#as i understand there's people that have it way worse every day

[chdarling]

As we’re getting closer to a truly awful day for America, I just wanted to check in on you. Things are bleak and about to get so so much worse, I want you to know I’m here and many others are here too when you’re ready

This is very kind of you, thank you. Honestly, I have not been doing great. Watching my neighbors elect a racist, fascist, Nazi-loving rapist triggered a pretty bad depressive episode on top of what was already the worst period of professional and creative burnout of my life, so….I’m struggling. Still trying to claw my way out of the dark. I’m deeply appreciative of the kindness of this community and am sorry that I haven’t (and probably won’t for a little longer) been able to engage the way I once did. I will again one day, and I am so thankful to know all you wonderful people online. <3

On a note that is completely unrelated to this gentle ask, I’ve been getting a ton of messages lately asking for a date when TLE3 is coming out and I don’t feel up to answering them (sorry) so I’m just going to tack this on here since I buried my last post on the subject under a mountain of despair reblogs: TLE3 is going to take a while.

I’m still planning to continue with my writing projects (be they TLE or other things), but right now I’m focusing on securing my own oxygen mask, etc. When I finished posting TLE2, I said that I would be taking a break and also that I would not be posting TLE3 until I had written all of it (like I had for TLE1). Even if I had been writing diligently every single day since I posted the last chapter, I still wouldn’t be done, so please understand that it’s going to take a while. It certainly will not be coming in the next 6 months, very possibly not in 2025. I know some people won’t be happy to hear that, but just a fun statistic: OOTP has 257,045 words and took three years to write/publish after GOF. TLE2 has (and this makes me cringe a little) 407,079 words and took roughly 3 years to write as an unpaid side hobby on top of full time work, education, etc. I don’t say this to toot my own horn (frankly, it just makes me desperately want to retroactively edit the crap out of TLE2 lol), but rather to reiterate that writing a book-length work takes a lot of time, energy, and love. I don’t want it to take 3 years (and I don’t think it will, TLE3 will be a more reasonable length), but it’s certainly not going to be finished in a few months. That would be insanity and I am not that talented lmao.

I do know that the requests for updates come from a place of love and enthusiasm and excitement and I really, truly appreciate that. I also appreciate all of the kind words of the asks I haven’t been answering. Please know that I’ve read them, I love you, and I will be back eventually. I just have to focus on my health right now, and unfortunately these days being online is pretty bad for that, so I'm going to try to be logged off for a while.

And finally, on another completely unrelated but perhaps mildly tangential note: if anyone has any books recommendations or resources on processing climate grief, I, uh, could use them. 🫠

[galaxymagitech]

Sacrifice

Yeah...I decided to do Whumpuary 2025 last minute. Here's my first fic. And if you have any requests for the other days, feel free to ask!

Summary: Batman’s life has been declared forfeit long ago, as he stood in the candlelight and swore an oath. But Robin? Robin is off limits.

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson

Warnings: Kidnapping, attempted human sacrifice, fight scene with broken bones

You can read it here or on AO3.

If the choice came down to Batman’s life or the life of a single civilian, Bruce would sacrifice himself in an instant. It has to be that way. Because the moment he starts viewing his life as more important than those of the people he’s protecting, there can be no Batman.

So, Bruce is not a selfish man. He understands sacrifice on too deep of a level for most to even contemplate. Every day, he shrouds himself in shadows and goes out into what might be his grave, throwing himself into the flames, the bullets, the paths of madmen. He cares if he dies, because the death of Batman would put the whole city at risk. And yet, he will gladly die for the people he protects. His life has been declared forfeit long ago, as he stood in the candlelight and swore an oath.

But Robin? Robin is off limits.

Bruce races to the location of the peripheral temple his informant gave him, entering immediately through the roof. He’s been trying to track these cultists for weeks so that they could unwittingly lead him to their main temple, where they have the records of all their members and past—and future—victims. He had held off on compromising his informant, with the knowledge that the delay would save countless lives. But Batman will burn all those plans in an instant, because now the cultists have Robin.

Carefully, Bruce pries open the cover on the skylight—the one over the room that the informant said is where the cultists conduct the sacrifices. Bruce scans the room below. He registers the cultists, clothed in bright, lurid colors. The arched doorway. The brightly-colored snake statues throughout the room that could provide cover. But his vision focuses on the stone table at the center of the room, where the cultists have cuffed Dick, and the woman with her glimmering dagger raised above Dick’s chest.

Normally, Bruce would plan. But he can’t afford to do that. Any more than the second he has already taken, and the dagger held above Dick’s chest could fall. Bruce was almost too late. He will not fail Robin like this.

Batman descends from the rafters like a demon, cloak swirling behind him, and the cultists shriek in fear.

Strategically, Bruce should go for the cultists at the door, the ones armed with guns. But they are not the priority. Dick is.

The woman who was about to kill Robin falls to the ground, her ribs cracking under the force of Batman’s boot. The guards fire immediately, but Bruce whirls around so that his bulletproof cape covers the table where the cultists cuffed Dick. Bruce needs to leap into action, but he can’t abandon Dick. Even if Bruce tries to draw their fire, one of the cultists could slip past him and attempt to complete the ritual. Worse, a stray bullet could hit Dick. The probability is low, but the risk is too terrible to allow.

With a quick motion, Bruce detaches his cape, draping it over Dick’s trembling body. And then, with only his speed and the far worse protection of his suit, Bruce launches himself towards the cultists who tried to kill his ward.

Bruce moves purely on instinct. A kick to the wrist sends the gun flying out of one of the cultists’ hands. Crack. Someone’s arm breaks. It’s not Bruce’s. A bullet grazes Bruce’s arm, sending a flash of pain through him, but that doesn’t matter. Tackle. Duck. Disarm and disrupt.

One of the cultists makes a break towards the table where Robin is cuffed and Bruce throws a batarang, catching the man in the shoulder. Two more, and the man goes down, bleeding profusely from his leg.

Elbow to the face. A kick to the back of the knees. A punch to the neck. One of the cultists stumbles and Bruce catches his arm and snaps it like a twig. Batman, when provoked, is brutal.

When the fight is over, less than two minutes after it began, Bruce is standing above the unconscious or sobbing cultists, their ankles and wrists cuffed or ziptied. They’re alive, but they won’t be having a fun next few months. Good.

Bruce lifts his cape from where it’s draped over Dick like a blanket and gently removes the gag from the boy’s mouth. Dick doesn’t say a single word, let alone resume his near-constant stream of chatter. It’s wrong. Robin should never be silent.

Quickly, Bruce gets to work on removing the cuffs. While Batman clothes himself in blacks and greys and most of the evil cults that crop up in Gotham force their sacrifices to wear white, this one focuses on the brightest colors possible. So when a few of their members fought Robin, in his emerald green and ruby red and canary yellow, they thought he was made for them.

Well, they can’t have him.

When the final cuff is removed, Bruce expects Dick to spring to his feet—or, at least, sit up. But he doesn’t so much as move. Bruce has to help him up, stooping low to catch Dick as he half-falls half-slides off the stone table. This is nothing like Robin. This is wrong.

Dick leans against Bruce’s side. “They followed me,” he whispers, voice hoarse. He must—he must’ve been screaming, before they put the gag in. “They wanted Robin.”

Bruce wraps an arm around Dick’s shoulders and bows his head. He understands, now. Dick has been kidnapped a few times before, by people far more terrifying than poisonous snake cultists. But they always wanted Batman, and Robin was just a means to an end. These people went after Robin, and Robin alone. This time, Dick, in his traffic light colors, was a bullseye.

Bruce tries to blink away the image of Robin, cuffed to the stone table and trembling. But he can’t. He can’t. Because the cultists may have wanted Robin, but that was Bruce’s fault. He’s the one who let Dick put on that costume, with too many bright colors for Gotham’s dreary nights. He’s the one who trained Dick to fight by his side. He’s the one who taught Dick the oath and had him swear it by the candlelight, just like Bruce did.

And—

Bruce had had plans. Those plans are pointless, now that he’s revealed the existence of his informant with this attack. He’ll have to start from scratch, and it’ll take weeks more to find the cultists’ main temple. But when Bruce had found out where Dick was, he hadn’t even hesitated.

That oath made Bruce’s own life forfeit. But that can’t be the case for Dick. Because, unlike Bruce, Dick’s life is worth everything.

Batman will sacrifice anything for the mission. Anything, except for Robin.

Bruce tucks Dick’s head against his chest. “I’ve got you, Robin,” he says. “Let’s go home.”

[skyfallscotland]

I don’t know if this is weird, but I don’t have many friends and I am weird, admittedly so…yolo, but this is just a diary post really of all the things on my mind right now.

• The response on ink & mistletoe was really lovely and I’m especially grateful for it while I’m still having a rough time.

• I really wanted to write more this week because I wanted to finish off ink & mistletoe and Truth & Talon before Onyx Storm comes out, but I have a migraine again and I’ve just been so exhausted it’s not happening, which sucks.

• I did start a new book though—my first of 2025—Just For the Summer by Abby Jimenez. One of my resolutions for the new year is to read more actual books, so I’m off to a start at least. One thing that wigged me out though, it’s first person past-tense? What the fuck is that, why are we doing that? My brain does not like.

• Speaking of Onyx Storm, should I start posting my theories now as I write them, or just save it for one big post a few days before?

• I’m still incredibly bothered by not only the continuing trend of oh surprise another special edition with content not available to you! But also mostly the response from other people to it, mostly Americans, because no one else is saying “no one’s making you buy them all” or “having choices is a good thing” because uhh *checks notes* we don’t? We just pay twice the amount of money you do for made-in-a-sweatshop, falling apart crap with less features.

• Also, just as an aside so you all are ready, I’m fairly certain there’s a special edition of Iron Flame coming…probably with bonus content. Someone asked if she was going to do one because it just had plain edges and she replied with a winking face. I’m going to say in Feb/March, and with dragon edges to match OS & the original FW print run. Call me Cassandra, idk.

• My (undiagnosed, I guess) OCD is getting worse, so if anyone has any tips or tricks for that throw them my way because seeing a psychiatrist in this town is not only the price of a small car, but almost impossible. Everyone’s books are closed, because we’re all a fucking mess apparently idk. They did say they had someone who might find me and my eclectic collection of mental illnesses “interesting” though, so I at least get to send my referral through 🙃

• Lastly, I am once again calling for people to stop drowning. If you come to Australia, please understand how rips work. If you’re not a strong swimmer, don’t swim anywhere there aren’t lifeguards. You are not as safe as you think you are, I promise you. Almost every day there’s been another drowning death that’s been entirely preventable and it’s infuriating, half the time there are kids involved. Don’t put your kids at risk for fuck’s sake. View the below if you’re curious (or coming here). I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t spot them from front on, most people can’t unless they grew up on the beach, but again, if you can’t that’s why you shouldn’t swim anywhere help can’t get to you. 31 people drowned in four weeks is madness when there are over 600 patrolled beaches in this country. And people worry about the wildlife, good lord.

[velvetvexations]

Okay OP, I'm gonna dig into your response now!

this is not true! tme/tma are for indicated institutional transmisogyny, not interpersonal.

Tell that to Everyone Who Uses It.

i have yet to see a transfem demanding that people use tme/tma in their bio or as a personal descriptor or so forth.

They don't have to if most people do it already. You certainly never see people arguing NOT to put it in your bio, although I definitely have seen people fiercely arguing that to give people the impression you're "TMA" when you aren't is an act of violence.

Also, transradfems can be self-identified TMEs, like yourself! A lot of them are, in fact.

txttletale

Her problem should be with people who use it and describe it that way every day then

But oh, joy, am I happy you did this! You're going to bring up how awful it is that a transandrobro doesn't think it's a good or feasible solution to kick all the Jews out of Israel? I'm going to make you explain to me how you defend the scores of genocide txttletale openly supports or considers NBD as a tankie.

i understand seeing it that way, but just because you read every post with the word "tme" as meaning "transmascs" does not mean that's what the posts are actually talking about.

Literally the other day I saw someone say "tme/cis men."

this is sort of silly. you just used the word transphobia right there! a word that suits most needs in the transmasc community!

I said transandrophobia was a "kind" of transphobia, just as transmisogyny is. This is silly. The thing I said is literally equally true of transmisogyny! Does that make transmisogyny useless as a term?

I don't think it does, btw. Just in case you're one of the TRFs that thinks people who believe in transandrophobia deny transmisogyny even exists.

do you maybe think this serves as a bad representation of your ideals?

I mean, there are TRFs out there writing books about reclaiming radical feminism and thousands of them defending jokes about killing other minorities, I think you can deal with me being a bit bitchy tbh.

i agree! you'll find later in my post that i said trans men being shitty doesn't excuse all of transfems' jokes or responses. then you said "not how it is" with no elaboration!

You said the transmasc response was disproportionate when almost all of the hostility has been from the TMA/TME crowd.

if we're going to bring up our personal experiences with being misconstrued as opposing sides of the tme/tma dichotomy,

We're not doing that. What we're doing is describing harassment we've gotten in the transandrophobia discourse trenches. That stuff happening to me wasn't an example of people mistaking me for being transmasc and randomly deciding to be mean to a transmasc, it was people attempting to punishing me for taking this side.

i would say trying to weaponize legal power and COUNTERTERRORISM against a tumblr post by a venting minority is a bit much, no?

Sure! Tons of transandrophobia people agreed with you and told him to get fucked. What'd I tell you about posting examples of transandrophobia people getting transmisogynistic? We don't tolerate being transphobic towards other trans people 'round these parts!

genuinely, legitimately, i would rather you insult me directly than trying to condescend me like this on my own post.

<3

txttletale for her good opinions

Yeah? Her good opinions about genocide?

it seems fitting to start with acknowledging the massive harassment campaign

Yeah, sorry, two harassment campaigns against trans women by mostly cis people and completely unrelated to transandrophobia drama is not relevant here. Are you just trying to like...prove trans women have it worse than trans men? Because, sure, we can have THAT argument, but that's completely unrelated to if transandrophobia or it the people who believe in it are inherently transmisogynistic!

which really calls into question the recurring choice to accuse trans women of being radfems

^extremely popular Tumblr "transfeminist," who recently pushed for the word 'transemasculation' to replace transandrophobia and got a good number of self-identified TMEs to back it

terfs post in the transandrophobia tags to put down trans women

TERFs trying to exploit divisions in the community!? Oh my God! OH MY GOD THAT'S SO SURPRISING! It must be because the trans men are inherently the ones doing something wrong! TERFs would never try to exploit legitimate cases of transmascs being treated poorly, they're just attracted naturally like flies to all the evil transmisogynistic rifts in the community!

weird transmisogynistic theorizing

The first was written by a trans woman and the second was a very funny joke about hyperbolic whining about sOcIaL mUrDeR. And before you start with me, I was *actually* subjected to extremely cruel, prolonged, and viciously transphobic canceling and harassment over a period several years from the age of around fourteen to around twenty, so I have more than a right to be annoyed with said hyperbolic whining.

predstrogen sitch

straight-up not about trans men bro

we can have conversations for a million years about the fact that some trans women are assholes to trans men and vice versa and would probably get nowhere because, in your defense, me making a post where i go "well the trans guys were mean first" is not the best argument.

Yeah, you really do suck at this. I've never said trans men are never transmisogynistic, but that trans men who are transmisogynistic regularly get called out and jumped on by everyone else if they get notes at all, while thousands of TMA/TME weirdos will die on the hill that jokes about killing trans men are okay and non-binary people being called slurs is a transfeminist W.

i think its worthy to note in terms of severity just how prevalently "baeddel" gets thrown around

It's in half of TRF's URLs.

"well they got called it first"

good for them they were so insulted by being associated with ideology they totally don't support from people who sexually abused other trans women that they made it their public facing persona ironically

I've seen TRFs call the original baeddel group "based transfeminists." Have you ever seen anyone who complains about being called a baeddel complain because it's the name of a radfem group that sexually abused other trans women, or was it all just complaining because it's, like, such a totally mean name to call people? Because not having a problem with baeddel ideology, and actually propagating it with barely even a reskin, is why it cropped up in the first place! It did not come out of nowhere, my man!

but i don't think pointing out that some nonbinary people do in fact use their cagab as a crutch for bad takes is a crazy concept.

Yeah, then what do-

sorry

cagab

fuck yourself

but i don't think pointing out that some nonbinary people do in fact use their cagab as a crutch for bad takes is a crazy concept.

Yeah, then what do you make of this?

so laser targeted!

the last time i checked "theyfab" wasn't an incredibly dehumanizing porn category

no it's just a term invented by 4chan transmeds to mock non-binary people

spacelazarwolf is a zionist transandrobro

You're an idiot and an anti-Semite. <3

trans men vs trans women

Still not what's being discussed. Again, we can discuss that, but I'm trying to keep you focused because you keep going off track like an imaginative child that doesn't want to be constrained by coloring in the lines.

i think that transandrobros chalking up transphobia to anti-masculinity

FINALLY, God, that took you long enough to get back to transandrophobia. Did you have fun in Narnia?

If you want to call all the people who have directly attested to me that they were kicked out of "trans friendly" spaces for being too masculine liars, you may! Call them liars. Go on!

Also, just today I saw someone saying that they had to be scared of trans men because women have to distrust men as a result of misogyny. OP was unable to explain how this was different from TERF distrust of people AMAB, which, by the way, is absolutely because they hate people they perceive as men. They were radfems before they were trans exclusionary! Have you read The Transexual Empire? Have you read ANYTHING by radfems written in the 20th century? They didn't used to talk about trans people as they do now and even today a lot of radfems here on Tumblr are vocal about how you shouldn't hate trans women more than any other "man," which goes to show a lot of them have been brainwormed but that the roots of the ideology have always been an extreme reaction to the patriarchy that catches other women (trans women) in the crossfire.

or emphasizing trans women being amab further affects them being seen as a third gender that is inherently oppressed

People who can hold two ideas in their skull at once can understand the fact that a trans woman being perceived as a faggot rather than "a woman you can treat like a man" doesn't mean she's given male privilege.

i am incredibly familiar with the urge to self flagellate my identity for acceptance

clearly

there was a brief period of time when i empathized with transandrobros largely out of my personal discomfort as a nonbinary person with the terms tme/tma - this pretty much entirely dissolved when i began to understand those terms not as obligatorily publicized personal descriptors but as tools with a communicative purpose. perhaps more importantly, i learned that most of the people involved with the proliferation of the "transmisandry/transandrophobia" concept were treating trans women like complete and utter shit and then making tgirls out to be the instigators. for this reason i seriously encourage every transmasc who finds themself feeling riled up against trans women to, like, double check the kind of messages and comments the angry girls are getting. i promise you, it becomes a lot more evident why those women are describing discomfort or fear or bitterness around trans men when you see the kind of sexually abusive, misogynistic, violent messages they're getting first. no, that doesn't excuse every joke or response, but it makes you understand how disproportionate the transmasc reaction can be. and if you can't find what i'm talking about, you don't see any examples of trans men being misogynistic, literally just message me and i'll be happy to provide as wide a range of examples as possible

[idk-i-want-mcl-content]

:p

[puppppppppy]

man

[jayceeartz]

You know what? I think it's about time I set some selfship boundaries to avoid something like this from happening again.

If you think of Henry in a weird way (sexualizing, overprotective, etc.), please DNI/block me. I wasn't expecting to need to say this, but I've had to block like 4 people because of shit like that. It makes me highly uncomfortable, and it doesn't match my personal HCs for him.

And if my art of him pisses you off to the point where you want to fucking kill me, BLOCK ME!!! It's not that hard to not interact with me. You're making the situation worse for me and yourself. You don't need to shove it in my face and make me feel bad about myself.

If you have an oc that you ship him with, that's okay! If you ship him with someone else's oc, that's okay too! If you're just some gooner that's just here to sexualize the character, NOW we have problems. I love seeing how other people characterize him, even if it's not exactly how I see him. And I also like seeing other OCs being shipped with him. People are obviously aloud to like characters.

That's why I'm semi sharing when it comes to selfshipping. The last thing I want is to be toxic to others. I may be passive-aggressive at times, but the thought of being an ass to someone just for having fun and liking the same character as me terrifies me. I like spreading positively. But with that positively comes boundaries. Just please don't be mean. Be nice to me, and I'll be nice to you!

I figured since it's a new year, I should start finally setting boundaries. So yeah. If these are kinda hard to understand, then sorry. It's not every day I make posts like these about boundaries. Mainly because it's hard for me to put into words. But anyway, thank you soo much for reading and understanding! You all mean a lot to me!!💖

Tw: kind of a call out post I guess, death threat, mentions of murder and mentions of suicidal thoughts.

I doubt anyone will read this, but I feel like I need to talk about this individual I met on pinterest. I'm sorry if this is badly told and sorry for the lack of screenshots. This happened months ago and I completely forgot about it but I found out we are in a tnmn discord server together. Obviously I blocked them on there but the whole situation is bothering me again. I don't really have anyone to talk about this to so yeah I'm so scared to post this. And sorry if this is a lot to read.

Because i don't really know what pronouns they go by, I'm gonna prefer to them as they/them.

I had posted chenry art on my pinterest account (since deleted cause pinterest is a toxic hell scape) and I kept getting comments from this one account. They were saying shit like "am I supposed to like this????" And a ton of other things I didn't screenshot at the time cause I was really overwhelmed. Their username was something a long the line of "I really love Henry!!!!" Which was already making me feel shitty cause I knew why they were doing this. I was just going to block them but they got in my DMs and asked for my discord. I gave it to them for whatever reason and we started chatting and it was going okay. We talked about tnmn and horror movies but they still seemed pretty pissed with me. We kept talking when they out of nowhere said this

(I'm Bastard and they're Rat)

I thought they were just telling a horrible joke. But they started talking about personal stuff that I won't be showing. But I tried being understanding, but it was obvious they were taking my kindness for granted.

After talking about that they said this.

But of course, I'm not gonna stay friends with crazy person who wants me dead and probably has my IP address. So I asked my good friend on Instagram if I should keep them or not and showed them the screenshots. And they were like "JAYCEE! THEY THREATENED YOU BLOCK THEIR ASS FAST!!!" and so I immediately did so. And I spent the rest of the night wanting to kms.

That happened like, months ago. I completely forgot about the whole thing. But I found them in a discord server I'm in. And I haven't really felt safe on pinterest or discord or anything cause idk all of their socials. I generally feel like someone's out there wanting to kill me. But to anyone who might wanna block them, here's their socials that I was able to find.

I hate to sound dramatic, but I feel so scared to post this. What if they find this and start harassing me more or doxx me? Just to be safe I'm going to leave that server I'm in with them. I don't interact much on there anyway.

I'm really sorry for posting this out of nowhere. And sorry my dumbass didn't have many screenshots. I feel like such a fucking idiot for giving them my discord. This whole situation is stupid and wouldn't have happened if I didn't post my chenry art..

But yeah. Please be safe and aware of red flags when talking to people on the internet! You never know what could happen!

[a-blip-of-billdip]

this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.

So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.

SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.

These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.

because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.

So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?

Yeah. Im out ✌🏼

[kavehater]

Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

[jenny-dreadful]

.

[wibble-wobbegong]

my dream is to one day host a 3 hour lecture where i just talk about elmike and how their relationship is the most complex and unique (in the sense that they’re incredibly subversive of tropes and avoid tons of cliches, not that they’re the most special pair or whatever) in the show

[oscargender]

to knowis to be loved and to be known is to b eloved. I want transgender friends who will know me and love me in a way that cis people usually do not

[no-one-hears-me]

I miss all my old friends and it's sad to think that they probably don't feel the same way

[milo-is-rambling]

Me when I want to be wanted more than anything else

[celibibratty]

It's like Marina said, as bad as the mini fight of that day was, it was necessary, we finally talked about the things we suffered and showed how they also hurt us, and how mom hurts us too, she doesn't understand/doesn't try to understand us, and that's it!, maybe that's just how it is, mom is like that, she's not considerate, she doesn't understand what we suffered indeed

Before that it seems that I/we get it very frustrated with that, even though I didn't admit it, it seems like I wanted her to understand, I/we wanted her approval, but now with this day....we don't need her approval, it's just like that, mom is like that, she'll never understand what we went through, and she's not interested in the things we do indeed, and that's all right, she's just like that, she doesn't understand and she doesn't need to understand, I/we no longer want her to understand and be interested

[astralsys]

hi again been a bit... uhhh why'd I wanna make this again? oh right talking about random shit. I do wanna get back into some things I left off with some friends of mine, but due to being me and it being a very hard existence things didnt go as planned and I kinda dropped it and lost interest.... which really sucks cause I have so many ideas for where I wanted to take my story ( working on a kirby au of sorts havent sorted out through the entire thing cause my brain doesnt wanna work with me :/ ) that I wanted to actually bring into existence instead of it all just being in my head or a rough draft. maybe I can push myself into gaining interest again by actually working on it again. what I had orginally thought up is no longer what I wanna go with so new things are hard to come up with. off topic from that I have so many fucking games I need to get back to and the game list keeps getting bigger and bigger its gonna drown me at some point :( whyyyyy do I keep doing this to myself.... doom I'm dooming myself this is what I'm doing. and cause I'm me I'm def gonna be forgetting that I made this post in the first place! dont you love being this mess of a person? isnt this FUN?!