#as i am aware many are very tired of this
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@greatqueenanna I am sorry i just replied you rn (4 years later), i got overwhelmed, didn't know how to reply and forgot about this post lol.
Despite them each other having different tone of skin, hair, eyes, etc to each other, i think they are still looks pretty distinctive looks that makes them still different from Arendellian. I don't think it even need deep analysis to notice.
All Northuldran have higher cheekbones, more structure face, and dark hair. All of them looks the same, and it's understandable. Even the picture of sami people (that they use as inspiration and reference for Northuldran people) are all have their own distinctive look. Like i can see they have features you can say "Oh they looks like sami people". Honestly, i don't see them as diverse, except different hair color.
Only Arendellian that have diverse look to it's people.
Of course they have "Eurocentric" features, Norway is in Europe hehehehe
I don't think it was deceptive of me to compare Iduna and Honeymaren because at the time the movie only explained that Iduna was from Northuldra, Honeymaren is from Northuldra, thus why i was questioning "Why she looks different alone????" Why is that made me deceptive? It was the most logical thing to compare them.
Of course it was before "Dangerous Book" released, so no explanation for Iduna being adopted. If i do that now, sure it makes me stupid. But still, if they have intention making Iduna as "Native" so they can make her as the representation of certain group they tried to represented, why didn't they make it more vague? Like, simply made some of the Northuldran have similar face like Iduna.
I didn't mean to deny Iduna's heritage, i surely should have wrote it better, but please forgive me for my lack of skill for the languange (I am not english speaker and sadly it happened a lot). I am more into feeling enough and complained a lot how Disney and several Hollywood's movie production at the time very "shamelessly" making movies that said they want to represent certain minority group but only if it is fit to their narrative or if it is fits for the plot only but never taken seriously. It's like making a biography about black person that have skin and look as Viola Davis, then choose Zendaya to play the part. Or making the plot with the character from SEA native, yet casted an East Asian actor/actrees for it. I hope you get what i mean and what i aim to.
Sure it sounds insensitive when it just simply taken "Oh you surely not A-Race cause you don't look like it" But, that's what based on my though about it, so i also feel it's pretty insensitive for people to refuse to acknowledge that things like that happen too. Things like "the presented group doesn't really presented as how they should be".
Disney have many routes to play this "Oh they related to Northuldra", they can make Kristoff related to them, they can make Elsa-Anna's grandma related to them, they can make them their early ancentors, etc. But they choose to label an already existed character with already well known look to fit into a certain group of people just so they can make it a love story and suddenly the genocide never happen and suddenly the Northuldran just "have to" forgive the sisters, like do you realize how terrible that sounds? Many movies, stories, anything use this kind of plot to make people tolerate colonizers being colonizers in their colony's land, look at Pocahontas story made by Disney (althou i LOVE that movie), it happened a lot and i just feel tired when i see it Disney did it in Frozen 2 too.
But, thankfully, in the last of 4 years, more people seems to be more aware of it and dare to speak up about it. I am truly sorry, i just realized how it seems like my topic went everywhere. I really appreciate your reply in the reblog, i've seen you have a pretty trustful reputation in frozen fandom community with your dicussion, so hopefully i get to deliver my reply pretty well đ
âPART OF THEMâ
It still absurd to me whenever i read articles or when Disney said âIdunna is actually native Northuldranâ. LikeâŚ. Wheeeere?
They portrayed this Northuldran have their own characteristic like higher and prominent cheekbones, wider space between eyes, almond and upturned eyes, wilder nose, stronger jawline, and DARKER SKIN.
And then they show Idunna who is looks like nothing resemble and Northuldran. They tried to show her part of ânativeâ with her darker skin while she was A CHILD like that even not making more laughable.
She have this pretty princess normal Arendelle type face, extremely pale, nothing like the Northuldran. Does our appearance can drastically change depends on where we live? Will i be suddenly have caucasianâs characteristic if i ever move to North Europe?
âSkin can be lighter when you grow up.â
Yeah, then at least we can see some Northuldran have skin as light as Elsa then, especially since they never got the sun touch all this time.
I also find it so ridiculous for the part when Elsa and Anna said they are part of them and the Northuldran suddenly just accept them and be like âthe past is in the past, forget that they betrayed us and tried to colonize usâ despite they just reach there not even 10 minutes ago.
Itâs make me thinking, is that how westerners still see native people? Especially to the place they was trying to colonize?
âWe are part of you.â Yeah. I think thatâs the magic words it seems. At least thatâs what they seems to show in the movie.
Maybe because itâs the easiest way to make a community suddenly fond of you and accepting you (althought itâs tacky indeed.)
If they stuck like that because Idunnaâs face already default from F1, they can make the Northuldranâs face looks more like Idunna instead. Or maybe making Agnaarâs mother as the one from Northuldra considering we never saw her and they have more freedom to create new character. Or just not making them related and completly making Arendelle have redemption arc towards the Nortuldran.
Not like making Idunna as part of the Northuldran despote she doesnât resemble anything from her tribe. What is this? Avatar live action by Night M. Shyamalan?
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i went to bed early last night cause i was pretty ridiculously tired, and i knew staying up would not change what I would see upon waking. i may not live in the country, but it is the country of my birth, where i still vote, and where all of my immediate family live. it is where my friends are, where people i care about have made homes and lives. and it is also where other people live and i care about them even though i'll never know them. it's devastating to see that he's got such a lead, that news outlets are calling it when i'm not even sure every vote has been counted. we know there were many mail-in ballots this year as with the last time. we know that it took days for Biden to be called the winner. we have lived through this before. and also, we haven't. i wanted to see a voting record unquestionably in her favour, as a florida voter i'm always hoping that we'll turn the state blue again. i was joking around with my dad about it last night, even. and to wake up and not see that? it's not. well. it's not unexpected. I am a person who strongly, strongly lives in hope. i'm also a very pragmatic person. i'm aware of the reality that i live in, despite how disconnected i feel from it, and despite how much i hope for better. trump's lead is not surprising me, it is devastating nonetheless. you don't want to live in a reality where people gladly vote for an idiot to run their economy because he's good at lying about how smart he is with business and the media props him up, you don't want to live in a reality where there are other countries interfering with the election cycle from day one to push people from voting democratic, you don't want to live in a reality where people again, gleefully ate up interference and refused to vote. and you don't want to live in a reality where a large number of people just refuse to see your humanity. but as a Jew. as a disabled, trans, Jew -- i know i live in this reality. as busted and unpleasant as it is. and despite living in this reality, i also know that there is good out there. that we do persevere and survive. we continue to fight for a better future, for our children and their children, for the waterways, the animals, the prairies and the forests. we do not stop because hatred is loud and easy. we continue because we know that love and compassion are a through-line of humanity and we, all of us, get to decide how that continues. we will dance again.
#election 2024#us politics#i am so very sad right now#but this isn't over#it will never be over#take care of yourselves my dears#and reach out to ask for help and companionship#you do not have to go this alone
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American Television after 5 years of pushing for queer representation: I hope you wanted unnecessary drama, angst with a maybe resolution, and three unfulfilling seasons of questionably written flirtation. And that all comes before anything is half-confirmed with a singular lukewarm kissing scene between two conventionally attractive, white bisexual women!
Thai Television .3 seconds after they figured out queer content is marketable: Did you want something kinky, soft, or stupid? Did you want cat ears? Weâve got cat ears! Weâve got safe/sane/consensual OR off-the-charts bad etiquette BDSM. Weâve got college students out the ass! As long as theyâre an engineer or architect, choose your flavor. Do you want an age gap or classmates? Something for adults? Teens? Everyone was childhood besties, how about that??? This is a short order restaurant and I will flip you some gays like theyâre hotcakes, just tell me what you want.
#yes i am aware that this simplifies a lot of larger cultural and sociopolitical issues#yes i am aware that gay marriage is legal here and not in thailand#yes this is a joke please do not come for my very short wig#i am so tired#anyway#thai bl#american tv#teen wolf i'm looking at you#also supernatural#and the 100#jesus christ in heat there's so many examples#too many#kinnporsche#love in the air bl#lita the series#kpts#bad buddy#bed friend#meow ears up#between us#uwma the series#between us the series
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yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24
#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD#they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovskĂ˝ but thatâs my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#thatâs my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like#âyeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah weâre gonna make them lose.â & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid#where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd#also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society#and sorry to get like this on a silly little post iâm about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovskĂ˝ hours but so much of this goes back#to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english#and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole#e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more âvaluableâ capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl#is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency theyâre doing nothing to#support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition#programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway#juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun#at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl#syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me#you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount#of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him#AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life#'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy đ¤ˇ' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it#arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovskĂ˝#arber xhekaj#david reinbacher#cayden primeau#montreal canadiens#i'm xhekovskĂ˝ posting leave me alone i'm also *****
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Hey, no worries! I understand life gets in the way sometimes, haha. Sorry to hear you're feeling under the weather, Maia! â¤ď¸â𩹠But hey, always a good excuse to curl up and do a bit of reading, at least~
I love that there's a clone grapevine and no one is safe from it. From the shinies all the way up to Fox, everyone's going to hear about what they've done!
Yessss. I took a bit of inspiration from things my brother told our family about during his time in the service. They called their rumor mill the "PNN", or Private News Network. (I was đ¤thisđ¤close to calling it the 'Clone News Network' in the fic!) Using a rumor mill felt like the perfect way to start the fic and explain how Wolffe would have heard about what happened on Coruscant.
Some inspiration for meeting Fox in a diner was taken from @the-bad-batch-baroness's heart-aching and amazing Where's Mommy? series; the idea for it being Dex's Diner in particular came a bit later in the pipeline.
But it became the perfect setting the more research I put into this fic for so many reasons.
Canonically speaking [depending on the sources used], Dex's Diner made for a good meeting spot for criminals because Dex is welcoming and doesn't believe in intruding in other people's business. (He's also got his own criminal past, so, who's he to judge?) FLO promising Wolffe no one would know what he was there for was very deliberate. It essentially ensured the discussion would never disrupt or change canon.
Pointing out that Dex is a Besalisk would become the PERFECT way to bring up not just Pong Krell, but the other (in)famous instance that Fives had a blaster turned on him by his own brothers. (Something that, again using the C.N.N., Wolffe would have likely heard about at some point or another.)
FLO scanning Wolffe was not intended to be dystopian, but I completely understand why it reads that way! Somewhere in my research I did into the WA-7s said they had facial-recognition software to identify regular patrons. I felt that was something Wolffe would likely be aware of and would fit perfectly into his hypervigilant nature. (Which would make him more likely to reflect on the style of the diner and the way things change around him all the time!)
And the unease. Every little fact about Fives' death would have caused Wolffe unease no matter what. But put him somewhere that is not affiliated with the GAR (or the Jedi) in any way, and it will be the perfect breeding ground for doubt and uncertainty to grow unchecked if Wolffe isn't careful. Coupled with the fact he hasn't seen Fox in a while?
You're right that Fox would be able to tell just how shaken, how stressed out Wolffe would be over this, no matter how much time they've been apart, too. No matter how little time they've been given to work together.
Even if Fox was tired. And I mean really tired.
I imagine (headcanon?) that after killing Fives, Fox would have thrown himself hard into Guard-work in order to avoid dwelling [read as: second guessing] on his call he had to make that night. The order he was given by Palpatine amounted to "ARC trooper Fives is a fugitive. He's armed and dangerous." and he had to act on his own authority from that point. And we know the rest from there.
But we'll still say it was Palpatine who made that call, because he's easier to blame. (Between the chip and his training, Fox never truly had a choice.) The Chancellor certainly won't need to know why he can't get ahold of the Marshal Commander for an hour or two while he and Wolffe get that nap.
Force knows they need it.
Woof. This took a couple hours to write on-and-off because I had so much (sorry lmao!) I wanted to share about what went into this fic; and I am incredibly honored to hear that you enjoyed it not just once, but twice. That means a lot, truly. đŠˇ
Hey Frost đ! Happy 200 Followers đĽł!!
For the event I would love to submit an idea! What about an angsty Wolffe confronting Fox after he shoots Fives đ?
Congrats!
The Tragedy of Level 1325 [Commander Wolffe Fic]
Warnings and Information: Clones killing their own kin is always an awful occurrence, more often than not a rare and accidental thing. So when Commander Wolffe catches wind of what happened on Level 1325, he meets with the other canine-themed Commander to get answers. And none of them will be easy to get, or, to hear. Set after the Clone Wars season six episode âOrdersâ. Lots of angst and heavy stuff in this one, folks! Heavy references/allusions to Fivesâ death. Heavy references/allusions to canon-typical death, violence and injury. Reference to Pong Krell. Star Wars and real-world swearing. Minimal Mandoâa. Narrative and stylistic use of italics.�� **This is not a cloneship/clonecest fic. Tag it as such and you will find yourself blocked.**
Word count: 4,287
How fast word travels in the GAR is both a blessing and burden.Â
Regardless of the distance, time of day, or paint color, brothers will hear what the others have gotten up to in-between their conquest to defeat the Confederacy of Independent Systems. A rookieâs foolish notion to prank his superiors that ends with him earning himself a monthâs worth of latrine duty. The terrible pick-up lines learned from holomags (and their success, or lack thereof) used on other patrons of 79âs. Brave charges lead out of killboxes and ambushes.
Clones turning on their own kin - that bitter pill was hard to stomach.Â
Commander Wolffe found himself choking down one such pill upon hearing the events of the night before.Â
It didnât make a difference how many times he consulted the datafile in front of him, the mingling of horror and disbelief settled just as heavily in his heart each time. The primary commander of the Coruscant Guard had been the one behind the blaster used to end a Cloneâs life on Level 1325, and it had not been an accident either. This was not another case of some sleemo stealing and wearing a Cloneâs full kit; it had been, without question, a brother.Â
Clones were less uniform than many nat-borns would like to believe. They may look the same from the texture of their hair, to their face-shape, and the warm-brown skin, but thatâs often as far as the similarities go. They found their originality in names, speech-patterns, scarring, the way hair was cut (or bleached or dyed or styled), the addition and location of injected ink. There were the occasional (minor) aberrations, too, of course; like the brothers who ended up ocean-eyed, or blond.Â
(They at least knew where the blondeness came from; a dormant echo in the genetics of the man who served as the master mold for the Grand Army.)
Not to mention the paint, and the patterns. The paint job was perhaps the biggest, most important piece of their individualism (at least externally). Those working in tandem with the soldiers relied quite heavily on the personalization to their second skins when first introduced.Â
So when the datafile in Wolffeâs hands tells him the armor worn by the dead trooper was not his own, a sense of confusion as well as a wave of mild horror washes over the flint gray commander. The deceased was one of the 501st Legionâs cobalt crusaders, yet the ARC trooper had been killed in an unpainted, second skin that had been stolen from another.Â
Why?
So many why-s.
When asking if his brother would agree to meet with him, it had taken some convincing. Foxâs agreement ultimately came with conditions, which were thankfully simple. Find somewhere in CoCo Town - as he was due to patrol that near that sector in a few hours time - and find some caf that didnât taste like droid oil.Â
There, Commander Fox would attempt to provide as many answers to Wolffeâs questions as he could.Â
Though he couldnât promise thereâd be answers for all of them.
Entering the eighth eatery, Wolffe tries putting a little more trust in this dinerâs advertising than each of the establishments he tried earlier. âBest food this side of the Senate District!â A tagline like that would have to do a lot of heavy lifting for a greasy diner in a dilapidated industrial area.Â
Inside, the diner has been furnished with several deep booths with shiny red seats as well as a long countertop that offers a glimpse into the kitchen through a narrow viewport. The decor is a mix of chrome and neon. While itâs perhaps not what Wolffe would call his favorite style, he had to give whoever ran the place credit for a cohesive, and constant, theme.Â
This place looks like it hasnât changed in years. Too often, Wolffe finds once-favorite establishments rehauling their menus, revamping the theme, gutting whatever charm the place had between his deployments. Itâs a damn shame. Corsucant changes too quickly top-side; all of it fueled on someone elseâs pursestrings, no doubt.Â
Noticing his arrival, a WA-7 waitress droid, idly chatting with a pre-dawn client, pardons herself to welcome the prospective customer. Assuming heâll be subjected to a facial recognition scan, Wolffe holds himself in near-militant attention until the droid speaks.Â
âWelcome to Dexâs Diner! What can I get for you, hon?â
The first question he has for the waitress is the state of the dinerâs caf.Â
âIs your caf instant?â
The droidâs feminine programming and friendly inflection does its best to make up for an inability to smile. (He finds it a little unsettling all the same.)
âItâs brewed in-house, every hour on the hour.âÂ
Wolffe regards a small chronometer on the wall, displaying what his body-chrono already knows. Just a half-hour before dawn. Perfect. Depending on how far away Fox is, it shouldnât take long for his vod to find his way here. Coruscant had been under the watchful eye and capable hand of the crimson commander very shortly after the start of the war; if anyone knew their way around this massive labyrinth of a planet, it would be Fox.Â
âGood enough.â Wolffe says with a thankful nod. âSaves me the trouble of finding another place.â
âLooking for something to eat?â
âNot exactly. Iâm supposed to meet with someone.â he explains, sending the name of the diner to Foxâs comlink while the WA-7âs back is to him, asking him to follow behind. Sheâs got just the spot for him.Â
She shows Wolffe to a booth in the back-left corner, where he can already tell at a glance that the padding under the seat material is worn thin and unevenly. (Well, heâs sat in worse seats.) Itâs secluded, just enough, that it should afford him and his brother a little more privacy. He unseals his helmet as quietly as he can to avoid disturbing the other patrons, and sets the sunbonnet down on the table.Â
âYour business isnât our business,â the droid promises to Wolffeâs great confusion as he works to seat himself as gracefully as possible with the kama, âso rest assured that whoever youâre meeting, we wonât tell a soul.âÂ
âOkay⌠I appreciate that.âÂ
Wolffe straightens out his modified phase two helmet on the tabletop, dismissing the waitressâs offer to get him something to start with while he waits. Glass of Jawa Juice, perhaps? Itâs a house special.Â
A mash of bantha hide and fermented grain so early in the morning doesnât sound particularly appealing.Â
âNothing right now, thank you.â
The WA-7 nodded. âSuit yourself, hon. Give a holler when youâre ready.â
It wouldnât be long from now. Fox had sown the seeds for a system the Corries called âZeros and Fivesâ when it came to meeting their vode for non-military matters. Seeking out Fox for answers wasnât technically an emergency, but it should hopefully be treated with a little more urgency seeing as Wolffe couldnât wait around all morning. With the Generalâs help, he had to fabricate time-sensitive duties to excuse his presence on Coruscant earlier than expected.Â
Some poodoo about retrieving something-or-other under the Generalâs orders. Records of research from the Chief Librarian of the Jedi Archives, Jocasta Nu.Â
Records of what kind of research, he wasnât sure.Â
That comes later. Now, he was waiting for Fox. Wolffe checks his comlink for any response to his choice of locale, finding only a silent âSeenâ status. Well, heâll take it to mean his vod wonât be waving down the suggestion.
With little more than his comlink and the datafile to keep him occupied, the flint gray commander settled in for what could end up being a long wait in the event Fox ran into trouble on patrol. How long he would end up waiting would be inconsequential, so long as he got answers and insight to the root of this tragedy. Something to rationalize the reality of losing brothers to something other than Separatists and their sympathizers.Â
He just had to ask himself why he was doing this. Why he cared so much, what he hoped to find. Maybe even who he was doing all this for.Â
Was it for Fox, hoping to get ahead of the inevitable boiling point the rumors might reach?
Was it for Captain Rex, finding some shred of information that may bring closure to the death of one of his best men?
Was it for Fives, given the death of an ARC trooper was no insignificant thing? Was he hoping to find reason, or just cause?
Or was it for his own morbid curiosity, given other details of the deceasedâs service file?
Commander Wolffe couldnât be certain until his brother was dragging his over-caffeinated carcass through the doors of the diner, and down to the last booth on the left. He couldnât be certain Fox would be forthcoming with those answers, either. Or the state the other commander would be in.Â
Fifteen minutes before the next hourly pot of caf is made, Fox shuffles into the diner, quiet and wordless. Not in the sense of stoicism; rather fatigue. Ignoring the greetings of the waitstaff, he walks himself down to the booth once heâs found Wolffe in his visor. Like his fellow commander, Foxâs helmet remains over his head until he reaches the table, at which point he unseals, and drops it with a dull thud half an inch over the table.Â
âGood to see you, Fox.â Wolffe says.
That was a lie. Perhaps only partially. He wished if he was paying the crimson commander a visit here on Coruscant, it would have been under better circumstances. With better beverages as well. The last time Wolffe had seen his brother, he was promised a splash of spotchka and the opportunity to properly talk about the Abregado disaster when next they met. To mourn the loss of Wolffeâs men and the change to his armor. They started this war named after members of the Canidae and painted in beautiful shades of red.Â
Now they were just a couple of canines.Â
Fox makes no immediate greeting. With a tired grumble, he drops into the booth, a small betrayal to the tireless façade the Corries had come to be known for.Â
âSorry to make you wait,â he says at last, propping his elbows on the table as he begins rubbing one bleary eye, âPatrol took longer to button up than anticipated.â
âThatâs fine.â Wolffe replied, just relieved the other canine commander was here.Â
Doing her rounds, the same service droid as before approaches the brothersâ booth and asks if theyâd like anything to eat while they conduct their business. (She doesnât suggest Jawa Juice this time.) Wolffe takes her up on the offer for the freshest cups of caf that would be ready not too long from now. Just as the droid goes to send in the order to the back-of-house, she takes another look at Foxâ currently in the process of falling asleep at the table âand thinks better of it.Â
â... Iâll tell Dex to make it a carafe.â
When the caf is prepared, instead of sending it out with the service droid, FLO, Dex himself brings it out from the kitchen to the front-of-house.Â
And Dex had certainly not been what Wolffe imagined him to look like.Â
Standing roughly 1.88 meters tall by the commanderâs estimation, the owner of the diner was a heavyset Beskalisk who wore an ill-fitting, heavily stained white shirt and apron that had certainly seen better days. Making use of the four arms in his possession, Dex carried the carafe with the lower set, and a pair of mugs in a third, upper hand.Â
Wolffe hides any surfacing unease after meeting the ownerâs eye by fixing Foxâs helmet beside his own to clear space on the table. He came here to question his brother about an ARC trooperâs death over a decent cup of caf; he didnât expect to be reminded of someone who put his brothers of the GAR through a gruesome campaign on the lightless word of Umbara.Â
A Force-wielding Besalisk named Pong Krell had tricked the 501st and 212th into turning their blasters on each other some time ago. His style of leadership was firm, his fighting form aggressive. Krellâs war record boasted several successes at the bloody cost of countless Clone casualties; the highest of any Jedi. Having been seduced by the allure of rising power, he betrayed the Order, the Republic, and weaponized the absolute loyalty of the men under his command.Â
It would be Fives, Jesse, and Hardcase of the 501stâs bravest blue to defy orders and take stolen ships to cripple enemy forces. They proved successful, though only Fives and Jesse would return. Krell had tried to order their execution as a result of this disobedience. But brothers in blue and orange mutinied against the fallen Jedi, and attempted his arrest. Once they managed to capture him, Krell had been interrogated and his treasonous plot was brought into the light.Â
Fives had been faced with the business end of a blaster at the hands of his own brothers twice.Â
He only survived it once.Â
Wolffe could only hope Fivesâ mortal remains were being treated with far more respect than whatever had been afforded to Krell.Â
One thing was soon clear at least, the longer the dinerâs owner was working to serve them the fresh caf: Dex was nothing like Krell, save for being a Besalisk.Â
Dex was far kinder, friendlier.Â
He first poured out a generous portion for Wolffe, chuckling warmly as he spoke. âYouâll want to be careful, gentlemen. Quite hot. Should do a fine job of perking you right up, though!â Wolffe was sure to thank Dex before carefully kicking his brotherâs boot under the table to stir him. Fox hadnât fallen asleep, but he certainly was heading in that direction the longer he sat in the booth.Â
Tiredly scrubbing a hand over his face in an effort to wake up, Fox took hold of the mug that had been carefully pushed in his direction by the four-armed cook.Â
âThanksâŚâ
âDonât mention it! Matter of fact, Iâll leave the rest with you two and let you get about your business.â Dex carefully set the metal carafe on the tabletop and lumbered back into the kitchen, as promised.Â
Together, the commanders would take their first sampling of the dinerâs caf; Wolffe found it of decent quality, nothing more. There was nothing special that set it apart from other diners, but it was a step above the instant powder in his and his menâs rations.Â
Fox on the other hand drank like the caf was no milder than water. Maker. That couldnât be healthy. Once the mug had been lowered for a suitable amount of time, Wolffe voiced the first of his concerns.Â
âWhenâs the last time you slept, vod?â
With a heavy exhale, Fox set down the mug and leaned against the backrest. âSame time as the rest of Coruscant.â he said, too focused on the patternless web of scratches in the table to see the displeased furrowing of his brotherâs brow.Â
âCoruscant never sleeps. Are you telling me youâre running on empty?â
âNo. I just donât remember, cub.âÂ
Wolffe grit his teeth, full lips pursing as his displeasure deepened. This was no time for the kit-and-cub routine they had developed fresh off Kamino, possessing a curiously bright-eyed quality that would be lost before long. This was serious. All of this was serious, and Fox is choosing now to be sarcastic and apathetic with him?
He has to stop and take a measured breath before acting on any kind of anger. Should he be short with Fox, Wolffeâs opportunity to get sensible answers might slip between his fingers. So instead, he nurses his mug of caf before saything or asking anything else. Maybe itâll help him hold on to his tether a little longer if he combats his own budding fatigue. Crossing several galactic timezones in order to get to the heart of the Republic could make even the most tireless of men weary.Â
Settled, Wolffe begins again. âWhat do you remember about last night?â A glance is cast over their helmets; the thought of scrubbing through helmet footage flickers in his mind.Â
âMight need to be more specific,â Fox replies, wantonly tracing the rim of his mug with his forefinger. âWhat part of last night are you asking about?â
âThe part that ended with a dead ARC trooper.â
For a moment, the other commander remained unnaturally still, and equally quiet. Now that the reason behind the visit Wolffe was paying him had been revealed, Fox felt the atmosphere of the diner tangibly shift. So thatâs what this visit Wolffe was paying him was about. He was aware from the beginning Wolffe was coming all the way to Triple Zero to question him; not the subject matter of these questions.Â
It was time to establish a baseline for the brothers.Â
âWhat have you heard?â
Propping up the datafile, Wolffe presents the timeline as he understands it.Â
Alongside the Kaminoan Nala Se and General Shaak Ti, ARC trooper Fives had traveled to Coruscant from the Clone homeworld and met with Chancellor Palpatine at the Grand Republic Medical Facility. Shortly upon their arrival, Fives presented a potential Separatist plot that he believed responsible for the death of a trooper by the name of Tup to General Ti, the Chief Medical Scientist, and Palpatine. Agreeing to hear him out, Fives was granted limited audience with the Chancellor.Â
Per protocol, shock troopers and the Red Guard remained in the room when Palpatine requested to speak âaloneâ with Fives. This meant when the Chancellor was suddenly attacked, the response was almost immediate.Â
Under threat of apprehension, Fives would escape the Medical Facility, and remain unaccounted for for some time before making contact with a member of Torrent Company - namely their medic, Kix. Coordinates would be given to a location on Level 1325 with the request General Skywalker and Captain Rex meet him there, as soon as possible, and importantly, alone. His commanding officers would go to Hangar 18 in Sector I-9, where Fives had been spotted by a probe droid, and find themselves caught in a ray shield.Â
While effectively at his mercy, Fives would tell his commanding officers he had been set up, framed, before the arrival of the Corries.Â
âDid you hear anything Fives might have said when you arrived with the Guard?â
Fox, just about to take a drink, paused. âNot everything.â Once they had made it inside the warehouse, he and his men were more concerned with finding safe cover before moving into action.
A minor tell of annoyance, the twitching of the scarred brow over his brotherâs cybernetic eye, did not go unnoticed by the red commander.Â
âObviously. But what did you hear?â
âGeneral Skywalker questioned why his ARC trooper believed the Chancellor was capable of orchestrating this⌠Separatist plot when an assassination attempt had failed. Said the Chancellor was incapable, though his soldier insisted.â Fox replied, considering the dregs in his mug for the moment before pouring himself another serving.
âAt what point did you step in?â
Not long after, his vod tells him.Â
âHis back was to us. Didnât see us draw our DeeCees.â
âWhy didnât you stun him?â Wolffe nearly demands.Â
Fives had been declared a fugitive, the commander understood that. When he had taken part in the manhunt for Ahsoka Tano following the declaration of her own fugitive status following the bombing of the Jedi Temple and death of a suspect, Letta Turmond, it had been under orders. Tano had been a dear friend to General Plo; the Kel Dor often spoke so kindly of her⌠she had saved his life in the aftermath of Abregado.
But given the evidence at the time, he believed she was the primary suspect behind the blast that had killed Clones, maintenance workers and six Jedi, and left many more injured. A belief that would be buried once he heard General Skywalker had found and brought the true perpetrator before those who put the Togruta on trial. Firing upon someone he cared about, in his own fashion, while she was dazed and unarmed, would be the last time Wolffe ever saw Tano.Â
The guilt still gnaws at him.
Maybe if they had taken Fives alive, the real perpetrator could have been discovered. Like Barriss Offee had been.
âWhy,â he repeats himself, determined to break Foxâs continued silence, âTell me why, Fox.â
âWe didnât exactly have much of a choice, Wolffe. I ordered him to stand down, warned him not to do it; but he drew a nearby weapon. He was acting erratically.â
Fox had to make a split-second decision with highly volatile variables at play; the way he had been trained. The way both of them had been trained. Trained to make the tough calls that came with the lofty status as Marshal Commanders, before Wolffe had been stripped of such a rank. Robbed of the red.Â
It would be replaced with gray, to honor and remember the dead.Â
The innumerable, tragic dead.Â
Try as they might, the Kaminoans could never hope to train the sting of a brotherâs tragic death out of the men of the GAR.Â
Following a break to use the dinerâs refreshers and collect themselves, the commanders return to the table, making use of limited time before Wolffe is supposed to act upon new military-wide orders from General Plo.Â
âWhat orders?â Fox asks, brow pinched in confusion.Â
He hadnât seen any such notification. Just a report from Thire and Thorn that more surveillance footage had been acquired of the events from last night; they now had an answer for how ARC trooper Fives avoided the shock troopers checking IDs in the Clone bar. A damn hat given to him by a corporal from another unit, of all things.Â
âIâm supposed to report to the nearest Republic med center to receive some kind of vaccination. For a parasite.âÂ
Continuing to read the message on his comlink, Wolffe learns soldiers on other planets will need to await the arrival of the inoculation that was being mass-produced to protect every Clone, whether their deployment was peaceful, or on the front lines.Â
âThey⌠think some kind of rare parasite native to Ringo Vinda was responsible for what happened to Tup. For the behavior Fives displayed before you-âÂ
Something about this didnât feel quite right.Â
This answer was too convenient. How was it possible that a parasite was missed by the Chief Medical Scientist during Tupâs thorough examination on Kamino, but discovered by the Chancellorâs personal doctors in a rushed autopsy? (They had been thorough, right?) How did invasive organisms cause these âaggression inhibitorsâ to decay? How many more men of the 501st Legion were potentially infected, and how did the organism spread? Something about this wasnât adding up.Â
Maybe by asking the shock troopers who had been present during the conversation Fives had with the Chancellor, he could find something they missed; maybe they had heard something-
â -ffe. Wolffe,âÂ
Failing to get the flint-gray commanderâs attention, Fox has reached across the table and taken hold of his hand just as he finds it beginning to tremble. Minor stress tremors such as these have plagued him since the ill-fated naval battle, though theyâve been dormant for a long time with a combination of strict rest and discipline. And typically, theyâre almost unnoticeable.Â
But Fox has always had sharp eyes with even sharper ears.Â
âWhenâs the last time you slept?â
A slow burning behind his eyesâthe feeling stronger on the rightâserved as an uncomfortable reminder that he had been unable to find much meaningful rest after hearing what happened in Coruscantâs sub-levels. Another brotherâs tragic, untimely death. Resisting the urge to rub his eyes and rid himself of the discomfort, Wolffe instead returns the steady squeeze rather than pulling away.Â
Voice soft, he heaves a quiet sigh.Â
âNot recently enough, kit.â
Perhaps it was his own fatigue that had him jumping to absurd conclusions. The demise of an elite ARC trooper had reminded him of his own heavy losses, and his composure was beginning to suffer for it. That was unacceptable. He needed to sleep. Both of them needed to sleep.Â
But more importantly, Wolffe needed to leave. He had a set time to arrive at the med center by, and it would be imprudent to be late. Gathering the datafile, his comlink, and his helmet, Wolffe took one last gulp of caf before standing to bid his brother farewell.Â
Then, he had an idea.Â
âMaybe⌠after Iâve gotten the inoculation, we should both crash in your quarters for an hour if youâve still got that shitty old couch stuffed in there since the last time I saw you.â
Fox chuckled, a lazy smirk settling over his features.Â
âItâs still there and shitter than ever,â the crimson commander promised, âBeen too busy to remove it.â
Wolffe resealed his helmet so Fox wouldnât see the grim smile, one grateful for the meager space to sleep and troubled by the responsibilities his brother has had to shoulder that have kept him so busy, he canât rearrange a stained sofa.Â
It was no wonder Fox was sporting some silver around his temples prematurely. It probably wouldnât be long before Wolffeâs own raven-dark hair did the same, given his own burdens and losses. This war would make old dogs out of both of them.Â
Assuming they lived long enough to see the supposed end of it. After all, only the dead will ever see the true end of war.Â
And that was a tragedy for the living.
Thank you for making such a uniquely heart-breaking request for this event Maia; I hope I did these canine commanders justice and made it appropriately angsty enough. I hope you enjoyed! đŠˇ
Fic taglist: @anxiouspineapple99 @dukeoftheblackstar @dystopicjumpsuit @msmeredithrose @lonely-day3636
[Masterlist] [TCW Masterlist] [Taglist] [Requests: OPEN]
#comment reply#(sorry for the essay Maia! I clearly had a lot I wanted to share haha)#thank you for reading! đŠˇ
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donât mind me, just going to queue up some amazing fics while i sulk a little about not participating in kinktober đĽ˛
#â yap central#tw vent#now im just gonna ramble a little in tags bc itâs basically my diary#i am fully aware that this is 110 a âmeâ problem but that doesnât stop me from going into a sad spiral âđťđ#i am very excited to read all my friends kinktober fics and i will devour them all MARK MY WORDS#idk i just find myself a little upset by the fact that im not participating#firstly i am NOT confident in my smut writing abilities#secondly the few times I have done it it just really killed my motivation to write#found it boring and v repetitive#but thereâs something about seeing so many people participate#so many talented writers all gathering#creating super creative ideas and concepts and GOSH PEOPLE ARE AO TALENTED#AAAAND the state is the fandom right now is very smut centred#which is absolutely no problem i mean i read and reblog smut all the time#itâs just a little rough yk#comparison really is the devil#idk been a rough day at work and im just tired I suppose#ANYWAY I WILL DEVOUR ALL THE KINKTOBER FICS#YOURE ALL CRAZY GOOD AND I ADMIRE YOU ALL
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I CANT I CANTTTTTTT I WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE RJIKNHGKRSBKFUCKNHJHFBNJEA JFHBAEJHBFJHBHBHBHBHBBAZHJDBAJHDBAJKHBDJKNA????A//////!?!!!!!!!!??!!???!?!?!??!! I CANNOT I LITERALLY NOT THE CAN I CANTTTTTT RAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#â ď¸WARNINGâ ď¸TAGS R SUPER FUCKING LONG I NEEEEED TO RAMBLE ABOUT LOVE AND DEEPSPACE I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS#SUGGESTIVE ART? NSFW? LITERAL GODDAMN PORN? LIGHT WORK NO REACTION#POV ROMANTIC OTOME GAME SHIT WITH THE TINIEST HINT OF SPICE??? I CANNOT ITS TOO MCUH I ITS AUGHHH IM JNUHJHFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK#IM LIKE FUCKING PLAYING THIS GAME WITH A HAND COVERING MY EYES WHILE PEEKING ITS TOO MUCH#I AM LOOKING AWAY EVERY SECOND IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FUCKUNGBHGJGHJHGHGBJJH#I HATE HATE HATEEEEE (not rly) IT WHEN THEY GET NEAR U ITS AUGH ITS SO WEIRD I PUT MY PHONE FURTHER AWAY FROM ME OUT OF EMBARASSMENT#SOMETIMES I LOSE MY IMMERSION AND GET SELF AWARE AND THINK TO MYSELF THIS IS SO FUCKING WEIRD... THIS IS WHY I DONT PLAY OTOME GAMES DUDE#like no hate to otome games its just way too much for me i get way too embarassed abt playing them its def a me thing#ok first of all the combat is p ok actually it reminds me of pgr and hi3 altho i like pgr better :] (lee my beloved)#i did burst out laughing when i found out abt it cause i thought it would be like mysme and its just visual novel shit but its really okay#also i did a bit of thinking as to why i dont find the charas super appealing & its cause theyre obv manifactured to b 'the perfect guy'#like you know how pugs were bred to be cute but end up deformed and stuff? yea kinda like that#im not saying theyre deformed but thats the vibes im getting#deformed pug vibes#the jp vas are pulling thru though#ALSO I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF GACHA pleaseee i alr play hsr + gi + /occasionally/ pgr and stopppp i hate the gamba aspect of the games#AND IM NOT JUST SAYING THAT BC I DIDNT GET THE CARD I WANT#.................. OKAY SO MAYBE I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANT THE POINT STILL STANDS#i like them (reluctantly) all so far ? idk no one is rlly my fav yet tbf im still at ch. 2 so..#theyre all cute ig zayne is nice maybe i dunno i like his shoulders......? hes very cold tho cause haha ice powers#i call him elsa in my head#xaiver is also nice? hes cute? hes sleepy n shit#rafayel is kinda goofy? aloof? but in the 'she's so crazzzzzzzzzy! i love her!' way (look it up if u dont know) and im not super into that#hes the one whimpering though so it is what it is#overall i think ill keep playing until i get the card i want ill also prolly play it on my laptop instead cause its super laggy on my phone#idk how ill deal with the combat part tho but thats a problem for future me lolol#okay yea idk if anyone is still reading this but i dont want my irls to know that im playing this game so here we r#idk why im using the tags to ramble its way more fun like its more casual i think#OKAY YEA BYE#frambling...?
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Hey, what do you listen to your cds with:)?
my stereo + 5 disc cd changer ! :]
bonus of all of the cds i picked up this month <3
(the 3rd is pool kids' s/t album. the quality isnt great w lighting but i found them recently and liked this album!)
#before the vinyl community comes after me about having my vinyl player on a speaker-#just know- i am very aware that it can damage records! i am not playing my vinyl. havent figured out a different set up#thank u for asking fox omg#i will always talk abt my stereo <3. its one of my special interests. getting back into buying music again because i want to use it#and im just tired of streaming. physical music hits better! more of an experience#only problem is i have so many albums i want!!!!!! and money!!!!!#hope you can see the spines at all??#billys replying to asks#music
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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.
#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more#but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse#i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society#and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this#but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on#and everyone else is just painfully oblivious#I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao#when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak#and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much#i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind#and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it#im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings#but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel#and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard#and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person#i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time#like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people#i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe#Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything#and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them#and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly#like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl#i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well#my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things#and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!
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//rant.
#you've to understand that i like billy and#him being queer and also having a bf who was actually shown onscreen ...and them being loveydovey...is a huge win#i am not emotionally invested in them coz I don't know this couple#like at all#also they are like kids and being a grown ass queer woman#my interest in them is very much like an elder sister being supportive of their kid brother or sumthing#as for agatha and rio#they have set it up as romantic antagonists#we have had some very obvious moments of anger/bickering/longing/tenderness#i care about them as individuals and i want to see more of them together#i know it's toxic co dependent unhinged#I don't know what else to say#I don't expect them to get a happy ending#hell I don't even expect them to reconcile in current timeline#but i do want to know more about their relationship#they have mad chemistry#and since this is a limited series and I won't be seeing them past this blip in the mcu's one good turn#i want to consume as much as possible#they compel me#and that's that#I don't know how to feel about all this negativity discourse tbh#i am aware it happens in fandom spaces all the time...have been burned too many times#this is why I don't even bother participating anymore ..#people on both sides need to chill#and ffs will there be a time when discourse happening on some other social media stop bleeding onto here?#i am just fed up of the preemptive policing#wlw couples are so fucking rare and especially with most of the shows always getting cancelled#i just want one good thing#i am tired can u tell#tag ramblings
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Quick Sims Ramble
I know I donât post sims stuff on my blog (plan to in the future), but Iâve a simmer since 2017 and Iâve got thoughts.
I still remember some cc creators throwing tantrums bc EA threatened to uphold their 2-3 week (14-21 day) rule for paywallsâand proceeded to do absolutely nothing. Many of those posts from back then are still up btw, you can easily see what your favs think of you and how some of them see you as a walking wallet.
Speaking of cc creators and modders crying over money, Curseforge, why do you continue to use it? Itâs been months now since that tweet of Overwolf (CFâs owner) explicitly stating theyâre donating to the IDF, so Iâm gonna assume most of you have had sufficient time to read about it and understand why itâs an issue. Of course, grace is to be afforded to those who are late to the party, but I think itâs crazy to know what theyâre doing and willingly continue to support. Itâs got to be the money.
The website ugly and janky as hell, too, so itâs GOT to be the money. đ
And if money is the problem, doing Early Access via Patreon is always an option. Ko-Fiâs an option. Gumroadâs an option. You got options that actually look good, raise your standards, I beg. And thereâs free alternatives such as Google Drive, Mega, OneDrive, SimsFileShare; thereâs simmers on this platform right now who are willing to give you a SFS code for free. And what about NexusMods? Iâve seen people post their cc and mods there.
Point is, you got options. So, why are you all acting like deleting your content off one gutterbutt platform is gonna bring the end of the world? All you have to do is release it for free after 14-21 days, and if you do so consistently, people will willingly donate money to support youâbecause youâll be showing yourself as a reliable content creator who makes good content they like. You can get your money. CF is not the end all, be all of modding platforms.
So, please stop throwing tantrums and giving fifty-leven reasons why you canât migrate off one platform.
#if you canât tell i donât really like the curseforge platform#even when i was getting minecraft mods years ago i thought it was ugly#the new website design is uglier but i digress đż#iâm just scrolling through tumblr and tired of seeing modders make excuse after excuse#if you not real just say that#itâs as simple as that#and yes this is in reference to me finding out little ms sam is zionist#zionism ainât sexy#and itâs not anti-semetic to be anti-zionist#be wise not to conflate the two as many jewish tumblr and twt users have stated a million times before#i would like to specify that i am not jewish#i am black and i am well aware of a genocide when i see one#you cannot claim to be apolitical while continuing to knowingly use a platform that supports/is conducting genocide#especially when you state âpersonal reasonsâ as your excuse when you really mean âi want moneyâ#i want money too but you donât see me turning a blind eye or being complicit to a platform#iâve retweeted gofundmes and have been keeping up with the news on the matter#even though i donât post anything on tumblr my friends can confirm and vouch for me that iâve been pro-palestine based on our discord chats#so my stance on the matter should be very clear and i am not above blocking people#anyways this is developing further away from the original sims topic but i just needed to get some thoughts out#itâs insane seeing people in this community act like cf is the holy grail and theyâll die if they leave#PLEASEEE stand up and get a hold of yourself itâs not the end of the world#respectfully all iâm saying is: get a grip#ts4#the sims 4#the sims community#sims discourse
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#cops tw#bro I cannot handle one more thing happening istg#got pulled over on my way home after a 13 hour day#was already scared to drive at night and that just confirmed that Iâm right to be scared#it was for running a red light n it was one of those situations of just not having time to stop on yellow#I was fully aware as it was happening that I was either going to slam on my brakes in the intersection or run a red and I could see the cop#so I knew I was getting pulled over either way I just hoped the yellow would be longer than .5 seconds. not so lucky#except I also Am so lucky bc he let me off with a warning#ig bc I donât have any sort of serious history + with it being 420 once he saw I was sober he prob went easier#itâs the second time Iâve been pulled over in my life tho and itâs scary bc this is the first time since the accident#which maybe that was also ok bc it wasnât my fault#I just know every warning or unlucky moment costs u more in the future if u happen to get unlucky again#like I know I got out of that bc Iâm white. it was still a scary moment bc there were multiple cop cars#so itâs like is this guy abt to ruin my life am I gonna lose my license for being at the wrong place wrong time#when Iâm already salty to be driving this late involuntarily#so itâs like I got unlucky And very very lucky#I just hate the confirmation that u can get pulled over at any given moment#I constantly rehearse every possible convo w cops in my head bc if u come off disabled u can die#or get arrested or whatever#and then they like donât follow the script and u didnât expect this to happen to u today anyway and I get flustered#anyway my point is. Iâm fucking exhausted and too many things keep happening#itâs long day after long day w no end in sight rn and Iâm like half asleep every day#I just want to sleep. without feeling like Iâm already tired tomorrow#itâs too much. just all of it#and on top of it all. itâs 420 so the whole dorm building is basically a cloud of weed#happy u guys are having fun but u are physically harming me in my home#mine#txt#vent post#personal
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having a moment about comics again. love those silly little things
#citrine speaks#like!!!!!#yes obviously comics have. so many issues. esp big 2 comics yknow.#but god as a medium????#so insanely cool????#i love them so much and i always forget HOW much until i sit down and read them and am just. heart shaped about it#and i have a local shop now!! finally got over The Fearsâ˘ď¸ last year and have been THRIVING there#its a cozy lil place and they know me now and it makes me :)#the main cashier guy walked up w/ my preorder without even asking my name today HJKSDFHJKDFS#i was like oh ok cool im known. people are aware of me. odd but ok. (<- delighted by the concept of being known by others)#and!!!!! and and and#for me Personally. i've got this walmart version of aphantasia goin on which For Me means my mind's eye is uhhhh glitchy. so#Reading reading can be soooo very tiring. anything to do with visualizing people or places or things is exhausting#so having my silly little picture books!!!!!! love that for me#soooo glad to be alive and im grateful to be alive in time to experience Comics.#anyway. shutting up now. hope yall are good. mwah.
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#feeling very. Bad lately#in a despondent 'there is no future at least not for me' kind of way#hard to feel optimistic about anything. if I think for more than five minutes about the more than immediate day to day future#I get lost in a fugue of scenarios that will never come to pass because I'm too willing and ready to just be a tool and not a person#to everyone in my life and somehow still pretend day in and day out that I'm actually living a life#I constantly feel like I'm sixteen years old and never got the guidebook for life beyond hs#don't have a job and can't find one without access to transportation and my hours would be severely limited by my caretaking duties#ostensibly I have all the free time in the world right and just absolutely no drive to do anything at all with it#except lay in bed and suffer anxiety over everyone else's problems and my limited/un-ability to solve all of them#logically I am aware this is ridiculous and self-sabotaging and also impossible and also NOT on me to fix#but I've never been any good at treating myself the way I feel the desire to treat everyone else. my problems aren't worth fixing etc#life is and just always has been something that happens to other people#and most days I'm fine with that. I can find some silly interest to lose myself in and not think about it.#I'm very good at disappearing somewhere else. I don't need to exprience anything. my brain is great at theater#but right now it's just nothing. and so reality crashing in on many sides at once is destroying me a bit#I've also got a migraine right now so that helps tremendously. obviously#maybe if I make dinner now before I become completely useless I can just go to sleep early#I know this'll pass. It is what it is. I'm just Tired. and wish everything were different. y'know.
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okaaaayyy finally watched I saw the tv glow :^)
#liked it a lot on a lot of levels. visuals n soundtrack n acting was great. rly subtle n cohesive n effective#i wanna sit with it a little to digest it and maybe rewatch#but unfortunately i didnt get the same emotional resonance a lot of ppl did from it.. possibly bc i was watching w other ppl#but i dont think its that i think i just struggle to connect meaningfully w things that are like. what if the choices u didnt make#alienated u from the world and ur sense of self n what if the life u were living was a hollow bubble separate from the real world etcetc#bc like yeah man im very aware of how unreal my life n the world around me feels at times. and it isnt bc im holding myself within#tight limitations/constraints in order to hide parts of me from myself or forcing myself to be smth im not in order to engage w society#like im just mentally ill n the dissociation n derealisation are symptoms of that..#i can 100% understand why so many queer ppl feel so strongly abt it n the gender stuff implied in it#but thats just not my experience of queerness personally. its never been smth ive had to grapple with much#like yeah i havent fully figured out my gender shit. but im ok w that its not holding me back from living the life i want to be living#my sense of self is just so far divorced from my physical body and the physical world around me..... idk im too tired to articulate this#but that aside i did rly like it as a movie! and it was very heartbreaking.. just not in a way that struck me super personally#which i was rly hoping it would ahh sorry everyone đ but hey maybe thatll come after i think abt it some more#lots of cool effects too i liked the different ways they did the moon face thing. i liked how effective the whole distortion of memory#and nostalgia etc was done visually.. aesthetically very yummy. aw man..#i didnt even cry i was rly hoping it would make me cry...... :-(#makes me feel like im missing out on smth cuz everyone else ive seen talk abt it got hit so hard by it#just made my peace w being on the outside looking in i guess.. i shook out all my regrets and what-couldve-beens as a depressed teen#n now im just here to vibe forever..... đ i am toooooo tired to be typing i just keep saying the same thing over an dover probably#maybe a 7 or 8 out of 10 movie for me i think which is still pretty damn worth it#okayyy brushing my teeth and going to bed cuz i wanna go climbing tomorrow so need to rest up âźď¸#sorry i dont want to rain on anyones parade genuinely did think it was a great movie im glad others are feeling it so intensely#ahhhh!!!!#.diaries
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Santa baby are you really there?!
*hears a voice in my backyard*
FUCK SKIN WALKER
- you make Yan skinwalker iâll do anything to get a skin walker to love me ⌠yes I am 100% mentally stable
I'm not sure if you had something horror-esque in mind, because my immediate idea was Reader accidentally getting cursed and continuing her life completely unaware with a ""dog"" everyone is freaked out by, but she finds it cute. So more like dark comedy vibes. You be the judge. :D
Disclaimer: I have changed the name to Shapeshifter as to not delve into potentially offensive takes on native folklore. Thank you for informing my European ass.
Yandere!Monster x Reader [Shapeshifter]
On your last hiking trip, you've stumbled upon a helpless, lost dog. Or rather, it stalked you down to your cabin and spent the night in front of your window. You didn't have the heart to abandon the poor soul and so you brought it home with you. Strange things have been happening ever since and no one knows how to tell you that the monstrous coyote-like creature might be to blame. You're oblivious to everything.
Content: female reader, dark comedy, monster romance, reader is cursed and proud
It wasn't your intention to return home with a new pet. Some might say it was written in the stars, this fateful encounter of yours. You had finished packing your supplies for a day-long hike, vehemently refusing to join your group of friends that would be guided around by a native. Theyâd warned you many areas of the mountainous forest were supposedly cursed or haunted, so you just scribbled the limits on your makeshift map and promised to stay on the main trails. After all, this was your chance to commune with nature. As the sun begun to set, you wondered if going by yourself was indeed a smart idea, given your lack of spatial awareness and difficulty to navigate maps. You flipped the piece of paper several times, deep in contemplation. Could it be that youâve reached the forbidden lands? You quickly surveyed the area: based on the stuffed rag dolls hanging from old branches, and the animal skulls arranged in patterns among patches of burnt grass, it was very much a possibility. Perhaps the improvised slab that said âStay awayâ in dripping crimson letters shouldâve been enough of a warning, but you assumed theyâd just been creative with trail markers.
You didnât have the time to panic. Just as you were furrowing your eyebrows in a final attempt to decipher the map (at the time upside-down), your ears picked up a faint shuffle of leaves. Further away stood a dog, its glossy eyes fixated on your form. A lost puppy? It seemed to be on the larger side, but then again some breeds grow rather fast. You lowered yourself and patted your knees, whispering diminutives in an effort to call the animal over. It remained in place, staring quietly. Alright, then. You focused on finding your way back instead. Every now and then you'd turn back and see the dog, motionlessly eyeing you at a constant distance. Oh, dear. Was it lost? Frightening affair.
Back at the cabin you told the others about your discovery, with a hint of worry in your voice. You hoped the little pup had found proper shelter. You'd expected a similar reaction coming from your friends, but one of them suggested: "What if it was some shapeshifting monster? There's many legends and stories from the area." Everyone laughed and you joined hesitantly, mildly annoyed by the lack of empathy. That night you barely slept, twisting and turning under the heavy feeling of being watched. You woke up tired and nervous, dragging your feet towards the window for some fresh air. That's when you saw the same forest creature, fully awake and tall in its glory, positioned before your room. This was no coincidence. You had been plagued by the guilt of abandoning a vulnerable quadruped and you weren't about to continue as a passive observer. You strode out without a word and lifted the large dog with a huff, carrying it back in to figure out the transport logistics.
Thus started the unexpected companionship. To you, it's a lovely tale of two lost souls finding one another. Most people seem to disagree. Can you blame them? The rescued puppy you often speak of is, in the eyes of everyone else, a monstrous beast by all definitions. It resembles a coyote more than a dog, but even this description is too gentle. The fur is always raised threateningly and the protruding clusters of fangs remind one of the anatomical anomalies displayed in museums. The eyes, oh, the worst of all perhaps, bottomless depths that pull you in until you run out of air. The creature stares with the all-knowing gaze of a human. "Don't be rude", you snap at whoever dares to point these details out. "It must be a mixed breed or something."
Their persistence is truly ridiculous. You've even had guests run out in panic, claiming the dog stood on its back legs and whispered in a language unknown. Or that its shadow would morph into a grotesque man with claws and crooked antlers. Or that they've found it hunched over your sleeping form, its spine twisted outwards with jagged peaks breaking through the wild fur. Rubbish, all of it.
Strange things have been happening, no doubt, but your adopted fur-child has no blame to carry. You've been trying to distract yourself, going on dates and occasionally bringing potential suitors over. They all vanish overnight, nonchalantly leaving an empty, ruffled bed for you to wake up to. "Am I just unlucky?" You sigh, running your fingers through the coarse fur of your dog. It lowers itself under your touch, visibly enjoying the affection. For a split second, it glances out the window. By the time you come out of your depressed slump, the birds should've finished feeding on the remains. He made sure to tear and grind everything fine enough to not leave any marks behind.
That's how curses work, after all. He didn't expect, however, that you'd be utterly unaware of it. He has to give you the credit, not many people become stalked by an ancient curse and continue their life in blissful ignorance. Even more, for them to just casually pick up the haunting entity and bring it inside their home willingly...You're, uh, certainly a special one. Hence the change of plans. He was supposed to torment you into an early grave, but he's grown rather attached to your bizarre antics. And you do provide some damn good chin scratches. He's therefore satisfied with causing anguish and destruction to anything and anyone in your immediate vicinity instead. Since you've been complaining about the resulting isolation...
You wake up with a gasp, wiping your drenched forehead and checking the sheets. The dog is curled next to you, although its head is now tilted in your direction. "O-oh. It might be the loneliness talking...but I had the strangest dream." How troubling and embarrassing. Your beloved pet had turned into a deformed, monstrous man instead, pinning you down and hungrily grazing your skin with his sharp teeth. Your fearful protests eventually turned into shameless moans, your frail body at the mercy of the mysterious beast. It unfolded so vividly that your core feels sore. You stretch a sheepish hand towards your pet and abruptly stop halfway, noticing the marks diffused into your wrist, like violet smudges of watercolor. What the hell did you do last night?
The dog buries its head under the sheets and nuzzles its snout into your soft flesh. Heh. How many more disappearing guests will be needed for you to figure out your situation? He does find your obliviousness terribly amusing, as well as your willingness to clutch onto him despite his unsightly appearance. He was feeling particularly cheeky and thought of giving you a little scare, only to be once again taken aback by your neediness. He has to wonder who exactly is trapped in this situation, because your reactions to everything he does are frighteningly tempting. Maybe tonight he'll finally let you know, just as you're about to come undone beneath his heaving body. Something like, hmmm. "By the way, love, this isn't a dream." He could even add a little "woof" to tease you more.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere headcanons#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere monster#yandere monster x reader#horror#monster x reader#monster romance#yandere oc#monster smut#monster boyfriend#terato#teratophillia#monster fucker
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