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quirkle2 · 6 months ago

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I was wondering if there are any rare happy ritsu moments in ur zombie au since hes always miserable I think,, like is he always miserable or is he happy/not miserable and feeling kinda good sometimes?

VWHDGDGD NO YEAH OFC HE'S HAPPY SOMETIMES im just horrible and enjoy putting him through misery

ive never been able to get a genuine smile to look right on his face in my art style either i think thats part of it. as ive said his face is just built to be mildly uncomfortable and bothered and i lean into it sm it's starting to get kinda funny

but yes ritsu is happy plenty! i think, canonically, he just seems like the type of person to me that tends to turn lemonade back into lemons. he's easy to scare and his first reaction to things is often Dread and Anxiety. he dwells on the negatives a lot and seems to be a "hope for the best, expect the worst," kinda guy, but there's a section in this post abt shigeo always loving the little things in life, and ritsu steadily learns throughout the journey on how to do that and how healing it can rly be. even if he had to grow up too fast during this whole thing and learn things a kid should never have to, the journey also gave him some good insight and lessons in other places! ritsu is smart, he figures it all out

in terms of little things here n there he's the happiest lil guy on the planet when he finds one of his favorite foods—swings his legs while he sits and munches on a kitkat bar like he's got absolutely nothin in the world to worry abt. sometimes mob does smth funny that he laughs at; for the longest time i've had this silly image in my head of mob accidentally knocking down a bucket from a store shelf and it lands on his head and he just kinda stands there and makes noises.when the noises continue out of pure curiosity about the weird echoey quality it's giving them ritsu cannot help but lose it

besides tiny things tho, when tome comes around ritsu in general is a lot happier, just cuz he has somebody to talk to that will actually respond in some way. they're sorta reluctant partners in crime at first (at least on ritsu's end) but over time and over bonding they grow to rly like each other's presence. they bicker constantly but it's almost always fond eventually, and they shove each other and playfight until mob gets antsy enough to get worked up about it. rly, tome is a godsend to ritsu's mental health—after months and months of being effectively alone with his thoughts, he finally has another person to converse with. a person His Age, too!

tome is rly good at knowing when ritsu is thinkin himself into oblivion and she's Also rly good at being the most annoying girl on the planet to yank him outta that and replace any misery with Oh My God Get Off Me You Freak. she doesn't even do this on purpose at first, but over time she learns how to tell when he's thinking too hard and, ofc, she's grown attached and she cares, so she's as obnoxious as possible to lighten the mood

when they find reigen n teru, ritsu gradually gets Much happier still. now that he knows they're safe and the gang is finally back together (and now that there's an Adult present and he can relax a lil and let himself be taken care of) his stress levels r exponentially lowered. having teru back is another instant lift to his mood—im always a big fan of teru and ritsu friendship, and i think adding tome to their dynamic simply makes it more chaotic. truly a trio of the 3 most normal teenagers in existence which will surely bring nothing but good (reigen sweats offscreen)

actually this makes me feel bad for forever torturing him im gonna go draw happy zau ritsus brb ,.,.ok imback <3

#qktalks #anon #zombie au #tw guns #<- for that glock in the corner . sorry #actually it looks like he's at gunpoint in that one and just going teehee about it #he looooooves tormenting tome .and tome loves tormenting him. it's their favorite pastimes #i don't rly like the second one too much tbh the sleeves are weird but i think that's just the Nature of how poofy they can get #oh this is a great time to talk abt their dynamic. sorry.this ask isn't abt that.but now it is #so i realize that tome and ritsu ??? don't rly interact in canon at all. and neither do tome and teru . as a matter of fact #but consider. uhm.what ifthey did <3 GVYIEAV #like i said they're all So incredibly normal it'll make for a great time #^ genuinely i do think so actually. most of the time anyway #i touched on it a lil bit in recondite but i rly like the idea of mob ritsu tome and teru all being a friend group #teru would undoubtedly piss tome off sometimes she'd call him out on his bullshit #but like.in terms of the canon timeline i think post-mob teru would Totally listen to her #and take what she says abt How he is into consideration. he's trying to rebuild himself into somebody better #teru and ritsu already have a dynamic in canon but it feels pretty loose and it isn't fully explored at all #i think they work together rly well tho. there's no real evidence to the contrary iirc i think they work together in canon quite well #they think alike in terms of fighting #and in a setting like this‚ once teru is on the same page as ritsu on zombies‚ they're prolly a pretty damn good team #there's a lot of room for things to go wrong tho #if i had to sum it up rly succinctly it'd be: ritsu's motive is fear‚ tome's motive is curiosity‚ and teru's motive is power #what i mean by teru's being power is Not the pre-mob teru ''wanting'' to be powerful and unstoppable #i mean teru wants to have power over everything that is trying to hurt them #he doesn't Want to cower he wants to Fight tooth and nail #and i think ritsu's fear versus tome's curiosity and teru's drive of power conflicts a lot #ritsu is passive in the sense that he'll do anything in his power to avoid altercations with anything to order to keep mob safe #he isn't Active until something goes Wrong. and usually things go Wrong when teru and tome rush ahead #WOW sorry i went on a rant that was Completely unrelated to the fucking question. im at the 30 tag limit bye

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anaalnathrakhs · 8 months ago

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it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.

mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.

#''we should talk abt it uwu'' WE TALKED ABOUT IT. STOP COMPLAINING THAT DOING STUFF THAT I CAN'T EASILY HANDLE MAKES ME WEIRD.#EITHER YOU ASSUME IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW AND WHY #OR YOU STOP DOING IT IF IT'S SO UWU HEARTBREAKING UWU FOR YOU TO WATCH #i'm not happy about how guilty i am too of that specific brand of ''oh this is so sad *continues doing nothing*'' form of ''compassion''#they just want me to perform anorexia recovery for them #so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child #they don't give a shit as long as the compusive eating is my mom's meal at the dinner table #just like they didnt care when i had roughly the same problems but not as bad before i had a restrictive phase #i cannot compromise because then WHAT im just hurting my parents for a situation that doesnt make me any happier either?#i do not want to live with them. i do not want to go place or do activities with them.#i dont want to talk to them most of the time and im perfectly willing to handle the times it could be cool to.#but it's really hard to start developping a life of your own when you first of all need like two weeks of total life-reset #quiet at home #and ''at home'' there's your parents who will simply not stop trying to pull you into going random bullshit places #and i can't say no. because the places ARE interesting and time-limited. and it makes them happy. and what am i gonna do anyway?#keep doing nothing on the computer and wait for them to come back to keep doing only the shittiest parts of this unsatisfactory routine?#try to do some work in the house or go out. for them to see that something happened?#i dont know how to live like a normal person #literally not once in my life have i been able to think ''oh i need to do X'' and then just. do X. prepare what's necessary for doing X.#go out and do X. i have to keep stuck at this computer or in this room or with this book.#because there is a million different obstacles to every single thing i'm trying to achieve and half of them are parents-shaped.#everything hurts holy shit #broadcasting my misery #vent #ed tw

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gurorori · 10 months ago

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i will be a hater for a minute. i hate the whole 'ohh i was too mature for my age as a kid but now i'm immature as an adult' cause never once have i seen anyone talk about the case where you were never mature. i never at all felt it or was on the same level with our peers at any point in life and that's a very different experience. the very few things we were into as a kid/teen were always juxtaposed with the things others were doing that were wiser and more sensible and more in touch with. whatever expectations are in place and whatever is gauged as mature

#MAKING IT VERY CLEAR RN NO HATE 2 PPL WHO DO FEEL REPRESNTED BY THOSE 😭 but that's all i ever see #'make yr own post abt it then' idont think i will. im not one to start these conversations im just saying with how common That statement is #its weird that no one ever talks abt This one #but i suppose theres not many of us #idk. at least ya got 2 feel jus a bit superior over others n feel a bit more 'grown' (ik its all bullshit but yk. it can b flatterin 2 hear)#me? i been team idiot since da start. idid not progress i did not improve i did not regress im just. stuck oh mt gawd im actually losing it #i actually cant handlw myseld or this life im actually breakin down so bad LOL #ok im ok. anyway im just. this is similar 2 lile 'oh my trauma made me Stronger/mature for my age/wtv' all sams thing and #wr have literally never got to experience that either. we are literally incapacitated by our trauma we are meek and lifeless and so so #afraid and helpless and dependent to the point even escaping the environment is an insurmountable task #no one talks about thia though why does bo one talk about this ...#im like if a 21yo girl was mentally age 7

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festivalofthe12 · 6 months ago

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mmmmmmmmmmmmmm when it comes to Kyou I sometimes worry if I'm being too hard on him through like a certain kind of projection, right

but. I can't be... the only one to think there's at least..a little bit of a...victim complex in him, right...?

WHICH: to clarify straight up, he was treated awfully and never deserved any of that, and is all-around 100% a victim who's right to think of himself as such. All of that is correct!!!!!!

but. The whole STORY. is that the cat is the one animal who gets exiled. The one 'bad' one. The one who's ostracised.

And with that comes a certain... I mean, it's a bit easier to think of yourself as the victim, when that's the way everyone frames it, right? That you're the one who's been hard done by? That everyone else has it out for you? That to make things right, everything should be inverted, so everyone apologises and bows down to him for once???

Especially with Yuki. And, again to be fair, Yuki is not at ALL immune to minimising the shit that Kyou's been dealt with because it's often the inverse of what happened to Yuki and that envy is toxic and because Yuki was raised to think that way and also just because Kyou is annoying to him personally hahah.

But. Yuki knows about Kyou's True Form. Kyou... doesn't actually know what happened between Yuki and Akito. And psychologically, there's a hell of lot to benefit him if he reaaaaaally doesn't think about it.

So. Am I being biased to think that, all things considered, Kyou is more dismissive of Yuki's struggles? And that even up through the end of the manga, he still sorta... doesn't really entirely get it?? (At least from what I remember... which is little........)

But here's where I feel like I'm projecting because. My experiences are WAY more like Yuki: pushing things down, trying to do the right thing, feeling like you're just supposed to be grateful for what you have because you've been so privileged. And people who match the sorta description I have of Kyou above have kinda. screwed me up mentally in a lot of ways hahahahahahhhh.

so. I know it's such a cliche thing to have people learn about what Yuki's been through and be so Shocked and Comforting and ooo weepy uke Yuki or what ever (ever notice how nobody ever gets mad at the smug asshole seme stereotype?? HMM.) and I know I might just be biased against Kyou, because of all that IRL stuff and also because early in fandom people kind of did IIRC act like Kyou was right about everything and Yuki not that far off from how Kyou saw him. but.

IDK there's always a part of me that just. keeps thinking up scenarios where Kyou like. still doesn't entirely gets it. and gets called out a bit, or proven wrong.

and maybe that's really dumb or childish of me hahahah;;;;;

#that's it that's the post. there's no point to it im just like. what if I did these things is that bad maybe.#and. to clarify AGAIN. i do think Kyou legit cares abt Yuki by the end #has grown a bit more than yuki in that respect #cause yuki always pitied Kyou. and I mean that in a morally neutral way. he always knew things sucked for him.#he just. was too caught up in his own shit to not react back when Kyou pushed his way into his life and was actively hostile #and I mean react back as an ongoing thing. obviously sometimes yuki initiated individual spats or whatever lol #ANYWAY by the end I think Kyou does. get to some extent that things are shit for yuki too. and wants them not to be???#to which yuki is very. 'no fucking shit. i wouldnt wish that bullshit for you either if you weren't fucking attacking me all the time' kind #but. there's still some ways for them both to grow there #tbh in yukis case. I guess due to his issues with trust/opening up.#it's harder for him to think of Kyou as someone to really care about?? consciously???#whereas like Ive said above. Kyou still thinks of himself as Worse Off than Yuki.#but he can like. Extend a Hand maybe. Graciously. for Tohru's sake as much as anyhting #I dont even fucking know Im just writing fanfic at this point #what even is this post (or any of the furuba posts on this blog)#idk maybe I should just read some Kyo/Yuki again. :///#fruits basket #look maybe I just want the zodiac crew post-canon to start gallows humour 'bragging' abt the awful shit that traumatised them as teenagers #and when it gets to yuki it's like. jesus christ even for this group thats fucked up. or maybe its just because Nobody not even Haru knew #which. great yuki even when the topic is 'haha our childhood was fucked up wasn't it' you still made things weird. <- yuki's thoughts only

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compacflt · 2 years ago

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Your Slider one shot, so frustrated on Slider's behalf! Ugh and Maverick is also a stubborn bastard. I'll have to gather my thoughts but......

My jaw dropped at the Scaled Composites shade! I was not expecting that one. Tell me how you really feel about Burt Rutan LMAO.

i feel so so fine about burt rutan, admire his career, but i have a visceral “do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created here on earth” reaction every time i see a scaled aircraft.

like human beings were not meant to fly machines that look like this for another millennium or so & this big ugly fat fucker has been flying since 1998 for instance:

like what the fuck. this is the hubris of man at this point. scaled composites is approaching tower of babel levels of human arrogance. what are they COOKING.

#im sure they’ve got some classified bullshit that looks like a big flying dong or something #and flies at Mach 12 for 24 hours straight solar powered #idek how to tag this.#general aviation #i guess.#anyway thanks for the ask. scaled does good work but at a mortally steep aesthetic cost #function over form but aren’t there LIMITS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#scaled design philosophy: have a child draw a spider and turn that blueprint into an airplane #actually mav being like ‘ugh sc is so weird gross’ is super out of character he would probably love to fly a weird abomination like this #or stratolaunch etc #anon if ur who i think u r — are u also upset/unsurprised abt spacex launch today?#im betting on 4/20 launch (very in character for them)

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idontdrinkgatorade · 1 year ago

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HELP I TOLD MY MOM I HAD A MEMORY OF VISITING ROMANIA (where my bio mother is from) AND SHE CAME BACK TO MY ROOM AND WAS LIKE. WHAT SPURRED THIS MEMORY? HAVE YOU CONTACTED YOUR GRANDMOTHER? HAS SHE CONTACTED YOU?

#like girll no i've had this memory #it was just insignificant enough that i didn't really care abt it #and i was literally three i didn't know what was going on #i literally didn't know that it was romania bc i was 3 i just knew it was my grandmother's house #the only thing i remember is eating dinner and going to bed like do you think i'm gonna run away to my romanian dream life??????#because i have a memory of a fucking fish on a plate?????????????????#sorry whenever my mom talks about romania and my birth mother being romanian there's always some air of disgust #it's the xenophobia #she's like yeah the romanians are weird and we called your birth mother a vampire bc haha transylvania #i think she hatessss anything that isn't standard usamerican culture #she insults sweden too like she's like 'their language is impossible to understand' like bitch it's 100x more comprehensible than english??#i actually pointed out to her how much of a bullshit language english was #and she got upset and was like 'don't insult english i like english and i love this country and be glad we're not speaking chinese'#girl you didn't have to bring MORE RACISM/XENOPHOBIA TO THE TABLE WHAT THE FUCK?????#anyways that's my little rant #also yeah here's a lot of not really vague info

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mothmanchronicler · 1 year ago

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i don't like my haircut but everyone (and i mean everyone) loves my haircut ??? am i crazy

#i've never gotten so many compliments on a haircut #today our waiter said they were jealous because they were too scared to rock a 'cool punk haircut'#a goth teenager working at taco bell blurted out 'woah you look so cool' as soon as the opened the drive thru window #old lesbians love it #why do i hate it !!#i love the way it feels but i don't like looking at it #anyway transition is weeeeeird i'm feeling so weird rn #i'm so happy abt all the changes but its making me unhappy with my appearance overall because i'm not butch enough or man enough yet #even tho i KNOW that's bullshit #it's a feeling that has been very hard to shake #trying to think what is at the core of the feeling #maybe the ever present fear of rejection #but the result is that i'm rejecting myself #or perhaps it all stems back to my psychosexual obsession with a girl in my pre-school class #(just like every think that is wrong with me!!!)#joking #or am i ?#ok bye <3

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opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months ago

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...

#not to vague abt a particular niche of a fandom no one cares about BUT im losing my mind a bit #bc there's a ship that literally got me so invested that i read fanfiction for the 1st time. i adore them so much #i think their canon relationship is so fucking lovely and its bullshit what happened to them. if u kno u kno.#but now i go to ao3 and try to find fics and im like... yo y do these all fucking suck?#like i get it. no one has given a fuck abt this fandom since like the 2010s but i mean ive read lots of way better fics for waaaay #tinier fandoms. i guess thoses ppl just cared way more. no one gives enough of a fuck to write a good fic for these 2.#ugh. im probably just being a bitch. like is it bc its a heterosexual ship? is the bar really so low for writing straight relationships that #they have to b so fucking boring immediately???? like what the fuck is happening. i feel like im losing my mind #wheres the passion? where the dedication? wheres the willingness to die for eachother and fight side by side?#its all boring bullshit or weird self insert feeling smut. or maybe its me. maybe im the problem bc i refuse to read the fics that have #adultery and divorce in them bc im so in denial abt the ending of bleach that i cannot stand to even look at #the canon endgame ships. it makes me to angry. so yea maybe im the problem #i jus6 don't understand it. its the same for narut0 x s4suke fics. like????#did we watch the same show??? why tf r u writing them so weird and boring and wrong????#that one i them im right abt bc others have confirmed it. but idk abt these 2. my fucking original otp is cursed to toil away in bad #fanfiction. or maybe all the good fics r on ff dot net. but fuck if im gonna wade thru that hellsite #anyway. this is what u get when u get invested in terrible anime. i mean with peace and love it is my nostalgia show but like u kno #unrelated

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vampireloverz · 2 years ago

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>.>

#not that i feel weird being on here but i feel like i cant just randomly spout bullshit anymore #like this is my internet diary and i should be able to but ! idk uhhhh #whats that one post where creating isnt the rent u pay for being in fandom/being online… i gotta remember that #i just wanna gush abt whats been going on in my life but also. i feel like i cant idk why HDJXBDKNF #anyway im going to bed and i cant stop thinking abt the sexy death wolf from the cat with shoes movie u know the one #and his va is brasilian waaaaaah im in love love @_@#okie goodnight byeeeeee

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29121996 · 15 days ago

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#i dont . think abt my .iscarriage often bht lately its been #heavily on my fuckinf Skull like .#espxw what happened the other night (i cant get into this but ??? p sure i met my future kid??? the Other One???)#like i Know my daughter . she basically is running my life in an odd way . but . i think i met my other child the other night it was weird #anyway . woke uo w the insane urge to . get a reading from this one lafy who even her collectivr shit #is spot on it drives me wild ..but anyway. hate when she says smth and it like . has me needing to take a Breather bc Oh #like . idk abt u but i started thinking abt how this wouldve looked to him and i just huh .#i kept it hidden for Over a Ywar n then vlurted it out piss drunk with his friend around. and then not a conversation was had abt it Ever #bc we broke up 2eks later or smth like . am i insane for assuming that woukdnt ???? effecf him in some way ?????#bc it would me . n idk the only way i can see this not being a 2nd thought is if he rlly didnt give a shit abt me at all #and genuinwly sisnt actually mean anythinf he said to me . but i donr think thats the case #like as mych as i want to fuckjg. sit here and pretend he didnt love me #i think he did. he was just a fuckhead w bullshit. and im kinda .#idk i dont know how to deel abt him anymore and it mostly just makes me.fucking SAAAAAAAAAD.#anyway all of this does make me frel slightly crazy . but .#i know smth abt thisnis right . n i k ow tbe girl i see in my dreams and can feel Watxhibg me is my daughter .#everytime i connect to her o do genuinely get teary eyed like . shes so fucking sweet. shes a beautiful soul oh my god .#i genuibely cant wait to meet her 🥺 shes so cool :') passionate and fiery i fucking adore her .#anyway whack. all of this is whack i haye being spiritual sometimes its wild how this shit . anyway

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cursed-spirit-manipulation · 1 month ago

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thinking Abt Suguru autism and struggling bc I have forgotten 1. Everything Suguru has ever done 2. Every symptom of autism ever and then I remembered Suguru fucking. Knows every curse he's swallowed. And it's like y'know what maybe I don't have to make an airtight case for this

#JJK #look at this now.#Genuinely I hc that while he hates curses he's also fascinated by them bc I feel like it'd be hard not to be when u eat em #Anyways the main thing that makes me go "🫵 autistic'' is his like. Moral compass stuff #Bc it's very relatable in black/white thinking and potentially issues with empathy (low and high). Which isn't to say the reason he's a #Horrible person w horrible worldviews is bc he's autistic but rather that bc he's in an environment that 1. Is very socially isolating #2. Supports very black/white worldviews and 3. Is obsessed with strength. I'm just saying he probably latched onto those ideas #Very strongly (esp bc this environment he feels Understood- grew up the only sorcerer in his family and prob like. Whole environment)#And in a lot of ways it feels like his morality is formed by ''going through the motions'' like how he keeps saying ''the strong should #Protect the weak'' and also being shitty to Utahime for being ''weak'' and also like. Y'know becomes a weird abusive cult leader #Who views the weak as subhuman. Like it feels like he was taught that and didn't have the context to fully critically analyze #Those ideas and form his own sense of morality and instead he just kept repeating it hoping it would stick or smthn #Also let me be honest. He gives off the vibes of an autistic person Overcompensating for flat affect sometimes. Idk how to describe it #Anyway knowing all ur 4k+ cursed spirits is. Nuts. Is he okay (no)#Also something Abt how. Even though he hates it. He still does his routine of exorcise/absorb even after his whole shit #Something something strong sense of morality + inability to change routine. Idk. And when I say the morality thing I don't mean #That he has a good moral code just that he has a very Intense moral code #Geto has ''girl'' autism #As in he learned to mask and internalize his symptoms #And Gojo has ''boy'' autism #As in he never really had to learn to mask (and likely wouldn't be able to)#Note girl and boy r in quotes bc. Gendered autism is bullshit but I'm specifically thinking Abt Geto being very internal #In a way Gojo isn't. And potentially some like... Resentment/judgement/jealousy bc of it #(like ''why can't you mask better you look like a freak'' internalized Ableism and ''i wish i could b weird the way ur #Allowed to be (bc of powerful family and position in jujutsu)'' beggining recognition of external Ableism #Anyway I could yap Abt Geto and Gojo and how I think they're both mentally and physically disabled #And how while Gojo's privileges (rich + powerful) let him mitigate some effects of Ableism (at the same time his position as a famous #Sorcerer connected to a family with a Reputation definitely is restrictive in its own ways) Geto probably internalized a lot of general #Societal Ableism prior to getting involved in jujutsu and has Not unlearned that shit and ends up externalizing Ableism (lateral violence #Is a term I've been thinking of w him). Anyway Shoko is also autistic and physically disabled and I hc that she isolates herself because of

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alittleemo · 7 months ago

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#girllllll help help. in another world I am confrontational and concise but it is not this one.#in other words td a friend made a joke abt my living w my girlfriend and i was like yeahhh :|| hahahaha.#girl I don’t even know if we’ve broken up. I think we did ??? it feels like it.#being friends is what i suggested. but after everything else idk if that’s actually what happened.#Vibes have been weird. not rocking w it as they say. I rlly should go home.#unfortunately there will likely be a cross country phone call in my future. which is not classy.#but if I need to break up over the phone maybe I will. Idk man this isn’t something I know how to do !!#idk I kind of predicted from the beginning if anything off were to happen it would be my fault . And indeed.#I need to stop over sharing so I’m going to stop right there !! god bless.#anyway. Shits weird shits wack.#lee’s bullshit

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cinnabeat · 1 year ago

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that post is making me remember summer school now and how off the walls what my teacher said to me was like literally who says that

#he was like #you act weird #and i was like HUH?#and he was like yeah youre like kind of quirky #or something to that affect and ive never been so offended #bc he said it to like reassure me it wasnt an insult i guess??#but he was very clearly clocking me as Weird and Different and had the nerve to say it out loud??#in like that thinly polite but actually insulting way people say things when they dont wanna seem rude when theyre saying something rude #and like ?? ive never had someone do that to me before which frankly is a miracle #it was so out of pocket like most people have the decency of being actual legit friends with me before discussing my personality #which is fine i like hearing how other people view me its interesting #but like?? i couldnt even tell you what we were talking abt or what it was that caught his attention #i think it was the way i was talking that did it either that or i was gesticulating too much #actually no it was definitely the way i talked bc id say shit like gesticulating and then veer abruptly into more casual language #that summer school class i took was fucking bullshit anyways why would you offer a precalc summer school course and then not have a math te #teacher capable of teaching it #and then they didnt even put me with the math teacher they put me with the fucking english teacher??? that C i got was entirely out of pity #bc i kept failing the last unit which was the thing i failed at in actual school #and since the math teacher was useless i had to teach it to myself which obviously was gonna go badly considering i fucking failed it alread #already but whatever #michi tag

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sturnsslut · 6 months ago

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better - matt sturniolo

a/n - this is a filler until i’m done with my chris smut 😔. i’m sorry there’s a lot of yapping but the backstory matters !

contains - soft dom!matt x sub!reader, fighting (barley), unprotected sex, mirror sex, praise, fingering, begging, oral

summary - reader and matt make a bet !

————————————————————————————

‘ i seen your love, you got me baby ‘

it was a friday night and my boyfriend had just canceled on me last minute for the 3rd time this week. i was literally all dressed up, waiting for him to come and pick me up. i sighed when i read his message saying that he " had something come up "

bullshit.

i had a feeling he had been cheating on me for a while, but i didn't have any solid proof so i just stayed quiet. i was about to get into my pajamas when i got a text from nick saying how theyre having a party at their house tonight , and how matt would pick me up.

nick 💗

HEY

we're having a party tn

can you come

pleaseeeeee

matt can pick you up

i feel like i haven't seen you in forever

you

nick it's been 4 days 😭

but i mean

let me see

i pulled out my phone to text liam, my boyfriend . i had to make sure that we really weren't going out , so i was just double checking.

liam

Can't go

Something came up

you

bro what ??

im literally ready

why tf is this just now being brought up

liam

I don't know what you want me to do lmfao

you

im going to nicks party then

liam

Says who?

Your staying at the house

you

why are you being weird 💀

yes i am

lmfao ok dad

liam

That fucking matt kid

Your always looking at him

And he looks at you like he's

in love or some shit so no your not going

you

bro

u can't be serious

i never look at him

liam

K well

i don't want you close enough to him

so that there's even a chance something could happen

you

read 10:39 pm

i laughed and rolled my eyes, he really thinks he's in control of me...i scrolled back to nicks contact and texted him

you

come get me 😝

nick

YAYYYY

we're like 5 mins away

can we come in so i can say hi to ur cat

you

omfg 😭 yea

im ready anyways cause

ofc my bf cancelled on me again

nick

girl.

you can do better

i feel like everyone knows

he's cheating on you...

you

yea me to

i just don't have any proof yet

anyways lmk when ur here

nick

okay

we're like abt to pull up

you

doors unlocked 😛

i waited until i saw their van in my driveway, and opened the door watching them walk up to my porch

immediately hugged nick and chris, but i just smiled at matt and he returned the gesture.

there had always been something, weird between me and matt. it wasn't friendship, but it wasn't hate either. it was weird.

i led nick to my room and picked up my cat, kiko, handing her to him

i walked out of my room to see chris sitting on the couch and matt just leaning against the door on his phone, like he couldn't wait to leave.

“uh you know you can sit down matt...” i said awkwardly, causing him to look up from his phone and just respond with “i know”

i shrugged it off and went back to my room where i'd left nick, and asked him what he thought of my outfit.

i asked him if he thought it was ' too formal ' for a party since it was originally an outfit for my date.

i was wearing a short black dress with spaghetti straps, my hair down and some light makeup

“girl you look hot. don't change” i smiled and went to the bathroom to touch up my makeup a little, once i was done i grabbed my bag and asked nick if we're ready to go “you ready?” i questioned, putting my bag on my arm

“yeah let's go” he said before saying bye to kiko and putting her down

“come on guys” nick said walking out of my room, resulting in everyone making their way to the door.

once we got into the van i was in the back , with nick while chris and matt were up front obviously. on the way there, i just had the urge to look up from my phone

i looked up and caught matt starring at me through the rearview mirror, he immediately looked away once he saw me though.

we eventually got to the triplets house and it was already packed. we all got out of the van and while we were making our way to the door, i asked nick “you let all these people here without you guys home?”

“yeah, justin and nate are here so it should be fine.”

i hummed in response and walked behind nick and chris, with matt behind me for some reason.

nate opened the door and dapped up matt after i walked in, and i heard him say “hot date bro”

“she's not my date” matt replied sounding slightly annoyed. nate raised a brow in confusion

“then…why..were you walking behind her? and starring at her ass, like, the entire time you were walking up…me and justin literally saw you through the window.”

i turned my head around for a quick second to see matt shushing nate and punching him (sort of) playfully on the shoulder

i felt my cheeks heat up, but why? why did i care how matt was looking at me? whatever.

i made my way to the kitchen where nick and chris were, we just gossiped about random shit.

nick was talking to chris and while i waited for my turn to speak, i looked around and saw...my boyfriend? what? he said he had an emergency?

and of course, he was making out with some skanky bitch from my school who knew we'd been dating.

i told nick i'll be right back and made my way over.

“fuck you. family emergency?? your fucking unbelievable.” i shoved him then faced the girl “and bitch as for you, he's gonna do the same shit hes doing to me right now. you aren't gonna fucking last.”

he looked totally wasted and was slurring his words, but i heard him say “you were just a good fuck. get over it.”

i looked at him in disbelief for a moment before i said something back “can't say the same for you. you have a small dick.” and with that, i walked off.

tons of people were starring at me of course, but i was too mad to even care. i made my way to the bathroom to calm down, before i heard a knock on the door.

“what the fuck do you want” i blurted out without even thinking who it could be.

“um..it's matt, can i come in?” i instantly covered my mouth feeling bad about how i had spoken to him

i unlocked the door and opened it, letting him in. “i'm sorry. i didn't know who it was” i apologized

“no no, it's okay. i just wanted to check on you and see if your okay.”

i sighed and sat down on the toilet seat while he leaned against the wall in front of the mirror

“i mean..not really, just pissed at how much time and energy i wasted on him.”

he stayed silent and didn't say anything, waiting for me to finish what i was saying “i knew he was cheating but i didn't wanna believe it, i feel fucking stupid” i continued

“your not stupid” he shrugged and continued “he's stupid for loosing someone like you.” i thanked him and sighed, resting my head in my hands

“and…if he has a small dick he's nothing to cry over” he smiled

i laughed, “he wasn't even good in bed either oh my god.” i added and laughed

"really?” matt turned his head to look at me, furrowing his brows for a second and smiling, while crossing his arms

“yeah. sorry if this is too much but like..i never finished when i was with him” i giggled at the embarrassing confession

he laughed and paused for a moment before saying “you would if you were with me”

i giggled thinking he was joking, and replied with “doubt it”

matt raised his eyebrows and locked the door, “wanna bet?”

that's when i realized he wasn't joking, i stood up and leaned against the sink infront of him " how much " i smirked at him

“ $50. i know how to use my hands, mouth, and dick. im confident i could make you cum, that's a promise.”

“fine, prove it then” i said nodding my head

“don't start shit you can't finish. im serious.” he said looking me in my eyes

“so am i, i wanna see if you can put your money where your mouth is”

“ y/n ,” he said smiling and shaking his head , leaning into me, resting one of his hands on the sink

“matt.” i responded teasingly

he grabbed my hand and placed it onto his dick, making me feel his giant boner

“you see what your doing to me? i will fuck you until you can't even remember his name.”

“do it then” i smirked, ' he's all talk ' is what i was thinking, until he firmly placed his lips on mine

it was quick to turn sloppy, he picked me up and set me on the edge of the sink so i was perfectly aligned with his dick

he started making his way down slowly by leaving hickeys all down my neck, i wrapped my fingers in his hair and tugged it slightly, but not too hard

that's when he lifted up my dress and placed one of his hands on my waist, while the other rubbed my clit through my underwear

he was looking me in my face but i was so needy for more of him, that i couldn't even look him in the eyes.

“what? you can't take it anymore?” he smirked at me, still making eye contact and then inching his hand fully down my panties sticking two fingers inside me

(guys i giggled at panties but i didn't know what other word to use)

i bit my lip slightly taking a deep breath in at the amount of pleasure i was in. even tho all he did was tease me, it felt amazing. like he had this power over me.

he started moving his fingers slow, but picked up the pace fast. i threw my head back in pleasure, while my hands grabbed at his shoulders.

fuck. maybe he could make me cum after all .

as good as it felt, i needed a break because if he fingered me for any longer, i would've lost $50.

i grabbed his hand and pulled it away and hopped off of the counter, immediately getting on my knees

i began to unzip his pants when he suddenly stops me and grabs my chin, raising my head and making me look at him

“i don't know if your ready..” he said looking at me with a smirk

i rolled my eyes smiling slightly, and continued undoing his pants "okay..." he answered, throwing his hands up in surrender

i pulled his pants down to his ankles and then looked up to see his boxers, and i could obviously see his giant print

i pulled down his boxers , revealing an easy 9 inches. i started at it for a few seconds before shrugging and shoving in 6 inches or so

as i switched between my hands and my mouth, i swirled my tongue around his tip causing him to let out a low groan

“shit ..” he threw his head back in pleasure and grabbed a fistful of my hair, pushing himself further into my mouth

i felt it in the back of my throat. i heard him mumbling all types of swear words, and at that point he's basically just fucking my throat

“how was that” say standing up to face him, smirking up at him still catching my breath

“your really good” he smirked at me, before picking me up and setting me back on the sink again “your turn”

he pulls out of the kiss and bends down slightly, resting his hands on my inner thighs, spreading my legs a little

“let me do this for you, all you need to do is hold your legs up. but if you can't handle it, just put em on my shoulders, okay?” he says looking me in my eyes, all i could do at that point was just nod eagerly, hopefully showing how bad i needed him.

and with that, he starts to go down on me. i arched my back unintentionally, i don't know what came over me, but i couldn't help myself. it just felt like he belonged there

this man wasn't lying when said he knows how to make a girl beg, not even close to a lie.

i grabbed a handful of his hair and arched my back again when i felt him start to suck on my clit

i slapped my hand over my mouth, remembering how there's other people around.

he took his hand off of my thigh and removed my own hand from my mouth, “don't cover your mouth sweetheart. i wanna know if im doing good”

i shook my head in agreement and grabbed the back of his shirt, needing some sort of support

i can't explain it, but i swear i felt him smirk when i grabbed him, like he knew he was pleasing me so good.

i never knew i needed him, but i do now. his tongue felt so good on me, it just felt right.

i moaned slightly louder than before “shit…” i threw my head back and bit my lip slightly

i started whimpering out of pleasure trying to catch my breath, his tongue was going everywhere and somehow he made every spot feel amazing .

i felt myself get close, but i needed to feel him inside of me. “wait wait wait” i mumbled trying to catch my breath

“what is it baby?” he said looking up at me “ i…fuck hold on.” said panting

“ i want you to fuck me , please matt.” i said in between breaths

“how bad?” he said smirking at me and looking me in my eyes, “tell me how bad you want me.”

“i need you so bad, please” i pleaded, i just wanted him in me and nothing else, him and him only is all i needed.

“good girl.” and with that, he fully stood up and grabbed his dick

he held his tip up to my entrance, running his head up and down my folds causing whimpers to leave both of our mouths. he knowing how bad he was teasing me, but this man was rock hard.

“matt, i want you to fuck me and i know you do to , stop teasing please” i was literally begging this man to just destroy me

he shrugged “i'll try not to stretch you out too much sweetheart.” and with that, he pushed himself inside me without warning, and wow i wasn't ready.

it's like i was so horny i forgot how big he was.

he shoved all of his length inside me , all 9 inches. i cried out in pleasure

he placed his hands on my waist so he could go deeper and guide me , “oh fuck” i muttered and immediately clamped my eyes shut

that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin, making me look at him. “look at me, i wanna see how good i make you feel . do i make you feel good, pretty?”

“mhm” i whimpered and shook my head because i couldn't even speak.

“use your words baby. do i?” he spoke firmly, still not breaking eye contact

“yes, yes you make me feel good” i mumbled

“good.” he spoke in a fierce tone as his tip hit my g-spot perfectly each time, making me throw my head back

i heard him say “hey baby, you wanna take off that dress?” he suggested

i nodded while he pulled out and i hopped off of the sink, slipping my dress off

i looked over at matt who was literally starring down my body, “what?” giggled getting flustered

“nothing…you just amaze me. your body is so perfect” he said, still starring me down

i laughed and rolled my eyes and asked if he was ready again, “for you, always. are you?” he emphasized

i bent over the sink and replied “obviously.” he snickered and grabbed my hips, making sure he was perfectly aligned.

i felt him pound himself into me, which, i again for some reason still wasn't used to how big he is.

i had my hands on the sink for support, and when he put himself inside me, i put my head down because it felt so good

that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin again and lifted up my head , looking at me through the mirror.

“uh uh. i want you to see how good your taking me.”

i nodded looking at him in the mirror

i watch him look down and smile while furrowing his brows

“you didn't tell me you had a back tattoo baby . it looks good”

“you never ..” i paused as i struggled to get my words out “shit!...asked me” i whined, almost too loudly

“fair enough ..oh fuck” he threw his head back and his thrusting started to get more aggressive

his hand crept up to my neck, placing a firm grip on my neck which sent me over the edge

“matt..baby i can't do it” i said shaking my head while looking at him in the mirror

“yes you can, take it like you said you would.” i nodded and did as he told me

i suddenly felt that knot in my stomach, so i reached behind me and grabbed matts hand from my waist and put it on the sink so that his hand was over mine, and we interlocked our fingers

“you alright? are you gonna cum already? come on, your too easy to please baby .” he asked in a teasing tone, looking at me and smirking

like of course i was. and he obviously knew, he just thought that it was funny to tease me.

“fuck ..matt im gonna-“ i was cut off by me releasing onto his dick, “oh shit” said looking down, i was relieved that a man had actually made me finish, but now i needed to give matt $50 i didn't have ...

“good job baby, you did great” he was literally panting at this point. i could tell was close, just trying not to show it.

i decided to tease a little and see how long he could last.

“you make me feel so good baby” i said looking at him in the mirror

“thats g..fuck” he threw his head back and starting thrusting harder

“you look so good from here” i teased a little more since he thinks when he does it, it's hilarious. i saw him open this mouth to say something but instead just bite the side of his cheek and stay quiet

“i don't care how long it takes you baby, my body is all yours.”

“fuck .. mm oh shit ...in or out”

without answering, i got on my knees and began to jerk him off to his release while looking up at him

“oh shit. fuck..fuck” he lets out a huge loud of cum and i swallow, i dont need a mess.

i get back up and try my best to fix my hair while looking at myself in the mirror, while matt's leaning against the wall panting

i pickup my shoes without even bothering to put them back on , i just re-adjust my dress and forget about everything else.

my hair is all out of place, my lipstick is smeared, my mascara running down my face..i was a mess. but it was totally worth it.

i sit on the toilet seat while matt puts his pants back on.

“i don't need the $50.” matt said suddenly smiling at me, “you ready? you still look good by the way.”

“whatever. let's go” i laughed and rolled my eyes, opening the door

“liam's gonna be so pissed.” i laughed looking back at matt

“i know” he smiled “can't wait to see the look on his face.”

i giggled as we made our way over to liam, who was making out with a different girl.

we stood infront of him and looked at eachother laughing, and as soon as we did we opened his eyes and looked like he'd just seen a ghost

“hi” i said in a teasing voice, tilting my head while doing so

“what the fuck?” he looked back at me and matt in confusion, furrowing his brows like he didn't know what was going on.

“yea so you were kinda right about me and matt ...” i said trying not to burst out laughing

“you fucking whore!” he yelled, gaining the attention of tons of people. they started recording the situation because of how loud he was. “i knew you were cheating on me you slimy little b-“ he got cut off as he got sent to the floor.

matt had punched him.

i covered my mouth in shock but also resisting the urge to not laugh “your...” liam paused , feeling his nose as it gushed blood everywhere “dead.” he continued

“okay, well it's kinda hard to take that threat serious when your on ground”

everybody around us started laughing, apparently nobody liked liam , but it's obvious why.

“your not a real man! y-“ i cut him off before he could finish his sentence, “well he fucks like one. get up and get over it. truth hurts.”

i pat his shoulder and flashed him a faux sympathy smile, before he swatted my hand away causing me to laugh

we walked over to chris and nick who were recording everything on their phones “hey uh, are you guys ready to pack this up?” matt asked them

“yup, i'll get nate and justin to get everyone out.” nick said as he walked away

“dude what the fuck ...” chris giggled as he looked at me and matt " i fucking knew it! nick owes me $20".

“you..made a bet?” i asked, confused

“fuck yea we did” he replied stuffing his mouth with food before walking off

“so like..do you wanna be my girlfriend...or whatever” matt asked me, looking down at the ground

“duh.” smiled and kissed him before going to find nick so i could help clean the mess up

“we're literally never having a party again.” nick complained as we all shoved trash into trash bags

a/n - um lmk if you wanna be on my tag list 🤗.

@mattssluttygf

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolos #nick sturniolo #smut #Spotify

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