#as i said i dont mind i dont want anyone to feel guilty

[kordbot]

ive never had a problem with none of my friends being into s.igcorp but the fact that this means i have no one to have matching s.igcorp icons with is so homophobic

[quetzaly-ameyali]

As always TikTok having shit takes on media

I just saw one where they say that Jentry didn't actually miss Kit and that she moved on to quicky

[foxcassius]

wait also my tags on that post were about people i knew in freshman and sophomore year of college specifically. i mean some of them i knew after that and most of them i knew from high school but damn some people really made everything about themselves when i was being emotionally manipulated in my freshman year

[honeytonedhottie]

giving urself princess treatment⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

princess treatment feels AMAZING when ur receiving it from others, but when ur receiving princess treatment from yourself, the feeling that u get from it is unmatched. no one can love u better then u can love you ✨

YOUR SPACE ;

turn ur space into your own palace. keep fresh flowers in ur room and keep ur space clean and tidy. surround urself with beautiful things for a beautiful mind.

light sweet smelling candles, invest in ur space bcuz we spend a lot of time in our bedrooms so turn that into a sanctuary.

NEVER SAY NO TO DESSERT ;

i dont like the term "guilty pleasures" because why should we feel guilt for things that bring us pleasure? like having ur cute drink of the day or having extra dessert? let yourself indulge in what u love. everything in moderation ofc but dont deny yourself something like that. you're a princess.

cute pastries

fruit with honey

rich teas and milks

indulge in sweet treats like fruits with honey, or frosted cupcakes with sprinkles. stay sweet~

INTENTION AND DESIGNATION ;

have a designated space where u do _ activity. or have a designated cup that u drink ur favorite tea in. putting intention into the things that u do helps u feel like a princess.

also have intention with the things that u say and the things that u continuously think every single day bcuz as we all know "our thoughts manifest"

have good posture

say ur affirmations

use sweet smelling lotions and perfumes on your body, intentionally sleep 8 hours a night and have a designated time for a nap bcuz a princess needs her beauty sleep.

"I DESERVE IT" MENTALITY ;

you deserve that new dress that u want. you deserve whatever ur manifesting. YOU DESERVE IT. you deserve everything good in your life and dont believe anything or anyone who tells you different. when you think of what you deserve you should only think of the best.

with that being said dont deny yourself your desires especially if u have the ability to give it to yourself (which u do)

remember how deserving you are of the good things in life. you deserve to feel the sun on ur skin, you deserve to be loved by yourself, you deserve to take a bubble bath.

LISTEN TO BEAUTIFUL CLASSICAL PIECES ;

listen to classical music or better yet, pick up an instrument that seems magical to you. maybe learn to play your favorite pieces on the piano, or learn how to play the harp.

ATTITUDE ;

offer your help when u have the capacity to do so, give out compliments and smile at people. be nice!! helping others when u can is a beautiful thing that a princess would do.

know that you are a princess and move accordingly. since u know that u deserve the best dont settle for anything less then the best. be willing to walk away from whats considered the "norm" for something better.

BE WILLING TO GO THE EXTRA MILE ;

be willing to do the extra things in order to make ur life easier or more enjoyable in the near/far future. have your own back!! when ur willing to go the extra mile, you'll reap more. bcuz ur not mediocre ✨

[storiesfromafan]

Guilty As Sin Pt2

A/n: a part 2 was asked for, so I have delivered. I will be doing a part 3 and that will be it :) I'm glad I've got some writing mojo back lol.

Part 1

I've also posted a character request list. I dont have much on it for the moment, but will add to it :)

Pairing: Mattheo x Fem!Reader

History of Magic was the last class of the day. Which was probably the best class to have, for it was so boring it would make getting an early sleep possible. In fact, Theodore had taken to taking a nap, leaving Lorenzo and Mattheo to keep themselves occupied. Lorenzo was flirting with a Hufflepuff girl in front of him, which Mattheo rolled his eyes at.

Looking around, he noted a few other students already a sleep or on the verge of it. While there were students taking notes of what the Professor was saying, among them there was you. You were taking notes, but not a vigorously as some of the others. You lifted your free hand to cover the small yawn. While he could see the slight droop to your eye, you were even bored. Smiling softly in humor at how cute you were right then.

Coming to his mind was the image of him sitting next to you, and how you would rest your tired head on his shoulder. He would happily wrap and arm around you, holding you in place in case you fell sleep. Recalling the smells from the Amortentia potion, his nose would pick up the citrus from your hair. A pleasant scent that he would delight in. He would then whisper in your ear, telling you how much he enjoyed the scent of your shampoo, that citrus was his new favorite thing because of you.

A nudge from Lorenzo to his side brought Mattheo back to reality. The quizzical look from his mate told him he had spaced out. But Lorenzo never said a word, just going back to flirting with the Hufflepuff girl. Mattheo slumped down in his chair, casting his gaze to you again. This time we were in conversation with one of your friends.

Reflecting on his fantasy, he was surprised on how tame it had been. Usually when he thought about a girl it was always intense and a tad dirty. But with you it had been innocent and sweet. If anyone learnt of this, his Bad Boy rep would take a hit. Mattheo knew the attraction to him was for how bad he was, how he was known to snog a girl without a care about those who saw. How he would place his hands on them in a scandalous way that would have them give in to him. How depraved behind closed doors he could be.

Yet part of him didn’t want that when it came to you. Of course, Mattheo wanted to kiss those lips, that were currently pouting at your friends comment, while she laughed quietly. Earlier in Potions he had noticed how when working on your potion, you would bite your lip when reading over the textbook. Or how those lips would part slightly as you stir your potion. Those lips were the reason for how he incorrectly stirred his potion, but you noticed and save the day.

Then when you took over stirring, how your hands had touched. It was the briefest of touch, but it was enough for him to know your skin was soft. Then when your legs brushed, Lord have mercy on him. How he wanted to run his fingers from your ankle up your leg. Coming to your thigh, Mattheo knew he would draw mindless patterns over that flesh. Savoring the warmth and supple skin. He could only imagine your reaction; face flushed, and breath labored coming from those parted lips he was beginning to adore.

Alright, maybe his thoughts of you weren’t entirely innocent. He couldn’t help himself. You were temping. Had always been. Over the last year he noticed you more, thinking how nice you were. How different you were to the girls that threw themselves at him. He couldn’t see you doing that. You were more of the kind of girl to pine from a distance, never having the confidence to admit their feelings to their crush. You were shy and he liked that about you. But there was a small part of him, the Devilish side, that wanted to taint you. For you to go from saint to sinner, and only with him.

Finally, the lesson came to an end at the decree of the Professor. All the students packed their things, Mattheo moving slightly quicker than everyone with the hope to get a head of you. Thankfully his friends didn’t notice his haste, for Lorenzo was waking the sleeping Theodore by knocking his arm out from under his head. Which lead to his head landing on his unopened textbook on the table. From there, there was laughter from Lorenzo and heated words from Theodore.

Using the distraction, Mattheo grabbed his packed bag before telling his friends he was going on a head. Not waiting for a reply, Mattheo slipped past students and made it to the door of the room, all the while you had just left your desk headed for the door. Smiling to himself, he pulled open the door just as you and your friends stepped up. With a charming smile on his face, Mattheo gestured for you and your friends to go. Your friends didn’t pay him much mind while walking on, as Mattheo had opened the door for them at Potions.

When it was your turn to step past the dashing boy, you looked to him with a soft smile. In turn Mattheo’s smile brightened, a twinkle in his eye at your cute smile. Casting your gaze down with a small blush on your cheeks, you passed through the door and out into the hallway. Watching you walk on Mattheo took in your retreating form. Any other girl that he was interested in, he would have run after them, giving them his full charm. But with you, he felt nervous to do that. So, he opted to watch you go, the view not so bad.

In his mind though, he was picturing himself going after you. Striking up a conversation, hoping not to sound like a bumbling idiot. You would smile at him with that shyness, telling him that he wasn’t an idiot. He would engage you in conversation; be it on the class that concluded, other subjects, hobbies, etc. Anything to have your focus on him, and only him. Feeling brave he would move his hand to grasp your own, trying to convince you that you were about to go the wrong way. But when you would correct him, with justified reason, would he then fold and allow you to lead the way, never letting go of your hand. Sneaky but effective.

“Why don’t you just talk to her” Lorenzo said walking past Mattheo, “instead of daydreaming like some lovesick puppy”.

Both Lorenzo and Theodore laughed walking from the room, snapping Mattheo from his moment. He took off after his mates down the hallway, sputtering over his words. What could he say? They had a point, but they didn’t need to know that.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about” he retorted knocking into Lorenzo’s shoulder as he passed the young man.

Once again, his friends laughed at him. “Deny all you like mate, but we don’t buy it” Theodore said shaking his head.

“I know in Potions the cauldron we were using in the beginning wasn’t having troubles. You just wanted to work by her” mused Lorenzo. Which Mattheo couldn’t entirely deny.

“It was n-not lighting” Mattheo retorted, feeling like he was on trial.

“Really? Sure, it wasn’t user error” laughed Theodore.

Mattheo huffed. “No. It would not light”. He pouted.

Both his mates laughed, pushing Mattheo’s shoulder before letting it go, for now. They all knew what they did, choosing to leave Mattheo be. For they had jested him for the moment. The trio made their way out into the courtyard, taking to hanging out there with a few other Slytherin’s before dinner in The Great Hall.

Lounging in the last of the day’s light by a large tree, Mattheo cast his thoughts to you once more. He knows he should just talk to you. It’s what he would usually do. But it being you turned him into a mess of thoughts and words. Mattheo doubted he would be able to converse with you. He worried his charm would not come through, and he would embarrass himself.

Out the corner of Mattheo’s eye he spotted a familiar head of (color) hair, which Mattheo turned to without a thought. You had come from the same doors he and his friends had. You were linked arm in arm with whom Mattheo guessed to be your best friend. He noted that you both were in full conversation, neither noticing nor caring about those around you. He observed how comfortable you were with her, relaxed and free. The smile on your face was bright and followed by what had to be a giggle.

It might have been a brief passing, but Mattheo saw more of who you are. He liked that he got see you like that. Relaxed, caring, friendly and beautiful in your own way. In that moment Mattheo made a promise that he would talk to you. He didn’t know when or how, but he would! And it looks like the opportunity was going to come to him.

“Oi Mattheo!” Called Theodore, as he through a stick at him. “Are you going to stay with us?”

“Huh?” Mattheo said picking the stick from his hair. “What’s the matter?”

His mates laughed at him. “Malfoy was telling us about the Slytherin party Friday night. But you were off with the pixies”.

Mattheo felt the flush to his cheeks but nodded. “Sounds good”.

Turning back to the direction you had gone, Mattheo smiled to himself. If you came to the Slytherin party, he would get an opportunity to talk to you. And in a setting with alcohol, which will help keep him cool and calm. Feeling like he could jump up and down like an excited child, Mattheo looked forward to Friday.

A/N: Feedback welcome :) Also feel free to send requests.

[graymanshoots]

Try

FWB!Ghost x GN Reader x pastHookup!Konig

Tags: Hookup,semi public sex, regret, angst, yelling, ginger konig, konig doesn't wear his mask constantly like ghost (Only on the field), vulnerability , crying, arguments,no beta we die like men

Part: 1 - 2

A/n: I finally finished this on two days of no sleep and a missing beta reader. Hope guys enjoy the tad bit of spice at the beginning and as needed 18+.

Seeing the head of ginger hair standing out not only cause of its color but because it belonged to the tallest person in the room, filled your stomach with stones.

The memory of the familiar face shot through your mind like a bolt of lighting igniting your nerves as you tensed next to your teammates.

You were all shipped up and sent to a warehouse a couple of weeks after finding out you’d be working with kortac.

Having arrived days before they had you were granted time to stop for a drink with johnny and kyle. Price didnt join claiming he wanted to be prepared and if price isn't coming neither did ghost much to your benefit.

Maybe if he had come you would be piss drunk with the team probably getting dragged back to the warehouse by the man himself, instead you were barely tipsy with your cheek pressed into the leather seating of a stranger's car.

His broad chest rubbing against your back with each harsh thrust, the car surely visibly shaking on the outside.

You dont even have to guess how fucked you would be if he remembered you and decided to ope his mouth.

You cross your arms over your chest and lean against one of the metal support beams that the building had an abundance of.

Despite your wishful thinking the red headed man's eyes fell on you and you knew he knew.

You were quick to notice the slight quirk in his lip before going stoned face once more.

He introduced himself as “konig” before introducing the rest of his team, his eyes occasionally flicking over to you.

“Fuck sake, this guys huge.” Kyle whispered to you coming around to your side.

Kyle had no idea how true his words were, the phantom feeling of being filled by Konig's thick cock.

You nod in acknowledgement to what Kyle says letting out a sigh, “Laswell described him as a battering ram, yeah” you say.

You don't fail to notice the way Konig eyes you up every chance he gets like he had done in the bar nights prior. When you saw him in the bar he was far more blatant with his staring, his interest apparent as he shifted his stance debating on whether to approach you or not.

Rubbing the sweat built from nervousness off his palms and onto the tight cargo pants he wore he finally came over when the boys were getting another round of drinks to approach you.

The conversation between you two was short as you both seemed to have the same goal in mind: get laid.

After Simon you hadn't slept with anyone else but it was a welcomed gift to feel wanted again.

Konig was definitely someone you found attractive, you wouldn't have had breathy moans pulled from your throat in the back of his car if he wasn't.

But he wasn't simon.

A small piece of you felt guilty while the rest was saying fuck it, ghost ditched you not the other way around.

You mentally return to the conversation when you hear your name being said, you realize price is introducing the team and you give a small acknowledgement, your fingers twitching at your hip.

“Oh, I’m familiar.” König responds to your introduction with quick ease causing your teammates eyes to fall on you. Johnny gave you a knowing look of mischief, his bright blues having seen you with the man before you disappeared from the group.

“Just a brief meeting in a bar, unfortunately I did not stay long enough to meet the rest of you.” He clarifies noticing your subtle glare.

The encounter was anything but brief, you thought to yourself as the conversation was then drawn off of you.

It’s wasn’t until later that you bumped into the behemoth of a man.

“You were so vocal a few nights ago now you walk around quiet as a mouse.” He comments a smirk playing on his uncovered lips.

“You pester all your random hookups?” You retort your lips stretching into a thin line as you looked up at him.

“Just the ones I have to work with, mein Freundin.“ he chuckles ignoring your unamused expression.

“Well if that’s all I’ll be going.” You sigh not wanting to get involved any further.

But as you pass his hand grips your wrist and suddenly your back in front of him with his other hand at your chin.

He forces your head to the side and a smirk comes to his lips as he looks at the newly exposed skin .

“So schön, sie sind wie eine Blume .” And then he’s gone and already halfway down the hallway by the time you gather yourself.

Ghost walking down the opposite side of the hallway having seen the interaction from a distance. His eyes arrow on you and then the retreating redhead.

You let out a huff of frustration when you see him and reluctantly start walking in his direction.

“You two seem close, got anything you want to share?” He questioned you his tone accusatory. After weeks of barely speaking to you he breaks the silence to ask about a personal situation.

“It doesn’t concern you lieutenant.” Your quick to respond but he doesn’t want to take that answer.

“It’s concerns me when it’s involves an enemy and You.” He grumbled crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why do I concern you Ghost? I’m just someone you used to use so fuck off cause I already know what your thinking.” The words come out harsher and more bitter than what you intended. Your frustration and resentment to the man you wish you didn’t love coming out almost full force.

Ghost stiffened at your words, his jaw and fists clenching as you brushed past him.

Once he could no longer hear your steps his entire body deflated his shoulders feeling heavy with shame.

He was being unfair to you and he hated himself for it but he felt so selfishly it was hard to stop.

Ghost adjusted his mask and shook off the guilty feeling that loomed over him before continuing down his path.

You could feel your skin buzzing with irritation, your palms stinging from being squeezed into tight fists. Why did he have to make everything in your life harder every time?

No matter how many steps you take away, ghost manages to still be right on your tail. You found yourself spacing for the rest of the day until your sat across from the same person you didn't want to see again that day.

Ghost sat across from you staring you down as you ate the unappetizing food served in mess.

His gaze was unrelenting; he looked as if he was aching to say something but stopped himself instead opting to tap his finger on the edge of his empty plate idley.

“Y’think Lt’s mad at ye?” Johnny questions quietly from his place beside you. You narrow your eyes at the sergeant, “Why would he be?”

Johnny had this look on his face like he did something he wasn't supposed to as he clicked his teeth and shifted awkwardly in his seat.

“He asked aboot whit we were up to at the pub, an i think i might ‘ave talked ye into some trouble.” he confessed glancing over at simon who was still boring holes into the side of your head.

You didn't have time to retaliate against your teammate for his loose lips before simon was standing from his seat arms crossed. “We need to talk, now.” His tone was sharp, his words spoken in that usual gruff manchester accent.

You sucked your teeth and agreed not wanting to make a scene in the mess hall, mentally you vowed to eventually get johnny back for damning you.

After leaving mess ghost lead you to an unoccupied meeting room shutting the door behind the both of you.

“Looks like you got a type.” Ghost started leaning against the door with his arms crossed.

“Don’t fucking start with me ghost, what i do outside of work is none of your damn business.” you hiss plopping down on one of the many chairs in the room.

“Don't tell me it's not my business when you have a drawer of shit at my apartment.” he retorted, his eyes narrowing on you. His body was tense and his shoulders squared like he needed to move but wouldn't allow himself to.

You could feel your eyes burn as your frustration grew, your fists clenching and unclenching.

“You can throw all the shit away, i don't even know why you still even have it.” you mutter looking down at ghost’s shoes avoiding his glare.

“I kept them because i ca-” you cut ghost off before he could say anymore, “Dont you dare fucking do that to me simon!” you snap meeting his glare with glazed eyes.

Standing from the seat you approached Simon's further tensing figure. “You're a jackass, Simon, y’know why? Because i told you how i fucking felt and you fucking left. Now im living my adult life and you want to act like im your fucking girlfriend or something, let me move on!” you were borderline shouting the frustration bleeding out of your eyes and into your voice.

Simon couldnt hold your gaze anymore he couldn't stand that look in your eyes or the dampness of your cheeks. He could feel the words crawling into the back of his throat but none of them were the right thing.

What could he say to fix this, what could he do when your fury spoke so loudly that he wanted to shrink away.

“I…” he took a breath “Im sorry” his arms hung loosely by his side, fingers tapping rapidly at his palm.

“Sorry doesnt change the fact that you left, then treated me like nothing, and ar now trying to grill me about my sex life when you removed yourself from all of my personal life.”

You wiped your face as your tone came down, the short burst of aggression dying down with it.

“I'm tired simon, I devoted so much to you for so long for it all to end because you cant figure yourself out.” You bring your eye’s down to the ground again before back up at simon.

“You’ve had years of us playing this cat and mouse game, if your still confused, if your still unsure, if you don't want…” Your eyebrows pinch together as you clench your jaw.

“If you don't want me, then why are you here? Why are we even having this conversation if your actions speak your truth, because that's all I have to go off of?” Your question struck Simon and his breath caught in his throat.

He rubbed his face over the mask, the feeling of the fabric suddenly becoming so suffocating.

The rough material rubbed uncomfortably on his skin as he pulled it off his chapped lips parting for a heavy breath.

He disheveled with his messy blonde hair and eye bags that seemed deeper than usual.

“You’ve ruined everything for me…” he starts your eyebrows furrowing at his words.

“Everything in my life is so fucking mixed with yours and i can let it go. I thought avoiding you would help make you leave every piece of my being but it just made it worse. You know what happened to my family, and i dont want to use that as an excuse but im fucking terrified of seeing you in my nightmares.” Simon's lips are drawn into a thin line and his body slumps into the wall, his shoulders dropping.

“I know im an arse and big fucking mess and selfish as all hell, but i feel different for you and i dont know what to do with it.” his shaky hands clasped together in front of him.

“You have no idea how many times we’ve been together and i just wanted to have all of you, how many futures that have lingered in my mind over our years together. I want you for the rest of my life but I don't know how long that life will even be.” simon looks to you with a tired sigh.

You feel frozen in your spot the bitterness and frustration in your chest deflating into an equal exhaustion.

“Where do we go from here simon? I love you and I've loved you for over a decade but I can't keep going if you’re going to take years to tell me what you want.” You say stuffing your hands into your pockets unsure what to do with them.

“I like who i am around you, and i dont want to loose one of the only good things left in my life cause im being fucking daft. Am I too late?” his tone was soft almost a whisper. It felt so uncharacteristic for a man like simon ‘ghost’ riley to say something like this, to speak so softly and seem so nervous. You almost felt unsure about how genuine his words were but his glazed eyes had crushed your doubt.

Bringing your hands from your pockets you hesitantly grabbed simons hands before pulling them around you. He immediately melted into the hug, his hands gripping at you as if you'd disappear if he didn't hold you so tightly.

You could feel his relief as you held onto him his shaky breath evening out and his muscles going almost lax.

“We can try again.”

[Good ending] :)

[coichii]

PERFECT ✭

when your insecurities swallow you whole, but you have your boyfriend to guide you

pairing: idol!minho x fem!reader

word count: 0.9k

warnings: insecure reader, hurt comfort, lots of crying, cursing, pls dont let this make you think things about yourself 🙏🏾

“You could have anyone you want, why would you want to be with me? I’m nothing special..” - Jealousy- eye dress

You were having a hard time recently. You and your boyfriend had finally gotten the go ahead to make your relationship public from his company. You wanted this, to let everyone know you were his, and you had gotten tons of support from fans, but there was still the hate.

The hate was small at first, a negative comment here and there. You knew this was going to happen, you just weren’t prepared for how much it would actually affect you.

You went from laughing it off, to it making you insecure, to crying. The post about you, the comments about how “ugly” and “fat” you are. The numerous tweets that criticize every single thing you do. It made every last day feel like hell.

Now you were here, reading the comments you swore that you would stop reading as streams of tears ran down your face. You know you shouldn’t be doing this, that it’s not good for you. But you can’t help but feel like you somehow deserved this.

“Y/n, im home!” You heard Minho’s voice say. Fuck. He must have gotten off of work early, he’s not supposed to be home for another hour.

You quickly try to gather yourself as you hear him put down his bag, walking towards the door. You tuck your phone away, before looking for someway to cover your face, but he was already at the door.

“Y/n, how was your d-“ he stops as he takes in your expression. Your eyes were puffy and red, and you just had a genuinely tired look on your face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He asks, trying to find out why you appeared as if you had been crying, and most importantly, why you were trying to hide it from him.

“N-nothing.” You lied, and he knew it. Before you could protest he was already sitting on the bed, pulling you into his arms. Minho looked at you with gentle eyes, silently coaxing you to speak. And like a chain reaction, you started sobbing, hiding your face in his shirt.

He immediately started running his hand up and down your back, making you cry even louder, if that was even possible.

“I- I just-“ you tried to say, but the tears made in sound like pathetic chokes as all the emotions you were trying to keep from him, desperately left you.

“It’s ok, take your time.” He whispers, trying to soothe your crying whilst also allowing you to finish. He knew that you needed to get all of this off of your chest.

After a few minutes, you finally stop crying. You peel your face away from Minho’s now soaked shirt, not that it mattered to him anyways. His soft and glossy eyes met yours, giving you all the freedom to speak up when you were ready.

“I was reading comments about me, and it made me start thinking. I don’t deserve you. You deserve better than me, you could be dating any other person, but you’re dating me. I’m not pretty, I’m not that smart, I’m just everything that you aren’t. You’re beautiful min, you’re so talented and smart. I’m nothing, I’m not special at all.” You choked out, letting everything that was pent up in your mind free.

You reconnected your eyes with his, feeling a little guilty when you saw a fresh tear roll out of Minho’s eyes.

When he didn’t respond, a pit of worry built in your stomach. You thought this was the moment that he was going to admit that everything the comments said were in fact true.

You tried to pull away, but his firm arms kept you in place. You looked away, ashamed to even be in his presence, but he brought up a hand and turned your face towards his.

“How did those thoughts come into that pretty brain of yours, hm? You’re so smart y/n, you’re the smartest person I know. You’re incredibly talented at what you do as well. Don’t even get me started, on how beautiful you are. You’re so fucking beautiful that it makes my head spin. You drive me crazy, you know that? You know how hard it is to keep my composure when you wear that dress of yours, how quick my heart races when you simply look at me, and how you make me feel like I’ve ascended to heaven when you simply flash your gorgeous smile at me. God, you’re so intoxicating. I can’t even imagine how these thoughts appeared in your mind when you’re so perfect.”

You were not sure when you began crying again. You thought he didn’t love you anymore, that he was just keeping you around because he didn’t have the heart to tell you. But his confession was anything but that.

“I love you so much, I love you so much that it scares me sometimes. You mean everything to me ok? Let me love you so much that you never think of anything like that ever again.” He asks gently.

“Okay…” you stammer timidly. The things be said repeating in your mind, coaxing your brain like honey and making anything negative thoughts scatter.

“I’m going to run a bath for us now, ok?” He suggested, and you nodded yes before he walked away, starting the water.

Your eyes watered again, this time not out of pain, but out of love. You no longer had to second guess how much love he had for you, you knew now.

You knew that no matter what you were going through, he would always be there for you. No matter what.

Back to masterlist

[coolprettyleo]

fit my poems like a perfect rhyme - everything has changed au

wc: 3k

tw: talks of sex. angst. drinking. lmk if more!

gabe perreault x oc

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

rachel summers was a girl everyone around her was drawn too. she was the cool it girl who seemed to be blessed, in just about every aspect of her life; she was.

she was born and raised in california, where her hobbies included surfing and hanging out with friends. in high school she was the popular girl who dated the star quarterback, and of course they won prom queen and king.

she even had her two best friends, that too the average eye; were her minions. together they were the hottest trio in school, it was iconic in a way. sadly, those minions chose to have a mind of their own, and stay on the west coast.

whereas she did not. Rachel. who of course went by the name 'summer', committed to a school on the easy coast; boston college.

she had flowy blonde hair that fell to her shoulders and a heart of gold that made her easy to love by just about anyone who met her. so when she moved into a new city, knowing no one but her beloved cat, she wasn't all too nervous.

"no I dont want to know who he got with tonight mary" rachel rolled her eyes as she face timed one of the minions, who she wanted to call a friend, but wasn't. mary was across the country at college and it happened to be the same college as said quarterback boyfriend, who was now her ex.

mary felt the need to update summer on just about everything he did. of course including the fact he got with a new girl every night.

at least he's finally getting what I couldn't give him.

"i'm not telling you this to be evil summer! I'm telling you this so you don't feel guilty, to go live a life. don't be a nobody, its gross" mary's voice said on the phone seeing as she was in thought. she had a bit of a point.

"I dont feel guilty to go out!"

"then go out!"

rachel thought for a moment, she could go out.

she had a neighbor, who seemed to love going out. that is, if she had been observing right, her neighbor would go alone? maybe she wouldn't mind a companion? they seemed to be around the same age and she seemed cool.

"anyways, I gotta go. love you babe" mary said before kissing the camera and hanging up, not even waiting for summer to mutter a goodbye.

it's like mary only called her, to rub in how much fun college had been going for her. summer on the other hand, was going through a nasty breakup for the beginning of it.

I do need to enjoy it

rachel was left nervously juggling the idea of whether or not she should ask her neighbor.

what do I even say

"wanna join me for drinks?" summer practiced pacing in her living room.

"hey! were neighbors can I join you?" too forward.

"lets have a blast tonight!" what's wrong with you?

what if her neighbor liked to go out alone? or what if she didn't go out alone, and just met up with friends? no summer was sure of the fact she did these activities alone. maybe she's just an alcoholic.

she decided to man up and shake off the nerves and just ask. the worst that could happen, would be she says no, and they go about their lives.

while we awkwardly avoid each other for our rest of co-existency.

summer decided to just go ahead and knock on her neighbors door.

"in a minuite!" she heard rustling and things knocking down on the other side for a minute, before the door swung open and there stood a brunette girl with going out boots. she is going out

the girl seemed to be surprised and confused. summer deciding start the conversation, before the girl thought she was just some creep.

"hi! were neighbors, my names rachel, but like everyone calls me summer" she nervously smiled.

"yeah! I've like seen you in the hallway and stuff sometimes" the neighbor nervously rambled.

"yeah me too. look, I don't know if this is weird or anything, but I was wondering if you would be down to get some drinks some time?"

yes summer! you sounded cool and chill!

the neighbor had not been expecting that. she had thought she was going to open the door to her situation ship , ending things with her, for the crap she pulled last night. but when she opened the door to find summer, she thought she was going to get confronted for the fact she had sex in the middle of said hallway last night. she wasn't proud of that fact either.

"oh! uhm. yeah, that sounds nice! -actually, i'm going out right now, did you want to join?"

"yes!- I mean- yeah sounds cool. super cool" summer cringed, realizing she scream 'yes' and seemed far too desperate.

"let me just get changed real quick" she added.

"okay slay! wear something cute! oh! and by the way my names frankie" the brunette smiled.

"sick name!"

"thanks I was gonna say summer's sick too!" the two girls told each other excitedly. this really felt the start of something new and good for the both of them.

____

the two girls hit the town with a sense of belonging. frankie had been searching for the feeling of a girl friend since she moved in, and summer was the ultimate coolest person you can find.

summer was finally happy she built up the courage to talk to her neighbor, that frankly intimidated her.

"wait so that guy from the beginning of the year wasn't even your boyfriend!?!" summer exclaimed as they got off the uber. she remembered seeing a tall boy in the hallway alot.

"nope. i thought he was gonna fall in love with me over time, news flash, I was wrong"

"he's a douche and love is fake"

"got that right" frankie said smiling.

"so... you got a love life?" frankie asked curiously, she was excited to have the bond of girl hood.

"not really, its kinda dead at the moment. I had a boyfriend, but college happened and everything" summer said kinda sadly.

"im sorry, but I mean we can get you laid?" she smiled wiggling her eyebrows.

summer wasn't the type of girl for hookups. she knew frankie was, she often saw them, but she didn't know if she could throw all her eggs in one basket like that. no-hate but she didn't even let her ex-boyfriend do anything to her till it was the summer of their senior year, ad even that didn't go all too well.

frankie saw her in thought and rewinded.

"oh my god! are you a virgin? i'm sorry. we'll find you just love, then!" frankie said hoping she didn't weird out the poor girl.

"no- I mean- well... kinda. its complicated" summer said, red in the face.

"you dont have to tell-"

summer cut her off by whispering something in frankie's ear. something that made her eyes go wide.

"your half a virgin!" frankie whispered yelled.

"oh shut up franks" summer said as the girls got giggling and gave the bouncer there very fake ID's. frankie knew they were going to be a duo.

___

the bar was frankie's favorite and summer soon understood why. it was a cool vintage bar that kind of resembled a dive bar.

the girls ordered themselves some shots and quickly downed them, needing to feel the feeling sooner than faster.

"oh my god, the boys hockey team just walked in" frankie said, turning and facing away from the door.

"why does that matter, their kinda cute" summer said tilting her head as the filed in sipping on her vodka cranberry.

"the douche guy is a hockey player" frankie told her.

"ohhhh. now I get it"

"I also have a little thing with one of his friends" frankie guilty told her.

"the guy from last night?"

"you saw that!" frankie said, embarrassed as hell.

"please. your not exactly quite either" summer told the girl as frankie wanted to die.

"it's not the guy from last night" frankie told her overall guilty as summer gasped.

"I slept with a BU guy last night. but I mean ryan keeps saying were not anything" frankie said shamelessly as summer had her hands over her mouth.

"do the guys know you" summer asked seeing as alot of them kept looking over at the two.

"yes" frankie said scared to ask why she was asking that.

"oh god four of them are coming over" summer said to her wanting to run away. she hated confrontation.

"your staying with me" frankie said grabbing her shirt before she tried to leave her.

"frankie! missed you at the game tonight" will said being petty, they were pissed at her.

frankie turned and looked at all of them, and by the look of their faces they were mad at her. ryan's face made her want to crumble. they weren't together, he made that very clear, but a girl like frankie had needs.

"it was meaningless" frankie told them, avoiding eye contact with ryan.

"he brought it up on the ice" ryan said to her, frankie now noticing he had a light black eye and busted up lip.

"ry-"

"we need to talk" he said, looking the most serious frankie had ever seen it.

frankie turned to look at summer who saw how frankie wanted to fix things between them. she wasn't going to get in the way of that, just because she was afraid to be left alone.

"go" summer urged her. as she gave her a sorry look and walked out behind a fuming ryan, leaving her with three boys.

"well that was uncomfortable" summer joked to the three boys. all of them eyeing her trying to figure out who she was, frankie didn't have friends.

"i'm her neighbor by the way, summer" she added, not wanting to seem like some nosy person as they nodded.

"jacob" a ginger haired guy said

"will" the blonde one said.

"gabe" a boy that summer found unbelievably handsome said.

"you go to BC?" a gabe asked.

"yeah... I know you guys do, good game today " summer said. she had been watching it on ESPN before she went to frankies apartment. they all smiled and thanked her as they got to talking. even though they looked intimidating they were overall nice goofy guys.

"you think lenny's letting up?" jacob asked as he noticed they were still outside.

"I don't know, he was pretty pissed" will said looking at the door.

"did he get in a fight over her or something" summer asked feeling like she was missing out on something.

"yeah. she has him on a leash and they're not even dating yet" gabe said chuckling.

"well they're not official" summer defended.

"they basically are, they hang out everyday" will said

"she said he's made it very clear, that they're not together" summer said.

"that doesn't give her the green light to sleep with other guys though" gabe argued.

"guy. just one. i think you guys are just mad it was with a BU guy" summer said to them.

"I mean obviously! before the champion ship game is crazy too. he was just trying to get in our heads too, especially lennys. hughes is smarter than that" will said while the other two nodded.

they have to be full of themselves, for them to think this is about them!

"all that over... hockey?" summer said confused. hockey was the not a big deal in the oc, where she grew up. but then again, she remembers the quarterback from the cross town rival school, claiming to have her nudes; he didn't.

so I mean they could be right... but that seemed very high school to summer; this was college.

"why'd you say hockey like that" gabe said to her, not liking she said 'hockey' with a tone of disgust.

"I just don't think it's all that serious" summer said, trying to not offend them. obviously still getting under ones skin though, specifically gabe.

"hockeys not important?"

"no! I mean it is for people like you guys-" summer said trying to save herself but failing horribly.

"like us? what's that supposed to mean?" gabe said. he felt summer was some stuck up girl and even though he had found the girl to be quite attractive he didnt know if he liked her all too well.

"not like that. i mean it's important to hockey players and stuff, but like its not someones whole life, you know?" summer didnt even know if she knew exactly what she was trying to say.

"so now you think we have no life?" gabe said honestly just wanting to pick on the flustered blonde.

"oh my god, im just going to shutup" summer said taking a sip out of her vodka cranberry as will and jacob laughed. they decided they liked the girl, gabe not so much.

"do you even know anything, hockey related?" gabe asked still wanting to bicker with the girl.

"not really. I honestly forget its like a real thing out here" summer said.

"you don't think hockey's a real sport" gabe said as will and jacob rolled their eyes. they knew their friend and if they didn't know any better, they'd say he was flirting?

"who doesn't think hockey is a real sport!?!" frankie said, as her and ryan rejoining the group, seemingly on good terms. gabe pointed to summer.

"nice! I knew I liked you!" frankie said giggling as the boys rolled their eyes.

"I didn't even mean it like that, its just I grew up in california. and over there, the closest ice rink is probably three hours away"

"isn't there hockey in california? they have three NHL teams" jacob asked.

"californias big. where'd you grow up?" ryan asked the girl as he had an arm wrapped around frankie.

"the oc. newport beach" summer answered. god she missed her hometown.

"can you surf?" will asked her,

"yeah, pretty well actually. when I was sixteen i got a silver medal for it too" summer answered casually.

"OMG! you have to teach me I've been trying to learn for so long now!" frankie said excitedly, remembering the memory of her and her brothers failing miserably. it wasn't like wake boarding on the lake.

"you guys are free to join us anytime. my parents are traveling across europe, for like a year, so the house is just sitting there, its on the beach too" summer told them as the boys and frankie agreed.

gabe on the other hand just couldn't stop his thoughts of thinking summer was some stuck up girl. everything that came out of her mouth, just now, wasn't helping either. 'its on the beach by the way' who says that! gabe thought.

the night went on, frankie and summer unknowingly becoming the best friends they've always needed, ryan finally happy that him and frankie made it official, and the other three boys creating a friendship with the two girls, it was all just so college.

right now though, the night was close to finished and the boys were taking the two very drunk girls back to their apartments. girls who thought everything in that moment was the most hilarious thing in the world.

the group stumbled on a large hill and it didn't take long for the two girls to want to roll down it.

"frankie and summer don't you dare!" ryan said speeding up, seeing as the boys had been walking a couple meters behind the two girls.

the two girls ignoring his please and giggling. ryan turned his head to look at his friends as if he was giving them the mom look for help. gabe huffed and went to help him, with summer.

"one-" frankie started off as the two girls sat side by side holding each others hands

"two" summer said giggling

"GO!" frankie screamed seeing as the boys were right behind them.

the girls began to slide as ryan missed his attempt to lunge at frankie, while gabe not so much. he attempted to grab summer but lost footing and down he went along with them.

only causing the girls to laugh ten times more, at gabe. summer was laughing loudly, a sound that gabe didn't know if he hated or loved.

"you good gabe?" she said as she held a hand out to him, trying to hold back a giggle.

gabe obviously holding his pride, ignored her hand and got up on his own.

"you are absolutely insufferable" he huffed as he walked past her.

"c'mon perreault! don't be mad at summer! she's just a girl" frankie said as she saw gabe began to walk back up the hill towards the group.

"yeah! its not my fault you ate shit!" summer said, before the two girls unleashed laughter, once again. both taking breaks as they walked up the hill.

"you guys pissed gabe off, him and jacob left back to the dorms" ryan told the two as will began to hold summer up.

"I don't think he likes me very much" summer told them.

"well, your lucky I like you enough to help you" will said as she began to slump herself onto him.

"gabes just being like that because he thinks he's flirting" frankie said against ryans back as he decided to haul her up over his shoulder.

"ewwwww" a drunk summer let out. as the group laughed.

it had been a great night for them, except gabe of course.

[newrhys]

im insane and a nigel defender for life so heres my theory/take on like minds

i truely think that its likely Alex was the manipulator and nigel was the victim (to a degree).

this is kinda all over the place and just my thoughts so take everything with a grain of salt im just bored

we all agree that Alex is an unreliable narrator, and when it comes to the interrogation, it would but likely that Alex changed the story for a “solid” alibi to seem at least not guilty, which is very common behavior for people, especially younger people who have committed a crime to do.

most of my reasoning for this comes from the fact that he makes sure to include the detail that *somehow* nigel got into his room in the middle of night (assumably) and put a bloody knife and playing card on his desk.

it could be very likely that he had this whole alibi, that he "missed" his date with susan was entirely made up, that he made it seem like nigel was the one who planted the knife for "for fingerprint insurance” making nigel seem like this criminal mastermind to a degree.

that and also the hand that nigel “gifted him” could have also been a cover up for (maybe) that alex could have very likely been the reason why his friend let go of the train, by messing with his hand. idk on this one tho for sure honestly, though i feel like nigel care a lot about anatomy and dissection that it would be out of character for him to sever a hand.

AND that when alex was asked “how he was sure it was his friends” he said that it wouldnt make sense otherwise (or something along those lines) which honestly is kinda strange bc i would rather rationalize that its not my dead friends hand and just some fucked up prank but maybe thats just me.

you can look into real interrogations and its not unusual for people to make up these crazy complex and wild stories to victimize themselves to seem innocent, even when the story is strange or off putting or has holes.

especially because this is a time when the attention is all on them and what better way to ganer sympathy and attention that alex could have possibly lacked in his childhood then now in the interrogation. with someone who alex could have possibly seen as some sort of mother figure, because she listened to him, and embraced him when alex talked about nigel.

“well susans body was “disected” it had to be nigel” it could have also been alex copying in the way of something that nigel would have done to again, make the evidence point at nigel.

now, this theory is a bit spotty and honestly its not great I KNOW its just my thoughts ive had that ive wanted to share, because honestly i dont have a great reason for why nigel would have invited alex over to his house if not for nigel being a little shit, but who knows, that could have also been made up, and alex really was planning on killing nigel, and just happened to show up at that time

but that being said, im also not saying nigel has never killed anyone, i am just saying alex’s series of events is a bit weird, i do think nigel has some issues, but those probably due to the obvious abuse he as suffered as a kid, and his weird interest could be a symptom of that and his curious for dead things, i wouldnt be surprised if he had witnessed death early as a child seems how it was mentioned in the show that it can result in mental illness.

which kinda leads me to my next point, at the end, when alex totally doesnt kill nigel, and nigel kills himself, alex has a sort of smile at the end, that either he was happy nigel died or that he, really *did* kill nigel and he “enjoyed” it.

to add onto this, alex never really cried when he talked about his friends dying, he cried when he talked about how it made *him* feel and how when nigel had wanted him to get “freaky” per say with susan, he was crying in the interigation because it upset *him* and it was something bad that happened to *him*. im not a professional at all and i only know a little bit about mental illnesses but in certain personaility disorders,, its not uncommon for people to have intense feelings when it comes to something that effects themselves, and apathy towards other people.

and at the very end of the show, it shows that alex clearly has a pattern of this behavior, of manipulating people in certain ways. that its not something unusual for him to do, when he asks the teacher if it’s possible to get into someones head, its likely because hes the one who, atleast thinks, he has control of nigel.

anyways thats kinda just my collection of thoughts ive had about this movie for a long time so i thought id throw them out here, do with this as you wish. dont be too mean tho i am dyslexic and not the smartest lmfao. i just like yapping. obviously i dont know everything and i likely got information wrong which like whatever.

anyways im sick and bored and wanted to yap so maybe someone actually read this

[ganondoodle]

this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong

and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)

then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty

and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games

its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?

correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former

when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-

im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one

like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?

maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)

i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do

maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/

[thewitcheswitch89]

Ghostober 2024

by @kroas-adtam

Read on AO3 or Wattpad

I miss you!

Phone/Video

Copia x reader

Fluff

(listened to too many power ballads from the 80s today…not in the mood for smut…)

Copia was on tour and you hadn't seen each other for weeks. The only thing you had left was a phone call every night or a simple video call.

This night was no different. You were sitting in your bedroom, scrolling through social media. When you got a message from Copia.

"I'm in my hotel room right now. Can I call you?"

You read the message with a smile and replied immediately.

"Sure, call me!" you reply, and you've barely sent the message. A few minutes later, your phone rings. You answer it with a smile on your face.

"Hello, my love," you said, leaning against the headboard of your bed.

Copia sighed on the other end of the line.

"Mia cara... I've been waiting all day to hear your voice," he said, the rustling of the pillows audible. A deep sigh. Followed by a yawn.

"I wish I could be with you now!" you sighed, "I miss you!"

Copia laughed softly. "Oh Cara, you have no idea how much I miss you. Everything about you... your touch, your smell, your hugs... Everything...!"

"Everything?" you ask, lying down on the bed. Your eyes fall to his side of the bed. How much you wanted him to be beside you right now. You wanted to feel the warmth of his body, to bury your face in his chest and breathe in his scent.

A small sigh left your lips as you felt tears forming in your eyes. No, don't cry now...you thought to yourself. You did not want him to feel guilty. So you wiped away the tear. Even though he could not see it anyway.

"Yes...everything!", Copia's voice was soft.

"Falling asleep without you is hell," you pouted and rolled onto his side.

"Still...after all these weeks on tour?" he laughs. "I gave you my T-shirt!"

"That's not enough... it hardly smells like you anymore..." you said, resting your head on his pillow. His smell was very faint. Barely perceptible. That hurt your heart. You had never missed anyone so much. You had known it from the beginning, when the two of you started your relationship. That one day he would go on tour. But every day he wasn't there, you found it harder and harder to be without him. A little sniff escaped you and a tear rolled down your cheek.

"Amore...?", Copia's voice came through the phone. Of course he had heard it. And he knew exactly what was happening. "Don't cry ok...Ill be home soon...Just a few weeks ok!

But it was too late, the tears were streaming down your cheeks and you could not stop them.

" It's still too long...!" you whispered. You felt stupid for crying now. You tried to compose yourself and took a deep breath. "Its stupid, I know im a little crybaby! I'm sorry!".

" No, no...you are not stupid, mi amore...!" he said. And his voice made you miss him even more.

" I love you Tersoro...dont forget that!" he said and you could hear in his voice that he hated the way you were crying. It hurted him that he could not be there to hold you and wipe away your tears.

" I love you too Copia," you said. A small smile played on Copia's lips.

" You know what we do when I get home...I take you out Cara...I take you to that Italian restaurant I took you to on our first date," he whispered with a grin.  And you chuckled softly. This was what he had in mind. To make you forget your grief over his absence...and focus on the time he would be there after the tour was over.

"And we drink a lot of wine...and eat a lot of pasta...!" he said with a smile on his face.

You nodded, even though he could not see it.

" Yeah...yeah, that sounds good," you laughed now, wiping away a single tear. The prospect of seeing him again soon managed to push your sadness aside for a moment.

"And after that...I'll take you home...and we'll catch up on all the abstinence..." he said, his voice a little horsey now.  "How does that sound, Cara?"

You lay motionless on the bed, swallowing hard as you listened to him.

"Then I'll make it up to you...all the time I couldn't touch you...without your kisses and hugs...do you hear Cara?"

" Yes...I...I hear you!" you said, biting your lip. Your hand was on your stomach, grabbing your t-shirt. He knew exactly what he was doing to you. How much you longed for him while he was gone. He enjoyed teasing you. Making you leave without words.

" When I am home with you...in our bed...I will not let you go...I will take my time with you...making sure I do not leave an inch of your beautiful body untouched...!" he continued. You could hear him shifting on his bed, by the rustling sheets. You just lay there listening intently. Feeling your desire slowly grow as he continued. Your tears, which you had shared just a minute ago, were forgotten.

" I will peel you out of the dress that you will be wearing...that little black one...with the low back!" he murmured. "Mhh...I can imagine how you would tremble under my touch...so soft and warm...when I start to kiss your neck...finding that special spot there. Sucking on it...kissing it...before I would kiss my way further down...too...", then he stopped. You could hear him moving again. A low growl came from his throat. You whimpered inwardly as he paused. And your hands gripped your shirt tighter.

" What... what then?" you whispered, you wanted him to continue so badly. But he just laughed. Which made you squirm.

" Tell me, Mia cara...!" he said softly. "What are you wearing right now?"

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

(SAMS related)

Hey so maybe this is a stupid question, but I'm curious to hear your opinion....

What do you think they're doing with BloodMoon? On the one hand they're acknowledging how BloodMoons known nothing but hate and being used, which makes me sympathetic and seems to indicate a direction of change/redemption. But on the other hand, its FUCKING BLOODMOON. Hes garnered hate because hes an insane psychopath that has admitted that they enjoy the killing and dont see it as a curse. That's not someone you leave loose or free. It seems that solution is to kill them again, but that also seems like a waste cuz they JUST came back and now have a custom VR model.

I dunno, I'm sorry for rambling, I just want to hear what others think. Cuz to me they're giving us plenty of reasons and tidbits to want a BloodMoon redemption of some sort, but BloodMoon has seemed to make it very clear that they dont want to stop being the bloodthirsty killing machine and have "killed" and/or burned bridges with the individuals who would have TRIED to accept them. So I'm confused on how to feel and what to think....

I don't know honestly.

On one hand, they point out constantly BloodMoon's abandonment issues and him being constantly used as a tool.

While I am disappointed with how KC's death was handled, I do agree that he needed to be fridged by Bloodmoon in this case. (I just wish the circumstances aligned so KC didn't antagonize him for no reason and didn't throw his life away for no reason. And due to his inaction caused many more homeless people to possibly die, and now it seems like he was just feeding the homeless for clout on tinder and not genuinely care about these people.... I honestly find the stupid easy jabs at the homeless in the sams series kinda gross and while it has been toned down I still wish it would stop all together...)

And what I really think will happen, Bloodmoon wants to be fixed... but since his introduction... Bloodmoon (well, the old Bloodmoon, not the Bloodmoon based on Ruin's SAMS wiki lore... cause remember. This is Bloodmoon 2.0 with not all his memories in tact.)

He did seem to lament that he had these bloody cravings.

Yeah. I haven't forgotten this episode. Released on the Day of the actual Blood Moon.

(I kinda miss when they used to talk with their hands to convey which twin was which)

It was the first time we as a fanbase realized that his urge to kill is more of an addiction and he has said as much a few times.

And retrospectively, looking back on this episode, (cus at this point I didn't care about bloodmoon back then. It always takes me a bit to warm up to a new SAMS character) Bloodmoon is exceedingly lonely.

He has himself. But that's all. no one will ever really get him or understand him. And I think there's a great lament with that. Being unable to be understood from anyone outside of your twin or 'other'. Yeah, you have eachother, but no one else.

I'm wondering if Bloodmoon 2.0 has this episode in his memories. As he seems to be determined to rip and tear and kill.

My working theory right now is that Nice Eclipse WILL fix Bloodmoon as he wants..... but he'll also fix his cravings.

The best case scenario is that Bloodmoon will only crave shades of red.... and rare steaks....

or... this might cause complications in the duality of their nature, and maybe one of the twins might get broken, with the other needing to be alone for the first time since they woke up.

I don't know. I really think Nice Eclipse will pull through... and give Bloodmoon everything he wants, and more. Because I don't think Eclipse will readily fix Bloodmoon in his entirety and just let a homicidal maniac run loose and terrorizing everyone.

Bloodmoon was the only person Sun felt guilty about, and even Old Moon felt as if Bloodmoon, given enough time and the right circumstances could change.

We also know that Ruin Eclipse is possessed by the Ruin Virus. So he isn't in his right mind, and can easily be redeemed as well. He just needs that virus out of him.

I'm already seeing a lot of parallels with the Eclipse and Lunar takeover. And How Lunar was developing more as a person and strongly learning Eclipse was bad for him and the side of good.

Meanwhile, Bloodmoon is slowly figuring out that he's been used his whole life and he no longer wants to be a weapon for others. The only way he can prevent himself from being a tool in this way, is to not play the game.

Which I think Nice Eclipse is the key.

[archer3-13]

Iiiiiiii got through aaaaalllll the stormblood job quests. wo. and further more ho.

my advice to anyone doing this, outside of "get as many exp boosting items as you can", would be to only bother with picking up all the jobs far down the line. your soul will thank you for it.

like i only did it, cause i wanted to do all the job quests at relatively appropriate points in the story. but frankly very few of the job quests benefit from that approach storytelling wise so. yeah.

ranking the quests

dark knight. it gets off to a bit of a rough start, but its intentionally confusing nature works in this instance via returning to the jobs roots so to speak with soul partition. in this case, instead of the wol's repressed anger at always having to save the world, its the wol's repressed grief at the destruction and death that follows in their wake. and well the details could stand to be hammered out a bit, the quest on the whole handles itself quite well and has a show stopper ending that neither feels too overwhelming nor too easy and understated. ive heard it said that having the wol feel guilty over some of the figures myste summons is a lost cause, but thats rather missing the point. the point is not whether or not the wol is bad for killing them, so much as it is highlighting the very real sense of guilt that comes from such an action regardless especially when the humanity of these figures is constantly blasted into the wol's face.

samurai. solely because it makes me sad over what could have been if we actually got to play around in a hinagashi plot as opposed to it's kiddy pool in kugane. sadly it is also not a story i would cite as particularly memorable, which is a dire sign for the rest of the list frankly.

bard. the gay adventures between twink bard and twink lancer continue. another glimpse into "what could have been", in this case the fascinating world of geopolitics and cultural clashes between ala mhigo and gridania. blah blah, another example of how gridanias a lot more flexible and open minded then fans tend to make it out to be sure, but mostly i just find the subject of the autumn war fascinating as well as the topic of ala mhigo annexing land from gridania. theres a lot of story that could be built from that! that just isn't! fun! anyways, bard questline works and is also functional if understated.

astrologian. kyokashu is fun, and i'm always a sucker for the more weird supernatural side of things. its issue is that the front halfs offputting for no reason, and that its ending is just kinda eh despite some interesting mechanical play.

ninja. karasu continues to be the most fun character in these stories, and i like how the questline got ya doing more ninja stuff again. its ending definitely feels halfbaked though, if appropriate for something karasu would do. the thing holding it back is that theres not proper sense of escalation, even if all the cameos of previous npcs is fun.

dragoon. usually a highlight for me, sadly it was entirely inoffensive this time. not bad, just this is otherwise a kinda filler fluff kinda deal about helping a dragon kid get his mom and dad back together. cute dont get me wrong, and understandable given heavensward was "dragoon relevant story material, the game". just... kinda sad in relation to being the last proper dragoon questline.

warrior. i thought about putting it above dragoon cause i actually like it more overall. but then i thought about it in relation to the rest of the warrior questlines and remembered "oh yeah. this mess has been all over the place". so pretty good for stmb, but getting nocked down a point for "contexts" sake.

summoner. allagan robots and sentient tomes oh my. not a bad questline, but also kinda empty of anything interesting. everything the allagans show off is about per usual for what we've seen of them, and the sentient book is perfectly well adjusted and approaches everything that happens in a calm level headed fashion. this needed some kind of substantial dramatic hook, or to otherwise lean more into the fluff.

black mage. gets knocked down this far cause i feel it spins its heals on its interesting premise creating a dull overall story. on the other hand, it does salvage things by having some cute character writing all around.

machinist. getting to hang out with hilde sounds kinda fun, but it ends up being an aimless mystery plot that never gets off the ground. plus its final battle was weirdly annoying, and is just bizzare as a whole cause the lady randomly turns into a dragon and then is just not a dragon in the post battle cutscene.

red mage. left me with no strong feelings one way or another, and i feel it was a mistake to get so tied up in all this stuff on magic night freaks cause the story does jack shit with it. you had vampires, and you completely wasted it!!

monk. we are belabouring the fuckin point really, as this is all pretty much shit we've done before but with a new coat of paint.

white mage. normally im an advocate for the white mage questlines, but this one annoyed me in particular, mostly because i found the mother largely unsympathetic in her actions which mostly read as selfish, reactionary and controlling. at most i think her initial actions are understandable if impulsive. afterwards she just annoys me, not helped by her daughter being written as a "perfect lil angel who can do no wrong" kinda stock kid that hacks use when they dont want to write an actually interesting lil kid but still want you to care for them. everyone else is written pretty darn well, see the bard questline rankings about gridania, and i would rank this higher if the emotional heart of the story, the mother and her daughter, were at all written in a competent or compelling fashion.

scholar. made me realize that well i dont mind the nym characters, i actually kinda hate the lil glasses marauder whos attached to you the entire time. its an irrational hatred, but it remains all the same cause i find him both annoying and boring at the same time. another questline that feels like retreading old ground, but at the disadvantage of not being able to pick a lane which means the story runs out of steam by the time it gets anywhere. i always like learning more about adampor, nym and the magi city states however. just... this isn't a good questline.

paladin. suddenly we vear hard back into the gladiator stuff, cause i guess the paladin omegaverse just wasn't hooking anyone. the biggest sin this one commits is that it half assess its premise and has nothing interesting to provide. the actual plot is so inconsequential it gets wrapped up off screen, and we speed our way into a final fight with the blade of naid that was so easy and boring i felt genuinely kinda insulted. combine this questline with the heavensward ones sections about raising that lil elezen dude into a free paladin, and we might actually have something worth a damn.

and as a special side note for anyone who got to the bottom here. general thoughts on the gunbreaker and dancer job intro quests, which i am including separate and leaving unranked cause arbitrary reasons.

gunbreaker is... eh. its the samurai plotline but the teacher doesn't die and generally less emotionally investing. got me interested in whats gonna come up in shb though.

dancer made me think the plot was gonna go in a completely different direction at the start, but instead it just ends up being a pretty stock generic "the power of dance to move peoples souls and exorcise evil spirits" kinda deal. i do enjoy peoples reactions to the wol picking up dancing though, thats genuinely funny.

[sirxlla]

Bigger Picture

------------------------------------------------

Warnings: Fluff

Prompt: Reading with Tim on the very little time off he has during his "vacation." (aka Art told him to go home and forced him a few days off.)

Notes: female reader, italics are actions and thoughts.

-With that said it's all under the cut-

You ran you hands through Tim's hair as he laid down on the couch with his head in your lap, your fingers in his hair and nails gentle against his scalp earned a few hums of content from those pretty lips of his. He was reading Harry Potter for the first time, he didn't tell everyone but he was an avid reader. Tim always loved to read to decompress after work, it usually pulled his mind away from whatever bullshit he was dealing with.

You had told him to get audible so he could listen to them and he politely declined, a normal book book let him stay alert to his surroundings whereas an audio book didn't. Just general perks of being with someone that was in the military, they have to have the seat facing the door, they have to know where all exits are, checks the doors like three time before bed amongst other things like the way he made the bed, the way he combed his hair, the way he couldn't sleep past six and the nightmares of his time in Iraq.

"I just can't believe Art sent me home, I mean that girl needs my help." There was something about this case that was driving him up the wall and he couldnt pinpoint it.

"Maybe he thinks its cause youre too close. Maybe getting away will help you get a fuller picture." You offered your advice hoping to help calm the irritation in that Texan accent with more than just your hands.

"I feel like fuckin Blue's Clues putting all this shit together on my own then Art pulls me out and crates me." He huffs, clearly chomping at the bit to try to figure out this piece of the puzzle.

"Hey, Blue is cute, you're sexy...Entirely different." A smile graced your lips as you responded, You had spent a lot of time with him and he had encouraged a sharp tounge and quick wit. It hadnt been perfect but you were getting better at it.

"Blue didnt get punished for doing his job." Again another huff left his throat as you looked down at him.

"Art's not gonna be the only one punishing ya if you dont quit huffing, makes me feel like you dont wanna spend time with me." You stated as this was the only time you two had even remotely gotten to chill together or relax in a while.

"I'm sorry, Honey. I'm just stressed over it." His tone changed a bit.

"I don't mind you talking about the case, Baby. Im sorry, I was being selfish." Your tone changed as well, you didnt want him to feel guilty for doing his job like Winona did to Raylan.

"I just dont know why she wont talk to me, she knows its the only way to get her protection." He's still tryna scramble his brain on why this woman wouldnt talk considering she's got no reason in his mind not to.

"Maybe she wants protection for her and someone else? She got a boyfriend, best friend, mom, dad?" You asked trying to be helpful in any way you could and your outside perspective sometimes gave him that aha moment with something he'd overlooked.

"She doesn't really have anyone else. Her Daddy died when she was a kid, her Momma ran off to shithole Indiana and her boyfriend's in the Lexington jail right now for her ratting him out." He leaned his head back into your lap but that was when he noticed a bit about your belly and boobs, they were slightly larger.

"Are you pregnant?" He asks with a bit of wonder and excitement.

"Yeah, I- I was gonna tell you at dinner tonight." Your tone was nervous, tracing his nose gently knowing your kid will look so similar. He eyes flitted back and forth in realization of you but also the case.

"I think you just helped me figure this out! She's afraid that if she says something she'll go to jail and then she can't be a be a mother within prison walls." He grabs his phone and calls Raylan to update him on whats going on. Tim's brain was always slightly on work but thats just what came with dating someone in a profession as such.

You kissed his neck as he chatted with Raylan, teeth gently nipping at his neck which caused Tim to cut his conversation short.

"I gotta go, Raylan. Keep me in the know." He said before he hung up quickly with a mischevious smile on his face.

"Oh, youre getting it now!" He laughs as he picks you up and carries you back to your bedroom whilst you giggle and squeal as he tickles you.

That night was similiar to others to come, his hands on your belly, he did that every night. He was proud of you for being so strong but also so paitent with him, dating any first responder type wasnt easy and his being so much worse cause he was often being shot at in one of these shithole Kentucky hollers. You were all he could ask for, strong, paitent, kind and goddamn gorgeous.

Masterlist <- -> Tim Masterlist

[odysseys-blood]

theres a lot of back and forth about paimon especially so i just wanna put in my two cents about it bc speculation on paimon and gender can be tricky and theres a lot to take into consideration. this isnt an end all be all post and not the best written but im just speaking from my place as someone who is trans (though i myself am tme) and works with gender themes in my own characters so this is gonna be kinda long

So! Paimon

a lot of the issue from the back and forth stems from how paimon is written by default. When you meet paimon, he's designated as just a pretty boy that likes to crossdress and they emphasize heavily that paimon is a man every time they talk about his femininity and how he presents himself.

Now crossdressing itself is not at all transphobic, hell drag is a big thing and its not uncommon for queens do figure out that they're transfem when they get into it. In fact a lot of queer people do push to erase gender boundaries within clothes because in the end....clothing is just cloth wear what you want be who you want to be, whether it be a woman wearing masc clothing, a man wearing femme clothes, or anyone just wearing something neutral feeling.

Where it becomes a problem is the push to enforce paimon's masculinity at every turn. While its good that paimon isn't a character that's put in to be played for laughs (as feminine men and trans women often are in media), it comes off odd in a way for paimon to have a feminine voice, dress femininely, love feminine things...and then at every point have it enforced heavily that paimon is a man. THAT is where a lot of the issue stems from at when you see it happening as someone who has seen transmisogyny (if this is your first time seeing the word, its transphobia that arises specifically for a trans woman being a woman. ergo the word being a mix of transphobia and misogyny) in practice it looks worrying. When you're someone who knows how to spot this kind of thing it can feel like paimon's gender nonconformity is being demonized (while they also highlight it. its an odd mix).

This isn't to say that it is a concious thing that's being pushed either i'm not saying the writers are personally transmisogynists at all, HOWEVER since transphobia and transmisogyny is rampant in society to the point where it subconsciously controls biases, thats how it can come off transmisogynistic. Think of it as similar to racism: even if you think you yourself are not racist theres still likely biases you have picked up or have been taught just because theyre so pervasive in society. This doesnt mean its your fault it just means its something that you have to unlearn conciously and put in the work to do so.

This is also not just a problem with whb because again like i said, its systemic. Think about other characters in media who are written this way, such as Bridget from Guilty Gear, or Vivian from Paper Mario. While these two are different in that their status as trans women have been solidified, the treatment they've gotten is largely the same. Especially bridget considering how she for the longest was the poster child for the "femboy" archetype and how femininity is enforced yet also discouraged in these characters until she was finally labeled transgender in gg strive.

All this to say...its messy and theres a lot of points to consider so there really isnt a reason to go at each others throats. Using paimon's canon pronouns and gender isn't exactly a problem and neither is choosing to instead see paimon as a transgender woman and using she/her pronouns. But at the very least it doesn't hurt to educate yourself also and understand why paimon's writing can come off transmisogynistic and transphobic. WHB is not a game thats heralding itself on being progressive (even if there are aspects to it that might seem so) so there's not much to expect from it in that regard but still we can be mindful and discussion isnt bad.

(also a footnote i dont think ive seen any transfem or tma players of whb in the tag....ever but if anyone is and wants to add on or thinks ive overstepped let me know)

[d-o-n-n-i-3]

sorry for venting sm, i js need to get shit offa my mind. anyways heres another because im whiny asf

im beginning to realize that im eating a lot less. i. didnt think that i was doing so bad, until today. i ate something small yesterday, i think. definitely not enough though. i ate a little bit more than yesterday today. and ive come to realize, at 9 pm tonight, that i cant remember the last time i was full. i cant remember the last time i actually looked at my body and felt a positive emotion until today. and i only felt it because i realized id definitely lost weight. i dont have an eating disorder (thats diagnosed) but ive felt like this off and on since i was 11. 12 was a really bad age, i neglected to eat for weeks, and if i did i cut myself for doing so. it sucked, and still sucks because i like. miss it? i miss having control. the growling of my stomach not making me try and fill it, but try and give it even less. less than nothing. i used to throw up my meals a lot too. recently, ive been throwing up my meals again, but because im so tense. i cant remember a time i wasnt shaking since last wednesday, when i had a fight with my dad. and im dizzy. im so dizzy and my legs are shaking when i just try and put any weight on them. im not light, by any means. im muscular, but i have a sleeper build so it doesnt really show.

but fuck. it feels. freeing to be hungry. it feels right, because i think- no, i know - its what i deserve. i always also feel better when im hungry, and it feels like a long war finally being won when my stomach grumbles in protest to what im doing. but it feels so right. my mom would be pissed if she found out. but like. this weekend, shes now seen my eating patterns. i only ate just a little bit of what my aunt and uncle cooked because i felt bad. also they kind of. pressured me to make a plate, first before anyone else. i understood that i couldnt stall. during todays "dinner" i sat on the balcony, and didnt touch my food. i just stared off into space for a long while, then i came inside and said i couldnt stomach it. and my aunt didnt really care, and neither did my mom.

also sleeping. last night, i had my first beer. i stole it and drank it in the night, at like 3 something in the morning. i only went to sleep at around 3:30 because of it. i stashed another one in a cabinet down here, too (the basement). i dont feel guilty at all honestly, and im probably gonna do it again, but stay up later. but also, my eye bags are reeeeaaaaally prominent. i talked to my gf and mentioned id slept for 3 hours on thusrday night, and she said she could tell. i probably havent been sleeping as well as i used to because i havent been taking my meds. because they nulled my emotions. but now, off of them, my emotions are barely there. im feeling practically nothing. im faking so hard. i told my therapist that im pretended to be fine around everyone because i dont want to worry them, and she said that i needed to stop. but heres the thing. i cant. i cant risk losing my mom's trust, i cant risk losing my friends comfort in me (basically coming to me when they have a problem. i give advice, or just listen. either way, i am NOT losing that because my whiny ass said something stupid.), and i cant risk losing face. although im kinda doing that on here. airing out my dirty laundry for all to see. maybe i should stop.

i dont want to, but it might be for the best. i wanna stop doing a lot of things. one of those things i dont wanna do is something that ive been trying to want for so long. its living. i havet thought this way in so long. its nice though, a comfort to feel this way. because ive felt it for so long. ive felt it ever since i can remember. i dont know how to just. fully stop thinking like this. is it so bad that i dont want to? is it so bad that i just want to feel? even if its actively taking its toll on me? these are rhetorical questions, of course, not meant to be answered. i dont think i want to know the answer, anyways.

uh im probably done yappin for now. if you dont wanna see this shit lemme know asap please.