#lithro positivity
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My attempt at Lithromantic Positivity
I want to preface this by saying I am ~in general~ not a fan of positivity. Trying to “force positivity” is quickly a slippery slope to toxic positivity and superficially. Nonetheless, I feel like I could have realized some lithromantic positivity, and thought it was necessary to share rather than keep it to myself.
It is ok that there’s nothing good about being lithro. It is ok if there are no benefits that we can exploit from ourselves and take advantage of ourselves (or our relationships) with. Lithromantics not necessarily having *any* positives to being lithro (besides our dope flag) means that those of us that have accepted ourselves, are some of the most compassionate, kind, strong, and resilient souls. The amount of self-compassion one has to develop before they can radically accept themselves as lithromantic, is so much higher than essentially any other queer identity.
In a world that has yet to be educated on aromanticsm, aromantics and cupioromantics are scared to date alloromantics, due to alloromantics behaving like it is a “dealbreaker” or “end of the world” if their [romantic] partner is not “in love” [essentially experiencing romo attrac] towards them. It’s valid for both aros and cupioros to be scared to date alloros because of this arophobic mindset they have, tho.
Anyways, a lithromantic might “seem” more appealing to an uneducated alloromantic, since we do experience the romo attrac, or what alloros mistake for “love”. At the same time, once an alloro experiences and returns that romo attrac towards the lithro, the lithro’s romo attrac fades. Not necessarily fades, but flees and turns into romance repulsion (for most lithros). Uneducated, insecure, and/or unaccepting alloros might feel very hurt for the lithros sudden change. Simultaneously, the lithro may also be hurting for not being able to “keep” or “hold on” to the romo attrac. It feels like, being lithro leaves everyone worse off (and is potentially traumatizing for the lithro). This is why lithros who have accepted themselves have learned how to be compassionate and kind to themselves to an extent that most other queer identities never have to go to before they can accept their queer identity, due to there being more external support, education, and acceptance for their queer identities (including for aros).
It is so easy for lithromantics, especially lithros that have chosen to remain closeted, to drown in a sea of their own self-hatred and shame of being an arospec identity that leaves the alloromantics that reciprocated the romo attrac angry and confused. In a world where alloromantics have all the privilege and amatonormativity is everywhere, lithros are so strong, brave, and resilient for existing as our lithromantic identity in a world that refuses to see us, acknowledge us, validate us, support us, accept us, or understand us.
This is where the lithromantic positivity comes in: lithromantics can relate to everyone. Lithromantics know what it feels like to experience romantic attraction; and we know what it feels like to have a romantic relationship look you dead in the face and not want it. We are also romance ambivalent! We understand what it means to have more than one attitude towards romance. We can understand both apothiros and cupioros. We can relate to another largely unknown arospec identity—frayromantism, since frayros also experience involuntary, primary romantic attraction, just like lithros do. We can even relate to alloros in terms of experiencing romantic attraction involuntarily and getting crushes. And finally, we can relate to aros with struggling to desire romantic relationships in the same way an alloromantic does.
There are so many other identities lithromantic is similar to, like aegoromantic, bellusromantic, and frayromantic. Lithros belong in arospec spaces, and lithros’ voices are so valuable to the arospec community. Lithros are essential in terms of helping to bridge the distance and alienation that is only growing between aromantics and alloromantics.
At the same time, lithros need support. Unfortunately, a lot of lithos hate their identity, and feel no pride for it. We don’t feel seen or validated, and a lot of us feel a lot of shame for being lithromantic. I personally didn’t really see any actual lithros celebrating their lithromanticsm during this year’s arospec awareness week, which is sad. We need the arospec community to affirm that are voices are valuable and that our experiences are valid, especially as we are struggling to accept ourselves.
#Lithromantic positivity#arospec#lithro positivity#lithromantic#lithro#the lithro flag is dope#lithromantic acceptance#lithro acceptance#lithro neutrality#lithromantic neutrality#aromanticsm#aromantic#cupioromantic#aro#cupioro#alloromantic#alloro#arophobic#uneducated alloromantic#uneducated alloro#romantic attraction#romo attrac#love#amatonormativity#romance repulsion#romo repulsion#internal support vs external support#because lithros don’t have external support#romance ambivalent#romo ambivalent
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[Image ID: The Audio bar for the song "The Traveller-A Song for Lithro Ten" by silver-stargazing. The accompanying image is the Tenth Doctor wearing 3-D glasses against the red-orange-yellow lithromantic flag. /End ID]
aggressively arospec week 2023: arospec headcanons
↳ The Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who as lithromantic
I am once again pushing my lithro propaganda but this time in song! Have to say, sometimes it is truly easier to write out headcanons to music. I had to go acapella for this one but I hope to come back to it with an instrument one day.
Anyways, Lithro!Ten and how he interacts (positively and negatively) with romance is possibly the most important headcanon for myself.
The tune is "The Darby Ram" (specifically The Kossoy Sisters' arrangement). The lyrics can be found under the readmore.
V1.
The Doctor went down to London
With Rose Tyler in tow
She thought they’d build a life there
But little did she know that
CHORUS He would travel, travel
Travel here and there, travel anywhere
Didn’t he travel? Travel?
Well, he’d travel with his blue box in the air
V2.
The Doctor started running
A thousand years ago
And anytime he’d settle down
He found it much too slow so he would (CHORUS)
V.3
The Doctor and Rose Tyler
Had meet by happenstance
And the last thing that was on his mind
Was the thought of a romance. He’d rather (CHORUS)
V.4
But romance came a-callin’
Attraction so brand-new
The Doctor’d never felt this way
It had never seemed so true that they would (CHORUS but replace “He” with “They” and “his blue box in the air” with “Rose Tyler everywhere”)
V.5
Rose Tyler said “I love you”
Upon the Bad Wolf Bay
The Doctor smiled sadly.
He didn’t know what to say. He only (CHORUS)
V.6
The romance that he had for her
Seemed to quickly fade
He couldn’t understand it.
He wished that it had stayed. He’d have to (CHORUS but replace “blue box” with “alone”)
#aggressivelyarospecweek#doctor who#tenth doctor#lithromantic#aromantic#romance#just to be safe#lithromantic headcanons#aro headcanons#fan music#filk music#stargazer's tunes#it's been awhile since i've used that tag#feels good#i go months without thinking of music and then suddenly i got wacked firmly on the head by the muse
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Painting my nails in the colours of the lithromantic pride flag to tell my internalised amatonormativity "fuck you"
#aro positivity#had a bad coming out the other day so... yea I need to cope sOmEhOw#and what better way to tell myself and others that I am lithromantic and proud than to present the colours on my hands?#aromantic#aro#lithromantic#akoiromantic#akoi#lithro#arospec#aro pride#aspec#this might be a vent#crappy vents#actually lithromantic#lithromantic pride#akoiromantic pride
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Read me
Nothing is wrong with asexuals for being asexual.
Nothing is wrong with aromantics for being aromantic.
(More identities under the cut, this post is SPECIFICALLY FOR ASPEC’S, PLEASE DO NOT MAKE THIS ABOUT OTHER IDENTITIES.)
Nothing is wrong with cupiosexuals for being cupiosexual.
Nothing is wrong with cupioromantics for being cupioromantic.
Nothing is wrong with fictosexuals for being fictosexual.
Nothing is wrong with fictoromantics for being fictoromantic.
Nothing is wrong with lithro/akoisexuals for being lithro/akoisexual.
Nothing is wrong with lithro/akoiromantics for being lithro/akoiromantic.
Nothing is wrong with quoisexuals for being quoisexual.
Nothing is wrong with quoiromantics for being quoiromantics.
Nothing is wrong with aspec’s for being aspec.
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH US. WE ARE NOT BROKEN. WE ARE NOT WEIRD. WE ARE HERE, AND WE DESERVE TO BE ACCEPTED.
#ace#aro#asexual#aromantic#cupio#cupiosexual#cupioromantic#ficto#fictoromantic#fictosexual#lithro#akoisexual#akoi#akoiromantic#quoiromantic#quoi#quoisexual#lgbt#mogai#positivity#self love#recovery
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Acespec and Arospec pride snails and slugs ! Inspired by an ask I saw @aspecpplarebeautiful get !
[Image ID: two images on a transparent background. The first has five sea slugs, all curved around each other and floating, in the colors of the frayromantic, lithromantic, quoiromantic, aroflux, and aromantic pride flag colors. The second has five snails, all floating around each other, in the gray-ace, aceflux, aroace, reciprosexual, and asexual pride flag colors. On both images, the characters have a thin white border around them. End ID]
#artemis' arrows#judecopeart#pride art#aromantic pride#asexual pride#frayro posi#lithro posi#quoiro posi#aroflux posi#ace posi#gray ace posi#aceflux posi#aroace posi#reciprosexual posi#aro posi#sea slugs#snails#aro positivity#ace positivity#arospec posi#acespec posi
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It’s ace week! Can’t forget our lithromantic pals 👏
#art#drawing#oc art#oc#lgbt art#lithromantic#lithro pride#aaw2020#ace positivity#ace week#ace discourse#lgbtqia#pride#original character
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I hope lithrosexual and lithromantic people have a good day, today and always!
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All arospecs are awesome and they're awesome people. And they're definitely not broken. If you think they're broken, and that they're not LGBTQ+ and don't belong in the community, I will gently ask you to
Go Fuck Yourself
#aromantic#a is for aromantic#aromantic positivity#aro#aro positivity#aromantism#arospec#demiromantic#cupioromantic#autochorisromantic#lithromantic#frayromantic#greyromantic#positivity#lgbtq+#greyro#lithro#frayro#aroflux#autochorisro#cupioro#demiro#aspec#get aromantic trending#get aro trending#💚
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aspec people should invade canada.
there’s about 7.6 billion people on Earth right now
there’s about 36.71 million people in canada right now
according to statistics, about 1% of the population is aspec (although i’ve also seen reports saying the new generation shows 4-5% of the generation to be aspec, but for now, let’s just go with 1%)
so 1% of 7.6 billion is roughly 76 million
so aspec people in the world almost DOUBLE the current population of CANADA
BUT, yes there’s more, Canada has a lot of open space that isn’t inhabited, and due to its amount of land and resources, it could probably fit about 105-140 million people, possibly over 200 million if necessary
(this is based on a comparison of the rivers in Canada to the population sustained by similar rivers in other parts of the world, the amount of land, and the resources)
so basically, i think, every aspec person should go live in canada together and be platonic soulmates and happy and have pride day every day and lots of food puns and no aphobic people :)
#ace#aro#ace positivity#ace pride#aro positivity#aro pride#aspec#aspec pride#aspec positivity#aroace#aromantic#aspec representation#asexual#cupio#lithro#akoi#frey#flux#demi#grey#aphobic#internalized aphobia#canada#pride#lgbtqa community#lgbtqa#happy#world population#invade canada#maybe leave the canadians if theyre nice and we have room
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Lithromantics are fire
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You are valid!
Yesterday during a study session, I got to explain asexuality to my friends and all of them understood and accepted me as I am. I got hugged and told that they support me no matter what (My allosexual friends even joked about how they're the exact opposite of me lol). I even mentioned how I'm still confused about my romantic orientation and they told me that I don't have to pressure myself, that I still have time to know myself better. It was a relief for me.
Last night, I also got to finally talk to this guy I've been having mutual pining with (He's straight af) and clarified what we really are because our other friends kept on asking about it. I had to ask my other group of friends from my previous school for a call to help me not panic in the situation. It was a pain to talk about relationships and stuff because I am personally not into romantic relationships but I really really like him. His presence makes me feel less shitty. I enjoy moments with him. I explained to him about my sexuality, my exact thoughts on relationships and he told me that it was okay, that he understands me. I was hesitant at first, I wasn't sure what was really happening and I was really scared. I've had romantic relationships before and they weren't good experiences. So I kept asking if he was sure, if he was serious, to which he replied that he will adjust and that he is really okay with it. He said that I shouldn't worry because he will do his best in whatever we have. We didn't say anything about it, about a relationship. We just guaranteed what we really feel. For me, that was enough. I really didn't want to establish a relationship, I just know to myself that I really like him and he feels the same way. We even agreed not to answer our friends' questions because I'm uncomfortable with it.
I am still scared but I also want to risk it and see the whole thing develop. It's a big risk but I want to let myself let go for a while and have personal growth, with discovering who I really am (I often have identity crisis and it causes me breakdowns) and understand myself more, knowing what I really want. I discovered that I'm asexual just last year and I still remain unsure with my romantic orientation (I'm sure that I'm bi, but romantic relationships are just...idk). There is still a lot of time to grow. I sometimes feel invalid but with the support I have from my friends, I believe that I'll be okay. I'm not out to my family. My mom has made homophobic, transphobic comments and my dad is extremely homophobic. My siblings are okay, I might come out to them soon because I know they're the ones who will understand. They also hate how our parents are like this.
Right now, I'm just relieved. It's been going well. I'll be okay. I'm writing this post to let everyone who feels the same way I do extremely VALID! There's so much time for growth and you will get to know and understand yourself better! It sucks that feeling really complicated with oneself makes us feel shitty but I just want to let you know that you are going to be okay, and that you are still valid! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜♥️💞💕❣️💗
#lgbtqa#lgbtqai#lgbtpride#lgbtq community#lithromantic#lithro#lgbt#lgbtq#ace#asexuality#asexual#ace spectrum#ace spec#love wins#aro#aromantic#aroace#aro positivity#arospec#platonic#qpp#qpr#qpr positivity#qpp positivity
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(I'm aroace, lithromantic specifically)
Some of my friends seem to find it hard to accept my sexuality because I'm so romance and sex positive 💀 I love talking about crushes and relationships and celebrating my friend's joy in them, plus I'm always like "wow x is so hot and pretty please marry me" with people I form my little temporary lithro crushes on
They don't seem to understand that just because I can't experience sex and romance the way they do and that I don't want relationships in *my* personal life doesn't mean I can't enjoy celebrating it in *their* lives
Like jeez sorry I'm happy for you 🙄
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MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE
You know I see a lot of negativity coming from a lot of lithromantics / akoiromantics, and I know it is hard. It is hard to not being able to love someone back. It is hard to have to tell someone you lost interest in them. And gosh it is hard to realise we may never be happy in a relationship so many others have.
But let us be proud as well. Proud that we’re learning about ourselves and our type of attraction, be it romantic or sexual. Proud that we’ve found others who are experiencing the exact same thing. Proud that we’re doing our best. We’re not intentionally hurting someone, we’re not trying to lead someone on, or being mean. Absolutely not. And let us be proud of that. Let us be proud of each other. And know that I am proud of you all. Whatever your circumstances, whatever your orientation, even if you’re still not sure about anything yet. You guys are amazing and deserve so much more love.
Just be you, and be proud ♥
#but I'm serious here#it is not easy#but it is who we are#and i know we can find someone we are comfortable with#be it a qpr or not#as long as you can be yourself and you're happy#cause in the end that's all what matters#i hope you are happy and having a great day you deserve it so much#positivity#lithromantic#lithro#akoiromantic#lgbtq#aromantic#aro spectrum#aro stuff#ace#pride
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Wait so are you acephobic?
Have to copy/paste myself:
Ace individuals are fine. There’s nothing of moral value negatively or positively in not experiencing sexual attraction. It is a frankly irrelevant piece of information, the same way I don’t care about how people experience any of other facet of their sex life or lack thereof. I do not judge people on how they feel about sex unless it deals with rape.
But I have major issue with anyone who claims that cisgender straight people who don’t feel sexual attraction have a spare orientation that magically makes them LGBT despite oppressing Lesbians, Gay Men, Bisexuals, and Trans and Nonbinary people. I have major issues with ace rhetoric sexualizing LGBT identities via the SAM. I have major issues with ace rhetoric that you can healthily fuck people you aren’t sexually attracted to and date people you aren’t romantically attracted to, seeing as that is rhetoric taken directly from conversion therapy where LGBT people are told to forego their feelings and marry into a straight relationship and remain closeted.
I have issues with the idea that 10-18 year olds are being told that they are oppressed for being disinterested in sex or romance and that if you haven’t finished puberty yet, you’re LGBT and are Different From Your Peers which is fearmongering and just… fucking offensive.
I object to ace rhetoric that sexual orientation is just about your relationship to sexual intercourse when sexual orientation/ the suffix sexual is about sex as in gender, thus saying WHO you are attracted to and nothing more about said attraction.
I have issues with the ace history of using holocaust imagery in their flags and symbols on AVEN. Of using stripes in their flags so people associate them with LGBT people “but not too much" because a lot of cishet aces actually DIDN'T want to be associated with "those people."
I take issue with aces comparing cishet exclusion to TERFs excluding trans women from women’s spaces. When one is LGBT people protecting themselves from their oppressors and the other is cis people treating those they oppress like fucking shit and leading to actual real life violence and suffering as well as legislation that could fucking kill people.
I take issue with ace inclusion going hand in hand with the corporate take over and pride and the liberalism in mainstream LGBT activism.
I’m tired of ace inclusion rhetoric being identical to kink, polyamous, intersex, and pedophile inclusion rhetoric.
I’m tired of people thinking it’s okay o tell strangers and minors their relationship to sex.
I'm tired of those same people thinking that when I use the word bisexual instead of biromantic I am also telling people who I want to fuck when bisexual isn’t about sex. Bisexual aces, minors, and sex repulsed people exist.
I'm tired of people like you dogging me because you so desperately just want me to say "aces are valid!"
When… validity means nothing. Just like the word asexual. Asexual can mean doesn’t experience sexual attraction (except if you’re grey, demi, cupio, lithro... then yeah you can) but does experience romantic attraction, doesn’t experience ANY attraction (unless you’re grey, demi, etc), or just doesn’t want sex. I’m tired of people whose words mean nothing going into the LGBT community and trying to make OUR words mean nothing through shit like the split attraction model or claiming cishets can reclaim queer. All to promote the idea of microidentities that supposedly make you more “queer” the more terms you collect, even though a solid 20% of them just mean shit like “so addicted to porn you can’t get off to real people anymore.”
So, yeah, if you don’t feel sexual attraction, I have no fucking issue with you. But if you support ace rhetoric and the ace community’s destruction of language around sexuality and LGBT identities, then, that’s what I have an issue with.
Not aceness. But ace “activism” which isn’t about destroying rape culture or promoting enthusiastic consent in sex (which I would support) but rather about bullying LGBT people for not including every fucking scatter brained hot take the cishets at the helm of your community can come up with in between watching episodes of Camp Camp and Steven Universe.
That enough for you? Have I made it clear?
LGBT aces are LGBT. Not experiencing sexual attraction and not desiring sex are completely valid, morally neutral things. There is nothing wrong or broken in not desiring sex or romance.
On that front, I am not "acephobic."
But if you're gonna cry "acephobia" when an LGBT person excludes their oppressors who become NO LESS OPPRESSIVE just because they MIGHT not want to fuck their romantic partners... than sure, yes I am.
If it is aphobia to criticize ace terminology instead of taking it on the chin and letting it hurt LGBT people, then... sure, buddy.
If it feeds your victim complex to read this, I Hope you feel full and content. Enjoy being fed.
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i'm a greyro who's closer to the alloro part of the spectrum; can i get some positivity/validation?
You are absolutely valid! The aro spectrum is a spectrum for a reason. There is no maximum number of crushes or “level of attraction” allowed to be part of the greyro community.
We all have our own experiences and struggles that we face, but that’s what makes our community so beautifully diverse. Aro, greyro, lithro, quoiro, demiro and all the many, many other arospec folks - we will stick together and stand our ground against amatonormativity.
Love should be something wonderful to be celebrated, not a requirement that we are forced into. There are so many different kinds of love and while we unfortunately live in a society that places a lot of value on one specific subset, it doesn’t make your love for your friends or pets or hobbies or yourself any less beautiful and valuable. Seeing all the focus on romance, it’s easy to swing in the opposite direction in the arospec community and devalue romantic love, but that would be just as wrong. We are all different and we love in different ways, none of which are worth any more or less than another person’s love.
If you experience crushes or romance, maybe even frequently, that’s wonderful. It doesn’t mean that you’re any less greyro. Emotions are so much more complex than labels could ever be and you’ll always be welcome in this community.
Have the courage to exist, just the way you are. Have the courage to love, whichever way you do.
That’s the most any of us can do.
#ask#anon#greyro#arospec positivity#I feel this turned into more of a rant#but I hope it's still okay
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Hi! Its the anon who requested the lithro headcanons again! I thought i should try to help you out a bit by giving my 2 cents of experience-- with that being said lithromantic for me basically means i get classic crushes, but as soon as the person i have a crush on feel the same i will feel trapped and want to escape. I actually vent write every now and then, and a lot of those are about being lithro. I would have no problem sharing the pieces with your privatly if those would help you out.
Yes! I would be thankful for this. I think it would be very helpful for me actually to see how these traits could be considered positive or neutral in someone's life, as in my personal experience they've only ever been negative. Don't worry too much about me though, it's a bit of a stressful time rn and I'm trying to keep it pretty chill for everyone! Stay safe doll!
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