#arthur flanders

[spilladabalia]

C.O.F.F.I.N. - Cut You Off

[thekenobee]

Sharpe + Text Posts (Part 19)

[silvasstickerspop]

Animations most Midwest emo band, Ned Flanders, Caillou’s dad, and Arthur.

[iamdangerace]

C.O.F.F.I.N., Cecelia (with guest guitars by Dec Marten) from their self-titled album (2020).

[hotvintagepoll]

this is a poll for a movie that doesn't exist.

It is vintage times. The powers that be have decided to again remake the classic vampire novel Dracula for the screen. in an amazing show of inter-studio solidarity, Hollywood’s most elite hotties are up for the starring roles. the producers know whoever they cast will greatly impact the genre, quality, and tone of the finished film, so they are turning to their wisest voices for guidance.

you are the new casting director for this star-studded epic. choose your players wisely.

Previously cast:

Jonathan Harker—Jimmy Stewart

The Old Woman—Martita Hunt

Count Dracula—Gloria Holden

Mina Murray—Setsuko Hara

Lucy Westenra—Judy Garland

The Three Voluptuous Women—Betty Grable, Marilyn Monroe, and Lauren Bacall

The Agonized Mother—Mary Philbin

Dr. Jack Seward—Vincent Price

Quincey P. Morris—Toshiro Mifune

Arthur Holmwood—Sidney Poitier

R.M. Renfield—Conrad Veidt

The Captain of the Demeter—Omar Sharif

The First Mate of the Demeter—Leonard Nimoy

Mr. Swales—Ed Wynn

The Correspondent for The Daily Graph—Ethel Waters

Dracula in dog form—Frank Oz with a puppet

Sister Agatha—Angela Lansbury

Mrs. Westenra—Gladys Cooper

The solicitors are not described, but the very dull communication between Messrs. Carter, Paterson & Co. to Messrs. Billington & Son can be found here.

[tgirlblogger]

Wormblr Recommended Reading Order

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer: This short novel is needed to understand the power fantasies of most fanfictions of Worm. It is also important to understand the writing style of Mark Twain to understand the next work.

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court: Not only is the Isekai genre a vital part of the Worm fanfiction community, this book also provides a surface level understanding of royalty, needed to understand Twig.

The Holy Bible: To understand most of Pact and Pale you will need to thoroughly analyze and draw allusions to this novel. They both draw from many characters and themes, providing direct allusions to the "Christianity" religion.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: A direct sequel to The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, the understanding of the word "sequel" and its connotations is needed to fully grasp Ward, and its subtle relationship with Worm.

Claw: This is the shortest book by Wildbow, and a good starting point. The reader will start to parse his writing style, and understand how to analyze characters.

In Flanders Fields: Clicking on the Support Wildbow tab will lead the reader to his Patreon, where they may learn that he deals in a currency labelled "$CA". Learning more about the author, they may find he lives in a place called Canada. The short poem In Flanders Fields is a crucial piece of work into understanding this "Canada" place. It also helps to ground the viewer when they read Pact and Pale.

Slaughterhouse Five: This piece of work is necessary to understand one of the main antagonists in Wildbow's best work, Pact. The reader will understand this so called "German" phenomena, and fully understand the character Johannes Lillegard.

Frankenstein: It is crucial to understand the monster in Frankenstein to comprehend many parts of Twig. It also introduces the reader to a "superhero", with the character of the monster.

Twig: One of Wildbow's best works, Twig is indicative of Wildbow's peak as a whole. The interplay of the Lambs and the world as a whole is intricately crafted, and the main character Jessie Ewesmont is a very likeable character. Unfortunately the book is ruined by one of the side characters, Sylvester Lambsbridge. It is possible to skip over the sections of the book where he appears though, and it is highly recommended to do so.

Ward: The second installment in the Parahumans series, Ward is by far much better than its predecessor. Victoria and team Breakthrough are much more compelling characters than the pastiche and tropey team Undersiders.

War and Peace: The third installment in the Parahumans series, War and Peace is innovative and complex. Much smaller than Wildbow's other novels, but still sizeably good. The main character Napoleon is very compelling, and is almost as good as Victoria.

Pale: The fourth installment and final installment in the Parahumans series, Pale serves as a good ending for all the characters in the series. The Kennet Trio serve as very thrilling antagonists for the protagonist, and are arguably more interesting.

Pact: Though completely unrelated to the Parahumans series, Pact is still good in its own ways. By far not as good as War and Peace, but Blake Thorburn still serves as a good and interesting main character.

And that's the recommended reading list! After reading in this order, you should be enlightened, and be able to find the true path to Wildbow's treasure. It is said Wildbow's treasure has the secret of immortal life.

[theshelbyclan]

Merry Christmas, Thura 😊 I know it’s probably not happening and you don’t have the time, but could you maybe just for me, as a small Christmas present, write a few lines about Teddy and the Shelbys during Christmas? 😍😍

Thank you sweet Anon, and I wish you all the best too and a blessed Christmas! Just for you, here’s a small bit (just don’t expect too much of it). This takes place shortly after the war, so Teddy’s like 8 in this.

*****

In the bleak midwinter

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan…

It was the day of Christmas Eve and Tommy stood outside their house at Watery Lane, quietly smoking a cigarette. He looked up at the sky, where thick grey clouds were gathering: snow was coming in. That was all he needed.

The Shelby’s didn’t celebrate Christmas this year and, if he had anything to do with it, they never would again. They’d celebrated before the war, but after the war, there was no Christmas anymore. The fields of Flanders hadn’t allowed it, Small Heath didn’t allow it and most of all, Tommy no longer allowed it.

Christmas was dead. No more hope and no more light. All there was left now, was: in the bleak midwinter.

Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone…

Arthur came approaching and Tommy looked up. He knew it before he’d opened his mouth: there was trouble.

“There’s been some trouble at the Garrison, Tom,” Arthur explained, “Couple of boys tried raiding the place, knocked Harry about, broke half the bloody bottles in there too.”

Tommy nodded slowly, “So what is it you want from me, Arthur, eh?”

“What do we do, Tom?”

“You know what to do,” he flicked his cigarette away, “Cut them.”

The oldest Shelby nodded, but the hesitation was written all over his face.

“What is it?” Tommy demanded.

“They’re just kids.”

“Kids who fucked with us.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just…”

“For fuck’s sake, Arthur! Just get on with alright? Just grow a fucking backbone for once and get it done.”

“Alright, Tom, we’ll get it done.”

“I don’t have time for fucking soft sentiment, alright?” Tommy growled.

Snow was falling, snow on snow, snow on snow…

Meanwhile, John was working over the books. He tried to get as much done as he possibly could during the day, before he got really drunk.

He looked out the window and saw some children playing in the snow. He looked for Finn and Teddy amongst them, but couldn’t find them.

One boy threw a snow ball at a factory worker, who then slipped and fell over. He cursed loudly and all the children ran away and laughed. John couldn’t help himself and stifled a laugh too.

But then he remembered the bodies piled up in the snow. And somehow, he could see the blood mixed in with the whiteness in Birmingham too. In seconds, the moment had lost all its purity. Now it was just death and decay, hidden in ice.

He took another swig and continued his numbers.

In the bleak midwinter, long, long ago.

“Church starts at nine.”

Tommy coughed a laugh and looked up at his aunt, but her eyes seemed set.

“Arthur and John are coming too.”

Probably not by choice, Tommy thought. And he added, “I have no business with church, Pol, and nothing to discuss with God.” He practically spit the last word.

Polly shrugged, “I’m sure he has one or two things to say to you. You’re going, end of discussion. Teddy is singing.”

Tommy looked up in surprise, “How the fuck did you manage that?”

“I bribed her. Be there at nine.”

What can I give him, poor as I am?

And so the Shelby’s turned up at the church at nine. Not because they wanted to, but because the holy saint Polly Gray, enforcer of all things fearful, had ordered them to. At least Arthur had brought the bottle with him.

People piled into the church slowly, but they left the front most pews empty for the Shelby’s.

Tommy sighed deeply. He had better things to do. They had business to do and money to make. There was no way he was going back to poverty. There was no way he was going to let them walk all over them again.

Because, when they were in the mud, where was God then?

If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb…

John elbowed Tommy and pointed, big grin on his face. When he followed his gaze, he saw one very pissed off little girl in a white dress, standing off to the side near the altar.

Teddy was not happy, and it showed in every way she held herself. Tommy couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“Polly must’ve offered her some money…”

“Better still,” Arthur whispered lowly, “She promised her a horse.”

“She always knew how to bargain,” he said not without pride, “Innocent as she may be, she knows how to get whatever the fuck she wants.”

“Innocent?” John laughed, “She’s about as innocent as a wolf in sheep’s clothes. She changed though, Tommy, after we left.”

“Yes, she did. France fucked her up too, even though she’s never even been away from Small Heath.” Bitterness crept into Thomas’ voice.

He never wanted any of that for her. He wanted her to stay small and sweet forever. But he knew that was gone already.

If I were a wise man, I would do my part…

“Move over,” Ada hissed, as she unceremoniously joined them in the pew. “Now will you look at this, the whole family together at church. What the fuck.” Sometimes it was like Ada was physically incapable of speaking without sarcasm.

“Then why are you here?”

“Teddy’s singing. She hates it, so I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” And when her brothers stared at her reproachfully, she added, “Just doing what any good sister would do.”

They were quiet for a little while, but then Arthur leaned over John and told Tommy, “Tomorrow at 11, we’re meeting with that importer I told you about. Charlie’s yard.”

Tommy nodded.

Arthur opened his mouth to talk, but one slap from Polly made him close it again. “No business at church.”

“Why not, aunt Pol?” Ada challenged, “Looking at the size of those golden statues, they’ve done some pretty good business themselves.”

“Ada…” Polly warned.

“Oh I’m sorry,” she continued in her bored tone of voice, “Isn’t that what Christmas is all about? The rich not giving to the poor, but instead celebrating no longer having to?”

Tommy lowered his head to hide his grin. He never liked to admit it, but he had a soft spot for his sisters. They were smarter then all the men he knew combined and they always, always, had something to say.

Life would be incredibly boring, without his sisters doing their part in making his life hell.

But what can I give him? Give him my heart.

The service finally started and the whole procession of pomp and circumstance started. One by one, the Shelby’s sighed deeply and resigned themselves to the next hour.

But after all of that, Teddy stepped forward. She shuffled around a little, uncomfortable, and pulled on her robe that apparently got stuck behind the altar.

She looked back at Finn, who got roped into being an altar boy, and he nudged her forwards again.

Tommy made eye contact with her and nodded. Teddy sighed and rolled her eyes.

“I’ll bet you a pound she’s going to bolt,” John giggled.

“Shut up,” Tommy replied, “I want to hear her.”

And he actually did. It was strange how all his grumpiness and pessimism seemed to have fallen away. And he looked over to John and Arthur, both sending Teddy reassuring smiles. They looked nothing like the bored bastards they’d been only seconds ago. And even Ada, sarcastic detached Ada, fixed her slouch and leaned forward in anticipation. Maybe this is what Christmas was after all: in the middle of the whole fucking chaos of the world falling down around your ears, dropping everything, because your little sister has to sing. And actually feeling warm about it too.

So Teddy breathed in deeply and started to sing, in perfect pitch and angelic voice:

In the bleak midwinter…

[olympeline]

You remember that modern Simpsons scene where Mrs Krabappel’s and Ned Flanders’s secret marriage is revealed? When one of them has to go to hospital and it comes out because next of kin visiting rules? I forget the exact details because modern Simpsons is terrible and I don’t want to watch it again, lol. But who cares because I can totally see that scene happening with FrUK.

Like say, Francis and Arthur are at one of the usual nation-people meetings in Germany. But it’s close to the 4th of July and Arthur gets the blood spitting worse than usual. He ends up collapsing in the corridor and has to go to the nearest hospital. Much to his displeasure. Plenty of: “I’m bloody fine! Don’t carry on so!” to go around. No one listens though and they bundle him off for some rest.

Then Francis arrives fashionably late, hears what happened, and rushes to visit his ailing “partner.” Everyone knows they’re together by then but it’s an open secret. Just something that happened over the years, you know? The hosting nation always books a double room for them rather than two singles, etc. Common knowledge but never discussed.

Anyway, Ludwig goes to check on Arthur and finds Francis at his bedside scolding him and trying to feed him grapes or something. Famous German anal retentiveness activate! No non-relatives in a patient’s room. Not even if they’re his friends who have been in a relationship for hundreds of years. They argue back and forth - anal German vs. flouncy French and blustery Brit combo team - but Ludwig won’t back down and IDK, something just…clicks? Maybe it’s the changed attitude towards same sex relationships in modern times - nation-people are influenced by their people - but suddenly Francis and Arthur are wondering why they are still hiding. What’s the point? Everyone already knows their Dover strait has been getting joined every night for centuries. So why is their marriage such a big deal?

Francis and Arthur exchange looks. When you’ve been together that long you don’t always have to talk to know what the other is thinking.

Is it time? Should we tell them?

…Yes.

Are you sure?

Mm. Might as well.

“Do not fret, mon ami. I am allowed to be here,” says Francis as he squeezes Arthur’s hand. “According to your laws. Isn’t that right, Arthur?”

“Mm,” Arthur nods, flushed. “It’s fine. He can be here.”

And they show Ludwig their rings. The suddenly very embarrassed German apologizes and leaves them alone. Feliciano gets it out of his flustered boyfriend as soon as the meeting is over. And you can imagine what happens afterwards. Frangleterre marriage bombshell hits the whole world!

And Alfred and Matthew are like: “Seriously? No one else knew? They’re like, literally our dads.” Lmao

[fumblingmusings]

Hello, I saw your post about FrUK. It is a year old post, but I wanted to say that I feel like Spain and France's rivalry pales in comparison to France and England's, you should give England more credit I feel 😭😭 the latter rivalry's impact was still huge on respective nations, even if it wasn't always as equal as Brits make it out to be

Oh gosh, I would never argue that France and UK aren't tangled together for sure, nor would I argue against anyone who thinks the UK and France are permanently sitting in each other's top three most influential partners.

I just think... So to explain why I'm always a bit 'well yes but no' for them I mean, is The Plantagenet conflicts were very much a dynastic bickering between two families and England inserting themselves into French business, rather than 'the Kingdom of England' trying to overthrow 'the Kingdom of France'.

I think it was very much a French Duke based around West France (who was coincidentally King of England) quarralling with a French king based in Central and Eastern France. Does that make sense? You can argue it was much more of an internal civil war with troops from England being shipped over to support one side, rather than the clear-cut 1v1 conflict.

Like, it's based around different French Kings trying desperately to boot the other family off any claim to the French throne and gain control of land that 'should' be theirs. No French king ever really wanted England. Plenty of English Kings have wanted France, but only insofar in that they were French themselves. Normandy, Aquitane, Gascony, and England were all lumped together. England was useful because he gave them the title of King compared to the French lands, which were merely Dukes. That's the only reason England mattered in many respects in the 13th century. The Hundred Years War was based around a slight where England was not enough in of himself, his Kings were greedy and wanted more. The Plantagenet wanted those French lands back, and did horrific things to France in the process.

BUT!!! This for sure changes with time. By the time of Agincourt, it was not a French Duke with a supplementary English title of King versus the actual French King: it was now framed as England v France. One of the first instances of the great time that is English nationalism.

Like here, the French offer of peace in 1396 - it's all about how England needs to back the fuck off because there are bigger problems for the French -

It reads very much like Francis grumbling for Arthur to get a grip. We should be mates dumbo! It's why the Tudors I see as being such a huge shift for Arthur. He is enough, on his own, but he could be more. He, throughout that century, grows increasingly disillusioned with the mainland. He loses Burgundy and Portugal to Spain, and he loses Flanders to France. Those were his friends, you know??? He didn't have that many to begin with! They were taken as part of a broader dick measuring contest between Captiens and Habsburgs. England really didn’t feature in that decision making. Instead, Spain and France used England like a ping pong ball in their game to undermine the other. Ergo, Arthur cannot trust Europe. So he looks elsewhere for power and control. Cue the Americas. All an extension of this European conflict.

It's something I think Hetalia actually gets sort of right in the dynamic writing- England being seen as small and lesser and just plain envious and France only ever really engaging with him to crow about how much better the French are than England.

I suppose I just think of FrUK as being a shifting dynamic, which is always centred around Arthur's need to be on equal footing to Francis, and it takes him a long time to get there. It's just for the first 500 years, Arthur himself wasn't even of consequence to the people he looked to in order to complete this task (i.e. his Kings who weren't named Edward I or Henry IV). He was useful for his name - that bloody title of KING - and not much more. By the time we get to the Tudors, particularly Liz I, Arthur gets to hear he is the centre of the world, a beacon for freedom for Protestant Europe. I imagine then, the conflict between him and Francis becomes much more personal, ironically with Arthur dropping any claims to the mainland.

Arthur's priority is to make sure there's no single power on top in Europe from about 1500 on. Once the French had well and truly kicked out any Plantagenet pretence to their land, France's goal is to be the dominant power in (Western) Europe. Arthur will always butt heads with Francis. Francis will not necessarily always butt heads with Arthur, since Arthur has no want of being number one in Europe.

This has been such a ramble. This is long and confusing, sorry. I don't mean to sell FrUK short at all!! It truly is a rivalry and love for the ages, like God I have written too much here. I just felt like the Spain France element is critically undervalued in the English speaking fandom when I first spoke of them. At least, from 1000-1500, it's Francis against differing parts of himself (one of which is using Arthur as a brutal destructive hurricane in a misdirected payback for Normandy) . 1500-1700 its Antonio always. But 1700-1850, oh yeah, it's Arthur and Francis all the way, baby.

Or at least, that's one way to frame them! I hope this all makes sense. That's how I read the early years. At least. It's one way to read it rather! Not the only way. Not the right way, either!

Tell you what, I was reading Brendan Simms 'Britain's Europe' the other month (it was a pre Brexit narrative written trying to argue that we have never not been deeply tied into the mainland) and it's so interesting to me, how frightened we were of the mainland. I would love a book in reverse however, what actions did European states make to preempt or respond to English actions.

To contradict myself from all that above that is: There's this one bit about how, just after Charles II came back after Cromwell died, that France was invading the lowlands and how there was a bunch of European thinkers bemoaning England's withdrawal from mainland politics. England was seen (accurately or not) as a land of liberty. France was not. I just think it's a great little bit of storytelling:

Europe frequently banked on England interfering in French ambitions. These two didn’t have the courtesy to make their bizarre rivalry between them. Half the HRE, Italy, and the Lowlands counted on England's ability to shove themselves in as a bulwark against France. It crops up again of course during the 18th Century, then again during Pax Britannia and finally again (this time against Germany) in WWII. England has a history of being prescribed 'last man standing' when it comes to Europe. That is not to say that Europe is necessarily happy with them having such a title though hahaha.

It's a good wee book! Quick read for sure.

Sorry, gone off topic as always...

[mental-about-you-too]

Why I believe the Will Darling Adventures were originally conceived as johnlock fanfiction

I will die on this hill.

The Will Darling Adventures (Slippery Creatures, Sugared Game, Subtle Blood) by KJ Charles are my favorite guilty pleasure comfort books. I have listened to the audiobooks an embarrassing number of times. I can play exchanges of dialogue in my head from memory, reader’s inflections and all. If you haven’t read them and you like a mix of adventure and gay smut (plus it’s a trilogy so there’s time for more complex characterization and more gradual relationship development than you usually get in books of the genre), then absolutely go do that, and don’t read below—because here be spoilers. Also, because the books are a delight.

So. Grand theory.

To be clear: I am not knocking these books AT ALL (if I’m honest, the Holmesian flavor is part of why I like them so much). As in many really good works of fanfiction, the characters have ceased to be mere copies, and have gained their own original and internally consistent characterization. Kim and Will are not Holmes and Watson, but I am completely convinced that the latter were the inspiration for the former. Here are some of the parallels/moments of homage:

Watson => Will

Returned to England from war with nowhere to go; ended up in London: “I had neither kith nor kin in England, and […] naturally gravitated to London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained.” (Study in Scarlet) => “…his mother had died from the Spanish ‘flu while he’d waited to be demobbed […] So, like everyone else, he’d come to London…” (Slippery Creatures)

Ran out of money as a recently-discharged veteran: “So alarming did the state of my finances become…” (Study in Scarlet) => “…his slide into poverty was unstoppable...” (Slippery Creatures)

War wound that nearly killed him: “For months my life was despaired of...” (Study in Scarlet) => “A month in hospital.” (Sugared Game)

Saved by an underling who never appears in the story: “…had it not been for the devotion and courage shown by Murray, my orderly, who threw me across a pack-horse and succeeded in bringing me safely to the British lines.” (Study in Scarlet) => “If it hadn’t been for the bravest stretcher-bearer in Flanders, I’d have died out there.” (Sugared Game)

Retained his favorite weapon from the war: “I have my old service revolver and a few cartridges.” (Study in Scarlet) => “…the Messer, his old trench knife...” (Sugared Game)

Is asked to bring the weapon on adventures: “Put your pistol in your pocket.” (Study in Scarlet) => “Got your knife?” (Sugared Game)

POV character

Holmes => Kim

Has a bunch of names but goes by a middle one: William Sherlock Scott Holmes => Arthur Aloysius Kimberley de Brabazon Secretan

Has pretty hands, which are something of a fixation for the POV character

Doesn’t eat much: “My friend had no breakfast himself, for it was one of his peculiarities that in his more intense moments he would permit himself no food…” (Norwood Builder) => “They ate breakfast, or at least Will did, while Kim chewed a single slice of toast with distaste.” (Subtle Blood)

Withholds information because he doesn’t trust his partner’s ability to deceive: “You won’t be offended, Watson? You will realize that among your many talents dissimulation finds no place.” (Dying Detective) => “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, but subterfuge isn’t your strong suit.” (Sugared Game)

Withholds information for dramatic effect: “It was too bad to spring it on you like this, but Watson here will tell you that I never can resist a touch of the dramatic.” (Naval Treaty) => “Of course Kim would turn up after two months with some bizarre story; of course he wouldn’t tell it like a normal person.” (Sugared Game)

Plays fast and loose with legality: “Doctor, I shall want your cooperation.” “I shall be delighted.” “You don’t mind breaking the law?” “Not in the least.” (Scandal in Bohemia) => “I am absolutely not empowered to break the laws of the land, so I try not to get caught at it.”

Has a brother seven years his senior, whom we meet (several adventures in) at a gentlemen’s club in Pall Mall, and who looks like him but bigger: “Mycroft Holmes was a much larger and stouter man than Sherlock.” (Greek Interpreter) => “He looked like someone had drawn a caricature of Kim as John Bull and not been kind about it. He was significantly bulkier…”

The club (The Diogenes => The Symposium) has a Strangers' Room, and in at least part of the club: "no talking is, under any circumstances, allowed" (Greek Interpreter) => "speech is strictly forbidden" (Subtle Blood)

Chases down the leader of a mysterious criminal organization who appears respectable in normal society, and who stays one step removed to leave no evidence of his involvement: “But the Professor was fenced round with safeguards so cunningly devised that, do what I would, it seemed impossible to get evidence which would convict in a court of law.” (Final Problem) => “[Arrest him] on what grounds? I’ve got a lot of nothing. Straws in the wind, and fears, and the words of the dead. The case needs to be iron-clad, and mine is wet tissue paper.” (Sugared Game)

Has a chat with this adversary before the action kicks off: “…I was seriously inconvenienced by you” (Final Problem) => “It has caused me enormous inconvenience” (Sugared Game)

Better at hand-to-hand combat than he looks like he should be: “I have some knowledge, however, of baritsu, or the Japanese system of wrestling…” (Empty House) => “Where did you learn knife fighting?” (Slippery Creatures)

Lounges around in a purple dressing gown (Blue Carbuncle; all three Will Darling books)

Tall, slender, pale, and dark-haired, with remarkable eyes (at least, the POV character sure remarks on them a lot)

Other parallels:

Inspector Lestrade (“lean and ferret-like as ever”) => Inspector Rennick (“He was a short, shrewd-looking man who sounded North London.”)

An aortic aneurism renders prosecution of a criminal moot: Jefferson Hope (Study in Scarlet) => Lord Waring (Sugared Game)

Will’s expectations upon meeting Waring line up with a description of Moriarty: “His face protrudes forward, and is forever slowly oscillating from side to side in a curiously reptilian fashion” (Final Problem) => “[Will] wasn’t sure what he expected. Something snakey, some reptilian air of cruelty…” (Sugared Game)

This rather iconic phrase: “He sits motionless, like a spider at the center of its web...” (Final Problem) => “…sits like a spider at the centre of a web of obligations...” (Sugared Game)

Alongside the parallels, Charles adds elements often found in the best works of fanfiction: in addition to the on-page romance, there's expansion of the characters' backgrounds, including an exploration of class and privilege, plus a fix-it-esque resolution of the issue of Holmes'/Kim’s dishonesty (I for one always wished Watson would confront Holmes about lying to him for cases).

There. Cataloguing all the parallels was taking up a ridiculous amount of space in my brain, so now you know & I can stop obsessing over it so much.

[palecleverdoll]

Ages of English Queens at First Marriage

I have only included women whose birth dates and dates of marriage are known within at least 1-2 years, therefore, this is not a comprehensive list. For this reason, women such as Philippa of Hainault and Anne Boleyn have been omitted.

This list is composed of Queens of England when it was a sovereign state, prior to the Acts of Union in 1707. Using the youngest possible age for each woman, the average age at first marriage was 17.

Eadgifu (Edgiva/Ediva) of Kent, third and final wife of Edward the Elder: age 17 when she married in 919 CE

Ælfthryth (Alfrida/Elfrida), second wife of Edgar the Peaceful: age 19/20 when she married in 964/965 CE

Emma of Normandy, second wife of Æthelred the Unready: age 18 when she married in 1002 CE

Ælfgifu of Northampton, first wife of Cnut the Great: age 23/24 when she married in 1013/1014 CE

Edith of Wessex, wife of Edward the Confessor: age 20 when she married in 1045 CE

Matilda of Flanders, wife of William the Conqueror: age 20/21 when she married in 1031/1032 CE

Matilda of Scotland, first wife of Henry I: age 20 when she married in 1100 CE

Adeliza of Louvain, second wife of Henry I: age 18 when she married in 1121 CE

Matilda of Boulogne, wife of Stephen: age 20 when she married in 1125 CE

Empress Matilda, wife of Henry V, HRE, and later Geoffrey V of Anjou: age 12 when she married Henry in 1114 CE

Eleanor of Aquitaine, first wife of Louis VII of France and later Henry II of England: age 15 when she married Louis in 1137 CE

Isabella of Gloucester, first wife of John Lackland: age 15/16 when she married John in 1189 CE

Isabella of Angoulême, second wife of John Lackland: between the ages of 12-14 when she married John in 1200 CE

Eleanor of Provence, wife of Henry III: age 13 when she married Henry in 1236 CE

Eleanor of Castile, first wife of Edward I: age 13 when she married Edward in 1254 CE

Margaret of France, second wife of Edward I: age 20 when she married Edward in 1299 CE

Isabella of France, wife of Edward II: age 13 when she married Edward in 1308 CE

Anne of Bohemia, first wife of Richard II: age 16 when she married Richard in 1382 CE

Isabella of Valois, second wife of Richard II: age 6 when she married Richard in 1396 CE

Joanna of Navarre, wife of John IV of Brittany, second wife of Henry IV: age 18 when she married John in 1386 CE

Catherine of Valois, wife of Henry V: age 19 when she married Henry in 1420 CE

Margaret of Anjou, wife of Henry VI: age 15 when she married Henry in 1445 CE

Elizabeth Woodville, wife of Sir John Grey and later Edward IV: age 15 when she married John in 1452 CE

Anne Neville, wife of Edward of Lancaster and later Richard III: age 14 when she married Edward in 1470 CE

Elizabeth of York, wife of Henry VII: age 20 when she married Henry in 1486 CE

Catherine of Aragon, wife of Arthur Tudor and later Henry VIII: age 15 when she married Arthur in 1501 CE

Jane Seymour, third wife of Henry VIII: age 24 when she married Henry in 1536 CE

Anne of Cleves, fourth wife of Henry VIII: age 25 when she married Henry in 1540 CE

Catherine Howard, fifth wife of Henry VIII: age 17 when she married Henry in 1540 CE

Jane Grey, wife of Guildford Dudley: age 16/17 when she married Guildford in 1553 CE

Mary I, wife of Philip II of Spain: age 38 when she married Philip in 1554 CE

Anne of Denmark, wife of James VI & I: age 15 when she married James in 1589 CE

Henrietta Maria of France, wife of Charles I: age 16 when she married Charles in 1625 CE

Catherine of Braganza, wife of Charles II: age 24 when she married Charles in 1662 CE

Anne Hyde, first wife of James II & VII: age 23 when she married James in 1660 CE

Mary of Modena, second wife of James II & VII: age 15 when she married James in 1673 CE

Mary II of England, wife of William III: age 15 when she married William in 1677 CE

[meeks-just-wants-to-scroll]

kieran headcanons are so interesting i love seeing peoples interpretations of his personality and how different they come out to be... i know there's been some discourse about how people handle his character and i'm of the mindset that ppl should be allowed to see him however they want maybe he's an awkward mess maybe he's horse girl no. 1 and maybe he's scary at times but maybe he's all three at once bc he's a nuanced character or maybe he's not that fleshed out at all because rockstar seems to have cut down a lot of kieran content </3

I agree :( I feel like he was very watered down in game. I appreciate the anxious horse girl Kieran (though, it can be overwhelming when I’m searching for angsty art or fan fics about Kieran).

I swear, if we were given more characters that let Kieran have a interesting dynamic with then maybe we’d be able to better judge his character. It is hard to separated the player from Arthur since he is the POV character, but I feel like if we got some sort of mission with Kieran and one or more other characters who aren’t antagonizing him then maybe we would get Kieran in a different light. (Even just having a mission where Kieran fights alongside Arthur would impact how the fandom judges him).

Personally, I feel Kieran is a multi faceted man and is all these things, like you said. I find myself leaning into Kieran being contradictory. He is arrogant yet meek, he is optimistic yet defeated, he is benign yet formidable, his voice cracks with with a frog is in his throat yet he belts full chested and threateningly in firefights. I love it!

With so many characters, it can feel easy to water him down into a flanderization to set him apart from the rest. Without a strong on-screen history, it’s a smidge difficult to refer to him in a short-easy way. (Ex: John can be referenced with the allusion of wolves, of Jack, of Abigail, alluding to Dutch’s younger adopted son, etc. Kieran inversely is just… horses.) I WISH WISH WISH Kieran was given more actual missions!! GRRR all his interesting shit is stuck within cut audio clips… WAAHH

Anyways.

[random-brain-dumps]

Does anyone have the most random headcanons or au's for characters they like, even with little to no reason to have them? I never know if they come to me in a dream, if I get bored too easily and start imagining things, or am combining fandoms without realizing it (sometimes I imagine my fav characters as musicians because I'm a musician and am biased haha)

Here are a few of my random hc/au's for some characters (I'll try my best to supply any logic I might have, but again, these are mostly unrelated to their fandoms)

•Link (LoZ: Twilight Princess) is a bookworm and loves to read in his treehouse when relaxing (he just seems like an introvert who would like reading)

•Spongebob (Spongebob Squarepants) can actually cook other foods pretty well; he took culinary courses in college (Patrick went to community college, so maybe Spongebob did too; some episodes portray Spongebob as only being able to make krabby patties, but he cooks other things at home multiple times)

•Nico di Angelo (Percy Jackson series) grew up around classical music and playing piano and/or violin and is rediscovering his love of music in Camp Half-Blood, maybe even composing a little (his father loves music (the myth of Orpheus), so maybe he encouraged music in his children; classical music is for everyone, but is often common among the upper class; I've seen people headcanon Maria di Angelo as being an opera singer)

•Link (LoZ: Skyward Sword) had a crush on Pipit when he was younger (Link being the protagonist means we as players can sort of decide parts of his personality; Link gives me bi/pan vibes; Pipit is attractive, kind, and brave, so who wouldn't like him)

•Yuki Sōma (Fruits Basket) plays guitar (electric and acoustic) and enjoys rock music. He also starts to dress very casually in grunge/punk clothes (I imagine that he starts to get into his preferred hobbies more with the help of his friends; he rebels against his family's strict and traditional values and also against his perfect and "princely" features and reputation at school)

•Spain/Antonio Fernandez Carriedo (Hetalia) is a scientist/really into science, and is very good at it/intelligent (could be any kind, but I often imagine him as a physicist, no particular reason; science and logic are often put first in many Spanish-speaking countries; the main reason for Spain being a scientist in my head is because I always see him portrayed as a himbo, dense, dumbass, etc. mainly in FanFiction and I feel bad, and I'm a bit annoyed at the flanderization of Hetalia characters; other "stupid" nations are sometimes portrayed as secretly smart (N. Italy, America, Prussia), but I never see it for Spain)

•England/Arthur Kirkland (Hetalia) plays saxophone (literally no reason at all, I can't explain why; I once imagined America constantly asking England to play Tequila or Careless Whisper and thought it was funny)

What are some random au's or headcanons you have for your favourite characters?

[elenichr]

Normal People - The Book Stuff

what was read and referenced in the TV series

The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe

Emma by Jane Austen

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

All My Sons by Arthur Miller

Candide, or Optimism by Voltaire

bonus:

Poems by Frank O'Hara

James Joyce

[historia-vitae-magistras]

Character Profile - Canada

Character Name: Canada. Matthieu Marc Jean-Luc Bonnefoy. Matthew Williams. Matt. Mattie. Mattie-no-mates. Frostbite. Mo leanbh.

Age: 10-12 by 1760, 13-14 by 1815, 18 by 1867, 22 by 1945.

Height: 6'0/183cm by 1867, 6'4/194cm by 1949.

Physical Description: A beautiful but disappointing baby that grew into a tall and oddly hollow adult, Matt will surprise people a little when he's not dressed like a flannel onion. He's a little too tall and thin to look normal unless he's in the woods, and then his body proportions look correct compared to the winter-stripped trees. He's got shit posture, so it's easy to forget how tall he is until he's reaching to get something off the top shelf someone asked for, and suddenly he's unrolling himself a whole new half-spinal column. He got some of Francis' beauty but much of Arthur's sharpness. He looks somewhat fragile, but in the way an axe with a poorly proportioned handle does. He'll get the fucking job done, but the damage accrued will be impressive.

Eye colour: Blue on a technicality but a shade of deep arctic water grey-blue. The sky in the dead of winter when the cloud cover is so thick the whole world is tinged with carbon, charcoal and iron.

Hair colour/style: A few shades lighter than Alfred's and just a hue or two shy of being strawberry blond. When it's his own choice (and for much of history, it wasn't), he wears it longer than Alfred generally, so the curl shows more than on Alfred. He's spent so much time in the bush that it's gotten disgusting and needed to be cropped short again because he wasn't keeping it up on it. Still, in modern times he has an embarrassing amount of hair care products he's always hiding when Alfred comes over and throws a 15 in one bottle of something in the shower, or he'll get the absolute mickey taken out of him.

Other distinguishing physical traits: He's got some scars floating around but not many, all things considered.

Personal Appearance/Style: He can look extremely nice and put together, with a very fashionable closet of options at certain times, especially for official events, but otherwise, he's a creature of comfort. Flannel pyjama pants, sweaters, two pairs of socks, a collection of plaid shirts he's barely updated in decades. His entire existence relied on French fashion for half his life, so he knows the rules and can look like a fashion plate if he wants to; the problem is he generally doesn't want to, and his own tastes are quite homely. Even Arthur is like, "come on now, lad, you can do better than that."

Verbal Style: He mostly has a fairly mild Canadian accent and honestly plays it up around others to further distinguish himself from Alfred. He speaks a very standard version of French around others most of the time because he's easily embarrassed when laughed at about Quebecois or the rest of his non-standard dialects but drunk or upset, it's pure joual and ironically the only person who understands him is Arthur because English kept weird pieces of the Norman dialects that made up most of the early Canadien French. His Gaelic is good but has some French sounds in there. His Dutch sounds, unfortunately, Flegmish to Jan because he spoke French natively and learned a lot of it in Flanders during WW1. Russian + German, he speaks with a raging Ukrainian accent just for the raging fuck you from Katya. Those Gs of his are a pure hique from the steppes or downtown Lviv.

Level of Education: He had a very good classical education under Francis in the 17th and early 18th centuries, when he still thought he might be useful. Still has quite a lot of skills in Greek, Latin and Hebrew when he wants to. He's never been much good with math or financial things; his math somewhat stopped at what he needed to be an effective clerk for the fur trade. The only time Alasdair ever yelled at him was when Matt just completely blanked for decades with Algebra and Calculus. Did very well in almost all applied versions, though. He has much knowledge of many things and surprises people quite often with how much he has retained from being the first dominion. That position gave him a very pragmatic political education under Arthur and some really sharp peacekeeping skills. He got more into forestry after WW2. He's the most educated nation in the world now, and its probably because showing up for class keeps him out of the woods and going feral.

Occupation: Diplomat, forest ranger, government minister, arctic conservation.

Past Occupations: Soldier, sniper, infantry, pilot, paratrooper, ship's boy, lumberjack, fisherman, apothecary, fur trapper, merchant's clerk, farmer, hunter.

Skills, Abilities or Talents: He can go practically unnoticed by other nations, especially when those with stronger identities are around. He was practically born a part of the forest. He can survive in woodlands practically indefinitely, even when he's so mentally ill he turns off the human parts of his existence. Knows practically every animal and plant in his country and a good chunk of the world. As almost as natural on the water as Arthur but better in smaller crafts meant for freshwater.

Admirable Personality Traits: Deeply loyal, compassionate, giving, gentle, polite, and welcoming.

Negative Personality Traits: Loyalty is a really two-edged sword, anxious, depressive, reserved, cold, and passive-aggressive.

Sense of Humor: Gentle, ironic, self-deprecating.

Physical/Mental illness or affliction: Absolutely terrible lungs and horrible ankles from snowshoeing and hockey, he started having back pain during his last growth spurt, and it never went away. He's a fucking tinderbox of mental problems. Just throw the fucking DSM at him, honestly, because he's been a wreck his entire life. He might tie his father, but he happens to hide it even better than Arthur because he doesn't end up drunk on his brother's doorstep because he's got even less of a wish to be a nuisance than Arthur. And also, he doesn't affect international policy like Arthur or Alfred's, so no one really gives a shit how moody he's been for most of his life as long as he goes and does it out of view, so he's not wrecking the mood or being a nuisance.

Hobbies/Interests: Reading, hockey, hiking, camping, woodwork and carving in practically any material, even ice. Sailing, kayaking, skiing, snowboarding. He and Alfred go good old-fashioned sledding almost every year.

Favourite Foods: Anything warm; he's not about to be fussy, annoying and picky. He loves poutine, the good stuff with duck fat demi-glace, but nothing satisfies as much as oven fries from the frozen section, cheese curds and packet or jarred gravy. He's the holy mother of carb whores. Potatoes, bread, pancakes, doughnuts, pastry, Montreal bagels. Remember, we're the fucking people who looked at pizza and spaghetti and went "hmmm..... that's not enough carbs" and put the fucking spaghetti on the pizza.

Most important personal item: When he plays some important hockey matches he uses the laces from the combat boots he was wearing for VE-Day to hold his leg pads on. He had a rosary with the largest piece made from the bulla Rome gave Francis he carried everywhere, but Francis took that with him 'for safe keeping' when the Seven Years War started to go against them, and Matt never saw it again. He still has the one Alasdair made him from whatever rocks and wood were around in a trunk of keepsakes.

Person/friend close to character: Alfred is the most important person in his life, whether he likes it or not. He usually prefers it that way but only sometimes. Maria has been a close friend since the 90s. Jan is very special and was almost exclusive until the 90s, but still a large part of his life. Arthur's really important still. Jack and Zee are a fixture. Francis is important but a massive dick. He and Aditya have always gotten on extremely well, especially with Sikh culture strongly represented in Canada. Katya is ungodly important to him, being his most distinctive formative part besides indigenous, French and British.

Brief family history: He was born a baby hot potato between Scotland, France and England, getting tossed around constantly because fuck he was useless and expensive. Assuming Arthur is his father, he's got two uncles (one of whom Arthur considered his 'actual' father for a while) and an Aunt. One older brother, one younger and a sister. He might have more 'family' on Francis' side, but his global relations are still very much informed by the Anglosphere today. Diversity win! your favourite gay couple committed war crimes and produced a nervous wreck! Everyone waited in anticipation of the third North American child after the impressive shows put on by Maria and Alfred. It was probably the greatest letdown of 17the century European bullshit in the Americas after the silver collapse, and that set the tone for his familial relationships for the rest of time.

Most painful experiences in the character’s past: 1760, the Rising of 1837-1838, Passchendaele, Halifax going boom.

Their Song: The Unlikely Candidates – Follow My Feet

[scotianostra]

October 14th 1285 saw the second marriage of King Alexander III to Yolanda de Dreux.

We hear a lot about Alexander in my posts due to the events after his death, I will try and concentrate more on his Queen, although she was Scotland’s Queen Consort for only 4 months and 14 days.

In that short time, Yolanda carried the hope of a nation – and its king – to secure the Scottish succession.

Yolande was born into a minor branch of the French royal family, probably sometime in the mid-1260s. Her father was Robert IV, Count of Dreux, who died in 1282 and her mother was Beatrice de Montfort, who died in 1311. She had 2 brothers and 3 sisters. Little is known of Yolande’s childhood but we can imagine that as a junior member of the Capetian dynasty, she grew up amidst some privilege and splendour.

Queen Margaret died in 1275 and within 8 years all 3 of her children were dead; 8-year-old David died at Stirling Castle at the end of June 1281, Margaret died in childbirth on 9th April 1283 and Alexander died at Lindores Abbey in January 1284, sometime around his 20th birthday. Alexander’s heir was now his infant granddaughter by Margaret and Erik, little Margaret, the Maid of Norway, born shortly before her mother’s death.

Whilst Yolande was growing into adulthood Scotland was experiencing a “golden age”, a period of relative peace and prosperity. Her king, Alexander III was married to Margaret, daughter of Henry III of England and the couple had 3 children survive childhood. Their daughter, Margaret, born at Windsor on 28th February, 1261, was married to Erik II, king of Norway, in August 1281. Their eldest son, Alexander, was born on 21st January 1264, at Jedburgh. On 15th November 1282 Alexander married Margaret, the daughter of Guy de Dampierre, Count of Flanders. A younger son, David was born on 20th March 1273. With his entire dynasty resting on the life of his toddler granddaughter, Alexander started the search for a new wife. In February 1285 he sent a Scottish embassy to France for this sole purpose. Their successful search saw Yolande arrive in Scotland that same summer, accompanied by her brother John. Alexander and Yolande were married at Jedburgh Abbey, Roxburghshire, on 14th October 1285, the feast of St Calixtus, in front of a large congregation made up of Scottish and French nobles. Yolande was probably no more than 22 years of age, while Alexander was in his 44th year.

The marriage was the shortest of any English or Scottish king, lasting less than 5 months. Tragedy struck in March of 1286 when Alexander took a tumble down that cliff near Kinghorn.

There followed months of uncertainty in Scotland. She had lost one of her most successful kings and the succession was in turmoil. Little Margaret, the Maid of Norway, had been recognised by the council as Alexander’s heir, but his queen was pregnant; and if she gave birth to a boy he would be king from his first breath. A regency council was established to rule until the queen gave birth. In the event, Yolande either suffered a miscarriage, or the child was stillborn. Some sources, the Lanercost Chronicle in particular, have questioned whether Yolande was pregnant at all, suggesting that she was intending to pass off another woman’s baby as her own. The plan thwarted, the chronicle recorded that ‘women’s cunning always turns toward a wretched outcome‘.¹ However, there are major discrepancies in the chronicle’s apparently malicious account and tradition has the baby buried at Cambuskenneth.

In May 1294 Yolande had married for a second time; Arthur of Brittany was a similar age to Yolande and was the son and heir of Jean II, duke of Brittany and earl of Richmond. Yolande was the second wife of Arthur, who already had 3 sons, Jean, Guy and Peter, by his first wife, Marie, Vicomtesse de Limoges.Yolande and Arthur had 6 children together.

Her second husband died in 1345 and after being widowed for a second time Yolande did not remarry.

During her time in Brittany Yolande continued to administer her Scottish estates; in October 1323 safe-conduct to Scotland was granted to a French knight ‘for the dower of the Duchess of Brittany while she was Queen of Scotland‘.

It seems uncertain when Yolande died. Sources vary between 1324 and 1330, although she was still alive on 1st February 1324 when she made provision for the support of her daughter, Marie, who had become a nun.