#tori writes sanders sides

[ascreamingstrawberry]

Love Without A Conscience

Summary: Patton, for the first time in his very short life, has decided to take what he wanted. Between this odd little boy and constantly flirting parents, he realizes, maybe he's finally gotten all he wanted. A family. But it doesn't end there.

Chapter Summary : Patton meets a very strange boy by the name of James

Pairings: romantic Logince, future romantic Moxiety, 

Word Count: 1688

Warnings : sympathetic deceit! deceit as a little child he’s so cute, remy, he’s a baby and probably won’t say much but is still mentioned, foster care, mentions of lying

Notes : Leave a like, a reblog, message, and reply! I love hearing your comments.

Contrary to popular opinion, Patton absolutely hated open house days. He didn’t mind the fact that the other kids played with him to make themselves appear friendly. He didn’t mind the plastered smile on his face as couples observed him for a few moments, only to pass him by without a second thought, like a duck in a zoo. And he didn’t mind watching a roommate or another child at the orphanage happily skip into the adoption room, ready to go to a forever home. That wasn’t his problem with open house days.

His problem was that most times things didn’t work like that. Children would ignore him anyways, no matter how friendly he tried to be. The smile would fall from his face each time a couple passed him and he’d only barely just managed it back on when another came by and made it drop again. And every open house night Patton spent cradling the younger ones, reassuring them they’d get adopted one of these days, even though there were kids like himself still here years later who’d all but given up hope.

Yeah, he definitely hated open house days.

And to make it worse he never knew when they were.The three or four social workers would come that morning, standing around in the kitchen chatting while the children were usually bubbling with excitement, or in some cases, fighting off a panic attack. Patton tended not to fit in either category. He was almost twelve now, having been in the orphanage for nearly four years, and it was the age that kids tended to get stuck here. He was long since hopeful for a pair of parents to pluck him out of this place, he just hoped some of the little ones got to go. They needed it most.

He almost wished he could stay inside, curled up on his bed listening to the soft hums from the girl on the other side of the wall Patton’s bed was up against. He’d never bothered to learn her name, then again since most other kids avoided him, she’d never bothered to learn his either. But, he couldn’t. Mrs. Alvarado was standing in the doorway watching all of the children get ready, commenting on different things they did wrong or had forgotten, Patton having already been chastised four times.

Mr. and Mrs. Alvarado ran the orphanage, and on the outside they looked like a warm, happy couple. Mr. Alvarado was a little taller than average, fairly skinny except for a bit of a gut, whereas Mrs. Alvarado was barely five foot, and a little stout. At the current moment, Mr. Alvarado was downstairs with the social workers, and Patton figured it was for the best. The other side of Patton’s and the older boys room shared a wall with the Alvarados bedroom, and based on the fight they had last night, this morning was not going to be a happy one.

Patton and his roommates were the last to descend the stairs tucked away in the left corner of the house, they were the oldest group of children. The one bedroom that was on the second floor with them was a girl’s bedroom, with kids just a year or two younger than Patton. The four bedrooms on the first floor were three bedrooms full of younger orphans, and an empty bedroom that had been for the Alvarado’s daughter. Patton had gotten to meet her his first summer here, the summer before she left for college. She hasn’t returned. After descending the stairs to join with the rest of the children of the house, twenty children including Patton, they were dismissed and allowed to head outside. Prospective parents should be arriving soon.  

“Good morning, Patton.” Mr. Jonathan, Patton’s social worker, smiled as Patton tried to rush past to gain his favorite spot. Patton knew well enough at this point that Jonathan was the man’s first name, but at this point as long as Mr. Jonathan was fine with Patton calling him Mr. Jonathan, Patton didn’t have any mind to change now. “Excited for today?”

“Not really.” Patton shrugged. Mr. Jonathan reached over and tossed Patton an apple, and Patton was able to pull the tiniest smile onto his face as he bit into it. Empire. His favorite.

“If not, we’ve already got a new group home picked out for you, dear.” Mrs. Alvarado said, coming up behind Patton to place her uncomfortably warm hands on his shoulders. He tensed at the touch, wondering what he’d done wrong, and the politely hidden scowl on Mr. Jonathan's face didn’t make him feel any better.

“Well, let’s just keep our chins up for today, eh? You never know.” Mr. Jonathan was a nice enough man. He had a son, Julian, that he talked about far too much and a wife that he seemed to be constantly trying to please, but that’s just cause Patton spent a lot of time with him. “Why don’t you go see if you can catch some of the early ones?”

Patton nodded, faking the vigor he used to quickly run towards the door. He happened to be in his favorite blue polo, with his sweater wrapped around his shoulders, just in case the weather called for it. It was spring, or it was supposed to be now toward the end of April, but the cold weather still lingered come afternoon. Not that Patton minded, he preferred the cold. More sweaters. He adjusted his glasses when the sun rays hit them at just the right angle to cause a glare, and set out toward his favorite spot, underneath the tree in the front lawn.

He saw every couple that came through, and unless they were particularly interested in the prepubescent reading Winnie the Pooh, the only book he had saved enough loose coins for, then they’d leave him alone. He was also able to see them go, a happy child usually following them. Patton kept his head in his book, which he’d gotten used to doing the last few open house days, only looking up at the sound of a voice near his head.

“Winnie the Pooh. Classic.” The man’s voice kind of deep, he had combed back brown hair and dark brown eyes, and was in a red button up and jeans. Parton looked at him he was holding his hand out for a high five. Patton smiled, high fived him, and almost felt kind of sad when he stood up and walked away.

He wasn’t sure how long it had been since that, but this time the voice that interrupted him was younger and higher, child-like. “Mind if I sit here?”

Patton looked up to see a child a little younger than him standing with both of his hands stuffed into the front pocket of his jeans. He looked kind of sheepish, and his arms blocked most of the view of his yellow sweater with the black button up underneath sticking out of the top. His hair was a light brown, his eyes kind of a hazel color, and his mouth was furrowed into a thin line. And who could miss the half of his face being seriously distorted.

“Sure.” Patton shrugged, reaching his hand down to pat the grass next to him. His hand got a little dirt on it, but Patton just wiped it on his khakis. They were an old pair anyway.

“Thanks.” The kid sat down criss cross applesauce, scooting a little closer to Patton as he leaned over to see what he was reading. “Ah, nice my Dad loves that book.”

“So your parents are adopting?” Patton asked, trying not to seem to inquisitive. The kid didn’t seem to mind, in fact he didn’t look like he was even paying Patton any mind as he ran his hand back and forth over the blades of grass.

“Yeah.” The kid shrugged, and then turned to Patton. “I hope you don’t mind me sitting with you, I just didn’t want to sit alone and I don’t want to scare off any of the kids my dads are looking at.”

“Why would you scare them off?” Patton set his book down, not bothering to fold the page that’s been folded eighty times over probably.

“This-” The kid gestured to the side of his face that was distorted. “kinda makes other kids uncomfortable.”

“You haven’t made me uncomfortable, you’re probably just around the wrong kids.” Patton said, quickly biting his lip, it was probably the wrong thing to say, he was judging the kids judge of character-“I think you’re quite nice, actually.”

“Thanks-” The kid’s sentence dropped off, and he made a little circle with his hand before doing a ‘gimme’ motion.

“Oh, Patton.” Patton smiled, reaching up to knock himself in the head. “Sorry, I can be kind of stupid sometimes.”

“Falsehood.” The kid said, holding his hand now over the middle of his chest, like he was declaring something before shrugging and losing the attitude completely. “Sorry, it’s something my Papa says when we have to point out a lie. I lie a lot, I’m James.”

“Nice to meet you James.” Patton’s smile dropped, and he looked down to pick at one of the blades of grass in front of him. “And it wasn’t a lie, the other kids call me it all of the time.”

“You’re probably just around the wrong kids then.” James repeated his words back at him. “You don’t seem stupid at all.”

“How do I know that’s not a lie?” Patton asked, he meant it to be playful or teasing, but he could see the boy’s smile turned sour. Patton frowned, opening his mouth to apologize but James beat him to the punch.

“You have no reason to believe me, even after I’ve said I lie a lot.” James lifted his head, giving Patton another look at the folded and scarred skin around the side of his face, and yet the almost twelve year old found his gaze drifting to James’ cool gray eyes. They looked, hopeful? “I just don’t think you’re stupid.”

“Thanks.” Patton blushed.

[cozysafechaotic]

Okay

So, I wrote this fic back in February, and I don’t think LJ’s taglist existed back then.... and if it did, I was definitely not confident enough to use it... but... I’m proud of this... and I want others to read it. So, without further waffling... Here is Hot Chocolate, Disney Movies and Blanket Forts. (Click the title to be taken to Ao3)

Today had been a bad day. This week had been rotten. It was barely a month into the new year, and Virgil was already done. Everything seemed so stressful and he was exhausted. When things got this way, there was only one tried and true option in Virgil's mind: Withdraw. Just close yourself off, let everything pass you by and eventually drag yourself from the swirling pit of anxiety after a good straw that breaks the camel's back meltdown. He hated the chaos of the aftermath, but he just didn't see how he could cope with all the overwhelming emotions on his own any other way.

It used to be easier, before he opened up to the other sides, to just disappear until the flood waters receded or the dam broke, but now that they'd accepted him, they also noticed him. Logan kept track of his sleeping and eating, reading the signs of the coming storm like a skilled meteorologist reads the barometric pressure. Patton, precious Papa Patton, could practically tell how he was feeling based on how many times he smirked in a day. Even Roman could tell when the darker side was feeling bad, pulling back on the banter when the barbs became less playful and more direct. He sighed and pulled his hood up over his unruly mop of hair, shaking his sleeves down over his hands as he trudged up the stairs to his room. Sometimes he wished he had never opened up to the other sides, life had been so much easier on his own.

He pulled up short, gripping the handle to his room. No, no he didn't. Things may have been easier, but they were lonelier. Maybe they got on his nerves, but they at least cared enough to be paying attention to him. They treated him like family, and it was the most precious thing to him. He sighed again, dropping his head back to stare at the ceiling. He knew what he had to do, it would be awkward and uncomfortable, but it would be far better than curling into himself on his bed and wallowing in his mind.

Letting go of the doorknob, he turned around and stepped across the hall, raised his fist, and knocked on Patton's door. There was the sound of a loud thump and Virgil's eyes shot wide. Some shuffling and scrambling was heard, along with a muffled "coming". Seconds later the door opened to a very disheveled Patton, his cardigan twisted, his glasses askew and his hair was sticking up at quite the angle. "Oh hey there kiddo! What can I do for you?" He cheerfully asked, leaning against the door frame and pulling the door close to his body to block out the rest of the room.

"Um, I just wanted to talk, but you're probably busy. Wasn't important. sorrynevermind" He stammered out, turning to cross the hall when Patton's hand fell onto his shoulder.

"Virgil, it's fine. I'm not busy." He pushed his door open to reveal a trail of blankets off his bed and towards the door. "I was just burritoed up and nappin' when ya came a knockin'" He turned with a smile and scooped up the mass of blankets, throwing them onto the bed where a mountain of pillows and other blankets lay. "So, on a scale of standing to snuggled in a blanket fort, what kind of conversation are we having?"

Virgil shook his head, unruly fringe falling into his eyes as a soft, broken chuckle escaped his lips. "Probably blanket fort. I think I'm having a Code Fuchsia Patton." Patton nodded his head gravely and began to arrange pillows, blankets and stuffed animals on his bed. Virgil smiled to himself. Patton had come up with the colored system as a way for the sides to communicate their mental state without having to find the words. At first, they'd thought to merely humor him, but when Roman had used it to let them know he was feeling underwhelmed and then a few weeks later, Logan had used it to let them know he'd needed a break, they'd all begun to give Patton the credit he and his system deserved. It had already helped to avert the crisis that came from not catching a breakdown before it happened. It was a clever system, working like a mood ring and a stop light all in one. The basic green for good, yellow for feeling meh, and red for a meltdown. Extra shades like lime for in between, or orange for when you were halfway to red, and colors like fuchsia and scarlet for when you were far closer to the edge than you wanted to be.

Patton quickly finished arranging his mound of warmth and fluff just so and gestured for Virgil to settle in and make himself comfortable. He made soft grabby hands from underneath his sweater paws when Patton sat facing him opposite on the bed. "Please." He whimpered softly, right now, he just wanted to be held. Patton was quick to move up next to the darker trait, wrapping his arms around him and carding his fingers through his hair and placing a soft kiss to the top of his head.

They sat in silence for a good while as tears slowly slipped down Virgil's cheeks. Patton didn't push him to talk, or prod at him to find the source of the problem, smoothing small circles over the small of his back, and gently scratching at his scalp. He knew that when Virgil was ready to talk, he would. He could sense in the way that the smaller side clung to him, gentle sobs shaking his frame, that this storm had been a long time coming, and if holding him tight helped it break gently, then he would do so all night. Soon enough, Virgil felt his tears stop and he nuzzled against Patton's chest. "Thank you" he whispered, breathing shakily as his breathing began to regulate again.

"Hey, anytime Virgil." Patton whispered softly against his hair, squeezing him tightly and pressing his lips against his forehead in a chaste kiss. "Now, wanna tell me what's goin' on kiddo?"

Virgil sighed and nuzzled into Patton's chest. "Everything and nothing." It was true, there was nothing truly going on to cause him to be anxious. Yes Thomas had announced he was taking a break, but he was taking a break to plan ahead and be prepared; and all the Fanders had been so kind about it. Insisting that he take time to take care of himself, that they'd patiently wait and there'd been no backlash about it. The Twitter messages had been overwhelming when they'd been staying up late working on projects, playfully scolding Thomas about being up late and admonishing him to take care of himself. Things were good but...

"You're waiting for the other shoe to drop, aren't you?" Patton asked, tilting his head up and looking into his eyes with a soft smile. He kissed his forehead when Virgil nodded. "You know, sometimes, things can just be good. There doesn't always have to be something awful lurking around the corner."

"I know..." Virgil pouted "I can't help it though."

"Hey, it's okay. It's your job to be on your toes, but maybe we oughta give those toes a rest before someone mistakes you for a ballerina." Patton chuckled as he slipped his arms from around Virgil and stood up. "Come on my strange dark son, hot chocolate is in order!" He declared as he pulled Virgil up from his bed.

"With marshmallows?" Virgil asked, a small smile forming on his face.

"Extra marshmallows" Patton exclaimed as he practically skipped from his room towards the kitchen.Virgil chuckled and shook his head. Patton could be just as extra as Roman, but turning to him had definitely been the better option, he thought as he cast a glance at his bedroom door before following Patton down the steps.

~~~~~~~~~~

Logan had been sitting in the living room, calmly reading when the cry of "Extra marshmallows!" had come from the upstairs, followed quickly by the sound of Patton excitedly rushing down the stairs and sliding into the kitchen in his socked feet. Logan chuckled to himself at the playful sides silliness as he went back to reading. He was quickly distracted by the sound of a second person flouncing down the steps. Strange, I figured Patton was talking to Roman, but he struts more than anything. Perhaps, Misleading Compliment or Pranks had made an appearance today, the younger traits were still developing and tended to phase in and out as they waited on Thomas to confirm their existence.

He looked up towards the steps and quirked his eyebrow in shock, Virgil. Virgil was happily flumping down the steps, a smile on his face and sweater paws swinging by his side. He came to a stop at the landing near the bottom of the steps and looked at Logan sheepishly, his smiling fading slightly. "Oh, hi Logan."

Logan smiled at him "Greetings Virgil. You better get a move on or Patton will eat more marshmallows than he puts in the hot chocolate." He mused, tilting his head towards the kitchen before returning to his book. The lack of judgement seemed to comfort the timid boy as he jumped down the final two steps and headed into the kitchen to snatch a marshmallow from Patton, who had indeed been about to put one in his mouth.

"Logan, do you, do you want some hot chocolate?" Virgil asked from the kitchen, clearing his voice halfway through. Just because the sides accepted him, didn't mean it was always easy to speak to them. Especially the more scholarly side, who always seemed a bit intimidating to Virgil, if only because of the association with learning and grades.

Logan looked up in surprise, he hadn't been expecting that. "As a matter of fact, I would." He said, marking his place in his book and standing to stretch. His own sweater fell over his hands as he made his way towards the kitchen. At first, he'd been opposed to the zany design, but the warmth and comfort of it had grown on him, he'd been wearing it over his polo more and more often and had taken to ditching the tie when lounging.

Virgil noticed his sweater paws and practically giggled. Wait, giggled? Something had to be up, Logan thought. Virgil hadn't been laughing recently and he most certainly never giggled. He quirked his eyebrow at Patton who merely widened his eyes at him before smiling and passing him a mug of hot chocolate.

"You know what this hot chocolate party needs?" Virgil asked suddenly, "Fancy pants. That and whip cream, cinnamon, and chocolate chips to go with the marshmallows. I'm gonna go grab him, if you guys wanna get the rest of the toppings out." Before they could respond, he was gone, climbing the steps two at a time on his way to Roman's room.

Logan turned to face Patton, who looked far less astonished than he had a right to be. "What...?"

"We just averted a Code Fuchsia. If he wants to drink hot chocolate with all of us and watch sappy Disney movies you bet your bespectacled behind that's what we're gonna do." Patton answered, turning to gather the rest of the toppings that Virgil had rattled off.

"My behind isn't bespectacled, that wouldn't even make sense.." Logan muttered, shaking his head.

"Just hush and enjoy some time with our strange dark son." Patton teased as he placed the pantry goods on the counter and turned to grab the whip cream from the fridge.

"He's not your son, that's not how any of this works!" Logan exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation.

Patton laughed and squirted whip cream into his mouth. "They're just expressions Lo. I know your gluteus maximus physically can't wear glasses and that, while Virgil is quite literally my flesh and blood, he is not my kid."

"That's so unsanitary"

"Oh hush and open up." Patton laughed, tilting the can of whip cream upside down near his mouth. Logan rolled his eyes but smiled and did as Patton had asked, accepting the large heaping of whip cream. Of course, that exact moment was when Roman and Virgil re-entered the kitchen.

"Baby bird?" Patton asked them as they laughed at Logan's attempt to get the full pile of whip cream in his mouth and not on his sweater.

"After you Virge." Roman bowed with a sweeping gesture of his hand, laughter echoing as Virgil shoved his shoulder before dutifully opening his mouth and tilting his head back. Logan moved to stand by the counter and dropped a handful of chocolate chips into Roman's mouth when Patton had finished pouring whip cream into his mouth. Virgil snatched the can from Patton as he went to pour more into his mouth

"Stop it Pat! We won't have enough for the hot chocolate at this rate!" he laughed as he fought to keep the whip cream can away from Patton without spraying it onto the counter. This was of course unsuccessful and soon a streak of whip cream was on the counter and the bag of chocolate chips was knocked over as well.

There was a moment of silent panic, each side unsure how to react and fearing the reaction of the others before Thomas's giggling was heard from behind them. As if in slow motion, the sides all turned to face where he leant against the door frame, whip cream can still in Virgil's hands, Patton practically on top of him-hands around his middle reaching for the can. Logan cleared his throat and straightened his glasses as Roman wiped the stray whip cream off his face. "Thomas, we can explain..." Logan began.

"You better," Thomas said, attempting to glare at the four. "There's five of us and four mugs."

Patton was the first to laugh. "Sorry kiddo! Didn't know you'd be joining us" He said, managing to grab the can from Virgil who was still in a mild state of shock. "Baby bird?" He offered as Logan got down another mug down from the cupboard.

"As if I'd miss a hot cocoa party?" Thomas laughed as he tilted his head back for Patton to squirt the whip cream into his mouth as well. The kettle chose that exact time to whistle, startling Patton into spraying far too much into his mouth, sending them all into giggles once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometime later, the five boys were settled into the living room, The Hunchback of Notre Dame playing on the TV, hot chocolate almost gone and pizza on the way. At Patton's suggestion, they had removed the couch cushions and tossed piles of blankets and pillows down the steps and built quite the formidable blanket fort. Logan had suggested they wear their sweaters and Patton had lent his cat cardigan to the pouting Thomas. Roman had brought down an assortment of Disney titles that sat stacked by the DVD player. He'd been surprised when Virgil had chosen this particular one, the whole outcast becomes beloved and accepted plot line seemed like it'd be far too real, but he certainly wasn't going to complain, especially when he'd agreed to also watch the sequel.

He'd been surprised when Virgil had knocked on his door and asked him if he wanted to bring some Disney movies down and have some hot chocolate. The normally shy trait had even looked him directly in the eyes, a fiery challenge in his eyes at addressing him as 'Fancy pants'. Roman had just shook his head and told him he'd come down only if 'You come in and pick the movies out Grumpelstiltskin'

Roman smiled as he spotted Virgil singing along to "Hellfire" out of the corner of his eye. He was glad to see Virgil in a good mood. The last week had been hard, he could see him slowly sinking further into his own mind, and as much as he acted at odds with him, he did enjoy Virgil's company greatly. Sometimes it felt like Virgil was still playing the role of antagonist, and Roman could only sympathize with him. He knew how it felt to play a role for so long that you feel stuck in it. Far too many times, he'd completed a play and spent more than a few days trying to remember what mannerisms were the characters and which had been his.

The doorbell rang, stirring Roman from his thoughts. Thomas went to collect the pizzas and Logan turned on a small lamp in the corner, curse the winter for stealing the sun away at such an early hour. Roman let himself settle further into the blankets as Patton collected the cups they'd used for the hot chocolate. As he rinsed the cups to be used for soda, Thomas carried the pizza boxes into the living room, Logan brought in a roll of paper towels and the soda they'd bought. Soon the movie was playing again and food was being eaten, but Roman found himself struggling to focus on the movie, staring at the amber glow from the salt rock in the corner of the room. What was it Logan had said about the salt rock and the air? He didn't normally listen to Logan's lectures, but for some reason, this one had seemed important, if only he could remember it....

The movie had ended and he still hadn't remembered. He would just have to ask, he sighed as Patton and Thomas cleaned the remnants of dinner and Virgil changed out one disc for the next. He reached over to where Logan was reading the back of the movie box and poked his temple.

"Yes Roman?" Logan asked in mild annoyance as he continued to read. "What is it?"

"Remember that little lecture you gave about the salt rock?" Roman asked, as Logan finally looked up at him.

"I do not lecture." Logan leveled a small glare at him "I do however remember telling you about the benefits of salt lamps."

Roman fought the urge to roll his eyes, angering Logan would not do well for the warm atmosphere that had built up in the living room. "Right that. Pretty please give a short summary of it." He asked, as politely as he could. "I find myself unable to remember and it is quite bothersome." He explained when Logan quirked his eyebrow up at him.

"Well," Logan said, pushing his glasses up from where they'd slipped down his nose, "While the extent is yet to be scientifically proven, the negative ions released can improve mood, increase serotonin and prevent illness. In general, they serve to balance out the energy of the air, and also the energy of those who breathe it"

"Thanks Specs." Roman responded, quickly cutting off a further explanation from the, at times, long-winded side. He smiled at him and nudged him with his shoulder to quell any possible irritation at being cut off as the movie began to play. Now that he knew what they did, he knew what he was going to do. Waiting until the movie had begun and the others were well and distracted, he slowly phased from the living room up to the upstairs hallway.

He snuck down the hallway and paused with his hand on the doorknob. This was dangerous. Not only entering Virgil's room without his permission, but also entering it alone. He steeled himself with a deep breath and opened the door slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible. He didn't need to enter the room, just to be able to see it. He smiled as he began to conjure items in the room, working as quickly as he could before softly closing the door and phasing back to the living room.

He wasn't sure his plan would work, but it couldn't hurt. Even if salt lamps didn't have proven medical benefits, Virgil had liked looking at it, so it would hopefully bring a smile to his face either way. He settled back into the blanket pile and allowed himself to be caught up in the world of Disney magic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan thought it had been weird when Roman had asked about the salt lamp, but as he saw him phase out of the living room and heard the soft creak of the door upstairs, he thought he understood. He caught Patton's eyes and the two shared a smile. In the shuffle of gathering the supplies for the blanket fort, they'd been able to pass along the nearly averted Code Fuchsia and it was heart warming to see Roman thinking outside the box for ways to help Virgil move further down the spectrum.

Logan sighed to himself as the movie continued in the background. It seemed everyone had found a way to help except for him. Patton had talked to him and made him hot chocolate, Roman had pulled out the movies and was now doing something with salt lamps, and even Thomas had shown up whispering small affirmations in passing and picking comfort foods for him. He wanted to help, wanted to make a difference, to show that he cared too, even if Virgil didn't realize what was going on.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Virgil stretch and rub at the muscles of his neck. That was it! He had been at a Code Fuchsia, Virgil must have been majorly stressed. Stress causes tension and tension leaves muscles sore and achy, and the muscular system was one that Logan knew like the back of his hand. He got up and went to fill a glass with water, grabbing a bottle of lotion from the counter and coming back to the living room.

It had taken him embarrassingly long to come up with this solution and the second movie of the night had ended. Virgil diverted the decision to Patton who chose Home on the Range because it was 'the perfect mix of childish comedy and angst' and had pouted at Roman when he attempted to disagree. As the movie was put in and the blanket fort revamped, Logan moved over to where Virgil was sitting and handed him the glass of water before sitting next to him. "Virgil. Are you alright?" He asked softly, not wanting it to seem like he was calling him out, or let on that he'd been made aware of the situation earlier that day.

"Um ya... I'm fine. Why?" Virgil stammered out, looking down at his hands.

"You merely looked tense is all. I was going to offer my knowledge of the muscular system in aiding your muscles to relax." Logan said, shrugging and moving as if to stand.

"Wait, you mean you were offering me a massage?" Virgil asked, shaking his head in an attempt to muddle through just what Logan had said.

"Well yes, I suppose I could have phrased it that way." Logan said, hiding a smile as he settled back on the ground next to Virgil. Of course he'd been right, use more words than necessary and they were guaranteed to ask for clarification. A perfect foot in the door technique if ever there was one.

"Do you even know how to massage? That doesn't seem like your normal area of expertise Teach." Virgil asked teasingly.

"Well Virgil, massage is the study of anatomy in braille." Logan responded with a smirk, grabbing the lotion from where he had tossed it onto the couch. "Care to test my skills?" He asked quirking his eyebrow and doing his best to convey that it was completely up to him.

"Um sure, I guess that'd be nice. My shoulders and neck have kinda been bothering me and" Virgil leaned closer, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper "no offense to Patton, but Home on The Range isn't exactly my favorite Disney movie. Too much of the angst happens before the happy ending."

Logan chuckled quietly "Mine either, but who are we to tell him no. If you would move forward a bit, I can sit behind you on the couch. Also, you may wish to remove your sweater so that I may have better access to your shoulders." He smiled softly as Virgil nodded and complied.

He settled onto the couch behind him and gently pulled on his shoulders so he would scoot back, leaning on the couch and nestled between his knees. He pumped a bit of the lotion into his palms and warmed it up before putting his hands on Virgil's shoulders. The movie began to play as Logan slowly worked at the tension in Virgil's shoulders, working further up into his neck as the movie progressed. Slowly, he felt Virgil begin to nod off, using his hands to tilt his head back to rest on his lap, rather than falling forward. He let his fingers work further up into his scalp as the side drifted deeper into sleep.

The movie ended and Logan managed to quickly hush them before anyone woke him up. Patton and Thomas began to sort out the blankets and pillows as Roman returned the movies to his room, and Logan worked to keep Virgil relaxed and asleep. As Patton lifted Virgil's bundle of bedding, Roman knelt down and gently scooped the sleeping side into his arms and began to carry him up the steps towards his room.

"You did good Logan." Thomas said softly as he finished sorting out the blankets. "All of you did. I hadn't even realized things were as bad as they were. How'd you know?"

"We didn't. Virgil went to Patton and asked for help. I think he finally trusts us Thomas." Logan replied, smiling softly up at the forms of Patton laden with blankets and Roman cradling Virgil as they climbed the steps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil felt himself being jostled softly and snuggled deeper into the warmth enveloping him. He was vaguely aware of being carried but he was simply too tired to give it much thought. His stomach was still pleasantly full of pizza instead of nerves and laughter echoed through his mind rather than voices of self doubt.

"Here, lemme just get these blankets and pillows back on the bed real quick Ro." Patton said softly as he opened the door to Virgil's room. Inside the dark room was softly glowing as small salt lamps shifted through a rainbow gradient and large ones glowed a soft amber from the corners of the room. Patton turned to look at Roman, eyes wide with shock.

"Shh, just make the bed Pat. I don't want him to wake up in my arms. Goodness knows how that would end" Roman said, not quite willing to own up to being the one responsible for the lights.

Patton smiled and busied himself with laying out the blankets and pillows on Virgil's bed, slipping out and over to his room as Roman went to lay Virgil into the bed. Roman looked at him questioningly when he returned carrying a small black teddy bear. "It's got lavender in it, to help him sleep." Patton shrugged as he tucked it underneath the blankets next to Virgil and the two left the room.

Virgil smiled and cracked one eye open as the door closed. As he pulled the lavender scented bear closer to him and snuggled down into the sheets that also seemed to have been sprayed with lavender and vanilla, he closed his eyes and let the light from the salt lamps dance over them as memories of laughter danced behind them.

Today may have started bad, but it certainly hadn't ended that way. He knew that not every day would be perfect and that things were bound to go wrong, but as he drifted back off to sleep he was certain: so long as he had the other sides and Thomas, he would never have to face it alone again.

[whyiask]

11 and 15 for the fanfic ask thing🖤

What’s a fanfic idea you haven’t done yet?

Ooh okay, so I have about a billion AUs churning around in my head, but one of the most notable ones I want to do is a Princess and the Popstar sanders sides au, which sounds really weird, but hear me out: Virgil as Tori, a price who wants nothing more than to be free, and Roman as Keira, a world famous popstar who dreams of living as a prince.

Give us a snippet of something from your WiPs!

huehuehuehuehue, okay here is a snippet from my SaSi Dance AU! It's taking a long time to write because I want to do it justice, but here is a small piece:

Janus's smile reminded Roman of the cheshire cat. "In all honesty though- yes, yes, I know that's surprising coming from me- but congratulations. You deserve it."

Roman jolted forward in surprise. "You really think so?"

Janus raised an eyebrow. "When have I ever lied to you?"

Roman could only stare.

"Fine," Janus raised a hand in mock surrender. "Maybe I've lied once or twice."

"Or a thousand times," Roman muttered, but there was no real animosity behind his words.

Janus chose to ignore the comment.

"Psst, kiddos, hate to break up this bromance, but class is starting."

Janus and Roman made identical sounds of annoyance.

"I'm only one year younger than you!" Roman protested at the same time Janus said dryly,

"I'm one year older than you, Patton."

[hollenka99]

2020, According To My Tumblr Archive

January

Like many, freaked out about the Dhawan!Master reveal

Unus Annus reached 2 million subs

Ethan finally saw his sub count reach 1 million

Reblogged the elf pussy post with a version of the elf practice meme and now every time I see that meme, I think of that post

Finally made my Dyspraxic!Chase post

Fleshed out Creator!Jackie a little in terms of Nyesha (his girlfriend) and his prosthetics

February

Got really into Take Me or Leave Me for a short while which led to me watching RENT for the first time

Finally made that follow up to A Talk With The Creator I’d been meaning to write for months (aka A Day Long Overdue)

Started posting Unus Annus trigger warnings for a few weeks after the video where they demonstrate how they’d kill each other as a joke

Reached the 100 follower milestone after nearly 4 years on this site

Got very into WTNV again and binged like 60+ episodes in the space of 2 or so weeks

March

Watched Starkid’s Black Friday

Posted The Doctor on the anniversary of The Friend’s posting

Made some posts about the women of TLoJJ for International Women’s Day

Bupine received an anon ask teasing her about a typo which is common in our friendship group. Usual suspects were accused until the true culprit revealed themself via an acrostic (aka me being extra and I loved every second of it)

Went to the cat cafe in Nottingham

Made sure people were aware of World Puppetry Day by sending anon asks to people I thought might get a kick out of it

Posted Fighting Stolen Breaths

Steven Universe Future ended

Having been in the beginning stages of creation since ~Oct 2019, Jumbled AU content starts appearing

April

Spent the 1st doing an ask event for the Jumbled AU as a way of properly introducing it

Confused a bunch of people outside the Jacksepticeye community when I made a post saying how great it was that $400k had been raised in 2.5 hours during the HopeFromHome stream

Posted The Vlogger for Chase’s birthday

Got hyped to write a Śmigus Dyngus fic featuring Jumbled!Chase and his kids but got sick (regular illness, don’t worry) and therefore never finished it

Norbert Moses existed for 24 hours but he will exist much longer in our hearts

Managed to stay up to see 4:20am on April 20th

Posted the prologue and officially began the story of Jumbled

Watched Ghost for the first time

May

Fanders finally got the continuation of Selfishness vs Selflessness (Putting Others First aka SvS Redux) and learned Deceit’s name

Started talking about The Fall of Naesia

Pretty sure I hyperfixated on Queen for a week or so

Got introduced to ‘Storp Chorleigh, this game has gorn on lawng enuff’ and my life has significantly improved

CumGate happened

Got into ATLA

Black Lives Matter

Created the ‘it’s gonna be gay’ post that would destroy my inbox for the next few days

Had my first experience behind a wheel

June

Posted Flag, the response to which has made me proud of it

Poland scares and disappoints me part 1 (queer rights edition)

Sean posts another blooper video which causes me to make edits that subsequently inspire me to write Little Interruptions

Created an entire mythology purely because I thought a winged humanoid/merperson pairing was a cool concept

Reminded my friends why I should never be allowed to stay up until 4am because I just start talking nonsense

July

Finally watched An Inspector Calls and immediately wanted to make a Sanders Sides au with it.

Started talking about Creator again

Had another ask event to celebrate Jackie’s birthday

Also posted Photographs for his birthday which I love

Reached 150 followers around the middle of this month, I think

Discovered Kipo but wouldn’t fall for it head over heels with it for another month

One Direction celebrated their 10th anniversary and I was possessed by my 15 year old self for a week

Posted The Mediary which properly brought Creator AU back to my blog for a short while

August

Eddsworld came back after years

Posted The Creator and officially completed the main part of the au

Poland scares and disappoints me part 2 (queer rights edition continued)

Finally revealed Jumbled Anti’s identity to the world and got threatened on my birthday because of it

Discovered the Unus Annus video I’d been waiting all year for would be centered around them chewing on dog toys but it did feature “I’m the Unus to your Annus” so that was cool

Binged the first 2 seasons of Kipo in like a day and correctly predicted the Mega Monkey’s identity ages with very little foreshadowing to go off of

September

Started showing my love for Puppet History

Among Us was a thing

Got back into Playchoices

BBC Ghosts came back for series 2

Watched Pride twice in 24 hours and made sure everyone knew I’m heart eyes for it

October

Trump got sick

Family friend took one of my teeth

The world was blessed with Patton in a dress

Replayed Septiscape ahead of Soulscape’s release and liveblogged it

C!Thomas got a love interest and I’m really happy for him

Kipo season 3 came out

Literally the next day, the Dream SMP brainrot officially began

Discovered Thanzag existed and fell for the angsty side of their relationship despite knowing barely anything about the game

Poland scares and disappoints me part 3 (abortion edition)

Started bingeing The Magnus Archives and got through 150 episodes in about 2 weeks

Halloween was an eventful night for both the Jacksepticeye and Unus Annus communities

November 

Unus Annus began its epilogue period

Watched V For Vendetta for the first time which was probably the least eventful thing to happen on the night of November 5th 2020

Destiel became somewhat canon and people found out Putin was thinking of resigning because of that

US elections

Unus Annus died following a 12 hour livestream

Somehow, my mad attempt to summarise every video of Unus Annus kinda paid off

Supernatural trended again because of its finale

Went through a period of questioning whether I’m asexual but settled on ‘sex ambivalent allosexual’ for now

Destiel became canon again but reciprocated and Spanish this time

Discovered Webtoon and Castle Swimmer

December

The monolith saga began

Elliot Page came out as trans

Mark went to hospital for an obstruction again and the community became very invested in his recovery process

Scotch eggs with your drinks became a brief meme over here in Britain

Your New Boyfriend was released

Destiel’s canon status was brought back to the spotlight once more

Watched The Godfather for the first time

Reached 200 followers

We got somewhat of a Dan and Phil video after so long with Phil trying on clothes while Dan reacts behind the camera

BBC Ghosts came back for Christmas to say Tories suck and you should make the most of your time with your family

Got into Mother Mother after Wilbur played the intro to Hayloft and I decided to see what the fuss was about

Watched Bridgerton and immediately felt the need to write something historical

The Mishapocalypse returned

[uppastthejelliclemoon]

41 and 47

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

“Thievery, magic, and some less than perfect police work” by @rainbowratsstuff - a really amazing mistomungostraps story that I’m absolutely obsessed with! I’m so excited for the next update.

“was nick carraway gay for gatsby?” by moonjuicewiththepresident - a quality Sanders Sides groupchat fic that includes all the sides and is probably one of my favorite fics at the moment.

“why are they all verified” by HeckoHackoHappy - a Marvel Twitter fic! I love these kinds of fics + groupchat fics, and I’m honestly starting to think about writing one of my own. Absolutely recommend if you like Marvel!

“We’ll Meet IIn The Stars” by ClaireofAppalachia - It’s a fic for James Cameron’s “Avatar”, okay, but I’m actually in love with it. That’s one of the fandoms I’ve never written fic for, but I absolutely love the stories people post for it.

“Dance With Me” by Octibbles - Three words: Edwardian Victeazer AU. I’m just... so soft when I read it, and I love the writing style and the way Tori and Teazer are written. I 100% recommend it.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

- Okay, this is actually a pretty difficult question. At the moment, I really enjoy posting on Ao3, because I love the format, I love that you can add as many tags and characters as you want, and you can also respond to comments! However, I definitely prefer Tumblr for the prompts I receive through asks, except if those prompts end up developing into a longer story. 

- Fanfiction.net will always be more nostalgic to me, because that’s where pretty much all of my stories for other fandoms are posted. I’ve had an account on that site for the past six years, and every time I get a notification that someone’s reviewed one of my stories, or favorited it, it always makes me super happy, because those stories are my babies. The stories I have posted there make me proud, and some of them took me years to finish, and I love them all. So yeah, I prefer posting on Ao3 and Tumblr, but Fanfiction.net will always be nostalgic.

[ao3feed-trc]

Raven’s prompts - Requests

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3maTc3H

by The_King_Of_Ravens

Hi! I’m stuck in quarantine, and then it’s Christmas break. I want to use this time to write more stories. Please send me prompts for these fandoms.

Words: 93, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner, The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner (Movies), Cobra Kai (Web Series), Descendants (Disney Movies), Sanders Sides (Web Series), Once Upon a Time (TV), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Newt (Maze Runner), Thomas (Maze Runner), Minho (Maze Runner), Chuck (Maze Runner), Alby (Maze Runner), Gally (Maze Runner), Winston (Maze Runner), Frypan (Maze Runner), Brenda (Maze Runner), Teresa Agnes, Clint (Maze Runner), Jeff (Maze Runner), Jorge (Maze Runner), Vince (Maze Runner), Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz, Demetri (Cobra Kai), Miguel Diaz (Cobra Kai), Aisha Robinson, Samantha LaRusso, Moon (Cobra Kai), Yasmine (Cobra Kai), Piper (Cobra Kai), Tory Nichols, Kyler (Cobra Kai), Bert (Cobra Kai), Nathaniel (Cobra Kai), Harry Hook, Uma (Disney), Uma's Crew (Disney), Gil (Disney: Descendants), Mal (Disney), Ben (Disney: Descendants), Carlos de Vil, Jane (Disney: Descendants), Evie (Disney), Jay (Disney), Doug (Disney: Descendants), Li Lonnie, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders, Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Alice Jones | Tilly, Felix (Once Upon a Time), Peter Pan | Malcolm, Henry Mills (Once Upon a Time), Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Prince Charming | David Nolan, Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Belle (Once Upon a Time), Jake Peralta, Amy Santiago, Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn Nine-Nine), Terry Jeffords, Charles Boyle, Ray Holt, Noah Czerny, Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch, Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3maTc3H

[bnvupdates]

How Healthcare for All Views Alternative Medicine

From acupuncture to herbal supplements, alternative medicine is on the rise in the United States. Americans spend $34 billion out-of-pocket on alternative treatments per year and nearly 40 percent of American adults are using alternative therapies.

Despite the fact that most alternative treatments are not covered by insurance, these practices are here to stay. As study after study validates their promises, alternative therapies are making their way into conventional hospitals and medical school curriculums. 

With alternative medicine entering the mainstream, a question arises: At what point does the unconventional become conventional enough to be covered by insurance? Will a more progressive healthcare system also mean progressive insurance policies that include alternative therapies?

What are alternative therapies?

Alternative therapies include acupuncture, ayurveda, biofeedback, chiropractic treatment, deep breathing, homeopathy, hypnosis, massage, meditation, natural products, naturopathy, yoga and more. The top 3 alternative therapies in 2007 included “natural products” (fish oil being the most widely used), deep breathing, and meditation, respectively. 

Although 50 years ago these treatments were considered “woo woo,” today many are gaining traction and viability in the public sphere thanks to new studies. For example, meditation has now been found to improve cognitive function by literally increasing the concentration of gray matter in the brain. Plus, meditation shows promise for treating pain and some disorders, with studies suggesting it to be at least as effective as prescription medication and cognitive behavior therapy for addiction, anxiety and depression. 

How is alternative medicine covered today?

In 2005, the National Academies of Science found that insurance companies were increasingly beginning to cover alternative medicine. Yet today, more than 10 years later, few alternative therapies are covered. According to Dr. Sarah Bennett, a naturopathic doctor from Natural Med Doc, insurers are most likely to cover practices that are both considered medically necessary and have been backed by sufficient scientific research. 

The following are the percentages of firms that cover certain alternative therapies, as compiled by QuoteWizard:

Massage therapy: 17 percent (often only if physical therapy and medication haven’t helped)

Chiropractic care: 91 percent

Acupuncture: 32 percent

Homeopathy: 11 percent

Beyond this list, coverage of alternative treatments is rare. When insurance policies do include these treatments, they typically limit the number of visits or require proof that the treatment is medically necessary. Whether naturopathic doctor visits are covered is highly dependent on the state and insurance plan. 

What is Healthcare for All?

In 1948, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared health a basic human right. 

Since then, the world has experienced an increasing demand for universal healthcare, meaning that everyone, whether or not they can afford to pay for it, would have access to essential health services. As of 2018, 58 countries, including all developed countries except the United States, have delivered some form of universal health care.

19 countries including Canada, Norway, Japan and the United Kingdom achieve this using a single-payer system. Under the single-payer system, the government can either provide all healthcare services or provide insurance coverage and allow private companies to provide the care. 

Under other systems, such as in Germany, Austria and the Netherlands, there is a combination of state and private participants. Germany’s multi-payer model requires people to purchase private insurance coverage. This is funded through progressive taxation based on need rather than ability to pay, requiring citizens to have health insurance but offering over 100 private insurers to choose from.

In the United States, 2020 democratic presidential candidates including Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Kirsten Gillibrand, and Cory Booker have indicated support for a single payer system. With “Healthcare for All” a real possibility in our country’s future, where would alternative medicine fit in?

Will alternative medicine be included in Healthcare for All?

To determine how alternative medicine might fit into Healthcare for All, it is useful to consider how other countries have incorporated alternative medicine into their universal healthcare plans. 

In Canada, coverage for alternative therapies depends on the state but is generally restrictive. Like Americans, many Canadians use alternative medicine but pay out-of-pocket for it.  In Germany, although 77% of clinics provide acupuncture, alternative treatments are usually only covered when standard treatments produce detrimental side effects, when they are cheaper than conventional treatments, or when there is no other treatment option available. In the United Kingdom, the National Health Service (NHS) website states that the “availability of [complementary and alternative medicine] on the NHS is limited, and in most cases the NHS will not offer such treatments.”

As indicated by Canada, Germany and the UK, a progressive healthcare system does not necessarily indicate coverage of alternative treatments. 

In the United States, the availability of alternative therapies under Healthcare for All may depend on several factors as of yet undetermined, such as how the plan is rolled out. For example, if all hospitals become government-owned in a socialized model, the variety of doctors and treatments to choose from may decrease, therefore potentially also decreasing the variety of alternative health practitioners and treatments covered. However, a single- or multi-payer system would not necessarily have a significant impact on the variety of treatment options. 

Whether Healthcare for All will directly impact coverage of alternative medicine or not is uncertain. More likely, the increased adoption of these therapies by the mainstream will be a significant factor to increase coverage.

Plus, thanks to the continued study of alternative therapies, many of these treatments will no longer be considered “alternative” at all. Instead, science and consumer demand will pave the way for alternative therapies to earn their place in mainstream medicine as a part of an integrative approach to health and wellness.

For more on healthcare in the U.S., check out our other recent post: How Healthcare Costs are Affecting Americans This Year.

_______________

Katherine (Tori) Lutz is a graduate of Florida State University and current student at Columbia University. Professionally, she has a great deal of writing and editing experience, particularly in the health field with the help of experienced doctors like Dr. Sarah Bennett. She currently lives in New York City and spends her free time reading and dining with friends.

from https://ift.tt/3224Uke

[peaceforourtime-blog1]

Through the Looking-Glass

I started this journal one year ago today in the hopes of looking deeper into the world around us, and how it parallels to history. The first - and to this date only - post came in the wake of the Brexit referendum, and with the United States Presidential election looming. Unfortunately, after the first post, a lot changed, throughout the world and personally, and I no longer desired to write down my thoughts. I had recently decided to look back at my only post on Peace For Our Time, and realized that I was coming up on the one year anniversary of its posting. So, one year later, I have decided to look back at the broad topics I had discussed in my introduction post, and see where we stand now.

A year after Brexit, life in the United Kingdom has changed significantly. Understandably there has been economic uncertainty, as the UK has not yet left the European Union, and the markets do not know how the British economy will fare once it has fully jettisoned itself from the EU. Politically, there has been a historic shift towards the more left-wing Labour Party, spearheaded by Jeremy Corbyn.

Corbyn, once a Euroskeptic himself, has more recently changed his stance on Britain’s inclusion in the European Union. In a speech last June, Corbyn said “We, the Labour Party, are overwhelmingly for staying in, because we believe the European Union has brought investment, jobs and protection for workers, consumers and the environment,”[1]. Following the Brexit results, Corbyn faced harsh criticism from his own party members who believed that he did not do enough in the lead-up to the EU referendum to convince citizens to vote Remain, and it seemed as though his position as the party’s leader was at risk. Jeremy Corbyn managed to defeat Owen Smith - the only member of the party contending against him - and solidified his position as Labour leader. His victory over Owen Smith would be the prelude to a much greater challenge.

On April 18th, Prime Minister Theresa May of the Conservative Party (The Tories), called for a snap election, which May believed would result in a stronger majority for the Tories. The crux of the election was based on how to manage Brexit negotiations, but also the security of the nation. National security became a hot topic in the United Kingdom when the nation was rocked by two separate terrorist attacks in Manchester and in London. These attacks cast a spotlight over May’s cuts to police and anti-terrorism units, with former Met chief inspector Peter Kirkham calling May "criminally negligent with the safety of the public,"[2]. The damage was done, and on June 8th, British voters granted Labour its biggest victory since 1945 - gaining 30 seats in the House of Commons to give them 262 seats - and the Tories losing 13 seats, forcing them to seek support from the nationalist Democratic Unionist Party. Though Theresa May remains Prime Minister, it was a crushing blow for a party that believed the election would provide greater returns. Instead, Jeremy Corbyn’s dynamic personality and promises to strengthen public services, security, and industry energized supporters and swayed those on the fence to come out in support of the Labour Party.

Last year, the United States presidential election was heating up, with Republican nominee Donald Trump squaring off against Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton. The populist fervor in this country grew significantly from candidates such as Donald Trump and Clinton’s main challenger in the Democratic primaries, Bernie Sanders. Trump campaigned on radical reforms to the US government - claiming that, if elected, he would “drain the swamp” in Washington of lobbyists and insiders, leave NATO, and repeal all of Obama’s reforms, among other things. Trump was able to channel conservative anger at Obama’s policies, paranoia towards immigrants, refugees, and even fellow Americans into a frenzy, feeling almost like the polar opposite of Obama’s ‘HOPE’ slogan that he ran on originally in 2008. Clinton - a former First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State - was seen as the “insider” in the election, which did not bode well for her campaign.

Clinton maintained a slight advantage in opinion polls in the weeks leading up to the election, even though both candidates were regarded rather negatively by Americans. Clinton’s lead would be damaged just eleven days before the election, as then-FBI Director James Comey came out and said that they had obtained additional emails pertaining to Hillary Clinton from a different case, which reignited discussions on Secretary Clinton’s private email server. On November 6th, only two days before the election, Comey came out and said that there was nothing on the emails that changed the FBI’s results from their initial Clinton investigation, but the damage had been done, and on November 8th, Donald Trump was elected the 45th President of the United States.

Though Trump lost the popular vote by nearly three million votes, the Trump campaign worked several battleground states like Wisconsin, North Carolina, Florida, and Michigan harder than Clinton, and flipped them to his side, helping him to secure the Electoral votes necessary to defeat his Democratic opponent. Since becoming President, Trump has been criticized for a variety of reasons - claiming he would ‘drain the swamp’ while filling his cabinet with Washington insiders, lobbyists, and Goldman Sachs executives, reneging on his promise to reveal his tax returns after the election was over, his immigration policies, tweetstorms in which he rails against political opponents, celebrities, foreign leaders, the media, and even his own intelligence committees, firing FBI Director Comey and then threatening to reveal recordings of their conversations before Comey testified before the Senate, for taking advice from men such as Steve Bannon and his son-in-law Jared Kushner, and most importantly the relationship between Trump, his cabinet, and Russia.

The details of the Trump presidency would require a separate post to get into greater detail, but what is more important is the reverberations felt in this country and around the world following Trump’s victory. In the United States, there have been significant protests from different groups - from citizens opposing Trump’s travel ban, to the scientific community, those against the proposed Healthcare plan being pushed by the GOP which stands to “increase the number of people without health insurance by 22 million by 2026,“[3], and those angry with Trump’s words inciting hate crimes across the nation.

With Trump’s victory, white nationalist groups have continued infecting sections of the internet and “redpilling” them. Websites such as Reddit’s r/The_Donald and 4chan’s /pol/ section have been havens for these groups to grow their influence and rail against a variety of boogeymen - SJWs, Islam, Communists, Black Lives Matter, Antifa, etc. Clashes between these groups have become more commonplace, and the divide in this country becomes deeper. Hate crimes have become more commonplace since Trump’s victory, with the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) released a report this year describing how in 2016 there was a “57 percent increase in anti-Muslim bias incidents over 2015. This was accompanied by a 44 percent increase in anti-Muslim hate crimes in the same period,”[4]. While American citizens fight an ideological battle in the streets of major cities to silence from Trump, his administration begins to cut back on education spending, the EPA, and plans to slash Medicaid spending “by $834 billion over 10 years,“[5], all in the name of Making America Great Again.

Internationally, Trump’s election became a specter to countries with their own elections coming up. In The Netherlands, far-right candidate Geert Wilders of the nationalist Party for Freedom (PVV) sought to become the next Prime Minister. With Trump’s support, Geert Wilders was eager to follow up on his victory in the US election, but failed to unseat Mark Rutte as PM. Despite the loss, Wilders and the PVV’s anti-Islam, anti-immigration, Euroskeptic stance resonated with Dutch voters, as they gained five seats from the election and will still be a challenger to Rutte’s majority in the future.

In France, Marine Le Pen, daughter of National Front founder Jean-Marie Le Pen, also sought to ride the wave of populism and right-wing anger from Trump’s victory and become President of France. Marine had changed the face of the National Front, which was once seen as too radical, and made it more “friendly” to French voters. Le Pen had the backing of both Trump and Russia, who saw her hard stance on the refugee crisis as a way of stemming the perceived tides of violence and terrorism, but ultimately could not defeat the young, charismatic Emmanuel Macron, a centrist banker who formed his own party - En Marche! and brought a message of hope and unification. Macron is seen by the far-right as a radical who will open up the borders to more refugees and further destroy the fabric of French society, while some on the left see Macron as someone who will not uphold progressive policies and will be more on the side of corporate interests. While Macron has criticisms from both sides, his victory was another blow to the far-right populist movements growing around Europe.

We have gazed into the looking-glass and seen a world changed by far-right nationalism, populism, and extremism. White nationalist sentiment continues to grow in spaces on the internet where anonymity is king, but all is not lost. The reaction from those who wish to fight back against the tides of populism and white nationalism has invigorated people who felt hopeless in the face of Trump’s victory. During the interwar period, fascism grew from the ashes of war. Nations such as Italy, Germany, Spain, and Hungary fell under its enticing power, but ultimately fascism crumbled after World War II. We live in a time where fascism’s dark specter has been revived under the code word of “nationalism” and seeks to grab hold of the people once again and entice them with nationalism, populism, and hatred of the “other”. It is up to us to ensure that fascism does not return to prominence, as it does not lead to peace. Peace for our time has once again not been achieved and that is why the fight continues.

[ascreamingstrawberry]

Friends

Summary: “He wasn’t happy, wasn’t sure if he felt any better, but at least his friends were here with him.” - Dee has a rough night, so his friends help him out. 

June 24th : Friendship, June 25th : Roceit, June 26th : Loceit, June 27th : DLAMP, June 28th : Patceit, June 29th : Anxceit, June 30th : FamILY

Pairings: None, like I swear they’re all platonic.

Word Count: 1,462

Warnings : sympathetic deceit!  mentions of gender/sexuality questioning, mentions of not eating, angst (lots of it). mentions of the band Bowling for Soup (yeah that one from Phinease + Ferb)

Notes : Ah this is a vent piece, whoops. Also suck at titles hep. If you find Good/Sympathetic Deceit triggering or you just don’t like it, don’t read. Leave a like, a reblog, message, and reply! I love hearing your comments.

It wasn’t uncommon to find Dee with his legs stretched out on the floor, back leaned up against to his desk, fighting the voice in his head that berated him. There was that little part of him that wanted to scream, wanted to tug at his hair, to kick his feet and demand that things go his way. He slipped his hands up in between the strands of his brown hair that he hadn’t washed today, resisting the urge to scratch at the clothes made his skin itch.

Dee didn’t want to care about what it meant to be a he, what it meant to feel wholeheartedly. Dee didn’t want to resist the twitch in his hands every time he watched one of his friends shower another in affection, celebrating each other’s uniqueness. Dee didn’t want to think about the difference of attraction to romance and romantic attraction, or the long list of broken hearts behind him that he tried to pass off as miscommunication. Or not finding the one yet.

He wanted to sleep, and never wake up. Stay in dreamland where things were either so fuzzy and hazy that he felt soft as cotton candy, or they were horrifying, the worst he’s ever felt. But at least he could clearly recall the fear embedded in every bone of his body, keeping him from speaking or moving. At least there he could feel.

Dee’s shoulders shook, twitching along with his stomach as he cried. The tears didn’t even run, damn things. They just stayed collected at the edges of his eyes, blurring his vision until he attempted to wipe them away with the back of a shaky hand. His mouth twisted up, and he turned a little to the left to avoid the stand up mirror facing him, he didn’t need more to feel bad at the moment. He wasn’t sure how long he had sat there, clutching the small stuffed snake that branded his university’s logo, until a knock interrupted him from his self pity.

It could have been an RA or anyone else, but of course it had to be Patton’s tenor voice coming through from the hallway. Dee imagined Patton had his head pressed against the wall next to his door, as he’s opened to the sight many times. Patton would usually be humming something, the energy in him buzzing through his veins causing him to bounce with almost every part of his body. He was taller than most, the tallest of their friends at least, and his limbs just stretched so far that he was kind of everywhere at once.

And Dee didn’t even consider that he would’ve had people with him, he was up and opening the door before his brain could catch up with him. His eyes registered that the other three were standing behind him, but all Dee could see was that damn blue polo of his being as short as Dee is, and next thing he knew his eyes were squeezed close and arms were being wrapped around him.

He was pushed further into his room, it suddenly felt smaller than any other room they’ve all been in together. Logistically that was because he was in a single, and they were in a kitchen suite with two double rooms and an empty, so his was smaller. But as he wrapped his arms around Patton’s waist, he wanted to be closer. He wanted just a little of the warmth or the joy that the older man radiated to transfer to him. Dee felt a hand slip between them, brushing away the hair falling over his eyes and collecting a bunch of tears with his thumb, a soft, sibling-like kiss pressed to the top of his hair. The move was comfortable, and he almost felt bad for pressing his cheek against the hand like until he heard Roman’s deep bass laugh a little wetly.

Dee lifted his head from Patton’s chest, tried to pull away in an attempt to gain some dignity back in a group where he never had any to begin with, when lanky arms wrapped his shoulders pulling him into another hug. A hand patted his back, and Logan stepped away, and Virgil’s hug was as soft as quick as it was rare.

“You wanna talk?” Patton asked, his voice low and quiet and fuck, Dee felt like a child the way he shook his head no in response, and practically made grabby paws at him. Patton smiled though, pulled him into a hug anyway as things moved around them.

By the time Dee pulled away, Roman was putting a handful of candy wrappers in the trash bin as he hummed along to an old Bowling for Soup song that Virgil had started playing from Dee’s open laptop. If Dee had the energy, he would reach over and close the email tab that was still open, the start of tonight’s breakdown, but he didn’t so it was left staring him down from across the room. A battle with his past, a reminder of the people he’s hurt, of how he’s evil, doesn’t deserve-

Virgil closed the tab. Didn’t just minimize it, apparently not caring at all what was on it as he pressed the little red x, but definitely noticing the way Dee’s eyes blinked back at him when it was gone. And now that he had his attention-“When’s the last time you ate anything besides those?”

Dee forced a smile passed his lips, wiped at his face, turned away from them, anything to not appear as weak and pathetic as he felt mumbling “Maybe Monday?”

“It’s Thursday.” Logan replied, there was a stiffness to his voice, and Dee bit his lip. They were mad, god he couldn’t even do so much as eat, and-laugh. Just laugh it off. Dee shrugged, smiling even though it kind of hurt, and mumbled an apology. “We should go get some real food in you then.”

Dee’s stomach wasn’t grumbling, it wasn’t like he was fighting against hunger of any kind, he just wasn’t hungry. So he just made a nonchalant noise, climbed over to use the step stool for his bed, being as he was shorter than most who kept their beds on the top notch, and wondered if they’d leave. “I can take care of myself, I know I act like it, but I’m not a baby.”

“No one called you a baby.” Roman replied, leaning against the closet door as a soft ukulele song played. Probably one of his additions, Dee thought to himself, the fact that the group tended to use his account since he was the only one with Spotify premium made him feel a little more integral.

Virgil sat in the chair by his desk, Pat joined Dee on the bed, and Logan leaned on his arm laid out next to the tv on his dresser. Roman bent down next to him, picking up a familiar flash of green and waving. “Childhood stuffed animal?”

“No.” Dee held his hands out and Roman tossed it his way, everyone kind of watching the way the shortest of them clutched the snake to his chest, pushing his face into it.

“I gave it to him.” Pat leaned over, nearly falling on top of Dee completely as he attempted to knock shoulders with him. Dee made a noise of agreement, soon enough the room would be filled with laughter and fond memories of middle school dance hits, but for now a smile came easy. He wasn’t happy, wasn’t sure if he felt any better, but at least his friends were here with him. 

The memory casted a ghost of a smile on Dee’s face as he pressed the face of the familiar stuffed snake into his tear filled face months later. He was cornered around buckets of his university stuff in the living room of his family’s one floored apartment. One of his sisters were sleepily loudly on the couch next to him as he scrolled through the photos from the previous semester hoping it would make him feel a little better. It didn’t. All it did was remind him that there would be more nights ahead like this. Trying to muffle his cries as his emotionally exhausted brain fought sleep for just one more hours as the same dreams that had comforted the desolate student, now only teased and terrorized him. It reminded him how empty the suite would feel with Patton no longer attending the school, Roman transferring in December, Virgil ignoring him, and Logan furious with him since he’d gone risked his health by forgetting to eat again. Yeah, the memory may have soothed him for a moment, but now all it did was make him miss them even more.

[ascreamingstrawberry]

Strip Me of My Walls, Please.

Previous : Part 5 + 6 , Present : Part 7 + 8, Next : Part 9, 

Summary: Logan hires a prostitute to pretend to be his boyfriend. Patton is a prostitute just trying to support his son when he falls with a very rich man needing him to pretend to be his boyfriend.

Chapter Summaries : Roman and Logan go to see how Patton’s holding up. Logan and Patton have a moment after he takes them home. Thomas comes home. 

Pairings: romantic Logicality, future romantic Prinxiety, Elle x Damien (my original characters)

Word Count: 3,574 

Warnings: mentions of bullying. safewording, aftercare? (is that what it’s called?) i’m still not good at these. but if there was like a chapter to be warned, it’s this one. MATURE THEMES.

Notes : Very long.  Please leave a like and a reblog! 

The two turned entered a red room, that had black shelves lining the walls, some of the pieces missing from their assigned places. Logan’s gaze fell to the bed, where Patton had his knees curled up to his chest, and there were handcuffs attached to the headboard, something else loose on the bed, but all Logan could see was Patton and how broken he looked.

Beautiful, wonderful, smart, funny, Patton who looked absolutely terrified, curled in on himself like a child afraid of the dark. Logan didn’t like this look on him at all, he much preferred the happy and adorable, yet incredibly appealing man he’d met just last night. Logan didn’t have much time to think on it, because Patton’s voice, softer than it had been when they were in his closet, more high pitched than when they had kissed, broke the silence that had fell over the room.

“R-Ro-Roman.” Patton stuttered out, and Logan felt a horrible, strong squeeze in his chest. Ro, or Roman, was across the room quicker than Logan could remember how long he hadn’t been standing next to him.

Roman. Patton’s best friend. Patton was broken, and his best friend was here. His best friend who would help him, because Logan was practically useless, he was still standing at the doorway while Roman whispered in Patton’s ear. Patton wouldn’t need Logan here, Patton wouldn’t want-

“L-Lo-Logan.” Oh god, it was so much worse when it was his name. It made Logan want to cry, it made Logan want to ball up his fists and beat the everliving crap out of whoever made Patton’s voice sound this choked up.

“Do you need anything, Patton?” Logan said quietly, he didn���t want to overstep his boundaries. He wanted to ask to hug him, he wanted to ask to hold him and never let him go. But he couldn’t. After all, Patton had Roman here, Patton wouldn’t need-

“I-um.” Patton looked up the tiniest bit at Roman and Roman nodded, a secret language of some kind and Logan felt the anger slip back in. Logan wasn’t mad at Roman, though. He, Virgil and Elle had something similar, and when Patton talks about Roman it’s like his talking about his talented younger brother so it wasn’t like he was jealous. He was mad that someone had reduced his Patton to someone so scared and unsure. “You?”

It was phrased like a question, but then Patton held one of his arms out, one of the only movements he had done in the past few minutes. He wanted to sprint towards it, but he approached it slowly not to scare Patton, and he tried not to make a noise when Patton’s hand and his met. Patton tugged on his hand and Logan felt himself fall onto the bed, ungracefully, before trying to quickly wrap his arms around Patton’s shoulders.

The door knocked again, and Roman got up, patting Logan’s back. “You got him, Logan?”

“Yes.” Logan wrapped his arms the tiniest bit tighter, but released it quickly as not to hurt Patton.

He was trying to think of comforting words or even think anything besides, Patton needs me. He closed his eyes, started breathing slowly to calm himself down as he rubbed the round of Patton’s shoulder. Patton listened to his breathing, soon falling into a rhythm with him and Logan’s mind cleared little by little. Patton was sad, he was warm from body heat but he was also cold from tears that were now all over Logan’s own shirt, not that he minded. And Patton needed him.

Logan looked down at Patton, trying to find any physical bruises that he might need aid attending to. There were thin lines of scratches around Patton’s wrists, which Logan wished he couldn’t say he expected it with the handcuffs attached to the headboard. But just past his hairline by his ear, Logan could barely see, was a mark thin and barely scraping blood, and Logan’s fingers went to it, tracing the curve of line wondering.

”Gag.” Patton answered his unspoken question, his voice sounding more like his own. Logan nodded, but Patton couldn’t really see that so he made a hum of acknowledgement a split second later. Patton had his face pressed against Logan’s right shoulder, but he was still turned outward so that his back was pressing up against Logan’s front. Logan wasn’t thinking about that feeling at all, that would be inappropriate.

Patton made another sound, and Logan placed his hands on the other’s shoulders to get Patton to face him. Patton had his lip in between his teeth, tear tracks on his cheeks and his eyes were looking up at Logan with a feeling he couldn’t discern. There was a question being asked that Logan didn’t know, and yet he felt like he knew the answer. He scooted backwards on the bed, letting his back hit the headboard, and pulling Patton softly until his body started to fall forward. Patton’s head landed in the middle of his chest, and his left arm wrapped around Logan’s hipline, but his right hand? His right hand was tucked under him, brushing against the front of Logan’s jeans. Logan definitely wasn’t thinking about that feeling, because that would be entirely inappropriate as well.

Patton could’ve said anything, or nothing at all, but as he took a breath that sounded way less hurt and tense than before, Logan could feel the outline of the smallest of smiles against his shirt. “Some second date, huh?”

Logan thought about telling him he didn’t need to cover up what he was feeling with a joke, but that might be too much for Patton right now.

“While I don’t appreciate the circumstances that got us here,” Logan took a breath, trying to keep his own temper at bay. “I am enjoying this moment with you, Patton.”

Logan felt something wet in the middle of his shirt. “I’m sorry.”

Patton was crying, oh god. Logan reached down, pulled the man up his body, so that he was centered around Logan’s neck rather than his chest, and he reached over to hold the side of Patton’s face. “I should be the sorry one, Patton, and I am. I’m not thinking clearly, I can’t say what I mean when I have this, anger, controlling my thoughts.”

“Anger?” Patton’s face was genuinely confused, and a little scared, when he lifted his head up to look at Logan. Logan slowly placed his other hand on the other side of Patton’s face, cupping his head gently.

“I’m angry at whoever did this to you, I’m angry at not being able to help you, I’m angry at being angry.” Logan lifted his arms not wanting to hold Patton with the unwarranted tension. He waited for Patton to shy away from him, but if anything he could feel him getting closer and closer-

Patton was kissing him. It was light and slow, and Logan felt relieved he hadn’t upset the man further. Logan was over the moon with a light peck, but as Patton sat up just a little more to gain leverage, Patton put more pressure into the kiss, slowly turning up the heat. Logan didn’t do much, not that he wasn’t enjoying it or didn’t want to do anything, he just seemed to like it more when Patton was the one in charge. Letting Patton’s tongue slip into his mouth, he made the tiniest of whines, ignoring the salty taste of tears on Patton’s lips.

Patton was moving on top of him, he couldn’t tell where because Patton’s teeth bit down on his lip and Logan moaned as he closed his eyes. But then Patton’s movements got slower and he pulled away to press their foreheads together, Logan taking the time to look at Patton straddling him. Oh boy.

The tear tracks couldn’t be seen over the blush on Patton’s face, but he did yawn, and then came down, forcing Logan’s legs apart as Patton’s lower half laid in between them. His face landed in the crook of Logan’s neck, and while Logan was still reeling, Patton made the tiniest noise of sleepiness.

“That was,” Logan forced a breath in. “Fast.”

Patton hummed in agreement and pressed his face the tiniest bit harder into Logan’s neck, making Logan wonder if maybe Patton could feel his-“Stay?”

Patton lifted his head, looking at him in a mixed state of hopeful drowsiness. His eyes were pleading, but slowly closing, and his lip was puckered but his eyebrows hung low near his eyes, as if he was too lazy to keep them up. Logan smiled slowly, watching as Patton reflected one, laying his head back down on the previous spot. “Of course.”

As Patton fell asleep Logan tried to focus on anything other than the stiffness in his jeans and the way Patton was breathing against his neck. His concentration fell to the voice from the door outside, recognizing, it was Roman.

“No, babe, I’m at work. Pat’s had a rough day so he needs me here. He’s my best-no. No, I wouldn’t rather date, I love- okay. Yes, I’ll get home soon. I’m sorry I made you upset. I love you too.”

The door opened and Roman came back into the room, his eyes were glistening, Logan could’ve played it off as shock but he knew it was tears. Roman walked over to the bed, smiling as his eyes scanned over them, but before he could saying anything Patton shifted, his hand pushing against Logan’s jeans and he used him to keep himself up as he tossed, and Logan hissed, throwing his head lightly and quietly as he could against the headboard.

“Enjoying yourself, specs?” Roman asked, reaching over to take Logan’s glasses off of him, and set them down on the stand next to Patton’s.

“I-” Roman really didn’t want to know.

“I’ve got to run, once he wakes up, call me. I don’t know if I’ll be available to answer, but I’d appreciate the voicemail. Also, try to get him home soon, he needs the rest and somebody’s got to let Thomas in.”

“Roman.” Logan said, nodding along with the instructions but not being able to take his gaze off the tears at the taller man’s eyes. “Are you okay? You’ve been crying.”

“Just take care of Patton, teach. I’ll be fine.” Roman said, patting Logan’s head before leaving the room. He got dressed silently, didn’t even bother to speak in his head, and as he waited for the bus he felt a cold shiver run through him. Here we go again.

Thomas tried not to lift his head from his chest, staring down at his 3DS as he defeated another trainer with a bored sigh. The newer games didn’t feel as challenging as the older ones that his Dad had given him, but he didn’t like to bring them to school because they were fragile. He was trying to hide his boredom, it was itching underneath his hoodie, and when he feels a pressure sinking into the seat next to him, the boredom quickly turned to fear.

“Sanders.” The voice was deeper than his own, and he considers bashing his own head on the window next to him.

He didn’t speak, he turned to look at who sat down, even though he already knew. Dean Ralph, the school’s certified popular kid, with a wicked smirk across his face. Dean reached over, closing the top of Thomas’s 3DS. “Put it away or we break it too.”

Thomas reached behind him and placed the system in his backpack, catching a glimpse of the Fredonia St bus stop outside the window. They waited for the last sixth grader to get off the bus at the Fredonia St stop before Dean and his buddies started. The girl there was nice and once and a while would tell them off. Thomas was grateful for those days.

When the bus finally reached Thomas’s stop, nobody had noticed what had happened. That’s because Thomas and Dean had almost an unspoken rule, if Thomas made no noise, then it would be short and sweet. If Thomas even whimpered, it wouldn’t end until the bus had pulled up to his stop.

“See ya tomorrow.” Dean laughed, light and empty of the maliciousness he had just beaten Thomas’s face to a pulp with.

Thomas grumbled as his lip ached, and when he reached his door, ready to run to his room, he surprisingly found resistance. The door was locked?

When Patton opened his eyes he didn’t notice that he was in his bedroom, he didn’t notice that his shoes had been taken off and neatly placed up against the end of the bed, he didn’t notice that he was only in a long sweater that wasn’t his and his work boxers. He noticed Logan, turned away from him, looking out the window of Patton’s bedroom, even though the blinds were closed. Patton noticed the sunshine hitting Logan’s front that he couldn’t see, and surrounding his back with little flakes of yellow against the light blue button up he had on.

“Good morning.” Patton grumbled holding his hand out near the taller man. When he didn’t reply, Patton shifted on his bed and the movement must of caught Logan’s attention because then those striking grey eyes were on Patton and oh, that did things to him.

“Patton, how are you?” Logan asked, moving closer to him as Patton sat up, his back against the headboard.

Patton moved his hand, letting it brush against Logan’s jeans right by the other man’s knee, and bring it to his own face. Patton rubbed his eye with knuckle on his index finger, making the smallest of sleepy whines that definitely did not make Logan shift his footing. Patton moved his feet to hang over the side of the bed as the events of earlier came flooding back to him.

Patton’s screaming, Gage running in and pulling the man away in handcuffs. He tried to shake the thoughts away and remember Logan and Roman rushing in, Logan carrying him in his arms and placing him in his car softly, even the faint feeling of Logan covering Patton in his much larger (because he was taller) grey sweater.

He felt his energy slipping from him already, and tears pricking at the side of his face as he tried to stand up and get away from Logan. The man didn’t deserve to see him like this, didn’t have to take care of him, and he certainly didn’t need to catch Patton in his arms as he failed to gain his balance.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Logan whispered, voice flooded with some kind of emotion that the man himself couldn’t comprehend. He, well, felt something for Patton in the past couple of hours. Holding the man while he cried, putting him to bed, and then watching over him while he slept, it made him, protective.

Patton should move, his whole weight was resting on Logan’s arms and they were only a foot away from his bed. But he didn’t want to. Patton rested his head in the place between Logan’s neck and his shoulder, and grumbled something, feeling the taller man under him shiver. Patton moved, turning his head so his lips were facing Logan’s neck as Logan lifted him up so he was holding Patton up by his arms around his waist. Patton grumbled again. “Tired.”

“Well this is just too precious to process.” Logan said, tightening his arms around Patton’s waist to pull him a little bit closer. Logan told himself it was to make sure Patton didn’t fall, but that was a lie.

“M’sorry.” Patton sniffled, at the same time Logan felt something cold against his neck. Patton was crying. Again. Oh god, Logan had hurt him or he didn’t like being called-“M’sorry I’m cried on you.”

“Patton, don’t be sorry.” Logan turned his head to press a kiss to the other man’s hair. He tried to ignore the way it smelled like vanilla cookies. Patton’s arms came around his waist, finally awake enough to be able to hold himself up, and Logan leaned forward a little to push Patton’s weight on his feet. Patton must of mistook the motion for Logan pushing him away, so when Logan felt him move his head off his shoulder, he pulled the man flush against him once more. “Don’t leave just yet.”

Logan felt Patton smile against the upper part of his neck now, and softly, the older man pressed the lightest of kisses there. Logan shouldn’t have gotten worked up over it, but suddenly he felt his jeans get tighter and a small noise escape his lips. Patton’s smile closed against his neck and Logan almost considered that it was a mistake until Patton did it again. But at the same time he let out another one of those whines, Patton let out a frustrated noise, letting go of Logan to point behind him.

“School bus.” Patton’s frustrated groan turned to a whine towards the end of his statement, but as he walked away, Logan grabbed his arm.

“I got it.” Logan said, pulling Patton close to press a kiss to his lips, but a knock at the door pulled them apart before it could get exciting. Patton dramatically fell backwards against the bed as he listened to the rushed sound of Logan’s socks against his hardwood floor.

Thomas listened as the door unlocked, Dad probably just forgot, he tried not to ignore the ache in his chest that thought gave. His Dad never forgot anything, Thomas reminded himself, once and a while it was okay. As the door opened and he pulled his hood over the top of his face, Thomas tried hard not to think how bad of a son he was. Kids wanting to beat him up at school, expecting his dad to do everything for him, lying to his dad, trying pushing past his dad as he kept his gaze on the man’s white socks.

White socks? His dad never wore white socks. They were always silly, or fun as his dad would say, and most of the time mismatched. He also never wore jeans. Thomas tried to move around the man again, still keeping his gaze on the floor, but the man moved with him causing Thomas to run into a chest that was hard and most definitely not his dad’s soft and welcoming chest where Thomas could hear his heartbeat when he had a nightmare.

“Thomas, are you okay?” That was not his dad’s voice, his mind screamed, and he moved backwards, his shoulder blades hitting the edge of the door that was still open.

“Dad!” Thomas screamed as hard as he could, ignoring the pain in his back as he reached backwards to push the door closed and fell over onto the ground.

“Thomas?” His dad shouted back and he heard movement, but Thomas still didn’t look up. This man had broken into their home, had his dad tied up or something, was gonna kill them or take their money or-

Soft. Warm. Dad. “Thomas, kiddo, I’m right here. You’re okay.”

Thomas pushed his head forward just to make sure. Soft, warm, heartbeat. Dad. Thomas wrapped his arms around his dad’s waist, turning his head so maybe he wouldn’t see his face, but Thomas could still hear his heartbeat. It calmed him, and soon, Thomas was able to pull away. He could go to his room and everything would be fine.

“Patton.” The other voice was serious, quiet, but now it wasn’t cold or scary. “Look at his face.”

No, no, no, no, no, no-

“Oh my god.” Patton said as he lifted Thomas’s face into his view. Thomas’s light brown eyes were filled with tears, some of them had dripped down his face just past his black under-eyes, and they mixed with blood at his lip and his cheek. “Logan did-”

“No.” Thomas’s own voice was rougher than he had ever heard it. Thomas didn’t know who this Logan was and why he was in Thomas’s house but he certainly didn’t want the man to take the blame for Thomas. “Wasn’t him.”

“Thomas.” No kiddo, no buddy, no pallarino. “Who did this to you?”

“Dean. At school.” Thomas’s fragmented sentences and his father’s serious tone were increasing the tension in the room and the stran-Logan stepped forward.

“Thomas. I’m Logan, a friend of your father’s. Nice to meet you.” Both Thomas and Patton were confused by the broken moment. His father looked a little miffed, Thomas felt a little relieved, and as Thomas took Logan’s outstretched hand the man helped him up off the floor.

“You should get cleaned up.” Patton said, still a little confused, but now was more drained than earlier and Logan could tell. Thomas nodded, running towards the bathroom, not even looking back at them as the door slammed shut.

Meanwhile, Patton looked up at Logan. Logan was expecting him to be mad at intervening, maybe kick him out-

Something hard hit his chest, arms wrapped around his waist, and something wet started to puddle at the second button of his shirt. “Thank you.”

As Logan listened to the sound of the sink turn on in the other room and felt Patton’s light shaking against his chest, he felt another overwhelming feeling take over every inch of his body. To help.

lemme know if you want to be on the tag list @jesjessode

[ascreamingstrawberry]

In the Middle

Summary:  Dodie loved both of them, she just wanted them to love each other. 

Notes: I just really like this song, ‘In the Middle’ by Dodie, and love me some Thomas x Jon. I’m not sure how much of this is OOC but lemme know if it is. I’ll try better next time. 

Word count: 2,081

Pairings: Jon Cozart x Thomas Sanders, Dodie x OC, Joan x Talyn, Not sure about the others 

Warnings: (not sure how to do these yet so bare with me.) I don’t think there’s any, but if there is please mention it to me and I’ll put it in. 

Part 1

“Ugh.” Dodie looked in the mirror, flipping her hair into the same place it had been five minutes ago, and seven minutes ago, and nine-well you get the picture.

“I feel that.” Came the voice of her roommate, as he laid back against the headboard of her bed, only really half paying attention to her as he swiped through boy upon boy on his phone.

Thomas’s own hair was a mess, sticking up in every direction. But as she turned around to frown at her own hair’s lack of cooperation, Dodie couldn’t help but smile at him. He looked so adorable sat there with his legs crossed over one another, no shoes on so his toes pushed part of her comforter away as his feet moved. Thomas never could sit still. She sighed, giving up in defeat, before joining him on the bed and pressing her face against the middle of his chest. It was so much as cuddling, which they did quite often, as it was rubbing her face against him like a cat for attention.

“Oh my god.” Thomas whispered, his mouth hanging open a little bit after the end of his sentence. His fingers moved across screen a little bit faster now, and Dodie cocked her head up to see what he was looking at.

“Anyone good?” Dodie didn’t use Tinder like Thomas did. She only ever opened the app late at night when she was bored and Thomas was asleep, but Thomas used it when he was romantically lonely. Which despite both of their efforts, was quite often.

“He’s gorgeous.” Thomas turned the phone so she could see, and Dodie had to bite back a laugh at how the world worked. The boy on the screen definitely wasn’t Thomas’s usual, or at least what Dodie would’ve guessed was his usual. Dodie couldn’t not recognize those blue eyes that contrasted so beautifully against his light blonde hair. His smirk reflected what Dodie remembered of his attitude. When she snagged the phone from Thomas, she definitely didn’t miss his little whimper of disappointment that he tried to hide. “Aw heck, where you going with that?”

“I know him!” Dodie started jumping. He was perfect for Thomas. Why hadn’t she thought about it before?

“What?” Thomas scattered off the bed after her as she trailed into the living room to pull her phone off the charger. She ignored the anxious brushing of his thumbs against each other and met the nervous lip bite of his with a waving of her phone in his face. Dodie still kept his phone in her other hand though.“What are you doing?”

“Calling him, of course.” Dodie shook her head, honestly he should’ve connected the dots. Thomas screeched and reached over to pull the phone out of her hand, pressing the ‘end call’ button.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Thomas’s voice was unusually high as he held Dodie’s phone close to his chest, his breathing irregular. Her expression softened to one of worry and reached out to comfortingly dance her fingers upon his arm. Thomas closed his eyes at the feeling, Dodie could tell he was doing his 4-7-8s.

“Are you okay?” Dodie asked, and Thomas nodded, though his face looked significantly more solemn than before as they traded back phones.

“We haven’t even matched, Dodes.” Dodie’s fingertips were still resting by Thomas’s elbow. She slid them down to wrap them around his wrist and tugged, pulling him toward the couch. As he sat down, an amused smile breaching his face, she laid her head in his lap and kicked her feet up onto the arm of the couch.

“But trust me Tomcat-” She ignored the shared wince they had at the old nickname. “He’s perfect for you.”

“You don’t know that.” Thomas reached down, twirling one of her dark curls around his finger and lifting to inspect it for nothing.

“Puh-lease. He loves Disney, and singing, and acting and everything you-” Dodie begun listing things, even going so far as to count off her fingers.

“That’s not all that’s important to me.” Thomas interrupted.

“Of course it’s not Tomothy, but how long have we known each other?” Dodie turned around in his lap, giggling when he groaned as soon as she leaned her head on her elbows that were digging into his thigh.

“More than a decade.” He pushed her elbows off him as he spoke through pain induced gritted teeth, laughing in response when her chin plomped down onto his thigh.

“More than a decade.” She repeated. Then she held out her hand, but Thomas challenged her with a raised eyebrow. “Do you trust me?”

He groaned, plopping his phone back into her hand, which still had the boy’s picture up. Dodie starred her best friend in the whole world down as she pressed the little red heart in the right corner of the screen, screaming on the inside in excitement as ‘It’s a Match’ popped up in place of the boy’s profile. She handed Thomas’s phone back to him. “Told you.”

She climbed off the couch, walking over to where her brown coat was hanging off the lounge chair. It was May, it should’ve been warmer in LA, but it wasn’t. Dodie liked the cold anyway though.

“Where are you going?” Thomas hopped the couch, the blush on his cheeks evident that she needed go now.  

“Talyn and Joan are coming over for dinner aren’t they?” She asked and Thomas nodded, still confused. “We need food to feed them.”

“Right!” Thomas jumped up. “Want me to come with?”

“No.” She pointed her finger at him and then let it fall to her side. “You need to text Jon.”

“Jon?” Thomas asked, and nodded shyly when Dodie motioned toward his phone. She shook her head affectionately, rushed over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading out the door with a rushed ‘love you, see you’

And as soon as she was out the door, her phone was to her ear and Jon was picking up the other line.

“Jonathan’s crematorium, you kill em, we grill em how may I help you?” His voice sounded sleepy despite it being almost 3 in the afternoon. She giggled, and heard him do his little scoff-laugh in response.

“Jon, I have a date.” Dodie spilled before she could think of a good way to say hello.

“It’s not with me, right? I thought we weren’t doing that anymore.” Jon was being funny, Dodie knew that, but she couldn’t help but focus on the truth behind that. It had been a couple months since they’d been forever off in their on-and-off escapades, but she could tell from his social media he had not found someone else. This would be good for him. For both of them.

“No, you and I are not going on a date.” She replied. “But you are.”

“With who?” Jon didn’t even sound surprised, just exhausted with her. Or maybe he was just exhausted in general.

“The tinder match you just made with the pretty brown eyes.” Dodie smirked to herself as she started walking to the store. People watched her skip as she passed, but she paid them no mind as she heard Jon whisper to himself and then clear his throat to continue speaking.

“How do you know about that?” His voice was a little high and Dodie imagined a blush across his face. Perfect.

“That’s my friend Thomas, and you two are gonna go on a date because you’re both horribly single and wonderful enough to deserve each other.” Dodie held her arm out as the automatic doors of the nearby grocery store opened, and she heard a small child gasp in awe behind her.

Life was wonderful in moments like these, she thought to herself, making a child smile while talking to an old friend, a row of frozen pizzas staring back at her. Talyn and Joan expected nothing less from them, to be honest.

“Wait Thomas? Best friend, platonic soulmate Thomas? The guy you’d kill literally anyone for?” Jon’s voice was even higher.

“That’s the one.” Dodie replied, cheerfully. She’d be lying if she didn’t let her imagination get the best of her. Jon and Thomas holding the tips of their pinky tips around the other’s, ice creams in their other hands as they walked through LA, commenting on the people they passed. It made her heart swell in a way that she liked.

“Dodie, I’d prefer you not have to kill me.” Jon’s voice went serious, despite the joke coming out of his mouth.

“Jon.” Dodie warned, taking her pizza to the cashier.

“Dodie.” She heard the faint sound of sink turning on. “You want me, a soulless monster of an introvert, to go on a date with your, and I quote, perfect pure bean?” Jon asked.

“Of course!” Dodie checked out, and stopped just outside the front doors of the store. “Jon, I’m serious. You two would complement each other well, and you both need some extra love in your lives.”

“What if…” Jon trailed off, the choked off sounds of him sloshing toothpaste around his mouth violating Dodie’s ear.

“Does Tuesday work for you?” Dodie asked.

“Yes.” Jon replied after sometimes, definitely sounding very enthusiastic and not at all begrudged. Dodie said her goodbyes, with promises to catch up on Tuesday after his date.

Meanwhile Thomas had been freaking out over the three little dots signaling this Jon was typing out a message. But in the whole 10 minutes Dodie’s been gone, which was surprisingly long considering it was only about a 5 minute walk from the grocery store anyway, Thomas had only sent one message. To be fair it had taken him 2 of those minutes to figure out the perfect message, decided on a ‘hey!’. But the rest of those minutes had been Jon typing, untyping, and typing again.

jon : thank god you messaged first. you’re so attractive, i didn’t know what to say.

Thomas set the phone down and took a moment to respond accordingly. In Thomas’s mind that meant waving his arms as if he was trying to dispel something from his body, before taking a cleansing breath and picking up his phone again.

thomas : Never fear my good sir, I took careful calculations to come up with the most charming opening line for wooing.

jon : consider me woo-ed

“You have a date with Jon on Tuesday.” Dodie said, storming through their front door. Well less storming and more like loudly exclaiming while she softly shut the door as to not jar the hinges.

jon : it appears we have a date on tuesday

“Dodie!” Thomas didn’t know whether or not his nervousness conveyed the right emotion. He was happy and mad at her for meddling. He was glad she was taking initiative, but did it have to be with his love life?

thomas : It appears we do.

thomas : I am looking forward to it. :)

jon : as am i ;)

jon : sorry i don’t know why i did that

jon : i’m like nervous as hell fair warning

thomas : So am I! I’m so relieved!

thomas : That we’re feeling similar about the situation not about you being nervous.

thomas : I wouldn’t want you to feel nervous around me.

Thomas had fully intended to walk into the living room demanding Dodie tell him how she acquired this date when Joan swung open the door with a ‘what’s up you beautiful fuckers’, Talyn behind them.

“Hello to you too Joan.” Dodie laughed, and Thomas turned his attention back to his phone, dropping the conversation for now.

jon : at the moment i do, but not like a bad nervous

jon : like a what if he hates me nervous

thomas : It seems very difficult for me to hate you when you’re so cute.

jon : stop no my self deprecating image

Thomas giggled and heads in the room turned to look at him.

“Who you texting?” Joan asked, Talyn’s hand dragging them along to the island seats Thomas and Dodie had in the kitchen.

“A boy.” Dodie answered wistfully and Thomas groaned, but still kept Jon’s messages up on his phone as he turned it off and set it in the pockets of his shorts. Dodie noticed the smile that stayed on his face even as he looked away from the phone, and she giggled to herself as she put the pizza onto the sheet and into the oven. She could get into this.

Oh! and @romanasanders asked to be tagged so here you are!

[cozysafechaotic]

Resharing because I can.

Plus there seem to be quite a few people who just need a reminder that their loved and cared about and not being "okay" is okay.

Okay

So, I wrote this fic back in February, and I don’t think LJ’s taglist existed back then…. and if it did, I was definitely not confident enough to use it… but… I’m proud of this… and I want others to read it. So, without further waffling… Here is Hot Chocolate, Disney Movies and Blanket Forts. (Click the title to be taken to Ao3)

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