#which is what I was saying: he has no moral issue with killing people for money and some of you are clearly uncomfortable with that

[wardensantoineandevka]

I see there's posts floating around directly and blatantly arguing against mine (same wording) by completely misunderstanding what I said. I'm fucking BACK, babey. Should've bought some hay-scented fragrance while I was at Sephora today, because I am once again your strawman!

[ephemeralinstance]

The Veil and the Ad Hominem Fallacy

While there are many things I love about Veilguard, the way the Veil was dealt with was definitely a weak point. We know the devs were worried that people sympathized too much with Solas' goals; hence the choice to have him kill Varric. But I think this demonstrates a misunderstanding of the reasons why people liked and sympathized with Solas.

In previous games, we were shown that the Veil has consistently harmed spirits, mages, and (arguably) elves - three groups who are systematically oppressed and/or have their personhood erased in Thedas. And in Inquisition, Solas was the only person who stood up for spirits, and among one of the most vocal supporters of mage freedom; he was also (albeit inconsistently) critical of the ways elves have been treated throughout Thedosian history. So people who sympathized with those three groups were naturally inclined to have at least some sympathy both for him personally and for his plans regarding the Veil (of course pending further details, since Trespasser was pretty vague about this). It's not the case that people agreed with him blindly because they liked him or because they romanced him; they liked him because they agreed with him, at least about the harms the Veil was inflicting on vulnerable groups. The use of Cyrian as a metaphor is also telling here. Anaris is clearly intended a parody of Solas, and so the mask which makes Cyrian feels Anaris' emotions seems to be intended as a critique of people who sympathize with ancient elven gods due to empathizing too much with them. But again, this is a misunderstanding. People didn't sympathize with Solas' goals just because they think he's tragic, they sympathized for actual reasons based on the canonical evidence for the Veil doing harm.

Having Solas kill Varric was therefore not a good way of addressing this issue, because Solas' personal character and methods are completely irrelevant to the question of whether the Veil should come down or not. The same goes for showing that Solas is largely motivated by regret, or that he often gets his plans wrong - all of this is a classic ad hominem fallacy. Perhaps these things might serve to convince us that it is not a good idea for Solas to take down the Veil by himself, but none of it is relevant to the question of whether the Veil should in fact come down.

The right way to address this issue would have been to actually address the arguments for it! Allow Solas to articulate the fact that the Veil harms spirits, mages and (perhaps) elves. Allow him to tell us what he believes Thedas would look like after the Veil came down. Allow Rook to discuss Solas' claims with knowledgeable people like Emmrich and Morrigan, and assess their validity. Perhaps even allow Rook to talk with the Mourn Watch, the Veil Jumpers and so on about other possible ways to mitigate the harms that the Veil does. Give Rook a chance to convince Solas himself that there are other options!

I'm not saying that the Veil should have come down. There's no canonical answer to the question of whether that would have been a good outcome, since we got no concrete details at all on what Thedas might look like if it did. Nor do I necessarily think that would have been a better story. But I do think the game we actually got would have been strengthened if they'd trusted players a bit more and allowed us to explicitly contemplate the morality of the Veil, and to seek alternative ways of solving the problems it causes.

[scliffe]

I know most of us (including me) laughed (quite a lot) on this scene because; Earl Ciel “Sebastian-Kill-Them-All” Phantomhive of all people, is saying something like this about killing people? It sounds so fake and ridiculous right? Hypocritical, even. But I also think it’s rather empathetic of Ciel to say this in front of the Weston boys because he understands that these boys did not murder out of evil intent; it was a crime of passion, not premeditated. I’m sure that in Ciel’s eyes, these upperclassmen of his are still much more innocent than he is—and so when he speaks to them, he is speaking to “normal people”, not serial murderers. But while Ciel does not see the prefects as evil people, he doesn’t infantilize them either. He does not empathize with them trying to justify their actions; because things like school values or reputation is not a worthy cause for these boys to kill someone over. At the same time Ciel may not personally care about the lives of Derrick Arden and the others, but he does not think students should turn into murderers over such menial issues.

In comparison, when he speaks to Joker in BOC, he was unfiltered and candid—he’s speaking of something he personally believes; that deep cynicism and distrust in humanity. Unlike the Weston students, Joker’s actions were premeditated; he planned to kidnap children—knowing they would be abused and turned into some sick plaything before brutally murdered—and methodically eliminated witnesses to avoid getting caught. Joker knew exactly what he was doing when he organized these crimes to sacrifice others for his family’s lives. And yet the way Ciel spoke, he wasn’t passing judgement on Joker at all; he acutely understood the despair of facing injustice with no one lending a helping hand; the desperate wish to protect one’s family and loved ones above what’s considered to be morally correct by society; he knows better than anyone else how hell is paved with good intentions. This too, was incredibly empathetic in a strange way that only Ciel could be. Although Joker lamented their fate as abandoned orphans living in an apathetic society, Ciel does not pity them and thus did not simply reduce them to gullible victims of their circumstances. He did not justify Joker’s actions, and he did not justify his own actions in killing Joker and the circus crew either—he was incredibly self aware and fair; equally as ruthless to other people as with himself. He understood that everyone acted in their own interests. By removing complicated principles of morality out of the equation, he is able to see things clearly and act decisively without ridiculous notions of human morality. After all, what use does he have for it when his soul is already damned anyway?

Ciel keeps away from people and refrains from making personal attachments; and yet he is still very empathetic to each of them without even meaning to. In the flashbacks, he was also depicted to be a sensitive and kindhearted child. Despite everything he has gone through, he still retains a bit of that gentleness and sincerity from his childhood; which I think comes with being naturally emotionally intelligent—he has an unusually acute insight on people which certainly helps his business acumen, and ironically also helps him know how to lie and act in front of other people. While Sebastian is a “master of understanding human desires”, Ciel understands the complexity and most basic nature of humanity better than anyone else; which forms both his cynicism and his own brand of empathy.

[shizunitis]

How do you think Shen Qingqiu would be affected if he had Xin Mo?

holy fuck i've been thinking about this for months and now that i've been asked i'm kind of lost. anon i love you prepare for a whole lotta yapping

the question is vague enough to both give me room to fuck around and to not know what to focus on. so i'll go with trying to figure out what the chain of events would be, mostly. i'm very sleepy though. that should be taken into consideration.

xin mo uses its masters' trauma and psychological issues against them. which means we just have to take shen qingqiu's issues and ramp them up enough to see what that would do to him. how that change would present itself is highly dependent on how he comes upon xin mo, as well.

first off, what does he want? shen qingqiu wants, in no particular order: to survive, to have luo binghe by his side and safe, and to protect his sect from a wrathful luo binghe.

he dislikes violence but doesn't shy away from it when it's expected of him to be unmoved by it. he's a deeply curious person and likes theorising, cultivation, and feeling powerful and respected. he thinks of himself as a "faker" but is proud of his moral stances, especially when they differ from the original goods'.

his biggest frustration throughout the novel is the fact that he cannot protect luo binghe from the plot and all the suffering that would bring him, and that he is under the control of something so opposed to his own goals as the system.

let's say shen qingqiu were to fall into the abyss and find xin mo himself, and therefore the system's control of him would be weakened, as it was when binghe was down there. this would mean he didn't betray binghe, maybe even took his place. this has to happen because he figures out the system is his biggest obstacle, before he gets to xin mo, or else my whole thing falls apart. maybe shang qinghua plays a part in this, maybe not.

it doesn't matter much how, but if he doesn't come to this realisation at some point, he would not place his target on the system, nor would he get the courage to try to change things according to his own wishes.

so. abyss -> revenge on the system -> find xin mo -> cultivate with it -> get out of the abyss.

first off, the sect wouldn't stand for him using a clearly harmful (to both himself and the world around him) demonic sword, or any sort of demonic cultivation at all, so he'd have to hide it if he were to make his way back. paranoia and fear would probably change him into an overprotective person, someone who slowly becomes less careful about what he has to do in order to protect his people, especially when we factor in how he'd had to, for years, live under the control and supervision of the system.

there is also the problem of getting close to the protagonist again. if he were to make contact, the system would re-activate, and his attempt to kill it would be useless.

he'd draw himself away from the people he cares about so he could watch over them. he would study and try to use the sword to change things in his favour, with the right incentive. the harm brought to his cultivation by the sword would probably force him to become more secretive so he isn't discovered.

he would probably seclude himself away from cang qiong, binghe and most of the world. whether he goes into the demon realm or not doesn't matter. he would rely on only himself, unless he can get shang qinghua involved in his plans. i imagine shang qinghua would be opposed to it, not only because the system would be against it, but because shen qingqiu's death or pain would spell his own destruction (by luo binghe's hand) if he didn't try to stop it.

the threat of huan hua palace and people discovering binghe's true nature would probably allow for the sword to take advantage of him more and more as he uses it to fight against them. i don't think the opm would not go after luo binghe, especially with shen qingqiu out of the picture, so i'm imagining the old fuck would offer luo binghe some sort of help just to get him close. shen qingqiu wouldn't stand for it, and we know that as he gets more desperate, shen qingqiu tends toward pragmatism. he would do what needs to get done, i guess.

"stuck between a rock and a hard place" pretty much describes shen qingqiu in svsss. having that not be the system's fault, for once, would probably push him to the edge enough that he does something extremely stupid and turns the entire cultivation world against him in an attempt to protect binghe from the opm's influence.

i don't think he would go too far, outwardly. he would probably bring more harm unto himself with xin mo than binghe had, and would probably suffer more than anyone else involved. him being so tight-lipped about his own motivations would get him scorned and named a traitor to the human realm. he'd have shen jiu's reputation post-trial, maybe. he would become colder, lifeless, honed-in on his goals.

this was an extremely long-winded way of saying that shen yuan, corrupted by xin mo, would become a husk of his former self. i imagine a moment where he tries to be warm again, that whole fond teacher shtick, and would find himself horrified at how much of an act that is now, rather than acting cold and heartless. i think he'd have turned his caring into caring too much to the point of leaving himself behind.

i had a wip of shen yuan transmigrating into luo binghe and having to lean into xin mo's influence so that he could get luo binghe reinstated into his own body that i put on the shelf at some point. he ended up baiting people into trying to assassinate him, and used their sacrifice as a way to power some sort of revival technique.

shen yuan needs plausible deniability for every action he does, especially ones he sees as morally reprehensible. so. add that to the whole thing above and that's the bulk of it, i think. maybe. god please tell me i make sense i need a shizun headpat

[lizzybeeee]

Personal take: One of the weirdest things Veilguard did, outright baffling, in fact, is how it feels like they reset the status quo of the world to Origins - even further back, if anything.

The game avoids (at all costs) meaningfully delving into exploring what these events/lore reveals mean to the world and characters at large. But the entire time I was thinking: holy shit this is bad.

What happens in game has very, very bad implications for the rest of Thedas and how they're going to look at groups like the Elves and Mages. I'm looking at this from the perspective of someone whose played all three previous games, not from the perspective of datv which really brushes over all moral complexity and sociopolitical issues. Of course, it's just my interpretation but its based off what happened in previous games.

Elves

The Elvish Gods of legend came back, blighted, and ended up wiping out the majority of the South - I find it hard to believe that the elves would not be 'roped in' as being responsible somehow.

Elves could sneeze in a previous game and people would blame them for causing a plague and purge the alienage -> life is shit for an elf and the events of datv would have absolutely made life a thousand times worse.

Would there be purges of alienages? Are there groups like the chavaliers or mobs of humans going about an killing elves because 'It's your Gods. It's your fault.'

Obviously, it isn't. But there are plenty of examples in Thedas' history of people acting rashly/cruelly out of terror and anger - and it's the most vulnerable people, like the Elves and Mages, who are targeted.

The Dalish Elves, what remains of them, would likely be perceived as 'Blight/Old God worshipers' - people would chase them off for the 'crime' of living too close to them in the woods in DAO.

Terrified, angry people would not care if the Dalish said they had nothing to do with what's happening - there would be bloodshed.

If anything improved for the elves from the time of Origins -> Mahariel, Tabris, Lavellan, or Briala...it's likely back to ground one as the best possible outcome, and closer to the Exalted March on the Dales at it's worst.

Mages

Mages could, potentially, have been living a life of unprecedented acceptance if Leliana was Divine -> along come the Evanuris, mages, who are allied with the Venatori who are causing devastation in Orlais and the Free Marches specifically.

Missive - Message from the Front -> The Tide Turns "The Venatori and the Orlesian royal armies clash daily in Orlais. Val Royeaux is now under control of the rebels, and from there the Venatori launch attacks as far east as Kirkwall."

The original magisters (evanuris) wielding the Blight and Old Gods 2.0 x2.

Any templars who remained, who had the old mindset and outlook of how mages should be treated, absolutely would be pointing at the venatori and saying "we warned you what would happen without the Order."

Normal people wouldn't give a shit that it's only a 'few' mages -> their entire home is gone, their families are dead, and the people responsible are wielding magic.

Fear of magic would likely be at an all time high - If the Order doesn't exist people would likely be demanding for them to come back.

The mages - whatever goodwill they earned - are likely being faced with suspicion and terror because this is proof of what magic can do in the hands of power-hungry douchebags.

Maybe they help to fight and people don't get so suspicious of them - who knows! This game doesn't want to address the previous games so it's in limbo.

Spirits

Other people have done great posts about how the spirits were completely tossed aside in this game. Three games worth of humanizing spirits, with Justice and Cole, only to go back on it with Solas reinforcing the Veil and...maintaining the status quo?

He so earnestly discussed with us his perspective on spirits and how they're just as 'real' as those on this side of the Veil - we saw it with Cole firsthand. But I guess they can all chill in the Fade till Solas dies or whatever.

I'd argue that the elves and mages are in an even worse position than they were in Origins. It's just not fulfilling, to me at least, to see the World I got so invested in just regress to the status quo after three games of challenging it. For it to not be meaningfully discussed or spoken about in-game, just brushed aside...I may not have liked the decision to do this but it could have been interesting (at least) if they actually discussed it.

Also, people don't just 'band together' because of the Blight - Origins showed us very well that in times of strife and pressure peoples petty/deeply ingrained beliefs, prejudices, and values come to the forefront. Alistair's comment about “You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together" -> was him being snarky about how everybody as Ostagar was on the verge of throwing hands with each other. They were united in cause not in belief - the cause being to eradicate the darkspawn.

It's just so grim, and with how they handled sociopolitical issues and moral complexity in datv (not at all) I have no hope that they'll be able to address this at all, if they even bother to and don't just...ignore it, I guess.

Maybe this is what the devs meant when they said that the 'tone' was similar to Origins - just straight up erasing whatever strides was made in the previous games and setting it back to square one lmao

[varpusvaras]

Winnick will come this close to writing a good, rightfullly angry character with BPD/CPTSD and ruin it by making him his conception of "a dangerous psychopath" because dc's understanding of mental illness begins and ends with the joker.

I like that Jason was angry i'm not gonna lie I enjoy the "bad victim who doesn't accept that they were a necessary sacrifice, who doesn't think what happened to them is something they should be expected to tolerate, like fuck your greater good, you weren't there, it isn't worth this." I think even looking at Jason's past before getting adopted he has reason to be angry, like he is poor af and starving and he had to take care of his mom and his dad is in jail because he couldn't see another way to provide and he gets trafficked -he has so many reasons to be angry. And he's not, and I love jaybin, but I think there are so many ways and things he can be angry about without it feeling classist. And I love that he can't emotionally regulate, that he has so clearly BPD/CPTSD because why the fuck would he not, have you seen his life (and that's not even counting the csa hc, which i am because willfully and consistently implying csa and then not addressing it/denying it feels like feeding into a culture of taboo that ruins lives and getting away with covert victim-blaming at the same time). The issue is that they lack finesse or any kind of understanding of anger. The think anger is a personality trait. They think angry = evil. They think being angry means you're violent at and about everything, that you shoot indiscriminately even though you've known better since you were a kid, that you're suddenly treating women like shit (which, wtf seriously) which okay maybe THEY treat women shitty for no reason when they're angry, but that'd be more of a them problem I'd say. Their portrayal of anger is classist because their conception of emotions hasn't evolved since fucking Descartes. Think anger = bad = poor and not only doesn't it occur to them that this is classist, they so instinctively assign moral value to the concepts of poor and angry that they don't realise it and just conceptualise poor=angry and end up with incredibly classist portrayals of anger. You can write characters that are mentally ill and violent without being ableist, you can write characters that are poor and angry without being classist, but that requires a level of respect for people, introspection, humility willingness to learn about the sensitive topics you are exploring that is simply not accessible to Winnick and so many other dc writers.

And here comes my very hot take that I'm too cowardly to say off anon: the pit shouldn't have healed Jason's malnutrition. Like, outside of canon I love big jay, I love big men who are emotionally vulnerable and need comfort etc. but in canon? It just comes off as another way to adultify Jason, and make the horrible things that happen to him acceptable. Jason "sleeping with Talia because he is fucked up about Bruce" because they both look like adults until you realise this is actually just rape and you can't put any responsibility of Talia taking advantage of the kid under her care (very ooc of course) on the child himself. Jason fighting Mia looking like a 40 years old beating up a teenage girl when they're the same damn age. Fucking Ethiopia 2.0. And Jason's murders as well, for the matter. Like don't get me wrong the duffle bag of doom is an iconic villain move, but it's just that: a massive shock effect and a "psychopathic" move. We shouldn't need Jason beheading anyone to be horrified, because just one murder, if written correctly, should be enough. A child killing someone is a terrible thing. A child being put in a position where they think killing someone is the only solution to ending suffering (thinking about the Garzonas case) is a terrible thing. A kid trying to kill his murderer (because fuck his death has to matter it has to) and only begging to be allowed it should be horrifying. Jason, with his unhealed malnutrition making him look a couple of years smaller and younger than his physical age, should look his mental age. It should be impossible to look away from the reality of what he is: a traumatized teenager who wasn't allowed to grow up. And he has a gun. This is already a horror story.

Make utrh!Jason a villain if you must, but have the guts to sit with it. Don't shove the fact that he was a hero and a victim under the rug because it's uncomfortable. Sit with the unease that sometimes someone is doing something bad and is suffering a lot, and maybe they're doing the bad thing because they don't know how to survive the suffering, and suddenly it's not easy separating hero from villain from victim. Your imaginary lines in the sand will not protect you from the crude reality of the complicated and shitty situations you have chosen to depict; you open the can of worms now you can't look away and let the worms roam free just because you're squeamish.

How does it feel to be psychic and be in my head and write part of my essay on Jason for me? Fuck, I have so much to say about this but I need a good night of sleep to formulate it correctly. Look for a longer answer tomorrow, but in the meantime, everyone sit down and look at this and look at it hard. Thank you.

[nat20composure]

Astarion and Agency- The Necessity of Discomfort to Self Discovery and the Infantilization of Victims

Minor Astarion discourse ahead that mentions the treatment of SA victims post-abuse:

I want to open this post up just with like. The statement that I don't think there is a correct way to enjoy media and that I LOVE to see individual head cannons and takes on characters in media. I think that is also, to a degree, an integral part of video games because of how unique the experience of playing a game will be to every person who plays it. But it has been making me feel so incredibly sad looking through fan content, art, or discourse for BG3 specifically because of how many people have taken the route of infantilizing Astarion.

I understand the instinct to shield or protect an individual that you love and care for. I also understand that because of the nature of the things that Astarion goes through, a lot of people also feel very deep emotional stakes in him. I'm one of the many fans of the character who is a victim of SA and CSA, I really do get it. That is also why for me personally it is so demoralizing to watch so many people treat him like he is a child who cannot make his own decisions or stand up for himself. Part of that frustration stems from it feeling like a media literacy issue, and the other part of that sense of defeat is just because it feels indicative of a broader attitude that people seem to hold towards victims of abuse, particularly those who are victims of SA.

To explain what I mean by people infantilizing him: I see so many people refuse to allow him the opportunity to be hurt, or to feel uncomfortable. They see this character who has been through an immensely horrible and traumatic experience, and their instinct is to try and shield him from anything else that has the potential to upset him. I get that the people who want that aren't doing it with malicious intent, but frankly it is not really...Helpful? To try and prevent victims from Experiencing Discomfort tm. I also think it kind of disregards the entire thesis of Astarion's character and arc.

When you go through something that robs you of your selfhood and agency, the world can become a crushingly terrifying place. In Astarion, that fear presents itself in a desperation for power, control, and at the core of both of these desires- Safety. One thing the game is clear about is that he has a right to kill his abuser. He has a right to escape his situation. A lot of Astarion's personal arc is centered around being able to finally do that. But the game doesn't just leave it off at getting him to safety. So much of it is also about him needing to take responsibility for himself and his actions, with needing to learn who he as a person is.

The inclusion of the Gur children and Sebastian as characters is a good example of ways in which the game gives Astarion the opportunity to take responsibility. I think that if the intention of the arc was meant to be that "Astarion should never ever have to deal with being afraid or uncomfortable again", then the Ascended arc wouldn't Come with such heavy moral ramifications, like sacrificing the other people just like him, killing the victims he lured in, literal child murder. The game infers that he doesn't deserve to die because of the things he Needed to do to survive, but it also makes it very clear that there is a difference between addressing an Active Threat and using your fear as an excuse to hurt others. Breaking that cycle of abuse when he finally gets the chance to is what separates Spawn Astarion from Cazador.

Taking responsibility for himself, and letting himself sit in the discomfort of vulnerability ultimately ends up being a thing that he is very proud of and cherishes. If you tell him you will make sure nothing like that ever again he himself says that he doesn't want you to be his protector. And so it blows my mind when people go into all of these discussions about Astarion with this...Weird moral high ground for never, ever making or letting him make choices that might hurt him?

I see this the most when it comes to discussions about the possible polyamorous relationship with Halsin and the interaction with the drow twins in the brothel. So many people are just...outright angry? At other people engaging with either of those options? And I feel like that anger is one) rooted in the projection of their Own feelings on non-monogamy and what a victim of SA can or cannot look like. and two) Relies on undermining the agency that Astarion BEGS you for at every turn.

When it comes to the drow twins, the game adapts Astarion's response to them based on where he is in his own personal development (a really cool thing imo). Obviously, if he still doesn't feel good or safe about engaging with sex he declines and says you can feel free, though he hopes you aren't just doing it because he hasn't had sex with you. I think this makes sense: He's just gotten out of a situation where his Safety and worth were directly tied to him having sex. I imagine he feels afraid that not wanting to have sex with you makes him replaceable or inadequate because at this point in the game, he feels like that's all he has to offer. The interaction is relatively the same if you ask him for a poly amorous relationship with Halsin: He just asks you to reassure him that you aren't only doing it because he hasn't had sex with you, and then tells you he isn't worried about it otherwise.

A lot of people have taken the expression of that insecurity in combination with him still allowing you to go forward and do these things as him just "sucking it up" because he's afraid of losing you. (I am aware Shadowheart says he wouldn't be able to handle it when you ask her if you can date both of them- But keep in mind, Astarion says she wouldn't be able to either, and THAT obviously isn't true of her. For the purposes of this discussion I'm only including interactions with Astarion as a judgement of his character.) I understand that concern, but I feel this take disregards so many other points of dialogue, and is also continually rooted in the baseline vilification of discomfort.

To further go into it, the way that he speaks about both of these interactions changes significantly if you speak to him about it once he is completely free from Cazador, and has had time to allow himself to start reconnecting with himself and his sexuality on his terms. He has absolutely No reservations about an open or poly relationship with Halsin, and says he trusts that things will be ok because he one) feels secure in Your relationship and two) Knows Halsin is experienced and trusts him to not be a messy bitch about it.

I think that shift, in combination with the in game explanation of why he isn't ok with being in that sort of relationship with the other Origin Characters (for Lae'zel and Wyll, he says they'd never agree to that. For Shadowheart, he says she's not experienced with open relationships and that he doesn't think it'd work out. For Karlach, that it would break her heart. And for Gale, he says you need standards.) is a pretty good indicator that he doesn't actually care about polyamory or monogamy. I think the vilification of that choice relies on you picking and choosing when you do or do not believe Astarion or just outright not liking non-monogamy in the first place. This interaction has more to do with the player's choice and comfort level, and so is not as important to the broader discussion I am trying to have in this post.

The interaction that is more pertinent to not Allowing him to make decisions is, I think, the drow twins. If you interact with the drow twins after the completion of the Cazador questline, he is outright giddy at the prospect of interacting with the Drow twins. Specifically stating that he is excited to see how he likes these sorts of things now that he's free.

NOW- I do NOT think that he enjoys the act. The game makes that abundantly clear, and I'm not arguing that he has a great time. He obviously does not, and dissociates during it. That being said, allowing this interaction to happen does not make a player evil or selfish. You are not playing the hero if you decide to moderate his choices just because you do not think he is ready for it. Once again, no one is evil for Not doing it either, and I am not saying anybody has to want to. I am just saying that treating this choice like it is an evil choice to make relies on completely disregarding what He wants to do.

Astarion says so many times in the game that he is anxious about finally having the freedom to find out what he wants to do, and I think that his excitement for the drow twin exchange is one of the opportunities the game gives him to make a choice. He makes that choice- And it sucks for him. He doesn't enjoy the act, and having done it he would be able to move forward knowing that. I think it's really cool and important that the game represents that facet of recovering as a victim. While you are trying to renavigate who you are, you are going to make a million new choices you never had before. And sometimes those choices are going to suck ass. It would be a different matter if he knew these things would hurt him and went ahead and did them anyway. But so many people expect him to move forward avoiding even the Potential of being hurt, and I think that is extremely reductive of his arc and who he is.

Beyond the matter of interpersonal relationships, the choice between Ascending or not Ascending Astarion is not a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. It is a choice between his fear and his humanity. Between letting his trauma and his fear define him for the rest of his immortal life, and allowing him the vulnerability of deciding who he is when he isn't running from the world. When he's willing to listen to the parts of himself that want to do right, that wants meaningful connection, that wants to be proud of himself. That wants to meet himself. To confront who he is when someone else isn't deciding that for him.

Astarion as a character is extremely ambitious, inquisitive, and adventurous, three traits that only become more and more evident as he breaks free from letting his own fear dictate how he lives his life. I don't understand how so many people can see him and want to take the core of his character away from him, when he spends the entire game fighting desperately to take it back.

Victims are not casts of the abuse they have gone through. Their shapes may be changed by the hands of others, they may have to relearn how to be the person they want to be. But they are not broken or irreparable or fragile. They do not need to be freed from the grip of one person to be held tight in the grip of another. It is so fucking unfair and self-important to think that your hands will be the ones that fix them. That your hands know better than theirs. I think the kindest thing you can do for a person is to trust them with themselves, and to listen when they tell you who they are and what they want. Please listen to the voices that have only just learned to speak. It is the only way they can get better at doing it.

[reonnex]

The infantilization of book!Wylan and show!Wylan really needs to be looked at.

This isnt a call out, or trying to hate on anyone, just an overall thing I've seen throughout being in this fandom

In the books while Wylan is a child he is also 16. People underestimate him into innocent and even younger. And while he is naive, this does not make him innocent. He has his own morals, own judgment that havent been ripped away from him yet. He is just trying to survive.

People use the "we could wake them up line" a lot snd I agree! But to also look at the full lines as well

Wylan gestured to the guards. "Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up."

"Pretty ruthless, merchling. Have you ever killed anyone?"

"I'd never even seen a dead body before I came to the Barrel." Wylan admitted.

"It's not something to be embarrassed about," Jesper said, surprising himself a little. But he meant it. Wylan needed to learn to take care of himself, but it would be nice if he could do it without getting on friendly terms with death."Make sure the gags are tight."

This isnt him being ruthless. Its him being logical. He is taking what Jesper says to heart. Wake them instead of killing them unconscious becuase Jesper doesn't want to kill unconscious men. Which they do end up tying the soldier to a pole, not killing them!! Him having morals shouldn't contribute to claims of him being innocent.

Wylan is worried about hurting people but will do so if nessecasry to save his friends. We can see this in the show and books. In the show he does not want to make bombs for Kaz, but does so in the end because he acknowledges he has to survive. He is worried about Alby, but goes along with the plan still.

All these are what makes Wylan, wylan. It is his fundamentals, his morals and idels. They are not however claims to see how sweet and innocent he is and how he was corrupted.

Ontop of this, while it is never y it is hevaily implied that Wylan is also autistic. (Also, correct me if im wrong please, but im pretty sure Jack did talk about this.) Autistic people get infantilizated already, and I've had my own fair share of this as well. ( I am autistic and have a learning disabilitiy, as well a speech impedament that I still struggle with.) I have to work harder to make sure people treat me as a twenty year old. Because that is my age, and there is a significant difference in attitude in how people treat me when they know im autistic, and when they don't.

And for Wylan, I feel like its the same issue. While it may not be intentional, ive been people coo over the fact Wylan has done simple tasks or teen experiences. Him having Jesper read to him, getting flustered when talking to him, Wylan not understanding social cues as well as others and taking things to face value.

You can be excited for him and think it's sweet, but to also acknowledge that there is a line between "Thats adorable" and "He's adorable." Wylan is someone who is neurodivergent. He was extrmetly sheltred as a child and was never given the proper tools to help his dyslexia, due to this he has struggles that shouldn't be overlooked or seen as "cute" when he experiences outcomes due to the situation he was in. Whenever he doesn't understand social cues, i.e., "Whos mark." People giggling and saying it's silly or cute when he doesn't understand the cues. That's infantilizating! You are viewing things he struggles with in the lens of watching a child understanding the world. Which Wylan isn't. He is a teenager, no matter the circumstances. His age should be understood.

This infantilization also effects wesper in how people view the two of them. Many people view black people as "older, the man in the relationship, rugged" while the white person is seen as the "women, younger, more innocent."

Infact, I think the show only worsned it for Wylan. As now there are faces to names.

Jack does have a youthful face, but still looks his age. I have a babyface and even now at 20 I look much older then I did at 16. The same goes for Jack. He cant control how he looks but because of his youthful features people only push for this racially hetaronormative mindset more between Wylan and Jesper (Even if its untitional).

Even Kit looks his age as well and has a baby face. He's 29 right now but was in his mid twenties during filming. Season 1 was filmed back in 2019 but due to covid post production got set back, and season 2 was filmed in the beginning of 2022. But why is it only Wylan who is infantilizated? Jesper struggles just as much with his ADHD and trauma as Wylan does.

Jack and Kit are only one year apart, the same in the books but still ive been Wylan be portrayed as the "poor innocent child who was abused." and Jesper as the "he needs to get over his addiction hes a grown man/ he's too mean to Wylan."

In society now so many black teens are seen as adults and treated as such, while white teens are seen as younger and not pushed so hard. The same can be seen for wesper.

Ive even seen people on Tiktok and other socials claim that Jesper was rude to Wylan and abusive. (WHERE???). Both Wylan and Jesper have said things that hurt the other, and they both apologized for it, and get grilled as well. In the show and books they learn and grow. The infantilization of Wylan doesnt hurt just him but plays into racial stereotypes and also microagressions. Why is it that when the white character is calling someone out its "deserved" but when the black character (who might I add had no idea) makes a side comment he is labled as cruel and abusive?

In so many shows and books the black character is usually portrayed as the joker character. Six Of Crows does this as well, which is something important to not ingore. Jesper is seen as the flirty joke character. However the only difference is soc also show more sides to his character by letting him be vulnerable. Letting Jesper show his struggles to the audience as well, how his neurodivergece effects him, letting him dress in skirts and bold colors that step away from the gender norm. So many times in media the black character is just there for shits and giggles, or is used as the villan/antagonist.

It believe its really important to understand this, and to acknowledge if your infantilizating him, or even using microagressions on Jesper unintentionally, then to learn to understand why and to grow from them.

[marsupials-of-mars]

I think billford fans every once in a while should step back from the emotional turmoil of the "Sometimes...I miss him. and i hate myself for that..." (which is very very good and fun) and examine some very interesting elements of canon which I think are overlooked in favor of angst.

Namely, the fact that there is NO indication at any point that Ford ever looked back. As in, once he found out about the betrayal, he never once (in observable canon) considered it an option to return to Bill. He had no regrets when it came to the falling out. He had regrets about what led to it, but "bill you lied to me! where does that portal really lead?!" Were his first words after the fight, and "ill stop you! I'll shut it down!" were the second. Barely even addressing the betrayal.

From the first paragraph of TBOB post-betrayal, his entire focus is on stopping armageddon, while repeatedly telling Bill via writing that he plans on DESTROYING him. He is unresponsive to ANY attempts to "talk". He is ready to KILL INSTANTLY.

Which brings me to Bill. Because i think BILL was expecting none of this. Bill expected anger, but he saw it as an emotional obstacle. Because he DID NOT KNOW/UNDERSTAND STANFORD. The two of them are, in reality NOTHING ALIKE.

The "hes the only one who's ever understood me" was almost entirely projection on both sides. Ford was being lied to, the friend he knew never existed, and so why would he care about Bill? To him, Bill basically killed his friend and spit on his grave. He mourns that friend, but why would he go to his murderer for comfort?

Bill is stupider, because Bill knew he was lying. Bill knew that the version of Ford he was relating to and falling in love with DID NOT KNOW WHO HE WAS. He projected his own wants and desires on Ford, all while keeping them secret. because as long as he never gave Ford the chance to disprove their connection, who's to say his wants and desires weren't the same, in a way, deep down? He thought ford was a mad morally grey freak scientist (Which is a common fan interpretation and valid, but canon bill is not in the fandom, he is trying to fall in love, so his differing opinions are unfortunately invalid).

While Ford is a freak, drawn to the strange and often evil, often has trouble with empathy and street smarts due to his impulsivity, wanted a fictional deer to kill fictional deer because he felt excluded...He isn't morally grey. I need people to understand this. Ford is a HERO. Ford is always doing what he thinks is best for the world at large. He found out he'd made a mistake, and dedicated his life, without ANY question, to fixing that mistake.

Bill made a severe miscalculation. Because the betrayal was not a LYING issue. the issue wasnt pretending to be someone he wasn't. the betrayal was an APOCALYPSE issue. While Bill may have objectively known Ford would dislike the apocalypse, he didn't realize it would be an instant dealbreaker. But Ford got the ick. it was over for him the moment he learned the truth. it wasnt even a "betrayal" to him, for the most part. It was "There is a villain trying to end the world, and I need to stop him"

(TL;DR: for Ford, in canon, anything that was or could have ever been between he and Bill was dead and buried the second he knew the truth. He is the hero, and he must destroy the villain.)

[twipsai]

this one panel in issue #50 and it's, like, not THAT bad alright

fuck it im tired and had a long day this is my treat to myself. im talking about that panel. yes, THAT panel. which one?

THIS ONE. alrighty this is off the cuff and terrible, lets go.

so this panel isnt like, that bad in context when it comes to Sonic. i think specifically "ive made peace with enough enemies to know there is a better way" is a really interesting line here, because it calls back to the amount of times that the "villain" hes fought has just been a person whos hurting, and how hes been able to help those people. it makes sense that eventually hes more keen on trying to figure out someones whole story before deciding if theyve gotta go (which is rare).

but i want to talk about the FRAMING of this panel, and specifically the larger context of this issue in particular. theres a lot of flip-flopping in perspectives. usually, IDW is told through Sonic's perspective (loosely, this kind of thing is up to interpretation a lot), but in issue 50, it switches rapidly between four different groups -- Sonic and Surge, Tails and Kit, Eggman and Starline, and Belle and Metal. within these groups, the perspective its being told from changes a few times, but never as much as Sonic and Surge's do

i actually love these two when they interact as a storyteller myself, and one that has handled scripts too often for my own liking. Sonic and Surge do this thing where they push and pull the pacing of the script to fit their motives -- Surge keeps trying to escalate things, whenever shes in a panel everything starts pushing rapidly and it feels like the panels are tumbling off the page. when Sonic does anything, though, its slow and deliberate. hes having fun fighting, sure, but he can very much tell that Surge is trying to kill him and hes not having any of that. Sonic keeps things slow and focused, Surge tries to push things faster and unfocused. i could get into how this reflects her motivations and stuff but thats not what this is about i already lost track of what i was talking about fuck hang on

ok so. Surge knows shes supposed to be Sonic, to be BETTER than Sonic. its all she knows, really, and thats the problem. shes traumatized and full of rage and Sonic has been put on this high pedestal, not just by her, but by everyone. she cannot stand this.

this panel is how SURGE sees Sonic, specifically the composition. hes shrouded in light and physically above her -- its not even that subtle of a metaphor, they use it all the time in idw.

the entire overpowered saga shows Surge clawing for control of herself, her life, her freedom... this issue sets all that up in the main story. the way Sonic is framed here isnt how he sees himself at all. weve seen him do this exact same thing from his own perspective before, where everyone is on even ground. he doesnt see himself as above anyone, this instance of him being depicted as such isnt alluding to how Sonic feels about himself, its how Surge feels about Sonic.

and, look, its not the most well-done in the world. this issue has a whole host of problems, evident by the constant switching of focus from one group to a next (a problem that i think they did better on in the Phantom Rider saga). i literally forgot about Belle and Metal in this issue bc theres just so much more going on, i wouldve loved for them to slow things down a bit, maybe splitting it into two issues, but hey, what can you do, yk?

as an aside, i think its really weird how people narrow in on this specific panel of Sonic as being "so out of character", which i sorta like, 30% agree with (i think some phrasing could be better), and then ignore the page right after it...

...in which he pretty much says "you dont get freedom if youre gonna be a problem". funnily enough, on twitter i have this flow chart saved whenever i need a quick guide on Sonics morality and stuff, its really not that complicated

x

none of this is new imo, we see he has the same philosophy in sa1 and satbk. Chaos was blinded by rage and pain after being trapped for thousands of years RIGHT after they were attacked by the echidnas. Merlina was so scared of death (implied to be because she had lost family members and wasnt able to cope with it well) that she became a monster in an attempt to never let anything change ever again. these arent very different stories in my head i guess, just cases of Sonic seeing people who are hurting and doing his best to free them from that.

uhhhh anyways. all this is disorganized i forgot what i was talking about like 5 times while writing this but. people on twitter are ripping into this issue again. like its a b tier issue stop acting like its an f yk Q_Q i will defend anything if people are too mean tbh

thanks for making it this far if you read all this. i love idw a lot and i think that it does have some flaws, theyre all really blown out of proportion.

have a great day/afternoon/evening wherever you are yall :) bye bye

[thatartsyej]

I’m bored at work rn so imma just drop some hc for Toby LMAOOOO

(This is more based in my au btw lol)

Ticci Toby Headcanons

- Very big guy, like big big. As an adult stands at 6ft 4inches (193.04 cm ) and 185 lbs (83.92 kg)

- Used to be pretty scrawny as a teenager but gained some weight as he got older thanks to Brian and Tim borderline forcing this guy to eat

- Still a skinnier guy but definitely got some weight to him.

- Pretty much one of those guys who doesn’t LOOK like he’d be that strong only for him to be able to actually throw another person if he wanted to LMAOOO

- Dudes arm strength is insane. But when you you’ve been throwing around hatchets and axes since 17 that’s to be expected.

- But no seriously dude could throw you and has definitely thrown people before

- When he first became a proxy though Toby actually struggled a bit with the whole killing thing. Not cause of the morality issue but more so because dude was an anxious mess.

- Toby was ,,,,, a bit awkward to say the least. Was very wary of everyone and everything. Didn’t trust Tim and Brian. Honestly was slightly scared of them

- Would freeze up sometimes during his first missions because he would get so overwhelmed with everything going on.

- Finally put actual effort in to getting better at fighting after Tim told him straight up if he couldn’t take care of missions successfully, the operator would kill him.

- Brian gave him the advice that it’s easier to do it if he just took all his pent up anger out while doing missions.

- Yeaaaa he definitely took that shit to heart bc when the next mission came around? Oh boy

- Safe to say he realized that he isn’t a little kid who couldn’t defend himself anymore. That he is the one people were afraid of now.

- And boooyyy did that feel great

- When it came to actually completing his first mission on his own he was a nervous wreck. Took Brian an hour to calm him down. For the first year or so he had Tim and Brian to fall back on when things got tough, now it was gonna be just him though.

- “What happens I- if I fuck it up?”

“You won’t “

“ but what if I do?”

“Toby just go do the damn job. You’ll be fine”

- He did do good, a little too good actually. Soon Toby would have more successful missions than he did failed ones. And was a lot more confident in himself than before.

- Which made Slender’s interest in him peak. Whether that’s good or bad depends on who you ask.

-Nowadays he usually will stick around whatever area Masky and Hoodie is in but will still go off on his own.

- Hates being away from them for long. They’re kind of the only “positive” father figures he’s had his entire life, but would rather jump into oncoming traffic than admit that.

- Still an anxious person, has just learned how to conceal it very well.

- Personality wise, it can really vary what version of Toby you get depending on what the situation is.

-If you’re a fellow proxy, Toby can be fairly laid back, hyper even. Likes to hang out with Kate and Rouge when they’re around. Will do whatever with the others, he’s just happy to tag along.

- If you’re someone he doesn’t like, he is quite insufferable lol. Will purposely go out of his way to antagonize you and pick on you.

-Will also call you the wrong name on purpose. Sometimes it’s not even close to what your name is, he just thinks it’s the funniest thing ever.

- If you’re a target? R.I.P

- Will not say a word. Nothing at all just stares you down silently.

- He’ll just watch you for a long time before he actually makes his move. Will just ever so slightly move things in your place when you’re not there. Maybe the photo on the wall is slightly crooked, or a favorite item of yours is missing.

- just little things that you might not notice right away, but when you do you think “huh that’s weird”

- then it escalates to windows/doors being slightly ajar, unlocked or even just straight up opened all the way.

- He wants you to be nervous. The more scared you are, the less able you are to think clearly.

- You hear him before you actually see him. The small sound of bones popping and quiet grunts and swear words

-Then you see him

- Whether it’s at the end of your hallway, the corner of your room, or in the woods.

- He stands there for a moment, not moving an inch besides the occasional tic

- At this point there’s nothing you can do. You can’t outrun him and you sure as fuck can’t out power him. You’ll still try and like all the others, fail.

- There is a small blessing tho, and that is that your death will usually be quick.

- Toby is not one for torture. Not very good at keeping people alive long enough for that but better believe he can sure as hell make it hurt

- Definitely enjoys it a lot more than he is willing to admit. Not that he would need to admit it everybody knows

- When he’s not working or hanging out with others, he tries to find anything else to distract himself. He’s actually quite good at drawing, but gets frustrated with it when his tics mess him up

- Will also just go on walks. And not just short lil ones either this man will go missing for HOURS

- Made Tim and Brian panic at first when he started doing that but eventually just accepted he’ll come back at some point.

- Absolutely will smoke weed to chill out as well too. It helps with his nerves and tics. Also helps when he is having manic/ depressive episodes.

- Just does anything to preoccupy himself. He hates doing nothing because then all he has is his thoughts which never leads anywhere good

[mswyrr]

They spent the entire season showing the collapse of everything Alicent had invested meaning in and earning her final choice.

Things that came apart over the season:

-her father's role in all this; his approval (and fear of his disapproval) has driven her for her entire life! (bad move on multiple fronts, Aegon)

-her belief that she could do what this patriarchy promises and "influence" her sons toward a good direction (Aegon dismisses her but Aemond really drove the nail in with flagrantly slaughtering smallfolk and making his intent to force his sister to do it too clear)

-her belief that she had any allies and her skills in leadership and her track record of hard work actually meant anything to *anyone* (this was a cooperative effort by Aemond, Larys, and Criston - good work, fellas!)

-her belief that she could, if nothing else, at least protect her daughter (huge emotional pillar for her)

And if we look at her prior actions putting Aegon on the throne and protecting him with her life - both fit within those structures she had mentally and emotionally which this season ripped down.

I think the final one was the thing that took it over the edge, though -- the prospect of Helaena being used and hurt and destroyed as a person -- kind of like how degrading Aemond and his connection to his long-term sex worker was his final straw that made him want to kill and supplant his brother Aegon.

People keep pushing each other too far this season. Taking out the last thing that stands between them and a radical change. Pushing people until they're willing to lose things just to break the current dynamic.

Dae/mon pushes Rhaenyra too far, then the entire war does and she "breaks bad" in 2x07 (see my meta linked below for more on my pov on that); Aegon pushes Aemond too far; and the entire group of "green men" systematically pushes Alicent too far.

All the while, she had that offer from earlier in the season, when Rhaenyra risked everything to come speak to Alicent in her mind. She was mulling over it and thinking of what she could have said, should have said. At the same time, however, Rhaenyra was moving away from being that person [my meta argument on that here]. So the person she finally comes to make peace with isn't the same as she was in the Sept. And once again they tragically can't get on the same page. It does all fit together, even with issues in the writing.

And writing on Alicent's arc simply isn't as uneven as people are saying - the theme of people pushing each other too far and how they showed the pillars of Alicent's support crumbling were both clearly done.

And, yes - Alicent still has feelings for Rhaenyra and as all of this has been happening she's been having a midlife crisis and wishing she had just run away with her first love when they were girls. But that isn't her sole motivation!! It's just what comes spilling out of her because of the state she's in. It creates an appealing alternative to the hell she's living in at the Red Keep. But it wasn't THE single motivating factor.

On a show where fathers have behaved truly monstrously--up to and including their selfishness setting this civil war in motion to begin with--it's fascinating that people refuse to believe a mother can be pushed too far. That kinslaying and slaughtering whole cities and rejecting and humiliating her and threatening to mentally torture her daughter until she breaks wouldn't change her mind about her priorities.

The "green" side becomes owned by Aemond, a wilful (as far as she knows; I'm speaking of her pov here) kinslayer moral reprobate who is violent to his sister and wants to force her to do things that will break her mind. Alicent cannot expect that Aegon will be able to stop him. That's what the side is now, as far as she knows. And she thinks he's a monster who must be stopped, at any cost. That's why she told Rhaenyra "we both know what he is" about Aemond in the Sept. WHAT not who. Things like kinslaying and slaughtering smallfolk mean something to her. And her daughter is everything to her.

Team Green overall took her for granted and thought she'd always be their doormat, and Helaena too. And Alicent finally had enough. Again, given how monstrously the fathers on this show behave, I think they "showed their work" on her radical change of heart well. It's just some people believe nothing can ever justify a mother betraying her sons and I think that makes total sense, given everything.

Honestly, once Helaena was on the chopping block, it would have been out of character for Alicent *not* to do everything--destroy anything--to protect her daughter. She feels like protecting Helaena is the only good thing she's ever done in her life.

People can dislike the ending. It's always valid to dislike something in a story, it's fine. But disliking it doesn't mean it wasn't built up solidly, narratively speaking. The writers put a lot of work and narrative space into it, actually--this was one of the most developed parts of s2!--and weaving it into the season's larger theme of characters pushing each other to the breaking point.

[limnsaber]

Watching real tv is you scrape and claw for character backstory that they made cohesive on accident. Dana Scully!!!

She has this amazing internal drive and is an amazingly strong person, but also thinks that she has a desperate need to prove herself. She keeps her walls up, even when she doesn’t want to. She’s the third child in a family of six with a homemaker mother and a doting, perpetually absent father. She thinks she has daddy issues, and she does, but she never gives herself enough credit. “I want to be praised” girl it’s human to want to be recognized. She struggles with the feeling of cycles, of staying in place, of never really changing. She has this complex that I like to call the “Starbuck complex” (named for her childhood nickname, given to her by her navy captain dad, referring to the first mate in Moby Dick (she called him Ahab the captain from Moby Dick)) where she LOVES to play second fiddle and step up to the batting plate. Mulder forges ahead and she follows him, and she charts their course as they go. He drives, and she has the map in the passenger seat. She LOVES that— when it doesn’t grate at her to not be seen. If Mulder saw her, it would be okay. And he does see her, for who she is, but not always what she needs in their interpersonal relationship. They’ve got issues!!

One of Scully’s earliest memories is that of her hiding a rabbit kit in a metal lunch box after her older overbearing brother Bill says that he’d kill it. Of course, she leaves it in the lunch box, and comes back to find it dead. There’s this innate part of Scully here — the kindness, the protector. I think this is the instance that incited her desire to become a doctor. And there’s this other part of Scully, even while small, who keeps her walls up to protect herself and what she holds dear. She didn’t tell her family about the FBI until she was sure she was doing it. And they disapproved, and she had to go on knowing they did. She never explained her and Mulder’s relationship to her family, who always seem astounded when they display their characteristic normal levels of Mulder-Scully devotion. She keeps her cancer to herself, and learns that it’s okay to reach out to people, but she keeps her walls up because she’s afraid. She’s afraid to believe.

Like the previous example, Scully’s first encounter with morality and the question of who she wanted to be was when she caught and killed a snake in the backyard with her bb gun when she was six. She was playing with her brothers, and was caught up in it, but regretted it immediately after. It spurs her to realize the effects of her actions and consider who she wants to be (and also there’s Catholic guilt in here and Scully’s desire to protect and heal, which is very good). It’s a foundational experience for her.

Thirty years on, she’ll have a snake in the ouroboros tattooed on her lower back. “Everyone gets the tattoo they deserve.”

Dana Scully, physicist, doctor, agent, spends her life searching for the answers of the universe. She comes full circle to find the truth. She wants a normal life, but she doesn’t want your normal life. When considering the paths not taken, had she had a normal life, she says “what I would have missed.” She heads for adventure because she wants to. Reason and faith in harmony. And no matter her self doubt, she knows what she’s about. Reason, faith, justice, truth, love, the greater good, and the pursuit of knowledge in the face of the unknown.

[panlight]

speaking of Bella centric, I personally never understood the justification when defending the writing in BD that the reason the Cullen's seem so chill now with their existence is because Bella being so happy and all "I was born to be a vampire wheee!! :D" is what made them rethink their view on their lives or whatever. ESPECIALLY with Edward and Rosalie. Especially x2 with Rosalie.

It's just doesnt make sense when i look at it outside the Bella bubble. Carlisle kinda made do with himself long time ago, and so did Esme. Emmett is pretty much fine with it. Jasper and Alice are the most "vampire" among them, so they dont really feel bad about missing their humanity and whatnot. To say that it took Bella being high off her overwhelming ecstasy in this new life or whatever she said in one of the chapters (i might be misremembering LOL) to get everyone to be all "see, being a vampire isn't so bad!" screams Main Character Energy.

and it doesn't really resolve Edward's issues with them being soulless? Like if you REALLY want to make a reach and say that he saw that Bella was happy being a vampire to convince him, he has family members who he's known for longer have fun despite their vampirism (see: Emmet). And even on a moral issue, which he's looking at it from, it's as if his concern for Rutabaga and her preference for human blood and having a vampiric diet and lifestyle is now a nonissue SOMEHOW??

As for Rosalie, wasnt one of her main issues not being able to have babies, not being able to see them grow and having grandkids? imo I call bullshit that she's fine with just being aunt to Bella and Edwards kid. it's still not her own kid, said "kid" is growing too fast so she's not able to have a proper mother experience with her anyway. also does smeyer expect me to believe that Rosalie is just happy now settling for crumbs from the brother she butts heads with the most and his girlfriend who was so dismissive of her pain of having no kids? please... 🙄

OMG, yes, this.

The idea that people who have lived as vampires for decades and even CENTURIES in some cases, should instantly reevaluate their feelings about it because one (1) girl who has been a vampire for literally 3.5 months is having a Good Time will never make sense to me.

Of course she's happy??? She knew what she was getting into, she wakes up in a mansion with the man she loves and his supportive family, she gets to keep Jacob and Charlie, she has a daughter and cool cars and nice clothes and a fairytale cottage. She also hasn't been a vampire long enough to experience the ennui of watching the world grow and change while you stay stagnant, she hasn't watched everyone form her youth grow old and die yet.

No one else had anything CLOSE to that experience. PLUS they all HAVE lived long enough to experience being "frozen, never moving forward." Carlisle can go visit London if he wants, but it's not the London he knew anymore.

And yeah, the souls thing is totally unresolved. I mean I think the idea is supposed to be that Edward now thinks he has a soul because how could a soulless monster have created anything so wonderful as Renesmee? And like, I guess. But Esme's open, loving heart wasn't enough to convince him vampires might still have souls? Carlisle's centuries of working as a doctor wasn't enough? This blood-drinking baby is? Renesmee herself kills things and drinks blood and prefers human blood and will age only for 7 years until she, too, becomes "frozen, never moving forward" and no one has a problem with that? Edward and Rosalie are cool with that? Carlisle, who still wonders if turning the others--who were all dying--was the right thing to do or was dooming them, isn't bothered that Nessie is basically 'doomed' from birth? It really does feel like that since Bella is like "phew! I'll get to have her forever!" about it, everyone else has to feel that way, too. By all means love the kid and be happy she's not going to age up to an old woman in 15 years and die, but you can still be concerned about her quality of life.

re: Rosalie, I agree, I don't believe she's going to be content being aunt to this kid, who isn't even really a kid. She skips all the baby milestones and basically doesn't even have much of a childhood. She just taught herself to talk and read and walk and dance all within 2 months. And Rosalie's thing wasn't "I like babies" it was "I want to be a MOTHER." Those are two different things. Bella continually asserts her place as the Mother, Renesmee recognizes her as the Mother, wanting her upon their first meeting even though other people (like Rose) had been caring for her for two days. Rosalie gets to brush her hair and feed her human blood from a bottle and I just don't think that's going to lead to lasting happiness.

I mean if Bella's still blissfully happy in 50 years THEN the Cullens can reasonably take a hard look at themselves and their views of vampirism but she's literally in the honeymoon stage now and her experience was basically as ideal as possible. She picked up her life where she left off; everyone else had to start over.

[double--blind]

(SPOILERS) Andrew and plausible deniability, OR: mfer doesn't wanna be held accountable for his actions

This has been churning in my head for a while (I am mentally ill 🥴), but a large part of the driving force behind Andy and his actions is his aversion to blame. He sorta shares this w/Ashley (she's got quite a few rants abt how things aren't her fault), but I believe Andrew takes it just a step further.

I've seen many say this before, but from the start of the game, you'll notice that even beyond normal moral quandaries, Andrew's first objection to any horrific action Ashley proposes is usually a variance of "what if we get caught?". He objects not bc her ideas are ethically repugnant, but bc they could be found out as having done them, and he knows rationally that others know they're bad. This goes as far back as childhood with the Nina incident. He fears punishment and the threat of prison more than he apparently worries about what his crimes might mean for him as a person or what they might mean for the people that might be affected by them (save him and Ashley). This doesn't mean he doesn't feel guilt or have nightmares abt them, but they're not his first priority. Trouble's a pain to deal with, and the dude's low-energy.

In fact, most of his guilt seems largely self-centered. Like, no exaggeration: if it isn't about either him or Ashley (which is, in a way, lowkey also about him), then he couldn't really care less. Do you recall him ever expressing worry or remorse on Nina's behalf? Mourning her? We think Ashley's the one w/empathy issues, but Andrew's in the same boat imo. Self-preservation and self-interest is all that's keeping him seemingly amiable enough for polite society, bc for the most part, he really couldn't be bothered.

In his dreams, the victims of their murders are just bodies: interchangeable, holding no more meaning beyond the fact that they're dead. Any corpse's limb will do to replace the one Ashley cooked—never mind that they may be from different people—bc they're all the same to him. Even Julia, sitting in her dorm room surrounded by evidence of Ashley's harassment, gets no sympathy from Andrew. For the most part, he elects to ignore it all, and regards Julia herself with a detached sorta nostalgia tinged in no small part with apathy.

img txt: You'll never see her again. And the fact that it doesn't really bother you, bothers you.

(The only things of notable worth from her were the colored pencils on her desk, which he promptly takes from her to give to Leyley instead, and isn't that just some crazy symbolism right there?)

His fear of punishment goes hand-in-hand with his desperate pursuit of plausible deniability. Everything he does, he does under certain self-imposed conditions. If it's Ashley's idea and he argues back, it doesn't matter in the end if he goes along with it, bc it was Ashley's idea in the first place. He's just there to make sure she doesn't get them in trouble, bc she needs him, bc he's gotta take care of her. Even if it's not her idea at all (e.g., killing the closet warden, killing the lady in room 302), it's still her fault, bc he did it for her, bc everything he does, he does for her.

Ashley's a manipulative, evil lil possessive gremlin w/a soul as black as tar, and Andy's a doormat, but don't think for a second that part of him doesn't use that dynamic a little to keep from reflecting on what he is. He suffocates under it, but he also relies on it. If there's any sort of plausible deniability available, he'll take it and run with it.

The truth of the matter is that they're both deeply toxic, warped individuals. The difference is that Ashley's owned up to it and quite frankly doesn't care. Andrew hasn't. He's the "normal" one.

Now, for the funky incest part (what we're all here for babyyyyy)—

We've all seen the flavor text abt the bed-sharing by now, right?

img txt: Oh yeah, you tooootally have nightmares as often as you claim.

We know for a fact that aside from some light teasing, maybe, Ashley would have no problem whatsoever with sharing a bed w/Andrew. Heck, she'll coax him into bed (demo) or climb onto the couch with him (ep 2) w/o any prompting from him whatsoever, just bc she feels like it. Andrew, apparently, can't do the same. He doesn't allow himself this intimacy of his own choosing, so he has to lie and pretend to get it if he wants it. He's greedy for her, too, but he can't let himself show it.

If something is sufficiently too intimate in his eyes, beyond anything he can excuse away for some reason or another, then he'll stop himself from doing it. Just like how he wouldn't let himself succumb to the urge of pulling Ashley into his arms to make her smile, but is willing to give her a hug when she asks for it in front of their parents.

He insists on the extra expense of two beds, and then cites his nightmares and panic attacks as the driving force behind crawling into bed w/her, bc then it isn't really his fault now, is it? He tried to stay away, after all. He did! He just didn't have a choice!

Lol

Andrew can't admit to wanting this—buries those feelings and thoughts as deep as he can so they fester and bleed, the repressed idiot—so he gives Ashley all the power to decide how close they get. It's in Ashley's hands. He's free of that hassle.

Which is why the post-sex vision, and Ashley's reaction to it, is so dangerous. @csg-iii made a good point about it in my last post:

img txt: I think the biggest point about "11" is that Andrew asks/begs Ashley for reassurance that it will never happen ("never say never"). It's a subtle admission that if she really wants it to happen, he knows he won't be able to resist his own urges. His only ""hope"" of avoiding going there is if Ashley doesn't want it.

Andrew, in absolving himself of this choice and putting it in Ashley's hands, shoots himself in the foot, bc what if Ashley goes the whole mile? Then the only real thing keeping his desires unrealized was the fact that they had never been voiced as an option before.

He doesn't want to think of himself as someone who'd bone his own sister. Forget being a cannibal, demon summoner, or a murderer; those titles were foisted upon him. This is too close to something real that he carries inside him; this isn't anything Ashley's buried in him, but rather something of his own invention. Something he'll definitely have to take responsibility for.

[v3suvia]

On Diomedes of Argos.

Typically, when people think about their favorite heroes of the Trojan siege, they think of the likes of Achilles, or Odysseus, or even Agamemnon (or if you’re based, Hector.) And while these are all valid to whatever extent— because let’s be real, no one is choosing favorites based on who has the purest moral standpoint— they’re not exactly remembered for the noblest of reasons.

Achilles spends half of the Iliad inside his tent as a sulky burrito, and the other half slaughtering Trojans and crying over the consequences of his own actions. Odysseus is a chronic liar, and Agamemnon is Agamemnon. But at the end of the day, they’re still remembered (for better or for worse, really.)

Though, on the topic of Homeric heroes, I feel there is one who is often overlooked despite achieving great feats over the course of the epic; Diomedes of Argos. (Note: arguably the most metal of the Achaean heroes at Troy.) So, let’s rant talk about him!

Diomedes was one of the key players in Homer’s Iliad— a recount of the last year of the Trojan siege. Being summoned to fight under oath, Diomedes headed his fleet of 80 ships to Ilium. As well as having a whole chapter dedicated to how kickass he was [read more about that whole thing here], the king of Argos was also a master strategist, and extremely noble— not just in his war efforts.

For example, there are multiple points in the Iliad where he checks the leader of the Trojan expedition, Agamemnon, calling him out on his cowardice or for otherwise being an inadequate leader, [Book 9; ‘Agamemnon, I will begin by taking issue with you over your proposal… do you really believe the Greeks are the cowards and weaklings you say they are? If you for one, have set your heart on getting away, then go.’] [‘Zeus has granted you many things… He gave you the sceptre of power and the honour that comes with it, but he did not give you courage— and courage is the secret of authority.]

And one instance where he truces with the Trojan hero, Glaucus— both of them exchanging armors (on an active battlefield, btw) to honor the fact that their grandfathers had been allies, [Book 6; ‘So let us avoid each other’s spears... And let us exchange our armor so that everyone will know our grandfather’s friendship has made friends of us.’]

He is also one of the only soldiers in the war who avoids committing hubris in the entire epic, which is probably the most telling of all his virtuous traits.

Diomedes also has a proverb named after him! ‘Diomedean Necessity/Diomedean Compulsion', which basically means when someone does something for the greater good (despite the reluctance of the person in question.)

This is taken from the myth of Odysseus and Diomedes taking the wooden statue of Athena— dubbed the Palladium— from Ilium. During this heist, Odysseus tries to stab Diomedes in the back to steal the acclaim of taking the Palladium for himself.

Rather than punishing Odysseus on account of betraying his ally for personal gain, Diomedes ties him up and drags him back to camp instead, because he knew the Greeks couldn’t win the war without Odysseus’ wisdom.

Anyway, why the rant? Sure, I could sit here and convince you that he’s the coolest Greek hero, but what would I be trying to accomplish in doing so? Well, it’s simply because while every other Homeric hero is recognized and represented in modern media, Diomedes isn’t.

He wasn’t even mentioned once in Troy (2004), the film adaptation of the Iliad! Despite him being the focus of multiple chapters in the book, as well as playing a big role in the Achaean army’s over-all victory.

I’m sick of everyone (and by that, I mean most modern media) depicting him as though he was just some dude™ in the Iliad when he was actually (from a mildly biased standpoint) one of the best of the Achaeans at Troy.

TLDR; Diomedes of Argos = Based. He solos ur favs (probably. He almost killed Ajax the greater at Patroclus’ funeral games 💀)Put him in more movies/shows/games so me and the other two Diomedes fans can be happy.