#apothiro

[officeobject]

I wish there was a way to be able to tell if someone is aroace, especially apothiaroace, because I got this one person who acts exactly like my 30 year old aroace OC, and that means they're also weirdly similar to ME, in personality, especially choices, especially especially body-language, ESPECIALLY especially "species of brain"

I'm autistic, apothiaroace, talk to objects, and am a furry.

I've worn a collar, talked to objects or "no one", held my phone a lot, danced a lot, even put a pride flag in my window, and this person doesn't act different, nor look at me any different, when or after - I seriously feel like they don't look at my outfit (except of course, when the weather was bad or windy or cold, in which case they either stared when I came back or glanced a lot of times), and they look at their co-workers happily and casually, while they just DEADPAN at me.

They also can get easily/quickly emotional instead of just casual/content, can't sit still, maybe walk a bit weirdly, have weird staring/glancing habits, have a very specific style or something, gesture with their hands while speaking, and other weird habits I have as well (except I don't gesture).

Also we never met.

They seem to, for whatever reason, not act like anything I do is sexual or romantic or anything ... and I mean, it IS true, but HOW DID THEY KNOW?!

Imma tag this as a vent, because maybe it classifies as one.

[officeobject]

Answers:

Life 1: Be able to make beautiful art, have a lovely spouse, adorable children, a funny pet, a great amount of money, a gorgeous house, chill friends, healthy garden, and generally that kind of life.

Life 2: Nice car, stylish clothes, pretty-looking self, a job that you enjoy, co-workers you like sometimes, a cool view of the outside, yummy and healthy food, and some random person you never met who keeps staring at you and even taking opportunities and whatnot to just be by the window they watch you from, and it's platonic and you might end up liking them too and staring back even though they're nervous around you, or something like that.

This poll has the tags of every group that might be relevant, and some that I'm a part of, as I wanna as THEM specifically.

[flip-flopping-frede]

My attempt at Lithromantic Positivity

I want to preface this by saying I am ~in general~ not a fan of positivity. Trying to “force positivity” is quickly a slippery slope to toxic positivity and superficially. Nonetheless, I feel like I could have realized some lithromantic positivity, and thought it was necessary to share rather than keep it to myself.

It is ok that there’s nothing good about being lithro. It is ok if there are no benefits that we can exploit from ourselves and take advantage of ourselves (or our relationships) with. Lithromantics not necessarily having *any* positives to being lithro (besides our dope flag) means that those of us that have accepted ourselves, are some of the most compassionate, kind, strong, and resilient souls. The amount of self-compassion one has to develop before they can radically accept themselves as lithromantic, is so much higher than essentially any other queer identity.

In a world that has yet to be educated on aromanticsm, aromantics and cupioromantics are scared to date alloromantics, due to alloromantics behaving like it is a “dealbreaker” or “end of the world” if their [romantic] partner is not “in love” [essentially experiencing romo attrac] towards them. It’s valid for both aros and cupioros to be scared to date alloros because of this arophobic mindset they have, tho.

Anyways, a lithromantic might “seem” more appealing to an uneducated alloromantic, since we do experience the romo attrac, or what alloros mistake for “love”. At the same time, once an alloro experiences and returns that romo attrac towards the lithro, the lithro’s romo attrac fades. Not necessarily fades, but flees and turns into romance repulsion (for most lithros). Uneducated, insecure, and/or unaccepting alloros might feel very hurt for the lithros sudden change. Simultaneously, the lithro may also be hurting for not being able to “keep” or “hold on” to the romo attrac. It feels like, being lithro leaves everyone worse off (and is potentially traumatizing for the lithro). This is why lithros who have accepted themselves have learned how to be compassionate and kind to themselves to an extent that most other queer identities never have to go to before they can accept their queer identity, due to there being more external support, education, and acceptance for their queer identities (including for aros).

It is so easy for lithromantics, especially lithros that have chosen to remain closeted, to drown in a sea of their own self-hatred and shame of being an arospec identity that leaves the alloromantics that reciprocated the romo attrac angry and confused. In a world where alloromantics have all the privilege and amatonormativity is everywhere, lithros are so strong, brave, and resilient for existing as our lithromantic identity in a world that refuses to see us, acknowledge us, validate us, support us, accept us, or understand us.

This is where the lithromantic positivity comes in: lithromantics can relate to everyone. Lithromantics know what it feels like to experience romantic attraction; and we know what it feels like to have a romantic relationship look you dead in the face and not want it. We are also romance ambivalent! We understand what it means to have more than one attitude towards romance. We can understand both apothiros and cupioros. We can relate to another largely unknown arospec identity—frayromantism, since frayros also experience involuntary, primary romantic attraction, just like lithros do. We can even relate to alloros in terms of experiencing romantic attraction involuntarily and getting crushes. And finally, we can relate to aros with struggling to desire romantic relationships in the same way an alloromantic does.

There are so many other identities lithromantic is similar to, like aegoromantic, bellusromantic, and frayromantic. Lithros belong in arospec spaces, and lithros’ voices are so valuable to the arospec community. Lithros are essential in terms of helping to bridge the distance and alienation that is only growing between aromantics and alloromantics.

At the same time, lithros need support. Unfortunately, a lot of lithos hate their identity, and feel no pride for it. We don’t feel seen or validated, and a lot of us feel a lot of shame for being lithromantic. I personally didn’t really see any actual lithros celebrating their lithromanticsm during this year’s arospec awareness week, which is sad. We need the arospec community to affirm that are voices are valuable and that our experiences are valid, especially as we are struggling to accept ourselves.

[cheshiire-warper]

Apothiroantag / Apothirovillain [left] ; Gender related to being apothiromantic and antagonists / villains. This includes, but is not limited to, apothiromantic villains or feeling as if one's identity as apothiromantic is inherently villainous

Apothirocantag / Apothirocvillain [middle] ; Gender related to being apothi aroace and antagonists / villains. This includes, but is not limited to, apothi aroace villains or feeling as if one's identity as apothi aroace is inherently villainous

Apothiseantag / Apothisevillain [right] ; Gender related to being apothisexual and antagonists / villains. This includes, but is not limited to, apothisexual villains or feeling as if one's identity as apothisexual is inherently villainous

-

Color Meanings

Based on popular flags

Entomology

[Apothiro]mantic + antag / [Apothiro]mantic + villain

[Apothi]a[ro]a[c]e + antag / [Apothi]a[ro]a[c]e + villain

[Apothise]xual + antag / [Apothise]xual + villain

-

[officeobject]

Personally, I have a weird case.

I AM childish, jealous, have had bad memories, am petty, am pretentious, but also am genuinely apothiaroace, and I say, embrace being a childish bitch if you are! Get all high and mighty and Christian about it! Also I've had an apothiace who invalidated me, and he can go get bothered by my teenage ghost.

Also, bros before hoes.

Being repulsed is really fucking weird. Not wanting to see people kiss, being uncomfortable when witnessing romantic displays, that's all associated with childishness. I've genuinely thought there was something wrong with me or that I was a bad friend for not wanting to hear about my friend's new boyfriend for hours. Or that not liking to see my friend and her girlfriend kiss meant I was jealous somehow.

It's very alienating and othering and simply confusing because most of us go through this for years before discovering there's a word for it and other people feel this way.

[mortisimal]

a mogai blog intended to be a bit more casual. a bit of coining, a bit of reblogging, a bit of talking here and there. feel free to come along for the ride.

(also trying to get better at editing while i'm at it.)

will make rentries whenever i have the energy but as a temporary:

morte/pity/yvonne, she/her, ve/vir, it/its, & others. aplaroace (cupiopla, aegoprose, apothiro). adfemmasc obscurian lacheyn minettine aporangi gothrosboy rexgirl (& more but those are the main ones)

i will take requests now and again if i feel like it but my coining will be primarily self-indulgent.

no dni. i avoid discourse like the plague. just remember plurr and we'll be alright, okay?

[seasonal-brotp-prompts]

Alright, the apothiro flag sucks, has no known meaning, and I've only seen like one good redesign, which didn't get much traction anyway. So I have a better idea.

The cut rose graphic is clean, stands on its own, and can be placed nicely on top of the aro flag (or other graphic). I also think it'd make a nice pin, and the meaning is pretty self-explanatory.

[arovaricious]

You think you're scary? Well watch this-

"I don't feel love in any capacity"

*cue ableists and anti-aspec ppl shrieking in terror and plotting how to best shame me for existing*

[officeobject]

Me sometimes.

(Not originally tagged as a vent).

[Image description: A drawing of myself. I have brown skin and straight black hair. I'm wearing a yellow headband and a yellow plaid dress. My hands are clasped together and I'm cheerfully saying: "I HATE love. Romance should be ILLEGAL. I hope all couples BREAK UP AND I'M GOING TO BLOW UP THIS BUILDING." The speech bubble is colored with the aromantic flag. End ID.]

I think romance sucks and we should all eat sand and cry 💚 /lh

[incluslesbian-otd]

Todays lesbian is a bigender person who goes by ze/hir. Ze is a nebulasexual apothiro andro bi lesbian

Tag yourself!

[star-allos]

Color adjusted nonamorous flag because I like the meaning behind this one but the shade of the V really wasn’t vibing with me and that led to me adjusting the whole thing

[intersexfairy]

🌈 It's okay to be romance repulsed.

💛 Being romance repulsed doesn't make you heartless or evil.

🐥 Romance is not the height of human connection, and romance repulsed people aren't "missing out."

🌻 We all have different ways of relating to people, especially those we care about, and that's okay.

☀️ Romance repulsed people don't need to change. They're perfect as they are.

⚡Romance repulsed people's boundaries, especially around romantic topics, deserve to and need to be respected.

🌙 Amatonormativity is an extremely prevelant construct in our society, and it hurts those who are romance repulsed.

⭐ Romance repulsed people are important members of the LGBTQ+ community, and deserve much more recognition than they receive.

🍋 Romance repulsed people are valid no matter their orientation, whether they're aro, demiro, grayro, apothiro, or any other orientation.

🌈 Having pride is for romance repulsed people too, and it's important to support and uplift the pride of romance repulsed people.

[officeobject]

As a Christian, can confirm that I am so holy, that no man I have ever met, has made me have such preposterous and sinful desires 😎 (I'm an apothiaroace Christian, so I can be pretentious about it).

Source | Day 131

[officeobject]

Me if I met my squish, probably: You're just like me! You're a creepy loser who doesn't get bitches :D !

(I'm tagging everything that contributes to my definitions of these words, and I will not give the definitions, which is the context).

[cupids-rose]

I made some rose flags cuz I was inspired by my discovery of the demirose label 💗💗

In order: demirose, greyrose (greyro + sexual), apothirose (apothiro + sexual), cupiorose (cupioro + sexual)

[aronear]

make romance repulsed aro / apothiro headcanons [command]