#thankful for a genuinely good rich fulfilling day of class/prep

[bluesidedown]

Gratitude time

[journeynaut]

This decade I went from being 14 to 24. From my understanding this means this decade has pretty much shaped my tastes, beliefs, and personality more than any other decade will. It’s also an important decade because at the beginning of the decade I felt like a real person, and now I feel like a ghost that occasionally almost inhabits the same space as this flesh prison.

Anyway, here’s a list of games that shaped me in reverse chronological order for maximum pretension. Spoilers and typos will be abundant. 

Red Dead Redemption 2 (2018)

I like little, mostly irrelevant prepping activities in games. Currently, I’m playing Death Stranding, and my Norman Reedus always puts on a cap. Mostly to cover up his weird little pony, but also just as a thing to do to focus before a mission. Like, listening to Friends in the Armed Forces by Thursday before the helicopter lands. Like, grabbing your wallet in the morning. Or, like in Arthur Morgan’s case, putting on a bandana before being a nasty crime boy.

Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. I always play characters as good and pure as possible. But after I got done doing my good boy crimes I could always return to camp. Sure, camp was always moving as we ran, but the people were there every time. The world of RDR2 is beautiful, I think the characters were my favorite thing about this game. The entire plot was that camp, the outcasts in it, and the dreams they followed. They fused a cowboy simulator with a cult simulator. It says, don’t worry, friend - just keep going and Eden is the next job.

This is a game where you give, break, and are broken in pursuit of a lie. This is a game where your perfect life never arrives and the simple pleasures you find are taken. In the end, you only do whatever little bit of good you can, thank your horse for carrying your weight and the weight of everything you carry, and lay down to go peacefully.

Night in the Woods (2017)

This last decade took my memory from me. When I was a freshman in college taking an intro psych class, the class took a short term memory test. I got second in the whole class. Now I’m sitting here trying to remember who said what in this game. But regardless, one character says something like, “Getting older is your list of first times growing shorter while your list of never agains grows longer.” Heavily paraphrased, probably.

I think there’s a Bojack Horseman episode where he says, life is a series of closing doors, isn’t it? In our modern capitalist hell, very few don’t get trapped. This game understands that sometimes you can’t get out, and sometimes you just need to break some fluorescent bulbs at a dumpster. Or in my case, procrastinate on my life by playing this game while everything fell apart around me.

World of Warcraft: Legion (2016)

Tanking in WoW was my most fulfilling gaming experience of the decade. I wasn’t great, but I could be good occasionally. There are a few moments of genuine pride I can remember. Which, now that I think back, might be some of the last times I felt pride.

I had never played WoW or even an MMO before Legion, but everyone has to get into an MMO when they’re in college, right? So I got into it for about a year, and I played it way too much. So much so, I lost myself after I stopped, both personally and in games. It was hard for me to stick to any game for a long time after I stopped playing, and it honestly still is.

It wasn’t the tanking or the pride or the addictive design elements that kept me coming back - it was the people. This became a Return To game for me. Whether I was playing seriously or just goofing off, I would return to the trans mog shop in Stormwind. There were a few players who would gather consistently and talk between queues. I barely knew anything about these people but I spent hours there with them. There was my healer and best friend who I played with every day. There was the carpet layer from Hawaii. There was the player we always assumed was a young girl but turned out to be some rich man? And behind the anonymity of my characters I was able to comfortably interact with the regulars and the passerbys and mess with the assholes. I learned that pretending to be an actor playing someone else is the best way to talk to people.

Even though I barely knew these people they became friends in the modern way people become friends where you see them every day, but are also shocked to find out any detail of their personal lives. I often wonder what happened to all the people I played with. I never said bye to them or anything. I wasn’t planning on never playing again. One day it just happened.

I’ve often thought about playing again. When WoW Classic came out I thought about playing it. I’ve even thought about getting into FF14. But you can never go home, right? Some things that were good can’t be good again.

Inside (2016)

God, this is extremely my shit. I don’t have anything touching or personal to say about this. Every moment of this game is so tight and perfect, and the aesthetic is spot on. Run on, my child, go be one with your blob friends.

Or maybe I just like it because I too am a disgusting blob monster haunted by a dreary dilapidated landscape.

Firewatch (2016)

The plot of this game is messy overall, but I think about the character interactions all the time. This is a perfect example on how good dialogue isn’t realistic. It should be what we want reality to be. Henry and Delilah have such a believable relationship, strictly because I wanted to believe in it. I wanted to believe two people could always be so perfect and so witty.

And Firewatch just won’t let you believe in it. At the end you can beg and beg for Delilah to stay, and she won’t. The game gently pats you on the head, and says, sometimes people are too broken to be perfect with each other.

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (2015)

The PC version lets you set custom music to play as you drop in from the helicopter for your missions. This led to me hearing the beginning to Thursday’s Friends in the Armed Forces god knows how many times. Sure, maybe a 2009 emo song blaring out of a helicopter in 1980’s Afghanistan doesn’t exactly fit, but the mood fit. And it helped set the mood for the routine of going on missions.

Routine is what this game does so well. It’s an incomplete game with a not great story, and it fails at being a good Metal Gear Solid game. But the routine and mechanics blend together to create one of the best playing action games ever made. I never got tired of walking around my base, of boarding my helicopter to go drop into the desert, of launching random animals into the air with reverse parachutes.

This game also led to me formulating my Return To/Go Out theory of games, which I believe most games fall into. An old Mario game is a great example of a Go Out game. You never return anywhere; the princess is always in another castle. The Animal Crossing games maybe exist as the perfect example of a Return To game because you never even go out anywhere. You’re always there, where you mean to be. MGSV falls mostly on the Return To side of the spectrum, as it focuses on building up and managing your base and the people on it, something I’ll always be a sucker for.

Her Story (2015)

This is one of the last games that made me feel smart. As a person who feels chronically dumb as shit, that’s pretty rare. Sure, everyone in my life, and the university I went to, and all my grades say I’m not dumb. But we know that’s just because I tricked them all, and I’m actually a complete fool. But diving into this game’s wild and twisting non-linear story made me feel like a detective.

The Witcher 3 (2015)

Move out of the way Skyrim. The Witcher 3 was actually the best fantasy game of the decade. I played through all of The Witcher 2 in preparation for 3. I became so invested and involved with this universe. I feel like I should have so much more to say about this. In what was a very turbulent year of my life, this was the perfect escape. The world, writing, and characters are all so beautifully done. The DLC provides an emotional finale for the story. I never understood Gwent? But I did everything else in this game, and I still think about escaping into it again.

Also Triss for life.

Also also god, that show sucks shit though, doesn’t it?

Life is Strange (2015)

I love everything about Life is Strange. I love the melodrama, the stilted dialogue, the songs that still make me cry. I love the weird high school that resembles no high school ever. I’m not too much of a fan about what it says about me as a person though.

See, I let the entire town die to save Chloe. The crazy part is that I didn’t even think Max and Chloe were good together. When the game gave me a chance to kiss Chloe, I didn’t take it. I thought they had been apart too long, that they had too much personal baggage, that they were going through too much. But when the moment came I couldn’t let her go. I let the entire town get blown away to save her.

Transistor (2014)

Hey, do you want a cyberpunk, post-rock fueled, murder revenge love story?

Transistor had such an impact on me that Red and the Transistor are still my phone’s wallpaper and lockscreen. It’s the game I always mean to get around to playing again, but year after year I don’t. Maybe one day I will, or maybe that’s just what I tell myself about most things in life.

Regardless, this game acts as a perfect spiritual sequel to the studio’s first game, Bastion. In Bastion, everyone wanted to live in the perfect world that had been, but was now destroyed. In Transistor, the world exists - it’s there and could theoretically become whatever people want, and yet, no one wants to live in it. You’re not even trying to save the world; you want escape as much as anyone else. You just need revenge for the small part of your personal world that has been taken.

Also, at the end you get to basically fight yourself, and I’m such a sucker for when games have you fight someone with the same powers as you.

Gone Home (2013)

I had never been in love when I played this game. I thought I had, but being a teenager is dumb and weird. Of all the first times I wish I could experience again in games, this is up there on that list. Maybe even the top. Mainly because I understand love now, and I think it would make this game hurt more.

Both times I played Gone Home I sobbed, and I’m certain if I played it again, I would sob again. This was the first game to impact me in that way. As I’ve grown more and more dead inside, as I feel less and less, I seek those experiences out. Why yes, I would like to play whatever the sad new indie game is. Why yes, I would like to listen to that song that makes me emotional over and over. That scene in a show made me cry? Yes, I will absolutely watch it again.

Gone Home, like Spec Ops, taught me so much about what games could be and do. In a decade of walking simulators, Gone Home still stands out as one of the best.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf (2013)

Animal Crossing is the best goddamn game series of all time, and this is the best one because you can stack fruit.

Hotline Miami (2012)

I have never done cocaine in the 80’s, but that’s pretty much this game, right? This murder simulator game does something to your body on like, a visceral level. Imagine it’s like your 20th attempt on a level. Your hands are shaking with adrenaline, but you have a careful plan. It immediately goes bad so you just panic and start running around knifing fools and it somehow works out anyway. That’s the thing that makes this work so well, and also the thing the devs absolutely did not understand when they made Hotline Miami 2.

You know what else makes this game great? The vibes. Miss me with your vibe checks if you’re not putting off Hotline Miami vibes. It’s the trippy and psychedelic story, it’s the way you have to walk through the bodies of everyone you just murked at the end of the level, it’s the game constantly asking if you feel good about what you’re doing. Hotline Miami and Spec Ops made me reevaluate how I thought about violence in games. Which isn’t to say I don’t play violent games, just that I think more about what the games are asking me to do.

Borderlands 2 (2012)

My experience with Borderlands was different than how most people played it. I didn’t really uh, have friends, so I played it alone. But it wasn’t an inferior experience. I got to play my haiku spouting sniper at my own pace. All the guns were mine. I could laugh at the dumb jokes as long as I wanted.

Hey wait, actually, is this game still funny? If I thought it was extremely funny originally, would it still hold up? Like, Mr. Satan being Mr. Torgue still has to be funny, right?

Anyway, most of the DLC for this game is pretty mediocre or just straight up bad, but the Tiny Tina DLC is some of the best DLC of the decade. Those madmen just made D&D in a goofy ass game where guns yell at you when you shoot them, and somehow made it an emotionally resonant end to the story.

Spec Ops: The Line (2012)

We all really missed what this game was trying to tell us, huh? It constantly asks you if you’re okay with the dehumanization of minorities and the glorification of imperialism and the military that runs rampant through games. Here we are going into 2020, and goobers are still trying to argue games don’t have politics in them. Anyway, gamers are dumb as shit, and we should have listened to Spec Ops more.

Portal 2 (2011)

This came out at the beginning of this decade, huh? Guess I gotta break out the walker and sign up for AARP. Anyway, being funny is hard. I mean, I’ve never managed to be funny so I assume it’s hard. I mean, sometimes my life is funny in a cosmically ironic way, like I’m god’s personal clown and not in on the joke.

Anyway, anyway, the puzzles are fantastic, and Portal 2 is funny as hell in a way I’m pretty sure would still hold up. The humor is definitely more overt than the original Portal, but Cave Johnson is a god tier character. I can’t remember what I did yesterday, and I still remember Cave Johnson lines from like, 8 years ago.

Minecraft (2011)

*twirls mustache* Not to sound like a hipster, but I started playing Minecraft in 2010 before release. My first world seed was the most perfect seed I ever encountered. It was a large island, the size of which, I never encountered again. Like, it was big enough that it felt like I had to branch out to explore, but also small enough that I could know it all. Playing on that island was the most pure experience I had with Minecraft, in retrospect. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I didn’t realize that actually everyone else was way better at building things and playing the game than I was.

But eventually you get bored of everything, right? So I found a server and joined the forums. Over time I grew a bit bored of the game, and eventually realized I wasn’t very good at it. But I stuck around on the forums. Like, for years. Playing on that server, even as my time actually playing lessened, and being on the forums defined my teenage years.

I had a complicated relationship with the forums and the game, though. I’m not good with people. That’s just something I’ve had to learn to accept. But I’ve actually gotten better over the years. Back during my teenage years I was awful with people. I was antisocial, standoffish, pretentious, etc. I also felt like I couldn’t get anyone to like me, which I now realize was my own fault. There was a group of players I wanted to be a part of, but also could never really break into. The game and forums became what I was experiencing and also everything I couldn’t experience. It’s what I did every day but also what I was missing out on. Even today my thoughts on Minecraft are complicated. That one song, you know the one, always makes me emotional.

I originally had a different end planned to whatever this list is. It was gonna be a pretentious ending about how a few years ago I tried to go back and play Minecraft but just couldn’t because you can never go home again. I was gonna talk about my first world seed and the optimism and exploration I experienced, and it was obviously gonna mimic my decade. Because, you know, pretentiousness. But I can’t do that now.

See, I just looked up that server, and I found out it’s still active. The website looks like when I left. The same people are in charge. It’s like a time capsule. Due to a lot of personal turmoil, I asked for a server ban and a forum ban to stop myself getting back on in January 2015. That was when my time with Minecraft came to an end. But here’s the crazy thing: a couple of weeks ago, almost 5 years after I quit, someone posted on my forum profile that they missed me. And we weren’t even close friends, I thought. I mean, no one liked me, right? And it wasn’t just this one person. Multiple people had left similar messages on my profile over the years.

Normally I don’t like when people have memories and perceptions of me. Like, hell is other people, right? But this kind of hurt my insides deep down, like nothing has in a while. I don’t quite have words for it because it’s so personally tied to how I felt about Minecraft, and thus the forums, and thus a lot of this decade. Does this mean that multiple people I’ve encountered over the decade miss me? That some amount of people greater than zero miss me not being around?

Anyway, this has gotten off track, but also maybe it hasn’t. The point I was trying to make was to make a pretentious list about how silly little things we do in our free time can affect us years later in ways we won’t realize and sometimes can’t understand.

In conclusion, games track better with the most personal moments of my decade better than almost anything. Games are great. The people who play them are often terrible. Video games forever.

[shareyoursmile]

How to Become A Leader Behind The Bar • A Bar Abov...

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How to Become A Leader Behind The Bar • A Bar Abov...

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  A role in leadership can reap rewards at any stage of your career. Becoming a team leader can certainly be a stepping stone to management, but it can also provide immediate benefits in your current situation: Leaders are given opportunities for creative control and asked to help develop menus. They motivate their team to respect their work and each other. They are able to convey their concerns in a way that inspires management to care.

While certain people may possess a natural aptitude for leadership, it is a skill that can be taught to anyone with the interest to learn. Mindfully employing these four skills lays the foundation for excellent leadership.

  Set a Great Example

Being around someone who takes pride in their work is infectious, encouraging others to do the same. Make it your mission to be the person you would want working with you when you’re three deep sans barback.

Exhibit strong work habits. Take pride in the job you do and make sure the way you present yourself reflects that pride. Showing up fresh and on time is a good start. Take care of your tools. Keep your station neat and clean. Perform the job duties you were hired to do.

Be positive. This doesn’t mean you should ignore problems, but using prep time to moan about the sorry state of the juicer isn’t constructive. Leaders understand that mental fortitude is fragile, and negativity erodes the spirits of everyone who hears it. When leaders identify problems, their aim is finding a solution, not an audience.

Lend a hand. If a teammate is running late, a leader will be the one helping to set up their well. They come back from the walk-in with enough limes to restock every station. They ask what else is needed before walking out the door. Leaders know that the key to a smooth shift is working as a team.

At its heart, leadership is about inspiring the best from people, and nothing stimulates a team better than a good example.

  Team leaders extend their respect to all members of the team. Want to know if a bartender is a hack? Observe how they treat the barback. Badmouthing or demeaning another employee exhibits a lack of appreciation for the job being performed. This underestimation becomes apparent when coworkers are absent. Without someone to perform the barback’s duties, previously taken for granted, even a slow shift can bury the entire team.

Hospitality is, in many ways, a performance. Try to use those skills to exhibit goodwill towards the people you work with. Greeting someone makes them feel welcomed, acknowledged, and sets the tone for the interactions between you and them for the entire shift. You may never be more than colleagues with these people, but that doesn’t mean your relationship should feel strained.

A bar’s success is directly proportional to the courtesy its team displays towards one another. Leaders inspire with exemplary work, but keep their egos in check.

  Be A Student

There are always new things to discover about flavor, technique, and hospitality. Learning the rules makes you better prepared to break them.

With the wealth of information easily accessible online and in books, the question isn’t where to find interesting articles, but what to read first. A determined bartender could learn a lifetime’s worth of skills in a few hours a week. Books on cocktail techniques and history have obvious practical applications, but reading an article on sake might give you the confidence to use it in a drink. Studying the relationship between flavors in food can easily inform how you pair liqueurs in a cocktail. Learning about how dehydrators work may prompt experimentation to up your garnish game.

Continuing your education will not only provide you with anecdotes to impress your guests, but will also better prepare you for mentorship. Mentors get the dual benefit of cementing their knowledge for themselves each time they repeat it to train another. Aim to be someone people can approach with their questions, just remember the best teachers are always looking for what they can, in turn, learn from others.

  Practice Self-Care

Despite overwhelming science that proper self-care benefits both a person’s productivity and mindset, it’s still underrated in the industry. Following a two-pronged attack will ensure you’re bringing the best version of you to each shift:

First, recharge your body. Bartending not only wreaks havoc on our joints and muscles, but often the stress and frenetic pace of service can manifest physically as well. Make time for adequate sleep. Eat a nutrient-rich meal. Exercise your body in some way. Even low-impact activities like walking or stretching can do a lot for stamina, preventing injuries, and relieving stress.

Next, reset your mind. When we’re busy, the days can start to feel like they’re just sleep, work, repeat. Prioritizing an activity you love will allow you to gain back some agency over how your time is spent. Take a photography class. Learn to cook. Join a pinball league. Read a novel. Engage your mind in a way that makes you feel like you’ve lived a good day.

Compelling leaders are calmer under stress and less irritable when circumstances make them feel reactionary. Taking care of yourself makes you better equipped to take care of others.

Leadership can be profoundly rewarding, even if your aspirations don’t include management. Mindful leaders use their own positive example to inspire the best from their team. Being a passionate, present participant can stave off apathy and imbue your work with meaning. Becoming a team leader can help create more fulfillment at any stage of your career.

      Just wanted to let you know: sometimes we mention and link to products or services that give us a small commission if you buy. I wanted to assure you that we only mention stuff we genuinely believe in! Thank you for clicking our links and supporting the blog!

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[sheilabennati]

Hi guys,

So I thought I would take this opportunity to respond to questions I’ve been getting from social media. I finally got the time to compile and share them with the wider audience, and of course for Kyla’s reference.

    What does “Momzyk” mean?

Mama Kyla.

Why the name “Momzyk”?

It just crossed my mind a while back, I thought it was cool, catchy and unforgettable. I’m such a sucker for originality! I immediately created my Instagram page and blog thereafter.

You enjoy cooking and baking a lot, when did you start?

It has been about two decades now, I’ve had a love for both and spent a good part of my life in the kitchen. At the age of 8 I remember my sister and I attempting to make chapatis at our dads house, after all that hard work they turned great as “chapati scones” lol, so we just jammed them up and had them with milo. I also remember my first business in high school, looking back I see my entrepreneurship skills where well underway. I sold chocolate rich cake slices to classmates and friends. Reminiscing on an all girls’ household and the first-born syndrome came with many responsibilities despite having staff. On Sundays we took turns cooking and my mom aways looked forward to my food preps because I always balanced the meals just right and made the best stews, mac and cheese and lasagna. My sister (Tendo) was the pastry pro.

Was healthy baking a choice or mandatory?

It was/is more of a choice once I hit my teens, I realized what I ate affected my general health and acne prone skin a lot. I don’t have a sweet tooth and can’t say I ever had, rarely had sodas growing up, and if I did it was either bitter lemon or ginger ale.

How do you balance it all? Motherhood? Studies? Business? Profession? And still remain sane?

I multitask a lot, get overwhelmed at times and have a “nothing day” where I do absolutely nothing related to work, social media updates and the like. You need a day off to remain sane, plan ahead and especially prioritize.

How long have you been doing yoga?

I started in 2011 and love it.

Do you offer yoga classes and where?

I’m now off-location, so I work mostly with groups and individuals, but I have few projects lined up, follow my Instagram page for updates: @momzyk

You have a lactose-free recipe book now, do you ever stop?

No! For as long as I have breath I shall keep going.

Have you always been lactose intolerant?

No. It only started postpartum, I’m slowly trying to fight it.

Are you some sort of vegetarian?

Can’t really say I am. I don’t consume red meat for one, just chicken and fish. I also have vegan Wednesday meals lined up weekly.

You do healthy baking and deliveries, do you have classes?

Yes I do, I have been for the past two years, I do home baking for groups and individuals now and then.

Will you share your recipes and ingredients?

I will eventually, until then purchase my recipe book HERE

How did you become a wellness coach?

I’m a certified Life Coach under Destiny Life Coaching and the International Coaches Federation . I also hold a Wellness Coaching certificate under Womanly Wealth Academy

Why I’m sharing my qualifications first is the simple fact that I stand out as a dedicated wellness coach, I always come across “self-acclaimed” Wellness Coaches because it’s now a trend but lack the theoretical zeal and genuine expertise.  I started with a life coaching course because I knew I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives and lead a purpose driven life. My motivation was driven by the people I was subconsciously coaching already, I was and still am the go-to for many of my friends and family members so it only seemed wise to take the course and gain a source of income too. During the duration of the course I realized that I already had a more defined aura, and that was in health and wellness. for one I’m a health enthusiast from teaching yoga, meditating, healthy eating and generally leading a healthy lifestyle. Now I’m fulfilling my calling and indulging my mission to give back.

Do you coach in Kenya only?

No I don’t. Though I’m based here at the moment, I mostly meet my clients face-to-face. I also do online sessions and have Skype coaching sessions too. I’m really embracing technology the best way I can.

Who does your photography?

I do all that, I’m a self-taught photographer, thanks to google and YouTube.

Who does your graphics?

I do. I design my own logos, artwork, website, business cards, posters, flyers etc

How do I get a hold of you?

Through my website link as all my details are there.

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  Thanks guys for your support and encouragement.

      Q & A Hi guys, So I thought I would take this opportunity to respond to questions I've been getting from social media.