#anyways this is just a vent against spotify

[mokeonn]

I think the frustrating thing about Spotify recommendations is sometimes it really does introduce me to lots of cool Indie Bands that I really vibe with and allow me to try some new stuff and sometimes it keeps telling me that I need to Listen to Mother Mother (I have not listened to Mother Mother ever and at this point I never will because it is a pride thing.)

Or a random unfunny tiktok joke song from 3 years ago/ a viral YouTube song from over a decade ago.

[asimplearchivist]

‘ 𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓭 . ’

𝐂𝐇. 𝐈𝐕 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

[𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓼𝓽'𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽] [ 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 ] AO3 | SPOTIFY | PINTEREST summary ☾ ⤏ you manage to impress the boys’ mysterious patron. pairing(s) ☽ steven grant/reader | marc spector/reader | jake lockley/reader word count ☾ 6.8k a/n ☽ ⤏ this took wayyy too long but it’s finally done! now i get to work on the fun pieces since plot is out of the way! the next one should be a chapter taking place between i and ii, featuring the immediate aftermath of steven returning home from cairo! :) ☽ MASTERPOST ☾   ☾ PREVIOUS CHAPTER ⤎ ☥ ⤏ NEXT CHAPTER [TBA] ☽

The first time Steven had met you, it had been strictly by happenstance.

The first time Marc had met you, officially, it had been an accident.

The first time Jake had met you, it had been an inevitability.

The first time you met Khonshu, it was somewhat (if not mostly) expected.

It wasn’t long after you moved in with the boys (a couple of weeks, maybe)—almost a full year after officially beginning to date all three of them. It started with you finding the little Djehuty statuette that Steven had gifted you from Cairo’s backstreet markets turned onto its side where you kept it on the bookshelf over your side of the bed one morning after Jake had already left to start his driving. You had righted it, figuring that it had been knocked over by the bed shifting during the night—sometimes the books fell over because the mattress was propped up right against the shelves, and…well, sometimes things were moved around. Passionately. (Ahem.) You hadn’t given it any further thought beyond that.

…Until it happened again the next morning, anyway. Then the morning after that. And while your relationship with the boys was by no means lacking, you knew for a fact that it wasn’t your (albeit frequent) evening exertions that were upsetting the figurine that consistently.

The fourth morning in a row, you stood at the foot of the bed with your arms folded over your chest and your fingers drumming over your mouth. Steven was rustling around in the bathroom getting ready for his shift at the museum, and when he emerged, still trying to tame his unruly curls, he raised an inquisitive brow at your puzzled expression. “What’s wrong, love?”

You pointed at the statuette. “Poor Thoth keeps getting knocked over. I’m trying to figure out what’s causing it.”

“You don’t think…” He gestured vaguely towards the bed, cheeks darkening as his voice quietened bashfully. “...you know.”

“That’s what I thought at first, too, but it’s been every night recently. You guys were wiped out last night, so...” Your brow furrowed as you looked up into the rafters. “The vents aren’t strong enough to blow it over.”

“Maybe it happens when we swap the driver’s seat. I do know we toss and turn quite a bit.” Steven stepped in behind you, curling himself around your back and hooking his chin over your shoulder to tuck his nose behind your ear. “We can move him if you’re worried he’ll break.”

“Yeah…that’s probably a good idea. I’d hate for his beak to get chipped off or something.” You twisted in Steven’s arms and leaned up into his chest to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. He’d gotten away with not shaving again (much to Marc’s chagrin, you were certain), and you caught a whiff of his cologne on his collar as you hugged him tightly. “Let me know if you want to meet up for lunch.”

“Will do, love. Be careful going to class.” He kissed your forehead, lingering just long enough to tempt you to drag him back to bed. “Laters, gators.”

“In a while, crocodile.” You waved him out of the door, then set about getting dressed to head up to the campus. You crawled over the mattress to scoop up the figurine carefully into the cradle of your palm, running your fingertips over the fine, hand-carved glyphs in the base of the polished lapis lazuli. You set it in the windowsill overlooking Steven’s crowded desk amongst your plants, smiling as the sunlight poured over it and cast its silhouette across his papers.

You found it knocked over again when you came home from your classes.

You got there before Steven did, thankfully, with fresh ingredients in tow for supper. You didn’t even notice it until you had put the dish in the oven to bake and wandered past his desk to grab a quick shower. The fallen statuette caught your eye because it was lying prone on top of one of the books Steven had left open, languishing in a trajectory of direct descent from where you’d set it that morning. Almost as if…well. Was the idea so far-fetched?

You had your suspicions, although you had dismissed them as silly at first. Odd, inexplicable, borderline supernatural things had happened in the time since you’d first met Jake. After a week or so of all three personalities getting acquainted with each other, Marc had sat you down to explain their story—the full one, starting with the untimely death of his brother. All the pieces that you had been given or had gathered yourself before then had been woven together that night during the long stretches of silence Marc had to take to organize his thoughts and to compose himself. It took well past midnight to get through it all since dredging up bad memories wore on Marc’s (admittedly limited) emotional threshold in ways you deeply sympathized. Despite the utter bizarreness surrounding the latter half of his life, it all made sense. You had no reasons to doubt him after everything that you’d witnessed since you’d met Steven in the first place.

…Although, the concept of him having served a real life Ancient Egyptian deity had certainly been a tough wad to chew, if you were honest. What you had always considered simple characters in the (supposed) myths related to the Ancient Egyptian pantheon were, in actuality, alive and kicking—and still involved in humanity’s affairs, to an extent (some more than others, obviously). You’d had to reassess all the knowledge you’d learned about the culture, and a long discussion with Steven about such implications had carried throughout most of the next day.

(You had thought it strangely fitting, though, for them to be the avatar of the god of the moon. It suited them in ways you could not express with words…save, perhaps, that white was one of their best colors.)

You weren’t privy to the renegotiation of the terms for their agreement with said deity, since they did it one of the following nights while you slept, but they had told you that morning that they would continue to act as the Moon Knight when time allowed or if pressing situations—strictly local, as they weren’t keen on traveling anymore unless it was strictly necessary—occurred that the rest of the pantheon couldn’t handle. They had been firm in their boundaries, for which you were thankful; hearing about the manipulation that the god had utilized to ensure Marc’s cooperation had made you sick to your stomach, so knowing that they had settled on an exchange that was comfortable for all three of them was an immense relief.

Since then, they only spoke of him like one would their annoying and somewhat demanding boss. You knew that he was condescending, arrogant, and lofty. He complained almost constantly. Steven said he reminded him of a petulant child who never got his way. But, for all that, you still had no idea how Khonshu really was in person, or what he even looked like—and you suspected part of their arrangement might have had something to do with that.

You still blamed the lunar deity for the strong drafts through opened windows that would scatter your papers while you worked on your projects, the blown light bulbs when you stayed up late with the boys, and the eerie shadows, silhouettes, or noises which you witnessed in the middle of the night while suffering with your insomnia, however. You couldn’t see nor hear him like they could, evidently, but you’d figured out rather early on that it could not be a simple coincidence that you had only just started experiencing your first paranormal activities after they had revealed their direct involvement with a primordial, eldritch entity.

Based on how infantile all three of your boys had described him to be, it would not have surprised you one bit to find out that Khonshu was defacing the one monument in the apartment dedicated to another god—even if it was completely unintentional on your part and was only meant for decoration as a sentimental keepsake (though you’d wondered about Steven, being the sneaky little troublemaker he could be when pressed to react to things spitefully).

You took a lingering gander around the apartment from where you stood, squinting into the shadows, but found no signs of the potential otherworldly intruder. Not that he would make himself known to you, you were certain—why would such a superior being stoop so low as to make himself known to a lowly mortal like you, after all? Just because you were in a relationship with his avatar? You found that notion highly unlikely.

With a sigh, you took poor Djehuty and tucked him into one of the upper drawers of Steven’s desk amongst loose papers and things in hopes that he would see no more abuse and left the room to clean up before the boys got home.

Still. If he could be so petty as to knock over such an insignificant bit of merchandise, then you could only imagine what his goals were. To frighten you? You were more intimidated by the thought of him having one wrong interaction with the boys, not with you. You didn’t have as much to lose to his malicious tactics in mental warfare. You were troubled, sure—you’d never dare claim that you were totally sound—but you were acutely and worriedly aware of the fact that Marc’s system was still more precarious than you’d like to openly acknowledge. 

They’d adjusted to each other for the most part. Consulting their therapist had helped immensely—to your great surprise, Jake had taken quite the liking to talking with her despite how closeted he’d acted with you at first. He’d fared better once he was exposed, forced to reveal himself, like you’d expected. Marc had been deeply suspicious and untrusting at first, but Steven had been the first to cross the gap to bridge mutual understanding between the three of them. They bickered endlessly, just like brothers, and now that they were fairly comfortable with each other you found it more endearing than anything. You were glad they were finally getting along…at least until another quibbling argument came up, anyway (although they were rarely serious, fortunately). They could treat each other with the silent treatment like nobody’s business; whoever caused the offense usually would come to you to try to remediate things, but you tried to stay out of their quarrels as tactfully as possible. (You knew it was healthy for them to work through their problems on their own, as their therapist had suggested to you once during one of your occasional requests for advice on how to handle them with care and respect rather than ignorance and disregard—but damn if it wasn’t hard to ignore their puppy-dog eyes.)

But they still had their bad days—everyone did, and with fewer issues and traumas to work through, too. Those were the days you worried about them most: when whoever was fronting was quiet—not from immature sulkiness, but from feeling melancholy about whatever was bothering them. Those were the nights that you guarded them jealously, holding them close and giving them all the extra love they would never readily admit that they needed nor wanted—all for fear that their own personal specter would come and haunt them at the most inopportune of times in his own avidity.

To your distress, it seemed that night would be one of those—you sensed it even before you laid eyes on the man wedging the door open and shuffling through the too-narrow gap he afforded himself. In the middle of divvying out the food onto plates, since he’d texted you when he’d reached the bus stop near the complex so you’d know it was him at the door, you’d glanced over your shoulder to confirm your unfortunate gut feeling.

Chin tucked against his clavicle, Steven went about toeing off his shoes and putting away his things as quietly as possible, almost as if he were afraid to draw your notice or to disturb you. He shed his jacket, shook it out, and hung it up without even looking in your direction.

“Steven,” you said gently, but even that low tone still made him jump and jerk to stare at you with rounded eyes. “Hey, I’m sorry. Are you okay, baby?”

And just like that, what little resolve he seemed to be clinging to crumpled like wet paper. He grabbed at his frazzled hair with both hands and hid his face behind his forearms, already startling to sniffle and shake, clearly overwhelmed and finally having reached the tipping point for the day.

You padded across the floor to him as quickly as you dared, taking care not to make any extra noise or sudden movements, recognizing his reaction and knowing that any sudden stimuli would only worsen his condition. You brushed your fingertips against his elbows to let him know you were there, lightly touched his shoulders with a soft, inquisitive hum. He lowered and opened his arms to make room for you, but he kept his head down until he could bury it into the crook of your neck with a miserable, warbly sound that rent your heart in two.

“Hey, darlin’,” you murmured, gently pulling him into a hug that he returned fiercely, like one would a life preserver. “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Y’didn’t,” he mumbled, scruffy lips brushing against your shoulder as his warm breath bloomed over your skin. “Just…had a day, yeah?”

“I’m sorry,” you sympathized. “Was the noise too much again?”

“Yeah. Kids were loud. Teens were louder. Ran into Donna when I was clockin’ out.”

Ah, hell. That always made everything ten times worse. That devil woman epitomized the mountainous stress Steven had felt when he thought he was losing his mind, so when he had the bad luck to bump into her—especially when he was overstimulated—brought a lot of that back to the forefront…to him and to you, both.

You remembered that fateful morning that he’d come to the bookstore seeking solace, how hard it had been to restrict your nigh unignorable concern for him in that state wandering off chasing a lead that sounded like it had been pulled straight out of a spy film, how badly it had upset you to see him so distressed and confused and frustrated—all right before he’d disappeared off the face of the planet for two of the longest weeks of your life and had faced a hell unlike anything you could ever possibly imagine.

“You don’t have to talk it out if you don’t want to,” you told him, reaching up with one hand to run your fingertips through the curls bordering the nape of his neck while the other rubbed circles between his shoulder blades. You rested your chin on his shoulder, too, feeling his rapid heartbeat against your breast with how tightly he was crowded against you. “You want to sit for a minute? Want me to turn some of the lights off?”

“No, I’m…I’m all right. Thank you, love.” He drew in a deep, shaky breath, fingers digging into your back, and released it slowly. “Might wash off first, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” you responded. “Do you need anything in the meantime? A cup of tea?”

He paused, hesitant. “...Chamomile?”

“On it.” You turned your head to press a chaste kiss beneath his ear. “You know that you can always ask me for anything. I don’t mind doing things for you.”

“So you’ve said.” Lots of times, actually, and yet he still didn’t quite seem to believe your generosity. You’d long since learned not to take offense by that incredulity, and he’d gotten much better about accepting it since you’d both admitted your feelings for each other—but he’d been mistreated and disregarded for so long that his old insecurities bubbled back up when he hit a low like this. “Still think I’m incredibly lucky to have you, love.”

“And I’m so very blessed to have you, darlin’.” You leaned back just enough to peer up at his tender, watery eyes through his unruly, tangled curls. Out of habit you reached up to comb them back, even though you both knew they wouldn’t stay there for long. “I switched out the wash, so your favorite sweats are dry. They’re in the top of the drawer.”

“Thank you,” he sighed, smiling softly. He reciprocated the kiss between your brows, lingering there as he subtly smelled your skin and the products perfuming it. “Want to pick somethin’ on the telly in the meantime?” Meaning he wouldn’t mind the noise.

“Sure. I’ll put your plate in the oven so it doesn’t get cold.” You leaned forward and up to catch him in a full, loving kiss before releasing him. “Don’t forget that it’s your treatment night.”

“Right.” He offered you another grin, slightly more relaxed and genuine. Marc and Jake were more fastidious and consistent about tending to their hair than Steven was, since he often needed reminders of what he needed to do to it and when, but you just considered it a part of your job to help keep them looking as gorgeous as ever. “See you in a mo’.”

“Take as long as you need,” you told him, but gave him a wink. “But not too long, or I might join you.”

That managed to coax a boyish little chuckle out of him, and your nerves dissipated for the most part. It didn’t seem like the sensory overload wasn’t as bad tonight as it had been in the past, thankfully. That he was willing to watch some TV was a good sign, although you were already thinking up some lower energy series or movies that wouldn’t push it (or him).

Steven always turned into a cuddle bug when he needed some quiet time, so you made the necessary preparations. You put the kettle on the stove, turned off most of the lights despite his gentle protest, and brought the blanket from the dryer to drape over the couch so you could wrap the both of you up in it. By the time you were getting his cuppa ready, he shuffled back into the main section of the apartment while rubbing his eyes.

“Not sure I can last a full film, love,” he mumbled as you herded him to the couch, setting him down with the blanket over his lap and placing the saucer and cup in his hands. “Somethin’ quick to get us through eatin’, maybe?”

“Sounds good to me. Some of our channels updated.” You bustled back into the kitchen to grab the food, then settled in next to him. “Are you feeling fashion history or archaeology?”

He hummed a bit into his tea, then set it down on the coffee table so he could dig in to the meal you’d prepared. “Fashion. That hand-stitching is so mesmerizin’.”

It also put him to sleep faster than any ASMR he’d ever tried at the peak of his supposed sleepwalking issues—he’d laughed at that realization once you’d introduced him to the genre, shaking his head all while fighting to keep his eyes open.

You leaned over to bump your shoulder against his affectionately as you grabbed the remote and began to scroll through the tabs. “Look, she’s made a Darcy shirt this time. I should make you one, too—course it would probably spend more time on the floor than on you, sadly.”

“All that hard work, just to catch dust,” he mused, eyes glittering with mirth. “I love you.”

“A shame, truly.” You pressed your cheek against his arm as you pressed play. “I love you, too, baby. We’ll hit the hay early tonight so you can recuperate better, okay? I’m tired, too.”

“Yeah.” He nuzzled the top of your head with a low, rumbling sigh of contentment. “Can’t argue with that.”

You forgot to bring up the statuette like you’d planned to.

You had always been a heavy sleeper by nature, growing up never having to share a bed and owning a room all to yourself. Perfect darkness and background noise usually in the form of the AC or thunderstorms on a noisemaker helped to lull you asleep since you were a bit of a chronic night owl. Once you succumbed, though, you slept like a corpse—or so you’d been told.

But when you’d moved in with the boys, you’d faced a long adjustment period. It didn’t help that they were relatively light sleepers—and while Marc struggled the most with night terrors, the others didn’t have an easy go of it, either. Insomnia reared its ugly head at times, and you always tried your best to stay up with them when their body couldn’t shut down, but—more often than not, unfortunately—you ended up drifting off despite your best of efforts. They didn’t seem to mind, though, and Steven had been the most vocal about it; he cited that it was soothing to have you there, even if you were “snoozin’ away,” because it gave them a reason to stay still. Whether you were holding them or vice versa, each one of them had confessed that having you there resting at their side helped them to relax to an extent, even if they didn’t end up catching a wink. You told them once that simply laying there with their eyes closed still gave their body much-needed time to decompress, and their restless frustration seemed to ease after that.

Thankfully your body had finally grown accustomed to sharing a bed with someone else since then—and your quality of rest had even improved by being so close to the men you loved.

Despite their mental struggles, you did wonder why they struggled as much as they did at times because they worked their collective ass off constantly. Two jobs to keep the bills paid plus occasional ventures out into the night at Khonshu’s behest meant that—when their schedules overlapped too frequently for too long—they’d get overloaded and thus severely fatigued faster than what made you comfortable. This often led into the mental breakdowns usually prompted by overstimulation and thus resulted in taxing them beyond what a single night’s rest could manage. 

Poor Steven could barely keep his eyes awake once he fed himself full (and didn’t manage to eat the whole serving, either). He slipped off at some point during the meal, head falling to rest on your shoulder. You almost hadn’t the heart to rouse him again, even if it was to gently coax him to go brush his teeth and settle into bed while you put the dishes in the sink to be washed in the morning. By the time you turned out all the lights, cleaned yourself up, and climbed under the covers, Steven was adamantly futzing with his phone in a plain effort to remain awake—for your sake, likely.

“Want me to put that on the charger?” you asked softly as you crawled closer to him.

He glanced at you, eyes bleary, and nodded as he handed it to you. “Yeah. Thanks, love.”

“Of course.” You took it and twisted onto your side, fumbling for the cord and setting it on the shelf over your side of the bed. You then snuggled up to his side since he opened his arms to you. You maneuvered your pillow to cushion his bicep and you laid your temple there with a contented sigh, curling an arm over his chest and relaxing as his own coiled around you. You tipped your head to kiss his shoulder. “I love you.”

“Love you, too, poppet,” he mumbled, and with a quick peek you saw that his eyelids were already shut. “G’night.”

You smiled softly and stilled. “Good night, boys. See you in the morning.”

Steven hummed, an absentminded sound indicating how close he was to tipping. You weren’t terribly far behind him yourself.

It wasn’t until the faint flicker of a light against your eyelids in the other end of the apartment made you realize you’d dozed off.

You sluggishly lifted your head and blinked rapidly to clear your vision, squinting through the dim into the cavernous room. The bookshelves were arranged in such a way that the majority of the bedroom space was hidden away from the rest of the apartment, but through the narrow gaps between and above the rows upon rows of books you saw only darkness. The few beams of moonlight spilling through the windows offered little in the way of illumination. 

You watched for a moment, confused and dazed and struggling to keep your eyes open. After at least half a minute of not seeing anything, you dropped your head back onto your pillow with a soft sigh. The man next to you snuffled in his sleep, tugging you a bit closer with an indistinct mumble. You closed your eyes with a low, flat hum.

Clack. Thump. Clack. Thump. Clack. Thump.

Your body jolted, neck straining as your head jerked back up. The surge of alarm that coursed through your bloodstream in an instant cleared more of the fog from your mind. You shivered as the temperature of the room seemed to dip. Frissons rocketed over your skin and caused every last hair to stand on end. You braced an elbow beneath you to sit up, apprehensive.

Was that…a silhouette in the dark, or were you seeing things?

The lights flickered again. A looming, eldritch specter cast a shadow over the bed in that split second of clarity that stung your eyes and caused them to water before the room was plunged once more into pitch black. You reached down on instinct, hand lighting on the arm still slung around your waist. Your voice emerged shaky and hoarse, terribly quiet. “Baby.”

Like the result of an incantation, the man lurched. You didn’t dare to tear your eyes away from the now empty space where you swore you had seen a ghost, but your pulse began to thrum in the pit of your throat as he stirred with a grumble. “...Wh’s’it?”

“Tell me I’m not seeing things,” you whispered, so softly that you almost didn’t hear it over the thundering in your ears—was that ringing simply tinnitus or something else?

“What’re you…talking about?” The hand at your abdomen cupped your belly, and you stole a glance down at the heavy-lidded eyes peering up at you bracketed by thick lashes. Marc looked confused, and you wondered at this being the one time that the body seemed to have relaxed enough to enter such a deep sleep…or whether they had simply been that tired.

“Marc,” you breathed, tipping your head forward. “I don’t know, but…I think…is it—?”

A cold chill made you shiver again, and this time you felt Marc’s body stiffen. His hand slipped up to your sternum, fingers spreading over your chest, flat and firm as though ready to pull you down with him. He was still struggling to wake up, you could tell, but the sharp crescents of the white of his sclerae against his umber irises cutting towards the same direction at which you’d been staring was telling enough.

You found yourself holding your breath as he watched for a long, tense moment. His arm flexed, ready to anchor you down. Then he let out a gruff, low huff and croaked, “...You’re not supposed to be here.”

You strained your ears and eyes, trying to pick out any indication of what—or whom—he spoke to, but now you only saw the bookshelves amongst the moonlight and the shadows.

“I don’t care. This was part of our agreement.”

You glanced back at him again in trepidation.

“No. It doesn’t matter. You know that you’re supposed to—” His jaw clicked shut, and you watched the tendon flex at his temple in agitation. He scowled. “You can’t be serious.”

“Marc,” you said softly, stomach twisting.

He squeezed his eyes shut, drew in a deep breath, and held it. You felt his fingertips drum in time over your shirt: one, two, three…then he exhaled slowly. Then he looked up at you. “Got to go, baby,” he murmured, and you saw that he could scarcely still keep his eyes open.

You stared at him for a long moment. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on. You frowned at him. “No.”

Marc’s brow softened just slightly as he pressed lightly on your chest. “Hey, it’s fine. Something came up. I’ve got a job to do. I’ve tried not to let it interfere so far, and nothing’s really happened, but there’s—”

“It is in the middle of the fucking night, Marc Spector,” you hissed. “It’s obvious that you’ve all had a day from hell, and you don’t need to be gallivanting across rooftops as exhausted as you are. It would benefit no one if you got hurt in the process, or slipped up and accidentally got someone innocent involved.”

“I know it’s not ideal,” he tried to soothe, tipping his chin up and relaxing his expression. “But it’s not just something that I can let slip by.”

“I think the fuck not,” you muttered, pushing his shoulder down as you sat up and faced the darkened interior of the flat. Your voice grew firm, echoing off the walls. “Khonshu?”

Marc tensed, his fingers coiling around your wrist as he opened his mouth, but you didn’t falter.

“Steven and Jake are working two different jobs to make ends meet since you don’t exactly offer any benefits,” you began tartly, “on top of taking many of their nights to follow you around…God knows where doing God knows what. They’ve had a long week to boot. I respect that you’re trying to keep us all safe in your own weird, misguided little way, but I’m sure putting away petty criminals can wait. If you don’t have a world-ending emergency queued up for them to solve, then I don’t want you to set foot near them again until the weekend is over. They need to get some damned sleep.”

Marc murmured your name, but he was obviously fading fast despite his persistence—a testament to their weariness. You smoothed your palm over the slope of his arm without looking away from the shadows stretched out across the hardwood floors. The eerie, anticipatory silence made you shiver again, the weight of the air in the room threatening to suffocate you.

Marc flinched under your touch at the same time that the lights flickered ominously. His eyes cracked open again—but just barely—and fixed on an otherwise empty portion of the room (closer to the bed, you noticed). His free hand curled into the sheets with whitened knuckles.

You had the distinct impression that someone was staring right at you. The prey-driven portion of your brain, the flight instinct, was screaming at you to cower and duck, hide and wait until the danger passed over. But this was the love of your damned life, and you would sooner die than back down to some dusty ancient deity who felt a little too entitled to the body he inadvertently shared with you, now. So you ground your jaw, held your ground, and trained your glare on the place Marc was watching with bated breath.

You swallowed thickly. “With all due respect,” you said, low and terse, “fuck right back off into the cosmos where you came from, Khonshu. Come back Monday night.”

Marc breathed your name, something like fear couched in his raspy tone.

You waited. No more lights, no more sounds. Then, like taking a breath of fresh air after being underwater, the pressure in the room lifted in a heartbeat—you swore that the temperature rose by several degrees. Your anxiety settled almost instantly, but you only let your guard down once Marc’s rigid frame loosened and sank back into the mattress.

“Holy shit,” he mumbled.

You released a heavy, shaky breath. “He’s gone?”

“Yeah. I didn’t think he’d—”

“I’m tired, honey.” You clamped a hand over your mouth as a yawn forcibly rent your jaw open. “We can talk about it in the morning.”

“Baby—”

“Marc,” you sighed, just a hint of a whine creeping into the edge of his name. “Please. Just go back to sleep.”

His hands guided you as you settled back down against his chest. He tugged the sheets up and over your shoulder, fingertips brushing the shell of your ear in so doing. He nuzzled into the nape of your neck and let out a sound of disbelief.

“What?” you mumbled, already fading fast after the unexpected adrenaline surge.

“...You didn’t have to do that,” he said softly. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” you returned dryly. “He’s not going to come into my damn house and jerk you around like you don’t belong to someone else.”

Marc’s sleepy chuckle was warm, low, and rumbled against your spine. “He won’t be happy about it.”

“He can go cry to pantheon HR or whatever the hell. I won’t let him walk all over you.”

“I think he’s learned that now.” He laid a gentle, lingering kiss below and behind your ear. “...I love you, baby.”

You leaned back to press the length of your body against his. “I love you, too.”

“I had an interesting conversation this morning, querida.”

You roused, mostly from the voice rumbling in your ear, but also from the lips skimming up the slope of your shoulder and neck. You shivered as the stubble scraped against your sensitive skin, fumbling with a heavy hand behind your head until your fingers wove their way into the meticulously gelled curls brushing the shell of your ear. The resulting sigh that shuddered over your warm flesh sent gooseflesh erupting over your skin.

“Mmm? With whom?” you mumbled, tilting your chin to allow him more room.

“El pájaro de la muerte,” Jake murmured.

Your eyes shot open and you leaned back enough to squint at him through the crust blurring your vision. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t meant to get you guys in trouble, I just wanted—”

“Ssh,” he chuckled, reaching over you to cup a hand around your cheek to draw you into a sweet, chaste kiss. “No one’s in trouble, least of all you or me.”

You frowned, wiping your eyes clean with your fingertips before resting your hand over his. “But…Khonshu isn’t upset?”

“Oh, no, he’s livid.” Jake’s eyes glittered with mischief.

You sat up slowly, glancing across the interior of the apartment with no small amount of trepidation. The tepid morning light steeped through the windows, providing lukewarm gray light that offered little warmth or illumination. So goulish silhouettes were to be seen, no haunting supernatural phenomena to be had.

“He’s not here—off pouting on top of a skyscraper all sulled up, more than likely.”

“I wasn’t trying to butt into your business. I know that it’s…complicated between you two.” Your lips thinned. “I just don’t like that he jerks you boys around, even after you talked things out with him and made an agreement. Supposedly. But I worry about Marc especially.”

“Oh, he knows by now that he’s stuck in here with us, not the other way around.” Jake flashed you a devilish grin and tapped his temple. “I made sure of that. Between Steven and I, he won’t give Marc any more trouble like he used to. That’s why I made it a point to talk to him this morning.”

You gave him a soft smile of relief. As far as he had come—as all of them had come—you still fretted. Needlessly, perhaps, but…well, it was one of your greatest talents.

But despite the fright it had given you, and the agitation you’d felt towards the deity (about whom you couldn’t decide was more realistic an option: that he simply felt he stood too far above you to reveal himself, or that he felt too uneasy to do so…had your bluff worked?), you had to admit to your curiosity—which had arguably piqued since you’d inadvertently interacted with him for the first time on a somewhat official basis.

“...What did he say about me?” you asked him with no small amount of trepidation.

“He said you have ‘too much audacity to contain in one frail mortal body’ and that you ‘would only bring trouble in your wake’. You royally pissed him off.”

Your brows furrowed in concern. “Then why do you look so smug?”

Jake’s grin broke out into a full, beaming smile. “Because I’ve never seen anyone able to get under his skin like that—not even the last guy. He didn’t stop talking about you the whole damn night, kept tossing around threats that he’d send you packing.” He laughed, then, a bright, boyish sound. “I think he likes you.”

“I…how on earth would you get that conclusion?” you questioned dubiously.

“Because I finally told him that you weren’t going anywhere,” Jake said plainly. “You’re our girl—you take care of us, make sure we stay running at top efficiency. If he wanted you gone, then he’d have to find a new avatar, too. He got real quiet after that.”

You shook your head. “...I still don’t see how that could possibly mean that he likes me.”

“Because he told me that you’d make a suitable replacement.” Jake’s eyes twinkled, belying the worry you might have felt knowing that Khonshu would ever consider you to be his ‘fist of vengeance’. “He used that as leverage against Marc while he was still married to Layla, but I’ve learned that Khonshu is very picky about who he chooses to be his fantoche. Only those he thinks have the most potential make the cut. We know better than we used to—you’d have to agree to his terms and conditions for that to happen, and you’re a smart enough cookie to call him on his bullshit, just like Layla did—just like you already have.” He stooped down and nuzzled into your neck, laughter still brimming from his belly. “I told him that he’s going soft.”

You couldn’t say that your peace of mind was any more alleviated than before, or that you understood completely, but as long as a literal ancient god wasn’t threatening the wellbeing of yourself or your lovers, then you supposed you shouldn’t press the issue.

“So…” you started tentatively, “does this mean I have his seal of approval?”

“Not that you needed it in the first place from a dusty old dirtbag like him,” he snorted, pulling back to eye you appreciatively, “but I’d say he likes your spit and vinegar. He did say he was surprised that you didn’t back down from him.”

“I didn’t even see him.” You raised a brow. “Did he really say that?”

“Basically. But the semantics don’t really matter.” Jake nudged your chin with the crook of his finger. His tone deepened. “You stood up to the god of vengeance without flinching once—for our sake. I’d say that you’re deserving of a reward after that.”

Heat crowded your cheeks as your body instinctively responded to the memory of that particular register. And even as he leaned in to pepper kisses along your mandible, fingers closing carefully around your throat to anchor you in place, your mind recalled the one detail that had consequently initiated your exasperation with their patron to start with.

“Will you ask him to stop knocking over the figurine that Steven got me in Cairo?” you complained, making him draw back slightly in surprise. “I don’t want him to break it, but if he does then he’s getting me a new one. It’s special to me.”

“It’s an image of another god,” Jake chuckled, lips curving as he returned his attention to your neck. “Of course he’d be jealous.”

“Jealous?!” you protested, hands falling onto his shoulders. “Why would he be jealous?”

“He’s used to commanding total devotion. Iconography not related to him is offensive.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as his lips found the tender place behind your ear once again. “That sounds like something Steven would say.”

“He did, actually.”

“Steven acted confused about it, though.”

Jake chuckled, wedging himself closer. His hand slipped to the middle of your back so he could leverage you back into the mattress. “Oh, he was, but you know him—he figured it out pretty quick.”

You gave him a dubious look. “Why didn’t he say anything? I was almost convinced I was going crazy.”

“He was being a smug little shit about it. He likes getting under Khonshu’s feathers.”

“He has feathers?”

“Not that I’ve seen—it’s figurative.” He snorted and kissed you. “Now hush and let me do my thing.”

“And here I thought you didn’t like referring to women as objects.”

Jake huffed a laugh and reached for the hem of your sleep shirt.

[tooclosetothestaars]

Dumb introduction post

Hi, my name is Liana :) I just post whatever I want on here. My thoughts, feelings, rants, vents, reblogs, stuff related to my favorite shows or movies or books or music, etc. My birthday is: November 27, 2007 (11/27/2007).

I LOVE music and fiction. I love TV shows & movies (that includes k-dramas, animes, etc) and books. Music is what I love the most in the entire world and fiction's second (sometimes I wonder if it's a tie lol). I wonder if I'll ever find someone I love and like as much as these things 😃

I listen to lots of different kinds of music, but I wouldn't say my taste has as much range as some people, who really have a diverse taste in music. I have favorite artists, but my music taste includes so many different kinds of songs that are from beyond the music from these artists, and an artist usually becomes my favorite when there are really quite a lot of songs by them that I love/like.

My favorite artists are: The Neighborhood (band), Chase Atlantic (band), Radiohead (band), Mitski (solo artist), Taylor Swift (solo artist), Madison Beer (solo artist), Cigarettes After Sex (band), The Weeknd (solo artist), Arctic Monkeys (band), Alex G (solo artist), Ariana Grande (solo artist), Lana Del Rey (solo artist), and probably more. But again, these are not all the artists I listen to. The amount of songs I love is...many. Not describable with words. I have some Spotify playlists if you're interested and want to check out:

Ok I just realized how many playlists I actually have. I'm gonna make a separate post for this, I don't have all of my playlists here. I have to add some songs to some of these playlists too

Anyway, so I'm actually currently working on making a list of literally all my favorite songs EVER. That's tough but I know I can do it..

One thing about me is that fiction impacts me very deeply, and so does music, but fiction just impacts me in very significant ways. I've noticed that the shows/movies/animes/books that are the saddest and cause me the most pain always end up being my favorites. I think I'm a bit of a masochist... I also actively seek out heart-wrenching shows and movies and books or whatever pieces of fiction and put them on my (numerous) lists. I have this enormous list of animes I want to watch where there are categories, and the category for sad animes is the longest. There are so many series' and movies I want to watch, books I want to read, music I want to listen to, and I have this desire to watch/read/listen to them ALL , even though my lists have a plethora of those things.

My favorite colors are: Blue, Green, Black, Gray, White, Purple, Brown, etc (I low-key love all colors...). I like the darker colors more, kind of. I love these colors so much, and I really love blue I think..

I'm an anti-natalist, I'm pretty sure (I don't exactly like to give myself absolute labels like that or "identify" with things, but this is the easiest way to explain something I think, or explain what/how I think about a certain thing; it just makes things easier so yea) which you can search about if you don't know what that is. I discovered this philosophical perspective through Reddit, and I had no idea this was even a thing, but I already had thoughts very similar to it. If you want to know more about it, I'd suggest you check out the r/antinatalism subreddit.

I'm an agnostic atheist too and I don't like religion (i.e: "established" religions, like Islam and Christianity), in fact, I may even hate it. I hate Islam and Christianity mainly and I have many reasons for that. I used to be a muslim when I was younger, or perhaps just a believer in allah, but not anymore, obviously. I also particularly hate the concept of heaven and hell and the rules in religion, and I have many issues with and arguments against the idea of "God" (the Christian God, the Muslim God, etc). I've thought about this so much and I realized the deeper you go into questioning the idea of "God", criticizing it, finding arguments against it, asking questions, etc, the more and more it just doesn't make sense at all. It's like one thought leads to another. Like the roots of a big tree. It's pretty complex I guess Basically, I have a lot of thoughts on this topic.

I have quite a lot of 'controversial', unpopular thoughts and perspectives. The more I learn, the more I notice this happening, sort of. Just for example, I think most parents aren't good parents. I'm not even sure there is such a thing as "good parents" anymore, thanks to a great comment I read in the anti-natalism sub, because bringing human beings into this world is not a "good" thing in the first place, honestly that very act itself can be considered child abuse I think, so, I don't know...☺️ But I agree. Probably. Yes. There's a lot to think about. I don't think there's such a thing as a "good parent". There are what I chose to call only 'better' parents and 'worse' parents, and most people are worse parents. But that's hard to explain to a person, right? So that was only one example that I have tons of more things to say about, and see how it led to more thoughts that sort of went in a different direction? Yeah, it's complicated

Basically, I have some unpopular thoughts. I've noticed I don't find it hard to accept new ideas/facts/information/knowledge unlike many others, if they're presented to me in an intelligent way, with proof/proper explanations, by someone who knows what they're talking about. Does that make sense? I'm only saying this because I noticed that for some reason a lot of people literally reject new ideas/facts/information even when they're presented with the 'correct' arguments for them, and even with evidence, etc by people who know way more than them on the topic they are talking about. There are many reasons for that, I know. I want to know why I'm not like that and why I find it easy. I also know I should question and critically examine things, too, and I try to do that, to the best of my abilities. I really learn so much from the internet, almost rapidly. It's like I'm constantly learning and gaining knowledge..

I'm very interested in psychology and philosophy. One psychology related topic I'm very interested in in particular is the 16 psychological types and the functions. I love @akhromant 's blog on this, big fan of it and I think that's probably the only blog I've ever read that's also my favorite.

I actually kind of have a whole story about this, I mean getting into MBTI, and I find it so funny lol but that's for some other time.

I have so much more to say and I already said too much on this introduction post and I don't think there's anything more significant or important to add here, so, oh wait let me just explain my username.. It's a part of a lyric from one of my FAVORITE SONGS EVER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD which is Reflections by The Neighborhood. I can't even talk about this. About how much I love that song and more by The Neighborhood and what it means to me. I don't just feel this way about this song in particular, but so many more. Maybe one day I can try to put it into words. But I can only ever try.

My asks and messages are always open, you can vent to me, rant to me, tell me anything, ask me anything, show me stuff, etc. By the way, I'm good at comforting people and I often end up in that position (or should I say put myself in that position....) so I can be your 'pretend therapist'. Feel free to reach out to me, I'm here for you.

Okay, that's it :) This was really long..but I have a lot to say I guess, and I end up explaining and getting into the details most of the time I think, I don't know. And if you, whoever you are, would be interested in being friends with me, message me 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ :)

[urbestamgirl]

betty - taylor swift

Hey guys, this is the first thing I´m posting in here just because I needed to vent about my break up and how I´ve been feeling and what´s better than to make it about my bias. Idk, I hope to write more in here from now on XD.

Warnings: just angst no fluff nothing, not well written just actually venting about my real life problems, mentions of partying. I guess that´s it yeah.

It´s 4 a.m. and your phone buzzes and the light creeps into your darken room. It´s been rough falling asleep tonight and that notification was far from helping you. You roll around in bed making sure that looking at your phone would be a good decision. It wouldn´t be, though, you knew that the moment you took a look at whatever it was, any sight of sleep you had would vanish through the window. Five minutes have gone by and you were far from managing to sleep. You grab your phone and glance at it, only to realize how long this night would actually be.

A message from your ex was displayed in the screen. It´s been, roughly, six months since you´ve broken up and there hasn´t been much of a communication going on between the both of you. This way, this text, in the middle of the a.m. caught you by surprise. Now, you had another decision to make, would you even open it or leave it for the morning. Sleep was out of reach by any means, you would either end up bawling your eyes out or just too curious to sleep.  

This time, you decide against your natural instincts, you drop your phone by the nightstand and roll to the side hoping sleep would catch by. Needless to say, it didn´t. Another hour passed and even the sun started to show up behind the buildings and trees in the horizon. You open the message. It was a link, well, a Spotify link to a song. “Betty” by Taylor Swift started playing through your speakers as you just paid attention to the song.  

“I can dream about what happens when you see my face again”

It´s 11 p.m. and you enter the club, a loud hip hop song blowing through the speakers, as you wait by the door for your friends to come in and join you. You feel a tap on your shoulder and when you turn around, you are greeted by a hug. “Hey”, you reckon this voice belongs to Jisung, your ex´s friend, the one you along with the best anyways. You hug him back, happy to see him again after so long, only for, the moment you let him go, another hug to greet you, this one, far colder. “Hi Y/N”, now this voice, you recognized even faster. Bang Chan, your ex, stood in front of you.  

To be honest, before you left your house, you considered he might be there, he has always liked this club and you even went there together sometimes. But his greetings really caught you by surprise this time, last time you´ve seen each other, four months ago, he ignored you the whole night like you never even happened. And just like that, before you can make out anything from the situation, he turns back to his group of friends, as your own friends join you and give him a dirty look.  

“You heard the rumors from Inez, you can't believe a word she says”

Your break up six months ago was all-in-all peaceful. Of course, no break up is done without leaving bad feelings. As he said, he just wasn´t in love with you anymore, both of you were really busy and he needed some time only for himself. “Is there someone else?” you ask. The tears streaming down his face pace up and he nods. “Who is she?” you insist. “Sana”, he answers quietly, no point in hiding anything anymore. “The girl you promised you had no feelings for multiple times?” you ask out of spite. “It´s not like that Y/N” Chan says “I swear I had none, I just felt this last night and I don´t think that´s fair to you.”  

So far, you haven´t cried, your whole World was shattering and you could just stare in disbelief at the puzzle being put together in your mind. “Did anything happen between you?” he denies it. “I swear it didn´t. I just felt like it, felt like kissing her, and I told the boys, they got really mad at me, but they agreed that it wasn´t fair to you and I should be honest to you. I swear nothing happened and nothing will happen between me and her.” your face remains dry as you reply “Well, you can do whatever you want now, you’re a single man” he tries to hold onto your hand, like he´s not the one leaving you “I promise I won´t, I feel really bad about this and I don´t ever want to hurt you that way.”  

You nod, choosing to believe in his promise, he leaves your house for the last time, as your ex this time. Only once he´s inside his car, you lay down on your bed and break down, feeling like you were choking and broken, more hurt than ever before.  

“The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you”

You chose to believe him, give him the benefit of the doubt. The first two weeks after your breakup, you were still in denial, believing he would show up at your house and apologize. It was exactly fifteen days after your break up when the house of cards finally collapsed.  

You were talking to a mutual friend of yours, when he finally admitted, that he saw Chan and Sana together, kissing and talking, and that they left together afterwards. You felt so stupid, for trusting his promise, for waiting for him to come back, to cheat on your own instincts like that. You had always expressed to him how insecure you felt about her, how she was an idol like him and they had so much more in common and they could talk for hours about this universe of theirs. He always laughed about it, like it was such a foolish idea and you let it slide because you couldn´t bear a World without him.  

Fifteen days after your break up was when you decided you should move on, and it wasn´t easy, most days you were stuck in bed crying. Specially those you saw a picture of them through a mutual friend, when you saw their interactions or when paparazzi photos leaked.  

“I was walking home on broken cobblestones just thinking of you when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions, she said "James, get in, let's drive". Those days turned into nights, slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long”

All in all, it has been half a year since you´ve broken up and you were over it mostly. Your friends kept asking how you were but you were actually okay. The only thing that could get hurt by now, was your ego. You enjoyed the night like always, you drank, danced with your friends, laughed, tried your best to not even look his way. Every time you did, though, you saw Sana´s hands all over him and you turned away and kept dancing.  

Your best friend warned you that he´s been starring a lot, but you chose to ignore it, knowing by now that hope was a bitch.  

“But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself?”

Once you were already tired from all the dancing, you said bye to your friends and drove off home, wondering if seeing you, still messes with him the way it messed with you.

And that´s when two hours later he sent you that song. You were a mixed of rage, sadness, emptiness, irony. How could he leave you? How could he ignore you? How could he break his promises? How could he continue to hurt you in such way? How could he act like he had all those feelings? Knowing all of these were his options, he decided to break up, he decided to move on, he refused to maintain a friendship with you. Now here he was, sending you this song, after he saw you, like he was a victim of some sort. And you hated him, because if he just said the right things, you´d go back to him all again.  

[universalsatan]

obligatory introduction post

hi guys i'm mando. (my father and abuelo are nando).

i'm trans in a hyper-macho/repressed way (han solo, dean winchester, indiana jones, you get the picture), bi in a very gay way (i have been pining over the same idiot for the past 5 years, which might make appearances in tags), adhd and autistic in the sexiest way possible (oscillate wildly between golden retriever and spock). i also stream on twitch sometimes, under a pseudonym you totally can't find by snooping through a music link included in this post.

this account is literally whatever i feel like (occasional 18+ humour, follow under your own discretion etc etc). the only thing i properly tag anymore is vid so i can find them again easier, and "personal" if i gotta vent or whatever (for potential tag blocking purposes). i still update the star trek blog, my dean aesthetic blog, and my bfu one (once in a blue moon), but they are products of past hyperfixations (which i may or may not return to on occasion).

i do a lot of writing (give it up for escapism as a coping method 🤪), particularly on my ao3 (+pwp account), of which i'll post updates on my writing blog as well.

fanfic-wise, there is always a lot of variation, so your best bet at prediction (especially considering my chronic exhaustion as a deterrent) is the fandoms list on ao3 or the stuff i've been posting on this blog. original work-wise, i tend to write comedic satire. i currently have one published work, but it is in my university's anthology, and i will not just dox myself so easily lol. once my exhaustion clears up and i start to submit to magazines/contests again, maybe i'll start sharing that too.

i am also an academic (ewwww). i am planning on going to med school and doing research (and have been considering writing papers in the near future too), but am also a huge nerd in both musicology and english related stuff, ESPECIALLY media analysis. (i don't tend to post a lot of media analysis, but i might pop off in tags if my meds freshly kick in)

autism fixation is definitely music (as in, way too much music history—eg. i was obsessed and even crushed over classical composers in elementary school; am always in a handful of music ensembles and own 20+ instruments atm; musicology in the sense of theory and how different songs/genres function and how we as people interpret them; music in cultural anthropology ie how it has affected history in a broader sense and the societal impacts of things such as the western teaching of music (bad), how music has been used as a voice or for protest and to convey different messages, the effect of music in film, my beef against terms like "jazz" or "folk" because (for jazz) like 95% of music can fall under the definition).

ANYWAYS. you can look at my playlists (shoutout to bad taste in music (real, not fake) ), but since a lot of them are messy/outdated and i mostly rely on albums/already-made playlists, feel free to follow my spotify for the sole reason that you can see what i'm listening to (or whether i'm actually having a good taste for once or i'm going insane listening to heinz baked beans the who or megalovania on repeat for 7 hours again)

[just-otter-thoughts]

I need to vent about this real quick because it's so silly but is giving me an identity crisis.

My entire harsh belief of vinyl as inherently better than digital is absolute bullshit. I listen to music with the express intent to experience exactly what the artist wanted me to. That's why I moved from shitty Spotify AAC streaming to FLAC. The difference is night and day, and I can very easily tell if the bitrate of an MP3 or AAC is any lower than 256kbps because my ears are accustomed to FLAC, especially in songs I'm really familiar with.

It's a factual statement that any lossless audio codec is going to sound better than a lossy compressed MP3 or AAC or OGG or *shivers* WMA. That is not the case when comparing vinyl to CD, however. Long story short, I was on Instagram and on a comment section, someone was complaining about the "shitty resurgence in vinyl." I promptly responded that it's not shitty at all, and that a hard engraving of the signal is simply superior than any digital media we have nowadays.

I was wrong as fuck. Someone started telling me that vinyl isn't perfect like I thought it was — and it's my fault that I don't know, really, because I just took "hard-engraving of audio signal" as a synonym of "you don't have your experience skewed" so I thought vinyl was perfect — and that there's so much that can happen to it, things that simply do not happen to CDs.

And I'll tell y'all... I wanted this person to be wrong so bad. But they weren't. I Googled it and went past page 2. I searched it up on Reddit. I read audiophile articles. On vinyl, the bass is more inaccurate, you have wow and flutter, signal to noise ratio, all these things that just don't happen on CD. (And I'm talking specifically CD here, again, streaming audio quality is shit forever! Even if you have lossless streaming, that's gonna depend on your internet quality and a ton of other factors like what device you're listening from. Unless someone wants to prove me wrong about this too, which, hey, after today you're welcome to). My only argument against the Instagram stranger was audio signal aliasing which is inherent of 16-bit 44.1kHz signal, but even that is masked by the audio equipment, and audio anti-aliasing is much much simpler than video and it's also necessary to drive speakers anyway.

And I felt so lost because I have this dream of collecting vinyl. It's so freaking expensive too, and I literally always daydream of taking it out of the sleeve, out of the inner sleeve, dusting it a bit, setting it on the mat and putting the needle down, then experiencing exactly what's in the master, no bullshit whatsoever. And to discover that right now I'm having more hinderance-free fidelity with my FLAC audio files and my kind of studio-grade audio interface and headphones hurt my feelings so bad. That's not to say I'll stop wanting to collect vinyls — I already have the equipment anyways — but damn it if it didn't kill my dream.

It's an option, as well, to collect both. Hell, I'm a lover of physical media and that one you can't argue me out of thinking it's inherently better than intangible files. So writing this made me feel better (a bit, because purchasing two audio formats means more money spent) because I've updated my inspirations. I want both. The problem, really, is just distortions and problems added by vinyl but that can be preferrable.

My dream is really to have an entire room dedicated solely to physical media. Shelves upon shelves upon shelves of vinyls, tapes, DVDs, Blu-Rays, Books, and now the most recent addition: CDs. I already have two albums on vinyl (which I haven't listened to entirely, mostly due to the fact my turntable has been on repair for like a month due to payment complications (I'm underage and my parents are poor)) and I wanna get them on CD now. Hell, give me a live album on DVD or Blu-Ray, I want it all. I wanna hoard media. In fact, right now, in my computer, I have a folder called Data Hoarder. It's where I keep movies, TV shows, tons and tons of music, books and so many game installers and physical media rips. I have a version of Half-Life, one of my favorite videogames, that was released on a CD-ROM in 1998! A digital rip of it, of course.

The folder is currently 388.6Gb, out of which 158.4Gb is games, 20Gb is movies, 102.9Gb is TV Shows, 27.6Gb is Anime, 26.2Gb is music, 42.6Gb is ROM dumps of old games, 106Gb is just PS2 games, and the rest are miscellaneous files. I'd rather it all to be physical but hey, ya can't win 'em all.

[kurtanaaa]

Hi I love your chatfics please could you give me a list of the new directions’ private stories and who can see them?

YES I CAN AND I CAN ALSO GIVE YOU A KISS ANON I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME THIS

okay this is going under a cut bc i am going to talk A LOT!!!! oh i am so excited jfjdjfjksls

so i’ve made a list of what i thought their private story names were before but that was before i really started writing chatfics regularly so this is a great chance to do it again!!!! lets get into it!! this isn’t gonna include the newbies bc i’m setting this before s4 :/// sorry yall

Brittany: my private story -miss girl doesn’t really like private stories with weird names. they confuse her :/ how is she supposed to know what it is if it’s named something weird like 99.9 virgin radio? that’s just a radio station babe! -everyone in new directions is on her story, along with lord tubbington (she made him a snapchat account), a bunch of vocal adrenaline kids she made friends with by accident, some of the haverbrook kids, a couple warblers (trent. she likes him a lot), and most of the cheerios! lauren zizes and matt are also on it!!! -she has banned all football players except the glee guys from her private story. they don’t get her fun times.

Santana: real lesbian girl shit -she’s a megan thee stallion fan and also gay. not much else to it!!! -again, all the new directions are on it, except occasionally she removes finn just to test his patience. she also has lord tubbington bc she loves her girlfriend. all of the cheerios are on her story and she uses it to make announcements to them sometimes (every time a cheerio leaves the squad she boots them from her story). she does NOT have lauren zizes (still salty over the hallway fight) but she does have matt!!! that’s pretty much it tho she doesn’t like to be too public with her crap

Mercedes: TOTS -bitch loves her tots and she made the story when she and kurt were bitching at each other about them. she won’t change it ever. -EVERYBODY is on cedes' private story bc everyone loves cedes. she’s got lauren, matt, most of the warblers that she met through kurt and blaine, a bunch of haverbrook kids, a good chunk of mckinley that she’s met through classes and such, sunshine corazon, even a couple girls from that all girls acapella group at season two nationals. unique is on her story too!!! she keeps up with everyone!!! -she has ALSO banned most of the football players. it is a point of soreness for the majority of them that they don’t get the privilege of being on her story.

Kurt: i diagnose you with gay -he saw a meme that said this once and laughed his ass off so he had to use it -kurt has a surprising amount of people on his story. he’s got all the warblers who were at dalton when he was, he’s got all the new directions plus lauren and matt, all of the cheerios who were on the squad when he was, a bunch of haverbrook kids, sunshine, a few mckinley students he made friends with, unique for SURE, and even some of the nicer football players. he also has karofsky on his story (bc hes too nice for his own good), sebastian smythe (so he can post pictures of him and blaine and make him jealous) and jesse st. james (so he can bully him directly). for some reason coach sylvester is also on his private story. no one except kurt and sue know why and they’re not revealing their plans to anyone. it is terrifying.

Sam: The Blackbird -he named it after the plane the x-men fly bc he is a Geek Bitch. -anyway sam is ALWAYS posting to his private story. every day there's five new videos of various hudmel shenanigans. he likes to record things just in case he has to leave again and he needs memories of his friends. -since he’s a sweetheart and doesn’t like people to feel left out, he’s got a fair amount of people on his private story. obviously the new directions and lauren (and matt! he met matt through mike and they hit it off), and some students from his old schools. he’s got some warblers, a chunk of the football team, some mckinley students, and lord tubbington. it’s a good time!

Puck: VIP ZONE -this idiot just likes everybody on his private story to know that they are SPECIAL and APPRECIATED if they’re there -he posts the most wack shit on his story bc he’s always getting up to something stupid so he keeps the amount of people on his private story low so he doesn’t get ratted out -so pretty much only the new directions are on it, plus matt and lauren and a couple of the more tolerable football guys. he has jake on his story too!!! (in my glee cinematic universe they met earlier and they’re bros) he also has jeff the warbler on his story for reasons known to no one, not even jeff and puck.

Rachel: 🌟Rachel Berry Exclusive🌟 -do i even need to explain this one. -rachel does NOT understand the concept of a private story. pretty much everybody who has her on snap is on her private story at this point. she does not give a shit she wants everyone to know what she’s up to all the time. this means that practically everyone she’s ever met is on there

Finn: cooler than puck's -this man is always competing against puck a lil i know it. puck thinks its hilarious. -not a lot of people on finn’s story! he’s got the usual suspects plus some football guys, and david warbler and wes warbler. they hang out sometimes!!! he thinks they’re fun dudes. he also has jake on his story bc he’s met him a couple times through puck and he seemed chill. also jesse st. james so finn can make him jealous bc he’s a little shit

Blaine: Sometimes Turnt -his story posts are usually very basic but when this man gets drunk he goes off the RAILS on his story it’s crazy -blaine’s another one whos got pretty much everyone he knows on his private story. all the usual suspects and all the warblers are on there. he doesn’t have jesse, lauren, or matt, but that’s bc he just. doesn’t know them. he’s got a couple people that he made friends with at mckinley on there too!! -cooper is NOT allowed on his private story. he is explicitly banned.

Tina: former goth bitches anonymous -’nuff said. -tina has the BEST stories. everyone wants to be on her private story - except for when she’s having a breakdown and keeps posting screenshots of sad songs on spotify. but the thing is she keeps her private story on LOCKDOWN. she’s got her new directions and lauren and matt, she’s got a couple haverbrook kids, some warblers, a goth guy she met at a hot topic, and sunshine!!! but NO ONE ELSE. everyone else is PROHIBITED. NO FUCKING ENTRY!

Mike: The Fuck -mike didn’t know what to name it :/ so he decided to name it after what he’s thinking every time he posts a video of his friends doing something stupid -everyone loves mike. everyone is on his story. thee whole mf gang. the new directions, lauren, matt, jesse, sunshine, the whole football team, all the cheerios, haverbrook kids, warblers, vocal adrenaline dancers, the works. he doesn’t know how they all wound up there considering he hardly ever posts, but he just keeps making friends with people and they’re like "hey you’re very sexy and hot. want to be on my private story" and of course he has to return the favour!!!

Artie: Artie's Priv -short and simple! -everything he posts is edited RIDICULOUSLY. like with stickers and filters and video edits, the works. everything. -he doesn’t have a lot of people on his private story mostly because he usually uses his public one, so he just doesn’t think to add people to his private story. but he’s got the new directions, he’s got lauren and matt, he’s got a few other mckinley students, and... that’s pretty much it. he just doesn’t think about it!

Quinn: Don't let my Catholic guilt see this -this one. i haven’t gotten to use it in a fic yet. but i will. its also fairly self explanatory -quinn is another gal who keeps this shit shut DOWN. almost nobody gets in bc a lot of her stories are just her RANTING about feminism or her life or SOMETHING that's pissing her off that she needs to vent about -she’s got the new directions, she’s got lauren and matt, she’s got some cheerios, and that is IT. nobody else gets to see this shit.

THIS WAS SO FUCKING FUN TO WRITE OUT OH MY GOD I AM SO PLEASED!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME THIS I HAVE NOT FELT THIS MUCH EUPHORIA IN A LONG TIME!!!!!

[sunmoonandsandsoundtracks]

dead girl walking

i figured i should start getting my stories from my old account here so i can delete that one. so, have a nice little surprise. it probably won't be that much of a surprise, especially if you followed me here from my old account and read it there.

this is the love child of my passions for naruto characters and broadway musicals. this one is heathers, so have fun being veronica sawyer.

this is before i was ready to really write smut and is therefore experimental as i was testing my limits. i think it's pretty damn hot, not gonna lie, but y'all can decide. i don't intend to turn this into a full smut and leave it as evidence of my growth, but let's be honest, i'm an easily swayed woman a lot of the time. if i'm worked up enough, then this is going to be poised and ready for me to vent that energy. we'll see what happens.

spotify/youtube seriously, listen to the song once. it sets the whole mood.

word count: 4180

content warnings: language?

enjoy!

You were doomed. Utterly helpless.

How did a night that started so great become such a massive shit storm?

Oh, right. You puked on the queen bitch... after calling her a pretentious, superficial cum dumpster that had reached her peak and would only deteriorate from there… in front of almost the entire senior class, particularly the boy she’d wanted between her legs for the last two or three years, at Kiba Inuzuka’s backyard party.

It felt good for that moment. Until you regurgitated the mix of different types of alcohol, edible weed, and pizza all over her five hundred dollar wedges. You didn’t feel an ounce of guilt as you straightened back up to see her with wide eyes, mouth agape. A smug smirk was all you gave her as you wiped your mouth off on the back of your hand, then put your back to her and headed inside the Inuzuka house. As you reached the door, the shrillest screech you’d ever heard reached your ears. You didn’t stick around to see any other reactions. You went inside, made a beeline for the bathroom, ignored the moans and panting coming from behind the white shower curtain with black puppy paw prints as you rinsed the nasty taste off your tongue with mouthwash, then got the hell out of dodge.

Twenty minutes later saw you walking home, with nothing but the rustle of the occasional leaf blowing by and the pounding of your shoes on the pavement to keep you company in the otherwise still night.

Life was an annoying hell before I got involved with those girls, but it’s going to be absolutely miserable now, you mused, crossing your arms over your chest for some warmth. You hadn’t dressed with the intent of walking home. You’d gotten a ride to the party, and you would have gotten a ride home, had the aforementioned incident not occurred. It almost didn’t, but you finally got sick of being party to the cruel tricks that the three most popular girls, known as the Kunoichi, liked to pull on your classmates. Particularly when they targeted a girl that was trying so hard to make a friend, but was too low on the social totem pole to associate with, unless you wanted to commit social suicide… Well, that’s what you did anyway.

Thirty hours until every bit of peace I worked for in those drab halls goes down the drain, and I have to beg to be homeschooled. I won’t even be able to enjoy the rest of my weekend. I feel like I’m heading toward the hangman’s noose. I could transfer schools if I had my own car, or motorbike like that one-

You stopped abruptly, scuffing the bottom of your shoe against the sidewalk, taking in the sight of a sleek red motorcycle in the driveway of a two story, gray stone house. You’d seen that motorcycle before. Just earlier that day, in fact. How did you know for sure that it was the same red motorcycle? The scratch and smudge on the body on the left side, over the back tire, from when its owner was being harassed earlier in the week.

Change of plans, you thought as your lips pulled back, revealing your teeth in a feral grin. You didn’t need to run away just yet.

You circled the house, stopping when you saw a dim light coming from a window on the second floor, right side. You tried to get a good look from the ground at who was in that room without being seen. It didn’t help.

“All right, take a risk and possibly get fucked from under tonight, or run like a coward and pathetically wait to get fucked over on Monday,” you muttered to yourself with a huff, staring up at the window. You considered it for a good five minutes before your desire literally drove you up a conveniently placed tree. Your body moved on its own as your mind went into chaos mode over what was without a doubt, in your opinion, the ballsiest thing you’d ever done.

“Please let it be him,” you chanted repeatedly under your breath as you slowly got to where you could peek in the dirty window. Your eyes zeroed in on the figure reading a book on the bed on the other side of the bedroom, and you were so relieved, you almost let go of the tree. Almost. Invigorated by the sight of your target, you clumsily climbed onto a branch that extended toward the window and crawled along it, scratching up your arms and feeling the scraping against your pants. Once you got close enough, you tapped on the glass, scaring the hell out of the room’s occupant. He couldn’t quite see you in the darkness, but he could tell someone was out there.

He seemed like such a fearless badass when you saw him out and about, but now, he was cautious, suspicious, as he approached the window. Wise, you figured, since he had no clue who you were, or what you wanted. He reached for something off to the side of the window with his left hand, before lifting it with his right.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” you greeted, nonchalant. “I’m surprised you’re still up. Hopped up on Mountain Dew or something?”

He relaxed and said your name in relief before looking at you, eyebrow cocked in question. “I don’t need it to stay up. What are you doing here?”

“I was just on my way home from the party, and I saw your bike in the driveway. I thought I’d come tell you the good news.”

“What good news? And wait, is your ride waiting for you?”

You pinched the tip of your tongue between your teeth to suppress a smile that you had no doubt would make you look like a dork, turning your head away. “I guess the answers to those questions kind of go hand in hand. I got a ride to the party with her royal majesty, as you saw when we ran into each other at the convenience store earlier, but she wasn’t so willing to give me one home after I told her where to stick her Louboutins and then promptly ruined them. Guess I’m not such a spineless jellyfish, huh?”

He chuckled, a low roll of his gravelly voice that sent a white hot sensation shooting right between your legs. “I never said you were, but well done.”

“You didn’t say it outright, but the subtext of our previous conversation led me to believe you at least thought it. Was I wrong?”

You played it cool, pretending to look at your nails, just for something to do. You wouldn’t let him see you sweat, wouldn’t let him know just how much his opinion affected you.

“I wouldn’t go trying to make a career as a mind reader, if I were you,” he quipped with a smirk. “I never thought that.”

“Then enlighten me,” you countered, giving up the pretense of being interested in your nails. A chill ran down your spine as a breeze went by, driving you to rub your arms again.

Concern flashed through his eyes, and he turned his head to the door to his room. It was firmly shut, as he usually kept it, but he wanted to make sure.

“Would you like to come in and get warm?” He offered, sounding somewhat hesitant, and suddenly, his whole persona seemed to change. The boy you knew from school that took down two other guys without flinching was nowhere to be found.

You weren’t sure how you felt. He invited you in, which was a step closer to your goal, but you were not planning on him being soft. It was fine that he wasn’t the total punk you thought he was. He had a harsh exterior for the outside world, but in his domain, he let his guard down. That was great, and it didn’t make you any less attracted to him, but you had built up the nerve to go after the guy you thought you’d taunt and tease into fucking you so hard into his mattress, you’d leave an impression. You weren’t prepared to deal with someone that you got a sense would begin blushing and stuttering if your bra strap showed. You’d have to retreat and regroup. At least this would distract you from your impending social murder.

“Um, no. It’s okay. I’ll just head home. Thanks, though.”

“Don’t be difficult. Come in and warm up, then I’ll take you home,” he insisted, the hard edge to his tone that you were familiar with coming out.

You bit your bottom lip as an idea came to you and started working your way back to the trunk of the tree.

“No, it’s fine.”

He said your name gruffly. “Just come in.”

“Make me,” you challenged.

“I’ll be at the bottom of that tree before you make it down. You think I won’t drag you in here?”

There it was, that side you were accustomed to, but it would probably go away if you went in, which was what you wanted to do… Or maybe you could keep pretending to resist while doing what you wanted.

“Fine. I’ll come in for a minute and warm up, but you’re not taking me home.”

You managed to get in through his window without falling and breaking your neck, or embarrassing yourself into an early grave.

His eyes were narrowed at you, and he didn’t look pleased. Perfect. “Why are you being a pain about this?”

“I just don’t want to trouble you,” you said innocently.

“It’s no trouble,” he insisted.

“Of course it is. You’d be leaving your warm bed.” Your eyes did a quick visual sweep of your surroundings, noting that he was very neat, before returning your gaze to him. “Sounds like the worst kind of trouble to me. Really, I’ll be just fine.”

“Not happening,” he nearly growled, sending a pleasurable shiver down your spine. Oh, you were going to have fun with this, if you could get him right where you wanted him.

“What are you going to do? Find some way to temporarily glue my ass to the seat of your bike?”

“If I have to. If I do, I’ll use the glue on your mouth as well..”

You gave him a haughty smirk. Just one more push ought to do it.

“You’re cute. Call me when you have a real threat.” You headed for the window. “Goodnight.”

You could practically hear the destruction of the last vestiges of his patience with you, even over the creak of the floor beneath your feet. It was glorious, even when you thought your arm might be ripped out of the socket as he fiercely pulled you back by your elbow.

“What will it take for you to get some reason in that thick head?” He snarled. Before tonight, that probably would have freaked you out at the very least. Now all it did was make it really hard not to rub your thighs together in excitement.

“Maybe you should teach me a lesson,” you said, thinking that you sounded pretty lame, but there was no going back. “Maybe I’ll learn then.”

Your bodies were pressed together, and you wondered if he was as aware of it as you were.

“What lesson?”

You gave yourself five seconds to formulate a witty response before saying to hell with it and pulling him in by the front of his long sleeved shirt, smashing your lips against his. You had no idea how he was going to react after his body came out of the total freeze it went into when your lips connected. You wondered if he'd ever been kissed before- you couldn’t be the only girl who wanted him enough to make a move- and thought that you wouldn’t be surprised if he shoved you away. You honestly congratulated yourself for getting as far as you had. You gave it your best, but the kiss went completely stale after almost ten seconds of no feedback from him, so you let go, stepped back, and gave him a blank stare.

Normally, you would have apologized, and you guessed that you should have, for forcing it on him and the microsecond of shock it caused, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. You’d wanted it too badly to truly feel sorry, even if the response wasn’t what you’d hoped for.

“I’ll see you Monday. I hope you enjoy watching me be socially crucified, I’m sure it will be quite a show,” you sighed. Once again, you made for the window, figuring that he wouldn’t bother stopping you this time. You might have startled him out of his harsher persona.

You were wrong.

As before, you were yanked back by your elbow, your shoulder crying out in protest, only to relax a little as he held you by your shoulders with your back to his chest.

“Where do you think you’re going?” It was a guttural sound right in your ear that made your knees quake, and drew a hoarse whisper from you.

“Holy fuck.”

There was nothing else to be said as he spun you around and slammed his mouth on yours, as you had done to him. It was demanding. It was sloppy-

It was hot.

His hand pulled at the little hairs at the nape of your neck, eliciting a low moan from your throat as he devoured you. Clearly, it was not inexperience that had stalled him. If it was, he was a fucking natural, because he wasn’t hesitating at all, and you were way too caught up in the way his tongue was exploring your largest orifice to care if his technique was lacking.

You realized you had almost frozen up, but in your defense, he was hitting you with a hell of a lot more than you had hit him.

There was just one problem. You came to be fucked, not dominated, so you needed to get your ass in gear. Right.

You pulled away enough to look him in the eyes, and damn it, you could have combusted, leaving nothing but scorch marks on the wood floor.

Keep it together, you scolded yourself as you tried to send the same molten gaze back at him. He smirked, and you knew you had the side of him you'd come for- and hopefully would be cumming for. When this was done, if he still wanted anything to do with you, you’d see about getting to know the other side you only got a peek at.

“Was your story about walking home from the party true, or was this your game all along?” He questioned.

“A little of both. I really was walking home from the party when I saw your bike, and I thought I’d take a chance. I’ve been thinking about it since I first saw you.”

“Is that so?” His smirk deepened.

“It is.” You pushed him toward his bed, surprising him a little. When the backs of his legs hit the edge of the mattress, you shoved him down. Oh, the sweet look on his face when he realized that you weren’t just going to let him have his way. You wish you had taken a picture. You kicked off your shoes and got on top of him, straddling his hips, then kissed him feverishly, making up for the lukewarm advance you had made.

“I’m always in control,” he said, interrupting you. He meant it as a warning. You took it as a challenge.

“Then this will be a new experience for you,” you purred. “If you’re good, I’ll give you a nice moan of your name. Would you like that?”

He glared, and it just made you clench your thighs tighter against his hips. You ran your tongue over your bottom lip and stared down at him with a wicked gleam in your eye.

“Where should I start?” You pondered, raking your eyes over his upper body. You weren’t even going to touch his bottom half beyond what you already were until you could get him to submit. You slipped a hand under his shirt, curious to find out what kind of shape he was in. He was definitely lean, but your touch detected taut muscles- was that a six pack?- and a firm chest.

“You feel nice,” you complimented him, noting the faintest blush on his cheeks. You flashed him a grin, which made your following command seem a lot less commanding. “Sit up.”

He complied as you backed up enough to allow him, but reluctance was written all over his face, at least until you grabbed the hem of his long sleeved shirt and pulled upward. His smirk returned as he allowed you to remove it and put it to the side, granting you a view of his semi-chiseled torso- confirming that yes, you had felt a six pack- and sending a pulse of need to your heat. Without warning, your mouth latched on the pulse point at the base of his throat, sending a vibration through it with a controlled moan that came from your chest.

The ensuing groan and buck of his hips dragged a not so controlled moan from you.

“My family is home,” he hissed.

“Then kick me out or keep it down,” you snapped back. “What will it be?”

“Why me?” He asked, and you saw that softer side of him for a second before he hid from you once more. “Just convenient? Did you leave the guys you wanted back at the party?”

The question put lust and hormone driven dominance on the back burner as you locked eyes with him, frowning. To be fair, he had a right to ask, and he had reasonable suspicion. The demand to know whether or not he was just a generic dick for you to get off on made you respect him more, which fueled your desire.

“I don’t want any of them. You’re new to town, so let me tell you that most of them, and that’s understating it, haven’t grown up since junior high. They’re boorish and brainless. You… You’re beautiful. I thought so the moment I first saw you.”

His bright eyes widened, and you noticed that he leaned back on his hands, putting him further away from you. Fine.

“I want to ride you until I break you,” you admitted shamelessly. “But I wasn’t thinking that when we were talking earlier tonight. I was enjoying our banter, your dry humor, your commentary on how society needs to change… All of that, with the help of some liquid courage and luck is why I’m here. Trust me, I wouldn’t have climbed a tree in these tight pants for convenience. I risked my neck and I didn’t even know for sure that it was your window before I did it. Good enough for you?”

Those eyes… They were as wide as they could go, almost enough to hide the bags underneath. He couldn’t have leaned further away. You just sighed. He obviously had never believed that anyone who may have confessed to him before was genuine. It was a crying shame.

“Are we doing this, or are you just going to hang me out to dry?” You gave a weak laugh, handed him his shirt, then leaned to one side, bringing the other leg over. It didn’t make it. You were stopped when a calloused hand caught you behind the knee and forcefully put it back where it was. Just as your eyes darted to a smug looking face, you were thrusted against hard.

“Fuck!” You gasped and immediately pressed back and rolled your hips, effectively wiping the smirk away. As he groaned through gritted teeth, you chuckled. “I guess this means I’m yours tonight?”

“No,” he growled. “It means you’re mine until further notice.”

“That works for me.”

Quick as a flash, you chopped at the inside of his elbows, making his arms buckle, and putting him flat on his back once again.

“Be good,” you chirped, then attacked his neck again. You brushed your lips up the column of his throat, then ran the tip of your tongue down it. It was a soft start, but you felt him already tensing beneath you. One hand was at the back of your head again, pulling any hair he could get a grip on, the other was at the base of your spine and moving down, over the curve of your ass. You tormented his neck only a minute longer before directing your attention to the area that wouldn’t be visible beneath the collar of his shirt.

His other hand grabbed your shirt as he tried to keep the noise you were thoroughly enjoying down. Breathy sighs occasionally replaced the muffled moans as you mercilessly created a necklace of love bites. Your name floated off his lips, leading to a serene smile from you.

“You’re doing very well,” you praised. You ceased decorating him with hickies for the moment. “I’ll let you pick a reward.”

And he was scowling again as he pushed himself up. Still, he was rather gentle as he started lifting the bottom of your shirt up. You complied, moved your arms to allow him to remove it, then raised yourself up on your knees. His eyes eagerly drank in the view of all the newly exposed flesh. His hands felt up your sides, your back, your stomach. Everything he could appreciate, he did, solidifying in your mind that you had made a really good choice. Especially when he dotted kisses around your navel.

You whispered his name, drawing his attention up to you. You sat back down on his legs and pressed your lips to his tenderly. He was so lost, it seemed. You couldn’t figure him out for the life of you. Oh well. All the more reason to spend time with him.

When you broke the kiss, he stared at you like you were the most complex puzzle. You struggled not to shy away from the intense way he studied you.

“Back to work,” you declared, knocking him back down. You resumed marking him from just above his chest, all the way down to the line of his hips. The lower you went, the deeper and more desperate the sounds became. You stopped at the elastic band at the top of his cotton pants. You weren’t sure he could take anymore than that, whether or not he’d say he could. The tent in his pants spoke enough for him.

“So very good,” you praised again. He was almost drooling as he looked back at you, eyes half closed. There was no way he’d ever had someone take control of him before. He wouldn’t be falling apart at the seams if he had. You placed your groin right over his, torturing both of you as they lightly pressed together, separated by a few layers of fabric.

“You ready?” You checked.

“I don’t have any protection on hand,” he sighed, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Do you have anything you could possibly pass to me? How recently have you been tested?”

He shook his head as his eyes averted from you and there was a dusting of pink over his cheeks. “I don’t need to be tested. I’ve never gone that far.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” you assured him. “I haven’t either, but I am on the pill.”

“You’re just naturally this forward? I would never have guessed.” He bore an amused smile.

You giggled. “I told the mythic bitch off. I’m ready to take on the world.”

“I would have paid to see that.”

“I’m sure someone recorded it. Now shut up. The only word I want to hear coming out of your mouth for the next little while is my name,” you commanded, your voice dropping to a sultry pitch, causing his eyes to enlarge a bit once again.

You maintained your position over him as the two of you got down to business, until-

“Gaara!” You moaned through the hand covering your mouth as you rocked against each other and he nailed that one spot. There, you fulfilled your promise and delivered his reward for behaving for you.

He didn’t need to be good anymore, and had you not said his name in such a needy way, he might have been content to let you keep up your little domination game. But you did. And you scratched his back so hard, he’d be feeling it for a week.

After you reached a much better high than any drug could give you, you were far too weak, his bed was far too comfy, and his arms were far too warm for you to leave.

How did a night that started so great become a massive shit storm? You didn’t give a flying fuck. You got everything you wanted by the time you fell asleep, your back to your boyfriend’s chest, and by god, it was beautiful.

[seizethesam]

Ode to an Angel-Chapter 1

Summary: You had been alone in this apocalyptic world since you got seperated from your old group and lost your brother. You were on your way to an old metal factory in the hopes of finding your former group when a herd of walkers dragged you in to the woods. You took refuge in a hut, where you met him. You have got a long road ahead and some reckoning to do.

A/N: Hey guys! the first chapter of my brand new Daryl series is finally here. I wrote for Sam Drake for a short period of time and took a looong hiatus. But it is finally time for reunion. I hope you will all enjoy it. Happy reading!!! xx seizethesam

Pearing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader

This chapter’s recommended song is “My Least Favorite Life from “True Detective” by Lera Lynn. 

Youtube   Spotify

---------------

"So he took his wings, and fled;

Then the morn blushed rosy red.

I dried my tears, and armed my fears

With ten thousand shields and spears. "

-William Blake

The forest was not acting on your behalf. Every tree you dodged was slowing you down, which was the last thing you wanted. The herd of dead was gaining on you, limping their ways towards your direction. You assumed that there were at least thirty of them —and let's be honest, you could not take all of them.

You were exhausted, the only thing you wanted the most right now was laying on a comfortable bed, eating whatever snack you would wish to have. But no... Those days were over a long time ago. Now the only things you had were starvation, exhaustion, loneliness, and a bunch of walking dead that were hungry for your soft flesh.

You had been trying to push your happy remembrances to the back of your memory for a long time now that you started to fear if you had forgotten them. Your mom, dad, brother—No, you would never- could never forget him. He had been your rock since the world went to shit, he had been doing everything in his power to keep you safe.

Now you were alone in god knows where. You were making your way towards the old metal factory outside the city where your former group could’ve settled when the herd came out of nowhere and led you into the woods.

You glanced back at the herd and saw that you have outrun them enough to catch your breath for a second. You stopped and leaned your back against a tree, trying to stabilize your fast-paced breathing. The loud growling of the herd was filling your ears and the smell of the rotten flesh was starting to water your eyes, making your vision blurry. For split second you close your eyes, take a deep breath to motivate yourself to continue running.

Growling sounds of the herd were exploding among the trees and meeting with your ears in a raucous matter. I need to move, now... The earth was rough under your feet despite your shoes. You could not remember how long you had been on the road like this; an excruciatingly uncomfortable backpack on your back, a gun around your thigh, and a knife attached to your belt… The blisters forming on the soles of your feet told you that it had been a long time, real long time. 

You began walking through the dark green trees. The Georgian sun was shining through the tree branches, falling on your skin to warm your flesh. Your legs were failing to carry the weight, and eyes were struggling to stay open due to the lack of energy. You didn’t even remember the last time your belly was full let alone remembering eating something decent. For the past few weeks, your menu consisted of energy bars and crappy canned food.

Today on your lunch was half a can of beans and two sips of water. The sun was getting closer to its horizon as reddish sun rays reflected upon the shiny green tree leaves, the scenery imitated a thousand sunsets all at once. Your heart leaps up at the beauty of the moment. There still are good things. That was what you wanted to believe. 

“There still are good things” you whispered to yourself, a faint smile appeared on your lips as you admired the view. 

While drinking the beauty of the wild, reckless nature, you spotted a brownish-black silhouette from the corner of your eye. When you turned your head towards the figure, you could not help the soft chuckle. It was a cottage. Without thinking twice, you made your way towards the small wooden building which looked like a single room shelter built for hunting trips. You stopped your tracks at the front of the tiny porch. There could be walkers inside, or maybe people.

You needed to be smart, careful, and needed to make most of your weapons; A 9mm with two bullets in its clip, and a hunting knife. You still did not trust yourself with the gun, but you could handle your knife just enough, enough to keep you alive this far. 

Slowly you approached to dusty stairs of the porch, carefully you stepped on the first stair. It did not squeak. You take two more steps for the other two stairs. When the last wooden step raised a surprisingly loud squeal, you heard a familiar snarl inside the old shed. 

Automatically your hand reached for the handle of your knife, taking it out of its holster. You raised the knife in front of you with a defensive pose and slowly made your way towards the tiny window near the door. The window was failing to serve its purpose as it was covered with dust and dirt, you could not see through it. If there was an unfriendly person inside, he could see you wiping the window. You crossed looking through the window off the list.

You leaned your back against the wooden wall, held your breath, and just listened to what was inside, but you didn’t hear anything other than the dead’s annoying snarl. After a few moments, deciding that there is only one biter inside, you reached for the doorknob. 

To your surprise the door was not locked, so you gladly stepped inside. Across the door was a sofa slightly covered with dust, and to your left was a small counter with two small cabinets behind it. The tiny area on the left resembled an unfunctional kitchen, but still, it was something. There behind the counter, a walker was standing, mindlessly trying to move but hitting against the wall.

When you entered the cabin, it turned its attention to your direction and took a few shambling steps towards you. Your knees were shaking, heart pounding against your ribcage. Being face to face with a walker in a tiny space as this cabin sent shivers down your spine. Just like he had taught me, no time to be scared. With that thought, you wrapped your hand around the biter's neck and pushed it against the wall as a contained gruff escaped your mouth, carefully maintaining it at arm's length. You forced the knife with your other hand to its dirty, glassy grey eye, and towards its brain. The moment that its brain had greeted your knife, the body fell on the ground with a thud, allowing you to let out a comforting sigh. 

Without wasting any time, you moved to the kitchenette hoping to find something to eat, but more importantly, water. Your half bottle water was not going to last any longer than a day, even though you were drinking no more than needed. 

You started with the drawers beneath the counter. In the first drawer were rusty scissors and four pieces of nail. The second drawer- empty. The third times the charm- empty. The fourth drawer, well the fourth drawer was bliss. There were two cans of mushroom soup, a can of cooked rice, and a whole bottle of water that will help you another two days. You persisted with the cabinets, but your luck did not. You only found a short black worn-out rope, you did not know how to use it, yet you took it anyway. 

You laid all your belongings on the counter deciding on an inventory check. All you had were five canned food including the new ones, two energy bars, a full bottle of water and your half-full bottle, a pack of tampons, rope, a flashlight, half a box of painkillers, one roll toilet paper, toothpaste and toothbrush, a detailed map of Georgia, a box of matches, a swiss knife, sterile compress, a hunting knife, a gun, and two bullets. If you did not return to the highway of anywhere near the city, you would not make it any more than three days in the woods. The city was dangerous but there was more chance of finding food and water. 

You put your stuff back to your backpack without wasting any more time. You locked the door of the cabin and dragged the body of the walker to another corner. The stench was not unbearable but still uncomfortable. You did not have any other choice other than keeping it here. Otherwise, there was a chance that someone with ill intentions could spot the body and assume that someone was inside the cabin. You could not take that chance. After securing the door, you slowly turn to the dirty sofa, its designs are no longer recognizable because of the dirt.

You lightly took one of the cushions and turn it over to reveal the clearer side. It had brown and red plaid patterns. You could not help but remember the similar ones from your family's house. It was just like the sofa that you and your older brother used to play card games. Your heart sinks at the thought and you turn the other cushion as well. 

When it was all done and well, you laid on the sofa letting out a deep sigh. Your feet hanged from the end of the sofa and instantaneously all the exhaustion of the past few days sat on your whole body like an ox as your eyes slowly gave in to sleep. 

"No! One more!" thirteen-year-old you shouted at the older brother. He had just returned from college for the summer break, "You think I'm cheating?" he said disapprovingly. 

"I know you're cheating," you said raising one brow at your brother. "You haven’t lost a game since we started." 

"That's 'cause I'm a pro. Don't be such a sore loser," he said mockingly. He got up from his seat and made his way towards his old room, while you were venting to your mother about the game. A few minutes later he exited the room with one hand hidden behind his back. 

" Whatcha got there? " You asked. He revealed his hand and swung a little red piece of rope. "Here, take this," he said giving you the piece. "For your luck," You took it from his hand and realize that it was a bracelet with a four-leaf clover in the middle. 

"Very funny," you said smiling at the older boy, "Help me with it." 

He grasped the tiny piece of rope and gently tied it to your wrist. You lifted your head to face him, he was much taller than you now. 

"So much for a cheater," you said with a grin. 

Throughout childhood, you and your brother were as close as a brother and a sister could be. But you had never known what your brother thought, what was going on his mind, his dreams. 

You abruptly opened your eyes to see a man towering you with his tall figure. He was wearing a sleeveless flannel shirt and dirty, ripped pants that seem a little big for his figure. His one foot was on the small coffee table and had a crossbow aimed at your face. Shit. His piercing stare was making the situation even more fearful for you. Your heart was pounding like a drum set in a rock concert when you raised your arms to level your head in a surrendering pose. He still did not speak but you spotted a change in his stance. He must've noticed that you were afraid as he hesitantly lowered his crossbow just an inch, his shoulders stiffened. 

"Look, um…I-I don't want any trouble," you say when the man maintained the silence. His eyes were fixed on yours; it was almost like he was trying to read your thoughts. "You can take whatever…" Silence. "I don't have much, but…" You were slowly sitting up. 

"Stay put!" he finally spoke. His voice sounded like more of a gruff, demanding but not a yell." Put your gun and knife on the table,” he said pointing at your gear.

"No-I'm j-" you refused to give your gears that have been keeping alive. 

"Ain't gonna ask again," his voice was dangerously low. It was then you realized that he had a southern accent.  

"Okay," you say with a voice no louder than a whisper, and reluctantly put the knife and the gun on the table. He took and tucked them in his belt after checking the clip. He completely lowered the crossbow and made his way towards the kitchenette with hurried steps. He quickly checked the cabinets before he moved towards the drawers, in which you had left three of your canned food. He stopped for a second, then continued. You could tell that he was filling his bag with your food. 

"The hell ya doin' here?" he asked you, still busy with the bag.

"What?" You don't understand why he was curious all of a sudden.

"Ya alone in tha' woods just with two bullets." he said disbelievingly.

" I was on the main road when a herd dragged me here," you said not knowing if it is safe to share your plans with a total stranger. "I was waiting for the herd to spread out." 

He let out a growl as a response, but you couldn’t really figure out it meant. 

"Do you know how I can go to the old metal factory,” You debated for a moment whether to ask him where the factory was. Your former group had always talked about moving somewhere outside the city where they could be away from the walkers and draw in more survivors.

"What's there?" he asked drawing his eyes from his bag to you. 

"I-I don't know," you genuinely did not know what to expect from the factory, but you were willing to give it shot. This was the least you can do for your brother. He moved away from the counter when he was finally finished and stopped on his tracks to get a good look at you. 

You hadn’t seen yourself for a long time, but you could guess how bad you looked; greasy hair to the tips, hollow cheeks, dark under eyes, skin covered with dirt and blood… 

"Ya ain't too far", he finally said and made his way to the little window. "About twenty miles south, down this way" he continued pointing his finger out the window. “Ya got a map?” he asked. 

You nodded as you slowly took out the map from your backpack, laying it on the table. He knelt down across you and began to examine the map. After a few seconds, he traced a route with his index finger. 

“Ya need to go over tha’ river, there should be a bridge,” he said. This man just had taken half your food and now he was helping you. You did not know why but you were not interested in questioning his kindliness. 

At this point you didn’t even know who to trust, this man could even lead you into a trap for that matter. But you knew that the factory would be somewhere near the area he was showing you. 

“Thank you,” you said turning your head to face him. 

He got up from his knees as he let out a humming sound as a response.

       --------------

“Ya gonna need more than just two bullets if ya gonna take tha’ route,” he said putting your gun and knife back on the table and left the cottage closing the door behind him.

 Chapter 2

Author’s Note: The first chapter is here you guys! I must admit that it is a little longer than I’ve planned but please bear with it. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. It feels so great to finally share something with you. Feedback is always appreciated. Please send me your opinions about the story. 

[purplesurveys]

891

Could you live without power for a week? I wouldn’t die, but it would really suck because then I’d have to watch out for my phone’s and laptop’s battery life, plus it would be incredibly uncomfortable without electric fans and aircons...I wouldn’t die, but I’d hate it. When was the last time you slept on the floor? The day before I got sick. End of May.  Have you regretted anything you said today? No. I haven’t talked to anyone; it’s only 7:59 in the morning. What do you think about airport security? I think it’s essential. I understand why they have to be rigid; better that than not at all. How many doors are in your house? I just answered this on a recent survey, how interesting lol. 13.

Do you keep a journal? This is it. What was the last thing you wished for? A tray of baked sushi. Do you pray? No. Do you like it when your date pays, or do you feel bad? I feel bad, but I’m also appreciative. I only let her pay when I’m short, or when I’m craving a certain restaurant but don’t have the budget for it that day. Most of the time we prefer splitting the bill. Do you spoil your friends? Just my girlfriend.  Are cramped places scary? Not for the most part but my anxiety will sometimes get triggered. But what happens and what sucks about it is that it gets set off at the most random times, so I never really know when I’m bound to get scared. Would you ever consider riding in a trunk? If it was a dare and I’d be paid handsomely for it then I don’t see why not. Does it irritate you when a fellow passenger brings lots of luggage? No. Their business shouldn’t bother me. Ever been leeched by a leech? Nope. Have you ever lied to make someone dislike you? Why would I actively make someone dislike me? Ever had a fear of mirrors? No, I find them fascinating. All four walls in the elevators of the hotel that my mom works in are mirrors, and they’re fun to take photos with haha. What song can you not stop listening to? Right now it’ssssss no song without you - HONNE. Do you take vitamins? Yeah we take vitamin C tablets every night, but sometimes I’ll forget. What's the longest you've stayed at a hotel? A week. Do you buy your music or download? I stream them on Spotify. I used to either buy CDs (usually if I was a big fan of the artist/band) or convert YouTube audio to MP4 to transfer it to my iTunes. Do any of your friends grow weed? No. Not that I know of, at least. Do you like arguing? I don’t like fighting, but if by arguing you mean having a respectful and civil debate then yes, those are fun. Does it bother you when people don't say goodbye before hanging up? It doesn’t really bother me? It just confuses me haha. I need a verbal cue to know when I can hang up. If the person on the line doesn’t say bye I’ll just linger on the phone waiting until it starts to feel awkward and I go initiate the bye instead. Have you ever owned an unlucky object? I don’t believe in those. Do you think voodoo works? No but it’s funny to think about sometimes, in a childish way. What habit do you find most disgusting? I really hate seeing people spit in public. Usually it’s truck drivers or their co-drivers. I always encounter at least one spitter while driving everyday, and it has never failed to make me shudder. Do you often feel ignored? It’s not a strong feeling, no. Can you read music? This is on every survey lately... no I can’t.

Are you optimistic? Sometimes. I think I’m a healthy balance of that and pessimism. Does it scare you to walk over sewer vents in the street? Yes. I always avoid them or skip over them, especially the ones that are already obviously unstable and wobble when someone steps on them. Is your lifestyle healthy or unhealthy? Unhealthy. I don’t watch what I eat and I’ve never entered a gym. But idk, the genes on my mom’s side are impressive and all of us have decent physiques and never get sick – my grandma is 74 but can honestly pass for 50 – so I must’ve taken after that side of the family. Is it easy for you to remember stuff? Yeah, very. Except for numbers. Last electronic object you drowned? That has never happened to any of my gadgets, fortunately. How well do you handle responsibility? Depends how comfortable I am with the task at hand and how much I already have on my plate, if ever. But I never not get anything done. I’m very deadline-driven and everyone who knows me knows I turn in everything asked of me at the end of the day, even if I don’t think I did well enough. Are you afraid of getting old? Sometimes I’ll start to get scared at how short life actually is and what can possibly happen after it, but these are fleeting thoughts. I like living in the present. What's something you wish you could start over? College. Just so I can do my freshman year the way I actually wanted it to go. Are you a loud person? In certain situations. I love being loud with my friends in a bar or when we’re at an amusement park, but I prefer that we don’t make a ruckus at the mall or at a restaurant. Do you believe in guns? No. I honestly don’t understand those who buy it for themselves when they can get other weapons if they’re really hell-bent on self-defense. But idk, I guess I’m speaking from a place (like, a literal place lol) where it’s extremely uncommon for ordinary people to get themselves guns. Are porcelain dolls attractive, or scary? Neither. I just find them a little unsettling, but not scary. Are you friends with someone because you feel bad for them? Not currently. But one time I did try to befriend someone who would be considered a loner, but I realized we had different personalities and interests so I stopped talking to her after a while. Oops. Do you like back rubs? No, I’m ticklish. Do you give good ones? No.

Which of your friends provides the most stimulating conversations? All of them do, to tell the truth. I guess I’m just automatically drawn to intelligent people haha. Do you wish to go to London? It’s not high up on my list but eh, sure. Have you ever felt like you were in a movie? No. I feel that movies are outlets for situations that would never happen in real life, so I’ve never felt as if I was in one. Do you drink enough water daily? I don’t drink the ~recommended~ amount but I still the drink the most in my family. Is burning things fun? I’d rather watch other people burn things. I’m scared of fire, so.

Do you like morbid things? Some. Can you sew? Nope. Have you ever just sat and read a dictionary? Oh my god yeah... after I watched Akeelah and the Bee for the first time I wanted to start joining spelling bees too, so I’d whip out my dictionary almost everyday and start reading the words. There were never any competitions to join here, but from 4th to 7th grade we would have spelling quizzes in our English language class and I aced all of those. Whose cooking do you most despise? No one’s. I love the cooking of all my loved ones. When you were little, did your parents make you sit in the corner? No but in school they made me do it once, for something that wasn’t my fault. My parents didn’t have any methods to discipline me because I was mostly a well-behaved kid anyway. Red roses, or black roses? Red. Do you blast your music concert-loud? I used to. Don’t really do it anymore. Do any of your exes bother you? Nope. Do you like taking pictures of yourself? Hell no. The camera has never been my friend. How about just taking pictures? I like taking photos of my dogs, my best friends, the food I eat, and new places I go to. So to an extent, I do. I don’t dabble in photography though; I just like taking snapshots.

Is cheaper really better? Sometimes, especially when you’re naturally good at hunting down that kind of stuff. My sister will sometimes find Zara jeans or jackets for like ₱80 at an ukay-ukay lol Last thing you ordered from Amazon? I’ve never ordered anything off of Amazon. Or do you prefer ebay? Never ordered from eBay either. Are you good at writing cards for people? I love writing letters for my loved ones. I never buy cards that already have text in them as I want the whole thing to come from me. Do you like camping? I’ve never tried it so I wouldn’t know. I want to go camping at least once though, and with my best friends. Last place you were stranded? The highway. Do you like dragonflies? Omg no they freak me outtt. How many pages is the novel you're currently reading? I’ve started to reread Little Women because I’m planning to watch the 2019 adaptation, but I’m not sure how many pages it has. What's something everybody's never heard of? The sound of a tree falling in the middle of the jungle that no person is currently in. Hahaha that was my philosophy professor’s favorite example to use. Are your talents recognized? I think they are, yes. Can you handle silence for long periods of time? Only if I need it. Otherwise it tends to make me uneasy. Do you do well against temptation? For the most part, yep. But if food is involved I usually fail lol

[a-ffection]

1-99 🐸

BET YOU THOUGHT I WOULDNT DO IT SCRUB. I tagged this #long post if yall dont want to see it btw sorry

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

According to Spotify Me its 1. Hail to the King - Avenged Sevenfold 2. The Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson 3. Holy Diver - Killswitch Engage 4. Sick Like Me - In This Moment 5. Girls in Black - Airbourne 6. Shrike - Hozier 

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

MY SOULMATE DAMMIT

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

ugh ”Now the bad news, im afraid, is that we won't be home for supper.”

4: What do you think about most?

Money

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Maybe not” - from you

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Without8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are cute; Boys are cute but at what cost?

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Yup

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Idk last week11: Do you have any strange phobias?

Public bathrooms and men with neck or face tattoos

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

When i was younger i used to stick straws up my nose

13: What’s your religion?

Roman Catholic

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking the thot

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind, I don't trust most ppl to take pics of me

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Uhhh Avenged Sevenfold probably

17: What was the last lie you told?

idr

18: Do you believe in karma?

Yup

19: What does your URL mean?

It’s pretty self-explanatory 

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Procrastination; Loyalty 

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Currently Henry Cavill 

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Its on my to-do list

23: How do you vent your anger?

Chores lol

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Mushroom decor, books

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

TEXT

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Happier yes

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Crowds; Nature

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

”what if i tried harder and passed this class the first time around?”

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES x2

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Cell phone; cookie

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothing really

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

LA

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

West Coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Hozier

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

To impact the world and/or its inhabitants in a positive way. 

36: Define Art.

Art makes you feel some typaway

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes, only because i have horrible luck

38: What’s the weather like right now?

drizzling

39: What time is it?

6:23pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and yes

41: What was the last book you read?

Sea of Strangers by Lang Leav

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Jaz, Jazzy, princess, noob (curtesy of my bro) 

44: What was the last film you saw?

Ready or Not

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Hairline fracture. Urban Air. Rock wall. Jumped off. Ouch.48: What’s your sexual orientation?

I like boys

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

lmao YES

50: Do you believe in magic?

I believe in portals to other dimensions does that count?

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yup

52: What is your astrological sign?

Leo

53: Do you save money or spend it?

Both

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

Starbucks

55: Love or lust?

Both

56: In a relationship?

No

57: How many relationships have you had?

idk

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No

59: Where were you yesterday?

Why do you want to know frog boy?

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Dogs collar

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

No

62: What’s your favourite animal?

Owls

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Be really nice and smiley to them but like in a low cut blouse66: What is your heritage?

Native North American. Mexican, Spaniard 

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Sleeping

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Morningstar

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

I-

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yess

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog, my boss is a cunt anyway.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

Uhg a) Yes b) Things ive always wanted to do c) Probably 

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Love, since it comes with trust anyway

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Hail to the King

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

6744

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Communication, trust, honesty, time, consideration, maturity, sexual attraction

77: How can I win your heart?

Have these traits: Beard, muscles, weeb, a sweetheart, sense of humor, be Catholic, have a decent career path, give me all the attention

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

yes

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

uhh

80: What size shoes do you wear?

9 in heels; 9.5 in shoes

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Something that will make goth kids take pictures on my grave

82: What is your favourite word?

Bastard

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

The Sacred Heart cause im catholic and hispanic

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

Bad words and insults

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Old Time Religion - Parker Millsap

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Teal, Green, Red, Black, and Pink

87: What is your current desktop picture?

A pretty forest

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Id save it for a rainy day

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

”Have you ever watched hentai?”

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Put collars on them and teach them tricks

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Healing - people, the land, etc.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

dunno

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Ive already did that according to the therapist i had

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Im saving myself for marriage 

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Ireland

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Yes

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Yes, when i was a kid

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes, to Cali

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Your governments will always consider your freedom a burden

[buggerup-busters]

rotten expectations - a Hangman’s Knot Playlist

Spotify Link 

Another Set of Issues - OK Go

Polarize - Twenty One Pilots

The Kids from Yesterday - My Chemical Romance

Impossible - James Arthur

What A Catch, Donnie - Fall Out Boy

Johnny Boy - Twenty One Pilots

Chasing Rubies - Hudson Taylor

Hallelujah - Panic! At The Disco

House Of Gold - Twenty One Pilots

Just A Thought - Hudson Taylor

This is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

Message Man - Twenty One Pilots

Oh Glory - Panic! At The Disco

The Run And Go - Twenty One Pilots

(Explanations under the cut)

Ok so these are all songs I like normally (hence the load of emo) and I mostly picked them for the lyrics, and tried to keep it to ones that make me think of the actual book. They’re pretty Will focused because obviously loads of the plot is him but also I just think about him on the daily anyway. I’m going to try explain what the songs make me think of and why I picked them:

Another Set of Issues -  It all seemed so perfect, it all seemed like everything was right / It all seemed so perfect, it all seemed so fine, until it was not / So keep your head down, keep your hands where I can see them / This will all be over soon, this will all be over soon

This song always makes me think of the sick feeling when you suddenly you’ve screwed up and probably should have seen it coming, and now all you can do is try ride it out, so this one is mostly Will in jail trying to figure out how it could have ended up like that.

Polarize -  I wanted to be a better brother, better son, / Wanted to be a better adversary to the evil I have done - and -  Polarize is taking your disguises, / Separating them, splitting them up from wrong and right,  / It's deciding where to die and deciding where to fight, / Deny, deny, denial 

So pretty obviously Will’s feelings about being a disappointment to his family and trying to think how he can change that, his always confident ‘disguise’, and also when he decides to stay and help Knotty and Eliza rather than escaping.

The Kids From Yesterday  -  This one’s more the general feeling of Knotty, Eliza and Will risking everything and all working together, all with their own fears about being a disappointment, and rebelling against authority trying to control their feelings (the whole thing of the Danger Days universe)

Impossible - okay this one is partly me having fun with a bit of melodrama, but ignore the romance bits and it’s basically ‘I was hurt and it’s my fault for being stupid and trusting you, so fine tell everyone I’m an idiot’ which is Will @ Flack for that whole scene.

What a Catch, Donnie - okay honestly this one was for ‘I got troubled thoughts and the self-esteem to match’ but I’m just realising it literally mentions ‘Miss Flack’ so this just has to go here anyway. But yeah I remember once my friend telling me the whole song was a promise to do better in the future and like thanks for everything so far, so it can fit overall.

Johnny Boy -  Get up, Johnny boy, get up, Johnny boy / Get up 'cause the world has left you lying on the ground / You're my pride and joy / Get up, Johnny boy, because we all need you now / We all need you now / I will carry all your names / And I will carry all your shame

This is kind of the second vents scene when Knotty’s reassuring Will, and kind of my thoughts of wanting to encouraging Will all the way through because I really want to see things turn out okay. 

Chasing Rubies -  This is not deja vu / I've never met somebody like you I'd like to tell you the truth / I hardly know you / And I don't want to let you go

I think I actually posted about this last night, but this song makes me think of Knotty thinking about Will ‘I’d like to tell you the truth’ !! and how much he risks for someone he doesn’t even know (like he says, not even just to avoid hanging him.) And like this is partly me being shippy but, him not really knowing why he likes Will so much, and ‘What if you don't like me / What if I'm being naive / Maybe it's love, sure I don't know’ is both him and Will fretting over how quickly feelings have come on. Also, I just really love Hudson Taylor. (The whole song also works for Mal&Wolfe)

Hallelujah -  ‘ No one wants you when you have no heart and / I'm sitting pretty in my brand new scars and / You'll never know if you don't ever try again’

That bit makes me think of Will feeling he’s too selfish/a bad person for anyone to want or like him, but Knotty and Eliza slowly convincing him to trust people again, and ‘I love the things you hate about yourself,’ being Knotty seeing the good in Will even when he can’t. The whole song always makes me think of understanding you’ve made a mistake but moving on and forgiving yourself.

House of Gold - Okay I don’t entirely understand this song but it’s here because I kinda think it’s about parental expectations of what to do with your life and wanting to do well by them, but also how things never work out as planned.

Just A Thought -  Get right out, get right out of my head / I dreamt that you'd come save me / You'd come help me when I needed a friend I dreamt that you'd come save me / And in the end we are free / When all the traces of trust are gone / And you never can explain when nothing is real

It’s Will’s trust in Flack being broken, and Knotty trying to save him.

This is Gospel - it says ‘insufferable bastards’ so it’s Will. Also the bits about ‘led away by imperfect imposters’ and ‘truth be told I never was yours, the fear, the fear of falling apart’ Otherwise, it’s mostly a vibe. 

Message Man -  A loser hides behind a mask of my disguise, / And who I am today is worse than other times, / You don't know what I've done, I'm wanted and on the run

Will’s feelings about himself and knowing he wasn’t doing the right thing, not feeling like he deserves the help Knotty and Eliza are giving.

Oh Glory -  Everything I promised everyone I'd be / Well I just ain't

Well what more do you need than that? But also the general feeling that something’s wrong, and doing what you know is dangerous/not right for glory, or in Will’s case his parent’s approval. 

The Run and Go -  I have killed a man and all I know / is I am on the run and go.

Actually @heylir pointed out this is a Will song on the Patreon Discord, so thanks for that :) So yeah, this one for me is Will being terrified and not really knowing how it’s gone this wrong, and struggling to keep up the unconcerned act around Knotty, and being really really glad he’s there.

[ascreamingstrawberry]

Friends

Summary: “He wasn’t happy, wasn’t sure if he felt any better, but at least his friends were here with him.” - Dee has a rough night, so his friends help him out. 

June 24th : Friendship, June 25th : Roceit, June 26th : Loceit, June 27th : DLAMP, June 28th : Patceit, June 29th : Anxceit, June 30th : FamILY

Pairings: None, like I swear they’re all platonic.

Word Count: 1,462

Warnings : sympathetic deceit!  mentions of gender/sexuality questioning, mentions of not eating, angst (lots of it). mentions of the band Bowling for Soup (yeah that one from Phinease + Ferb)

Notes : Ah this is a vent piece, whoops. Also suck at titles hep. If you find Good/Sympathetic Deceit triggering or you just don’t like it, don’t read. Leave a like, a reblog, message, and reply! I love hearing your comments.

It wasn’t uncommon to find Dee with his legs stretched out on the floor, back leaned up against to his desk, fighting the voice in his head that berated him. There was that little part of him that wanted to scream, wanted to tug at his hair, to kick his feet and demand that things go his way. He slipped his hands up in between the strands of his brown hair that he hadn’t washed today, resisting the urge to scratch at the clothes made his skin itch.

Dee didn’t want to care about what it meant to be a he, what it meant to feel wholeheartedly. Dee didn’t want to resist the twitch in his hands every time he watched one of his friends shower another in affection, celebrating each other’s uniqueness. Dee didn’t want to think about the difference of attraction to romance and romantic attraction, or the long list of broken hearts behind him that he tried to pass off as miscommunication. Or not finding the one yet.

He wanted to sleep, and never wake up. Stay in dreamland where things were either so fuzzy and hazy that he felt soft as cotton candy, or they were horrifying, the worst he’s ever felt. But at least he could clearly recall the fear embedded in every bone of his body, keeping him from speaking or moving. At least there he could feel.

Dee’s shoulders shook, twitching along with his stomach as he cried. The tears didn’t even run, damn things. They just stayed collected at the edges of his eyes, blurring his vision until he attempted to wipe them away with the back of a shaky hand. His mouth twisted up, and he turned a little to the left to avoid the stand up mirror facing him, he didn’t need more to feel bad at the moment. He wasn’t sure how long he had sat there, clutching the small stuffed snake that branded his university’s logo, until a knock interrupted him from his self pity.

It could have been an RA or anyone else, but of course it had to be Patton’s tenor voice coming through from the hallway. Dee imagined Patton had his head pressed against the wall next to his door, as he’s opened to the sight many times. Patton would usually be humming something, the energy in him buzzing through his veins causing him to bounce with almost every part of his body. He was taller than most, the tallest of their friends at least, and his limbs just stretched so far that he was kind of everywhere at once.

And Dee didn’t even consider that he would’ve had people with him, he was up and opening the door before his brain could catch up with him. His eyes registered that the other three were standing behind him, but all Dee could see was that damn blue polo of his being as short as Dee is, and next thing he knew his eyes were squeezed close and arms were being wrapped around him.

He was pushed further into his room, it suddenly felt smaller than any other room they’ve all been in together. Logistically that was because he was in a single, and they were in a kitchen suite with two double rooms and an empty, so his was smaller. But as he wrapped his arms around Patton’s waist, he wanted to be closer. He wanted just a little of the warmth or the joy that the older man radiated to transfer to him. Dee felt a hand slip between them, brushing away the hair falling over his eyes and collecting a bunch of tears with his thumb, a soft, sibling-like kiss pressed to the top of his hair. The move was comfortable, and he almost felt bad for pressing his cheek against the hand like until he heard Roman’s deep bass laugh a little wetly.

Dee lifted his head from Patton’s chest, tried to pull away in an attempt to gain some dignity back in a group where he never had any to begin with, when lanky arms wrapped his shoulders pulling him into another hug. A hand patted his back, and Logan stepped away, and Virgil’s hug was as soft as quick as it was rare.

“You wanna talk?” Patton asked, his voice low and quiet and fuck, Dee felt like a child the way he shook his head no in response, and practically made grabby paws at him. Patton smiled though, pulled him into a hug anyway as things moved around them.

By the time Dee pulled away, Roman was putting a handful of candy wrappers in the trash bin as he hummed along to an old Bowling for Soup song that Virgil had started playing from Dee’s open laptop. If Dee had the energy, he would reach over and close the email tab that was still open, the start of tonight’s breakdown, but he didn’t so it was left staring him down from across the room. A battle with his past, a reminder of the people he’s hurt, of how he’s evil, doesn’t deserve-

Virgil closed the tab. Didn’t just minimize it, apparently not caring at all what was on it as he pressed the little red x, but definitely noticing the way Dee’s eyes blinked back at him when it was gone. And now that he had his attention-“When’s the last time you ate anything besides those?”

Dee forced a smile passed his lips, wiped at his face, turned away from them, anything to not appear as weak and pathetic as he felt mumbling “Maybe Monday?”

“It’s Thursday.” Logan replied, there was a stiffness to his voice, and Dee bit his lip. They were mad, god he couldn’t even do so much as eat, and-laugh. Just laugh it off. Dee shrugged, smiling even though it kind of hurt, and mumbled an apology. “We should go get some real food in you then.”

Dee’s stomach wasn’t grumbling, it wasn’t like he was fighting against hunger of any kind, he just wasn’t hungry. So he just made a nonchalant noise, climbed over to use the step stool for his bed, being as he was shorter than most who kept their beds on the top notch, and wondered if they’d leave. “I can take care of myself, I know I act like it, but I’m not a baby.”

“No one called you a baby.” Roman replied, leaning against the closet door as a soft ukulele song played. Probably one of his additions, Dee thought to himself, the fact that the group tended to use his account since he was the only one with Spotify premium made him feel a little more integral.

Virgil sat in the chair by his desk, Pat joined Dee on the bed, and Logan leaned on his arm laid out next to the tv on his dresser. Roman bent down next to him, picking up a familiar flash of green and waving. “Childhood stuffed animal?”

“No.” Dee held his hands out and Roman tossed it his way, everyone kind of watching the way the shortest of them clutched the snake to his chest, pushing his face into it.

“I gave it to him.” Pat leaned over, nearly falling on top of Dee completely as he attempted to knock shoulders with him. Dee made a noise of agreement, soon enough the room would be filled with laughter and fond memories of middle school dance hits, but for now a smile came easy. He wasn’t happy, wasn’t sure if he felt any better, but at least his friends were here with him. 

The memory casted a ghost of a smile on Dee’s face as he pressed the face of the familiar stuffed snake into his tear filled face months later. He was cornered around buckets of his university stuff in the living room of his family’s one floored apartment. One of his sisters were sleepily loudly on the couch next to him as he scrolled through the photos from the previous semester hoping it would make him feel a little better. It didn’t. All it did was remind him that there would be more nights ahead like this. Trying to muffle his cries as his emotionally exhausted brain fought sleep for just one more hours as the same dreams that had comforted the desolate student, now only teased and terrorized him. It reminded him how empty the suite would feel with Patton no longer attending the school, Roman transferring in December, Virgil ignoring him, and Logan furious with him since he’d gone risked his health by forgetting to eat again. Yeah, the memory may have soothed him for a moment, but now all it did was make him miss them even more.

[scottidols]

14, 15 Ur dumb

What? 1-60? Omg, thank you so much for doing this completely unprovoked!1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.I don’t have iTunes so here’s from my Spotify:Fall Out Boy - Save Rock And RollWATERS - Ones You Had BeforeOf Monsters and Men - Love Love LoveMKTO - Just Imagine ItMarianas Trench - Truth Or DareHamilton - Cabinet Battle #22) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Uuhh Jeff Probst? To get the survivor gig going3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.It dropped the quiver on the altar.4) What do you think about most?Reality TV and Love. 5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?Not really, but kind of! A good fried commissioned to have a song written about our group and my name was in it! 6) Do you have any strange phobias?I don’t like eating/drinking after people, and I absolutely fucking hate armadillos.7) What’s your religion?Christianity, Non-denominational8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Internally complaining about being outside9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?AJR10) What was the last lie you told?I don’t remember, but it’s almost definitely something D&D related 11) Do you believe in karma?Eh. Kinda? Not like... “Karma” per se, but something along the lines for sure.12) What does your URL mean?I go by Scott, and “Idols” is just because I love Survivor.13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?Laziness; Luck?14) Who is your celebrity crush?Uuhhh god, Tom Holland?15) How do you vent your anger?Writing16) Do you have a collection of anything?Half filled notebooks I guess?17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?I’m working on it! :)18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?Oh, when I’d play that mancala game and the marbles would scratch that one way? Hate that. I love the sound of boys laughing- I know I’m super gay. 19) What’s your biggest “what if”?The only What if’s I have are self deprecating so I tend to ignore them- nothing but eyes on the future.20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Ehhhh... not really. I mean, anything’s possible, so I can’t rule them out, but if I go my entire life without ever seeing any sign of either of those things I won’t be surprised.21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.So despite other answers I’m actually outside right now, so... tree, and air.22) Smell the air. What do you smell?Dogs. 23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?Oh! I got a sad one, so when I was like 3 or whatever my mom was deemed unfit to take care of me since she didn’t own a house and was just taking me from trailer to trailer before she’d get kicked out by a friend for her intense drinking and smoking. Anyways I was taken to a child services place that was really horrific as it was just like 50 children all crying because they miss their families and they didn’t have enough beds for all of us so I slept on the ground. 24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?Female singers? Zendaya is absolutely stunning. Demi Lovato and Ariana Grande too. Tbh all women are beautiful wtf is this question. 25) To you, what is the meaning of life?Just, do what makes you happy, and don’t be a dick to those around you.26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Nope!27) What was the last movie you saw?I think it was The Greatest Showman (again). 28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Nothing major really. One time I sprained my wrist when I was in like, 3rd grade?29) Do you have any obsessions right now?Always obsessed with Survivor and URealms, but I’ve also been rewatching Gravity Falls30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?Idk! Maybe!31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Nope. I always try to find forgiveness. I can’t deal with being angry, it just makes me feel gross.32) What is your astrological sign?Leo!33) What’s the last thing you purchased?A large pizza and some stick-shaped foods!34) Love or lust?Love35) In a relationship?Yes!36) How many relationships have you had?Two37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?Charisma, and being able to love both yourself and those around you.38) Where is your best friend?Florida!39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Sleeping, the fuck?40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?Probably not dksksksksks41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?JOKES ON YOU! I work at a dog-place where we look after dogs and take care of them, soooooo, win-win!42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?A) I’m fucking telling everyone. Putting this shit up on YouTube. Let’s get it viral. B) Well if the video blows up use my new found fame to spread love and acceptance, if not I guess I’m blowing my money on traveling. C) Hard to say. I want to say no, though.43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?Set It Off - Upside Down44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Communication, Mutual Respect, Love.45) How can I win your heart?Be kind and courteous, and then also buy me a bunch of things for quicker results46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?I mean, I’m not gonna SUPPORT insanity.47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Getting super addicted to gameshows has honestly kinda opened a lot of doors for me and what’s allowed me to get to know a lot of great people.48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?Whatever tbh, Imma be dead either way. 49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”Love.50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?Gold...?51) What is your current desktop picture?Just a basic preset one from Microsoft.52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?No, definitely not.53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?I... don’t know? I’m faaaiiiirly open? Ask me anything!54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Unrealistic, would never eat vegetables. But for the super power part, I always thought teleportation would be the best- travel costs? Irrelevant. Never late to anywhere ever again. 55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?I don’t... want to say the no cut run. But... the no cut run.56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?No thanks, I’ll keep ‘em.57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?/MUSIC/ Celebrity? God I don’t know, fucking, Brendan Urie? Is he gay? Idk.58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?Uuhh California?59) Ever been on a plane?Yes, the first time was just earlier this year!60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Nyle DiMarco is the hottest person to ever live. Tom Holland, John Boyega, Lucky Blue Smith and Zach Miko are all hot too.

[softspideys]

You’re super upset and stressed out. What does Peter do

hi, I’m sorry this is so late!!! I was in the car and had no wifi. ANYWAY:

you don’t tell peter when you’re feeling sad or stressed

he’s already got enough on his plate with spider-man and school etc etc etc and you don’t want him to worry about you

but you forget that peter is actually pretty observant

and even though you can fool everyone else into thinking you’re fine, he notices right away that something’s off

he knows something is wrong and he knows you’re purposely not telling him

so he shows up at your house after school with your favorite snacks and a spotify playlist full of your favorite songs and one of his hoodies that you love wearing because they’re soft and they smell like him

and he puts the sweatshirt on you and like sits you between his legs so your back is against his chest and he hugs you close to him and just lets you cry or vent or even just snuggle in silence, whatever it takes to make you feel better

he is also definitely a big fan of massages

when you’re studying for a test you tend to get tense and it shows in your shoulders

he comes up behind you and massages your shoulders and brushes your hair away from your face and is like “babe come on take a break and come cuddle with me”

(he’s not THAT great at massages but it’s the thought that counts)

if you’re REALLY stressed he’ll quiz you or look over your work for you

but he mostly just hypes you up and tells you how smart you are and how amazing you’re gonna do

basically he’s just the most caring and supportive boyfriend in the world

[love-hemi]

1-50

I cannot believe u would ask me everything lmao here we go

1: How old are you? 192: When’s your birthday? May 223: Do you have any strange phobias? Uh I get extremely uncomfortable at The Container Store as bullshit as that sounds?? That and I hate anything that could be considered even mild eye horror4: What’s the last text you sent? Thanks for the invite tho5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? Yes6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Depends on the night! If it’s hot then no clothes, if it’s cold I bundle tf up7: Do you have any strange phobias? I just realized this is the exact same question as 3 lmao8: Put your Spotify on shuffle. What’s the first 6 songs that pop up? I’m using Google Play bc they own my soul but uh I’m shuffling my thumbs up playlist:

1) Location by Khalid

2) Lamborghini Angels by Lupe Fiasco

3) Buy U A Drank by T-Pain

4) The Way I Are by Timbaland

5) My Love by Justin Timberlake

6) Do It Myself by Russ

9: What was the last lie you told? The text I mentioned earlier was me denying a trip to get ice cream but I really wanted some, I just didn’t wanna spend money. But I bought a cookie like 2 hours ago so uh I spent money anyway oops10: What does your URL mean? It’s the name of the KLK episode that Nui first appears in! I also just really like the defiant and feminine nature of the phrase11: Who is your celebrity crush? I’m not too big on celebrities so I don’t have one12: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Nope13: How do you vent your anger? If I’m angry but not personally hurt I’ll usually tell others about the drama and just shoot the shit, but if I’m upset about the way someone treated me personally I’ll angry cry for like 2 seconds and then sad cry for way longer14: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? Kinda? I’m happy about some things and unhappy about others15: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. My phone / Popplio plush16: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Alex Turner I guess? He’s really pretty and it makes me angry17: What’s the weather like right now? Pretty hot, but not as scorching as it’s been recently so it feels nice. Skies have been pretty clear too18: What time is it? 11:58 rn19: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I love to drive! I’ve never been the driver in a car crash, but I’ve been a passenger in one20: Do you like the smell of gasoline? No lie I could smell gasoline all day like I’d probably die but it’d be worth21: Do you have any nicknames? I have like joke nicknames but not anything that people actually call me22: What was the last film you saw? The last one I remember seeing is Baby Driver but I’ve probably watched something else since then23: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? I’ve never had any serious injuries, only illnesses24: Do you have any obsessions right now? Danganronpa is the constant obsession especially Hinata and Saihara hoo boy25: What’s your sexual orientation? Like 98% hetero, 2% not hetero26: What is your usual bedtime? bwuhhh it varies but I like to be asleep by 12, that’s not happening tonight though lmao27: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Absolutely. I have lots of mixed feelings though bc most of the people who have done me wrong have been quite close to me at some point28: What is your astrological sign? Gemini29: Do you save money or spend it? Spend unfortunately30: Can you do a split? Nope31: In a relationship? HELL YEAH I AM32: How many relationships have you had? Two33: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope34: Where were you yesterday? School and Chili’s35: Do you have a best friend? Yup!36: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Skyping with you? Or getting Skype set up so we could call37: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yeah I think I’d be a pretty cool friend38: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Come to Me by Koop39: What size shoes do you wear? Ladies 740: How tall are you? 5′2.5″ I think41: What is your favourite word? There are too many to pick just one!42: What’s the last song you listened to? Fancy by Drake43: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? Black, red, pink, & gold44: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Can’t think of any honestly45: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Probably somewhere that I have friends, like New York. I’d be too nervous to go somewhere by myself46: Do you have any piercings/tattoos? And do you want any? I just have regular earring piercings, but I’d like to one day get a tattoo! I just don’t know of what47: How many languages do you speak? One48: How many countries have you been to? Two49: Which swear word do you use the most? Bitch and fuck are nearly always used in the same sentence50: Gon or Killua? Killua sweet dangerous baby boy 

Thank you for the ask ily!!!!