#AND she’s out of network. FUCK
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to knowis to be loved and to be known is to b eloved. I want transgender friends who will know me and love me in a way that cis people usually do not
#getting floored by transgendered feelings tonight. I went full femme last night in a way that I haven’t in a long time and it really made#it clear that what I enjoy about looking feminine is the ATTENTION. PEOPLE PAY SO MUCH GODDAMN ATTENTION TO PRETTY WOMEN#I will fully admit that I love getting positive attention for my looks irl. Like I’m not really pretty unless I#put a lot of effort into makeup and clothes so getting compliments on my clothes/appearance is like crack cocaine#which is not healthy. I don’t WANT to care about what I look like#but tbh one of the reasons I enjoyed cosplaying so much is that I got all that attentiob without the requisite feminity. Hahaha hhhhhhh#Last night as I was putting myself together for the charity dinner I felt like I was dressing up a doll. FULL out-of-body barbie vibes#I’m so disconnected from feminine feelings right now. But at the same time I had so much fun being pretty and getting compliments#idk. I don’t even know how to feel. I’m so goddamned tired of all this#if I could beam a perfect understanding of gender fluidity into the brains of everyone I meet I would have come out YEARS ago#I just don’t want to be alienated any more than I already am from the people around me#living in the us south means suffering alone in transness I guess.#I don’t want to be the first genderfluid/nonbinary person EVERYONE has ever met. I don’r want to have to justify my existence#but this cannot go on. but I’m afraid of T. I don’t want to go bald 😭#and I still want to wear dresses from time to time#maybe the solution is becoming a lolita lifestyler. dress myself up as a doll every day for the fucking compliments#leave no room for dissatisfaction with feminity. FUCK#I NEED A GENDER THERAPIST WORSE THAN ANYTHING#BUT IT’S THE SOUTH AND THE NEAREST ONE TO ME IS OVER AN HOUR AWAY#AND she’s out of network. FUCK#anyway I watched an episode of the new f*llout show and it was pretty good 😊#AND I’m playing st*rdew valley again on the new update and the update IS SO FUN#<-lil media update to lighten up this post.#this post was typed up not from a place of despair but from a place filled with the same emotions that a dog chasingits owntail experiences#I’m doing well enough mentally that I can deal with my transgender feelings again yknow. maslows heirarchy of needs with m#with transgender feelings at the top#weekend whining
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Season 4 hope/prediction: Deb's show is solid, zero issues, runs flawlessly with great ratings, but her personal life is completely eroding. We start with her discovering Marcus is leaving, and it culminates in DJ going into labor right before a taping. Deb chooses the show. When it's over, and she finally flies to Vegas, it's too late -- Aiden's not letting her in because he loves his wife too much to let DJ get into a shouting match with her mom right after giving birth, and instead takes the brunt of Deb's wrath, with her making excuses and talking about how they used her money for IVF, and anyway, DJ's fine, so who cares if she wasn't there? Kathy's in the room with DJ and the baby (DJ's the closest she has to a daughter, after all) and Deb leaves too furious to think about how badly she's hurt her family.
She heads back to her Vegas mansion -- empty, obviously, Josefina and the dogs would be in LA -- and pops open a bottle of wine. Alone. Completely alone. Can't call Marty, she has no friends, the closest she's got would be Kiki and wouldn't that be embarrassing, calling your poker dealer to talk about your feelings --
and then Ava's there. She got the news about DJ's labor, she got the story from Aiden (who was distraught, by the way, man's too much of a sweetheart for Vance drama), a spare key from Damian (happy to pawn that off on her, though if it isn't returned promptly he's taking legal action) and has arrived just in time to see the Deborah Vance having a breakdown the likes of which no one thought physically possible. Crying gives you wrinkles, you know. But Ava has to be here. She's the physical embodiment of a lesson Deb never truly learned: you don't have to like someone to love them.
In my imaginary fantasy land that I am concocting this would then subsequently lead into them fucking nasty but I understand that this may be a step too far for the surprisingly large number of very normal people who watch this show and would forgive JPL for not taking it that far. However I do believe they should fuck about it and let Ava take the reigns in their relationship while they see how many of Deb's bridges they can un-burn.
#hacks hbo#ava x deborah#avorah#avadeb#hey if anyone wants to bother writing this for real go for it I don't care#if any of this is any degree of accurate for JPL's vision of s4 then I will be extremely happy#deb is NOT miranda priestly#miranda knew from the start that she could never have human connection or she'd lose her dream job#deb has inspired such genuine devotion that she does not understand that a woman in a man's role historically requires sacrifice#she knew the fire cost her the show but she didn't KNOW that that was the only reason until now#that the network did not give a shit at all#the advertisers did and the advertisers are the true enemy#she still believes she got to the top through hard work and talent#wrong the deborah vance brand was built by people who love her and believe in her#only when she has lost DJ will she be open to hearing the truth (that it was a group effort)#from the mouth of the one person who stood by her out of a wombo combo of love and spite#only THEN will she accept that kathy was right#THIS is why frank left her. THIS behavior. the belief that SHE is a special queen who did it all alone#frank was scum by the way dude groomed her little sister#his behavior is fucked but his reason is close enough to correct that ava can use it as an example of how much deb HAS to change#btw please please please we need deb sleeping with ava and not calling it a mistake because she's too fucking tired and sad
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society if. spnwin season 2 [sigh]
#they were cooking !!!!#i wanted to see where robbie was going. that man had PLANS#and the multiverse of it all. i just knowwww the scooby-gang would eventually end up crossing over to the main spn universe at some point#and meet jody donna the girls garth literally anyone and everyone who'd want to come back#also. the rowena we see in spnwin.......still sus abt her. still think she was *our* rowena doing a bit of universe hopping#loki / gabriel too.....i wanted to SEE what would come of that#like. is it reaaaally too late? i mean. who said you can't put out a s2 on a new network 2 yrs later huh?#they could get the band back together. like why not spnwin s2 AND spn revival in 2025 ?? let's fucking goooooo#vic.txt#spnwin
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pov youre having another meeting with the annoying academics & this person in the back looks kinda familiar
#im abt to reread network effect just for this does she know what it looks like???? do you think shell ever find out what happened?????#my dream for leonide is for system collapse to irrevocably alter her worldview and she finds herself unable to do her work as efficiently#cause shes constantly wondering what the secunits are thinking about the people etc etc she starts trying to make conversation with them#she ends up getting rescued by mbs humans again when the secunits take over the be ship and leave her on some colony#and then when shes unemployed (because she lost sm equipment or whatever) and forced to take up a job at pumnt they do tell her#& then she doesnt talk to anyone for twenty days#(also shes fucking. like so much.) (<- in any fic writer is taking inspo. please note)#the murderbot diaries#system collapse#system collapse spoilers#leonide#three#my art
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...
#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
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they put the televangelist in the same school as at least two extremely radicalizable children
#not art#the like. kipperlily ''lack of narrative'' story fucked me up baby you are PRIME decentralized cult material#and buddy dawn.... like we understand in this One regard kristen is extremely lucky right#that she found a really fucking good support network right out of leaving her old faith#lmao this is why I dont dare dabbling too hard into fh the Setting. that is Too Current#those are my friends but with less social mobility bc theyre Fucking Teens!!!! they can kill monsters but#can they Live. In The World. watching fh this close to teenagehood is stressful lmao
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okay rewatching s2e3 of iwtv while reading the vampire lestat and............. if they dont give us gabrielle in s3 im afraid i may have to commit some crimes.
#im guessing she was left out/a lot of lestat's backstory was left out for the sake of time and simplicity#plus the focus here is really on armand#but with that said. if i dont get to see an old androgynous woman who is her bisexual son's lover in s3 i will be so fucking pissed off#i understand why the network would be wary of including her esp if the writing team wants to stay close to her book characterization#and if the way they changed claudia's character/interpersonal relationships is anything to judge by gabrielle will be VERY different#but please i need insane androgynous old woman PLEASEEEEEE#iwtv#tvl
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Rookie mistake is to believe your own character when they lie to your face.
That said, I don't think this is something that possibly could've happened as long as Roberts was still a part of the New Sequence. Her sense of self and identity were so tightly interwoven with her relationship to the Commodore, as his pseudo-son and the perfect Victorian officer following the Fall, that there was no way to extricate herself from that mindset. Even now, she thinks of herself with masculine language when thinking on that time and that relationship. No matter what happens, she was always his golden boy right up until his death. And only after she'd let go could she come to terms with who she is outside of that relationship, outside of her role in the navy.
I think the shift in her personality brought on by dawnburning may have also played a role in why this was buried so deeply. Dawnlight ego death had made Roberts more selfless, more focused on success of the group than any individual. She's had decades of practice at ignoring her own boundaries and own desires for the sake of the whole. Decades of habit she's still struggling to undo. What's one more voice? Especially when it's mumbling something she neither has the vocabulary nor experience to decipher. Easier to put on the uniform, the one she's expected to wear, because she has nothing else to put on.
Even now, she doesn't really have words for any of it. Roberts isn't entirely sure what she's doing. She's following impulse, trying to find what feels correct, what makes her happy. Her, and not anyone else. I'm not sure if she'd consider herself a woman at this point. She's deliberately not thinking about any of the implications, any of the conclusions, just what feels most right. And only time can tell where she'll go and what that journey will bring.
#roberts#man i did not expect this to be a thing i get actual real life emotions about#this egg cracked once the sediment had started to settle after the commodore's death#and it genuinely freaked me out a bit#'are you sure? are you absolutely sure about this?'#'you're in your 50s#just lost your job and your home for your entire adult life#have no friends or family or any sort of support network#can't pass for shit at the moment#and have a lifelong fear of being the butt of the joke'#'is this really the moment you choose to transition?'#apparently the answer is yes#i get secondhand anxiety thinking about it#but you know what#the road looks bright#she's figuring her shit out#this is the most peaceful tapping into 'roberts state of mind' has ever felt since her inception#and she's still utterly swagless and going to fuck things up#but they're going to be different fuck ups#and i'll be out here supporting and enabling womens wrongs
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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long post under the cut. i'm writing out a somewhat redacted transcript of the utter BULLSHIT i put up with yesterday
warnings for transphobia, transphobia EVERYWHERE. also, i show my arse here. i'm not a perfect person and my temper got the better of me in a BIG way.
messages in a group chat between sister, mum and me.
[screenshot of a facebook post, posted by [sister]. tagged [deadname]. post reads: I will always cherish these memories of my twin sister and I. Losing my twin sister was the worst pain imaginable, and I'm still very much grieving this. I'm working hard to rebuild a brand new relationship with a brand new person [blue love heart emoji]]
Me (7.16pm): what the fuck is this?
Me (7.19pm): I haven't died. I am still very much alive. I'd appreciate it if you didn't say you were "working hard to rebuild a brand new relationship with a brand new person" and out me to people as transgender without my permission. It shows a flagrant disregard to my privacy and safety.
Me (7.23pm): I am deeply hurt that you are sharing memories from a facebook account I no longer have access to. I'm just completely shocked that you would think this is a kind and fair thing to do to me. Take it down.
Me (7.23pm): Now.
--
Sister (9.02pm): Wtf is wrong with you
Sister (9.05pm): I've not said you've died, I've said I'll always cherish there's (sic) memories. [Deadname] is gone and is never coming back, don't be so selfish and put yourself in someone else's shoes for a change. Out you as transgender? I've not tagged Parker anywhere. You've changed yourself as male legally and have been someone else for years - it's public information
Sister (9.07pm): Look, you have all the time in the world to sit there and argue and be a snowflake
Sister (9.08pm): Fuck off, I want nothing to do with you - you completely selfish cunt
Sister (9.08pm): I just want MY [DEADNAME] back
Me (9.09pm): Are you aware that people are reacting to that post as if I have died? Interesting that you call it selfish to want a modicum of privacy and respect from you. How dare you. How very dare you. I'm aware you haven't tagged me as Parker. I'm aware that for whatever reason you refuse to see me as Parker. You'd rather make up a fuss over [Deadname] than respect me as I am and lash out when you're called out on poor behaviour. I, my personality, hasn't changed. I am still who I have always been except I now use a name, pronouns and body I am comfortable in.
Sister (9.09pm): You have changed
Sister (9.09pm): I'm allowed to grieve
Me (9.10pm): I AM STILL ALIVE
Sister (9.10pm): [Deadname] isn't
Sister (9.10pm): Doesn't exist anymore
Sister (9.11pm): I'm not "[sister's name] the youngest of 5 girls"
Me (9.11pm): YOU NEVER FUCKING WERE
Me (9.11pm): I just didn't have the language to say it!
Sister (9.11pm): It's no longer "I have a twin" "boy or girl"
Sister (9.12pm): You did for 26 years
Me (9.12pm): Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?
Sister (9.12pm): I'm allowed to grieve. I've supported you best I can why don't you try and do the same
Sister (9.13pm): I've had a rough fucking time
Sister (9.13pm): And I'm always there for you when I (sic) need me
Me (9.13pm): You made your fucking bed, now lay in it.
Sister (9.13pm): Just try to be understanding and not offensive
Me (9.13pm): Are you?
Sister (9.13pm): Okay we're done
Me (9.13pm): Are you there for me?
Sister (9.13pm): When you need money?
Sister (9.13pm): Calling you brother
Sister (9.14pm): Me and [ex-boyfriend] have split up and I'm struggling. [Deadname] would've been nice
Sister (9.14pm): You're being a twat
Sister (9.15pm): You spend too much time on the internet
Sister (9.15pm): I don't have time to waste on this
Sister (9.15pm): Dead to me
Me (9.15pm): You don't call me your brother unless you want something. I asked you to help me with Mango in an emergency that was never needed. You ask me to look after your dog when you're getting too drunk you don't even know how you got home. You broke up with [ex-boyfriend] because you couldn't cope with the guilt of emotionally cheating on him. That's on you, not me.
Sister (9.16pm): Not completely accurate
Sister (9.17pm): You're dead to me
Sister (9.18pm): Hope mum is kind enough to keep funding your mentally ill "lifestyle"
--
Sister (9.54pm): You outer (sic) yourself as transgender on my page [5 laughing emojis]
Sister (9.54pm): And turned the blame to me
Sister (9.54pm): Brilliant
Mum (9.56pm): GO WALK
--
Sister (10.04pm): [Person] sent you a screenshot of my Facebook, you accepted my friend request 2 hours ago which I sent to you months if not a year ago just to have a go at me
Sister (10.04pm): And then has been gossiping about me inaccurately
--
Me (10.25pm): I'm only going to say this once. It wasn't [Person] who sent me a screenshot and there's absolutely no way I'm going to tell you who it is. As you happily informed me, it's public information.
Sister (10.26pm): 1) absolute bullshit
Sister (10.26pm): It's her background on the screenshot
Me (10.29pm): So the reason you're angry at [Person] is because the person who sent me the screenshot uses Dark Mode...which is a function that all modern smartphones can use... Okay. I'm not going to have this conversation with you because you sound unwell. Get better, [sister].
Sister (10.30pm): I'm grieving the loss of my twin sister and I'm grieving the end of a relationship. Other than that I'm fine. I've not taken a single day off work, I run a home and business, I eat clean, train, pay my way and contribute to society
Sister (10.31pm): You're the one with every mental illness going
Sister (10.31pm): You are dead to me
Sister (10.31pm): You are done
Sister (10.32pm): I loved [Deadname] more than anything and I will cherish and share my memories
Sister (10.32pm): I hate Parker
-- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- messages in a private chat between sister and me (note the timestamps!)
Sister (11.36pm): Goodbye
Sister (11.36pm): I've said goodbye to [Deadname] she's gone and never coming back
Sister (11.36pm): Now I'm saying goodbye to you
Sister (11.36pm): Don't every (sic) contact me again
Sister (11.36pm): Ever *
#what a fucking palava honestly#anyway upshot of this whole thing is my mum rang me inbetween the gaps in the conversation and has encouraged me to go completely no contac#oh! and the facebook post in question is still up!#because i've had 2 more people reach out to tell me that they've seen it and messaged my sister to get it taken down!#in a completely unsurprisingly twist of events she told them to kill themselves and blocked them!#from her public facebook page that she uses to network and promote her social media on!#hoooooly shit#non reblogable for obvious reasons!
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#okay no it's not the darkness getting to me there is a real life thing occupying a lot of my brain space#and idk if there's anything to be gained by speaking it out loud into the void but at the moment it's the only thing i Can do#i don't even have to click the 'post' button if i don't want to#but yeah. yesterday got the news that my mom's husband is dying. had a surprise heart attack and he's not gonna make it#just feels super fucking weird#personally i never really liked him at all so it's not like i myself necessarily have to grieve. never was that close with him#but like. oof this is going to be hard for my mom. and i'm super worried about how she's going to survive#but there's nothing to DO about it really. she wanted to have some space to come to terms with this on her own#and she has a strong support network of friends in her city. while i'm on the other side of the country#and don't even know what i could do to help if i was closer to her. i just. like. what can you even do in a situation like this?#just feels weird to Not do anything when i know how huge of an impact this will make for her entire life#she'll probably have to move to a different place too#and there are people there to help her. people with more life experience. people who probably know more about grief than i do#i just. i have no idea how one handles something like this. except for being there for her when asked#do eldest daughters have some sort of universal responsibilities that i'm just not aware of?#it feels kinda horrible how this is constantly circling back to what can *I* do and what must *I* do. how *I* feel#i'd never ever ever make things this much about me in any other setting than my own tumblr blog. in a tag whisper i'm not sure i'll post#but yeah all of this is eating my brain in a very weird way. an odd sort of limbo where it feels like there should be something here#it'd certainly be easier if i had any sort of relationship with the dead person myself. if i had something to grieve myself#now there's just a feeling that something Should be here to feel. and the knowledge of how hard this must be for my mom#ahhhhh idk none of this makes any sense i'm just speaking in circles and everything feels bad#it's bad and horrible and i don't know how to process any of this and i'm stuck in my brain and can't DO anything#there's nothing i can do to help my mom at this exact moment when she wants to be left alone with her thoughts#and i can't do anything else either because all of this feels like a heavy black cloud fogging up my brain#can't concentrate on anything at all today#not fun. not cool#sussitalk
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reeeeeeally wish. it didnt feel. like the needs of my body vs the needs of my brain were actively in fucking conflict with each other in a way that makes it impossible to function or exist
#toy txt post#chronic pain#just. really frustrated. cant see a way out or through or over or whatever here yall#augh#and dad wants me to. do what i was doing before that made everything worse somehow as a method to get my foot in the door and fucking#network???? to do?????? unclear. until i get what. middle management?#how the fuck would that help anything#meanwhile i am trying to muster the executive function to complete. the catpans#ouaghghahghhgghg#it is so hard to be gentle with myself about this bc it doesnt feel like i deserve gentleness for it! like i have worked so hard to try to#unlearn the ableism and shit but that doesnt really fucking help much if both my parents just keep that shit so deeply baked into their#worldview that they interpret me trying to treat myself a little gentler as being a lazy freeloader or whatever#like im really trying not to be too harsh on myself about this but for what? at least if im mean to me about it i have ground to stand on#in calling their meanness unjust and unnecessary cos dont worry!!!!!!!!! i can reproduce the entire fucking ableism cycle inside my own#head and self flagellate for not being able ti push through it like you guys did so you dont have to! in fact i am so good at it that it#makes it an impossible topic to address! bc i just speedrun everything into thinking of myself as worthless so you dont have to! see im not#a total laze/s#god. i hate this so much so fucking much. aaaaagh. there are a number of things i CAN do and unfortunately none of them seem to be#the necessary administrative faff of it all#oausbdjsfusbfhshhrrrgrhrhgggg#trying to organize notes of talking points to unpack this a little in therapy this week but its only the second appt. so like. she wanted#to go through a bit of a questionnaire? idkkkk
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SCREAM
Meeting about working at film festival went soooo well
#MILL VALLEY BABEY!!!! well hopefully but that’s looking like the most promising one#she like posted on Facebook to get extra engagement ASIDE from personally reaching out to people for me#like!!!!!!#what a fucking wonderful woman#“oh my favorite thing is introducing people and helping people network” thank YOU!!!!!!
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‘Another’s Mask’
The Masks We Wear [THIS WAS ON PURPOSE THIS WAS ON PURPOSE THIS WAS ON PURPOSE LMAO]
“ Through a fresh wind… This digivice will purify you into a beautiful and just soul! Digicode scan! ”
The unlucky troublemaker's Digicode unwrapped from its body, the strings following Fairymon's D-Scanner. What was left was a confused digimon, probably manipulated by the many Dark Area demons into causing havoc. Maybe it'd become a kinder creature this time.
Mission accomplished, it was time to rest. The Digicode now dissipating Fairymon's form, revealing a golden-haired girl, who giggled and clapped her hands.
" Commozione!! And I didn't even need to make all the mess the boys make! With a bit of strategy and care, any villain can be defeated without destroying the village they're attacking. "
" Aah... ", she sighed wistfully, " Now I just need a good serving of gelato to end the day... "
#World Wide Chosen Web | The Digimon Network#Out Of My I-Mart Shift | Out Of Character#fallingdarknesswarrior#[my girl..........who i never gave the attention she deserved...............]#[and now i don't have the brain or the memory to do it anyway]#[i had to rewatch the fairymon episode]#[i hate how it's FUCKING KOUJI who saves the day]#´[frontier why]
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Back to our regularly schedules beat downs with part 4 of this au with the wonderful Syn belonging to @seasidemew being put in situations!
Rainstorms
Rain lashed down hard and fast and Syn groaned from under his psychic protection as wind whipped up and slapped raindrops in his face. He did not like the rain, especially with it interfering with his flight and tracking, he couldn't sense anything past the heavy clouds and the rumbles of thunder. It'd been a few weeks since he last actually knew the location of the pair turned trio, he'd left to let their dynamic settle not wanting to deal with the fight and resistance as a new social dynamic formed and when he finally lazily backtracked to locate them he couldn't sense a trace! Nada, zilch!
He thought he sensed a ping of shadow energy far off east one day but it was too far away, with the pairs' travel pace even with Citrus' abilities they couldn't have gone that far could they? Not with May walking at least and from what he gathered from watching them she wasn't exactly the most confident when being carried around either.
Another harsh gust saw raindrops flying right into his eye and he snarled at the sky, "FINE," he growled as if it could hear him and was intentionally trying to provoke him. He shot up through the clouds' psychic energy creating a shield to protect him from any rogue lightning that may decide to take issue with him. Fighting through the storm he finally broke through and flew above it looking down tail swaying at the expanding storm, he lifted himself further looking to try to get an idea of how large the storm was to estimate how long it would annoyingly stay around for. His psychic powers couldn't penetrate the dense storm system meaning he couldn't sense anything below, they could be right below him and he wouldn't have the foggiest clue and that frustrated him greatly.
Summoning psychic energy in his palms he moved his hands in calculated swipes attempting to dispel the storm through sheer will, he saw the clouds shift and swirl underneath him and he smirked at his act of controlling nature.
Screeching in rage at the insult against his skies the long green serpentine god swirled and descended rapidly onto the dark hued Pokemon invading its territory and messing with the balance of things. Their body slammed into a protect barrier in an attempt to slam into this perceived rival knocking them backwards by the sheer force and weight behind their collision snarling at the creature in insult Rayquaza did not allow even a moments breath as a concentrated shot of energy blasted from the back of their throat right at the other causing the protect to splinter and shatter.
Syn shot to the side to avoid the blast glaring at the sky god, "Oh you want to play huh?" He smirked, eyeing up the creature already in a bad mood from the weather and feeling overly cocky with himself in general. Flying past as the god attempted to ram into him again he created shadow energy around his hand like a claw stabbing his hand down into the back of the creature as he flew past to rip a long slash like wound across the length of its back before he had to break away for it's screeching and attempt to whip him with its tail end. He smirked at the damage caused as he watched the gods body spin as it flew to adjust itself.
The draconic power infused rock slammed hard into his back from behind as crackling energy blasted once more from the gods mouth, the energy darted through the sky in shades of purples and blues creating the silhouette of a dragon as it flew slamming into his front secondd after the rock. Syn yelled out in pain feeling his chest burning from the impact as his back ached in turn. His gaze turned hateful towards the serpent crystal in his shoulder growing and power flowing through his veins as his form changed and he went for them again.
His fist collided hard downwards into Rayquazas face as they roared in pain speckles of blood flying out the god's nostrils as Syns fist ruptured blood vessels in the gods snout. His other fist came punching above the creatures eye causing at least a fracture before strategically backing off to attempt a downwards kick into the back of the gods neck. Rayquaza twisted, grabbing his leg in their maw and biting down hard with previously concealed teeth. Syn yelled once more the pain and frustration attempting to kick the gods face but they wouldn't let go.
Rayquaza began to move their neck and head beginning to shake and sway Syn in its jaw like he was some play thing, each jostle sending the gods teeth deeper into his flesh, blood beginning to pour from the gods mouth through the clouds. He moved his body to attempt to grab at and forcefully wrench the serpents mouth open but it only snarled biting down harder as he attempted to pull it's maw open.
Finally it threw him but before he could even rebalance himself it rammed into him with a sickening thud that shook the skies like a crack of thunder. The god didn't stop flying past and swirling around slamming into him over and over each collision with intent to break and hurt and not letting him escape, not allowing him a moment to regain any composure.
Pokemon in the woods below scurried and ran to shelter as the storm cracked and rumbled on above them sensing the dispute as Syns yells of pain were drowned in thunder.
Rayquaza wrapped itself around Syn, squeezing him hard in its middle section crushing him, he felt his ribs cracking and like his arms were going to be popped and crushed further into their sockets. He could feel his consciousness slipping as the god slowly unwound itself. His eyesight was blurry as he looked watching an abundance of energy form around the creature as its form grew larger, orange energy flowed from it's forms as it looked down at him in disgust, before he could think the gods tail came down on him like a mighty whip cutting through his flesh and sending him hurtling down through the sky with a horrid crack that resonated along the sky.
The god returned to its original state glaring down at the clouds before ascending back up into the upper atmosphere having defended its territory.
Syns body smashed and bounced against trees on his way down further damaging his already battered body, he rolled and landed face down onto a bouldery stoned area and an empty gasp of agony wheezed from his throat as he felt his ribs break and a searing hot pain in his chest. Despite the state of him driven by the crystals strength he began to push himself up gasping in pain with blood slowly dripping down the jagged pointed rock he'd landed on, that had punctured through his lung.
He barely managed to remove himself from the rock as his mega form broke suddenly, his hands slipping from the cold and wet as he tumbled off of the rocks into the wet mud and grass with a groan of agony. And there he lay without any more strength left in him to drag himself to shelter or heal, barely able to really form a logical thought around the pain of his body and the difficulty in breathing he was currently having each breath a fight and a wheeze at that.
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May had been out in the rain trying to find shelter, despite having managed to steal a human coat she still shivered for the cruel wind and felt soaked to the bone as she held a large leaf as a makeshift umbrella. She'd flinched to herself at the sound of the storm above, the sudden loud noises right overhead terrifying her with how unpredictable they were and relentless. All she could think of was a cave to at least shelter in she knew there was one nearby when she heard a strange sound. A wheezing, and no not the Pokemon. Despite her freezing fingers and trembling ankles begging her to just find shelter she moved her head and listened to follow the sound worried it may have been another Pokemon in distress.
The bloody bruised collapsed body that she found wasn't what she expected, despite the dimness of the tail and crystal she knew immediately who it was.
"Syn!" She hurried over, despite the fight despite the wariness of him to see him in this state, she couldn't just ignore it. She knew that she didn't really know him at all but she couldn't just continue walking. She knelt and carefully moved him into the recovery position to get a better look at him, gasping quietly at the bleeding wound on his chest on the left hand side. She felt the panic quickly setting in as she didn't know what to do.
Syn could hear someone nearby, had breathing not been so hard he would've tried to growl to preserve what little dignity he had left, his hearing was like he was underwater and incredibly faded but he was almost sure he heard his own name as his body was moved, he wheezed too weak to open his eyes exhaling a struggled, "nne…" as hands just slightly warmer than his cold body carefully cupped over his wound.
She couldn't let him die, she couldn't! I mean how was he supposed to become a better person to grow if he died right here right now? She couldn't let that happen; she owed it to him if he was truly sorry to at least have the chance to make it up to them. Her hands covered his wound as she struggled for clear thoughts, oran berries and medical leaks weren't enough to fix this the other wounds maybe but this looked bad real bad, it was a deep wound by the looks of it, as her hands covered the hole she could feel his breath escaping, oh god his lung was pierced. She tried to concentrate her thoughts to formulate a plan on how to save him, surely there would be some Pokemon nearby with some kind of healing move? Like, like recover or…
She didn't notice her hands blooming with warmth as she tried to think of what to do, green energy forming over her hands and flowing into him and over his body, the move focused on his internal damages mostly, closing the hole in his lung, fixing bone fractures and recorrecting other broken ones. When she opened her eyes from her panic thinking she stared bewildered at the green glow from his body, she glanced quickly at her palms confirming that it was her own powers before quickly focusing herself thinking thoughts of healing and wanting to help him to channel her limited abilities into healing.
Energy pulsed over his body glowing brightly in waves, his breathing became easier and more steady but he was still much too tired to awaken being far too drained from the battle. As the internal wounds and injuries fixed themselves her hands began to tremble with exhaustion before the energy weakened and fizzled to nothing. The rain continued to hammer down, but it seemed most of his injuries now were treatable through other means and he was much more stable.
May moved stumbling a little to her feet with leaf umbrella thoroughly abandoned, she moved him onto his back before crouching and wrapping her arms under his carefully and being rather cautious of the crystal as she heaved and huffed lifting him up the best she could and beginning to effectively drag him along as she carefully walked backwards checking her surroundings as she pulled him along, had he been a bit shorter she may have been able to lift him into a carry but his longer body made that difficult, she could only just pick up Darkness when standing around the waist.
Finally spotting the cave she knew was about she continued to carefully drag him along until they were finally in shelter, hoping he didn't mind when he woke up that she dragged him but what else could she do. Very slowly and very carefully she moved to lay him down on the cave floor, she sighed feeling more than a bit exhausted as she moved to slowly stand again she didn't have time to waste his other wounds still needed seeing too after all. She paused looking at him lying on the cave floor, she awkwardly shuffled closer moving to kneel besides him and pressed the side of her head against his chest listening carefully to his lung that had been injured as he breathed just to make sure that it had in fact healed and she wasn't just leaving him to quietly suffocate or suffer.
She lifted her head, nodding to herself satisfied with the sound of his breathing, no wheezing or whistling, just shallow as she carefully put him in the recovery position again in case he started to cough up blood while she was gone, not wanting him to choke. She took off the coat she was wearing and carefully lay it over him as a makeshift blanket or warmer as his skin was freezing. She wondered how long he'd been out in the rain for as she moved and headed back out to brave the weather for medical supplies.
Syn quietly shivered but he felt something warm on his body as he lay in vague awareness for what seemed like hours.
May swore her bone marrow was soaked by the time she came back carrying a bundle of medical leaks and oran berries as she sloshed back into the cave, she stopped to shake off her body at the cave entrance before she went deeper to where Syn was laying still to her knowledge unconscious. She carefully sat near him and removed the coat from him with a quiet, "I'm sorry I promise I'll put this back soon."
In one hand she crushed some oran berries into a smushed consistency as with her other hand and teeth she peeled the outer leaves off of the medical leak to get to the part that she needed, she squeezed the leak watching the clear fluid fall out the stem into the oran mush in her hand before she mixed and rubbed her hands together watching the color of the mush change into a more purpley to indicate the reaction was complete before she carefully began to cover Syns remaining wounds with the old style medicine.
A hot stinging ran through Syns spine and nerves from one of his injuries causing him to quietly groan and hiss in response as May carefully tended to his wounds creating more of the medical paste to apply as she needed it and wrapping the wounds to keep the paste in place with the long leak leaves. Despite the wound being healed she carefully added a dollop to his chest to get rid of what was on her hands before carefully putting the coat back over him to give him a blanket knowing he probably needed to be warm to recover properly.
May sighed softly feeling her eyes hang heavy, she had probably been up quite a while tending to him as she moved to look at him, she tilted her head a bit at him moving her hand slowly to touch his cheek and stroke up to feel his forehead, he thankfully wasn't burning up because she wouldn't know how to deal with a fever, he was still a bit cool though which made her worry. She slowly moved her hand off of his face realizing that was probably a bit strange but, guess Darkness had been right, he did have some cute stripes.
Shaking her head she moved to the other side of the cave sitting to lean against the wall, though guilt wracked through her as she saw his tail shiver with the cold. Cautiously shifted onto her knees and moved some sticks and leaves from the ground into a pile and held her hands over the little pile as she tried to concentrate, she didn't want him to be cold, just a little spark to keep him warm.
Energy quietly crackled and fizzled little sparks of energy darting from her paws zapping the leaf that fluttered and danced and another dart of energy seeming to walk along the little twig before a small flame formed. It swayed a bit as it grew on the end of the twig as first a soft red before a wave of orange yellow pinks and all colors waved through it and as the flame grew into just a small fire the colors danced and decorated the flame that radiated heat and light. She sighed softly in relief and exhaustion moving to rest back on her ankles, her head feeling more than a bit fuzzy from over exertion.
She watched the flame for a moment making sure it was contained, it shifted and danced but seemed relatively well behaved as she slowly moved to lie on her side tiredness quickly dragging her under into blissful unconsciousness.
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By morning it had finally stopped raining with the clouds beginning to depart and sunlight finally fighting it's way back through, droplets of water collected on leaves and blades of grass dripping down on anyone unsuspecting who knocked the incorrect branch like a mini shower. Syns eyes were heavy and it was a struggle to even barely open one to squint. He was in a cave by the looks of it from the vague shapes and colors he could make out. He blinked with his one eye heavily fighting to get it back open knowing he should be far more alert and wary of unknown environments. He could make out the faint smell of smoke, glancing he spotted some burnt leaves and twigs still emitting a thin little smoke wisp.
He closed his eye again just taking a moment to lie there before finally registering the slight weight on his body, finally and reluctantly he moved his head to look with blurry eyes and hard blinking as a coat came into vision draped over his body though it wasn't exactly big enough to cover him fully. He moved his arm slowly to lift the coat to examine it and paused, noticing green wrapped around his arm. He squinted in confusion as he moved his wrist closer to look at the leaves wrapped around him and became aware of the sensation of more leaf bandaged spots covering his body. What the hell happened…
He remembers the rain, then being above the storm…and..ugh.. That blasted snake. He groaned softly, moving to attempt to sit up and finally noticing a small pile of berries on a leaf left near him. Resting on his forearm to lift himself without fully committing to sitting up he stared at it, wracking his brain for how in the world those got there and if they were left by someone then who? And if they were left by someone were they the one who brought him here? Perhaps it was Citrine..
He turned his head hearing footsteps in the wet grass making faint splats and squelches as the unexpected but familiar orange one came into view, she was holding a large leaf with more berries carefully balanced inside like a bag by the looks of it leaves weaved and formed into a bowl shape. Their eyes met and she blinked at him looking surprised before to his surprise her expression turned into a smile as she looked at him.
"You're awake!" She beamed as she carefully stepped into the cave placing down the leaf bag of berries, "how are you feeling? I was worried figured you'd have woken up before me so when you were still out cold I thought oh that's not good I hope he's just sleepy so I went oh you know I'll go get him some foods for when he wakes he's probably gonna be starving." He watched her talk quickly but her tone was rather bright as she looked at him before kind of floundering as she placed down the leaf bowl filled with water, "oh arceus are you stuck? Do you need help?"
For a moment he was confused before realizing he was still only resting on his forearm barely lifting himself, he didn't feel as though he was genuinely stuck he likely had the energy to shove himself into a sit but, with the way she looked at him all worried and compassionate he let out a sigh lifting his other arm up.
"Yea, I'm, a bit more knackered than I thought I was," he lied, putting on a smile that passed as bashful as she moved closer and for a brief moment he thought of how easy it would be to just grab her and take her life. He felt her gently grab his arm though her grip was rather strong and her other hand gently held his shoulder where he was leaning before feeling her pull him into a sitting position as he blinked a bit at her strength as she helped him sit unassisted readjusting the coat so it was still around his shoulders for warmth.
She smiled at him, "is that better?" and he nodded as he collected his thoughts. She picked up the leaf bowl and carefully put it into his hand using her hands to make sure he had a proper hold on it, "here, you're probably thirsty. Got Suicune himself to bless the water so it is of utmost freshness." She smiled at him again, moving to shuffle from where she'd crouched to help him up to check his tail.
"You know Suicune?" he inquired though his tone was friendly as she shyly laughed slowly unwrapping some of the leaves off of his tail and wiping away the excess medication to reveal a fully healed wound with no mark nor scar.
"oh, oh no not personal or no I've never actually seen him. It's, that's more of a joke me and my brother use when we're reassuring each other that something is safe. Like there berries are good got them from Celebi themselves, or surely these rocks are safe Groundon told me so." She made a nervous soft laugh, "sorry." She felt unsure and awkward as she checked where he had been injured.
He chuckled softly as he drank some of the water it was cool and quite refreshing actually he hadn't noticed the horrid coppery taste in his mouth till just now.
"I appreciate you trying to reassure me that it's not poisoned." Laughing again at her startled gasp as she very panicked told him she wouldn't do such a thing.
"I'm pulling your leg I knew you wouldn't." He heard her sigh in relief as he chuckled moving to pick out a berry to try, "so got these from Celebi huh? Well if they're no good I'll be having words with the little onion." His teeth sank into the flesh of the berry as she made a soft chuckle seeming to appreciate him playing into the joke with her as he hummed softly, "I suppose the onion gets to live," joking on as she made a soft gasp at his answer looking a bit shocked as he chuckled once more at her expression. He bit into the berry devouring it with quiet hunger he hadn't even realised he was feeling. Getting beat down apparently gives one quite the appetite.
He paused his eating feeling Mays palm gently rest on his chest, he looked at her hand then back at her seeing her expression being quite focused as he raised a brow, "I didn't think we knew each other that well," He easily teased as he watched her expression become startled as she removed her hand.
"I'm sorry! When I found you you have a chest injury and I wanted to make sure it was like healed? That I couldn't feel your lung struggling I guess? So I thought hey I'll just feel through my palm because I didn't want to just put my ear against your chest because that's kind of weird but that was probably even weirder I'm so sorry." Her voice was undeniably stressed as she rambled her reasoning.
Syn smirked a bit gently taking her wrist and placing her palm back on his chest, "well by all means nurse, feel away," He chuckled removing his hand glad when her hand didn't pull away. He took a long deep breath in, he held it and then exhaled for her as well. She nodded a bit to herself.
"One more time? Just a bit slower." He chuckled taking in another long deep breath but slower, holding his breath and then slowly exhaled as she nodded once more, "feels, good I can't sense any difficulty and that didn't hurt right? Ah Magikarp I should've asked that before I started touching and letting you do breathing exercises I'm so sorry."
He waved a dismissive hand to the side, "if it'd hurt I would've gone 'ow!'" He chuckled, "and I did the breathing first, I wouldn't have if it hurt. For someone who patched me up and brought me here you're so apologetic. I mean you and whatever pokemon you convinced to use recover or whatever healing move on me saved my life."
He watched her duck her head shyly slowly moving her palm and brushing her thumb over a scar that had been left behind, "it was me actually, I just, if I'd been stronger maybe you wouldn't have a scar so I feel bad I couldn't heal you spotless." He hummed slightly moving his hand to the scar making a soft sound as May pulled her hand away.
"oh yea, would you look at that," he'd not noticed before a paler spot of scar tissue, "well what's another stripe, besides I imagine without your help I'd have a lot more to worry about than a little scar." He lazily brushed off his chest of imaginary dirt, "and that's not the worst scar I've received and whenever I look at it I know it's because I was helped by a very pretty nurse." He gave her a toothy smile as he saw hues of pink appear on her face before she looked away shyly laughing in response.
"oh don't look away from me, cute thing, how am I to admire the one who saved me?" He moved leaning closer as she looked away harder cheeks and over her snout thoroughly pinkened, "I must say I'm impressed you even managed to move me, did you perhaps mega evolve? Or levitate me?" She leaned away from him in shyness gently putting her hands to his face and pushing him back away from her making a soft odd embarrassed e-eh vocalization type sound.
"no, no I just, I had to drag you? Sorry," she glanced at him nervously worried he'd be mad at being dragged around, he blinked, pressing his face into her hands that were holding him away for sheer sanitys sake, he looked her up and down brows coming together in thoughtful puzzlement.
"You must be very strong," as he tried not to laugh at the mental image of her dragging his large mega body. Like a Lillipup with a Snorlax plushie he couldn't help grinning at the thought as May shyly looked away.
"I guess? Uh," she slowly brought her hands back to herself feeling awkward about holding him away by the face, "sorry," to which he chuckled easily.
"Oh it's all good, I could certainly get used to having your hands on me after all." The squeak she made as she ducked and moved to get up made him chuckle in a mischievous fashion though sad to see her put physical distance between them he was sure the blush was reaching her horns.
"Well!" She fumbled with her hands a bit shyly glancing over to him as her face felt very warm, "since you seem in good spirits I suppose I can uh, with confidence say you'll be fine and probably don't need anymore help from me? So you're uh, discharged or something." She could see him grinning at her playfully as she realized she was playing into the nurse bit.
"Why not stay? I haven't seen you eat a bite yet, and I'd like to see you eat, so why don't you join me in breakfast?" holding out a berry for her as she looked a bit shy and unsure, "Please? I'm sorry for teasing you really, I'm still trying to do and be better so let me show you that I'm changing for the better?" He looked at her all soft and pout like watching her shoulders slowly relax as she smiled back at him with a soft;
"oh fine, but only because you're looking at me all sad." before moving to sit opposite him accepting the berry he held out and taking a careful bite. His tail swayed content watching her stay with him, smiling to himself as he bit into a new berry himself enjoying the flavor on his tongue wondering what she was thinking of him right now, surely positive things. With how pink she was he was curious if she was attracted to him.
"So," He started carefully, "how come you're all on your lonesome? I haven't heard or seen Citrine or pinky yet." He had to bite his tongue from adding a cheeky 'though I suppose you're pretty pinky right now.'
She looked at him with a soft, "oh," as she thought around a new mouthful of berry buying herself time before settling on, "Matt wanted some space, I asked Citrine to watch him, I'm sure they'll be back soon."
He tried not to show his intrigue, so she was alone, and she was alone with him of all people. He hid his thoughtful smirk behind another mouthful of food. Well, he was sure she would come around to liking him and understanding what he had to offer incredibly soon.
"Ah," He vocalized thoughtfully. "Say, if you're on your own and I'm on my own perhaps we could, travel together for a time? I'd hate to leave you on your own after all, especially considering how kind you've been to me. And, maybe you could get to see how I'm doing and what I'm doing to improve myself? It's been a while since we last saw each other after all and I want you to see that I'm serious about getting better." He smiled at her in casual affection, lies falling from his mouth easily.
He could see her hesitate for a moment, her tail shifting and waving in slow thought. He wasn't particularly panicked, she saved his life and stuck around to take care of him stayed to eat together there was no way she wasn't at least intrigued enough by him to consider the offer and by how open she was to interaction he can't see her denying.
"I, I think that'd be kind of nice actually," He hid a knowing smirk, "but," his mouth fell, "I'll be honest I'm still, wary of you..which I know is pretty awful of me considering that you've been really quite nice and you're likely working hard to improve your image and self and I don't want to knock you down from that, you seem to be really coming along well I'm just. It's just a me thing is all." He could see her squirm a little in guilt, in honesty he knew she was being completely reasonable and rational to be cautious of him especially as he knew he had less than honest intentions but seeing as the self doubt was already planted evident by her awkward disposition it made his job easier.
"No no I completely understand, we, didn't have a first good meeting and my behavior afterwards wasn't, I'm not the most proud of it." He looked at his hands as though in sorrow, "I completely understand your caution and I just appreciate that you're giving me a chance." He looked to her and smiled, "you're really kind for that." He saw her face soften into a smile, anxiety ebbing away slightly. Hook line and sinker she believed him and felt more reassured in his company.
He finished off the last berry and sighed softly in contentment, though he'd preferred something more meaty and maybe a bit more alive; he couldn't complain when the berries were picked for him and he didn't have to forage. He glanced at her seeing her finishing up as well as he stood up offering his hand to her.
"Let's go then huh, together?" He smiled down at her as she looked up at him, her expression soft as she smiled and took his hand so he could help her up to her feet.
"Together."
#My writing#@seasidemew oc#@seasidemew syn#Tw blood#Tw fighting#Tw violence#Tw lung injury#Tw manipulation#Syn that lives in my brain: hey who are those fighting warning for op. Me: oh no one..go look over there real quick#Beating Syn with a mallet and he squeaks like a chew toy at ever smash#Me: how would Syn logically be in such an injured state he needs healing he's like really op#The mushroom network that lives inside my brain: Have rayquaza beat his ass#Me: :0 you're right! Lmao so me just pits him against rayquaza because I need the scene dammit#And yes Rayquaza does mega at the end to land the finishing strike out of pure pettiness he's allowed#And YES half dying Syn does try to wheeze Anne because like he's real fucked up rn and presyn brain probably kind wishes she was with him#I just love the tragedy of to some minor degree a little part of him still thinks of her wishing she didn't let him go#Also he really do just be out here like oh May just saved my life? Press x to flirt#There's a time and a place my man's lmao#The oran berry medical leak thing is a PLA reference my fav medical media trope is slap some goop on that shit#Also he really just out here like I'm a good boy now see I'm totally getting good character development come closer I promise I won't bite#Also Syn once more grumpy with the weather I dunno why but I make him very grumpy about things in my writing XD as a treat on the house#I also make him seem weirdly touch starved lmao because he probably is lmao pressing into that touch#Funnily enough this is technically still pre corruption arc XD he still gets a lil corruption in probably but like no actually shadowin yet#Which is very funny to me because lmao these are all establishing fics I fucking love my build up fixs
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ok what if i made the hardest of hard saves and then played theirinfall redoubt for a laugh. what then
#tay plays dai#who could realistically stop me#man the way ive played inquisition like . at LEAST 9 times at the point and ive yet to ever do that mission#like i dont even know what happens lol. something abt some demon ? cole is there ?#i know more context from asunder than i do from actual gameplay fgkjhfgjk#tbf when i was first figuring ashara out i did consider making her side w the templars#despite being a mage. she doesnt rly hate templars she just thinks theyre stupid and annoying and they give her the ick#but idk. she will always prioritize physical troops over like. her spy network or connections so soldiers seems like something she'd want#also bc actually nullifying the breach makes more sense to her than overcharging it#BUT at the end of the day shes vehemently team mage rights/circle abolition so redcliffe it was#but. im gonna fuck around this playthru anyway i think <3 teehee !
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