#anyway. crazy that i can even consider these things
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*peeks in*
Could I request some hcs for your husband Geo, my husband Sol and Deryl (separately, established relationship) who’s s/o goes to a wedding event with them, and then they both have the opportunity where they can dress up in wedding attire for a photoshoot at the event and pretend that it’s their future wedding?
Something like the Standing Next to the Kind and Gentle You event from pjsekai if that helps even a little!
Thank you if you take this!💛
A Frozen Moment
Hey Anon! Hope this is what you had in mind, thank you for requesting me to write this!
Sidenote: Deryl got over his crush on Jess, it’s in the past now. Also yes it’s a wee bit shorter. My brain had no clue how weddings work.
I suck at titling things holy shit.
Hope you enjoy! 😌
-- Signed solemnly by @biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer AKA Sky Fort(resse)s and Burning Citadels
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Sol is someone who avoids most social gatherings like the plague, the only people he’d probably make exceptions for are you and Hyugo. So when Hyugo announces that he’s marrying a chick he loves, Sol and you definitely show up - with him offering aid if Hyugo needs anything.
The two of you are considered to be very close friends of his, so at the wedding you both generally get better seats and are able to actually know and find things out easily, due to your connections with Hyugo.
Anyway this wedding - as expected of a highly wealthy and famed family - was exclusive, very bougie, very esteemed. You barely knew anyone there, so you and Sol were essentially stuck together, talking to people who didn’t appear to be insanely rich or crazy. 
In terms of dress code, you both wear matching outfits (mostly his idea), but he’s a man who wants people to know he’s yours and that you’re his. You both doll the other up and overall just goof around before actually arriving.
Sol may or may not be taking notes for your own wedding.
He definitely serves as support for Hyugo, because most people - even extremely chill ones - would freak out at the idea of themselves getting *married*. 
Anyway after the ceremony, you both congratulate them yadayada and eventually he jokes that he can get you two to be photographed in your own wedding attire while him and his new spouse go off to do their own things.
You two agree and essentially are allowed to get dolled up even further, and it’s only friends who kinda remain at the point where you guys are doing this.
Sol typically hates being photographed, but eventually gets used to it when he notices how pretty you look. Mans is stunned. That view is ingrained into his brain.
You two definitely keep the photos, he wants to put them everywhere, while you’re someone who believes you should wait for your real wedding to commence.
He seriously considers proposing then and there, but decides against it. That is a moment reserved for a special time and place.
Not that you two aren’t seriously considering it now. Well, not like you weren’t before but anyway-
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Geo is reluctant to rock up to any wedding, the only ones he’ll even slightly consider going to are ones for his close friends and, of course, family. Somehow Jericho Ichabod was a close enough friend that he - and you - both agreed to show up for the event. 
And, well; he was - somehow (he still doesn’t get why) - requested to be the best man.
He was almightily horrified when he received this request, and accepted (albeit highly reluctantly). It’s not that he didn’t wish to support his friend, it’s more he has no clue what he’s doing and then realises he has to talk to random people he doesn’t know. 
You’ll be wearing the standard guest dress code - so you wear a somewhat fancy dress that both makes you look magnificent, but without causing any issues with other people (thank God). Geo had to wear a classic suit and he’s forced to style his hair - which deeply aggravates him, he doesn’t want random people touching his hair or him.
Either way, you both show up to the grand event - after all, Crowe is a wealthy man - and you two spend the evening getting through it as best as possible. He’s internally struggling to muster up a facade of caring about these strangers (and the noise is killing him), but he’s been in enough of these janky rich-people gatherings that he does an immaculate job. You are trying to serve as both emotional support (for Geo, Crowe, his spouse if you know them) while also enjoying yourself. 
However, after all the important things are out of the way, like the actual ceremony and the after-party begins (because of course there’s an after-party), that’s when some of your friends, like Brit and Deryl, find out from Crowe that people who wanna take fancier photos with their fiance(e)/partner are allowed to. So eventually, you convince Geo to join you for this opportunity.
You both are allowed to dress into traditional (or modern, whatever serves as your cup of tea) wedding attire and just get photographed.
So, after a while you both somehow select outfits (not because you’ve secretly been searching for wedding dresses noo you’d never), you two come out wearing spiffing clothing and get your photos taken.
Despite how quick the whole thing is, you two look spectacular - and oddly enough, Geo looks genuinely happy, he’s smiling. 
You guys get to keep the photos (if paparazzi don’t take them first because this is Subaru Oogami), and you hang a couple of your favourites around your shared home. Geo smuggles the rest away somewhere to add to his endless stockpile of photos he has of things he adores (90% minimum include you by this point).
It definitely serves as a catalyst for…future plans…to start being carefully planned. Not that the other isn’t doing the same thing. (dramatic much?)
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Deryl and yourself are excited af when Brittney and Jess decide to get legally married. The both of you are screaming when you find out, and you bet your asses you’re rocking up like the divas you are. You’re bringing the enthusiasm to this fucking wedding.
On the actual day, you both are hyping the girls up, reminding them that they look awesome and sexy and hot like the boss ladies they are. Dress code is pretty relaxed, just look formally presentable. He wears a suit - his one had to be custom made because this man is huge - and the two of you end up having a very philosophical discussion on how sad it is that men only wear suits to fancy occasions. They lack imagination, but alas, he complies. 
You on the other hand wear something pastel, like a baby blue or - if you’re the moody and brooding type - a dark red or purple. (can you tell I’ve never been to a wedding before)
During the actual event Deryl is resisting to vore the food (and yapping to Geo), you’re talking to Crowe and the girls are freaking out. As for the post-ceremonial celebrations the sapphics decide to drink a bit and give you two - and all the other couples that they like - a chance to just go ham and have their own sexy wedding photos.
You and Deryl are skeptical at first, but after getting permission from both of them (multiple times) you guys go ham. All your photos are so silly, but the joy that oozes from them is palpable. You guys are excited, not just for the newly-weds, but part of you both yearn for the day when a wedding will be unifying you two by law.
You guys keep the photos and frame a couple, deciding to keep them for memories’ sake. Deryl looks at the, fondly, despite his internal worries about when he’ll propose. It’s daunting, but…hey, he’s got friends and you; so everything’ll be okay. Just gotta be patient a bit longer…
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admirationandromantics · 2 days ago
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Fast Paced Introduction
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Here you go, another one!! Jesus Christ, the last two days in my inbox have been crazy, so please DON'T expect your stuff too soon, alright? Anyways, enjoy some more Chris, I think that's mainly what's in there, lol. Love him <3
Word count: 1,2k (Unedited)
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im gonna be annoying af in ur inbox too since u wanna BLAST MINE HAHA Chris with a reader who's like insanely into him at first sight and is like almost Mike levels of flirting after talking for 5 mins i feel like his brain would fry so fast ( its me i have autism and tell people things within an hour of meeting and have no issue being flat with people HA ) -@nerd-space
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“And this is Chris, who I’ve told you about” Emily introduces, and I look curiously up at the big blonde. His hair is messy, definitely not styled after he came out of the shower. A pretty smile spreads on his lips, as he lifts his arm, waiting for me to grab it. 
“Nice to meet you” he says, a little dimple on his right chin. Oh god, this man is gorgeous, and Emily didn’t lie about him being my type. His arms are big, probably really muscular under that sweater he’s wearing. I take his hand, making sure not to shake it too hard. His grip is firm, holding just a second too long for my conscience to pick up on it. His watch reflects a little light as he shifts, my eyes going straight to it. A decent one, silver. 
“Nice to meet you too, Emily didn’t mention you wore glasses” I say, immediately beating myself up. Glasses? What’s the point of that? 
“Oh, um, yeah I do” he gets kinda nervous, and I rush to save myself. 
“No, I mean, they look good, like really sexy and all of that. I mean to say that they look good on you, and she mentioned you, just not that and yeah” I babble, and Emily drags me away before I can continue. 
“Girl, I’ve never seen you like that” she smiles, an arm around my shoulders.  
“That’s because we party together, you only see the sexy and flirtatious me”
“Then get some alcohol into your blood, because if you talk like that again, I might have to leave you”
I gasp dramatically, hand going to my heart. 
“You wouldn’t” 
“Oh, but I would” 
The rest of the night goes better, Mike flirting with absolutely anyone, Matt and Ashley talking, and Sam hanging out with someone I’ve never seen before. My confidence is on top again, finally able to put that awkward episode behind me. It was just a small mistake, nothing wrong at all. Considering how hot he is, anyone could’ve made that mistake. It probably happens to him daily. 
He’s standing in a corner with Josh, who I’ve luckily met before, so starting a conversation wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. I walk over, keeping myself steady and lifting my boobs. Just a little. 
“Hey, Joshy!” I greet, and his arms immediately go around me. 
“Eyy, you came! Got a ride with Em, huh?” 
“That’s right” 
He turns to Chris, who has a small smile plastered on his lips. Oh, and he’s cute too. How many things were going to make me like him even more? Josh looks back and forth from us, and I turn my gaze to him. 
“Have you met?” 
“Yeah, Emily took the introduction” I explain, taking another sip of my drink. 
“She did pretty fine by herself as well” Chris laughs, meeting my eyes. Oh, and he is playful too? He’s got no idea what he’s gotten himself into. 
“Well, can’t help myself when he’s exactly my type” I comment, his cheeks reddening. Josh takes a small step back, looking over the blonde. 
“You know what, I hadn’t realised it before, but he is your type” 
“I know, right?” 
“So why aren’t you two in this corner alone, making something happen?” 
“Um, guys, I’m standing right here” Chris interrupts, hand behind his neck as he tries to form the words. 
“Oh, we’re aware” Josh laughs, nudging my arm and taking a few steps away. 
“Can I get you two anything to drink? A glass for the lady, a beer for my bro?” 
“Yes, please!” 
“I’ll be back in a bit!” 
I turn to Chris again, seeing that he’s put down the previous beer. It’s probably empty. I can’t help my stare, eyes going over his arms and fingers. 
“So” I begin, ripping myself from my trance. “How’s the night going?” 
“Well, pretty good so far, it’s a bit hot here though” he says, finger going to the hem of the neck, letting some air in. 
“You know, you could just take it off” I propose, making sure to add a slight suggestive tone. 
“Oh, I wish, but I don’t have anything underneath” 
“Even better” 
His eyes widen, and I realise the gravity of my words again. Wow, how this man makes me fail, I’m usually quite good with words. I give him my glass, which he holds, and start working on his arms. I drag his sweater up, noticing the muscles and veins popping as I do. He’s right, he’s very warm. His skin is burning up, making me want to take off my clothes and snuggle up to him. I do the same with his other arm, all whilst he holds my drink. 
“There you go, a bit better?” 
“Very much, yeah” he smiles, cheeks still bright pink. I think about the way I’ve been behaving, getting to touch and talk to him the way I have. I need to ask the essential question. 
“So, I should probably ask, do you have a girlfriend?” 
“I would have to say no” 
My eyes widen. He doesn’t? How hasn't this gorgeous man been caught yet? 
“What, how come?” 
“I guess it’s just not in the cards” 
“You’ve got to be kidding, right? You’re a hot piece of meat, I’m struggling keeping my clothes on where I stand right now” 
He laughs a little, hand coming up to cover his flushed face. I reach up, taking it away. 
“No, stop, don’t cover yourself. I love you looking like this” 
He stops laughing, our faces closing in as his eyes flutter. Oh gosh, he actually is the cutest man I’ve ever seen in my life. His mouth slightly opens as he’s closing in. 
“In the middle of all of this, I forgot to tell you how beautiful you are” he whispers, thumb caressing my cheek as we draw nearer. 
“Well, judging by how I see you, it bodies me well that you find me attractive” 
He takes hold of my waist, quickly turning us around and making my back slam into the wall. Before I can catch my breath, his lips are on mine, roughly caressing and eating. He knows how to kiss too? This man is a fidget of my imagination, I just know it. 
His hands wander to my waist, resting on my upper hips. I take hold of the back of his neck, nails carefully scratching, making him moan into the kiss. My other hand goes to his sweater, pulling him closer into me. 
“If you’re gonna go for it, get a room, don’t make everyone watch” Josh suddenly says. And we both turn our attention to him. He’s standing there like a lost dog, a couple of drinks in each hand. I take a breath, fixing my hair quickly and reaching over to grab mine. 
“Don’t worry Joshua, and thank you for the drink” 
“Um, yeah, we were just trying something” 
Josh smirks, eyebrows lowered in a sly manner as he leans back. 
“Yeah man, that’s why her lipstick is smeared across your lips and neck” Oh shit, I went for his neck and I didn’t even notice? Maybe I’ve had a couple too many of these. I look down on the red drink, some different liquids mixed. Oh, fuck it. I drink the whole thing in one go, before grabbing Chris’s hand and walking further down the hallway. He turns a little to give Josh a wave. 
“As I said, just trying something!”
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stupidlittlespirit · 2 days ago
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Can you give me more examples of Alex disliking Ford? I’ve always kinda felt it, but I never really had much of a real grasp on it.
Okay so this is the part where I look crazy because I can't give you specific examples LMAO but I'll try to explain what I mean. It's more in what he doesn't say than what he does.
Alex doesn't ever come right out and state 'I hate Ford', but he implies his distaste for him through his treatment of him. The way he hasn't gone harder/more explicit on drawing lines about Ford's abuse, or talking about how Ford suffered terribly during the time he was alone, for example. The way he blames Ford inherently for a lot of stuff that Ford, while not blameless, isn't fully at fault for. It's little things, and I'll detail them below.
TW below: Abuse, discussions of victimhood and irl consequences.
He extends more sympathy to other characters whereas Ford is sort of an afterthought. I don't actually think Alex has fleshed Ford out very well in his own head. Remember when he said that he didn't even know that Bill was going to be the main villain? They were flying by the seat of their pants for a lot of the series and it's quite clear in some elements. Obviously, the series is wonderful, I love it, it's one of my favourite shows of all time and Alex is a true talent, but it's obvious which characters are more important to him. He favours Bill a lot, too, so when his disliking of Ford/being ambivalent about him meets his enjoyment of Bill, only one of those dogs is coming out of the fight alive and it ain't Ford.
I think Alex is a genuine talent, I admire his work and his writing. He seems lovely. But I do also think he lacks in skill when it comes to complex abuse depictions.
I see a running theme that he isn't very good at portraying it specifically via 'unlikeable' characters. I mentioned on a previous post that he did this with Pacifica until people expressed empathy with her, and then he decided to round her out. He stated that himself during an old interview; I can't source it but I remember it vividly because it flagged red in my head that he couldn't see she was just a product of her environment. She's a twelve year old girl, for god's sake, she isn't 'just a horrible person', it makes a person sound like Bill when they beef with kids like that lol.
Another thing is in TBoB, there's a really horrendous page where Ford is tortured. It is visceral and awful, and tbh I wish I'd have been able to ask Alex what his top 5 horror movies were when I saw his talk because the scene is very reminiscent of a lot of my fav horrors.
But anyway, it is literal torture and it is also communicating about how helpless Ford is. He's a victim and a 'weak one' at that. Nothing he can do will stop Bill's abuse, he's stupid for trying, he's pathetic, he deserves it.
Now, that is a take I see with Ford a lot. He deserves it. He's asking for it. And it's a really upsetting one. It's also a common narrative told by people who blame victims for the abuse they suffered.
Not once have I ever seen Alex defend Ford. Not once have I ever heard him say 'Ford didn't deserve this', 'Ford suffered as much as Stan'. Not once.
Considering that he said he took 'inspiration' from his friend's 'toxic' relationships (I also think this is a strange and slightly perverse thing to do btw), I would have thought he might feel more strongly about pushing away this narrative about victims deserving their treatment.
I, obviously, also don't know for sure that he did take inspo from friends; he could well be describing his own experiences and just not feel comfortable saying so because men do suffer a different kind of stigma around being abused. That's fine, he doesn't have to out himself or anything, that would be horrible. But it's just the way he reacts to fans and speaks about the victim (Ford) that makes me think he's a bit more removed from this specific experience than it being personal.
There are many types of abuse. Ford's experience is familial, relationship-wise (platonic, because nothing about his relationship with Bill is romantic in the most basic sense of the term, if anything you can liken that side of things to sexual abuse) and personal. Ford then abuses himself as a reaction to outside abuse. Not his fault, again, but it does happen and it's a common thing for victims to do. I did.
Ford does nothing but suffer.
I truly don't believe that if you loved and cared for your character, you would be willing to watch your audience tear them apart like that after they had already been through so much and were not actually a villain themselves.
Especially if you had, or knew other people who had, experience with that kind of abuse. He doesn't let it happen to Stan, he came down hard on people when they did it to Dipper, and to Mabel, too.
It would kill me to let my OCs be bastardised like that by an audience and I'd be damned if I did a disservice to victims everywhere over something like this.
I think his lack of care is displayed in his treatment of Ford, as opposed to him outright saying he doesn't like him.
I also understand that this analysis also comes from a deeply personal point of view and my own experience with this topic, too.
This is a TV show, it isn't real and I don't need to take it so seriously, but what I do take seriously is seeing the real world reactions of other people. That does hurt. It hurts to see someone who is (very inelegantly and heavy-handedly, btw) depicted as a victim of abuse be laughed at and made into a joke, or flipped on their head and made to be romanticised with their abuser just to make a ship happen.
Fiction doesn't need to be taken seriously except when the lines begin to blur over into real life. We know people are cruel to irl victims and we can see where these lines blur quite obviously.
I think abuse and uncomfortable topics should be depicted, but I also think that as a creator, if you use them, you have a HUGE responsibility to teach and guide your audience into understanding why these things are bad/what makes them so. You shouldn't make jokes about the topic or encourage other people to go off the rails with it.
You can't control people, of course you can't, but you can hold their hand a bit and show them towards the light. If they choose not to follow it then they're probably not bright enough to pick up what you're putting down and that's on them, but you have to try.
Maybe if I hadn't (and my friends and other victims hadn't) been subjected to exactly the same reaction, we wouldn't feel so strongly about this, but it really does feel like a kick in the teeth to see a large number of people behave so grotesquely about abuse.
And just as an aside: I am a victim, I have been/am an unlikeable one, but it does not mean that I deserved what I got and that goes the same for every other 'unlikeable' victim out there.
*deep breath* but other than that I'm totally normal about Ford and not at all mentally ill :)
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kimmkitsuragi · 14 days ago
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beyonce please come to copenhagen please oooooh she wants to come to copenhagen so bad
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jrueships · 6 months ago
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zesty lowkey just another way for str8 ppl to say faggot / faggy and get away with it
#and im sick of letting them#cus why my lil nephew not even ten yet saying that and 'acting 'zesty' ' with his friends#i hate sounding like a boomer like i value the upside of technology#but u give humans / ANYONE rlly a chance to relax and a lot will turn it into laziness / neglect just because they can#like it's good to spread awareness but it's maybe likeeee. Not a good thing to spread statements/stereotypes with no further explanation#and peddle it to CHILDREN#whose comprehensions skills are. surprise. that of a CHILD'S#i say this ironically. btw#'oh im so mature for my age' no bro ure an immature HUMAN whos being forced to immaturely consider urself mature#due to the nature of ur relationships and homelife (or more-so the lack/negatives of them)#like it's ok to be a little stupid#as long as u keep trying to improve instead of just sitting in fault#or acting like they dont exist#anyways this got off topic but ya. crazy#kids have been killing each other n crazy shit like that but lately the crazy murder stories have HEAVILY leaned into#a misunderstanding of materialism#instead of just 'i wonder what it feels like' it's 'she took my ipad & also i wonder what it feels like'#like the first was already scary enough & now we've got this shit???#empathy is going thru a downside and we need to adjust the scales back!!!#im not gonna act like this is some new never seen b4 onset of fear impacting a generation after mine#bcs it's not never seen before in LIFE.. it's just never been seen b4 in UR life. which can feel like LIFE LIFE bcs like. uve only got one#that u may be cognizant of or etc religion aspect insert here. the point is. history repeats itself. but the points of history#can vary in visibility. some events get more notice than others bcs history's voice is ppl & actions & sometimes that gets erased#this isnt some bastardization point of one generation. but it IS a flaw that can show up in any gen (usually the oncoming ones)#bcs changes can be comfort & discomfort & the one u'd usually consider negative isnt always#anyways what im trying to say is. we need empathy back up period. always. we need empathy#lack of it is concerning. end of argument
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golmorehotgirl · 12 days ago
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Thinking again about how even though Tavi is basically at conversational level of fluency in Eorzean by EW she starts improving leaps and bounds when she becomes friends with Eren bc she trusts him enough to be vulnerable and make mistakes that he can correct and this goes for her reading Eorzean as well (something she’s very insecure about) and I just …..two people…growing from one another….
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solosatan · 1 month ago
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thinking about mc and satan bonding over shared identity issues post lilith reveal. i know this trope has been done to death but theres so much to do with it aghhhhhh
#op#om! satan#satan x mc#late night convos about how shitty it is to be seen as someone other than Yourself#dissecting what it means to owe your existence to someone and to have that relationship ripple out and effect ALL your other relationships#except for this one. except for the one person who really truly sees You and not just#'you' as a byproduct of your predecessor#the one person who shares a grimace with you across the table when a comment hits too close to home#and who validates and shares in your anger over it. considers it justified rather than an overreaction.#because satan's situation IS bullshit! they ARE weird about it to him! and i haaaaate hate hate the way it's treated as a joke#not necessarily him hating lucifer because that can be funny. and lucifer deserves it also#but his identity issues specifically re: lucifer are soooo valid and i hate when its treated as like#'hey wanna see a funny way to make satan Really Mad?'#anyways whatever i think the intimacy of having one person in the entire house who sees you for You is crazy awesome.#but also the insecurity! satan has vague memories of lilith via lucifer so like. mc wondering if even he's drawn to them because of that.#and like. of course he wouldnt SAY if he was but it still bugs them. and if he had known her properly... wouldnt things be different?#is their connection just luck on their part? that she died before he was born? and how awful does THAT feel?#and then lucifer is still ALIVE so satan constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.#for the one person he's ever felt really Got *him* to suddenly wake up one day seeing him the same way he (thinks) everyone else does#like mc at least had the CHANCE to be seen as an individual. satan's never had that so what the fuck is he supposed to think!!!!!#sorry for the Tags That Never End none of these thoughts are new but im rotating them in my head tonight
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dandyshucks · 10 months ago
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i get slightly annoyed when people make community posts that tell ppl to stop doing xyz and use the phrases "they're a FICTIONAL character, theyre NOT REAL" to justify whatever theyre saying because:
1) everyone knows that already, we're all aware these are blorbos from our media;
2) if someone is genuinely struggling to grasp that because of a delusion or similar, a forceful reality check is only going to cause harm rather than help;
3) it just feels so needlessly patronizing;
4) most of the time whatever I see people complaining about is either smth that I never see anyone doing or if it is smth somebody is doing then the block button is a very quick and effective fix for the issue (or even a quick convo w the person in DMs can resolve issues!)
(granted I keep my following circle very small and probably miss a lot but if i can do that then perhaps... perhaps other people can do it too fhfkdl like just prune back whatever u dont like seeing! unfollow or block as needed!)
#speaking as someone who has experienced and occasionally still experiences delusions!!!#reality checks do not help unless we ask for them directly! it's only going to make things worse if u force one on us!#also yes im aware of the hypocrisy of me making a post complaining abt things#but its often just this one phrase that i will see in otherwise decent posts that go around#and im not about to unfollow ppl just bc of this one phrase being used in a post or two that they might've rbed fhfjdl#also this is a niche thing to know about i think? like i dont think most ppl know a lot about delusions#.... as evidenced by ppl using delulu as a quirky meme word. god that one makes me tired and frustrated fjfkdl#but yeah normally i keep complaints and annoyances to myself but this one i figured might actually be helpful to talk about here#since i know theres probably a lot of ppl who have no idea that this is a thing that can actually make things worse rather than better#and like. theres bigger fish to fry i know that! this is a relatively small thing all things considered#but i feel like perhaps if i can make life a little easier for one other person who struggles w mental health then its worth it#if i can convince one person to be more mindful of their language to make the world slightly safer for fellow mentally ill folks then yay!#and i know the internet doesnt need to cater to us crazies but fhdkdl it'd be cool if ppl could just be a tad kinder or more thoughtful#again! not shaming or blaming and I'm not even upset w anyone#ppl genuinely just do not know abt this stuff unless a loved one or they themselves struggle w delusions or psychosis etc#and even then oftentimes its such a stigmatized topic that even ppl who struggle w it themselves might not know or realize it#anyways. climbing down off my soapbox like a kitten clumsily climbing off of a tall couch SBDJSKL#dandy.cmd
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rigels-nigels · 1 year ago
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Girl help I've acquired possibly yet another expensive hobby
#op#2 of them in fact#currently making a frame weaving loom (and by that i mean my dad idk enough about wood working and this wood is too expensive to fuck up)#and getting into mechanical keyboards#i already have a lotta yarn so the real costs rn are the keyboards#which are like at least 100usd a pop#what sucks is that they all seem to be 60% keyboards or tkl's and like. i need my fn and number pad keys pls and thx#debated sacrificing the num pad and getting a seperate one bc wowza these custom boards are absolutely gorgeous but#i am on such a budget and a cheap (cheap!!!) keyboard i found that i quite like is still gonna run me 200cad#if i got a pretty keeb and a seperate numpad i could easily be looking at $500+ like lordy#that's not even counting the switches i want to get (gateron baby kangs which are. $66. I'm assuming in usd bc it doesn't actually say)#anyway debating on whether or not i should order the keyboard now or wait till later cuz like is it even gonna be there later?#so much of this stuff is temporary and u never know#its a 96% keyboard and it has a calculator button!! only other board ive seen with that is my dads maybe 2005 wireless microsoft#so useful tbh#such a pretty board too all things considered#and finding a nice board like that with the numpad is not easy lemme tell ya like i was truly considering a ducky which.#i cant say im quite fond of their logo among other things#i think its more of a cream than white but u cant win em all#hmm to purchase now or to not purchase now‚ that is the question.... i could technically afford it but then#there's ComicCon + cost of supplies and whatnot for opening up my shop which is gonna be probably at least a hundred...#and then i would like to get some nice wool skirts for the winter/now bc pants are of the devil which is gonna be another 100/150 or so...#augh#i think the government should give me more money i think that would be very sexy of them to do#anyway can you believe i went on my phone to find a banana bread recipe then did all this instead? crazy#hashtag adhd life
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yourbestdream · 1 year ago
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I generally assume that the phrase "blood boiling" to describe anger is just metaphor and all that but then I get really genuinely angry about something and I remember that it is not.
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yourubersawcrit · 1 year ago
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God complex? I find him quite simple!
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mar-zom · 1 year ago
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sometimes i’m reminded that trauma can cause severe anxiety.
like i constantly wonder where this debilitating anxiety comes from and then i’m reminded “oh shit i have cPTSD, severe anxiety literally comes from the fact that i’ve been through hell on earth”
like, omg no way anxiety didn’t just sprout out of the concrete and slap me in the face because god hated me??? that’s insane
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ultimumvitae · 1 year ago
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me at first: wow i really love how shadow is written in idw! it's not perfect but it's so much better!
me watching shadow be turned into a zombot: oh
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jovalencia · 2 years ago
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not to be dramatic but I literally feel like I’m going insane lol
#first of all I must acknowledge the percy of it all. I don’t know how many of you are reading those posts and honestly I’m not conveying#how I feel very well but I’m so deadly serious when I say I feel sick when I think about those books and not even in a bad way necessarily#just nauseous whatever. second most pressing issue is the whole “am I going to drop out transfer suck it up or kill myself”#okay I’m really not considering that last one I have to live to see dani in july but I haven’t the slightest clue what I’m gonna do next#year. on one hand I hope this school explodes on the other transferring sounds so unfun but back to the first hand I hate this city#and I hope it explodes to and I have nobody I know to live with off campus next year and tbh I would rather die than live w sarah suitemate#which brings us to sarah suitemate. how in the hell is my only friend in this god forsaken city like kind of subtly homophobic#In addition to kind of being a bad fucking person. like lol! yes ladies six months deep with no other friends and I Am that desperate#also it’s the very beginning of the quarter and I kind of hate all my classes. okay I know they just started and it’s very early to judge#but I already feel like I’m going crazy I preferred my other two quarters where I was eating literally 12 credits I was satisfied with that#I’m just scared and lonely can I say that outright is it embarrassing to admit that outright at 11am on tumblr#the only thing that gives me comfort genuinely is just repeating that “everything works out in the end” saying bc I really do believe that#even though I hope my closest friend within a reasonable radius of me drops dead and I’m directionless and I want to kill myself#whenever I think about the book I’m reading it will all be okay#anyways time to eat the pastry I got from the campus market is not a good time to tell you guys I didn’t eat breakfast or could you tell#carmen.txt
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leatherbookmark · 5 days ago
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It's been hours... Let's say it took 1.5hours to charge the battery fully, and I started charging it almost exactly 6 hours ago... that leaves us with 3.5 hours, and I'm still on ~40%. MAGIC!
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neverendingford · 1 month ago
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#tag talk#learning language just makes my brain vibrate on just the right frequency#my goal for the rest of this year and the year coming is to get really good at Spanish#between Language Transfer (really fucking good go check it out thanks to my sibling recommending it to me) and then#then all the immersion I've been doing with music and TV#I feel like I stand a chance of getting genuinely good at it#I have this dream of knowing several other languages but I need to start by developing the skill with a language I'm already familiar with#and now I'm medicated I can finally push for like.. an actual goal and achievement#this feels like an extension of my obsession with communication.#which now that I think about it. a lot of things I love have a strong communication aspect to them.#music. fashion. art. they all communicate ideas.#that's even maybe what I like about porn. it's a work that's designed to communicate a very specific feeling and idea#and kink is an expression of power and trust. control and release. poetry.#do these tags read like the ramblings of a mad man? am I just throwing darts at a wall and connecting them with red string?#maybe I am crazy. but I'm not wrong. I'm autistic I'm incapable of believing I'm wrong.#is that joke in poor taste? probably.#anyway. I love communication and learning Spanish is my gateway to an entire world of ideas embedded in the structure of language itself#plus it would probably help my ability to keep up with my brother's dreams of traveling abroad#and I could help him learn languages cause I love teaching and he's not as hardwired for it as I am.#oh also I bought a vocabulary book to work through because language transfer is teaching me the grammar and structure#but I need vocabulary to back it up#I have a small work vocabulary I use with the customers who don't speak English very well. shit like “this. it works?”#but even like. idk. I'm really good at understanding people with difficult speech.#one resident at my nursing home had severe muscle degeneration and couldn't do much outside of vague flopping#but she would still try to speak and I got pretty good at understanding her and having conversations while feeding her.#she was in the navy and ate a bunch of neat food in Korea and she's the reason I finally watched Jaws for the first time#and like.. my ability to understand is what let her influence my life like that. I got to connect with another human being.#like. it's a gift that enhances my life and I want to choose to shape my life around this gift.#my love and obsession with communication is something I've had my whole life and if is something constant I need to consider it#so many other things in my life are shifting and uncertain. I want to chase the constant source of joy that's a part of who I am.
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