#anyways i’m gonna miss sos it was so fun
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bed chem
how you talk so sweet when you’re doing bad things
1.4K words
featuring -> matt rempe x female reader
genre -> fluff, smut; 18+ minors DNI - mature themes
-> short n’ sweet masterlist
Watching from across the room, you couldn’t help but keep your eyes locked on Matt. Sure, part of that was because he was hard to miss. His giant frame caught everyone’s eye. But it was mostly because you couldn’t shake the thoughts you’d had about him all week long leading up to this night.
The two of you had briefly met a few weeks back, not having much time to talk but exchanging numbers anyways as you had hit it off well. Those text messages went from friendly to flirty, and next thing you knew you were getting shirtless snapchats from Matt that had your mind racing with thoughts that were anything but innocent.
And sure, you’d partaken in sending back some snaps of your own. Just enough to get his mind racing, make him want more. And that he did, both of you did.
Sipping from your solo cup you watched as Matt crossed his arms as he spoke to a group of friends. The way his biceps flexed at the motion, his shirt tightening them as he threw his head back laughing. His smile could make any girl melt, as his thick Canadian accent could be heard above the crowd and the music.
He’d shook his head at something one of the guys said before his eyes finally landed on you. His smirk changed to one that was a bit cocky, as he slightly bit his lip, eyeing you. Excusing himself from the group, Matt slowly made his way through the crowd before he found himself practically chest to chest with you as there wasn’t much room in the kitchen to have a decent conversation.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
Biting your lip you pulled your cup back to your mouth as you took a sip, eyeing him from behind the plastic rim as he was practically undressing you right there with his eyes.
“Having fun?”
“Watching you all night? Absolutely.”
Both of you chuckled as you checked your cup, slightly frowning as you noticed you were all out. Matt took your cup from you, picking up on the situation as he set it down on the counter before taking your hand in his.
“Umm where are we going?”
You questioned but continued on with him, following as he pulled you down the hallway then upstairs.
“You looked thirsty, so I’m gonna help you out.”
Matt winked at you as he led you to an extra bathroom tucked away at the back of the house. Looking over your shoulder you checked to be sure no one saw the two of you, though you were sure this bathroom was not a first or even second choice for partygoers.
“Oh yeah? How you gonna do that Rempe?”
His cocky grin reappeared on his lips as he shut the door behind you, earning a gasp from you as he quickly lifted you up to sit you on the counter.
“Gonna give you what you’ve been thinking about all night.”
His words were firm but his voice was the opposite, the way he could still sound so sweet and innocent while his hands were making their way underneath your shirt. Goosebumps covering your skin as his touch was cold against you, a smirk on his lips as he felt you shiver beneath him.
“No need to be nervous, I don’t bite. Unless you’re into that kind of thing.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his comment, no matter the moment Matt would find a way to crack a joke. Always.
“Matthew, can you ever be serious?”
“Of course…I’m serious when I say I wanna bend you over this counter.”
A cocky smirk made its way across his lips before he grabbed your face, pulling your lips to meet his in a sloppy kiss. Something that the two of you had easily been thinking about all night. The way your tongues clashed as you fought for dominance, your hands tangled in his hair while Matt’s fell to your waist. Quickly pulling your shirt from your frame as he eyed the blue lace bra you’d opted for. Hoping it would get seen by anyone other than yourself, but only wanting Matt to be that “anyone else”.
“You were hoping for this weren’t you? Choosing that bra?”
Matt chuckled as lips found your again, a hand dropping to cup your breast as he could finally take advantage of not being stuck staring at them from his phone screen. The color bra being the one he made known was his favorite from the occasional risqué photos you’d send his way. Obviously making it the only choice to wear for tonight.
“I think you might’ve mentioned liking it..”
Your voice trailed off breathless as Matt’s attention moved to your neck, leaving a trail of soft bites followed by kisses and licks to soothe the skin.
“Like it? I fucking love it.”
His words were laced with his thick Canadian accent, something you’d noticed came out the more excited he’d become. Arching your back into his touch you subconsciously found his crotch pressing against you, his jeans now tighter than before as he had clearly been enjoying the moment.
“Did you put on the matching thong for me too baby girl?”
Your arms wrapped around his neck as he lifted you from the counter, pulling down your jeans in one quick motion to reveal that you did in fact match your panties to the bra. Matt’s eyes filled with desire as he looked down at you, his hand tracing your curves and playing with the lace of the thong as it sat high on your hip.
“So fucking beautiful.”
He pulled you in for one last kiss before turning you around to face the mirror, a cocky grin on his face as he caught you staring while he discarded his jeans, then tossed his tshirt to the side. Your eyes trailing every muscle of his as you watched him, his fingers gripping your ass before pulling the string of your thong to the side. Teasing you ever so slightly as they slid up your slit to feel how wet you’d gotten for him.
“Mmm, glad to see you’re enjoying this.”
Part of you wanted to tell to cut the shit and fuck you already, but you had to admit you liked the way he admired your body. The way he was still sweet and charming while having you bent over the bathroom counter at a party.
He soon replaced his fingers with his cock, sliding it up and down your folds as the two of you moaned in unison. Each taking a deep breath as he slowly thrust himself inside you, his grip firm on your hips as he cursed at how tight you were.
“Holy shit.”
“I could say the same for you.”
You shot him a wink in the mirror as you held the counter, catching your breath as you adjusted to his size before urging him to continue.
His thrusts had picked up their pace with your go ahead, the sounds of sex filling the bathroom as you tried to contain your moans. The two you almost in perfect rhythm as you did your best to meet his thrusts as you pushed back against him, only causing a slew of expletives to pour from Matt.
“Fuck you feel so good baby. Come ride me.”
Matt pulled himself from you, immediately grabbed your chin to pull you in for a kiss, the two of you chuckling at the other as you fought for dominance.
Matt scanned the bathroom, realizing it wasn’t the ideal place for the position he was trying for. Settling for sitting on the edge of the bathtub in hopes that you two could make it work.
“You’re kidding?”
“Come on, I’ll help you out, don't worry.”
His voice was slightly whiny as he reached for your hand and pulled into him, a hand smacking your ass before helping to guide your thigh over his lap. Then following suit with the other.
“Matt, this is gonna hurt, my knees on a fucking bathtub?”
He threw his head back in defeat as he sighed, realizing you were right.
“Fuck…you’re right. Did you drive here?”
He looked up at you with a devilish grin as you nodded, slightly confused at the question.
“Yes, but I’ve been drinking. We both have, neither one of us can drive.”
Matt quickly gathered up his clothes, helping you to find yours as he shook his head.
“Who said anything about driving? Would the front seat or the back seat be more comfortable for you baby?”
#matt rempe fluff#matthew rempe fic#matt rempe x reader#matt rempe blurb#matt rempe imagine#matt rempe smut#matt rempe fic#matthew rempe#matt rempe#nhl imagine#nhl fics#hockey imagine#hockey fic#nhl fanfiction#nhl blurb
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Rewriting Veilguard Part 1 - The World State
Disclaimer: I don't hate the game, I actually think it's quite great given the development hell Bioware went through in those 10 years. This is more of a hypothetical universe where there was less of that behind the scenes drama. Just a fun writing exercise.
Expanding Veilguard's World State Editor
Like many of us, I was disappointed with the total amount of choices carrying over from past games being only three, one of which dealt with romance, two with decisions made in the Trespasser DLC, and all of them being from Inquisition. This already set the precedent that we shouldn’t really be expecting the game to be as connected to our unique Thedas as we have come to be used to from previous titles—no more uniquely flavoured codex entries, no more small but sweet cameos here and there that make the world itself feel like a larger place that we had helped shape.
Given The Veilguard’s very troubled production history of multiple delays, staff layoffs, and all-around restarts of the entire project, it is honestly a surprise that we even got three choices, so credit where credit is due. They made with what they had. But what if The Veilguard had this vision from the start? What if there wasn’t any of this meddling? What if Bioware simply had more time and control? What if they could truly let us import the World State this game deserved?
Now, for this hypothetical rewritten playthrough, I’m going off from the fact that the Dragon Age Keep will not be used; I actually found it a neat idea to tick my three choices in the character creator, and it would have probably been better had Inquisition done something similar. Why do I think that? Because it means we are not running into any dangers of servers potentially shutting down, leaving us trapped in the canon we happened to have imported last. Converting the Keep into an offline editor was a good idea, but unfortunately not executed nearly enough as, let’s face it, we all expected. So we’re gonna have some fun for Veilguard.
Disclaimer: I’m going to refer to the game’s title as Veilguard from now on, not “the” Veilguard. I really don’t like the change of having a “the” in a series of otherwise one-word, or one-number, titles.
Of course, we have to be realistic about this. It is virtually impossible to implement every single decision from across all three games, and those that can be implanted can’t alter the main plot too much. Certainly, we like to imagine and picture things, but let’s approach this from an actually doable point of view.
Right, so imagine you just finalised your Rook, and then get a screen titled “Past Adventures”. Not just “The Inquisition”. And it would take up the entire screen instead of being shoved somewhere in the corner of the final CC page, which many people missed. I could have missed it too, had I not known beforehand that it was going to be there!
It would say something akin to “You can customise the protagonists and several events from the games Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age II, and Dragon Age: Inquisition. These choices will have both major and minor effects on the plot of Veilguard. If this is your first Dragon Age title, you would be advised to skip this section for now, as you may otherwise risk getting overwhelmed. A default World State has been pre-generated for the game.”
Why did I add this disclaimer? Because it would show us, right from the get-go, that we respect both new and old players. If you’re a new player, feel free to skip this part as it won’t matter to you anyway and, quite frankly, you wouldn’t want to spend an eternity in the character creator doing things you might not even be familiar with. But if you’re a returning player or someone who has read up on recaps and watched countless lore videos, come on right in, we’ve got you covered, don’t worry! We know how much time you spent meticulously crafting your World State for Inquisition, so join us and customise to your heart’s content.
If you choose to not skip ahead (honestly the only time I would click “skip” on that shit is if I was a new player), you will be presented with three tarot cards, one shows the griffon, the Grey Warden symbol, one shows Kirkwall’s heraldry, and one shows the Inquisition’s banner. Here’s your previous three games. And now we get to customise them a little. The little gremlin in me would be quite gleefully rubbing his hands at this prospect.
Past Adventures: The Blight
We open the first slide and are immediately hit with a crimson screen and an ambient reprise of several of Inon Zur’s themes from DAO. I loved this part in the game, when you click to customise your Inquisitor and are immediately hit with “Calling the Inquisition”. Really great stuff for early emotions. Now let’s actually customise things.
The Hero of Ferelden
I do not expect us to actually be able to recreate the Warden in the flesh, but I believe they should be at least brought up in conversation or mentioned in codex entries and letters. Here are the things we get to customise about them specifically:
The Hero: Here, we get to tick the race, gender, class, and background for our Warden. Again, no character creator, just fancy tarot cards. But guess what? That would already be more than enough for what we can do. At least we know the game acknowledges their continued existence.
The Warden’s fate: Did the Hero of Ferelden perform the ultimate sacrifice?
Romance: Who did your Warden romance, if at all?
The Companions
Now that our Warden is set, we jump over to DAO’s companions. Each companion has their own little mini-section. The first few questions will always be “Did you even recruit them? And if so, did they survive? If so, were you on good terms or not?” These questions, depending on the answers, will immediately lock or open the more specific ones. Which are, as follows:
Did the Warden have Morrigan perform the Dark Ritual?
What is Alistair’s ultimate fate?
Was Sten reunited with his sword?
What happened to Loghain?
What happened to Marjorlaine?
The Battle of Ostagar
What happened to the prisoner at Ostagar?
The Arl of Redcliffe
What is Connor’s fate?
Is Isolde alive?
Did you help Bevin and return his sword?
The Urn of Sacred Ashes
What happened to the Urn?
The Nature of the Beast
How was the situation between the Dalish and the werewolves resolved?
A Paragon of Her Kind
What happened to the Anvil of the Void?
Who rules Orzammar?
Did the Warden help Brother Burkel create a Chantry in Orzammar?
Did the Warden prove the Legion of the Dead was connected to a noble house?
Did Orta join the Assembly?
Warden’s Keep
What happened to Sophia and Avernus?
Denerim
Did the Warden complete Slim Couldry’s crime wave?
Who rules Ferelden?
Who killed Urthemiel?
Awakening
What happened to Nathaniel?
What happened to the Architect?
What happened to Vigil’s Keep and Amaranthine?
As you can see, I have not included all the choices, just the ones I think can be carried over in both realistic and interesting manners. Not all of them will heavily feature in the game; in fact, many of them are for flavour and codex entries only, but there is still merit in those. We know there is a whole lot of stuff happening in the South thanks to the letters the Inquisitor regales us with. So let’s put some world-state uniqueness to those letters. But in this rewrite, some of these choices will, in fact, feature in a more substantial manner.
And that’s Dragon Age: Origins done! Moving on to the next one!
Past Adventures: The Tale of the Champion
When we enter this screen, the CC assumes Kirkwall’s orangey-yellow tone and we get a reprisal of the key DA2 themes by Inon Zur, the most prominent one being, of course, Hawke’s family theme. This one is not going to be as big as DAO, but there are a few important factors nevertheless, especially concerning possible deaths and survivals.
The Champion of Kirkwall
Unlike the Hero of Ferelden, Hawke will actually be customisable in this one. Because no matter whether or not they were sent to the Fade or Weisshaupt, there is always the potential for them to still be alive. So, here are the choices regarding Hawke:
The Champion: Here you can customise Hawke’s gender, class, and personality.
Who did Hawke romance, if at all?
The Party
Pretty much every companion’s card, aside from a few, will have the questions “Did you recruit them?”, “Are they still alive?”, and “Were they friend or rival to Hawke?” at the forefront. Most of it is gonna be flavour, but it’s still my flavour, dammit!
What happened to Bethany or Carver?
What happened to Isabela and the Tome of Koslun?
What happened to Fenris and Danarius?
What happened to Merrill, her eluvian, and Clan Sabrae?
What happened to Bartrand?
What happened to Anders when the Chantry exploded?
Did Hawke approve of Ander’s actions?
Did Aveline marry Donnic?
The Tale of the Champion
Did Hawke protect the Bone Pit from all its dangers?
What happened to Feynriel?
Did Hawke let Zevran go?
Did Nathaniel survive?
Did Hawke side with the mages or the templars?
Fewer choices are carrying over here compared to DAO, but many of the events that occurred in DA2 are only relevant to Kirkwall’s immediate fate, which is already resolved by the time of DAI. Many of these will be flavour again, but some of them, I’m not going to say which, will definitely have a bigger impact.
Right, we’re done with DA2, let’s move on to the last one!
Past Adventures: The Inquisition
And here we get to the big one, the game that most directly impacts much of DAV’s story. We click on the last page and get the green shades and DAI’s ambience themes, a beautiful reprisal of Trevor Morris’ great hits. I would like to once again reiterate how emotional the CC music made me feel here when I was playing the game. Let us now customise our choices.
The Inquisitor
While the Hero of Ferelden will be a background figure in letters and codex entries, and Hawke more of a minor character with a significant role, the Inquisitor will have a much larger presence. Just how large, you’ll find out soon. But for now, let’s customise them:
The Inquisitor: Here you can customise your Inquisitor’s race, gender, class, and specialisation. Their personality as well, for while it wasn’t as apparent as with Hawke, the Inquisitor does still have a distinct range of dialogue choices. You can still be diplomatic, lighthearted, or even rough.
Who did the Inquisitor romance, if at all?
The Inner Circle
As with the other companion sections, pretty much all slides here will feature the “Did you actually recruit them?”, “Are they still around?”, and “Are you friends or not?” questions. Alongside a few specific ones that will definitely have more of an impact here.
Did Dorian resolve the issue with his father?
What happened to Blackwall?
Did the Iron Bull remain loyal to the Qun?
Did Cassandra rebuild the Seekers of Truth?
Did Cassandra discover the book of secrets and what did she do with it?
What happened to Harmond?
Which path did Cole choose?
What happened to Solas’ friend?
Did Varric track down the red lyrium source?
Did the Inquisitor give Vivienne the heart of a snow wyvern?
How was Cullen’s lyrium dilemma resolved?
How did the Inquisitor help Josephine resolve her family’s fortunes?
Was Leliana hardened or softened?
The Path of the Inquisitor
Did the Inquisitor embrace or denounce their title of Herald of Andraste?
Did the Inquisition side with the mages or the templars?
What was the general principle upon which the Inquisition was founded?
Who rules Orlais?
Who stayed behind in the Fade?
What happened to the Grey Wardens after Adamant Fortress?
What happened to Samson or Calpernia?
Who drank from the Well of Sorrows?
Did the Inquisitor respect the rituals at the Temple of Mythal?
Who became Divine Victoria?
The Inquisition’s Influence
Did the Inquisitor ally with the Hinterland cultists?
Was the rift in Crestwood closed?
Was Caer Bronach captured?
Did the Inquisitor make a deal with Imshael?
Was Suledin Keep captured?
Was Griffon Wing Keep captured?
Was Sutherland’s company formed?
What tone did the Inquisitor’s judgments take?
Jaws of Hakkon
Did the Inquisitor learn Ameridan’s fate?
Was Hakkon slain?
Did the Inquisitor share the truth about Ameridan?
The Descent
Did the Inquisitor stop the earthquakes from destroying the Deep Roads?
Trespasser
What is the ultimate fate of the Inquisition?
What is the Inquisitor’s final goal regarding Solas?
Again, this looks like a lot, and it is, but bear in mind that a lot of these will only have minor impacts on the story in the form of cameos and codex entries. However, there are several major DAI choices that will have significant impact.
For our hypothetical rewrite, I shall not list every single choice I made for my imaginary playthrough. Instead, I shall reveal them as we go along so as not to clutter the space too much. And it’s a bit more fun this way.
And that’s the World State editor finally done! I believe all of these choices are able to feature in some capacity, be it big or small. But no matter if it’s a big world-changing consequence or simple flavour texts and cameos, it will still be our Thedas, our own unique version of it that we helped shape.
Now that the past is dealt with, let’s look at the present. Next time we’ll talk about Rook, the six factions, and why a DAO-style origin story selection would have not only been beneficial but very doable.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard spoilers#dav#rewrite#rewritingveilguard#veilguard critical#dragon age origins#dragon age 2#dragon age inquisition#world states#character creation
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The fall of Icarus (click for better quality)
#this’ll most likely be the last big drawing before i go to camp tomorrow#i still have no idea how to draw wings#anyways i’m gonna miss sos it was so fun#mcyt#mcyt fanart#art#fanart#mythicalsausage#mythicalsausage fanart#sos smp#sos smp fanart#minecraft sos#minecraft sos fanart#mcsos#mcsos fanart
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some WIPs from the 80s AU i never finished
#so… hi#i think…. i might start making some stuff here soon#i’ve been gone a lot longer than i intended to be#& i feel a lil bad about it bc i really miss my boys & bein here & all that but#idk it’s just been a rough month#but i’m starting to get the itch to create again#i have a very silly idea for the mbz AU#i also just really want to draw some stuff#i miss making things. i’m going nuts. i’ve hardly done anything fun in WEEKS#i’ve sort of started working on some new OCs but ngl#doing anything that doesn’t involve dhes or kel genuinely feels like i’m betraying them#but i have a concept that i really want to explore so that’s what i’m trying to do#i have been working on a few AUs here & there too but#but mostly nothing fun#i need to do something fun while i still can bc i’m starting at uni next month#& i just know i’m gonna have shit for free time then#i’m taking all in person classes which makes me very nervous#i’m trying to be excited about it but mostly it’s just causing me anxiety lol#but anyway. um. yea. hopefully i’ll catch up on everything & reply to the tags/asks i’ve gotten since i’ve been gone#if i reply to something you said/sent to me a month ago… pls just act like that’s not weird. thanks.#rainyrambles
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lu cooldowns
#soup!#this made me want soup#i’m headed to college tmrw#gonna miss my cats#but hey! i get to see all my friends#and i have a kitchen so#yeah#anyways#idk why i made wind do the meme it just happened#i was gonna do more with four but i didn’t have the energy i’ll do minish cap splash art redraws another time#started alttp today#it’s SO FUN#i really gotta play it more when i get more free time#anyways have a great day :)#art#fanart#froggtogs#linked universe#linked universe fanart#linkeduniverse#lu four#lu wind#lu twilight#linked universe twilight#linked universe four#linked universe wind#twilight lu#pumpkin soup!
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I didn’t notice I dressed Sofia up like her brother, but its a lab coat instead of a trench…
I forgot to post this yesterday but I got too stressed out, and shut down etc etc.
#anyways look at the cat people look at the colorful cat people *jingles keys*#i know its not perfect I’m litcherally just having fun so I don’t have an anuerysm at this rate#katpurrccinocs#i mean if i took my life the only thing anyone would be missing would be the occassional drawing of my ocs like this#it would just simply be a better place if I was gone. There is no real loss here lol#i give up respectfully on my life. im not gonna survive what the status quo wants. its as simple as that.#im tired of living in fear. pain. cant even think or breathe because of pain. cant even afford to eat#i just dont even care if i die
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“They won’t make this romantic, right? Because that would be weird for… so many reasons”
- me, apparently forgetting what show I was watching
#The Umbrella Academy#TUA Spoilers#TUA Season 4#How could I forget this is the story that brought us Luther x Allison#anyways I did enjoy the final season#very good- lots of things I would have loved to have seen done/handled differently#but overall a lot of fun#I’m gonna miss those idiots so much
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Mini Silverborn Countdown
If you’ve been around for a few years, you’ve seen me vaguely mention a “Silverborn Countdown Challenge” several times. It’s been delayed and changed as many times as the book itself, lol.
If anyone wants sort of a low-stakes, very chill and spaced out version of this ye olde never tackled challenge to complete in the next year before Silverborn, I propose what I’m doing:
Every 3 months leading up to the initial release, I am creating one thing based on each of the books.
January — Nevermoor
April — Wundersmith
July — Hollowpox
#nevermoor#nevermoor fanart#nevermoor fanfic#silverborn#silverborn countdown challenge#thank you theo for reminding me to post abt this on here. I am stealing the “mini” moniker (?) in return. lol.#this was in my drafts and I forgot to post it. happens a lot lol.#anyways if you’re reading this happy new years !#nine masterpost ver 1.0 dropping tomorrow evening prob bc I have had a headache all day and that’s the next time I’m free#now time to sleep. zzzzzz. perhaps I’ll have a prophetic silverborn dream. who knows.#I love giving myself set times to draw nevermoor things or just think about the series bc otherwise I go insane#literally thinking abt this stuff 24/7 it’s all I want to draw. But then I have to hold myself back + then end up never drawing anything lol#I have three big things planned for this like big pieces to work on over awhile and get myself out of my comfort zone#but idk what to draw for this first one. aahhhhh. excited for wundersmith and hollowpox though.#also I want to do a little animation for nevermoorian new years. which is on a leap day this year! how fun!!#I have an eternal nevermoor to-draw list that only gets bigger#sorry to the person that requested some Christmas stuff last year. I missed out and was gonna do it this year. then no time. so next year? 😅#also 🏆 to anyone that ever reads my ramblings in my tags. I am so insane about nevermoor especially. <333
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GGS TEAM PAST!!!
#DUUUDE THIS WAS SO FUN#dreadful#veji#art#splatoon#splatoon 3#grand festival#grand fest splatoon#Man I shed like a few tears by the end of the reveal news thing#Like not out of sadness cause my team lost but just from the joy that all this happened and I was here for it.#I never got to experience splatoon 2’s final fest so I’ve waited 3 years for this and I’m…. Just so happy!#If you couldn’t tell from the colours in the drawing I’m team future btw#I laughed so hard seeing the results lol we got NOTHING#Oh and I guess I should put my reasoning for my pick of future#so here it is:#I picked it because the future scares me. But it’s gonna happen anyway so I might as well look forward to it#I can’t let myself worry about where I’ll end up and who I’ll be when I’m older#But I do need to keep looking forward#I also chose it cause of deep cut. Like that was a big factor in my choice#Their music shaped my tastes. I just love it so much#And sure the characters themselves aren’t as fleshed out as the other idols#But they still mean a lot to me as splatoon 3 is the game that got me into the franchise#Even though I played 2 before 3 could never fully enjoy it as I came too late#I missed every splatfest cause I got it a year before splat3#So I could never connect the way I did to 3#Hearing anarchy rainbow for the first time changed me man. I fell in love instantly. It just means so much.#As an autistic person I actually surprisingly don’t really stim that much. But hearing anarchy rainbow just… flipped a switch.#I couldn’t stop moving. Literally like DJ Octavio man. It was a crazy experience to just feel like I had to move.#to walk around or something. To wave and flap my arms. Copy their dances. It sounds a little weird and childish when it’s written down#But it’s true. Splatoon’s music showed me that my autistic stimming was something I should embrace.
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FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE IS FINISBEDD— some of my favourite pieces from my drawing 2 class ^^)) what a fun year
#jellarts#first is a portrait on toned paper !!#we had to tone the paper and I chose to use purple and it was so funnnn#we also learned the structure of a face through da vinci diagrams that I love love looking at now#like I loveeee drawing side profiles now#BUT ITS A PORTRAIT OF MEE#closest thing to face reveal#the other two are ink drawings we did#the one that’s just a mesh of gestures is what my teacher called the gesture marathon#the models posed for like 5 minutes and then kept changing poses it was so streasfukvndndbs#but I had fun…I’m gonna miss this teacher so bad fr#biggers inspos for this semester were Catherine Kehoe and Elisabeth Osborne#the last one was a three week drawing where the model was posing in that exact pose#you can’t see it cus where I was in the room was right behind them#but they were playing Hades on their laptop fhsbsba#anyways— vine charcoal my beloved#I’m so sad I won’t have any drawing classes next semester but I must focus on product design for now v_v))
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fellas i miss spider-lightning should i draw more spider-lightning
#trick question i’m gonna do that anyway#tbh i kinda fell off cars for a little bit but i rly miss the fandom#my cars fixation was so fun and i was so happy and everybody’s so NICE#i rewatched the films and i’m kinda feeling it again#only time will tell but stay tuned probably 🕺#pixar cars#cars fandom
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page 2 od Cassie angst
Hanging these right by my door, so my parents can walk in and see fucking mitski and angst on my wall.
#My room is an art gallery atp and I’m not even finished#I’m almost done with page 3#I have like 4+ to go I think? I’m gonna have a crisis#Bc I was listening to another podcast: Camp Here and There#WHY TF IS IT A SOAP OPERA?#Anyway#ill prob gatekeep page 3 mainly bc I LOVE how Cassie turned out in it#Also rip like 3 black markers for this#I try going back to traditional but my pens r like: PLS DONT#Hpma#hp magic awakened#crea’s art#silly#angst#angst art#art wip#brand new city#cassandra vole#Cassandra hpma#Also I’m home sick bc tell me why I get an infection and lose my voice in 2 weeks?#But I do get to miss a test so 💖#And I made a fun discovery:#Hot Lemon juice and honey low-key taste terrible#But warm milk and a few spoons of honey and biscuits are so cozy#Also I might be able to play hpma soon? My computer might be getting fixed soon#It was the motherboard thats old af#Anyways I hope that to all who see this experience a fuffling (idek how to spell) day (I binged 10 episodes straight of camp here and there#hpma
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“Wait, so this is why other people always have their priorities straight? Work and fun feel similar to them? The same sort of brain chemical release?”
“Because like, if skateboarding feels the same as doing homework, WHY skateboard? I could just walk for exercise and then do homework.”
“This is why everyone pretty much is expected to grow up and be a boring adult.”
“Well, I refuse to join the ranks. But…I recognize there’s a time and place for fun. I just have to carve out that place myself apparently.”
“I think I know how to manage my time now…tentatively. And how to regulate when I take my meds and when I don’t.”
#alvin seville#alvin and the chipmunks#alvinnn and the chipmunks#alvin 2.0#alternate universe#aatc#adhd meds#adhd problems#tasks#workaholic#i love my crazy brain#but I want to make it work in my favor#and I still want to enjoy fun stuff#I hate that work and fun feel identical on meds.#but it makes homework a lot more tolerable#I miss the rush#so I’ll just…let myself have the rush again#Now that I’m FINALLY caught up and ahead again#maybe….maybe trying to constantly stay all caught up is the problem#maybe I just have to accept that I’m gonna have alphabet soup grades for life#anyway#rambles#trying to decide if I need dopamine today or if I wanna try and make my own through daydreams#I probably need it#but I PROMISE PROMISE MYSELF I’ll have fun this weekend
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extremely frustrating situation
#overly long winded explanation incoming#so i’m gonna be living with two friends starting this fall#my parents bought a little townhouse and we’re renting from them#so they’re getting all of the paperwork and contracts and leases figured out#and these two friends are just. awful with deadlines. horrific. just the worst.#my dad has been flexible but he’s had to keep nagging them again and again to get these forms signed and whatever#and one of them finally finished the whole process and she’s good to go#but the other one still just needs to get the lease signed/notarized with their dad. like. asap. like within a few days.#and i’m trying my best to be like heyyyy sorryyyy not trying to nag or anything but we do need that ASAP…. it should be quick and easy…#i know you’re working double shifts every single day and your dog just died im so sorry#but my parents say you should be able to just go to the bank during a lunch break to get it notarized…..#please don’t be mad at me or my parents for saying we need this Now…… i’m sorry i know you have a lot going on but we do Need that done#right away….#anyway i don’t want you to be mad at me or think i’m just nagging so here’s a topic change! oh you didn’t respond to the topic change.#fuck me then. god. i can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not but i have the suspicion you Are. and that’s making Me mad at You#like god man just come the fuck on already you’ve missed every other deadline up to this point too. can you please just FUCKING get#everything submitted so we can stop worrying about it and just get excited to live together!! because it’s gonna be fun!!#but it’s worrying me too bc like… if this is how they’re acting before we’re even living together#and they’re missing all of these deadlines#am i gonna have to nag them to pay their rent every month?#it’s just frustrating bc it feels like they’re taking advantage of the fact that it’s my parents and not some other landlord#so they don’t think the deadlines my parents set are like. actual deadlines#meanwhile if it WASNT my parents they’d literally be out of a place to live because the housing market is so fucked there#and if you don’t get everything submitted within The Day then you’re no longer a candidate to rent the place#if you can even get to that point in the first place#so like. my parents are being exceptionally flexible and obv i can’t really know what this friend’s thought process is#but it feels like they’re just kinda taking them for granted and taking advantage of their kindness#like fuck dude just please come on
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So I got back from my girls trip yesterday and I’m in the feels…
#I got back about 4ish yesterday#and it’s kind of sad#like I’m gonna miss hanging and travelling with my friends#like I will definitely see them before they go back to uni#but it was so much fun chilling together and cooking#and also doing morning and nightime routines#we definitely got up to lots of shenanigans 💀😭#but it will make for some pretty good memories#but the last official day was so sad#we made friendship bracelets and watched the hobbit whilst eating smores#it also feels weird to go from sharing a room to sleeping alone as well#anyway I had such a good time and the weather was amazing#gatherrambles#gathertravels
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when the realisation ✨finally✨ dawns on you but it’s wayyyy too late
#so. to preface. i’m an idiot who often misses the point and stuff.#like it took me about 10 years to realise that i was being actively excluded from a group of girls#in which they went out of their ways to talk about all kinds of fun tall tales that all of them but me were involved in#(but i completely missed that they were trying to exclude me bc i was more interested in listening to their stories lmfaooo)#but anyways! a few weeks back my brother’s gf mentioned in passing that my bro told her that i went on the trip to look for bl manga#at first i was like ‘hahaha yeahhh i kinda read ‘em sometimes but not all the time yk’ but then i just realised that…#…he must’ve assumed that i was buying bl manga back when i bought vol 4 of idol sengen. fml#tbf!!!! there was a huge display of bl manga in the girls manga section of the store my family followed me into#so i guess i can see how he thought that i was buying bl manga? esp since i refused to let my fam see the cover of the book i bought?#but still… man. most of the bl manga on display there had v e r y spicy covers… lord knows which one he assumed i had bought…#there’s no way in heck i’m gonna correct him thought. nope. i don’t need him to go poking around in this fandom too#i’d d i e fr if he found this blog. so ig letting him continue with his assumptions is the lesser of two evils…#anyways. um. how was your wednesday~~~~?#it is suiyoubi my dudes
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