#really i just miss being considered
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#really i just miss being considered#miss when people used to actually check on me#like yeah i was upset thanks for actually thinking about it and trying to make me feel better#or just like asking if im okay#like can we bring back caring#can we bring back talking to our friends#everybody has felt so distant and when i try to reach out its like talking to a brick wall#and i know yeah im overreacting#i always am#I CANT HELP IT#its such a curse to feel so strongly about things noone else gaf about until its too late#need to lock in and learn to tell people how i feel instead of posting it somewhere theyre not even going to see it#but i hashtag love venting#anyways haha i need to get back into playing a game thats not roblox#or papas freezeria#i want to play rain world again but i have no motivation to#i mean like someone sent me a mod for it so i guess thats something but like#do i just play expeditions or something#need to get back on call with him and be able to have a conversation with him without feeling awkward honestly#hai if ur reading this sorry im a yapper#i feel bad cause noones been playing on the minecraft server and like i also built a really cool house so like#i dont want that to go tomwaste#can i get a like counter on this post#gonna start stuttering over text now too#OKAY can someone organize like a fun thing for us to do because im getting crazy again#uhmm guys hashtag freak out episode or whatever#dont want to say manic cause im not bipolar#i miss jessa#im so scared for choir helpppp im nervous i forgot how scared i am of singing in front of other people#ok bye im at the tag limit help me
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do skully have pokemon?
Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.
(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)
#art#twisted wonderland#pokemon#poketwst#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(sorry for leaving anon off for a while! i've gotten a rash of spam and i'm gonna wait it out a couple days before turning it back on)#also apologies for the rest of this not really being pokemon related#i don't have anything right now for part 4 of the event so i'm gonna use this space to go off about it#because. oh man.#a sad lack of the scullsman but a FEAST of everyone else#gotta love malleus and leona uniting in the common goal of hunting trey down for trying to game their whiny pettiness#(trey doesn't know what to do with someone he can't easily distract with cake)#also further confirmation that malleus WILL kill a small child and leona WILL point and laugh the whole time#also sebek's plans revolving around what he knows he's good at: screaming extremely loudly and hoisting nerds#and let us not forget what i consider to be the crowning jewel#which is jamil figuring out IMMEDIATELY where scully has taken his prisoners#only for everyone else to just. literally refuse to do anything about it.#jamil just standing there and going 'WE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE! WE CAN JUST! GO GET THEM!!!! WHYYY AREN'T WE GOING'#visibly losing his entire mind and it's beautiful#top 10 twst event moments honestly#also some delightful character consistency from jade being all#'actually my dicking around is a sign of my immense trust in your abilities to get things done :)'#'but also consider: there are currently two housewardens chasing a child'#'alternately angrily screaming poetry and begging them not to sue'#'and if you will pardon my city of flowers...there is no fucking way i'm missing that'#lock shock and barrel did not sign up for this. how did these idiots turn out to be somehow weirder than the three of them.#twisted wonderland must be a frightening place indeed
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I'm not going back to Gusu with you.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Those last two high effort comics where just a warm up for this masterpiece. My true magnum opus.#I was originally going to do this gag as a 'alternate version of comic 155'#Then I realized that they have the 'Come back to Gusu with me' conversation twice. So here we are!#I did consider having WWX say 'I'm not going back to gusu with you' in the comic for the better plot accuracy.#I'm invoking the rule of silly by having Wei Wuxian read between the lines of 'Come back to Gusu with me'.#Because it does feel like a confession! It is a confession of 'I care about your safety and I worry for what may happen.'#It is also poorly articulated. You can't really blame WWX for reading into it as 'LWJ is just another person trying to control me.'#The relationship between them is not good! It is two parties who genuinely want to be closer with each other but cannot communicate it.#You can't really have what makes these two work so well as a dynamic without the past history of:#“Back then I really wanted to be your friend.” They are a *missed connection*!#WWX reaches out and LWJ rejects him. And now when LWJ reaches out it is WWX who pushes them apart.#It is a tragedy about the consequences of being out of tandem and realizing what you want far too late.#The momentum of WWX's downfall is far to fast to reverse now. It's a 'When' not ''if' question.#Back to your normal style of PD-MDZS next update. Thank you for reading!
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I would find it so funny if Bruce Wayne, who has an ironic and slightly ridiculous disdain for the occult, had to grapple with his kids' deep belief in the occult. For instance, if one of their siblings went missing with no leads, Bruce would insist on a new search strategy while the kids would be convinced they should at least consult a medium once to get proof of life. The medium would call out Batman for his shitty energy and Bruce would contemplate all the life decisions that led to this.
#Based on that delightful event when Agatha Christie went missing and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle consulted a psychic or something#Good work dude (you were a phenomenal case breaker and yet)#Like let's consider this#Dick Grayson worked with Raven for years and clearly has some supernatural/occult related beliefs and was a vampire (just go with it)#Jason was resurrected/has an affinity for Gotham's gargoyles and clearly one with Gotham's eldritchiness#Damian grew up in Nanda Parbat and probably learned loads about it#I can really only see Tim and Cass being particularly against it#Steph is likely ambivalent but amused by Bruce's reaction#(i don't know Tim that well do not come after me)#Babs knows too much to wholesale discount the occult#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfam headcanons
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Idk man the more I think about it the more I feel like the idea of Vax becoming not just de-orbed but brought back mortal is like, maybe the most simultaneously literal and figurative Monkey's Paw allusion one can get, on top of missing the core themes of every main campaign character Liam has played.
#unfortunately due to some prior missteps I'm not confident it WON'T happen but i think there's no way to do it WELL#anyway this is really about how being weird about vax's story is now just an instant block#at least if you do it on my posts#i considered responding but it really is just like nope bye I don't think you have anything I'll miss#cr tag#anyway i would respect twisted cordeceps inhuman vax coming back. *fleabag voice* this is a horror story
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Tapping on the glass of my enclosure what are your thoughts on sg megop/opmeg
YES YES YES YES YES 100% LOVE THEM THEY CAN HAVE SUCH AN INTERESTING DYNAMIC IN SG
Especially the areas where it can be similar/dissimilar to baseline megop
Fascinating to me
Also because I plain old especially like SG Optimus and Megatron as far as their personalities and their designs
(especially considering how SG Optimus is often depicted as worse than baseline Megatron, and considering the areas he Reflects baseline Megatron and the areas where he's similar/dissimilar to baseline Optimus)
#transformers#maccadam#especially considering how shattered glass often goes the extra mile with everything it does that baseline doesn't#an exmutual of mine used to complain about how sg fics were usually darker and edgier than baseline fics but I personally like it#there's just something scarier about when the autobots are the bad guys rather than the decepticons#and there are so many ways one can go when it comes to shattered glass#I recently read a sg tfone megop fic that fucking killed me btw#I missed an important zero while searching for bedtime fics and ended up reading all of it there and then#I like sg megop#I really enjoy shattered glass and seeing how similar/dissimilar familiar characters are#and there's just a certain joy in seeing *Optimus* being twisted into a monster#:3#🥺#sg optimus prime#sg megatron#megop
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I see there's posts floating around directly and blatantly arguing against mine (same wording) by completely misunderstanding what I said. I'm fucking BACK, babey. Should've bought some hay-scented fragrance while I was at Sephora today, because I am once again your strawman!
#yes Lucanis has been told what he's going to do with his life for his entire life and has not been able to make a lot of choices for himself#this has no bearing on how he has no moral issue with killing people for money#which is what I was saying: he has no moral issue with killing people for money and some of you are clearly uncomfortable with that#because you're bending over backward to insist that he does actually deep inside have an issue with being a contract killer#when it is INCREDIBLY clear and he discusses this multiple times that he does not have any issue with being paid to stab people to death#I can't even discuss other aspects of Lucanis because you're all so unwilling to accept the specific point I'm making#which is that the text makes it incredibly clear that Lucanis does not have any issue with being killer for hire#he has no issue with the “killing people as a profession that he engages in”#he flat out dismisses the idea that there is any moral issue to be had when Emmrich and Davrin ask him about it#you all want him to have a moral issue with the core premise of “killing people” because you struggle with the idea he does not have one#because you're all very convinced that if he chose for himself that he would choose to have an issue with murder#but he doesn't#when he engages in what you consider “making it more palpable” to him it is actually not related to the murder at all#in fact the things he does extra isn't even un-Crow-like necessarily—it's just making things more complicated and less efficient#by avoiding doing things that are not part of the contract and thus aren't necessary to do even if it would make it easier#it is still not an issue with performing murders for money!#I know I'm repeating myself a lot here but people really are doing Olympic floor gymnastics routines to avoid what I'm trying to say#which is that the text is very clear Lucanis does not have a moral issue with the part of his job where he is hired to kill people#(also to that refutation asserting that Lucanis's “enjoyment” is derived from going after objectively bad people#how did you miss the part where Lucanis HATES it when people say that when THEY kill it's Noble And Good only)#(Also his contracts are not strictly Venatori. He has a specialty but he very much states he has non-Venatori and non-mage contracts)#DATV things#anyway I should write a follow-up post
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sorry i cant be the only one who thought keefes comment about lady belva having a crush on him was a joke. like completely unserious untrue hes just saying that to sound cooler or whatever. please.
#i just!! think its being taken too literally!!#i think there was a scene where he had to dance with her in detention? but also#that could either be a “ok youre not paying attention so come show the class how its done” type thing#or a. she has to dance with someone to demonstrate and has probably danced with multiple other kids.#im just bringing it up bc ive seen it mentioned a lot lately and ive never considered it to be literal.#i havent read the books in a while so maybe theres a really damning quote i missed!#but for now i am a belva is probably not that bad truther#kotlc
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thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.
the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)
there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.
#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright#all things considered#it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit#both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away#but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part#and i find it so odd when people frame it as one#todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭#neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself#but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all#and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him#and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing#as far as todd’s concerned neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance#a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same#i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ +#‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN#todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims +#outside of neil but that isn’t really the case#and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person#he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree +#(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses +#there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other +#in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing)#this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me#mad#neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything#and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety#come on guys#dps#dead poets society#todd anderson
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cressida's storyline was genuinely shameful tbhhh it's like they started rewriting it in the first half of the season then completely forgot about the changes they'd made to make it fit the book plot and it just ends up making everyone else look bad😐 every character in the second half got a "penelope did nothing wrong" lobotomy so we ended up with eloise completely ignoring cressida being sold off to an horrible man (when she made every effort to support her in the first half of the season) and for some reason resenting her for pretending to be lady whistledown? Then they somehow frame her ignoring colin's offensively bad pleas as it being her turning away from redemption when all she's trying to do is escape being trapped in the country with her likely abusive aunt... and it ends with her meeting her horrible fate and it still being framed as tragic only to immediately juxtapose it with the bridgerton family winning the idgaf war while gleefully seeing off francesca and her future dead husband. The bridgertons were the villains of the season frfr
#bridgerton#almost as bad as marina's plot in season one. every horrible decision in this show revolves around penelope meeting no consequences ever#this is not an anti post or anything idc about the fandom ill forget about this show tomorrow but i need to get this off my chest#they had to give penelope a fairy tale ending WHICH IS FINE but they somehow did it by surgically removing everyone's personality#INCLUDING HERS#benedict's bi storyline was bad also im sorry. paul literally has like 4 lines of dialogue and he was really cool#i love tilley but she should have been cut😭 if they wanted to establish he was bi (given we know theyre not genderbending sophie)#they should have made the whole subplot about him being attracted to a man instead of a 5 minute footnote in the last episode#i liked francesca and her husband whose name idr but it felt like they were framing it as him not being her 'great love'#considering what happens to him i fjnd it childish and meanspirited soul mates aren't real and he deserves a lttl respect considering.. lmao#what else. the dialogues were horrible. especially the ones between penelope and colin in the second part im sorry#they need to fire the make up and hair department. every reference to queen charlotte felt like a wahh pls watch my show ad#i miss anthony they should change the books to make him the villain of every season bb please come back to ruin your sibilings relationships#portia and philippa were peak as always. violet deserves her own season. we need to put eloise out of her misery pls leave her in scotland#rant overrr#publishing it on my sideblog actually i feel like im gonna lose followers just for having watched this show lmaoo
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finished hazbin hotel and what the fuck it's actually kind of??? good???
#random thoughts#i like it at least#the finale is SO GOOOOOOOD OH MY GOD#sir pentious going to heaven? alastor's solo? LILITH DROP???#like there are A LOT of things that could have been done better#like how vaggie as a character is very one-note and how angel's abuse is handled could DEFINITELY be better#especially considering how they handle pentious's gang rape (like tf)#but to be fair that joke was more a play on pentious's cowardice. the joke was more about how him bowing out of flirting escalated#rule of three's and all that#but god. when adam's mask cracked it DEFINITELY made me realize i thought that was just his face#'you only live because i let you' is such a petty way to phrase mercy#i DEFINITELY need to watch some analysis videos because am i missing stuff??? is it secretly bad???#yknow besides all the stuff with the creator which like. idr everything she did that was a shitshow#but like even the rape jokes are pretty mild for an adult comedy? they got rid of most of the offensive jokes pretty fast huh#most adult cartoons the first season or so is dedicated to the most offensive jokes before The Plot takes over#vaggie being an angel btw. not sure how to feel about that#i like how they handled it because it leans into the whole 'redemption' theming but like. feels very 'we need a conflict!'#which like i do appreciate because vaggie and charlie's relationship is too smooth sailing. throw some rocks in there#also 'i named you after the best thing: vaginas' is. hilarious actually. was that planned? or was that retconned in?#sir pentious as a character wasn't really. there enough in the latter half of the season for me to really feel anything about his death#like i liked him! very pathetic man. love his character design. but i think they should have alternated episodes#instead of just making the first few all about him#also his death was too sudden for me to feel particularly bad about. was convinced it was a fake out death#LOVE the ship callback tho. love me some chekhov's gun#btw i knew. literally nothing about hazbin hotel going into this. was watching the pilot like 'wait is this a musical'#bitsy. thingy. whatever her name is. fucking love her. PLEASE give her more knives.#fucking LOVE lucifer are you kidding? all that set-up for him to be a typical adult cartoon neglectful father and he's???#he fucking LOVES charlie holy shit. someone get this man some better communication skills stat#also? love his design. the prevalence of white really makes you remember he was the light bringer#hell
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reblog to gently feed him a cheese puff out of the palm of your hand
#scribbles#bungou stray dogs#bsd#goncharov bsd#ivan goncharov bsd#ivan bsd#ivan goncharov#blood#head trauma#gore#hes my fav minor character of choice#i love characters who have fucked up brains. the dominus fan says#i have a highly specific vision of after the cannibalism arc goncharov is taken to some government ability hospital-prison#because i think something a lot of ppl miss with him - or rather what compels me to him - is his mental vulnerability and lack of autonomy#whatever fyodor did to his brain? FUCKED UP!! i honestly just feel Bad for goncharov more than anything else#im rly not a fan of the whole shippingbrained take that hes just another like. villain yaoi guy you can ship with fyodor#when his circumstances of like. all things considered being completely unable to think properly much less consent#make him waay more dubious to ship with than like. idk shibusawa or whoever#i love goncharov tho hes really intriguing. ik he just kinda exists for shock value and a fight scene and making fyodor scarier#BUT i like him:] and people have been obsessed with characters for less so i get him#he gets a pov scene in a fic im writing with my friend dark and im excited to get to share that
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I don't hate my job or anything, but man, being a float educator is so fucking thankless
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)
aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao
(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)
#myrna is actually really proud of him for pushing through and becoming a very fine member of the mourn watch#(and a good man)#but she is also. well. myrna. so she has never expressed as much to him. (she thought it went without saying. it did not!)#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#neve gallus#considering how satisfying the Arc with davrin has been I hope this can liven up neve and rye's interactions for me!#also very interesting and fitting b/c davrin will come for you where you live and go 'and hey btw ANOTHER THING --' no bullshit#which rye finds SO annoying but is probably why their relationship has grown so deep so quickly b/c davrin won't let him avoid him#while neve is ironically a lot more like him and it means they have a much harder time reaching each other b/c they're both so watchful#and guarded. they vibed so hard in the beginning it was all neve approves all the times b/c they have similar instincts. and now look at us#we live in the same house and politely pretend the other one doesn't exist. we're making ghosts out of each other!!!#explaining why he's semi-avoiding her. he thinks he's being thoughtful in giving her her space but uh. well.#perhaps more flight behaviour in that than he's willing to gaze at directly haha#rye looks at lucanis claiming he's a mess and goes 'oh buddy you should've seen me the first day in a year I was fully sober#and working on that fucking orb with head pounding and eyeliner running. even like this you're one of the tidiest#and most disciplined people I've ever met. you're literally fine.'#the reason the romance is so slow is not even mostly on lucanis I think rye is the slower to truly open up one in that dynamic lol#hey. I love rook. I love him so much. my trying his best underachieving babyboy who killed god when he got it together#I suspect this is going to be a situation where I've planned multiple other playthroughs#that will inevitably be hampered by '...but where is rye tho. I wish rye was here. does anyone else miss rye' lmao#for reference I've finished DA:O at least 4 times. and all four of them was sophia amell doing exactly the same things. I have a Pattern lo#a pattern I have only really broken in da:i where I have three inquisitors I care about sort of equally (adaar is my fave#but I have fondness for them all)#hawke I basically play as always the same person just AUs of him haha. what if he was a mage instead and it was somehow even sadder#that sort of thing
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sending comfort to you and your partner. i remember reading that your partner's father wasn't a great person, but the passing of a parent always affects people on some level. I hope things slow/calm down for you both.
Thank you so much! And.... Yeah, truthfully, he (is? Was? Not sure about the tense) a terrible person. He did get physically abusive with my partner, and I was too scared of him to even look him in the eyes.
We thought that part of his aggression was related to his alcoholism, but in his last lucid conversation with my partner, after almost a month sober, he pretty much showed that his malice was not even motivated by it. Which... Well, it does trouble my partner, bc they remember him being kinder when they were younger, but all that's left is awful memories.
I think they will struggle a lot with the grief of mourning someone who maybe was once a proper parent but who they've now grown to hate. We're also worried for logistics, what to do with the mother (also a piece of work), or even how to... Balance a funeral when we have a con this weekend. Its a whole bunch of work 😅
#Tw abuse#tw alcohol#Tw vent#I sometimes consider myself lucky for having really streamlined feelings about my parents. I loved my dad and I miss him dearly#I... Won't be grieving once my mother kicks the bucket#But my partner struggles with all them complex feelings about it and uhh#Also a lifetime of normalising being abused I guess ckghck it's harder to hold someone accountable if you've been taught to stomach abuse#Sorry for the vent#I think I just needed to let this out
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