#dont even get me started on all the roman cities he founded

[v3suvia]

On Diomedes of Argos.

Typically, when people think about their favorite heroes of the Trojan siege, they think of the likes of Achilles, or Odysseus, or even Agamemnon (or if you’re based, Hector.) And while these are all valid to whatever extent— because let’s be real, no one is choosing favorites based on who has the purest moral standpoint— they’re not exactly remembered for the noblest of reasons.

Achilles spends half of the Iliad inside his tent as a sulky burrito, and the other half slaughtering Trojans and crying over the consequences of his own actions. Odysseus is a chronic liar, and Agamemnon is Agamemnon. But at the end of the day, they’re still remembered (for better or for worse, really.)

Though, on the topic of Homeric heroes, I feel there is one who is often overlooked despite achieving great feats over the course of the epic; Diomedes of Argos. (Note: arguably the most metal of the Achaean heroes at Troy.) So, let’s rant talk about him!

Diomedes was one of the key players in Homer’s Iliad— a recount of the last year of the Trojan siege. Being summoned to fight under oath, Diomedes headed his fleet of 80 ships to Ilium. As well as having a whole chapter dedicated to how kickass he was [read more about that whole thing here], the king of Argos was also a master strategist, and extremely noble— not just in his war efforts.

For example, there are multiple points in the Iliad where he checks the leader of the Trojan expedition, Agamemnon, calling him out on his cowardice or for otherwise being an inadequate leader, [Book 9; ‘Agamemnon, I will begin by taking issue with you over your proposal… do you really believe the Greeks are the cowards and weaklings you say they are? If you for one, have set your heart on getting away, then go.’] [‘Zeus has granted you many things… He gave you the sceptre of power and the honour that comes with it, but he did not give you courage— and courage is the secret of authority.]

And one instance where he truces with the Trojan hero, Glaucus— both of them exchanging armors (on an active battlefield, btw) to honor the fact that their grandfathers had been allies, [Book 6; ‘So let us avoid each other’s spears... And let us exchange our armor so that everyone will know our grandfather’s friendship has made friends of us.’]

He is also one of the only soldiers in the war who avoids committing hubris in the entire epic, which is probably the most telling of all his virtuous traits.

Diomedes also has a proverb named after him! ‘Diomedean Necessity/Diomedean Compulsion', which basically means when someone does something for the greater good (despite the reluctance of the person in question.)

This is taken from the myth of Odysseus and Diomedes taking the wooden statue of Athena— dubbed the Palladium— from Ilium. During this heist, Odysseus tries to stab Diomedes in the back to steal the acclaim of taking the Palladium for himself.

Rather than punishing Odysseus on account of betraying his ally for personal gain, Diomedes ties him up and drags him back to camp instead, because he knew the Greeks couldn’t win the war without Odysseus’ wisdom.

Anyway, why the rant? Sure, I could sit here and convince you that he’s the coolest Greek hero, but what would I be trying to accomplish in doing so? Well, it’s simply because while every other Homeric hero is recognized and represented in modern media, Diomedes isn’t.

He wasn’t even mentioned once in Troy (2004), the film adaptation of the Iliad! Despite him being the focus of multiple chapters in the book, as well as playing a big role in the Achaean army’s over-all victory.

I’m sick of everyone (and by that, I mean most modern media) depicting him as though he was just some dude™ in the Iliad when he was actually (from a mildly biased standpoint) one of the best of the Achaeans at Troy.

TLDR; Diomedes of Argos = Based. He solos ur favs (probably. He almost killed Ajax the greater at Patroclus’ funeral games 💀)Put him in more movies/shows/games so me and the other two Diomedes fans can be happy.

[ladyofmelk]

How would the brothers karamazov be if it was an early 2000s italian telenovela with a low budget? 🧵

We follow the (dis)adventures of the Morettis (Moretti < moro = brown), a roman family that owns a very famous bar.

The head of the family is Matteo (I've never met a single Teodoro (fyodor) in my life + Matteo means God's gift too)

His oldest son Giorgio (again, I've never met a single Demetrio (Dmitri) in my life + Giorgio is a name related to the earth > the goddess demeter) never finished highschool, he got in the army but soon dropped out to follow his new girlfriend Caterina to Milan.

Caterina is the daugther of a retired soldier who got Giorgio into the army in the first place. While he was with Caterina, though, he became friends with her sister Agata, who introduced him to her friend Giulia, who everybody calls Lia (Grushenka. Same shit, you won't find any Agrippinas here).

Matteo had Giorgio with a young woman named Adele, whom he was forced to marry when he got her pregnant and divorced a few years into their marriage. Matteo remarried an even younger woman, Sofia, who gave him two children named Giovanni and Alessio.

Giovanni is about to graduate in natural sciences. He rarely visits his family, but he happened to pop by when Giorgio and Caterina were there too. He secretly fell for her and planned to move to Milan as well to follow her and keep and eye on his brother.

Alessio (whom everybody calls Lele) has always been a quiet, lovely child. He dropped out of uni a few months into the semester to follow his true calling and become a priest. He is following a seminary in Vatican city and visits his father every weekend. (Let's pretend they're roman catholics for the sake of this. DOSTO DONT CRUCIFY ME)

Paolo "Cacaliscia" (literally "smooth shit", best rendition of Smerdyakov i can give you), the three Morettis' "distant cousin", works at the family bar and is the one who knows all the gossip. He despises his job and how his "uncle" treats him, so from time to time he tells everybody's business to the right (wrong) person.

Paolo's scenes are always in the bar. In every single episode with him he's either cleaning glasses with an annoyed expression, leaning on the counter with a shit eating grin ready to gossip or just being the typical caricature of a gay guy in an early 2000s piece of media.

Lele is seen with one (1) signature friend, Michele Raccattoni (raccattare=to collect), who's in the seminary with him but is not very... priest like. The directors LOVE adding scenes of him coming back to their shared room late into the night and Lele switching on the lights annoyed.

The show is top of the charts for five years, has 12 seasons and is still ongoing, everyone and their mother lost their shit when Lele almost left the seminary for Lia and some actual radical priest condemned the show during a sermon (he wanted Lia and Giorgio together).

Giorgio's actor has become italian teenage girls' n1 dream guy and in 2021 there's the start of a whole fandom for the pairing between Alessio and Michele. People who like Giovanni are considered edgy and no one likes Paolo except three Cacaliscia apologists on twitter dot com (me).

In the final episode Lele finally rejects the avances of Elisa, a girl in the seminar who has a crush on him, and becomes the youngest cardinal in Rome because he can. He celebrates the double marriage between Lia/Giorgio and Caterina/Giovanni. Paolo is the flower girl.

The ceremony is stopped when Niccolò, a boy whom Alessio had taken under his wing, storms into the cathedral and tells everyone that Matteo has been found dead. It turns out Paolo had murdered him. The two couples find his will. He wanted to leave everything to Alessio, who decides to divide his inheritance between his brothers and their wives. While he's looking for Paolo to tell him he's going to get some money too he finds out he hung himself in the church confessional.

And uhh thats it. Notte notte.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Snakes and Scandals (Pt.1)

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Virgil Blanche hated a lot of things, that was a given. He was, after all, an extremely poor twenty-two year old man living in the slums of a high-end empire city. Every day he would sit through nearly ten hours of abuse from costumers who were raised to think they were better than everyone else, and even the ones who weren't born rich were corrupted very quickly.

"Excuse me? Is this still eligible for a return? I tried at another store and they rejected me but I only bought it a few days ago," Virgil merely sighed at the hat and scarf clad man in front of him.

"If you bought it less than two months ago its eligible for return, if someone told you it wasn't you can file a complaint," Virgil never spoke very clearly, but he appreciated the man at least pretending to understand what he was saying.

"Thank you," it was at this point Virgil seemed to register that the man was speaking with a slight russian accent.

"Have a nice day," Virgil said in a monotone voice.

The day continued as all days working in customer service usually did, of course, had Virgil checked his calendar, maybe he would've realized that it was National Frame a Retailer For Flirting With You day. He didn't have much time to react, whoever the girl who'd used him as a cheating scapegoat was, she was very quiet, and her boyfriend was very fast.

"You tryna make her look dumb? Huh? Is that what you want?" Virgil tried to protest but ended up with a faceful of knuckles instead.

He should've known it wouldn't end well for him, at least he wasnt dead, but now he had a bloody face and was sitting in the managers office, waiting to hear his fate.

"So you punched him?" Virgil's boss was very stereotypical, blonde, bob-cut, light brown eyes, and Virgil knew she hated him. She always acted excited about his new piercings or tattoos, and of course she congratulated him when she found out he'd finally managed to afford top surgery after saving up since age fourteen. But he could tell it was all fake. He wasn't social enough for customer service, after all.

"In self defense, only after he broke my nose," Virgil responded. His manager pursed her lips together, glaring slightly from behind her glasses.

"And you are aware they intended to sue, yes?" Virgil gritted his teeth,of course they were, after all, why attack a store employee if you didn't want to sue them, or, at least, if you didn't want free starbucks every time you showed up.

"No, I wasn't, because they attacked me first," Virgil said calmly.

"I'm sorry Virgil but I'm going to have to fire you," there was no hiding the look of pure glee on the managers face as she delivered the news.

Virgil merely set his name tag on the table and left, all the while clutching his face. It burned, badly, some people needed to go to the gym less.

"You alright dude?" Virgil moved his hand to look at the man in front of him. Tall, skinny, with a mustache on his face and a white streak in his hair. The man had a worried look on his face, though his eyes conveyed a vague crazed look.

"Yeah, sure," Virgil said. He was about to walk away when the taller man grabbed his arm.

"Come with me, I'll help clean you up," Virgil was honestly to tired to argue, so instead he merely followed.

"Roman! I think I found you a new model! A little bruised up but I think he'll be ok soon enough!" Virgil had stopped listening after 'model'.

"Wait wait wait wait wait- I am definitely not a model-" Virgil tried to shrink in on himself.

"Well of course you arent yet! Oh Remus you life saver look at him! He's brilliant!" A boy who looked similar to the one with the mustache rushed out from behind a pillar, planting a kiss on the receptionists cheek as he ran.

Remus smiled, "I'll go get some ice packs and bandages, you two can talk," he said, running off.

"Roman Prince-Duke, head of Rome Fashion Company," Roman said, holding a hand out.

"Virgil Blanche, head of confused and worried emotions company," Virgil said, Roman let out a laugh.

"So what happened? If you're comfortable sharing that is," Roman said, gesturing to Virgil's face.

"Girl got her boyfriend to attack me at work for the sake of coupons," Virgil said, shrugging.

"Oh dear. . ." Roman said, his face falling slightly.

A few minutes later Virgil was sitting on a bench with ice pressed against his face and Roman listening intently as the receptionist told him what he should do.

"Gods Lolo you're so cute when you're being smart," Roman said, smiling and leaning his elbow on his knee, head pressed against his hand. The receptionist's face flushed with color.

Virgil honestly wasn't sure how calling him a model wasn't a joke, yet here he was sitting in the lobby waiting for Roman.

"Alright Virgil! Let's get you ready for your first shoot shall we?" Roman brought Virgil up by the hand, spinning him slightly before guiding him to another room.

"Lucky for you we have plenty of outfits in your size," Roman said.

"Mention my height and the fabric scissors might find their way up your nose," Virgil growled. Being 4'8 never exactly helped his case, he didn't normally get aggressive easily but it was a bit touchy for him.

"Oh dont worry, I learned my lesson with Lo on our first date," Roman said.

An hour or so later Virgil was dressed in a purple sleeveless top with black lace along the neckline, a black corset, ruffled black skirts, and black boots with heels. It felt, nice, and Virgil wasnt sure why. Normally he hated the way he looked in everything, but for once in his life he felt like royalty.

"Remy! I've got a new model for you!" Roman said as they entered another room with all manner of different sets and cameras set up.

A man with a leather jacket and sunglasses popped out from behind one, jaw dropping slightly "Roman you SAINT! Where'd you find him?!" Remy said, circling Virgil and looking him up and down.

"That credit goes to Remus, speaking of which, I've got business to attend to, you boys have fun," Roman said, turning on his heel to leave, the nearly floor length skirt of his outfit sweeping behind him.

"Alright babes you look like you're about to pass out right now so let's take a little break m'kay?" Remy walked with Virgil to a room that seemed primarily composed of bean bags.

They sat there for a while, Remy asking him questions and telling him his own stories. Before suddenly he got up and held a hand out for him. Virgil took it and allowed himself to be lead to a set covered in giant mushrooms and flowers. Remy spent a few minutes posting him, bringing out a few props for him to prop his arms on.

"Now just relax and give me a smile, you look like you're good at subtle, let's try some of those first," said Remy from behind the camera.

Virgil started out the shoot wishing it would be over already, but by the end he couldnt seem to stop looking at his own reflection in the camera lens.

"Oh Jan's going to lose it when he sees these!" Roman said, looking through the pictures from his phone.

"Who's Jan?-" Virgil said, tilting his head slightly.

"Oh you probably know him as Dimitri, he's a rival of mine," Roman handed Virgil a magazine, one scan of the front cover and Virgil recognized the man from a week ago, he was wearing the same hat and scarf as before. He read the caption above it. "Dimitri Gabriel to release new line inspired by endangered reptile species, all proceeds to go to preservation funding, no real scales used," he handed the article back to Roman.

"I've seen that guy, he was returning something the day I got fired," Virgil said.

"Oh even better! He'll recognize you!" Said Roman.

"Wait where are these even going?" Virgil said.

"My stylegram, you dont seem like the type who likes runways, so Remus and I have decided you'll be a social media model," Roman said.

"Well- guess I better make my own account then," Virgil said, pulling out his own phone.

It was only a few minutes before the comments flooded in, he recognized Janus' face, though his handle still conveyed his name as Dimitri. His face flushed red at the compliments. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but the feeling that Janus was impressed by his looks gave him an intense sensation of joy.

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Tag List:

@nerosdayinhell

@official-lucifers-child

@meowthefluffy

@spooky-scary-virgil

@misunderstoodshadowling

@youtuberswithalex

[angelcorebabyowo]

Can I have a ride home, I'm at a party and I dont know anyone...

Paring: RemRom

Words: 2771

Chapters:1[or 2]/ ???

Warnings: cursing, somewhat unsympathetic light sides from how you look at it,

oman knew this was a bad idea, he knew going to this dance was a bad idea, he knew that his friends would most likely stand him up, trust me he did. What he didn't expect was to be sitting on the gym bleacher gently crying his eyes out. He didn't expect his brand new dress to be ripped or the heel of his heels to just tear off because he fell. Despite his shaking so much he mages to get his phone and call up his brother, one of the only people he cares about anymore and puts the phone up to his ears begging for someone to answer. Tears had started flowing more freely now, no control to him, and had started full-on sobbing.

"You've reached the trash can! Leave a message after the beep!" was all that came from the other line and Roman almost threw his phone. He tried one more time and it finally worked and he nearly jumped when it worked. The sound of Remus' voice put a smile on his face despite the circumstance.

"Hey whats u- wait, are you crying?" The voice on the other line was hoarse and sounded as if they just chugged a gallon of those drink packets. Just like Remus. He had stayed home seeing as he had gotten expelled earlier in the year for beating up one of the kids who picked on roman and sent them to the hospital, he was lucky that no charges had been pressed, although it was bad enough the school board hadn't wanted him to come back unless he pulled that stunt again.

"They stood me up!" Roman cries and tries to form a ball but the bleachers hadn't given much room to so much as move another inch, "Told me I was too annoying to hang out with them anymore!" he knew it sounded childish but that was the exact wording, and he wasnt about to back down.

"Who do they think they are!" both of them said at the same time, although, Remus sounded angrier than Roman. Roman made a sound that sounded a bit like a whimper at the tone, he never did like it.

"Look, I'm in the middle of something right now, and by that I mean I just woke up. I'll pick you up in a few minutes. Do you want me to stay on the line, or will you be alright?" Remus asks his tone of voice nearly completely changing after he heard Roman's reaction to it before. He might have been an asshole but not enough to fully harm his brother during their weakest point, he would never swoop that low.

"Can you um..Can you stay on the phone?" Roman wasn't crying anymore but he was still sniffling up a storm and it was apparent with every word. He had a small problem with being alone when he was in the state. He knew he couldn't do anything but it still made him beyond uncomfortable to be alone.

"Alright then, go and wash your face off to get all the snot off of it" Remus exclaims, Roman could hear him getting up and his bones popping in the prosses, "You're a messy crier"

Roman does just that well at least walks to the bathroom, wincing and hissing as he walked to the bathroom, he refused to take his shoes off so every step was painful and he nearly started crying again.

"What's the damage? I hear you hissing, sound like Dee" He heard Remus ask him, it was muffled due to the phone not being directly on his ear and more on his shoulder. Dee, Or Jauns Lawrenson, was their mutual friend who had graduated last year and was currently going to Law school or something like that. Neither of them paid enough attention to their friend's career to tell anyone about it.

"My shoe broke and my dress has a gnarly rip in it, luckily the dress looks pre-ripped, can't say the same for the shoes." Roman practically growls annoyed that his favourite outfit was remotely ruined."Stop laughing! It's not funny! It's not fucking funny!" He practically shouts as he gets into the unisex bathroom and locks the door. Luckily there was only one stall so it wasn't like anyone would barge in on him or yell at him for being too loud.

He slowly sets the phone down on the sink and moves to turn the water on, his movements were slow as if he didn't know if he wanted to turn the handle. In all honesty, he didn't want to, he didn't want to hear the noise of it right now, but looking in the mirror at his face he knew he needed to do it. His eyeliner had smeared and his mascara had dripped down to his cheeks and with how much he's rubbed them it was smugged in more places than one on his face.

"It's alright, look I'll tell you a trick that helps me. Paper towels. Get them as wet as you can and then turn the water off when it's as full as it can be, that way the water isn't on for that long and the struggle of everything isn't as bad as it would be!" Remus says cheerfully. Roman could hear the car door close and the engine start. "Want me to pick up Dee? I doubt he'd mind if so!"

He'd never be more relived for Remus to get behind the wheel, and the thought of Dee being there sounded beyond amazing, but it was always just a little too loud with all three of them in the car."No! Just you is enough, hurry up, would you? All the lights are hurting my head, I'll meet you out front"

"I'm also bringing you some pyjamas so that you don't freeze to death tonight. Love you, I'll see you soon" Remus says quickly before hanging up the phone. He had said it so many times in the past, the simple phrase 'I love you' although, it sounded a bit more affectionate today, Roman didn't question it.

After 10 minutes of scrubbing his face raw to get the makeup off he finally got a text from Remus alerting that he was outside. With that Roman practically runs out and to the car and quickly gets the passengers seat and groans as the somewhat to warm hits him, he gently sings into the seat not even putting his seatbelt on. He looks at the roof with a somber expression, it wasn't a good look on him at all.

"That bad huh?"Remus asks handing Roman MacDonald's bag and a normal Walmart bag "I picked you up a cheeseburger and a small fry, would've picked up a happy meal but I didn't know if you would've wanted that. Plus I know damn well you didn't eat anything today, don't play dumb with me. You also got some fuzzy bottoms and a paw-patrol shirt because I couldn't find the normal clothes, Hope that's alright." Remus started driving as Roman dug into his food. The other twin was right, after all, he hadn't had anything all day because of his nerves.

"Yeah it's all right, my guy," Roman says with a big bite of food in his mouth, a smile was now playing at the corners of his lips now instead of a frown. He then changed his shirt, not even carrying if people could see him do it. He wasn't a particularly interesting site to see after all, the only intresting part would be a scar over his heart from a surgery a few years back.

.

"Don't talk with your mouth full. Not polite" Remus says with a breathy laugh as he continued to drive, he was driving to the beach because he knew that was Roman's favorite place, most definitely at night. He just wanted to see the other happy again .

Roman rests his head on the window as the streetlights, and the city in general, fade into a bleak nothingness. He was used to it, he and Remus drove this same route nearly every night. Not under the same circumstances, of course, just on the nights Roman couldn't sleep or if Remus dragged him out of another midnight adventure. Tonight, after the prom fiasco, had the same calming air to it as all of the other times did. Roman sat up slightly, still making sure to slouch just enough to not touch the top of the seat so that he was still comfortable.

The music from the radio was soft enough to make the car seem a little bit alive. The twins' silence was never an awkward one it was, more often than not, a comfortable one. This didn't mean they enjoyed it though. It was Remus who broke the silence, it typically was, and smiled over at him. It was awkward seeing as the "elder" had sharpened his canines to a vampire-ish point on summer and now continues to do it anytime it somewhat goes dull. Roman did the same thing, although, he was too much of a wuss to do it for more than that summer so his teeth had dulled a lot in that area.

"I'm not going to ask you again Ro, what flavour milkshake do you want?" Remus questions as he pulls into a Rallys parking lot, not wanting to go to the drive-through without knowing the full order "If you same say some shit like vanilla I'm going to leave you in this parking lot."

"Jokes of you, I hate Vanilla milkshakes. Banana and can you ask for extra whipped cream" Roman says laughing softly and sits up completely before crossing his legs. He felt better now, and with the promise of something sweet his entire mood changed even more. "And I'll give you ten bucks when you get home if you get me a thing of funnel fries, like a small thing, not even a medium"

"I'll get you a medium shake and a small thing of those fries," Remus says with fake disgust, in all honesty, hed most likely steal a few of Roman's "How can you even eat those things? Think of all of the parasites that are in that dough"

"This is coming from the guy who drank the pond water from my science project!" Roman says with a smug smile. a few years ago Remus, as a dare, drank an entire jar of muddy pond water leaving him in the hospital for a month with several bacterial infections and nearly died. Roman was lucky Remus found it funny or hed most likely would have gotten slapped.

"Ugh- don't remind me, I'm still trying to pay off all of those hospital bills!" Remus groans sadly before pulling into the drive-through line before quickly saying his order and playing and getting his change back, he then got the food just as fast because it had been only them and it seemed pretty much deserted at the time. He quickly drove off mumbling something about how the workers seemed mean and he should go back and give them a piece of his mind.

"Ah shut up and give me my food," Roman says and practically snatches the bag from Remus' lap with a small smile and keeps it on his side. He wasn't being mean it was more of a playful/teasing type if anything. He was rarely mean to his brother but when he was it was for typically good reason, or he just wanted to be a nuisance. "None for you!"

"Little shit!" Remus says laughing fondly before reaching over and stealing one of the fries and plopping it in his mouth before taking a sip of his milkshake "Before everything, want to go home or do you just want to ride around? We don't have anything big planned so it's not like we have to even wake up early. I was going to bring us to the beach but I'm pretty sure we'd get chased off by those snobby rich guys again." "Want to risk it to see if they do?"

"Nah, knowing them they'd press charges or some shit trespassing and I don't feel like getting arrested tonight"

"You're no fun anymore!" Roman wines

"Finnnnneee We'll go later when there's no chance of us getting caught! That better Little prince?"

"Hell yes! now come on start driving faster!" Roman says with a grin looking over at Remus before turning up the radio and practically bouncing in his seat. He had heard that nickname so many times it might as well had been his name, it was a reference to one of his favourite story as a kid and even to this day "Our song!" Roman quickly rolled down the window and started tosing scream the lyrics to "tongue-tied by Grouplove" it was rarely played on the radio but when it did Roman made sure to sing it.

It had a good summer and over the top entry they could both get behind

"Let me guess, you want me to sing along with you?" Remus says laughing softly before rolling down his window as well as the other two windows. If the two of them were going to be loud they were going to be so loud that the entire neighbourhood they had been driving through was going to have to file a noise complaint on a random beat-up car that drove through the neighbourhood. and started screaming the lyrics. "Take me to your best friends house! Loved you then and I loved you AND I LOVED YOU NOW!" They both sung that part ith all of their heart, Roman was playing the air guitar and Remus jamming out while thumping on the wheel as he drove. The car was filled with the two Teens laughing their asses off as the music practically blasted as they screamed and laughed just as hard. For a moment they forgot about everything that ever happened to them as they jammed out.

Everything was perfect in that time and space.

Eventually, everything calmed down and Roman yawned and leaned back looking at the ceiling closing his eyes slightly and took a sip from his now melted Milkshake. "This was fun Re-"

"Really? I think it was the best experience we will ever have in this plane of existence."Remus says pulling into the driveway and parked the car, they didn't go to the beach seeing how late it had gotten and both had started to get overly drowsy "And yeah, it was fun for me as well. Want me to carry you or are your legs good enough?"

"Carry me" Roman whispers tiredly and making grippy hands in Remus' direction "Please?"

Remus took the keys out and got out of the car before walking over to Roman's side and helps them out and picks them up bridal style."You good?"

"Always am Rem, now hurry up before I spit in your face for moving to slow. "

"Oh you know I love it when you spit on me"

"Ugh! Shut up and get a move on, would you!"

Remus laughs as he walks into the house, it was unlocked because Remus kept losing the front door key, and then walks to Roman's room and flops them on the bed. "You going to sleep or want me to keep the light on? I'll most likely not come back for a few minutes because I have to go fix up the car," he asks walking over to the light switch. They shared a room because Neither Remus nor Roman had the strength to clean out, or sleep, in their parents' old room after they died despite it being years ago.

"Off, yeah off," Roman says softly nuzzling into the blanket cocoon he already managed to get himself into. His mind was practically mush at this point so he didn't feel like talking

"Goodnight sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite," Remus says turning the lights off fully.

Roman snorts "Goodnight Rem! Don't let them bite you either!"

Remus fondly rolls his eyes and playfully blows a kiss and closes the door and sighing softly as he hears the tiny click. He slowly walks back to the car to get all of the stuff and runs back inside and puts the stuff into the tiny kitchen before going to the room flopping down on his bed and looks over at Roman who seemed to be peacefully sleeping. He smiled and wrapped himself in his own blankets before finally falling asleep.

[lonyaledata]

The salvation of Christianity

  The salvation of Christianity The Roman ambassador, in Judea was secretely called "I - government", and was living in the temple that was located in the holy city. He was a proud "single" and a "virgin" that never slept with any women. He was a wanker, that sexually was disappointing. One Judean left winger, a father of a woman, decided to "help him" and to give birth to his son, so he won't disappoint anymore. He told his daughter his secret nickname, "I=gov", and asked her to seduce him, by flattery, and then when he will wank off, to collect his sperm and fertilize herself. She started to hornify the ambassador, and after a few days of flattery the ambassador "broke" and exited his temple, and wanked off. She took his sperm and put in herself. Eventually a son was born, however, the father of the woman, was concerned that he will be punished, because the boy was born without the ambassador awareness, and he decided to conceal the boy, and the story of his birth. They made a circumcision, and told that the boy was just a "Jewish" bastard. Gradually he started rebelling, and said that there is a real "God", and a "False God". "God" is goverment, and government make prophecy of the "future", however not all prophecies come true, and the "disappointing government" is the "false God", and the governement which truely predicts the future, is the "true God". Cheasus was not aware that "God is Government", which are just extalling and "play god", however he talked in favor of his father, the ambassador. The Judean government decided to get rid of the young man who call them "false god", and prove that if they predict his crucifiction, "it happens". He is only a Jew, and nothing will prevent his death, thought the Judean government, the Senedryon. The crucifiction was to find the bastard's real father, and he will be insulted by the crucifiction of his boy, even if he is not aware of his existence. Father and child are emotionally connected, and that is why, usually, the circumcision was made to make sure the buy belongs to the supposed father. He is affected by the son's pain. When Jesus was crucified, the person who was found to be his father was the ambassador, "I=gov". And the soldiers were predicting the only possible future as a result: the destruction of Judea. The Governor, Pontius Pilatus, was meeting the ambassador, and the ambassador said: "Something is hitting me, who is on the cross?" -A bastard, Nazaretty. -Put him off the cross, said the ambassador, and Pontius ordered such way. The soldiers released Jesus and said "go and don't return". The ambassador said: "I was releived, however, I dont want any more prayers of this province. It seems like they bless me, and curse me, and I don't want my poison to be sweetened"."Tell them to put statues in the temple, because everybody knows that God is human, and "not made of stone". And pontius ordered to put statues in the temple. "What?! Statues?! said the Jews, it means that the Romans don't want our prayers! It means war will be! Cuz of cource God is a human, and not a "statue". Let's start the war first, and such way we will harm the Kaiser's feelings, and he might die and then the bigger war will be prevented. And attacked the small Roman force that was settled near the holy city. Pontius and the ambassador, escaped to Rome, by sea. Cheasus, met his students, and said, "I proved that I am son of God, however the false god is still hunting me, and thus I can't accompany you anymore, and leaving to live. And then the students said: "You wasted our time, and you are son of God. You wont get rid of us so fast, we will testify about you in a book. Jesus went away and the students wrote a book about him, "the new testimony". They also were hunted by the false Judean government, and so, escaped north, to the Byzantic Empire. The ambassador, was having nightmares, and the reason for that was unknown. The kings of all the empires wanted to solve the mystery of the ambassador's nightmares, and the Byzantian King met the Jeasus students and read their book. They told that in Judea there is a special young man, who is "son of God" and even escaped the cross. The Byzantian King said, it is good information, and went to the Roman empyre to tell the ambassador the story. He said: "Listen, the salvation of the nightmares is a such. In Judea you have a boy, and the the boy was crucified." -"But I am a virgin. I did not sleep with any woman", said the ambassador. "Remember well, said the Byzantian King, if you accidently wanked off outside of the residence, because there are children that are born of masturbation. And the ambassador said: "Yes, once. I went off the temple because I was so horny, and wanked off outside...And what?! Some bitch collected my sperm and gave birth to a boy?! And then they crucified him?! NOW!!!!Gather the legion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Conquer the Judea and destroy that province!!!!!!!!!!And bring me my boy!!!!! And by the way, tell him to sit on a donkey, because I was very horny when I wanked off that time. And then Judea was conquered. And Jesus was found in one of the villages, and was told by a soldier: "You, son of God, your father, the ambassador, wants to meet you. Sit on a donkey and ride with us to Rome". And then he met his father, who was already 98, and Jeasus was 67. The ambassador said: "You, I was imagining you all my life. You were born because I wanked off and that is why I told that you have to ride the donkey to meet me. However, I have sons that were born after sex, and they are like horses. And then Jesus went to meet his brothers. "The horses".

[delimeful]

(dont) take this the wrong way (1)

Day 11: Underwater

warnings: blood, injury, capture, mentions of being eaten, miscommunication, mild mind altering, language barriers and paranoia make everything difficult

-

Roman swam in lazy circles around his reef, enjoying the feeling of sunlight on his skin. 

Today was a beautiful day, and he couldn’t help but relish in it after the storm that had been raging overhead last night. His territory was fairly small compared to some shark mers, but even it had taken some damage, and so he was taking the opportunity the sunlight granted him to check over the reef. It wouldn’t do to have a home that was anything less than perfect. 

After checking over a majority of the area, though, it seemed that the damage was mostly superficial. Surface-level scratches on coral that would heal over naturally with time. He sighed in relief, spiraling up towards the surface. He could just make sure no human debris was floating around, and then he’d finally be able to sunbathe on his favorite rock.

When he reached the surface, however, he immediately caught the scent of blood. He frowned, twisting around to find the source, and saw a glint of metal in rocks by the nearby cliff.

He swam closer, head poking out of the water, and then inhaled sharply at the sight of a small, metal net caught between two rocks. It wasn’t the net itself that was shocking, since human debris washed up all the time, but rather the small figure tangled within it. A tiny mer! 

A little larger than a human but still small enough that he could pick them up with one hand, the mer had a long, deep purple tail with frills and fins that flowed gracefully in the water. It was so rare to see them in these waters! Roman drifted closer, entranced by the sight, and then blinked in surprise as the mer’s head jerked up, eyes wide and terrified at the sight of him. 

He thrashed in the net’s grip, and the scent of blood grew stronger, making Roman a little lightheaded. “Easy, easy.” He said, and reached out to start pulling the net from where it had been caught in the rock’s crevices. The mer pressed back, a desperate keening coming from his throat, and Roman’s heart broke a little. He gathered the net in his hands, bringing it up close to his face so he could see the tiny form more clearly. 

“Don’t be afraid, I’m not going to hurt you!” Roman reassured him earnestly. 

The tiny mer shook, eyes shut tightly as though bracing to be bit. Roman sighed, the current of warm water only making the mer shake harder, and attempted to pry some of the net away from the tiny form. The wires were astonishingly thin, and his claws slipped and nicked the poor thing’s arm, making him yelp and twist. “Oh no! I’m sorry!” 

Roman felt guilt settle into his stomach, wondering how in the world he was going to free the little guy. He couldn’t get free on his own, and Roman’s hands were much too big… 

Roman brightened, struck with an idea. He curled his hand around the tiny mer reassuringly, cupping him to his chest and beginning to swim. “Don’t you worry, I’m going to get that net off of you!” 

-

Luckily, Patton was haunting his usual waters when Roman arrived, the half-seal mer enjoying the weather as much as Roman. He lit up at the shark mer’s approach, tackling him in a hug. “Roman! What are you doing here? Normally I’m the one visiting you!” 

Roman returned the hug one-armed, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I’m sorry to bother you, Patton dear, but I need a favor.” He opened his hand, showing Patton the small entangled mer, who pressed himself into Roman’s palm as though trying to hide away from sight again. It was incredibly endearing, and Roman crooned lightly.

Patton gasped, hands fluttering as though he wanted to scoop the creature right up. “Oh my goodness, is that a tiny mer?” 

Roman nodded, curling his fingers up protectively. “I found the little guy in my territory, all tangled up like this. I tried to get the net off, but… I’m too big. I don’t dare to try using my teeth.” 

Still peering at the tiny figure, Patton hummed. “Did you want me to try? I’m not that much smaller than you, Ro.”    

“Well… Actually…” Roman grinned sheepishly, not noticing the way the tiny mer paled at the sight of his teeth. Patton looked up at him, and knew instantly what he wanted. 

“Roman! You know I don’t like doing that…” He pouted, crossing his arms. Roman quailed under his disappointed stare, but a glance down at the little mermaid made him straighten up again. 

“Please, Pat. You know I’d never judge you for it, and I swear I’ll put it right back once I get this one freed!” He pleaded, holding the mer up for emphasis, and because he knew Patton was weak to cute things. 

Patton sighed, but nodded. “Okay… but you have to remember everything I tell you, and be careful! They’re so delicate, I feel bad every time...”  

Roman agreed vigorously, making sure to listen intently as Patton lead them to the shoreline. 

-

Logan was walking the beach, gaze locked on the stars above when he heard it. 

He’d come out here to get away from the city’s air pollution and see the stars as clearly as he used to back home, so he was understandably surprised to hear the singing. A soft melody, like the kind a parent would use to lull their child to sleep, and undeniably pleasant. Logan turned his head to look for the source, not remembering anyone else on the beach, and saw a silhouetted figure in the water. 

He hesitated. It was a mildly cool night, and not many people were around, let alone swimming in such conditions, so he was undeniably curious as to what the stranger was doing. It would be rude to impose on them after he himself had come out here for solitude, but… 

 As though sensing his thoughts, the figure waved, beckoning him. He spared a moment to check that there wasn’t anyone else on the beach they could be gesturing to, and then stepped into the cool waves, unwilling to keep his curiosity unfulfilled or this melodical stranger waiting any longer.

If his thoughts hadn’t been so clouded, maybe he would have noticed the irrational manner in which he walked into the water fully clothed, or the fact that he couldn’t make out any of the words in the song, or the way the figure in the water seemed to be at a much farther distance than he’d thought. The melody was at the forefront of his mind, though, and so he didn’t realize that something was wrong until he was treading water and watching as the figure approached, revealing how big it truly was. 

He gaped up at the vaguely inhuman face looming over him, brain working to process it all. A mer- no, a siren? He’d been lured out by their song. He’d heard about the elusive giants, but hadn’t thought any were bold enough to come this close to a city. 

Apparently, he was wrong.

The panic only hit him once the siren scooped him from the water in one hand, lifting him up to face level. He thrashed, deathly afraid that the huge mouth was going to take a bite out of him, but the siren only looked at him with an expression oddly reminiscent of a smile and then covered him with their other hand, trapping him like a child with a firefly. He almost tipped over as the siren began to move, still keeping him above-water. 

Well. At least the creature wasn’t planning on drowning and/or devouring him immediately, though he wondered why. Perhaps they were planning on feeding him to their young? Did sirens play with their food?

It didn’t matter, he thought as he shook the thought away with a shudder. He had more time to plan an escape, and that was what counted.

-

Virgil took a shuddering breath, desperately trying to calm himself down enough to actually think. He had to stop cowering here like a guppy and actually find a way out of this situation! 

Okay, first. Take stock of what’s going on. 

He resisted the urge to giggle hysterically at his situation. He’d gotten caught in a human poaching net, drifted painfully until catching on some rocks that left him almost stranded out of the water, been found by a shark mer of all things, and now he was in said mer’s hand in a sea cave, waiting for the giant mer and his siren friend to figure out a way to get this net off so they could finally eat him. He wondered if this was how mussels felt when he spent ages trying to pry them open. 

The other mer arrived, popping out of the water energetically, and Virgil morbidly wondered how they were going to split him. Evenly? 30 - 70? Maybe the siren would only get a bite. 

He was distracted from thoughts of his imminent death by the sight of the siren raising his hands, which were closed into a tight circle. The shark holding him- Roman?- perked up, drifting closer. 

“Did you get one?” He asked, and the siren- Patton, he was pretty sure, though why he was recalling the names of the ones that were going to kill him was beyond him- opened his hands like an anemone blooming. 

In them sat a human, bespectacled and looking about as out of his depth as Virgil felt. He felt a strange pang of empathy, despite it being humans’ fault that he was stuck in this mess in the first place. Poor guy was going to be used as a tool to open his net and then chowed on. Looked like the shark mer wasn’t going to have to share him after all. 

The empathy vanished as the two giants set them both down on a shelf of rock above the water, leaving the human very much in his element and Virgil very much not. He wasn’t even able to sit up, too caught in the net to move or even open his mouth. He’d tried biting the net back when he’d been drifting along, and accidentally effectively muzzled himself.

The human took a step forwards, looking between him and the giants, and Virgil growled threateningly, flaring his ear fins. 

“Hey, don’t be mean!” Roman chided, reaching down and setting a hand on him as though trying to soothe a pufferfish. “He’s only trying to help.” 

Despite himself, Virgil froze under the touch, afraid he would be crushed if he disagreed. The human watched him with keen eyes, and when Roman withdrew, he didn’t step forwards again. Instead, he sat on the ground a distance away, raising a hand up.       

“May I help you?” He asked, and Virgil’s eyebrows raised. He hadn’t expected the guy to try talking to him. Generally speaking, humans were more stab first, ask never.

He shook his head sharply anyways. The longer he was in this net, the longer he wasn’t in a shark’s mouth. Even if he was beginning to get dizzy from blood loss. The human frowned, but surprisingly enough, stay put. 

“Very well. I am Logan. I assume you can understand me, but can you speak?” 

Virgil hesitated for a moment, before shaking ‘no’ again and then tilting his head back slightly to display the wires wrapped around his jaw. Logan nodded. 

“Ah, I see. Then-” 

“What are they saying?” Patton asked, inadvertently cutting Logan off. Virgil looked up at them in disbelief. He’d known that giant mers were fairly isolated from humans, but he’d spent so long using human knowledge to avoid them that he could barely imagine not knowing the language. Being big really did change one’s perspective on things, he supposed.

Roman cast him a concerned look. “I don’t know… maybe the little guy scared him? Here, let me…”

He reached over, prompting Virgil to flatten himself further against the rock, and gently slid Logan across the distance between them, leaving the human only a foot away. Virgil’s ears pinned back, but he didn’t hiss, both out of fear of Roman and because he could tell by the look on Logan’s face that he was an unwilling participant in the movement. 

“My apologies.” He mumbled once the hand retracted and they’d both taken a breath. “I have no idea what they’re saying, but I assume they want me to do something about the net. Am I correct?” 

Virgil nodded, but something fearful in his body language must have shone through, because Logan didn’t reach out.   

“What… Do you know what they will do to us once you are free?” He asked lowly, pretending to be looking over the netting. Virgil took a deep breath, figuring he might as well tell the guy, and then managed to pry his mouth open just enough to clack his teeth in a mockery of a biting motion.  

Logan exhaled sharply, unsurprised. “Well then. I suppose that in order to have more time to formulate a plan of escape, I could make untangling this net much more complicated than it has to be, hm?”

Virgil blinked, looking between him and the two giant mers staring down at them with undisguised curiosity. Logan spoke again, carefully sliding his fingers along Virgil’s face and working the netting free. 

“How does a temporary alliance to get out of here sound?” 

Virgil worked his jaw as the metal was finally removed, both of them tense with the knowledge that he could lunge forwards and take a bite out of the human himself at this range. He opened his mouth. 

“Deal.”

[djpurple3]

new au? me?? my au??? fantasy/monster au??? u kno it bby

Well.. i was trying to do homework, got on a roll, realised i was doing the homework wrong, and instead of starting over.... I proceeded to sketch out designs for one of my old dusty ancient au's instead. Aptly called Monster!Deceit AU (at this point).

ok ok side note bc i go on a Big Ramble below the cut it gets angsty quick. WARNINGS for: briefly mentioned/alluded to homophobia/transphobia, PTSD, suicidal thoughts and intentions.

also @leiasolo77​ @broadwaytheanimatedseries​ @merlybird500​ @magpiemorality​ idk if you want a little smth to read but yeah hi here’s a Thing. Also legit if u just wanna look at the pictures and not read that’s Chill and Legit too.

Dolian (Deceit) is a naga (half snake half man dude) and he was cursed to be one when he was young. Now he is roughly 3 hundred years old.

here’s a nifty chart i drew in a lecture 2 days ago! [virgil’s not there bc he’s the same size as Roman and i started from Dee and worked to the left so i ran out of space by the time i realised]

Gooonna put the rest under the cut bc i got a lotta thoughts

His oldest friend is Patton, who is a harpy. Patton is older by roughly a century and was the one who found Dolian after the naga fled from his home town. Patton is quite the songbird, and very good at magic. He has wonderful hearing but terrible eyesight.

His other oldest friend is a dwarf called Logan. Logan is older than the other two (he refuses to say how much older, but he’s known Patton for most of Patton’s life too). He is an excellent excavator/tinkerer/stonemason and built Dolian the home the naga lives in in the cave at the top of the mountain. He's a grumpy and impatient bastard, but secretly a loyal and quietly loving friend.

The three humans in this AU are Roman, Virgil and Thomas. They have similar stories. The town they all herald from is a cruel, cruel place and they dont welcome anyone who isnt exactly what they would call "normal". This is what Dolian faced when he tried to come out as a boy centuries ago, and got him cursed. This is what countless queer people faced across the years.

For some it got too much. There was an old story, told through the generations. The tale of a monster, a beast who lived In The Cave At The Top Of The Mountain, who killed any who stepped into its lair. For some, it sounded like an end. When Roman was young, he ran away, up the mountain, to find the beast and let it kill him - because it’d be better than life in the village. He’d heard story after story of ‘people like him’ doing this. And he figured out the reason why the hard way. Well, he never returned, so everyone assumed the beast had done its job. Maybe four or five years later, Virgil ran away up the mountain too. Remembering the boisterous boy clothed in red who was like him, who was his friend, who had been pushed to the edge, and how he had the right idea, he followed Roman’s footsteps. He didn’t return either. The legend of the beast grew.

Now, twenty-ish years later, armed with a broken flashlight and rumors, Thomas (all of fifteen years old) goes up the mountain, looking for anything better than how he’d been treated all his life down there. He finds the beast. Dolian doesn’t kill him. He... uh, immediately adopts him instead.

It turns out that’s what happened to Roman, and to Virgil, and to every other kid who’d passed through Dolian’s cave at some point or other. Some would stay. Some would keep going through the tunnel Logan had excavated to the nearest Big City. Thomas came up the mountain to die, and instead got the family he’d always wanted. Roman and Virgil are 30 and 26 (ish) and are very good friends. They’ve known each other since childhood and have lived with Dolian in his cave for twenty-odd years. They might also be in love but neither is willing to open that can of worms just yet.

That’s most the story but yeah Dee’s still struggling with self worth even so far on because imagine every story you hear about yourself involves being a bloodthirsty monster and everyone who seeks you out wants you to kill them? hmmmm yeah not good. And it turns out that Dee has stayed up his mountain the whole time and has never left!! bc he’s under the assumption it’s what he deserves!!! so they all go on a big adventure together, all six of them, and Dee and Thomas are both seeing the world for the first time and it’s CUTE and everyone gets a HAPPY ENDING

dont ask me where Remus is because bro i came up with this idea shortly after Deceit was introduced like a year ago so bro who knows. Remus is:

either another kid who comes along later (who turns out to be some baby cousin of Roman’s)

someone they meet In The Big City. (Perhaps an Older cousin of Roman’s. I like the related-to-Roman thing alright)

like a fae or merman of some kind. ( i think this is my favourite option)

--- --- ---

Here’s some sketches of me trying to figure out how on earth i want Patton to work. I know harpies generally have wings instead of arms but that reminds me of The Magic Finger by Roald Dahl too much for comfort so

feathery boi!

And here we have a more finalised Logan (not perfect though. I realised Forgot his prosthetic leg after i inked this and im very mad at myself). But yeah!! dwarves with long hair and carefully braided beards! there are 2 things Logan takes pride of and it’s his beard and his work. He’s often carrying tools and his belt is full of useful knick-knacks. (im not good at drawing facial hair or braids be patient w/ me)

logan’s great, man. it doesnt sound like he loves you but he will shower you in little trinket-y gifts fairly regularly and give you the gift of his Time, and Dolian and Patton are very good at reading between the lines for affection like this, and appreciate him dearly. he likes to be paid in praise.

and... i felt like drawing this scene out. Sometimes when a new kid (in this case, Thomas) comes along, it triggers some nasty flashbacks for Dolian, and Patton’s always there to help him through it. (Patton’s Wing Hugs are one of Dolian’s favourite things in the world. There’s nothing more warm or secure. Dolian knows that Patton deeply cares about him and will never hurt him.).

this sure makes it sound like moceit doesnt it huh

this is a story ive been chipping away at for yonks but it still means a lot to me im very attached to it. thoughts?

[sandersidess]

Alone

tw: fighting, mention of teen alcoholism/death in the family/blood/near death experience mention, ask to tag

I wrote this in one hour

*****

Age 8

Remus hated school. He never wanted to go back, escape his stupid town and not look back. Such a mentality from such a young kid is worrisome, and one would make sure he went to get help. While his adoptive mother believed in such thing, his adoptive father didn't and he was the one who ‘ruled’ the house. His word was order.

“I don’t want to go! I hate it!” Remus screams at his mother and kicks at her when she picks him up. “No!”

“Remus, sweetie please,” She pleads and takes him out to the car, “You have to go.”

“I hate it! They’re stupid!” Remus shakes his head and keeps trying to escape from her hold, almost doing so until he was buckled in.

“Remus, dear,” She says in a soft tone, a tone Remus would calm down to, but not this morning. No. He wanted to stay home.

Remus shakes his head and kicks at her seat once the door was shut with a sigh, screaming the whole ride. His sweet mother, instead of snapping like any parent would, instead kept calm and listened to his frustrations. She listens to what frustrates Remus, to how he wanted to escape and find his place somewhere else.

“I know everything! School is stupid!” He yells at her and kicks at her seat once more, crossing his arms across his chest.

“I know,” She whispers and looks at her rear view mirror, seeing the pout he had and how tears were rolling down his cheek, “How about we go get breakfast? I can let you have some coffee if you’d like, but only very little.”

“Really?” Remus sniffles, looking at her, now lightly kicking her seat.

“Yeah. Besides, you’re smart, right?” She smiles and focuses on the road, “You’re my smart boy. I know you’ll catch up soon.”

“Thank you, mom.”

“It’s no problem, my boy.”

And so they had breakfast. Remus was now much more calmer as he munched on his apple slices, smiling at how his mother made silly stories out of the food he ate. He lets out a much happier giggle, making him feel more light that his mother didn’t push away his frustrations. It made his mother smile when he smiles, so she would do anything to see that bright smile everyday. He arrived to school an hour late, a fake excuse made and Remus was on his way. As he took his seat near the window, he stares out it and watches the clouds slowly roll through.

After school, it was supposed to be the usual, but it wasn’t. Instead of his mother picking him up, his father did and it soured his day. He hated being near his father, being alone with him. He always tried to make Remus do things he hated, things he had little to no interest. It made Remus furious how he would be belittled when it came to sports, being smaller than the average kid his age, and being slightly slower than those his age. It made Remus cry out of frustration again, wanting to yell and thrown the ball at his father’s mouth to shut him up, wanting to make Remus run towards his mother.

“Man up! I don’t have time for my son to be crying!”

“Get a new son! I hate this! I hate it and I hate you!”

With that, Remus stomped away, his wall slowly building up and a cloud hang over him.

Age 15

When did he start drinking? When did he start smoking? He can’t remember really. It must’ve been when his mother passed away, when the only person who understood him left him all alone. Alone. That’s all he was today.

At first it was to cope with the death of his mother, to escape reality, to escape his bastard father. It worked, and he continued. Why? He would have to say it’s because he started hanging with the wrong crowd. Those who skip school, who drink and smoke almost all day, no respect for authority. To be honest? Remus never had respect for authority whatsoever.

He also had no respect for the people he called ‘friends.’

He only stayed with them as they were another way to escape reality. He could escape from his so-called family, school, society, his mind, his grief, and so much more. Remus needed an escape, and this was the only way to do so. Healthy? No. But he had no one to stop him.

Remus was someone the school hated. They wanted to expel him since his first fist fight that ended with the other needing to go to the hospital. Yet, they didn’t. He had good grades after all, the best in the run down school and it would help get more funding if needed. Why would a rebel have such good grades?

He did it for his mother. While Remus didn’t want to continue higher education, he promised her near her bedside that he would continue getting the best grades for her. She was his rock, his peace, his safe space. All that was gone now.

It didn’t take him until a near death experience to make him wake up. It made Remus mad that it took him that experience to snap him back, but it worked and he would thank it everyday. Getting stabbed and left alone to die would change some, him being one of them.

Remus polished himself up, one step at a time. He got himself to rehab, wanting to end his alcohol addiction and smoking habits. He thought of going cold turkey, but he was sure he would kill someone. It was hard, he wanted to quit, he wanted to punch someone (that being his father), he wanted to tear down everything. Yet, he didn’t. No, he wrote his feelings down in a notebook. He would tap that pencil against his desk, making a beat, and slowly, made music. With that music, the memories of his mother’s stories and sweet voice, and his life, he wrote music. He taught himself the guitar once out of rehab, a small smile appearing on his face once more.

Step by step, Remus improved himself for him. He made himself what he considered the better version of himself. Well, he knew he might have his moments, but he told himself he would work on that as the time passed by. He planned his escape also from this crooked old town, wanting to move into the city. First, he would have to graduate top of his class, use his inheritance money to buy a cheap apartment at the nearby city, and show off his talent.

Step by step, Remus did so, making him proud of himself.

Age 21

Remus walks down the street, guitar slung behind his back, smile on his face, headphones on and volume on high. It took him three years, and while it felt like a lot, he was lucky. It’s not easy getting recognized in Los Angeles, but playing his guitar and singing his soul out in the streets paid off. He was found by a music producer, always going to remember those dark mismatched eyes and curly hair that came up to him. From his excitement, he pretty much forgot the conversation. However, it seemed like faith had a hand in this also.

He met his biological twin brother. The conversation was...interesting, to say the least.

“Remus?”

Remus looks over as his name was said, frowning and tensed up. No one he knew was here in Los Angeles, and he wasn’t known by anyone. Who could’ve called his name?

“How do you know my name?”

“It’s me. Roman. Do-Dont you know me?” The voice says, honey eyes just like his, staring back at him.

Remus was sure he was looking in a mirror, except the reflection made him much cleaner and posh looking. Remus still couldn’t remember the name, having never heard of such person in his life. He looks back at those eyes, raising an eyebrow as he saw tears brimming.

“No man, I don’t know you,” Remus shrugs, seeing ‘Dee’ was still at his side, “Should I? You make yourself sound like an important person.”

“W-Well,” Roman gulps and rubs his hands together, shrugging, “I was hoping I would be. I’m your twin brother afterall.”

“Huh,” Remus huffs and chuckles, “So you must’ve been the one our biological parents kept. All I know is that I was adopted by age four, but I remember no twin brother.”

The room got cold at that comment, even Roman seems to have frozen up. Remus had a way to make someone feel guilty, and he only used it when upset or tired. Right now, it was a mix of both. Had Roman just left him alone, none of this would be happening.

“Remus-“

“No need to apologize, golden boy,” Remus waves him off and grins, “Besides, I always noticed how they gave you more attention. Give them my greetings, and oh,” Remus snaps his fingers and clicks his tongue, “Tell them thank you and to tell you the full truth. From your expression, you grew up in a lie.”

Remus turns around to walk away, hissing when his arm was grabbed and places a hand on the arm, turning around and was stopped from twisting the perpetrators arm. Roman just stared in horror, moving his hand away quickly.

“Don’t you dare touch me.”

“But I was hoping-“

“Listen, Roman, I’m not here to be all buddy-buddy with you. I’m here to make music and spread it to people, using my talent to help others who were in the same position as me. So get this in your skull,” He flicks Roman’s forehead, “I walk alone.”

Age 23

He was still a small artist, but he was okay with that. He never really did it for the fame, maybe for the money, but to help others. His lasted single Alone, was a pretty big hit for many. He’s gained followers, speaking to his small fan base and smiles as he remembers the first one.

Remus loves his new life, having better friends, a career he enjoyed, and away from his old shit town. He saw new joys in life, took in ever little moment, and reconciled with his brother. It was tough, as he started them off in a bad foot, but their relationship improved. They were coming up with a song together, and he was excited for it. He never forgave his biological parents, even after tears and pleads, he couldn’t.

“You’re not my parents, never will be. My real parents, who was both mother and father, is dead. She will always be my only parent.”

He couldn’t care if it hurt their feelings. Good. They get to know how he felt all these years inside.

But moving past that, Remus enjoys his new life. As he kept maturing, he wonders on what he missed out on. What were things he didn’t do as a child that he’s doing now? He can’t think of any, but he was sure Roman knew and that’s why he was being introduced to new things.

He sometimes wonders, if there was someone else in the same shoes he was in. He hoped not, but he wasn’t an optimist. He was sure someone was walking down the street, headphones on, a dark cloud hanging over them. It made Remus sigh as he walked down the street, the world seeming to go in slow motion suddenly. He looks to his left, seeing a young kid with his hands stuffed in his pockets, eyeshadow seemingly under his eyes, purple headphones on, a look of frustration on him. Remus stops in his tracks, looking back once more and sees he was gone through the crowd.

He knows how it feels to walk the world alone. He knows how it feels to not be alone.

Remus shakes his head and turns back, going to his destination, seeing the cafe and smiling as he saw his boyfriend, Dee, and Roman waiting for him.

He could only hope that no one else would walk the world alone.

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

take out and stressed cuddles are what make better evening- a sander sides au LAMP oneshot

This took awhile to refine and finish, and I know I havent posted about this particular au in awhile but after a long work week and I came back to this and finally sat down and got the inspiration to finish this. I’ll get to my other projects soon but this is a bit of a oldie and close to my heart. So I hope you guys like it too!

This is dedicated and inspired by @residentanchor and her story ALIP, Celery I hope you like this! 

~~~~~~~~

Things were remarkably peaceful, especially for a bigger bustling city as thesky dyed itself in reds pinks and golds. The city lights were slowly flickering on with cheerful glows as the sounds of the city rumbled through the streets of the heart and even a few streets and blocks out of it, at a larger apartment complex. Within a special third story apartment the sunset glowed into the dim living room, where the outside noises were overpowered by the dull volume of two men joking and discussing cryptids and the mysteries around them floating out of a neatly placed laptop upon a low table. The laptop’s owner was across from it on the couch, his purple dyed hair flopping into his face. The man was Virgil Collins, a 22 year old fresh out of collage adult, his lanky looking body sprawled out across the couch on his side with his hoodie still over his work uniform and one shoe ladded foot hanging over the edge. One look at his sleeping face showed some dark circles starting to form under his eyes from a lack of proper sleep, and his body occasionally twitched as he dreamed, face scrunching up from time to time in displeasure. He had gotten home to his shared apartment first for the first time in a long while,everyone else catching late shifts. This wouldve meant that Virgil was supposed to make dinner for the four of them, and he had meant to really. But he had been so stressed and exhausted from work that once his head hit the couch pillow and youtube was droning he had been out cold. 

And thats exactly how Patton Foster, his eldest roommate, had found him a few hours later when he got home from his own job, dressed up like a waiter with some flour dusting his black jeans. The 27 year old man pulled off his shoes as he walked in and paused, a soft but concerned smile tugging at his lips. With a soft sigh he walked over and carefully draped a blanket over his roommate, gently running his fingers through his hair soothingly when Patton saw Virgil’s face scrunch again. But soon he relaxed and Patton left him alone to go change, texting their other two roommates to try to be quiet when they got in, and that he’d be getting dinner tonight. 

20 minutes later Patton was leaning over the kitchen counter scrolling his phone quickly, eyes scanning the screen. Without him noticing their more reserved roommate, Logan Masters, slipped into the apartment and into the kitchen.

“ Evening Patton...I assume Virgil’s sleeping figure is the reason for your texts?” The other man smiled brightly and nodded, straightening up. “ Ah yes! oops--i mean yeah...Poor thing looks so exhausted right now even in his sleep I figured he should get as much of it as he can...and maybe order some food tonight so he doesnt fret over missing his night to cook.” Logan smiled and peered at his phone a little, observing the options. 

“ Well...Roman will be home soon, he missed his usual bus so he had to take the ‘worse’ one according to his text.” Patton giggled a little and went back to his phone.

“ Well, in that case it sounds like some Chinese take out might be just the thing we all need. Dontcha think Lo?” He got a small chuckle and a smile and it was enough of an answer for him to start throwing together a big order while showing the taller man to go change from work, leaning against the counter and poking his head out to check up on their youngest roomie, sighing in relief to see him still calmly asleep. It took another 20 minutes before their last roommate, one extravagant Roman Prince, sweep quietly into the apartment and lean against the door with a dramatic sigh, getting soft giggles out of Patton. The sound made Roman smile as he waved passing the kitchen and tiptoed to his room, smiling softly at the purple haired man on his way. 

When their dinner finally arrived it took both Patton and Logan to carry it all in, just to see Roman sat beside Virgils head, sitting on the floor watching his laptop and humming softly. But the smell soon filled the room and with a rumble virgil finally opened his purplish blue eyes and lifted his head with an groggy “huh?” 

“ Morning hun! You were napping when we got home so we decided to let you sleep and ordered take out for all of us. Wanna move your laptop and we’ll all watch some movies or something?” He nodded and moved it as he woke up ore, blinking the sleep from his eyes and making an upset sound as he remembered that “ But...Pat it was my night to cook and I completely forgot...I...” “ Oh hush Brothers’ Grim. Take out might do us all some good. Now if you dont pick a movie I will, and you wont like it~.” Roman grinned playfully as Virgil feigned a grimace.

“ Oh god...not Cinderella again please I couldnt take it.” The mahogany haired man gave a very offended gasp as the two bickered over movies and virgil sat up to let him on the couch. Within a blink he was comfy between Roman and Patton on the couch with Logan in arms reach on the floor in front of Patton, happily eating his share of food while they watched Big Hero Six, the sun fading into twinkling stars outside the windows. 

By the time the movie was over and another started he was full and relaxed, and all the stress of work and the day melted away with Patton massaging the base of his neck while they both essentially leaned on Roman who in turn gently carded his fingers through Logan’s hair as he read a book, the more stoic male leaning against Patton’s knee. And by the time the third movie had started they had all shifted onto the now blanket cushioned carpet with the table and food trash shoved off to the side in favor of more space for them all, ended up half tangled up together in one big cuddle pile. Virgil heard and could feel the sleepy hums from Roman with his head nestled on his chest, Patton’s arms around them both and Logan’s hand entwined with his on his other side. Roman let his eyes shut at the warm and comforting weight all around him, feeling Patton’s fingers tangle a little in his hair and Patton smiled contently when Logan reached his leg between the other two and tangled theirs together the best he could, the sound of the movies and the city outside slowly lulling them all to sleep on their little makeshift bed of blankets and pillows.

And they all were able to get a full night sleep that night.

End

So yeah! I hope you guys like this, because writing it made me really happy. and I’ll try to write more for everything else too!

Enjoy!

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople @sweetsweetemo @amazable01 @leesacrakon @residentanchor

[astrozones]

Sanders Behavioral Health, Chapter 4: Mother Logan

three hours bouta be gone

discord for only the truest Lads. gender dont matter- Astro’s Zone

Three hours.

Fifteen minutes.

Another hour.

Another break.

And so on and so forth, until it was exactly 8:45 p.m. and Logan would get ready for bed, and when 9:00 came around he would ideally be sleeping, no electronic devices in sight.

It was the perfect schedule for a weekend of study. And Logan sure did need it, he was only a couple months ahead in the curriculum, which was a month less than where he should be right now.

But just as Logan sat down to start, his phone chimed. Logan was 100% prepared to ignore it, but the voice told him he had to pick it up. The metaphorical voice, of course. Now that he knew how to identify it, he knew it was either his OCD or anxiety, and oftentimes both.

Logan stared at the book in front of him, not moving in the slightest. He knew it was stupid, he didn’t have to check anything. But, he could still anxiety rushing through his body.

He picked up the phone and went through his texts, feeling relief almost instantaneously.

FamILY!

{ We should all hang out today!!! }

[ Wait whend the chat name change ]

| like last night roman where were you |

[ Sleeping??? ]

| sleep? who’s she never heard of her |

[ And going back to Patton i am free today ]

{ Yay!!!! }

| my parents are gonna force me to do homework if I don’t, so sure |

{ !!!! }

{ Logan? }

{ We can see you’re online!! }

( I’m afraid I am busy today. I’m studying. )

{ I thought you were ahead in the class?? }

( Yes, I am. But I am not where I want to be. )

{ Aw, Logan!! You should take time to not overwork yourself!!! }

( I do. And I was under the impression that you were busy this weekend. )

[ And i oop- ]

| i can’t believe roman’s a vsco girl |

[ sksksksk ]

| that wasn’t an invitation. |

{ I am for most of the day!! I was thinking we could have a sleepover!!!! ^-^ }

| wait so i do have to do my homework? |

| i’m willing to do it if it means i get to punch roman when he acts like a vsco girl again |

[ Id like to see you try ]

{ I would very much prefer there to be no punching, but it’s great to see you’re both in!!! }

{ And Logan? }

( ... )

( I suppose I can think about it. )

{ OMG YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! }

{ We have the whole famILY :3!!! }

| huh I thought roman would’ve had something to say about that. |

{ I do have some bad news though ;-; }

{ My parents are repainting our living room and don’t wanna risk anyone messing it up :( }

{ So I was wondering if either of you were willing to host? Not Logan because he’s still considering it }

| ugh i should’ve been more picky about it and I wouldn't have to go through this |

| well my room’s too messy and it’d take more than the day to clean |

{ Well, Roman??? }

{ Roman?????????? }

[ Wait what ]

[ Sorry one of my posters fell down and i had to fix it ]

[ Lemme read through the chat ]

| lmao |

[ … ]

[ asdkfldsaihateyouvirgildksfl i suppose i can do it ]

| hey i see that |

[ My parents are out for the weekend so yea ]

{ !!!! YAY!!!!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! }

-- --

Logan’s anxiety was yelling at him once more, telling him he needed to put the phone down. Ever compliant to the voice, he put it in a drawer under the desk. A little unnecessary, sure, but it made him feel better.

Logan shook his head, the voice driving into him once more. He was off-schedule! That’s 10 minutes of studying, wasted . He was certainly going to fail, all it would take was one set off his system and he’d get addicted to the freedom it promised.

He took out his pencil, and arranged the books around him to be exactly how he wanted. If it wasn’t, it would be unbalanced, and that certainly wouldn’t do.

Because everyone knows you can’t study unless you have a perfect workspace.

Right?

--

Logan was outside his house, door in front of his face. He huffed.

His parents had kicked him out for a couple hours, telling him he had to go outside for once instead of staying holed up in his study room.

They didn’t get it.

They didn’t get why it was wrong .

According to them, Ramona Steers, a staff from Sanders, had told them all the ins and outs of what they needed to help Logan get better, and that making him go outside was one of them.

Originally, they said he’d have to be out for 5 hours, but once he told them about the sleepover situation, they had agreed to take an hour off.

So, he was going to a sleepover, he had 4 hours outside, $100 to spend as he wished, and nowhere to go.

--

Logan walked into the popular local café, The Lolapad, known for it’s fantastic drinks, welcoming aesthetic, and it’s kind owner, Lola Adams.

Lilo was at the counter today, alongside her coworker… Patton?! Logan narrowed his eyes, Patton had never talked about a job, and Logan was a frequent visitor to The Lolapad. Logan knew he had to question him about it.

Well, once he got through this excruciatingly long line, anyway.

The only downside to The Lolapad was its popularity. With it being this early in the morning, it was full of daytime workers preparing for the long day ahead of them. Logan sighed.

He admired the decorations. The floor was a deep blue, to mimic water. The tables were designed like lilypads, and the chairs had a flower pattern. The walls were purple, with painted vines crawling up in some corners of the room.

The ceiling decor was the most impressive, though. Soft, blue lights and glass hung on wires from the ceiling, almost like bubbles flying towards the sky. There was no competition that would ever pass The Lolapad, at least not anywhere nearby.

He recognized a few students lounging in chairs, mostly consisting of the upbeat, extroverted club members.

And, if he was right, one Vanessa Cordill, with her boyfriend, Jace Lendell.

God, he despised Vanessa. She had been a huge bully in the past, only stopping after he stopped reacting to it. Logan hardly had anything to do in class, having learned all of this in his own time, and his teachers would yell at him the moment he picked up a book to study ahead of the curriculum. So, seeing what his classmates were doing was the only interesting option.

And oh, Logan saw .

He was never one for gossip, but he remembered so many things.

And most of it had to do with Vanessa.

Like that time she had snuck a gun into the bag of the boy beside her- Victor Jackson. Victor was taller, and larger, and had a mean-looking face. For anyone who got to know him, though, he was very sweet, and hated hurting people.

Victor was expelled the next day.

Logan had, of course, defended Victor. But Vanessa was convincing, lying her way through her nice girl act until the principal was convinced.

So, Logan did what he did best. He collected evidence. And, once he felt as though he had enough, he would report her.

But until then, he was forced to stand by and watch as Vanessa got to do whatever she wanted.

She was like a villain out of a bad movie, or a crappy fanfiction.

“Oh, Logan!” Patton’s voice dragged him out of his thoughts. Logan was at the front of the line, apparently. “I didn’t expect to see you here!”

“Neither did I,” he responded. “When did you start working here?”

“Oh, no, I don’t usually work here! Jessalyn asked me to replace her today, well, she asked last week- so I’m working here for a couple hours! Lola was okay with it, she’s really nice y’know? And-”

“Are you getting paid?” Logan asked. It would be rather selfish of Jessalyn to keep all of the money, at least in his opinion.

Patton shook his head. “Nuh-uh. But I’m okay with it though! I like helping people. Now, what can I get ya?”

--

Logan found himself on a swing at an empty park. He had finished his drink, and was now letting himself go back, and forth, back, and forth. He wasn’t the biggest fan of attempting to do anything… potentially dangerous, but he found softly letting himself go back and forth was a good way to collect his thoughts.

The birds chirped in the background as the sun shone above him. Everything was as it should be, but he couldn’t stay too long at the risk of getting a sunburn.

He heard a text come in, and he pulled out his phone.

FamILY!

{ If your son gets burnt by the sun, is it a sonburn? }

-- --

Logan smiled slightly as the replies came in from his friends, all exclamations of distaste as Patton sent a plethora of emojis, that mostly being-

Oh.

Wait.

His friends .

…

Hm.

Not that he was against that, of course, but the immediate reaction of calling them his friends was, well, a little unnerving. He had always been the quiet one, and had a few friends in the past, though they had all moved away to other towns or cities or whatever . He didn’t care.

And if his new friends did the same, he would be okay with that. Yes, he would definitely be okay with that. If they cared, they would contact him, and if they didn’t, he was okay with that. There was no use fighting it, after all that would only give him more time to study.

As it should be.

He put his phone away, no use replying, as he had already agreed to go to their sleepover.

He heard giggling from behind him. He was brought back to the real world, only to find that he had slowed to a stop. Logan turned his head around.

There stood a small being, maybe 6-7 years old, and definitely a child. He had a light brown mop of hair on his head, and donned a red-black-green coat and tiara. He stood to face… it.

“Hi! I’m Adrian!” the kid said, stuttering over the ‘r’. “What’s- did you just get done from a- a-

‘businesses’ meeting or somethin?”

Logan looked down at himself. He wasn’t even wearing a tie today… he had a simple black button-up shirt, and jeans. What about this screamed ‘professional’?

“No,” was all he said in response.

“Are you- are you gonna go to a businesses meeting?”

“No. I’m still in high school.” At this, the miniature human named Adrian grinned, and he could practically see the metaphorical sparkles.

“That’s so cool! I’m only in firs’ grade, but Mommy says I’m gonna be 7 in-” Adrian started counting on his fingers. “15 months!”

“What… do you mean 15 days?” he asked, it was either that or 15 weeks. Adrian nodded excitedly. What he was excited for, Logan couldn’t tell.

“YEAH! I’m gonna be so smart!” Adrian boasted, causing Logan to smile slightly. “Do you wanna come play wif me?”

“I- er-” he was cut off as the 6-year-old grabbed his hand and tugged him along towards a large willow tree.

“I’m gonna show you my friend- her name is Joy! She has two dads, isn’t that so cool! Some people make funs of her for it- but I find it cool! She’s really funny, there she is!” He pointed towards a girl, presumably 6 as well, in a princess costume, and very red hair.

“JOY! I FOUNDS US A FRIEND FOR OUR TEA PARTY!” hold on, tea party ?!

“It’s Princess Joy now,” the girl stated, surprisingly strict for someone so small. “Who is he?”

“Dis is Logan!” Adrian said, adding in a whispered, “he’s a buisnesses man”

“Hold on-” Logan tried. He suddenly found the purple princess in front of him, eyebrow raised. Was he about to get judged by a child?

“Hmm,” Joy said, looking him up and down before nodding. “He may stay.”

She turned around and strutted back to where she was sitting before. She dusted off her skirt before plopping down on the ground, gesturing for them to sit near her.

“We don’t have an actual table, so we gotta pretend.” Adrian whispered to him before skipping over and sitting near Joy. Logan reluctantly joined them.

“Princess Adrian, may you please pour the tea?” Joy instructed. Adrian nodded, miming the actions of pouring.

“Princess?”

“Yes, Peasant Logan,” Logan jerked his head back, this kid - “Princess is longer than prince so’s it’s better than a prince. Princess Adrian and me are both princesses.”

“Prince and princess are equal titles.” Logan said. Joy actually looked offended .

“Impossible.”

“Yeah!” Adrian chimed in, sitting himself down in his spot. “Everyone knows that.”

“But-”

“Princess Adrian! That’s rude, Logan’s a peasant so he didn’t know.” Joy said, taking a ‘sip’ of imaginary tea.

“Oh! Sorrys Logan.” Adrian’s voice lowered, and if Logan was right he was on the verge of tears?

“Er… It’s okay Adri- Princess Adrian.”

Adrian brightened. “YAAAY!” he cheered, getting up and bouncing around him. Logan didn’t know what to do-

“That is not princess behavior, Princess Adrian.” Joy said, turning up her nose. Adrian looked confused.

“It isn’t?”

“Princesses are more quiet. I’m 7, so I know better.”

“I’m 17,” Logan cut in. Joy turned to him.

“And? You’re still a peasant, Logan. I don’t makes the rules,” Joy put her cup of tea down. “I only knows them.”

Logan was about to respond, when-

“Woah, hey what’s going on here?” another voice said. Turning around, Logan saw Roman enter their little… area behind the leaves. He sighed.

Adrian gasped from beside him, nearly tripping over his feet in order to get to Roman. He peered up at him.

“Are yous a prince?” He asked, practically vibrating where he stood. Roman scoffed.

“Of course I am, I’m Prince Roman! I just lost my crown.” Roman announced. Adrian glanced at Joy, who nodded, causing Adrian to smile.

“I’m Princess Adrian! That’s,” he turned back around to point at Joy and Logan. “Princess Joy and Peasant Logan.” Roman, the bastard, hid his giggles behind his hand. Logan glared.

“Peasant Logan didn’t knows that princesses are higher than princes cause princess is longer. That’s true, right?” He asked, dragging Roman along to sit with them. Roman looked at Logan, smug.

“Of course! It’s common knowledge! For shame, Logan!” Roman exclaimed as he sat.

“For shame!” Adrian repeated. Logan groaned, shoving his face into his hands. This is not how he thought his day would go.

He felt a small hand pat his knee, and he looked up to see Joy looking at him with a sympathetic frown.

“It’s okay, Logan. Not all of us can be royalty.” She said, before returning to her princess persona and commanding, “Princess Adrian, would you may please pour Prince Roman some tea?”

Adrian nodded, standing up and dashing around the ‘table’ to give Roman his… ‘tea’.

“Thank you, Princess Adrian, I am forever in your debt.” Roman mock bowed from his sitting position. Adrian giggled before returning to Joy.

“Once we are done with our tea, we shall help you find your crown, Prince Roman.” Joy said before taking another sip.

“Of course. Thank you, Your Highness,” Roman faked taking a sip of his tea. “I must say, this tea is quite delicious! I commend your skills, Princess Joy.”

Joy preened at the praise, resituating the tiara on her head. “Thank you, Prince Roman. It is greatly appra- appre- appreciated.”

Minutes of his free time went by as they all mimed sipping tea and making small talk. Well, all except Logan. That quickly changed once Joy prompted him to start drinking, with Adrian and Roman piping up in agreement. Begrudgingly, Logan followed through.

Eventually, Joy stood up and announced that they had all finished their tea, and had to search for Roman’s crown. Logan argued that Roman’s crown didn’t exist. Joy said he was just a peasant and didn’t know what he was talking about. That shut Logan up pretty quick.

So, he was dragged around on the search for a crown he was certain didn’t exist. Joy separated them into teams, Roman and Joy on one, Logan and Adrian on the other. She said her reasoning was ‘one to search and one to protect’, with both her and Adrian on the search side.

Logan silently followed Adrian around as he set out to find it, looking in the places it couldn’t even be at times.

“Logan!” Adrian whispered, tugging on his sleeve. “Logan look! Issa bunny.”

And it was. A cream colored rabbit was frozen staring at them, ready to move at any sudden movement. Hm, that reminded him of Virgil… or was that rude?

He watched as Adrian slowly crept up on the rabbit. Logan looked around to find Joy and Roman. He saw Joy’s bright purple dress… in a tree? Roman was right next to her, carefully following to catch her if she fell while she was searching the tree.

He turned once more to Adrian, only to find him cuddling the bunny. Odd… if it were wild, it would have bolted the moment he came too close, so this one must be socialized. He walked towards Adrian and the rabbit.

Adrian smiled at him as he approached.

“I named him Jerry!” Adrian whispered, extending the rabbit towards Logan. “Wanna pet ‘im?”

Logan reached out to Jerry, only to jump back when it tried to bite him.

“Bad Jerry! Don’t bite people!” Adrian reprimanded the animal, as if it were a dog and not a clearly aggressive rabbit.

Well, at least when they brought it over to the other two it attempted to bite them, so at least it wasn’t exclusively Logan. It seemed to only like Adrian, to Adrian’s delight and Joy’s distaste. They were quickly corralled into a game of House by Joy, the quest for Roman’s crown forgotten.

Joy claimed herself as the father, saying, “I have two dads so I have to be the dad!”. Both Roman and Adrian nodded in agreement at her claim. She pointed to Logan.

“You shall be the mom!”

“ What- ”

“You act like a mom so you are a mom.” She cut him off, turning to Adrian and Roman for confirmation. They both agreed, Roman looking amused at Logan’s sneer.

“I’ll be the kid!” Adrian announced. Joy nodded and pointed to Roman.

“You can be the dog! Because you remind me of the golden dogs.” She said. Logan would’ve laughed if he hadn’t been put in a worse situation. Roman nodded, looking determined.

“Woof,” was all he said. Joy nodded once more.

“Perfect.”

—

So Logan found himself playing a game of House, something he hadn’t done in years . He interacted as little as they would let him, dear god if another student came and saw him like this, he wouldn’t survive.

He ended up there for far longer than he had wanted, a total of 6 hours since he was kicked out. Yet he was reluctant to leave, he knew it would break the kids hearts if he did.

He was finally freed from his metaphorical prison when a voice called,

“Adrian! Come on, we gotta drop off Joy at her dads’ house!” A woman called. Logan glanced at Adrian.

“Is that your mom?” he asked. Adrian nodded, turning to the two older men. He gave them both hugs, first Logan, then Roman. He even gave Roman his tiara, saying he was sorry they couldn’t find his crown, and he had more tiaras at home. He turned as Joy stood up and they both sprinted towards Adrian’s mom, well, only after Adrian had picked up Jerry.

Both of the remaining boys watched, amused, as Adrian seemed to argue with his mother before she gave up and let Jerry in the car. Before Adrian got in the car, though, he turned to the boys.

“Bye-bye Logan! Bye-bye Prince Roman!” he shouted, before disappearing into the car.

“So,” Roman started, and Logan mentally prepared to be poked fun at.

“See you at my house in a couple hours?” Logan blinked, once, twice, before he realized that he wasn’t being made fun of for playing with children for several hours. Well, he supposed that made sense, as Roman had done the same.

“Uh… sure.” Was all he said before making his way back home.

—

Logan was stressed, to say the least, when he got home. His parents were happy that he stayed out for longer than they had offered, but all Logan’s mind would acknowledge was that he went off schedule. He was going to be so behind, this is why you don’t go off schedule, Logan! You get looped into it, and you’ll never get out of it.

He dedicated the rest of his free time to studying.

As it should be.

[incorrect-ego-quotes]

It's December 1st. Whose screaming Christmas carols, whose baking Christmas treats, whose decorating, who doesn't care, whose putting up mistletoe everywhere, whose shopping for presents every second, who forgot presents, who purposely didn't get presents and whose constantly asking for a puppy? (Sorry this so long, I just kept getting ideas!)

IM SORRY THIS IS DAYS LATE BUT I L O V E CHRISTMAS I HAVE TO DO THIS ONE. ALSO FORGIVE ME THIS IS /LONG AS FUCK/--the ipliersthe jim twins are as excited as, well, a kid on christmas morning. wearing santa hats, candy canes in their mouths, they even decorated their mic in red and green ribbon. the two practically shrieking out christmas songs -- much to everyone's annoyance "CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE--""jesus christ," dark snaps, "can you two knock it off?! it's only the first--""WOULD YOU LIKE A MORE MODERN SONG OF JOY." jim twin #1 asks, holding up a worn book of christmas carols -- the same one they've had since they were 4. passed on from dear old Mother Jim."no! this season is so grossly happy and joyful -- leave me to work--""I, DONT WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS." jim twin #2 starts off as dark covers his ears. why did they have to be the loudest egos? why cant they see how shitty of a holiday christmas is?!"THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED, DONT CARE ABOUT--"dark gets an idea and smirks. knowing one way he can get them to leave him alone. "santa isn't real."the two twins share an offended and angry look, mouths open, did he just?!"christmas was a pagan festival of gifts before being appropriated by romans based on the Odin myth."the jim twins cringe, holding their dear caroling book closer -- he...he has to be lying!"who is the god of war and death."the jim twins turn away offended as all hell. jim twin #1 throwing a candy cane in dark's face and hissing. "SHUN THE NONBELIEVER, JIM.""SHUN."they then run off to go do whatever christmas activity next -- dark hoping they won't take this caroling /publicly/.******ed edgar and silver shepherd are cooking in the kitchen. ed is a surprisingly good cook -- especially around the holidays. just ask anyone who's been to his thanksgiving or christmas dinners. silver only tagged along because he was tired of dark being a joy sucker out of the season."now," ed chuckles, "we're gon' need about a store's worth of flour.""...what?! wh--ed, why do we need a store's worth.""uh, /excuse you, youngin'/," ed points at his pink and white apron. almost annoyed, "this apron calls me chef in charge 'round here. you follow, don't question.""ed. first of all, that's wilford's apron. second of all, we probably only need one bag at most for gingerbread cookies. why would we need a--""listen. i'm only making one gingerbread man fo' everybody 'round here -- i take home the rest.""how...much exactly is the rest?""350."silver shepherd sighs, taking off his mask and gloves. ed still smiling away as if his idea was normal. well, no arguing with a stubborn man like ed. he grabs his car keys from the table as ed follows him, "your limit is 50 dollars for the ingredients." he mumbles. "i knew you'd come 'round!" ed wraps an arm around silver, "we're gon' have so much fun with these lil old cookies! i even have a homemade sugar icing recipe! i'll even make a lil cape fo' yours!" he silently doubted it but hey, its a hell of a lot better than spending his free time with an angry and annoyed dark. ******bim tugged the host along, holding onto the sleeve of his trenchcoat gently as he lead him into the meeting room. the tall green christmas tree standing proudly in the corner. decorations of red and green and gold littered the meeting room's table. the smell of pine hits the host before anything -- taking him back to his own cabin in the woods long ago. the trees covering him away from the world as he...the host shook his head. he hated those memories. he hated those dark times. he hated it all."wilford put us in charge of the tree this year," bim smiled to himself, "i know its a challenge with erm...""i'm blind?""yeah, that." bim sighs, grabbing the box of lights and unrolling them gently, handing the ball to the host, who held it with a strange look on his face."w-what's poking me?""lights, silly!" bim giggles. the sound making the host blush and laugh along. any time bim was happy, he was happy. "now, i'm gonna loop around the tree. you just follow along, yeah? tell me if ya get dizzy and we can slow down.""the host nods, holding the bundle of lights close to his chest. ready for the decorations -- reminding him of his most favorite time of year."bim shakes his head and laughs, "you can't ever turn that off, can you?""the host cannot."the two start off steady and slow. the host following bim's footsteps. he could hear the jim twins playing 'i'll be home for christmas' in the next room over -- their office space. "those two can never get tired of christmas, i swear.""the host reminds bim that it's worse for him since his own office is right next door to the twins."bim giggles, "well, hope ya like christmas as much as them." it's when bim giggles does the host wish he had his sight back. what'd he give to see his smile (although, according to dark, it looks like his -- he doubt it. bim was handsome, charming, while his smile held back pain he swallowed down.)in those small moments of thinking and wishing, the host stays in place. the lights tangling as bim gets wrapped up with the host, groaning as the tree falls gently against them. the two tied chest to chest, bim's hands resting on the host's hips. "um..." bim laughs nervously, blushing away, "hostie, bud, we're tangled.""i...is that you against me?""yeah...i'll -- i'll get us out!!"the music drowns out bim's struggles as he pulls at the lights. the host's thoughts screaming at him -- tell him!! now's your chance!! confess!!"i love...i love--""hmm?" bim perks up, "sorry, wasn't listening, what do you love?""t...this song!! i, i love it, it's my favorite christmas song."he stops and hears bim laugh again, humming along, "its a good song."the host goes along with the lie, singing along as bim rests his head on the host's shoulder to get around to the lights behind him. "if only in my dreams."yeah, only in his dreams -- bim had matthias, what did he have? nothing but his dreams of what could be with the two of them. at least, for a moment, he had the courage to change that. maybe that's what he'll ask for this year; courage. ******dark crossed his arms and continued to work in his office. he could smell cookies baking, he could hear christmas songs being sung, and he could see holly being hung in the halls. how stupid -- the other egos should be /working!/ do they think they can take over mark's channel with all this fooling around?! he slams the laptop he'd been using shut and stares out his window. even the fuckin' /city/ was covered in red and green, fake reindeer and sleighs all around, snowmen (who bought fake snow to LA?!) waving in the cold breeze. he face palms himself. a headache coming on. he hated winter, he hated christmas, he hated everything about the holidays.it...brought back memories he didn't want to dwell on. memories of christmas morning...in a mansion of some sort. fuzzy memories of a woman, a man, and that damned mark -- all enjoying...hot chocolate with marshmallows. opening gifts like.../a family/."heeeeey darkidoo," wilford bursts into his office. the jim twins still throwing (sharpened to a point) candy canes at dark's door. "what do you want, wil?""geez," he shuts the door, dark's back turned towards him, "what's up with the jims? ya do something?""other than not engaging them in their childish behavior -- not, i did nothing." he sighs, "did you finish the weekly schedule for this month's programming on Markiplier TV?""gimmie another day--""damnit, wil! stop -- just stop! stop with this foolish nonsense, this holly jolly bullshit! i hate this season and i hate the way it makes everyone--" he stops as he hears wilford set down something on his desk and wrap an arm behind him. hugging him. "dark," he sighs, "just...take it easy, okay? it's december -- at least be happy the year's almost over, and be happy you still got us. hell, be happy some egos are working like doc and google." he smiles, "just...be happy we're all still here to celebrate the season. and nobody's gone."there's silence as dark hangs his head low. "i'll leave you alone for a while. i gotta confiscate the candy canes from the jims. i'll see you at home, dark."he squeezes around dark once more and moves to leave, stopping before he opens the door, "oh! i...i found that while looking for the christmas tree in the storage back home. i...i have a feeling it's yours. broke it in for ya!" he laughs as he leaves. dark turns around to see a black mug with a cursive 'D' on it. an intense emotion of...nostalgia rushing over him despite not remembering the mug. he stares out the window again as he holds the hot mug to him. he looks down to see hot chocolate and marshmallows. he smiles and sips the hot drink. this season isn't so bad after all with people like wilford in his life.--the septiceyesthis...was going to be the best surprise, marvin thought to himself. thanks to a new trick he'd learned -- he successfully figured out how to move the mistletoe to wherever he wanted, as if he had hung them everywhere. he was sure it'd be a laugh to see everyone's reactions. making anti kiss the pizza delivery guy, making dr. schneeplestein kiss whatever old patient he was seeing, maybe making robbie kiss his reflection. it'd be hilarious nonetheless. marvin, the marvelous magician, shall wow and dazzle his fellow egos!!he hid behind the couch in the lobby of their headquarters, where they hold their meetings, and waited.and waitedand waited/and waited/.growing tired as nobody walked by, had they found out about his plan? did nobody just need to come this way?he saw jackieboy man walk by and perked up, using his wand to move the mistletoe closer under him, rushing out the door to call him back as he left."j-jackie!! hey...oh shit," he looked up as he noticed he was directly under the mistletoe.jackieboy raised an eyebrow before looking up. "aha, you want to meet me here?" he smirks, catching marvin's chin in his fingers, flipping down his mask and red hoodie, soft green hair cascading down his face. a blush crossing marvin's cheek."just us two? alone here, the christmas decorations and lights lighting up your face so softly...""um, i mean--""here? under..." jackieboy looks up. suggestive. marvin not knowing if it was humanly possible to blush anymore."jackie...""THE MISTLEFOE?!""wha--" he ducked as jackieboy tackled him, wrestling him to the floor as chase and anti walked by. anti shouting as chase winced."get the magic nerd!! get the magic nerd!!" anti shouts"THE HELL IS A MISTLEFOE?!" marvin yells as he taps out with his wand from jackieboy man's headlock. ripping away his cat mask."pssh, the mistlefoe!! put two people under that," jackieboy points to the mistletoe, "and have 'em duke it out, fight and stuff. you dont know about the best winter tradition?""erm...its actually meant for the two to--" chase is cut off as marvin uses his wand to seal his lips shut, chase giving him the middle finger and pointing to his lips.marvin used his magic to burn the magic mistletoe attached to the doorframe. cringing as jackieboy man helped him up. helping him walk to dr. schneep's office"better luck next year, magic boy!!""....i hate working here," marvin coughs as he waits for the doctor. this, was going to be a very long winter. ******the doctor clocks out early, waving goodbye to the other egos....at 10 am, after working for 45 minutes."dude, ya can't just up and leave!! we need help with decorating!! and baking the cookies!!" jackieman boy yells as chase nearly stumbles carrying in the tree. "i must!!" the doctor yells, "chase, you are in charge until i get back at...well, just know you're all working late tonight!"chase gives a thumbs up, pointing at anti as he walks by, already directing them all.the drive to the mall isn't too long, he runs towards the opening, still in his doctor uniform. this time of year was perfect for his giving heart. already having a mile long list of gift ideas for every one of the egos in his pocket, his credit card with his savings from all his paychecks since last year loaded onto it -- no price limit for anyone!! and he finally healed from his injuries after black friday and cyber monday!! (hey, those internet shoppers are no joke)he practically skips into the mall with glee at the decorations. giant christmas gift boxes, fake snow, even a 'winter wonderland' with a fake santa -- wait...was that his patient bobby dressed up? bobby with the bad smoking habit?"i hope he cleaned up for the kiddies," schneep says to himself as he rushes into the first store -- a new camera for chase on the top of his list!!he gets everyone everything -- new knife collection for anti!! a new tux for marvin!! every single marvel movie for jackieboy man!! stuffed animals and candy for robbie!! a top hat for dapper jack!!and that's just for the first day of december, he plans to do this all until christmas eve, already having different wrapping for each ego's gift. until he sees it. his own personal wish. the 35 book set of medical mysteries -- all in order, and all for him.until another hand touches the set too. dr. iplier staring at him from the other side of the shelf. downright glaring. "henrik.""edward."the two stare back in spite -- no, schneep /needed this/. he worked too damn long this year to be bested by some quack doctor ego."aha," schneep laughs, obviously fake, "what are you doing here?""shopping for christmas. i was just looking at this book set i wanted for myself."fuck. schneep tugs on the set. dr. iplier's hand not going away. "oh, really?" he smiles coldly, "so. was. i."dr. iplier tugs, schneep tugs, the two turning into a tug of war before schneep pulls him against the wooden shelf in the bookstore, yelling as they fight it out. the early morning shoppers crowding around them, recording as schneep hold dr. iplier in a headlock. "THOSE BOOKS ARE MINE, YOU PRICK.""OVER MY DEAD BODY, QUACK.""OH THAT CAN BE ARRANGED, BITCH.""TRY ME, YOU ASSHOLE."schneep pulls out the scalpel he keeps in his pocket. the two fighting more, knocking displays over and taking it outside to the winter wonderland exhibit. children running and screaming as they crash into santa's sleigh. finally -- they're broken apart by santa (bobby). schneep grabbing his items from the bookstore and rushing out the mall. not wanting to deal with police or security. wiping away tears as he drives back. thankfully -- good old smoking santa (bobby), his faithful patient, was head of security at the mall. "its christmas," he later told schneep on the phone (and dr. iplier), "just...stay outta the mall for a good two days and i'll pretend not a single thing happened"schneep wiped away tears as he layer learned -- hey, the bookstore had tons of copies of the book set they were fighting over, that was just a display!he, however blushes as chase, anti, and robbie crowd around chase's phone. the video from his fight going viral online. "doc!! you're trending under #ThoseBooksAreMine!! that's awesome as hell, you'll be a meme!!" chase praises. schneep shakes his head. nursing the black eye he has. he knows it'll be worth it when he sees their laughing and happy faces on christmas day.because he knows damn well, marvin would forget presents and anti would die before he got presents for anyone else.******"a puppy!!" chase smiles as he walks into their ego headquarters with anti. heavy coats and scarves on. a smaller dog being walked by a young boy trotting on. "ew." anti drinks the starbucks chase bought him, "dogs are gross--"chase gasps, "i...am offended on behalf of all dogs, dude!!" "what? its a dirty animal that tracks mud and barely listens.""sure you're not describing yourself, dude?" chase jokes as anti rolls his eyes. "how could you want a little disgusting creature like that?""they're cute, they're playful, they cuddle up to ya when its cold, they bark!!" chase goes on and on, sitting down in the meeting room as they wait for the others, "they keep ya company, they nip at ya when they're hungry, they...they love you unconditionally...they...won't be taken away from ya," he stops, sniffling. tears forming in his eyes, memories of christmases long gone hitting him. seeing his son and daughter excitedly wake up him and stacey to open gifts. going ice skating. baking cookies.shit."...chase?"chase shakes his head and wipes a tear, "sorry, bro. i...i'm just caught up in my feelings. this time of year and, missing my kids."anti looks down into his coffee cup. damn, chase has been through a lot. he's the only ego who keeps it together -- not like him who just...glitches out at emotions. "...it's fine." anti grumbles under his scarf, "i'm sure this christmas will be...okay.""really?" "...yeah, really. even with that stacey keeping the kids, this christmas will be worthwhile. i mean, we got...decorating and shit to do today. that'll take your mind off it, right?""y-yeah, and the kids are suppose to call after school...and, and stacey's letting me come to their christmas play!! you're right, for once, anti!!" chase smiles and hugs him, anti awkwardly patting back. "okay...hug's been too long, don't push it chase.""sorry."...everyone had called chase a dumbass to give a copy of his apartment keys to anti. everyone had doubted anti would show any spirit in the season. everyone had doubted chase would get anything he really wanted for christmas, even schneeplestein.anti snuck into chase's apartment that christmas eve. chase down for the night in his bedroom. a small 4 foot christmas tree decorated in lights and ordainments in the corner of his living room. a letter from his kids (that anti skimmed through) on the table. "let's prove all those dicks back at hq wrong," he whispers to the bundle in his arms. setting it under the tree. it'd been absolute hell to get anyone to allow him to take home chase's gift. grunting as he sat on the couch and nodded off into sleep. the dalmatian puppy slept too, a red collar around it's neck, tail wagging in its sleep as it was thankful for anti for getting him out of the cold shelter. excited to meet his new master in the cold christmas morning.

[bites-kms]

Southwest Roadtrip - Episode 1: Viva las Vegas

When it comes to discovering the US, Johnny Cash kept it simple and straight to the point: 

“I've been everywhere, man. Crossed the desert's bare, man. I've breathed the mountain air, man. Of travel I've had my share, man. I've been everywhere.“

And what a journey it was! Who knew a failed attempt to fly to Hawaii would result in such a fun adventure? We packed our stuff and jumped on a plane, destination Southwest of America. Starting by Vegas, passing through Arizona, stopping by Utah, resting in Colorado. Only my friend Belu would be as kamikaze to propose such thing and found in me such a blind partner-in-crime. It was September 4th, and we were rushing in a taxi from Hoboken to Newark to board our first flight during a global sanitary emergency, looking like Darth Vader’s close cousins with our masks and face shields. 

After an approximately 6-hour flight, we landed in the middle of literally nowhere. We were able to see the pyramid and some other iconic architecture which I currently do not remember because it was about only for 5 seconds before landing. On arrival, on a mostly empty airport, we were surprised by the amount of slot machines that were there, welcoming everyone to place their bets. For sure, ours was to have fun and contrary to common belief, the house didn't win this one: we had a blast!

Followed by a surprise “SIN CITY, WOOO HOOO!” shout from someone who obviously has been living inside a thermos for the last past months, we cracked up and went to fetch a car. This very nice gentleman took us to the Bellagio (yeap, we went full on cliche mode, with what was originally a non-existent promo) while DJ Dani blasted her best records to kick off this adventure with the right feet: Viva Las Vegas by Elvis Presley and Just a Gigolo by Louis Prima Success. 

DAY 1: 

First things first: check in and adventure. Hotel, amenities and surroundings. Vegas spins around two main areas: the famous Strip, 6.8kms of the brightest place on earth seen from outer space full of hotels, restaurants, shops and of course, casinos. Pretty much Disneyworld for adults. The Bellagio is the iconic hotel which hosts some of the greatest restaurants and also the famous dancing fountains. Also, is one that is pretty centrally located, in between Caesars Palace (Roman Empire themed), The Cosmopolitan (which imitates boheme life from France) Aria and Park MGM Las Vegas (New York City represent!), Excalibur (Middle Ages) Luxor (Cleopatra’s Egypt) and The Venetian (of course, Venice). Everything is within walking distance but beware of the heat: a normal day in the desert is around 42C (107F), if not more, with a melting down thermal sensation of 1000 in any scale. This is why is also a city that is enjoyable during night time. So, do not feel bad about sleeping in a bit: you can always chill by the pool in the morning, have a little something for lunch and sleep (or remove the hangover) during the afternoon when the sun is unbearable. OR, the casino is always open so that could be an option. We chose to walk around a bit (big mistake) but luckily once you enter to the casinos, they are all connected with escalators, shade and AC, so we were mesmerized by this grown up themed park, where is so easy to lose track of time. 

After an Italian lunch on a french bistro in a corner of Paris (? yes.. I know..) we went back and rest by the pool. Once the sun was already getting ready to bet some chips at night, we did too: we changed into our most shinny and glamorous outfit and won exactly 27 dollars! We checked out Venice, and some of the night shows that were happening on the streets (like naked promoters, the massive PM lines, and the crazy long-ass “juice” towers flowing around the more energetic covid-prone crowds) right before we headed up to Yellowtail, the Japanese and Michelin Starred restaurant at the Bellagio. We had their famous tuna pizza (it sounds terrible but it is more of a tostada or sashimi-style like) and got disappointed that they run out of the short ribs, but instead had some amazing sushi rolls and some tempura bites. When we found out about the beautiful, sigh-seeing windows that displayed all the fountain show we left our high-end attires aside and run to the windows, interrupting some other people’s dinner while leaving the waiters behind. We decided to go for dessert somewhere else and went to the piano bar located at the reception for a delicious espresso and a chocolate diamond cake. We did some neon-gazing and loved the fountain show to the beat of Believe by Cher, while being overwhelmed by a surreal feeling of actually being there, having so much fun and appreciating our friendship (and of course, avoided a high/drunk fellow who tried to take our pics and phone with them - she didnt know we were from New York and from Rio de la Plata, so the scam was on her!) 

DAY 2

Repeat. (and pretty much that’s all we did). We kicked it off with a fake breakfast by the pool, and some piñas coladas in between facemasks. We also had a light lunch by the pool (a greek salad with some much needed water) and then, around 6:15 we took a cab to the Neon Museum - yeap, for those who think there is only light fun in Vegas, nope, think again, there are worthy museums, too! ( I even made a joke here! damn I’m inspired!). The Neon Museum is a scrap dealer cemetery, where all the old and somehow “broken” -even thou most of them have been repaired and are currently working!- neon signs from Old time Vegas rest. It is very fun to see old hotels, random letters, icons and logos being laid there, creating a wonderful mess in the middle of, again, you guess right, the desert. It was very fun and beautiful to be honest. 

Another short taxi drive later (I was too naif thinking we could walk in short heels under the killer heat more than a block!) we drove thru what is known as “Old Vegas” or “Downtown Vegas”. This used to be the place where the magic happened before the creation of the Strip, but nowadays it only hosts what lingers of once a glamorous and kitschy past. The center of this action can be found throughout Freemont Street, a pedestrian long avenue that gathers classic neon signs, all-time Vegas characters (we still missed out on Elvis, so watch out impersonator, we will be back just for you!), stripers, street sellers, all you can eat venues, dodgy bars, and more and more neons.  According to Las Vegas Tourism Board>> “Fun people, crazy people, partying, gambling, drinking, street performers, free music and light shows, zip lining and just having a good time... that's what you expect at Freemont.”

We had some pizza, talked to this Montana guy who for a second thought he was able to have a threesome with us on his dirty van, were voluntary abused by these hot, ripped stripers who made us laugh with their pick up line: “You can leave your face mask here, right by your underwear too, please.” The guys were a “sample” - since the show is canceled due to the pandemic- of Chippendales, something a fine woman needs to experience once in their lifetime. Belu felt in love with her boy, but given the current times and protocols, this love couldn't prosper as we all wished it had. No worries amiga, next time!

But the most striking part of this decadent place was witnessing this surreal restaurant called Heart Attack Grill, where people who weight more than 350lbs (almost 160kgs) eat for free. The biggest burger consist on 8 patties, and as an FYI, only the 4 patty burger is marked on the Guinness World Records Book as the “Quadruple Bypass Burger” with almost 10.000 calories, all the beverages consists on massive soft drinks, milkshakes, beers and wine, (full bottles, of course, served from an IV drip bag) and it is not allowed to share food. The place is cash only, you gotta weight yourself before entering, each patty is made of half pound each, everybody must wear hospital gowns and if you dare not to finish your meal, you get three spanks by the horny yet not so sexy waitress dressed as nurses. As a nice little detail, on the biggest burger you can pump it up with 40 slices of bacon by only $7.99 more!  And, to wrap up this majestic hospital parlor, I recently researched that the legal owner of Heart Attack Grill is hilarious – Diet Center LLC. The founder is Jon Basso, who strives to provide “nutritional pornography” in his food. For a better comprehension (for a lack of a better word) of this place, you can check out this recap of Showtime’s series: Deadly Sins. 

So, we were mesmerized, we were educated, we bet, we ate, we drunk and we touched some sweaty strippers, so there was only one thing left to do: crush a weeding. So there we went. There were multiple chapels around the area, but I dont know whether it was the time (it was around, 9, 9 and coins) so it may have been a little bit too late or due to COVID, but no weddings were in place. We finally arrived to the Little White Chapel, the original, unique one that has the Elvis sign, the drive-thru and the proud sign that states how Michael Jordan and Joan Collins got married there. We were so bummed to found only a very young, very dull couple getting married (she was wearing black, hence, that is all you need to know) and there was not a very jolly, merry spirit. Still, we managed to hang out with the best men and got a picture of two to remember this fail attempt to crush this very much lame wedding. Up we went to the Bellagio, checking out what was missing from Sin City: the Wynn Hotel, Route 515, 51 and the Famous Welcome to Las Vegas Sign. 

We wrapped this unique experience witnessing an amazing, full moon in the middle of the desert, with a massive and delicious full on breakfast at Sadelle’s, a little piece of home in our far-away-from home hotel.  Till next time, Vegas! You were great fun! 

[cowboyarc]

tagged by @lostnoise​ ty!!

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black pens, because in english they always asked us to use blue. and english was awful for me so no blue :p

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? city, i lived in the bumheck middle of nowhere for 18 years and hated it.

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? oooh, i really want to get better at the guitar, or learn to sword fight.

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Yes, but very very little.

5. what was your favorite book as a child? I dont remember having a favorite book? but my dad had this whole story written out and he’d use that to tell me bedtime stories. it was so cool.

6. do you prefer baths or showers? Showers, i am get anxious in baths? i feel weird just sitting there.

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? d-r-a-g-o-n-s. in my dads stories that i mentioned above? there was an elf that was a half-ling and could turn into a dragon.

8. paper or electronic books? I dont read much? but definitely paper.

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? a ramones t-shirt my dad bought me on a business trip once. (its the rocket to russia album)

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? I friggin hate my name, i wanna change it so bad but i dont know to what.

11. who is a mentor to you? i um.. dont have one?

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? I don’t know if I want to be famous, i’m very private person, but i guess if i had to maybe like a jenna/julien type of deal? like his aries kitchen series.

13. are you a restless sleeper? Very Much Yesss, I’m move so much.

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? no... i’ve never had the opportunity to be?

15. which element best represents you? I’d say fire. maybe?

16. who do you want to be closer to? probably a couple of people? i dont talk to many people? but physically? my best friend i miss her a lot.

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my best friend, audi and alex and thier dogs, and my pops.

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. a lot of my childhood wasn’t the greatest? so i dont remember a lot of it? but i guess the bedtime stories my dad would tell

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? fried kool-aid with powdered sugar from the south carolina state fair.

20. what are you most thankful for? um.. being able to have a place to sleep/and food?

21. do you like spicy food? ohhhhh yes, its all i grew up on. audi’s ma is chinese and she cooked the best food all the time. and gave me sooo much.

22. have you ever met someone famous? Not that i remember

23. do you keep a diary or journal? i’ve tried several times, but i stop pretty fast, because i have nothing to say or the way i write starts to piss me off.

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? Mechanical pencils

25. what is your star sign? Aries babbey.

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy? um... i know that maybe the crunch would be hard on some peeps teeth, but not in my house.(crunchy)

27. what would you want your legacy to be? i dont tend to think that far ahead.

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? i wish i did? its really hard for me to find a book that will hold my attention, and audio books are not a fun time for me because some sounds/voices i cant handle like that.

29. how do you show someone you love them? im definitely more of physical/small gestures kinda person. i’ll buy/make them little gifts, or offer cuddles (if they’re cool with touch) that type of stuff

30. do you like ice in your drinks? very little if at all, i only drink water, hot tea/coffee, and i dont like iced tea/coffee at all so.

31. what are you afraid of? um... nothing really that i can think of

32. what is your favorite scent? im very sensitive to smells, but i really like this sandlewood body wash i have.

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? soooo... i grew up in the south-south. so it was always yes ma’am, no sir, mr. smith, ms. jones. like even if someone was like call me betty or whatever it was weird to do that. but i’m slowly getting away from that since i moved away.

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d really like to help people, not sure in what capacity but yeah.

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? i did grow up about 40 mins from the ocean and would go there all the time. the water was gross and i wish the waves had been better, i’ve always wanted to surf proper. so ocean i guess.

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? probably see if someone comes back for it? prob give it toward food or something for someone

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? okay so audi’s house was prefect for star gazing and we’d do it all the time and we saw a couple over the years, and got torn up by misquitos.

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? dont want kids, but i’ll prob be a godparent eventually so just to be happy and comfortable with themselves.

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I have several but the next one I want to get the doom symbol with my pop’s birthday (probably in roman numeral cause that look best) and whenever he passes his death date. a little morbid but ive always wanted that cause its his fav game.

40. what can you hear now? animal crossing, netflix (hannibal) and my smuckers pb&j wrapper lol (strawberry ofc)

41. where do you feel the safest? uh... my room sometimes?

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? a lot i dont wanna talk about.

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? the 70s/80s to go to some concerts i guess

44. what is your most used emoji? im on pc so i have no clue, but the shaka sign 

45. describe yourself using one word. sarcastic

46. what do you regret the most? there was a girl and we didnt have a lot of time together because i was leaving and i hurt her i think, i apologized later but that doesnt make it okay so yeah i hope shes doing okay.

47. last movie you saw? I watched the new animated Scoob! movie. i loved itt, scooby doo is my shit always.

tagging: i dont know i dont wanna bother folks, if you see this and it catches your fancy :)

[lonyaledata]

The salvation of Christianity

The Roman ambassador, in Judea was secretely called "I - government", and was living in the temple that was located in the holy city. He was a proud

"single" and a "virgin" that never slept with any women. He was a wanker, that sexually was disappointing. One Judean left winger, a father of a woman, decided to "help him" and to give birth to his son, so he won't disappoint anymore. He told his daughter his secret nickname, "I=gov", and asked her to seduce him, by flattery, and then when he will wank off, to collect his sperm and fertilize herself. She started to hornify the ambassador, and after a few days of flattery the ambassador "broke" and exited his temple, and wanked off. She took his sperm and put in herself. Eventually a son was born, however, the father of the woman, was concerned that he will be punished, because the boy was born without the ambassador awareness, and he decided to conceal the boy, and the story of his birth. They made a circumcision, and told that the boy was just a "Jewish" bastard. Gradually he started rebelling, and said that there is a real "God", and a "False God". "God" is goverment, and government make prophecy of the "future", however not all prophecies come true, and the "disappointing government" is the "false God", and the governement which truely predicts the future, is the "true God". Cheasus was not aware that "God is Government", which are just extalling and "play god", however he talked in favor of his father, the ambassador. The Judean government decided to get rid of the young man who call them "false god", and prove that if they predict his crucifiction, "it happens". He is only a Jew, and nothing will prevent his death, thought the Judean government, the Senedryon. The crucifiction was to find the bastard's real father, and he will be insulted by the crucifiction of his boy, even if he is not aware of his existence. Father and child are emotionally connected, and that is why, usually, the circumcision was made to make sure the buy belongs to the supposed father. He is affected by the son's pain. When Jesus was crucified, the person who was found to be his father was the ambassador, "I=gov". And the soldiers were predicting the only possible future as a result: the destruction of Judea. The Governor, Pontius Pilatus, was meeting the ambassador, and the ambassador said: "Something is hitting me, who is on the cross?" -A bastard, Nazaretty. -Put him off the cross, said the ambassador, and Pontius ordered such way. The soldiers released Jesus and said "go and don't return". The ambassador said: "I was releived, however, I dont want any more prayers of this province. It seems like they bless me, and curse me, and I don't want my poison to be sweetened"."Tell them to put statues in the temple, because everybody knows that God is human, and "not made of stone". And pontius ordered to put statues in the temple. "What?! Statues?! said the Jews, it means that the Romans don't want our prayers! It means war will be! Cuz of cource God is a human, and not a "statue". Let's start the war first, and such way we will harm the Kaiser's feelings, and he might die and then the bigger war will be prevented. And attacked the small Roman force that was settled near the holy city. Pontius and the ambassador, escaped to Rome, by sea. Cheasus, met his students, and said, "I proved that I am son of God, however the false god is still hunting me, and thus I can't accompany you anymore, and leaving to live. And then the students said: "You wasted our time, and you are son of God. You wont get rid of us so fast, we will testify about you in a book. Jesus went away and the students wrote a book about him, "the new testimony". They also were hunted by the false Judean government, and so, escaped north, to the Byzantic Empire. The ambassador, was having nightmares, and the reason for that was unknown. The kings of all the empires wanted to solve the mystery of the ambassador's nightmares, and the Byzantian King met the Jeasus students and read their book. They told that in Judea there is a special young man, who is "son of God" and even escaped the cross. The Byzantian King said, it is good information, and went to the Roman empyre to tell the ambassador the story. He said: "Listen, the salvation of the nightmares is a such. In Judea you have a boy, and the the boy was crucified." -"But I am a virgin. I did not sleep with any woman", said the ambassador. "Remember well, said the Byzantian King, if you accidently wanked off outside of the residence, because there are children that are born of masturbation. And the ambassador said: "Yes, once. I went off the temple because I was so horny, and wanked off outside...And what?! Some bitch collected my sperm and gave birth to a boy?! And then they crucified him?! NOW!!!!Gather the legion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Conquer the Judea and destroy that province!!!!!!!!!!And bring me my boy!!!!! And by the way, tell him to sit on a donkey, because I was very horny when I wanked off that time. And then Judea was conquered. And Jesus was found in one of the villages, and was told by a soldier: "You, son of God, your father, the ambassador, wants to meet you. Sit on a donkey and ride with us to Rome". And then he met his father, who was already 98, and Jeasus was 67. The ambassador said: "You, I was imagining you all my life. You were born because I wanked off and that is why I told that you have to ride the donkey to meet me. However, I have sons that were born after sex, and they are like horses. And then Jesus went to meet his brothers. "The horses".

[narcissusanasui]

all of an 😎

*em. all of em. jesus christ.

god katie, fInE (but thanks, cherie, love yo

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Read Les Mis, watch Game of Thrones and Voltron, listen to folk rock (especially Phillip Phillips and Mumford & Sons)

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Never really thought about that, but the writing styles of Dickens, Doyle, and Austin always stick in my head so i guess them???

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

katie NO, that’s TOO MUCH. so i guess i’ll just give examples of the ones that i have actually thought about relating to:

Katara from A:tla was like THE strong female character of my childhood. Guarantee that she made me a feminist

Lance from Voltron because i spent way too much time like 4th grade through 11th worrying that i was that “seventh wheel” and thinking that i didn’t have a lot of skill and i wanna support my friends so yeah

Yuuri Katsuki from Yuri on Ice. look what the world did to this guy - he’s got anxiety

Ennoshita Chikara from Haikyuu because BOI I ALWAYS GET SHOVED INTO HAVING TO LEAD PEOPLE BUT IT TOOK ME YEARS TO UNDERSTAND IT

Sugawara Koushi from Haikyuu. i am the Mom Friend and i will fight you

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

i do like my name. my parents almost named me Colleen - which i don’t think fits, but then again i believe that we all grow to fit our names. i hated my last name as a little kid because no one would say it right (an issue that exists today too) and like when i started elementary school i straight up kept the spelling of it on a piece of paper in my pocket so i wouldnt mess up. now i love it and i think my name flows really well and if i get married i might not change it.

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

well i call myself a human being. and while my actions are important to me, thinking too much about what i do and what i couldve done gets me freaked out so instead i sit and just be. i’ll think calmly and exist

6. are you religious/spiritual?

im agnostic - raised Roman Catholic (but even then we werent strict about following it but i did do ccd and my sacraments so yeah). i want to believe that there is something but there just isnt enough solid evidence for me to be comfortable and if there is some god or force or something, i am a minuscule piece of the massive universe and that god wouldnt give a shit so why should they influence my decisions? i love religions tho. they have fascinating history and i love seeing all the similarites because it just shows how so many humans are all so similarly spiritual and through seeing those similarites it makes me feel more spiritual because i know my catholic upbringing shaped me as a person and i know that there has to be a deeper meaning behind the world’s religions being so connected

7. do you care about your ethnicity?

yes. im fifty shades of white, but the larger pieces of my background are the cultures that my family celebrate still today and they are what i identify as. im italian-irish-american with a polish last name and i will eat my cuisine and wear the Callahan family crest and hopefully make it to Avelino someday

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

i was raised on billy joel and elton john so their music is built into me with such a powerful level of nostalgia that i will feel like im back in my house before we repainted it and replaced the furniture and im dancing like an idiot to crocodile rock at age 4 again. PP and M&S hit my emotions hard since i first heard them, but M&S’s Sigh No More album will forever equal driving to chicago because we played that album and only that album the. whole. time. except at night because thats when billy joel comes out

9. are you an artist?

at the most basic definition yes. i make art for fun and relaxation through music and writing and doodling and crafts

10. do you have a creed?

i just want to be content with my life when i die. i want to know that i loved and supported people the best i could. so i guess always put the family first (family being whoever i deem to be in that category). and don’t be an asshole.

11. describe your ideal day.

not too hot or cold, like the temperature fall shouldve been. hiking a trail or mountain with changing leaves, watch some of my favorite shows, go to one of my favorite small restaurants.

12. dog person or cat person?

cat.

13. inside or outdoors?

inside

14. are you a musician?

yes

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

stoppppppp. Tale of Two Cities, Catch-22, Pride & Prejudice, Night, To Kill a Mockingbird

16. if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

nope. i grew up 30-60 minutes from some of the most important locations in american history. went to them way too many times as a kid so then when i was a teen i just snapped like “wait some people only come here once in their lives and thats why we have so many annoying tourists! because this kind of stuff ISNT NORMAL?!” and now im a history major so yeah

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

almost. i cant really be fully myself because that involves way too much of my personal life and im scared of accidentally pissing people off on the internet so there is a little bit more filter here

18. what’s your patronus?

i actually dont know because i lost my pottermore login forever ago so i never actually did that quiz

19. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

im ravenclaw with hufflepuff as my secondary, so im a ravenpuff, but ravenclaw is totally my main

20. would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?

Hogwarts or the world of Avatar (not the blue people one) - like after war when everything is chill and magical

21. do you love easily?

when i get attached to someone, good luck getting rid of me, im here for the long haul, so yes

22. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

listening to music, thinking about fictional stories i want to write, reading, watching videos, actually writing (whether that be my journal or my fiction or hw)

23. how often would you want to see your family every year?

as much as possible

24. have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

as when i felt perfectly in sync talking to someone? yes with my history prof and with my father

25. could you live as a hermit?

im an introvert but id miss my loved ones too much

26. how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

im cis female and im asexual (somewhere on the spectrum), my romantic attraction is something im still figuring out

27. do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

katie considering you figured me out basically on sight, yes

28. on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

5 or 6?

29. three songs that you connect with right now.

“Africa” by Toto because it’s still in my head. “Float On” by Modest Mouse. “Sound of Change” by Dirty Head.

30. pick one of your favorite quotes.

“I am the one thing in life I can control. I am inimitable. I am an original.” - said by Aaron Burr in Hamilton

katie i shouldve been finishing my essay

I would say send me a number but this is done now lol so go reblog it and join the fun

[shyloft]

u should answer the rest of the 21p questions

god…..damn it this is why you guys should just send me these questions bc u KNOW avia is gonna come in my ask and make me drop this big ass post. learn from this

what are your top five favorite songs by them at this moment?holding on to you, fall away, forest, trapdoor, we don’t believe what’s on tv

have you ever introduced them to a friend or family member, and they ended up being a fan as a result?yes omg!! i’ve turned a few of my like….occasional listener friends into actual fans and i introduced my roommate to them and she really likes them?? she drew me josh for my bday like a few weeks after i love her

have you met any amazing friends because of twenty one pilots? tag them!@chalupacabras @slampoety @stalk-softly @vesselbf I HAVE MORE TREASURED MUTUALS!! I DO AND I LOVE YOU ALL BUT these ppl are the ones i talk to like….a lot. and i also have some AMAZING friends irl who i became much better friends with once we started bonding over 21pwhat other musical artists have you found because of twenty one pilots?FINISH TICKET BITCH OHHHH MY GOD i didnt get to see them live but all my friends did and my best friend played them in the car all the time so? thanks josh and tyler for bringing me finish ticketreese’s puff or waffle crisps?ive never had waffle crisps in my life but josh did get them rush delivered from amazon to my venue for my first show and made tyler put it in the trees speech and ruined my and courtney’s crying partywhat’s your favorite tattoo of tyler’s?i was going to say the cross and hourglass on his chest but when i googled them just now i found out that his roman numerals on his arm were his first tattoo and i almost cried because MY FIRST TATTOO WAS MY ROMAN NUMERALS? I DIDNT EVEN KNOW wow

what’s your favorite tattoo of josh’s?MOM

do you have any of their merch?yes unfortunately i spent a lot of fucking money on the uglyass ers 2016 shirt, the cute ers clique tank with the skull, the tdc hoodie, and the poster for the tdc nationwide show

which of their songs make you feel happy or “pumped”?ride, holding on to you, tear in my heart!! this list was longer until i thought about their lyrics i hate them

which of their songs calm you down?dude none of them what i’m either going hard or crying if it calms me down its only bc its like. the act of listening to the band in general was used to calm me down all of their songs can make me cry if they try hard enough

which of their songs make you feel sad, if any?all of them bitch. but goner especially. goner from blurryface gives me a special sad but goner from no phun intended should be illegal to play anywhere ever its the most upsetting thing tyler has ever made in his entire life i cant believe he put those fucking sound effects in it god i cant even think about it

what’s your favorite song off of no phun intended?not goner or tb saga they can both fuck offwould you ever consider being tyler or josh for halloween? what would the costume be like?no. i want to do a fever you cant sweat out panic! at the disco with friends that is my dream halloween costumewhat do you order at chipotle?corn in hand

any theories or hopes for the new album?MORE JOSH BACKUP VOCALS

who’s the tyler to your josh (or josh to your tyler)? tag them!im just a tyler looking for her josh and once i find them we’re getting married. but if ur asking who my best friends are they’re courtney @qodcomplex who never uses this site ever and savannah @sirrupybuzzard who lives here. we’re all friends we arent collectively best friends but. both of them are my best friends i dont think i ever told savannah that so guess whatwould you rather be attacked by 100 chicken-sized horses, or 1 horse-sized chicken?100 chicken sized horses but like why did they pick this question over the nipple-sized penis or penis-sized nipples oneHave you ever seen donnie darko? what about fight club? what did you think?no i havent seen either because im a fake film fan but i love jake gyllenhaal and i know fight club is gay so i pick fight clubwhich album era best describes your “aesthetic”?UHHHH NONE OF THEM if we’re talking about them collectively as an era like the whole thing none of them all are bad

what’s your favorite music video and why?holding on to you is their absolute best video because 1.) theres no concert footage 2.) the dancers 3.) the visuals of the hands clawing at tyler’s face 3.) the theatrics 4.) the black and white 5.) the noose to leash thing 6.) the transistions from being skeletons to real live people i just. every single thing in that video is perfect even if josh has the bad hair. its still not the worst josh music video hair. we all know what hair i mean. why didnt his family tell him

have you seen them live before? do you have plans to in the future?yes i’ve seen them 3 times (ers16 stl, ers17 little rock, tdc nationwide) and i plan on going to another hometown show if the date falls during my summer/winter break and i AM going to get ga for the next show in my city. im not fucking around. i’ve never been in the pit and i’m doing it im getting pit tickets and im camping out this IS happening i cant die without that experience im not kidding

are you a redbull person or a starbucks coffee person?red bull as of like a week ago fuck you tyler that shit is so good

favorite quote of tyler’s?“yeah my best friend is actually the Lord so yeah.”

favorite quote of josh’s?“I can’t believe how great this photo is my crops are flourishing my skin is clear the worlds order is restored i have 20/20 vision my grades are up I’m sleeping soundly at night i am sh00k”