#anyway. crazy that i can even consider these things

[bitchinbarzal]

Marriage Pact | C Keller

summary: a marriage pact you made at 18 is now in play at 28.

-

The bar is loud, too loud. You hadn’t planned on coming, but then Clayton texted, saying he was in town for a game against the Bruins and wanted to grab a drink.

One drink turned into two, then three, and now you’re sitting in a booth with him, slightly buzzed, laughing at some old memory from college.

“I still can’t believe you fell into the Charles River,” Clayton chuckles, shaking his head.

You groan. ��It was an accident! And you were supposed to stop me.”

“I tried!” He grins, swirling the last of his beer. “But you were too busy yelling about how you ‘owned the night’ and then—splash!”

You swat at his arm, but you’re smiling. It’s easy with him. It’s always been easy.

And maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the nostalgia of being back in Boston together, but suddenly, you blurt out “Our marriage pact.”

Clayton pauses, beer halfway to his lips. “What?”

You lean back in the booth, your head spinning just a little. “You remember? The deal we made in college? If we weren’t married by 28, we’d just marry each other.”

His eyebrows lift in amusement. “Oh, I remember.” He takes a slow sip of his drink, watching you. “Didn’t think you did.”

You scoff. “Of course, I remember. You’re the one who takes pinky swears seriously.”

Clayton smirks, setting his glass down. “So… what? You bringing it up for fun, or are you actually considering it?”

You mean to laugh it off—to brush it aside as the alcohol talking. But the words are stuck in your throat, and instead of saying just kidding, you find yourself really thinking about it.

You let out a breath. “I mean… why not?”

Clayton blinks. “You’re serious?”

You run a hand through your hair, shrugging. “We’ve both been through enough bad relationships to know that dating sucks. We know each other better than anyone. And if we’re gonna end up married anyway, why waste time, right?”

There’s a beat of silence between you, and for the first time, you feel just the slightest bit nervous. Maybe you should have laughed it off.

Then Clayton leans forward, arms resting on the table, eyes locked on yours. “Okay.”

Your heart stutters. “Okay?”

He nods. “Let’s do it.”

Your stomach flips, and suddenly, this doesn’t feel like a joke anymore.

“Clayton.” You lower your voice, trying to keep yourself grounded. “We’re talking about marriage. Not some casual, let’s-see-what-happens kind of thing. Like, legally binding, ‘til death do us part, actual marriage.”

“I know.” He watches you carefully, his usual easygoing smirk replaced with something softer. “And I wouldn’t agree if I didn’t think it could work.”

You scoff. “How? We don’t even live in the same state.”

Clayton tilts his head. “And?”

“And I have a life here, a job, my friends—”

“I’m not asking you to drop everything and move to Utah tomorrow.” His voice is steady, calming. “We figure it out. Like we always do.”

You let out a slow breath. “But what if it doesn’t work? What if we ruin this?”

Clayton’s lips press together for a moment before he speaks. “Do you trust me?”

Your throat tightens. “Of course, I do.”

“Then trust me on this.” He leans in a little closer, his voice quieter now. “We already know how to be there for each other. We already know each other’s bad habits, our moods, our tells. You know I’m shit at texting, and I know you cry over dog adoption videos at 2 a.m. We don’t have to fake anything.”

You exhale, the weight of this settling into your chest. “This is insane.”

Clayton grins. “Probably.”

You shake your head, laughing under your breath. “You know, I always thought if this pact ever came up, it’d be some ridiculous, last-ditch effort in a Vegas chapel.”

“Is that what you want?” He smirks. “Because I can book us a flight right now.”

You roll your eyes, but the nervous flutter in your stomach won’t go away. Because as crazy as it sounds, it also makes sense. More sense than half the relationships you’ve been in.

You look at Clayton, at the way he’s watching you, waiting. And for once in your life, you stop overthinking.

“Alright,” you breathe out. “Let’s do it.”

Clayton’s grin widens, and just like that, your entire life shifts.

A week after that night in Boston, the reality of what you agreed to starts settling in.

You’re getting married.

It still sounds ridiculous every time you say it in your head.

The man you’ve called your best friend for ten years. The one who’s seen you at your absolute worst—drunk off your ass in a dive bar, crying over a bad breakup, or stress-eating an entire pizza after bombing a final in college.

The same man who texted you yesterday with:

I just told my mom. she screamed. In a good way, i think?

You don’t know what’s more nerve-wracking: the fact that this is actually happening or the fact that it doesn’t feel like a mistake.

You expect the cold feet, the second-guessing. But instead, when you picture your future with Clayton, it doesn’t feel scary. It feels right.

And that might be the craziest part of all.

“So, courthouse or actual wedding?” Clayton asks over FaceTime, propped up against what looks like a hotel pillow. He’s on the road with Utah, and his hair is still damp from a post-game shower.

You chew your lip. “I mean… a courthouse wedding is easier.”

He tilts his head. “Is that what you want?”

You hesitate. “I don’t know.”

Clayton watches you for a moment, then says, “If we’re gonna do this, let’s do it. The whole thing.”

Your stomach flips. “The whole thing?”

He shrugs. “Maybe not, like, a 200-person wedding with a cathedral and a million-dollar dress. But something real. Something that feels like us.”

You blink at him. “You want that?”

Clayton lets out a soft chuckle, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “Yeah, I do.”

The warmth in your chest expands.

You didn’t expect him to care. Didn’t expect him to want this to be anything more than a technicality. But the way he’s looking at you now, so sure—it makes you realize that he does.

Not just for convenience. Not just because of some dumb college pact.

He wants this with you.

Your stomach is a mess of nerves.

Not because you’re doubting your decision—because you aren’t—but because tomorrow, everything changes.

You’ll be married. Legally. Forever.

You’re pacing your hotel room when your phone rings.

Clayton.

You exhale before answering. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he says, voice softer than usual. “You good?”

You let out a breath. “Yeah. Just… a lot to think about.”

There’s a pause. Then, he asks “Are you freaking out?”

You hesitate. “A little.”

Another pause. Then the sound of movement, like he’s adjusting in bed. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

You sit down on the edge of the bed, running a hand through your hair. “I guess… I’m just trying to wrap my head around how we got here. A month ago, we were just two idiots in a bar. And now we’re getting married.”

Clayton is quiet for a moment before he says, “Do you think we’re making a mistake?”

The way he says it—carefully, hesitantly—tugs at something in your chest.

“No,” you say honestly. “Not even a little.”

He lets out a breath, like he was holding it.

You smile slightly. “Are you freaking out?”

He chuckles. “A little.”

You grin. “Good.”

A beat of silence, “You know I’m not doing this just to do it, right?” His voice is quieter now.

Your chest tightens. “I know.”

“I meant it, when I said I wanted this to be real.”

Your throat goes dry. You know what he’s saying. What he isn’t saying.

And for the first time, you let yourself really feel it.

This isn’t just a pact anymore. It never was.

You swallow. “Me too.”

A pause. Then, in the softest voice, Clayton murmurs, “See you at the altar, babe.”

You don’t know what it is about seeing Clayton at the end of the aisle that makes your breath catch.

Maybe it’s the way he looks at you, like you’re the only thing in the world.

Maybe it’s the quiet certainty in his eyes, the way he doesn’t look nervous at all—like this was always meant to happen.

Or maybe it’s the way you realize, all at once, that you’re already his. That you’ve always been his.

Your fingers tremble slightly as you take his hands, as the officiant speaks.

Then it’s time for vows.

Clayton squeezes your hands, eyes locked on yours.

“I know we always joke about how this started,” he says, voice steady. “How it was supposed to be a pact, a backup plan, just two best friends making life easier.” He exhales, shaking his head. “But the truth is, you were never a backup plan. You were never a last resort. You’ve always been it for me.”

Your heart stumbles.

Clayton smiles, something soft and unguarded. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but… I’ve loved you for a long time. Maybe since the day we made that pact, and I pretended it was all a joke so I wouldn’t have to admit how much I wanted it to be real.”

You suck in a sharp breath.

“I don’t know what our life is gonna look like,” he continues. “But I know I want it with you.” His thumb brushes over your knuckles, voice quieter now. “So, yeah. This might’ve started as a pact. But this is the easiest decision I’ve ever made.”

Your vision blurs with tears.

You barely hear yourself whisper, “I love you, too.”

The moment he kisses you, everything clicks into place.

And just like that, it’s real.

You expected some kind of emotional whiplash after the ceremony. But instead, lying in bed next to Clayton that night, wearing his t-shirt, his arm slung over your waist, all you feel is peace.

Clayton shifts, looking at you with a sleepy smile. “You good?”

You nod, tracing a circle on his chest. “More than good.”

He exhales, tightening his hold on you. “This is gonna be fun.”

You snort. “You sound too confident.”

He smirks. “Oh, I know I’m right.”

You roll your eyes, but when he kisses your forehead, your heart melts.

Because maybe it started as a pact.

But this was always meant to be.

[daenerys-apolog1st]

Just generally speaking, how the hell do people get “torture” from “sharply question” because I don’t see it.

1. Aemond is a prince, unless he did some crazy out-of-the-box Maegor type shit, no one is gonna be torturing him. However you feel about Viserys’ parenting, Aemond was his son and there’s no way he’d ever even entertain the idea of him being tortured---especially not for something that wasn't his fault.*

Rhaenyra knows this. She’s not stupid---she’s grown up watching Viserys get angry at Daemon, for shit he's ACTUALLY done, and never once bring up torture. So, frankly, if we're going with the theory that Rhaenyra meant torture and actually wanted it to happen, it'd be stupid as fuck for her to bring it up to VISERYS in PUBLIC when she knows damn well that he'd never consider it an option.

2. We literally SEE Viserys do as she asks in this scene! She gets what she wants after she says it!

And guess what? There’s no torture involved.

Viserys asks him who fed him the shit about Rhae's kids being bastards. Aemond then, trying to cover for Alicent, says that Aegon told him the rumors. Aegon, confused as fuck, says "what?" before Viserys asks him where HE heard it, to which Aegon simply says "look at them."

And then before anyone can apply some critical thinking and realize that it was obviously Alicent feeding this shit to them---which would result in her facing some kind of consequence because Viserys has told her multiple times to drop it---Alicent then makes a homophobic and demeaning comment towards Laenor, who is quite literally mourning the loss of his sister.

...

Idk about y'all, but I wouldn't consider asking a question torture, but that could just be me ig 🤷‍♀️

Should Viserys have asked Aemond about this shit the day he lost an eye? No, there was a time and a place to have that conversation, but it CLEARLY wasn't right then. Personally, I think that the whole situation would've been resolved a lot better if everyone had just went to bed, thought on it, and then decided what to do in the morning---but that's not what was done.

However, TG acting like Aemond being asked a question is the worst thing in the world is just fucking ridiculous---especially considering how people use this as "evidence" of Viserys being a bad parent** and then ignore Alicent's actions in the scene: slapping and yelling at Aegon for something that wasn't his fault, ignoring Aemond asking her to stop escalating things, and then making Aemond losing an eye all about her and what she's suffered. Instead of, y'know, the son that lost an eye.

And acting like Rhaenyra "clearly" didn't actually mean "questioned" when she said "questioned" is a fucking REACH.

Not to mention that: 3. even if Rhaenyra DID mean "torture" when she said "questioned" ...so what?

She only said it in RESPONSE to Alicent advocating for Luce's eye to be taken out, so it was very obviously just a defensive response meant to try and take the attention off of her son. She was just trying to protect him.

She also only says it ONCE and there is absolutely NO ACTION behind her words, if she actually wanted Aemond tortured you'd think she'd press the subject, but she doesn't---so clearly it's not actually something she wants. Meanwhile Alicent brings up the idea of Luce being maimed as revenge MULTIPLE TIMES and then GOES AFTER HIM WITH A KNIFE---despite everyone, again including AEMOND, telling her to stop.

...but you never hear TG criticize her for that, now do you?

Which brings up another point:

Alicent attacks a 5 year old with a knife and it's fine and even commendable because she's "protecting her children," but Rhaenyra says that her brother should be questioned and suddenly she's an evil terrible bitch who clearly wanted him to be tortured and die.

Like, do y'all not see the hypocrisy?

Anyways, Rhaenyra obviously did NOT mean "torture" and if she did I don't think it's this awful thing TG makes it out to be because she clearly didn't mean it and probably knew Viserys would never actually do anything.

*Despite what some people apparently assume about me, I don't think Aemond was at fault for Driftmark, just like I don't think the other kids were necessarily at fault either. They were all kids, they were gonna react like kids and act like they were raised to act. The main fault is on the adults that should've been watching the damn kids so they couldn't claim dragons and get in brawls and put themselves in dangerous situations.

**Oh no, Viserys didn't want to intentionally maim another child after his child was accidentally maimed, instead he wants to resolve things sensibly instead of blindly seeking revenge. What a terrible person. /s Viserys was a shit father to all of his kids, but this particular situation isn't an example of that---it's him, for once, making a good decision.

[dontwannaliv]

Midnight rant.

We live in a dystopia. The Hunger Games was hurling that brick at our fucking faces.

The hunger games is a brilliant social commentary on power and the human condition. Katniss lives in a world where a certain group of people get to live comfortable lives while the rest don't, an understatement. Majority of population is fucking starving and scared. Now, this isn't extremely far off from our world, but what really seperates the hunger games and reality is the actual games and districts. The fact that KIDS AND TEENS are forced to fight to the death in an arena while being filmed live for the entertainment of the people in the capital (absolutely insane and horrible). The fact that the population is divided into districts where they are literally used and abused because snow knows that they are not strong enough when vulnerable like that.

This is the distinct difference in Katniss's world and ours. I'm sure lots of people were thinking while reading or watching it that this horrific world could never EVER come to be, we wouldn't let that happen. And that's the brilliance of it all. Just because that particular senario wouldn't happen, doesn't mean that there are not a million other ones that are just as horrifying happening right now. We are so decensitized to the world around us that we don't see the literal "hunger games" people are living through right now. Poverty, starvation, homelessness, war, human trafficking, sexual assault, mental health crisis, climate change, etc. It's a fucking shit show. Some people may say that this is just the way the world is, that it's the human condition, just like how living through and surviving pain was the human condition for Katniss.

But that's exactly what I'm saying. We are completely decensitized. A lot of us recognize that horrible things happen to many people but we are forced to co-exist with that knowledge. Especially as young adults, because if we think about, really think about the world we live in, it would destroy any sense of hope.

I just think it's eerie that the hunger games isn't completely outlandish anymore. That it can even be considered and discussed as something more than a dystopian novel with a message. It's become a distorted mirror, a twisted reflection of our reality.

The millionares, celebrities and rich (white) upperclass get to sit pretty, untouched at the top. It's not as extreme as the people in the capital, but there is that distinct line of wealthy and non-wealthy. However, it's not as black and white as the hunger games, a lot of celebrities are good people and I'm not insulting them, I'm insulting the industry as a whole. The Met Gala is the closest we get to the capital. Crazy outfits and utter oblivion to the outside world.

The Marauders fucks with this idea too. Crimson Rivers? Absolutely genius. bizarrestars literally took all the best parts of hunger games and made it better. I owe them/him/her life.

Also, canonically there is a lot of themes extremely relevant today. When I say canonically I mean ATYD, leave me alone. There's jsut so much to unpack and I can't do it right now. This'll be 20 more fucking paragraphs.

Anyways, I love hunger games and the marauders, and we live in a complete and utter dystopia. Minus the romanticization of it all.

[vanishintoyou]

beyonce please come to copenhagen please oooooh she wants to come to copenhagen so bad

[xxplastic-cubexx]

now i aint ever had no one on the enemy team call me out.... lol ...... abysmal they say this right as the mvp screen pops up too.....

[jrueships]

zesty lowkey just another way for str8 ppl to say faggot / faggy and get away with it

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Terribly upset that I am willing to put so much love and effort into a relationship and people aren't willing to put in slightly more than the bare minimum for me

[golmorehotgirl]

Thinking again about how even though Tavi is basically at conversational level of fluency in Eorzean by EW she starts improving leaps and bounds when she becomes friends with Eren bc she trusts him enough to be vulnerable and make mistakes that he can correct and this goes for her reading Eorzean as well (something she’s very insecure about) and I just …..two people…growing from one another….

[solosatan]

thinking about mc and satan bonding over shared identity issues post lilith reveal. i know this trope has been done to death but theres so much to do with it aghhhhhh

[dandyshucks]

i get slightly annoyed when people make community posts that tell ppl to stop doing xyz and use the phrases "they're a FICTIONAL character, theyre NOT REAL" to justify whatever theyre saying because:

1) everyone knows that already, we're all aware these are blorbos from our media;

2) if someone is genuinely struggling to grasp that because of a delusion or similar, a forceful reality check is only going to cause harm rather than help;

3) it just feels so needlessly patronizing;

4) most of the time whatever I see people complaining about is either smth that I never see anyone doing or if it is smth somebody is doing then the block button is a very quick and effective fix for the issue (or even a quick convo w the person in DMs can resolve issues!)

(granted I keep my following circle very small and probably miss a lot but if i can do that then perhaps... perhaps other people can do it too fhfkdl like just prune back whatever u dont like seeing! unfollow or block as needed!)

[yourbestdream]

I generally assume that the phrase "blood boiling" to describe anger is just metaphor and all that but then I get really genuinely angry about something and I remember that it is not.

[yourubersawcrit]

God complex? I find him quite simple!

[perrizom]

sometimes i’m reminded that trauma can cause severe anxiety.

like i constantly wonder where this debilitating anxiety comes from and then i’m reminded “oh shit i have cPTSD, severe anxiety literally comes from the fact that i’ve been through hell on earth”

like, omg no way anxiety didn’t just sprout out of the concrete and slap me in the face because god hated me??? that’s insane

[ultimumvitae]

me at first: wow i really love how shadow is written in idw! it's not perfect but it's so much better!

me watching shadow be turned into a zombot: oh

[heartboreo]

[leatherbookmark]

It's been hours... Let's say it took 1.5hours to charge the battery fully, and I started charging it almost exactly 6 hours ago... that leaves us with 3.5 hours, and I'm still on ~40%. MAGIC!