#anyways off to cry about them again
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aziraphale was crowley's precious, peaceful, and fragile existence
#im so sorry#gos2 spoilers#go2 spoilers#good omens 2#crowley#aziraphale#go s2#good omens season 2#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#anyways off to cry about them again#thanks neil
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There's only one person I truly hate with all my being
#and its some random bitch from the internet#fuck you jackal#talking about how I started hating him would require TRIGGER WARNINGS.#he almost made me fail my freshman ELA class because I had to spend all hour comforting my friends who he hurt#then all was forgiven because “he's a kid! he can change!” i never forgave him and he never truly changed#he tried to tell lies about me to my friends#and. for context. this was on discord#it was a community where I was one of the 3 pillars of it. and I'm close with the other 2.#me C and H were the people people wanted to be friends with. or wanted to *be*. we were the top 3 of everyone! and im not being conceded.#twas a small community#I was known for being skilled! but also. people thought I was kind. (some people thought I was bossy because I was kinda strict)#< (strict being I don't tolerate bullying or slurs at any capacity.#but so. when Jackal lied to H. H knew it was bullshit.#anyways Jackal stuck around somehow even tho everyone KNEW. The Jackal Situation was an ARC in that server.#anyways C made Jackal a mod over a year later bc la-de-da-de-da people can change~ and he wasn't a dick. for about 5 minutes.#he got fired today and i was fucking ECSTATIC#I hate him#he thinks hes hot shit. he's hot garbage is what he is#he's so tone deaf and abused power constantly#i never stepped in because I have such a strong hatred that i can never be fair to him again#im permanently against him. he'll never ever gain any respect from me.#he lied. he baited us. he made my friends spend so many sleepless nights crying. he tried to make them die by saying theyd go together.#i saw through it.#anyways I like to believe I have a good judge of character bc he always made me uneasy#he gifted me nitro and was polite before baiting us. but i was like. ehhhh. what's wrong w him?#anyways he's a pissed off bastard now#anyways heres some previous life drama hooray
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The compelling thing about Jason as a character is that I never doubted that he cared about the world just because there weren’t panels of him being overly zealous about “restorative community care”
I’m not coming after anyone who wants to see that kind of stuff, but I do think seeking | that | as confirmation that Jason cares about the world is pretty narrow
#shoving an arc like that into his comics to “show he cares about people”#after having him repeatedly say things like “nothing I ever did was for good. it was all just selfish anger” in recent comics#would be the final nail in the “see! he's redeeming himself! he CAN be likable!” coffin (pathetic)#it's literally what his antis have been suggesting would make his character “so much better”#kelseethe#see also: “people would have a hard time knowing whether Jason loves them”#why did he gift Thomas' watch to Bruce all those years later + possibly even after utrh happened#why is he always silently forgiving the shitty treatment from his family almost like he wants to maintain some sort of relationship w/ them#as for “showing that he cares about the world”#the most obvious “evidence” is right there#why would he continue to fight tooth and nail to have a place in Gotham as a vigilante#both warding off and enduring harassment after harassment from Bruce while hearing the same message every time#“hey. you're doing this to yourself. you can make it all go away if you just do as I say and quit for good.”#“you'll even get to be my son again”#it’s not like he gets recognition/praise for doing what he does either unlike Bruce Dick or Tim#what could possibly be in it for him#wouldn't it be that much easier to “not give a crap about the world” on a beach in Capri instead of in the Gotham sewers every month#anyway Jason should decapitate rapists and poison more child traffickers and not cry about it five seconds after
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Okay okay so listen. Hastings? He Brings Poirot some pajamas and a razor for his stay, right? normal stuff. yes. normal enough.
aagh and look at their hands touching!
and this little look as their hands touch??? EXCUSE ME LADS?? ahem sorry what anyway
But Poirot is staying in the room someone was murdered in
AND HASTINGS. BLESS 'IM. HE'S. WORRIED ABOUT POIROT
AND HE LINGERS FOR A MOMENT. EVEN AFTER POIROT ASSURES HIM THAT EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE
Listen, Poirot. Hastings isn't just there saying stuff about worrying about you because he's afraid of ghosts. I mean. he *is* afraid of ghosts. But the man walked into a room with a gun earlier ready to protect his friends because he's pretty damn fearless. POIROT, LISTEN TO ME. HASTINGS IS TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT HE'S LONELY AND HE MISSES YOU BUT HE CAN'T THINK OF HOW TO SAY IT BECAUSE ALL HE CAN DO IS BRING YOU PYJAMAS AND TELL YOU TO BE CAREFUL OKAY IT'S ALL HE KNOWS HOW TO DO
but of course Poirot has already decided that Hastings doesn't care for him like that so there's nothing for him to read into but LISTEN POIROT I CAN SEE THE WRITING ON THE WALL I KNOW WHY HE STAYED
I'm losign my mindhggfajhgkjagslkf
#Hastings didn't want to leave Poirot alone in that room!! but in the end he was too chicken to offer staying in there with him!!!#Because he's not supposed to offer to do things like that!! But! But! Hastings!! Probably hasn't felt normal!!#For a very long time!! And finally his friend Poirot is there to visit him and he's suddenly feeling at ease!!#Finally someone is there who understands him!! Who knows what he's been through! His dearest friend!!#AND HE CAN'T EVEN SPEND EVERY WAKING SECOND WITH HIM! Because apparently that isn't what 'normal men' DO#'Normal men' are supposed to go off and get married and have children#and when their wives send them literally **out of the continent** because they '''''''need a break''''''#'normal men' don't cry about it or ask to stay in their best friends' room at night!!#but maybe. just maybe. In that moment. as he lingered. Hastings was tempted to throw caution into the wind! to ask to stay anyway!#BUT HE COULDN'T BECAUSE SOCIETAL PRESSURE! UGH#HASTINGS! POIROT! YOU TWO! NEED TO KISS ABOUT THIS!! OR I **SWEAR**!!!#8.2 Murder in Mesopotamia#Poirot#Poirot series#poirot x hastings#hastirot#back on my screencapping bullshit again
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i feel as if im going mad so im going to just put this out here. real quick. movieunleashers starters ramble.
i cant stop thinking about how mudkip broke down in that one scene in "Typomaniac," when Chespin called him mean. for a second he lets his mask slip a little bit and to me he just... acts his age. he starts crying and calls chespin mean back. maybe im just hyperfocusing on this one detail but mudkip is about 12 years old.
and that just makes me wonder what happened in this guys life that brought him to where he is now. and it makes it all the more tragic how his whole world revolves around chespin, but he is the one bringing him the most pain. and how young he was when he died.
there is a large theme of growing up in "Rare Candy." the characters ages are emphasized in that particular episode, and one of the main conflicts is fennekin wanting to evolve faster.
the thing about characters in these stories is that they're not allowed to just be kids, to have a childhood. so many bad things happen to them. like. mudkips whole, Everything. fennekin when she was famous in typomaniac, or dealing with her own insecurities/pressure from society about her relationship w chespin. and chespin always having to shoulder his friends problems & always somehow managing to stay positive despite everything.
why cant they just. play video games. eat ice cream or something. go to the movies
at the end of the day, i think both mudkip and fennekin are characters who grew up too fast. by distancing himself from them, chespin refused to follow in their footsteps and just wanted to stay a kid.
good for him.
#starters movieunleashers#rambles#long post#mudkip starters#fennekin starters#chespin starters#NOT TO SAY THAT BEING 12 YEARS OLD ABSOLVES YOU OF ALL CRIME BUT GOOD GOD#i honestly think it was good for chespin to distance himself from them??? especially mudkip. holy cow#he seemed... happier(?) in wild oranberries but tbf its hard to say for sure#bc chespin loves doing this thing called “lying”#also. i saw the end credits sequence#not sure how to feel about it i do not have enough information to go off of#but i suppose itll make more sense... all in due time#but going back to what i said earlier i think the issues a lot more complicated#i worry about chespin that boys friendship is basically just “i can fix him!” like girl. no#THEY ALL NEED THERAPY#INCLUDING THE GANG FROM LAVENDER TOWN#*ESPECIALLY* THOSE GUYS#please. ill cry#i cant help but think this will all end in tragedy#i hope mudkip gets a good ending or at least a bittersweet one#like again. he kills people. but hes also like not even in high school and i feel bad for all of them#anyways IM SORRH GOR YHE LONG RAMBLE I RLLY LIKE THIS SERIES??? AND THIS THOUGHT WAS EATING ME ALIVE SO I RLLY WANTED TO SAY IT#hey gang. new hyperfixation#hm. i should also mention the “watching his close friend die on front of him and feeling responsible for it” to the list of chespins traumas#i domt think fennekin was a “bad friend” as much as i think she just had her owm things toing on#and its entirely chespins choice to dostance himself from her
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Despite how much I suffered making my last isat au Aris sprite redraw, I decided to do it again and once again went through hell doing it. There’s like a billion mistakes in this (such as her having the wrong arm rip) but at the end of the day I’m still happy with how it turned out :]
#keese draws#oc#oc art#eternal gales#isat#in stars and time#sorry for main tagging feel free to excecute me if you want or whatever#grips sink cringe is dead cringe is dead cringe is dead#anyways this is a very fuzzy and vague au as I don’t rly feel comfortable going off too hard with this one#this is pretty much entirely because I know I’d have to fuck around with the worldbuilding a decent amount and I don’t rly wanna do that#Isat’s worldbuilding is one of my favorite parts of isat so I don’t wanna fuck it up yknow?#I might do some other sprite redraws once I stop thinking too hard abt aris and tali#for context tali is the king aka complicated design that makes me wanna cry especially since I made it worse by changing her imagery#instead of having tears as a thing she has like. fracturing if that makes sense?#it’s supposed to be a nod to her ��cracked’ eye in canon#she also has threads coming from her limbs instead of long hair for similar reasons#also she doesn’t have straight hair so yknow#but yeah for additional context aris and tali are half sisters and they make me go insane#in this au the idea would be that when their grandparents divorced when the two were little tali and their grandma left the island#aris wouldn’t leave until five or so years later when she was around 12#at which point the island disappeared and all that#the two have mostly completely forgotten about eachother but there still is familiarity between them#tali isn’t any less of a piece of shit than the king in this au tho#aris for a brief moment almost remembers who tali is during act 3 but she dies before she can fully grasp it#which almost hurts more to her despite not even knowing what she was trying to recall#during act 5 her inner sadness fight is against the hazy image of a very young tali 👍#just tiny 5 year old tali using the voices of the others to scream at aris that she’s been nothing but a burden to them all#and that she’s done nothing but hurt them in her selfish attempts to fix a problem that she refuses to admit she caused#and that time and time again she’s lied that she’s doing her best to protect them and that she’s failed all of them#it’s a mix of current guilt and her hazy but longstanding guilt towards tali
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i think all those autism vlogging youtube channels that post distressing videos of their children having meltdowns and intense panic attacks for thousands and thousands of people to see should be deleted and banned off the website and i am not kidding. i don't care what excuse they use whether it's "oh no it's for education purposes! so clearly posting our kids in state of extreme emotional and mental distress is okay 😊" or some other excuse, it's not okay to post your kids in what can be a very vulnerable and embarrassing state to be in for the whole internet to see. don't even come at me with that "they asked for the videos to be posted!" rubbish kids cannot consent to that no matter how intelligent or informed they are about the consequences of those videos going online. children cannot and should not consent to those videos going up and it pisses me off that the blatant exploitation of children and disabled people is still normalised and excused like this. cause that's what it is. it's exploitative of the vulnerable no matter how much it swears it's trying to be educational. 99% of the time the only reason these kinds of videos are online is to get clicks and views and money and it's disgusting.
#they are literally the exploitative family vlogging channels of the autistic community i hate them i hate them#yes this is specifically about the autism family channel#i legit hate that fuckin channel so so so so much#WHY are you posting your children having meltdowns and panic attacks and making their crying faces the fucking thumbnails#don't you fuckin tell me it's for education purposes. you KNOW what you're doing with those titles and thumbnails.#you're looking for people to click because ohhh look it's a disabled person!! and they're in extreme distress!!! how controversial!!!#also another thing that pisses me off is that this often never happens to neurotypical people#(which it shouldn't anyway but that's not the point)#but if people were going around recording their neurotypical kids crying people would be more upset about it#they would go ''hey that's not fucking ok to post your kids crying on youtube don't do that''. as they should#but the MOMENT it's an autistic child and the channel owner makes the typical ''its for education'' excuse#people are suddenly like ''omg i feel so bad for your and your kids thank you for posting this '' yadda yadda yadda#it's the same exact shit as the former it just has a different coat of paint#i refuse to believe anyone who willingly posts their kids in a highly distressed state that should be kept PRIVATE#to the whole fucking internet actually cares about educating people#we have seen this time and time again where kids in emotional distress were posted online#and the people posting them turned out to be exploiting their children for money and clicks#i genuinely believe this is the same exact situation happening here#if you need to film your kids crying for education so badly that should only be kept between you and a medical professional.#not posted on the damn internet while you zoom in on your child's distressed face in the thumbnail.#autistic people are not fucking zoo animals stop treating us like them#autism#autistic#ableism#disability#disability rights#it must be made illegal to post disabled people in states of distress and the consequence is an incredibly hefty fine#and the money goes to the disabled person who was illegally posted online
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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It appears I have once again failed to notice the obvious "villainous character may have been fake crying in impactful interaction with other character for manipulation" option, probably for autism reasons. However, I will maintain that I was also right to ignore it because it's less interesting than the alternative.
Like I get the whole "ooohh incoming plot twist/betrayal" intrigue but come on. Look me in the face and say that's more compelling than the "character who has before shown no convincing empathy is suddenly hit exactly in their empathy weak spot and has no idea how to deal." Especially a schemer character who is used to perfectly controlling themselves. Now they have a weakness! That's a problem for them! It throws a wrench in their plans and they have to adapt! That's more fun than the villain's plan going off perfectly, surely.
#Especially in this case where the “weakness” is around character B suffering through something similar to character A's childhood trauma#and character A's only two murders (that we know of) were family members heavily implied to have treated them very badly#it's framed like a pure power grab on the show#but if we believe that just having to recount their childhood (and watching another character have to face it) makes them actually cry#that adds layers to those first deaths#which again is more interesting than just waiting for a lie to pay off#also the lie theory doesn't make sense as they are pulling this alleged gambit in front of a character that mocks “weakness” in everyone#so affecting vulnerability makes sense with a character inclined to want to help others but not with a character inclined to sneer at them#it's a needless risk#A reason some people may assume evil characters are always faking emotion is because they think genuine emotion is for “good people”#and if one can understand why a character did something or acknowledges that the character has *some* people they don't want to hurt#that means one condones their overall behavior/likes them as a person#anyway the show is#house of the dragon#and the character is#larys strong#in that first scene he has talking to Aegon about living with a disability
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not now babe im crying over the stupid niche average historical fiction books i found in the bowels of my local library that have a band of characters i love more than my own soul and have grown so attached to that i ache
#this series was REALLY good. it had so much heart?? and every character you just adored#i know wHY the last book did what it did and it did it pretty well#but the slow breakdown of the found family really got to me#i am crying yes thanks for asking#definitley in the 'think about these books at random times and get misty eyed' category#i have the 'post-book hollow' feelings#i will miss them. i will miss them so much and i WILL reread them but you never get that first read feeling again#if i wrote gabe/theo fic would you read it if you had no idea what was going on???? just asking#scott street is on REPEAT rn. after reading this.#anyway. dont be a stranger - fuck?? off????
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some people are so mean for no reason. which i knew. but still.
#specifically. as a bug lover. people go out of their way all the time#to squish a bug in front of me or tell me about all the bugs they like to kill and things like that#knowing that it upsets me to hear things like that. and then they make fun of me when i cry#i don’t get it i really don’t#one of my other coworkers called me down to look at the ‘giant scary bug’ that was allegedly ‘chasing’ her (it was a pill bug)#so i escorted the bug outside and she was like making fun of me the whole time#she then proceeded to tell me about all kinds of bugs she’s killed lately and even a baby snake#i thought i actually about to start crying again i couldn’t even politely excuse myself i haf to just walk away#and then she calls after me and i was like what. thinking maybe she might apologize for how upset she obviously made me#and she just starts complaining about how her foot hurts#maybe it was mean but i said i don’t care and kept walking away#and then she said she was going to go out and squish that bug just to spite me#like??? that’s just not funny. it’s literally so easy to be respectful of other people#like you wouldn’t make those jokes about a cat or a dog so why is it okay when it comes to bugs or worms or snakes or rats or any other#creature that isn’t ’appealing’ to you#it just really upsets me. the way people treat bugs and other animals#and then use it against me knowing damn well how much it upsets me to hear that stuff#and make fun of me for getting upset? i’m the ‘weird one’ or i’m ’too sensitive’#like it’s not funny. it’s just not. it’s fucking rude and it pisses me off#people like. my sister. are okay#i know she doesn’t like bugs but she respects that i do#so i try to be respectful in return. she lets me talk about my favorite bugs to an extent#and i leave out the details i know she’s especially sensitive to#i never just send her a picture of a bug i always ask if it’s okay first#it’s so easy to just not be an asshole i don’t know why it’s so hard for some people..#anyways. if you don’t like bugs that’s fine. i encourage you to learn more about them#because i think a lot of people just don’t like that they don’t understand them#but if you can’t then that’s also fine. please just don’t be a jerk to those of us that like bugs#this has been my rant for the evening thank you everyone for coming. dies.#snow.txt
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something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.
#im playing it all cool and funny now but atm i legit burst into tears lol#like he said i have a 'good voice too of course' but i know realistically that is not my strongest asset#and even if i were technically perfect. which im NOT lol. the voice itself is just nothing special. it's there ig but that's about it#but its nice to know i may not be 100% useless after all#(just 90%)#also apparently the most feared and respected professor who came to the concert said. again. that he likes me the most.#which again. crying real actual tears about this all rn this means literally the world to me this is everything i have#and i have no one to share this with because im not gonna say it to my uni friend cause i dont want her to feel like im boasting or sth#(even tho she has no such qualms herself but probably because i know how. not great. it feels when someone keeps talking about themselves#and about how great they are and how easy everything is for them. i dont wanna do it back at her.#well there's also the fact that i dont think im great and this is not fucking easy to me at all lol#but idk i think the difference between us is that she actually admitted she sees no point in singing if she cant show off (thus she hates#the duet we're singing because she sings the lower part and cant show off her high notes or coloratura.#which is like. an insane take to me. i mean it i get it. kinda. if i had a voice like hers maybe id be like that too fuck knows.#but that just feels so. idk. sad to me. so self obsessed and empty. like you dont care about the music itself? about you being a part of it?#also immediately made singing with her not fun anymore. i thought we were creating something TOGETHER. but thanks for the confirmation#that you only really care about being 'better than'. yikes.#like idk this behaviour is funny and iconic in old school opera legends like yes go bite each others dicks off.#but it hits completely different when it's your own colleague let alone your friend. like damn girl. damn)#) anyway. the husband is kinda hot too now that i think of it. i really should seduce them both.#except its realistically not possible since they've both seen me cry now (she saw it like a hundred times lol)#so ive lost the hot and mysterious card alas. no uni professors romance for me
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Please, do not be frightened (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#I need someone to touch ZEX gently Right Now or I'll cry ;;#Just kidding I'll cry if it happens too lol#I guess Bones technically did check him over and treated him quite gently - I cried at that scene so that tracks haha#Really that was more the quiet rage that Bones felt on ZEX's behalf hh <3#Continually continually impressed by everyone's writing ahh! So moving <3#Anyhow - skipping to the next night after ZEX's ''surgery'' which actually that implies bad things for DAX uhhhh#Just to avoid meeting with Max - yet - since he woke up right after this#Spoilers! As if more than like two people know what I'm even talking about lol#Although there's also the thought of both Max and Dex ''waking up'' at the same time hgh#One last little glance at each other from beyond the veil before they slip away again#I feel Normal about them I Swear#I've been thinking about ZEX's greeting and him just barely able to keep from capping it off with his usual comfort#VUX are scary! And Max very much is not haha he is cute and unintimidating and ZEX can get away with an awful lot in his body#Firstly he just blends in which is new to him! He can get close and snuggly and not really be taken very seriously#He's pretty! He's slight and cute and just not very threatening-looking! Even the more tired he gets - the older he appears - still small#That changes a bit after his eye is removed and he's visibly scarred - people look at him differently#Still pitiful - kicked puppy a bit haha Max will always cut something of a pathetic figure <3#But I do think it's an interesting intersection of fear - intimidation? Discomfort? Concern?#He's not being viewed as a VUX still but there's Something Other about him at a glance not just when you approach him#DAX of course is just worried :( He'd do anything to protect his Admiral!#Impotence on both sides - one of protecting himself and the other of protecting someone he cares about so much! Weh#Also do you like DAX's hair getting messy hehe ♪ Hair is so confusing! Hard to take care of!#Poor both of them :( I'm considering DAX sleeping in as non-canon because if ZEX started to suspect after watching Zelnick do the same ahhh#I mean more non-canon than him being there at all anyway haha#It's too sad! He needs hugs that's what he needs
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The first time I went to get my covid shot I filled out my health paperwork that same as I always have from the way my mum filled it out which was white and Native American and the lady that took my paperwork crossed out native or something and she just wrote white on the card and to this day and every time I think about it it pisses me off and I wanna cry like I know I look just white and I know it sounds silly to get mad over but Idk it just made me mad like I clearly wrote what I was and you just picked the one I look like. If I looked like a man blowups you say I was a man?? This skin stuff used to not bother me and I used to like being myself and shit but I’be gotten so uncomfortable in my body and skin over the years. I just wish I looked the way I wanted to look then I would be happier I think
#anyway just a rant#new anime plot: miagwyn bitches#don’t wanna hear anything negative this post#I am fully aware I look white but I have Native American in my ancestry I just don’t have enough to make me look it#that’s why everyone thinks I make shit up of whatever#pisses me off like if I was gonna make up something I’d say I have Asian in my family or something#whoch is weird anyway why would I make up stuff about me#which#?????#I guess I just feel like I do t belong anywhere and the Native American in me made me feel like I could belong somewhere#anyway blah blah blah everyone thinks I’m white so there’s no point in correcting them#CAUSE THEY DONT CARE EITHER#IM MAD AGAIN#gonna go cry about it
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OH LOOORDDDDDDDDD. SHIN SOUKOKU SAVEEE MEEEEEEE
hey hashtag let's talk about how aku is only ever offensive with his powers never defensive he never uses them to protect, but dazai says he's most valuable in a supporting role, he's most valuable as the complementary to atsushi's offense, the backup, the cover, the sword to his shield. he's most valuable when he protects others!!
#and with the info you know bc of beast (they haven't shown it yet in the anime btw so idk when in the regular manga it shows up)#that he gets found by dazai initially because he's killing people but he was killing people in revenge of his dead friends#and before they died he was their PROTECTOR. HE PROTECTED THEM HE WAS THE OLDEST AND HE ALWAYS PROTECTED THEM WITH RASHOMON#in his heart aku is a protector. girl I love him I'm crying again#going to people's doors like a jw do you have time to talk about our lord and savior akutagawa ryuunosuke#oh also other info about his orphan group a kid got killed by a rabid dog one time and that's why he hates dogs. btw. evil#ask#tallytals#hi tals!#anyway I love this most of all bc at this point in time it would piss off aku so bad#“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M ONLY VALUABLE AS THE WERETIGER'S SUPPORT⁉️” 💖
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holy shit this phobia is going to ruin my life
#camera talks#/overdramatic cuz im not going to work w/ horses but also not entirely overdramatic bc my sibling works w/ horses and i live w/ them#anyway#the horses are out and i was going to help my mom outside for chores but as soon as i saw the horses i freaked out. yelled and ran off#then got totally frozen in place while crying#like. they were literally tied down so they couldnt even get me if they wanted to. they werent even close to me#but my brain does Not care about that#it hurts my brain to be so afraid of something that has done nothing to me but i refuse to see reason#and i have super easy exposure therapy if i wanted. i literally live with 3 of them#but again. my brain does Not care#god. i hate phobias so much#i dont think this is normal fear of horses. this is so so irrational and i have such bad responses to them like. 99% sure its a phobia#anyways. holing up in my room now. still fucking shaking this is stupid
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