#anyway my days are numbered Thank Goodness
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Busy
NSFW(MDNI) ; Character Aged Up
Kinda fluffy, kinda smutty...
It was Saturday afternoon and you were on the couch all comfy. You had cleaned and cooked dinner. Now you were impatiently waiting for your boyfriend to get home.
The two of you have been dating for 2 and a half years now and living together for 6 months. You decided to take that step because you wanted more time together. Between your job and Katsuki's as a pro hero, you guys were always trying to find time for each other. Moving in had made this a lot better, but this past month has really been hell.
Kat left for a week on a mission out of the country, and a day after after he got back, you had to leave for a business trip for a few days. As soon as you thought the worst was over, there was attack after attack from the League of Villains. He was getting called in to work even on his days off.
The time apart was driving the both of you a little crazy. Your mood has been down and you haven't wanted to do much besides stay at home and sulk. You knew Katsuki was getting to a breaking point because you were hearing more complaints about him than usual.
He'd never admit it, but you are a big factor in him keeping his attitude in check. You had a very calming affect on him, so when he goes too long without real time with you, he reverts back to his asshole tendencies.
You are completely caught up in your show, when you hear the front door slam shut.
“Katsuki, why are slamming the door?” All you hear is him in the walkway tugging off his boots and grumbling to himself.
You get up and walk over to where is and all the frustration on his face starts to melt as soon as his eyes land on you.
“What’s wrong?” You ask as you walk over to him and slide your hands into his sweaty hair. “You stink ‘suki”
“Wow thanks. I just worked an 8 hour shift kicking ass all day” he rolls his eyes, “sorry hard work doesn’t smell good.
Even though you complain you don’t move away from him. You feel like you haven’t seen him more than an hour at a time recently.
“You should shower and then come out and eat. I made your favorite for dinner.”
“Yeah, I smelled it outside the door and my mouth was watering. I didn’t have time to eat lunch today.” He says a little hesitantly because you’ve chewed him out more than once over skipping meals when he puts his body through so much.
And you probably would have again, if you didn’t see the exhaustion in his face.
“Then do you wanna eat first, then shower. I don’t want you to pass out in there.”
“If you shower with me you can keep watch. Make sure I make it out alive.” He says as sweetly as he can muster right now.
And you do shower with him. You end up washing his hair for him and giving his shoulders a little massage that almost puts him to sleep standing up.
After that you get dressed and go dinner plated for the both of you. While you’re in the kitchen Katsuki hangs off of you like a backpack everywhere you go refusing to let you go.
You have 0 complaints to offer because you’re both touch starved by this point.
You end up eating thigh to thigh in the living room on the floor with some trashy show on. Katsuki inhaling his food in 3 bites and then nodding off while you attempt to finish yours as fast as you can before you completely lose him.
You get up and take the plates to the kitchen and Katsuki is standing at the bedroom door waiting on you.
“Baby, I’m not really sleepy yet. If you want to lay down, I’ll come in a little later.”
“We’re not going to sleep yet. I haven’t held you,awake anyways, or been inside you in almost 2 weeks.” He comes over and starts pulling into the bedroom. “I have a plan. First, I’m gonna make you cum… on my mouth. Then I’m gonna make both of us cum with me inside you.” By this point, you can already feel the wetness starting to pool inside your undies.
“And then, depending on how much energy I have left, I might repeat steps number one and two” this makes you giggle a little and his eyes are twinkling and mischievous. More bright and alive than you’ve seen them since he got home.
“By then, I promise, you’ll be so exhausted all you’ll wanna do is cuddle with me until we pass out.”
“You’re really cocky for someone that was just falling asleep. You probably won’t even have enough energy to complete step one”
By then he has you right on the edge of the bed. He pushes you so you fall back against the mattress with light “uumph”
You look up at him standing there all shirtless and sweatpants hanging low, and the hard outline in those sweatpants.
You think to yourself He might not have to touch to complete step one.
“Y/N the world would have to fuckin spontaneously combust to make me deviate from this plan.” He says as he crawls over you on the bed. “Now, you can either slide these fucking shorts off or I can tear them off you. Your choice.
*little did you know that Katsuki turned off both of your phones while you were in the kitchen and his work phone. He was being literal when he said nothing was getting in the way of this… not tonight. You he would MAKE time for.
Katsuki Bakugo Masterlist
*ummmm this was long but I’m trying to find my groove so…. Thanks for baring with me🤭
#imagine#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki x reader#mha fanfiction#bakugou drabble#katsuki bakugo mha#drabble#katsuki bakugou#bakugo#bakugo headcanons#bakugou katsuki smut#bakugou#katsuki bakugo fluff
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congrats on your 200 💫💫can i have taro and cherries (friends set us up) as the toppings in waffle cone? i’ll have the cheesecake bites. ill have it with suna rintarou 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Unexpected interest
suna rintarou x f!reader (no proofread)
thank you to @massacremars for helping me figure out the plot for this fic 😞🙏🏻 bless up chat
Osamu was just about sick of hearing you complain about being single and the lack of men at your door “blah, blah, blah yn you know you’re lucky i’m a good friend and i’m willing to listen to you complain about this.” he said slurping on his ramen. “then help me out instead of listening to me complain.” you rolling your eyes “sigh. I don’t know if I can. But I'll try.” he says because he really is sick of this all. “How are you gonna do that?”
you asked quirking your eyebrow at him as you eat your food “i’m going to set you up with an old friend of mine, this saturday get ready i’ll have everything planned and text you the time before hand.” he says smirking at his grand idea “ermmm okay fine.” you say shrugging trusting in the gray haired man’s words—
after osamu had gotten home from yours and his lunch he called up atsumu for his grand idea “sunas still single right?” osamu asked, “Uh yeah, I think so, why?” atsumu said. “you remember yn?” osamu mentioned “oh yeah, how is she?” the blonde said over the phone. “she’s good but annoyingly single and can’t stop talking about it so i want to set her up with suna since he’s coming back to town this week” osamu tells him the plan “ah i see helping her out, so why are you telling me and not him?” atsumu questioned “Because I need you to help me talk him into this date” osamu said “and how will I do that?” Atsumu laughed. “bro figure it out and fast i told her Saturday is gonna be the date.” osamu added “WHAT?! that’s not enough time” atsumu said yelling “work with what i gave ya gotta go bye” osamu quickly hung up the phone. “ughhh i just wanted to sleep bruh” atsumu groaned—
atsumu called suna later that day “yo rin” atsum said “what’s up?” suna asked a bit confused because as crazy as it was atsumu never called out of the blue like this “I was wondering your single? and need some action in your love life because you have none and you don’t want to die alone right?” atsumu added “uhh i guess? where are you going with this tsumu?” he said sick of the blonde haired man and his antics “look osamu wants to set you up with one of his friends, she’s super pretty and cool i think you guys might hit it off, but you’d have to plan the date for this saturday” atsumu said really fast “are you kidding me?” suna said “nah, dead serious come on bro it’s not bad just do it for me and samu” atsumu added “ima do it for the girl because if she’s dealing with osamu and coming to him with her problems she must be struggling” suna said “perfect so text osamu ask for her number and set it up peace out my work here is done.” atsumu said feeling accomplished. “yeah whatever” suna said rolling his eyes.
Texts between osamu and suna;
S: send me that girls number so i can set up the date with her
O: wait u actually said yes?
S: yea?
O: dam, ok here you go (xxx) xxx-xxx
S: thanks
O: lmk how it goes…
Texts between suna and yn
S: Hey this is Osamu's friends, he the one who set you up on a date with me.
Yn: oh yeah, Hey! i can’t believe he actually did LMAO
S: yeah anyways what’s ur name?
Yn: it’s Yn, and you?
S: suna. So for the date i’ll pick you up at 9, dress casual unless you wanna meet there
Yn: no i don’t mind, uhm sure sounds good see you then suna!
S: see ya.
fast forward to the day of the date you’ve haven't been on one in forever so you were nervous about it all especially it being a long time friend of osamu’s and atsumu’s, you may have spent an unhealthy amount of time picking a “causal” outfit but you found one (after many double checks with all your friends) and pinterested many tiktok hairstyles for the days following up to the date but everything went smoothly until you get a text saying he’s going to be on his way, your stomach fills with anxiety because you have no idea what he looks like this was all new to you, surely osamu and atsumu wouldn’t set you up with someone ugly right? right? you try to push down all the worries and woes of your mind and triple check your outfit.
16 minutes later you get a knock on your door and you’re greeted by a tall dark haired man with beautiful green fox like eyes with a beautiful bouquet of lilies of the valley flowers, “how did you know…?” you asked him looking at the flowers, which makes him nervous “uh i asked osamu, i didn’t want to come empty handed” he said shyly “their beautiful….can i go put them away really quick” you say looking up at him which caused his heart to burst and beat like a drum a sensation he hasn’t felt since his first crush. “yeah-h sure” he said, staring at you “cool! I'll be fast.” you say grabbing them as if they were ever so delicate you threw out the old wilting bouquet of flowers and got new water to place the beautiful flowers he got you in, “okay all ready to go, shall we?” you say smiling which only made him more nervous “yeah let’s go.” he said smiling—
Suna was never the super shy type he wasn’t super cocky either, but how can he not feel nervous when he’s in the car with this beaming sunlight next to him, you radiating warmth and love. How could have you been single for this long? He questioned that he was also wondering if the date he planned wasn’t good enough for you now he’s rethinking everything while basically driving on autopilot to the destination. You sat there looking through the window happily. Suna seemed like a nice guy, he was sweet, he opened your door for you which was yes the bare minimum but it all felt so special with him.
The date was a fun night market with food vendors and small shops and fair rides. Your eyes lit up at the lively atmosphere, suna noticed of course he noticed it’s like his eyes were stuck on you this whole time.
After many foods, silly rides, suna almost throwing up, cute photo booth, and petting goats and calling them atsumu and osamu. The night was ending you both got sleepy, as you walk back to the car with a smile and blue tongue from the shaved ice and a small white bunny as a prize from the game suna won it from, and suna with red tongue and a smile on his face seeing you glow and scream in delight at all the rides. He couldn’t be happier that those twins finally did something good for him “thank you for this suna i had a lot of fun.” you say gripping onto his arm “yeah id love to do it again sometime…. maybe something more formal?” he said looking at you to find you with your eyes sparkling “REALLY?! "I'd love too suna” you say staring at him “yeah, and you can call me rin” he said smiling “rin, mmh i like that” you say savoring his name on your blue stained tongue, him engraving the sound of your voice in his brain.
#cherrysurf writes#suna rintaro smau#suna rintaro haikyuu#suna rintaro fluff#suna rintaro imagines#suna rintarō#suna x reader#hq suna#suna angst#haikyuu suna#suna rintaro x reader#suna rintarou#suna rintaro x you#suna rintaro x y/n#suna rintaro angst
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Counting “hanging out on tumblr with the moots” as a hobby for the To Do list simply bc no energy for anything else 😭
#brb-rambles#brb-life#I am going to bed so early guys#good news tho is I decided to move my last day up so i only have#*checks calendar*#two and a half weeks left?#three if you don’t count the vacation#but work was getting frustrating so I said nope fuck that and gave myself a week off before school starts to fix my sleep schedule and life#cuz I have not seen fam or friends much this summer#well#ppl I care about anyway#anyway my days are numbered Thank Goodness
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Warning for: The (spider) legs showing below!
Under the hoodie/layers, she tends to wrap her legs around her kinda like a hug! And so in the first part that's the weird bumps under the hoodie. They're starting to unravel a bit. She hates being called a monkey cause it's NOT her fault she's short and has to climb on things and up things and includes people in "things" category.
#my characters#911 and 810 and 666 (Satan) are all just agents and everyone except 911 has an odd feature of sorts#such as her spider legs and 666s tail and 343s eye on her chest and so on#they just go by their assigned numbers usually until 666 overheard 911 talking on the phone and heard him say#yeah yeah its eric sorry for a new number again#bc he tends to get new phone numbers for secret keeping reasons#but he has to call his parent to check on em! so hes like yup its me! that guy with an actual name!#and 666 is like oh thats hilarious and starts to call him Prince (since he likes to sing a lot and also prince eric sooo)#and in return to being dubbed prince he starts calling 666 satan#but! 810 and 666 become really good friends and she decides it might not be his name but its more personal than a number#so she adopts the teasing nickname as an affectionate nickname#also 911 is distinctly the only actual boring human amidst the group and he just keeps finding out about the others on accident#and then since he lives at HQ he starts to offer his very boring room up to his friends so they can strip down#and let the extra limbs or parts get some air#so hes constantly just walking into his own room and having 810 in her underwear face down on his bed with her legs out#and he sighs and goes about his day#hes kinda grateful 666 just lets his tail out and keeps his pants on most days but hes also walked into his room and#no pants only boxers tail out and flicking happily#so he just kinda counts it as a win for everyone if satan is happy (satan is the nicest of them lmao)#but yes! in the first part shes basically yelling shes gonna kill him she swears to her best friend#and 911 is like yeah ok thats scary please do NOT actually choke your human jungle gym lets just not do that actually thanks!#anyway sorry for the heap of tags i wont stop overall but i will for now ty for looking at my ocs
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If I asked you to give me some wedding Leon headcanons, would you? Pretty please 🥺
This is from July 4th I'm so sorry anon. Leon wedding headcanons be upon ye.
Jesus I wrote this in my drafts and hit save and it didn't immediately update and I just thought I lost it and would have to rewrite it
Alright, first things first. Leon wants a small, private wedding. More than half of his life has been spent in the spotlight. Privacy is a rare commodity for him, and he'll fight tooth and nail to keep the most important day of his life hidden from the public eye. It's about him and you, baby, not about the paparazzi or tabloids.
The guest list will be small, just family and friends. Probably in a small place in the countryside, away from the public's prying eyes. He's a farm boy at his core, reconnecting with his roots.
Despite his desire for privacy, it's only a matter of time before pictures get out. The public already knew about your engagement, and are incredibly disappointed that they won't be privy to, what they describe as, the wedding of the century. Thankfully for them, a certain social media addict is in attendance-
Yeah, Raihan ends up leaking photos from your wedding. It's not on purpose, prommy. It's expected, and as much as Leon wants his privacy for just one day, he loves Raihan too much to cut him from the invite list. Thankfully, the only photos that get out look good.
Honestly, Leon doesn't care that much about the décor. He knows his sense of style isn't... the best. He doesn't mind that fact, it's just how he is. He cares about getting married to you, that's all. He'll give his opinion when prompted, but he's more than happy to let you pick whatever you want. You could pick the gaudiest color scheme, the most abysmal floral arrangements, and the worst venue known to man, and he'd think it's perfect because it was all hand picked by you. Man is down bad.
Again, his only real input is having the ceremony at a small venue. Somewhere outdoors in the country side, or maybe in a barn. The specifics don't matter to him.
Raihan would definitely be his best man, followed by Sonia, his childhood bestie, and Charizard, because it's Leon what else do you expect. They hype him up, especially during the leadup to the actual ceremony. He won't admit it to you, but he was sweating bullets when waiting. He knows you love him dearly, but can't help but worry, you know?
In terms of attire, he dresses rather normally. Just a simple white suit, likely with a yellow tie. I saw someone headcanon yellow as his favorite color once, and it stuck with me. He even ditches his hat for the day, his hair instead braided elegantly.
You could literally wear a trash bag for your attire and he'd love you all the same. It doesn't matter how you're dressed-whether you wear a dress or suit, traditional or out there-he'll find you breathtaking all the same. He tries his best to hold back his tears when you walk down the aisle, only letting a few fall. He's so unbelievably lucky to have you.
The reception doesn't particularly matter to him, either. He does enjoy himself, being surrounded by the people that matter the most to him, around his loved one's without putting up a face for once. It's liberating for him, actually, but his eyes always find their way back to you, as if trying to sear your image into his mind.
Perhaps the best part of the whole event, aside from getting married to you, obviously, is the fact that none of his friends make fun of him for how hopelessly in love he is. On any other day, they would poke fun at him, teasing him gently for the warmth in his eyes and stupid grin that comes onto his face when he spots you, but his wedding day is different. He's more than allowed to think of nothing except for how much he absolutely positively adored you, on lookers be damned.
He's got two left feet when it comes to dancing. He's bad at it. Laughably so. And no amount of practice can truly fix that fact. He'll stumble, step on your toes a few times, forget the next steps more than once, but he can't be bothered to feel embarrassed about it. Slow dancing with you is a dream for him, makes it feel like there's no one else in the world but the pair of you. He might cry again, holding you in his arms, having officially tied the knot. Wipe away his tears with a gentle touch, and he might somehow fall for you even harder.
In general, Leon would pretty much let you do whatever you want for your wedding, both ceremony and reception. He doesn't care, tailor it to your preferences, it's already going to be the best day of his life, knowing you're happy with everything just makes everything so much better.
Your ring can be whatever you want it to be. Leon doesn't have a budget, no amount of money is too much for him, not when it comes to you. I imagine his ring would be pretty plain, a simple gold band. If he's still champion, he ends up taking it off fairly frequently, not wanting it to get dirty and smudged during battles. In his chairman era, it's on 24-7.
Make no mistake, though, he will let the public know how much he loves being your husband. If he had the choice, he would talk about you in every single interview, simply gushing with praise. No force on Earth could ever make him feel ashamed for loving you.
Similarly, the honeymoon can happen wherever you want. As long as he's with you, he's happy. He is restricted by time, however, he can't be gone for too long, unfortunately. You can stay in Galar, or go to any other region, to do any activity your pretty mind could dream of. (Although, if you asked him where he wanted to go, he'd probably say Alola.)
I can't promise he won't get into battles on the actual trip. I can actually almost guarantee that he will. He can't help it, battling is his passion in life. He does spend most of the time glued to your side, though, wanting to spend as much time with you as humanly possible before having to go back to the regular grind of life.
I do think Leon and Cynthia are a bit similar, hence why I think their weddings would be similar, with the shedding of tears at the altar and whatnot. That is to say, on your wedding night, you will be getting dicked down. Lovingly. Leon just wants to show you how much he loves you, and, after a long day surrounded by other's, professing his love directly to your face, the best way to do that is with his action. Specifically, action involving his dick-
#pokemon x reader#leon x reader#thank you anon for giving me motivation to write#anon im so sorry its been months#i will write#i will write more#mantra i say to myself in the mirror#its hard to write about weddings because all i can think about is this one moment from my cousins wedding#my baby cousin who was probably three or four at the time was just in the buffet line by himself#not accompanied by anyone#not terribly long but i dont have much else to add#my head hurt#i KNOW ive already used this gif of leon but its SO good#twilight wings i love you heart#anyways#ive gotta go back to playing terraria#golem's days are fucking numbered
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Gratitude time
#today im doing it because it's easy and im overflowing with thankful things#very often i do it because it's hard#probably good to remember it CAN be easy#anyway#thankful for my team im gonna be travelling with and the enciuragement they are#its good to remember i am not on this ceazy ride alone#thankful for a genuinely good rich fulfilling day of class/prep#and the stories of God’s amazing provision from an incredible middle eastern guy who shared with us#and for the moroccan lady i met who now somehow is cooking us lunch tomorrow so now i get to try moroccan food#and her hospitality#and for a good comfy bed and the gift of a private room this qeek#and wifi cuz hey that's a bonus (not to be taken for granted this next month)#and a remarkable number of solutions for dumb lil problems#and for the fact that my goodby with The Boy tonight (the big goodbye. for 8 months)#which both of us were dreading because yknow the Big Sad#didnt actually hit either of us emotionally while we were together#which was such a gift. we got to spend 3 hours together just being peaceful and present and having good conversations#and thinking about how to do dating well this year#and praying together#and it was just. so good#and i am so so glad i get to date him this year and share this crazy thing with him even though itvis gonna be really really hard sometimes#and he made me a bracelet to take with me 🥺
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perpetual chicken and egg question are you not writing fanfiction because you're depressed or are you depressed because you're not writing fanfiction. write fanfiction and find out today
#personal#liz loves writing#i think it's the former i think it's seasonal it's got to be seasonal!!!!!!!!#but i wrote 1k of envesseled yesterday and like#it wasn't even a good 1k if i'm being honest like it was a bad set of words#but i felt SO much better. i didn't even get mad when i got into bed to find my cat had puked on the bedspread#having to remake my entire bed when im ready to sleep normally turns me into number one grouch and i didnt care#slept well got up at a reasonable hour and everything#the effect is starting to wear off which means i need to write another 1000 words but I Dont Wanna. must be seasonal.#man remember when i was banging out 2 an 3 thousand every day easily? i miss that.#anyway maybe it's the weather here...it's been like 70+ for 3 days now thanks climate change
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When did the latest 1,000 of you follow me??? good lord hi and welcome, I should maybe pay attention to my notifications and activity page more 😭
#I’m not sure if you showed up about fanfiction or from one of my brief hyperfixations or from the cult post or from Star Trek or batfam#but hi welcome hello!#it’s just this! it’s just this. all the time. I bounce interests and recycle old ones#and share way too much personal life on this blog#especially in post tags#and i really love talking with people but most of the time my brain treats messages and asks and emails and texts#as if they are a deadly danger#so I WILL take up to 7 years to respond#but please know it haunts me every day#and I will get to it eventually#even if it’s long after you unfollowed me potentially#anyway. in this house we stan fairness and authenticity and compassion towards both others and self#and we are a pro skepticism and pro sourced-information and pro scientific research around here#AND obsessed with experiencing existence through the realm of story#I hope you enjoy your time here! you can always stick around and I’m happy to see you#but absolutely unfollow me at any time! curate your online experience! it should be good for you#when I or my blog no longer spark joy#please unfollow. I literally do not care. your experience is supposed to be nice for you#take what serves you and leave the rest.#this is just tumblr. you have a whole life#I’ll never be mad#👍#2024#this is a lot of followers. like not five digits a lot but INCOMPREHENSIBLE numbers to ME regardless lol#thanks for following whatever your reason was#personal
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HI I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE INTO ADAMANDI HOLY SHIT. Can’t believe so few people know about this masterpiece of a musical
:OOOOO hai i agree it is criminally (haha yknow bc there are crimes..) underrated!! and really brilliant!!! discovered it literally midway through the week and akdfjgsjhdsjhjgdf
have a doodle of the saints :3
#this is kinda because on someone's insta i saw one of the saints doing a peace sign dksajh have smth silly#adamandi#ask me stuff???#realising i have to put my tags at the beginning before rambles or tumblr won't catch it#i am into adamandi. now. this is terrible timing because exam season but hMM the academic grindset really resonates now huh#the moment i caught myself in the ao3 tag i was like ''oh.''#i have so many thoughts. so many many thoughts. im so insane about this musical actually. also the fandom so far seems so nice#also yeah! the number of people who know about it is quite small huh.. it makes me kinda feel like im infiltrating the group... ?#late to the party as ever. but it's. so so good. such a musical ever the brainrot is real#also the way the creators themselves are active on tumblr :OO rly cool. ngl the tags they left under my posts had me#giggling screaming kicking my feet etcetera... and bc apparently i thrive off positive reinforcement that sparked the whole cut fruit art..#i am itching to know about the track thing with portia. also portrix real the lesbians keep winning!! also also i may have spent half a day#internet stalking ><. secret pinterest boards where :O#anyway thank you for the ask anon idk how to answer concisely but yes. adamandi. oh my god.#miscellany: can we appreciate ambrose's high notes.. also i was on wiki reading about ''apollonian vs dionysian'' it's insane#on yet another note. im entering my lin era rn i think. what a time. where can i run so true + vincent's surname my beloved. forest imagery#side note? tiny little detail i'd love to do smth about in the future: in word to the wise there's smth about “appraising your rings” and i#the one who pulls the strings beatrix mentions “bought my classmates rings” like. kjdfhsgjkhd???? thinks.#.. but new fav musical unlocked is all#between this and watt i am maybe into my murder musical era. confession that i don't do horror much because i have an overactive imaginatio#but like those two hit the spot. and i think organic imagery.. blood visuals.. is very cool// and the moment you start looking at literal#life and death situations then the dramaticness especially comes in and that's fun!! // also i read smth today about tragedy making you#appreciate irl stuff more. like ''wow thats messed up im sure glad that isnt me i love life''. and lowkey?? yeah
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#im about to FREAK OUT bcs of my boss#like yes i'm so thankful and happy to be employed. really.#but my boss is so#it feels like he's never doing anything.... he's only in the office max 2 days per week and idk#hes just very strange#but the worst thing is that he just takes his own work and dumps it on me#which is fine in some ways! like i sometimes just sit around with no work to do#so then it's good to have something to do#but today... not only did i already have a shit ton of work to do but#he tells me to book a hotel for a conference they're having ?? and that's not even near what's in my work description??????#(i basically just do numbers rn. i sit with spreadsheets and move numbers around and stuff like that)#and the worst part is that he told me i cant email them... i must call........#and i get that this sounds super silly to those who don't have a fear of speaking on the phone but#it makes me freak the f out#i cant even talk on the phone with my parents. or my brother. or a friend. like genuinely just no i cant#it brings out so so much anxiety in me#i get dizzy just thinking about it#and again this is really really not even similar to anything in my job description ???? i wouldn't have signed up if i knew i had to do thi#and when i have things that i need to do but i physically cant then my brain just goes into pause mode and i don't do anything at all#instead of doing one of the many things i *could* do (like write an email anyway)#there's just no way im gonna be able to call but idk what my boss is gonna think if i mail.... because he specifically said that i must cal#rrGGG im just so frustrated!!!!!#and i needed to get this out.... soz for the rant#i just think i would cry (genuinely) if i were to make that call#alSO BECAUSE THE INSTRUCTION IS SO UNCLEAR LIKE ALWAYS WITH THIS GUY#I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO#gonna go drink a lot of water so i dont cry now 👍 sorry bye
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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.
#medical stuff cw#i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat#vent cw#i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay#i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated#my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition#so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells#because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly#terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle#i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer#but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first#so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane#also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia#now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine#so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved#because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe#at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months#however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?
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i had fun today. thank you everyone who sent them for the birthday wishes and hanging out with my silly ass today 💜
#i dont usually like my birthdays cause im alone and things arent nice and bleh#and today wasnt really like anything super special even. just a little nice day with some good food and drinks and comfort content mostly#theres just something about like.. idk. making it this far with how the last year especially has been#so 32 has been a distant terrible number for me really. but here we are. for better or worse#now we just hope we make it to 33 somehow lmao#anyways i think i gotta sleep but thank you again yall are precious 💜💜💜#night is an absolute mess on main
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Been looking through some of my old instagram posts, and it brought me a lot of nostalgia, and also a bitter feeling knowing I'll probably never get the same amount of engagement on my art again...
#I really make an effort so that numbers dont affect me#but sometimes the worry comes back#I dont even think is just the engangement and likes what makes me a bit sad#it's the way I lost contact with a lot of mutuals from back in the day#like...what happened? is my art no longer good to them?#anyway; if we're still mutuals; love you ♥︎ thank you for apreciating my art for so long#also I now feel this need to draw digitally because of old drawings. we'll see if this turns into anything#rambling
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ohmygodddddd i am a fucking genius...👁️ the fic idea i just came up with. the Specific Line i thought up. its such a random idea but its so so cute and sweet and ugh its gonna plague me forever. kinda proud of myself to be honest so lets just hope i can Actually write it soon🧎
#mmm brain isnt always bad sometimes i guess.#its some unapologetic jake fluff btw#bc he deserves it#also i forgot i cant really spend time on tumblr today bc ill be busy again lol so tomorrow it is (hopefully)#but its gonna be a good day bc me and my bestie are going to see love lies bleeding And immaculate together😋😋#and probably get some lunch and maybe ice cream too#excited#have been looking forward to today#and then after today im looking forward to finally crawling back into my little tumblr cave#hopefully i can Actually Read.#and yk. writing would be nice too.#also im goin back on sertraline today and apparently it can be used for ocd too so i will try to see if any of That feels different as well#raaaaaa#still havent fully researched ocd tho🧎ive been procrastinating🧎as i do🧎#anyways goodnight its 5am.#shouldnt have had that 8pm iced capp#i downed that shit fr#ok bye bye love yall#talkin shit#FUCK YES THIS POSTED LIKE ON THE VERY SECOND 5:15 WAS ENDING YESSS#sorry i actually like am distressed when the minute(s) of my posts arent posted on a 0 or 5 or like the same as the previous number#and when it is i feel like actual relief and joy#and when it isnt i contemplate deleting and waiting until the desired minute to post again.#anddd sometimes i actually do.#i also will just wait several minutes to post something when its not the exact minute i want yet#or ill queue it for like. literally a couple minutes in the future.#yeah i have many issues#okay gn thank you for reading if you read🧍🫶#i always either suck my own dick or beat my own ass.#rarely ever is there an in between
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ohh wow i passed 1k followers on here while i wasnt looking, how very fun!! thank u all for hanging out ur all the very best <3<3<3
#teki talks#also gained a v recent mutual whom i am ECSTATIC to realize followed me back a few days ago!! hellooooo heehoo<3<3#ive really been busy lately so ive not looked at my activity stuff in a while and i was like 'woah!!'#also ive been getting notifs abt my posts making the rounds like 'oh 4k reblogs 10k reblogs' etc etc#but NOTHING on 1k followers which def FEELS LIKE SMTH I SHOULDVE BEEN NOTIFIED ON??#anyway yall are SO COOL and i love hanging out and whatnot#very grateful so many of u have joined me for the cowboy posting or magic boy posting or space boy posting or gay posting#there's a lot of different kinds of posting going on here but knowing people enjoy enough to follow is a LOT of fun!!#im sorry ive not been as active lately i got a job and im tryina write and all that good stuff!! but ur all always welc to reach out!!#tumblr is a platform where numbers mean fuckall but im thinking about having a thousand people in my house and that does make me feel smth#so thank you!!!!
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SPOTIFY: 9, 32, 99 💙💙💙
!!!! THANK YOU 💙💙💙
09: Warsaw - Lovejoy
32: Losing Face - Wilbur Soot
99: Your Love (Déjà Vu) - Glass Animals
Three very different songs, good numbers :D
Thanks for the ask <33333
#i wanted to say that out of those 3 warsaw might be my fave one.#like duh you idiot that's why it's placed highest sdghjkl#IT MIGHT BE BED TIME OKAY#anyway thanks for sending me numbers :) i hope you have a good day <33#jester answers#narcissusanasui#<3#own
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