#anyways thanks for reading my little rant

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

thank you for the understanding. i apologise if i appear as a “burden” (for this community, for whatever reason it may be) but if this is a civilised discussion then i need to get this off my chest

obviously i went on a streak of attempting to revile a lot of different pages/accounts on here. i assume some people noticed (i have dozens of asks since yesterday). it’s not the first time, i did it once over a month ago; albeit not as thoroughly as right now.

i have been met with a fair amount of genuine concern and empathy since, and at this point i feel bad for it again. it was only because i reached a point where i thought i would be better off with burning bridges with my own account as so i wouldn’t be welcomed here/whatever else. i’m tired of attempting to move on and failing because i just can’t seem to

but anyway. sorry for ranting (although this may be a rant) i think this is more relevant

i have a brief idea of my own position on this kind of thing, so i’m going to explain as simple as i can. i want to be an animal. probably my entire life it’s been something that i’ve “had” even if i didn’t realise that until recently. it was probably the one constant that shaped me as an individual when i was a little younger. it’s only ~RECENTLY that it’s progressively became a lot stronger as a desire. it’s put me in a situation where i have a lot of strong emotions about a lot of things

so i don’t TRY to be hateful to this community but it becomes overpowering sometimes and i can’t help it, even if i should.

there’s a notion that i come across often, that i’m “repressed”, or “in denial” or anything along those lines. i’ve had it been said to me by people that are probably genuinely important within this community/people that i happen to “look up to” as furries. it feeds into my own disdain for these spaces. let me explain. i don’t think i’m in denial, i don’t feel like it. i genuinely WISH i was in denial. the idea that i’m “denying myself” implies that i “am” a fox or whatever else. yet it only angers me because i would be better off i was in denial with myself. i don’t think i am.

it could come off as “not wanting to be those things”. but i likely say a lot of stuff that could be interpreted strangely. it is in my own nature to want to be an animal, so i would TAKE anything to get me closer to that, no matter how small (that doesn’t mean i would settle on it). I FIND IT HARD to accept this community as things are simply, because the idea that one can “be an animal” and i’m human feels like a punch to the gut. i was afraid of ever typing that out because i’m afraid it sounds immature, but it doesn’t come from a place of immaturity any more than anything else.

because when you start describing “nonhuman/s/etc. as “literally animals” then for me, the thought of wanting to be an animal comes into play. i yearn to be a PHYSICAL animal yet i would give almost just as much to be closer to it in any other regard. it’s only the stigma that i’ve built around “nonhumanity” that stray me from “wanting” to be it. (alongside just; not being one anyway.)

being told to accept myself hurts, because it implies that there is something to accept; or a prospect of getting closer to the concept of being something else. yet i can’t FIND it. i would jump at the first glimpse of that opportunity, as i have been trying to, but i can’t understand it.

i was called a fox in one of the asks, and (i’m sorry to get vulnerable, not as if i haven’t already) a tear literally ran down my face. i’m hardly an emotional person like that. i said not to call me anything like that, and i’m pretty sure they sent another apologising “i’m sorry for assuming what to call you” and i’m not going to lie. reading that felt like having my own guts emptied out. the point is, it’s my fault

ANYWAY. that was a lot of words. i’m sorry for dumping all of this onto here. but i hope that made it clear what i mean/am saying. once again, i don’t think i necessarily deserve forgiveness of any kind despite this. sorry. i hope i didn’t misinterpret anything, thank you for giving me a chance to discuss this and i hope this was coherent.

i don’t think my words hold much value to people like you, and i don’t think you would be willing to listen or take it to heart, but it’s still worth trying. i would like you to realise that you are human in every way. you are not an animal, you are not a dragon. (you probably already know this. maybe you’re in denial. i don’t know) either way, none of you would actually be willing to give it even a second of thought because you’re insecure about yourself, and you’re insecure because you know you’re human. i assure you that you will not reach full personal contentment until you live out your life without pretending to be a mythical creature. wtv have a good day

Ooh, I haven’t gotten one of these asks in a few years.

So I ask this, and every other question I will follow up with, completely genuinely, and if you’re willing to really get into the weeds discussing it I’d love to do so (though I’ll probably reblog any follow-ups to my other blog): why do you think you know me and my experiences better than I do?

Why do you think you can armchair diagnose me with insecurity? What evidence do you actually have for that, besides the fact that I’m nonhuman? What evidence do you have that I’m not already content and fulfilled in my life?

Is it possible that identifying as nonhuman is unrelated to those things entirely, and you’re making a false assumption?

I get it. It looks crazy, when you’re completely new to the concept. It’s weird - it is! But pause and listen to us when we talk about our experiences for a moment.

For many of us, myself included, finding nonhumanity is a moment of suddenly understanding - of pieces falling into place, of my life experiences suddenly making sense. Awakening is something that made me more content and fulfilled, not less - there’s a sadness in it sometimes, yes, but so too is there the comfort of understanding yourself in a new way, of realizing, oh. I’m not just weird. There’s not something wrong with me. There are other people like me.

(If this sounds a lot like the experience of figuring out you’re queer, there’s a reason for that.)

To use myself as an example of the flaws in your hypothesis: there’s… honestly not much dissatisfaction with my life right now. I’ve got a stable job with decent income. I’d like to be able to cut back my hours a bit, but that will come in time. I’ve got enough free time as it is to do my art and play my tabletop games with friends in my off time. I’ve got family and friends around me. Sure, I miss my wings, but I’m hoping to pick up powered paragliding in the near future and hoping that’ll scratch that itch at least somewhat. I’m doing pretty well, honestly. This isn’t the case for all otherkin, but it’s not the case for all orthohumans (people who aren’t alterhuman in any way) either. What it does indicate, however, is that your hypothesis that being otherkin inherently means you’re insecure and unhappy with your life is false, or at minimum flawed - if it were true, I wouldn’t exist.

So, I ask again: why do you think you understand my own experiences better than I do? And moreover, why does it bother you so much that I am the way I am?

The name for the thing you’re doing here, intentionally or not, is concern trolling - trying to push me out of an identity by professing concern for problems that don’t exist. Why? Why are you going out of your way to tell other people they’re wrong about their own identity? Why is your reaction, when you see an identity you don’t understand, to decide it’s unhealthy, or just make-believe, or whatever, and then to make that the problem of the people who identify that way? What exactly makes you think this is inherently unhealthy?

Would it not be better to devote that energy to trying to understand us, instead of trying to change us?

You don’t have to answer these questions to me, obviously, but I do encourage you to answer them to yourself at least. Pick apart your worldview for a minute and see if it actually holds up under scrutiny - it’s good for you, and mental enrichment to boot! If you are willing to really get into the weeds of this discussion with me, again, I’d love to do that - I love having discussions like this, and it’s good for me to have my worldview challenged every so often too! Please, genuinely, pick at the flaws in my logic if you see them - if it can be pulled apart under scrutiny, it needs to be pulled apart and rebuilt. No one on the internet is obligated to let a stranger do that, obviously, but personally I enjoy it - it’s a meat pumpkin for me - so let’s talk, if you’re up for it. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve gotten a good interesting antikin to debate with.

[imelht]

Happy New Year Everybody!!

I may have not been on this site for too long, but I’ve made acquaintances with so many people who share the same passion as me, and I’ve made so many amazing friends. I always look forward to seeing those who I admire’s awesome art everyday, and I hope that they continue to grow. I really look forward to meeting new people and making new friends this year. Thank you all for sticking with me, even through my art block lol.

With that being said, I wish you all, again, a Happy New Year!

See ya on the flip-side!

[flumpermergen]

Okay I’ve been wanting to rant about this for a while and I feel like now is the best time to do so after this um… very galpal trailer came out lmao.

But I’ve always found it so stupid when people in the community act as if hoyo would never put any queer coding/queer characters in their games because “they’re a Chinese company so that makes them homophobic (or something); stop trying to spread your agenda!!!!! Not everything has to be queer!!! 🤬" People INSIST that others are just “reading into things too much”.

And listen, I don’t think that any ships or headcannons of mine are actually canon in game and obviously you don’t have to ship characters or think they’re queer that’s totally up to you.

But saying hoyo would NEVER queer code is objectively false. Like, please I’m begging you to look into the HI3 lore/story for just two seconds. There’s even a canonical kiss between Seele and Bronya. They have been creating queer characters for years. I mean come on, you can’t watch that hsr trailer and look me in the eyes claiming they’re dancing in a friendly way lmao.

Yes, there is a lot of censorship from the CCP but censorship is the reason why queer coding exists in the first place. I mean the kiss that I talked about prior I believe is censored in the Chinese release, but the fact that hoyo even tried to include it in the first place is hella commendable and shows that they want to include queer characters in their stories.

That being said, I do think there is a conversation to be held critiquing hoyo when it relates to queer characters such as how a lot of queer coding hoyoverse does is fanservice. I mean hey, companies will be companies and at the end of the day hoyo is trying to sell us a product to get more sweet sweet money. Hoyo isn’t blind; they know when two characters are commonly paired together. Sometimes they play into this to make people more inclined to pull on banners. Black Swan and Acheron are good examples (exhibit a is up above lmao).

I know I’m preaching to the choir here considering Tumblr is not the place most bigots flock to. However, my point in all of this is just to let people interact with media in the way they want to and stop calling queer people delusional when we call out obvious queer undertones in characters. Again, you don’t have to believe said undertones or think any of this is canon, but don’t put queer people down for wanting to see ourselves represented in media.

TLDR: Hoyo is a company known for queer coding and bigots need to let people live.

[riiviir]

hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!

[the-busy-ghost]

Me normally: Let people love what they love

Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE

[chocmuffinsscones]

Kacchan is actually so, so loved.

His mom is right, he's a brat cuz he quickly got over his head when he was constantly praised by people around him. His parents must've love him so much with how well he physically is - healthy, clean, unbruised. Probably not a popular opinion but I think his mom treating him aggressively is a way to tone him down, to remind him of manners that he might've slipped from being too pompous. And also, it's an asian thing, ESPECIALLY in Japan where senpai-kouhai/elderly hierarchy is strongly regarded.

Still, Katsuki always demands attention like he doesn't have enough of it. He used to aim for being no.1 to gain attention where it'll feed his ego. Even with his obnoxious behaviour, he always had a pass cuz he IS talented, smart and very gifted. People allowed his atrocity cuz they believe he can still contribute to the hero society.

But Katsuki has a way to seek love that he truly yearns and needs. Maybe it's another gifted kid syndrome or an instinctual thing, that he could feel he is so loved in a way he was not expecting. The people who only sees him on the surface aside, Katsuki was constantly showered under the kind of love that is very forgiving, patient, and positive of his coming around. Aizawa, kirishima, his parents, AM, Izuku...

Aizawa and AM regard Katsuki in a similar fashion as his parents did, acting as a guidance that sometimes switching between being strict or encouraging. Kirishima was slightly special because he was the first one to accept his foul personality and would still praise and be amazed by his ability. To me, Katsuki must've value the gratification of someone acknowledging his entirety and would still respect him as well as give him fuel to his ego. Kirishima is passionate of integrity and righteousness. He's quite open-minded and is pretty forgiving, thus forming a suitable concoction of personalities that matches Katsuki's kind of "love" he grew accustomed to.

However, if it all comes to that preferences, why did he reject Izuku's "love" when kirishima's worked but not his? To be fair, Izuku's "love" for Katsuki is pretty much similar as to his parents' as well as kirishima's. But since the river incident, Katsuki's young mind has decided to antagonised that alien kind of love which he was going to get used to (from his parents) anyway. Because receiving that sort of acceptance and appreciation from a child his age kinda oppose the idea of him being special. Little Katsuki was building up a reputation of being the best and the most unique kid in the neighborhood , if he acknowledged Izuku's recognition of his "front", it would meant he wasn't really that special after all. Little Katsuki couldn't have that, and so it brought forward to their entire childhood until UA, rejecting that obvious, his preferred type of "love" that he labeled as disgusting due to their antagonistic relationship.

That's why after dvk2, when Katsuki has finally confronted that impulsive naivety he held onto, he became unconsciously openly seek out Izuku's "love" to him. He loves being seen and appreciated the right way, the way that reminds him of his humanity, that keeps him grounded, that asks his self-awareness of his capabilities and therefore pushes him becoming better every time. Izuku was different from Kirishima because Katsuki had never level himself with him the way he did with Izuku - notwithstanding the whole rivalry on win to save, save to win thing. Also, the simple fact that their familiarity of one another's traits are what keeping them tightly enveloped in an indissoluble bubble of intimacy.

Katsuki demands attention like a brat. He craves attention and love from where he seeks. As prefaced, he has preferences and that he categorised them. It's interesting though that due to his immature obstinacy, he had created a situation where he is now forcing himself in a state of overcompensation towards Izuku's year's worth of "love" towards him. (He knew he was truly at fault, and he knew Izuku still accepts him nonetheless (i.e dvk2), but the way he tried to keep a distance between them to maintain their norm is, in actuality, not normal. Counting in the fact that at the same time he still craves Izuku's "love" when he self-inserted as the one to pull the leash.

Tsk tsk, Katsuki truly is a child raised by love.

[pprodsuga]

(i'm the same anon that just sent an ask abt tides of regret hehe) i needed to send this in a second one cause i felt like it was too long lol. your sense of empathy is SEEPING through the words. i get the feeling that you have just have a good heart, idk :) your characters are so mature and thoughtful and also empathetic and it's so refreshing. i suppose i envy them a bit :')

this is singlehandedly the kindest thing a stranger has ever said to me…i’ve been reflecting a lot about the friendships i maintain and these past few weeks felt like a test, of sorts. reading this restored a lot of confidence i had in myself and i’m incredibly humbled and thankful that you think this of me.

there’s always a part of me in every story and every character i write. i’m so happy to know the enha i wrote resonated with you. empathy is such a fickle thing and i’m under the impression that i’ll always try to be the best person i can be by doing what’s right and good. i believe you can be that way too, if you wish.

you are so beautiful. know that.

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[princekirijo]

Here's a random question that popped into my head: How does Riku regard Minato/Minako? Since Mitsuru and Yukari probably have photos of them in photo albums, Riku probably saw them, got curious and asked about them. How much would Mitsuru and Yukari tell him about them and how would Riku react?

Well thank you I love random questions :3

OK so two things.

1. Everything I say is subject to change here. I actually feel like this should be in my blog bio LMAO I am forever changing bits and pieces of Captain's lore and story. I have accepted that this is just part of the creative process and I want to put time into this silly AU so uh yeah. Take everything I say with a pinch of salt.

2. The actual answer:

Well... They're actually both alive for this AU 😸 In Captain Minato and Kotone (my preferred names for them) are twins (surname Arisato) and as I said they are both alive and well :] I still haven't really thought of an explanation as to WHY its just the twins surviving the Great Seal is kind of a guilty pleasure of mine in Persona fics so i decided to include it here :]

Persona Protagonists are interesting for me because each of them have their own established personality but I do think there's a bit of room to throw in your own interpretation too! Particularly because of having the multiple dialogue options. At least that's how I personally do things. Because of this, I do find it difficult to nail down exactly how I would incorporate them both into the AU, and subsequently their relationship with Riku (I'll admit this is actually true for a lot of SEES hence why I barely mention it).

However I think I can at least say this - Riku definitely looks up to both of them as really cool figures in his life, he admires their natural leadership skills for one. The three of them have something in common - each of them are really good at masking how they're actually feeling - Minato has his "I don't care attitude", Kotone has this cheerful polite persona (which is also very much a mask) and Riku has his whole bravado look at me thing going on. And the former two are very very good at seeing past the latter's BS LOL.

As for how much Riku actually knows, he does know a fair bit of what happened during the events of P3. Just not the whole death living inside Kotone/Minato + them somewhat dying to seal away Nyx thing. Yeah that's a story he isn't gonna understand for a WHILE (unless you wanna count CATT AU)

[cat-of-starlight]

tfw you are trying to Limbus Pull but the game's only Bonus Units™ are the ones that freak you out/irritate you lmao whoops

[lonesome-pear]

So I saw a video about the epic of Gilgamesh, saying that it contains the phrase in those distant days. Well, I thought that could be a good theme for a poem so I decided to write one. I turned on some Minecraft music (not sure why but it ended up working out) and got writing. It ended up being about missing the past. I kind of wanted to share it so here it is

In those days, those distant days

I would sit there for hours, placing things in new ways

Stuck in a creative haze, in those distant days

In those distant days, I would be with friends

People I loved, people I no longer know

Sitting in the basement, by a warm fire glow

In those distant days, I would find a new thing

Something that was little, but also somehow big

A planet of sorts, where it seemed like I had wings

Flying through the memories of those distant days

In those distant days, I had childlike wonder

Before all I knew was torn asunder

Little me, scared of thunder, was comforted in the moments of those distant days

How I miss those distant days, where there was joy and whimsy

A time where memories made were of good quality

But I cant go back to those distant days

I must relive them in different ways

Find whimsy with new people, in new places

Find joy in new games, with new faces

But I will enjoy this days now

The present can be pleasant anyhow

But even when it's not, I keep going somehow

Those distant days are far away

But I carry on, I find a way

Because I might be looking towards them, those distant days

[allonsybadwolf]

One of my biggest pet peeves is people calling headaches migraines. Like I understand that headaches are really annoying and can be very painful, I get it, I have normal headaches too, but they are NOTHING. NOTHING. next to a migraine. My worst of the worst headache is a walk in the park compared to my migraines.

And I'm not gatekeeping anybody here. If someone tells me they have a migraine, yes, I believe you, I will respect that information and act accordingly.

But, as a migraine sufferer, when some people are talking about "migraines" in general, you can just tell. They're talking about headaches. THAT'S A HEADACHE.

And I really don't want to sound like I'm minimizing people who suffer from headaches because that sucks and I feel for them, it's just about using the correct words. You wouldn't say you broke your arm if you burned it while cooking. They're different things. They require different treatment.

AHHHHHHHHHHH

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 252

Adjective: Brittle

Noun: Ambition

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Brittle: hard but liable to break or shatter easily; (of a sound, especially a person's voice) unpleasantly hard and sharp and showing signs of instability or nervousness; (of a person or behavior) appearing aggressive or hard but unstable or nervous within

Ambition: a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work; desire and determination to achieve success

[camcatdotcom]

good morning world time to start another wonderful day!!!

*the loudest, most obnoxious bong rip ever*

[bugdogg]

Post where I talk about my thoughts on what I want relationship wise cause no ones around to listen rn, I’ll probably delete this post later cause I’m a coward, warning for complaining, I complain a lot. Also uhh I like this picture I took, these flowers are very pretty, love seeing them

I hate feeling desperate, I hate having little needs that can only be fulfilled with another person, it sucks. I went through a whole thing of being someone’s caretaker, trying so hard to make them happy and thinking I could fix them despite being so messed up myself. I know how it feels to be so relied on, I don’t like being in a relationship because of it, I don’t want to feel needed but at the same time it feels nice (using a lighter word for it)

Ik neither is bad, independence and codependenc , if its balanced between the two, but I think the thing I get caught on a lot is that you don’t need one specific person, there are so many people out there why just stick with one for your entire life. It works for a lot of people and I’m happy it does but idk why it feels like it won’t work for me. I think of it like friends, I love my friends, I like being close with them and like helping them and feeling wanted as a friend. But I’m not gonna have just one friend, one person isn’t gonna meet my needs, at least that’s what it seems like.

I considered polyamory but the issue is I don’t wanna feel like I’m tied to anyone, I don’t wanna have to run my life by anyone, I wanna freely be close with multiple people and it wouldn’t bother them if I worked like that. And Ik there’s people who just hook up and all that, buddies who you may be intimate with once in a while but I don’t know how to go about it and the only real way to experience it and experiment.

“We’ll if you wanna have that then go find people who-“ I know that, Ik I should just go looking but it’s scary as hell. I’m young, inexperienced with wading through the safe and dangerous people, I have a hard time finding people like me in the first place, and I’m easily overstimulated by everything so going out to meet people is a little hard.

“Well why don’t you just use an app to hook up or something?” … idk 😐 (I’ve run out of steam lol, I keep calling myself pathetic for my wants but Ik having them doesn’t make u pathetic. I’m just hard on myself ig…)

Anywayyyy, i think I should sleep…. Cause I’m supposed to wake up in 6 hours to go paddle boarding.

Don’t fuck up ur sleep schedule like me, beee betttterrrr

[pidgefudge]

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