#alr. okay. i got that.
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i am so exhausted i barely have anything to do for the rest of the school year as in. just a few more projects. and then done. but i'm already Finished af. anyway i hope you all are okay, take care okay <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#RAGHHHHhhhhhh ..... i have napped an abnormal amount (personally) the last few days#the exhaustion of. everything ig is getting to me. sobs#uh... i'll finish this one hw and then my parts for this group task and then the test is. ??#notes to myself sorry but i won't even look back to this ik but yeah.#so. message group mates tomorrow for those two tasks. one in the morning b4 class one during free period#i have to deal w the thesis presentation stuff too wtvr the fuck's going on i hope everything will be alright#after this one hw and then my parts for that ... recheck them ofc but afterwards.#nah i should sleep after that... at T__T anyway my goal is to finish basically everything that i can do by tomorrow. which is doable i think#should fix my sleep sched esp b4 june... review for june... follow daily routine everyday properly...#okay. finish this one task finish parts for that one other task. and recheck both.#sleep and message groupmates in the morning. present. message and discuss with other groupmates during free period.#by then i only have... two tasks left for the whole school year + one quiz later. but i gotta fix up thesis stuff w group#alr. okay. i got that.#and i'll work on as much as i can tomorrow (and if i need to. lay off a bit/rest. until sunday)#hopefully hang out with friend on monday. concert on thursday. last day friday#i won't think about reviewing just yet until i finish my#priorities but i need to make sure im at my fucking best then and in advance#anyway hi ... i dont think anyone will read this which idm at all bcs why would you#but if u did uhm hi. hello. have a good day LMFAO i hope everyone has a good day or night or whatever aaa i go now..... sobs#i am very exhausted i think esp since i dont think ive had a proper rest in Ages. and by ages i really mean ages#i dont like napping i dont like wasting time i try to wake at a certain time but often fail but still distrupt sleep#uh i let myself rest on sundays only when going out but it's Going Out and not. just relaxing and doing literally nothing. never#negative thoughts begone!! i refuse to entertain them for now lmfao#there's a lot i want to get to and a lot i need to do but i'll focus on what i need to
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I miss being younger and believing the queer community was actually a safe space
#turns out white queers hate poc just as much as literally every other white person ever 💔#big bummer for young me man I feel like the part of me that still believed in people being inherently good broke a little more that day#That sounds super dramatic but it's true in a way#hard to have faith in the inherent kindness of humanity when u grow up black in a predominantly white area 💀#this just reminded me but those positivity posts that r like 'people Are kind' and then like say smth oddly profound kind of make me hopeful#but then just kind of upset#they always feel like theyre comming from a place of privilege yknow#like bro i wish strangers were nice to me out of actual kindness#and not a weird need to prove to the world that theyre not racist without actually putting in any effort to be antiracist#'hey look at me treating this black like a human being! see? im an ally! i posted black sqaures in 2020 and have blm in my bio!'#this is bc my local juneteenth festival got canceled due to lack of funding bc. yknow its been 4yrs#everyones (white ppl) moved on#they dont care anymore and they dont need to bc they alr did the bare minimum to absolve themselves of guilt#rant#ig im lucky i live in a super queer town but its so overwhelmingly white it kind if cancels that out yknow#personal#okay to reblog#if u want to ig idk#moth.txt
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Wow. What a rollercoaster.
#okay context time!!! this might get a bit long!!#okay soo first thing that happened like almost an hour ago: i accidently got the owner role in a server because the owner was giving a diff-#role to someone else and that was funny#everyone was kinda freaking out but i didnt actuslly take advantage of it i just enjoyed the image perms while it lasted#but like literally right after that.#actually first a little context:#me n my friend who we will call Em were talking abt a drawing she made#said drawing had some bit of gore in it#and i mention in these words specifically “sorry guys big fan of body horror art” and this message that started everything “gore 💚💚😍😍”#i remember vaguely that i got timed out and person who we will call B tagged M [M doesnt like gore] and called me a freak#suddenly EVERYBODY starts poking fun at me abt it with dumb additions to my messages#but TODAY. TO-FUCKING-DAY. M BRINGS IT UP AND THEN THE ENTIRE GEN CHAT STARTS FUCKING AROUND WITH ME#AND M FUCKING GIVES ME A “gore lover” ROLE AND PEOPLE WERE CHANGING MY NAME TO DUMB SHIT#UNTIL SOMEONE MAKES IT SO I COULDNT CHANGE IT BACK so i just fucking LEAVE LMAO#and this was going on for like 20 minutes btw#but M was begging me to join back blah blah blah i tell her it was actually pissing me off blah blah blah i join bac#n then they stsrt bullying Em for being yhe convo starter#sad face. but Em said that she doesnt care abt it and she just wanted to get everyone off my ass ::'3 ty Em ily/p#but uhhh yeah i think that was it#i dont even like gore that much anyway#i jst said it for the funnies#i think body horror is cool as a concept [i mean like take the rot from rain world as an example] but i feel uncomfortable drawing it n stuf#FEW. finally done okay bye#chiip is a huge bug enthusiast#rant in tags#tw gore mention#?#alr
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Crying sobbing panicking < applied to another puc
#.mimiming ❜#i got accepted into the first one but like. the languages and stuffff#my mom said she'll inquire about the second one but like. just in case#i filled out the form and sent it#OH GOD THEY JUST SENT A MAIL....#okayy i have to submit some things laterrr...#alr alr..#its okay..#this is the ONLY advantage of going to icse actually#because as long as you get above 60% youre treated like a celebrity#icse is fucking hell tho. i learnt in grade seven what my parents learnt while getting their degree. what the fuck man
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the only person who matches my freak as i touch my reflection and whisper “am i normal” into the big gym mirror is the guy in the corner who only does weights and makes strange grunting noises every time he moves
#okay so im doing an Everything set at the gym and im there for maybe#45 mins? and i start feeling like lowkey kinda faint and really hungry and blood sugar lowy and i want to stick to working out for about#another hour and a half SO BAD but i feel so ick that i stop to go downstairs to get a snack and I’m like so icked out by myself bc it’s li#like literally EW i don’t even have the self control to stop eating to finish my SET?? and the reason why i decided to go eat is because i#had blood drawn today for like the first time in ages so i was worried if i didn’t get food i might actly like be really sick and im on my#period so im alr not at 100% and i didn’t think I’d be able to finish 1 and a half more hours feeling so faint#but then im like those are all just excuses ur self control is SHIT#I tried to get like nutritious shit I got a protein drink a yoghurt cup and a like one serving bag of chips which YEAH not very healthy but#the store only had a couple of options and I knew if I didn’t have something a little savoury I’d binge more later and Actually have no sel#control… so yeah ❤️ now I’m back finishing my set and regeeeting my life choices YIPEEEE
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honkai part 2 has the chance to be either the best thing ever or the worst shit you've ever seen. nothing in between. so until we have more info, I'm excited but also SCARED
#new faces.. got me thinking#truthfully i dont want a new main cast but its bound to happen i just hope its not the apho kids#as much as i enjoy apho i just dont care about self inserts#and the other apho characters.. are okay at best#but main trio's stories feel far from over tbh because the final arc was very rushed so i hope new faces are charas like griseo and su#obviously with completely new charas too BUT as prominent side characters only pleaseee#or antagonists#cause most media i know that did a sequel with an entire new cast is just shit from a butt dkvlfndkg#i wouldnt mind if it is an apho continuation but not in the adam centered/narrated side mode. that can stay on its own#so like a little timeskip after the timeskip?#this definitely wont play out like i want but i can cope. kiana bronya mei are just way too important to me sorry#dont want them to suffer any more than they alr have but. i need them back NOW#well lets see how 1.5 ends first of all (fu hua we need u). ill let them cook#i should've put all this in the og post but i already wrote everything in the tags so idc#honkai impact 3rd#hi3
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help girl i got too silly <\3 (overthought every interaction ever)
#im okay i think#(lying)#hoooh boy#ill be alr but girl (/gnc) what the fuck is this#nahh i could’ve had a NORMAL FUNCTIONING brain but yknow what i got instead ?#a sentient lump of meat. that likes to imagine scenarios that will *never* happen and form ideas of what people think of it#even if like. yknow. ITS IRRATIONAL AS FUCK AND LIKELY WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING#see. if i was a house cat i wouldnt have to worry bout this shit . just be kitty. lick paw. take nap. eat. in whatever order i desire.#oh and be silly and cute.#‘’embarrassing myself in front of a customer? overthinking what a coworker said?’’#‘’eeerm. oh? you wanted to carry on about your day?’’#‘’too bad. here’s the underlying feeling of dread for the next few hours. have fun!’’#I HATE BEING SENTIENT RAHHH RAHHH#I COULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE GUY DOING LITTLE THINGS. WHAT IS THIS!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!#i know i should be a big guy and act like it. but sometimes you gotta like. be a little insane.#okay anyways anxiety rant over. if for some reason you read my rant while i was Probably loosing my mind um.#1. i am sooo sorry you had to witness my illposting#2. i give you a little smooch (/p) for sticking with me . I bite you . (/pos)#kazzy complains#me when im cringe on main
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I like to think about how celebrity gossip magazines of the 00s have made way for YouTube influencer drama. A testament to the human nosiness.
And there is no NEED to be too deeply involved in one corner or another, but I do think that — as long as you’re not being malicious about it — having useless knowledge about somebody else’s life can be a fun little endevaour. Joyfully useless knowledge.
#I don’t really like Rachel 0ates tbh but I got that recommendation of her new video#& the ‘everyone vs Dave’ thumbnail had me all ‘nooo poor Dave!!!’#and reading the title had me genuinely excited for that crossover#also I have to say that I’ve been an on and off ALR watcher for years#but I really really REALLY don’t like how she’s treated. I could go into detail here but it would be an ESSAY#okay anyhow. do you have vague niche knowledge??? I’d love to know tbh
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#wait so i randomly looked for other cheap stuff to throw in w my resurrection of soul kogy tsum but uhh#i saw a like 7 dollar palkia figure.. and a 10 dollar dialga figure.. which are apparently fucking like 30 dollars+ on amazon#ANYWAY for that price i was like ooh okay small desk boi i love those#thats what i got the koga tsum for so he can go beside the rinehime tsums but GIRL#AFTER PUTTING IN THE ORDER (im stupid i know) I CHECKED THE DIMENSIONS ON AMAZON bc its not on amiami for some reason#but amiami always delivers so idgaf#ANYWAY. IT MIGHT BE TALLER THAN MY MIC? OR AS TALL AS?#which isnt that tall BUT THATS NOT A SMALL DESK BOI???#not altered form btw its origin form which i thought would be cool since its the nicer form + im really hyped abt them after the recent#pkmn go event.. i got both roar of time dialga and spacial rend palkia btw :D idk why the moves arent elite tm-able tho?#like thats literally what the items for but ok?#like i have a shiny palkia and spacial rend palkia. separate. bruh.#what am i yapping abt. anyway theyre gonna be on either side of my monitor i suppose. my pc guardians 👍#but i can already hear the “why did u buy this” from everyone.... my defense is it was 7 dollars 😭#ALSO my orders for this and the koga tsum got separated anyway bc tsum is preorder for dec and these 2 are alr released. so fuck me#whatever tho im kinda attached alr so its fine i wont cancel. it still is a steal from 30+ dollars anyway so theyre mine now 🤷♀️#44597#AH ALSO#I OPENED AMIAMI TODAY TO CHECK ON THEM BUT I JUST SAW NEW HELTER SPIDER PLUSHIES?? PIECE OF SHIT#I LOVE THAT ITS NOT FAAAAAAAAAIRR#32 dollars tho so maybe only ever get 1..... not that i have space for it so maybe that buddy will stay seated on my lap#but helter spider rinne.............. or if kogy gets another event n his outfit is cool then maybe that#but the sitting plushies r so cute.. more than that tho i really want a koga ball. the bkub koga ball. but u can only get resells now#and theyre rare so its expensive.... and idk whos reputable as a seller sob sob#anyway. yap over#jokes. 3h later im wondering how long the figures r like from front to back.. shit
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God give me strength cause this game hates me and won’t give me early five stars so I got to suck it up and wait for xilonen and not pull any more for mualani 😞
#I got like 29 put on her banner I think ☹️ got freaking lynette she’s c1 now 😭 and that dumb claymore rainslasher I think it’d be c4 now 🧍#and xinyan who I was praying to get cause BRO I one of the only four stars I don’t have#and I’m getting kachina from the free thing so that’s fine#I alr got bannet c1 sooo#dora daily#let me think out of the dendro four stars I got them all LOL (plus all five stars apart from king baizhu 💔) then for the geos i think i got#them all ? (+kachina coming soon) then electros I need#wait I can’t remember let me check#okay I need mika sara chongyun and fischl#until I get everyone at least c0 !!!#making good progress I’d say 😼👍
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Btw I can never be tumblr famous. You shits can fucking try. Wont fucking work. I got cursed by the wizard
#i bet okay i fucking bet alr#i know this sounds like bait but its true#got cursed by the wizard ☝️#dont make this post blow up or i swear to god im fucking murdering… someone might not be you but its gonna be someone
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Nah dude I'm personally not exactly mad at you cuz I was there before so I feel that
Humans make mistakes so yeah we just gotta learn from them
Just yeah you just gotta be more careful with what you say and do next time
I promise I’ll draw more one piece stuff but these leaks have got me in a MAJOR Pizza Tower kick
#I honestly can't get truly mad at this because I used to think same things when I was younger it's relatable#it's sadly a common mistake#But yeah you're apologizing for what you said so I guess it's okay#about ed edd n eddy idk much about the show but i think theyre teens or kids? thats why having them have kids wasn't a good idea#I got people mad at me when I was younger for saying similar things and I remember feeling so bad#I still feel sm shame when I think back at it#so yeah I'm personally not upset at you. just that what you said wasn't right so yeah so yeah nice that you're apologizing#just be careful next time and I think it's gonna be alr#also check out some research about christians and homophobia stuff#< you'll see being homophobic is not a requirement to be christian - pretty much a requirement not to be actually#there's no need to choose between being christian and being ally#vent#apology#apology post#rad talks#rad opinion
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OFF LIMITS – rafe cameron ¡ (06)
social media & irl AU !
pairing brother's best friend!rafe cameron x brat!reader summary you slide into a random boy's dms on instagram, anything but expecting him to end up being your brother's best friend, let alone the person you'll be spending your summer vacation with. while resisting Rafe and his lingering gazes was an option, you found yourself in the constant loop of crossing the line; said line being your brother. ch content fluff, suggestive (sorry...) unresolved tension, a slight panic attack (nothing too serious!), confrontation, lil angst?!?!
NAVIGATION. series masterlist | 05 ! 06 ¡ 07
rafecameron
WY@ - brent faiyaz
liked by sarahcameron, ryanontop and 1,982 others
rafecameron Doing shit I really shouldn't do for real 🤷🏼♂️
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yourusername nice post g ↳ rafecameron Thanks g ↳ yourusername you're welcome homie 💯 ↳ rafecameron I’m not your homie ↳ yourusername alr bro 😎 ↳ rafecameron 🤐
yoursername rafe cameron is never beating the slut allegations ↳ rafecameron I'll take that as a compliment thank you! Learned from the best 😊 ↳ yourusername Are you slut shaming me right now ↳ rafecameron WHAT NO I’m just saying like you know ahah Ahaha fuck ↳ yourusername yeah right ↳ popeheyward This is gross by the way ↳ yourusername shut up
sarahcameron put that cigarette down little boy ↳ rafecameron Did bug give you the ‘little boy’ virus… ↳ yourusername it's not a Virus. Embrace it 💜 ↳ rafecameron Okay 💜
sarahcameron you forgot the #aimed ↳ rafecameron Shut up Sarah ↳ yourusername LMAO
yourusername watchu know about brent ⁉️ ↳ rafecameron I love Brent ↳ yourusername hmm 🤔 ↳ rafecameron Are you doubting my music taste right now? ↳ yourusername Yes
ryanontop Shii baby you look fine asl 😍 ↳ rafecameron Stawp! 🙊 ↳ jjmaybanks Awh fawk nah
popeheyward Yooo 🫡 liked by rafecameron
user1 Nah who got my dawg posting song lyrics ☠️
user2 Bro’s pussy whipped
user3 who hurt you bae ❤️
user4 may god bless me with your genes ↳ user3 ?? what ↳ user4 im saying iw ant to have his kids 😊
user5 bismallah my body had a reaction to the third slide ❤️
user6 this is fucking insane go fucking kill yourself you fucking manwhore stop fucking posting shit like this ↳ yourusername this is so real you go user6 ↳ user6 thank you 😇 someone needed to say it ↳ rafecameron Uhhh
user7 i told my parents about us
kelc3eee Fit is hard 🔥 ↳ rafecameron Thanks
It’s been three days since you last kissed Rafe, and yet, you still couldn’t get the thought out of your head, reminiscing over the memory each time you strived to distract your mind from it.
Waking up the next morning was like a punch to your stomach, your hopes of it being a dream instantly destroyed with the harsh reality of kissing Rafe. You ended up practically locking yourself in your room, too afraid Rafe might say something, address the said kiss and stupid mistake of reaching for his face in the first place.
To your surprise, Rafe did not bring it up, greeting you with a sheepish grin once you joined them downstairs. It puzzled your brain, as it filled with a million questions over why he didn’t make an effort to bring it up. It was slightly disappointing, even if it was a mistake, he had every right to sort out the situation, pull you to the side and remind you how wrong it was to kiss him, knowing well aware that he was forbidden to the touch.
But he didn’t, and if he did hint it, you definitely chose to look past it, brushing it off everytime you found yourself alone with him, choosing to avoid the situation and feign ignorance to the way your heart would stupidly flutter.
Now, three days have passed, and things are, well, they’re normal. Your friends were surfing, while you sunbathed on the shore, not in the mood to get yourself wet. Rafe, of course, never left Ryan’s side, messing around with your brother to get him riled up, knowing how mad he easily got.
Their giggles echoed through the distance, tugging a faint smile on your lips as you admired from afar, squinting your eyes due to the bright sun beaming through your skin, blocking your vision even with the pair of sunglasses you had on.
Your arms plopped up against the towel beneath you, supporting your body from giving out, even after maintaining the same position for over a while now. The smile on your lips faltered at the sight of Rafe exiting the water, straightening up when you noticed him strolling in your direction.
Heat flushed your face as you caught sight of his bare chest, waterdrops running along the sunkissed flesh, leading down to his drenched shorts, as they hung low around his hips. Your throat ran dry when your gaze halted just beneath his bellybutton, the trail of hair leading to under the fabric of his bottoms leaving little to the imagination. It drove you crazy, eager to see where it guides, head wandering with sinful thoughts every time you caught sight of it.
You cleared your throat, busying yourself with something else, fearing Rafe would catch you practically thirsting over him. The latter however, didn’t say much, dusting the sand off the towel beside yours, before he sprawled himself next to you, crossing his legs to mimic your position.
“Why aren’t you joining the rest?” Rafe questioned, cutting through the comfortable silence.
“Not in the mood.” You replied, keeping your answer short, afraid your voice would crack if you further spoke.
“‘S that so?” He shot back, nudging your foot with his knee. “You’re boring.”
“Boring?!” You muttered with defense, offended by the remark. “Take that back.”
“Hmm…” he trailed off, squinting one of his eyes, blinded by the scorching sun. “No.”
“You’re such an idiot.” You scoffed, stifling out a laugh. “Are you not going back in the water?”
“I am,” he exclaimed, now turned in your direction. “Can I borrow these real quick?”
“Borrow what?–” Your question was cut short, as Rafe’s hand came in view, not giving you a chance to process his action as he snatched the sunglasses off, causing you to yelp with surprise. “What the hell?!”
“Oh, these are nice.” He mumbled, adjusting them around the bridge of his nose. “A bit small, but ‘s fine.”
“You’re stretching them out!” You gasped, reaching for them back, merely for the boy to dodge your hand, tilting his head down with a mischievous grin smeared all over. “C’mon, Rafe, don’t be like this.”
“Like what?” He cocked his head to the side, observing you through his now tinted vision.
“Rafe!!” You cried out, fully sitting up now. “I spent my hard earned money on these, I’ll kill you if they break.”
“Your hard earned money?” He repeated, further teasing you with his comments.
“Okay, my dad got them for me, but–” you started, growing a bit embarrassed at the admission.
“I’ll give them back,” he hummed, taking them off and folding them in place. “Only if you join me, though.”
“I’m not going in the water.” You refused, dismissing his attempt with a nod of disbelief.
“Why not?!” He cooed, “Come on, it'll be fun.”
“Are you crazy?” You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth. “I’m not getting my hair wet.”
“Please?” He further pleaded, jutting his lips into a pout. “Ryan left, who am I gonna be with, now that he’s gone?”
Your head shifted back to the water, merely to confirm his statement. And true to his words, Ryan was no longer in sight, having probably disappeared back into the house in the short while you and Rafe were arguing.
“Hang out with the rest.” You shot back, addressing your friends, as they messed around with each other. “They’ll keep you company.”
“Have you seen them?” Rafe’s face twisted with disgust, his lips forming into a frown. “They’re eating each other’s faces, God knows what they’re doing in that water.”
“Okay, that’s enough.” You replied, disregarding his statement, and looking past the last sentence he muttered. You saw your chance, and took it, contemplating before you snatched the pair of glasses from his hold, muffling your next words with haste. “I’ll kill you next time you steal my stuff.”
“Is that a yes?” Rafe perked up with excitement, taking your silence as a yes before he shot up, instantly offering you a hand. “Let’s go.”
“What?” You angled your head back, locking your gaze with his, slightly taken aback by the hand he offered. “I don’t recall agreeing to this…”
“Well, you’re obligated to join me now; don’t give me false hope then back down when I urge you to do it.” He started, his words somehow foreshadowing a deeper meaning to the teasing statement. Rafe bent down, just enough to take his hand in yours before he pulled you up, a screech of surprise rattling out of your throat.
“Rafe!” You chanted with disbelief, stumbling over your own feet in the process of running, unable to catch up with Rafe, who hurried his way to the water. “Slow down!”
He replied with a chuckle, a rush of adrenaline pumping through your veins as the water touched your feet, engulfing your legs with each step you took, halting when it was just above your knees.
“Wait– fuck, it’s cold.” You started, hands grabbing Rafe’s forearm for support, a mere attempt to stop him. And it did, with the boy pausing to steal a glimpse in your direction. “Let me get used to the water temperature.”
“You’ll get used to it in no time.” He rolled his eyes, though he slowed down his pace, walking leisurely for you to adjust to the cold.
Rafe chuckled as a wave came crashing against your bare torso, stiffening in your spot as a shiver ran down your spine, causing goosebumps to break out across your arms. A deep sigh tumbled past your parted lips, finger nails practically digging into Rafe’s arms everytime a wave would hit.
Your friends greeted you from afar, not questioning the fact that you were alone with Rafe, a big distance separating you from the rest. Deep down, you speculated the fact that they knew, choosing to avoid the topic every time Sarah would ask about Rafe, or whether there was any progress in whatever you had; which you’d dismiss, telling her it was nothing.
“Can we stop here?” You questioned, when the water barely reached your chin, now standing on your tippy toes to keep yourself steady with the flowing water.
“Here?” Rafe repeated, brows knitting with confusion. “Why, are you scared?”
“Slightly, yeah.” You admitted, pursing your lips into a thin line to avoid water from entering your mouth. “This is the deepest I’ve been without a life jacket.”
“Wait, you’re serious?” Rafe’s expression coiled with concern.
You nodded, angling your head up, not risking how rocky the waves get.
“Don’t worry,” Rafe suddenly spoke, earning your attention when his arm sneaked around your waist, ceasing some of the distance separating you from him. “I got you.”
“Nope, that’s it, I’m getting out.” You muttered, turning in his arms, in an attempt to walk back out, merely for Rafe to tighten his hold around you, with your back now pressing firmly to his broad chest.
Your breath caught in your throat, suddenly very aware of his presence, and the mess you got yourself into. For some reason, this felt oddly intimate, despite the boy’s pure intentions, striving to convince you to continue on with him, in spite of you refusing to.
“I’ll hold you.” His voice dropped barely above a whisper, turning you back around, all while keeping himself steady. “Don’t be scared.”
“But I am scared,” you replied, emphasizing the ‘am’ in the process. “Sure, I know how to swim, but what if you get a cramp, and I try to save you, then both of us drown?”
“Come on, I’ll be your life jacket.” He grinned, deliberately dragging you deeper into the water. “Are you doubting my skills?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” You uttered, eyes widening when your feet could no longer reach the ground. “My parents will kill you if something happens to me, I swear to god.”
“Then I’d have to get rid of both of us.” He joked, halting when you were far enough from the shore, stilling you with the arm sturdy around your waist. “How is that? Wanna go deeper?”
“No!” You quickly shot back, hands flying to his shoulders, holding onto them to keep yourself from sinking. “This is good.”
“If you say so.” He chuckled, ignoring the way his pulse quickened when your hands made contact with the skin around his shoulders, your nails lightly dragging over the flesh. He rubbed soothing circles to your side, the gesture a mere attempt to ease you up. “Relax, nothing is gonna happen to you.”
“I’m relaxed.” You lied through your teeth, avoiding Rafe’s gaze, and instead admiring the view surrounding the rocky path leading to the mountains. “It’s so pretty from here.”
“It is.” Rafe mumbled, attention fixed on you. “Super pretty.”
Your lips tugged into a smile at his words, head shifting back in his direction, where he was shamelessly staring at you, not even failing to hide it. You dusted your face with your fingers, flashing Rafe a confused look, as to question why his gaze burned through you.
“Is there something on my face?” You asked, coming to a halt when he shook his head. “Then what is it?”
“Nothing,” he stifled out a laugh, the corner of his lips curling into a smirk. “You’re jus’ pretty.”
“What?” You choked through a breath, growing flustered from the sudden compliment. “What was that for?”
“What?” Rafe’s tongue darted out, coating his lips with a glossy layer of spit. “I said, you’re pretty. Is that not allowed?”
“Shut up.” You shoved his shoulder, laughing off your embarrassment, though your ears burned with heat.
“You know,” Rafe swallowed, admiring your surroundings. “I heard there were sharks in this area.”
“What? Where?” You shouted, heartbeat quickening as panic settled in. “Don’t fuck with me, Rafe!”
“I thought you liked sharks.” His voice lowered with suspicion, eyebrows arching in a teasing manner.
“Not as they’re about to fucking eat me.” You replied, fully ceasing the distance as you wrapped your arms around Rafe’s neck, pressing your chest close to his. “Get me out of here.”
Rafe took your horror as a chance, the hand on your waist trailing up your back, until it settled just beneath your bikini top. “Relax, it was a joke.”
Your head turned to face him, ready to scold him before you noticed how close he was, nose tulling to brush over yours. A shaky exhale stuttered out of your throat, shivers running down your spine when you caught Rafe’s gaze flickering to your lips, the action so subtle, you would’ve looked past it if he wasn’t mere inches away.
Rafe’s lips slightly parted, tongue fidgeting with the roof of his mouth, fingers squeezing around your side, striving to hold himself back, and not kiss you right then in there. You were close, a little too close for comfort, he wanted nothing but to fuck the barrier Ryan created for you two, dive in and hope for the best.
His thoughts were interrupted when you shoved his shoulders, eyebrows furrowing as your lips jut into a pout, one evidently displaying your distress. “That wasn’t funny! Why would you joke about that?!”
“Chill, I’m messing with you.” Rafe snickered, eyes glued to your face, well aware he’d betray himself if he let his gaze wander past your neck.
“By telling me I’ll get eaten to death by sharks?!” You huffed, pausing as you angled your head to the side. “Wait– how’d you know I like sharks?”
“I have my ways.” He cooed, pupils dilating with glint.
“Mhm, yeah right.” You rolled your eyes, figuring it was either Sarah, or your brother. “Let’s head back.”
“But we just got here!” Rafe protested.
“I don’t trust you.” You defensively shot back, shuffling around in his hold.
Rafe chuckled, abiding to your order. He swam back, with you clinging to him for dear life, not daring to risk it and let go. Though, of course, that wasn’t the end, as Rafe suddenly froze, groaning while his face twisted in pain.
“What’s wrong?” You immediately asked, concern washing over your expression.
“I think– fuck.” He groaned, arms loosening around your waist. “I think my leg is cramping.”
“Wait what?” You frowned at his statement, eyes widening with shock when his figure disappeared out of sight, suddenly struggling to level himself with you. “Are you serious, oh my god, should I call for help?!”
You nearly submerged under water when your arms reached for the latter, struggling to drag him up as he sailed down, your hold the only thing keeping him from sinking further into the deep sea.
Wasn’t it easy to drag weights in the water? So, why was it so difficult to get Rafe to the surface?
“Don’t fucking drown on me, Rafe, please.” You muttered with frustration, heart welling with fear, as your vision blurred, the corner of your eyes brimmed with tears. “Somebody help! Please! It’s an eme–”
Your words cut short when Rafe came in sight, water splashing everywhere with the force of him exiting the water. Your mouth gaped to speak, met with utter silence in return, observing as Rafe chuckled at your reaction, feigning ignorance to your panicked state.
“Did that get you?” He erupted into a fit of giggles, wiping the water from his eyes.
“Are you serious?” Your tone washed with disbelief, heartbeat so loud you could hear it thumping through your ears. “Why would you joke about that?”
“Take a joke, it’s not that serious.” He stated, the smile smeared on his lips fading when he noticed how upset you visibly looked.
“A joke is supposed to be funny, dickhead.” You fluttered your eyes, unable to manage the tears rolling down your face. “What if something actually happened to you?”
“Wait, are you crying?” His breath hitched as he let realization sink in, chest swelling with discomfort at the consequences of his actions. You weakly punched his torso, fleeing from the touch when Rafe attempted to inch closer to you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
His hands cupped your face, resting just above the curve of your jaw as his thumb wiped away your tears, now mixed with salt-water. He repeatedly rubbed his finger over your cheeks, striving to calm you down with the subtle gesture.
“It won’t happen again,” he started, tilting your head with the hands engulfing your face. “I didn’t think you’d take it so seriously.”
“Whatever,” you dismissed his apology, though deep down it softened your heart. “It still wasn’t funny, I was scared you’d actually die.”
Rafe’s lips twitched into a smile at your statement, unable to contain the laughter bubbling through his chest. You looked absolutely adorable, leaving him speechless as his action spoke for his affection. He moved forward, leveling your head down before he ceased the distance between you two, and capturing your lips in a soft peck that lasted a near of five seconds.
Your body stiffened at the gesture, so taken aback you almost choked on your own spit in the process. The plush of his lips brushing over yours felt like feathers, as the warmness of his mouth engulfed your skin. It made you yearn for time to stop, enjoy this while it lasted, even if it was for a short moment.
“There, it’s completely my fault.” He whispered once he pulled back, face mere inches away from yours, you could feel his breath fanning over your nose. “Does that make up for it?”
Your gaze seeked his blue eyes through the small distance separating you, finger nails lightly grazing over his arms. Silence heaved the air, as the atmosphere filled with unresolved tension you’ve both been avoiding for the past few days, weeks, even.
Rafe kissed you, and it’s not some stupid joke to get you riled up, or mess around for a reaction out of you. He did it because he wanted to, completely looking over the fact that you were his best friend’s sister, let alone someone he craved in the dimness of the night, somewhere hidden, where no one would judge him for it.
Rafe has been dying to confront you about the kiss, turning into a giddy mess every time he would reminisce over the memory of your lips softly brushing over the corner of his mouth. And though it was small, barely a peck, it drove him insane.
That night, Rafe chose to ignore the guilt rising through his chest as he got off to the thought of you; being able to touch you though he knew you were far out of his reach, not for his gaze to admire. His chest burned with forbidden desire, growing aroused every time he caught you in none but your sheer sleeping shorts, covering nothing and leaving little to the imagination.
“You know,” Rafe muttered through a ragged breath, “About that ni–”
The palm of your hand instantly found Rafe’s mouth, covering it before he could further speak. You knew exactly what he was planning to say, but you weren’t ready. Not right now, still flustered by the kiss he so casually planted to your lips.
Addressing the kiss from three nights ago in the middle of the water, mind you, in an area secluded from everyone else? Yeah, no. That wasn’t quite what you had in mind, Rafe left you no choice but to shut him out.
“Hmm?” You hummed, trying to change the topic.
“What?” Rafe muffled, lips barely moving due to your hand covering his mouth.
“We should leave,” you fluttered your eyes at him, “The sun is setting.”
“Right,” he spoke, eyes shifting down to your digits yet engulfing his chin. “You can let go of me now.”
“Oh,” you swiftly retrieved your hand, clearing your throat as you turned around to avoid meeting his gaze. “Sorry.”
“It’s alright,” Rafe scoffed, following in your steps as you struggled to swim back, breaking into a grin when your arms pushed through the water, slightly splashing the latter with the gesture. “Here, let me help you.”
“I’m good!” You dismissed the suggestion, letting out a sigh of relief when your feet eventually reached the ground, ultimately approaching a safer zone. “I can handle myself.”
Rafe’s giggles seeped through the silence, watching with a glint of amusement as you aimed for the shore, running your way back to the house when you did so. You gave him no chance to confront you about the situation, though the suspense was killing you, it was just not the right time, nor a good place to do it.
Freaking out felt like an understatement for your emotions, letting out a silent scream as soon as you approached your room. Fuck, this wasn’t the first time you’ve been kissed, so why did it feel like you were in middle school, sneaking around the playground to kiss your crush?
It was humiliating, to say the least. Rafe kissed you, and it did nothing but make you grow more fond of him, increasing your affection for him. Butterflies seeped through your stomach, unable to suppress the smile forming on your lips, letting yourself go now that you’re alone.
Your shower filled with giddiness, as you sang along to the lyrics playing in the background, too caught up with the act to realize you’ve spent the majority of the evening in there. You continued getting ready, doing your skincare, and technically everything you would do on an everything-shower day.
A loud ping caught your attention as your gaze trailed down to your phone, eyebrows knitting with puzzlement when it continued buzzing with notifications. You adjusted the pearl necklace around your neck, fastening your pace when curiosity got the best of you, as you instantly aimed for your phone, heart skipping a beat when you read the contact name of the sender.
It was from Rafe, multiple messages, at that.
rafe 👍: Hey
rafe 👍: Come eat
rafe 👍: We got takeout ��
A laugh bubbled out of your throat at the emoji, the invitation silly, yet tempting.
You: im not hungry! go ahead and eat without me :)
rafe 👍: No
You: boy… wdym no
rafe 👍: Come down and eat
Your eyes quirked with suspicion, puzzled over why he was insisting despite you refusing.
You: did you poison my food
You: why are you insisting…
rafe 👍: Damn… I can't even invite you to eat without you making me out to be a dick
You: i mean you are what you eat 😇
rafe 👍:😐 Quit it
You: mb boo
You: is this a date
Rafe’s bubble appeared and disappeared off the screen, the amount of time he took concerning you for a moment.
rafe 👍: Could be one
rafe 👍: Only if you want it to be
Your fingers hesitantly hovered over the keyboard, staring at the message, as if doing that would make the keen in his statement disappear. You swallowed around your dry throat, setting your phone down, merely to process your emotions.
A date.
He can’t say shit like this and expect you not to like him.
At this point, he was playing with your feelings, and that thought alone had your heart breaking to pieces. It’s only been a month, and yet, you were this infatuated with him. Bearing to cross the line for Rafe spoke to you like no other, breaking the unspoken boundaries you set for each other.
You don’t know when it started, from lingering gazes turned into subtle touches, eventually oscillated to heated moments smeared with desire. Wanting each other, not being able to do anything about it because it was wrong. It all fuzzed up your brain.
Rafe was testing you, with each time he threw a hint in your direction. Hell, he should know not to confuse you, as he already went down the rabbit hole of why he couldn't date you, with Ryan warning him every time he’d joke about being into you.
Enjoying it wouldn't hurt, right? Choosing to push the guilt down and let your heart bloom with joy every time Rafe is around was okay, right? Because it’s human nature, how were you supposed to ignore him when his mere presence was so tempting, making you nothing but crave him more.
Guilt was temporary, but regretting this? It was going to haunt you forever, tulling you with decisions you hesitated to commit, afraid they would hurt others, fully abandoning how you felt. Those were your emotions, though, your needs, you had every right to take the risk.
With that, you typed a playful ‘shut up’ back, before heading downstairs, instantly letting puzzlement settle in when you spotted only JJ and Kiara, sitting along with Rafe, who perked up at the sound of your steps.
“Where’s the others?” You questioned, wrapping Kiara in a swift embrace, before you seated yourself next to her.
“John B and Sarah went out for dinner, and I saw Ryan leave with your dad.” She explained, chewing down the mouthful of food. “I have no idea where Pope and Cleo are, though.”
“Oh, they said they’re grabbing booze.” JJ stifled out a laugh, eyebrows quirking in a teasing meaning.
“For what?!” You asked, offering Rafe a tight-lipped smile when he passed you your plate.
“Shut up, JJ.” Kiara rolled her eyes, fixing her attention back on you. “He’s messing, don’t listen to him.”
“I’m not lying–” his words cut short when Kiara kicked his knee, the gesture earning a breathy grunt out of the latter. “What was that for?”
“To keep your mouth shut.” The girl replied, forcing a fake beam across her lips.
Rafe snorted as they continued bickering throughout the whole time you joined them. He flashed you an apologetic smile, not aware of the chaos awaiting you two. Fortunately, JJ and Kiara excused themselves once they were done, informing you they’d be chilling by the shore for the night, leaving you all alone with Rafe.
The air heaved with tension, the atmosphere filling with unspoken confessions you both oughted to address. Rafe’s been full, using the food as an excuse to enjoy your presence for a little longer.
“‘You ignorin’ me?” Rafe started, scraping his fork against the veggie pieces splayed on the plate.
“What?” You shot back, frowning at the sudden assumption. “Why would you think that?”
“Well, it’s just that,” he tilted his head to the side, putting the utensil in his hold down. “You seem uncomfortable.”
“Well, I’m not.” You mimicked, playfully rolling your eyes. “Besides, we don’t even speak for me to ignore you.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” He nodded his head, gaze glued to his arm plopped on the table. “You’d rather kiss me instead.”
“What?” A choked cough barely exits your throat, eyes widening with shock over Rafe’s statement. That caught you off guard, even more when Rafe maintained a blank expression, offering you a glass of water to down the rest of your food.
“Are you okay?” He asked, “Do you need more water?”
“Why would you bring that up?” You brushed off his concern, his words echoing over and over in the back of your brain.
“You kissed me,” he repeated himself, stating the obvious. “Did you not?”
“I did, but–” you stammered, face flushing with heat. “I didn’t mean to?–”
“You grabbed my face, leaned forward, then proceeded to kiss me.” He muttered, reminiscing back to the memory. “What about that did you not mean?”
“It was a mistake!” You hurried to respond, stumbling over your own words in the process. “I was drunk, out of my mind–”
“Oh, so it’s a mistake?” He snorted, straightening up in his seat. “You go around kissing people when you’re drunk?”
“Okay, why are you being a dick?” Your nose scrunched with frustration, exploding in the latter’s face. “And if I do? Then what, you’re gonna do something about it?”
“I’m trying to make sense of the situation here,” he shot back, his arm moving in front of his chest. “I’m not fucking around, okay? I’ve been dying to speak to you, but you never gave me a chance to explain myself.”
“What’s there to explain, Rafe?” Your voice lowered in tone, taken aback by how fast the conversation took a turn. “I’m like Sarah, huh? Then you go n’ fuckin’ kiss me?”
“Why are you switching the–”
“No, let’s discuss the incident from earlier, since we’re fucking talking.” You cut him off, jaw clenching to prevent yourself from breaking down. “You keep pulling these stunts on me– first in the grocery store, then in the car, and earlier in the water– what is it that you want? You know Ryan won’t be happy if he found out, so why do you keep– why do you keep fucking confusing me, Rafe?”
“I–” Rafe’s words caught in his throat, hands clenching into fists.
“Forget it.” You clicked your teeth, grabbing your phone as you stood to your feet, streaking your way past Rafe, with the intentions of reaching the stairs.
Rafe called out your name, voice breaking with despair. “Where are you going?”
The way your name rolled off his tongue made your heart skip a beat, letting your eyes force shut as you feigned glancing back, afraid you’d give in if you caught sight of his expression.
You entered one of the guest bathrooms, locking the door behind you before you immediately dialed Cleo’s number, impatiently clicking your fingers over the phone as you waited for the girl to pick up.
A sigh of relief escaped your throat when she did, a bit of shuffling going on her end.
“Hey Cleo,” you muttered through a breath, taking a deep inhale, as your thumb pressed to your bottom lip. “I– sorry, I know you’re out with Pope, I jus’ really needed to talk to someone and I–”
“Hey, it’s okay.” Cleo spoke, interrupting your rambling. “Take a deep breath, I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be here.”
“Okay,” you nodded, though she couldn’t see you, obliging to her orders. “Sorry, fuck–”
“Why are you apologizing, girl?” She shot back, attempting to soothe away your worries. “Now slowly, tell me what’s bothering you.”
“I kind of, uhm…” you trailed off, fidgeting with the ring hugging your finger. “I fucked up, Cleo. I got ahead of myself, and ruined everything.”
“No you didn’t.” Cleo assured, “What happened? Don’t panic, okay? Everything will be alright.”
“Alright, I didn’t mean to keep this from you, I thought it would be a fleeing moment, but I guess not?–” You hesitated, nervously biting your lip as you prepared yourself for the confession. “I kissed Rafe, and while it was somewhat, he tried to confront me about it, and I panicked!”
“Okay, woah, woah.” Cleo uttered, disbelief visible through her tone. “When did that happen?”
“Three days ago, after the party.” You huffed, angling your head back with a pout. “I’m such an idiot, why am I acting like something happened between us? I lashed out on him and stormed off, what if he regrets it?”
“Well, you’re the one who kissed him.” Cleo clarified, “Why would he regret it?”
“Actually– something sort of happened earlier…” you mumbled, clearing your throat.
“Don’t tell me he fucking kissed you, Bug.” Cleo took a guess, making you freeze in your spot, not denying her suspicions. “He did? What the hell, and you didn’t say anything?”
“Listen, I barely got time to process it, I was planning on telling you eventually.” A sigh stuttered out of your throat, crying out loud. “I’m so dumb, why did I get mad at him? It’s not even his fault!”
“Calm down, baby, it will be alright.” Cleo secured, “I’m sure he understands, this is probably bothering him as well.”
“What if he thinks I’m childish?” You questioned, “I felt so guilty, Cleo, I don’t want his friendship with Ryan to fall apart ‘cause of me.”
“That won’t happen, trust me.” Cleo advised, her tone soft. “It’s obvious that you’re both attracted to each other, Ryan will have to accept it, he can’t interfere jus’ cause he doesn’t want you dating his friends.”
“But he’s right,” your shoulders relaxed with disappointment, already imagining the scenery Ryan would put out. “And Rafe doesn’t like me, trust, I’m like ninety-nine percent sure he doesn’t.”
“Ninety-nine?” Cleo cooed, earning a chuckle out of you. “Okay, come on, have you seen him? Pope told me about what happened on the way back, don’t tell me this man is not head over heels for you.”
“Why’s Pope snitching?!” You scoffed, sniffling as you rolled your eyes. “Okay, maybe he might like me, he keeps dropping hints, but I don’t know?”
“What hints?” Cleo’s tone glinted with curiosity, waiting for you to further speak.
“He texted me earlier, and I was messing around but instead of brushing it off he went with the flow?” You explained, your words coming off as a question. “Maybe I’m misreading the situation, but let’s say he did like me, then what? What do we do, will we keep things a secret because of Ryan?”
“Why are you thinking about that?” Cleo giggled, ridiculed by how much you were overthinking this. “Enjoy it, okay? You like him, go for it, don’t hold back.”
“And if he doesn’t like me?” You stifled out a laugh, leisurely fluttering your eyes shut. “I don’t know, it started off as a joke, but I’m starting to for real like him, Cleo. I’ve never felt this way about someone before.”
“Okay, there you go, you got your answer.” Cleo chanted, making you shake your head. “Now, I don’t mean to be nosy, but it’s your fault for mentioning it.”
“God, what is it?” You rolled your eyes, already expecting what she was about to say.
“What did he say in those messages?” She asked, earning a chuckle out of you, as you moved the phone from your ear, already pulling up Rafe’s contact.
You screenshotted the conversation, Cleo’s voice muffling through the speakers of your phone, her words fully incoherent. “Hold on, I can’t hear you.
Cleo remained silent, waited while you cropped the screenshot, before bringing the phone back to your ear. “Alright, what did you say?”
“I said hurry up!” She chimed back.
“Okay, someone’s curious.” You teased, pressing on the photo icon, before you selected the image and sent it over, waiting for Cleo to receive it. “There.”
“You sent it?” She asked, humming as she pulled up your messages. “I don’t see anything.”
“What? But I sen– oh.” you halted as you let realization kick in, immediately reaching for your phone, hoping your suspicions might be wrong. “Fuck, Cleo, I sent it to Rafe.”
An audible gasp escaped Cleo’s lips at the statement, words going unnoticed as Rafe’s text bubble appeared on the screen, not giving you a chance to delete it before he saw it.
rafe 👍: ???
“Oh my God, he saw it.” You whispered, “Wait, let me go back to my room.”
You creaked the door open, instantly shutting it when Rafe came in sight, heart thumping loud with panic. Your eyes widened a bit, when footsteps echoed through your ears, knowing the owner behind the noises.
“He’s heading upstairs,” you informed Cleo in a hushed tone, “What do I do?”
“Where are you?” She asked.
“I’m in the upstairs bathroom, the one down the hallway.”
“Okay, wait ‘till he leaves, then go back to your room.”
You nodded, even if the girl couldn’t see you, too nauseous to comprehend normal words out. Hell, that probably weirded him out, what will he think now?
However, despite how nervous you grew, Cleo stayed on call, assuring you that it would be alright, even though you knew deep down, it wasn’t.
“Alright, I’ll go now, it’s quiet,” You sighed, breath shaky with anxiousness. “We’ll talk when you’re back, I’m sorry for taking up your time.”
“Are you sure?” Cleo questioned with concern, “I can stay on call until we’re back, I don’t mind.”
“No it’s okay,” you insisted, “Besides, I’m tired, I’ll see about this tomorrow, it’s too much to process right now.”
“Alright,” Cleo exhaled, “Let me know if you need anything, we’ll be back in a bit.”
You bid your goodbyes, putting your phone down as you aimed for the door, peaking your head out to check whether the coast was clear. Your shoulders relaxed when Rafe was nowhere in sight, tippy toeing your way back to your room, making sure to be as careful as physically possible.
Barely escaping the situation, your heart sank to your stomach when you unlatched the doorknob, now greeted with Rafe seated on the edge of your bed, perking up when you made your presence known.
“What are you doing here?” You mumbled, feeling your throat run dry.
You wanted the ground to split and swallow you whole, unable to bear the embarrassment of facing Rafe, now a few feet away from you.
“You know…” He trailed off, getting up with a groan. “I was plannin’ to give you space, talk things out when you’re ready, but…”
Your fingers clutched to the doorknob when Rafe walked in your direction, towering over you and cornering you against the door, as it leisurely closed within each step you took back.
“God, you’re killing me.” He whispered, gulping as his gaze flickered to your parted lips, coated with a faint layer of spit.
His fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt, hesitating before pressing his hand to your hip, his hold burning holes through your flesh. Your eyes remained on his face, watching as his expression changed into something serious, stirring up your insides with a rush of adrenaline.
You stiffened under the touch, slightly taken aback by the bold move, even as your body leaned into it, chasing after the sensation of his fingers marking your skin. ,
“You know how much you’re affecting me, don’t you?” He hushed out, digits dragging up your side, and tumbling just beneath the material, his touch welcoming the warmness of your skin. “The amount of times I had to control myself, and respect the boundaries I set with Ryan.”
“Rafe.” Your tone lowered to match his, an inaudible gasp exiting your parted lips when he pinned you to the door, fingers squeezing the plush of your flesh. “What are you doing?”
Rafe stuck to answering with his actions, bringing his other hand to your face, and taking the curve of your jaw in between his fingers. His thumb pressed to your chin, using it to angle your head up, striving to study your face up close.
“You’re breathtaking, you know that?” He whispered, smearing your glossed lips with his thumb, the gesture causing you to part your mouth in a sigh. “God, you know how difficult it was? Telling myself you’re off limits; when you’re all I think about, twenty-four, seven; always on mind.”
“You’re ridiculous.” You exhaled through your mouth, vision going blurry as Rafe leaned his forehead against yours, his hot breath fanning above the bridge of your nose. “We shouldn’t be doing this, Rafe.”
“I was barely holding myself back,” He muttered, trailing light, open-mouthed kisses to your lips. “It’s your,” a kiss, “fault,” and another, “for tempting,” he paused, “me.”
That was the only sign you needed as you moved forward, letting your guilt wash with new found desire when you captured Rafe’s lips in an eager kiss you’ve both been dying for.
Rafe’s arms sneaked to your sides, locking you in place as he ceased the distance separating you two, though that felt impossible, as he licked and nipped at your lips, suddenly feeling drunk on your sweetness.
You tasted amazing, way better than what Rafe had imagined, leaving him craving more as he angled your head to the side, with the intent of deepening the kiss.
In that moment, you didn’t care whether this was a dream, or reality. In fact, you wanted to wake up the next morning with the same giddiness filling your insides, Rafe being the reason behind it.
You wanted Rafe, the kiss merely proving the yearn tulling your insides, till you no longer were able to bear it.
Fuck it, you chose to take the risk, let yourself enjoy this while it lasts, knowing that eventually, you’d need to put an end to it; hence Rafe is off limits.
a/n all support is v much appreciated! pulling my hair out i forgot how to write. SORRY ik i didnt do the kiss justice but i just wanted to get the kiss out of the way... dont get bored of me yet i promise theres so much more to squeeze in the next four chapters theyre just entering their situationship era 🙈 ALSO IK I SAID THERE WILL BE TEXTS BUT I LIED next one 100% though!!! anyways yeah i hope you enjoyed, lmk ur thoughts!!!
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𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After breaking up with your boyfriend of four years, you’re left heartbroken and desperate to leave it all behind. But as fate would have it, just as you’re about to walk out the door of his house, you run into his fatherㅡ the man who’s always lingered at the edges of your mind. the next sensible thing to do is fuck him.
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: pwp, bf's dad joel miller x f! reader, short description of toxic rs, fight scene, afab reader, i dont know if this is categorized as cheating :p , age gap, fingering f receiving, joel has a huge one but we alr know!, dirty talk, pet names, p in v unprotected, creampie, slight slapping and hairpulling.
✿ 🪽 𓈒 ﹫𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐤𝐢𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 ..\ ♰ i have been neglecting you cute freaks, but i am here to feed you. behold! boyfriend's dad joel miller smut! around 2.6k words, so it's pretty short, but i hope you love it. not proofread!!!!! okay baiiii 😎🫶🏻
The fight tears through the house like a hurricane, each word leaving wounds too deep. "You never listen to me!" you yell, your voice raw and trembling. Your chest aches, your throat burns, but the word vomit won’t stop pouring out. "Four years, and it’s like I’m shouting into a void! Do you even care about us?"
"Do you even fucking hear yourself?" he fires back, pacing the room like he can’t bear to stand still. "God, all you do is pick fights! You always need something to be wrong. What the actual fuck?"
"Because something is wrong!" Your voice cracks, and the tears come faster now, hot and humiliating. You hate how small you feel, how desperately you want him to care. "I’ve been fighting for this, for you, and all you do is act like it’s a burden!" He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. "Maybe it is. Maybe you are." The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Your breath catches, and for a moment, the room feels impossibly still. You don’t want to cry anymore, but the tears fall anyway, blurring your vision as you step back. "Fine," you whisper, your voice trembling. "If that’s how you feel, then we’re done. I’m done." He freezes, his expression shifting to something almost regretful— but not enough to stop him. "Fuck this." He grabs his keys from the counter and storms out without another word. The door slams behind him, the sound echoing in the quiet house.
For a moment, you just stand there, arms wrapped tightly around yourself as you try to hold in the sobs threatening to break free. The silence feels suffocating, pressing in on you from every angle. You can’t stay here. You need to leave.
You grab your bag and wipe your face as best you can, hands still shaking. You tell yourself you’re fine, that the fresh air will help. But as you turn the corner into the foyer, you collide with something solid— someone solid. "Whoa there," a low voice drawls, steadying you with hands firm and sure. Your heart stutters as you look up and see Joel, your now ex-boyfriend's father.
Your breath catches in your throat. His hand is on your arm, warm and grounding, as his dark eyes search your face. His presence is like a balm, so different from the storm you just walked out of. He’s all quiet strength and rugged edges, his salt-and-pepper beard only making him look more like someone carved out of the earth itself. "Hey, sweet girl," he says, his tone warm and laced with that familiar twang. "What’s got you all worked up? You alright?" The sound of his voice is enough to break you all over again. You shake your head, the tears spilling over despite your best efforts to hold them back. You try to answer, but your words falter. All you can do is nod, though you know you’re far from alright. Not when his thumb is brushing lightly over your flesh, not when his scent— warm, woodsy, familiar— makes your knees fall weak. You can’t look at him, can’t look at the steadiness in his eyes or the way his hands ground you when you feel like you’re falling apart.
"Hey now," he says softly, pulling you into a hug before you can protest. His arms wrap around you, strong and safe, and for the first time all night, you don’t feel like you’re about to shatter. "C’mere, sweet thing. You gotta talk to me, mkay? What happened?" You press your face into his chest, breathing in hus smell that makes you feel like you’re home, even though you know you shouldn’t.
It’s absurd, really. You’ve always known he was handsome, but standing this close, it hits you differently. You’ve always noticed him in ways you shouldn’t, caught yourself glancing too long, wondering too much. And now, with tears still wet on your cheeks and your heart in pieces, he feels like the only steady thing left in the world.
"It’s over," you mumble against his shirt, your voice muffled but thick with emotion. "I broke it off with him. For r-real this time..." Joel pulls back just enough to look at you, his hands settling on your shoulders as his brow furrows. "You and him?" he asks gently, but you could tell he wasn't quite sure in your answer. "You sure ‘bout that?"
"Y-yeah..." You nod, your throat tight. "So you don’t have to... act nice anymore. You don’t have to pretend like you like m-me or care or whatever. It’s done now..." His expression shifts, confusion flickering across his face before something warmer takes its place. His lips part slightly as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.
"Sweetheart," he says, his voice dipping lower, softer, like a secret meant just for you. "What the hell gave you the idea I don’t like you?" You blink up at him, stunned. "I just—"
"Little lady," he interrupts, leaning closer, his voice growing rougher, "it’s damn near impossible not to like you." Your breath catches as his thumb brushes over your cheek, his stare unflinching, as he examines your tear-stained face. There’s something in his eyes you’ve never noticed before—something unguarded, like he’s been holding it back for years. "Sweet thing like you," he murmurs, his lips quirking into the smallest of smiles. "Anyone with half a brain’d like you. But me? Hell, darlin’. I’ve liked you since the day I met you."
You step back slightly, just enough to meet his gaze fully, searching his face for any hint of pity, of kindness given out of obligation. "You don’t need to lie to me," you say, voice trembling. It feels like your heart is spilling out of you, breaking open right here in front of him. "Not just to make me feel better..."
Joel’s brow furrows, his dark eyes softening, and for a moment, neither of you speaks. A thread holds stretched taut between you. He doesn’t drop his hands from your shoulders, doesn’t let you pull away any further. Instead, he tilts his head slightly, studying you like you’re the most important thing in the world right now, like he’s trying to figure out how to put the pieces of you back together.
"What reason would I have to lie to ya now that you ain't with my sorry ass boy?" His voice is low, almost a whisper, but it carries a shiver down your whole body. You swallow hard, shaking your head. "I don’t know. I just—" You stumble over your own tongue.
Joel exhales slowly, his lips pressing into a thin line as his eyes bore into yours. simmering, waiting to swallow you whole. "Darlin’," he murmurs, "Let me show you then." Before you can even think, he leans in.
The world falls away the moment his lips meet yours. It’s soft at first, hesitant, like he’s giving you a chance to stop him if this isn’t what you want. But when you don’t pull away and when you melt into him instead, your fingers clutching at his shirt, he deepens the kiss, large hands sliding from your shoulders to your waist, pulling you closer.
His lips are warm and sure, washing away any heartbreak you might've felt.
When he pulls back, his forehead rests gently against yours, his breaths mingling with your own. "Am I lyin'?" Your chest tightens, the tears welling up again, but this time they’re different. They’re not the tears of heartbreak—you’re not even sure what they are, only that they feel a little like hope.
"Mister Miller," you breathe, his name dancing on your puffy lips. He smiles, soft and a little sad, brushing a thumb along your cheek. "I got you, sweet girl. You just let me." and you crumble completely. with no hesitation, he picks you up, taking you to the nearest bedroom, where he closes the door behind.
it felt wrong. it was wrong. but the way he looked looming over, you got your head spinning in all the right ways. the bed pooled under you, sheets rustling as you watched joel discard part of his clothes. you nip at your lower lip, scooting your body upward to remove the pants you had on. in mere seconds, both of you are naked, gasping, and holding onto each other like nothing else mattered.
You finally get to see joel fully naked and you can't quite understand how a man his age looks the way he does, and how he's still single, given the package he's been blessed with. "you can stop starin' now. you wanna get me shy?" joel teases, his shaft now on full view for you to gawk at. you're taken by surprise when he so easily pulls you down towards him.
he trailed kisses down your chest like flowers fall from cherry trees in the spring, your body reacting in ways you didn’t know were possible. "Please hurry..." and he chuckles, maybe proud maybe amused to see you this desperate. "'m sorry, darlin'" You purr under his touch, wrapping around him like he's a lifeline. his lips crash against yours again, rough palm slipping into your wet panties. you gasp, the feeling so strange yet so familiar. he lets go of your lips, thick fingers working their way inside of you. Joels eyes meet yours, and he curls his digits, speed picking up. the sounds youㅡ your pussy made, were pure music to him, constant encouragement to go harder, faster, loving the way you looked crumbling onto his fingers. "got such a pretty pussy. Sure you ok with an old man ruin it for anyone else?" he asked it as if it was the least absurd thing he could say right now. you nod your head profusely. "atta girl. knew you were the obedient kind first time I saw ya."
"You gonna come?" Almost mocking you, but you could bot form the proper words. You just looked deep into his glinting eyes as your hand made its way to his hardened crotch. "P-pleasee..." Joel almost loses himself, but he's steady with his movements. "Wanna come on my cock, hm? is that what you beggin' for?" your folds drip and clench around him deliciously, you don't want it to end. and when you're almost there... he stops. you whine in protest but you're quickly put back in your place with a firm tug at your hair. "You take what I give you, girl. Now ass up." you comply. in a second, your back is facing him, red cheeks now hidden into his pillow. you try to balance yourself up with one arm, but he grabs you by the wrist.
"Spread 'em." And you do just that, pulling at your flesh. like an auction. only it's you presenting your cunt for fucking. "Fuck, look at that..." he tuts, gathering some of your juices on his pulsing tip, dragging it up and down your puffy lips. "Pretty girl. She cryin' for me, baby?" a string of fain 'yesyesyes' reaches his ear. hes quiet for a bit but the moment he pushes the tip inside you feel your knees buckle, all the strength you had left into your arms fluttering away. you fall face first into the mattres under you as joel pushes down your lower back. it hurts, but the pain is delicious. your moans feel the room, the occasional slap to your ass interrupting them. Joel is strong, fast and brutal, leaving you no room to breathe, fucking so deep into you you're sure he's way past your bellybutton. "T-takin' it so well, pretty girl, so well.." your skin burns where joel touched it, whole head fuzzy and empty. "pleasepleaseplease" as the whole bed shakes and strums to his movements.
your back arches as waves of pleasure break over your body like water on a shore. your head was spinning, heart pounding, as his whole weight dominated over you. "That's it, baby, take it." his thrusts are rough, each hit making your body bounce, the urgency as he hit that very spot each timeㅡ your whole insides burning, too cock drunk to talk or respond, other than some pathetic whines that perfectly accompanied the wet sounds your pussy made. "been dreamin' about havin' you like this, baby. look at herㅡ" joel throws his head back, delivering a harsh thrust, the pain quickly melding into pleasure. "gonna come, hm?" he's stern and rough with his request. "hhhaㅡ y-yes, plea-se..." You don't know if you're crying because it feels too good or because of how long you've waited for this, no matter how unforgiving this could be.
eyes shot open when he roughly yanks your hair, your skin slapping on his being to only sound you can faintly make out in your dazed state. you let your whole body go, tongue lulled out as he takes out on you anything he might've been feeling. you were at his mercy, your moans irrefutable. your stomach flips and churns as that familiar feeling pools again in your lower tummy, and you were chasing it, crying. from what, you didn't quite know. maybe because you've never been fucked this good or maybe because it'll be over too soon.
the room was stuffy. "o-oh myㅡ god!" You yelp when joels speed picks up, shocked that he can go that fast, considering you've heard him multiple times complaining about his bad back. "shitㅡ i gotta come, baby. you gonna let me do it in ya? huh?" You nod your head so, squeezing around him like a ring, and he rewards you with a slap to your ass. "fuckin' slut." he laughs through breathy moans. you're holding on for dear life, reaching for anything your fingers can grasp at this moment. you're sure the neighbors are having a blast seeing the whole house shake. "that's it, girl. take itㅡ c'mon..." with a few more pumps his hips come to a halt, whole body trembling as he comes ropes inside of you. you let go, bliss washing over you, the ringing in your ears covering the soft curses escaping Joel's lips. steadying himself, he pulls out, voice cracking as he speaks again. "fuuck... baby, look at her." he smiles crooked, watching intently as his come drips out of you, cascading down to your thighs. you lick your lips, looking back and right up at him whilst spreading your legs wider.
"Don't do that. think I don't have it in me to fuck you again?"
you tease, "i don't know. do you?" and he laughs, pushing inside of you again, watching as your face contorts in pleasure. "Careful, girl."
you wonder when your boyfriendㅡ i mean exㅡ will come back home.
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal smut#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal fanfic#joel miller fic#joel tlou#joel x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#boyfriends dad ! joel miller
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hihiiiii no art for now bc my dog bit me 😭😭
#hes alr vaccinated tho so no rabies yay#im okay now#kinda#my left arm got hurt#my right middle finger too#so i cant hold the pen to draw#ugh
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Bdubs' first attempts with the mace
Transcript under the cut
Skizz: Bdubs, now Grian--(clears throat) I'm curious. Let him do this and then I'm-- Grian: I'm in deep pain. Skizz:--I have an idea for something. (to Bdubs) I won't move buddy, 'member, it's a bucket clutch. Don't go for my head, go for a bucket clutch at my feet. Bdubs: Alr--(clears throat) and this is a right click, or a left click? Skizz: It's a left click- Grian, at the same time: Left click. Skizz: Like, attack. Grian: Bonk! Bdubs: Okay, alright. Skizz: Here we go--(wheezing laughter) Grian: Say a good catchphrase! Bdubs: Are ya ready? Skizz (mimicking Bdubs): I hope you're ready. Tango: (cut off laughter) Bdubs: Stop! It's hamma' time! (misses hitting Skizz) Tango: Awww--(everyone laughing) Bdubs: Dang it! Tango: --minus the hammer. Gem: Not the miss, Bdubs... Bdubs, defensively: He--I'm a little rusty! Gem: Ohhh... Bdubs: Stop! It's hamma' time. Tango, at the same time: (through laughter) it's hammer time... (Bdubs misses again, Skizz begins laughing) Gem, groaning: Bdubs... Tango: It's gonna have to be hammer hour at this rate. Skizz, laughing: It's hammer calendar! Grian: Is it hammer time yet? Tango: It's hammer phase of the moon. Bdubs: It's hammer time! (he misses, Skizz begins laughing harder) Bdubs, frustrated: Ooooohhhhh!! Bdubs: Alright, last one! Skizz: No, you got-- Gem: I wanna see him try a bucket clutch now. Bdubs: This is it--I bucket clutch better than you! I'll bucket ca--clutch competition you right now, okay. (everyone laughing quietly) Skizz: You're left clicking, right? Bdubs, at the time time: Stop. It's hamma--please be quiet during the--my moment. Grian: Can you do a different catchphrase this time? You got-- Tango: It might help, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Bdubs: Uh--Looks like the hammer just found a nail! (he tries again, and dies, his items exploding everywhere) (everyone begins hysterically laughing) Bdubs: Dang it! (the laughter continues) Bdubs: What an embarrassment. (through laughter) What an absolute embarrassment. (more snickering, Tango sounds like he's crying from laughter) Bdubs: Some chainmail pants-- Skizz: That was one of the greatest things I've ever seen-- Tango, through tears and laughter: I can't stop laugh--(he cuts himself off with laughter) Bdubs: Aghhhhh. I'll--I will not be using a mace, as we have demonstrated here, today. (Tango is still laughing hysterically in the background) Skizz: That was so good--that was too good!
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