#anyways i’m gonna miss sos it was so fun
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The fall of Icarus (click for better quality)
#this’ll most likely be the last big drawing before i go to camp tomorrow#i still have no idea how to draw wings#anyways i’m gonna miss sos it was so fun#mcyt#mcyt fanart#art#fanart#mythicalsausage#mythicalsausage fanart#sos smp#sos smp fanart#minecraft sos#minecraft sos fanart#mcsos#mcsos fanart
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some WIPs from the 80s AU i never finished
#so… hi#i think…. i might start making some stuff here soon#i’ve been gone a lot longer than i intended to be#& i feel a lil bad about it bc i really miss my boys & bein here & all that but#idk it’s just been a rough month#but i’m starting to get the itch to create again#i have a very silly idea for the mbz AU#i also just really want to draw some stuff#i miss making things. i’m going nuts. i’ve hardly done anything fun in WEEKS#i’ve sort of started working on some new OCs but ngl#doing anything that doesn’t involve dhes or kel genuinely feels like i’m betraying them#but i have a concept that i really want to explore so that’s what i’m trying to do#i have been working on a few AUs here & there too but#but mostly nothing fun#i need to do something fun while i still can bc i’m starting at uni next month#& i just know i’m gonna have shit for free time then#i’m taking all in person classes which makes me very nervous#i’m trying to be excited about it but mostly it’s just causing me anxiety lol#but anyway. um. yea. hopefully i’ll catch up on everything & reply to the tags/asks i’ve gotten since i’ve been gone#if i reply to something you said/sent to me a month ago… pls just act like that’s not weird. thanks.#rainyrambles
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lu cooldowns
#soup!#this made me want soup#i’m headed to college tmrw#gonna miss my cats#but hey! i get to see all my friends#and i have a kitchen so#yeah#anyways#idk why i made wind do the meme it just happened#i was gonna do more with four but i didn’t have the energy i’ll do minish cap splash art redraws another time#started alttp today#it’s SO FUN#i really gotta play it more when i get more free time#anyways have a great day :)#art#fanart#froggtogs#linked universe#linked universe fanart#linkeduniverse#lu four#lu wind#lu twilight#linked universe twilight#linked universe four#linked universe wind#twilight lu#pumpkin soup!
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I didn’t notice I dressed Sofia up like her brother, but its a lab coat instead of a trench…
I forgot to post this yesterday but I got too stressed out, and shut down etc etc.
#anyways look at the cat people look at the colorful cat people *jingles keys*#i know its not perfect I’m litcherally just having fun so I don’t have an anuerysm at this rate#katpurrccinocs#i mean if i took my life the only thing anyone would be missing would be the occassional drawing of my ocs like this#it would just simply be a better place if I was gone. There is no real loss here lol#i give up respectfully on my life. im not gonna survive what the status quo wants. its as simple as that.#im tired of living in fear. pain. cant even think or breathe because of pain. cant even afford to eat#i just dont even care if i die
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“They won’t make this romantic, right? Because that would be weird for… so many reasons”
- me, apparently forgetting what show I was watching
#The Umbrella Academy#TUA Spoilers#TUA Season 4#How could I forget this is the story that brought us Luther x Allison#anyways I did enjoy the final season#very good- lots of things I would have loved to have seen done/handled differently#but overall a lot of fun#I’m gonna miss those idiots so much
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Mini Silverborn Countdown
If you’ve been around for a few years, you’ve seen me vaguely mention a “Silverborn Countdown Challenge” several times. It’s been delayed and changed as many times as the book itself, lol.
If anyone wants sort of a low-stakes, very chill and spaced out version of this ye olde never tackled challenge to complete in the next year before Silverborn, I propose what I’m doing:
Every 3 months leading up to the initial release, I am creating one thing based on each of the books.
January — Nevermoor
April — Wundersmith
July — Hollowpox
#nevermoor#nevermoor fanart#nevermoor fanfic#silverborn#silverborn countdown challenge#thank you theo for reminding me to post abt this on here. I am stealing the “mini” moniker (?) in return. lol.#this was in my drafts and I forgot to post it. happens a lot lol.#anyways if you’re reading this happy new years !#nine masterpost ver 1.0 dropping tomorrow evening prob bc I have had a headache all day and that’s the next time I’m free#now time to sleep. zzzzzz. perhaps I’ll have a prophetic silverborn dream. who knows.#I love giving myself set times to draw nevermoor things or just think about the series bc otherwise I go insane#literally thinking abt this stuff 24/7 it’s all I want to draw. But then I have to hold myself back + then end up never drawing anything lol#I have three big things planned for this like big pieces to work on over awhile and get myself out of my comfort zone#but idk what to draw for this first one. aahhhhh. excited for wundersmith and hollowpox though.#also I want to do a little animation for nevermoorian new years. which is on a leap day this year! how fun!!#I have an eternal nevermoor to-draw list that only gets bigger#sorry to the person that requested some Christmas stuff last year. I missed out and was gonna do it this year. then no time. so next year? 😅#also 🏆 to anyone that ever reads my ramblings in my tags. I am so insane about nevermoor especially. <333
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GGS TEAM PAST!!!
#DUUUDE THIS WAS SO FUN#dreadful#veji#art#splatoon#splatoon 3#grand festival#grand fest splatoon#Man I shed like a few tears by the end of the reveal news thing#Like not out of sadness cause my team lost but just from the joy that all this happened and I was here for it.#I never got to experience splatoon 2’s final fest so I’ve waited 3 years for this and I’m…. Just so happy!#If you couldn’t tell from the colours in the drawing I’m team future btw#I laughed so hard seeing the results lol we got NOTHING#Oh and I guess I should put my reasoning for my pick of future#so here it is:#I picked it because the future scares me. But it’s gonna happen anyway so I might as well look forward to it#I can’t let myself worry about where I’ll end up and who I’ll be when I’m older#But I do need to keep looking forward#I also chose it cause of deep cut. Like that was a big factor in my choice#Their music shaped my tastes. I just love it so much#And sure the characters themselves aren’t as fleshed out as the other idols#But they still mean a lot to me as splatoon 3 is the game that got me into the franchise#Even though I played 2 before 3 could never fully enjoy it as I came too late#I missed every splatfest cause I got it a year before splat3#So I could never connect the way I did to 3#Hearing anarchy rainbow for the first time changed me man. I fell in love instantly. It just means so much.#As an autistic person I actually surprisingly don’t really stim that much. But hearing anarchy rainbow just… flipped a switch.#I couldn’t stop moving. Literally like DJ Octavio man. It was a crazy experience to just feel like I had to move.#to walk around or something. To wave and flap my arms. Copy their dances. It sounds a little weird and childish when it’s written down#But it’s true. Splatoon’s music showed me that my autistic stimming was something I should embrace.
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FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE IS FINISBEDD— some of my favourite pieces from my drawing 2 class ^^)) what a fun year
#jellarts#first is a portrait on toned paper !!#we had to tone the paper and I chose to use purple and it was so funnnn#we also learned the structure of a face through da vinci diagrams that I love love looking at now#like I loveeee drawing side profiles now#BUT ITS A PORTRAIT OF MEE#closest thing to face reveal#the other two are ink drawings we did#the one that’s just a mesh of gestures is what my teacher called the gesture marathon#the models posed for like 5 minutes and then kept changing poses it was so streasfukvndndbs#but I had fun…I’m gonna miss this teacher so bad fr#biggers inspos for this semester were Catherine Kehoe and Elisabeth Osborne#the last one was a three week drawing where the model was posing in that exact pose#you can’t see it cus where I was in the room was right behind them#but they were playing Hades on their laptop fhsbsba#anyways— vine charcoal my beloved#I’m so sad I won’t have any drawing classes next semester but I must focus on product design for now v_v))
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fellas i miss spider-lightning should i draw more spider-lightning
#trick question i’m gonna do that anyway#tbh i kinda fell off cars for a little bit but i rly miss the fandom#my cars fixation was so fun and i was so happy and everybody’s so NICE#i rewatched the films and i’m kinda feeling it again#only time will tell but stay tuned probably 🕺#pixar cars#cars fandom
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extremely frustrating situation
#overly long winded explanation incoming#so i’m gonna be living with two friends starting this fall#my parents bought a little townhouse and we’re renting from them#so they’re getting all of the paperwork and contracts and leases figured out#and these two friends are just. awful with deadlines. horrific. just the worst.#my dad has been flexible but he’s had to keep nagging them again and again to get these forms signed and whatever#and one of them finally finished the whole process and she’s good to go#but the other one still just needs to get the lease signed/notarized with their dad. like. asap. like within a few days.#and i’m trying my best to be like heyyyy sorryyyy not trying to nag or anything but we do need that ASAP…. it should be quick and easy…#i know you’re working double shifts every single day and your dog just died im so sorry#but my parents say you should be able to just go to the bank during a lunch break to get it notarized…..#please don’t be mad at me or my parents for saying we need this Now…… i’m sorry i know you have a lot going on but we do Need that done#right away….#anyway i don’t want you to be mad at me or think i’m just nagging so here’s a topic change! oh you didn’t respond to the topic change.#fuck me then. god. i can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not but i have the suspicion you Are. and that’s making Me mad at You#like god man just come the fuck on already you’ve missed every other deadline up to this point too. can you please just FUCKING get#everything submitted so we can stop worrying about it and just get excited to live together!! because it’s gonna be fun!!#but it’s worrying me too bc like… if this is how they’re acting before we’re even living together#and they’re missing all of these deadlines#am i gonna have to nag them to pay their rent every month?#it’s just frustrating bc it feels like they’re taking advantage of the fact that it’s my parents and not some other landlord#so they don’t think the deadlines my parents set are like. actual deadlines#meanwhile if it WASNT my parents they’d literally be out of a place to live because the housing market is so fucked there#and if you don’t get everything submitted within The Day then you’re no longer a candidate to rent the place#if you can even get to that point in the first place#so like. my parents are being exceptionally flexible and obv i can’t really know what this friend’s thought process is#but it feels like they’re just kinda taking them for granted and taking advantage of their kindness#like fuck dude just please come on
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So I got back from my girls trip yesterday and I’m in the feels…
#I got back about 4ish yesterday#and it’s kind of sad#like I’m gonna miss hanging and travelling with my friends#like I will definitely see them before they go back to uni#but it was so much fun chilling together and cooking#and also doing morning and nightime routines#we definitely got up to lots of shenanigans 💀😭#but it will make for some pretty good memories#but the last official day was so sad#we made friendship bracelets and watched the hobbit whilst eating smores#it also feels weird to go from sharing a room to sleeping alone as well#anyway I had such a good time and the weather was amazing#gatherrambles#gathertravels
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when the realisation ✨finally✨ dawns on you but it’s wayyyy too late
#so. to preface. i’m an idiot who often misses the point and stuff.#like it took me about 10 years to realise that i was being actively excluded from a group of girls#in which they went out of their ways to talk about all kinds of fun tall tales that all of them but me were involved in#(but i completely missed that they were trying to exclude me bc i was more interested in listening to their stories lmfaooo)#but anyways! a few weeks back my brother’s gf mentioned in passing that my bro told her that i went on the trip to look for bl manga#at first i was like ‘hahaha yeahhh i kinda read ‘em sometimes but not all the time yk’ but then i just realised that…#…he must’ve assumed that i was buying bl manga back when i bought vol 4 of idol sengen. fml#tbf!!!! there was a huge display of bl manga in the girls manga section of the store my family followed me into#so i guess i can see how he thought that i was buying bl manga? esp since i refused to let my fam see the cover of the book i bought?#but still… man. most of the bl manga on display there had v e r y spicy covers… lord knows which one he assumed i had bought…#there’s no way in heck i’m gonna correct him thought. nope. i don’t need him to go poking around in this fandom too#i’d d i e fr if he found this blog. so ig letting him continue with his assumptions is the lesser of two evils…#anyways. um. how was your wednesday~~~~?#it is suiyoubi my dudes
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hell week and shark week aligned…oh, i am barely gonna be making it through…….
#in case you missed me 🤭#i’ve been rehearsing for a show i’m gonna be in this week! and those rehearsals are bruuutal <3#and i woke up with cramps <3 so fun#somebody put me out of my misery#anyway. miss you#✸ cece speaks
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✨back by popular demand✨
#it’s me i’m back from my dallas trip!!#photos to come maYBE#it was truly chaotic and wild (joseph quinn’s handlers were legit the worst in the world but anYWAY)#it was fun! good memories! and a much-needed break!#now back to the regular slog until my next con/little trip in july!#missed you all and hope you’re doing okay! 💞💞💞💞#but like met jon bernthal 🥰 charlie cox 🥰 gabriel luna 🥰 jodi benson 🥰 grace van dien#and joseph quinn of course!!! he’s so cute and lovely but they overbook him to deATH and his handlers were horrible so the experience#was just not great 🫠🫠🫠 not joseph’s fault! he was so lovely but yeah ick#BUT!! all the others were SO BEYOND lovely — gabriel is maybe one of the most wonderful people i’ve met#he remembers people BY NAME and like went into his line to talk to people and thank them???#also he’s SO DAMN CUTE JFC i was literally swooning#he called me ‘sweetheart’ multiple times and my friend and i ‘cutie patooties’ like —#💍💍💍💍#also i got to hug charlie cox twice and it was VERY HEALING 😭💞#and we gave grace matching cutie bead ‘friendship bracelets’ to match ours we bought there from an artist/vendor#and we all just high pitch girl squealed like she’s literally so cute wtf (and i think she wore them the next day too 🥹😭)#ANYWAY gonna chill (be on discord and stuff!) and mentally prepare for work tomorrow#00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )
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SUNGHO SAYING “SEE YOU SOON SAN FRANCISCO” 😭😭 why are u guys going to my home when i’m not there 🥹🥹
#the way i’m gonna be here stuck at uni#while they are in the bay area#MY bay area?? MY beloved sf??#i miss them so bad 😭😭#anyways i hope they have so so much fun and have lots of clam chowder#and see the trolley cars#and love all the pride flags around the city#ennuitxt
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thinking about how lonely it all really is…
i wake up, i go to work, i come home exhausted. i do it 5-6 days a week… i was talking with my work bestie the other day and was again reminded that i never really do anything fun. i just work and pay bills and stare at my phone.
i put so much of my life on hold for someone who doesn’t want me and it’s taken me so long to get back to a place similar to where i was before she came into my life… but now i only really have one real life friend. the people i love are scattered hundreds and thousands of miles away.. (and i don’t just mean internet friends, i mean people i have built real life relationships with are just anywhere but here)
it’s so lonely. and it doesn’t feel “normal” early 20’s kind of lonely. it feels like it’s truly eating away at my bones, almost suffocating me. i wake up i go to work i come home and sit with my cats and that seems like all there is. i go to therapy, i go to work again, i pay bills, the debt total never seems to go down. it’s all the same over and over and there’s no end in sight.
i want to do fun things, but i don’t want to go clubbing or to bars or whatever. i just want to hang out and play board games or Jack box and go on walks and read books together and go window shopping or literally anything that’s DOING something. but i have no one to do them with and my attempt at budgeting holds me back.
i enjoy my own company, i can and do go places alone, but i want camaraderie, i want group pictures, i want memories i can share
but god it really is so lonely
#i’m talking#sorry this is sad i’m just going through it#i miss my friends#nz and wales are so far away why do two of my favorite people have to not be from here#kiwi is moving here for a year but that’s not for a few months and idk how that’s gonna go anyway#i just miss my friends#i want to go to New Orleans to surprise my friend for their college graduation but idk if i’ll be able to afford it#it’s like i have these big events that are fun but there’s no fun in between#people wonder how and why i work so much and honestly part of it is i get to actually be around people and laugh most of the time#it beats sitting at home alone on my couch all day everyday#anyway#if you’ve made it this far thank you for reading ily
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