#very good- lots of things I would have loved to have seen done/handled differently

[bnhaobservation]

Sorry for the late reply, somehow I didn't get notification you answered...

The way I see it the events you mentioned ARE incredibly significant and have a significant effect on the outcome of the story, they're important in the story, they have a purpose to their presence, they have consequences and that we would have a different story if such events had never happened and that they had or could have a large impact on society. They aren't a small detail that could be omitted.

The problem is they are relevant for the characters, to explain why they'll do what they'll do or why they did what they did, not to criticize society.

Specifically Chap. 301-302 are a flashback to explain why Touya is doing what he's doing. If Enji (and the Todorokis) hadn't done what he did, Touya would have never become Dabi and would have never harmed society in the way he did: murdering people, supporting the league in various situations, letting a Nomu loose in Kyushu, raising societal distrust on the Heroes, trying to nuke Japan.

And what Enji did is bad in the eyes of society not because Enji abused his family, this in Japan is viewed as a Todoroki family private business, but because Enji wasn't capable to look after his son so that said son went and abused society. Enji, as the family head, had the responsibility to raise children who wouldn't harm society and he didn't, what Touya does is the result of Enji's parenting and Touya does his very best to link his own destructive flames to Enji.

The people comment on how Enji should have denied Dabi's words, that confirming them meant he was finished and Enji had a lot of negative backlash for what he had caused once it became public knowledge his abuse of his family was what created Dabi and, if Horikoshi had taken care to dig into it, we would have seen the whole Todoroki family (Shouto included) facing societal hell for it because Japanese society is terrible with who's related with a criminal.

[Chap 301/302 originally also had another, less praiseworthy purpose which was... to retcon the Todoroki family past so as to discharge part of Enji's responsibility on his family members and paint him in a better light as one of the problems Horikoshi had with Enji is that in his very first prototype of him, Enji wasn't an abusive father but a good, duty devoted Hero, than that plan was retconned but still Rei should have been the bad guy of he Todoroki house, the one Shouto hated while he longed for his father's love and aprobation... but this got somehow scrapped with the U.A. sport festival but it evidently remained inside Horikoshi, who didn't want Enji to be bad.

Now, one of the reasons why I think Horikoshi's writing isn't great is that when he established Enji as an abuser, he made his own bed and should have slept in it and this means he should have found a way to either redeem or condemn Enji which wasn't let's try to retcon things so as to shift the blame, a plan which failed as readers spotted the retcon, which resulted in him having to fix the scene for the volume version and in the Todoroki plot to become a lot messier but I'm digressing.]

As for Jin's death, it has a HUGE consequence on Himiko. We see it in the first war, she doesn't know who killed Jin or how, but instead than trying to escape, she reacted to his death by going on a muder rampage. She then will questions Uraraka and Midoriya and, later, she'll start a new Sad Man Parade that's quite murderous. Himiko wasn't prone to active fighting, she preferred to avoid it and escape when she wasn't one against one. At the training camp arc, right when she was basically introduced, as soon as the fight turns two against one she escapes because she doesn't want to be killed. Even in the first war, before Jin was killed, she was escaping along with Compress.

Basically Jin's death is needed to change Himiko, plus Sad Man Parade is handled as a big deal during the war, especially because Himiko could have cloned Shigaraki and Touya too, creating more powerful enemies for the Heroes... but Jin's death also works as a consequence to stop this, as Himiko is so angry she can't use Touya and Tomura's Quirk (which is another point for which to me Horikoshi isn't a great writer because as an excuse/explanation it's poor... but still it's something Jin's death impacted and that wouldn't have happened without Jin's death).

As for society, they don't really care that Jin was murdered, but they were affected by how Hawks's image was crashed. Up until then he has presented himself as a friendly and careless yet reliable person, and now it turned out he was the son of a killer who murders people with ease like his Villain father.

Remember the sham society Lady Nagant talked about?

Society was so used to the pretty image that it was traumatized by it being shattered.

Heroes were compared to Japanese idols and the reaction is similar to when one idol breaks their prefabricated image, with the extra problem Hawks broke it by turning out sharing his blood with a criminal which is a big sin in Japan.

So yeah, those events are terribly significant... but not in the way they would be if this were a story written for people from my country, who would focus on how Hawks and Enji broke OUR laws and did something we deem horrible.

Horikoshi embraces the way of doings things of his country he has no intention of criticizing society, laws and so on.

Horikoshi: I don’t draw with the intention of conveying a message because of current social situations or the real world. I draw with a sense of responsibility towards the world of MHA, I’m always thinking about how I can make the manga interesting. Reporter: What does “interesting” mean to you? Horikoshi: Looking back, I wasn't into manga for the cool special moves or cool characters. ONE PIECE made me cry. I think my heart shaking & being emotionally moved makes something interesting to me. Crying becomes an experience, and I want my readers to have that experience. [Memo from 2024.07.19 news zero]

In the end, even though abusive parents were what caused himiko and Touya to become Villains, Quirk counseling focuses on children and on teaching them how to fit in society.

Murdering Villains is confirmed to be something that brings pain to those who cared about said Villains but it's not considered wrong, people were inspired by Midoriya doing his best to kill Shigaraki and finally doing it.

We can't say Horikoshi put a chekhov’s gun on stage and didn't fire it, he fired it, it's just it was aimed at a different purpose from what a good part of the not Japanese fandom expected.

In BNHA same as in Japan back then, Enji and Hawks are no criminals for what they did and Horikoshi never wanted to toss them in a jail. Their actions upset society a lot, but not on the behalf of their victims but because they end up on impacting society, who's attacked by Touya and can't trust in Hawks any longer.

To us they're terrible because they're a crime against their victims.

This means we're more prone to criticize what we were shown because we recognize it as inequivocably bad where for readers in which it's not a crime it's SUPPOSEDLY easier to shrug it off and play the game Horikoshi wants them to play 'we aren't here to criticize society and laws' (though as 10 years went by from when the story started and things changed in Japan and yet Horikoshi didn't update to his audience, I've noticed said audience grew more critical as well).

The cultural dissonance is something we've to keep into consideration when criticizing why Horikoshi did what he did with his work because OF COURSE, we're bound to look at it with eyes that reflect our cultural beliefs and not his own.

All this to say that for me, due to my culture, Enji and Hawks' actions look very bad as they're a crime. Horikoshi though, likely didn't see them as bad as me and didn't plan to pant them as bad as they look to me or he would be criticizing his own society who doesn't see them as bad as I see them.

Sometimes it's not just beauty what is in the eye of the beholder, this is probably one of those cases in which interpretation of a scene also lie there, and exactly because there's such a huge cultural dissonance we can't find satisfaction in how the story handles the consequences of those scenes.

At least those are my two cents on the whole thing.

As others, even Japanese fans, had said though, the portrayal of such delicate issues as 'spicy/sad setting' (especially in the Todoroki family case) ends up being something that ranges from tone deaf to insensitive to the people who experienced such dramas. Many agree it's great Enji feels sorry and wants to atone but the handling of his victims isn't equally cool and disappointed people even in the Japanese fandom (though not as harshly as in the not-Japanese fandom).

If I were to sum up my feelings on BNHA is that for being a work that is focused about SAVING, OFFERING A HELPING HAND, it's pretty lacking in the empathy department and prefers a moralistic, good victim/bad victim approach that borders on considering his readers dense.

We really didn't need Midoriya, Uraraka, Shouto to make moralistic speeches when fighting their Villains that end up on bordering on the insensitive, ridicule when Uraraka forgets she can soothe Himiko's fear of being killed by reminding her she's under 18 and Japan doesn't sentence to death who's under 18 and Shouto doesn't tell Touya that no, the family didn't forget him, nor we needed Midoriya to force his way into Tomura's psyche in a way that ultimately kills Tomura just to know what was wrong with him and soothe his rage.

We especially didn't need to see Touya being put in such a horror tube when he could have been placed in a hospital bed or Fuyumi and Natsuo being forgotten by the story that's instead focused on showing us Enji with a new family in form of his sidekicks and Hawks.

But that's what we got and that wasn't really great regardless of the culture one came from... at least that's how I feel regarding all this.

Ultimately Horikoshi went for cliffhangers and cheap tears built on backstories that weren't planned and therefore weren't well constructed in a story that claims to want to be nice but can't really act realistically nice because it doesn't really want to tackle what's wrong.

For all the rambling about saving, Midoriya becomes a source of inspiration to people because he did his best AT KILLING AFO-POSSESSED TOMURA, an ending that's more fitting for stories that do not have as a central theme offering a helping hand but beating the bad guys and in which the characters can still be kind and offer a helping hand but this won't be remarked so much it feels it's a central theme (hell, Toriyama Akira had Son Goku from Dragon Ball save more prominent Villains than the ones that get saved in BNHA and with less moralizing speeches... -_-).

But whatever, I guess I'm digressing, sorry about the last venting bit.

okay but even if we cop out* by accepting the argument that BNHA reflects different cultural values and that certain critiques of it are therefore not valuable/inappropriate, BNHA still completely fails from a writing standpoint as well. the things that get handwaved as cultural relativism in the ending were presented as unambiguously bad things at earlier points in the story (Endeavor’s abuse of his family, Hawks’s extrajudicial murder of Twice.) looking at their minimal at best impact on the ending, these things may as well have not happened at all. from a writing/craft standpoint, what was the point of raising those issues earlier in the story and making a big deal out of them at the time? was it to fill space? what was the point of those fairly significant storylines if they didn’t affect the outcome even slightly? why make a big gesture of waving chekhov’s gun around only to put it back?

BNHA can be a cultural artifact, sure. And it can be a shining example of bad writing at the same time.

*I personally see this as a cop-out. That is a personal viewpoint. I am not criticizing people who accept this viewpoint, just stating my own opinion.

[puns-and-musicals]

“They won’t make this romantic, right? Because that would be weird for… so many reasons”

- me, apparently forgetting what show I was watching

[alluringeight]

Astro Observations 6🎲

🎯I seen where someone said Aquarius/Pisces placements in men have a foot fetish and I can confirm this lol. If you have ugly feet but a pretty face they’ll pass.

🎯You tend to admire how people with your mars sign handle themselves. You could be inspired by how they handle conflict as well as their demeanor.

🎯Having a sun in 1st means you were born when the sun was rising.

🎯Sun in 5th house could indicate a person who lack responsibility and are only to have fun. They love attention and having flings but could potentially lack stability. May get stability from those around them.

🎯Having your moon opposite someone’s Saturn could mean different love languages and lack of emotional communication. Saturn person could be annoyed by the moon’s sensitivity & playful ness. Ex having Capricorn Saturn with someone with Cancer moon; Capricorn take life very serious, very mature & want to get things done. Cancers can be more emotional and demanding because they tend to be clingy and would rather have light playful energy while Capricorn doesn’t necessarily deem it necessary and could be annoyed but if communication becomes better they can meet in the middle.

🎯I’ve noticed that Sagittarius & Aries tend to clash a lot. Two powerhouses and one may feel a need to initiate competition. It gives it can’t be two bad b* at the top. One of them could be insecure and see the other as a threat.

🎯Pluto touching your ascendant could make the goofiest rising seem sexy & intense. It gives the appearance of having edge even if you don’t.

🎯8th house is about transformation and lessons. In natal charts you will learn lessons may go through ego deaths and when you don’t learn lessons you tend to go through the same situation until you apply the things you’ve learned . In solar return it could mean a year where you learn major lesson depending on the placement you could go inward and have alot of things you need to sort out before the year is over; could be more emotionally sensitive and it could be draining. Having a stellium in 8th in SR could mean you may need to explore situations that you’ve been avoiding causing major death & rebirth energy. You shouldn’t end the year the same way you started.Unlearning & unlocking emotional baggage. Ex moon in 8th could mean your emotional depths, mother or family wounds that may need to be evaluated and healed. Sun in 8th could mean you reinventing yourself strengthening your sense of self & becoming unapologetic about who you are.

🎯8th house placements in SR could also indicate going to therapy since your overwhelmed with heavy emotional energy.

🎯Having your Midheaven in a person rising sign could indicate a major age gap.

🎯Pisces stellium makes a person lazy. May need earth or fire placements to balance that out.

🎯Since mars is at home in Scorpio these individuals are not afraid to be conformational and will get their point across by any means. They will call you out and air out all your dirty laundry.

🎯Underdeveloped & immature scorpios tend to be backstabbers. They can be passive aggressive but they forgive they never forget and while you think it’s all good they’ll undermine you and won’t feel bad about it because you did something to them first.

🎯Sun trine Saturn gives a person leader vibes. They are so mature and tend to like older individuals; may have more older friends or people always compliment them for being mature. Can be mistaken as older than what they are cause of this. Especially with earth signs

[vintagetimetarot]

What does your crush think of you? 💭

+ do they like you back? 💓

It’s been a LONG TIME since I’ve made a PAC. I’ve had a lot of challenges this past year, which is why there has been such a lack, I hope I am forgiven. But this is a topic that excites me and something I’m dealing with too, and that I do not see very often. We’ll know from this PAC by the end what your crush thinks of you and the big question, if they like you back or not! I will be honest, so beware. This PAC will be a bit shorter. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t, it’s a general reading. As always, pick a vintage image below using your intuition, don’t overthink it too much. Have fun!

Pile 1:

Your crush has a complicated view of you, but another better way I’d say is balanced as well. They are some parts of you they really love and admire, but do notice some flaws within you. I think their first impression of you may not have been the greatest. They view you as a little too sensitive, and you don’t handle conflict and challenges very well in their eyes. You come off a bit melancholy and nervous in your interactions with one another. I think they know you like them, and the way you present themselves to them makes it clear. Have you and your crush not talked much recently or at all? I’m getting hallway crush or that sort of vibe. I think some things they hear about you are based on other people or in group settings. Despite these flaws, I think they find you to be a very mature person and they know you take things seriously, and would take things seriously in a relationship as well. Your crush seems to think of you sometimes in passing, but not too much. I’m getting that this is still early stages. They sort of wish to know you more, like they want to move on and break the ice with you. They are secretly hoping you get over you shyness more it seems lol. They also find you to be physically attractive, and that you have a very out there and positive personality. I think they’ve only seen one side of you, but they know that there’s much more depth to you and that you can be a very lovely and vibrant person to be around. They also find you to be a high achiever, and think you do a good job and getting things done.

Do they like you back?:

Unfortunately but unsurprisingly, this is a no. Stages are just too early and they don’t know you well enough. They have other options romantically they seem to not want to invest in, and they are happy with where they are. They don’t want to change their romantic situation right now or they are already in a committed relationship. If this isn’t the answer you want, don’t fret too much yet, because there is still a chance to grow this connection because it’s early, at least as a friend.

Pile 2:

You seem to know your crush well already. They may be a longtime friend, or just someone you’ve know for awhile now. They honestly think very highly of you it seems, pile 2. They admire your generosity, kindness, and how well you are in interacting with people. For some of you this person may know or may be close with your family, for some people this person may have a different cultural background than you. I see that they think you are a well rounded person with admirable qualities! They always rely on you for good judgement and you’re a really good role model to them. They find you curious and venturesome, and they enjoy spending time with you, ESPECIALLY when you guys are traveling. They may think about going on trips with you or you have had been on trips with your crush. They think you’re so wise, and that you have so much to offer to this world. You may be very passionate in a certain field you wanna pursue as a career, and they think that it suits you, and they love that passion about you. For some of you they may not vocally express enough appreciation for you, because to them it’s common knowledge you know that you’re great! They can almost like sit in peace with themselves even if they don’t see in years from now like “yeah, they’re gonna go out and cure cancer!” That kind of energy.

Do they like you back?:

They don’t like you back, but they do think so highly of you and deeply appreciate you. They are honored to be in your life. I really get this is especially the case if this is a longtime friend of yours that you happen to be crushing on. They would be really saddened if you guys cut ties with one another or if they ended up upsetting you.

Pile 3:

DAMN, your crush has a lot to say about you Pile 3. First of all, they ADORE being around you. You give them purpose! They feel so giddy and happy around you, you really make them feel like a little kid. Every hangout feels like an adventure with you, and like they are really making some good memories. They notice that you have a strong personality, but they are attracted to that and love that about you. They love that you are a leader, and seem to be well respected by most people they know that know you. This person acts really childish around you. I think they are generally a a reasonable person, but when you “act stupid” or childish they can’t help but find it contagious, but in a happy way. This person seems to be relatively new to your life it seems. They seem to really love you, honestly. They can really see you in their life forever or a very long time. They want to watch you accomplish and take on big tasks. I think you are a very ambitious person, and they love that about you! They also like your friends, and if they met your family they like them too. You just bring such positive energy to the table that it inflicts upon them, and they LOVE IT!

Do they like you back?:

Oh definitely. They REALLY like you, love even. Though you guys are still progressing, they envision a romantic future with you as well, and I think for a good bit, like 60% of you they are probably planning to ask you out or have been thinking about it but have gotten too scared to ask. Things are moving a bit slowly, but they definitely have feelings.

Pile 4:

They love being around you, really. You may be very social around your crush, and that’s where you spend most of your time whether it be school clubs, parties, etc. They find you confident, and even flirtatious. They also find you very physically attractive. If you are a woman or female presenting, they find you so feminine and beautiful, and they love how you style your hair and do your makeup. Overall though regardless of gender they find you very physically attractive, and especially your body, regardless of how it is they love it. Your crush thinks you are easy to get along with, so they have no problem conversing with you. They think you respect their time well, which they deeply appreciate. They seem to offer you cups and pieces of affection here and then. They find you to be so passionate, like you’re a real go getter to this person! They think you’re fierce and confident. You may have a stronger personality, and they like that. You’re overall just very easy to get along with. They just get caught up in your little world together of conversations and hanging out, it’s very charming. They think about you in passing, sometimes they even miss you when you aren’t around. Your presence is just really defining to them.

Do they like you back?:

They do like you back, and actually have strong feelings for you, but the thing is, they don’t know how to manage them that well yet. This person is scared of intimacy, and may let their fears override, so they avoid relationships. They think fondly of you and love you, and miss when you’re around but still right now aren’t ready for this relationship. You need to give this person time to catch their breath and let things unfold naturally.

[xjulixred45x]

Jjk yanderes (gojo, choso, Nanami.. etc) with darling who just doesn’t give a damn about them being a yan. Like the yandere can kill someone or be extremely clingy, and the darling is just like 🤷‍♀️ cool who cares. Like they just accept it and continue, not rlly caring about how bad of a person their yandere is to other people, as long as they’re good to darling. If yan is extremely clingy, or “nicely” pressure darling to move in with them, darling is just like “ah okay 🤷‍♀️ free rent ig”

I live for willing darling supremacy

Yandere Satoru Gojo/Kento Nanami/Choso Kamo x Darling who dosen't care that they are Yandere

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: neutral

Warnings: Yandere behaviors, unhealty mindset, overbearing behavior, overprotection, darling is willing and is totally okay with Yandere being Yandere

Choso Kamo

• AWWWW CHOSO IS DEFINITELY THE BEST YADERE ON THE LIST.

• Not only is he a respectful Yandere who won't do anything Darling isn't comfortable with, but he's so damn sweet it's almost diabetic.

• In general, Choso is the most likely to have a willing Darling, because Choso probably doesn't even fall in love with a “normal person” in the first place.

• Most likely a curse user, for example, or with a strange ability that makes them socially rejected. Precisely generating a mutual empathy that evolves into something more.

• In Choso's case, he has never seen REAL romantic relationships before, he has no idea how to approach his romantic interest, so he ends up showing his affection in unorthodox ways.

• Like, for example: watching them in the middle of the night as they arrive home safely and without problems (if so, he will happily get rid of the problem).

• Give very personal gifts or bizarre gifts (that may or may not be stained with something red).

• Even going so far as to kidnap the reader if things get bad with the Curse users and he needs to “protect” them more closely.

• Choso genuinely doesn't realize how creepy and unhealthy all of this is, he rationalizes and justifies it with his own young mentality. He does not do it out of malice, it is genuine love, but tainted with misdirected actions.

• For the same reason, he doesn't even see anything strange in the fact that the reader is chill with the whole kidnapping. Just because it's the first time he's done this, was they supposed to react differently?

• Choso is so hungry for acceptance and affection that when the reader gives it to him without reservation, he simply melts and can't handle himself anymore. He had wanted this for so long and he didn't even know it.

• Choso is loving, he respects his Darling's wishes and tries to get them to act like his version of a “normal” couple.

• Probably the only Yandere on this list who would listen to the reader's recommendations and ideas, precisely because he knows that they have no malice. And like I said before, Choso prioritizes his partner's comfort above everything else, so he takes their opinion very seriously (LEARN SOMETHING GOJO)

• The most emotionally intelligent of the three, ironically. He is the oldest of ten children and is definitely good at comforting Darling. Always with open arms and dry shoulders.

• Protective at lethal levels, he will not blink to kill large numbers of people if they come between him and Darling.

• In general, he doesn't realize it at first, but it doesn't like it affects him in the long term. He knows reader is his and he is of reader. Forever.

Kento Nanami

• He is suspicious, A LOT.

• Nanami is one of the few self-conscientious Yandere in JJK, who at the same time takes a RIDICULOUS amount of time to finally take the next step in approaching his Darling and hitting it off.

• And when he does, it takes a STUPID amount of willpower and conviction for him not to simply push reader out of their life, even though reader is clearly miserable, Kento knows they would be even more so if they lived with a monster like him.

• But to his surprise, it is READER who keeps looking for him, it is READER who wants to talk to him and stay in touch. It's like they completely ignore all the red flags that Nanami shows every time they are together (overprotection, jealousy, even violence)

• By the same token, he finds it difficult to believe that anyone GENUINELY is okay with the kind of attitudes he has proven to have OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

• When Nanami demands (politely) that the reader move in with him, he expected to have to resort to some manipulation tactic, to have to make the reader feel OBLIGED to do it, but the only thing he encountered was a “Okay, free rent”

• I MEAN???

• You can't blame the man for feeling confused.

• Nanami tries to give his Darling more space than Gojo, but at the same time he is so overprotective that it almost seems the opposite. He is able to put cameras in the house, have the reader wear an ankle bracelet when he is traveling, do regular medical checkups to ensure they are not sick, etc.

• Also Kento will not allow any item that could be useful for the reader to harm themself, putting a lock on the knife cabinet, putting razors out of service, even not allowing shoes with strings (in more extreme cases)

• HE DOES ALL THAT AND THEY HOPE HE'S NOT SUSPICIUOS???

• However, when Darling tells him why, it puts it a little more into perspective.

• Reader is not with Nanami because he is harsh and demanding with everyone, reader is with him because of how delicate and sweet Kento is with them, how he is patient with them, how he tries to improve their day, whether by bringing them food or trying to be emotional, how he cares for them.

• The reader doesn't care about others, they only cares about KENTO. And Kento doesn't care about others, he only cares about Darling.

• From here on, things improve, Nanami is no longer so paranoid, the reader gains certain freedoms by showing that they is genuinely voluntary (like being able to go out with Nanami, go shopping together, etc.)

• It is a new domestic environment, much calmer and happier.

• Nanami's Yandere tendencies are even taken down a notch. After all, why be jealous of someone who is already yours? Obviously he will take good care of them, but he knows he can trust them and they can trust him.

• They are a mutually twisted couple. But they love each other, at the end of the day. That's what's important.

Satoru Gojo

• Oh, he's ENJOYING this like you have no idea.

• I think the ideal Darling for this scenario would be someone who has had a bad time in life, someone who has hardly experienced love. Quite the opposite, Satoru, for the same reason he felt as attracted to the reader as he did.

• Some of them did it out of obligation, saving the weak, no matter how exhausting it may be, however, the reader ended up finding it more and more… more interesting. More intoxicating.

• He expected fighting, screaming and crying. But instead he was simply met with acceptance, resignation, indifference to his advances. Like they didn't care how obviously HARMFUL he was.

•Although, Gojo is self-centered enough to believe that his Darling loves him even if they doesn't, so by acting on his expectations they is only inflating his massive ego.

• I think he would be the only Yandere that no matter if the reader is voluntary or not, he is still one of the worst to have.

• Although of course, it's not so bad for a reader who is okay with it.

• Gojo is a very affectionate Yandere who is very erratic and definitely likes to have his “partner” around to ensure that they are within reach. Under His protection and control.

• With a willing reader, Satoru would be slightly softer, as he doesn't even think that this could be a trick, he can see through them after all.

• That means, more gifts, more pampering, and after a certain time, more freedoms. It's not a big deal, it's just walks to the park or in the car. But this reader has many more privileges, such as internet access, more space, etc.

• even Satoru tends to listen to them more because he knows that they do not “play”, because he respects them more than if they were involuntary (in that case he would probably look down on them to determine dominance, but here it is not even necessary!)

• As time goes by, Gojo would even start bringing Reader to his workplaces, simply because he can't keep his hands to himself, he is just confident enough that Reader isn't going to run away, and what do you think? They don't!

• If Satoru ever hears the reasoning behind why the reader stays with him, he would partly laugh, he honestly thinks it's funny that they only does it for the rent and being alone.

• However, this can quickly evolve into anger at whoever has hurt the reader in the past. With Gojo, no one gets away with it.

• He's a jealous Yandere, even if he's sweet and cuddly, he's always VERY close to just killing the entire mall every time they go shopping for new clothes. It's the custom.

• Fortunately, it seems that the reader knows what they've gotten themselves into, so I wouldn't worry about them, I'd worry about anyone who has done something to them in the past, because now they have some kind of nuclear bomb for a boyfriend.

• Good luck!

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

I'll update a little later bc i'm with a new medication for the Anemia thingy, but not worry! I'll still take Requests until about 10 of febraury.

I'm kind of missing taking Request of forgoten fandoms in the blog(like Voltron, Slugterra, Dororo(Tahomaru My Child), ahhhhh, the good Old days)

[eddiemunsonistheloml]

Dean Winchester nsfw alphabet

Masterlist

Taglist

�� Paring(s): Dean Winchester x reader

☆ Words: 1,452

☆ Warnings: Lots of mentions of sex (obviously) but no actual smut, 18+, established relationship, mentions of oral, sex toys, edging, cum, masturbation (dean), swearing, pls lmk if i need to add anything else

☆ Summary: nsfw alphabet. idk what else to say.

A - After Care (what they’re like after sex and how they take care of you)

Dean would be the BEST at aftercare. As soon as your done, he would just sit inside you for a few minutes while whispering praises to you, telling you how good you did before gently pulling out. He would always give you the option of having a shower now or later. If you chose to shower right after, he would carry you to the shower and clean your body for you. He also loved to wash your hair for you while giving you a head massage. If you chose to shower later, he would get a damp towel and wipe you both up before helping you get dressed in his shirt and then, he would hold you tightly as you cuddled under the covers together before you both doze off.

B - Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and yours)

His favourite of himself is probably his jawline or his muscles. Idk why it just makes sense to me. He would be so cocky about how strong he is, specially how easy it was for him to carry you around and man handle you.

Honestly as cheesy as it sounds, Dean loves your entire body so incredibly much that it’s hard for him to just pick one favourite body part. He thinks you’re the most beautiful person that he has ever seen in his entire life. But if he had to choose, it would probably be your tits and he wouldn’t even care how big or small they are. (He has stated multiple times that boob pillows are the best kind of pillows.)

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum)

If he doesn’t cum inside you he’ll probably cum on your tits/stomach or if you’re facing down, it’ll be on your back/ass. He has always loved to watch his cum leak out of you after he finishes inside you..

D - Dirty Secret (self explanatory)

It’s no lie that dean loves to take pictures of you but you don’t quite realize how many dirty pictures of you he has. He definitely keeps a dirty Polaroid picture of you- probably from when you guys were having sex, in his wallet so he can always see you.

E - Experience (How experienced are they in bed?)

We all know Dean is very experienced and it shows. He knows your body better than you do at this point. He knows every little thing about your body, what feels good, what doesn’t, how to make you scream, etc.

F - Favourite Position (self explanatory)

He’s a classic and loves missionary or pretty much any position where he gets to watch your pretty face as he turns you into a big mess. He also loves doggy style and fucking you in the impala (after putting his leather jacket down because baby deserves better than that).

G - Goofy (how serious are they during sex?)

Dean is usually pretty serious during sex but he also likes joking around with you. Sometimes when he’s not as serious, you would both be giggling and laughing together as he fucks into you.

H - Hair (how well groomed are they? What do they think about their partner having hair or not?)

I don’t think Dean would really bother with shaving. He would definitely keep himself pretty trimmed for the most part though.

He would not give a single flying fuck if you shaved or not. You could wax or never shave or anything and it wouldn’t make a difference. All that matters to him is if you’re comfortable or not.

For example:

“Can I take these pretty little panties off, sweetheart?” “I haven’t shaved..” “I don’t give a fuck and that’s not what I asked.”

I - Intimacy (how romantic they during sex)

He’s usually pretty intimate but it takes a while for him to be. He’s used to casual hook ups and one night stands so he never really opened up to anyone that way before.

J - Jack-off (do they masturbate? How often)

This man is such a slut and he masturbates a lot. Sometimes he wishes you would walk in on him and help him out. Whenever you’re apart for whatever reason like if he’s on a hunt without you, 9 times out of 10 he’s jerking off because he misses you.

K - Kinks (some of their kinks)

He 100% has a size kink. He loves how much his cock would stretch you open, more than anything else in the world. Dean also probably has a small daddy or sir kink but it’s not too intense.

Love love LOVES when you tell him he’s doing good. He loves knowing he’s making you feel good and loves your accidental praises while you fall apart. (He loves praising you as well).

L - Location (where they prefer to have sex)

Dean will honestly fuck you anywhere he can. The most common spots you have sex are in bed or in baby (like I said before).

M - Motivation (what turns them on?)

Pretends to hate it but he secretly loves when you’re being bratty, loves putting you back in your place.

N - No (what won’t they do? Turn offs)

Dean is pretty open to anything but he would never want to hurt you too bad, he’s down for a little spanking or even sometimes choking but he will never get too rough in that way. If you don’t want to do something then he doesn’t either.

O - Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving?)

He loves making you feel good but he also goes down on you for himself too. He’s so obsessed with the way you taste, and the noises you make when he eats you out. He also loves when you give him blow jobs but defiantly prefers giving.

P - Pace (how fast&rough or slow&soft they are)

Dean can be very rough but also very soft. He usual likes to fuck you rough and hard into the mattress but he also really likes gentle, soft sex. Especially when it’s early in the morning, you’re both still half asleep but also needy he can be really soft and sweet.

No matter if he’s being rough or soft he makes sure you’re okay constantly.

Q - Quickies (what is their opinion on quickies? Do they do them often?)

Dean is always so horny so quickies are a regular thing for you guys. He obviously loves taking his time with you but when you don’t have much time we is always down for a quickie.

R - Risk (how much do they experiment? Do they take risks?)

He is such a kinky person and would be down to try almost anything with you at least once.

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they last?)

He will usually go for 1-2 rounds but he can last up to 4.

T - Toys (do they own toys? How do they use them?)

Dean would hardly ever user toys on you unless you specifically asked him to. He’s selfish and wants to be the only one who can make you feel good.

U - Unfair (how much do they tease?)

I swear to fucking god this man is the biggest tease EVER. He would tease you forever if he could because he loves making you whine and beg for him.

V - Volume (how loud they during sex)

Dean never shuts the fuck up during sex so in that way he’s very loud. As far as moaning goes, he is usually not very loud but he will groan quietly.

W - Wild Card (random headcanon)

Dean loves to edge you, he could go for hours and never get bored. You could be crying and begging for him to let you cum but that cocky little bastard will keep going for a while before be finally lets you cum.

X - X-ray (what are they packing under their clothes?)

He’s a solid 8 inches and is also thick as fuck which he constantly brags to you about.

Y - Yearning (how high their sex drive is)

Hornist man you will ever meet. He is always down for sex.

Z - Zzz (how fast they fall asleep after)

It would usually take Dean a while to fall asleep after sex, unless you really tired each other out. He always makes sure you fall asleep first (even when you don’t have sex), so he can make sure you’re okay and safe. He likes to watch you sleep for a while before actually sleeping himself because he claims that you always look so peaceful.

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated <3

[meo-eiru]

I kinda like the small yet big detail in the game, like I'm sure myself and some other people were expecting a wholesome dating sim that would also get quite spicy (FROM HOW WE KNOW MERU)

And we all just kinda got kicked in the butt, like Starling being too hot to be true yet so terrifying at the same time, but not the terrifying kind that we know, like Micah or Silas etc

More like the type that makes you forget that he still is more a siren than a merman, like he successfully managed to lure in the whole community with his hot ass😭😭and then we get backstabbed by him munching our fingers off as if they're some carrots, like as a simple lunch snack-💀💀

Or in the other ending where it's basically simply Mae dying and getting turned into a possession and probably just another body to fill up with tongues

From my interpretation, Starling doesn't really have that kind of romantic interest in Mae, but she kinda thought it could go into that direction, but then got stabbed in the back like that😭😭(probs everyone who played it, thought like Mae there too kinda💀so we all got the betrayal🙁)

And you guys did a really good job in simply catching us all off guard in most scenes, it's it's beautifully written and drawn, I love that game so much!!!

Spoilers for the game

Honestly maybe Sel would give a different answer but I do think Starling likes Maelyn. Due to his past and what he has now become his way of showing it is probably different, but for Starling I don't think Maelyn is just another body for storing tongues. If that was the case he wouldn't have went out of his way to clean her body up, find a wedding dress and "marry" her in his own makeshift way.

He probably didn't even view it as a betrayal. Because until the very end Starling was making sure the no longer breathing Maelyn could be comfortable in her pearl necklace.

For the writing style, probably Sel writing the story played a big part in this.

Sel and I have very similar tastes in a lot of things, on levels I myself can't believe sometimes. But we do have a different style at how we depict similar concepts.

I love presenting dark stories on a silver platter. Prettied up with the most delicious icings and shiniest sprinkles. I like my stories and characters to look beautiful. Enjoy them while thinking you're just having whimsy adventures only to realize you're done for once you truly look. Like Silas. It's easy to make fun of him, forget the things he is capable of doing as you're too busy enjoying his silliness. He feels safe, a gentle giant who loves and takes care of you.

But he's still a man who has forced himself on you not only physically but also mentally. Trapped and limited you beyond belief. No electricity, no internet, no contact with anyone other than him. Only talking to him, only feeling him, only knowing him, only consuming him. A beautiful and sweet man no human mind can handle for more than a few weeks.

But Sel, from what I've seen, is a bit different. She doesn't shy away from showing the darkness and scariness of the stories she makes. Before you even know it you'll be facing concepts you didn't think could be possible.

And not only that, she hides so much under every word she uses. Often times the things she places in front of you are not even the scariest parts. The more you read and the more you decipher they get deeper.

I'm frankly a big fan of the things she writes. They often leave me flabbergasted (and mortified, she knows what I mean) but they are also so so fun. So scary yet beautifully poetic.

I know she doesn't like being under the spotlight that much. But ever since I met her and saw her stories I wanted more people to get the chance to see and appreciate them the way they deserved. I think they are truly special, and they make me want to do my best to illustrate them in the perfect way possible.

Honestly I'm not sure if I'm good enough at it, but if it helps the stories reach more people I'm happy with it.

I don't know if she'll read this post so that's why I'm being sappy like this but I genuinely hope you guys like her stories like I do. And I hope both you and I can see more and more of it.

[followthebluebell]

would love a list of low energy enrichment activities to try with cats. im always looking for more ways to be involved with my cat but she is 3 and very high energy and after a long day i often dont have the spoons to chase her around with a toy while she finds new exciting hiding spots to look at it from. this makes me sad :( i dont want her to be understimulated

Food-based enrichment:

Feeder toys are a favorite! But these carry the drawback of requiring cleaning afterwards, so calculate that into your spoons. Some of them are machine washable, so that may be an option if you've got a dishwasher.

Snuffle mats - another favorite, these also require the occasional clean but don't need to be cleaned every time you use them. You can make your own pretty easily. Or, hell, just grab a very cheap bath mat from a dollar store. Your cat won't know the difference.

Scatter feeding - literally just. Throw a handful of treats or kibble on the floor or down the stairs. Literally, that's it. Calculate clean-up into your spoons because cats aren't reliable vacuums. But it keeps them busy for a few minutes.

Toy based enrichment:

Get a cardboard box. Crinkle up some brown wrapping paper or whatever cheap paper you've got on hand and put it in the box. Congrats, you've now combined your cats two favorite things in the world: boxes and paper. For extra fun, add catnip (or silvervine or whatever your cat's drug of choice is), toys, or treats.

Ripple Rug: this is actually a specific product. It's literally a square of carpet or rug with velcro on the bottom that attaches to ANOTHER square of carpet or rug. It's fairly stiff. The idea is that cats can dive into it and make their own little tunnels. My cats LOVE it. You can probably recreate it quite cheaply using cheap rugs or carpet, tbh.

Cat crinkle mats: again, this is something fairly easily made at home. You get some cheap crinkly plastic and sew it into two old washclothes or something similar. Congrats. You now have a little mat your cats can sit on, bat around, and crinkle. You can also just buy them in multiple sizes. Many have catnip in them too.

Paper bags: cats just love paper bags. Be sure you remove the handles to make sure no one gets their head stuck. Most cats entertain themselves pretty well with bags.

Cat springs: those little plastic springs are a favorite, and so are those cheap rabbit-fur covered mouse toys.

Cat race track toys: another favorite.

Cardboard cat scratchers: the cardboard ones require MORE cleaning because they leave little bits of cardboard all over the place, but it is kind of nice that you can just throw them out when your cat is done. Any scratcher is good, though. I've listed cardboard for ease of clean-up and because it's a very popular material for cats.

Cat tunnels: like bags and boxes, cats just love tunnels.

I'm not a big fan of laser pointers or robotic toys. I haven't seen many cases of light chasing disorders in cats compared to dogs, but it's an issue enough that I don't readily recommend them. I also don't really recommend robotic toys because a lot of them make noises that cats don't like. If your cat enjoys these things, congrats; I just don't find them universally popular enough to really recommend. But I had to mention them, because if I didn't, my notes would be full of 'but what about Product X!!".

I've tried to keep this list to low cost toys and activities. There are other things you can do, like installing wall shelves or getting a big cat tree, but these things are more likely to be expensive, either in terms of money, time, or energy. I wanted to focus on low cost activities that I felt were more accessible to disabled folks.

[sirfrogsworth]

I use AI upscaling to help with my photo restorations. And it is the one use of generative AI that I think has serious merit. I use Topaz so it is ethically trained on licensed images. It helps me preserve memories and give people photos of their loved ones with a clarity they have never seen. They get a much better sense of what their grandpa looked like when he was young.

But AI upscaling is not a push button solution. And I don't think it will be for a long time, if ever. It's part of a larger workflow. It doesn't save me time or effort. In fact, it adds quite a bit of time to the restorations.

Sometimes I have to upscale the background and people separately. Often I have to adjust the contrast and detail on people's faces so the AI renders them accurately. I have learned how to set things up for success before the AI does its thing. And sometimes there is a lot of trial and error to get a non-nightmare result. Each try can take several minutes to render. There are several algorithms to choose from, several intensity sliders, and once the upscale is at a place I am happy with, I have to use traditional techniques to make the people not look like wax figures. I use things like custom film grains and LUTs to make the pristine AI result look like an old photo again.

In other words, I care about the photos I'm restoring.

I saw people talking about restoring Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. It's a very difficult problem due to how the show was produced. The live action was captured on film—which can be re-scanned at a higher resolution. But the digital effects were all done on analog 480p video tape. Not only would they need to be re-rendered but they would also have to be recomposited. Odo's shapeshifting is especially tricky. There isn't an economical way to remaster the show. TNG was only possible because they filmed practical assets for most of the VFX. They still had to redo all the compositing and it was very costly just to do that.

AI could be the answer. But only if the studio is willing to see it as a tool to be used in conjunction with artists and not a push button solution. Every frame needs to be checked. Different scenes will need different techniques to upscale them properly. And some scenes will just need to be cleaned up manually with traditional tools.

Upscaling to 1080p or 4K is often a mistake. The more extra pixels you try to add, the harder it will be to get a natural result. I think 720p would be a happy medium to shoot for. Combined with modern TVs traditional upscaling you will get a good viewing experience.

There are already fan upscales that are decent. I would say they managed to get the equivalent detail of maybe 600p. If you remember playing games on an old CRT monitor, going from 640x480 to 800x600 is actually a decent bump in detail.

Even though the files are outputted at 720p, it doesn't look quite as sharp as native 720p video. It's complicated to explain, but the short version is... detail and pixel resolution aren't really the same thing. Even if the file is upscaled to 1080p or 4K, that doesn't mean it has equivalent detail.

Which means we use a really shitty metric to give people a sense of how much detail a video will have. Ks and Megapixels are near useless these days.

Do your 200 megapixel phone photos really look sharper than my 24 megapixel DSLR photos?

My point is... detail is complicated.

And AI is currently unable to handle all of that complication without supervision and care.

In any case, the fan upscale of DS9 is definitely superior to the DVD versions. Feel free to seek that out (use a VPN). And because fans did it, the upscales were done with great care. They didn't push the tool beyond its limits and they reviewed every episode to make sure no nightmares snuck in.

I really don't know how to prevent studios from cheaping out and just running content through an upscaler with no care or supervision. But I also don't think fans should outright reject AI as a solution. It can be done well if they let actual artists leverage the tools and do it correctly.

[austinsastrology8991]

> Neptune IN the HOUSES < How your DELUSIONS find you RESOLUTIONS

Neptune in the First - You act so naive, and now people actually think your naive. But you hate it when people treat you this way, but your always swaying around and acting oblivious to everything around you, but ik its all a front, and people find you to be mystical and now everyone is entranced by this dance you make acting oblivious. its obvious its an act, but then the more you get to know them you realize its not and thats actually who they are, and you wonder why no one has bonked them on the head yet Neptune in the Second - you dont really value anything, you think everything comes and goes, and your just like a paper bag flowing through the wind tbh. But this quality of letting things be and go, allows you to be molded by life and that can be a useful tool for artisty, but man yall just give up easy tbh. also your voices are like ethereal - kiddd cudiiiiiieee Neptune in the Third - you guys talk like a movie character, and its never the villain but the naive protagonist who just believes in a bunch of bullshit. but everyone thinks your so amusing to lissten to and i suppose you are but sometimes you guys really are playing up this movie trope and well im done watching the same movie i want a re-cast. then next week you will re-cast yourself as a new protagonist and well everyone just loves to watch you be an idiot so keep it up Neptune in the Fourth - Your literally 'good will huntings robin Williams'. you act like you figured out emotions because you let them come and go, but when someone questions whats going on with you, you find a million reasons to explain why you behave this way, and why others do, whilst completely avoiding letting your emotions out because your way too sensitive youd rather keep it at them at a distance that way you can handle it Neptune in the Fifth - You guys are the embodiment of a amusement park. YOu perform a million different acts, and never run out of ideas on how to entertain. Very amusing to watch, but people tend to take you for granted since your always so fun to be around we just expect yalll to keep performing, and you can, but this eats you up inside. then you perform again showing us how you feel as usual, and how it feels being used, and well i guess its all good because you have a never ending source of material - yourselves

Neptune in the Sixth - IMO the real mvps of delusions. No one is as delusional as them but they dont even care because they have thought of so much bullshit and have found so much evidence for their bullshit that they now realized that what most people believe in is bullshit, so they just think everything is bullshit. They dont even give a fuck anymore because to them everything isnt real, and everything is real, they have trouble understanding reality, because they have seen things no one could ever believe exists Neptune in the Seventh - Hopelessly projecting what they want in the world just for it to never come to fruition. This is actually how they pull, so dont hate their game. but they tell people how they wish things would be, and people want to save them by showing them how the world works, or giving into their stupid delusions and pretending what they believe in is real. Kinda a lot to deal with. But they'll never admit that they act so innocent but then your basically taking care of a baby Neptune in the Eighth - They make the universe bend to their will whether it wants to or not. They will pull every magic trick they know to make sure that their delusions are not delusional anymore. And its impressive how much they believe in there imaginings that it does tend to become real, but i would warn them and whoever is around them; That their fantasies tend towards the dark. so if they want something to be real (and they gonna do everything they can to get it) they may or may not resort to black magic or some shady ass shit Neptune in the Ninth - They believe in god a lot, maybe too much to appear normal. They are the type to make up a cult and behave liek mormons and say it was the will of god. The people ive met with this are strange, and their beliefs alter quite a bit, and for some reason they always have met deities and angels. But they are so delusional in their beleifs that if you hear them out, its so far fetched youll get lost in them because your so curious how someone got so lost in their own religion you wonder if they'll ever return to the real world Neptune in the Tenth - They are openly strange. Bro dennis Rodman has this conj his midheaven and its just iconic really. These guys are the strangest most ethereal beings and everyone gets lost in their cult of personality. Always switching up their identity, they think reality is bullshit and well we are all here for it because yall do the strangest things and i just wanna watch what your gonnna do next. but im still trynna figure out how close i wanna get to you because being seen with you is a risk for my reputation, because you clearly dont give a fuck about yours Neptune in the Eleventh - How many acid shirts do you own. Its like your the public personification of 'make love not war and peace bro' and its cool everyone wants a freidn like you, but no one takes your advice seriously. Because your so lost in the make believe that you think your make believe can actually make someone make believe..... But like cmon how the fuck do you think thats going to change anything. WHen has 'peace bro' ever actually worked. do your charities or whatever but i do not see it working as much as you think it can. sorry not sorry. But i do love you. But get a haircut Neptune in the Twelvth - Your literally the type to lick your finger , put it up in the air and say 'yep it going to rain wednesday' then it actually rains wednesday. And your so cooked no one believes you (because why would you) but then it does happen and now eveyrone thinks your even more cooked because what you had cookin is a real recipe. Now everyone wants to know how you have your third eye or whatever open and now you just want to hide again lmao. Also incredible artists, i recommend you guys keep your intuitive insights to yourself because you are right a lot but why tell people when everyone is just going to question how you see signs rather than heed your advice

[annarobszombies]

This might be a bit weird so you can ignore this or use partially as an inspiration if something from this wall of text interests you to write.

My brain has been obsessed with Xeno and Stanley having a reader who is struggling with their inner balance of good & evil aka they are known as a person who wouldn't hurt even a fly and they truly want to help others and show mercy, even when that person is awful and done so bad things that they deserve the punishments and there is no redemption. Even then, the reader wants to stubbornly try their best to maintain optimistic visions of better world and that people can improve and be better if guided right and with gentle heart.

That is, until the reader is alone and there's no one around to see or hear, then they absolutely can breakdown and curse these people in the lowest hell possibly and would love to just get rid of these people themself in the most painful ways as they deserve with their own hands.

When ever these breakdowns happen the reader breaks something (or snaps out of that deep state of dark thoughts some other way), they would get scared themself, how awful things their mind contains and what they are ready to do if pushed enough in that direction. Most of all, they are afraid that if they don't have full control of themself they truly would fall on the dark side of life and entirely abandon their will to help anyone ever again.

The reader would hide this side of themself when around others, never gets caught of speaking ill about anyone and they maintain their "good person act" as long as possibly but lately it all has been cracking and it's just too much to bear and they are on a verge to do something stupidly bad that they would regred afterwards.

Xeno and Stanley could have seen hints that there's something different in the reader lately or they might have caught them in a bad time like in the middle of angry breakdown while the reader had thought they can be alone. Xeno/Stanley could reveal that they know now that the reader isn't just all smile and sunshine.

This is where my brain starts wonder is Xeno/Stanley would first just observe how long the reader can hold it together or they could also intervive before the reader starts majorly lose their hope for the good in this life.

I feel like Xeno could understand this as they were hold back by authorities and literally became dictator after his own fall when the society tried to supress his inventions.

Stanley on the other hand knows very well how it feels to do the dirty work and take out targets that are too dangerous to stay alive.

They could both help to stay on track or in "bad ending" they might be the ones that enable the reader to join the dark side.

This is where my brain stops working to connect the lines. I know this is a bit vague and strange but if this sparks an inspiration for short Xeno/Stanley/Reader fic, I would love to hear your take!

Wishing you that the day treats you well!

I have thoughts on this, and I hope I can get them across well.

Stanley would have them figured out immediately, and only because he's spent so much time with Xeno that he knows what someone desperately trying not to crash out looks like.

Xeno isn't blind either, and he's pretty quick on the uptake as well. Though he's significantly better at suppressing himself than they are, he knows just how hot someone's blood can run.

Neither of them would handle the situation in a healthy or helpful way at first, which would cause a lot of strain on everyone involved.

I'm definitely adding this to my fic list because you now have me equally as obsessed

[baneonono]

There are a lot of people talking about Penelope’s pov in the last song. People will discuss how she is hyper intelligent, what is means that she’s Spartan, how patient she’s been, what her final test for Odysseus was and what it means that she gave it to him. And there was definitely consent discord of people noticing that Odysseus asked Penelope if she would love him. And while all of this is great, it’s all been kind of bothering me because of the treatment of Penelope. 

One thing we haven’t been discussing is how Penelope has changed. Look there are two things that I think necessarily had to happen when Odysseus went away. Firstly Odysseus needed someone to fight for, someone to get home to. And this person was Penelope, and while I’m sure his understanding of her was good, it became stagnant because he was away from her without any contact. He was working very hard on getting back to an image, a representation of Penelope. There was this version of Penelope, that may very well have been perfectly similar to Penelope twenty years ago, but nonetheless was still a freeze frame, that he put on a pedestal. He needed to do this so he could get home. He needed to imagine his perfect wife, frozen in time, waiting for him, so that he could get home. 

But I also can assure you that Penelope was not frozen in time. She was left with a very young son and an entire kingdom to rule, however she handled it, she is not the same person she was twenty years ago. She has changed. That is inevitable. She has become a different person just like Odysseus has become a different person. Maybe she didn’t become a monster(I like to believe she did for parallel reasons but she doesn’t have to have) but she is not the same person. 

Now in all reality, they both went through the same thing, Penelope changed and was motivated to keep waiting by a freeze frame of her husband. Odysseus changed and was motivated to keep going by a freeze frame of his wife. Both are true because they both were separated from each other. But the reason I emphasize Penelope’s change is because everyone mostly seems to be ignoring it. And I think the reason Penelope is mad at the final song is because Odysseus is ignoring it. He hasn’t seen her for her yet. He’s still thinking about this conception of her in his head from twenty years ago when he asks her “would you fall in love with me again”. He’s not seeing her. He’s going on and on about how he’s done so many awful things and he’s become this monster that she won’t even recognize and he’s ignoring the person actually in front of him for this picture of her on a pedestal. And Penelope has to stand there and watch her husband grovel at her feet, not understanding that she has been changed, not allowing that her feelings for him would’ve changed her just as much, not seeing that the separation impacted her just as much as it impacted him. And she’s angry. Because she’s been waiting, she’s been fighting every single day for her husband, she’s watched herself become a person that her twenty years ago wouldn’t even recognize for this man and he sits at her feet discrediting all of the work she’s done to be here when he got home. She’s raised their son on her own, she’s fought off suitors, she’s ruled a kingdom, and so much more for this man at her feet and he won’t even look at her. 

She’s angry and she needs to make him see her. And my girl Penelope, is such an icon, that she does three things at once in an attempt to make him see her. She makes him feel how she’s feeling, she reminds him of what they both worship, and she utilizes her change to do this so that he understands what he’s dealing with now. The olive tree task does all of those. Let’s start with the last one. I know that people like to think of this trial as something Penelope always would’ve done, she would’ve always been a little tricky and manipulative but I think this is something she picked up in her twenty years. I think she was always intelligent but I don’t think she would’ve hidden her intentions before. I think this makes sense in a few different ways. Firstly, Odysseus interprets it literally when she asks him to move the bed. Remember this is the Odysseus who has a frozen image of Penelope from the years before and he thinks that what she’s insinuating here is that she wants him to move the bed and destroy a symbol of their love, he takes it literally. So I think that before, Penelope would’ve been intelligent but not manipulative and I think that shows in Odysseus reaction. Where when he realizes what she’s done, he’s surprised, too stunned to speak(he’s also into it but that’s unimportant for now). I also think that Penelope would’ve had to become more manipulative given her situation. The suitors, her kingdom, all of them that have different goals than her, she would have to seem like she’s appeasing them while not appeasing them. All this to say, I think the olive tree trial is a thing she wouldn’t have done before, I interpret it as a result of the twenty years and not something Odysseus would recognize. Which brings me to the other two things she did with the task. She made Odysseus see her and understand what she’s feeling and she reminded him of what they both worship. It’s no mystery that Odysseus was angry at this attack to the foundation of their relationship, which is exactly what Penelope was feeling. Odysseus came into their room and treated her as stagnant, refused to see her, and this was an attack at the very foundation of their relationship, which is everlasting love. He insinuates that she won’t love him despite everything in his question and that is just like Penelope telling him to move the bed. And he responds with the same anger that she feels. And when he realizes this, she’s accomplished the goal of reframing his vision of her. He sees that she’s changed, he sees that she was angry, he sees that they both did everything for that love, he sees her. And, importantly, it’s only after he sees her that she answers his question. Once he understands what he’s come back, then she will answer the question. Because she’s glad he asked, and it’s definitely the right way to go, making sure you both still want this, but it’s a useless question if he doesn’t know who he’s asking it to. So after she makes him understand, then she answers. “I will fall in love with you over and over again, I don’t care how where or when, not matter how long it’s been you’re mine”. And that is my girl, that is a person who’s been changed by her experiences, but still is very much in love with her husband, that is a three dimensional person with emotions and nuance. 

And for the record, this is not to say that Odysseus was ever in the wrong here. Not at all, what Odysseus did makes complete sense. He was caught up in his journessey. He was looking at the situation through the eyes of I have become this monster and my wife has been waiting. He, very validly, was still lost at sea. And Penelope brought him home. And just one more little detail that I love is the usage of “new” and “old” king. Before he goes to see Penelope, everyone is referring to him as “old king”. When Penelope puts forth the challenge she says “will be the new king”. Which just makes me think that Odysseus went from being the old king to the new king in the course of wyfilwma. But he’s always Penelope’s husband because Penelope refers to the bow as “my husband’s old bow”. Which just gets to the idea that he’s changed but he’s always her husband. 

Anyway this is just the way I love this musical. Gonna over analyze it immensely

[radioapplerevue]

Radioapple Fic Recs #2

I'm finally getting around to updating my fic recs, and I decided that it would get a bit too unwieldy to just keep adding on to the original post. So, from now on I'll be putting them into different parts and then linking them in an archive post, which I will pin on my blog. For now, my first post of recs can be found here.

There are also a bunch of unfinished fics that I have been keeping an eye on that I haven't read yet because they are fairly early on and their tags say something along the lines of "it gets worse before it gets better" haha. There are enough fics grinding my heart into dust at the moment, but just know that I am seeing those chapter counts go up. I'm Watching You.

Now, onto the recs!

Home Stretch by @tarmairons (mature)

Welcome to the most convoluted game of 20 questions I've ever seen. I love the slow, purposeful approach to showing how Lucifer and Alastor's relationship is shifting and merging to not only accommodate each other, but also tie them closer together. This is an entire fic of them attempting to communicate and really, honestly trying even if neither of them are sure of what the hell they're doing. And, of course, I love when fics really take the time to explore how Alastor's asexuality (and lack of experience with intimacy in general) would affect his approach and behavior when it comes to sex with Lucifer -- and also how Lucifer learns to handle Alastor in a way that meets his needs, even if the things Alastor needs are not what Lucifer's used to.

2. To Be The Perfect Angel, Some Sin Must Be Done by @hismercytomyjustice (ratings vary by part)

This is a series I've really super been enjoying, largely because it's just fun. Don't get me wrong, the explicit parts are hot too, but it's fucking funny and there's just such an enjoyable push and pull dynamic between Alastor and Lucifer here, where each give as good as they get and actually end up... maybe.... enjoying it? Whoops? And oh shit here comes feelings, where did those come from. And as always, I enjoy seeing how Alastor's asexuality is handled here, with his discomfort with making decisions or taking the lead in bed causing them to develop a dynamic where Lucifer makes all the calls, and Alastor makes the terrifying choice to trust him with his own body, pleasure, and safety. Plus, excellent use of the shadow here. Having the shadow play a significant role in a fic is always one of my favorite things, and I am also very here for shadow fucking at all times.

3. somewhere down the line by kj_crwn (explicit)

This is one of the "Alastor and Lucifer meet in the living world first" fics. I love Lucifer basically just coming up to the living world to be the biggest nuisance to Alastor he could possibly be, but whoops, I guess Alastor's into that. There's a lot of murder, a lot of two assholes trying to drive each other nuts (and succeeding), a lot of sexual tension, and a lot of said assholes being really, really bad at feelings. I particularly enjoy what happens from the time of Alastor's death up to the conclusion of the fic, and the way they have to come to grips with what their relationship is now, what it could be, and what they want it to be.

4. T is for Tax Evasion by @radiaurapple (teen and up)

This is a brand new fic, but my goodness I loved it immediately. I loved the take on Heaven's fucked up bureaucracy, I loved Lucifer's panic, guilt and weariness, and I love how God is a fucking dick. It's such an interesting concept that is explored through Lucifer's slowly crumbling psyche as the knowledge he's going to lose Alastor becomes more and more certain. Or is it? There are few things I love more than pre-emptive grief and utter desperation, and the emotional payoff is just so good. I would have loved to have seen more of the fallout, but regardless, this is one that I'll definitely be thinking about for a while.

5. I Will Dance Divine by @rahabs (mature)

This fic caught my attention immediately. A large part of is exploring Alastor and Lucifer's relationship through dance, and the first chapter is immediately gripping. There's such an immediate magnetism to them, as well as the clash between the performance they are putting on and the quiet battle they are having with each other. It made me so look forward to seeing where it goes. So far it seems to be a slow, but very thorough burn, with the fic taking its time to really let them come together naturally, and learn about each other in tantalizing pieces. I dearly hope it is continued as I want to see more, but what there is already is also a wonderful read.

6. Muzzle for My Lover by sabbathgoat (explicit)

This is a smutty one-shot, but it has one of my favorite depictions of a sexual dynamic between Alastor and Lucifer in anything. There's such a deep undercurrent of trust here, a trust that has been hard-earned over years. Lucifer's handling of Alastor, knowledge of his fluctuating boundaries and internal battles when it comes to his own body and desires, combined with his intense love and tenderness towards him just bleeds through the entire fic. I would happily read a several chapter story with them just lying there cuddling and doing nothing else if it was written with this same weight. It's one of those cases where you don't need to be told how in love they are, because it's impossible to not feel it.

7. Stolen Moments by @mothballmilkshake (ratings vary by part)

This series is quite the rollercoaster! Alastor and Lucifer's relationship in it hits some great highs and also some serious lows, because they are both so so bad at this oh my god. I like that it's from Alastor's POV, because I feel like we don't get that very often, particularly in the longer fics. And I also like that it just shows us what an absolute fucking disaster he is, haha. The continuing plot line regarding Alastor's deal is interesting and groundwork is being laid for some serious shit to go down later on. We'll have to see if Lucifer and Alastor's foundation has been built strong enough by then to not crumble under the pressure. But hey, after all they've gone through, I believe in them (.....mostly).

8. Hope Against Hope by OrlesianHat (explicit)

I don't tend to be into non-canon AUs, but I found I enjoyed this one quite a lot. Lucifer is being sent on a blind date, and the person he meets isn't exactly what he expected... or is he? There's no murder involved so automatically the fic is much gentler than canon would be, particularly with Alastor, but a while after reading it I had to go digging to find it again because something about it stuck with me. I love Alastor's unrepentant selfishness, and Lucifer's long-suffering mood of 'these are things I really should not be okay with but apparently I'm okay with them because I'm still here'. If you're looking for something a little softer after all the angsty cliffhangers we get in other fics (the angsty cliffhanger in this one has been resolved, thank you), then this might be for you.

[howlett-n-morgan]

Take Me Home

5. Blood Stains

Arthur Morgan x Texas Red!Reader

A/n: HEY GUYS I AM BACK WITH A DOOSIE. okay so my fashion show was fantastic, let me know if y'all wanna see a video of my collection i think it turned out pretty damn good. anyways, wrote this while crocked off my ass on Benadryl bc allergy season is hitting very very hard right now so if it's not perfect we are all going to collectively blame the Benadryl, okay? okay.

Summary: An accident in the laundry causes chaos in the camp, and secrets are revealed sooner than expected. With everyone else acting like the world is caving in, Arthur steps up as usual.

Warnings: misogyny, major gender role tropes, a little bit of personal violation, but very minor. Susan is a bitch in this chapter (we love Susan). Blood plays a lot into this chapter, and so do menstrual cycles, so if you're uncomfortable with those mentions, this may be a skippable chapter for you. There's also like some sexual implications but nothing inherently sexual happens. I think that's it, let me know if I missed anything.

WC: 7.8k

“Climb up, let’s go to town before closing time,” he walked around to the other side where his horse was hitched from earlier today, still saddled since Bill hadn’t made his rounds yet.  You complied, but were unsure of the motives for such a trip.  “Is Dutch paying you to take me somewhere? He want you to kill me quietly?” 

In the weeks since John’s disappearance, you’ve noticed three things:

One, Dutch hasn’t barely been seen in the camp, and when he makes his presence known, it’s either angry or forlorn. Two, the entire gang has been very quiet, not wanting to set off Dutch, or make anyone else upset with the matter. Three, Arthur has done as he said he would, becoming closer with Abigail, and helping nightly with Jack. 

It shouldn’t break your heart, because you had no right for it to. You shouldn’t be distancing yourself from the both of them, they didn’t do anything to deserve it, but the way your chest tightened by watching them, watching Arthur gently place a hand on her shoulder as he watched Jack squirm in her arms was far too miserable. Abigail won’t speak of it, knowing that everyone has been on edge since her former lover left, but she missed the talks and conversations you held. You understood her, and though she didn’t exactly know the truth as to why, she was still partially in grief over that bond, too. 

Arthur takes immediate notice, but doesn’t say anything. Hosea had mentioned your run in with John the evening he took off. He figured you needed time to cope with the situation, even if you didn’t know John all that well, or even like him for that matter. Everyone in camp was dealing with it differently, so why should he judge the way you handled yourself?

It was only when you stopped talking to him altogether that he became slightly concerned, and he wasn’t the only one. 

When Dutch first brought you into the gang, he knew there was some subtle competition with you and Arthur. The two fastest guns in the west, hell, maybe even the world… but you butted heads often. He didn’t know why it had suddenly stopped, but his concern grew from being in both your presences at the same time, and the icy feeling he got just from standing between you, running over job details in a tent. 

It was like Arthur didn’t exist to you anymore. Everything you said and did was conveyed to the people around him, but never to him. You would even give news to a big group of people to avoid telling Arthur directly. 

Dutch knew there was something wrong, because he could have sworn you both were inches away from getting along, but now it was worse than square one. It was after a successful job that he said something about it. After you had deliberately handed Arthur’s cut to Javier and told him to give it to the next man over. 

You’d ridden back, safe and sound, but Dutch held you back, nodding the others away from the horse troughs.  

“Talk with me for a bit, will ya son?” He tried to approach the situation gently. This couldn’t have been a gradual thing. 

“F’course,” you muttered, hands resting on your gun belt as you followed him into the center of camp. 

“I’ve been noticing some… strange behavior from you towards Arthur. Only lately…” he scratched his head, looking at you expectantly. “You can tell me if he did somethin’ to piss you off, I’ll speak with him about it.”

You furrowed your brow and shook your head. “He didn’t do nothin’ to piss me off… I’ve just always been better off on my own, don’t wanna rely on anyone.”

“I can understand that sentiment, but it doesn’t make any damn sense as to why you’re givin’ him the cold shoulder,” he furthered his point, and you didn’t have any choice but to make something else up. Something that could actually be worth what you were doing to Arthur. Your head told you that the truth of ‘I’m actually a young woman and I’m catching feelings for your gang enforcer’ wouldn’t help you. 

“He’s been tryna hold me back,” you sighed out, as if revealing some huge secret. It was partially true, but you’d grown more relaxed about the protection Arthur had been trying to provide. Still, you kept on the charade, knowing it would get you out of this situation free and clear. “M’tired of him thinkin’ I can’t keep up, tired of feelin’ like a helpless kid next to ‘im.”

Dutch let out a breath and narrowed his eyes. “I see… and so you figured it best to keep him out of arm’s reach, is that it?”

“Guess so,” you shrugged, leaning against the pole of his big tent. 

And then it seemed that Dutch saw this as a teaching moment, because he nodded for you to sit down on one of the cross latch boxes, across from where he stood. He had a whole spiel oncoming, and you were almost sure you knew what it would contain. Something about the camp being a family, everyone sticking together and more nonsense of the like.

“You don’t understand this now, because you’ve never had a time of need in this gang… but that day will come,” he paused, and you perhaps had it all wrong, listening intently now. He pointed in the direction of Arthur’s camp set up, and you glanced over, not for the first time that day. He was tired, hunched over his cot and leaning in exhaustion, running his hand over his face. “And when you are in that time of need, there is no better man to have in your corner than Arthur Morgan.”

You nodded in understanding, a small frown on your face. You wanted to protect yourself, but if what Dutch says is true, you’re only setting yourself up for failure. 

“He’s been here a long time, and no matter your opinion of him, no matter the things you do or the things you say, he’s loyal. It ain’t up to me what you decide to do, but you should know, he’s the best ally you’re ever gonna have.”

And just like that, you regretted the past weeks. Everything you did to avoid him, getting up early to grab some of the coffee before he came by. Going out and hunting without letting anyone know, just so that he didn’t have a chance to come with you. Even going as far as to mend your own clothing and do your own laundry, knowing he might catch you at one of the girl’s stations while picking up your weekly wears. You felt awful. You remembered at least four times he tried to approach you before he just gave up. At the time you were grateful, because you thought it was making things easier for you, but in actuality, the things Dutch said were true. You needed him in your corner. There would be a time of need, and Arthur was the best ally to have when that time would come, whatever it may be. 

“I think I oughta go set things right, then,” you let out, your ego deflating slightly when your eyes met Dutch again. 

“If you think it’s best,” he nodded, switching places with you and watching you walk over to his favored outlaw, the man he called his son. He called you son, too. You wondered if that would hold up if he ever found out about you. 

Arthur was on the verge of sleep, but you were doing this now. You could apologize later. 

“You look like shit,” you tried to be nonchalant, and not bring any emotion into this. 

When he looked up, he was slightly annoyed, but his face softened once he looked at you for a moment. 

“Feel like shit,” he grumbled, trying to understand what you were doing here. You didn’t exactly give him reason to believe he was important to you anymore. “Did you need something?” 

You kicked the dirt beneath your boot, trying to keep yourself composed, but you weren’t too good at these things, and the amount of shear stiffness in your body wasn’t helping you to relax about it. 

“I think I owe you an apology,” you started, and he tilted his head in slight confusion. Sure, he knew what you were apologizing for, but he didn’t know why. “I’ve been avoidin’ you, n’ I shouldn’t have.”

He nodded in thanks, accepting your words. You stood awkwardly, unsure if you should say more or just leave, but when you turned your boot to walk, he stopped you. 

“Did I piss you off or somethin’?”

Why was everyone asking that? 

“No, ain’t nothing you did. Just my own stupid ass and things that don’t matter,” you told him. You felt even worse now, because you’d made both him and Dutch think that it was something he did wrong. He could rarely do any wrong in your eyes, which made this whole ordeal that much worse. 

“Matters enough, you stopped talking to me. Couldn’t even get you to look my way.”

You didn’t want him to know anything else. With him and Abigail rapidly forming a blossoming relationship, it wasn’t for you to stand in their way. Jack needed a father figure, and Arthur was the perfect candidate. 

“I’m sorry about it. I swear it won’t happen again,” you really wanted to leave this time, unsure of how far it may go in the event of a deep conversation… but he caught your wrist and gently tugged it back towards where he sat as soon as you started turning away again. 

“You gotta give me somethin’, Red. I’ve waited weeks just to ask you,” he pleaded, his tired eyes looking through you and trying to enter your mind. You caved just as soon as you saw how badly this affected him. You hurt him. He might be big, burly, and dangerous… but he bleeds, and his heart can be wounded as easily as anyone else’s. 

“I’ve been going through some things, and you’ve had a lot on your plate with Jack and Abigail. It’s not fair of me to make my burdens your burdens… I was tryna keep you out of it,” you admitted, which was only half true. The partial truths of the night were stacking up, but fortunately he couldn’t tell the difference right now, too tired and unfocused to really study your features and what you were hiding. 

“Red,” he sighed, not yet prying for more information, but giving you one last glance. “You can tell me things. Remember that.”

You nodded, smiling at him for the first time since John left. “Alright.” 

-

You stopped avoiding and ignoring Arthur, but things were still distant. You’d been getting close right after Jack was born, but going into his third month in the world, you two were miles apart. Still, it was better than the stone cold facade you’d been turning to him before. 

“Got any laundry?” Susan asked, breaking you out of your trance as you watched the sun setting. You weren’t really paying much attention, but nodded, reaching behind you into your tent for a sheet full of worn out and dirty clothing. You should have looked it over, but you didn’t, too caught up in your own mind. “You can ask the girls about getting it back tomorrow, they’ve been going stir crazy for things to do.”

“Yes ma’am,” you nodded, tipping your hat and leaning back against your small tent’s middle pole. You had half a mind to slide your hat over your eyes for a nap, but that didn’t seem like it would fly, especially if one of the others needed you for something. 

You could definitely use a nap, you were cramping like crazy. You swore if Bill came up to you and asked for any more favors with the damn horses this week you’d kill him, but only because you were feeling grumpy. 

You wanted so badly to confide in Arthur about these things, the troubles of womanhood that you couldn’t share with anyone else but him. You wondered if he would ever tell anyone, since it’s been almost five months of your residence and you have yet to reveal your secrets to everyone else. Maybe you were being paranoid, but the closer he got to Abigail and the further you pushed him away, you thought he might care less about the agreement you both made. After all, spilling your secret to Dutch would gain him loyalty points, and Dutch seemed all too happy to be giving them out since John left. 

It was about an hour later when there was a shriek at the other side of camp, and many ran over to see what the trouble was. 

Tilly had been sitting by her wash bin, but had pulled her hands out on account of one thing. 

“What’s the matter, Tilly?” you heard Sean over your shoulder, and when you finally saw the trouble your eyes widened and you muttered a single word under your breath. 

“Shit.” 

“What’s shit?” Arthur’s voice was also heard beside you now, and you turned to him ever so slightly with a whisper.

“Me, I’m in deep shit.”

Tilly showed everyone the water, with some clothing swirling around, but it was all tinted red. 

“I think someone’s been hurt,” she said, waving over Mrs. Grimshaw to show her the problem. “There’s blood in the water.”

You tried to casually back up slowly, hoping that it wouldn’t get traced back to you, after all, the clothing in the bin was yours, and Mrs. Grimshaw had just picked up the pile from you. You were just stupid enough to leave your monthly attire in with it, and during your monthly time, too. You were only two days into the cycle, meaning there had been a lot of blood.

Grimshaw, being the stern and impatient woman she was, rolled her sleeves up and dug around in the water, looking for clothing with holes to indicate a stab or bullet wound… but she only found:

“A sanitary apron?” She furrowed her brows. She was pretty in tune with the women of the camp, and hadn’t been aware that someone was menstruating right now. 

“You better run, kid,” Arthur caught on, nudging your shoulder. You’d already started getting further away from the scene, but it seemed Grimshaw already came to a conclusion before you could make a break for it. 

“I picked these up from…” she trailed, her brow now seemingly angry and strewn together in a stressful manner. She marched over to you, grabbing your lanky wrist harshly and tugging you away from the scene. “You better not be hidin’ what I think you’re hidin’!”

You held onto your hat as she practically ran you into the nearest tent. It wasn’t hers or yours but that didn’t matter, her urgency was all too apparent. 

“Miss Grimshaw, what’s this all about?” 

“I have had my suspicions about you since you arrived here,” she spoke intensely, pulling you forward by your belt buckle and doing her best to undo it. 

“Hey, hey! What’re ya doin’?!” You tried to protest, but her nimble hands were too persistent, and she finally got your pants loose enough to take a brief peek at what she needed to see. “What the hell, would you stop?!” 

“I knew it!” she yelled, a finger pointed in the air. 

And just like that, you knew you were screwed. 

She quickly ran out of the tent, and you tried to follow her, making a quick attempt at putting your belt back together on the way out. 

Arthur ran a hand over his face when first he saw you, and the state you were in. He knew the jig was up, too. 

“Where is that man when you need him?” Susan was turning every which way, a mess of herself just trying to frantically look for the camp leader. 

“Dutch? He’s in town with Hosea, what’s the problem?” Bill sauntered up, dusting his hands from the work he’d paused. 

Pearson and Javier all of a sudden made an appearance, and when you thought nothing could make this worse, the rest of the camp zoned in on the chaos, having had nothing better to do this whole day. It was slow, and there were no jobs to be done, so the boredom consumed minds jumped on the first sign of entertainment they could find, and boy was it something.

“We have an imposter in our midst!” She yelled, her arms waving around wildly. 

“Hold on, now…” You tried to interject, but Arthur shot you a look, shaking his head. Don’t do it, kid. Just shut up.

“What do you mean an imposter?” Pearson crossed his arms. He was never one to give bad news of any kind to, because he had a tendency to blow it out of proportion. “Who?” 

“That,” she pointed at you, her voice raised to the highest decibel count you knew was humanly possible. “Is not an eighteen year old boy! She has been fooling us all. Who even knows where she comes from, what her real name is!”

“What the hell are you even talking about?” 

“The kid?” 

“Ain’t no way…”

The rapid responses coming forward almost eased your mind, except for the fact that Susan did in fact have up close and personal proof from what she saw. 

Arthur stepped forward, and as the murmurs grew louder, and Miss Grimshaw was prepared to go on another rant, he did all he could to calm the situation. 

“Let’s not make any rash judgements right now,” he gave you a look, trying to let you see he was attempting to help, but that you needed to leave. “We’ll just wait until Dutch and Hosea get back.”

You took that as a cue to leave, awkwardly making way for your tent. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Susan tried to chase after you, but Arthur held her back. 

“Wait for Dutch,” he said, his arm blocking her path. Who knows what she’d do in this state? She’d been known to whip some of the boys into compliance before, who knows what she’d do to someone she viewed as an imposter. 

Sitting with the flaps closed, you could still hear everything that was occurring outside, and it nerved you far more than being in the middle of it all. 

“It doesn’t make any sense…” and “Do you think it’s true?” could be heard from separate conversations, and you wished more than anything that you’d just done your own damn laundry. 

Your face fell in your hands, and you started going over all the things that could happen. Dutch could hate you for lying to him, and kick you out, banishing you as far as you could go. Or, since you were a newbie, and didn’t have the trust factor built yet, maybe they would just shoot you dead. That may have been an extreme idea, but with your rapidly beating heart and increasing worry, things like that were bound to spill in. Not like you’d been in a gang before, you didn’t exactly get an etiquette and rule book when you arrived. Who knew what would happen to you. Nothing good, that you knew.

When Arthur finally opened the flap and leaned down inside the small dwelling, you knew it was time to face the music. 

“Dutch is back, Susan’s tellin’ him everything,” he sighed, looking over your face and feeling a sense of guilt that he didn’t do anything to stop all of this. When you first arrived he thought maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal, but having experienced this much drama in just the past hour has most definitely led him to believe he was wrong. 

When you stayed silent, and didn’t really give him a reaction of any kind, he could tell you were hit hard with the anxiety and shock of it all. He couldn’t ever get you to shut up, and he often didn’t want to, most of all now when you looked like a scared animal. 

“I ain’t gonna let ‘em hurt ya, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

You shook your head, and against your hardest efforts, tears were backing your eyes, looking for ways to escape. He hadn’t ever seen you like this, and it wasn’t pleasant. 

“I don’t wanna leave,” you admitted. You liked it here. You weren’t lonely here, and you had a family… or at least you did an hour ago. You didn’t know where you stood with half of these people. 

He couldn’t speak for Dutch or Hosea, or anyone else really, but he could speak for himself. 

“I don’t want you to, either…”

When Arthur heard his name called, he leaned back, looking in the direction of his father figure, looking angrier than a pack of hungry wolves. 

“Yeah?” 

“Tell Brooks to see me, now.”

You didn’t even need the message relayed. You stood up, and followed Arthur out of the tent, your head down as you made the distance to the center tent, the big one you’d been at only a bit ago with council from your leader. You only hoped he’d be so forgiving when he found out you lied to him. 

Arthur got into the tent first, mumbling a few things you were a little distracted to hear. You did catch the small ‘don’t be too hard on her’ fall from his mouth, though. 

You sat down on the box chest, close to the exit of the tent, just in case things went south and you had to run. Not that you were thinking about running, but again, a million scenarios crossed your mind. 

“Arthur, wait outside.”

You grew more tense as soon as those words were uttered, and so did Arthur it would seem. 

“Dutch, I think I should-”

“Wait. Outside.” 

He reluctantly did as he was told, walking far enough away that he wouldn’t be reprimanded, but still in your eye-line so he could keep an eye on you. He trusted Dutch with the gang members, but if he was considering kicking you out, that made you fair game. 

“I’m gonna cut to the chase,” he took a long drag of the cigar he held between his fingers, blowing the smoke out when he turned his head to the side. “You know why you’re here.”

“I reckon I do,” you answered quietly, trying to keep an ounce of confidence though your entire body felt like it would start shaking in fear. 

“I could have you stripped for the whole camp to see, but for propriety’s sake I’m only going to ask you this once… is it true?” He asked, his tone less stern but still eager. 

“Yes.”

He sighed, having heard the softness in your voice since you came in, he already knew. You’d never shown this side of yourself to the camp before. You were always confident, sure of yourself, cocky even. To think it was an act boiled his skin… but he wanted to take his time with this. You still had capabilities the likes he’s never seen, and if he wasn’t careful they could one day be used against him. You didn’t know about the O’Driscolls yet, and he sure as hell wouldn’t have you running off and joining them. It would be the death of the Van Der Linde gang, of that he was certain. 

“I’m gonna decide what to do with you, but until then, you stay out of my sight.”

He pointed outside of the tent, and you were honestly surprised that this was the extent of his questioning. Nothing about the lies? About the history? About anything at all?

You gave him a double glance, but scurried away in fears he might change his mind and tear you to shreds on the spot. You walked hastily towards Arthur, your face gaining more color to it once you were out of the line of danger. 

“You alright?” He asked, his furrowed brows reflecting his concern. 

“No,” you let out with a dramatic scoff. Your flare for over exaggeration was sometimes quite amusing to him. He just dropped his head and chuckled. 

“You’re fine,” he patted your shoulder before stepping past you and going to talk to Dutch. What he knows is that Susan Grimshaw spilled every nasty detail of this afternoon to the camp leader, but he also knows that he hasn’t had his say yet, and when it comes down to it, Dutch will side with his loyal enforcer over a disgruntled Miss Grimshaw. 

Dutch was stretching out his arms, sore from the ride in and out of town. It was a scouting trip, really, but it was enough to make him ache when all the stress was added. 

“First John leaving, now this. I can’t seem to catch a break, can I?” Dutch sighed out after his words, the toll they took on his mind caused him to shake his head of so many thoughts. 

“This ain’t so bad,” Arthur began, tilting his head from side to side. 

“How could you possibly think that?”

Arthur shrugged, reasoning with himself a few options before saying them out loud. 

“S’not like she did any harm. Only thing that’s come of it is a bit of surprise to everyone…” he trailed, sitting across from the man he called his father figure and his friend. The tension seemed to ease up the second he neared the man, but there was more to be done to diffuse the situation, and he was all too happy to insert himself as the cause of said diffusion. 

“She lied about who she is, for all we know she could be working with local law, or worse, the pinkertons.” 

Dutch’s raised concerns nearly made Arthur chuckle. When you first got here, facade or not, you were still just lost and looking for somewhere to call home. There were never any motives behind your gang participation other than needing a family.

“We haven’t had them on our trail in ages. Coming here, we finally put a stop to their sniffin’ around. Besides, she’s been the reason for our successful jobs lately… she’s been loyal enough to save my life despite our differences.”

“But she lied to us,” Dutch kept driving his point. A liar’s a liar, and they lie about other things. 

“She’s a scared kid, Dutch. She just wants a place to be,” Arthur defended, his arguments becoming more close and personal, which led Dutch to connect some other dots. 

He sighed, looking at Arthur and coming to an understanding of what he knew were past events. 

“You knew, didn’t you?” 

Arthur dropped his head into a subtle nod, not yet meeting Dutch’s eyes for his fear of a bad reaction. 

“Since the week she got here.”

Dutch had to laugh, because of course he did. Arthur was more in tune with the members of camp than he could ever be, and more than they could be with each other. He was like Hosea that way, his ability to connect and grow relationships with others was just a natural gift. He often thought it stemmed from Arthur’s great love of the unknown, and his endless curiosity. 

“How’d you figure it out?” 

“I didn’t, until I found some uh… rather feminine items in her saddle bag. She fessed up pretty quickly to me,” Arthur scratched the back of his neck, his nerves settling when he knew he wouldn’t be in any trouble. 

“Well,” Dutch started, coming to the edge of his open tent, looking for the troubled recruit among the busy movement of the camp. “We’ve taken in much worse, and it’s always been in our favor. And you’re right… She's just a scared kid. A scared kid with the quickest hands I’ve ever seen.”

There was a moment, and then Arthur smiled.

“So… She’s free n’ clear?” He asked, his tone hopeful, which Dutch noticed. Perhaps Red had made amends after all, and just as Dutch promised, Arthur was in her corner. This wasn’t her time of need, per se, but he knew she would have him when it arrived.

“I suppose so, although… I’m not going to be responsible for the court of public opinion,” he gestured to everyone in the camp, frantically working around just to keep themselves busy. With all the chaos going on, it’s the only thing they can do not to sit and gossip, which they do anyway. 

“I reckon I better keep her away from Susan?” 

“With a ten foot pole, preferably,” Dutch rolled his eyes. That woman was full of determination, and it could be both a great strength, as well as her worst weakness. 

Arthur smiled, ready to go make good on a promise he’d been waiting on for some time. “I’ll catch you later then.”

“Alright, Arthur.”

-

You didn’t know if Arthur’s conversation with Dutch would benefit you or condemn you, but you didn’t stick around to find out. He’d found you saddling your horse, just in case a hasty escape needed to be made. Yes, perhaps your delusions were getting a bit out of hand. 

“Where you goin’?”

“Depends,” you started, “How mad is he?”

Arthur huffed and grabbed your wrist, stilling your movements. “He ain’t mad.”

“No?” You could hardly believe it. “He seemed riled up to me.”

“I talked to him,” he explained, but gave no further intel. 

“You got magic words or somethin’?” You chuckled, slightly more relaxed since the news came better than you hoped, and Arthur wasn’t dragging you back to be punished or anything. “What’d you tell him?” 

“That you were gonna be loyal… and that you’d been scared.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, trying to play off his last words like they weren’t true. “I ain’t scared.”

“Really? You were about to run, weren’t you?” He pointed to your full saddle bag and stocked up horse, ready to disappear at a moment’s notice. 

You caved. 

“He gave me a little fright is all,” you toed your boot into the dirt as you spoke, looking back up to find him nodding at your horse. 

“Climb up, let’s go to town before closing time,” he walked around to the other side where his horse was hitched from earlier today, still saddled since Bill hadn’t made his rounds yet. 

You complied, but were unsure of the motives for such a trip. 

“Is Dutch paying you to take me somewhere? He want you to kill me quietly?” 

It was just a joke, but he was getting tired of the overly dramatic interactions. He wasn’t sure what all transpired in your past, albeit knowing more than everyone else… even still, he figured there had to be something that gave you your theatrical touch. 

“Knock it off, would ya?”

“Sorry.”

The ride wasn’t long, but the sun was down when you both tied your horses to the poll in front of the general store. You’d been in here a few times, and the man behind the counter always cowered in fear of Texas Red the unkillable. No matter your manners or gentility, that’s just how it was. 

“What’re we doin’ here?” You adjusted your hat, wiping some sweat off your forehead and following him up the front steps. 

“I remember sayin’ I’d get you a dress a while back, we’re here to make good on it.”

You stopped in your tracks, a wide smile blossoming on your face when you heard him say it. He’d remembered, and been waiting for it since the night he uttered the words. 

He noticed you weren’t close behind him, and turned, catching the sweet expression you wore, but brushing it off with a sideways smile. 

“C’mon now, gotta pick it out.” 

You followed after him, and once inside, the man behind the counter seemed to be nervous, as usual. He didn’t seem to be weary of having you both in, just a bit anxious. Arthur knew his presence held power, but he figured with your reputation in this town, and others around… your presence was bound to hold more. 

“What can I do for you? Need more socks?” The man asked you kindly, and you shook your head, a small laugh escaping you. 

“No, we’re uh… we’re here to get a dress for my wife,” Arthur spoke evenly, his confidence showing through when he had to put on a show. 

Your head snapped to him, and though you knew he was intending to buy the dress for you, a thought sprang into your mind. Abigail. She was going to be his wife. 

This sweet little moment, with Arthur keeping his promise, and making a big to-do over your acceptance into camp, was all part of your own little fantasy. It wouldn’t last, and when you returned to camp, he’d be with her again, helping with Jack. You tried to shake the thought from your mind, wanting to enjoy this sliver of time with him. 

“Of course! I’ve got a new selection,” he pulled out the catalog, and opened the pages to a section with different types of skirts, petticoats, chemises, and corsets. All were beautiful, but your eye was drawn to a more simple style. It was a work dress, which would be far more practical for you than any of the other ones. 

“I’m not too good with all this. What do you think, Red? Which one would she like best?” He tossed you a smirk, leaning his elbow on the counter while he let you browse over the pages a bit longer, turning them over with a furrowed brow of focus. 

“What color does this one come in?” You asked the man over the counter, keeping your act up, but letting your hints of excitement show through. 

“That one is a nice pale blue, perfect for spring and summer time,” he spoke firmly, becoming more relaxed the longer you both were in the store. Yes, he’d heard the whispers, and for you, he’d actually seen your acts of a quick trigger. But here, you didn’t seem like a threat, so he stopped acting like you were.

“Blue, huh… Might bring out her eyes a bit, hey Arthur?” Now it was your turn to smirk, and he chuckled, nodding back to you and tapping the page twice with a heavy finger. 

“You’re right it would, make em’ look like crystal,” he played along, making you blush under the brim of your hat, unbeknownst to the man behind the counter. 

“It’s gotta be that one, then.”

Arthur chuckled, counting out the cash that the dress price was listed under, tossing it down on the counter and nodding to the man. 

“You heard the kid, we’ll take that one,” he spoke in a playful tone, ignoring the movements of the man as he scurried to the back rooms, getting your dress pieces together. 

Arthur lifted the brim of your hat, and smiled genuinely at the look on your face. It was excited, sweet, and grateful. He wanted to buy you the entire stock of the store just to ensure that look stayed on your face, no matter the irrationality of it. He’d become quite accustomed to giving you his time and his efforts, and this was no different. The only difference is that now he wanted to, wholeheartedly. The deal you’d struck with him, the one where you were going to teach him your methods of shooting faster, were now null and void. He didn’t want to take anything from you, he just wanted to give.

When the store worker returned with a large box in hand, Arthur thanked him for his time, carrying the thing over his shoulder and heading for the door, which you opened for him. 

Getting outside, you went for the horses, but he stopped you with a swat of your hand away from the reins. 

“Can’t go back yet, gotta see how this looks on ya,” he insisted, nodding for you to follow him yet again. He walked for a bit before coming up on the shed with a small lantern inside. It looked like it only housed tools and ropes and things of the like, but there was space enough to change in. “Came across this when I was out one day. Took a whole nap before someone realized I was in here.” 

“How convenient,” you teased, taking the box from his hands and eagerly walking into the confined space. 

“I’ll be out here,” he mumbled as you shut the door, putting a shovel against it since it didn’t really even close all the way. 

You knew he wasn’t the peeping type, so you began tearing away at your clothes, the ones that had been worn completely through by now and needed replacing anyway. You had more back at camp, but you had always missed dresses. This would be the first of many you would probably buy for yourself, but it was going to remain your favorite, because of who it came from. 

It was just like clock work, muscle memory helping you to remember all the little ties and snaps that needed to be in place, the corset laces that needed to be pulled enough to fit the outer fabrics. You knew you probably needed a good hair brushing and face washing to actually look like a young woman again, but for now, the dress was doing wonders on your self esteem… or at least it did until you realized you couldn’t finish putting it on by yourself. The buttons on the back went up higher than your shoulder blades, and sat in a near impossible spot to reach. If there was a mirror, you could probably just contort yourself enough to get it together, but in a dark, barely lit tool shed, your options were limited. 

You sighed, pulling the shovel away from the door and peaking your head outside. Arthur had nearly gone through an entire cigarette in the time you took to change. 

“Arthur?” You asked timidly. 

“M’here, you alright?” 

“I can’t reach the back,” you admitted, just slightly embarrassed. “Can you give me a hand?” 

He was all too happy to comply, stomping out the cigarette on the ground and taking quick steps to reach you. “Turn around.”

You did as he told you, turning so he had access to the open back of the dress. He couldn’t see you all too well in this light, but even from what he could see, a few words entered his mind from a past conversation you had with him. 

I used to be quite the stunner… and he surely believed it. 

His fingers caressed the exposed skin of your back before buttoning the fabric closed, smoothing it down over your shoulders and watching the way it fit you perfectly. 

“Don’t mention this to Abigail,” you joked, turning back around and trying to keep the mood light. It was beginning to feel too intimate, and you knew you couldn’t allow yourself to feel that way with Arthur anymore. 

“Why?” 

“Well, I might be a bit old fashioned, but isn’t it frowned upon for a taken man to be helping another woman with her dress?” 

It was just another joke, but he seemed to be completely thrown off by the implications. 

“I ain’t a taken man,” he confessed, looking at you with a stare that was all too deep, and all too consuming. He needed to stop that, but you didn’t have the heart to make him. 

“Not yet,” you corrected, but again it was you in the wrong. 

“No,” he shook his head, trying to bring a serious tone to the conversation. “I’m not gonna marry Abigail.”

Your face screwed up in confusion, thinking about all the times when he collapsed in her tent with Jack, just to get up and help him in the night. He was Jack’s new father, wasn’t he? That was the deal he made. 

“Why not? I thought that you were- well since you were helping with Jack and… what about your deal?”

“I said I was gonna do right by this boy, and I am… But Abigail won’t have me,” he shrugged, admitting to the rejection she gave of his offer. “She’s still in love with John, n’ I can understand it.”

It should have made you feel a bit of sadness, to know that even with all that Arthur was, someone would turn him away like that. ‘Abigial won’t have me’ sounded like perhaps he thought himself not good enough, just as he always does. Despite all of this, you didn’t feel sorrow, you felt an abundance of joy. A wide smile spread across your cheeks, and he furrowed his brow. 

“What’re you smilin’ about?”

“Nothing,” you dropped the smile and shook it off, running a hand up his arm and giving it a sincere squeeze. “I’m sorry, Arthur. I know you’ve meant well.”

“S’alright. Hosea’s been tellin’ me since Jack was born that I shouldn’t have offered. He doesn’t think we’re right for one another, somethin’ like that.” 

“I agree, you’re not right for each other,” you spoke out loud, though that thought was meant only for your head. 

Arthur seemed to be catching on slightly to your behavior, stepping a bit closer and staring downwards at you. 

“Yeah? And who am I right for?” He teased, watching the redness of your cheeks spread down your neck and shoulders with every breath you took. 

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and find out,” you did your best to counter his taunts, stepping away from him and going to collect your old clothes from the shed. Once they were in hand you turned back to the opening of the alley, making way for the horses. “You coming?” 

And of course, he followed, shaking his head and chuckling under his breath. 

-

The next day fared better than you thought it would, if you’re being honest. 

You didn’t really know why, if Dutch had said anything, or if Hosea did, but after you returned to camp the previous night, everyone seemed to be acting just fine. They treated you differently for sure, but not badly. In fact, you noticed the men had a certain kind of reverence to you that they never held before. The same they did with the other women. 

Maybe it was just the beautiful dress that Arthur bought for you, the light and pure color of it giving you a sense of being ethereal, having finally exposed the raw feminine beauty that was hiding for so long. You reckon you’d even start growing out your hair again, as the short style coming to your chin was not how you preferred to have it in the first place.

You still went to work doing the same tasks you normally did, but were careful not to rip your dress or over-exert yourself, given you were still in the same physical condition as the day before. 

“Charl- I mean, Miss Brooks?” 

You heard a voice chirp softly from beside you, and you dropped the wagon supplies for now to walk over to the owner of said voice, Tilly.

“Yes, Miss Tilly?” You extended a smile, and she smiled back, albeit a tight and awkward one from where she was sitting. You took a step or two closer, and she had to shake her head after getting a better look at you. 

“I just-” she cut herself short on account of the words already jumbling in her head. “I don’t want there to be any awkwardness between us.”

You furrowed your brow to her, unsure of what she could have possibly meant. 

“Why would there be?” 

“Well, if you can recall,” she started, a nervous chuckle in her speech. “I tried to make some… advances towards you. Back when I thought you were uh… a young man.”

You smiled again and ducked your head, a scoff of laughter and a nod of your head brought about less tension. It was no big deal. 

“Don’t worry yourself, Miss Tilly. I was the one who tricked ya, I oughta be apologizing. Probably should to Abigail, too.”

“Abigail?”

You tilted your head, recalling the scene. About two weeks before Jack was born. You’d done the same thing Arthur did, with not a care of revealing yourself in the future. 

“Before John even left, I offered her to be Jack’s ‘father’ when he was born. I guess I was pretty certain at the time no one was gonna find out,” you explained, leaning against the wagon she sat by, mending a shirt that looked like Arthur’s. You could tell by the wear and tear around the shoulders, where his broadness likely just caused the fabric to break down faster. 

“Could you really have gone on like that?” 

“I don’t know,” you pondered, another small laugh escaping you. “Maybe not, since I had to tell everyone I was eighteen just for them to believe it.”

“You aren’t eighteen?” She seemed surprised. Maybe you just had a young face. 

“No, ma’am. Twenty two nearing twenty three as a matter of fact.”

“I’ll say,” she tutted, throwing down the shirt she was finished with, and picking up a new one. “You had us all convinced. Makes me wonder where you really came from.”

You thought about telling her, but the story was long and today was a busier day than before. There was actual work to be done in preparing for the next job, a few days ahead. 

“Some place I didn’t wanna be,” you chided, stepping away from the wagon, nodding to her in thanks for the small chat. “I’ll let you get back to it.”

“Alright. I’ll catch you around,” she spoke sweetly, a kind look of relaxation on her face, now that she knew where she stood. 

You went back to work, making sure that neither Dutch nor Hosea saw you with idle hands today. You wanted to make sure that no matter what happened now, you wouldn’t be cast aside. You still had the abilities they needed, but with a skirt on your hips, they saw you differently, and it was up to you to show them you were not going to be ignored when it came to jobs in the future. 

You hated that the rest of the women in camp were just seen as stationary helpers, only capable of mending clothes or cleaning up the camp, or even just laying the groundwork in town for the men to actually pull jobs. You’ve seen Abigail in action, she was smart and cunning and had a great way with words, she could be the difference in things staying civil or having a shoot out during a quiet robbery, but the men overlook her gifts. You know the women in this camp have great potential, and perhaps if they let you continue as you have been, they will open the opportunities for the others as well.

Tags: @photo1030 @sheepdogchick @snoopysshark @strvberrydoll @yyiikes @phantasyy @puffyhairedhipster @scorpio-echo @hollyskjlap

[nicksbestie]

hi!! if you’re still doing requests, can i have a chris sturniolo x autistic reader in which reader has a habit of misplacing or losing things, but on a particular she keeps consistently misplacing losing a lot of things that she loves or that she needs and it all results in her having a very bad meltdown in which chris helps calm her down and eventually comforts her in the process?

Meltdown - C. Sturniolo

Summary : You're so lucky to have such a caring boyfriend who knows exactly how to help you in moments of distress <3

Warnings : Meltdown, emotional overwhelm

Word Count : 805

Pairing : Chris Sturniolo/Reader (romantic)

A/N : i loved this req!! neurodivergent reqs are amazing, please keep sending them <3 reminder that ableism is not welcome here!

There were a lot of tendencies that you loved about being neurodivergent, and a lot of the time, you didn’t view yourself as any less than the average person, but there were always a couple traits that really frustrated you when it came to living as an autistic person.

You hated losing things. Not knowing where things were made you very anxious, but unfortunately, you couldn’t seem to stop doing it. No matter where you placed things, or how many times you reminded yourself that they were there, you always managed to end up losing them. 

It was like your brain just blocked out the part where you moved them to a different location, or when someone else told you that they’d put them somewhere else, and you couldn’t find them for hours after that. It often caused you incredible frustration, especially if you’d lost more than one thing at once, and sometimes fueled you to the point of tears. You hated how much this happened to you, but you had no idea how to go about fixing it in any way. Luckily, you were very supported by your boyfriend, who was always good at finding things. 

A lot of the time, he had been the one that moved the lost items, or the one that had seen you move them, and kept a mental note of where they were because he knew you would more likely than not, forget where they had been placed. He had quickly become an expert in keeping those situations from escalating into meltdowns, but sometimes you were just so upset about not being able to find important things that there was nothing he could do except help you find them and just comfort you the best that he could. 

Unfortunately, one of those times was today. You had gone out to run errands, and Chris had come with you, even though it was just a grocery store trip. He often came with you, picking out a bunch of random food for both him and his brothers, some for videos, some just for fun. Because of this, he often wandered into different aisles than the one that you were in, thus going out of your sight. However, you had always remembered what aisle he was in, and he had always texted it to you just in case you forgot. But this time was different. 

Chris had walked away to go to the bathroom, leaving you standing by yourself while picking out the things you needed from that aisle. You weren’t concerned, he had done this before, and always came right back, so you kept moving, grabbing things off of the shelves and putting them into your cart before turning into the next aisle over. Time continued to pass and you tried to brush off the anxiety that was beginning to roll in, but after fifteen minutes and no return of your boyfriend, you couldn’t help the freaking out that was going through your mind. You began taking longer breaths, trying to relax, and moving through the aisles around you to find Chris, but when you had gone through four of them and couldn’t see him anywhere, you couldn’t deny the tears filling your waterline. 

Chris was arguably the most important thing in your life, and the feeling that you had lost him was too much for you to handle at any point in life. He wasn’t responding to your text asking where he was, and this only fueled the anxiety even more. The tears in your eyes had started falling by this point, still moving between aisles and hoping to see his familiar figure. 

Chris had no idea that you were panicking. His phone had died while he was in the bathroom, and he had gotten distracted looking at some of the weird flavors of donuts and Oreos he’d seen on a small stand. It wasn’t until he heard soft crying near him that he realized what had happened, and immediately ripped himself away from the display, turning around to see you wandering between aisles, wasting no time in getting to you and pulling you into a hug. 

Feeling the way that your shoulders shook against his body broke his heart, realizing the effects of what he’d done, despite it being unintentional. He whispered comfort to you, not caring about the people that had slowed down their walking to stare at the couple having a moment in the middle of the bread aisle, only focused on you. Apologies flew through the air along with promises to never leave you, and he refused to let go of you. He led the rest of the grocery trip, getting everything you needed for you, pausing every so often to wipe tears off of your face or to kiss the top of your head.

~ taglist : @blahbel668 @mattsgirlfrieeend @69isabella69 @mayhem-72 @iculdstealurgf @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @sturnioloslife @heartsforkarina @nervousrebelglitter @sturniclo @elliegrace-7 @mattsturnioloisbae

~ if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here!

~ my inbox is open, come chat!!

[rhonuscorner]

Hello! I love your work!

I have a question about the spin-off with our darling Eclipse. How would our crashing go if Y/n were pregnant? Previously you stated that human way of reproducing is very different and even kinda disturbing to our boys. So how would they react to Y/n carrying a child and being due in like 3/4 months?

How long would it take them to notice? Would Y/n needed to wait for a translator to be made to communicate about that - I mean you, can show an alien easy signs- like food, come etc. But trying to do this with 'hey! See this? Im pregnant!' would be a hassle lol.

I can see Sun's confused gaze as reader points at their belly clearly frustrated, while he holds a plate of food. Because what ca this little creature want? They are hungry right?

Later on with Y/n's relationship with the boys becoming better and friendlier how would they handle the birth? And their reaction to a little human baby! I mean they are so small!

Also my private opinion is women are awesome - I mean what do you mean you can build a whole another person and then automatically create the food to sustain them with ?? Goddesses

Love you!

Awww thank you so much! ❤️

I'm gonna put this answer under a cut for those who are uncomfortable with this topic, so here's your trigger warning!

Also I wanna add... while I don't mind the topic myself it's not something I'm gonna be putting a whole lot of effort or thought into. I personally don't really care for pregnancy themes involving humans, so while I don't mind answering asks about it and am fully okay with anyone imagining a pregnant Y/N with any of my boys - that's totally fine! - my answers might be disappointing. I dunno. Just wanna make that clear. ☺️

Yeah no nebuterran is gonna recognize it as a pregnancy with a few exceptions. It's not an entirely unfamiliar concept to them even though nothing on their homeworld reproduces like mammals (humans included obv) do. But it's not something that's unique to earth either.

There used to be a time, before Sun, Moon and Eclipse were born, when nebuterrans interacted with other species from other planets a lot more than they do nowadays. They used to welcome visitors, traded goods and knowledge and helped out when asked. There's only a few elderly nebuterrans left who remember those days and they're the only ones who might recognize Y/N's pregnant state for what it is because they'll have seen similar things before.

Yes, waiting for a translator of sorts would be a necessity either way so Y/N can let them know what it is they need. Unfortunately no medical center on this planet is gonna be equipped to help Y/N out with this, there's no way of knowing if any of their medicine - painkillers included - is gonna be safe to use on a human, what with our biological differences.

All they can do is offer support by being present and making Y/N as comfortable as possible... but ultimately Y/N will have to do this on their own.

Sun, Moon and Eclipse have never seen this before and yes, it's gonna be very disturbing for them. Nebuterrans hatch from a crystal, there's gonna be some fluids but it's just that... watery fluid. Very tame, very simple, no hassle and little to no risk of something going wrong. With humans... there's gonna be crying, screaming, tears, blood and pain. It's brutal compared to what they're used to.

I honestly don't think Sun and Moon will be able to stay in the same room when it's time, they won't be able to handle it. I'm sure they'll try if only because they'll want to do anything they can do to help Y/N through this, but they might have to flee the room if they don't faint first lol. Eclipse will stay, only because he's already seen his fair share of horror and violence, he can handle this too. Feel free to squeeze his hand until his bones pop lol.

However, once it's all said and done, that human baby is going to be doted on by all three of them like there's no tomorrow. Most spoiled baby in the galaxy.