#as are clients

[rebouks]

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[irate muttering] Oscar: WELL, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT THEN?!? Client: Uhmmm, I’m not sure if you thought you were on mute or-… Oscar: I’m well aware I’m not on mute, dipshit. [giggling - shushing] [Oscar grumbled, slamming the doors between his office and the living room] Byrd: You good, dad? Oscar: I’m FINE-.. we’re going camping, everyone pack a bag! Wren: What, now? Oscar: Now, later, tomorrow-.. as soon as possible. I can’t be arsed with these bullshit fucking clients anymore-.. jesus christ. Byrd: Watch your profanity. [laughter] Oscar: You shouldn’t be playing that in front of these two. Robin: They-.. ough-.. asked me-.. ah shit, you distracted me! Wren: ROBIN DIIIIED-.. my turn!

[vmkhoneyy]

“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!

[doctorsiren]

that one part from The Lego Batman Movie felt fitting for Reigen

[technically-human]

It's not complicated, it's just weird

[annadeef]

Inking the big girl for a commission

[scleroticstatue]

I fundamentally disagree with Thomas Jefferson and Mark Twain. "Never use two words when one will do," "don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do," I'm going to turn a single sentence into an essay and it's going to cost five hundred dollars per word because those are the right words to get across what I mean without ambiguity and misunderstanding, thankyouverymuch

[luthienne]

a single exclamation mark looks so lonely at the end of a thought i have to give it a friend

[kangals]

ER veterinarian: *reviewing patient's history* "and what food does your dog eat?"

client: "he eats yams."

vet: "... yams?"

client: "yeah, yams."

vet: "just yams? nothing else?"

client: "yeah."

vet: "the only food that you feed your dog is yams? no supplements?"

client:" "just yams."

vet: *increasingly distressed* "you cannot feed your dog only yams, ok? you NEED to feed something else. that is a very unbalanced diet and could be what's making him sick."

client: "well what should i be feeding?"

vet: "dog food! kibble, canned, anything from a pet store!"

client: "but that's where i buy the yams!"

vet: "what?"

client: "you mean i have to feed a bunch of different brands??"

vet: "what?"

(it was discovered, much to the vet's relief, that the client was mispronouncing the brand name "Iams")

[bixels]

In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.

He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!

You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).

Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!

But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!

[skawdia]

"If the accused is innocent, why is their fashion sense such a crime?"

~Magistrate Astarion, let's be real

[dreamatduskk]

SEVEN 🐰

[swannsways]

favorite Angus Tully's quotes, The Holdovers (2023) dir. Alexander Payne

[bioethicists]

it's actually terrifying how quickly the concept of self care (originally a radical concept rooted in the black panther party's efforts to support other black ppl living through racism) became another tool of self-management which is viewed as both a moral obligation + an individual responsibility. businesses + employers + other institutions now easily wield it as a progressive way to say "if you're upset about xyz, make yourself get over it". "we are going to treat you like shit + you need to learn how to cope with that or else you're doing something wrong"

i have seen job listings where "ability to practice self care" was listed as a requirement for employment. as a case worker, we were repeatedly drilled on "self-care" as a response to unconscionably high case loads, traumatizing experiences, dead end job obligations, + poor living conditions due to subpar pay/high stress. my clients would go to appointments regarding their evictions, food insecurity, active domestic violence situations, etc + receive tips on "self care" without any tangible community, legal, or structural support to follow.

everyone absolutely deserves to care for themselves + it is useful to circulate affirmations + advice on how to do this. this should happen within communities, through a sincere concern/love for one another, as a way of helping everyone live the best life possible while we work towards total liberation. it should not be a replacement for caring for one another!!! it should be one of many ways of caring for one another!!!

[jameslongforjimshortforgabriel]

love how lestat's immediate reaction to seeing a cute guy was "omg I'm gonna sleep with your favorite prostitute. yeah the one you use to convince yourself that you're straight. which ur not. btw. let's have sex"

[lumilescense]

Holmes: You neednt worry about Watson being here. He is the very soul of discretion.

Client: um...

Watson: *staring at client intently and writing down everything they say*

Client, knowing that one of the first stories that man published was about how the king of bohemia was fucking another lady: UMMM

[nipuni]

Casanova sketches!