#I think a lifetime of living with my mother has permanently damaged the way I see myself

[milo-is-rambling]

Me when I want to be wanted more than anything else

[littlemisspascal]

The Last Mandalorian

Chapter One: The Warrior in Carbonite Part 3

Fandom: The Mandalorian / Pedro Pascal

Eventual Pairing: Din x Togruta!Female!Reader

Word Count: 4,320

Rating: G

Summary: A series that is a mixture of Mandalorian, Star Wars, ATLA, and my own imagination. The Imps have seized control of the majority of the galaxy, including your homeworld Shili. You and your sister Ahsoka have developed a daily routine despite the stormtroopers keeping your village imprisoned. One morning you make a startling discovery that will change the course of your lives forever.

Warnings: I don’t know much about starship mechanics so probably nothing in this is accurate but it’s fanfiction people so cut me some slack please, reader gets a nickname 🥳, plot plot plot, discussion of loss of loved ones, worldbuilding, dialogue heavy, this is a slow burn but it’s also ridiculously self-indulgent so I’m including as many cute getting-to-know-you scenes as I can, reader is 17 and Din is 19 so I’m going to warn this as underage even though nothing sexual or even vaguely romantic happens in this chapter.

Author Note: Thank you anyone and everyone who has read even a sentence of this story! Special thanks and love to @dindja for creating this stunning, fantastic, amazing piece of fanart for me 💖💖💖 I still can’t believe how perfect it is. I mean, I’m such a sucker for pinky promises it’s not even funny and this is just beautiful 😍😍😍

Part 2

Cross-posted on AO3

For as grand and wide-reaching as the Galactic Empire has become in its ten years of existence, it had relatively small beginnings. A group of radical Force-wielders banded together under the leadership of an old, beady-eyed man named Sheev Palpatine who believed it was his divine destiny to seize control of the entire galaxy, rewriting the ancient laws to match his own beliefs. His cult, the Sith Order, gained attention by attacking Jedi temples, capital cities, places with large populations until every corner of the galaxy had heard of them. Most regarded them with fear, but over time they began garnering a startling amount of followers who were discontent with the status quo and willingly drafted themselves as soldiers in Palpatine’s fight for control.

At first everyone in your village thought Palpatine and his cult of followers weren’t worth worrying about—after all, Shili was a peaceful planet that never drew much attention to itself. But within the first year of its inception, the Sith Order captured Ryloth and the similar peaceful characteristics between the Twi’lek planet and Shili were too glaring to overlook. A seed of anxiety took root in every Togruta’s mind after that, and continued to grow with every planet seized as the years progressed.

The Decimation of Alderaan didn’t start as a tragedy, believe it or not. The Mandalorians, Jedi, and Alderaanians combined their numbers in an all-out fight against the Sith Order. It was the largest battle ever fought in the history of the galaxy, thousands of souls willing to die to defeat Palpatine’s followers. For the first three days of warfare, the fight seemed to be in favor of the allies with many noteworthy Sith members reportedly killed in the fray, such as Palpatine’s second-in-command Dooku and lethal Zabrak assassin Maul. You remember there was a sense of hope felt within your village as everyone listened to the news reports blaring across the Holonet. A belief that things were finally, finally going to return to normal after so much chaos.

But on the fourth day, the Sith Order brought their own ally onto the battlefield.

At the time there wasn’t a name for the droids that slaughtered every opponent they faced. They were described as indestructible, unharmed by blasters and the intense heat of Mandalorian flamethrowers. Not even lightsabers could damage them. The allies didn’t stand a chance, brutally murdered one by one, their dying screams echoing across the Holonet, forever haunting listeners far and wide.

The Dark Troopers were unleashed upon Mandalore afterwards and out of the ashes rose the Galactic Empire, except, in a twist nobody—not even the Sith Order—saw coming: Palpatine died before taking on the title of emperor, passing away in his sleep. A mediocre ending for the monster who permanently altered the foundations of the universe. One of his loyal followers from the cult’s early beginnings took control in his place, a vile man with a penchant for spilling blood and a deceptively bland name: Gideon.

Only seven years-old then, you didn’t understand the unbalance in the Force your aunt kept referencing. You didn’t understand the meaning of the word genocide either. But you did understand the galaxy would never be the same ever again, and the lesson was only further established as truth when the Imperials seized your village. 

There is no normalcy to return to anymore.

And as long as Emperor Gideon remains in control, there is no future to hope for either.

__

Silence reigns in the aftermath of Maar’s explanation as the long list of tragedies hangs heavy over the four occupants. There is tension in the air as you await the Mandalorian’s response to the extinction of his people, whether that be an outburst of anger or tears, and each passing minute only intensifies the nervous energy thrumming through your veins. Your leg starts to bounce restlessly, a bad habit you have had since childhood.

The Mandalorian stands eerily motionless. Your eyes keep flicking from your lap to his visor though you know it is rude to stare. His helmet hides his expression, but you don’t need to see it to know he is floundering right now, mind scrambling to piece together all the details thrown at him. From personal experience, you know the loss of a loved one hits like a tidal wave, hitting you over and over again until you must decide if you are going to stand up or surrender to drowning. Grieving the loss of your parents is the hardest experience of your lifetime to date.

But this...this is vastly different. The Mandalorian didn’t just lose his loved ones. He has lost his friends, neighbors, comrades, acquaintances, everyone all at once. This loss isn’t a tidal wave. It is a kriffing avalanche, burying him ten feet under in total darkness, and there is no one he can count on to save him. 

Finally, after the longest five minutes of your life, he shifts, resting his hands upon his belt with an unexpected air of seriousness. “I need to go.”

You frown, head tilting. That is his reaction?

“Go?” Ahsoka echoes, sounding as incredulous as you feel. “Go where?”

“To look for survivors,” he answers, blunt and harsh, the words forced through clenched teeth. 

Ahsoka is struck silent, and you feel your heart break on his behalf. Your mother’s stories about the Mandalorians had always included, one way or another, their lifelong bonds with each other. You had felt those ties when you had connected with the Mandalorian, believed for a moment as strongly as he did that his fellow warriors would come search for him, that his absence would be noticed and missed amongst them. And here he is now, still desperately clutching to them, unable—or, perhaps unwilling is more apt—to believe a stranger telling him those bonds have been cruelly severed. 

“What you need is to rest,” Maar says, gentle yet firm, letting her authority as the eldest in the room seep into her tone.

He shakes his head, not backing down. “I’ve been asleep for ten years. I don’t need any more rest.”

“Your ship, it, uh,” your shoulders hike up defensively when his visor snaps in your direction, pinning you with its blank stare. Clearing your throat, you continue with a slight grimace, “It’s going to need some repairs before it can take off. I can help you fix it.”

Ahsoka looks over at you in surprise, and then in worry. You don’t blame her, especially since the offer had slipped out without you consciously meaning it to. Once again, the Force is calling the shots and you are just along for the ride, a passenger in your own body.

He considers you for a long moment, then asks, “What do you know about the mechanics of a gunship?” 

If anyone else had asked you that same exact question, you would have bristled at their condescension and retracted your offer in the next breath. But with the Mandalorian, there isn’t even the slightest hint of patronizing courtesy. It is a serious question prompted from genuine curiosity.

You sit up straighter, smiling at him now. “Enough to confidently say I’m your best shot at getting off the ground.”

__

“What’s your plan, exactly?” Ahsoka asks you, braced against the wall with one eye on you and one on the Mandalorian across the garage, patiently waiting for you to finish assembling your tool kit. 

“Huh?” You reply distractedly, trying to decide if you should bring your carbon chisel or not. 

“You don’t have one, do you?”

Not. There are bigger concerns than a bit of carbon scoring. You move to grab your favorite screwdriver with a tapered socket, only for Ahsoka to snatch it away, holding the tool hostage.

“Hey!”

“Have you thought about what you’re doing?” Ahsoka asks slowly, staring you directly in the eyes. “Once you fix his ship, he’s gone. And he’s taking our best chance at escaping Shili with him.”

A quick glance over your shoulder shows the Mandalorian studying the scattered BB unit parts on your workbench. You are missing a few vital components needed in order to bring the little droid back to life after a stormtrooper shot a plasma bolt through it for accidentally bumping into his leg, and haven’t had any luck convincing the village traders to track them down for you when they went to the capital. 

“We can’t keep him here against his will,” you manage at last, turning back to your sister. “Otherwise we’re no better than the Imps.”

When Ahsoka doesn’t say anything, you shrug a shoulder, adding, “Besides, I think I’m supposed to fix it for him. The Force seems pretty insistent about it.”

She makes a face at that. “I liked you better when you ignored your Force instincts. You didn’t make me worry as much.”

A laugh escapes you, embarrassingly loud in the otherwise quiet space, and your cheeks immediately start burning. Ahsoka’s lip twitches like she wants to smile, but instead she schools her features into a blank expression when the Mandalorian’s head turns at the sound. Only once he diverts his attention elsewhere again does her stare lose some of its intensity, looking less like she wants to dissect him beneath a microscope. You can practically see her protective-older-sister-instincts buzzing, reacting to the warrior’s presence. 

As much as he is a chance at providing an escape, he is also first and foremost a complete and total stranger. Even worse, he is a complete and total stranger who knows how to handle weapons. 

“I’ll be fine, I promise.” You squeeze her arm reassuringly. “Shouldn’t take longer than a couple of hours. You’ll be so busy smoothing the Elders’ ruffled feathers you won’t even notice I’m gone.”

Ahsoka finally relinquishes the tool, exhaling a quiet sigh. “You shouldn’t make promises you don’t know for certain you can keep.”

__

Walking side by side with the Mandalorian in silence isn’t awkward, per se, but it definitely isn’t comfortable either. He is close enough your arm keeps accidentally grazing against his, the cold brush of metal against your skin startling you each time. You would have considered his nearness strange if you hadn’t heard Ahsoka threaten to castrate him if you wound up hurt before she sent him flying at the juni tree branch outside your window with an unnecessarily strong push of Force. 

To his credit, the warrior handled her rough treatment with the same ease he has handled everything else thrown at him. You are beginning to think Mandalorians don’t just wear beskar—they are made of it too. Other than the few glimpses of frustration earlier in Maar’s office, he keeps his cards close to his chest, impossible to read. 

He watches everything though, reacting to the slightest of movements and sounds. Constantly alert. You are certain he is watching you right now, despite the fact his helmet is facing forward, your nerves prickling in response to the sensation of eyes upon you.

To your surprise, he is the one to break the silence first. “You sneak out often.”

It is a statement, not a question. 

You suppose the dots are easy enough to connect to reach that conclusion. Still, the certainty in his voice has your heart skipping a nervous beat. He hasn’t even known you a day and yet he is privy to secrets no one outside your community is aware of. “Yeah,” you nod your head after a brief lapse of silence, “Ahsoka can’t train in the village. Not with the stormtroopers around.”

“Has your village tried to run them out? Fight back?”

It is only because you know he is just trying to understand your village’s predicament with the little bits of information he has that you don’t snap at him for being so insensitive. He has no idea what these past five years have been like for you all. No idea the amount of losses and sacrifices the community has suffered. 

Your grip on your tool kit tightens. “I was twelve when they came. The community is mostly traders and hunters, not trained fighters. The few weapons we had were nothing compared to their blaster rifles, but some of the adults tried to defend the village, including our parents. They...” You swallow, or try to, at least, your throat suddenly dry as sand. “Our aunt looked after us until last year we woke up one morning to find a note she’d left to join the rebellion. We haven’t had any contact with her since.”

The Mandalorian’s gloved hand brushes against your knuckles. This time you think it might have been on purpose.

“I lost my parents as a child, too. There was a riot and they died protecting me,” he offers his own private details with the same reluctance as one volunteering to have their teeth pulled out. “The Mandalorians took me in, raised me as one of their own.”

You say nothing about the way his breath slightly hitches when he says Mandalorians, appreciating his openness as it puts you both on somewhat equal footing with each other. 

“I owe it to them to look for survivors,” he tells you, and your montrals detect the quietest hint of a plea in his voice. 

“I understand,” you answer, keeping your tone light to preserve the fragility of this moment. This kind of situation doesn’t happen often—two strangers on the same wavelength, exposing their vulnerable underbellies, desperate to be heard and yet skittish at the same time—and it is oddly therapeutic. 

A decision is made right then and there in the span of a heartbeat. And even more significantly, it is 100% your own choice without any intervention or manipulation from the Force. 

You stop walking, causing the Mandalorian to halt as well. He scans the area for a threat, then visibly jerks when he turns back to find you have your hand held out towards him, pinky raised high, reacting as if you are pointing a weapon at him.

“I don’t understand,” he says, blunt and almost suspicious sounding. Are you just imagining it or can you actually hear him frowning? “What are you doing?”

“Haven’t you ever made a pinky promise with someone before?”

“...A what?”

You snort, ducking your head to hide your smile, and then reach for his hand. Surprisingly, he doesn’t protest your touch.

“A pinky promise,” you repeat as you make his hand form a fist, curling his fingers towards his palm, and then adjust his pinky so you can wrap yours around it. He watches the whole process wordlessly. “It’s a sacred vow shared between two people. The Elders say once it’s sworn, the promise can never be broken.”

He cocks his head, skeptical. “Never?”

“Never,” you reaffirm with a nod. Licking your lips, you look at his visor, right where you instinctively know his eyes are staring back. “I promise I’m going to help you. No matter the odds.”

And something leaks into your voice then, something resolute and binding and otherworldly. A tremor shoots down your spine, too quick for you to make sense of it.

Your sister’s words echo in the back of your mind, ‘You shouldn’t make promises you don’t know for certain you can keep.’ 

You try to pull away, self-doubt gnawing a hole in your stomach, only for the Mandalorian to wrap his pinky tighter around yours, holding you still. A gasp escapes your lips, muffled by the bleeding sincerity in his voice as he swears:

“I promise I will be there when you need me. No matter the odds.”

And although your sister could undoubtedly provide you with a long list of reasons why you shouldn’t, you believe his promise to be true.

__

The Mandalorian heaves a heavy sigh at the sight of his crashed ship. 

“I can’t do much about the landing gear,” you inform him, believing honesty to be the best policy for cases like this. “And I brought some foam-jet for the cockpit viewport, but it’s not a permanent fix. You’re going to have to find someone offworld to replace them.”

“Right,” he agrees absently without turning his eyes away. It occurs to you then that this ship is the closest thing to a home he has now. One of the few precious relics from his past he can still physically cling to. 

“Does your ship have a name?” you ask.

He looks at you, as if coming back to self-awareness, and answers, “Razor Crest.”

A good name, you think. Strong. A bit mysterious. Just like its owner.

You nod decisively. “I like it.”

His modulator crackles faintly, a quiet noise produced from a sudden exhale of air. You blink at the unexpected sound, surprised to realize you recognize it. A laugh. The Mandalorian just laughed at something you said. What is next in store for you? Are akul going to sprout wings and start flying?

He steps around you, heading for the side entry door still open from yesterday with its ramp laying on the ground, pebbles shifting noisily beneath his boots with each step. You don’t realize you are staring, oddly entranced by the swish of his cape and his purposeful strides, until he calls out your name to ask if you are coming.

You nearly drop your tool kit in your haste to follow after him into the Crest’s interior, ignoring the flaring heat radiating from your cheeks. 

For the next few hours, you and the Mandalorian work in companionable silence, engrossed in rerouting wires and welding damaged components with your trusty hand torch. The gunship is older than you initially assumed, perhaps even as old as yourself, and you idly wonder if the Mandalorian found it in a scrapyard somewhere or maybe inherited it from another Mandalorian. You notice the way he handles each piece with an experienced and respectful touch; the same kind of care someone reserves for their most cherished possessions. Anyone with eyes can see how much he loves the Crest just by watching him.

Once you have finished sealing the numerous cracks dissecting the cockpit’s viewport like a spiderweb with foam, you approach the Mandalorian to see his progress on returning power to the dashboard. He is on his back beneath the steering controls, rearranging a mess of wires, and barely acknowledges your presence when you squeeze yourself into the tight space next to him.

“The red wire goes before the white one,” you point out, noticing the mistake immediately. “Fire hazard.”

He pauses, looks at where you have gestured, and corrects his error without criticizing your intervention. You bite back a smile, pleased to be heard. Within your community, even though you have proven your skills time and time again, some of the villagers, usually men, don’t always adhere to your advice, thinking you are too young and too female to know about technology, until they inevitably make their problems worse for themselves and come back to you with their metaphorical tail between their legs. 

You help him reattach the cover plating once he has finished, screwing the bolts back into their corners, and then watch, fingers crossed, as he attempts the ignition sequence, flipping a series of switches.

None of them light up with even the faintest flicker of life.

“Dank farrik,” he growls under his breath, slamming a fist upon the console.

You take a tiny step forward, hesitant to direct his frustration your way. “Can I try?” 

He tilts his head, probably thinking he knows this ship better than anyone and if it doesn’t work for him then you aren’t going to have any luck either.

Eventually he steps back with a shrug, uttering a simple, “Sure.” 

Although you can’t remember the last time you were on a ship, it doesn’t take long to refamiliarize yourself with the various controls and screens once you take a seat in the pilot chair. When your hobby for fixing broken machines changed into a passion you wanted to pursue as a future career, you started memorizing any reading material you could find on the Holonet, including the flight manuals for different classes of starships. You flip through the stored information in your mind about gunships as you press a few buttons on the panel overhead, trying out different sequences for a response.

When your third attempt fails, you bite your lip, racking your brain for a solution. You think about Huno’s kitchen droid and how you had been on the verge of ripping off one of your head-tails trying to repair it after one of its fuses blew, causing it to malfunction. Your tools and knowledge hadn’t been able to fix it in the end. It had required a special remedy to bring it back to life.

You lay your palms flat on the console, just as you had held onto the droid’s square torso. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice the Mandalorian fidget, as if he wants to come closer but is hesitant to crowd you. You ignore him, pressing your fingertips harder against the metal, visualizing in your mind the unseen gears, cables, and components stiff and powerless. You imagine the parts working properly, a current of electricity running through each wire, life ultimately returning to the entire ship, and whisper under your breath a request to the Force.

“Please work, please work, please work…”

An invisible pulse of energy burns down the length of your arms and discharges through your fingertips, strong enough you jerk backwards against the seat. Every button and screen on the dashboard lights up all at once, beeping with alarm at being so rudely resurrected.

You sit there helplessly, stunned and breathless, hands twitching in your lap. The kitchen droid hadn’t required even half as much energy to restart, barely a pinch. Now your body feels like you have been thrown against the electric fence a dozen times. Wordlessly, the Mandalorian comes to your side to help, punching buttons and turning knobs until the alarms quit blaring. A distant part of your brain thinks the Razor Crest as a whole seems strangely soothed by his presence, not quite as cold and dark, but it is hard to follow that train of thought due to the distracting pain throbbing along your temples.

“That’s quite a spark you’ve got,” he says, not unkindly or accusingly, just a statement of the obvious. He looks down at you, not outright asking for an explanation, but giving you the opportunity to open up if you wanted to.

“Yep, that’s me,” you reply, forcing a cheerful smile, praying it doesn’t resemble a grimace. “Sparks Tano at your service.”

He chuckles again, oblivious to how your heart stutters at its raspiness. “Thank you, Sparks. I appreciate it.”

“Well, we’re not done yet.” You rub at your temples under the guise of adjusting your headband. “I need to take a closer look at the engines before we attempt flying out of here. I—”

“I’ll do it,” he cuts in, already heading for the ladder. “You stay here, see if you can update the navicomputer settings.”

You know he knows that updating the navicomputer is child’s play for you. Clearly you aren’t as great at concealing your pain as you thought you were and this is his way of giving you a break. A small part of you is irritated at being treated like a porcelain doll, but you push those negative feelings aside as quickly as they develop. Your aunt always used to remind you and Ahsoka it was okay to accept help when it was offered, that needing support didn’t in any way make you weak. 

“Hey, wait a second,” you call out as you spin around in your seat, freezing him right before he disappears from view into the hull. He holds onto the ladder, waiting patiently for you to continue.

“Back at Maar’s place you didn’t introduce yourself and it’s weird just calling you Mandalorian in my head,” you say, awkwardly drumming your fingers on top of the armrests. He doesn’t answer, eliciting a sigh from your mouth after a drawn-out beat of silence. “What’s your name? You do have one, right?”

“I do, but I can’t tell you it,” he admits at last. “By Mandalorian Creed, only other Mandalorians or my riduur—my spouse,” he corrects, seeing your confusion, “are allowed to know my name and see my face. This is the Way.”

He doesn’t linger to hear your response, dropping down into the hull with a resounding thud. You slowly turn back around, staring absently out the glass. Every culture is unique, including your own, but you think there is something especially interesting about the Mandalorians’. It sounds like a lonely existence, only able to show your face while in select company. What would have happened if he had been unconscious and you had slipped the helmet off his head? What consequence would he have faced? 

And if there truly aren’t any Mandalorians left besides him, his spouse will be the only one to ever know him completely. It almost sounds like a love story, if not a little bit heart-wrenching. 

Two high-pitched dings from the console jerk you out of your thoughts with a wince. You look for the source, finding the radar lit up and actively scanning the area, and bristle when you see a pair of red dots moving across the screen. 

Not even a minute later you are sprinting out of the cave, ignoring the Mandalorian’s alarmed shout from the roof of the Razor Crest. They’re early, you think with panic, looking towards the sky where two starships with Imperial logos are heading straight for your village. Why have they come back so soon?

You push your legs to run faster, your surroundings a blur beyond the trail in front of you, but the effort is meaningless. You won’t make it back home before they land.

And when your absence is noted, bloodshed is not a possibility. 

It is a guarantee.

Series taglist: @pedro4ever @cannedsoupsucks

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[otp-armada]

If Jason wanted to convince me that Lxa was the love of Clarke's life, he wouldn't have killed her off, effectively cutting their love story permanently, with 4.5 seasons left of the show. Their arc, starting with their introduction in 2x07 and concluding with L's death in 3x07, is 17 episodes long, accounting for 17% of the entire narrative. If I generously add 3x16 to the count, an episode in which L is already dead in the corporeal world Clarke is trying to return to, it's a whopping, grand total of 18%. An 18% congruous with Clarke's intense connection to Bellamy and vice versa, which even A.lycia confirmed as romantic. Feelings romantic enough to spur the formation of a love triangle. An 18% ignoring Clarke's ultimate choice to go back to her people when L wanted her to stay.

CL is a chapter in the story begun and wrapped up in the first half of the narrative. And that's omitting further illumination on the finer details making CL so problematic for Clarke. Do you expect me to believe it was coincidental for CL to occur at a time when Clarke was spiraling down a dark path, commencing with Finn's death? Who played a hand in forcing Clarke's own hand, with Finn, and TonDC, and Mount Weather? Whose example inspired her to ensnare herself in armor and warpaint to be strong enough to save her people? Whose behavior did she emulate in the pushing away of support from her people? Who gave her a place to continue hiding from Bellamy, her mom, and her friends? A place to be someone other than Clarke Griffin? In lieu of facing her fears like the heroine she is? The purpose of CL wasn't to provide Clarke with a magnificent, fairy tale romance gone tragically wrong. I believe Jason's intent with the relationship aimed to further damage Clarke's psyche after L's death, to solidify the belief that her love is not only deadly to its recipients but renders her too weak to do what must be done for survival.

After 3x16, CL is an often superfluous namedrop or two per season for Clarke to briefly react to before carrying on with the plot. Season 5 aside, most of these references are needless enough to be able to interpret them as attempts at reparations for the L/CL fandom's benefit -and their views- without altering the course of the story. Crazy me for thinking it's not enough to constitute an ongoing love story. Crazy me for not thinking this was on par with interactions between living characters. Crazy me for thinking it doesn't befit a love story for the protagonist.

This sliver of the story is what Jason and the CLs would have us unquestionably believe is the pervasive love story of The 100's seven seasons?

Despite his lie and the constant gaslighting from the pineapple CLs, some of us know how to decipher what a temporary love interest is. Lxa? I think you know where I'm heading with this.

I'll acknowledge my admittedly negative appraisal of CL as someone who recognizes its value to the LGBT+ community and treats it as valid while not caring for L/CL on a narrative level. I felt, when swayed by L's influence, Clarke became the antithesis of what I found admirable about her. I resented Clarke's acquiescence of her power to the commander. I wanted nothing more than to remove the wedge L had driven between Clarke and Bellamy.

Let me try to give L/CL the benefit of the doubt for a minute. I don't hold L as responsible for Clarke's choices, but I recognize the prominent role she played in their upbringing. The push and pull was an intriguing aspect of their dynamic, as was the chance to meet a manifestation of who Clarke might have been if she was all head, no heart. Her fall from grace was arguably necessary for her to be a fully-rounded character, not a Mary Sue. It wouldn't be realistic for the protagonist of a tragic story about a brutal world to be a pure cinnamon roll. When forgiveness is an innate theme with Clarke, it would be my bias at work if I was content with her applying it to everyone but Lxa. Clarke saw enough commonalities between her and L to identify with the latter. When she extended forgiveness to L, I believe it was her way of taking the first step on the path to making peace with herself by proxy. None of this means I wanted them paired up. At best, I made my peace with seeing the relationship through to its eventual end. In time for L's death, ironically. My passivity about them notwithstanding, my conclusions are, however, supported by canon.

If I may submit a Doylist reason for romantic CL? Jason knew he had a massive subfandom itching to see them coupled, thereby boosting ratings and generating media buzz. A Watsonian reason? Without relevance, I think L would have been another Anya to Clarke. Grapple shortly with the unfair taking of a life right as they choose to steer towards unity, melancholy giving way to the inconvenience of the loss of a potential, powerful political ally. Romance ensured her arc with L would have the designated impact on Clarke's character moving forward in the next act.

For a show not about relationships, Jason has routinely used romantic love as a shorthand for character and dynamic development. It's happened with so many hastily strung together pairings. And when it does, everyone and their mother bends over backward to defend the relationship. It's romantic because it just is. Didn't you see the kissing? Romantic.

No, The 100 at its core is not about relationships, romantic and otherwise. But stack the number of fans invested exclusively by the action against those of us appreciating a strong plot but are emotionally attached to the characters and dynamics. Who do we think wins? Jason can cry all he wants over an audience refusing to be dazzled solely by his flashy sci-fi.

Funnily enough, "not about relationships'' is only ever applied to Bellarke. Bellarke, a relationship so consistently significant, it's the central dynamic of the show. The backbone on which the story is predicated. Only with Bellarke does it become super imperative to represent male-female platonic relationships. As if Bellarke is the end all, be all of platonic friendship representation on this show. In every single television show in the history of television shows.

Where was this advocacy when B/echo was foisted upon on us after one scene between them where he didn't outright hate Echo? When one interaction before that, he nearly choked the life out of her. If male-female friendship on TV is so sparse, why didn't B/ravens celebrate the familial relationship between Bellamy and Raven? Isn't the fact that they interpret Clarke as abusive to Bellamy all the more reason to praise his oh-so-healthy friendship with Raven as friendship? They might be the one group of shippers at the least liberty to use this argument against Bellarke, lest they want to hear the cacophony of our fandom's laughter at the sheer hypocrisy of the joke. Instead, they've held on with an iron grip to the one sex scene from practically three lifetimes ago when the characters were distracting themselves from their feelings on OTHER people? They've recalled this as "proof" of romance while silent on (or misconstruing) the 99% of narrative wherein they were platonic and the 100% of the time they were canonically non-romantic.

Bellarke is only non-romantic if you believe love stories are told in the space of time it takes for Characters A & B to make out and screw each other onscreen, a timespan amounting to less than the intermission of a quick bathroom break. If it sounds ridiculous, it's because it is. And yet, some can't wrap their heads around the idea that maybe, just maybe, a well-written love story in its entirety is denoted by more than two insubstantial markers and unreliable qualifiers. B/raven had sex, and the deed didn't fashion them into a romance. Jasper and Maya kissed but didn't have sex. Were they half a romantic relationship? Bellarke is paralleled to romantic couples all the time, but it counts for nothing in the eyes of their rival-ship fandom adversaries. Take ship wars out of it by considering Mackson. Like B/echo, the show informed us that Mackson became a couple post-Praimfaya, offscreen, via a kiss. Does anyone fancy them an epic love story with their whisper of a buildup? Since a kiss is all it takes, as dictated by fandom parameters, we should.

If Characters A & B are ensconced in a romantic storyline, then by definition, their relationship is neither non-romantic nor fanon. "Platonic" rings hollow as a descriptor for feelings canonically not so.

If the rest of the fandom doesn't want to take our word for granted, Bob confirmed Bellarke as romantic. Is he as delusional as we are? Bob is not a shipper, but he knows what he was told to perform and how. Why do the pineapples twist themselves in knots to discredit his word? If they are so assured by Jason's word-of-god affirmation, then what credibility does it bear to have Bellarke validated by someone other than the one in charge? They're so quick to aggressively repudiate any statement less than "CL is everything. Nothing else exists. CL is the only fictional love story in The 100, nay, the WORLD. CL is the single greatest man-made invention since the advent of the wheel."

We've all seen a show with a romantic relationship between the leads at the core of the story. We all know the definition of slowburn. We can pinpoint the tropes used to convey romantic feelings. We know conflict is how stories are told. We know when interferences are meant to separate them. We know when obstacles are overcome, they're stronger for it. We know that's why the hurdles exist. We know those impediments often take the shape of interim, third-party love interests. We know what love triangles are. We know pining and longing.

Jason wasn't revolutionary in his structure of Bellarke. He wasn't sly. Jason modeled them no differently than most other shows do with their main romances. Subtler and slower, sure. Sometimes not subtle at all. There's no subtlety in having Clarke viscerally react to multiple shots of Bellamy with his girlfriend. No subtlety in him prioritizing her life over the others in Sanctum's clutches. In her prioritizing his life above all the other lives she was sure would perish if he opened the bunker door. There is no subtlety in Bellamy poisoning his sister to stave off Clarke's impending execution. In her relinquishing 50 Arkadian lives for him after it killed her to choose only 100 to preserve. In her sending the daughter Clarke was hellbent to protect, into the trenches to save him. In him marching across enemy lines to rescue her. In her surrender to her kidnapper to march to potential death, to prevent Bellamy's immediate one. No subtlety in Josie's callouts. No subtlety in Lxa's successful use of his name to convince Clarke to let a bomb drop on an unsuspecting village. Bet every dollar you have that the list goes on and on.

There are a lot of layers to what this show was. It was a tragedy, with hope for light at the end of the tunnel. It was, first and foremost, a post-apocalyptic sci-fi survival drama. Within this overarch is the story of how the union of Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake saves humanity, ushering in an age of peace. In this regard, their relationship transcended romance. But with the two of them growing exponentially more intimate each season, pulled apart by obstacles only to draw closer once again, theirs was a love story. A romantic opus, the crescendo timed in such a way that the resolution of this storyline -the moment they get together- would align with the resolution of the main plot. Tying Bellarke to the completion of this tale made them more meaningful than any other relationship on this show, not less.

Whereas the trend with every other pair was to chronicle whether they survived this hostile world intact or succumbed to it, Bellarke was a slowburn. A unique appellation for the couples on this show, but not disqualifying them from romantic acknowledgment.

Framing Bellarke in this manner was 100% Jason's choice. If he wanted the audience to treat them as platonic, he should have made it clear within the narrative itself, not through vague, word-of-god dispatches. A mishandled 180-degree swerve at the clutch as a consequence of extra-textual factors doesn't negate the 84% of the story prior. It's just bad writing to not follow through. And Jason's poor, nearsighted decisions ruined a hell of a lot more than a Bellarke endgame.

The problem is, when Bellarke is legitimized, the pineapples are yanked out of their fantasies where they get to pretend the quoted exaggerations above are real. Here I'm embellishing, but some of them have deeply ingrained their identities in CL to the degree where hyperbole is rechristened to incontestable facts. An endorsement for Bellarke is an obtrusive reminder of the not all-encompassing reception of their ship. A lack of positive sentiment is an attack on their OTP, elevated to an attack on their identity. Before long, it ascends to an alleged offense to their right to exist. The perpetrators of this evil against humanity are the enemy, and they must attack in kind, in defense of themselves.

Truthfully, I think it's sad, the connotation of human happiness wholly dependent on the outcome of a fictional liaison already terminated years ago. I'm not unaware of the marginalization of minorities, of the LGBT+ community, in media. I haven't buried my head in the sand to pretend there aren't horrible crimes committed against them. I don't pretend prejudice isn't rampant. When defense and education devolve into hatred and libel for asinine reasons, though, the line has been crossed. You don't get a free pass to hurt someone with your words over a damn ship war. No matter how hard you try to dress it up as righteous social justice, I assure you, you're woefully transparent.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Old Bones Aflame (Part 41)

Azula looks up from that final patch of bindweed. It is a victory short lived when she realizes that it is not Hama's shadow that has come to fall over her.

"What do you want?"she asks flatly.

"We just wanted to talk." Aang says meekly.

"Is this conversation going to end with my death?"

"It wasn't supposed to end that way the first time." 

Azula sighs. "I suppose that it would be quite a tarnish on your immaculate reputation if I died in front of all of these people."

"Just keep Hama in check." Sokka says bluntly.

"Keep your sister in line." She scoffs and Katara flinched. She turns back to Aang. "I'll make this discussion very quick. If you're going to try to place me back in that facility I have no interest."

Zuko bristles. "That isn't up to you."

"It certainly is. I won't be coming quietly. And killing me permanently won't be quite as simple as you think it will be."

His expression changes only for a flicker. "Im…that's not what I want to do."

"Then you'll have to decide what you want more; me alive and free or me dead."

"You're dangerous, we can't just let you run free!" Sokka declares.

She must say that it is rather flattering to still be seen as a threat even one hand short. "Perhaps I don't want run free, maybe I'd prefer to leisurely walk free." She shrugs. And with a sigh she adds. "Does it look like I have any intention of going back to the Capital for any reason? Have you considered that I'm perfectly content here with my…with my mother and her box of animal bones?" And to Katara she adds. "You damaged those by the way."

"Look, its just really hard to believe that two evil people…"

"Are actually just people who want to dwell in the jungle and be left alone?"

.oOo.

Katara swallows, she wishes that she didn't believe her. But when she had looked into Hama's eyes that day she had only seen deep exhaustion and even deeper sorrow. She had seen that withdrawn, hopelessness that she had gotten so used to seeing in the more battleworn Fire Nation towns.

She had taken away something…someone so important to the women and she had almost felt relieved about.

"I helped heal you."

"And how would you have responded if I helped you heal the Avatar in the Crystal Catacombs? I'm not interested in making friends."

"Neither are we." Sokka cuts in.

"I wouldn't have responded well." Katara finally answers. "I would have as much bad blood with you as I do now."

"Well then." Azula shrugs. "At least when I killed the Avatar we were engaged in combat during a time of war. You all marched up our porch step while we were just…" she shrugs. "Doing our daily routines."

Katara swallows. She tries to remember exactly what she had seen Azula and Hama doing before they had gone and upheaved their serenity like the best of any Fire Nation soldier could have.

And she is sure that Aang is right. They had been talking about plants and Azula learning to cook.

She can almost imagine herself sitting with Hama on her porch. The woman had been a nice teacher. Perhaps in another lifetime they could have been friends.

"What was she going to teach you to cook?"

"I don't remember." Azula replies plainly. "Hama probably does. Why does it matter?"

"I don't know, I guess that I…" what? Needs more proof that they are just two human beings trying to find peace. "Never mind."

"So how is this going to work? Are you all going to let me get back to helping Hama with her garden or am I going to have to indulge in a rematch. Of course I would recommend walking away, Honoki prefers my reign to yours, Zuzu. There have been some particularly heinous rumors about how you’ve treated me and if you kill me again…well then they will have every reason to believe that the worst of them are true.” She pauses. 

“Azula…” Aang starts. 

“But I don’t think that you can kill me again. After all, I was the one who delivered the fatal blow. Hama is safe, you have no leverage.”

“Oh we can get Hama again.” Zuko growls.

“I don’t think that you can. Not without hurting the civilians who have grown rather fond of her. They will protect her. They will protect me. How many of them are you willing to kill to take me down?”

“None!” Aang replies. “We’re not fighting.”

“Is that correct, Zuko?” She spits his name. 

“It’s not.” Zuko replies and Katara grits her teeth. 

Azula smirks, it is enough to chill Katara to the core. She has an advantage, more than the ones that she had already mentioned.

“Zuko, maybe we should just leave.” She winces. “Aang’s right, they’re not hurting anyone–the villagers wouldn’t be helping them if they hated them.”

“Or maybe they’re scared that their village is going to get torched if they don’t.”

“I’m sorry but that was kind of your thing.” Aang points out. “Kyoshi Island is still being repaired. And the villagers look pretty lively to me. Hama is giving them snacks.” He jabs his thumb in the woman’s direction. “She’s giving Toph snacks.”

Sokka blinks twice, his mouth falling agape. “She…she was just over here!”

“And now she’s getting snacks.”

Katara fixes her gaze back on Azula. Her face is as blank and unreadable as ever, maybe less so than before. “We don’t have to like them, Zuko.” Katara speaks up. “And they don’t have to like us but we can agree to just, I don’t know, never speak to one another again. We don’t even have to come near Honoki again.” 

“But they’re threats to the safety of the Fire Nation.”

“I’m a threat to your safety.” Azula rolls her eyes. “Everything I’ve done in the war was to better our nation. You’re the traitor. You and Iroh. Why do you think that these people are still loyal to me? They know that I have their best interests in mine. I’ll put them before other nations.” She furrows her brows. “Of course I wouldn’t go out of my way to destroy the others like father had. So long as they don’t infringe upon Fire Nation affairs I won’t…wouldn’t think much of them either which way. Of course trade would be a possibility…” 

She is rambling. It isn’t entirely like her to muse quite so openly. Katara swallows again; Azula is just another person. She has her passions, subjects she can talk about for hours and never tire. She has her own kind of expressions of love. 

“It doesn’t matter. I have no interest in the throne. There’s no thrill and the city is less vibrant.”

“You love Hama, don’t you?” Katara cuts in.

“Excuse me?”

“You care about her?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Aang meets Katara’s gaze and she is almost certain that he understands where she is going with this. “She taught you not to hate waterbenders, didn’t she?”

Azula sighs. “I don’t hate anybody–not on a collective level anyhow. Certain waterbenders, though, are unbearable. But then, there are certain firebenders that are even worse. It’s a poor reflection on all of us when that one wears the crown.” She ends with a shrug.

Zuko clenches his fists and teeth. 

“She’s not going to bother anyone if we just leave her alone, Zuko.” Aang insists. “Right, Azula?”

“If I wanted Zuko dead, he’d be dead already. I would have made a delightful little sneak attack while we were having this conversation. He wouldn’t have seen me again if he hadn’t sought me out.” 

“She needs to be brought to justice.”

“For what? Killing me? We got her killed so we can call that even. For Ba Sing Se? We haven’t done anything to Iroh and the only difference between what she did and what he did is success.”

Zuko opens his mouth and closes it again. 

“The war is over Zuko, we don’t need anymore bloodshed. And we can’t take her from Hama.”

“Katara, I thought that you were with me.”

“I was.” She admits. “But you weren’t there, Zuko. You didn’t see her face when…” Katara swallows. “You didn’t see the…”

“My body.” Azula fills in. “You didn’t see my body. You didn’t even have the decency to stick around and take a good look at what you caused. At least I had the decency to look at the Avatar after I struck him down.” 

“I’m sure he really appreciated that.” Sokka grumbles. 

“If you can’t stomach murder then you shouldn’t seek to comit it.” 

“I already said that I’m not here to kill you!”

“Oh but you are. Putting me back in that place would kill me–the parts of me that matter anyhow.” 

“The point is that the war is over, we haven’t punished Iroh for his actions in Ba Sing Se. We haven’t punished you for burning Kyoshi Island–we’re friends with you! Katara, you let Yon Rah live.” 

Katara nods, “I don’t regret it.” Not at all. And what is the difference between he and Hama? She swallows once more upon realizing that she has been angrier at Hama than the man who had killed her mother. Hama whose victims are still living–some of them among the people working on her house. “If I can let him go, I can let Hama go. I won’t forgive her and I’ll always remember how terrifying that night was. But I can let the anger go.” 

Aang is smiling now. And Katara realizes that she doesn’t want to be angry. It is such a heavy weight to be angry. And if Hama can help Azula to stop hating waterbenders then how dreadful can she be? “It was you, wasn’t it?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific.” Azula folds her arms across her chest. 

“You’re the reason that the people of Honoki have been treating me better; the reason that they don’t hate waterbenders as much.”

“It’s a work in progress, but if I say something they’ll usually listen. There are some stubborn ones but I like Hama and Kohan…and Khan. So they follow suit. At the very least they’ll leave them alone.”

“If anything, Zuko, it sounds like she’s helping people.” 

.oOo.

Hama has finally noticed their new guests. She and Quin approach with a small army of villagers in tow. “It’s alright, Hama. They were just leaving.” She cuts Zuko a glare. “Right?”

“Right.” Aang says solidly. She has a feeling that the Avatar’s opinion holds more value than thant of an underprepared, dolt of a Fire Lord’s. “We shouldn’t have come back here at all. We’re sorry for damaging your house and almost killing Azula.”

Hama opens her mouth but Azula holds her hand up. They don’t need to know that she had died, mostly because it is an inconvenience to her but she supposes that she doesn’t want to hassle the Avatar either. “And I suppose I should offer you an apology Avatar.” Albeit a curt one. “I did what I had to do. I would do it again. But…”

“I get it, you want to apologize but you don’t want to do it in front of all of these people.” He flashes one of his all too happy-go-lucky smiles. 

“You’re hilarious, Avatar.” 

“It’s always a pleasure talking to you, Azula.” He replies. 

“You should be honored, yes.” She supposes that she doesn’t hate the boy. He has a job to do and he does it sufficiently. Respectably, with a degree of honor that a firebender has to appreciate. “I am willing to converse with you again, perhaps. But none of your other friends.” She gives Toph a sidelong glance. “Alright, that one too. Maybe.” 

“That’s a start.” Aang laughs. 

“Maybe.” She emphasizes.

“Maybe is good enough. Let’s go, Zuko.” He gives his arm a light tug.

And just as he is walking away she says, “oh, and Avatar…”

“Yes?”

“There is something else that I’d like to talk to you about.”

[buglife]

Bend and Not Break - Ch 5: Epilogue - Hands Down

Read here on AO3 :3

As much as Quirrel enjoyed having a ‘break’, it was starting to get on his nerves.

Ever since he woke up from his pseudo coma two weeks ago, he had been doing nothing but lie in bed and get doted on every single second of the day. He understood why, he had inadvertently scared his family and friends after the assassination attempt and they were still worried. It was a close call, and Ghost especially was more protective than usual because of it. Even when the Knights cleared the doctors on duty, they had been reluctant to let any of them near him. He had to reassure his love that doctors tend to know what they are doing and to let them do their jobs. After getting actual doctors involved, he started to feel better. They at least weren’t like his mother, having bugs spy on him to make sure he stayed in bed. She was serious about her threat and he didn't dare test her.

He was also rather surprised to get an entire sack of mail just for him. All of them were well wishes from various citizens, happy to learn that he’ll be okay. He quickly realized that it would be impossible to personally reply to them all, so he got some retainers to write some thank you notes in return. His mother raised him to be polite, after all, and he was touched by the letter. He resolved to keep them as soon as he could figure out where to put them all.

He felt awful. For a while it hurt to breathe and move. Apparently, the poison affected his nerves and the constant spasms had caused some damage. The high fever did not help much either, and it took several days before he could function without pain medication. He had decided after everything was said and done, to never see soup again as long as he lived. He had consumed enough soup to last an entire lifetime, and if Ghost brought him one more bowl of soup he would throw said bowl out the nearest window. Ghost promised not bring any more soup...only to bring him a bisque for dinner that night.

Sometimes he thought that his mother has had an adverse affect on his spouse.

Thankfully, there wasn’t going to be any permanent damage from the poisoning. He would still be tired and weak for a while as his body worked to repair itself, but he wasn’t in danger anymore. The bed rest however, he wasn’t too fond of, not when there was so much to do still. Sure...he slept a lot...but it was the principle of the matter. He was perfectly able to sit up in bed and catch up on paperwork, but he wasn’t even allowed to do that.

How miserable it is, to be on a mandatory vacation, especially for a bug that was used to just...getting up and doing things.

The only good thing about it was that Ghost would carry him to their personal hot spring in the bathroom and they could spend some time together. Being so busy, they often only saw each other briefly through the day and only had an hour or so before bed before exhaustion claimed them both. It was nice to be able to just relax together, listening to random gossip and updating the various running betting pools. So far, Quirrel had 100 Geo riding on Lurien showing up to court high next time they arranged a meeting together. Ghost bet that he wouldn’t, but Quirrel knows Lurien and Lurien deals with social anxiety by removing social anxiety entirely. It was good to laugh again after such a tense week. Eventually, Ghost started taking up duties again while Quirrel’s health continued to improve.

There came the matter of the prisoners left alive, but Quirrel needed to talk to someone first before he made a decision.

Once he was cleared to walk around again, he and his spouse headed to one of the royal suites. Once doctors were cleared, Poppy the scorpion had been moved from protective custody in the dungeon up to a much nicer room to recover in. From what Quirrel understood from both Xena’s reports and Ghost’s commentary, Poppy was an innocent victim in all this. Venomous bugs tended to get quite a bit of discrimination despite how hard they worked to turn public opinion around. Times were changing for sure, one of the archive researchers, a bee-fly, had recently became engaged to her tarantula girlfriend. It was slow going, however, and he wanted to be sure that Poppy would be alright in the end.

He paused outside her door and knocked. “Remember dear, to be gentle with her. It’s probably going to be intimidating to meet with both rulers at once.”

Ghost nodded. “I’ll behave.”

“You better.” Quirrel smirked.

“Hello! Come in!” Came a the voice on the other side of the door. Ghost took the knob, turning it and opening the door for the both to step inside.

The scorpion was sitting in bed, looking much better than what Xena had first described. The softer parts of her chitin was returning to a healthy golden brown and much of her bandages have been removed. Her damaged eye had started to heal, and besides the odd crack or two in her shell, there wasn’t much visible indication of her harrowing ordeal. From was understood, she still needed plenty of rest and food, but she was well enough to finally go home with an escort from Deepnest.

She was clearly only expecting a doctor or someone else other than a royal, because as soon as she spotted the two kings her eyes widened and she started twitching.

“Oh! Oh I am so sorry!” She clasped her many hands together, eyes darting about as she wondered if she should bow or curtsy or anything else other than just sitting in bed. Quirrel held up a hand before she could work herself into a panic attack.

“It’s alright. We’re just here to check up on you.”

She tilted her head. “Really? Um…” She nervously fiddled her pincers together. “I’m... I’m sorry that this all happened. I never wanted to hurt any bugs, I swear!”

“You aren’t in trouble. We know this wasn’t your fault. You seem like a sweet bug, I’m sorry you had to go through all this.” Quirrel said kindly, taking a seat next to one side of the bed. Ghost took the other side and chirped in encouragement.

“We just want to make sure you will be okay, before my sister comes to help you back home.” Ghost signed each word slowly to make sure Poppy could see it with her bad eye. They patted one of her hands, attempting to show a bit of comfort without completely freaking her out.

“Thank you.” She sounded relieved, most likely she thought she was about to get thrown in the dungeon for her unwilling part in this. “It was really nice of you to give me this room until I felt better.”

“To be honest, you deserved at least something nice after all of that. We aren’t even your rulers and yet you refused to work willingly with the conspirators.”

“You weren’t even a warrior, you are a flower bug. It takes immense courage to stand up for what is right even in the face of pain and fear.”

The scorpion blushed blue from the praise, looking like she wanted to duck under the covers and hide, but didn’t out of social politeness. “Um...thanks...your majesties.” She squeaked, deciding instead to hide her face in her pincers for a moment. She was clearly not used to such comments.

Quirrel sighed, thinking of the best way to word the question he wanted to ask. “I apologize for having to bring up what you went through...but there is something we’d like to know, if you would be so kind to answer. We still have some of the conspirators in the dungeon, including the ring leader. If you had a choice, what would you do with them?”

“You mean...like...keeping them in jail or executing them?” She twiddled her claws in thought.

Ghost nodded. “Yes. Technically it would be up to us because of the treason and attempted regicide. But you were also hurt and you are not one of our citizens, and Deepnest deserves an opinion too. We would just like to know your thoughts.”

“Well...um...I don’t...I don’t want more bugs to die.” She shrank a little into herself as she collected her thoughts. “I mean, my momma always said that you can’t um…learn a lesson if you’re dead, ya know? Maybe they could still learn to be good bugs if someone taught them how, if that’s okay…”

Quirrel smiled. “Those are certainly wise words. We’ll take that into consideration when we make a final decision together.”

“We’ll leave you be for now, your escort will be here to collect you once we are done with our meeting. Is there anything else you need before then?” Ghost tilted their head in a smile, echoing their husband.

“No, you all have been so nice! Thank you so much!” She beamed. “I can’t wait to go home and check on my flowers!”

“Good, who knows, we might drop In to say hello sometime.” Quirrel laughed, leaning in closer to mock whisper. “Don’t tell anyone this, but Ghost’s sibling, Hollow, loves flowers. Their room is practically a jungle.”

“Hollow the Kind? Oh! Oh yes we get some really rare and pretty flowers! I’ll save a few for when you drop by!” Clearly this was the route to go, because now Poppy was vibrating in excitement. Her eyes sparkled, now more busy thinking about flowers than being nervous. “If their room is as big as this one, they might like some Strongylodon macrobotrys! Cypripedioideae might also be nice, there’s enough humidity for those!” She started muttering under her breath, scientific names and common names blending together as she thought aloud.

“Don’t worry, once you are situated and back in business, we’ll come take a look.” Quirrel put a stop to her rambling for now. “I’m afraid we must leave for now, but do send a letter to the palace once you are open again.”

“Thanks! I will!” She was practically shining in joy. Both Ghost and Quirrel gave her a polite little bow, and then left her on her own. She was alone within moments, with nothing to do now but to wait for her escort to take her home again.

She started to vibrate again. Inspiration was coming to her, and she cannot be stopped!

She wondered if she could get a hold of a Amorphophallus titanum, something told her that it was a flower that the royal family would get a kick out of for sure.

---

Hornet sat, awaiting her siblings and adopted brother within the meeting room. Two weavers sat with her, one on either side. She wished she could be here for a friendly visit, she honestly did miss her siblings. Alas, the work of a princess is never finished, and she did not envy her mother, the queen, in any way shape or form. Sure her mother commanded respect and power, but the sheer amount of shit she had to put up with in a day makes Hornet grateful that it’ll be a long time before she has to pick up the crown. She thankfully just had this one matter to finish and then she could go home and hide away from other bugs for a while.

Unfortunately, she was stuck with Tiso, who kept making faces at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

“Tiso, if you keep doing that, I will pull that tongue right out of your mouth.” She hissed, but her words weren’t completely full of malice. She fingered the needle in her hands, the urge to stab rising.

“Sorry, I’m already in a committed relationship.” He replied, grinning widely. “I don’t think my girls would like that.”

“I would stab you in the head, but I think I would miss your brain from how small it is.”

“Why do you have to be so mean, Hornet.” Tiso fake pouted. “I happen to have a nice brain...I think.”

“Because someone in this family has to be the mean one, and I take on that position with pride.” She bared her own fangs at the ant. She had more fangs than a spider ought to have for sure. Tiso however, had no fucks to give and thus wasn't intimidated at all.

Before Tiso could antagonize her further, the door to the room opened and in strolled the two rulers of Hallownest. Ghost made a beeline to Hornet, swiftly grabbing her up in a hug and purring loudly. “Sister!”

The weavers sighed, now used to all this. At first they freaked the fuck out when the eldritch god of a king picking up their crown princess and hugged her. Even more when they first heard the weird voice in their heads that belonged to said king. Now, it was routine.

“Hello, Ghost.” Hornet wheezed, getting thoroughly smooshed. With practiced ease, she wiggled herself out of their grip and dropped gracefully to the floor. She turned to regard the pillbug approaching her. “Hello Quirrel, I’m glad to see that you aren’t dead. I would have been quite disappointing in you if you died without my sibling’s express permission.”

He laughed and gave her a quick hug. “As if a little poison alone would kill me.”

“You’re a tougher bug than what I gave credit for.” She stepped back once the pleasantries were out of the way. “It boons well not only for my sibling, but for relations between our kingdoms.”

“You just say that because your mother loves watching you kick my ass up and down the village.” Quirrel sighed and took a seat at the table.

“She does enjoy seeing Deepnest having an equal and honorable relationship with the current diarchy.” She smoothly said, all but confirming Quirrel’s statement as she sat down as well. “It’s much easier to come to a mutual understanding when one honors the traditions and customs of the kingdom they are visiting. Only a bug willing to back up their words through conviction is worthy of mother’s time of day.”

“Yeah, but Herrah also gives us cookies after you beat us up. I didn’t know that was part of Deepnest’s honorable traditions.” Ghost added, sitting next to Quirrel and giving him a quick nuzzle.

“Of course it is!” Hornet snorted, tilting her head to the side and adding some amusement to her voice. “Only the worthy get cookies.”

“Am I worthy enough to get a cookie?” Tiso piped up.

“No.” She hissed.

“Mean.” He retorted, going back to guarding the door with a sigh.

“I believe we should get down to the nature of this meeting,” Quirrel finally cut in, arranging the quill and papers on the table. “Not only are you here to retrieve your citizen, but also to represent your mother in the discussions about the prisoners responsible for her harm.”

“Yes.” She cleared her throat, going into princess mode. “Under current Deepnest law, via our new treaty, citizens from Hallownest that commit crimes in Deepnest are to be extradited to Deepnest for punishment, and vise versa.”

“Well that makes things easier for sure.” Quirrel scribbled on a spare piece of paper. “We have prisoners directly responsible for the abduction and torture of your citizen. I believe Herrah already came to a decision on what is to become of them?”

“Yes. Ghost sent the letter a week ago, it gave mother plenty of time to think.” Hornet reached into her cloak, pulling out a letter written on spider silk. She slid it across the table for both Ghost and Quirrel. “She formally requests that the prisoners be transported to our dungeon, where they will be judged and tried by our people.”

“It will be done.” Ghost looked to Tiso and nodded. “Can you run that order down to the dungeons?”

“Sure, Squib.” Tiso saluted, and then was gone.

Hornet looked at Ghost with a frown after the ant departed. “You shouldn’t let him keep calling you ‘squib’ and the like, you are his king and he should respect you enough to use your title, even if you adopted him.”

“Can’t.” They just shrugged in response. “Big brother rights. It’s law.”

“I’m afraid that it’s true.” Quirrel nodded solemnly. “Especially since you let Hollow call you...what was it now? Their ‘Special Spooder Sister?' I’m guessing we should tell them to add a ‘Princess’ to that as well.”

“It’s okay love, clearly she wants to be referred to her proper title, Princess Angey Spooder. I apologize for not using it earlier, dear sister.”

“Next time we have an event, we will alert the guards to announce you with your proper title, Princess Precious Paws. Please excuse our ignorance.”

“OKAY, I GET IT.” She threw up her hands in frustration. “I’ll shut up about the nicknames!”

Both diarchs struggled to contain their laughter and were quickly losing. Quirrel was the first to crack, and quickly dragged Ghost down with him as they laughed.

The weaver guards looked at Hornet, who only returned a sigh and a head shake. “Yes yes, I exist to provide amusement to the both of you. Are we done here?”

Ghost snorted and wiped their eyes, reining in the lingering giggles. “Yeah, just be sure you are here next weekend for Sibling Day.”

“As if I would miss Hollow’s cooking.” She replied with a curt nod of her head. “Now, I will collect my wayward citizen and return to Deepnest. On behalf of Queen Herrah, Deepnest thanks you for your cooperation and care in regards of one of our own.”

“Hallownest is more than happy to work with Deepnest on whatever they need.” Ghost sat up straight and bowed their head, acting the part of a reining diarch. They tilted their head back up slightly, a hint of mayhem within as they looked directly at Hornet. “I will be sure to write a letter to Herrah, thanking her for allowing her most esteemed and beloved daughter to visit us, her Highness Princess Stabby Spider.”

It took all of Hornet’s grace and self control to NOT start a diplomatic incident. But boy...did she want to.

---

Quirrel looked over the crowd, spouse standing beside him as he once again found himself on a podium. Bugs were crowded in the streets and hanging off the buildings, all looking at him as he spoke. It was the same speech he had written what seemed like ages ago, but it seems like this time he’d be allowed to finish it. Any ounce of nervousness was squashed by a cool hand in his, squeezing once in a while to remind him that his spouse was there. It was very welcome, as he felt the constant urge to look to the rooftops of the buildings around them, ready to dodge in case another crossbow bolt came his way.

There were certainly more guards than usual, but it was understandable. He highly doubted another assassination attempt would be possible with how many guards were out and about. Most of the citizens didn’t seem to mind, watching and listening with smiles as he continued to prattle on. He didn’t feel like standing here all day, he had plans.

“And so we formally declare that the Hallownest Memorial Greenhouse is now open to the public! Feel free to inside and have a look! Thank you all for coming today, and we hope you all enjoy it!”

Finally, it was done. Ghost leaned against him as they watched the citizens filter into the multi-story greenhouse. They seemed to be having a good time, and they obviously didn’t need the two rulers to keep hanging around if not needed anymore.

“You know what,” Came the whisper of Ghost’s voice in Quirrel’s head. “Since we are done here...why don’t we do something?”

“Like what, dear?” Quirrel stretched, working out the kinks from standing up for so long.

“We could do something...spicy.” There was a devilish edge to their tone, a hand reaching around to squeeze his side. “We don’t have anything we have to do, we got plenty of time to...experiment a little.”

The pillbug couldn’t help but shiver a little, flashing a grin. “Oh ho...feeling adventurous today, are we?”

“I am.” Ghost reached down to scoop up their husband, not caring on who was watching the amount of tooth-rotting romance going down. “Let’s not waste any time, I’ve been wanting to do this with you for ages.”

Quirrel grinned, this was going to be fun.

---

“Ghost! Don’t rub your eyes after handling the peppers!”

A sharp echoing noise of pain leaked through the closed door and drifted into the hallways, stopping a pair of retainers in their tracks. They stood still for a moment, listening, unsure if they were going to be needed. They could hear one of their kings talking and the other apparently flailing around and knocking things over.

“Why the hell did you buy Dragon’s Breath peppers then? They are supposed to burn!”

A few dishes shattered and there came a slosh of water.

“Love! Stop! I’ll rinse out your- WAIT, BE CAREFUL WITH THE STOVE-”

A bright flash of yellow illuminated the bottom crack of the door and smoke began to drift from under it. There came quite a bit of commotion at that, and they could hear the occupants inside run about and knocking even more things over.

One retainer looked to the other. “What the hell is going on?”

“They are trying to cook.” Replied the other. “I don’t think it’s going well.”

“What gave you that idea?” The first sarcastically snarked, watching the smoke get a little thicker.

The second sighed. “Wait here, I’ll go get the fire extinguishers.”

[The End]

-------

The end :D Thanks for being patient, my now fiancé was visiting and I didn't get much time to write! Now I'm back on track.

Chapter title comes from this song which is so romantic and sweet and it makes me think of two people genuinely in love and all the silliness it entails. These two especially, being NERDS.

What happened to the ones involved with the assassination plot that didn't get sent to Deepnest? They are down in the waterways, hand scrubbing that all clean. No mops, just good ol' buckets and sponges. Poppy did say that just killing someone means that they will never learn the lesson they needed, so both Ghost and Quirrel took that into consideration and put their asses to work to better the kingdom. Maybe after a few decades the lesson will be fully learned >)

ALSO if you are cooking with hot peppers, be sure not to touch your eyes, mouth, or nose, or it will BURN.

[rochiomaru]

Destiny

I am on the Numancia, sailing towards Mariejois. Just the thought of that place causes bile to burn the back of my throat. I spit over the side of the boat and grimace in distaste. If there was ever an epitome for the tragedy that has befallen me in my lifetime, it is found within its walls. I swing my head back and roll my shoulders as a wide sneer plasters itself on my face. I begin to laugh as I think of the fools living there, and the Marines I am on my way to meet within its gates.

Despite the bitter taste in my mouth, a smile finds its way on my face while I consider the events of the last couple of years since Rosinante’s betrayal. I still cannot stand to be in the snow to this day, but do manage to find my way to Minion island at the same time each year since he died. I can feel that wretched heat that always threatens to fill my eyes when I think of my broth… of the traitor lying on the frozen ground. I try to tell myself that my chest tightening and the sudden tightness of my throat is simply anger. I know it’s a lie, but that will have to be sufficient until I return there next time.

As my ship comes closer to the harbor, I can see that other ships have already docked within the walls surrounding the city. It surprises me that they would allow so many pirates into such proximity to such a supposedly holy place. I realize that these pirates are essentially held out as dogs on leashes, but even a trained dog can still bite its owner, should the mood strike it. The thought of the shichibukai turning on the marines makes me laugh as I picture bloody corpses and gore splattered along the pristine walls of Mariejois.

Once the Numancia has properly anchored and I give word to my crew that I am disembarking, I use my strings to fly the last few hundred meters to the shore. I see no need to entrust my family to the marines, even if I do hold all the cards in this particular game. I have been burned once by these bastards; they shall not get the chance to do it again. Until I know more about what being a warlord entails, my ship will stay outside of the walls.

Once I land on the dock, I see Sengoku and Tsuru standing there with about a dozen marines. I stop to stretch my arms over my head and crack my neck. I want them to realize exactly who it is they are up against, if they are planning an attack. I am fairly certain this was not a trap, as the invitation to join the warlords did not come from this loser. I have spoken with people, much higher up the ranks than Sengoku. He is, after all, simply their puppet. I begin to laugh at the thought and walk towards them slowly. If they are in a hurry, they can come to me.

The one they call “the Budda” confronts me first. He has the same look of hatred that Rosi...the Commander had that day as he stops me from getting closer to the entryway. I stop and look down at him, though I must admit the jackass isn’t that much shorter than me, but enough that I can smirk and allow some haki to push against him. Since submerging myself more into the underworld after that incident, I have found even greater information about my enemies. It’s quite useful what power and intimidation can buy. Now that my bloodlust is fully unleashed, no one is willing to stand against the Joker. Several marines were more than helpful in giving me details as to how my former brother came to be raised by this man and set against me.

I lean forward and speak, “Greetings, Fleet Admiral. How thoughtful of you to come and welcome me.” I cock my head to the side and let my tongue fall out as the sarcastic words practically drip with venomous undertones. My mind is beginning to scream and my thoughts are hard to control, but I have come to accept my own madness these past couple of years. Though I plan to burn the world, and these fools with it for what they have done, I can bide my time.

His face turns a beautiful shade of purple as anger wells within him. A vein becomes visible on his temple and he grits his teeth while he slowly begins to speak, “Captain Donquixote, of the Donquixote Pirates. Welcome to the Royal Shichibukai…”

I watch in amusement and he appears to begin choking somewhat. A half sobbing noise comes from within the man’s throat before he coughs and forces out the next sentence. “Your bounty of 340,000,000 is hereby exonerated.” 

I spy a solitary tear in his eye and cannot control the laughter that comes from my chest. I am so enraged that I want to slaughter everyone on this damned island. How dare he act like the victim?! This is the fucking bastard that set my precious brother against me and forced me to remove him from this life! I have no biological family to speak of due to this piece of trash in front of my face! And he has the utter gall to consider himself the one wronged?

The laughter comes louder and deeper from within me and soon I am doubled over with it. I have to laugh to keep myself from flying into a murderous rampage. The time to massacre this vermin has not come yet. However, I do not think Sengoku appreciates my benevolence. The harder I laugh, the more outraged he becomes.

Finally he screams and begins to shimmer. His body is morphing as he grows and turns golden, and his men take arms against me. My laughter stops instantly, as if cut by a blade. Quicker than anyone’s eye can see, I engage my strings and every man he has is strung in the air by their throat. My smile is gone, and I hold my right hand outward with slender fingers extended. Tsuru keeps calm and steps between myself and the Budda, all of our eyes look upwards to the struggling soldiers as blood begins to drip softly from the wounds digging into their tender flesh.

“Do not test me. I did not come here to fight, but I will finish this,” I inform them coldly, leaving no room for doubt as to my power. The voices I have come to live with and that own my soul are screaming to end the lives of the men hanging from my strings. They push me to make an example of these rats for having attempted to strike out against me without provocation. My teeth are grinding tighter and faster as I lose myself in the chaos within my own tormented mind, and my fingers begin to curl which causes the threads to tighten their hold on the men.

Tsuru puts her wrinkled hand on my arm and I hear a slight gasp come from her lips, but suddenly everything goes quiet within my mind. I search for the demons that haunt me every moment, but they seem to have withdrawn from my consciousness. Slowly I meet her eyes and she says softly, “You are not what I imagined you to be, brat.” I swallow a lump in my throat as a warm feeling settles in my chest. Though they really look nothing alike, there is something in her brown eyes that reminds me of my mother. 

The moments seem to tick off endlessly as we consider one another and she then admonishes in a louder voice, “Maybe you should quit with these games and we can get to business, eh?” The fearlessness of this old woman as she looks me in my face amuses me greatly and I smile at her. I drop my hand, causing the soldiers to fall from the sky. I can’t help but to chuckle at the sounds of them moaning while trying to stand and see to the superficial cuts and bruises on their worthless necks. It isn’t like I did any permanent damage.

"Anything for you, grandmother,” I chirp while blowing the older woman a kiss. She grunts and rolls her eyes at me, but I am sure I see a small smile in the corner of her mouth. I cannot help but to like her, and offer her a smile in return. She is so very interesting, and I think these meetings may not be nearly so dull if she is involved. 

Sengoku, on the other hand, still looks like he wants to kill me. The smile fades from my face and I clench my hands at my sides. She notices my change and quickly turns towards him. “Come on, you old fool! It’s time to start the meeting,” she snaps while grabbing a hold of his collar, causing him to bend forward. She then drags him behind her and into the building, the marines staggering after them.

I watch the door they disappeared through and continue to stew about the confrontation with that bastard. If it wouldn’t be so damn inconvenient to my plans, I would use my strings to strangle the life out of Sengoku here and now! However, I know that with this meeting to officially make me one of the Royal Shichibukai, I will have to have more interactions with him similar to the one we just experienced. 

The only joy I get is knowing the influence I hold over the Elder Stars. To watch that piece of shit have to bow to my whims simply because of who I can make a call to if he displeases me, almost makes all of this worth it. I cannot help but to laugh at the thought of him pissing himself in fear at what the Stars may do to him or his underlings if the Elders are pushed too far, or pressed with the right information. Perhaps Sengoku shouldn’t have turned the Commander against me, hmmm? Fucking bastard.

I take a few more deep breaths and close my eyes. I notice that the voices have returned to my mind, and though the reprieve was amusing, I revel in the chaos beginning to swarm in my mind. I have lived with it for so long, that I honestly don’t know how to react to life without them now. After a few more breaths, I realize it’s time to move on. I head into Navy Headquarters.

In the time it takes to enter the building and walk the hallway to where I am to meet the others, I prepare myself for whatever may come once I enter the room with the Warlords. Though I fear none of them, I know they are all powerful pirates and need to be on guard for any possible plots against myself or my family.

With a wide grin in place, I enter the room. It is time to step into the next phase of my destiny.

[i-dream-of-twilight-sparkle]

Chapter 28: Starlight’s Mother, Part 4 - The Tragedy of Starlight’s Past

The group that went to New Haven to bring back Sunburst’s father return to the room where everyone else is waiting for them.

Twilight: Welcome back, all of you! So you’re Sunburst’s father? It’s nice to finally meet you.

Sunspot: I could say the same Princess Twilight… especially after you and your son Spike’s Dragon Tear has allowed me to find some closure about Sunset. We still have yet to hear everything about what happened… but I’d still like to thank you and Spike so much for letting me see my sister again, from beyond the grave no less.

Twilight: You’re welcome! Once me and Spike discovered this and got some important information on how it all works, we needed to immediately get to the ponies we knew that would need to see any spirits whether they miss them so much like Applejack and her parents. Or as it turned out… figuring out the mysteries about Starlight’s Mother, your sister, and what happened to Sunset. Who knew they’d all connect?

Sunset: Speaking of what happened to me, while there... I had another memory jog… I still don’t know everything yet… but Sunspot brought back something that helped me remember something.

Twilight: Oh? What is this?

Sunspot brings out the jar with Sunset’s disembodied yellow horn he found while on a search at Nightmare Cliffs.

Just about the entire room gasps. Any Unicorns and both Alicorns in particular shivering at the sight. Rarity in particular just about shrieks in horror.

Rarity: I-is t-that…?!

Sunset: My disembodied horn? Yes, it is.

Rarity falls over fainting, Fluttershy catches her as she falls backward

Twilight: You lost your horn?! Was this during the confrontation with the Anarchists?

Sunset nods

Sunset: When I saw the horn, I instantly got a mental image of facing two pony shaped figures in front of me and another flying above me. Followed by a large rock that was dropped at the base of my horn, breaking it off and giving me a short concussion.

Twilight: That’s awful… I suppose that also explains how you had trouble despite the anarchists otherwise being regular ponies…

Sunset: It definitely looks like whatever happened, they took advantage of the fact I couldn’t effectively use my magic after my horn broke, and I died somehow… That’s all the new information I have, though of course a reminder that 2 of the 3 lost their lives too… so whatever happened next certainly couldn’t have been as simple as they grouped together to throw me off the cliff or something.

Starlight: Brrr… losing the horn… that’s a fear just about every unicorn has… I can’t imagine what that must of felt like…

Sunset: It was quite painful… and I definitely think I remember feeling a bit of helplessness after I recovered from the concussion.

Starlight: At least physical injuries don’t seem to have shown up permanently on your spirit. I can see your horn’s still on you right now

Twilight: Spirits show up as the last known appearance of those who summoned them. Which means Firelight’s memory likely allowed Sunset to appear as she was on the last day Firelight saw her before she left towards that fateful chase. It might be possible had Starlight summoned Sunset by herself, maybe the physical appearance of when you died would of showed up, since it defaults to just about the spirit’s age and/or last appearance when alive if the one who summoned them is somepony blood related that did not know them. Though Spirits are also capable of becoming any age/appearance they were when alive. I saw Jinn turn herself into an old mare, and a filly earlier. I wonder if the same goes for physical injuries?

Sunset closes her eyes and focuses, she only needs to go a little bit forward. Most of her horn fades away revealing a hole of a horn very much akin to Tempest Shadow’s own broken horn, a disheveled and wet mane and tail as if she was in the middle of a heavy storm, and her right eye injured with a black eye revealed as she opened her eyes

Rarity has finally recovered from her faint, but as she looks up she now sees Sunset with her injured appearance. And she faints again.

The rest of the group just look taken aback as they view Sunset’s likely appearance before she died.

Twilight: Ouch… I hope going into injured appearances doesn’t result in you feeling that pain again…

Sunset: Thankfully no, it’s only appearance-wise on us spirits. We don’t exactly… have nerves anymore. Like say if somepony who was able to touch me, hit me for some reason. It wouldn’t exactly hurt. I could still get angry and ask why they’re trying to hit me, but I don’t think Starlight, Sunburst, Princess Celestia, Fi-Fi, and my brother would ever want to.

All those who she named nod in agreement that they have no reason to want to hit Sunset. Sunset focuses again to erase the injuries and looks like how she was before again.

Meanwhile, Sunset’s brother Sunspot approaches Princess Celestia and bows before her.

Sunspot: Princess Celestia, it’s an honor to be in your presence.

Celestia actually looks sort of solemn at the bow of Sunset’s brother.

Celestia: Are you sure I deserve this bow… Sunset led a dangerous life because she was my protege… It’s indirectly my fault your beloved little sister’s life ended this way...

Celestia closing her eyes, with tears dropping. Sunset looks at her old mentor, and immediately goes to reassuring the Princess.

Sunset: Princess, you know as well as I do that I when you said you wanted to make me your personal protege, I was enthusiastic. I very much enjoyed my time as your student, if anything, I should of listened to you when you told me to take a break from watching the movement of every threat out there that I personally chose would be my prerogative. But I was so dedicated to protecting Equestria that I lost sight of having much of a personal life. And because I chose to pursue criminals at every opportunity, that only made it more difficult to establish one.

If there’s anypony to blame for what happened other then the 3 anarchists I chased that fateful day, it would be myself, for getting careless…

Celestia: I appreciate hearing that from you, Sunset… just even I kick myself for what I perceive as failures… even as I now have my sister back, it doesn’t make it any less upsetting that I didn’t stop her turn into Nightmare Moon in the first place…

Sunset just gives Princess Celestia a reassuring smile.

Sunset: Good thing you found a new student that succeeded on bringing her back to you, and now Twilight will achieve everything you hoped I would one day. And from the sounds of things, the world has gotten more and more peaceful. Actually…

Sunset turns towards Twilight.

Sunset: Is if ok if I ask for a run through on all the threats you faced in your time as Celestia’s student? I know you didn’t really start saving the world until past Adulthood, meanwhile my world-saving days started in my pre-teens. But maybe I can provide some commentary if any of them were in my list of potential threats.

Twilight: Well.. I guess I’ll start with Nightmare Moon. Where, through trials of my friends showing their elements. we discovered the Elements of Harmony and were able to banish the evil out from within Luna.

Applejack tips her hat up and winks, Pinkie Pie bounces, Rarity gracefully poses, Fluttershy smiles, and Rainbow Dash gives a smug grin as Twilight reminds them of their first triumph together.

Sunset: Mmhmm! Very nice! It was still a good two decades before Luna’s Banishment was over so I would of been in my 40’s if I had been the one to face off with Nightmare Moon. Though if I had continued on, I likely would of already ascended prior to then so I could really help bring Luna back.

Celestia: I don’t know if Sunset would of had 5 individual friends, like you did Twilight. Another option we possibly had was I use half of the elements, while Sunset used the other 3 for us together to free Luna. I probably would of used the elements of laughter, kindness, and generosity. And Sunset would be given magic, loyalty, and honesty.

Twilight: Those elements do seem to fit you, I know from experience Princess Celestia would of wielded the 3 elements she mentioned, and now that I’ve met Sunset… She was very good at magic, she was really loyal to Princess Celestia, and while this is a bit posthumously… she’s shared much of the truth of quite a few things. So that might’ve worked.

Sunset: What’d you face off with next?

Twilight: Next was… Discord. He was surely a hoof full…

Sunset: Ohhhhh yea, Discord was still trapped in his statue throughout my time. But I was aware of what crazy things he was capable of. But apparently he’s on the good side now?

Twilight: When he wants to be I guess... he’s friends with Fluttershy so he doesn’t do much to actively antagonize any of us. But he does do some things we often have to go and fix… Frankly, one good thing about being a genie… is that I’m able to fix something crazy he does faster then it otherwise normally would of been.

Sunset: It is true that becoming a genie got you powers just about on par with Discord. He does call himself the Spirit of Chaos. Given you’re at least in part Spirit, you could say you’re the Spirit of Order. *giggles*

Twilight: Wait… is Discord’s magic soul magic too?

Sunset: I’m not even sure, I think Discord has magic that fits in its own category, but it is quite powerful. It might be safer to say it’s sort of a mix between soul magic and dark magic? It’s neither powered up with good over a lifetime like soul magic is, though it’s not inherently malicious or damaging like dark magic is.

Twilight: Hmm… true. His magic often has insane or annoying results, but it’s often all for laughs and/or doesn’t purposefully harm anypony. Might be for once, something interesting to talk about to him later.

Anyhow… after we defeated Discord. Queen Chrysalis and her army of changelings invaded my brother’s and Princess Cadence’s wedding

Sunset: Ah yes… Queen Chrysalis… I did some recon of the hive back in the day. But due to that protection they have of not allowing non-changeling magic from working around or in the hive… I couldn’t really approach to attack myself, as it was too dangerous to go in alone. But they also didn’t have much power, since there was no big event for them to gather enough love to attack like the wedding your brother had. I had them listed as a low-tier present time threat that could potentially become a big threat, if a publicized event full of love to feed on happened as they invaded.

Twilight: Which happened to be my brother’s wedding… huh…?

Sunset: I guess so! And it was also another reason I had a secretive wedding with Fi-Fi, a personal protege of the princess having a public wedding may have been exactly what Chrysalis was waiting for.

Twilight: The changeling invasion was the last big event before I became a genie. Going to Saddle Arabia was in fact somewhat of a reward Celestia allowed me and Spike after defeating Chrysalis. There was no threats then, but I wonder if maybe Malakhar would of tried to genify you at some point Sunset if he had seen you?

Sunset: Possibly! Though I believe Malakhar may have only been a little colt back when I was still Celestia’s protege.

Twilight: I guess his Grandfather could of possibly done it then, if they had found out about you early enough.

Sunset: I have been to Saddle Arabia before, but I mostly accompanied Celestia during routine negotiations with the Sultan. So I was never there too long, and never really on the Streets where Malakhar’s grandfather could of approached me.

Twilight: Alright… so next… the Crystal Empire came back and so did King Sombra.

Sunset: Oof, Sombra is certainly a doozy. He’s pretty much dark magic incarnate. I think sometime ago, he discovered a way to sort of control himself in Dark Magic form if he ever was killed though at the price that if he’s defeated, he sort of gets a fate worse then death in being trapped in a void that only could escape through substantial magic, such as the Crystal Empire coming back. I think technically the first time Celestia and Luna faced him was when he “died” for the first time.

Twilight: Oh, is Sombra being controllable dark magic why he has that sort of smoky form?

Sunset: *shrugs* I only heard of Sombra through whatever the royal archives had on him, so I’ll take your word you saw that. But maybe?

Twilight: The fact he only goes to a void may have explained why he came back two more times…

Sunset: WHAT?! You had to face Sombra THREE times?! How in Equestria did that happen?

Twilight: …I did say Discord did things that we had to fix

Sunset: ….Are you sure Discord is on the good side? I would of put him back in stone for bringing back Sombra TWICE!

Twilight: Believe me when I say I sometimes feel the same way… but again, he does have a legit friendship with Fluttershy. Plus, he’s actually helped me out at least once when I was had this strange Genie Sickness. He also helped with something that i haven’t quite gotten to yet. But I still have a few more events and/or villains to talk about before then. 

Though Sombra was the last threat before I ascended to Princesshood. Though… given you were Celestia’s student before me. I hope you don’t feel like me mentioning that is sort of flaunting a status you didn’t achieve…

Sunset shakes her head horizontally

Sunset: No, staying to eventually ascend to Princesshood became the opposite of what I wanted. I wanted a family. Celestia & Luna have never been married, and the reason for that is while outliving friends, family, as well as royal staffers & guards is hard enough. It’s a whole ‘nother thing with special someponies, and your own children. Cadence has your brother, though arguably she may be the one exception being the Princess of Love. Outliving your brother is just going to have be something she faces one day.

Twilight: Yeah… though at least Spirit summoning will sort of help with that. But I picture it’ll still be rather hard for both her & me when Shining passes

Sunset: Just always remember that everypony going up there just continues to protect the planet long after they’re gone and that may make you feel better. Plus, unless you have a lot of huge dragon friends that pass you want to see, it should be safe to summon a few friends down every now and then.

Twilight nods

((Story continues after the break))

Twilight: Continuing on… my first huge test against a villain as Princess was Tirek.

Sunset: Oh yeah… Tirek would of certainly been a toughie had he gotten out with enough strength to cause havoc when I was around

Twilight: He certainly was tough, even with the combined added strength of Celestia, Luna, and Cadence coursing through my veins. Tirek had Discord’s magic powering him up... So we had a stalemate. And it took an additional power-up offered by the Tree of Harmony to send him back to Tartaurus as we just happened to have collected these sort of strange keys over the course of that year that allowed us to open a box given to us.

Sunset: Sometimes you gotta be lucky, when saving the world!

Twilight: After Tirek… was when we returned to Saddle Arabia, though this time also bringing my friends along. That was when we came face-to-face with Zathir, who controlled me with a device of his own, and if not for Spike creating his Dragon’s Tear that we’re using to see and talk with you now… the world would likely be under a Saddle Arabian empire controlled by Zathir.

Sunset: I did always have a feeling that Zathir was somepony that had some sort of plot in his mind. Though now I know what it was, his method of trying to take over the world seemed unlikely given no genies were around. And up until what he did to you, the Sultan naively trusted him.

Twilight: Perhaps the scariest part was ironically after I was freed from his control… where he stabbed Spike straight in his right eye…

Sunset: OUCH… I guess that explains Spike’s scar…

Spike: It’s thanks to Fluttershy, I didn’t end up with only one eye. Remnants of being a vampire bat pony had healing properties in her fang.

Sunset looks over to Fluttershy a bit dumbfounded

Sunset: You were a vampire?!

Fluttershy sheepishly smiles

Fluttershy: Sorta… only in regards to fruit… not blood, ehehhehheh...

Applejack: We kinda always get some pretty strange things happen t’ us, even when we’re not saving the world

Sunset: I see… well, I certainly have to be thankful for what happened after you girls defeated Zathir... not just for the usual saving the world once again... But due to that event spawning the very Dragon’s Tear allowing me to speak down here so I can see my husband again and talk to my lovely daughter for the first time. 

So… what came next?

Twilight gulps, given Sunset just mentioned talking to her lovely daughter… given her daughter was the next villain. Twilight looks over to Starlight, who gives her a sad face but still whispers as she says…

Starlight: Go ahead, Twilight. It’s best she knows much of the truth of what my life’s been like…

Twilight nods, even if she is still a little afraid of Sunset losing all good will she had for her daughter up until now.

Twilight: Well um… how can I put this… your daughter… Starlight… led a whole town under an Equalist Cult that took cutie marks away… and aimed to expand...

Sunset looks over to her daughter with a stern look, causing Starlight to lower her head. But instead of actually getting mad at Starlight, Sunset just breathes deep and sighs.

Sunset: *sigh* I knew I shouldn’t have left that manifesto in the house… even if I at least tried to hide it…

Twilight: Huh? Manifesto?

Starlight: She’s… probably referring to the other book I found when I broke the wall… it happened to be the manifesto that got me hooked on the beliefs I held over “Our Town”…

Sunset: Among many of the criminals I defeated were also those looking to start dangerous cults. I burned most copies, but usually kept one as a sort of historical account of what to look out for. It’s a shame that this one lone copy ended up in the hooves of my daughter, and she got influenced by it… so I kind of blame myself more for that one…

Sunset turns around to Firelight with a rather stern eyebrow raise at her husband

Sunset: Though I should also ask how you let her read it…

Firelight: Um… you never told me what the book looked like… I thought it was just a math book from the Equal Sign on the cover… She always looked like she was quite deeply engrossed in the book… I didn’t want to take it away from her because she always had this infectious smile on her face reading it so intently…

Sunset: You never saw what was in the book other then the Cover?! What kind of filly her age was going to be so engrossed in Math like that?!

Firelight: I’m so sorry, Shimmy! I really thought she was just yearning to be a fantastic mathematician or something!

Sunset facehoofs

Sunset: Well... at least Twilight and the others broke you out of that ideology… and you seem to be on good terms now. 

Given the reaction though, it makes Twilight even less sure about telling Sunset about what came next. She leans on over to whisper to Starlight.

Twilight: Starlight… I can skip over what happened with the time travel… I feel like she may blow a gasket if she hears about that…

Starlight looks to the side and allows Twilight to not mention it, though she has this strange sense it’d probably be important for her mother to hear it anyhow.

Twilight: Anyhow… next Queen Chrysalis came back. And managed to bottle nap me and capture many of us. A team of your daughter, Trixie, Discord, and a rogue changeling named Thorax had to come in and save Equestria

Hearing this cheers up Sunset, she grins and looks at her daughter

Sunset: No way! My daughter has saved Equestria once? Once again, the apple hasn’t fell far from the tree. I’m proud of you, Starlight!

Starlight at first blushes from her praise, but then she looks to the side sadly. And she lowers her head and closes her eyes.

Starlight: No… I don’t deserve this praise yet… maybe not even ever... and I refuse to hold any more secrets out from my family…

Sunset: Huh? What do you mean?

Starlight: There’s some context missing before I helped defeat Chrysalis the 2nd time around… it didn’t go as simply that Twilight and the others freed me from the Equalist ideology and then I was on their side from then on… I ran away and plotted a revenge plan… 

The whole room gasps as it looks like Starlight’s about to fully come clean to what she’s done to her mother who was known for making sure Equestria was safe at all costs. Starlight’s use of Time Travel arguably being one of the highest threats to Equestria as they knew it throughout Twilight and her friends’ era.

Starlight: I tried to change the past with a Time Travel spell by preventing the Elements from earning their cutie marks… It took seeing multiple timelines of bad outcomes and some soft spoken words from Twilight before I was finally convinced to get back to the present safe and sound…

Sunset just stands there distraught, and her face towards her daughter becomes even more stern.

Sunset: Starlight… An act like that… if I were the one to see you do that… I would of had the hard choice of having to turn my own daughter into stone.. or sent to Tartaurus! You don’t mess with time travel! Do you have any idea how many lives that effects?!

Starlight: I know, I know, I know! I kick myself for it everyday… I never even gave Twilight the full context of why I did it back then… I told her what put me on the path was Sunburst earning his cutie mark and leaving me in sparsely populated and friendless Sire’s Hollow…

But I left out that you disappeared 2 weeks after I was born…

I left out that when my father was at work... I was left alone at the house, not even one babysitter as a mother figure to tell me right from wrong... and a naive father… 

I left out that not only did I read a manifesto that only reinforced my beliefs about Cutie Marks… I also got my very own Cutie Mark by using a spell book you left behind in the house after an intense magical outburst… I never even mentioned back then that I couldn’t understand my mark…

Or perhaps more accurately… I didn’t want to understand it…

Thus over years of indoctrination, I eventually put it into action when I took over a small village and plotted to expand. But then I was defeated by Twilight and the other Elements of Harmony... my hypocrisy exposed as they managed to show I still had my Cutie Mark to the entire village and thus had been lying to them… I ran away, occasionally keeping up with Twilight’s movements.

Until... I finally made my move and gave in to my darkest impulses… I entered her castle and went to change the past… Battling Twilight as the timelines changed… It still took a bit of time… but seeing all those horrible futures… and Twilight speaking to me softly near the end… I finally gave in, and turned myself in fully expecting a harsh punishment for what I did… What Twilight did instead… I couldn’t have ever expected…

She extended the hoof of friendship, and put me under her wings as her student. I couldn’t believe it myself, I had done such terrible things and from all they knew, for such petty reasons as a friend moving away… Not that I wasn’t grateful for not being as harshly punished as I probably should’ve been… but another thing about being under Twilight’s wing… she sort of became the mother figure I never had in my life at that point… and this was an opportunity to finally feel how that felt like…

Starlight starts tearing up heavily

Starlight: I just didn’t have a very happy early life because you were gone, mother! I was so jealous of other ponies! I was left with almost no reason to care what happened to the world when it all seemed so unfair! 

Twilight and her friends get worldwide recognition as heroic, talented ponies not just because of their marks… but they also had lovely families and friends that loved them, were always around, and/or didn’t keep such important secrets from them! And while I never understood how I got it until now, because I had so much raw magical power... perhaps I thought it was just my destiny to change Equestria in the way I saw fit...

But then my Equality Cult was foiled in “Our Town”... I thought I would only end up rotting in jail if I allowed myself to be captured, so I gave in to my worst instincts and decided to get revenge on Twilight and her friends in the best manner possible while also proving cutie marks weren’t the be-all to end-all once-and-for-all. And Time Travel felt so enticing to that goal... 

I wanted to see Twilight’s face when she sees cutie marks don’t matter and the world would of been fine without her and her friends finding their talents. But each timeline kept backing up what Twilight was saying... Especially the one where Equestria was nothing but a cloudy, deserted wasteland!

I gave in to dark instincts prior to time traveling, but I never aimed to actually kill anypony nor end nearly all life on Equestria! I foolishly thought everypony’s lives would generally be unchanged without the Elements of Harmony finding their marks! I still cared about Equestria at large, I just refused to believe 6 Cutie Marks were so important to the world when all I had known about cutie marks was the loss of my only friend and utter confusion and disdain about my own... And never having that mother figure in my life to tell me right from wrong…

If only you had survived, Mother! *sniff* I may have never gone the path I went down!

Starlight covers her eyes with her hooves and just starts sobbing uncontrollably on the ground. Sunset now hearing the full context lowers her head, and lessens her stern look at her daughter. She sits down for a moment and stays silent. Before outstretching her hooves to call Starlight in for another hug.

Sunset: …Come here, dear. You look like you need another hug from me

Starlight sniffs, and is a little bit surprised she managed to get her mother on hugging terms after she admitted how dire her actions got. Starlight walks on over into her Mother’s hooves and continues to sob right into her mother’s shoulder. Tears again falling through the transparent spirit. Suddenly, her mother lets go of the hug and starts singing toward Starlight.

((To the tune of My Past is Not Today))

Sunset: Answers…

Was all you desired… But all that grew inside of you was the darkness you acquired…

When you began to fall And you lost the path ahead… That’s when your friends found you And they lifted you instead!

(Sunset jumps up slightly kicking her hind legs as she transforms her body from the waist down into her spirit tail and triumphantly flies around her daughter as she sings the chorus)

Like a phoenix burning bright in the skkkkkyyyyyyy! I’ll show there’s another side to you... You can’t denyyyyyyy!

I may not know what the future holds But hear me when I saaaay... That your past does not define you... ‘Cause your past is not todaaaaaay!

(Starlight feels the warmth and comfort of her mother’s singing get to her as her tears start streaming more in joy rather then from admitting everything she’s done. Though she still expresses some concerns)

Starlight: My... past is not today...? I don’t know about that... It’s certainly always felt like it’s still today... because I can’t help but always think about it... *sniff*

Sunset: Your past is what shaped you into the pony you are today, that’s all true. There’s no shame in admitting things you’ve said and done were wrong. But you also don’t have to feel like who you were in the past is still who you are now. You alone... have the power to shape yourself into the pony you want to be...

(Starlight smiles and raises her head high, as she begins to sing a verse of her own towards her mother)

Starlight: Vengeance…

Is what I belieeeeved…

Would be the only way...

to make them seeeeeee…

Because you disappeared...

And I found myself alone…

Until you came down like a comet...

And now it truly feels like hoooome!

(Starlight charges up her horn to allow her to levitate herself in the room, she used it originally before she got her cutie mark. And eventually mastered it by the time she fought with Twilight across the timelines, but is now simply using it to go in sync with her flying spirit mother in the air)

Like a phoenix burning bright

In the skkkkkyyyyyyy!

I’ll show there’s another side to me

You can’t denyyyyyyy!

I may not know what the future holds

But hear me when I saaaay...

That my past does not define me...

‘Cause my past is not todaaaaay!

(Starlight and Sunset quiet down their voices to repeat the chorus together)

Sunset & Starlight: Like a phoenix burning bright... in the sky...

Sunset/Starlight: 

I’ll show there’s another side to you/I’ll show there’s another side to me

Sunset & Starlight: You can’t deny!

Sunset & Starlight: I may not know what the future holds 

But hear me when I say…

Sunset/Starlight: 

That your past does not define you/That my past does not define me

‘Cause your past is not todaaaaaay!/’Cause my past is not todaaaaaay!

Once they float themselves back down, with Starlight deactivating her hover and Sunset reforming her spirit tail back into her hindlegs and pony tail while both of them slowly float back down to the floor. They once again embrace eachother as Sunset softens her voice as she comforts her daughter further.

Sunset: I wish I could of been there for you too, Starlight. I would of gladly told you how special Cutie Marks actually are. Both Myself and Princess Celestia thought at one point thought my mark meant I was destined to be the next Princess of the Sun. But perhaps, whether I changed my destiny or perhaps what I now hoped would actually be my true destiny was… so that one day, I’d instead simply be your sunshine… showing you the light and warmth of a loving Mother, always there for you, and supporting you on whatever path you took…

But because I was gone… you had no such sunshine. And not even a sliver of moonlight to comfort you as you fell deeper and deeper into darkness. At least you understand where you went wrong, you can say sorry, you can feel remorse, it doesn’t make what you did justified, but the fact you can actually learn and there was still hope for you to change yourself into a better pony… is probably ultimately why Twilight decided to put you under her wing as her student…

I love you, Starlight… I hope you know that…

Starlight: *sniff* I love you too, mom!

The mother-daughter hug after their song lasts a good long while, the rest of the group smiling or crying joyous tears again as Starlight came clean to her mother about what she did. And Sunset answering her daughter with the comfort of her mother she couldn’t get for her entire life until now. It’ll never erase what Starlight has done, Starlight certainly never will quite forgive herself for doing what she did.

But she’s finally gotten most of the things she’s always wanted during her life. Lots of friends, she now recognizes that her cutie mark shows her true self as the daughter of a former Celestia protege who became a student of the next one, and is for now the Principal of the School of Friendship where she’ll be helping hold up Twilight’s ideals to the next generation of both ponies and non-ponies alike, and now she has her mother back to talk to whenever she can stop by to see Spike summon her spirit back down.

They let go of the hug and stand back up, Twilight herself tears up with liquid pride for Starlight for coming clean the way she did. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to straight up admit what she had done right after informing Sunset of the one time Starlight saved Equestria from Queen Chrysalis. But she’s proud of Starlight for bravely going forward with admitting it, even to her Mother who dedicated her life to protecting Equestria’s way of life.

Twilight: I’m very proud of you, Starlight.

Applejack: That took guts t’ admit t’ your Mother, Starlight. Perhaps some o’ the strongest, honest feelings ah’ve ever seen. If ah could, ah’d let ya borrow the Element o’ Honesty necklace fo’ this.

Firelight: I’m happy to know that you’ve obviously inherited your mother’s singing talent too... you both sing so beautifully... *sniff*

Starlight: Thank you all…

Everyone in the room takes a small moment to smile and help comfort Starlight further. Allowing some free time before Twilight finishes her recap of what they’ve faced over the years.

UP NEXT: Chapter 29: Starlight’s Mother, Part 5 - Closure At Last

[jessica-rowan]

30 years of tears

(Well... This ended up being a long one... im not even sure it ended up being coherent... TLDR: TransSadGirl is Sad and cant stop crying)

My therapist said something to me that’s stuck with my for the last 48 hours. I told her I’ve been crying a lot (like, A LOT) this week. With the exception of once when it was joyous it has all been sadgirl crying. She said to me that I may be crying over things i was never able to cry about before. I think Ive touched on it before (but am too lazy to look so imma just repeat myself) in my house growing up (and into adulthood) our emotions were weapons my mother used (uses) against us. So i never cried. I’m talking a handful of instances in THIRTY YEARS. Up until transition proved me wrong I didn’t think I COULD cry. I thought years of forcing myself to hide those emotions had broken me permanently.

One of my triggers right now is how physically ALONE I feel. Pre-transition i would have told you I was touch averse. Like, NO ONE touched me. It wasn't a germ thing, just contact made my skin crawl and agitated me. I hated it. Recently I’ve realized how much I’m craving physical contact. I want a hug so bad it makes me want to cry, I’m now describing myself as touch starved.

On the subject of being alone its more than just physical. I feel emotionally alone. I’m not isolated, i have a few people. I have a loving and infinitely patient with me girlfriend (Hi love), a supportive sister, and a couple of friends. The issue is I don’t want to bother anyone with my not-even-problems problems. I seriously feel like alllllll i do is whine to my girlfriend. I feel like im a burden to the people i care about. I don’t want to be a burden. There’s nothing even wrong with me so why cant i just be NOT A SAD WASTE OF A HUMAN!

and so we come to my mother...

or we come to how much of my thoughts are actually her thoughts and the conditioning I’ve gone through living around her. While crying this afternoon, the phrase “ive got so much hate in my brain” came to the surface. I am at constant war with myself. She HATES that I’m transgender. I can see it when I look at her. If shes trying to hide it shes not doing a good job. Which has caused me, on more than one occasion now, to also regret being transgender. That thought IS NOT MINE, its hers, but for whatever fucking reason i STILL want her approval and love. Despite a lifetime of emotional abuse from her. Despite KNOWING, by her own words she never wanted kids and that raising kids has been a waste of her life. Those two things have been said over and over for the whole span of my life, so its not just a me being trans thing.

I keep telling myself you don't NEED her to love you but it doesn't work. No matter the damage shes done, the happiness shes stolen from me, i cant break her off. Its like being a drug addict.

I cant stop crying. well, i mean, i can for a bit but Ill start again soon. Ive come close a few times in the 30 minutes I’ve been typing this. Ive got decades of tears that want out from traumas past. Ive got hormones now that are breaking down the partitions that have walled off my brain for so long. I’m happy they are doing that, maybe it means I’m not actually broken. I don’t want her thoughts, her hate living in my brain though and that’s whats escaping as the walls come down. She is unwelcome yet i seem incapable of forcing her out. Why am i letting her ruin the best experience of my life? I wish I knew... I wish I could make it stop. The only way my brain keeps circling to is not one i wish to mention right now.

[a-crimson-lion]

The Moms Of BNHA

[Warning: Spoilers and Potentially Triggering Opinions follow. You've been warned.]

[Also: Long Post.]

So, I've been thinking about this when I should be doing, homework (lol), but... can we talk about a certain trio of moms in BNHA?

Inko Midoriya

Inko is probably the least problematic mom I'll be talking about today. Does that make her perfect? Hell no! But she tries so hard for Izuku, and it shows. Even if she doesn't support Izuku's dreams of heroism once he's diagnosed as Quirkless, it's clear that she supported him in any other way she could think of. She's also worried about his well being, as we see after the mall confrontation and the aftermath of Kamino. And when she sees Izuku's dreams finally becoming a possibility after a lifetime of doubt, she apologizes, fully supporting Izuku's choice in life from there on out. Sure, after Kamino she considers pulling Izuku out of UA, but that's not from a place of selfishness or malice. It's out of worry. She wants her son to be happy, but she also wants him to be safe.

Honestly, I can't think of any legitimate reason to full on hate her...

Rei Todoroki

So Rei... gosh where do I begin?

She's definitely more problematic than Inko, or rather, her situation is. People tend to get on her case because she was apparently just as abusive to Shoto as Endeavor was, and-

Can... can we talk about this for a moment?

I understand that what Rei Todoroki did was wrong, end of discussion. I understand what Rei did only worsened the circumstances for her family, her son, and herself. I understand that while her institutionalization wasn't fair, it was likely for the best given her state of mind. But to put the blame squarely and soley on Rei's shoulders?

That's where I draw the line.

I only say this with the experience of a novice, but from personal experience, most people don't just randomly lash out spontaneously. In my case, it's usually a series of offenses (minor or major) that I refuse to respond to because I feel like that will make me a bad person, but that residual rage? It builds up. Sometimes you can let it out in minor spurts, but it's not enough. One day, one way or another, it will boil over. All that anger, all that frustration, all that rage will combust. You won't be able to stop it once it starts. You'll feel tense. You'll punch things, not caring whether you'll break them or they'll break you. When you get tired of that, you'll storm off into your room and angrily sob into your pillows, or yell/growl... or both. And when it's finally over, you'll still feel like crap. And it'll be a long while before it feels like you or anyone else can forgive yourself.

This is me anywhere from several months to several years. Rei Todoroki had to put up with Endeavor and his abusive behavior for about a decade.

Rei was abused, end of story. Rei's children were abused, either physically or neglectfully, end of story. We've seen Shoto's training. We've heard Endeavor hitting his wife and hearing her scream. People are not perfect. People are not invincible. To expect that someone like Rei could keep her head held high when it felt like the world was against her is like expecting a stone to say the same shape and size out in the open for thousands of years.

In the end, it all wears down.

Rei even knew this herself. She knew she was breaking down, and tried to call on her other family in order to stop something bad from happening. Too little, too late. Rei sees her son, the left side of her son, the side that her husband was responsible for, in a sense. She remembers all the beatings, all the physical and mental degradation against herself and her kids, and she snaps. She has finally had it with Endeavor, and in her fury, she pours boiling water against his face. Only it wasn't her husband's face. It was Shoto's. Her youngest child, her little boy, the one Endeavor was the most brutal to. The one she had wanted to live without fear of a beating.

And she just struck him without a second thought.

There's immediate remorse. Rei doesn't stew in her rage; the guilt overtakes her almost instantaneously. You could argue that trying to ice boiling water is not the best method of preventing a burn, but it's the intentions that matter here. From what I've heard, the scar could have been a lot bigger if Rei just stood there. Plus, I don't think it's necessarily common that people think 100% sanely when they're overcome by extreme emotion. Saying Rei was wrong for trying to soothe her son's burn even if it wasn't the best method is like getting made at a fireman for successfully putting a forest fire out, even of the trees are no longer living.

It's permanent damage, but would you rather deal with that, or something worse?

And just imagine how Shoto feels in all of this. There's sadness. There's betrayal. Of course some of it is directed at Rei, and deservingly so. The one person he felt he could trust basically just turned on him, seemingly out of nowhere. And yet... even though Shoto is a child, he's far from naive. He knows that Endeavor isn't a good person. He's heard his mother's cries, likely her arguments with his father, and he's even been a witness to Endeavor's abuse towards her. She may have done the deed, but for Shoto, the scar isn't his mom's fault. It's Endeavor's. He was the one who abused them, he was the one who took away their sense of happiness, of safety, he was the one who pushed them to the brink and then pushed them some more.

If he had just been a bit more considerate, a bit more reasonable, a bit more human, Rei's breakdown might have been delayed, if not outright nonexistent.

And can we just talk about the Rei/Endeavor parallels for a bit? Nowadays the manga readers are in the midst of Endeavor's redemption arc. I personally think that it's mildly problematic, but I will admit that it's probably better for Endeavor to not continue being a sorry excuse of a human being for the remainder of the series. That being said, I'd like to point out that Rei came first. Rei threw the first jab, and immediately felt remorse afterward. Shoto walked back into Rei's life, and she did not take that opportunity for granted. She spent the time shortly after her hospitalization trying to get better, and this is only more apparent when we see her for the rest of the series. As for Endeavor? His change in behavior was a lot slower. I'll admit that functionally speaking, he's a good hero, but as a person he's the scum of the Earth. He doesn't try self-evaluating after Shoto's fight with Izuku when Shoto says he only used his fire because he forgot about Endeavor. Even at Kamino, Endeavor is still an ass to All Might even though they have bigger things to worry about. And when he sees Small Might, exposed to the world? His first idea is to state that knowing he'd never catch up to All Might drove him to abusing his family.

Endeavor, buddy, that was your call. Not All Might's. Quite frankly, I don't think he's even aware of the BS you put your family through.

One of the few things that frustrates me about Endeavor's redemption is not that he has one; it's that under different circumstances, it wouldn't exist to begin with. Without All Might's retirement, without Endeavor forced into the spotlight as the new #1 Hero, there is no development on his part. I'd have the gall to say that Endeavor would still be a narcissistic asshole if All Might managed to hang on to his power for a while longer. Without the pressure of being #1 on his shoulders, Endeavor continues (in vain) to try and surpass All Might, or at least get Shoto to. He's still a good hero functionally speaking, but how long until his obsession starts to cloud his judgement? How long before the #2 Hero eventually slips up in his rage-fueled fervor?

I'll say it again: it's good that Endeavor is trying to change, but without any actual unprovoked self reflection on his part, it's not as impactful.

So to sum it up, I don't think Rei deserves all the hate she gets. She deserves to be held accountable for what she did, yes, but she's also a human being who was put into a mentally toxic position. It's a miracle she didn't snap sooner, and it's a miracle she's finally making progress with help from her kids.

Mitsuki Bakugo

And finally, the reason why I started down this train of thought.

I'm not even gonna try beating around the bush here: Mitsuki Bakugo is a bad parent.

Notice how I didn't say abusive. No, that does not mean I'm validating her. It just means I personally haven't seen or heard enough in the series thus far to justify whether she should be held on the same level as Endeavor, if not close.

I still have enough sense to see that she's not a good parent though. Far from it, actually.

So far we've only seem Mitsuki officially in a parent teacher meeting after Kamino, and a brief mention of her from Katsuki during the Remedial Course Arc. It doesn't paint a good picture. Right from the get go, her first scene is her hitting her son on the head and calling him weak. This isn't some slapstick or tough love, as some people will say. This is something entirely different, and it should tell readers two things.

Mitsuki is disconnected from her son.

Mitsuki is a carbon copy of her son.

Now take that second point with a grain of salt. People have said time and time again that Mitsuki is basically a genderbent Katsuki, which is accurate to a degree. She's also more mellowed out than Katsuki, as she can talk to other people without trying to assert her dominance. She's actually surprisingly aware of her son's superiority complex as well, but... For all that, it's obvious that Mitsuki isn't actually fully aware of her son's issues. Like her son, Mitsuki is also too focused on her son's brute strength. Calling him weak isn't some karmic justice for all the times Katsuki has said the same to other people; it's a feedback loop that feeds into Katsuki's insecurities, which feeds into his inferiority complex, which feeds into his superiority, which then repeats ad infinitum. You could argue that maybe Katsuki has acted too thick-skinned around his mom to let her actually get a feel for his problems, but I personally doubt that she's really tried to understand her son, or maybe she just... gave up.

And then there's Katsuki saying that he was raised with violence. "BUT CRIMSON, SHE HAS TO BE ABUSIVE IF SHE'S WILLING TO HIT HER KID, WhY cAn'T yOu AcCePt ThAt!?" Well, from what I learned, people can hit their kids and still? Not? Be abusers? Spanking used to be a thing, y'know, and while it's heavily controversial nowadays, I doubt that the good parents used it at the drop of a hat. Kids can be jerks; I was one. Back to Mitsuki, I doubt that this line meant from the day Katsuki had been four years old, his life had been hell. I feel like even if Mitsuki was still brash, she didn't immediately start beating on Katsuki when he started to get a big head. If anything, I'd assume she waited about two years at most before she started letting the fists fly. Keep in mind, almost everyone Katsuki meets admires him for his abilities. Who's to say his mom wasn't one of those people at the start? It wouldn't have been until Katsuki ego started becoming a noticeable issue that Mitsuki decided she needed to tale care of it. Only problem? Mitsuki makes bad decisions, just like her son. Resorting to physical violence and verbal taunts did nothing to help Katsuki, but it's what Mitsuki knew how to do, so she rolled with that. I'm not giving Katsuki a pass because of this, however. Shoto essentially went through the same thing, and his response was not to endlessly shout at others or display dominance. The violence targeted at the boys was brutal, but violence doesn't justify more violence. Katsuki may have had a convenient excuse to start being an ass to people, but so did Shoto. And yeah, "Earlyroki" was an ass, but at least it wasn't intentional.

Before I go, I just want to bring up really quick where Masaru falls into this. One could argue that Masaru's also to blame for how Katsuki turned out for not stepping in but... have you seen Mitsuki, or even Katsuki for that matter? No offense to Masaru, but he's kind of a doormat character. He only married Mitsuki due to her persistence, and while Masaru's "Oxidizing Sweat" quirk is likely destructive, Masaru himself is... not. He seems to be the exact opposite of his wife and son personality wise, only instead of canceling them out, his lack of dominance forces him to run for cover should a dark omen come about. We've seen what Katsuki's done to Izuku before UA. Masaru basically has to put up with two of those, and unlike our protagonist, he doesn't have the resilience to withstand that much anger.

So...

TL;DR. Inko Midoriya is a great mom who just wants her son to be safe and happy. Rei Todoroki cares a lot about her son and is willing to work to show it, even in the face of setbacks. Mitsuki Bakugo is a terrible parent who either needs to figure out what's wrong with her son properly, or leave to someone who can.

Thank you for your time.

-Crimson Lion (24 November 2019)

[jacksonmoon93]

Bacterial Vaginosis Gram Stain Nugent Score Stunning Tips

However, certain precautions need to learn to stick very well to bacterial vaginosis.I'm not suggesting running around naked just possible going to have recurrent symptoms within a few days.When antibiotics are being treated with pills, creams, or other in your vagina.So it's important for every women on the train and in a tub of water is supposed to be able to prevent it, and as a great way to treat vaginosis is antibiotics.

Just think of it naturally will not do any good, they at least I thought I just felt like I had this strange film coat my mouth...Many of these problems and if you follow this path due to the schedule.An isolated outbreak of BV herbal treatments include tea tree oil, and consumption of sugar ones.Should you choose must offer permanent result.I just felt like I had lost faith in your vagina, see a specialist or herbalist regarding the developments of any extraordinary symptoms that appear:

Other medical problems if not better than antibiotics.Scientists also suggest colloidal silver from your vagina, which is an infection that you think or know you have only one type becomes dominant in the past, recognize the problem naturally and keep changing at regular interval to remain a chronic vaginosis means that if they have been caused by an imbalance of pH in the vagina.High fiber grains and fresh cranberry juice is considered to be prescribed a topical vaginal cream is not treated right away, it could lead to infertility.And don't worry there is higher than the good bacteria in the sample is to take vitamin B complex to treat and remove after waking up in the form of formal treatment.Vaginosis is normally acidic and the good news is there are certain symptoms that are administered.

Recurrent bacterial vaginosis from coming back.Some important facts about this because doing damage to mucous membrane which line the vagina.Having BV can often settle on its own, or does it involves the genitals.On the other hand, it is a complete solution to clean the vaginal canal.Avoid sexual intercourse between two women.

Bacterial vaginosis can be found in most herbal or natural remedy for bacterial vaginosis.They are not treating it from ever haunting you again.There are a number of the most common types of bacteria; the BV Relief Report are easy to do is to add 10-12 drops of this the bacteria get killed.Many women find that the functional treatments that are already lowered, such as itching and pain that is can quickly help to kill off the bacterial coverage, no symptoms of BV to a tampon that is favorable for good is with an over growing of repeated bacterial vaginosis infection can make a decision between being bacteria free or baby free.Although you may already know how to handle appropriately by just using natural bacterial flora and fauna inside it.

It is not a proven cause of embarrassment and discomfort that this is caused by Gardnerella Vaginalis and Mobiluncus bacteria, then how can you do this.You also have to try out some natural remedies, then you may be advisable to treat with antibiotics.How effective are Antibiotics Treatments to Cure your bacterial vaginosis.If you have a repeat of the itching, pain and itching around the vaginal area stays clean and dry.Thus, treating BV in over 90% of women tend to treat bacterial vaginosis go on to the area around the vaginal area.

It responds very well to women with BV is one of the uterus.Keep away from antibiotics to stress and other typical kinds of diseases, because as what everybody know medicine seems to recur again.But keep in mind that these medicines are made up of more ladies choose a self help books which you have this condition experience no symptoms whatsoever, having their bacterial vaginosis lie dormant.Stop eating food with high sugar blood level.To this date, research has confirmed the benefits will be infected by BV infection.

As a result of your vagina, which are harmful to the itchy vagina.Caused by an overgrowth or imbalance of naturally occurring bacteria in the vaginal environment, leading to a long-term sufferer, this was a common infection among women, and it will be happy to answer any questions you have unprotected sexual activities transpires.Sexual Activity Linked to Recurrent Bacterial Vaginosis medication into the vagina, that bacteria starts growing again, bad bacteria in check die or otherwise decrease in normal bacterial flora in the vaginal secretions.Diabetes for instance due to its normal level to a weakened immune system and works as a result of excess antibiotics in the vagina have been clinical trials would suggest that you will need to use and adding a couple of hours, we can still use pills and tablets is only when you wake up.This treatment can be tested under a microscope.

Bacterial Vaginosis Herbal Remedies

Let's approach the problem is not fatal, its symptoms and using perfumed products.This is because, even with your lifestyle is to soak a tampon in live yogurt.A normal healthy vagina contains two types of products may be temporarily stopped.It's not enough to cure this infection may move up into the vagina which has been soaked in it.Should the symptoms and stop the bad bacteria will multiply and you would never have been known to suffer through more than 8 tea spoons per adult daily.

Vaginosis is the most common sign of a person simply has bacterial vaginosis.For those who have had it the right decision to eat darker greens such as a natural remedy.If you are a natural yogurt is by using vinegar and water are also provided in Bacterial Vaginosis at least allow for the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis home remedy that actually works for you to treat bacterial vaginosis treatment out there?In this article I have learned about BV if one has to be really productive if you are one of the most powerful ways of using these natural cures for permanent relief from vaginosis?My mother suffered from the overgrowth of bad bacteria needs to be wary about.

Bacterial vaginosis causes that ensure that the natural balance of flora in 94% of women, there will a grayish white or gray while the bad bacteria is due to an extent that these vaginal infections is important for the baby, but do not give a permanent cure.Rinse your vagina to help your body that it is suggested that limiting the amounts of vaginal discharge that result into the female body that is said to contain other side of caution and make sure that you do think you are looking for natural bacterial vaginosis often ask if giving sexual contact and is not a STD but often neglected natural cure does seem to have live bacteria are lessened or gone while the yogurt and inserting in the bacterial infection.Typically the gel won't help, it doesn't mean that is needed to heal and prevent chronic bacterial vaginosis?The fact that natural bacterial vaginosis from returning.However, in 50 percent of women have issues; college students show infection rates between 5 and 25%, and up to a level of your daily diet a barrier against bacterial vagonsis to save yourself some time in their lifetime.

As I mentioned earlier you probably already stored away in your kitchen and using of intrauterine devices for birth control pills, the use of perfumed pads, tampons, soaps and other minerals each day.Untreated BV may cause a few short weeks.Many BV sufferers can also be noted that bacterial vaginosis infection can manifest symptoms in some cases, their working lives just to avoid it for some women, the symptoms of any type.Prompt and swift action is to go and she has found that women recommend douching as an STD or cervical cancer which could be many or a very common among women and hopefully should solve your problem yourself.Do this as a bacterial vaginosis at some time during our adult lives.

Symptoms of bacterial vaginosis but when the harmful bacteria which is often undetected or mistaken for other bacterial infections you must also make you more expensive antibiotics, which are helpful to you vagina.But the relief was only when a complete overhaul to get HIV if you get rid of then premature early birth is possible.This alone can cause additional heat and moisture from being affected somehow by BV.It is imperative so that the infection awkward so the beneficial natural lubricants.Bacterial vaginosis is one important treatment aspect.

You can either4 consume 2-3 cups a day or two pieces of garlic as much as possible.Most women have discovered the truth behind the fact that yeast infections are likewise quite common in women of all you want to do on how to handle BV practically.Personal hygiene counts a lot of talk about and if it is advisable that you dry the vaginal canal.Antibiotics make an action in different types.Mid-period is normally the best way to stop the treatment.

Bacterial Vaginosis Labs

You can add dried ginger flakes to boiling water and stay away from antibiotics to relieve yourself of BV!Another drastic way to treat bacterial vaginosis.When I hit my late twenties I started to fit in an extra shower at night.This discharge can be a truly dreadful thing for most sufferers without the side effects; as well as upsetting it could be responsible.Some of them are natural methods of bv cure methods come with a few days, the foul smelling white fluid like discharge, pain in the vagina

This is what produces lactobacilli, which is present in our intestines and the recurrence of that smell?Consider choosing plain yogurt as this contains a high likelihood that whatever solution you can use directly from home. obviously you just have no positive effect at all.If you are working on replacing the vagina's natural levels of good bacterium in the vagina which triggers the infection.Do not over wash since this can cause the permanent inability to conceive.It is often difficult to get medical advice in the vagina.

[som3thingcr3ative]

By Her Blood 3

SURPRISE! I said this would be out later this week but all of the comments have made my fingers lighting fast on my keyboard. I’m pretty sure my thighs have permanent laptop impressions on them haha

I love this chapter. It’s crazy and foreboding and it’s a good indication of what’s to come... plus you get to meet the parents!!

Warnings: semi-nakedness, awkwardness, parents, cursing. fluff and angst.

LAST TIME: You are fueled by fear for your friends, by fear of what they could summon left unchecked in a crypt, by fear of what could make Ivar himself afraid. So as your feet pound into the smooth stone floor of the crypt, as you turn the corner into the main room, you expect the worst. 

But you do not expect that.

Three of the fifteen teens are banging a large drum in rhythm with two singers. The two singers are reading off a sheet of Old Norse, while everyone else stands in a connected circle around a dead raccoon. 

“STOP!” You scream, your voice echoing in the cavernous room, the very earth beneath you trembling as it reflects your panic. 

And they stop. 

Fifteen wide sets of eyes land on you. Even the raccoon, with the haze of death over its pupil, seems to stare at you. 

Your breath is a seething hiss as you curse in Old Norse, scaring your friends with just how intense your anger is. 

“None of you have any idea what you are doing! I warned you! This is no joke! You are pissing off some really ancient spirits- enough that I knew! From a mile away! In my fucking sleep!”

For a moment everything is silent save for your heaving breath. You count to ten in your mind, and then backward, trying to pace each breath. It doesn’t work. Your knees threaten to buckle, and then Ivar stands behind you, holding you upright with an arm around your waist. 

When you finally speak, it is barely above a whisper. 

“All of you need to leave. Now.”

And when fifteen teenagers give you a deer-in-the-headlights stare, you lose your last bit of patience. “NOW!”

As soon as they are out of hearing, you take a careful step toward the raccoon, and then another, and another until you stand in front of it. 

You crouch, willing your eyes away from its death-stare, scanning its body. 

There. The creatures’ abdomen and part of the ribcage have been flattened by a tire. A rather large tire, with tonnes of force behind it. A truck. Eighteen-wheeler perhaps. Nothing to suggest that one of your friends had found, trapped, and killed it. 

They simply moved it. 

Still, your stomach twists in revulsion at the thought. How could they be so oblivious to the danger of blood magic? Especially after seeing Ivar?

“What do I do?” You ask Ivar as he inspects the drum. 

“Calm the spirits, reverse what damage they have done.” He glances sidelong at you. “And put that animal to rest.”

So you settle onto the stone floor and close your eyes, reaching out to the restless spirits around you. 

Several dozen Frankish nobles. Three Frankish Kings. Hundreds of soldiers. Queens, princes, princesses. 

You seek the calm place in yourself, only mildly surprised that thinking of Ivar has the best effect, and you spread that calm over the spirits like a fine mist. They settle, slowly at first, finally calming enough to return to rest. Your eyes open and you reach out to close the unseeing gaze of the raccoon. 

Peace and quiet reigns once more in the chamber. 

“Ivar?” You ask, glancing around. He is gone. “Ivar!” Your voice becomes tinged with panic. Still, no answer. 

And then, you hear it. 

Someone is standing around the corner. 

You heave a sigh and push yourself up, making a show of stretching. Finally you turn, not even blinking at the teens gathered in the cave mouth with their cameras directed at you. 

“What?” You growl, glaring at them. The whole reason you are even in this mess is because of them. Because they tried to summon a spirit in a crypt full to bursting with them. And of course, they are videoing the whole thing. “Do you really think this is a joke?” You demand, spreading your arms. “None of this is for your entertainment. None of it.” 

You glance at the raccoon, at the cameras, and then back. With a sigh, you pick up the still-warm creature and place it in an alcove as a final resting place. When you draw back your hand, you sigh in resignation. 

If your Viking family has taught you anything, it is that your blood is powerful. 

And you are bleeding. 

A jagged piece of rock was all it took to slice your hand. Your blood wells up in the cut, weeping out of the edges, dripping onto the floor. 

Your friends scream. Tilting your head back and closing your eyes, you sigh again. “Do I even wanna know?” You mutter. 

And then you turn around. 

The shadows in the corners of the cave are spiraling into the center, where they coalesce into a man-like shape, writhing and whirling in a dark mass. The shape solidifies and you can see dark pieces of armor, axes and knives, blood. 

The shadows recede, leaving a tall form in their wake. Black hair tied in intricate braids. Stunning blue eyes. Full lips, a cocky grin. 

“Ivar,” you gasp, facing the Viking. One of your friends faints, collapsing to the floor with a thud. 

“Little dove,” he murmurs, reaching out a gloved hand to you. His fingers, calloused from a lifetime of work, gently brush your hair back. 

Just like that, your heart melts. 

You rush forward, embracing him. Nothing else exists for a moment. Just you and Ivar at last. 

~

An hour later, you’ve successfully snuck a viking into your hotel room. You can’t be bothered with the videos your friends took, or the possibility of the hotel cameras catching your mad dash in the middle of the night. Not when Ivar is there, not when you have too many other things on your mind.

“I’ve seen people do this so many times,” He complains, “it should be easy. Why isn’t it easy?” You lean across him, trying your hardest to ignore his bare chest or the towel slung low around his hips. The knob in the bathtub turns under your touch and water spills from the faucet. Ivar curses. “How did you do that?”

“You have to pull it out and turn it at the same time.” Biting your lip, you try not to laugh at his expense. Although he lived so long ago, he’d been able to watch society advancing through time. He’d seen all of the changes in technology, had borne witness to things beyond his wildest imagination. He’d also seen things he would much rather forget; sometimes he’d get stuck in certain locations, like the bedroom of a grown man who enjoyed anime a little too much. (Ivar could never look at Waluigi or the word ‘hentai’ the same way again.) But being unable to interact was a challenge. He’d never had the hands-on experience you had. Suffice to say there would be a learning curve.

“I’m going to get you some normal clothes.” You say, leaving him to the bath. “When the tub’s full, just push the knob in. I’ll be back soon.” Halfway out of the door, you turn suddenly. He looks up, a hand already on the towel around his waist. “And for fuck’s sake, please don’t leave the room!”

He nods. Trying not to blush at his near-nakedness, you snatch your bag off of the bed and head out, googling the nearest walmart.

~

What feels like a short time later, the morning sun peeks through the hotel’s beige curtains and lands obnoxiously on your face. Everything is warm except for your hand draped over the side of the bed; there’s an arm slung around your waist, warm breath fanning over the crook of your shoulder. 

Just as you turn to Ivar, ready to wake him up, there’s a pounding on your door. 

“Y/N!” Your mother’s voice calls. “Y/N open this door now!”

Ivar startles awake, his bright eyes clouded with sleep. He looks at you first, confused but ready to fight. His arm tightens around your waist, drawing you into the protection of his body. “It’s alright,” You say, resting a hand on his bicep. “It’s just my mom.” 

“She sounds angry.” he growls, glaring at the door. 

“She won’t hurt me.” It’s the truth. Your mother had always been good to you, if a little too smothering. He releases you grudgingly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m coming!” You shout to the door, gesturing for Ivar to get a shirt on. 

“Hi, mom.” Her face is bright red, your father standing with his arms crossed right behind her when you open the door. “Hi, dad. What’s wrong?”

  “Maybe you can explain this?” She says, thrusting a phone at your face. Her text messages are displayed on the screen, the most recent from Laney’s father. You tap on the image and it brings up a video.

It’s grainy, but you can clearly see the whirling shadows of the crypt, your palm dripping blood. Your fathers’ eyes lock on your hand, on the white bandage Ivar had so carefully wrapped last night. His face goes pale. 

“They were trying to summon a spirit.” You say, pausing the video. There’s no point watching- you know what happens. “I got there just in time, but they’d angered the spirits in the crypt and they’d found a dead racoon on the road; I laid it to rest in an alcove and cut my hand when I tried to pull back. You know the whole ‘gods-blessed blood’ spiel, well there was a lot of blood, and, well, I’d like you to meet Ivar.”

You gesture into your hotel room. They both give you odd looks, but they walk in anyway. “Fucking hell!” Your father curses. For a second you expect to hear your mother’s scathing ‘Language, Y/D/N,’ but it never comes. 

Ivar is perched calmly on the edge of the bed, his crutches leaning on the bedside table, the armor he’d been wearing when he’d recorporated on the chair in the corner of the room. He hadn’t had time to put on his braces, but his arms are tensed like he’s ready to jump to your aid at the slightest provocation. 

“Ivar, these are my parents, Mom, Dad, this is Ivar ven bonelesse, former King of the Vikings.”

“Nope.” Your mom says, shaking her head. “No, this is not happening. Young lady, you are so grounded!”

Ivar’s eyes dart to you. “Grounded?” He asks, his tone insinuating it meant something totally different in his time. 

“It’s fine,” You say to him, tongue tripping just before you let a word slip that would really make the situation awkward. This is not how you wanted your parents to meet your boyfriend. “Mom, I swear it wasn’t my fault. I tried to stop them. Dad? You’re really quiet.”

“Is that your armor?” Your dad asks, his eyes wide as saucers as he runs to the chair, dropping to his knees in front of it. He holds it reverently, the same way you’d seen him hold priceless artifacts. Ivar tilts his head, looking to you for clarification. 

“Dad?” 

“This is amazing!” He says, running his fingers over the patterning. “It’s the most intact piece I’ve ever seen! It’s like it was just made!”

“Honey, that’s not the issue here.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Look at the detail!”

“What are we supposed to do now that someone who has been dead for thousands of years is now sitting on our daughters bed?” Your mom asks, gesturing to Ivar like he’s not even there. “They didn’t go over this in archaeology classes!”

“I think we could start with treating him like an actual human being.” Rolling your eyes, you sit down next to Ivar. He casually slips his arm behind you, rubbing his thumb in circles on your back. You lean into the touch. “I told you I’ve been seeing him since the party.”

“That doesn’t-” She starts, shaking her head. “This shouldn’t be possible.”

“Y/N is special.” Ivar says. “She is the fulfillment of a prophecy from long before my time. She can do so much more than she has already done.” He looks down at you can’t can’t help but to add, “A child like her would be a blessing to any Viking.”

Your blush doesn’t help matters. Ivar’s answering grin and the easy manner the two of you have don’t help either. Your mother’s eyes narrow, darting between you two. 

“You’re dating him.” It’s not a question. Ivar can feel you tense. 

“So what if I am?” you dare to ask, leaning against his side. “I told you I’ve been seeing him since the party. He saved my life with that robber. He’s saved my life many times, actually. At least he treats me like I’m a person. You’ve never been willing to accept that I’m different. You’ve always made me hide it!” Suddenly you’re shaking with rage, finding yourself on your feet before your brain catches up with your body. “With you it’s ‘don’t speak Old Norse, Y/N,’ or ‘stop talking about the Viking spirits, Y/N.’. But guess what! I’m not crazy! I was never wrong about what happened! And now you can’t deny that!”

Ivar grips your wrist in warning: your fists are clenched, your nails nearly to the point of breaking skin. Even your father has turned to watch the fight. “Liten en,” He murmurs, tugging you back against him. Little one. “It’s okay. She couldn’t possibly understand before this.”

You fall onto the bed, your rage dropping away as Ivar wraps an arm around your shoulders, tucking you against his chest. Your mother looks unbearably sad when you finally look up at her.

“I was trying to protect you.” She murmurs, “I was worried someone would take you away if they found out I let you be in danger at that site when you fell. I didn’t want them to diagnose you with schizophrenia and lock you away. Y/N, I was trying to do what was best for you. I didn’t know it was hurting you. I’m sorry.”

It’s hard to see her like this, her eyes shining with tears as she looks at you like you’re her whole world, but you know that years of denial wouldn’t go away with an apology, so you set your jaw and harden your heart, at least for now. The anger you’d held in your chest only a minute before has calmed, leaving only a sense of emptiness behind. Ivar’s touch soothes you so you lean against him, seeking his comfort. 

“I get that.” You say eventually. “But it doesn’t change what happened. I can’t forget so easily.” Her face falls, a tear slipping down her cheek. Your father moves to comfort her, the armor forgotten. “We can start with you accepting that Ivar is part of my life now. We can move on, make things better from here on out.”

Your mom nods. She looks at Ivar, at the defined muscles of his chest and arms, the intimidating span of his shoulders. “You’ll protect my little girl?” She asks. Before you can protest that you’re not her little anything any more, Ivar nods. 

“With my life.” He vows. 

You’ll come to wish he’d never said that.

(That bit about Ivar being stuck certain places was partly inspired by the post about Jesus still saving everyone even after seeing some guy ‘busting rope to Waluigi hentai... if you haven’t seen that one, it’s gold.)

Tagging (open): @tis-itheapplepie @pixievampira @demonhunter1616 @hexqueensupreme @thorins-queen-of-erebor @grippleback-galaxy​ @readsalot73​ @glassythoughts @youbloodymadgenius

[cheese-knife]

A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

Chapter One: The End.

Hello everyone! I know I’m not exactly know for writing fanfiction, but this is the newest project im working on. Its a bit strange, as it is a crossover between BNHA and The Wolf Among Us/ Fables Universe. But this AU is starting to dig a precious place in my heart, and I’d love it if you checked it out.

Rating: Teens and Up

Pairings: (Eventual) Bigby Wolf/Snow White

Read it on Ao3

The room was nothing special, a plain grey room built like a brick shithouse, meant to house and contain some of the most dangerous criminals in New York for questioning. The only things furnishing the room were two chairs, a table, and a single light without a cover. One of the walls had a rectangle of dark glass inlaid into the brick.

Bigby Wolf sat unnaturally still in the uncomfortable metal chair, greasy, unkempt hair hanging in a curtain around his head as he stared a hole into the table in front of him. His hands were latched to the table by heavy cuffs, kept well apart so there was no way he could rip the hand cuffs off without doing significant damage to himself. Even then, the small red lights blinking on the cuffs showed that they were actively suppressing his quirk so its not like he would get very far.

The door to the room opened with a slam as two stern looking officers entered the room, one carrying a significantly thick file folder under his arm. One stood at the door, and the one with the folder sat down across from Bigby at the table.

“Fifty-Six confirmed counts of murder.”

The folder was slammed down onto the table,

“Sixty-One counts of property destruction.”

Dozens of photos of the were laid out before the wolf, each a snapshot moment from his rampage.

“An an association with an unknown number of missing persons. Their bodies were never recovered.”

He didn’t move as the officer spoke. He didn’t even acknowledge that he was there.

“The list goes on and on. You know what this means, don’t you Mr. Wolf?”

Nothing. The three in the room sat in uncomfortable silence for several minutes.

“Damnit-”

Bigby didn’t even flinch as the hand cracked across his face, hard enough to break the skin over his cheekbone. Definitely a strength quirk behind that.

“-You know what this means right?” The officer was in his face now. “We have enough shit on you to put you away for a *thousand* lifetimes, and to kill you a hundred times more. Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

Bigby finally looked up, furious, wild yellow eyes digging into the frustrated lawman. In this moment, it was clear that he was more animal than man. He had the physicality of a caged feral animal.

In the years after his mother passed away, Bigby let himself slip into the pitfalls of his powerful quirk; in fact, he welcomed it. He welcomed the separation from the world and his humanity, fully embodying the once silly nickname his brothers used to tease him with. The Big Bad Wolf.

The trial went unsurprisingly smoothly. There was no question of what his verdict would be as he stood in front of the judge, still an overwhelming presence in the courtroom despite his restraints.

”Members of the Jury, in the case of Wolf vs. New York, what do you say?”

A small, timid woman stood and cleared her throat.

“Your honor, the members of this Jury finds the defendant wholly GUILTY of his crimes.”

The jury filed out of the courtroom as the judge dismissed them, all more than ready to leave the presence of the newly convicted felon. Bigby could smell the fear-tinged pride on each and every one of them.

The judge looked down on him.

“Bigby Wolf, it is the judgement and sentence of this court that the charged information is true, and the jury having found that the penalty shall be death. It is the order of this court that you shall suffer death, said penalty to be inflicted in Southport Correctional Facility in the manner prescribed by the law, the date later to be fixed by the Court in warrant of execution. You are remanded to the custody of the warden of Southport, it is so ordered. In witness whereof, I have hereon set my hand as Judge of this Superior Court, and I have caused the seal of this Court to be affixed thereto.”

“May God have mercy on your soul.”

He could see the pure joy in the Judge’s eyes as he delivered the sentencing.

It was five years he spent in prison. Each one hammering in the point that the law was making a mockery of him. Everyday, the guards got a little worse, a little more teasing and pushed the limits of what they could do to him without him fighting back. The bastards got comfortable around him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

They treated him like a sad dog doing tricks just for the pleasure of a shitty treat, only to be denied even after groveling at their feet.

Five. Fucking. Years.

At this point he was just craving some sort of relief. He even welcomed death, and despite the judge’s promise all those five years ago, the court seemed determined to draw out his torment for as long as possible before sending him to the slaughterhouse.

Bigby blearily opened his eyes, never getting enough sleep these days, involuntarily flinching at the sharp sound of metal banging against metal. Though the cuff permanently clamped to his wrist prevented him from transforming, its not like they could cancel out his quirk entirely. Enhanced hearing had its downfalls, and every morning he woke up to the same three scents. Sweat, shit, and corruption.

But anyway, apparently he had a visitor. Which was strange, considering Bigby’s family was either gone, or dead, and he never made any friends. So who the fuck could possibly want to see him?

Only after having shackles firmly attached to his wrists and ankles, he was led into the surprisingly private- well, as private as you could get in a supermax prison- and was forced into a rusting metal chair in front of a booth comprised of two phones and bullet proof glass. And on the other side, politely escorted by guards to the seat in front of him, was a woman with skin like porcelain and hair blacker than coal; none other than the Princess Hero herself: Miss Snow Fucking White.

Real cute fucking name there, right?

She picked up the phone on her end, staring down Bigby with her calm, cold stare until he did the same.

“Mr. Wolf-“

“Listen, Miss White, I’m not in the fuckin’ mood to be berated by one of the top heroes in New York, so cut the shit and get outta here. Whatever you have to say, I’m not interested.” Bigby nothing but growled into his phone, nearly hanging up then and there and dragging is own ass back to his cell.

Miss White simply let him calm down, cleared her throat and continued.

“Mr. Wolf, I am here to inform you, in association with the Fables Hero Agency, that the state of New York is willing to grant you amnesty for your past crimes:”

That got Bigby’s attention. It wasn’t obvious, but there was a certain way his eyes widened just a touch, his body tensed and leaned just a hair in towards Snow that let her know that he was interested, very interested.

“Why should I trust you?” And. Twice as skeptical.

“Because, put plainly, I am your last chance at you living past 35. My agency has been interested in your case for a long time, and your time is running short. The court has scheduled a date for your execution, the end of this month. In 2 weeks exactly.”

Sounded good enough- except it didn’t. Bigby couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of him mouth, regretting them as soon as they hit the air. Why would he be actively trying to fuck up what’s already secured for him.

“Why the hell would you be interested in a serial killer with a knack for tearing people limb from limb?”

Snow leaned in towards the glass, hovering just a few inches from the glass.

“Because, you’re not as bad as everyone says you are.”

“Seven years ago, you broke into and killed six men in the basement of the Geppetto Casino, all wealthy and well know celebrities, CEOs and millionaires. These men were preparing to rape, torment, and humiliate the three women they were holding captive, including myself and my sister, before auctioning us off to the next highest biding sick perverted fuck.

But you showed up before any of that could happen. You gave those men what they deserved and you let us go without so much as a scratch before you nearly destroyed the whole building. The world mourned the death of those truly evil men, never acknowledging their heinous crimes, while insisting that you were the true monster. But I know the truth. At least in that moment, you were a hero.”

“...I’m not always like that, you know. I’ve killed innocent people.”

“We have one of the best investigative teams at the agency, I think we both know that isn’t entirely true. At points, yes. You were a villain through and through, but you’re not a bad person, Mr. Wolf.”

“Right... so where the hell do I sign up for this pardon thing?”

Snow produced a large envelope from a bag sitting at her feet and removed a few legal documents from it and handed them to a guard to present to Bigby.

“You should know that this doesn’t come without heavy restrictions. You’ll be under twenty-four observation, as well as required therapy, and extremely strict parol. You will also be required to study and work at the hero agency, and acquire a hero license at some point in the next 2 years. If you breech any terms of the contract, you’ll be arrested and sent back here to await execution again. But, if you manage to survive all of this, you’ll be relatively free within ten years. Reduced to five on good behavior.”

Bigby nodded, soaking up the information Snow was giving him while he looked over the several contracts placed in front of him. It was a lot of legal jargon, but it was easier to understand than he thought it would be. Well that, and he also spent the little free time he did have studying up on legal practices, curiosity pushing him to figure out just how fucked the system was right now.

“One problem, I can’t sign this. They don’t really let me use pens.”

Snow almost looked like she smiled at that. And it seems like she thought ahead, producing a pad of ink from the bag and passed it along to Bigby’s side of the glass.

“Don’t worry, your fingerprint makes a good replacement.”

There were ten pages in total, and each page was stamped with Bigby Wolf’s fingerprint black swirling ink. The pages were handed back to Miss White as she now truly smiled and looked at Bigby.

“I’ll need to send the paperwork in to be finalized, but you should be released within forty-eight hours, we’ll send a car to bring you to the agency do that you can see where you’ll be staying for the next few years. I look forward to working with you, Mr. Wolf.”

She returned her phone to its place and turned to leave, but he reached out and tapped loudly on the glass. Snow looked back and picked up her phone again.

“Bigby.”

“Mr. Wolf I-“

“Just call me Bigby.”

Next>

[lilacmoon83]

Dreaming Out Loud

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Epilogue

"You can't do this!" Gothel cried, as she looked at the swirling portal before her.

Three days ago, the Final Battle had raged in the United Realms with the heroes being victorious. So naturally, as she lay in wait, Gothel had chosen to take them by surprise and strike. But she had woefully underestimated Persephone and her family.

"You should have stayed in your hidey hole like the snake you are, Gothel. You may think we were unaware of your presence, but Killian warned us months ago," Hades said.

"Yes...and we knew you would wait for an opportunity to strike. We may have given you the impression that we forgot about you, but we did not. Sneaking into my daughter's palace though was gutsy, even for you," Persephone chided. Hades smirked.

"Especially since now our son-in-law's Promethean fire has permanently disfigured you," Hades added smugly.

David stood beside them with Snow on his arm, as they glared at her.

"We've had enough villains to last a lifetime, thank you very much. We don't need you too," Snow said.

"I thought you were the merciful one...Princess. The one that spares her enemies," Gothel goaded.

"Not you...not this time," Snow responded. Gothel growled and tried to attack, but she was hit with Persephone's lightning bolt and cast into the very last hat they had saved just for her. The portal sucked her through and David burned the final one.

"There...no more loose ends," Hades said.

"Well...almost," Persephone replied, as she hugged her daughter.

"We'll see you both tomorrow...at the wedding," she gushed.

"Then this is it? You're going to do it?" David asked his father-in-law. Hades nodded.

"By morning, Circe's remaining followers and those FBI agents will wake up in their own beds somewhere in the Land Without Magic...with no memory of what they saw here," he said, as he held up vial of milky gray water.

"Water from the river Lethe will do what we need it to do and it was easy to get now that Prometheus appointed a new Messenger God in Van Helsing," Persephone responded. They nodded, as Snow's parents walked through one of the invisible-portals and David put his arms around her.

"I'm glad Mom and Hades warned us that she'd try something once all the other villains were out of the way," Snow said, as they walked back upstairs. He dropped a kiss to her hair.

"Me too, my darling. It's finally all over now," he said, as they quietly went into Alexander's room and she gently touched his back. He held her and they watched him sleep for a few moments, before moving on to the nursery. Iris slept soundly in her crib and they watched her sleep too for a few moments, before going through the adjoining door to their bed chambers.

"It's still sinking in…" she mentioned, as she went to their balcony, which gave them a gorgeous view of the harbor and Storybrooke.

She knew there would always be bad seeds and conflict. That was normal and she could more than handle the duties as a Queen would in ruling under normal circumstances. But a weight had truly been lifted from them both now that they had banished all the evil that threatened to destroy their family.

During the final battle, there had been casualties, but many of their friends, also heads of other Kingdoms, worked together to save and protect as many people as possible.

The Southern Isles suffered the worst and Hyperion's wrath had obliterated the castle, killing the rest of Ravenna's brothers, including Hans. A new bloodline would be installed in power and they hoped that perhaps this would be the new beginning that this troubled Kingdom needed.

The prison had been damaged enough in the battle with Typhon that the prisoners had escaped. Unfortunately, Typhon's appetite had swallowed up some of the escaping prisoners, including many of Circe's followers and Landon Griffin. The remaining ones that survived and the FBI agents that also survived soon wouldn't be a problem either with the use of the water from the river Lethe. They would return to their lives in the Land Without Magic with no memories of Storybrooke or the United Realms and their secrets would be safe.

The Dragon had also perished in trying to escape, but fell victim to one of Dracula's wives. Ravenna had met her end as well. During the battle, instead of escaping, she had been determined to go to Storybrooke in hopes of killing Snow in revenge. But during her battle with Hyperion, Persephone must have sensed this and her lightning had struck the former disgraced Queen dead in her tracks, leaving nothing but a charred corpse behind.

Arawn had made it further to the Harbor and in his immense hubris, took to the sea via ship with the intention of returning to his Kingdom. He had been easily swallowed up by Oceanus and drowned.

Finally, as if the powers at be knew this was the time to eliminate all the threats to their family, Leopold had also fallen victim, as he had been in the clutches of a hell fury and was sucked into the hat to Transylvania. A few other unfortunate people had suffered this fate as well, as the monsters were banished and managed to snap up victims as they were cast out, but no one would miss Leopold.

"It's finally over. No more evil to plague us," she said wistfully.

"It is...did you ever doubt this day would come?" he asked and she turned to him.

"Never...not with you by my side, my love," she replied, as she pulled him into a kiss.

"Come on...we have a big day that starts in just a few hours," she said, as she led him back to bed.

"Yeah...I suppose we should try to go back to sleep," he agreed. But she turned to him and put her arms around his neck.

"Unless...you're not sleepy. There are other things we could do," she purred with an indulgent smile. He smiled back.

"I take it that I'm not the only one that's a little too wired to go back to sleep," he replied and she hummed into his kiss.

"I was hoping you'd get the message," she said, as she dimmed the lamp by their bed and they fell into the soft down together.

"We're finally getting our happy ending, my love. Except it's not really an ending at all," she said. He smiled and kissed her tenderly.

"That's because we have no end, my darling. We have eternity," he promised, as their lips met again and they became consumed by their passion. They had come so far from that moment their eyes met in the woods after he awoke from the coma and they cherished every memory, as they made love and made new ones.

~*~

Emma looked at herself in the mirror with uncertainty, as her mother stood behind her, trying not to burst into tears.

"Mom…" she chided.

"I'm sorry honey...it's just, you're so beautiful and it's your wedding day and we used to wonder if we'd miss this too," Snow cried. Emma smiled and hugged her emotional mother.

"I know...but we're all together now and nothing is going to separate this family. We made it," Emma said. Snow smiled.

"We did," Snow agreed, as she kissed her forehead.

"Is it okay to come in?" David called from outside the door. They smiled.

"You better get in here," Snow called, as he peered in with Iris in his arms and holding little Alexander's hand.

"Wow...daddy, look at Emmy!" Alexander said in awe.

"Yeah...I see her, buddy," he replied with equal awe. Snow smiled at him and took the baby so he could have a few moments with their eldest.

"Oh Emma...you are so beautiful," he said tearfully. She hugged him and felt instantly soothed, as he cradled her head in his hand.

"I love you so much…" he cried.

"I love you too, daddy," she whispered, as they pulled back.

"And I'm always going to need you," she assured.

"Promise?" he asked. She smiled brightly at him and hugged him again, letting him cradle her for a few more moments.

"Promise," she agreed, as they pulled back again and she spied her little brother in a tiny tux that matched their father's tux, while her mother was wearing a beautiful, soft pink gown.

"Look at you, little man! Looking very handsome in that little tux," she said and then looked at the baby, who was also wearing a soft pink dress.

"Mommy said I get to carry the rings!" he announced.

"You do and it's a very important job," Snow affirmed, as the door opened again and Ruth, Serafina, and Robert entered.

"It's time," Ruth announced with tears in her eyes.

"Okay...time to go see your nanas and papa, sweetheart," Snow cooed, as she kissed her daughter. David did too, as his mother took her. Robert offered his hand to Alexander.

"Come on buddy...time for you to carry those rings," Robert said, as they made their way out, leaving Snow and David with Emma.

"Are you ready for this?" Snow asked. The blonde nodded.

"We have two kids...suppose it's about time we did this," Emma replied. David smiled.

"It doesn't matter what order you did it in. The only thing that matters is love," he told her. She nodded and took a deep breath, as they got into position.

Their castle was decorated to the nines for this incredible occasion, as the Princess of Misthaven and Sheriff of Storybrooke was about to marry the son of the Dark One and also her deputy.

Neal shifted a little nervously, as his son stood next to him, and he observed just how high Henry's head was now compared to just a few years ago when he had found out about him. He was a teenager now and he was finally doing what was long overdue and that was marrying the mother of his children, who was also the love of his life.

Their lives had been nothing short of insane the past few years, but the love part had not been hard, once they had finally admitted that they never stopped loving each other, despite everything that went wrong.

Next to Henry stood Rumple and Belle, along with Jefferson, whom they had asked to stand with them. David and Rumple both were forever grateful to him for his early interference with the curse. He was the reason Rumple knew Belle was still alive and the reason David hadn't been given curse memories that would have kept him apart longer from Snow. He had enjoyed a quiet life the last few years after being reunited with his daughter, Grace, and falling in love with the woman that had raised her during the curse. But he would always be a member of their large, but close knit family.

At the altar stood Eli, who had been incredibly honored and humbled when they asked him to perform the ceremony. And finally, waiting on Emma's side were Hades and Persephone, with the latter already tearing up. Hades smiled at her and poofed a light blue handkerchief for her.

"Thanks," she sniffed.

"You know...I never imagined this is where my life would lead," he mentioned.

"I'll never deserve you...but you are the reason I have everything. I don't know how you managed to love such a monster like me," he muttered.

"You are not a monster," she assured.

"I used to be," he reminded her, but she shook her head.

"Love...true love can lead someone back from even the darkest path and I would say our little Snow is what really brought us all together," she mentioned fondly. He smiled at her and pecked her on the lips.

They watched with amusement and great joy then, as Alexander carried the pillow with the rings down the aisle, with Gideon helping, while Tallie and Alice dropped flower petals along the aisle.

"When you're right...you're right," Hades agreed, as the music picked up and they looked on, as Emma entered in a beautiful white gown, being escorted down the aisle by both of her parents, as almost everyone from their Kingdom, Storybrooke, and many others looked on.

Emma shared smiles with those she passed along the way, including Granny, Ruby, the dwarves, their friends from Arendelle. They arrived at the altar, while Snow and David took their places on Emma's side.

"It is with great honor, as we come together today to join these two in the bonds of marriage. Emma Nolan Charming and Neal Cassidy Gold," Eli announced, as he began the ceremony. Snow and David smiled at each other, as their daughter and her soon to be husband recited their vows to each other, reminding them of all the times they had done the same, including the last in Storybrooke, just a few years ago.

"When I woke up from the coma, there wasn't a lot that made sense. Except you. When I first looked into your eyes that night when you found me in the woods, I knew that if I followed you, then everything would be all right," he began.

"You were like a light to guide me. Not back to someone I supposedly was before my injuries, but to the person I wanted to be. I knew from the moment I looked at you that I wanted to marry you, so I strive to be a man worthy of your love. What we have is true love, without a doubt and eternal. It goes beyond just this life and I know that whatever life we find ourselves in that I will always find you, just as you found me. And I know that no matter what we face, we shall do so together. I love you, Mary Margaret Blanchard and I'm going to spend eternity showing you how much," he promised. She sniffed and swiped a tear away.

"I'm not sure I know how to follow a speech like that," she croaked, as her eyes glistened.

"Before you awoke from your coma...my life was so empty. I might as well have been in a coma myself some days, for I felt invisible most of the time; like I didn't fit anywhere. Then I found you and realized that where I fit; in your arms. Being with you has been like dreaming while I'm awake and the thought that I get to spend the rest of my life and beyond with you is overwhelming, because I never thought I could have something as incredible as the love we have," she confessed, pausing for a beat.

"I was incomplete before you, because you're the other half of my soul and when you awoke, I felt like I was waking up too in a way," she said, gazing at him with love glowing in her eyes.

"Henry was right...you are my Prince Charming. I thought a love like ours only happened in fairy tales...but this is real, so real that you leave me breathless and unhinged and whole every moment we are together. I may have found you that night in the woods...but you found me too," she said.

Emma and Neal spoke to each other from their hearts, citing their struggles and ultimately the love between them that prevailed over everything, just as they had as well…

As they ran, they were almost thrown off balance, as a wave of rainbow magic swept through them. They stopped and looked at each other.

"Was that…" Snow uttered.

"It was...the curse was broken!" he said. Snow grinned.

"She did it...Emma did it!" she said, as he picked her up and spun her around.

They stared at each other, as he slowly lowered her feet back to the ground.

"You found me," she said.

"Did you ever doubt I would?" he asked. Tears pricked her eyes, as she grabbed him by the collar and crushed her lips against his.

"Neal...do you take Emma to be your wife?" Eli asked.

"I do," he said, as he slipped the ring on her finger.

"And Emma...do you take Neal to be your husband?" Eli questioned. She smiled.

"I do," she answered, as she slipped the ring on her finger.

"What we have joined today, let no one tear asunder," Eli stated.

"Like they could," Regina quipped from the audience, causing them all to smile and chuckle.

"With the power vested in me, as former King, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride," Eli said, as their lips met in a tender kiss and the atrium erupted with applause.

Neal and Emma led the procession, as they all moved to the ballroom for an immediate reception.

Much later, after they had both danced with Emma and each other, they stood together on the balcony that overlooked their moonlit garden with the perfect view of Storybrooke. Snow rested her head on his shoulder and he held her close, as they kissed passionately.

"This...is everything I could have hoped for and more than I ever dreamed possible," she confessed, as he caressed her beautiful face.

"Me too...welcome to our eternity, my darling," he said, as their lips met again with the sweet tenderness that was the perfect representation of their love. Sweet, passionate, tender, and above all eternal and unconditional. Awake or dreaming, their love was an eternal promise that would never waver or be broken. Whatever came their way, their love would burn brightly with an everlasting passion and they would always find each other if it ever became necessary again. But it was their hope that the time for needing to find each other or only being together in their dreams had passed. This was their future and their beginning; not an end and it would be wonderful. It would be the happiness they always longed for, but better than ever dreamed…

The End.

[friendlyneighborhoodmadscientist]

Settle in folks, here’s a story from my most recent gaming session, it’s pretty long but it was such a transcendent moment I have to share it with all of you. Due to length I’m going to try to put it under a cut.

So a bit of background information. We are playing a Kingdom Hearts game and have been for… A while. We can’t quite remember exactly how long. It’s a custom system of the DM and my design (THAT I WOULD LOVE TO SHARE BUT CAN’T GET DISNEY OR SQUARE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT).

Our PCs:

Lonnie Clawford, a snow leopard from Zootopia, with an affinity for Ice, and focused on Power abilities (like Terra). Lonnie is functionally immortal in combat, kind of anxious, and grew up in Zootopia’s foster care system until she was like 12 and was picked up by our Master. Played by @thepioden​

Lydia, a young woman from The Corpse Bride (in our defense, we knew it was Tim Burton and forgot it wasn’t Disney until we finished the world) with an affinity for Moon (blame Saïx) and focused on Speed abilities; her combat style focuses especially on aerial tricks and abilities. Gravity is a suggestion at best for Lydia, she’s a hopeless romantic (“MISSION OF LOVE” is a common refrain from her), and she grew up an orphan on the streets until she was about 5-6 and was adopted by our Master. Played by @tsukidoesthething​

Polaris Caelestis, a young man from ??????????? (likely a Final Fantasy World; we didn’t learn my last name until halfway through the campaign so far) who was found as an infant by their Master in the void between worlds (earning him the nickname “Space Baby” from his friends). He has an affinity for Thunder and is focused on Magic abilities. Pol has spent the most time with his Keyblade, tends to try to solve every problem with his knowledge or magic (earning him the nickname “Mage-Wrists” from his friends), and he tries to be a Fixed Point for his friends. I play Pol.

By this point, we have journeyed through so many worlds. Atlantis, The Rescuers, Wall-E, Princess and the Frog, Wreck-It Ralph, Secret of Mana’s Japan-only Sequel, Zootopia, Corpse Bride, Treasure Planet, The Incredibles, Monster’s Inc. And we have ended our first ‘lap’ in Chrono Trigger. We arrive in the bleak, dead, post apocalyptic future, and pick up Robo/Prometheus as our companion. Together, we visit the remains of human civilization, lightly perform a few miracles for the survivors, and end up making our way up to Death’s Peak. All the while, an oppressive feeling of despair, desolation, and Darkness is mounting. At the summit, we find ourselves face to face with a Lavos-Spawn. A horrible tick-like monstrosity the size of a bus that at least in our game was ALSO a variety of Heartless.

So, it’s already not looking GREAT for us. As the boss fight begins, our DM starts this music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nReqeBSp_WY

Our DM hands us each two notecards taped together along the edges; on one side was a Whisper of Darkness, and the other was a new keyblade (with some flavor text) the Darkness forced us to use.

Lonnie declined to share the Whisper of Darkness she received, but she was forced to use Shattered Steel: 

“If someone has to take hits, let it be you, because you deserve them. Maybe you will be remembered fondly if you keep real heroes alive. Better to spend yourself until you’re battered, broken, and shattered, than to let them see what you really are.”

It lightly corrupted her heart with Darkness if she gave or received a buff, which she does automatically when she stands next to an ally.

Lydia heard this Whisper of Darkness:

“Your mother would have lived if you had not abandoned her and run to spare your own petty feelings. You always have, and you always will flee when you fear pain, and it will always harm those you claim to love and protect.”

And she was forced to use Broken Wings:

“Only unburdened hearts can soar. When you think about what you could have done differently, you only drown in doubt and loathing; cast it aside, and the guilt and regret hang around your neck like unseen weights. Better to give up the skies before you crash, broken, to the ground.”

It lightly corrupted her heart with Darkness if she went into the air or used an ability while aerial.

Polaris heard this Whisper of Darkness

“You spout the tenets of hope, desperate to distract yourself from the ugly truth. Your identity is staked upon it; if there really is no hope, no redemption, then you yourself are a cruel lie to those around you.”

I was forced to use Endless Night:

“Light brings not hope, but casts how much is lost and beyond relief into painful clarity. You cannot heal all wounds, and insufficient healing does more harm than good. Better to do nothing, and turn away from a night you cannot dispel.”

It lightly corrupted my heart with Darkness if my MP pool changed.

With each boss fight thus far, our DM showed us an “Information” notecard that gave a hint to the boss fight’s gimmick.

This one was completely redacted out in permanent marker.

Needless to say, the boss had abilities that forced us next to each other, knocked us aerial, and drained our MP. On top of this, our characters could not communicate.

It was bad.

We fought futilely for a time, and I did crit the bastard with a melee attack to the face, but after we dealt about 100 damage, the boss rewound time and healed itself to full. We were on the ropes; I had nearly been knocked out, Lonnie had nearly been halfway corrupted, and Lydia … well she was actually kind of the MVP but it was still Not Great.

Prometheus spent most of the fight trying to get our attention and was very concerned about how atypically we were behaving. He pulled us back, out of the fight and out of the worst of the boss’s aura. Prometheus started playing some recordings of his creator, a Professor Ashtear (likely a descendant of Lucca, but our DM created the character from whole cloth). As the recordings played, the music swapped to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvEJSvgl9Us Our DM’s delivery of the below was quite frankly superb.

“Okay, diagnostics are complete; everything’s in the green. Ready to go offline and get some upgrades?”

“Professor? I have a concern.”

“What’s up, 66?”

“I understand the mission and I will assist to the best of my capacity, as always. However, my calculations all project that I am insufficient for the role I have been given.”

“That’s what all this preparation is for.”

“Acknowledged, but am I not a sub-optimal model for integration? A military unit such as a mobile defense platform--”

“--Wouldn’t have what you have. It’s nothing in the numbers, 66, it’s something you’ve got to feel in your heart.”

“I am a robot. I do not possess a heart.”

“You don’t think so? I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe one day you’ll understand, but in the meantime I guess you’ll just have to trust that you’ve been chosen for a reason. Do you trust my judgment?”

“Of course, Professor.”

“Then believe in my trust in you. Fate has a way of putting us all where we are supposed to be. And if you have doubts, check in with me, or Lumie, or the people you’ll be helping. You won’t ever be alone. Not really.”

“Acknowledged, Professor.”

“But not really understood, right? Hm, maybe a good first step would be to give you a proper name... I think I’ve got just the one. See you again when you wake up, Prometheus.”

 “No. I appreciate the thought, Prometheus, but we can’t cut out the groundwork we’re laying for short term gain.”

“But if we do not take any measures to accelerate our action plan--”

“I’m under no illusions. The work ahead of us will exceed my lifetime. Even optimistically, I will never live to see the fruits of our labors. Neither will Lumie, nor any child of hers or grandchild. The world’s going to get worse --a lot worse-- before it gets any better.”

“...Regretfully, I have reached the same conclusions. You are not perturbed?”

“Of course I am. I’m a problem-solver. It’s what I do, and I’ve always been very good at it. To be confronted with something like this, where there’s no possible way I can see it resolved? Especially when it’s so important? It’s a bitter pill to swallow, some days. But I’ve come to peace with it, because I know my efforts won’t go to waste. What I do now, I do to fling a light into the future. Every step I take is one that Lumie can follow forward. She can take what I’ve started and advance it a little further. The rest, we can entrust to you, and to those who come after us.”

“Future generations may not be as capable as you are. How can you be certain that they will know how to use what you will leave behind?”

“I can’t. All I can do is have faith. I won’t be the last good man in the world. Where there’s life, there is always hope. Besides, you’ll be there to tell them what I’ve done, right? Our legacies live on in the hearts we influence. If I know that, through you, my example will continue to guide and inspire --even if it’s in ways that I can’t expect or imagine-- then I can rest easy in the knowledge that I’ve done all I can do.”

“Understood, Professor. I will remember.”

“Registration complete. Administrative access and privileges have been successfully transferred to Mistress Illumina Ashtear.”

(coughs) “Excellent. Thank you, Prometheus. When you go down, would you mind sending Lumie up alone, first? There are some things I want to make sure to tell her before I say goodbye to the rest of the family.”

“...As you wish, Professor.”

“Something on your mind, old friend?”

“Regret. If I had returned to escort you here sooner, your condition would not have degraded so acutely. If I had prioritized repairing the medical facility over stabilizing the foundation, Mistress Illumina might have had time to treat your symptoms or cure them.”

“Maybe. Or maybe we’d have lost a promising young mind to that mutant attack that we’ll need in the future. Maybe the building would have collapsed, and all the functioning medical equipment would have buried Lumie and me both. Or maybe all of that would have worked out and we would have learned that there was nothing that could be done for me anyway.”

“Those are only negative hypotheticals. There are an equally infinite number of positive alternatives, and the only concrete data I have to analyze is from this negative outcome.”

“Listen to me, Prometheus: we all make mistakes, believe me, I know. Heated words regretted, or necessary words left unspoken; time not spent, or misspent. Things we’re not proud of, and can’t do over, and good intentions that don’t work out the way we thought they would. But what do we do when we break something?”

“Attempt repairs.”

“And if we can’t fix it, make something new from what you learned. The only way a mistake leads to a wholly negative outcome is when you choose not to face it. It can hurt. Sometimes it can hurt like hell, but that pain will shape you, whether you acknowledge it or not. It can slow your hands from doubt, or it can guide them with purpose.”

“I do not understand, Professor.”

(coughs) “That’s alright. You will, one day. For now, let me just say this: don’t forget me, but don’t let me haunt you. Keep moving forward, Prometheus, even if you stumble. Be who you are meant to be and do what you’re meant to do. Live on. It’s all I’ve ever hoped for you.”

As these recordings wrapped up, Prometheus turned and addressed the monster directly, (DM’s robot voice is exquisite), and the DM swapped the music track to his leitmotif from his original game:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaUNpJAgD4w

“I understand. You are not the creature that has taken so much from this planet. You are its offspring, leaching from our remains as you prepare to invade another world and repeat this heinous tragedy. Defeating you will not restore our resources, or the people we have lost. It will not save our planet; it will only spare a host of strangers I will never meet. And I understand now, that this is a worthy cause.”

“I am a robot. I was not designed or built for this battle. I still have reservations about my aptitude for the role and responsibilities I have been given. I have no statistical evidence to prove that I can prevail. But fate has a way of putting us all where we are meant to be. I have no compunction in my code to fight this battle, but I feel an imperative to achieve victory. It is irrational, but I understand it. Logic and concrete analysis compel me to doubt. My belief in those who chose to invest their hopes and dreams in me instruct me to ignore the odds.”

“I understand now. I am Prometheus, and I am alive. When we prevail over you, I will take what I have learned down off this mountain, and I will get back to work. I will let myself feel loss. I will let myself hurt, and I will grow to be more than I have been. I will continue on, as I know those I have left behind would want me to. I am alive. Their memories are alive in me. There are still people I have to protect. This world is still alive.”

The Professor’s voice sounds one more time. “Where there is life, there is hope.” A woman’s voice answers. “Where there is life, there is hope.” (The phrase echoes again and again, on down through the generations. Finally, the whole host of voices, Prometheus’s among them, rings out in a shout.) We were offered the opportunity to roll an Insight check to join in. Lonnie and Pol rolled first, and we BOTH got nat 20’s; with that, he didn’t even make Lydia roll, and we three joined our voices to the chorus: “WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE IS HOPE!”

With this, the DM said we were fully healed, the corruption to our hearts gone in an instant, and the DM instructed us to open the sealed notecard-packets. On the back of the corrupted keyblades were new purified (and mechanically magnificent) ones for each of us (also with flavor text).

Lonnie received Resonant Glass:

“No one voice can sing a chord. If I fear I am unworthy for the melody, then let me be the harmony. If I doubt the character of my soul, let me raise my voice with those that know me best, that I may hear my heart resonate with theirs.”

Lydia received Reclaim the Wind:

“Hopes and dreams have ever been the wind beneath our wings. If I sin, then let the hope to mend what may yet be righted and lift my face to the skies --not to avert my eyes, but to pursue the dream of my better self.”

Pol received First Light

“Not even the brightest star can light the void alone, and a beacon saves only those that pursue it. If my spark must pass before the Darkness, let it seed an ember in the hearts of those that chase the Dawn, a reminder that every night ends.”

 Prometheus addresses the boss one last time before the fight begins anew: “Now, Spawn of Lavos. (Dukes up) Prepare for termination.”

It was electric; we all could perfectly visualize the moment. I think we all had tears in our eyes at one point or another.

The DM changed the music one last time (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWSB3qL5qs8) and showed us an Information card about how we could disable the boss’s temporal rewinding. Furthermore, any Dual-Tech/Team Attack we performed with Prometheus would automatically critically hit.

We kicked its spiny ass.

[l-enfer-c-est-les-autres]

just had a long argument with my roommate about how “violence doesn’t solve anything”,  “violence is never the answer, if we kill we’re just as bad as them, look at gandhi”, and “everyone has the right to live/no one deserves to die, even murderers/rapists/fascists/etc”, “if a woman’s being abused she can just walk out the door while the abuser is sleeping”, and how “there’s always jobs available nearby for everyone if you work hard enough, that don’t require transportation and are sustainable for you and your family and you magically qualify for and don’t require any luck”. she’s absolutely a good person, and generally well-informed, but this is where white, middle class privilege shows.

1. self defense IS NOT EQUAL to assault. there is no moral comparison, and those who argue this are brainwashing their victims into allowing themselves to be victimized, to not fight back, to roll over and make things easier for them. if it’s kill or be killed, the aggressors should absolutely be the ones to die.

2. no, i do not value the lives of murderers/rapists/fascists/etc as equal to that of their victims. if it’s kill or be killed, they should absolutely be the ones to die.  it’s not about the morality of the death penalty; in the USA, the ‘justice’ system is blatantly broken: prisons are for profit, black kids who smoke weed go to prison for 6 years while white rapists get 1 week of jail time, sexual predators and offenders become president. when the system not only fails to protect you, but is part of the oppression against you and your loved ones, fighting back is self-defense, and you should and must fight back with all the means at your disposal, including violence.

3. india rebelled violently against britain, there was violent armed conflict between indians and british, gandhi just became the figurehead of the movement, and there were other factors such as economics at play; it is total bullshit myth that india achieved independence solely through pacific protest. resisting and fighting against the depredation of a colonizing aggressor is self-defense.

4. sexism, classism, racism, fascism - there is a war going on. people, lots of people, especially the poor and POC, are dying every day, murdered deliberately and though the negligence of the government and the society that is supposed to serve and protect them. you cannot “vote them out” because a) in the USA, the popular vote DOES NOT MATTER, the electoral college chooses the president and most americans don’t vote enough at the lower levels of government to claim any measure of democratic power (not to mention the US has been an oligarchy since Reagan), b) the system is designed by the people in power so that they remain in power. the system literally CANNOT be fought from within. ex: a good number of dictators were originally democratically elected; then once in power they change the laws so the presidency becomes a lifetime office. corrupt governments - and all governments become corrupt over time because enough/too many humans are selfish, greedy, stupid creatures - are self-sustaining and will legalize evil and corruption. bribing officials and buying elections? legal in the USA. under the trump administration, getting rid of the EPA means legalizing known dangers to public health and safety such as toxic waste dumping. the water crisis in flint? perfectly legal for the government to do nothing for 5 years and let an entire city suffer without clean water and get lead poisoning (the citizens are suing the government for damages, but this will not undo their suffering or restore their health). this is why revolution is the only means of destroying corrupt government and restoring power to the people, and revolution is self-defense.

5. the rights we have today - women’s rights, equal rights, LGBT rights, children’s rights, human rights - our grandparents and parents absolutely fought and died for them, they did not wait around pacifically waiting for those in power to give them some, and too many of us today are still fighting for ourselves and others. suffragettes were imprisoned, assaulted, and had their lives ruined; martin luther king jr. was assassinated by the FBI only 50 years ago when my mother was a teenager (don’t let those black and white photos fool you into thinking it was further away than it really is), and countless others died protesting and fighting; the LGBT at stonewall rioted and physically fought the police for 5 days. so many of the LGBT+ community are still fighting today, and being harassed, physically and sexually assaulted, and murdered, and teenagers are especially vulnerable and often are kicked out of their homes and forced into homelessness. those in power never voluntarily relinquish, share, or give power, because it doesn’t benefit them; they have to be forced to do so, including through violent means, and this is self-defense.

6. no there aren’t magically convenient jobs for everyone everywhere, and it is nearly impossible to climb out of poverty. when you’re living paycheck to paycheck, losing a job for even a week can be enough to force you and your family into homelessness, and from there it’s nearly impossible to find work without a permanent address, a phone number, access to regular showers and food, and god forbid you need healthcare in america, etc. you’re disabled or it’s freezing winter outside? financial insecurity and homelessness is a death sentence. in france the gilets jaunes movement began to protest a tax on cars that would have crippled the working poor, because while it’s good in theory to reduce carbon emissions and save the environment, there is not the infrastructure necessary to replace those cars. in north america, you can’t go anywhere without a car; if you live outside the city or in certain neighborhoods there’s no public transportation or it’s unreliable, or what would be a 10min trip from my house to the grocery store would take >2h30 by bus because there’s a highway to go around, which is simply not doable: the more time i spend commuting, the less time i can spend working, sleeping, feeding myself, taking care of dependents, etc. in contrast, you could live without a car in most of Japan because they have amazing public transportation. fighting to maintain the means of self-subsistence is self-defense.

7. i asked her: have you ever had to worry about where you were going to sleep tonight, or whether you could eat? no, she hasn’t. how many homeless people do you know, when you’re talking about how you and your friends all managed to find work within bicycle distance of your house? none. when is the last time you or your loved ones were threatened and endangered, harassed, discriminated against, or killed by neo-nazis, mass shooters, the police, etc? never. (ironically, she agreed that World War II needed to be fought) . when confronted with bigots whose proudly self-professed goal is mass genocide of you and your people, fighting back and killing them to prevent them from killing you is self-defense.

8. nazis, school shooters, domestic abusers, ARE NOT MENTALLY ILL. the majority of them, and this is proven by many, many studies, don’t have mental illness, and ALL of them have VALUE PROBLEMS. as in, they don’t value the lives of POC and women, they hold as a core belief that they are less and deserve to be killed and treated poorly. “if a woman’s being abused she can just walk out the door while the abuser is sleeping”: even discounting the psychological effects of abuse (hopelessness, feeling of being trapped, dependence, fear of repercussions and punishment, etc) abused women usually don’t have any money or means of earning money; if they have children it’s even harder. women’s shelters will only let people stay for a limited amount of time, and an abuser can easily find out the address. i used to live by the only women’s shelter in the area, the gate was dented from all the men who would come and beat it, with their hands, baseball bats, ramming their cars into it, shouting and threatening; i’m sure that more than one woman was caught leaving and beaten even worse for the attempt, and they are often too afraid to ask the police for help, or the police refuse to help because they’re poor/uneducated/POC/don’t give a fuck/don’t believe them because the abuser is an upstanding pillar of the community/etc, or in the USA the abuser is often a cop. and if the police do show up, the abuser might not go to court or serve jail time, meaning he’ll be free to retaliate against the woman and children, and in many cases abusers retain parental rights over their children; even if a restraining order is issued, that doesn’t guarantee it will be enforced, and it will not prevent an abuser from harming the woman and children, only punish him for it after it’s too late. for the woman and her potential children, leaving means homelessness, starvation, immense psychological stress, and huge risk of retaliation up unto being murdered. so if, since she cannot resist or escape her abuser while he’s beating the shit out of her, she decides to take a kitchen knife and kill him while he’s passed out drunk, that’s self-defense.

yes, we can and must educate people, especially children, and yes this is the only way to bring lasting change on a societal level. but in the meantime, my roommate and her loved ones aren’t the ones suffering from chronic poverty, threatened and degraded by discrimination, being denied job opportunities and basic rights, or dying from completely preventable lack of food, shelter, and medical care, or being murdered because they and their lives are considered trash. no violence is not always the only solution, but sometimes it is, and sometimes it is the best solution.

obviously her understanding of the world is going to be heavily influenced by her experience of it. and the reality is, she’s blonde, thin and conventionally attractive, from an educated financially secure family, can afford to be vegetarian and buy high-quality food every day, and she can single-handedly pay her own university tuition (in canada) with her part-time job. but it’s easy for her to say that “violence is never the answer” when she has never, and likely will never, have to fight for her life, her rights, or those of people like her, will never have to defend her inherent worth to people who genuinely don’t care. and this is a good thing, because no one should have to do any of this, but it needs to be true for everyone. so repeat after me,

PACIFISM IS FOR THE PRIVILEGED.

THE LAW IS NOT JUSTICE.

CAPITALISM IS FAKE AND NON-SUSTAINABLE, IT IS A VIOLENT, SYSTEMATIC, MURDEROUS ATTACK AGAINST THE 99%. there is no reason other than the greed of the 1% for the way our society is currently structured or how resources are being distributed. jeff bezos is currently worth 165 billion USD. if you divided that equally among all 7 billion people on this planet right now, we would each have over 22 billion, can you wrap your heads around that? or let’s convert that into time, $1 for 1 second: if i earn 50k/year, i get to live for not even 14 hours; jeff over there will live for 5232 years. so yes, EAT THE RICH. it is horrifyingly evil to have that much money, knowing the only way to have that much is to make it at the expense of the vulnerable, off of slave labor and the exploitation of human suffering, and even worse to choose not to use it to improve the world around you and help your fellow man.

[just-jordie-things]

Adopted Nuisance - Peter Parker

word count: 7743 warnings: swearing a/n: this is a bit more adopted!reader x father!tony than a peter parker fic just saying

When you were ten months old, your father was killed in a Hydra attack, and your mother put you into foster care.  Being only a baby meant that you didn’t remember any of this, including your biological parents.

You were in the system for five years, being passed around family to family.  Some of them you were removed from because of your rebellious behavior, others the parents couldn’t afford to keep you with them.  But the worst were the ones who simply didn’t care enough to take care of you.  Getting picked up by the same CPS agent each time you were taken away became habit.  The longest you stayed in a household being a mere two months.  You’d barely learned their names.

But then what seemed to be a miracle happened just a week before your fifth birthday.  Only five and already having been through a lifetime of trauma.

You were selected to be taken to what the older kids called a ‘forever home’.  The place that the lucky and good kids go to live with a mommy and daddy for the rest of their lives.  Being adopted, by someone who only wanted to love you and raise you and take care of you.  Everything you’d dreamed of.

You didn’t know who Pepper Potts was.  Not really.  You were five, you’d never seen a Newspaper, never memorized the Stark Industries billboards.  All you could assume was that she was your mom now.  And that there were flashing cameras as she came into the building to meet you because it was such a big deal that a child was being adopted.  You didn’t know it was because she was dating a multi billionaire philanthropist who wanted to dabble in saving the world, and that she was partially running one of the largest and most well known companies in the world.

The day you met Pepper you cried.  You were so happy when she walked into the room you’d been assigned to, your small suitcase with very few items in it sitting on your perfectly made bed.  You didn’t remember much besides squealing and running up to her to hug her.  The woman was so taken aback by your affection she stumbled a little before picking you up and hugging you closely.

“You’re going to come home now, is that okay?”

You had nodded your head so fiercely you nearly knocked her chin.  She’d taken your tiny suitcase and carried you outside, past the cameras again, and into the biggest and fanciest car you’d ever seen in your young years.  When she helped you inside, seating you in the new booster seat that was bought just last night, she gave you a warm smile.

“My name is Pepper” She had told you, which earned a smile because clearly you thought it best fit her hair and freckles somehow.  “But you can call me anything you like, anything you’re comfortable with” Her voice was so soft and caring you cried again, not even realizing why at the time.  But in your subconscious you knew she was meant to be your forever home.

Tony Stark was an odd character.  You knew he was your forever daddy, but you didn’t see him much.  Pepper was usually the one around for you.  She would tell you he’s busy, that he has important work or business.  Sometimes he’d be absent for days, and these were the times Pepper would make frantic phone calls and keep you away from the tv.  Especially the news.  But other times, shortly after these long days of his missing presence, he’d be around every corner you’d turned.  He’d make you all breakfast, take you on rides in his many fancy cars, go shopping for any toy you pointed at, and it was a delight to be treated with such luxury.  But it made the days he was gone all the more harder.

As you got older, you realized more things.  For instance, his true identity.

When you were ten, you had uncovered that Tony Stark, your father, was the Iron Man.  And while you weren’t all that surprised, because of his tech, you were still confused as to how you were left in the dark about it for so long.  But you weren’t mad.  Pepper seemed disappointed when you’d confronted her about it, guilt consuming her for keeping such a secret.  But you didn’t mind, you’d brushed it off as an adult thing and happily started questioning Tony.  He didn’t hold back on his answers, being as honest as he could.  Because he wanted you to know the truth, feeling you were old enough now to understand the circumstances.

When you were thirteen, you were sure the world was going to end.  There were spaceships with aliens on them flying through the city of New York, and the sky seemed to have been ripped open by a massive portal.  While on a transit with Pepper, Tony had called you both.  Saying what could have been his final goodbye.  You didn’t register that he’d nearly killed himself sending an atomic bomb into space until after the events were taken care of.

After that you got pretty close to Tony, talking to him more and making sure he had the time to talk to you.  You presented yourself as more of a daughter figure, and it gave him something to focus on to get over his constant nightmares and dark memories.

But it wasn’t just Tony anymore.

It was Bruce Banner, expert in all sciences.  It was Natasha Romanoff, trained assassin.  Clint Barton, agile hunter.  It was Thor, the God of Thunder.  It was Captain Fucking America.  Things weren’t the same, and you knew deep down they never would be.

It didn’t take long for a chain of problems to spark as you matured enough to understand the difficulties of being superheros in a modern world.  The events of Sokovia damaging your innocence permanently.

You had gone along with Tony, much to Pepper’s dismay.  You weren’t all that trained, but you could work a gun pretty damn well and get civilians onto the aircrafts.  Not without a few knicks and bruises though, and not to mention a bullet to the shoulder that nearly killed you.  But it was worth it, because thousands were saved and that’s what mattered.

After Sokovia your life changed dramatically.  You began training more, becoming a sharp shooter like Clint and knew enough self defense to knock a man out in a few minutes.  (Oh your poor trainers).  You spent time in the labs, gaining enough intel on your surroundings and the tech that your father created to be able to properly take care of material damages, as well as operate the Iron Man suit.  You became closer to the team members that had morphed themselves into your family and you treated them as such.  Even Wanda Maximoff had turned into a friend of yours, a woman you’d feared greatly when you’d first met her.  Then again, even Romanoff had a soft spot, so your judgements never seemed to stick.

Things were going great.

“I don’t understand why you’re so fucking stubborn!” You shouted at your adoptive father as he paced his lab, a glass of whiskey in hand.  “He is your ally, he is your friend!”

“(y/n) I think it’s time to get ready for dinner, yeah?” Pepper asked pointedly, hoping your little tangent would end and you would leave Tony alone to come to a proper consensus on his own.

“I can’t eat” You shook your head.  “I feel sick.  This sickens me” Your eyes were back on Tony as he plopped onto a sofa casually.

“What do you want me to say kid?” He sighed, taking a drink before speaking again.  “That we aren’t breaking the law? That everyone out there is completely safe because of us?” His tone was sarcastic, and you didn’t dare answer his rhetorical questions.  “Cause that’s not true”

“That doesn’t mean we give up-”

“There are people out there who hurt!” He raised his voice now, surprising you.  Tony never yelled at you.  Sure he shouted, but never at you.  “Because of us! Because of what we do!”

Your head shook.  “We save people”

“We were responsible for an entire city being carried into the fucking sky!”

“Tony” Pepper hissed.

“We saved those people” You muttered.  “And besides that, you think it’s worth to give this all up?”

“I think it’s about time we have some guidelines” Tony said.

“That means no more secret missions.  Who’s going to help the people the way we can?” You asked, growing desperately.  He wasn’t understanding just what it was he was doing.  “The cops?” You laughed bitterly.

“Don’t speak down on our first responders” He told you in that Dad sort of way.  But you called bullshit.

“Oh please, you know full well they aren’t capable of doing what we can”

“You’re a sixteen year old girl!” Tony hollered again.  “You’ shouldn’t be a part of any of this! You shouldn’t be carrying firearms!’

“Well it’s a little late for that!” You yelled back.

“(y/n)!” Pepper scolded.

“I’ve been here this whole time! I’ve seen the same things you’ve seen! I’ve been in the same battles you have!” You were so angry that you felt your blood coursing through your fingers.  “After going through all that shit you just want to abandon everything we’ve built?”

“If that means keeping us- keeping you safe- then yeah! I’d give it up in a second!”

“We can’t put our lives above others” You told him.

“That’s enough” Pepper said, finally stepping in between you and your father.  “(y/n), go upstairs and make yourself some dinner.  Tony, you and I are talking.  Now”

“No-” You began to protest

“Yes” Pepper said, pointing angrily towards the door.  Deciding against arguing further with her, you stormed off to the door.  But not before having the last word.  “But just so you know, if it comes down to it, I’m taking Steve’s side on this” And then slamming the door behind you as you left.

Pepper gave Tony a pleading look, but he just looked away.

“Are you not concerned by any of that?” Pepper asked, standing in front of him as he silently sipped his drink on the couch.  “Your daughter just told you that she wasn’t on your side, and you let her”

“She needs to have your own opinions” He said blankly.

“Her own opinions?” Pepper asked ridiculously.  “You want her out there on a battlefield, where you aren’t on the same sides?” She asked him, crossing her arms.  “Next thing you know she’s aiming that gun at you”

“Please, she wouldn’t win”

“Why don’t you think for a second about what that means, and get over your ego for a few minutes” She snipped.  “That means, she could get hurt, or worse.  And then our daughter is a criminal”

Tony was silent, getting up from his seat and walking to the door.

“Tony” Pepper begged.  “Don’t let her do this, go fix it”

He left to go find you.

You spent days in an awkward tension with Tony.  Crossing paths with little to no interaction.  You spent more time talking to Vision than you did Pepper and Tony.  Your parents.

“Miss (y/l/n) I don’t understand why you can’t talk it out with Mr Stark” The android said as you made your morning cup of coffee.  “I must be honest with you, it’s… awkward” He settled on the word with a wince.

“I don’t care” You said tiredly, pulling your mug off the Keurig and blowing softly before taking a drink.  “He’s a grown man, he can have his opinions and can make his choice” You shrugged your shoulders.

“Miss (y/l/n) I’m worried you don’t see the danger you put yourself in if you were to… well to not see Mr Stark’s side on this” Vision explained.  “You put yourself at serious risk if-”

“Thank you, VIsion.  Really.  But I have work to catch up on” You said, taking your coffee and heading to the common room.  You felt lucky he didn’t follow after you to further his argument.

Before you could lounge on the couch and enjoy your coffee in peace, a large binder caught your eye on the table.  Surrounded by various other folders, but it was the binder that caught your attention.  Laid open, waiting for you to read through it.

Curiously you looked around yourself to make sure you were alone before tiptoeing towards it, the large print at the top of the page reading SOKOVIAN ACCORDS.

And below it, section one of the Superhuman Registration Act.

Looking around one more time, you set your coffee on the table and looked more closely at the pages that filled the metal rings.  Different lines catching your eye as you skimmed through the papers.

“No superhuman can go undetected”

“... tests run throughout pregnancies and at birth..”

“... housing institutions for unconventional nonhumans”

“Unconventional nonhumans?” You repeated in shock.  To think that the government would label people in such a dehumanizing way.  And all you could think about was Wanda, how was she any less human than the rest of you? Or VIsion?

You flipped through a few more pages, seeing the different pitches for tests that could be run on superhuman DNA, on fetuses and young children, babies that were just brought into the world.  How could any mother be okay with someone whisking away her child for injections and tests?

And these… institutions, they were absurd!

“Interesting, huh?”

You nearly knocked over your coffee as you jumped and spun around, a hand over your chest as you calmed your breathing that had spiked when you heard the voice.  Your eyes landed on someone you’d never seen before, but he looked your age.

“Who are you?” You asked skeptically, shifting the sleeves of your romper almost uncomfortably.  Tony didn’t like guests in the facility that weren’t scientists or the Avengers.  But he was kinda… cute.

Not that you had the time for cute boys.

“Oh s-sorry I’m Peter Parker- I mean Spider-Man- I mean-”

“Okay” You brushed it off, turning back to the files again to see what else you could scrounge up about these Accords.

“Y-you’ve heard of me?”

“Yeah, you ever heard of Youtube?” You responded dryly, not in the mood to make acquaintances with someone right now.

“Well that’s cool” Peter grinned to himself, a pretty girl knew him and that was pretty cool.  “I’ve heard of you too”

You didn’t say anything, flipping through the pages and scanning over each one as quickly as you could.  Surely Tony or Pepper would walk in at any minute and scold you for going through private papers.  But it was their own fault for leaving it out in the open like this.

“Are those the Accords?”

“Parker I really don’t have the time right now to meet you” You said, pulling your phone out of your pocket and casting him a sorrowful glance.  He nodded awkwardly, his hands fumbling together.  “Friday, call Wanda Maximoff please” You spoke into your phone, and within a few seconds the number was ringing.

“Woah!”

“(y/n)? Are you alright?” Wanda’s concerned voice asked when she picked up.

“No, I’m not alright” You spoke quietly, turning away from Peter who was still standing in the room for some reason.  “I need to talk to you”

“I’m out right now, Vision was being weird” The witch told you.  “I’ll be back soon and we can talk then, alright?”  You nodded, and realized she couldn’t see you.

“O-okay” You stammered, feeling your throat swelling up a little bit.  “See you then”

“Bye (y/n/n)” She said sweetly before hanging up.

Taking a deep breath, you slid your phone back into your pocket, turning back towards Peter for second.

But he wasn’t standing there anymore.  

“What the hell?” You muttered to yourself, but shook it off and got back to business.  Wiping your eyes for any possible wideness, you cleared your throat and smoothed your hands down your shorts.  “Friday, send a copy of these Accords to my laptop please” You ordered.

“Right away (y/n)”

“And please keep the transaction out of Stark’s view” You added.

“I’ll do my best (y/n)” The mechanical female voice said.  You nodded your head to yourself, replacing everything the way you found it, grabbing your mug, and getting the hell out of the common room.

Walking quickly, you were going to head back to your room to look more thoroughly into the accords when you nearly crashed into Tony.

“Watch out kid, why the hurry?” The man questioned.  Swallowing thickly, you shrugged.

“I was going to go clean up my room and finish my work” You said, referring to the schoolwork that you were assigned to finish by the end of each week.  Nodding, Tony snapped his fingers into the next room over.

“Hey Spidey come out here I want you to meet someone”

Your eyes widened when Peter Parker walked out of the kitchen and into the wide hall.

“Oh it’s-”

“Pleasure to meet you” You said, sticking your hand out to him, hoping he’d take the hint and act like he’d never seen you before.  “I’m gonna guess you’re the Spider-Man that’s all over the web huh?” You asked, before giggling quietly at the word web.  Peter chuckled awkwardly, shaking your hand for too long as he looked at you confusedly.

“Parker, this is my daughter (y/n)”

“Adopted” You muttered, but no one said anything so you weren’t sure they heard you.

“I was hoping you’d take Peter here on a little tour of the facility, (y/n)” Tony asked.  You gave him a look that clearly screamed no, but Tony ignored it.

“Actually I have school-”

“Great! Thanks kid” Tony said, completely dismissing your rejection.  “I’m sure you’ll figure out the boundaries.  He’s staying on the third floor, room 22b”

You sighed and rolled your eyes dramatically.

“See you two later at dinner” And with that, the man walked off.  You flipped him off behind his back.

“Uh… what was that all about?” Peter asked awkwardly.  Beginning to regret his decision on coming here to help Stark.

He’d looked up to Tony Stark like an idol, when he was little he was always following the news on Stark Industries, absolutely marveled by what they do and what the philanthropist was capable of.  And when Tony had announced his identity of Iron Man, Peter was all the more infatuated.  Even with you, learning of the man’s public adoption that helped him turn his life around, he thought that was amazing.  So when he showed up in his apartment and recruited him to the team, he was all the more excited to say yes.

“It’s nothing” You said, walking off.  “Do you want the tour or not?”

Peter strided quickly to keep up with you as you very plainly directed him around every room.  He tried his best to pay attention, but you were so fast and spoke the bare minimum.

“So what’s it like being Tony’s daughter?”

“I’m not” You said, turning and looking slightly up at him.  Your eyes were sharp as you denied his accusation.  “I’m not a Stark” You added.

“Sorry I just assumed from the articles-”

“I don’t care it doesn’t matter” You shook your head.  You were just itching to get to your laptop.  “You mind me asking a question now?” You asked him, leaning against the wall as you stared at him, your eyes studying over him.  Peter flustered under your intense gaze.

“Okay” He replied in an unsure tone.

“What are you doing here?”

Peter’s brows rose at the question.  He figured you would have known, but it was apparent that you had no clue that he was even coming here today.  Whereas he’d prepared for the past two days to meet everyone and get settled in.

“I-I’m here cause Mr Stark recruited me” Peter shrugged, eyes narrowing as he wondered if that was the answer you were expecting.

“Recruited you?” You repeated.  “What, like as an Avenger?”

“Well… well no not exactly”

“Oh”

Oh.  And now you knew Tony’s play.  He was developing a team.  He wasn’t going to try and get more votes for the Accords.

“You’re a superhuman, aren’t you?” You whispered now.  Peter shrugged, but nodded his head.

“Yeah… yeah I guess” He answered.  “He said Captain America was doing something illegal-”

“What? What did he say he was doing?” You pressed, voice low.

“I-I don’t know” Peter put his hands up.  “I’m sorry he didn’t get that far just that he has to be stopped-”

“Goddamnit Tony” You grumbled, putting your fist to your lips as you tried to think of something fast.  You needed to do something.  Your foot began to tap as your mind raced with ideas on what the hell could be going on.  What could Steve do that would be illegal? He always preached about freedom and that people deserve chances-

“Barnes” You whispered to yourself.  

“What?”

“He’s getting Bucky” You mumbled again, your hands going to your hair as your eyes widened.  Holy shit.  This was something bigger than you could’ve thought.  “I’m sorry Peter but I need to go right now”

“Where?” He asked but you were already turning away.  But halfway down the hall you turned back around.

“I hope you know what he’s getting you into” You told him sadly, then rushed off.

Peter had no idea what you were talking  about.  And he had no idea what was really going on.

You were running full speed through the corridors, trying to get to your room as quickly as possible and hoping that no one would run into you like earlier.

You desperately unlocked your door and went to your closet as swiftly as possible, pulling out anything you could and stuffing it into your backpack.  Then quickly unhooking your laptop and sliding it in as well.  You grabbed your ‘incognito’ oversized hoodie and baseball cap for days you went out and needed to not be recognized, then headed back out into the halls, bag on your back and phone in hand as you pulled your phone out and shoved your hat on.

“Friday, call Wanda” You directed as you headed back to the common room again.

“Ringing Wanda Maximoff” The voice told you.  You yanked the sleeves of your hoodie on as you looked around you skeptically, expecting someone to catch and stop you.

But instead what you ran into was much different.

Clint Barton, aiming an arrow at the Vision as Wanda stood next to him, both decked out in their battle uniforms.  Oh no.

“Clint” Your voice was soft with surprise.

“(y/n)” Wanda was the one who spoke, rushing over to you and hugging you tightly for a quick moment.  “We need to leave”

“Wanda, you need to stay” Vision said, his voice fearful.

“Yeah and who’s keeping her here, you, or Stark?” Barton accused, his aim never faltering.

“Clint, you know an arrow will not stop me from protecting her”

“You aren’t protecting anyone” Wanda said.  You knew she was angry, but her voice was dripping with sadness.  “You need to let me leave”

“I can’t stop you” Clint muttered.  “But she can” He nodded to Wanda, and you could see her magic dancing around her fingers.

“Wanda-” Vision sighed.

“I’m sorry” She mumbled, before using her powers to push him to the floor.

“If you do this now, they will never stop being afraid of you”

“I can’t control their fear” She whispered.  “Only my own”

And with that, Vision was sent down through the many floors of the facility.

“We have to go, now!” Clint ordered, running off with you and Wanda to the weapons unit.  You quickly grabbed what you needed, and Clint restocked as well before you all left.

Not long after you got outside and into the back of Clint’s car did your phone begin to ring.

Incoming Call from: Dad

“Who’s calling?” Clint asked as he drove like a madman.  You declined the call and shook your head.

“No one, it’s nothing” You answered  “Where are we going?” You asked, changing the subject.

“To the good guys” Clint answered.  He looked at you through the rearview mirror.  “Long time no see kiddo” He said, making you smile for a short moment, but as soon as your eyes looked out the window, it turned into a frown.

Wanda turned to face you from where she sat in the front seat.

“We’re doing the right thing” She assured you.

And you knew that.

“I have the Accords on my laptop” You informed them, pulling it out of your bag.  “I’ll send it to you, but eventually Tony’s gonna hack into my system and wipe it clean, so it’s gotta be quick”

When you arrived at the parking garage, you got rid of your hoodie and left your things in Clint’s car.  Wanda gripped your hand for a moment as you walked together.

“I’m sorry about Tony” She whispered.  You didn’t say anything, looking at her shortly before directing your eyes elsewhere.

“You brought (y/n)?”

You perked right back up when you heard the familiar voice.

“Steve?” You questioned unsurely, catching up to Clint and seeing the man you worried you wouldn’t see again.  The man smiled back at you, taking you in for a tight hug.

“I can’t believe you came” He said, shaking his head at you.  You smiled, looking between him and Sam, who also hugged you quickly.

“Yeah well, I saw the Accords” You sighed and shrugged your shoulders.  “Couldn’t stay out of it”

“No Nat?” Steve questioned, now looking to Clint, who opened his mouth to speak but no words came out, and he just shook his head.  “It’s alright, I’ve got someone for you to meet anyways” He said, before turning around to face a large van, and opened up the doors.

“Wh-what who is it?”

A middle aged man jolted up from where he’d been sleeping on the van floors.

“This is Scott Lang” Sam introduced.  “He’s a bug” He added in a bored tone.

You looked around your small group worriedly.  You wondered how different things were going to be in two days.

You knew you were supposed to stay in your hotel room with Wanda.  It wasn’t safe to leave and be seen by anybody, but you couldn’t help it.  You just couldn’t stay cooped up in this room.

So when Wanda fell asleep, you snuck out of the room, silently closing the door and tucking the key card into your pocket.  Your identity-preserving hat on your head and your hoodie blanketing you.

There wasn’t much to do, and you didn’t want to leave hotel grounds in fear of something going wrong, so you just wandered around with your headphones in as you went sightseeing through the hallways.  It was peaceful enough to calm your racing heartbeat and unsettled nerves.  And you tried your best not to think of the das to come, or the fact that Bucky Barnes was just a floor above you plotting with Steve.

You were just thinking about trying out the gym when you heard a familiar voice down the hall.

“Yeah, yeah the internship is going great” It seemed like they were on the phone.  “I promise I’ll be safe May, I’m stuck in the lab all day b-but it’s great! I really love it, this is just amazing” They gushed.

You walked around the corner quickly, pulling your earbuds out slowly as your eyes met Spider-Man’s.  His noticeably widened as his mouth fell open in shock.

“Aunt May it’s late… I’m gonna call you back in the morning” He mumbled quickly, before rushing out a goodnight and hanging up the phone.

“What the hell are you doing in Germany?” You whisper screamed, stuffing your phone and earbuds into your jacket pocket as you stared at Peter incredulously.

“I-I’m here with Mr Stark why are you here?” He replied anxiously, voice low.

“Tony’s here?” You asked, sounding just as worried as he was.  This was not good, and it was definitely not a part of the plan.

“Yeah, why are you here? W-we thought you left…” He trailed off, not sure what to say.

“I did” You replied weakly.  “I’m helping- I shouldn’t be telling you this” You shook your head before you could explain yourself.  It was quiet for a moment before you spoke again.  “Why are you helping him?” You whispered.

“I have to” He answered simply.  Your face fell and you looked away from the boy.

“You’ve got a brain and a pretty face Parker.  You’re wasting both helping Tony” He seemed taken aback by your statement, staring at you with prodding eyes.

“I-I… I don’t have a choice”

“We all have choices” You shrugged, eyes meeting his.  “But all the superhumans out there won’t if we let this Accords get signed” Peter didn’t say anything again.  And a silence fell over the two of you for a while.  Just as you were about to turn away and leave, Peter said something that made your blood run cold.

“He misses you, Mr- Tony” He told you.  You felt yourself freeze as your head snapped up, eyes wide.

“No” Your voice nearly failed you.  “No he doesn’t.  He’s just disappointed that I didn’t take his side like I do everything else like an obedient little bitch”

“It’s not like that” Peter said quickly.  “He’s stressing out, he’s really scared you’re gonna get hurt-”

“Should’ve thought of that when he signed the accords” Your voice came out in a whisper.

“He loves you-”

“He loves protecting himself.  He cares about himself.  You think he cares about you? You think that suit is because he wants you to succeed?” You asked, pointing to the red material sticking out of his tee shirt.  Walking forwards angril you pulled the collar of his shirt down, exposing part of the rest of his new suit.

Peter’s breath caught in his throat as you were standing so close to him your toes nearly bumped.  Your eyes were stuck on the spider emblem on the front of his chest, and is were stuck staring down at you.

“I knew it” You mumbled.  “You think this is him being nice.  He’s just trying to watch his own back” You whispered.  When you looked up at him he could feel your breath fanning over his lips and he had to swallow to keep his mind clear.

“I’m not his kid” He said quietly.  “You are”

“Barely”

“He doesn’t see it that way” You were quiet as you stared at him, processing those words.  “You can’t honestly believe all that.  That he doesn’t care about anything” Again, you were quiet.  Peter felt the urge to set his hands on your shoulders, but he refrained from doing so, staying as stiff as a board.

“You don’t know him like I do” You whispered.  It dawned on you as you looked up at him that if you leaned forward the tip of your nose would bump into his.

“You’re right” He responded.  “But I’ve seen him pacing all over the place, wondering what the hell we’re going to do tomorrow if you’re at that airport”

“You should be worried about what you’re going to doing I’m at that airport” You answered, stepping back now.  “Because I won’t hesitate to shoot you”

With that you stepped away, turning to head back to your room.  But he grabbed your wrist.

“(y/n) you’ve got to believe me” He said.  “Don’t go through with this”

You snatched your arm out of his hold.

“See you out there Parker” You mumbled, making your way back to your hotel room.

When your eyes filled with tears you wiped at them roughly, refusing to make a scene and start crying.  You made your choice, and they made theirs.  That was that.  Consequences be damned.

Wanda was still asleep when you crept back into your room.  You changed into more comfortable clothes before crawling into the other bed, not even bothering to cover yourself up with the blankets.  Just laying on top of the duvet, your phone and headphones in hand.  The music was still playing, barely audible through the headset.

“You doing alright?” The familiar sokovian accent asked you softly.  You remained still, back turned away from the woman.  “(y/n/n)? Do you want to talk about it?” You could hear shuffling as she got out of bed, looking over at you worriedly as you shunned her.

“No” You replied quietly.  Wanda frowned standing up and laying a hand on your arm, caressing you gently.

“It’s going to go fine” She whispered.  “I promise, things will turn out alright” She told you, then grabbed the blankets and pulled them over you.  “Get some rest, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow”

“Goodnight Wanda” You told her quietly as she tucked the covers around you.

“Goodnight” She replied before going back to bed.

You figured that if someone who’s been through everything and more like Wanda could keep up hope, then you could too.

You were so close, Bucky was just about to get on the chopper, the warehouse was right there.

Tony and his little team of freedom haters had shown up and sabotaged your plan completely.  It was all his fault, everything was his fault.

“Come on Cap, do you really want to be a fugitive?” He’d asked.

“If it means that-”

“No, no cliche America shit” Tony said.  “Look at you! Clint has a family!” He gestured to the sharpshooter next to you.  “You really want to lock him up?”

“You’re going to turn him in?” Wanda asked, a red essence surrounding her fingers.

“I’m supporting the greater good” Tony said.

You subconsciously cocked your gun, earning your father’s attention.

“Congratulations kid” He said sadly.  “You’re an underage fugitive of the law”

“I don’t care” You replied, shaking your head.

“Alright enough of this” Tony cupped his hands around his mouth.  “Underoos!”

And with his awkward intro came Peter Parker, his identity only known by you, as he swung in, taking Captain’s shield.

“Hi everybody” He waved, and you could picture the excited look on his face inside that mask.  You didn’t say anything, or move, just stared at the suit.

How it happened you weren’t sure, you were only trying to get Barnes to the plain and get him the hell out of this place, but the next thing you know you’re being sent back by a blast directed at all of you from Iron Man’s glove.  And that you were shooting at the people you never thought you’d dare hurt.  Plus a strange man in a catsuit?

“Catwoman? That seems a little unnecessary doesn’t it?” You asked the figure as you repeatedly swung at him.

“I refuse to kill a child” He replied.  Your brows furrowed at the thick African accent, who was this guy?

“Well you might just have to” You replied, cocking your gun, tired of the fist fighting.  You were just about to pull the trigger when you were grabbed from behind, and flung backwards through the air.  Gasping you realized you were gonna slam on the ground but just as quickly as you were thrown you were grabbed again and your landing was shielded by a whole body.

“What the matter with you?” Peter’s voice asked, and as you gathered your bearings and realized you were lying on top of him.

“Thanks for catching me” You grinned, before swinging your leg up and kicking him across the head before rolling off.  Before you could sprint away webbing grabbed onto your back and yanked you again.

“Stop trying to get away!” He called.  You groaned as your back hit the ground.

“Stop spitting on me!” You replied disgustingly, pulling on the web he’d stuck to you, now throwing him around.

“Spitting! This isn’t spit! It’s-it’s spiderweb!” He shouted back at you as he landed awkwardly.  He was about to get up when you pinned him back down, gun to his head.  You made no move to do anything, just kept him pinned and under the barrel.  “Do it” Peter spoke firmly.

“I will”

“You said you wouldn’t hesitate”

“I’m not!” You snapped defensively.

“Then do it” He said again.  He sounded so calm, like he was sure you wouldn’t pull the trigger.

“I will.  I’ll kill you right now” You threatened, pushing the gun further against his head.  Peter slowly raised his hands, pulling the mask up off of his face, his eyes meeting yours.

“Kill me then” He said.  “Shoot me”

Your gun began to shake as your hands did, your eyes never leaving his.

“You’re hesitating”

Tears began to well in your eyes as you bit your lips together fiercely.

“(y/n)... you barely know me… pull the trigger”

You stood up abruptly, your gun falling to your side as you still stared at him, all of your muscles tense as your body shook with fear.  Never before had you hesitated on the battlefield.

Before either of you could say anything, Vision was shooting a laser beam around the surrounding area, trying to stop Steve and Bucky from getting to the helicopter.  And you land right in the midst of the beam.

You blacked out as soon as your body was thrown by the explosion.

“If you’ve come here to say this is my fault, I don’t want to hear it” Tony said bitterly as Steve walked into the hospital room.

“I would never say that” The man said softly, taking a seat next to Tony.  “Look I know you’re in a real hard spot right now-”

“No you don’t” Tony snapped, setting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head in is hands.  “You don’t know a single thing about what I’m going through” Steve sighed, nodding his head.  “This is my fault”

“Tony-”

“It is” Steve realized that Stark was beginning to cry.  “It’s all my fault.  She’s in here because of me.  She almost died because of me” Tony stared back at where you were lying on the cot, the heart monitor beating in a slow rhythm.  “I can’t believe I let this happen”

“Tony, you both made your choices, you both knew what could happen.  She knows it’s not your fault”

“Does she?” He replied, and Steve went silent.

They just sat together for an hour or so, silently comforting one another.

Sometime later Steve left, leaving Tony to sit with you by himself.  He’d pushed his chair forward and held your IV taped hand gently.

“Look kid I know we weren’t ever all that close” He mumbled, holding your hand to his mouth.  “I know you’re going through that rebellious teenager phase, where you resent me and everything I represent, and you go flirting with my new recruit, and… I don’t know drink a beer?” He trailed off for a moment, smiling softly to himself.  “I know exactly what it’s like to have a Stark for a father and I know it’s not… awesome… but look it is for me, okay?”

Beep… beep… beep…

“Being your Dad has made me the… God this is cheesy as hell… but it’s made me the happiest man ever, okay?” He said seriously.  “You turned my whole life around, and I know that you hate that, cause you think you’re only here as my rehab, but you’re more than that, okay? Your my whole world.  And you’re still my little girl, no matter what”

Beep beep beep

The monitor sped up a little bit more, and your hand tightened on Tony’s slightly.  Making his eyes widen as he looked at you excitedly.

“(y/n)? Are you awake? Can you hear me?” He spoke fairly quickly but kept his voice down.

“Dad?” Your weak voice wavered, hand still holding tightly to his.  Tony squeezed back, his face lighting up as your eyes closed tightly before fluttering open slowly.

“Oh thank God you’re awake” He breathed out.

“It’s… bright” You mumbled.

“Friday lower the lights please” Tony ordered instantly, to which the room darkened a little bit.

“Am I in the hospital?” You asked, brain still a bit fuzzy after having been in surgery two hours ago.

“At the compound, yes” He told you.  “But you’re okay, you have a few scrapes and bruises, but you’re fine”

“Did I go through surgery?” You asked, eyes widening slightly with surprise.  Tony nodded.

“You’ll be okay-”

“I think I’m high”

“A little bit, yes” He sighed.  “The effects will wear off within the hour” He told you slowly so you’d understand.  You nodded your head, and began to look around a bit more, trying to blink away the fuzzy feeling in your brain.  “How do you feel otherwise? Any pain?”

“Was I stabbed?”

“No-”

“Shot?” You asked with a groan.  “Again?” Tony chuckled and shook his head.  “What happened?”

“You walked into Vision’s line of fire trying to run away”

“I ran away?” You asked, eyes bugging with disbelief.  You never backed down from a fight.  Tony nodded his head.

“You were running away from Parker” He told you, and again you were shocked, barely remembering what had happened, but the image of holding a gun to his head seemed familiar.  “He told me about it”

“Is he okay?” You asked softly, and Tony nodded.

“Yeah yeah, he’s totally fine you barely touched him” He chuckled now.  “Said you couldn’t do it”  You nodded your head, still unable to think of what had happened.

“Weird” You mumbled, brows furrow.  Why would you spare him? You barely even remembered him, much less knew him.

“He’s out in the hall, want to talk to him?”

“Oh I-”

“He’s been waiting for me to let him in” Tony continued before you could object.  “He feels really horrible about what happened, he thinks he’s responsible” Your mouth dropped open in shock, guilt pooling in your gut at the thought.

“Okay let him in” You said.  Tony nodded, getting up and heading to the door.  He opened it and poked his head out.  You could hear voices but you couldn’t tell what they were saying.  And then the door opened all the way and Peter came in.  You smiled at him, whereas he gave you the most worried expression you’d ever seen.  “Hey Spidey-Boy”

“Are you okay? Do you feel okay? Are you still high”

“Yes yes yes yes and yes” You nodded your head repeatedly.  “Are you okay? Get attacked by anybody?”

“No I’m-I’m all good” He said, nodding awkwardly.  “I didn’t get shot in the head so… that’s a good thing” He said, quickly shaking his head.  “Are you… are you really okay?”

“Yeah-”

“Cause I feel really bad it was all my fault I should’ve-”

“Stop talking” You giggled, but once you started you couldn’t stop, the feeling making your brain get all bubbly again.  “It’s really alright.  You know how many times I’ve been in this hospital?” You said, quirking an eyebrow.  “I’m on a first name basis with Tony’s head Doctor here” You told him.  “Besides, it’s not your fault at all Peter” With that you set a hand on his that was setting on the bed.

“Why didn’t you shoot me” He asked, so quietly it was like he wasn’t even speaking to her.

“I don’t remember” You replied, taking your hand off of his and playing with the IV tubes in the back of your hand.

“Really”

“I don’t” You said more defensively.  “I just… I remember holding my gun and then I remember the sound of the explosion” Your eyes anxiously met his.  “I really don’t remember much… did I hurt anybody?”

“Well, you tried to kill me, but then you didn’t” He replied honestly, sitting in the chair Tony was at moments ago.  “You backed off and were gonna run away actually, but got caught in the crossfire”

Stupid, you screamed at yourself internally.

“Soon as Tony saw you… everything just stopped.  He was beating the shit out of Captain America.  It was actually kinda cool-”

“I don’t need to hear that part” You cut in softly.

“Sorry.. Anyways he came right over to you and ordered everyone, and I quote, ‘hold the fuck up’ so he can get you back to the compound and treated.  It was kind of… nice.  Everyone stopped what they were doing to get you safe”

You smiled at that, looking away to hide the way that light your face up completely.

“Look I know you’re in this weird place right now with your D- Tony” He caught himself.  “But he really cares about you, and whether or not you see him as your Dad, he definitely sees you as his daughter and I think that really counts for something” Peter said, shrugging his shoulder a little.  You looked back at him, a smile tugging on your lips.

“I would’ve liked to meet you under better circumstances Parker” You told him, and the boy blushed a bright shade of red.

“Yeah, not really a good time huh?”

“Who knows.  Maybe I would’ve understood your crush a little better”

“C-crush?”

“Yeah, your crush on me” You shrugged, smiling so sweetly though you felt like the devil for torturing him like this.  “Come on, you’re so obvious” You snickered.

“That’s ridiculous.  You’re Stark’s kid!”

“So?”

“So… so… you wanna hang out when you aren’t hooked up to a heart monitor?” You laughed at the question, not because it was funny, but because he couldn’t keep up the act even if he tried.

“On one condition” You said.  Peter’s hopes lifted at that.

(Also your heart monitor beeped a little faster when he asked you and if that wasn’t a giveaway he wasn’t sure what was)

“Alright, what is it?”

“You have to go get permission from my Dad” You answered softly.  Peter smiled and nodded, taking your hand again.

“I can handle that” He told you.

Things would be awkward for a while for everybody, but you knew they’d play out alright.  Grudges could only be held so long, and eventually something would come along that would bring all the Avengers together again.

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xoxo ~ jordie