#anyways i need to sleep i have classes tomorrow
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sometimes they look at me.
#my random doodles#oh my god???#is this baby's first digital art???#man what a milestone#even though i did this instead of sleeping xdd#im not too fond of how it came out#but this was just a spur of the moment kind of thing so i didnt really have time to prepare qwqq#also i made this really late into the night#anyways i need to sleep i have classes tomorrow
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would you perhaps like to play a game of logical chess?
#yes i did stay up way too late doing this and yes i did learn about lighting while painting a meme anyway#my art#ace attorney#ace attorney investigations#miles edgeworth#aa#aai#i didn't spend the entire night doing just this there are other drawings ill post them later#but right now i need to SLEEP i have CLASS TOMORROW FUCK !!!!
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throws these at you
#marvel cinematic universe#xmen movies#xmen#xmen apocalypse#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#do i tag it cherik. of course i do#cherik#snap sketches#i have once again failed to draw erik's plan outfit from dofp cjWALcjkalkc#TOMORROW. or friday. i want to draw it at some point ..#idk how i ended up here. think i just wanted to draw bald charles. and the wheelchair...#thats why i gave up when it came to coloring and shading vklejalkj just a quick thing !!!!! ill make something epic soon. maybe. <-lying#anyway i have to decide if when i draw that outfit it will be another cherik thing or just a solo. might do the latter lest i go mad#for now good night !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have class in seven hours and i need to sleep !!!!!
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I’m still so very mad but my pookies (you guys) deserve drawings
#Ignore shit at the bottom I wasn’t fucking W someone in my class#Anyway I think this is pretty straightforward#I need to give fringale my heart attacks ❤️#Tbh fugos personality in this au is just me irl when I encounter a spider 😭#He looks a bit weird here I think it’s the head shape but I was sleepy during second period ok we read a book in French and it was boring#I’m so eepy after I read that book and it’s a bit interesting but. Eepy.#Tomorrow I have to wake up at 6:30 or something wish me luck (I will be sleeping 4 hours probably)#And I’m so maddddd my history teacher wrongfully accused the entire class of plagiarizing and cheating on an exam we didn’t even do yet#Just bc a girl had her phone on her desk she didn’t even touch it to text the group prior to us he was just saying bullshit#It’s not even the first time this happens he always against us for literally no reason#And he’s remaking the exam just for us and putting it for tomorrow last period but we may not even be there then#Bc we will be on a trip at centre ville for hours and the public transport is busy as fuck#We’ll be eating lunch at 2pm bro shut your ass up#Everybody was texting their parents complaining ab that mf bc ain’t no way#We’re so done w cuh#Anyway hihi mini rant (I’m not fucking laughing)#jjba#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo's bizarre adventure#pannacotta fugo#Idk what the au name should be for this give name recs idk 😞#Jjba au#au#alternate universe#Also I didn’t know how to draw his hands shh shut up shut the fuck up/lh
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ooooof why did it take me about 3.5 hours to write about the very first fadelstyle scene alone. at this rate i'm never gonna finish the main text by sunday night (monday noon)
#and i HAVE to finish at the latest by monday at noon#bc i'm busy all afternoon on monday and tuesday i have classes again#and wednesday i also have classes before the new ep drops so i can't really do anything there#except for maybe do some editing/proofreading (at least in the morning class)#ideally i'd done with the main text by appointment monday afternoon#bc i'm studying with my language buddy and i can ask him all the language questions i still need to clear up for my meta by then#and then monday evening when i get home i can work the new info into my meta#and then tuesday in my free time i'll make the gifs i need and then proof-read everything at night#anyway it's 1:30am i better get back to writing as much as i can before bedtime#airenyah plappert#thk#adrm#thing is!! i'll be traveling home tomorrow as well so that's already 3h i can't spend on writing#and monday i'm traveling back again so that's why ideally i'd be done by sunday night (never gonna make it rip)#technically i can write on the train altho i was gonna use that time for assignments kdfjkdf#you know what. maybe i should just pull an all-nighter now#that way i'll have the weekend to catch up on sleep so i won't be tired af when i go back to uni next week#ohhhh there's an idea yeah djfkjkdfkdg
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Bought a stupid suit thing. Disgustang.
#speculation nation#i got it on sale but it was still kinda expensive. ughhhh#hates every part of that. it's so stiff and uncomfortable and unnatural feeling.#but business professional is the recommended attire... so to that i went...#felt bad staying so close to close but the employees were nice about it at least. and i still got out b4 they closed (barely)#i wanted to go shopping earlier today. in between class and orchestra. but allegedly attendance is required in the lab.#so i went. didnt really feel like attendance was taken. but i still went.#still gotta finish prepping my resume but i dont think itll take Too long... i got a template to follow#from my web coding class actually. bc we just happen to have a resume building assignment this week.#so by working on my resume im working on the lab!! yay!!!#except im not doing the lab resume rn. just the normal resume. the template is still helpful tho.#also need to do a bit of research into the companies that are there and the interview style thingie#GOD this is going to be a whole hassle. i dont wanna wrinkle my stupid suit so i shouldnt stuff it in a bag.#and i dont wanna BIKE in the stupid suit. so im thinking of driving up to campus. forking over the money for guest parking#do the stupid career fair then drive back home to change and then go back up to campus on bus or bike in time for bowling#hopefully. we hope. nonzero chance of having to miss bowling and web coding classes tho. depending on how long i spend at this thing.#ultimately career bullshit is more important than one day of bowling so like. whatever.#but i still want a reward for sucking it up and going to the stupid career fair anyways. even tho i Really dont want to.#im already planning on skipping my first class. he made it sound like it would be fine + expected. so we can go to the career fair.#and that opens up a good amount of time so. doing that. and then hoping i can make it to bowling class...#it's funny to imagine if i didnt have time to go back home to change. me showing up to bowling in a suit.#im not doing that tho. this shit was too expensive to risk it doing physical activity.#BLARGH i am so supremely grumpy going to this thing. i dont want to. at all. i hate all this Professional Attire bullshit.#but i need to... and i already went thru the hassle of getting the damn suit... might as well just go.#i will simply pout and grumble the whole way. until tomorrow where it'll be full social smiles and whatever the fuck.#need to get enough sleep to make talking easier. no time for any fun stuff tonight.#need to find my damn. razor. bc i need to shave my little mustache thing probably. for 'professionalism'. ugh.#kicking and screaming this whole way. man i dont think i even own an ironing board. gonna have to hang the shit up and hope for the best#longest sigh imaginable... i just wanna write....... or play video games...... wahhhh#at least itll be over tomorrow. but then i will have to do presentation stuff for thursday. ughhhhhh
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12 straight hours of phone in bed give it up for 12 straight hours of phone in bed folks
#didn't want to get up and eat this morning so i put off taking my meds bc i'm not supposed to take them on an empty stomach but i didn't#ever get out of bed to eat bc i was. unmedicated. and now all i've eaten today is an entire box of cheezits and i still haven't gotten up#it is past 9 pm 🫶 i have 6 hours of class tomorrow 🫶 i am not doing well#i made a color-coded list on my little whiteboard this afternoon of all the shit i needed to do and that apparently took up all my brain's#capacity for action beyond cycling between the same 3 apps#i need to shower sooooo baaadddddddddd :( but i can't do that until i eat and my kitchen is downstairs and idk if i have food anyway#i forgot how much of a nightmare the beginning of winter quarter is :( and i haven't made my mango lassi froyo bc everything's So much money#woe is me boo hoo etc etc#i hope i get up i wanted to be asleep before midnight (it's a benadryl night for sure)#a post#don't think i've gotten more than 5 consecutive hours of sleep in over a week <3 yippee
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Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime
#morningtalks#Ask to tag#<- I have no clue what I'd have to tag this tbh#But for the story.#Me and my friend (crush) are walking at two am after quite the night. I am fully sober but she's got a few drinks and is just tired now#Like we're walking in silence she's just done type of tired#(part of me worries I was too in love with her tonight but I will do my best to rationalize it as Her Being Tired and not my fault somehow)#But yeah we're walking there and we see/hear a bunch of guys that are clearly not on their first drink#They plan to go to the bar we were so I'm glad we left but they are full on far right singing slogans about getting the leftists out#We cross each other on the street and they immediately begin asking us if we're lefties but then they see my pins#And the fact that we're two girls walking alone and assume we're both lesbians#Ify I obviously am. I have Pins lmao but my crush is not (?)#But yeah I had heard their slogans from afar and had already grabbed my scissors discretely in case something happened#I was genuinely just getting myself ready to fight them all just to leave my friend a chance to run if possible#But I was genuinely scared for her (and also for me but I have a bad habit of prioritizing others' wellbeing and especially here)#So they think we're lesbians and immediately start yelling they don't like lesbians and some other hurtful stuff#But it didn't fully enter my brain. I genuinely don't care#But I was still very afraid they DO something#Luckily they just walked away and we were left in peace but I was genuinely ready to do literally anything to not let my friend get hurt#By these men#I might see her a bit tomorrow. Probably not a lot but we'll see each other#And she doesn't seem to mind too much (she thought we'd see each other next week for class obviously and said “til next week”#(translated quite literally))#I thanked her for the evening still but I genuinely think she just needs to sleep and I don't have to overthink everything that happened#In the end#The first hours of the night were AMAZING though. Genuinely never been closer to her than there I adored every second of it#(and the other people were fun too but. She. Yano)#Anyways I have a thing at 11 I'll go sleep before being fully dead for that thing#But I might genuinely have a delayed reaction on those last events tomorrow#But now I gotta sleep too
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#starting to feel Real Anxious about my final assignments im so fucking stupidjfkddi#naurr cuz i feel it it my stomach this is NOT looking good i dont know how im gonna make everything but i just know that i gotta find a way#djdkdkdj this is NOT LOOKING GOOD I REPEAT I THINK im gonna get into an anxious episode which means im gonna feel like im about to have a#heart attack during the entire time im awake and im not gonna be able to sleep bc of it#nxnxxjdj this is great!!! and tem what's funnier is that i set myself up cuz i HAD time i HAD TIME i just didn't have the will#whats tem omg but anyways i feeeel it i feel it im gonna start feeling so bad tomorrow#ughim so fuckiggndn stupid#need to write an 8 page internship report due Thursday#a two page final assignment for history class due Wednesday#a group thingie due friday... i dont know if im gonna have the brains to write all of this during three days cuz tomorrow i wont have time#i have classes during the afternoon and night and i need to make a presentation for this other final assignment due tomorrow night so the#morning is gonna be about doing that lmfao im so cooked cuz i dont really have an easy time writing i hate writing specially academically s#like i hope i die i hope i get ran over or something#jfkskd came back to jot down that i also have a portfolio to turn in on friday lmfaooo
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yayyyy goodnight
#didn't finish but i got close so i'll just take the L and submit it tomorrow morning#this is like the last thing i need to do anyway all my other classes have been done 😭 oh well#today was good. the world looks so much more beautiful when i get sleep and don't have afternoon appointments hanging over my head#tomorrow i finish that essay + clean my room + WRITE! + ask my mom something i've been meaning to ask about for like a month#okay goodnight... 😴😴#.txt
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Me: I love shipping but surprisingly I don't think I have a lot of romantic pairings in my OCS even with the sheer number of them all. How many do I even have, like, four?
*counting*
Me: seven???? No. NINE??????
#ARE YOU KIDDING ME#i need to be stopped#nine is probably not even all of them#god.#anyway this js all because i cant sleep#its 3 am and i have a class tomorrow#cheers
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okay, i purchased like four books and a vintage photograph - i’m calm now
#i think i can sleep#the thing is that i DO want to stop buying books and go to the library#but i’ve decided that i’m gonna do that for like. supplemental information#all the big sweeping overview stuff i’m purchasing my own copy of#because I’m probably going to want to keep them to refer back to#and i’m still very much in the Overview Stage with like. Everything.#and i don’t have any time to go to the library right now anyway#so that will be a 2026 adventure#(what happens in 2025? don’t worry about it…)#anyways - glad i had today to just chill. nap. watch a few films. eat.#i did a LITTLE schoolwork - but i had to leave that mostly as a tomorrow thing#because it’s just been SO constant that i needed the rest#but looking forward to getting back into that tomorrow#(or not actually because i HATE my classes rn lol… but looking forward to getting stuff DONE)#it will all be over soon… just four more weeks of Hell#and then we enter… Hell 2#(maybe hopefully not as bad?? time will tell…)
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I've acquired a bit of an old man sleep schedule. I can't stay awake till 11 most nights and usually wake up naturally around 445-530. Not that I'm complaining, I am much happier as a morning person than I was as a night person, but it is a bit funny.
#i woke up at 530 this morning after falling asleep at 11 last night#thank you for the pet pics in my inbox i fell asleep looking at them i guess#since thats what my phone opened to this morning#i did intend on going back to sleep but then the fire alarms went off and i felt well i ought to get up in case somethings amiss.#nothing was or is#but i got up anyway#ordinarily id go to the coffee shop to do my work but the sunday morning shift always kills my vibe and i dont want to go to starbucks#because their coffee isnt very good and they dont have solid decaf options#and so on. anyway im almost done with the book i have to read for class and then i can start on the essay due tonight#i already have a good idea of what i want to say. its the how thats the problem#its only 800 words which i can churn out very quickly but theyll need some refinement#and then i do have homework that will probably keep me up past 11#alas. the semester is almost over.#i get to go to school tomorrow and then work the rest of the week. im tired of it really#i want a real break#but im 20 and the time for real breaks has passed. i need money and a degree.#on a positive note the collie guy im fond of liked my fb post this morning#i didnt think hed see it#no comment of course but the acknowledgement makes me smile.#i miss dog shows#so much#i think im going to reach out to one or two more breeders. unfortunately theyre out east so itll be a little more difficult#to meet their dogs#because most of the dogs we have here are out of one breeder out west#but id like to make more connections. im still exploring what id like to do with puppy outside of confo#herding seems like heaps of fun and i know a lot of places in co and wa that are really great for euro style herding#i need to attend more sports events#ive only been to herding and bitework#herding is definitely my fave though. nothing beats seeing those dogs in their element lol#anyway i cant imagine anyone read this far
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i am so exhausted i barely have anything to do for the rest of the school year as in. just a few more projects. and then done. but i'm already Finished af. anyway i hope you all are okay, take care okay <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#RAGHHHHhhhhhh ..... i have napped an abnormal amount (personally) the last few days#the exhaustion of. everything ig is getting to me. sobs#uh... i'll finish this one hw and then my parts for this group task and then the test is. ??#notes to myself sorry but i won't even look back to this ik but yeah.#so. message group mates tomorrow for those two tasks. one in the morning b4 class one during free period#i have to deal w the thesis presentation stuff too wtvr the fuck's going on i hope everything will be alright#after this one hw and then my parts for that ... recheck them ofc but afterwards.#nah i should sleep after that... at T__T anyway my goal is to finish basically everything that i can do by tomorrow. which is doable i think#should fix my sleep sched esp b4 june... review for june... follow daily routine everyday properly...#okay. finish this one task finish parts for that one other task. and recheck both.#sleep and message groupmates in the morning. present. message and discuss with other groupmates during free period.#by then i only have... two tasks left for the whole school year + one quiz later. but i gotta fix up thesis stuff w group#alr. okay. i got that.#and i'll work on as much as i can tomorrow (and if i need to. lay off a bit/rest. until sunday)#hopefully hang out with friend on monday. concert on thursday. last day friday#i won't think about reviewing just yet until i finish my#priorities but i need to make sure im at my fucking best then and in advance#anyway hi ... i dont think anyone will read this which idm at all bcs why would you#but if u did uhm hi. hello. have a good day LMFAO i hope everyone has a good day or night or whatever aaa i go now..... sobs#i am very exhausted i think esp since i dont think ive had a proper rest in Ages. and by ages i really mean ages#i dont like napping i dont like wasting time i try to wake at a certain time but often fail but still distrupt sleep#uh i let myself rest on sundays only when going out but it's Going Out and not. just relaxing and doing literally nothing. never#negative thoughts begone!! i refuse to entertain them for now lmfao#there's a lot i want to get to and a lot i need to do but i'll focus on what i need to
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..
#i ran out of tags on the last post AJSJSJS#SO i cant close my eye or use my mouth as well as i normally can and my eye hurts like a bitch#dr gave me 1) a second round of antibiotics 2) swimmer’s ear meds which my parents had to pay for out of pocket (like $90!!!)#3) steroids for the paralysis 4) yeast infection meds bc last time i got one#5) artificial tears to keep my eye nice n lubed up since it can’t CLOSE#so now i’m all full of meds that are making my stomach hurt a fuck ton and fucking with my appetite and making me hot and flushed and angry#i can’t see super well and i cant hear out of the one ear literally at all so stuff like retail job and lab work with classmates are hard#i’m exhausted and sick and have no motivation for schoolwork which I already was struggling w as a result of autistic burnout and PDA#i also do think that this is a hilarious set of unfortunate circumstances and yesterday i was very giggly abt it but today i’m just pissed#i can’t sleep well under the best of circumstances and tonight i rly cant#i tried to go to bed early bc i’m so tired and i need to force myself to go to classes tomorrow since i’ve been skipping a lot of them#my profs know abt the issues btw but :))) academia is hell if you’re at all sick or disabled or having mental health problems or whatever#no room for flexibility or adaptation in my experience#anyway i just wanted to vent for a while!!!#i am not in danger or anything and i’m not a threat to myself or others or anything scary#just frustrated and sick#the paralysis should go away within weeks to months 🙃#for some people it never goes away 🙃#so fingers crossed#but i am thankful to have meds readily accessible even tho they’re expensive and stupid#that’s all!! time to put my sleep mask back on and try to pass out#i tried taping my eye shut per doc recommendation but it wouldn’t stick#💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼
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me gearing up to hate my Fucking life as i work to finish this damned texting bitch of a program due tomorrow, logging into the school website to get the lab info page... only to see the due date's been pushed back a week. probably bc many people, like me, are really... not close to done with it lol
i wouldve known this if id gone to class today probs lol, but i was too busy being gay. so uh. yay? this is a genuine relief lol i was feeling Particularly destructive about it all.
#speculation nation#ive been increasingly irritated today bc of the knowledge that this was waiting for me at home#i knew i wasnt going to finish it in a way that was favorable to me. i was going to need to sacrifice sleep.#but it seems like i wont have to. thank fucking god.#anyways yea my girlfriend was visiting for the past few days (aka why ive been largely absent from here) but she's left again#i only had a few more hours with her so i decided to skip class and be gay instead of going. Lol#and then i had to go to work to do some stuff but i procrastinated leaving bc i was watching critical role#and then the stuff took longer than expected bc i had to make creme brulee bc we were completely out but got more powder for it#did inventory. prepped my notes for the meeting (that is starting. soon.)#then came home. prepared myself for Shit Night. got started looking into shit#and then found this thing. so like lmfao like Hell im going to work on this bitch tonight. fuck that.#uhmmm sorry professor for not going to class for two consecutive class periods i was busy prepping for being gay and then being gay#Finger Guns. lmao#anyways yeah life resumes as normal. im not really getting a day off this week.#WELL depending on things maybe i could get away with not coming in on thursday#i was only scheduled an hour today but it turned into 3.5hr. im not scheduled tomorrow but it's payroll week so i'll go in to do tips#then thursday im scheduled 2 hours for recipe restocking but if no recipes need restocked then like. no need & all#the other days r proper shifts. Though if they dont give us our tapioca by the weekend i'll end up not having a sunday shift#bc BOBA MAKING IS BACKKKKKKKKK (crying tears of joy and pain)#but we're getting a new machine for it so it'll hopefully be Much easier than it used to be. which is good! i fucking hated my Life with it#anyways i know i need to sleep after the manager meeting bc lol. lmao even. staying awake any longer in this kind of mood isnt gonna help
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