#anyways so as were talking about things she could talk to her kids about i brought up a video is saw a while back
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gothicfied · 2 days ago
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Kang No-eul / Guard 011 Headcanons
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Pairing: Kang No-eul / Guard 011 x fem!reader
Warnings: Mentions of drinking/alcohol, other than that it's just fluff, not proof read (english isn't my first language)
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જ⁀➴ Working that shitty job as a costume performer at your local amusement park was hard enough, and the money problems that plagued your every thought were making the situation worse. Most of your co-workers would go out for dinner together after your shift, basically only to drink their problems away and forget about this hell for a night. The only one who'd also stay behind like you was No-eul. You didn't know much about her, as she'd be super secretive about her life, but you at least knew she was a nice person.
જ⁀➴ One time after work it was literally pouring outside, and since you didn't own a car or an umbrella apparently, she offered to take you home with her. You guys hurried over her car and got in as soon as possible and only then you noticed that it seemed like she was living in here. Looking at No-eul, you could tell that she was slightly embarrassed, so you didn't bother mention it or asking about it — Instead, you thanked her a thousand times and more for taking you home.
જ⁀➴ From then on, she'd drive you home one or two times a week so you wouldn't have to take public transportation. At one point, you invited No-eul in, offering to cook dinner as a thank you to her. After a few times it became a regular thing and she actually seemed like she was enjoying it, a smile replacing her usual stoic expression. You also never quite understood how she was so good at her job, entertaining the kids and all, when she was the complete opposite when taking the heavy costume off.
જ⁀➴ She'd help you out in the kitchen sometimes, often catching herself staring at some old childhood pictures of you that you hung up on the refrigerator.
"Oh, that one is cute." No-eul mumbled, pointing at a picture taken at one of your school's dance recitals when you were quite young. "Huh? Oh yeah," you turned around to the picture she was pointing at chuckling a bit, "I was like what? Maybe three? Four? It's one of my mom's favorite pictures, though." You didn't get a reponse back. When you turned around again, No-eul was still staring at it almost longingly.
જ⁀➴ Back at work, you were the only person she'd talk with during the breaks. Some of your co-workers would ask you how you gained her trust like that, since No-eul didn't even speak to them directly at all. You'd just shrug, not knowing how to answer them. Perhaps it was a bit strange how much she seemed to like you, but you certainly weren't complaining.
જ⁀➴ After some time, she'd open up to you about some of the things in her past and she explained her reason for living in her car with that she simply didn't have the money for an apartment. Apparently, she urgently needed it for something else, but she wouldn't tell you more about it. Just the fact No-eul was ready to share bits of her private life with you made your heart feel warm. You liked that she felt safe around you, and she did, too.
જ⁀➴ It got really late one night, so you offered her to sleep over at your place, since you probably owed her so much in gas money anyway. With a bit of hesitation, she'd accept, a genuine smile gracing her face. She was kind of forced to sleep in your bed as well, since your couch was just not big enough for one person to sleep on. No matter how much you apologized for that, No-eul would reassure you that this was more than fine and that she was really thankful you did this for her. She'd take your hand to squeeze it a couple of times to emphasize her words, even.
જ⁀➴ It felt like you two were teenage girls again, having a sleepover while you got ready for bed. No-eul showing you real emotions like happiness, excitement and gratefulness was so weird but also very appreciated by you. You never thought you'd come this close to her, shoulder on shoulder while laying together in your bed. Neither you or her minded it at all though and that was evident through the comfortable silence between you two. Not much had to be said in the moment for it to not be awkward.
જ⁀➴ When you woke up the morning after, No-eul was gone. You had figured that she'd probably be prone to do that, but you were still a bit baffled when finding the spot next to you cold and empty. She needed to get something done, that's at least what her text message said. This was typical No-eul, even if this was the first time this had happened.
જ⁀➴ No-eul wasn't able to get you out of her head. You were so irreducibly kind, soft spoken, pretty and just something that sge wasn't. Even back in the car she couldn't contain a smile when thinking about you, the conversations you had, your laugh, your face.. it wasn't like she didn't like it. She just wasn't used to this feeling at all ever since leaving her home years ago. But perhaps, just for you, she'd be ready to get used to it again.
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thewertsearch · 6 hours ago
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Anonymous asked: just read through your entire liveblog and wow. what a place to catch up. do you have any predictions about what the postscratch versions of the guardians will be? what about the guardian versions of the kids?
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So.
Mom Lalonde, Grandpa Harley, Nanna Egbert, and Bro Strider, reborn as the story's protagonists, and thrust into a Playerdom I never expected them to bear. The consequences of this reveal are likely to kick in on the very next page - and since that's a page I'm clicking on tonight, this is my last chance for some blind speculation.
There are an absolute mountain of angles I could potentially cover here, and it's impossible to address all the implications of this twist, so I'm just going to touch on a few key questions that Act 6 will need to answer sooner rather than later.
Without further ado, let's dive into our first question.
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Who, exactly, is raising these kids?
The simplest solution, of course, would be a one-to-one exchange between each Player and their Guardian. That certainly seems to be the case for Jade and Grandpa, who have been directly swapped. This would imply that Rose raised Mom, Dave raised Bro, and John might have raised Nanna. (More on that later.)
Still, that's not the only possibility. There's no reason why Dave couldn't raise the adolescent Mom instead, for example, with Rose adopting the younger Bro in his stead. That particular configuration has a lot of character potential, actually, because Bro Lalonde would undoubtedly be an unholy terror, and Mom Strider might just be one of the coolest characters I've ever conceived of.
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This aesthetic, with those shades? Come on.
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...all that said, though, I'm fairly sure we are just getting a one-to-one swap. That's how it appears to have worked for the trolls, and the one post-Scratch Player with a confirmed Guardian already matches this pattern.
Plus, swapping the kids with their own parents is just so interesting, on a character level, as it'd add a whole new dimension of analysis to the fucked-up relationships between Bro & Dave, Mom & Rose, and Grandpa & Jade.
Seeing how they all treat each other, now that the roles have been reversed, would be incredibly illuminating, and might shed some light on the thought processes of the pre-Scratched Guardians, as they were raising their own respective charges.
Anyway - now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about each individual family.
The Egberts
Astute readers will notice that I only mentioned the Guardian-Player parallels for three of our Players above - and that's because when it comes to the fourth, there's a slight complication.
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Namely, Dad Egbert no longer exists.
This means that Nanna's home life can't parallel John's, because the man who raised John was never even born. It's possible, then, that John will simply raise Nanna himself, as her grandfather.
Honestly, that's the scenario I'm hoping for, here. Out of our four original Players, I think that John would be the best parent by far - he's sweet, resilient, and has a natural talent for nurturing the positive qualities of the people he loves. If a baby lands in his backyard, he's going to rise to the challenge, octogenarianism be damned.
...now, here's where I'd speculate a little about Nanna's personality, but she's the one post-Scratch Player I can't really get a bead on. We only ever interacted with her Spritesona, whose personality was obviously corrupted by the presence of the jester doll.
As a result, I don't really have a clue what Nanna will be like. The only thing I'm sure about, if John's the one raising her, is that she'll be loved.
The Striders
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First of all, I have faith in Dave.
I think he's more or less guaranteed to be a better Guardian than his brother ever was. Granted, I don't think Dave would be particularly paternal, but I also think he'll be able to refrain from beating Bro's ass with a puppet, which is progress.
I think Dave would be a laissez-faire type of guardian, who allows the younger Bro a lot more agency and autonomy than other kids his age, but also struggles to be the adult in the room when his kid needs guidance. He's not going to be as traumatized as his younger self, but I bet it's still borderline impossible to have a serious conversation with him. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Kid Bro turned out to be the more mature of the pair.
In a nutshell, Dave was born to be a cool uncle, but was forced unwittingly into a parental role instead. He's doing his best.
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Quite frankly, I'm very worried about Kid Bro.
If we assume that every Paradox Clone keeps the same Veil item as last time - and there's no reason why they wouldn't - then Bro will be coming down with Lil' Cal, the cursed puppet created by Gamzee's Chucklevoodoos.
I'm still convinced that long-term exposure to this abomination was the main reason Bro was so batshit insane, and while the younger Bro won't have been around it for quite as long, he'll still have thirteen years of an evil Juggalo's Rage miasma being beamed into his brain.
I think Kid Bro will be a little batshit, but not completely batshit. We'll see a child with the potential to become the deranged ventriloquist who tormented Dave, but one who can still be saved, if we can just get that hell puppet away from him.
Separated from Cal, I still think Bro will be a memelord, and I'm sure not all his interests came from the puppet. I think this guy was always destined to be a pretty bizarre dude - but with luck, this iteration of him will be a little more pleasant to be around.
The Lalondes
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Rose... could go either way, honestly.
Just like Dave, I don't think she's the type who'd willingly choose to be a parent. Rose doesn't want a baby, she wants a library full of cursed tomes, a coven of witches to scheme with, and to live in an enormous gothic castle with her wife, Kanaya Maryam. Her ideal lifestyle couldn't handle a kid, and I think she's self-aware enough to know that, and adopt a hundred mutant kittens instead.
That said... if she had to raise a daughter, I think she'd try her best to do right by the girl. I think some part of her would absolutely resent the fact that she's a background character in someone else's life - especially if, like the Sufferer, she remembers being a Player - but she'd do everything she could to keep that resentment to herself.
Rose would be an alright mother. A little cold, maybe, and more than a little distant, but she'd still love her Roxy.
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As for Roxy, I can only assume she's a gigantic fucking badass. Even among the Guardians, her barehanded combat feats were always astounding, and I think she and Kid Bro will be the primary combatants of their session.
I also think she'll be one of the most analytical, scientifically-minded Players we've ever seen. Her adult self was experimenting with Ectobiology even outside of Sburb, which suggests to me an intense curiosity about how all this shit works, which isn't present in most of our other heroes. Like Rose, she'll be a researcher, and maybe even a Seer - but while Rose searched for the truth via magic and mysticism, Roxy's research will be entirely scientific.
Honestly, the most exciting thing about finally meeting Roxy is the milestone it'll represent. I'll finally, finally have encountered every character I knew about prior to starting the comic.
The Harleys
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Grandma Jade was still the Witch of Space, and was clearly aware of that fact.
This tells us that:
John, Rose and Dave also retained their Titles, even if they don't know it.
Grandma Jade was probably aware of Sburb and its secrets, especially if she was living near the Frog Temple.
Grandma Jade was the Witch of Space. She's gone.
...and I have a theory about what happened to her.
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I think that when Grandpa was a baby, Jade travelled to Anachronism Island, just like her predecessor did - but this time around, it wasn't Bec who greeted her at the Temple.
No, I think Jade had a fatal encounter with the new First Guardian of Earth - a corrupted First Guardian, spliced with the same HONK code that created Scratch. Kid Grandpa clearly survived whatever happened next, and I think it's horribly plausible that the new First Guardian is a pseudo-Guardian to him, the same way Becquerel was to Jade.
In other words, this kid might be completely compromised, manipulated by English's servant since infancy. Let's not forget that he's the one who suggested making the bunny to Jade, which is the reason Jack was able to ascend in the first place...
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...but someone suggested it to him, first.
Anyway, those are my high-level thoughts about the new timeline's key players. We'll be starting Act 6 in an hour or so, and I've got a feeling that we're about to see Nanna standing in a very familiar room.
After all, it just so happens that today...
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thesunloveschips · 11 hours ago
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Obsessed - Part 10 - Epilogue (Azriel x Reader)
Summary: A decade, a wedding, and two kids later, Azriel is still obsessed.
Warnings: Fluff.
Word count: 1.4k
Click here for Obsessed (Masterlist)
****
A decade later
“This spot, right here, was where I spoke to your mama for the first time.” Azriel declared after stopping at some random part of the airport with their twins in his arms. 
What? 
“Ohh.” The children cooed with far too much energy for early morning travel. Their father seemed rather proud of their reaction. 
Y/n suspected something was off when her husband proposed a trip the week before to the country where she’d studied for her exchange program but what the actual fuck was this?
All of it started when their kids asked him about how he’d met their mother. 
As a matter of fact, she really did not remember why she agreed to this trip but Azriel had somehow seduced her into saying yes and the next thing she knew, the family had reached the airport.
Y/n remained somewhere between embarrassment and mortification as he continued to narrate to his children the story of how hopelessly he’d fallen in love with their mother while skipping the inappropriate parts of his thoughts. 
She sighed.
Maybe, she could take a breather and visit the university, meet her professors and a few friends. 
She followed Azriel into a restaurant where as soon as they entered, a few men stood up from a table and made way for the family to sit. 
“This is where I had my first meal with your mama. I was sitting on this very chair and for some reason, your mama is not sitting on the same chair she was all those years ago.” And she simply smiled before deciding their food because her family were engrossed in their own world to read the menu.
All those years ago, huh? 
Time had flown by so soon and somehow so slowly. 
And a thirty-nine year old Azriel certainly looked fine. So damn fine carrying the kids with the sleeves of his black shirt folded up to the forearms and revealing his tattoos. Y/n was half tempted to drag him to the nearest restroom and kneel for him. 
The meal was a light one. She watched them quietly while Azriel narrated the legendary romance of their mama and papa to their children. 
“Mama.” The little boy, Aether, called. “When did you fall in love with papa?”
“In an apartment.” She smiled at the memories from their apartments and let them take her back in time.
When Azriel confessed how he’d arranged for them to meet by finding out her travel information, she was simply surprised. 
But then he revealed how he’d bought an entire building and arranged for them to be neighbours just so he could have an excuse to see her and talk to her. 
Her husband smiled knowingly at her as he continued to coddle and feed their children. 
And then came the time to board the flight. 
Outside the aircraft, Azriel stood with their kids as he commanded their attention. “Now, this is the plane in which I sat next to your mama for the first time. It was our first time travelling together.”
Y/n sighed. Who gave this man so much money anyway? Because he’d tracked down that particular aircraft and bought it ten years ago. It had been revamped into a private jet for the family. 
They boarded the plane and Y/n had absolutely nothing to do. The only thing she had to do was order food for them all at that restaurant earlier. Azriel had taken care of everything else. 
The plane was divided into three parts; the cockpit for the pilots, the area for the cabin crew and the bodyguards, and the area for the family, with the latter separated by doors. 
Their baby girl, Nora, was now yawning. Soon enough, Aether yawned and Y/n led them to the large bed where she tucked them and closed the window. Once they’d fallen asleep, she returned to her husband and settled on his lap. 
“Sleep, Y/n.” His hand cradled her body gently and firmly. And as she drifted away to sleep, she recalled how life had continued after their reconciliation.
It was a mess and they wanted it. They wanted to navigate it. She'd taken her time to confess her feelings about her past and so had he. And for the first time, they were raw and broken in each other's arms.
She snuggled against him, inhaling his scent. This was her husband. The father of her children. A man so devoted to her and intent on treating her right and she wondered if she was ever doing enough for him.
And just when she thought she could cry from it all, her husband pressed a kiss to her forehead and began humming a tune.
**** 
Azriel was a composed person. Always taking time to enjoy everything. Never in a hurry because he always planned everything like that. 
He’d taken Y/n out on dates where they could simply enjoy the food and the place without having to rush anything at all. 
When they were married, he was over the moon. Obviously.
The billion-dollar empire did not run on its own but he was far too eager to go home to Y/n.
After a long period of an obsession bordering on unhealthy, she was finally his wife. And they had two children. Aether had his black curly hair and smile while Nora had his eyes but the rest of them were all his sweet wife. 
Wife. 
Azriel looked at the building as the car neared it. When it stopped, he gently woke up his wife and the family was in the apartment she lived in. 
“This was mama’s apartment.”
“What’s an apartment?” Azriel proceeded to explain the word by giving the twins a tour of the place. 
****
Dinner was yet another affair as Azriel took it upon himself to tour the city, taking them to every single place they’d ever been to. “This is where we did our grocery shopping.”
“So this is how I can get a girlfriend.” The little boy mused. 
“Maybe.” The father grinned. Their son mirrored his expression and their daughter was now curious. 
“Mama.” Nora looked up at Y/n. “If I want to marry someone, will I have to wait for a boy to do all this for me?”
Azriel froze. 
His little girl? 
Marrying? 
Marrying?
What a horrifying thought. 
He immediately took out his phone and texted his assistant to increase the security around his daughter lest some random lizard abduct her from him. 
“Well. .” Y/n began. “Maybe you’ll meet someone who does something else but which would make you feel special.” My god, what was his wife saying? There was no need for their daughter to meet anyone like that. 
“But papa makes me feel special. So why would I meet someone else?” Bless his daughter, such a lovely soul. 
“Of course, my little sweet.” Yes. Papa was all that his little girl needed. There was no need for any snakes to slither into her life. 
****
A few weeks later
It was a normal day and a normal lunch. Azriel and Y/n held a child each and walked over to the table where Nesta was waiting with Cassian. 
A few years ago, when the ladies had discovered that their partners were old childhood friends, it was decided that there was no reason why they couldn’t dine together every now and then. 
Nesta and Cassian had recently gotten married in a hurry. One random morning, Y/n had been video called to be told that they were going somewhere and the courthouse was on the way, so they decided to marry. Needless to say, Y/n screamed at her friend before congratulating her. 
Conversation floated around the table. The children were coddled. Food was passed around and laughter erupted. 
“Cassian!” A voice yelled. 
The man looked up to see another one of his friends and smiled broadly. He raised a hand in greeting. “Rhys!”
Nesta looked up and saw her brother-in-law holding her nephew, Nyx’s hand while Feyre was busy looking at the pastries a few steps away from them. Once Rhys walked over to his wife and she’d also seen them, it was automatically decided that they’d be dining together. 
More seats were added and adults were catching up. Meanwhile, the twins looked at Nyx in fascination primarily because they’d never seen him before. 
Nyx, only a few months older than them at the age of six, reached out for Nora’s cheek. Once he’d ascertained that it was soft, he pulled it hard. 
The girl squealed in pain, tears brimming her eyes. She immediately turned to her brother who was already glaring at the boy. 
Y/n came and began pacifying her daughter while her son stayed close but Azriel was struck at the horror of the situation. 
“Keep your son a mile away from my daughter.” And thus began, Azriel’s paranoia that the reptile who’d steal his precious daughter would be none other than Nyx.
****
Author's Note: Thank you for accompanying me on this journey. Writing Obsessed has been a wonderful experience.
Thank you @findingstephanie @div94 for helping me. They were my beta readers for Obsessed and have helped me immensely.
I hope all of us meet people who will not only be obsessed with us but also be obsessed with treating us right.
P.S. I might write an Azriel x Reader/OC x Eris fic soon.
****
Taglist:
@fantanbietsson @angstylittleb1tch @fhgsvbnh @olive-main @cherryjain17 @halo-mystic @starofanotherworld @latinxbipride @viatorem-maris @acotarbestie @sevikas-whore @anthonys-viscountess @randomgurl2326 @thelov3lybookworm @cat-or-kitten @mortqlprojections @tele86 @rorel1a @red0202 @atomictyphoonkitten @colorfulgardenerduck @scarsandallaz @anonymousdisco @rcarbo1 @workof-a-rr-t @fuckingsimp4azriel @isabella13dusk @donnadiddadog @yannnnooooxoxox-blog @nxgh1 @thedeviltohisangel @katherinebright @fandomtrash5092 @epicsweetness712 @anik-4 @hitsxbikbv @julesvanslutta @fae-dreamer-99 @cartonkid1200 @anainkandpaper @yourwonderbelle @stefbroo @imjustagirl713 @bbykaixx @lilah-asteria @mellowmusings
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xxepherr · 2 days ago
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hasan blurb/fic idea or request (idk if your taking requests?)
hasan blurb/fic based on the tree decorating stream but reader is very particular about how she thinks tree should be decorated and hasan just sits back and observes her lovingly decorating the tree while chat is saying he's down bad the whole time 😩
.ೃ࿐HEART EYES
summary — in which hasan can't help but sit back and watch with adoration while you decorate his christmas tree
pairings — hasan piker x reader
pronouns — she/her
word count — 736
note — they're not dating in this one but you can assume they're unofficially dating or not yet at the point of sharing their feelings. up to you! (also this is super late but i was away for the christmas period so!!)
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YOU'D STAYED OFF YOUR phone ever since you last watched hasan and murat go to home depot with rae, marche and qt. you technically had other things to be doing — for one, finishing wrapping christmas presents — but you also wanted to be entirely blindsided by what hasan would be bringing home with him.
to be fair though, you hadn’t expected him to bring home multiple dog statues. when you knocked on the door to hasan’s house and his dad welcomed you inside, you were hoping that he’d come back with a tree and decorations, maybe some lights that you could string up across the trees in his yard.
the tree you were currently staring at was ugly. seriously ugly. apparently it was qt’s choice ( like the dogs ) to get it, and apparently it was the least ugly according to murat.
YOU stood there in the most disappointed fashion anyone had ever seen. once glance at chat and they all shared the exact same sympathy.
“hasan,” you interrupted his mindless chatter about how he was decorating the tree. you weren’t even sure who he was talking to anymore — it sounded more like he was trying to reason with himself that he was doing a good job. “can i just—“ you cut yourself off, now wanting to sound demanding when you were his guest. “nevermind.”
he had stopped the second he heard your voice directed at him instead of chat anyway, the baubles forgotten about in his large hands. “what’s up?” he asked, all his attention on you.
you blinked. “uh, tinsel and lights usually look better if you put them on first.”
without a word, he scooted the box of baubles away with his foot and pulled the tinsel off from where it was hanging around his neck like a scarf. “then it’s all yours,” he announced, placing the tinsel around your neck like a silver medal.
the atmosphere was different because qt and rae weren’t sticking around for the decorating. you kind of wished they had stayed because the vibes would've been easier to deal with. you hadn't been alone on stream with hasan since the recent . . . development in feelings that had started to bubble up into existence.
the second the ornaments were in your hand, you were in complete control of decorations. years and years of being the designated tree decorator as a kid were coming back full force. you started at the top, walking around the tree to sit the lights in an evenly spaced manner down the tree, and then did the same with the tinsel.
hasan was — uncharacteristically — at a loss for words. his eyes were on you the entire time, capturing every movement you made as if he would miss a thing if he blinked. he had very little commentary, fixated on every aspect of you like you would disappear, slipping away like you were never in his house in the first place.
the chat was not helping his case.
"shut up, chat," he tried to keep his voice low and serious, "i am not down bad. shut the fuck up."
you heard him of course, the space between you not large enough to whisper secrets. that, and you'd felt his eyes burning holes through you, a silent shadow across every one of your movements. every ornament
you heard him of course, the space between you not large enough to whisper secrets. that, and you'd felt his eyes burning holes through you, a silent shadow across every one of your movements. every ornament — all of it. you could only imagine what his twitch chat was saying as he cleared his throat uncomfortably at being caught.
he didn't have the pleasure of staying in the unknown, unable to tear his eyes away from every chat message, peripheral vision on you through the monitor. every down bad, whipped, are they dating? multiplied tenfold, then triple that. and triple it again. he was in for it now, and you were — supposedly — none the wiser to any of it.
you knew, you could tell. heat burnt across your cheeks as you kept your back turned, yapping on about decorations to chat to provide an out to hasan, a way for him to involve himself in the conversation to change the topic.
there was really no use in keeping it a secret now.
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hmhas-00 · 2 days ago
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Ch. 11
Hit Me Hard & Soft
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A/N: i've been so busy but here's ch11!! I hope you like :)
~~~~~
Billie’s POV
I waited a while, checking my phone for a reply constantly but got nothing. I forced myself out of bed to get ready for rehearsal. I start the bath and undress, putting a Netflix show on my phone. I lower myself into the hot, bubbling tub and prop my phone up on the side.
I spend a while here, leaning my head back on the rolled up towel I set up for myself. I zoned off, thinking about switching out a few songs for tonight’s show.
As I drifted off into a daydream, my phone began buzzing. I opened my eyes to see it was Remy calling. Before I could dry my hands off, it slid towards the edge of the tub. My attempt to catch it failed, and my phone fell inside the water.
“FUCKING HELL BRO.”
I fished it out of the bath water, trying to answer the call anyways, but the screen was completely glitched out. Immediately, I got up and tried to dry it with a towel, shaking the water out of the charging port, only to realize my phone was completely messed up.
“You have to be fucking kidding me!” I grunted, sitting back down in my bath and throwing my useless phone at the floor. This is the least relaxing bath I’ve ever taken in my life.
I quickly drained the bath and took a shower, trying my best to not get into an irreversible horrible mood. When I finished getting ready, I threw an oversized hoodie over my outfit, put my hair in a pony tail, and left for the venue to start rehearsal.
******
“In the bathtub? No wonder you weren’t answering me.” Finneas tuned his guitar, prepping for sound check.
It was already 4:30pm, and we were getting ready before the concert at 7pm. Finneas joining me on stage for the next three days was the main thing keeping me going.
“Yeah, I was gonna ask, do you have an extra phone I can borrow for now?” I laughed, waiting for our sound guy’s sign to start testing the mics.
“We can get the team to get you a phone by tonight.” He laughed along with me.
“Actually, I was gonna tell you… Before I drowned my phone, I texted Remy.”
“You did?” He looked at me, wanting to know all the details.
“Yeah, I don’t know if you saw her instagram post, but when I saw it, I just wanted to talk to her… Tell her how much I miss her.” I looked down at the mic, fidgeting.
“What did you text her?”
“It’s literally so dumb. I feel so stupid, dude…”
“Tell me!” He begged, excitedly.
I cleared my throat and paraphrased, “I said… I saw your wall, it’s incredible.”
He laughed, leaning back and smacking my arm. “Literally no one… Trump fans.”
“Shut the fuck up!” I cringed at myself, laughing with him. “And then I just double texted her, and told her I missed her, and I wished I was with her in her newly painted room.”
“That’s rough, man.” He caught his breath, finishing up his guitar sound check. “Please tell me she answered before you destroyed your phone.”
“She called AS my phone jumped in the bath with me, dude.” I groaned, pouting while stifling a laugh.
“Fuuuuck!” He chuckled. “You wanna use my phone and give her a call back?”
“I was gonna call her from the hotel phone after the show. I don’t want her to think I purposely ignored her call.”
“So this is your first time speaking in over three weeks, huh? That’s almost a month. Have you thought about what you’re going to say?” He walked with me to the greenroom as we talked.
“Sort of. I’m going to apologize for sure. Hopefully, it goes well, and she forgives me. Hopefully it won’t lead to an argument. She’ll probably want to talk about it, though. I just don’t want to mess up and say the wrong things, you know?”
“Just speak from your heart. Don’t hide anything, leave it all out in the open. That’s just my advice.” He patted my back and grabbed a snack from the table.
“Yeah. I hope I can do that. I hope she even answers.” I shrugged, thinking about the possibility that she may not even want to talk anymore.
What if she changed her mind. What if me not answering hurt her feelings. What if she was just calling to tell me to go fuck myself instead?
“Let’s see right now.” Finneas immediately dialed her on his phone, putting it on speaker.
“No!” I covered my mouth and held my breath. I guess there would never be a better time to rip the bandaid off.
It rang for a while, the dial tone continuing on, until her voicemail greeting played. He hung up.
“Maybe she’s busy?” He looked at me, trying not to let me down.
“Maybe.” My heart drops. She usually answers Finneas, so the fact that she didn’t, made me feel like she didn’t want to hear from, or about me. Like she figured I was still on my bullshit and Finneas was calling to fix it for me. I fucked up. She’s probably hurt. I double text her, then I decline her call. She must think I’m the worst.
Finneas pats my back and gives me a sympathetic smile. “Don’t worry.” He says.
The day goes on, my body traveled through space and time in autopilot. It passed by in a blink, and suddenly it was time to perform. I tried my best to get excited for the show while Finneas and the rest of the crew hyped me up. Before I knew it, I was on stage catching that adrenaline rush that was so familiar to me.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
After the show, I ran under the stage and back to the green room to grab some water and have a breather. Finneas trailed behind me, plopping on the same couch from earlier. It was a pretty known ritual of mine to immediately have some alone time to catch my breath after a show, mostly to keep the crew or management from rushing me all at once. I gave Finneas a heads up that I’d be getting un-ready in my dressing room, and made my way over.
I stretched my arms over my head and let out a giant yawn as I approached my room. Turning the knob, I swung the door open, exhausted from quite the performance I had put on, both physically and mentally.
Inside the room sat a pretty brunette facing the vanity mirror, holding an enormous bouquet of white, long stem roses. She straightened her posture and watched me through the reflection. Her back faced me until I stepped in and closed the door behind me.
“Remy?” I took a step closer. She turned around, remaining seated in the velvet stool. I almost didn’t believe it was real. I wanted to pinch myself but I was found half paralyzed, barely able to form full sentences.
“Hey, you.” She shyly spoke, her voice filling my heart with warmth and relief. She held the flowers out to me, standing up and looking at the brown-paper wrapped two-dozen in her hands. She struggled making eye contact and her arm was a bit shaky.
I stepped forward, moving the flowers out of the way and pulling her into my arms. We said nothing for a while, steadying our heartbeats. I indulged in our embrace, swaying back and forth out of habit. I focused on the reflection on the mirror in front of me, taking a mental picture of this moment. Her chin rested on my shoulder, her head only half an inch lower than mine. Her arms wrapped around my torso, and my hands on her upper and lower back. For three weeks, alI I needed was this hug.
Finally we broke the silence, “I’m sorry.” We both blurted out.
I pulled away, looking at her delicate face. She looked back down at the flowers, avoiding my gaze. Her makeup was done so lightly tonight, with a thin winged eyeliner standing out. I looked at her perfectly high cheekbones, noticing just a bit of shine added to them. Her hair was done in loose, wavy curls, with her curtain bangs remaining straight. Her lips were brushed over with a sheer gloss, her lips naturally plump and mauve. At the sight of them, I tucked my bottom lip under my top one, thinking before I let myself speak and ruin everything.
“Remy, I’m the one who should be sorry.” I finally mustered up the courage to talk, although careful not to reveal too much. “I fucked up. I didn’t know what the hell I was saying. I’m an idiot, I thought I was helping, but I was just being selfish. And this whole time I thought I was angry at you, but really-“ I stopped myself, noticing her long eyelashes batting at me.
I paused, taking a deep breath and giving myself a moment to think before continuing. “I was angry at you for nothing. I was wrong. I shouldn’t expect you to listen to everything I say, or make decisions about your career based on-“ I sighed, feeling like I could never find the words. I was tip toeing around the real problem, just like Finneas said. I wanted to be honest with her so badly, I did. I knew I couldn’t. It wasn’t the right time.
“It’s okay. I forgive you. I’m sorry, too.” She looked directly in my eyes. Her stare felt like knives jabbing into my soul.
“No, don’t apologize-“
“Let me apologize. Please.” She started, handing me the bouquet that she had trimmed and prepared herself. “I know I’m not the easiest person to be friends with. I have a lot of baggage, and-“
“Stop. Don’t say that-“ I hated hearing that. I hated thinking I contributed to her feeling this way.
She protested, “No, it’s true. We’ve been friends for so long, and you’ve been there through everything. You did pick me back up, and maybe that does give you the right to feel like you have to protect me and shield me from everything.”
I swallowed, admiring the roses in my hand, while listening to her soft voice.
“But you have to let me make my own choices and my own mistakes. And I need you to support me, because you’re all I have.�� She began to cry, “Billie, this month has been so hard without being able to just text you or call you, and then you casually text me-“
I quickly put the roses on the vanity next to us and brought her into another hug. “I’m so sorry, Remy. I’m so stupid. I should’ve been more supportive. I’m stubborn and I think everyone should just think like me. I just wanted you to be happy. And it just felt like you’d be happier if I didn’t butt in on your life…” I gently placed a hand on the back of her head. Her hair smelled like jasmine and vanilla, and felt silky smooth. “It just hurt. Some of the things you said hurt, and I’m so fucking stubborn.”
I pulled away, grabbing both of her hands. A small gasp escaped my lips, “And today, when you called me, the reason I didn’t answer is because my phone fell in the bathtub and it fucking broke, I swear to god I wasn’t ignoring you. That time.”
She nodded, smiling a bit. That smile she held back from me, although minuscule, meant the world to me.
“I promise you, no more telling you what to do, no more harsh, unnecessary comments about your work. I’m going to support you, no matter what. If you ever kill Joe, I’ll be your alibi, we’ll bury the body together.”
She let out a small laugh. I made her laugh. Thank God.
“That was a joke.” I smiled. “I’m sorry for being so-“
She shook her head, “Me too. I’m sorry for complaining so fucking much. I understand why you want me out of there so bad. But I need to keep pursuing this. I feel it. Trust me, okay?” She smiled, letting go of my hands and wiping her tears. “And I’m sorry for saying that shit about you before I left the car. It’s not true. You’re not like that at all.”
I nodded. “It’s okay, I deserved it. I was such a dick, Remy.” I rubbed my eyes and took my hair out of the messy ponytail. “Let’s get out of here. We’ll go anywhere you want.”
“Billie.” She grabbed my arms, grazing my skin softly with her fingers. Her touch gave me goosebumps.
“Yeah?”
“I know you love me.” She looked directly into my eyes.
“You do?” My heart dropped all the way down into my ass. My stomach turned and my knees weakened.
“Yeah, you’re the greatest friend I could ask for.” She smiled.
The word friend echoed in my head, giving me the urge to break my neck right in front of her. However, I thanked my lucky stars that’s what she meant. This meant nothing had changed, and we’d continue as normal. As best friends…
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sturniololuv08 · 2 days ago
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TreeHouse Chapter 4
"A gentleman always pays for the date."
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Summary: Sienne gets more than she wants from her date with Matt
"The halls of high school may echo with love, but the future is rarely paved with it."
⚠️This Fic Series will NOT be for people with triggers. This Fic Series will have very descriptive moments of abuse.⚠️
Please Read At Your Own Risk.
Sienna's POV:
The basketball game tonight was on the outside courts because the weather was decent. Julia insisted I wear something super cute to impress Matt. I let Julia dress me up, unsure of what would impress Matt. She put me in the most uncomfortable skirt. The skin-tight long-sleeve shirt wasn't as bad, but the amount of cleavage it showed was unnecessary. The best part about the outfit was my black high-top boots. They were comfortable, and they were actually mine.
"I don't see Matt."
"Nick, either." AK was also looking.
"Are you sure you're not -"
"Everyone knows Nick is one inch taller than Matt." Both Julia and I stopped and looked at him with the same expression.
"Everyone?" We both said in unison.
"He's the oldest too. Did you know that?" He ignored our judgment.
"Anyways... Keep looking for Matt." We went back to searching for him. He seemed to be all about me, but Julia was all about finding him. He was cute, and Nick was cute. I didn't know either of them well, though, other than whatever rumors were spread around school that I chose to listen to.
"There they are." The pair walking in was like a movie scene. Almost everyone was watching them, and Nick slowly threw his head back in laughter while Matt had a hot smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. The only thing missing was if people were taking pictures and flashing lights on them.
"Matt!" Julia was quick to get his attention in our direction. He head nodded at her, and she gasped.
"Julia, he's not a celebrity." Once he saw me standing in the bleachers next to her, he held up a single finger. I couldn't help but smile. He and Nick stood in the middle of the entryway with the concessions, talking for a minute, and then Nick headed to the stand while Matt headed towards us.
"Hey Sienna," he immediately grabbed me in a hug. His smell was fresh and clean, and I wondered what soap he used in the shower. I quickly reprimanded myself for being weird and broke the hug apart. "You look amazing," he looked me up and down. I suddenly felt self-conscious.
"Thank you." I blushed and looked down slightly, letting my hair cover it.
"Where is Nick?" AK wasn't subtle about his concerns.
"He is getting us all snacks. Might need help carrying them." Matt pointed over his shoulder with his thumb.
"Peace." AK started walking down the bleachers. The three of us sat down.
"So, you like basketball?" I asked Matt, trying to figure out something to talk about.
"Yeah, it's not bad. I could never play, though. I'm the worst." I giggled at his joke.
"I'm pretty good maybe I could teach you a thing or two?" I tried to be flirty. Having thee Matthew Sturniolo's attention was the best way to gain popularity in school. Not that I wanted it or cared but I knew Julia was hoping for a seat at the cool kids table so to speak.
"You play?" He leaned back to look at me.
"Yeah, I play a lot of sports." It was true. Whether I was good or not was a different story. I was pretty much mediocre at all of them except swimming. I have won a few awards from competitions at our school and outside organizations where I competed. Swimming was a freeing feeling. Being under the water, everything stopped.
"That's pretty cool." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and I saw Julia start to freak out. Nick and AK came back, holding everything haphazardly.
"Drinks. Candy. Popcorn." They started dishing it all out.
"You didn't have to buy us anything." I started saying.
"Of course I did. A gentleman always pays for the date." He smirked that intoxicating smirk.
"Date?" Julia whispered behind us while looking at AK.
"Thank you, Matt. That's so sweet of you." I glared at her since she wasn't very quiet. The game started, and Matt paid more attention to that than me. I wasn't complaining, though; his attention made me nervous. He stood up and cheered when someone's shot went in. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I stood up and looked behind me at Julia. She nodded and stood up to come with me.
"He is so into you." She gushed as soon as we were further down the bleachers.
"I know, but... why?" I asked, holding the door for her.
"You are so cool and hot. Maybe Ms. Williams did you a favor." She had a smug grin.
"I still hate you for that."
"Hey, Matt doesn't seem to mind," she winked as she came out of the stall. As we washed our hands, I looked at myself in the mirror. I just didn't feel like myself. I felt like I was forcing it, whatever it was. "Coming?" she asked by the door. I looked down at the water running over my fingers, with no visible soap left.
"Yeah. I'll be out in a minute." I forced a smile. I dried my hands and scrolled ConNext. I let out a sigh and smiled at myself one time in the mirror. Matt was so attractive that there was no point in being with me, but we would see how the night went. I pushed the door open and started walking down between the brick wall and the gate around the sports complex.
"Hey." Matt approached me, meeting me in the middle.
"Hi." I smiled and flipped my hair over my shoulder.
"You enjoying the game?" He looked fidgety.
"Uh, yeah." I lied. I didn't really enjoy watching it as much as I did playing it, and I couldn't stop wondering why he was suddenly showing interest in me the whole time, so I was just distracted all around. "What about you?"
"It's good. Wish we could talk more." He leaned back against the wall.
"About what?" I asked, skeptical.
"Just in general. I wanna talk about anything." He shrugged.
"Okay, let's start with why you are suddenly interested in me." The words left my mouth before I could make them sound flirtatious.
"Oh." He straightened up. "I guess I always kinda had eyes for you. You're really nice, and I like your style." He looked me up and down and wasn't afraid to make it obvious. I felt my cheeks get hot at his actions.
"Really?" I asked, a little shocked. I had no idea I had been on his radar for a while or even at all.
"Of course." He stepped closer to me and tugged me into him. "Why not?" He whispered. He pulled me into him, and I didn't hesitate. I felt his lips press on mine, and I melted into the touch. He was definitely experienced. His motions were swift and sensual. He moaned a little as his long fingers worked their way down into my skirt from my hips.
"No." I pushed back a little. He gripped me and pulled me in. Gripping me tightly.
"No?" He asked, looking into my eyes. His eyes gave me that sense of comfort again, but I knew my own personal boundaries.
"N.. no..." I stuttered. I was sure of my answer but unsure of his harsh actions holding me still.
"Come on." He started sucking on my neck, and his fingers played with my underwear band.
"No, Matt." I pushed myself off of him again. I made it free from his grip and marched back to Julia. Matt wasn't far behind me.
"Hey." She was unaware of what had happened. Matt awkwardly put his arm around my shoulder again, holding me close to him. I didn't want to ruin the mood for the rest of the game, so I didn't say anything then, but I planned on telling her everything tomorrow.
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A/N I accidentally posted Chapter 3 instead of Drafting it like I wanted to and then @chriss-slutt was so so sweet tonight I decided why not just post the next chapter for her too?
TreeHouse Taglist:
@trevorsgodmother @mintsturniolo @wysmols @chriss-slutt @middlepartmatt @blushsturns @shadowtheism @fratbrochrisgf @forgottxen
This fic is TAGLIST SPECIFIC, meaning in order to be tagged in this, you HAVE to be on the list. I'm doing this because of TRIGGERS.
REBLOG INSTRUCTIONS: I don't mind just please stress the trigger warnings so no backlash comes back to me!
Enjoy Matt and Si cooking 😏😘
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violetvines · 21 hours ago
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hey can u do averyjameson as parents hcs? or them generally parenting teens or something(a fic)
averyjameson it is!
avery & jameson hawthorne as parents ♥️
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- before the gender reveal, they played a game and said that whoever won would get to name the baby while whoever lost would not be able to say a word about the name the winner chose (the loser could give the baby their middle name tho)
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"You sure about this, Hawthorne? Don't complain when I win... because I'm not going to lose, not this time."
"When have I never been sure? You know I love to take all kinds of risks... and risky gambles are my favourite kind. They have been for a very, very long time."
Jameson looked at her, stared into the depths of her soul, as if begging her to understand what he meant, and Avery did know what that meant. "You are my favourite very risky gamble."
But she also knew that deep down, Jameson would never treat her as a gamble, or a puzzle, or a game – never again.
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- this whole thing was jameson's idea, and avery went along with it bc she was sure she would win – and also bc she knew jameson would name the baby something unconventional and she already had an idea of what it was going to be bc of a previous conversation...
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Avery knew that when a 911 was called, Jameson would have to drop everything he was doing and answer. Not answering had its... consequences.
Which is why when 911 was called that night, when they had been in the middle of their weekly unwrapping sessions where they would tell each other the most memorable things that happened to them that week, when they would talk and laugh and fall in love all over again, she had let him go.
She had to admit it, she didn't know when Jameson would return, but she still stayed up to wait for him. When the clock struck 2 in the morning, Avery, having fallen asleep on the sofa, was woken by heavy breathing right next to her ear. And pressure on her right shoulder. Someone's head was resting right on it, and judging by the scent of that person, it was no other than Jameson Winchester Hawthorne.
He also smelled of alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.
Avery's eyes flew open. "Jameson!"
He didn't budge. She nudged him lightly on the shoulder. Still no response. She called again. "Jame–"
And then he said something, whispered it in her ear, without so much as a warning.
"I know what I want to name our baby."
Under different circumstances, her heart would have warmed with that revelation. She and Jameson had not touched this topic outwardly before, but knowing that he could see them with a little kid of their own almost made her melt like a puddle on the floor. The only issue was the fact that he was intoxicated. But she still played along anyway, because that's what the two of them liked to do.
They liked to play, and when they did, they were a force of nature because they never played each other – they played with each other. Of course, there were also times they played against each other, but Jameson almost always yielded to her.
"Oh yeah? What's that?" She tried to stifle a laugh.
"Don't laugh at me, Heiress..." he slurred, "...I'm being sssserioussss..."
A few seconds of silence.
"I want to name him... brandy."
"What? You want to name him after a brandy?"
She found it quite amusing, seeing as the name Jameson was a brand of whiskey.
"Nooo, noooo..." he trailed off.
"Brandy. Let's call him Brandy." He started chuckling at that moment, and Avery could not tell if he was joking or not.
Brandy Hawthorne? What kind of name was that?
"Jameson... you don't know what you're talking about."
"Shhhhhhhhh!" He put one finger to her lips. "He's going to get offended and–"
"You shhh!" She retorted, gently pushing his hand away and getting up to adjust the pillows on the sofa. He pulled her back down in one swift movement.
With a huff, she turned to face him, only to find that his bright green eyes were inches from hers. She asked the question anyway. "How do you know we'll have a boy?" She let it hang in the air.
After another few seconds of silence, there was finally a reply.
"Heiress," he began, "have I ever told you that drunk Jameson is a psychic?" And then he started snoring.
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- avery did NOT like the name he drunk-picked and after she told him what he said that night, he laughed and said it wasn't a bad name
- of course, jameson was only doing this to annoy her more bc he loves the thrill of getting her to laugh and still kiss him even if she's annoyed with him (he thinks that it's a win)
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ok i'm actually gonna do the hc for them as parents now
- avery gives birth to a... daughter! which means drunk jameson is not a very good psychic after all
"Still am," Jameson replied, a twinkle in his eye, "a psychic for saying the exact opposite."
- her name is [kylie], after avery's middle name, and after kaylie, hannah's sister because avery knew how much kaylie meant to her mom
- before telling jameson the name she picked, she joked and asked if he thought of the name virginia (back to the whiskey brands thing again LOL)
- as a baby, kylie loved touching people's hair and jameson always let her touch his, which is why every time he goes out, his hair would be naturally messy and he always jokes that his hair stylist is his little girl
- avery played with kylie the same games her mom played with her and she feels very nostalgic about it and holds those moments close to her heart
- when she was little, kylie loved playing hide and seek, and she had a habit of hiding in the most obvious places, but avery and jameson always pretended like they couldn't find her just so she could be happy
- somehow, when it comes to taking risks and chasing danger, kylie takes after jameson, but to be fair, he taught her to take a lot of risks when she was a kid and to never fear danger
- of course, avery is always nearly getting a heart attack because she now has to take care of two "uncareful" people
- when kylie was old enough, and the three of them were sitting at the table for dinner one day, she asked about how they met and jameson told her the story
- so that's how kylie's fantasy of randomly inheriting billions of dollars started, "just like mommy"
- but afterwards, she couldn't help but feel a bit angry with uncle grayson because of how he treated avery in the beginning (jameson may have exaggerated some things...)
- kylie inherited her looks from jameson (lucky girl) and her personality from avery which means that she loves mathematics and solving things and she does it with a cheshire cat smile (that smile will go on to be the most attractive smile on earth)
- and when she was old enough to get on a plane, the first few places they brought her to were tahiti and prague
- when she was a young teen, she had quite a rebellious phase... sounds familiar? – and she once made avery cry
- jameson definitely lectured her afterwards, and when she asked him, "weren't you the same in your early days too?" he replied with, "i was, but that was before i met your mother. she made me a better person."
- he went on to talk about how she shouldn't be how he was in the past and the only thing he can do now to fix any mistakes he regrets making in the past is to make sure his daughter doesn't destroy herself and the relationships around her
- so yes, jameson has a lot of deep talks with kylie and they're sort of like besties too! they even have a secret handshake and games they made up together
- kylie got really sick once so avery decided to take a whole day off work just to spend time with her
- when avery wasn't sure how to go about parenting kylie, she would always call libby and libby would give such good advice
- in fact, every year on kylie's birthday, avery would bring kylie to libby's house and they would spend time together (girl things)
- avery might be super busy, but she always makes time for kylie (much to jameson's delight, because spending time with kylie means spending time with him)
- they have family game night every sunday
- when kylie got her first boyfriend, jameson spoke in riddles the whole time when she brought him to meet her parents
- avery was kinder about it but she was still particular about her daughter choosing the right person – she asked kylie a similar question to what max asked her: you're standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean... are you able to picture yourself with him?
- the three of them are a tight-knit family, and kylie isn't afraid to tell her parents what she thinks about things and also rant to them bc she knows they will always be there for her <3
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noona-clock · 2 days ago
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Heart of the Ranch - Part 5
Genre: Cowboy!AU, Slice of Life, Fluff
Pairing: Namjoon x You (Female!Reader)
Warnings: None
Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 | Words: 3,147
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You and your friends, whom you had deemed the Official Marketing Team of BTS Ranch, spent most of the day doing what friend-cations were truly for: having fun together. Sure, you weren't exactly relaxing, but still! You weren't sitting in your office doing your usual accounting work, so that definitely counted for something.
You sat with Rachel as she created profiles for Namjoon (and the ranch) on multiple platforms, tagging along as she scurried around to take pictures of the house, the gorgeous scenery, and -- of course -- the owner, himself.
You hovered behind Trish at the front desk as she reimagined the website. She hadn't asked for your help, but you offered it anyway! If she could tell you to go on vacation, the least you could do was tell her how the website should look.
You exchanged ideas and giggles with Emily about what kind of content to post, and you stuck by her side as she followed Namjoon around to film a 'Day in the Life' type video. It was such a chore. I mean, watching Namjoon work outside and hearing his deep, smooth yet raspy voice explain what he was doing? Who'd want to do that?
(Just kidding -- obviously. The whole reason Emily was filming him doing this was because you both knew thousands, if not millions, of people on the internet would want to watch it!)
By the time dinner rolled around, Rachel had posted pictures and status updates on most of the profiles she'd created, Trish had nearly finished a complete overhaul of the website, and Emily had edited the footage of Namjoon into a fun, interesting video (that was also a subtle thirst trap, of course. How could it not be?).
As the four of you sat around the table, it was all you could talk about. Your plates sat largely untouched as you all scrolled and clicked through your phones in admiration.
"Hey, come on, now," Namjoon scolded as he entered the dining room carrying a basket of freshly baked rolls. "Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to look at your phones at the dinner table?"
"We're simply appreciating all the hard work we've done today!" Rachel rebutted, though all four of you did set your phones face-down next to your plates.
"Yeah," Emily agreed as she reached for one of the rolls after Namjoon set the basket down on the table. "The hard work we did for your ranch."
Namjoon winced and rested a hand on the back of your chair. "Okay, I deserve that. Guilt trip accomplished."
You rolled your eyes in amusement, ignoring the way your stomach jumped as your shoulder brushed against his hand.
"Let me know if you guys need anything else," he chuckled. "Dinner-wise. I think I'm done with social media for the day."
Emily quickly picked her phone back up and held it out toward him. "But wait, don't you want to see the comments on your video?"
"Absolutely not," he answered immediately, taking a few steps away from the table. "The comments are none of my business."
"But they're all positive!" she assured him.
"Can we at least reply to them?" Trish asked.
"Be my guest," Namjoon nodded. "But I've lived this long without reading comments, I can go another day or two."
He turned to leave the dining room, but before he did, he discreetly slipped a piece of paper under your placemat.
It turns out he hadn't been as discreet as he thought, though, because as soon as the door into the kitchen swung closed behind him, Rachel leaned over to you and whispered, "What does the note say?!"
Emily and Trish leaned in, too, and you slid the paper out as silently as you could. You pressed your index finger to your lips, signaling to your friends to stay quiet before reading the message out loud (but softly, of course): Meet me outside in an hour.
Emily pressed her lips together to contain a squeal, and Rachel and Trish both reached for your arm to squeeze it with excitement.
There were many positive things you could say about your lovely friends, but the one thing in the forefront of your mind right now was just how supportive they were.
Without another word, you folded the paper up into a tiny square and poked it into the pocket of your jeans.
"How many views are we at, Em?" you asked, raising your voice louder than normal to make sure Namjoon heard you were talking about social media -- not his note.
In your head, though, you were already counting down the minutes.
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It hadn't quite been an hour yet, but you couldn't wait any longer. You'd freshened up after dinner, and there was only so much freshening up you could do without just changing into a whole new outfit and washing your hair, y'know? And you figured that if Namjoon wasn't out there yet, he would be soon enough, and there was plenty around the ranch to keep you occupied.
But you really weren't surprised to walk out of the front door and see Namjoon sweeping the stone path connecting the driveway and the porch.
"Are you ever not working?" you asked, immediately realizing how laughable that question was coming from you.
Namjoon paused to look up at you, and a smile flashed across his lips for a few moments -- though it was just long enough for his dimples to make an appearance. Your heart thrummed in response.
"Yes," he replied as he continued sweeping. "I don't work for about six to seven hours every night when I'm asleep."
You hopped down the porch steps, approaching him and reaching out to take the broom from him. You weren't well-versed in many of the tasks it takes to run a ranch, but you could definitely sweep.
"Six to seven doesn't cut it," you admonished as you pushed some stray dirt clods over into the lawn. "You should really be getting at least eight hours of sleep a night."
Namjoon let out a soft chuckle. You didn't realize just how close you were standing to him, but you felt the light touch of his laugh on your cheek.
"If I'm going to take rest and relaxation advice from anyone, it's not going to be you," he murmured.
Now it was your turn to pause and look up at him. You wrinkled your forehead at him and said after a moment, "You know what? You're so valid for that."
Namjoon laughed gently, reaching out and taking the broom from you, his fingers grazing over yours. "Anyway, I didn't ask you to come out here so you can do chores."
Your eyes followed him as he leaned the broom against the porch railing, and you said, "Then why did you ask me to come out here? Did you want to film another video for social media?"
You were teasing him, of course. Being out here in the twilight, just the two of you? Social media was the last thing you wanted to do.
But, unsurprisingly, you had just wanted to see his dimples.
Honestly, you should be concerned with your obsession with Namjoon's dimples, but your teasing question had accomplished your goal -- his dimples were on full display -- and you were too enamored to care.
"No," he grinned. "I wanted to show you something."
Your eyebrows climbed up your forehead. "Is that so?"
Namjoon nodded and nodded his head toward the gazebo. "This way," he murmured.
Of course, your instincts were tugging at you to ask him where he was taking you. But something stopped you. Something else in you overtook your instincts and told you to simply follow him, to wait and see.
Maybe it was the fact that the ranch was so peaceful, especially as the sun was almost done setting. Maybe (hopefully) the peace was contagious.
As the two of you were approaching the gazebo, Namjoon slowed and said, "I figured... since you're helping me with the ranch and everything... I could help you, too."
"Help me? With what?" you asked, preparing to step into the gazebo.
But Namjoon continued walking, leading you past the gazebo out into a large grassy area.
"Help you actually have a real vacation," he explained. "Help you take a moment for yourself and just... relax."
You opened your mouth to retort that he was just as bad as you when it came to relaxing -- maybe even worse since he probably didn't even take weekends off.
"I know," he interrupted before you even said anything, though. "I don't know how to relax either, so I am being just a little selfish. I'm helping you relax and also helping myself in the process. But this is the best I could come up with, okay?"
"Okay," you chuckled, nodding once to show you understood and accepted it.
"Just up here," he murmured as he gestured up to an area of the meadow that was free from trees. You spotted what could only be a blanket laid out on the grass, and your brow furrowed slightly in confusion.
It couldn't be a picnic because you'd just eaten dinner, and there was also no picnic basket. There was nothing else, actually -- just the blanket.
"This," Namjoon began as the two of you approached the blanket. "Is the best spot in the whole ranch for stargazing."
Stargazing!
"No trees to block the view, and the animals don't come out this way --"
"So, no poop," you finished.
"Exactly."
You weren't going to lie: you were just the tiniest bit wary. Seeing as you spent the majority of your time either in your office or in your apartment, it was pretty safe to say you weren't exactly one with nature. But the fact that Namjoon had 1. come up with this plan in the first place and 2. thought to specifically mention there was no chance of encountering cow poop warmed your heart enough to give it a try.
Namjoon held his hand out to help you onto the blanket, and as you crouched down, ignoring the exhilarating feeling of his fingers grasping yours, you warned, "I am not what you would call well-versed in astronomy."
"Don't worry, I've spent enough time out here at night to know a thing or two," he assured you, letting out a quiet groan as he took the spot next to you. And once the two of you had laid down on your backs, he added, "And if there's something I don't know, there's this handy little thing called a smartphone that has all the answers."
You simply chuckled in response as you clasped your hands together on your stomach, crossing your ankles and lifting your gaze skyward.
Your breath caught in your throat. "Oh my god," you gasped. "There are so many. And they're so bright!"
"The benefit of living in the middle of nowhere," Namjoon pointed out.
After taking in as much as you could, you lifted the arm closest to Namjoon and pointed up to three stars in a row. "I know that's Orion, and that's about it," you chuckled.
"Yep," Namjoon confirmed, tilting his head ever so slightly closer to yours. "Orion the Hunter. Those three stars are his belt."
"Where's the rest of him?"
Namjoon lifted his own arm, mapping out a somewhat large circle with his finger. "Right there," he murmured. "See, that's one arm he's lifting up, and there's the other arm with his shield. And then his legs are those two stars down there."
"Ahhhh," you remarked, not wanting to admit you were completely unable to visualize what he'd just pointed out to you. "What else?"
"Well, right up above Orion is Taurus," he said, moving his hand to point out the area above where his shield supposedly was.
"That's a bull, right?" you asked. And when Namjoon hummed positively, you grinned and said "Trish always sends zodiac stuff to the group chat, so I've gotten pretty good at it over the years."
"Gemini is right on the other side there," he told you as he circled the area next to Orion's other (alleged) arm.
"The twins!"
Namjoon chuckled before moving his finger to point at a star nearby that was just a bit brighter than the others. "And that is Mercury."
Your brow furrowed, and you turned your head slightly to glance at him out of the corner of your eye. "Mercury, like the planet?"
"The very one."
You gasped in amazement. "We can see a planet?!"
"Yeah," he answered, grinning. You couldn't see him well enough right now, but you could just tell he was grinning. "We can see all of the planets in the sky, just not all at the same time."
"Wow... I knew there was a lot I didn't know about space, but how did I not know we could see the planets in the sky?"
"You live in a city, right?" Namjoon asked as he set his arm back down beside him.
You nodded and hummed positively.
"You can barely see Orion in a city," he pointed out with a shrug. "How can you know it's a planet if you can't see it?"
"Very true," you sighed. "You don't know what you don't know and all that."
As the minutes ticked by, you learned just how much you didn't know about the stars and the solar system and outer space and the universe -- and how much Namjoon did know. For someone who seemingly had no time to read or do anything but work, the guy was kind of a genius.
Your conversation eventually turned from constellations to the philosophical side of space, and while you should've been sent spinning into an existential crisis at the thought of just how remarkably, incomprehensibly vast the universe was, Namjoon was somehow able to keep you grounded here on Earth. He discussed things passionately but was still level-headed, and that helped to stop you from falling down the rabbit hole.
But then you somehow got onto the topic of current events on your own planet. Somewhat surprisingly, you found that you and Namjoon had very similar values -- not that you thought he was dumb or a bad person. Quite the opposite, actually, especially after tonight. But the two of you led very different lives. It was just very refreshing to find out you weren't as sheltered by city life as maybe you thought you were.
It seemed like Namjoon was just as surprised as you were, though.
"I'm an accountant," you reminded him. "I know finances like the back of my hand, and I understand how corporations work. Of course I don't believe in ethical billionaires."
"I won't lie, I figured you being an accountant would mean the opposite."
"Like I'm obsessed with money?" you chuckled.
"Yeah," he admitted with some guilt in his voice.
"Oh, no, you're not wrong. A lot of accountants are obsessed with money. But some of us -- the good ones -- are just obsessed with numbers and helping people."
He didn't answer immediately, so you turned your head to look at him as the two of you still laid side-by-side on the blanket.
"That... makes a lot of sense, actually. I guess I just never thought about it that way," he told you.
A grin curved your lips, and you said, "So, we're both learning new things tonight, I guess."
"I guess," he chuckled. "But, wow, did we get off-topic."
"You're so right. We were supposed to be relaxing," you grimaced.
Namjoon lifted an arm to check his watch quickly and said, "We still have a little bit of time. How about we just stargaze for two minutes in total silence and then call it a night?"
"Deal."
You yet again rested your hands on top of your stomach, crossed your ankles, and focused your gaze above you.
And you... well, you looked. You looked at the stars. You admired the beauty of the sky. You acknowledged your breathing and tried to keep it steady and deep.
And when you finally couldn't stand it any longer, you whispered, "Has it been two minutes yet?"
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Namjoon look at his watch again.
"...It's been thirty seconds," he whispered back.
You let out a dispirited sigh, but then the corners of your mouth lifted up when you heard Namjoon laughing under his breath.
"What's so funny?" you teased.
"You can't even relax for thirty seconds!" he replied through his laughter.
"Oh, I'm glad you think it's amusing. Tell that to my blood pressure!"
Namjoon stopped laughing abruptly and lifted himself up onto one elbow. "Wait, are you okay?"
Well, actually, no. You were not okay right now because the look on Namjoon's face showed his concern clear as day -- even though it was nighttime. And that made your heart skip about five beats.
"I was joking," you assured him, hoping you'd hidden your breathlessness well enough. "I mean, we're all dying little by little each day, but that's a conversation for another stargazing session."
Namjoon laid back down and blew out an exhale. "One minute," he breathed. "One more minute, and then we can go inside."
"I make no promises, but I'll try," you answered with a smirk.
And even though it felt like it took an eternity, you did it. You were able to lay there in silence for one full minute -- it helped that you closed your eyes.
Honestly, you might have fallen asleep if Namjoon hadn't sat up and said, "Huh.... those clouds don't look friendly."
Your forehead wrinkled, and when you opened your eyes, you almost jumped when you didn't see a singular star in the sky. How had that happened so quickly?
When you sat up, as well, you also realized the wind was starting to pick up.
"Seems like a storm's coming," Namjoon murmured. "You go ahead inside, I'm going to make sure all the animals are in for the night."
Your instinct was to offer to help him, but honestly, if you spent any more time alone with him tonight... you didn't actually want to think about what might happen. Or what you might want to happen.
So, you stood and prepared to head back inside.
The only problem was, with the clouds covering the stars and the moon, it was now almost fully pitch black, and you had no idea how to get back to the house.
"Here," Namjoon murmured, his voice suddenly right next to your ear. "I'll take you back."
Before you could reply, you felt his hand circling your forearm... and then sliding down until his fingers grasped yours.
Oh great.
As Namjoon held your hand in the dark, leading you back to the house with softly mumbled directions, you were definitely thinking about what you wanted to happen.
This was not good.
(...Or was it?)
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dandelion-system · 2 days ago
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Hello!
I’m not sure of the extent of our covert-ness, as a couple of people have said after our diagnosis that they ‘had a feeling something was going on’. But, nobody ever bought it up before our diagnosis, except the occasional snarky comment from my mum that I acted like ‘a 2 year old’ sometimes or I was just ‘not the dandy she knew’
But other than that- im reckoning that we were pretty covert.
I (Raven) haven’t been around as long as some of the others, so I’m gonna go off what they’re telling me. But according to them, when we were physically younger, we would very, very frequently have conversations with, arguments with, debates with ourself using we/us pronouns. As a kid we just told ourself we were using the royal we, and woke did it when we were alone. But we did it. Lots of disagreements over food and clothes and what games to play or shows to watch- and also a lot of ‘mum is gonna kill us’ ‘stop being so dramatic ugh look at us!’ ‘Why am I talking like this?’ ‘I’m just gonna be quiet for a bit now.’
I wasn’t aware back then that these were alters, but it’s the earliest I can say that we have been communicating.
Come our early teen years, and this I remember doing myself because I was a little weirdo as a 13 year old- we got really into spirituality, both the meditation kind and the ghosts kind. I think it was me and Cass, and I was more ghost and Cassie was more meditation. Anyway, I was like, 90% sure we were haunted, and I would talk to the ghosts in my head. I was hanging around some witchy people at the time so I was completely convinced this was normal. Cassie did a lot of visualisation meditation, and she got actual VISUALS! she met up with Sasha most, but saw some others. I don’t know and she’s asleep so I won’t bother her.
Pre system discovery, communication was not exactly easy or something we understood. Post discovery, it’s been a bit better. We’re still covert, except for the people who know our diagnosis.
The thing that started making us think about being a system was actually a psychology class. We were doing a childhood unit and talking about how emotional needs need to be met for regular development, and I started thinking, and I started realising that we actually had a really rough time of it. A bunch of circumstances and bad environments had likely led us to develop a bunch of the ‘irregular’ behaviours we were studying in class. We’ve always been curious, so we started looking at patterns in behaviours.
Eventually, we found that the only things we could see a pattern in was memory loss. This led us to discovering dissociation and how it can cause amnesia.
Fast forward a bit, and we’re looking into things that cause dissociation and consider DID. The host at the time starts noting shifting food preferences, shifting gender, shifting opinions and feeling of what age we were, shifting priorities, likes and dislikes. It’s a while before anything comes of this, but we start noticing patterns. We always feel x, y, z at the same time, for example one of our alters, who we still struggle to distinguish we sorta have a checklist almost? Feels like a boy, but not fully, loves the rain, hates milk, feels 14.
Some alters have been easier to communicate with than others just due to willingness to be seen and heard. Others still try and hide away from front, mask as ‘host’ or pretend to be another alter so they don’t get noticed.
I think I may have rambled a bit so I’m sorry about that. I think overall, what I’m saying is that it’s been a journey to be able to communicate with parts, even after being diagnosed for two years and knowing about the system for three. Some parts still won’t communicate, some that used to now refuse, and some like myself have slowly been able to get more confident in talking. But it’s really fluid. Sometimes it’s like no one is there at all, and sometimes it’s like there’s 5 or 6 of us in front, and it’s so loud then. Sometimes I can see them trying to talk to me, or feel it? But not hear it. Sometimes I can hear it but can’t see it. Sometimes we need to be dissociated to communicate properly. Sometimes it takes a lot of focus to communicate. It’s going to be different for each alter, too. I can almost always communicate with James and the few littles that always hang around, but I’m not so great when it comes to other alters.
I guess it all just comes down to patience. And not being afraid to get it wrong. Anyway, I hope this was helpful and not just a big old ramble haha. I hope you’re okay too!
Any systems who were very Covert before discovery how did you discover/start communicating with your parts?
Anymore resources or personal experience would be helpful to me, whether through this post, or my ask box if you want to remain anon
Note: i do not know any confirmed names or information about them please do not give me resources that only contribute to already established/known parts, thank you.
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katierosefun · 6 months ago
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Hello :))) So, i was today years old when i learned you had a girlfriend (if i’m not mistaken) and somehow it means a lot to me as you’re one of my comfort blog and that i’ve been struggling with my own sexuality for a while. (I hope it does not come off as weird this is really not my intention 😭) So i was wondering if you would mind sharing how you two met as i love hearing about queer love stories coming from real people and not only in fiction (somehow i need to be reminded that yes, it can happen in real life too for me??) If and only if you’re comfortable doing so of course!!!
aww hi anon! first of all, thank you so much for the kind words--i'm so glad to hear that my blog is a source of comfort for you. and also, re: your sexuality--i'm sending you so much love! i know how scary and how overwhelming it can be to still be figuring out your sexuality and navigating your own queerness, so please remember to have some compassion for yourself, and please know that you're not alone.
as for my girlfriend: yes! i do in fact have one, and we've been together for a little over a year and a half now. we'll be going on two years pretty soon, which is all very exciting!
as for how we met: it's all a pretty funny story, because we actually met while we were both in college. and also right during that first covid summer too. we started off as long-distance friends, bonding our love for star wars and writing.
anyways, i totally had a crush on her, although i was trying to play it off most of the time. the fact that we lived in separate cities was another factor too, of course.
fast forward to a few years later, when we've both graduated college. i've just started my first year of law school; she's working at this point. we're still texting and calling each other a bit, and then i tell her, oh yeah, i'm going out on a date with this guy.
and just like something from a kdrama or a movie or something, this ridiculous, lovely woman texts me as i'm boarding the bus for my date. her text? hey, i dreamed about you last night! we were sitting on a park bench together and we were holding hands :)
and of course, at this point, i still have a disastrous crush on her (hence why i spent a lot of time dating all these random guys in my junior and senior year of college, because i was like i gotta just get over this), but anon, that text message was the other shoe dropping on my brain. i decided right then and there that enough is enough, i'm gonna call her tomorrow and tell her i like her, so she can't just say stuff like that anymore because i don't think i can take it anymore.
so we arrange to have a phone call the next day, and we chat, and of course, true to form, i have to have some liquid courage on me (peach soju, btw . . . but turns out, if you're jittery enough, you don't even feel the alcohol, because i still remember every detail). anyways, at some point, we're chatting, and then i blurt out, "i like you."
and she goes, "i like you too."
and i went, "no, i mean i like you more than a friend. as in i like you."
and she goes, "uh, yeah. i like you to do. the feeling's mutual."
and of course, i didn't know what to say to that. like, i swear i was just like "??? what?" because the thing is, i had this whole speech planned out in my head--something like i like you, and you don't like me like that, so i'm sorry that this is awkward, and i can just take care of my own feelings, but i just really needed to say that so that we're both on the same page--
so to say i was pretty stunned would be an understatement! so cue a lot of laughter and flustering, and fast forward to today, with her living with me for the summer (because of course, she'll need to go back to work and i'll have to go back to school once august hits), and we talk about how many pets we're going to have one day (she has this hobby of sending me videos of increasingly exotic animals and going "??? so can we have this as a pet? :)"), and we've talked about what our wedding is going to be like (as well as what our wedding will not be like) . . .
this is just a whole lot of details, but as you might be the first one to ask me about this lovely person on this webbed site, of course i'm going to ramble and gush--but anon, to give you some hope here, queer love is a beautiful thing and it certainly happens.
personally, i would love to go back in time and find my sad high school self and go "hey, hang in there, because you're gonna be lucky enough to finally fall in love with someone who's kind and warm and patient and loving, and she's going to encourage you to be a better person, and she's going to make friends with literally every single stranger on the street (much to your partial exasperation and partial wonder), and she's going to be really bad at staying hydrated, and she's going to take so many photographs of everything, and she's going to make friendship bracelets on your bed, and she's going to almost fight the secretary at a dentist's office for you (while you tug at her sleeve and go come on, i'm fine, let's just go), and she's going to recite and write poetry that you keep both on your walls and also in your head, and her grandma is going to show you the dorkiest photos she has of this silly, lovely, beautiful person who you love."
so: all that to say, anon, i hope that gave you some hope! it's such a long journey for some of us, but i promise that queer love is out there and healthily alive, and yeah, sometimes they're just as good (or even better) than those that you find in fiction :)
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justalittlebluetiefling · 4 months ago
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I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.
#personal#move back to your small hometown they said#it'll be fun they said#me chanting over and over again:#if you live here you get to see your family all the time#(this is a good thing for me i love my brother and his family)#dude honestly this whole thing is just hilarious at this point#anyway newest drama is that one of the parents thinks it's suspicious that i 'quit' the same time my best friend moved away#the shit that is being said about us right now??? fucking wild#i haven't told any of those kids why i really left because they don't need me to be gossiping about their current coach to them#that would be so unprofessional of me#i say like she wasn't spreading rumors about me to THEM directly last year#we are all in our 30s here why are we acting like fucking teenagers still#i'm about to be real petty when i go visit next week though#'oh my god you won't believe what i heard crystal is telling people at her salon'#to the coach not the kids lol#i have a sneaking suspicion that the she is involved in this gossip in an adjacent way not directly#and i want her to think about the shit she says before she says it#she's mad that i don't want to coach jv when i told her multiple times i don't want to run my own program#and that i'd be happy to help her out as an assistant coach but that having to deal with parents is my worst actual nightmare#see what's happening right now#literally the only reason i applied is because i love those kids and they were all freaking out about my friend leaving#because they thought their current coach was also going to be leaving#and i was like hey i won't leave you guys don't worry#it's her fault that she chose not to include me in any of her brainstorming for next year#if she really wanted me to be involved she would have been talking to me about it back in april#i'm literally barely pulling myself out of my grief hole about losing coaching#and i could have stayed around but i would have been miserable#because it wouldn't have been in the capacity that i really wanted#oof okay i feel a little better after venting a bit
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kawaiianimeredhead · 4 days ago
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Learned today I'm basically the cause of a 2 or 3yo boy who went around making fart sounds with his mouth saying he was breathing like a turtle and I think I'll be riding this high for days tbh
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happyk44 · 5 months ago
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It's kinda funny because w/ my Zeus kid OC (who I've been thinking about renaming as Araceli, 'cause it means altar of the sky, apparently, which I like 'cause sky-themed-ish but also like. A little bit I wanted something that meant cloud the way Coral's name means... Coral) the implication is that she takes after her father to an almost mirroring degree because I developed her and my other PJO OCs (who also all got retconned into an OG work) at the same time I was playing around with my ideas on the Big Six, and the gist at the time was supposed to show how the Big Six could've turned out if they weren't so weird.
So the dynamics of the friendship was supposed to be very similar to the dynamics of Big Six's relationship to each other (e.g. Mary having a major crush on Hera's "representative" but also being attracted to literally every other person that walked by, Nico being the soberminded big brother figure, etc). It's also one of the reasons Mary would get angry whenever someone would compare to her dad, because similarly I think Zeus would get angry if someone compared him to his dad.
And then eventually as I got older and the daydream moved around with whatever obsession I had at the time, the characters and general storyline began to change away from that in some ways but core features sort of stayed and so I ended up with a version of Zeus that ignores his daughter's pleas for help because he loves her but her pain hurts him because he can't do anything about it and it's his fault she's suffering.
She got this intensity from him, it's ingrained into the way it's ingrained in him. But he was able to rebuild the world according to his own needs and wants and beliefs. And she can't really do that. So he doesn't have any advice he can give her when she's on her knees begging for help with all the noise and pain in her head. He doesn't know what to do! It's like he can just go and rip it out of her.
But she's suffering because she's different and she's weird and she knows it and she knows it's his fault which is why she's asking but he just doesn't know and he can't handle watching her suffering and listening to her cry when there is no helpful answer to give her because "I don't know" isn't going to fix it.
He's supposed to fix things, he's supposed to have the answers. He's king of the world, by damn! He's a problem solver. He supposed to have a solution, and a million backup solutions. But he doesn't! There's nothing he can do to make the noise stop because truth be told, the noise never really stopped for him! It just got easier and quieter. So he turns away from her because he loves her and he's failing her and he can't handle that.
But also in the same breath, I think he recognizes similar aspects of himself in Jason, who isn't even asking for help, and fucking despises him for it, lol.
✨ Girl Dad ✨
#could be a jupiter vs zeus thing too#zeus is more in touch with his emotions so he's able to love his kids and empathize with their pain#but jupiter eschews emotion to focus fully on logic and rationale and winds up being disgusted by anything that shows he's flawed#like i think zeus definitely hates any implication that he's flawed#but in this case it's more like while his inability to stop his daughter's suffering makes him feel flawed#his love for his daughter takes precedence so he doesn't hate her for it. he just hates himself for not being able to fix it.#but jupiter doesn't really have that affection for jason because maybe he just lacks affection im general#so jason showcasing any behaviour that may indicate an inherent flaw in jupiter is seen as despicable#and so jason and any internal/external pain he may experience because of this flaw isn't viewed favourably#it could also be that jason is more willing to call him on his shit where mary/araceli was just like bitch i hate you so much please kill m#like she definitely doesn't agree with all her dad's actions but she kind of gets where he's coming from with certain things#where i don't think jason is able to view that in other people either#like all three of them view things in a very black and white autistic sort of way#but jason lacks the cognitive empathy to understand why a person may feel or behave a certain way#i love when i go insane in the tags#thats fun#anyway#happy talks about his stories#happy talks pjo#zeus (pjo)#jason grace#i will come up with a tag for my zeus girl at some point#also for araceli the original character has always been seen as hispanic/latino which is why i wanted a name that made that obvious#so if anyone has any hispanic/latino sky-themed names they'd like to share lemme know because the baby name websites were very short
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sherlock-is-ace · 8 months ago
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.
#welcome to another installment of: angel spits out all his thoughts about autism cause if he keeps them inside his head will explode#in today's episode: is it possible that my ''panic attacks'' have been autistic meltdowns all this time?#then answer is maybe!#ok so i was watching this youtube video from channel I'm autisticn now what? (check it out it's great!)#and meg was talking about the different types of autistic meltdowns and how they might manifest#and then in the comments people were discussing autistic meltdowns vs panic attacks and how cofused they used to be about them#and that got me thinking... there's a big thing that needs to happen during a panic attack for it to be a panic attack#and that is anxious thoughts... many people talk about fear of death during panic attacks#and that was never my experience. I don't feel like I'm going to die when I have these ''attacks''#they feel painful and like i'm completely out of control but my head is quite clear in that regard#i always thought it was because i don't think dying is like The Worst thing that could happen to me so maybe that was why#and it never ocurred to me that it could be an autistic meltdown because i always saw those as ''little boy hits his head against the wall'#(horrible i know) but it's more than that! (plus i sadly started self harming when the ''attack'' is too bad so not i fit that idea lol)#it's the uncontrollable crying. the throwing anything you have at hand across the room. the not being able to utter words#(other than ''no'' in my case) it's the complete lack of control#and that fits so much more to what i experience! i even related to meg's personal anecdote about a meltdown she had as a child#being separated from my mom made me go into full panic modes as a kid and that was seen as a tantrum but it was more than that to me!#and as an added bonus the only therapist i've ever seen in my life used to call my panic attacks ''pseudo-panic attacks''#because even she felt it didn't quite fit in the description (not that she was a good therapist so i can't put her as an example lol)#but anyways... yeah every day that goes by i'm more and more convinced I am autistic and it scares me to fucking death#because of the way my mom reacted when i first raised the question. so yeah this is for nothing lol nothing will change in my life#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#angel talks#personal
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perilegs · 2 years ago
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i think i'm the perfect family gathering babysitter bc i LOVE hearing people just go off about whatever topic and children LOVE doing that
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welpnotagain · 2 years ago
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I wrote out like two quite long posts. Anyway it boils down to:
If you post something online, especially a subjective opinion, you are opening yourself up to be disagreed with. This is to be expected. You are not alone on the internet and it is not reasonable to act like you are receiving hate and/or are "being cancelled" simply because people are disagreeing with you. If you think your opinion is entitled to stay entirely unopposed you probably shouldn't post it.
#this is about something that happened to me like 3 years ago on tumblr and i just randomly thought about it and was annoyed#it was about some like mid twenties woman that was arguing about how great tiktok is and how most of the people that disliked it only did#so bc it was popular to do so. kinda like what happened with justin Bieber when he was a kid.#and my response was something along the lines of 'that might be true but there are a lot of things to dislike about tiktok as a company and#how the app is being used as a radicalisation tool and how it's algorithm promotes that bc that is what keeps people on the app etcetc'#and she went Off on me how i was clearly misinterpreting her points and how i talked down to her and how entitled i was#bc i wanted to farm notes by stating popular opinions and how tt haters were so annoying bc so many other people had also disagreed#and i should have just gone through the notes and reblogged one of those argumentstions instead of writing my own#and like??? girly why can you say what you think but i can't even agree with you to some extent but then point out flaws of an app not even#your opinion! anyway. i saw her response in my activity tab and apparently she blocked me but the @ still showed up for me so I actually#had to open her rant in an incognito tab so I could really get the whole 'yeah that IS the worst faith interpretation of anything i have#ever said'#well whatever. it just randomly popped baxk into my head and i was annoyed about the me yes but You?! no attitude
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