#as a queer kid figuring things out
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chirpsythismorning · 2 years ago
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u know what? I'm a Willel twin truther now, Mike being in love with El's twin is much better than Mike dating his cousin LMAAO
LMAOOOO a win is a win
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shushmal · 6 months ago
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time is a circle i used to write fics where stiles (teenwolf) was the little brother to the winchesters (supernatural) and i just thought about steve being from a hunter family and that's why his parents are never around and he's kinda naturally good at fighting monsters but not humans. steve harrington long lost cousin to the winchesters... dean was born in 79 and steve was probably born around 67 IM SORRY STEVE HARRINGTON BABYSITTING DEAN AND SAM WINCHESTER steve has loser older brother vibes no matter what huh TIME IS A CIRCLE
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moongothic · 1 year ago
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Crocodile having such an explosive debut in his early 20s and such deep trust issues could also point to him having an even EARLIER start a la Shanks as an apprentice or something to an older pirate and their crew as a child/teenager — doubling down on the humiliation factor from facing off whitebeard as also a failure to “come of age” and broader sense of betrayal in watching eager encouragement fickly turn to “what did you THINK would happen”s like the kid who gets egged on by their peers into doing something dangerous and then immediately abandoned when they hurt themselves
Can't say if he did have like an early start for sure, since we really don't know anything about Crocodile's early childhood
But simply considdering how Oda typically layers backstories, I absolutely agree, I do think it's more than likely he has somekind of pre-Whitebeard trauma, be it either unrelated childhood trauma or early-pirating-life trauma (or something else)
Like the way Oda structures backstories, although we always remember like The Big Life-Changing Tragedy that happens at the end of the flashback, more often than not the flashback already begins with something horrible to indicate the character's already had a rough life
Robin was already alone, abused and rejected by most of Ohara even before the Buster Call Incident (followed by a life of running in fear for decades)
Franky had already been abandoned by his family before he lost Tom and got ran over by a train
Law had already lost his entire family before Doffy killed Rosi
Etc etc. Like not all the flashbacks are entirely like this, especially the East Blue-saga ones, but the backstories have been growing in complexity and structure, adding layers to the tragedies (like 🧅 onions 🧅) as the story has gone on
And with Kuma, his backstory doesn't end at two layers of tragedy. Like there's the early childhood tragedy of slavery, then there's the tragedy of losing his loved one in the most cruel, inhumane way possible, and we know there's at least one more gut-punch of a tragedy coming in the next two chapters to finish it all off
So with Crocodile especially I feel like... Like yes, possibly getting betrayed once in his life and having his dreams crushed by Whitebeard could break the man's psyche. But considdering just how seemingly broken his psyche might be, I do absolutely believe there's more layers here. Like his trust must've been broken more than once for him to end up the way he has.
Which alone gives Crocodad a bit more plausibility in my mind, because being rejected by the person you loved and trusted the most would most certainly break your heart (even if it was understandable why). And that really would make for a fine Final Nail on the Coffin for Crocodile's ability to have faith in others
But to really get that broken trust to be an on-going theme in his life that just happens again and again.... yeah it needs to start earlier
Personally, I think some kind of early childhood trauma would make the most sense, at least to me, not just because it could help Crocodile get started "on the wrong foot", but also because Rough Childhoods is just. A General Theme in One Piece lmao. Of course, it wouldn't be The Key Life-Changing Tragedy (I think Dragon would be that), just a "bad start"
#Moon posting#OP Meta#OP Spoilers#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Honestly this is kind of why I ended up becoming fond of the ''Croc is 1/4th merman'' idea#'Cause it really would like. Lay the basic groundwork for what's to come without it being like. IDK too much?#IDK I wrote a whole separate post about that not gonna go over the whole thing again#Other and one more plausible option was that he was just a really queer kid from the start and was bullied to hell and back for it#Dude just wanted to play pirates with the boys and kiss girls and everyone thought he was weird for it because he was a ''girl''#And somehow being called that stung but for reasons he couldn't understand (if Crocodad Real then he didn't Figure It Out until 27)#((Crocodile just seems bisexual as hell to me leave me be))#((I'm entitled to my unfounded bullshit headcanons until Oda gives us canon))#Alternatively if Crocodile WAS Xebec's kid then knowing his dad got ditched by Whitebeard and co would definitely leave An Impression#Especially if he ended up stranded and alone after God Valley#(...Unless... Whitebeard adopted him??? Which would be a very Whitebeard-y thing to do???????????)#((IDK I'm not into the Xebec theory)) ((It's plausible but it just doesn't spark joy for me))#((IDK I would prefer if he just kind of had a ''chill'' childhood kind of like the ASL bros had)) ((Just far lonelier))#((Especially since loneliness is such a key factor in so many characters and why they are the way they are))#((It's just that everyone else was able to find companionship somewhere eventually (be it thru Luffy or otherwise) but Croc didn't))#There's so many options and ideas on what could've happened we could stay here all day#Regardless of what it is- I'm sure Something Happened. Just gotta wait for Oda to tell us what#Asks
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berry-hwa · 3 months ago
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just met some youngins and at one point one of them was so blatantly and hilariously homophobic (whilst playing with toys?) it made me burst out in laughter (HOW does she even know what gay means shes like 5-6😭😭😭😭😭⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️)
...so anyway its now my life goal to make them embrace the gay when they're older to understand :3
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phagodyke · 3 months ago
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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bastardcatboy · 1 year ago
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My mom just asked for a latin translation of "protect trans kids" to put on a sticker, which quickly devolved into me and my mom discussing ancient queer history, modern queer history, and latin grammar because we both are adhd
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ice-devourer · 5 months ago
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i’m not too fond of tkd anymore however, the queer kids confiding in me at the training center makes it so damn difficult to leave can i just adopt them T — T
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deaduris · 2 years ago
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getting to play will and seeing how loved and accepted he is within the fandom must mean so much to noah brb crying
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airbenderedacted · 1 year ago
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NO YOU NOTICE IT TOO???? EVERY NICE/OPTIMISTIC CHARACTER IS ALWAYS HEADCANONED AS PAN QND I??? HUH????? Not that there's anything wrong with being pan, I'm mspec myself, but it's ALWAYS the happy go lucky characters and I??? 😭
IT'S,,,.,...,.
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#mango-mya#like ig i wanna cut some slack to the very young kids who're doing it bc they're still learning and figuring things out and uhhh yeah#they're gravitating to what makes sense to them n i think lots of them dont have the concept of sexuality fully separated from personalty-#-in their heads yet. bc character tropes and flanderizations and stereotypes are easier to ''get''#so tl;dr it's easier for them to get p submerged in stereotypes bc they're still new to everything n stereotypes r by definition Everywhere#it doesnt make it less Not Great & they do need to learn better but ik it's not done w like. malice / willful ignorance (mmost of the time)#BUT OLDER FOLKS........ GROWN PEOPLE PERPETUATING THIS STUFF.............. MASSIVE MASSIVE SIDE-EYE. BC WHHY R U STILL THINKING THIS STUFF!#the lack of self-reflection is NOT it 😔‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#IT'S LITERALLY JUST ABT ATTRACTION SO WHY ARE U OUT HERE THINKING THAT SWEETER/NICER = NO GENDER PREFERENCES??!? NO!!!!!#THAT SAYS REALLY BACKHANDED THINGS ABT PEOPLE WHO ARE GAY/LESBIAN/STRAIGHT (& ARO/ACE EVEN) !!!!!! OUGHGFGFYGFHHGHGGHHh#ofc you can be a kid & maliciously internalize shitty things like that too but imho the older/experienced you are the more likely this is#w/ age comes wisdom and all that. MASSIVE alarm bells if someone thinks these things and has been around queer communities a lot#atp that's a sign of it being kiNDA DELIBERATE ourgh#and yea the inverse is true to certain degrees. you can be older but super new & ignorant abt lgbt+ stuff but uh. in this specific case..#a lot of it is just...... bro... all you have to do is think a little. just a little. abt why niceness =/= sexuality. willfully ignorant sh#blaaagh#OH! And ofc: there's nothing INHERENTLY wrong w/ hcing characters like this as pan / etc.#you can make lgbt+ hcs influenced by personality ofc - it IS kinda best to lowkey Not but ykw it depends on how you're going abt it!!!#(*cough* LEAVE NICENESS/FRIENDLINESS OUT OF IT 😀🙏)#& it's not bad & evil for a character to fit some ~~stereotypes~~ bc those fr aren't always a bad thing!! sometimes it's legit commonalitie#but if stereotypes are ALL you ever do... if you knee-jerk leap onto WEIRD/NASTY stereotypes... if you base sexuality on niceness/goodness.#YUEAH THAT IS NOT FUCKING GOOD AND SOME SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD... LIKE BOATLOADS OF SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD#and really any time you're looking to a charcater's personality to come up w/ ur hcs...#(which will probably be often bc honestly what influences hcs in general more than that?)#just take a second to ask yourself if you're tapping into any personal biases/misconceptions/alladat !!#most of the time it isn't a question of ''would this look wrong?'' but rather just ''am i looking at this wrong?''#sexuality is just who you have the hots for!!!! not how kindly or wholesome or open you are! (that's just action/expression not orientation#(´・ω・`) 👍👍#.......sorry i rambled so much here. i'm on my meds today 😅#my brain has too many thoughts in it and things to say like Always aohgbhbvsfs
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mybreadsmybutters · 10 months ago
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the moment i realized that i was into women was at 11:13 am on January 2, 2017 at a ballet practice when i was idly staring at a girl as she gaze one of the most mediocre performances of Bluebird i’d ever seen in my life and i kept wondering why i was still watching her do this routine when she wasn’t very good and i didnt even know her personally and then she jumped through the air and the entire world went into slow-mo like in a movie while i watched her breast ALMOST pop out of her leotard and in that moment i swear the heavens opened above me and the words “YOU’RE GAY” popped up before me in glowing neon lights like some sort of vegas show sign
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gh0uist · 1 year ago
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I need to get off the internet cuz im seeing a little too much lgbt discourse
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miaowmelodie · 4 months ago
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As someone that used to be homophobic and transphobic as a kid and teen because I was barely explained anything and the few things I was told were wrong, being homophobic and transphobic is absolutely gayer.
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ame-to-ame · 2 months ago
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Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭
#i want to say i want to be someone like ayaka but in reality im probably more like hiroko#i used to be someone like ayaka. i was really tunnel visioned and i didn't consider much aside from the person i was interested in#but it's been years now and there's a lot more to consider and it's. hard and im even more scared now.#i think there's someone who im currently talking with who's trying to figure out if im into women or not and if im available or not#but it's that sort of thing where there's just. a lot in my shoulders and a lot to consider. i want a relationship eventually but.#there's just so much to consider right now. in the past i thought that as long as i could make my partner happy a rx is just btwn 2 of us#but when i did actually get into a serious long term relationship i realized that most people. do expect getting to have in laws.#people for the most part want to be loved proudly and not have to hide it. and i do too. but at the same time. i just. there's so much on me#i almost came out to my dad the other day while trying to console him. but maybe that news would just be the last straw for him. idk.#i just can't really afford to have my life be shaken up much more right now when i just rebuilt some stability.#especially when my parents are having a midlife crisis and both of them are leaning on me. my health worsening also stressed them out too.#i really thought I'd be braver and have less to worry about the older i got and the more independent i became but. ig not.#in my teens i told myself once i reached adulthood I'd be free to be myself and pursue happiness. in my 20s i tell myself after med school.#maybe once I'm finally out of med school and etc I'll have the opportunity to live my life. or maybe by then there will be another reason.#it's a real concern. i mean. sure I've never wanted kids I've always been ace and I've always liked women but. the societal pressure.#to other queer people the gaydar goes off easily but to the cishet audience i've mostly. been able to go unnoticed.#and when you're younger not having a bf or ppl you're interested in and being focused on your studies is a thing your parents are proud of#but as i get older. it's just been harder. i don't know how much longer i have before i have to conform or have the cat out of the bag.#i don't even get it sometimes. i really don't. the expectation of family and marriage is wanting happiness for your child right? but somehow#idk. idk. i really don't know. sometimes maintaining an image. might be more important than your child's feelings.#and i really can't be certain that between ego and saving face compared to me that. I'll come out on top. i really don't know.#idk. idk. i know there are ppl interested in dating me. but idk. i really need some time to process things through.#sometimes i ask myself how i would feel abt it and i really can't figure out how i feel at all.#it's ok to date someone u don't love ig. i mean. I've done it before. you can make yourself like someone after a while. but idk if i.#idk i just. i think im just really scared. and I'll need at least another month or so before anything is back on the table.#it's honestly just me running away from having to deal with sorting out thoughts and feelings 👍👍👍 which i eventually will have to face ig#but if i do fall in love ik i have it in me to sort those things out quickly i think. if im not too scared to let myself fall.#ig i just have to get more used to ppl being interested in me again ack 😭 it's easy to ignore it when dating someone but. now.#and it was fine in the summer bc i wasn't really around too many ppl my age. but. ugh. unfortunately. i do have. a face and a personality.#delete later
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fandomsandfeminism · 1 year ago
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Yall wanna hear a kinda funny, kinda sad story about my grandmother and hetero-normativity?
Ok, so... when my grandmother was in her 50s (I was an infant), she met a woman at the Unitarian Church. And, as can happen when you meet your soul mate, this event made it impossible for her to deny parts of herself that she had fiercely hidden her whole life.
All the drama- their affair being found out, the divorce with my grandfather, the court battle over who got the house, happened while I was a baby. Even in my earliest memories, it's just Mama Jo and Oma, and my grandfather lived elsewhere (first his own apartment, then a nursing home, then with us.)
But here's the thing- no one ever explained any of this to me. No one ever sat down and was like "hey, Rosie, so do you know what a lesbian is?" It was the 90s. It was Texas. I think my mom was still kinda processing all this, and just assumed that like... I was gonna figure it out. Don't mention it, let it just be normal. Like I think my mom thought that if she explained the situation, she would be making it weird? I dunno.
But like. In the 90s, in all the movies I had seen and books I had read, do you know how many same sex couples I had seen? Like. 0. Do you know how many "platonic best friend/roommates" I had seen? A lot. I had no context, is what I'm saying.
I literally thought this was a Golden Girls, roommates, besties situation until I was like...I dunno, 11? 12?
It was actually their parrot, an African Grey named Spike, imitating my grandmothers voice saying "Johanna, honey, it's getting late", that triggered the MIND BLOWN moment as I realized that *there's only one master bedroom and it only has 1 waterbed* when all the pieces finally clicked.
Anyway. I think it's a real important thing for kids to know queer people exist, for a lot of reasons, but also because kids can be clueless and it's embarrassing to have your grandmother be outted by a parrot because everyone just thought you'd figure it out on your own.
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Anyway, here is my grandma and her wife, my Oma, after they moved to Albuquerque to be artsy gay cowboys and live their best life. They helped run a "Lesbian Dude Ranch" out there (basically just with funding and financial support. As Oma has explained "traditionally, most lesbians don't have a lot of money" so they wrote the checks and let the younger ladies actually run the ranch.)
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laughingcatwrites · 1 year ago
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As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.
For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.
But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.
Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 9 months ago
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#its valentines day (yesterday but i havent gone to bed yet so its the same day) so im gonna talk about my crush#i figured out its really a crush because if it was just hyperfixation it wouldve been done by now#but its been months and i still really like her so its real#anyway. we became friends during one of the shittiest weeks of my life#in a time when everything was difficult and i felt so out of my element and inadequate and altogether bad. she was kind to me#she approached me. made conversation. several times. was the friendliest any stranger has ever been#at the end of the week i asked for her number to keeo in touch. and she gave it to me. and texted#i figured the friendship might fizzle out. but she kept texting. we kept talking. she talked about her problems and her happiest moments#shes trans and like me got put into the 'only out trans person for queer kids to look up to' slot at our summer camp jobs#she once texted me at 4am about horror movies and we ended up texting until 8am#she has a guinea pig named Agnes. she dropped out of college. she joined camp staff to avoid helping her mom move#and i love all of that about her. and i wish i could say these things but i dont want to freak her out and lose one of the best friendships#but im playing the long game because. this summer she applied to the same summer camp as me. so we'll be around each other a lot more#and that kind of proximity fosters incredibly close relationships. most of the people ive dated have been from that camp because of that#so im gonna spend the summer trying to get closer. and then maybe by the end ill shoot my shot#worst case ive just gotten closer to a very good friend. im not going into the summer with the goal of dating her#just the goal of getting to know a wonderful person better. and im just very delighted to have her in my life#and have the chance to work with her this summer. its all just good and makes me happy#its one of the only things keeping me going rn#so happy valentines day everyone
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