#app store tax
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Second verse, same as the first
https://www.jwz.org/blog/2024/01/second-verse-same-as-the-first/
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I'm officially visa'd. The RELIEF. All the paperwork and appointments are done!!!! 🎉🎉🎉
#and the second trip to dresden was much less painful and took much less time#we are also going to ignore the fact i haven't enrolled to pay my taxes and health care yet ssssshhhhh#but in like a week i can get a bank account and get paid!!!!#and update my fucking google play store bcuz you have to have a payment type in the country you want to switch ur store to#which is incredibly frustrating#i just want the tesco and lidl apps!!!!#i want to save money on my groceries!!!
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📱💰 Mobile app developers, maximize your revenue and tax benefits with these key considerations! 💡💼 #MobileApps #TaxTips #AppDevelopers
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Love that every time I update my computer I have to sacrifice 12 fucking gigabytes of memory for the stupid new update and I have to go through and delete games and apps to make room for it because if I dont update then the stupid fucking computer will self-sabotoge and prevent me from using certain features. Love that!!!
#fuck apple#i had to download an app for school#and it wouldnt let me access the app store at all unless i update my computer#rip to death and taxes#rip to rimworld#all ive got left is disco elysium and the sims to keep me going
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another week , another gift ! today i'm sharing a list of secrets that i've compiled over the years of being in the rpc .
under the cut , there are 70+ secrets that i have individually grouped into different categories to make it easier for you to browse through the extensive list . although not all of them focus on dark & mature topics , keep in mind that a handful of these still have certain trigger warnings so please proceed with caution . hopefully you find this masterlist helpful .
a like and reblog would be greatly appreciated ! enjoy ♡
🔐 DECEPTION & LYING .
pretending to be vegan for attention.
assumed someone else's identity.
pretending to be in university when they've actually been kicked out.
lies about having certain allergies for attention.
fakes their instagram posts to appear more interesting.
has lied about the number of people they've slept with.
has changed their identity to run away from their past.
is faking their name / ethnicity / age / backstory etc.
is hiding a physical / mental illness.
is pretending to be color blind to seem more interesting.
has gone to random funerals for the free food & lies about their relationship with the deceased.
🔐 FAME & BEAUTY .
has had extensive plastic surgery but lies about it.
uses ghost writers for their songs.
has a secret love child with their co-star.
is dating their significant other for publicity.
is a social climber.
becomes friends with celebrities to rob their homes.
runs a blog with dirt on socialites & celebrities.
causes scandals to gain relevance.
🔐 FAMILY & FRIENDSHIP .
comes from a wealthy family but pretends to be broke.
has given their child up for adoption.
knows they aren’t the real biological father of their child but pretends they are.
knows that their parent is a murderer but hasn't told the police.
pretends to come from a wealthy family but their parents are actually drug addicts.
tells their friends they're an only child when they actually have siblings.
has been forced to participate in frowned upon things by their parents / friends.
caught one parent having an affair with the same sex but hasn't told the other parent yet.
gave up their newborn & their friend / parent / sibling is raising the baby as their own.
as a kid, saw their mother shoot their father but hasn't told anyone.
pretended to be pregnant but had a surrogate carry their child.
went into their friends house after they died & stole a bunch of their things.
🔐 LOVE & LOSS .
uses hook up apps for attention but never meets up with their matches.
has catfished someone they liked / didn't like.
is using their significant other as a "beard".
only dates people that are famous and wealthy.
they are still not over their ex.
uses an ouija board to communicate with the dead.
is currently cheating on their significant other.
is currently cheating on their significant other with their best friend.
has kept all major secrets from their significant other in fear that they would leave them.
has helped their significant other bury a body.
🔐 MURDER & CRIMES .
has cried to get out of a speeding ticket.
has bought a stolen cellphone & keeps getting calls from the owner.
is a kleptomaniac.
has seen a sibling / friend commit murder but is too scared to rat them out.
commits tax fraud.
has broken out of prison.
is a stalker / has a stalker.
has a side job where they do illegal businesses.
has a restraining order against someone.
has past criminal offenses e.g. public intoxication , underage drinking , dui , drug possession , scamming , vandalism , etc.
steals valuable items & sells them on the black market.
thinks they've committed a crime even when they didn't.
has had to clean their dead friends belongings & found out they were a serial killer.
steals from grocery stores all the time.
is withholding information about a police case.
they've gone to jail for a crime their friend / family member committed.
🔐 POWER & MONEY .
spends all their money on designer clothes but lives in a run down apartment.
dates & marries people for their money.
has gambled their entire life savings away.
used their power & money to hire a hitman for the person they hate.
has embezzled a few million dollars.
hires random people to be their friends.
their father is the leader of the largest criminal organization in their area.
🔐 SEX & DRUGS .
is a masochist.
used to be a porn star.
has depended on drugs for years.
has a drug / sex / alcohol addiction.
has participated in a "glory hole" multiple times.
has had parents try & hire a hooker for them when the parents found out they were asexual.
participated in the casting couch.
goes to aa / na meetings to make friends even though they're not addicted to drugs or alcohol.
has hooked up with more than 100 people in less than 24 hours.
hired a prostitute to lose their virginity to.
runs a very popular faceless nsfw blog.
pretends to have sex all the time but is actually a virgin.
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How to Grow Up
A guide on how to grow up. It was originally posted by @/friendliness but half the links were broken. So I took what links weren't broken and added other links and more things to know.
This is USA based resources
Personal
Reasons to Stay Alive – A Tumblr post of 116 reasons to stay alive by @/friendliness.
How to Get Better At Asking for Help – Website is Harvard Business Review. The article is “5 Ways to Get Better At Asking for Help” by Wayne Baker.
What to do if you Can’t Afford Therapy – Website is Psych Central and the article is by Steven Rowe.
How to Quit Smoking – “The 22 Best Ways to Quit Smoking” by Debra L. Gordon and David L. Katz M.D. from the Healthy Digest.
How to Legally Change your Name – Website is Forbes.
Wanna Learn Something New? – A Tumblr post made by @/hamletthedane with various new things to try from language learning to ballet.
Free Harvard Courses – Harvard University’s free online courses.
Getting a New Computer? – A quick and dirty comprehensive guide by WIRED on what to look for.
How to Sew – Website is Autodesk Indestructibles. The article is “How to Sew” by Jessyratfink. Having a small sewing kit (that you can pick up from nearly any craft store) is super handy and has saved my life and clothes.
What to Look For in Clothes A YouTube video by Alyssa Beltempo titled “How to Identify High Quality vs. Poor Quality Clothing | Slow Fashion”. Here’s a WikiHow [x] if a YouTube video isn’t your style.
Dealing with Executive Dysfunction – A Tumblr post made by @/compassionatereminders. It's a list to more links on how to deal with executive dysfunction.
Another List Like this One – A Tumblr post made by a now deactivated account. It's a list much like this one.
Home
What’s a mortgage? – Website is realtor.com and the page is called “What is a Mortgage? Home Loan Basics Explained” by Cathie Ericson.
First Apartment Checklist – A checklist PDF. Here’s another link to a Tumblr checklist [x]
What to Ask Landlords Before Renting? – “25 Questions To Ask a Landlord When Renting a Home” by Morgen Henderson.
What’s Renter’s Insurance? – Website is Forbes Advisor. The article is by Jason Metz and titled “How to Get Renters Insurance”.
Plant Care – A master list of how to care for plants made by @/difficults
Job
Time Management – Website is Entrepenuer and has 10 time management tips. One I personally recommend is keeping a physical calendar book on hand. I keep mine in my bag with a designated pen.
Finding the right job – Website is The Muse and it has 13 free career assessment tests.
Make a resume – Website is Resume Now. Many hirers look at your name, the middle of the page (where your experience list is) and skim the rest.
Job Interview Tips – Website is Linkedin. The article is titled “10 Job Interview Tips to Land The Career of Your Dreams” by Caren Merrick.
How to Write a Cover Letter – Website is The Writing Center. University of Winsconsin, Madison. It’s titled “Writing Cover Letters” and I can’t find the author.
Money
Couponing! – Website is Coupon Database :: Southern Savers. It has a list of mobile apps for coupons to places.
Call 211 for Help – the website leads to 211.org. It's anonymous and can help you get connected to food programs, paying bills and things like doctor appointments. Here’s a Tumblr post about it [x] by @/poessionisamyth
Groceries! – This is a Tumblr meme post, but scrolling through tags/reblogs/replies and there’s plenty of good tips. The post is by @/charlotten
What To Do if You Can’t Pay Your Bills – Website is Nolo. The article is “When You Can’t Pay Your Bills: Thiings To Know” that was updated by Amy Loftsgordon.
Are You Paying Too Much for Your Phone Bill? – An article by Beht Beverman titled “How Much is Too Much to Pay for a Cell Phone Bill?”.
54 Ways to Save Money – Website is America Saves.
How to Do Taxes – Website is Wiki-How.
The 70/20/10 Method – Website is Business Insider. The Article is “A Beginners Guide to the 70-20–10 Budgeting Method” by Paul Kim.
Side Hustle Ideas – Website is Forbes. “30 Side Hustle Ideas To Make Extra Money In 2024” by Krista Fabregas.
Emergency
Your Rights When a Cop Pulls you Over – Website is Business Insider. Cops are allowed to lie to you, and they will, so be careful.
Hotline List – The website is DoSomething.org. Depression/Suicide, domestic abuse, child abuse and runaway/homeless/and at-risk youth hotlines.
What to Keep in Your Car – Website is MentalFloss. I live in a snowy area that gets blizzards and bad ice. I keep blankets, water and other aids in my car as well as a knife and road flare. I also own a self jumping car battery and it has saved my ass more than once. Heimlich Maneuver – A one minute video by the Mayo Clinic.
The Heimlich Maneuver on Yourself – A one minute video by The List Show TV.
What to Keep in Your Wallet – Website is PureWow. The article is by Rachel Bowie. Keep your drivers license, medical insurance card, and an emergency contact in your card. If you have a pet home alone make sure that you have a card detailing this. Free printable one here [x]
Traveling
Packing List – Website is Smarter Travel.
Traveling with Little to No Money – Website is Nomadic Matt.
How to Pack a Suitcase – Website is Real Simple. The article is by Thersa O’Rourke.
How to Apply for a Passport – Website is WikkiHow.
Making a Travel Budget – Website is Travel Made Simple. “How to Make a Travel Budget” by Ali Garland
#how to grow up#list#housing#living on your own#insurance#traveling#may update more and refine over time
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First of all - I'd like to note that this post is not intended to pressure anyone to change or to make people feel ashamed for the position they are in in life. I feel like a lot of people don't understand that being in this position is not often a choice. A majority of the time there are mental illnesses or chronic physical illnesses which lead someone to this point. It isn't like they're just hanging out at home all day having a blast - it is emotionally and physically taxing to be in this position, and it can be incredibly hard to break out. Not impossible!! Just very hard.
It is not as simple as "just go outside" "just get a job" etc; that kind of advice is not helpful. This post is mostly aimed at people who want to make some sort of change in their routine. Again, if you don't want to change or don't feel a need to - I'm not here to pressure you into changing your life or to tell you you are wrong for living this way - you're not, you're okay I promise. More so this is for people who are thinking about changing things up or adding a little more structure to their life.
Keep in mind - there is no shame in this. If you're looking at your daily log of activities and it isn't what you want it to be that is okay! Don't beat yourself up or be down on yourself for not being perfect or not being where you want to be. This is just so we can identify trends in our behaviours and more clearly see the things we want to cut back on or the things we want to add to our daily / weekly routines.
Try to keep this in a place where it is easy to keep track of. I typically recommend something digital like a notes app on the phone or a google document since you can access that from a computer or your phone - that way it's much easier to just pop in and write a simple note like "10am - had a bagel for breakfast", or a little pocket notebook that you can keep on your person. Make it as easy for yourself as possible.
It can also help to add little notes about how certain activities make you feel or your general mood throughout the day. This doesn't have to be extensive, but something like "Took a shower, feel refreshed but exhausted", or "2-4pm scrolling TikTok, I don't feel anything, I'm a little irritated". Keeping in mind how certain activities make you feel is a good step in identifying how different things affect your mental health and overall energy / stress levels. This can also help us start to see some of the underlying reasons for some of your behaviours. If you start to see why you do or don't like doing certain things, you can have a better understanding of yourself and how you can go about changing certain habits.
For example if you absolutely 100% detest doing the dishes, the feeling, the smell, how long it takes, etc, it isn't going to be very helpful to have a "just do it" approach to building the habit. It will become much easier if we also adopt other things into this such as having a dish-washing chair, a special soap, or gloves to make the process more bearable before throwing yourself head-first into it.
Some goals are easier to identify than others. For example "I want to brush my teeth every night" is a pretty identifiable goal and the steps you need to take to achieve that goal are pretty straightforward. Other goals like "I want to feel more productive" or "I want to have more energy" are vague and difficult to achieve in themsevles, so we need to break them down.
What does each goal mean to you? What does "being more productive" mean? Does it mean keeping your room clean? Creating a physical product or hobby? Achieving smaller goals throughout the day? Exercising more? Trading social media for something like a book? Learning something new? What smaller aspect of this larger idea stands out to you? Once it is broken into parts it's much easier to work on one aspect at a time instead of just trying to change everything overnight.
Other goals seem like too much, like "I want to be able to go to the grocery store by myself". That's an easily identifiable goal, but it's a BIG goal. There are likely steps you'll have to take to work up to this goal, and those steps are heavily tied to the reasons why you don't like going to the grocery store in the first place. If the crowds make you anxious - going out with friends or family to less crowded places, or going to the grocery store at less busy times of day could help. If the food items stress you out - going out to places like office supply stores that don't carry food items or going to the store without the intent of buying anything just to walk around and get used to it might be helpful. Some stores like Kroger, Ingles, or Target often have little coffee shops in them - maybe going to one of these with friends just to get a snack and hang out can help expose you to the idea of the store itself without the pressure of having to pick out what you're buying or the pressure of interacting with the cashier so you don't have to tackle it all at once. Or if you typically get groceries delivered to your house, maybe you could do a purchase online pick up in-store thing one day - you don't have to spend much time in the actual store, and you don't have to pick items out while you're there, but it'll get you to the actual store and then you can just go home right afterwards. Try to find ways to get slowly closer and closer to your final goal without throwing yourself headfirst into it. (One thing I will say specifically about going to the grocery store is try to avoid planning out exactly what you're going to purchase beforehand - I used to do this and I would end up crying in the middle of the store if they didn't have the exact bread they wanted, it backfired on me more than once T-T so do that at your own risk).
Write out as many or as few goals as you can think of. These are long-term goals, so if your list feels really long don't worry! You don't have to do all of this at once! In fact, I implore you not to try and do too many of these things at once! Try not to get overwhelmed if it feels like a lot - you've got time, this is not a once-and-done kind of thing, we're going to take it slow and try to be reasonable with ourselves and our expectations of ourselves.
But how do you pick a goal? There's a lot of ways you could do this. Some people like to try and go for the one that seems the hardest first - I've never really had luck with this I usually just give up when I feel like it's too hard. Some people try to pick the one that seems the easiest to ease themselves into it - this is always nice because it can help you feel like you're actually making progress and changing things. Some people pick ones that overlap. Like if you want to spend less time on social media and more time doing a hobby like knitting - you can combine those two goals into "trade social media time for knitting" to kind of tackle two things at once. Try not to combine too many things together - we do still want these goals to be small and separate from each other - but smaller ones like that it is okay to and makes sense to combine together.
So! You've picked a goal to work towards! Yay! How do we do that? It depends on the goal you've picked. If it's something physical like showering, brushing your teeth, vacuuming, doing the dishes, going for a walk, or cooking dinner, it's a little easier to track. Setting reminders or keeping a log of when you do these things can help, some people like having weekly or daily checklists to keep track of what has been done and when. Try to avoid putting too many things on the checklist - we don't want to overwhelm ourselves, remember we're just working on one thing right now.
For others, picking a certain day of the week or time of day to do these things can help as well. Having a set time or day for certain activities can help set the routine of doing them, and also makes it a little easier to keep track of when they are done. If you miss these days or times don't beat yourself up! Try to avoid the feeling of "oh well I was supposed to shower at 7pm and now it's 10pm so I missed my opportunity" you can deviate from the timeframes you set for yourself they're just a guide. But over time if you decide you're going to brush your teeth at 9pm every night, after a month or two you'll start being like "oh it's 9pm I'm going to go brush my teeth" it becomes a second-hand habit that you don't have to think about too hard after a few months.
If it is a more nebulous or vague goal, we might want to make a roadmap. Like if your end goal is "I want to be able to keep my room clean consistently" there's a lot that goes into that. Often that includes dishes, taking the trash out, doing laundry, folding the laundry, vacuuming, etc. Trying to take all of that on at once can be really overwhelming! Start small. Let's say, maybe every other night you want to take the dishes from your room to the kitchen. Just focus on that. Or maybe you want to make your bed every day. Or maybe you want to do your laundry once a week. Pick one aspect to focus on for a while, and slowly build on that. After about 2 weeks of taking your dishes to the kitchen every other night, maybe you can add washing them into that. Or after doing your laundry once a week for about a month, you can add folding it into that. If you ease yourself into it, it gets much easier to actually build these habits and not super overwhelm yourself right off the bat. And if you miss a day, that's okay! I'm not expecting you to set a goal and then immediately be able to do it all the time, and you shouldn't expect that of yourself either. Go easy on yourself. Slow progress is still progress. Maybe you're not making your bed every day, but making it once or twice a week is still progress! And over time that once or twice a week will evolve into three or four times a week. And it'll just keep going from there.
On the other hand, if you're trying to STOP doing something as much - the approach is often a little different. Some people like to use timers or notes to show when they last did something so they can see how long it's been or notice changes in whether they're doing it more or less frequently. If it's something like trying to cut back on social media you can set time limits on your phone for how long you're allowed to use each app. These are easy enough to bypass but often times having that reminder of "Hey it's been 15 minutes your time limit is up" can be a reminder to yourself that you want to be more mindful of how long you're spending on these apps, even if you just extend the time limit when it pops up.
Set up alternatives for yourself! It's really hard to say "oh I just won't do that anymore", give yourself something else to do instead. If you want to spend less time on social media, you might instead spend more time reading, drawing, or even playing video games. (Trading social media for video games is a healthy trade I will die on this hill - I don't care how many articles you've seen saying they're just as bad as each other I promise you Persona 5 is not as bad as Twitter for your mental health). If you want to stop smoking, instead have gums, lollipops or a drink you enjoy; or practice breathing techniques when you want to smoke; or if you vape try switching to a lower concentration juice (I'm also trying to stop smoking so I feel you on this it's a tough one). If you're trying to stop SH, have other things like ice cubes, rubber bands, pens, or something that will give you a physical sensation without causing harm (or as much harm). Work with yourself, identify what you're getting from each of these things, and try to make a trade for something that is a little better for you but still gives you some of that thing that you want. Don't beat yourself up if you do still engage in these habits, it is hard to stop. Instead of punishing yourself for still doing these things, praise yourself for doing them less often. (And if you're not doing them less often, praise yourself for being aware of your habits in the first place).
The hardest thing about this whole process is getting the motivation to start. Once you get started it's much easier to keep it going, but that first push to get the ball rolling is the hardest part. For a lot of things you can't wait until you feel like doing it - often that won't come. There are different ways people motivate themselves to do things they don't want to do. Ease yourself into it, don't do everything at once do the first step of the process and then take a little break. For example, if you're folding the laundry, separate it into categories then take a little break. When you come back fold one category, then take a break. Then do the next category. Over time the laundry will be all folded! Set a timer, think about how much time you could reasonably spend doing something. Let's say 10 minutes. Set a timer for 10 minutes, then start whatever task it is you want to do. If you want to clean your room maybe set a timer for 10 minutes and spend that time picking up trash. After those 10 minutes are up you're done. You can come back to more of it later. Often times you'll find that you're able to finish a lot of tasks faster than you thought you'd be able to, and if they're not finished oftentimes times you're more inclined to keep going once those 10 minutes are up since you've already started the ball rolling. Some people use a sort of "rip the bandaid off" technique where they set an alarm to go do something and as soon as that alarm goes off they just force themselves do it. This is hard at first but it does become easier. Think of it like you're jumping into a pool. 3...2...1... GO! Often that initial push to just start walking to go to the thing you want to do is the hardest, and once you're moving it becomes easier.
Tell a friend you're going to do it. Sometimes this helps you feel more motivated to do it since you're giving yourself a little bit of outside pressure to complete the task. On this note, weirdly enough, stretching can help you get motivated to do harder tasks. Like if you want to take the trash out but you're laying in bed, stretching in bed just to get your blood moving can sometimes help you get that initial push to get up and take the trash out.
Work with yourself. Try different approaches, and celebrate your successes no matter how small they may seem. Over time you will find things do get easier, and after tackling one small goal for a month or two, you can add another small goal into the mix.
Some popular app recommendations (I'm so sorry this list is so short - hoping to add to it in the future)
IAmSober - Andriod and IOS - allows you to set multiple goals of things you want to stop doing and shows you timers for how long it's been since you last engaged in that habit.
Flora - Google Play, IOS, and Chrome Extension - sets a timer for how long you don't want to use your phone or computer, once you finish this timer without using your device it grows a tree, and adds that tree to your garden. I used to use this for studying back in college and I quite enjoyed it.
HabitShare - Android, Google Play, and IOS - set habits and keep track of when you've completed them, you can also link with friends to see each other's habits too (although, this is optional you can also keep it private).
These are the best-rated free apps I could find for this kind of thing, if there are others that you use or have used in the past please feel free to comment or rb I would love to be able to add to this list.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope this can be at least a little helpful and I hope it doesn't come off as a "just do it" kind of vibe. I know getting the motivation to start building new or breaking old habits is realllllly hard so hopefully, this is at least a bit helpful T-T
As always, I love you guys and I'm proud of you for being here and doing what you can ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ please feel free to comment or send in any questions, comments, concerns, additions, or anything of that sort ~ ♡
#resource#request#tw sh mention#building habits#breaking habits#jiraiblr#landmineblr#jiraiblogging#landmineblogging#pienblr#hikineet
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Sky Patched Calendar Ver. 0.25.5: A Guide for Sky Events
- Season of Nesting Post-Season Content
- Days of Nature
- Days of Color/Rainbow
Season of Nesting Continues! 🪺 (April 15th - June 30th)
Nesting Challenge Board - a permanent addition to the game, so its quests (and rewards) will remain in the game even after the Season ends.
After completing all the challenges in a tree, several props will be available to unlock: an instrument stand, a music player, and a stone figurine.
Instrument stand: Use it to set out any one instrument from your closet to play. If it’s placed in an area where other players can interact with it, they can play the instrument you set out!
Music player: Plays various pieces of music that are in the game. There are several “channels” that have their own musical themes.
Stone figurine: A decorative figure that can wear any hairstyle, hats, neck items, or capes you have in your closet. (This is a decorative item only; it will not allow players to copy and wear the same items that the stone figurine is wearing.)
Friends' Nest Preview Feature - a new feature that we’re hoping will spark inspiration for everyone: an option in your Nest menu to view other Nests. You’ll be able to “scroll” through a preview of these Nests that favors ones your friends have made while also showing Nests that other players have made too. It’s just a preview, though, so you won’t see anyone in this view, and other players won’t see anyone who might be viewing their Nest through this feature either.
Season of Nesting continues until 23:59 June 30th (all times PDT, UTC -7).
Days of Nature 🌊 (May 27 - June 16; 3 Weeks)
Last year, Days of Nature had supported The Ocean Cleanup, through the American Friends of The Ocean Cleanup, as they work towards a 90% reduction of floating plastic in the world’s oceans by 2040.
During the event you can find 4 event currency each day, placed in different spots around Prairie Peaks. Use these to unlock this year’s new IGC items:
Ocean Mask: 16 event currency
Ocean Blue Scarf: 40 event currency
(16 + 40 = 56 / 4 = 14 Days in order to get both items - 21 Days of the Event = 7 Days of "skip" days)
This year the event will again offer special IAPs to support charity efforts focused on real-world cleanup work in oceans and waterways.
Half of the total list price of items listed here will be donated to these efforts. The remaining amount will cover platform fees (expenses from Apple App Store, Google Play, etc) and a portion of development (operations, taxes, and post-event refunds.)
Nature Wave Pack: 19.99 USD (10.00 USD donation) - Includes 75 regular candles
Ocean Necklace: 1.99 USD (1.00 USD donation)
Nature Sonorous Seashell: 4.99 USD (2.50 USD donation) - This placeable item has a toggle to play relaxing ocean sound effects
Earth Cape: 4.99 USD (2.50 USD donation)
Ocean Cape: $14.99 USD (7.50 USD donation)
Nature Glasses Pack: 19.99 USD (10.00 USD donation) - A toggle for these sunglasses adds a bluer tint to the world around you; includes 75 regular Candles
Nature Turtle Pack: 19.99 USD (10.00 USD) - includes 75 regular Candles
Non-Charity Items / Returning Items:
New Item - Nature Wave-Touched Hair: 6.99 USD
Nature School Cape: 180 Candles
An asymmetrical cape featuring a partially transparent motif
Nature Coral Crown Accessory: 20 Hearts
Nature Turtle Cape: 14.99 USD
Days of Colors/Rainbow 🌈 (June 24 - July 7; 2 Weeks)
This year we’re proud to once again share that we’ll be supporting the The Trevor Project, the world’s largest suicide prevention and mental health organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQ) young people.
Half of the total list price of items listed here will be donated to these efforts. The remaining amount will cover platform fees (expenses from Apple App Store, Google Play, etc) and a portion of development (operations, taxes, and post-event refunds.)
Dark Rainbow Loafers: 19.99 USD (10.00 USD donation) - includes 75 regular Candles
Dark Rainbow Pack 9.99 USD (5.00 USD donation) - includes 40 regular candles
Rainbow Pack flower hair accessory: 19.99 USD (10.00 USD donation) - includes 75 regular Candles
Double Rainbow Pack flower hair accessory: 9.99 USD (5.00 USD donation) - includes 40 regular candles
As you soar around the event space, watch out for 5 rainbow-shaped event currency each day: 4 around the area, and 1 from completing the day’s color puzzle.
Non-Charity Items:
IGC:
Color Glam Cut: 18 event currency
Dark Rainbow Mask: 32 event currency
(18 + 32 = 50 / 5 = 10 Days in order to get both items - 14 days of the event = 4 "skip" days)
IAP:
Color Bubble Machine: 14.99 USD - The bubbles from this prop temporarily change the cape color of the closest player!
Rainbow Earring: 2.99 USD
Rainbow Headphones: 9.99 USD
Rainbow Hat: 9.99 USD
Dark Rainbow Tunic: 14.99 USD
This year’s event is also the one-year anniversary of event currency! These are used for the newest in-game currency items in an event in the current year, so items introduced for event currency last year can now be unlocked for varying amounts of regular in-game currency this year.
Returning IGC items:
Dark Rainbow Cape: 177 Candles
Rainbow Cape: 175 Candles
Rainbow Trousers: 95 Candles
Rainbow Braid Accessory: 20 Hearts
#sky children of the light#sky cotl#thatskygame#(sky game updates)#(days of nature)#(days of rainbow)#(season of nesting)#anxy: the amount of dollar signs I have to replace with USD damn#anxy: also we now know what happens to past event ticket items#anxy: it becomes candle prices the next year#anxy: now we know huh
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Did the thing Apple did with patreon user payments hit you especially hard or do you feel mostly the same?
It starts in November. I suspect there will be a level of suckiness that I can't really control. Will be posting about it in the next week or so as a reminder to folks and then...idk, say a little prayer I guess.
For those who don't know, Apple's app store situation is unfortunately standard, where purchases on an app basically have an Apple tax (30% or something ridiculous) so you'll see jacked up prices when making a purchase through iOS.
I worry that I manifested this because sometime over the Summer I made the mistake of going "huh, I wonder how Patreon gets around that?" and spoiler alert, they were just lucky for a long time. LMFAO
You can get around this by joining via web browser. It's just a bummer that a lot of folks won't know (and you cannot warn people at checkout or you'll get slapped) so it's just sorta...sharty.
Also, the amount of users on iOS is not insignificant, so the worry is that creators may get hit with a sizable percentage of folks who balk at prices and never come back.
Users who are ALREADY patrons do not get charged the additional fee, so that's cool. But if you drop and come back (via iOS) you'll get slapped with the charge. So, it blows.
I didn't get as up in arms about it as some other creators because I already knew that Patreon was playing with Apple's money and they would get got eventually. Unfortunately it happened like...a month or two after I mentally clocked it. LOL
I think the recipe for creators to combat it is to just be vocal about it when pitching your Patreon. Mention it, let people know how to get the best value for their dollar. Don't be ashamed to sell yourself, you're offering a product and hopefully a value that people recognize and would like to make that exchange for!
Corporations suck, and I wish they had some sort of special consideration for creator-centric platforms. A flat tax on the app company vs targeting users at checkout. Anything. But they definitely have such a significant userbase that they can sling their meat all over the place, so...fuck em.
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The antitrust case against Apple
I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT (Mar 22) in TORONTO, then SUNDAY (Mar 24) with LAURA POITRAS in NYC, then Anaheim, and beyond!
The foundational tenet of "the Cult of Mac" is that buying products from a $3t company makes you a member of an oppressed ethnic minority and therefore every criticism of that corporation is an ethnic slur:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/12/youre-holding-it-wrong/#if-dishwashers-were-iphones
Call it "Apple exceptionalism" – the idea that Apple, alone among the Big Tech firms, is virtuous, and therefore its conduct should be interpreted through that lens of virtue. The wellspring of this virtue is conveniently nebulous, which allows for endless goal-post shifting by members of the Cult of Mac when Apple's sins are made manifest.
Take the claim that Apple is "privacy respecting," which is attributed to Apple's business model of financing its services though cash transactions, rather than by selling it customers to advertisers. This is the (widely misunderstood) crux of the "surveillance capitalism" hypothesis: that capitalism is just fine, but once surveillance is in the mix, capitalism fails.
Apple, then, is said to be a virtuous company because its behavior is disciplined by market forces, unlike its spying rivals, whose ability to "hack our dopamine loops" immobilizes the market's invisible hand with "behavior-shaping" shackles:
http://pluralistic.net/HowToDestroySurveillanceCapitalism
Apple makes a big deal out of its privacy-respecting ethos, and not without some justification. After all, Apple went to the mattresses to fight the FBI when they tried to force Apple to introduced defects into its encryption systems:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/04/fbi-could-have-gotten-san-bernardino-shooters-iphone-leadership-didnt-say
And Apple gave Ios users the power to opt out of Facebook spying with a single click; 96% of its customers took them up on this offer, costing Facebook $10b (one fifth of the pricetag of the metaverse boondoggle!) in a single year (you love to see it):
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2021/02/facebook-makes-the-case-for-activity-tracking-to-ios-14-users-in-new-pop-ups/
Bruce Schneier has a name for this practice: "feudal security." That's when you cede control over your device to a Big Tech warlord whose "walled garden" becomes a fortress that defends you against external threats:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/08/leona-helmsley-was-a-pioneer/#manorialism
The keyword here is external threats. When Apple itself threatens your privacy, the fortress becomes a prison. The fact that you can't install unapproved apps on your Ios device means that when Apple decides to harm you, you have nowhere to turn. The first Apple customers to discover this were in China. When the Chinese government ordered Apple to remove all working privacy tools from its App Store, the company obliged, rather than risk losing access to its ultra-cheap manufacturing base (Tim Cook's signal accomplishment, the one that vaulted him into the CEO's seat, was figuring out how to offshore Apple manufacturing to China) and hundreds of millions of middle-class consumers:
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-china-apple-vpn/apple-says-it-is-removing-vpn-services-from-china-app-store-idUSKBN1AE0BQ
Killing VPNs and other privacy tools was just for openers. After Apple caved to Beijing, the demands kept coming. Next, Apple willingly backdoored all its Chinese cloud services, so that the Chinese state could plunder its customers' data at will:
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/17/technology/apple-china-censorship-data.html
This was the completely foreseeable consequence of Apple's "curated computing" model: once the company arrogated to itself the power to decide which software you could run on your own computer, it was inevitable that powerful actors – like the Chinese Communist Party – would lean on Apple to exercise that power in service to its goals.
Unsurprisingly, the Chinese state's appetite for deputizing Apple to help with its spying and oppression was not sated by backdooring iCloud and kicking VPNs out of the App Store. As recently as 2022, Apple continued to neuter its tools at the behest of the Chinese state, breaking Airdrop to make it useless for organizing protests in China:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/11/foreseeable-consequences/#airdropped
But the threat of Apple turning on its customers isn't limited to China. While the company has been unwilling to spy on its users on behalf of the US government, it's proven more than willing to compromise its worldwide users' privacy to pad its own profits. Remember when Apple let its users opt out of Facebook surveillance with one click? At the very same time, Apple was spinning up its own commercial surveillance program, spying on Ios customers, gathering the very same data as Facebook, and for the very same purpose: to target ads. When it came to its own surveillance, Apple completely ignored its customers' explicit refusal to consent to spying, spied on them anyway, and lied about it:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar
Here's the thing: even if you believe that Apple has a "corporate personality" that makes it want to do the right thing, that desire to be virtuous is dependent on the constraints Apple faces. The fact that Apple has complete legal and technical control over the hardware it sells – the power to decide who can make software that runs on that hardware, the power to decide who can fix that hardware, the power to decide who can sell parts for that hardware – represents an irresistible temptation to enshittify Apple products.
"Constraints" are the crux of the enshittification hypothesis. The contagion that spread enshittification to every corner of our technological world isn't a newfound sadism or indifference among tech bosses. Those bosses are the same people they've always been – the difference is that today, they are unconstrained.
Having bought, merged or formed a cartel with all their rivals, they don't fear competition (Apple buys 90+ companies per year, and Google pays it an annual $26.3b bribe for default search on its operating systems and programs).
Having captured their regulators, they don't fear fines or other penalties for cheating their customers, workers or suppliers (Apple led the coalition that defeated dozens of Right to Repair bills, year after year, in the late 2010s).
Having wrapped themselves in IP law, they don't fear rivals who make alternative clients, mods, privacy tools or other "adversarial interoperability" tools that disenshittify their products (Apple uses the DMCA, trademark, and other exotic rules to block third-party software, repair, and clients).
True virtue rests not merely in resisting temptation to be wicked, but in recognizing your own weakness and avoiding temptation. As I wrote when Apple embarked on its "curated computing" path, the company would eventually – inevitably – use its power to veto its customers' choices to harm those customers:
https://memex.craphound.com/2010/04/01/why-i-wont-buy-an-ipad-and-think-you-shouldnt-either/
Which is where we're at today. Apple – uniquely among electronics companies – shreds every device that is traded in by its customers, to block third parties from harvesting working components and using them for independent repair:
https://www.vice.com/en/article/yp73jw/apple-recycling-iphones-macbooks
Apple engraves microscopic Apple logos on those parts and uses these as the basis for trademark complaints to US customs, to block the re-importation of parts that escape its shredders:
https://repair.eu/news/apple-uses-trademark-law-to-strengthen-its-monopoly-on-repair/
Apple entered into an illegal price-fixing conspiracy with Amazon to prevent used and refurbished devices from being sold in the "world's biggest marketplace":
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/10/you-had-one-job/#thats-just-the-as
Why is Apple so opposed to independent repair? Well, they say it's to keep users safe from unscrupulous or incompetent repair technicians (feudal security). But when Tim Cook speaks to his investors, he tells a different story, warning them that the company's profits are threatened by customers who choose to repair (rather than replace) their slippery, fragile glass $1,000 pocket computers (the fortress becomes a prison):
https://www.apple.com/newsroom/2019/01/letter-from-tim-cook-to-apple-investors/
All this adds up to a growing mountain of immortal e-waste, festooned with miniature Apple logos, that our descendants will be dealing with for the next 1,000 years. In the face of this unspeakable crime, Apple engaged in a string of dishonest maneuvers, claiming that it would support independent repair. In 2022, Apple announced a home repair program that turned out to be a laughably absurd con:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/22/apples-cement-overshoes/
Then in 2023, Apple announced a fresh "pro-repair" initiative that, once again, actually blocked repair:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently
Let's pause here a moment and remember that Apple once stood for independent repair, and celebrated the independent repair technicians that kept its customers' beloved Macs running:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/29/norwegian-potato-flour-enchiladas/#r2r
Whatever virtue lurks in Apple's corporate personhood, it is no match for the temptation that comes from running a locked-down platform designed to capture IP rights so that it can prevent normal competitive activities, like fixing phones, processing payments, or offering apps.
When Apple rolled out the App Store, Steve Jobs promised that it would save journalism and other forms of "content creation" by finally giving users a way to pay rightsholders. A decade later, that promise has been shattered by the app tax – a 30% rake on every in-app transaction that can't be avoided because Apple will kick your app out of the App Store if you even mention that your customers can pay you via the web in order to avoid giving a third of their content dollars to a hardware manufacturer that contributed nothing to the production of that material:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/06/save-news-we-must-open-app-stores
Among the apps that Apple also refuses to allow on Ios is third-party browsers. Every Iphone browser is just a reskinned version of Apple's Safari, running on the same antiquated, insecure Webkit browser engine. The fact that Webkit is incomplete and outdated is a feature, not a bug, because it lets Apple block web apps – apps delivered via browsers, rather than app stores:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/13/kitbashed/#app-store-tax
Last month, the EU took aim at Apple's veto over its users' and software vendors' ability to transact with one another. The newly in-effect Digital Markets Act requires Apple to open up both third-party payment processing and third-party app stores. Apple's response to this is the very definition of malicious compliance, a snake's nest of junk-fees, onerous terms of service, and petty punitive measures that all add up to a great, big "Go fuck yourself":
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/06/spoil-the-bunch/#dma
But Apple's bullying, privacy invasion, price-gouging and environmental crimes are global, and the EU isn't the only government seeking to end them. They're in the firing line in Japan:
https://asia.nikkei.com/Business/Technology/Japan-to-crack-down-on-Apple-and-Google-app-store-monopolies
And in the UK:
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/cma-wins-appeal-in-apple-case
And now, famously, the US Department of Justice is coming for Apple, with a bold antitrust complaint that strikes at the heart of Apple exceptionalism, the idea that monopoly is safer for users than technological self-determination:
https://www.justice.gov/opa/media/1344546/dl?inline
There's passages in the complaint that read like I wrote them:
Apple wraps itself in a cloak of privacy, security, and consumer preferences to justify its anticompetitive conduct. Indeed, it spends billions on marketing and branding to promote the self-serving premise that only Apple can safeguard consumers’ privacy and security interests. Apple selectively compromises privacy and security interests when doing so is in Apple’s own financial interest—such as degrading the security of text messages, offering governments and certain companies the chance to access more private and secure versions of app stores, or accepting billions of dollars each year for choosing Google as its default search engine when more private options are available. In the end, Apple deploys privacy and security justifications as an elastic shield that can stretch or contract to serve Apple’s financial and business interests.
After all, Apple punishes its customers for communicating with Android users by forcing them to do so without any encryption. When Beeper Mini rolled out an Imessage-compatible Android app that fixed this, giving Iphone owners the privacy Apple says they deserve but denies to them, Apple destroyed Beeper Mini:
https://blog.beeper.com/p/beeper-moving-forward
Tim Cook is on record about this: if you want to securely communicate with an Android user, you must "buy them an Iphone":
https://www.theverge.com/2022/9/7/23342243/tim-cook-apple-rcs-imessage-android-iphone-compatibility
If your friend, family member or customer declines to change mobile operating systems, Tim Cook insists that you must communicate without any privacy or security.
Even where Apple tries for security, it sometimes fails ("security is a process, not a product" -B. Schneier). To be secure in a benevolent dictatorship, it must also be an infallible dictatorship. Apple's far from infallible: Eight generations of Iphones have unpatchable hardware defects:
https://checkm8.info/
And Apple's latest custom chips have secret-leaking, unpatchable vulnerabilities:
https://arstechnica.com/security/2024/03/hackers-can-extract-secret-encryption-keys-from-apples-mac-chips/
Apple's far from infallible – but they're also far from benevolent. Despite Apple's claims, its hardware, operating system and apps are riddled with deliberate privacy defects, introduce to protect Apple's shareholders at the expense of its customers:
https://proton.me/blog/iphone-privacy
Now, antitrust suits are notoriously hard to make, especially after 40 years of bad-precedent-setting, monopoly-friendly antitrust malpractice. Much of the time, these suits fail because they can't prove that tech bosses intentionally built their monopolies. However, tech is a written culture, one that leaves abundant, indelible records of corporate deliberations. What's more, tech bosses are notoriously prone to bragging about their nefarious intentions, committing them to writing:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/
Apple is no exception – there's an abundance of written records that establish that Apple deliberately, illegally set out to create and maintain a monopoly:
https://www.wired.com/story/4-internal-apple-emails-helped-doj-build-antitrust-case/
Apple claims that its monopoly is beneficent, used to protect its users, making its products more "elegant" and safe. But when Apple's interests conflict with its customers' safety and privacy – and pocketbooks – Apple always puts itself first, just like every other corporation. In other words: Apple is unexceptional.
The Cult of Mac denies this. They say that no one wants to use a third-party app store, no one wants third-party payments, no one wants third-party repair. This is obviously wrong and trivially disproved: if no Apple customer wanted these things, Apple wouldn't have to go to enormous lengths to prevent them. The only phones that an independent Iphone repair shop fixes are Iphones: which means Iphone owners want independent repair.
The rejoinder from the Cult of Mac is that those Iphone owners shouldn't own Iphones: if they wanted to exercise property rights over their phones, they shouldn't have bought a phone from Apple. This is the "No True Scotsman" fallacy for distraction-rectangles, and moreover, it's impossible to square with Tim Cook's insistence that if you want private communications, you must buy an Iphone.
Apple is unexceptional. It's just another Big Tech monopolist. Rounded corners don't preserve virtue any better than square ones. Any company that is freed from constraints – of competition, regulation and interoperability – will always enshittify. Apple – being unexceptional – is no exception.
Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/22/reality-distortion-field/#three-trillion-here-three-trillion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money
#pluralistic#apple#antitrust#cult of mac#ios#mobile#app tax#infosec#feudal security#doj#jonathan kanter#doj v apple#big tech#trustbusting#monopolies#app stores#technofeudalism#technomaorialism#privacy#right to repair#corruption
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Patreon is changing all creators to a monthly subscription model because their hand is being forced by Apple, who has threatened to kick them off iOS Store if they don't pay the 30% tax on in-app purchases. So there will be changes to my Patreon in the future.
Also, don't use iOS devices (iPhones, iPads) to support Patreon creators if you have the option not to.
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Anti capitalist + anti consumerist + anti work master list
*originally started writing this as a reference for myself. may add more later
No buying/no spending options
Libby (books, audiobooks, magazines). you can use multiple library cards. harris county and queens allows you to sign up for a card with just your number.
Hoopla (music)
Kanopy (movies, tv, docs)
Anna's Archive (books, academic papers)
Tubi (movies, TV, docs)
Your local libraries
Bartering. they got facebook groups for this. if you still use that.
Low buy/low spending options
Bookbub
Dollar stores
Thrift stores
Only buy when you need/run out of it. you don't really need another damn notebook (note to self)
lowkey thinking about buying that $25 tablet from five below
Going analog
Book Outlet
Thrift Books
Thrift stores
Blank cd's and an external drive
Food
Learn. To. Cook. get a rice cooker from family dollar. some rice, sausage, chicken, ramen, eggs, frozen mixed veggies,et c etc. get some spices. you can just throw this in for 15-20 min and have a meal. do some experimenting while you at it. start looking at those big back recipes from tik tok while it's still around.
eat less shit. less fast food. less processed snacks.
TooGoodtoGo. pay about $5 to get some surprise bags from different restaurants.
Companies to boycott (if you are able to)
Amazon. you know why.
Walmart. gets tax subsidies for employees on welfare. they aint never giving them a payraise, despite their profits. anti dei
McDonald’s.
Trader Joe's. anti union.
Companies to support instead
Local.
Black owned/BIPOC. buy essentials.
...or make your own shit. read some books, watch some videos to teach you to make skin care, set up raspberry pi, whatever you wanna learn
Making money (for anticapitalist, antiwork, anticonsumerist, autistic, young, wild, free)
Writing on Medium. something i've been doing a little of.
Micro investing. invest $5 here and there to make a little money.
All in on specific niches. see where it takes you.
Qapital. an app where you can save money without having to think about it. this has helped me in a pinch.
Prolific. good way to make a little money. pays thru paypal tho.
anything you're capable of doing
Skills that could actually matter
Herbalism. make natural remedies for chronic issues.
Gardening. grow your own food and kush. (if possible)
Reading. a skill often taken for granted. read all that you can. do annotations. actually do media literacy and ask yourself why you like or don't like a movie, TV show, anime etc etc.
Archiving. with the tik tok ban coming, i've been made more aware of the importance of saving shit. download things. write info you learn down in a notebook or notion.
Self defense. hand to hand combat or a glock. even if you start with practicing with a toy gun.
Sailing the seas
just look up 'pirating' on here
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Kinktober Day 17
Kinks: Blowjobs/Milf
Pairing: Jake Jensen x f!reader (MILF reader)
Tags/warnings: SMUT, mentions of spousal death (brief), blow jobs, oral (m receiving), cum swallowing, drooling, deep throating
Not beta read + on mobile
Summary: Feeling confident for the first time in a long time, you manage to render the so-called "plumber" speechless in more than one way.
As always I do not give permission for my work to be reposted, translated or copied. My warnings are non-exhaustive (even though I do try to capture everything) but please read at your own risk. I am not responsible for your content consumption.
I hope you enjoy; comments, likes and reblogs are always welcome!
A/N: were ignoring the fact there's so many Jake’s 😭 also yes, he's supposed to be on a mission and the team dressed him up - and yes, he uses mint bodywash 💀
Word Count: 2.4k
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It was just another weekday, you had sighed to yourself after you’d dropped your kid at school. You had taken your time at the grocery store, slowly wandering up and down the aisles feeling utterly zombified. You loved your kid – you did – but you were tired. You weren’t supposed to be doing this all on your own. You pushed thoughts of your husband away. No point dwelling on what could have been.
Perhaps you should start dating again – as your friends suggested. Or, as your best friend told you; “you should at least get a good fucking.”
There was a reason she was your best friend.
You sigh again. The thought of making an effort seemed mentally taxing. Dating apps? God. You’d rather die. The only photos you had were from years ago and with your husband. But then again....
Your cart rolls to a stop next to the make up. You didn’t purposefully come down this aisle. You’d been going down every aisle. It couldn’t hurt to look could it?
You couldn’t remember the last time you wore make up. You remembered liking how it made you feel and look; extenuating all of the best features of your beautiful face, making you smile so brightly you could the light in your eyes. You remembered how many memories of parties, weddings – your wedding – and days where you just needed to make yourself feel like the best goddamn thing since sliced bread started with your ritual of make up. From light and natural everyday makeup to party-hard Rocky Horror glam; you felt like a damn star. And you were.
You are.
You look up at the small mirror above the make up section. Your hair was messy, and the bags under your eyes were so vintage, Gucci himself would balk at the price tag. Your eyes flicker to the make up, the little voice in your head asking; when did you last do something nice for yourself?
“Fuck it,” you murmur, adding a few products to your cart. Your eyes scan a Ruby red lipstick, last of its kind, sat in those annoying little plastic trays. It must be fate. You pick it out and read the colour at the bottom.
Mother.
What a coincidence. You smile to yourself and place it in your cart feeling better already, heading towards the checkout.
You are wholly convinced it’s not the make up. It has to be the lipstick.
You came home, put groceries away and showered as usual. But then, the products of your shopping spree looked at you from the bed and with a shrug of oh-I-may-as-well-since-I’m-here you did your make up. You felt a little silly at first. You didn’t feel any different after putting the make up on and you felt foolish sitting in your mirror in your towel expecting something to change. Then you did your hair. Marginally better but nothing awe-inspiring. Then you rolled the red lipstick on with a defeated sigh.
But when your eyes dejectedly flickered back to your reflection, you saw her again. Hair done up, make up perfect , and hell- you were in a towel but it may as well have been designer. The star was back. You wouldn’t admit to anyone that you teared up. Ever. But you did. It took you so long to find your way back to her in the mirror that you can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed.
It was short-lived, however, because with your new lipstick, your new confidence, it was like a switch had flipped. You pulled out on of your old favourite dresses that hugged your curves – one you’d avoided like the plague for too long – and some small heels. God you looked stunning. Sex on legs. You snapped a few photos, sure, but you felt the sudden urge to do something else you loved; making you and your kiddo’s favourite cookies.
Before exiting your room you glanced back once more to the mirror.
“Milf.” You giggled to yourself and descended to the kitchen.
The first batch of cookies are already cooling when you hear a knock on the door. You place your second tray down and teeter down the hallway – feeling a little too much like Bambi in your heels.
“Coming!”
You open the door to a guy in a plumbers uniform that looks like it was taken from a cheap Halloween store. But you aren’t really paying attention to it. He’s big, broad, bespeccled and blond. He looks good enough to eat and you chide yourself for the sudden wash of attraction and wanting to pull him inside. This lipstick has both cursed and blessed you.
Clearly the man – or as his uniform stated Jak – hadn’t paid attention when the door opened because he wasn’t looking at you. You only know he wasn’t because when he did look at you, his jaw dropped so low you thought he’d dislocated it.
“H-Hi um-“ He kept looking at you, unsure where to look besides your face but his brain had turned to mush. You revelled in it.
“Hi,” you smiled, trying not to look too smug. “Can I help you?”
“Uhhh....” he looked away for a second, up the street, scratching the back of his head. “Maybe. The, uh, water company sent me to um... look at some pipes.” He coughs awkwardly but gives you a charming smile.
“Some...pipes?” you quiz raising an eyebrow. You hadn’t heard of any pipe work that needed doing... and the little voice in your head made enough innuendos for you to mull over.
He nods. “Yeah... uh... in the kitchen. Do you mind of I-?”
You step aside immediately allowing him entry. “Of course.”
He follows you through to the kitchen and his eyes grow wide at the sight of the cookies and it makes you crack a smile.
“Help yourself.” You say kindly, moving your second tray into the oven and out of his way.
“Oh I couldn’t-“ He says with a charming smile before popping one into his mouth. He moans dramatically with delight, making you chuckle gently. “These are so good.”
As he gushes over your cookies, crumbs spill over his shirt. You can’t help it, you start to giggle. He's cute, really cute, and you feel a warmth trickle in your lower belly. Once he's gone you can have a twenty-minute "nap" and a cold shower.
"Thanks," You say, blushing slightly. "Feel free to eat more, I don't think I'll be able to eat all of them. Jak, right?"
Jake looks grateful and then surprised, brushing crumbs away from his name badge. He clicks his tongue when he looks at it. "Jake. The e has come off." He grins up at you sheepishly.
"Jake," You repeat, biting back another smile. "Do you want to a drink while you work? Coffee? Soda?"
You got to the fridge, pausing at the handle and see he's looking at you sheepishly.
"Could I have milk please - for the cookies?"
You chuckle softly but nod your head. "Sure, hon."
You set his mug of milk on the counter and chat to him whilst he gets to work. It takes him a while to figure out what he's doing because he keeps talking to you and it doesn't go amiss that he keeps casting glances up to you.
He tells you about his niece and her football team (the Petunias, apparently) and in return you tell him about your kiddo and their hobbies. The conversation between you both is lighthearted and sweet, with Jake managing to get a laugh out of you more than once.
When whatever work he's doing is completed, he gets to his feet and brushes down his overalls and giving you a goofy grin as he does so. But when he moves to get his mug, he knocks it accidentally, sending it careening over the edge of the counter top and onto the floor. You both wince at the sound of the smash.
"I'm so sorry. Let me-" Jake says, going to move but dealing with your kiddo you immediately yell out for him to stay still.
"Sorry -" You bluster apologetically. "Force of habit."
You grab the dust pan and brush from under the sink and get onto your knees in front of Jake, sweeping away the ceramic remnants of mug whilst he continues to apologise. Once it's all cleared away, you sit back onto your haunches with your hands on your hips.
"Don't worry sweetheart, accidents happen." You look up at Jake with a sweet smile. It takes you a moment to realise Jake's face is bright red as he stares back at you and there's an obvious tent in his overalls. Heat pools in between your legs at the sight, a wave of confidence pouring over you. Your tits must look amazing from this angle.
Jake stammers. There's no hiding that he's rock hard and he wants the ground to swallow him whole. Each time he tries to tear his eyes away from you they come right back; your pretty face staring up at him with flushed cheeks and slightly parted lips. And that lipstick. He wanted it everywhere.
"'M sorry." Jake says. "It's just - fuck - you're so hot."
Your day was getting better and better.
You can feel the heat between your legs increase tenfold. Opportunities like this don't happen often. And what had your bestie said about getting a good fucking? In your figurative lap was a hot guy who was hard for you. You'd be stupid to waste this chance.
Your hand dances up his leg, making him jump but he remains stuck to his spot, his breath hitching when you palm at the tent growing between his legs.
"It's alright, I think you're hot too." You murmur up at him. "And if I'm being honest, I would love to fuck you."
He groans out, low and deep, and you continue to massage his hard length in your palm. If it looked anything like it felt, you thought of maybe taking some painkillers in preparation for the ache that would plague your jaw.
"But first," you purr. "I want to taste you."
Jake can't get out of his overalls fast enough. His arm even gets stuck in the elbow of the overalls as you try not to giggle at his enthusiasm, focusing on undoing the buttons at his hips.
Once the overalls are undone and shucked down to his ankles, Jake stands tall in his boxers and a loud graphic tee. His cheeks are still flushed, looking down at you with an excitable smile which morphs into a gasping moan as you cup his balls through his boxers.
"Oh, you like that?" You tease softly, tugging at the elastic waistband of his boxers with your other hand. You give him a cheeky wink. "I'll keep that in mind."
Pulling his boxers down, his cock springs free and Jake is waiting with baited breath to see what you'd do next. His length is impressive, as you'd gathered, velvet soft and heated to the touch. You have a moment of nerves as you lean closer, catching a waft of mint body wash mixed with the scent of him. It had been a while since you'd last done something like this; what if you were bad? Jake didn't seem like the type to complain but still. Maybe it would be like riding a bike. You'd just have to start slow.
You give his tip a tentative kitten lick, lapping at the bead of precum that had gathered and Jake shudders, his cock twitching excitedly in response. You look up at him through your eyelids as you gently fit his tip into your mouth and swirl your tongue around him.
"Oh shit," Jake gasps, his hands gripping the counter top so tight his knuckles went white. You were pleasantly surprised at his reaction - there was no pressure if his hands were in your hair and you could take your sweet, sweet time to build your confidence.
You inch down his length, breathing through your nose, slowly accommodating to his size and the weight of him in your mouth. Jake watched mesmerised as you swallowed him, how your tongue glided against the underside of his cock and along the sensitive vein there and tried hard not to think about cumming there and then.
You made a choked sound when the tip of Jake’s cock nudged the back of your throat and you forced yourself to relax, bracing your hands against his strong thighs and pushing forward so that your nose brushed the thin patch of hair at the base of his cock. Jake groaned another curse seeing himself bottomed out in your mouth and throat.
Your core ached needily at the sounds Jake made, desperate to be filled. However, you were intent on taking your time, and his groans only served to spurr you on. You reared back, keeping the tip in your mouth, before moving back to the base. You repeat the motion slowly a few more times before speeding up, making gargled sounds as drool gathered under your tongue and dripped down onto his heavy balls. Jake was panting, moaning mess above you unable to think past so good it felt to have his cock in your mouth, and how good it would feel buried inside your pussy as well.
"Shit, I think I- oh God -" Jake's cock twitches angrily in your mouth, signalling imminent release. You hollow your cheeks and suck harder, bobbing your head up and down his length hurriedly, ignoring the ache in your jaw. You reach a hand up cupping his balls and give a gentle squeeze, which sends Jake over the edge with a shout of your name. Thankfully, his cock is so far down your throat that swallowing his hot cum is easy and you still take your time removing your lips from his lipstick stained cock, cleaning the spit and pre-cum smothered on your chin.
You smile up at him but he can't see you; he's leaning against the counter top for support, headed tilted back in ecstasy as he catches his breath.
You press a kiss below his belly button, directly onto the line of darker hair. Jake shudders and you can feel his softening cock twitch to the attention, and he glances down.
"If I give you my number," You murmur, gaze locked onto his half-lidded stare. "Will you consider coming back for round two?"
"Yes." Jake says quickly before clearing his throat. "Yeah. I would."
Whilst Jake dreamily gathers his thoughts and re-dresses himself, you pack him a small tupperware box of cookies with a note that has your number scribbled in felt tip (thanks kiddo).
As he leaves with tupperware in hand, he gives you another smile and a quick peck on the lips, making you jolt in surprise.
"Next time, you're going to be the one seeing stars." He promises quietly, heading out the door. You stand in your doorway and give him a small wave, watching him disappear down the driveway and grinning when you see that he keeps looking back to you. You didn't need to be a clairvoyant to know you'd be seeing him a lot.
#jake jensen#jake jensen x reader#kinktober#jake jensen x you#jake jensen smut#kinktober 2024#jake jensen x y/n#day 17#the losers (2010)#gremlin-girly#gremlin-girly writes
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❛ ☾ ◟━ LOCATION: nash's supermarket
❛ ☾ ◟━ TIME: mid-afternoon
❛ ☾ ◟━ STATUS: open to anyone
Coming from a place of privilege, Kimberly didn't have to learn independence. The heiress had her fair share of help, whether it be her driver, nanny, maid, etc. However, when she went abroad for her studies, that's where she willingly learned how to do things on her own. As she got older, the concept of adulting wasn't something she could relate to with someone outside of her tax bracket. However, as soon as she ran away from the Soto Legacy, she knew that it was crucial to adapt on her own—especially in a new country. Out of her day to day chores, there were a few things she despised. One of them was figuring out what to eat. She didn't want to heavily rely on food delivery apps, takeout, or dine-ins, when she's well aware that she has a kitchen that needs to be used.
Currently in Nash's Supermarket, she had been making laps around the store with her grocery cart trying to figure out what to meal prep. By the fridge area, she watched as the last carton of egg was taken from the non-existent pile and it was there that Kimberly was ready to admit defeat. "Maybe this is a sign." she said aloud. "Is there even a point for me to flag someone down when I don't even know what I want?" Turning to the nearest person beside her, she wore a sheepish smile and added, "Apologies, it looks like talking to yourself is a clear sign of hunger...Hm, off the top of your head, what's the easiest meal to make that leaves you satisfied?" Clearly she was looking for quick food-spiration.
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Hello hi!! Hope you have a nice day ♪
Unrelated to PokeTober but, do you play Arcaea? Just wonderin :)
Ngl my brain went "oh i did play that because of the cute furry!!" and nope, that was Sideroca.
But Sideroca is Arknights operator. I was thinking of Sdorica.
Worse, after that, my brain said "Oh wait no! Arcaea is a rythm game, right? The circular-rythm game thing!!" WRONG AGAIN BRAIN THAT'S LANOTA.
Because of the wrong answers twice in my brain (and discovered that the game in my brain is Sdorica not Sideroca) I went to app store just to see Arcaea is 100% not the game I played before.
It's very funny that my brain mistook Arcaea twice with other games and one gacha character.
Oh, the answer is no.
But it's hella funny.
Sideroca official sprite for answer tax.
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sakuatsu week day 7: mid-timeskip
after moving out on his own and settling into a routine, atsumu decides to make a completely responsible decision of purchasing a tablet, along with an attachable keyboard and stylus, because why the hell not?
“why not a laptop?” omi asks during their call. atsumu has propped his phone against his water bottle while he fiddles with his tablet’s settings.
“it’s lighter, an’ doesn’t take much space.” after setting up his account, he opens the app store, greeted with endless possibilities.
"what do you plan to use it for?"
“doin’ stuff online, i guess. beats doin’ taxes on a phone.” for fun, he looks through the fitness and wellness section, finding trackers, guided mindfulness apps, and... "ooh, this looks cool."
"what?"
“this journal app.” he holds it to the camera for his partner. “ya can share it with other people. ya got a tablet too, right? we can use this ta write ta each other!”
omi frowns. "can’t we text like usual?
"this is different! look, there's all these stickers, an' ya can upload pics an' videos. it'll be like a digital scrapbook. have ya ever made one?"
"no."
atsumu grins. "ma has one from when we were younger. s’fun ta look through sometimes.”
"this is coming from someone whose high school motto was that you don't need memories."
instead of a retort, atsumu falls quiet. "we won't be able ta have a lot o' that while yer in school an' i'm here. at least with this, we can still be connected in some way." they agreed to give long distance a shot, knowing that it won't be easy. although in the grand scheme of things, four years is inconsequential, but anything can happen in that time, both good and bad.
omi softens his expression. "you have a point. what's the name of the app? i'll look it up."
they set up a shared journal together. atsumu writes the title of the cover with his stylus. 'tsumu and omi's journal!
the next day, he writes his first entry. i accidentally sprayed my deodorant in barnes' face and thought i poisoned him. bokkun wouldn't stop laughing but i was seriously afraid that i lost brownie points with barnes. he was super chill, though! he adds a picture of the jackals' changing room that he took when he first started, along with a selfie of him and barnes from a bar night earlier in the month.
before going to bed, he checks the journal, heart jumping at omi's entry, also handwritten like his. typical day. i had practice in the morning, then three lectures and a lab. ate cafeteria food for dinner. i need to buy more protein powder. lab report due tomorrow.
omi added a few stickers but no pictures. atsumu checks his entry again, eyes widening at the scrawl beneath his last sentence. the locker room looks nice. is that bokuto from fukurodani? you should be more careful.
atsumu writes a reply, then comments on omi's entry. make sure you get lots of rest!! i'll link you some powder that my teammates recommended. it's pretty good!
the journal becomes part of their routine. some nights, they spend their video calls writing their entries and commenting on what the other wrote. not every entry is lighthearted, though. atsumu, after injuring his back, writes about the reckless play he tried, and how he's out of practice for a few days. omi calls him that night. "how are you feeling?"
"not good," he admits quietly. "bokkun's gonna help me 'round the house 'till i don't hurt as much."
"i'll send you a care package with some cream to help. i hope you'll feel better soon." when he's no longer hurting, he sends his own version of a care package in return.
atsumu knows the end of the semester is approaching because of omi's either very brief entries or very long rants about his professors, classmates, or teammates. one particular entry, though, makes him frown in concern, and he dials his number.
no answer. he tries again. declined. atsumu checks the app, sees that omi is also online. he writes, you okay?
nothing. then, the strokes come, one at a time. no.
this time, he gets a call. “omi?”
a pause. “sorry.” omi sniffles, his voice weak. “i wasn’t…i wasn’t in the right condition to pick up earlier.”
“s’okay. talk to me? what happened?”
he hears him suck in another breath, shuddering and low. “everything is so hard. i don’t have time to do anything, my classmates are the laziest fucks in the world, and all my teammates do is party and get laid. i can’t practice with the regulars because i need to prove my worth, whatever the fuck that means, even though i was recruited. did i tell you that my mom tried arguing with my professor the other day because i got a b on my quiz? it’s because i didn’t study, i had to do everything in my group project for physics, and-“
a sob. atsumu feels his chest tighten. “i miss you,” omi cries. “fuck school, i just want to play volleyball with you.”
“oh, omi.” going to university wasn’t omi’s choice, but his parents’, even though he received just as many offers from pros after high school. “i’m sorry, wait fer me, okay? i’ll be there tomorrow. i’ll be on the first shinkansen after practice. i’ll stay with ya all weekend. i’ll help ya get through this, i promise.”
atsumu is allowed to leave practice early, and he takes the shinkansen to tokyo. he waits for omi outside of his biology lecture hall to surprise him, wrapping him in a tight hug as soon as they make eye contact. “you really came,” omi whispers through his tears.
“obviously. if ya need me, i’ll come.”
they spend the night huddled on omi’s bed in his dorm room, exploring the journal’s features to create a pseudo-planner and calendar, one that they share. “do ya feel better?” atsumu asks, after they planned out the last few weeks of his semester.
omi nods, head resting on his shoulder. “a bit. i don’t know if i’ll follow this, though.”
“i know what ya’ll follow, fer sure.” atsumu swipes to the next month, where he’s penciled in omi’s arrival in osaka, and the circled days where they’ll have together. “you’ll be fine, omi. yer gonna graduate at the top o’ yer class, an’ be the best athlete in the collegiate league. yer gonna get so many offers afterwards, an’ we’re gonna either play together or against each other. we’ll get through it.”
“i know, and i love you for it.”
atsumu kisses the top of his head. “same with ya, babe. love ya with all my heart.”
#flyingwargle original#drabble#haikyuu!!#haikyuu drabble#post timeskip#or should i say#mid timeskip#i should make that an official tag#miya atsumu#sakusa kiyoomi#sakuatsuweek2024#DO YOU WANT THE ANGSTY VERSION OF THIS#I THOUGHT OF AN ANGSTY VERSION OF THIS#possible fanfic idea#but here's the lighthearted version of this instead#comment if you want to see the angst version of this eheh
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