#could you bls be a bit softer rn

[astrozones]

Sanders Behavioral Health, Chapter 4: Mother Logan

three hours bouta be gone

discord for only the truest Lads. gender dont matter- Astro’s Zone

Three hours.

Fifteen minutes.

Another hour.

Another break.

And so on and so forth, until it was exactly 8:45 p.m. and Logan would get ready for bed, and when 9:00 came around he would ideally be sleeping, no electronic devices in sight.

It was the perfect schedule for a weekend of study. And Logan sure did need it, he was only a couple months ahead in the curriculum, which was a month less than where he should be right now.

But just as Logan sat down to start, his phone chimed. Logan was 100% prepared to ignore it, but the voice told him he had to pick it up. The metaphorical voice, of course. Now that he knew how to identify it, he knew it was either his OCD or anxiety, and oftentimes both.

Logan stared at the book in front of him, not moving in the slightest. He knew it was stupid, he didn’t have to check anything. But, he could still anxiety rushing through his body.

He picked up the phone and went through his texts, feeling relief almost instantaneously.

FamILY!

{ We should all hang out today!!! }

[ Wait whend the chat name change ]

| like last night roman where were you |

[ Sleeping??? ]

| sleep? who’s she never heard of her |

[ And going back to Patton i am free today ]

{ Yay!!!! }

| my parents are gonna force me to do homework if I don’t, so sure |

{ !!!! }

{ Logan? }

{ We can see you’re online!! }

( I’m afraid I am busy today. I’m studying. )

{ I thought you were ahead in the class?? }

( Yes, I am. But I am not where I want to be. )

{ Aw, Logan!! You should take time to not overwork yourself!!! }

( I do. And I was under the impression that you were busy this weekend. )

[ And i oop- ]

| i can’t believe roman’s a vsco girl |

[ sksksksk ]

| that wasn’t an invitation. |

{ I am for most of the day!! I was thinking we could have a sleepover!!!! ^-^ }

| wait so i do have to do my homework? |

| i’m willing to do it if it means i get to punch roman when he acts like a vsco girl again |

[ Id like to see you try ]

{ I would very much prefer there to be no punching, but it’s great to see you’re both in!!! }

{ And Logan? }

( ... )

( I suppose I can think about it. )

{ OMG YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! }

{ We have the whole famILY :3!!! }

| huh I thought roman would’ve had something to say about that. |

{ I do have some bad news though ;-; }

{ My parents are repainting our living room and don’t wanna risk anyone messing it up :( }

{ So I was wondering if either of you were willing to host? Not Logan because he’s still considering it }

| ugh i should’ve been more picky about it and I wouldn't have to go through this |

| well my room’s too messy and it’d take more than the day to clean |

{ Well, Roman??? }

{ Roman?????????? }

[ Wait what ]

[ Sorry one of my posters fell down and i had to fix it ]

[ Lemme read through the chat ]

| lmao |

[ … ]

[ asdkfldsaihateyouvirgildksfl i suppose i can do it ]

| hey i see that |

[ My parents are out for the weekend so yea ]

{ !!!! YAY!!!!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! }

-- --

Logan’s anxiety was yelling at him once more, telling him he needed to put the phone down. Ever compliant to the voice, he put it in a drawer under the desk. A little unnecessary, sure, but it made him feel better.

Logan shook his head, the voice driving into him once more. He was off-schedule! That’s 10 minutes of studying, wasted . He was certainly going to fail, all it would take was one set off his system and he’d get addicted to the freedom it promised.

He took out his pencil, and arranged the books around him to be exactly how he wanted. If it wasn’t, it would be unbalanced, and that certainly wouldn’t do.

Because everyone knows you can’t study unless you have a perfect workspace.

Right?

--

Logan was outside his house, door in front of his face. He huffed.

His parents had kicked him out for a couple hours, telling him he had to go outside for once instead of staying holed up in his study room.

They didn’t get it.

They didn’t get why it was wrong .

According to them, Ramona Steers, a staff from Sanders, had told them all the ins and outs of what they needed to help Logan get better, and that making him go outside was one of them.

Originally, they said he’d have to be out for 5 hours, but once he told them about the sleepover situation, they had agreed to take an hour off.

So, he was going to a sleepover, he had 4 hours outside, $100 to spend as he wished, and nowhere to go.

--

Logan walked into the popular local café, The Lolapad, known for it’s fantastic drinks, welcoming aesthetic, and it’s kind owner, Lola Adams.

Lilo was at the counter today, alongside her coworker… Patton?! Logan narrowed his eyes, Patton had never talked about a job, and Logan was a frequent visitor to The Lolapad. Logan knew he had to question him about it.

Well, once he got through this excruciatingly long line, anyway.

The only downside to The Lolapad was its popularity. With it being this early in the morning, it was full of daytime workers preparing for the long day ahead of them. Logan sighed.

He admired the decorations. The floor was a deep blue, to mimic water. The tables were designed like lilypads, and the chairs had a flower pattern. The walls were purple, with painted vines crawling up in some corners of the room.

The ceiling decor was the most impressive, though. Soft, blue lights and glass hung on wires from the ceiling, almost like bubbles flying towards the sky. There was no competition that would ever pass The Lolapad, at least not anywhere nearby.

He recognized a few students lounging in chairs, mostly consisting of the upbeat, extroverted club members.

And, if he was right, one Vanessa Cordill, with her boyfriend, Jace Lendell.

God, he despised Vanessa. She had been a huge bully in the past, only stopping after he stopped reacting to it. Logan hardly had anything to do in class, having learned all of this in his own time, and his teachers would yell at him the moment he picked up a book to study ahead of the curriculum. So, seeing what his classmates were doing was the only interesting option.

And oh, Logan saw .

He was never one for gossip, but he remembered so many things.

And most of it had to do with Vanessa.

Like that time she had snuck a gun into the bag of the boy beside her- Victor Jackson. Victor was taller, and larger, and had a mean-looking face. For anyone who got to know him, though, he was very sweet, and hated hurting people.

Victor was expelled the next day.

Logan had, of course, defended Victor. But Vanessa was convincing, lying her way through her nice girl act until the principal was convinced.

So, Logan did what he did best. He collected evidence. And, once he felt as though he had enough, he would report her.

But until then, he was forced to stand by and watch as Vanessa got to do whatever she wanted.

She was like a villain out of a bad movie, or a crappy fanfiction.

“Oh, Logan!” Patton’s voice dragged him out of his thoughts. Logan was at the front of the line, apparently. “I didn’t expect to see you here!”

“Neither did I,” he responded. “When did you start working here?”

“Oh, no, I don’t usually work here! Jessalyn asked me to replace her today, well, she asked last week- so I’m working here for a couple hours! Lola was okay with it, she’s really nice y’know? And-”

“Are you getting paid?” Logan asked. It would be rather selfish of Jessalyn to keep all of the money, at least in his opinion.

Patton shook his head. “Nuh-uh. But I’m okay with it though! I like helping people. Now, what can I get ya?”

--

Logan found himself on a swing at an empty park. He had finished his drink, and was now letting himself go back, and forth, back, and forth. He wasn’t the biggest fan of attempting to do anything… potentially dangerous, but he found softly letting himself go back and forth was a good way to collect his thoughts.

The birds chirped in the background as the sun shone above him. Everything was as it should be, but he couldn’t stay too long at the risk of getting a sunburn.

He heard a text come in, and he pulled out his phone.

FamILY!

{ If your son gets burnt by the sun, is it a sonburn? }

-- --

Logan smiled slightly as the replies came in from his friends, all exclamations of distaste as Patton sent a plethora of emojis, that mostly being-

Oh.

Wait.

His friends .

…

Hm.

Not that he was against that, of course, but the immediate reaction of calling them his friends was, well, a little unnerving. He had always been the quiet one, and had a few friends in the past, though they had all moved away to other towns or cities or whatever . He didn’t care.

And if his new friends did the same, he would be okay with that. Yes, he would definitely be okay with that. If they cared, they would contact him, and if they didn’t, he was okay with that. There was no use fighting it, after all that would only give him more time to study.

As it should be.

He put his phone away, no use replying, as he had already agreed to go to their sleepover.

He heard giggling from behind him. He was brought back to the real world, only to find that he had slowed to a stop. Logan turned his head around.

There stood a small being, maybe 6-7 years old, and definitely a child. He had a light brown mop of hair on his head, and donned a red-black-green coat and tiara. He stood to face… it.

“Hi! I’m Adrian!” the kid said, stuttering over the ‘r’. “What’s- did you just get done from a- a-

‘businesses’ meeting or somethin?”

Logan looked down at himself. He wasn’t even wearing a tie today… he had a simple black button-up shirt, and jeans. What about this screamed ‘professional’?

“No,” was all he said in response.

“Are you- are you gonna go to a businesses meeting?”

“No. I’m still in high school.” At this, the miniature human named Adrian grinned, and he could practically see the metaphorical sparkles.

“That’s so cool! I’m only in firs’ grade, but Mommy says I’m gonna be 7 in-” Adrian started counting on his fingers. “15 months!”

“What… do you mean 15 days?” he asked, it was either that or 15 weeks. Adrian nodded excitedly. What he was excited for, Logan couldn’t tell.

“YEAH! I’m gonna be so smart!” Adrian boasted, causing Logan to smile slightly. “Do you wanna come play wif me?”

“I- er-” he was cut off as the 6-year-old grabbed his hand and tugged him along towards a large willow tree.

“I’m gonna show you my friend- her name is Joy! She has two dads, isn’t that so cool! Some people make funs of her for it- but I find it cool! She’s really funny, there she is!” He pointed towards a girl, presumably 6 as well, in a princess costume, and very red hair.

“JOY! I FOUNDS US A FRIEND FOR OUR TEA PARTY!” hold on, tea party ?!

“It’s Princess Joy now,” the girl stated, surprisingly strict for someone so small. “Who is he?”

“Dis is Logan!” Adrian said, adding in a whispered, “he’s a buisnesses man”

“Hold on-” Logan tried. He suddenly found the purple princess in front of him, eyebrow raised. Was he about to get judged by a child?

“Hmm,” Joy said, looking him up and down before nodding. “He may stay.”

She turned around and strutted back to where she was sitting before. She dusted off her skirt before plopping down on the ground, gesturing for them to sit near her.

“We don’t have an actual table, so we gotta pretend.” Adrian whispered to him before skipping over and sitting near Joy. Logan reluctantly joined them.

“Princess Adrian, may you please pour the tea?” Joy instructed. Adrian nodded, miming the actions of pouring.

“Princess?”

“Yes, Peasant Logan,” Logan jerked his head back, this kid - “Princess is longer than prince so’s it’s better than a prince. Princess Adrian and me are both princesses.”

“Prince and princess are equal titles.” Logan said. Joy actually looked offended .

“Impossible.”

“Yeah!” Adrian chimed in, sitting himself down in his spot. “Everyone knows that.”

“But-”

“Princess Adrian! That’s rude, Logan’s a peasant so he didn’t know.” Joy said, taking a ‘sip’ of imaginary tea.

“Oh! Sorrys Logan.” Adrian’s voice lowered, and if Logan was right he was on the verge of tears?

“Er… It’s okay Adri- Princess Adrian.”

Adrian brightened. “YAAAY!” he cheered, getting up and bouncing around him. Logan didn’t know what to do-

“That is not princess behavior, Princess Adrian.” Joy said, turning up her nose. Adrian looked confused.

“It isn’t?”

“Princesses are more quiet. I’m 7, so I know better.”

“I’m 17,” Logan cut in. Joy turned to him.

“And? You’re still a peasant, Logan. I don’t makes the rules,” Joy put her cup of tea down. “I only knows them.”

Logan was about to respond, when-

“Woah, hey what’s going on here?” another voice said. Turning around, Logan saw Roman enter their little… area behind the leaves. He sighed.

Adrian gasped from beside him, nearly tripping over his feet in order to get to Roman. He peered up at him.

“Are yous a prince?” He asked, practically vibrating where he stood. Roman scoffed.

“Of course I am, I’m Prince Roman! I just lost my crown.” Roman announced. Adrian glanced at Joy, who nodded, causing Adrian to smile.

“I’m Princess Adrian! That’s,” he turned back around to point at Joy and Logan. “Princess Joy and Peasant Logan.” Roman, the bastard, hid his giggles behind his hand. Logan glared.

“Peasant Logan didn’t knows that princesses are higher than princes cause princess is longer. That’s true, right?” He asked, dragging Roman along to sit with them. Roman looked at Logan, smug.

“Of course! It’s common knowledge! For shame, Logan!” Roman exclaimed as he sat.

“For shame!” Adrian repeated. Logan groaned, shoving his face into his hands. This is not how he thought his day would go.

He felt a small hand pat his knee, and he looked up to see Joy looking at him with a sympathetic frown.

“It’s okay, Logan. Not all of us can be royalty.” She said, before returning to her princess persona and commanding, “Princess Adrian, would you may please pour Prince Roman some tea?”

Adrian nodded, standing up and dashing around the ‘table’ to give Roman his… ‘tea’.

“Thank you, Princess Adrian, I am forever in your debt.” Roman mock bowed from his sitting position. Adrian giggled before returning to Joy.

“Once we are done with our tea, we shall help you find your crown, Prince Roman.” Joy said before taking another sip.

“Of course. Thank you, Your Highness,” Roman faked taking a sip of his tea. “I must say, this tea is quite delicious! I commend your skills, Princess Joy.”

Joy preened at the praise, resituating the tiara on her head. “Thank you, Prince Roman. It is greatly appra- appre- appreciated.”

Minutes of his free time went by as they all mimed sipping tea and making small talk. Well, all except Logan. That quickly changed once Joy prompted him to start drinking, with Adrian and Roman piping up in agreement. Begrudgingly, Logan followed through.

Eventually, Joy stood up and announced that they had all finished their tea, and had to search for Roman’s crown. Logan argued that Roman’s crown didn’t exist. Joy said he was just a peasant and didn’t know what he was talking about. That shut Logan up pretty quick.

So, he was dragged around on the search for a crown he was certain didn’t exist. Joy separated them into teams, Roman and Joy on one, Logan and Adrian on the other. She said her reasoning was ‘one to search and one to protect’, with both her and Adrian on the search side.

Logan silently followed Adrian around as he set out to find it, looking in the places it couldn’t even be at times.

“Logan!” Adrian whispered, tugging on his sleeve. “Logan look! Issa bunny.”

And it was. A cream colored rabbit was frozen staring at them, ready to move at any sudden movement. Hm, that reminded him of Virgil… or was that rude?

He watched as Adrian slowly crept up on the rabbit. Logan looked around to find Joy and Roman. He saw Joy’s bright purple dress… in a tree? Roman was right next to her, carefully following to catch her if she fell while she was searching the tree.

He turned once more to Adrian, only to find him cuddling the bunny. Odd… if it were wild, it would have bolted the moment he came too close, so this one must be socialized. He walked towards Adrian and the rabbit.

Adrian smiled at him as he approached.

“I named him Jerry!” Adrian whispered, extending the rabbit towards Logan. “Wanna pet ‘im?”

Logan reached out to Jerry, only to jump back when it tried to bite him.

“Bad Jerry! Don’t bite people!” Adrian reprimanded the animal, as if it were a dog and not a clearly aggressive rabbit.

Well, at least when they brought it over to the other two it attempted to bite them, so at least it wasn’t exclusively Logan. It seemed to only like Adrian, to Adrian’s delight and Joy’s distaste. They were quickly corralled into a game of House by Joy, the quest for Roman’s crown forgotten.

Joy claimed herself as the father, saying, “I have two dads so I have to be the dad!”. Both Roman and Adrian nodded in agreement at her claim. She pointed to Logan.

“You shall be the mom!”

“ What- ”

“You act like a mom so you are a mom.” She cut him off, turning to Adrian and Roman for confirmation. They both agreed, Roman looking amused at Logan’s sneer.

“I’ll be the kid!” Adrian announced. Joy nodded and pointed to Roman.

“You can be the dog! Because you remind me of the golden dogs.” She said. Logan would’ve laughed if he hadn’t been put in a worse situation. Roman nodded, looking determined.

“Woof,” was all he said. Joy nodded once more.

“Perfect.”

—

So Logan found himself playing a game of House, something he hadn’t done in years . He interacted as little as they would let him, dear god if another student came and saw him like this, he wouldn’t survive.

He ended up there for far longer than he had wanted, a total of 6 hours since he was kicked out. Yet he was reluctant to leave, he knew it would break the kids hearts if he did.

He was finally freed from his metaphorical prison when a voice called,

“Adrian! Come on, we gotta drop off Joy at her dads’ house!” A woman called. Logan glanced at Adrian.

“Is that your mom?” he asked. Adrian nodded, turning to the two older men. He gave them both hugs, first Logan, then Roman. He even gave Roman his tiara, saying he was sorry they couldn’t find his crown, and he had more tiaras at home. He turned as Joy stood up and they both sprinted towards Adrian’s mom, well, only after Adrian had picked up Jerry.

Both of the remaining boys watched, amused, as Adrian seemed to argue with his mother before she gave up and let Jerry in the car. Before Adrian got in the car, though, he turned to the boys.

“Bye-bye Logan! Bye-bye Prince Roman!” he shouted, before disappearing into the car.

“So,” Roman started, and Logan mentally prepared to be poked fun at.

“See you at my house in a couple hours?” Logan blinked, once, twice, before he realized that he wasn’t being made fun of for playing with children for several hours. Well, he supposed that made sense, as Roman had done the same.

“Uh… sure.” Was all he said before making his way back home.

—

Logan was stressed, to say the least, when he got home. His parents were happy that he stayed out for longer than they had offered, but all Logan’s mind would acknowledge was that he went off schedule. He was going to be so behind, this is why you don’t go off schedule, Logan! You get looped into it, and you’ll never get out of it.

He dedicated the rest of his free time to studying.

As it should be.