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oracle-of-dream · 7 months ago

Text

Stress Relief

Minors DNI

Summary: You've been away on a business trip that's making you miserable. Wonwoo has just the thing to make you both feel better...

Warnings: Male reader, Business worker reader, Fluffy hair Wonwoo, Jerking off, Filming, Phone sex, Wonwoo is so perf

Wordcount: 1.2k

You let out a heavy sigh as you closed the door to your hotel room. Today was the worst.

You were out of town on a business trip for a few days, which was pretty normal. But the irritating part was that your boss was up your ass about the details, bearing down on every single little thing you messed up on.

You didn't greet the client right

You didn't offer them something to drink

You should've held the door for them

You didn’t offer your umbrella since it was raining (Letting you get soaked)

You could hear your boss' voice grating in your ears, dreading tomorrow as you did. But worst of all, you missed your boyfriend, Wonwoo. He's extremely self-sufficient, so he doesn't check in with you to see how you're doing until the end of the day when you call him. You knew he was trying to be respectful and not distract you while you worked, but maybe a little distraction was needed from the disaster of a day you had...

You changed into your pajamas as you called him.

"Hey, baby!" Wonwoo's deep voice rolled through the speaker.

"Woowie!" You cheered in a babyish voice, feeling the responsibility of being an adult lifted off your shoulders. Wonwoo always loved taking care of you and letting you do whatever you wanted, even if that meant you got a little spoiled because of it. He couldn't care less.

"How was your day?"

Your expression soured instantly as you thought about that day you'd had. "It was super bad! I hate it here!"

Wonwoo chuckled at you pouting. "Don't be like that. Go on and tell me all about it, I'm listening." There was some shuffling from Wonwoo, probably him getting into bed... You talked to him about your day, every detail your boss picked at you for–even critiquing your boss sometimes. Wonwoo silently listened to you, occasionally throwing in an "mhm" or a grunt to let you know he was still listening as you ranted. Some of them sounded more like moans, and you felt your cock twitch at hearing it. By the end, you'd tired yourself out and melted into the bed as Wonwoo spoke, "Jeez, baby, I'm sorry he gave you such a tough time."

"I know right!? He's so unbelievable." You heard another grunt from Wonwoo while you spoke, this one was more audible, making you trip on your words. "A-Are you alright?"

"Huh, no, yeah, I'm fine. It's just my game," Wonwoo assured you. "Please keep talking," His voice was a little hoarse this time and his tone was almost begging. You told him what you'd had for lunch and dinner, skipping over that you'd missed breakfast. "That sounds so good, baby," Wonwoo moaned.

You squirmed in the bed, turned on by the base of his voice. "I don't know what to talk about anymore... What game are you playing?"

Wonwoo was caught off guard by your question, strangely stumbling to answer. "It's–um, a new release. You wouldn't know it. Fuck..."

"Well tell me about it anyway, I know you like sharing." You listened closely as you could barely register him breathing heavily.

"Sharing. Right," your boyfriend's voice shook. "I-It's–um... A platformer, the ones where you need to jump from place," Wonwoo's voice caught in his throat.

"And?" You added.

Wonwoo whined, "More?"

"Yeah, keep telling me!" You closed your eyes as you listened to him closely, your hand sliding under your covers to rub your member.

"Well–it's just, I-I don't know..."

"Is the game hard?"

"It's so hard..."

"Well, I know you can do it. You're such a smart boy." Wonwoo groaned again, enjoying your praise. "Is the game long?"

"It's pretty long..."

"And are you going fast or slow?"

"...slow at first. Faster now."

"You think you can go faster?" You touched yourself to his words. Long strokes, starting slow but getting faster, squeezing your shaft hard.

"I-If you want me to."

"I like it fast," You say as a moan slips past your lips. You bite down on your tongue to stop more from coming out as you notice Wonwoo's gotten quiet. "Are you still there?"

"I-I'll be right back!" Wonwoo blurted out before hanging up. You blinked at your phone in shock. He hung up!? You immediately called him back but instantly got sent to voicemail. You sat in bed, stunned at him. Did you push him too far with the tease? You thought it was a weird cute mutual thing...

After a few minutes, you started getting ready for bed and turned off the lights. As you checked your messages, you had one from Wonwoo, with a video.

"Sorry I hung up, I was making this for you. You mentioned wanting a video like this a while back, but it was embarrassing."

You played the video. Wonwoo was wearing his glasses and a plain white shirt, at his desk in his office at home. He awkwardly looked at the camera as he set his phone down and answered your phone call from before. You could hear your voice from the phone, but your eyes were glued to Wonwoo as he stared into the camera. Slowly, to make as little noise as possible, he lifted his shirt to his lips and held it with his teeth, showing his abs. Then he slid down his pants just enough for his cock to pop out. He started pinching his nipples and jerking off to you as he listened to you. His face was pink, his nipples hard, and his dick leaked in the prettiest way. His eyes were heavy-lidded as he stroked faster and harder, right when you asked about his game. When you called him "smart boy" he almost fell out of his chair, ripping his hands off his cock so he didn't finish.

He didn't stop for long.

Hand now attached to his cock again, "It's pretty long." Wonwoo's strokes moved his full length. "...Slow at first, faster now." Wonwoo's hand worked himself over so fast his body started shaking. You could hear the slight sound of his hand with precum around his member.

His body glistened, his shirt stretched as he tried not to moan louder, and his hair stuck to his forehead as sweat dripped onto his stomach. When you asked him to go faster, Wonwoo's fucked out expression as he looked at the camera told you everything. He was gonna blow.

"I-I'll be right back!" He blurted out. As soon as he hung up, he stood so his cock was above the table and finished. His cock shot ropes, making a mess of the table, his phone, and even shooting onto the camera lens. Through the blurry video, you saw Wonwoo collapse into the chair as he tried to catch his breath. "I... love you, baby," He whispered as he wiped the lens clean, giving you an up-close look at him. "Come home soon, I miss you." He smiled goofily and turned off the camera, ending the video.

You texted immediately, "Wonwoo!?"

"Yeah?"

"This was so fucking hot. I need another."

"I tried recording it on my own. But it was so hard to cum, without hearing you..." You imagined Wonwoo's expression when he texted that, probably covering his face in embarrassment.

"When I get home, we're fucking. End of story."

"Okay, babe."

You watched the video again, jerking off until you were satisfied. As you drifted off to sleep, you wondered how you could repay him...

#oracle of dreams #kpop x male reader #kpop x male reader smut #x male reader #kpop male reader #x reader #wonwoo #svt #seventeen #x male smut #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo x y/n #wonwoo smut #wonwoo svt #wonwoo seventeen

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signanothername · 3 months ago

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I haven't stopped thinking about when you made that comic about Killer healing and there was one panel with Dream that said something along the lines of

'His fire burned out a long time ago, but he's still going' (that's so wrong I'm sorry I forgot)

and Dream is such a beautiful character to me and it just like. Struck something in my brain and I've been writing and drawing him nonstop now...

like yeah, he's fucked up dude 😭 but despite it all he hasn't given up and that's so beautiful to me that he keeps going and stuff

I was going to put this into prettier words but failed, sorry for ranting </3

The comic Boris is referring to <3

And no like that’s genuinely one of the reasons Dream is my absolute beloved

Cause in a sense, so many of us are like Dream, we’re burned out and we’re tired and life keeps kicking our asses but we try our hardest and keep going anyway, Dream tries to be the best he can be and looks to be genuinely helpful and kind in a cruel world even when he genuinely just needs a rest y’know?

Not that I think anyone should feel the need to keep going in the sense that, it’s ok to sometimes slow down or stop, life isn’t worth that much of a fuss, sometimes it’s ok to say “fuck you life” and just do whatever makes us happy without worrying about what life has in store for us, cause in reality, life doesn’t control us, we control it, it’s up to you whether to worry yourself about every little thing that happens or to put your own wellbeing first

That’s why I’m planning some comics with Dream in which he takes a much needed rest, cause he deserves to give himself a break, he deserves to heal, he deserves to sit down and process his own trauma and emotions (so does Nightmare) instead of chasing life around

But yeah, I genuinely adore Dream for his character and persistence, he just does his best, even when he makes mistakes, cause he’s learning as time goes on :D

(and don’t be sorry it’s ok words are really hard, believe me i know as I suffer putting them together dhhdhdhhd)

#anothers ask #dream sans

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kisakis-boyfriend · 1 year ago

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Kinktober Day 26: Mirror Sex

Pairings: Kisaki x male reader

Warnings: Male!reader, dom/top!reader, sub/bottom!Kisaki, praise, body worship, dacryphilia, slight angst (When is there not with Tetta?)

Prompt List by: starsandskies 🧡

Sneaking up on Kisaki while he was getting dressed or undressed was one of your favorite things to do. The annoyed whine that he let out once he recognized that it was your arms wrapping around his waist was too cute, and you knew he wasn't genuinely annoyed anyways. Kisaki liked to pout and pretend that he didn't enjoy affection sometimes, but the way he always melted into the touches and relaxed around you told a different story

The story of a touch-starved individual who craved the love that you so eagerly showered him in. Closing his eyes and sighing while you finished unbuttoning his dress shirt for him, and of course feeling up his pretty chest before slipping it off. Little kisses peppered on his shoulders as he closed his eyes, exhausted from work and secretly happy to indulge in your usual pampering. “Tired, love?” You questioned

A short, “Yeah.” was his reply. There was a tinge of sadness behind Kisaki's words that only someone close to him would be able to pick up on. It was a sadness that you were quite familiar with, having known Kisaki for so long now. To any outsiders, Tetta Kisaki held himself in such high regard, towering above the normies and weaklings. He was untouchable; a god looking down at the world below from his throne room (office). To you though? To you, Tetta's insecurities were glaringly obvious, they would always creep in during stressful times when he was at his most vulnerable. You weren't a miracle worker, you couldn't erase these things completely but...you knew of one way to pull him out of the dark pit of despair that he so easily fell into

“'M sorry, let me take care of you?” You whispered against his skin, burying your face in the crook of his neck. Hugging him just a bit tighter as your warm arms covered his torso and kept his back pressed against you

Kisaki pondered the question for a minute, he had some idea of what ‘taking care of him’ might entail, though whatever you were thinking was probably exactly what he needed right now. You were good at that, figuring out just the right way to spoil him and make everything feel right again. You knew when your husband needed tenderness and cuddles, you knew when he needed to be fucked so hard that he couldn't think about anything else, and you knew exactly when he just needed to sit with you, either in silence or ranting about his problems to the best listener in his life

After thinking about it while you squeezed him tightly and continued trailing gentle kisses along the back of his neck, Kisaki answered. “Sure. Just...keep me close, ok?” The vulnerability in his voice was something only you were privy to, because only you could earn enough trust from him to lower those impossibly high walls

So you hummed a response and began working your magic, kissing Kisaki's neck and sliding your hands down to his hips. Slow and methodical movements that would work him up while you complimented the hell out of him. Undoing his belt and slipping one hand down the front to rub over his underwear, stroking him softly while you lovingly sucked a hickey onto his neck, “Ooh, you liked that, huh? Keep making those sweet noises for me, baby~ ”

Casually pivoting your bodies towards the full-length mirror in the corner of your bedroom, you began grinding against Kisaki's ass while your grip on his hip tightened just a bit. He didn't notice it yet as his eyes were still closed in bliss, too busy enjoying your lips all over his skin and your hand down his pants. You admired his gorgeous body in the mirror, watching as he started to hump his hardening member into your hand, groaning as he lets himself go and gets lost in the pleasure. The perfect time to work in your loving words, “So beautiful...look at you, so pretty when you get into it.”

Kisaki threw his head back against your shoulder, always so flustered by these things. His eyes were squeezed shut as your words danced around in his head, quickly pushing away any thoughts about work or his day and filling it with your sappy comments. A sudden thrust against his ass caused him to moan loudly, his hips stuttering then speeding up as he searched for any more friction than what you were giving him. You took the hint though, tugging at Kisaki's pants so that he'd let you remove them along with his boxers and discarding the clothing off to the side

Now that he was fully nude, you had a lovely view in the mirror. Continuing to jerk him off, albeit at a faster pace than the one earlier, you thrust against him sharply in an attempt to get him to open his eyes. It took a few tries but eventually he did, noticing his reflection staring at him while yours smirked, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Y/n...” He whined, attempting to look away only for a hand to grab his chin and force him to watch while you touched him

“Shh, I wanted you to see how fucking pretty you look when I fuck you.” You purred, unbuttoning your own pants and sliding them down until your cock sprang free, rubbing against Kisaki's tight hole while you groaned in his ear. The feeling of finally pressing against him properly only made you more excited, bucking your hips and biting into his soft skin, surely leaving another mark amongst the many already covering his neck and shoulders

“Stay here, I'll only be a second, ok?” Kisaki begrudgingly lets you unwrap your arm from around his waist, watching impatiently while you fetch the bottle of lube stashed in your bedside dresser. Tugging you towards him once you were in range again, which earned a chuckle from you. He could be so needy sometimes...but you loved that about him too, kissing his back while you lubed yourself up. The wet sounds of you stroking yourself made Kisaki squirm where he stood, feeling your hand brush against his skin while you jerked yourself off vigorously, probably biting your lip while you imagined penetrating his cute ass

“Mmm....a-aah...” Kisaki's sweet voice graced your ears as you slid one finger into him, using the lube to easily enter his hole and stretch him out. Still forcing him to look at himself while you fingered him open, the lewd sounds from the amount of lube that you used caused a pretty blush to spread on his cheeks. “M-more...y/n...” Kisaki begged, the last shreds of dignity tearing as you added another digit inside of him, pumping them in and out while he watched his mouth hang open in a silent moan

Shallow breaths filled the room when you ceased your ministrations, pulling your fingers out and quickly replacing them with your cock. The lube and your expert fingering had prepped him enough so that you could easily slip into his wet hole, enjoying how his eyes rolled back when you finally did so. Another desperate grunt leaving Kisaki's lips while his insides tried to accommodate your size, noticing the obvious bulge in his stomach every time you pushed in deeply

“Ooh baby...you take me so well. So good for me~ ” You cooed, resting your forehead against your husband's back and sliding the hand that was keeping his gaze forward down his lovely chest. Able to feel his heartbeat for a second when you passed over his ribcage on your way down, a feeling that always drove you crazy. “Does it feel good, love?” A breathy ‘uh-huh’ followed your question while Kisaki pushed back onto your dick, making it hit deeper inside of him as he met every thrust

“Good, I want you to feel so good, Tetta.” You said in between more open-mouthed kisses to his neck, pulling his hips flush with yours and burying yourself within him for a moment. “Fuuuuck....I want you to...feel absolutely amazing, baby~ ” Speeding up your thrusts this time, the sound of skin hitting skin filled your ears while you railed Kisaki. A familiar feeling pooled within his gut as his release rapidly approached, causing his pretty thighs to tense and then tremble

“Aw baby, you close?” Kisaki whimpered while shaking his head yes, gripping your wrists tightly while they held his hips. You kissed his cheek and continued, “Let's try to cum together, ok? I'm pretty close too...” Speeding up your thrusts even more to chase your own release, Kisaki's eyes watered at the rough pounding that was now hitting his sweet spot. Tears fell not long after as you instructed, “Look at yourself, love. I want to watch as I make you cum. Look at your pretty face while you cum for me~ ”

He reluctantly obeyed, too lost in pleasure to really protest. More whispered praises and compliments onto his skin made it a little easier to watch as his face contorted in pleasure, your hand working his cock again until he painted the mirror with his sticky cum, tears rolling down all the while. The sound of his lovely cries pushed you over the edge too, filling his ass with your seed while your vision blacked out for a second

“Mm...good boy, Tetta...you look so damn pretty when you cum.” You sighed, hugging him impossibly close while you both caught your breath and simply enjoyed the comfort of each other's bodies. After eventually pulling out, you dragged Kisaki into the bed with you for some post sex cuddles. Gently brushing his newly messed up hair out of his face and planting a soft kiss on his lips. The two of you relaxed and held each other until you eventually dozed off, hands tangled together lovingly during your nap

Tagging: @steadybreadbluebird @6kabuki

#my writing #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #tokyo rev smut #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo rev x reader #tetta kisaki #kisaki x reader #kisaki smut #sub kisaki #male reader #dom reader #top reader #oneshot

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erospandemos · 1 year ago

Text

Boyfriend Tutorial

Sieun x Male Reader

Length: 3.2k

Sieun has to teach you how to be her boyfriend.

You wake up thanks to your phone ringtone, blasting the default bell jingle in your right ear, with a humid pool in your notebook and a huge pain in your back. Certainly falling asleep at your desk wasn’t a good sleep position for your spine, and not a comfortable one either, but literature was so powerful, it knocked you out in less than thirty minutes. That said, behind that loud ringtone, you were already sensing an upcoming pain in the ass.

Your phone was almost demanding to be answered, it was as if the notes were screaming in your face. You take a deep breath and pick your phone up to see the person who was calling: “Puppy”. Now, you would’ve never saved anyone with such a name on your contacts but you were forced into it, by the same person that was calling you now, your girlfriend.

Once you slid the green button across the screen, her filtered voice came blasting at full volume.

“Good morning sleepyhead! I bet you had the most profound, warm, dream-inducing, fairy-like sleep ever, right? Must have been so heavenly!” You could already tell it wasn’t a “good” morning for her and it wasn’t supposed to be one for you either. Her voice was already cracking your speaker, she must have been fuming mad.

“Good morning, Sieun…” you said softly, testing the ground.

“Wh—first of all, Sieun? We’ve already discussed this before, baby, say it.”

“Honey.”

“Well done. Second, good morning? Babe, it’s 2 pm!”

“Well, you said it first and I—”

“It was sarcasm, you idiot. Can’t you even tell?” she complained. The large sigh behind the speaker gives you a moment to rest then Sieun starts again. “Gosh, I don’t know how I’m the girlfriend of such an airhead… Anyways, listen here mister.”

You lean back into the chair and look to the ceiling, calling the help of the gods, the angels, the deities above but you know nobody could rescue you now. She said the phrase, Sieun’s mom mode was activated and you could not escape.

“Not only I didn’t receive a good night text, which we have agreed on, not only I didn’t receive a good morning text, but you didn’t say anything to me all day! Wh-what am I? I’m your girlfriend, not a random friend you talk to only when you feel like it.”

“Sieun—honey, I…”

“Go ahead, give me your excuses. Like you always do,” Sieun scoffs. You don’t even dare to sigh, if she heard it, she’d go on another rant about you not caring enough or whatever she had in mind—you didn’t know. Next time you should ask your friend to code you a bot to send her texts or remind you to do it, because at this rate, it was only a matter of time until she’d kill you.

“Nothing, honey, I’m sorry.”

“Well, you’re unforgiven. You better make up for it, alright?”

“Okay, tomorrow I’ll—”

“Not tomorrow! Right now. We’re going on a date. We’ve been a couple for two months and you’ve only taken me on one date when you confessed. I’m tired of waiting, you’re taking me on one right now. Think of a place while you come to my dorm.” When she was done talking, Sieun closed the call without giving you time to say anything else.

You go back to your normal sitting posture to think. Sure, you had to prepare for your test but that was in a week and even if it was a lot of material, it was a threat in the future while Sieun was a very close threat. Putting things on a scale of importance, your girlfriend seemed to be a bit further up. Fine, the date was already decided, you might as well go.

Being Sieun’s boyfriend was, in a lack of words, demanding. You’ve known her for a long time before getting together with her: you were her personal tutor. In the past, her character was definitely rougher and you had to take a long time before she trusted you, but after that you got to see her sweet side. In a mix of hormones and surprise, you eventually asked her out and in a even more surprising twist, she liked you too.

Unfortunately, it was right at the start of your midterm so you couldn’t spend much time with her. Frustruation must have gotten to her too and she was more irritated than usual.

Anyways, you don’t ask yourself anymore questions as you drive the car away from your dorm and drive to your Sieun. While on the road, you looked around thinking of where to take her. She was a very energetic girl and bringing her to watch a movie or to a café would have been very stupid of you. Something like a bowling or an arcade was more fitting. Yeah, you should go to the arcade.

You arrive at her dorm in probably 10 minutes. You knock on the door of her room and another girl opens the door for you. You know her, she’s Sumin, Sieun’s roommate. She comes out of the room like the priest of the Oracle of Delphi, ready to give you one of her prophecies and it wasn’t going to be a good one.

She looks at you with a mixture of fear and worry but politely gives you a smile. “You got Sieun real upset, she’s been complaining all morning,” she says.

“Sorry about that,” you reply apologetically, rubbing the back of your head and bowing.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it,” she chuckles. “Anyways, she’s in her room, she’s still changing so you can wait in the living room. I’m gonna go buy some groceries.”

“Thank you, Sumin.”

“Good luck,” she says and runs down the stairs. Now it’s only you and Sieun.

“Honey, I’m here!” you yell at a random direction and Sieun yells back, “You can come in, I’m pretty much done!” You come into her room like a soldier on a battle field. There is stuff everywhere on the floor: clothes, make up, bags, magazines, and if you ever dared to step on one of them, it would be over for you.

Sieun was sitting in front of a mirror, touching up her lips. She raises an eyebrow, looking at you through the window, then continues to put on her red in a comfortable silence. You limit yourself to looking at her and thinking about what you’ll do later.

She was done. Sieun got up after clicking the lipstick and grabbed her bag.

She wore a beautiful white dress, simple in appearance but full of little decors up close, it narrows just a little under the chest, not to show too much of her curves but let completely uncovered her shoulders and collarbones, where your eyes went the most. Her pink wavy hair adorned her face perfectly, making her face look smaller and sharper.

The moment she got up, the air inside the room was pushed out, and a sudden void was left in your lungs as you couldn’t master up any coherent word. You stutter a bit, and turn around to shield yourself from a too strong beauty.

“Uhm… so, I was thinking of going—” you can barely start when Sieun interrupts you.

“Really? Is that what you’re going to say?” she scoffs. You turn around and see her rolling her eyes, folding her arms, and leaning back on one leg.

“Wh-what?”

“You’re really useless, aren’t you?” she starts. “You’re lucky I’m an understanding person, the other girls would have left you already, but you have a lot to learn.”

“What did I do wrong?” “Well, I made myself this pretty and you’re just going to ignore it?!” Her voice suddenly increases in pitch and in volume. “A good boyfriend has to give a lot of compliments, you know that? I have to teach you everything apparently.”

“It’s just that… I do think you’re very pretty but I didn’t know what to say. You were so beautiful, you made me speechless. You don’t know how much I want to kiss you right now,” you say honestly.

Sieun is flustered, her cheeks become as pink as hair and she starts to look for a place to hide, without finding one, she covers her face with her hair and storms out of the room. “You said you got a place already, right? Let’s go,” she declares with a mighty voice and then with another almost inaudible voice, she whispers to herself, “What an idiot. He could’ve kept it to himself…”

You can hear her from the other side of the room and sigh at her hypocrisy but whatever, she was cute.

After you told her what you planned and made sure she approved of everything, you went down the dorm and started walking, it was just ten minutes from the building. You start talking about college and the upcoming tests but most of all, you let her rant because she always a lot on her mind.

Things were too smoothly to be true and after five minutes Sieun stops walking. You took a couple of steps before realizing and turn around.

“So are you not gonna do it?” she scoffs.

“What? What should I do?” you ask with confusion.

Sieun stands there with her fist rolled and her lips curled in an annoyed frown. She doesn’t look so much of a princess anymore. “Gosh, you’re so dense, what do I do with you…? Hold hand! You have to hold my hand!”

“But—”

“Look around, dear,” she says and sways her arms to show you, “All the couples are holding hands because that’s what couples do.” Sieun then stretches her arm out, holding her palm open to you. She flicks her chin, without watching you in the eyes, “So?”

You sigh and take her hand. “There.”

You start to walk again and this time Sieun's steps are wider, with more bounce in her shoulders. You chuckle to yourself, if she really wanted to hold hands, she could have just asked nicely. But that wasn’t really in character with her.

“You know,” you start and she turns to look at you. “Your hand is really soft. Your skin is so nice.”

“Is that so?” she almost whispers and turns the other way. “Well, your hand is all rough and shitty.”

“You really got a way with words, honey.” “Walk faster.”

On your way to the arcade, a small sandwich house catches your eye. It was one of those small shops that students usually buy their lunches from, and you know it was good from how worn the tables were. Sieun sees it too and mentions how she always wanted to try it. Come to think of it, you always bought her food as a prize for studying when you were her own tutor.

The arcade is just two from there, you’re already thinking of what games to play: maybe the racing games or the street fighter, it’s been a while since you last tried it.

Sieun stops again.

You almost slap your face but you can’t let her see too much of your annoyance because that was another trigger for her.

“Is anything bothering you, honey?” you ask carefully. This time you chose your words more wisely.

“Do you know what girls like?” Sieun asks you back. “Everyone should know it by now.”

“Bags? Make-up? Kai?”

“Other than that.” She rolls her eyes.

“I don’t know… Money? Everyone likes money.”

“It’s food, you dumbass! Girls like food. If you want a girl to like you, you must offer her food.”

“What does that have to do with— ah… you want me to buy you a sandwich?”

“I don’t want you to buy it. I’m expecting you to do it. Like, I have never seen a boyfriend not offer his girlfriend food. I shouldn’t even have to remind you, you should already know it…”

“Okay, let’s get you something good to eat,” you say and enter the shop while your girlfriend happily hops behind you. The shop was just like how you thought, warm, comfy, and traditional. The person working there was an old woman, with a beautiful smile, that Sieun immediately greeted with excitement even if she never saw her.

You order the food and your bad mood is completely gone while you watch Sieun gulp down the sandwich with her cheeks full.

“This is shoooo good!” she barely says. Even if she was a rich kid, nobody has ever taught her manners. No, actually, they did teach her manners but she just chose not to follow them.

“Do you want a bite?” she then asks you. Leaning on one of her hands she watches you sideways, brushing you with her gaze, “You’re blushing.”

“No, I’m not.”

“So do you wanna try?” You nod. Sieun smiles and offers it to you with both her hands over the table. You lean over and take a bite. It was delicious, the eggs and the mayonnaise worked perfectly together and the bread wasn’t too mushy either. But most of all, you two must have looked like one of those couples from the korean dramas Sieun always watches.

She giggles while you clean yourself.

“Damn this is great.”

“I know right! It's so good!” she replies. “Okay, now let me try a bite of yours.”

You give her the sandwich. Yours was way too messy to be fed to her like she did. You take some extra napkins and you swear you hear a “nom” coming from her.

“Whoa! Yours is even better! Why didn't I choose that one?”

“Wanna switch?”

“No, it’s fine.”

When you were done eating, you finally reached the arcade, while holding her hand of course. The flashing lights and no windows really contrasted with the sunny outside. The AC was turned on, because there was no other ventilation, and it was more chilly than outside. Sieun had goosebumps all over her arms and was stroking her skin to warm up.

You give her your flannel shirt. She looks at you with surprise at first then happily puts it on.

“Oh… looks like you’re finally learning,” she smugly says. Sieun is like a little kid in a candy shop. She runs around the machines being easily impressed by every little image she sees on the screens. All that with your big shirts around her, it makes you so proud and happy. It was the dream of every boy come true.

The first game you chose to play together was Street Fighter. You got a couple of tokens, inserted the first one, and chose your characters. You take Ryu because you just liked him more while Sieun takes Chun Li.

Sieun only knows to spam the buttons and slam the machine out of anger whenever she gets hit.

“Sieun, you’re supposed to get out of the way when I punch you, not stay still.”

“Well, I don’t know how to do that!”

“Just move your joystick.”

“It’s easy for you to say it,” she yells and starts pressing random buttons again. After a long beating, it only takes you one final hadouken to beat her, for the fourth time. Sieun stomps her feet like a little kid, she’s fuming.

“Don’t you know you’re supposed to let your girlfriend win?” she yells at you.

“Who says that?”

“Everyone knows that!” she says and leaves you alone to find another game, all while throwing you every insult she knew.

You let her cool down for a couple of minutes then went to search her. It took you a while but then you found her in front of the claw machine, the one with the stuffed animals, as she didn’t have any interest in football balls. She looks at you. You look at her.

“Let me guess, you’re going to say boyfriend always get stuffed animals?”

“Tell me, I’m wrong, I dare you.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Damn you— you already know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll get it for you, okay?” you say. You put in a token.

Flash forward, you already wasted 5 tokens and you still haven’t got it. Some machines are design to have weak-ass claws so you can’t ever get the thing up, some others have adjustable weights to keep a win-to-profit ratio but the thing that infuriated you the most was how close you were getting—it was just a couple of centimeters from the hole.

“Ooh! You almost got it that time!”

It took you another ten minutes of wasted tokens and swearing to finally get the giant plushie bear. Sieun celebrated so loudly she attracted the eyes of everyone in that room, but you didn’t care, you were too tired.

“Thank you, baby!” she says. “It’s so soft and it’s as big as me.”

“It looks like you.”

“You mean I’m fat?” Her eyes pierce through your heart and you suddenly felt a bullet into your chest.

“No! No no no no no. I mean it’s cute as you.”

“Be careful, mister,” Sieun comments and starts walking on her own. She stumbles upon an air hockey table and challenges you.

You sigh and go along with her. She just wants to have fun, air hockey is too easy anyways.

She destroyed you.

11 - 1. How did she even do that? She was way too fast, you couldn’t even see the pluck and she already scored. She didn’t even celebrate, she already knew she won from the first few seconds. You never saw anyone play as good as her, with impenetrable defense and flashy attack.

“Whatever,” you say, defeated.

“Not so cocky anymore huh?”

“It has gotten late, let’s go.” But Sieun doesn’t let you go. She holds your wrist.

“Are you not gonna say I did good? Boyfriends always—”

“Aish, shut up,” you shut her up and placed your hand on her head. Despite your disappointment, you handled her hair with a lot of gentleness. Feeling her grouchiness come back to her after her momentary confusion ceased, she opened her mouth to grumpily tell you to stop touching, but suddenly felt a very pleasant spark on the top of her head. Her words died a little in her mouth.

Sure enough, you were head patting Sieun, giving her little scratches behind her ears on her scalp. From the way you were doing it, Sieun wouldn’t be surprised if you owned a lot of cats.

She had never gotten petted before, but the feeling was so pleasant it felt like her head was being clouded up with warmth, barely able to focus on any thoughts under the overwhelmingly nice sensation. She felt herself lean into the touch, his grumpiness completely forgotten.

You looked at her amusement and chuckled, “You kinda look like a cute cat.”

Sieun’s face burned red when she realized she was totally enjoying it as if she was touch-deprived and desperate.

“You were really good, really good,” you say at the end and let her go.

“...Mh… thank you,” she whispers.

“So did I do good too?”

“Maybe.” Sieun storms out of the building, like always.

You laugh before running to reach her. Looks like the date was successful, maybe she’ll start treating you nicer next time. For now, she looked so cute, you didn’t care at all.

THE END

Written, 27 July 203 - 29 July 2023

#stayc #stayc fluff #fluff #kpop fluff #sieun #sieun fluff #stayc sieun

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mochamoth · 2 months ago

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samarina magical girl headcanons?

I have a few headcanons so far and the whole plot is kinda done! Uhh sorry this is a bit of a rant in advance! Feel free to just skip to the headcanons, the order doesn't matter too much (also mild spoilers for the canon gamee!!)

Backstory:

So this takes place sometime in the early 2000s, not modern but also not the canon 1940s time era. The backstories are pretty much the same except the Ninth Circle has an even sharper eye on Samarie. At some point Marina catches Samarie stalking her and gives her a talking to. But, after several apologies and begging from Samarie, Marina decided to get to know her a lil better. They slowly become friends overtime until some plot stuff happens and they die. I don't have a solid idea yet but I was thinking what if the Ninth Circle was more of a lab than a "school". Still a cult but y'know the vibes are a bit different. They catch the two running away and threaten to shoot Marina if she doesn't turn Samarie back in. Marina refuses, they shoot, Samarie takes the shot for her but unfortunately they just shoot Marina anyways afterwards.

Somewhat luckily Samarie was close enough with the Gods to make some sorta deal with Rher specifically (for arguments sake let's pretend in this au Rher is still semi close with humans). Marina and her would be allowed to live and be resurrected, in exchange for.. Well idk yet. I was thinking something to do with Moonscorching. Maybe every night they turn, or every few days, full moon, you know something like that.

So they're brought back to life, but both have MUCH stronger magic. Not only that but Samarie doesn't feel as sick as she used to be. The two later on realize they're stereotypical ✨️magical girls✨️ and fight against "villains" ig. The villains would be actual enemies from the games. Uhh I might add other characters to this au later on, but for now it's just my own little corny ship indulgent au so yeah!

(Sorry for any grammar errors I am tired lol)

Actual Headcanons:

Samarie uses a Star themed staff while Marina uses a Moon themed staff. I just thought it fit their souls aesthetic wise!

Samarie has extremely powerful magic, but is a terrible fighter. She's clumsy, messy, and a nervous wreck. Marina is a bit weaker magic-wise, but is wayy better in combat. She's more confident, focused, and skilled.

I think it'd be funny as shit to make Black Kalev their little sidekick.

They're constantly saving eachother. Usually it's Marina saving Samarie, but if Marina is in danger Samarie fucking kicks ass. She's still a crazy girl after all.

They have more stereotypical sparkly magic cuz.. Well magical girl. But they can still use other canon spells. It's just less convenient.

Their staffs will transform when they do. When they're not in their combat fits the staffs both turn into crystals. Both wear them around their necks like necklaces.

They can't use the gifted magic without the staffs. Basically they're witches in a way.

They do flirt on the battlefield cuz that's romantic imo. It's more Marina flirting and Samarie being a gay mess but that still counts!

In this au they're not dating (yet). Samarie obviously has a massive crush (or obsession) with Marina, and again after becoming friends Marina develops a crush back on her.

This has nothing, and I mean NOTHING to do with the au, Samarie has autism. I didn't know where else I'd share that hc so taking my chance rn.

Samarie still isn't used to the outfit change. Especially Marina's outfit (she is a lesbian disaster).

They rest and cuddle together after long battles. It'd be cute okay?

I might add more later (in which case I will post), and yes this is out of character. Sorry abt that. Uhh also I've never seen a magical girl anime. Like ever! I want to. I really wanna watch a few, just haven't gotten around to it.

#au #magical girl au #headcanons #samarina #samarie #marina domek #samarie f&h #f&h samarie #marina f&h #f&h marina #toxic yuri #ranting

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ebonysplendor · 5 months ago

Text

TOUCHSTARVED (Demo) 💔🫴

TL;DR: People are always saying "Touch grass" but even that might be dangerous in this scenario. If you thought Mike Tyson's hands were lethal, wait until you find out how our hands work.

Game Link: https://redspringstudio.itch.io/touchstarved

Notable features: Self-Insert, Multiple LIs, DnD vibe, MC backstory selection, Multiple endings/routes, Choice-Heavy Spiciness: 3.5/5 -- Nothing too explicit and no sex scenes or anything like that, but it does get pretty suggestive and there's some flirty jokes and comments here and there, especially with one particular LI LI(s) Red Flags: ...I mean, aside from one of them being a suspiciously smooth talker and the other essentially implying that they'd corrupt us, the biggest red flag is one of them having the cleanest pickpocket skill in history

Wanna know more? Meh, there's not an age limit, but the game pages does say it's for older audiences so, me personally, ... I'd say at least sixteen, but the older, the better. Anyways, let's get into it!

Okay, I'm sorry, but I have been coming across some damned gems lately!

Once again, this was one of the visual novels I downloaded forever ago, and what the heeeeeell, this was so good! Like, no, it was REALLY damned good. I'm not going to get into my ranting and raving like I tend to do because then the intro will get all long, but just know that, once again, I am geeked. Like, why have these game developers been going in so hard lately?!

I honestly have so much more to say, but I really want to get to the summary and the review portion, so I'm going to half-ass this intro and leave it here. That being said, this is NOT a yandere visual novel; however, it is a dark romance visual novel, so, it's still not the super teeth-rotting, cutesy, fluffy stuff.

Anyways, I'm going to tell you as much about the game as possible without ruining the game itself (like usual). Be mindful that, because it's a demo, there's not really an "end" nor is it even leading up to the end. The best way that I can qualify the demo is deadass...a demo. Like, it's a literal introduction and acts as a showcase to the rest of the game. More accurately, it flows exactly like how you'd think the prologue to a story would, "Chapter 0", honestly speaking.

Anyways, I'm done yapping; let's summarize. Just a heads up, though, it's gonna be a little lengthy, so...get comfy. All right, now let's get into it.

So boom.

In the spirit of keeping things as brief as possible: We're cursed, and that curse flows throughout our hands, front and back; it is for this reason that we keep them completely bandaged to ensure our own safety (kinda) and for everyone else's sanity. We believe that we can find a cure in this city called "Eridia", which is known to be this city of vast knowledge, and within this city of vast knowledge is this place called "Senobium". Senobium is where we're hoping our answers lie.

Lmao, I know that's a hell of an opener, but that's quite literally what's going on. We have been cursed since the start of forever, and we're essentially tired of feeling no sense of belonging anywhere, so we're trying to fix that; however, shit goes very left, very fast.

As we're on the way to this oh so great city of knowledge, we get hit with this ominous fog, and everyone who's travelling with us immediately knows: this is not good. No sooner than later, we're pretty certain that we hear someone getting killed nearby and the carriage that we were in is suddenly flipped over and blood gets shed very quickly. As expected, and for plot purposes, when the carriage got flipped over, our ankle took some extra damage which makes running a very unlikely option. Because of this, this terrifyingly dangerous creature wastes no time approaching us. Wanna see what it looks like?

That, my friends, is what is referred to as a "soulless", and it can rip you to literal shreds within seconds.

For whatever reason, this thing darts past us and disappears into the mist, but we don't ask questions; we just bolt behind the carriage for cover, and we're thankful that there is still someone alive after the attack. It would be much more comforting, though, if the guy wasn't praying, because that meant either one of two things:

We were very much so fucked, and he was trying to put in a good word for himself real quick before he potentially met his maker

or 2. We are very much so fucked, and the only thing that is applicable in this scenario is to pray and hope it disappears

but either way, we are very much so fucked.

That being said, we simply can't accept that. We don't pray, because we don't have the time. We've literally come too far to get taken out right outside the very city that holds our salvation, and that's all the reminder that we need when we see those city lights through the haze.

That reminder doesn't last long, though, because remember that soulless that vanished? Well, it came back, and the guy that was praying essentially brushed up against our hand, trying to get us to dip out with him because, duh, situation kind've popping off. Now, you remember that curse I mentioned? Well, our bandages kind've tore off during all of this ruckus, and all it takes is the slightest touch to make a person go from this

to this.

Yeah, so...not good.

Anyways, the situation essentially keeps escalating until we're one hit point away from death...but it never happens, because the next time we open our eyes, we see him.

Maybe we are dead, because hello~! Lookin' like an ethereal being in all of that white and attractive features! Like, gyatt DAMN. That is one fine ass angel!

Honestly, there are a lot of guys, and a lot of swooning, and a lot of introductions, so I'm going to kind've rush through those parts, especially since I don't want to ruin too much.

So, to get back on topic, essentially what goes down is that he -- his name is Kuras, by the way -- found us pretty much dead where the attack went down and brought us into the city to treat us. Now, this isn't because he's a hero or anything, but because he's a doctor and helping and healing is quite literally his entire thing, and damn, did he heal the hell out of us...suspiciously so.

Kuras tells us that, in Eridia, knowledge and secrets are what really fuels the area because it's so valuable. That being said, he can't get into exactly how he healed us so damn near perfectly. That also being said, he pretty much implies that the Senobium isn't all that's cracked up to be and that we aren't likely to find what we need there. Now although, we aren't fully believing of this due to desperation, he does point us in the direction of someone else. Some guy named Leander that we can find in some place called "The Wet Wick".

We follow Kuras' directions...but who the hell is--

--LEANDEEEEEEER~! HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! ...Yeeeeah, this is the one I'm gonna romance first lol. Kuras is gonna have to chill for a second.

Anyways, we're here with Leander, and what happens here is...he is so obviously a playboy, but the man is smooth as shit. I mean, damn, the man gave us flowers as soon as he laid eyes on us and was talking about some "New here? I'm certain I would've remembered a face as lovely as yours". A classic playboy line, a fuckboy move, possibly, and I always manage to gravitate towards/pick them in these damn multi-LIs stories. Back on topic though, we ask Leander about the Senobium, and, much like with Kuras, he tells us that it's not only a taboo topic, but that the place is bad news.

That being said though, he's pretty confident that he's able to find an alternative to our ailment, but that we'd have to be willing to trust him a bit, which is a tall order considering the backstory we may have chosen. We bite the bullet though, because we discovered earlier that he was a pretty damn good mage, and we're really desperate. We give into his confidence...and it actually panned out well. So well, in fact, this man, once again, takes the opportunity to spit game and puts the gold in our hands next to the gold on his coat and be like "Look, we match". That man is smoother than damned butter, and I'm down bad.

Anyways, he gets us a room to sleep in for the night, and tells us to go explore, but be careful. So we do, and we run into this guy.

Yeah, so, remember that room that Leander got for us? This guy, monster, thing just swiped the key. Lol here we go...

The thing is, we could easily get it back, but something feels...off...about him. So, we play along with his game for a bit before we're just like "A'ight, can I just get my damn key?" but he kind've avoids the topic and, of course, our desire to reach the Senobium comes up. As expected at this point, he's flatly like "It's overrated" and to simply forget about it. Well, damn...

The encounter goes for a bit more before Vere -- we finally got his name after someone called him out for causing trouble -- leaves with the someone who called after him. Despite all that we've heard about the Senobium, we can't help but see it up close and in person to at least make the journey and trials and suffering worth it.

And we do, we make it there, and we see this figure there.

But when someone calls after us for gawking at the building, the figure disappears as quickly as we saw it. Aside from this though, a feeling of hopeless kind've takes hold and we're just...it's just like damn at this point, ya know? But then something kind've weird happens.

This red-eyed woman, who is clearly supposed to be dead as apparent from this gaping hole that she showed us on her body -- no, you don't get it. It was a literal hole that you could see through -- spoke of this seaspring that could cure, quite literally, anything. Not having much faith in the Senobium anymore, but still desperate for a cure, we follow the woman and receive directions to this mysterious seaspring and are told about some gang leader named Ais.

We get there, and we come to the conclusion that someone probably lives here. We call out, there's no answer...you already know where this is going.

BUT I DID NOT EXPECT THIS MAN TO BE THIS DAMN FINE. AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Okay, okay, okay, okay, so I'm going to romance Leander first, DEFINITELY this daddy second, and Kuras is gonna be my solid third. Okay, moving on...

He -- this is Ais, by the way -- pops up and scares the shit out of us. Actually, it wasn't him that scared us, it's his loyal pack of red-eyed soulless that scares the shit out of us, and for obvious reasons. Anyways, for the sake of trying to keep this from being longer than it already is, he's actually a pretty chill dude. Once again, he is also anti-Senobium, but he is straightforward in that, "Yes, that seaspring will literally clear up whatever you've got going on, but boy, is it going to drive you batshit crazy". Well, not batshit, but it makes you a part of this thing called a "groupmind"; that explained the red-eyes. Ais described it as "one big happy family in your head". Oh...okay, so...not a good idea. Guess we weren't as desperate as we thought. He gets one of his trained soulless to take us back towards the city.

After everything that had went down today, we decided that we should officially call it a night. On our way to the room Leander funded for us, we run into some...complications.

Ah, yes. Why would we have been able to just walk across the city and to our room? That would've been too easy. Any chance that this one is tamed, too, and Ais is just messing with us again?

Oh...oh wait...this one doesn't have the red eyes. ...Yeah, we bolt. What makes this whole situation worse though? As fast as we are running, this soulless is keeping up pretty damn easily. Also, did I say that this was the worst of it? It's not, it gets so much worse actually. Tell me why, in our panic, we literally ran ourselves into a dead end. Beautiful. What are the odds we'll survive this thing a second time around?

Pretty damn high apparently. Bless this person because we were about to get one-hit'ed!

They help us up and...wait...didn't we...?

Oh yeeeeeeah! This was the person from the Senobium! ...Damn, they're short lmao. That being said, we were all:

"Yo, you were at the Senobium!"

And they were all:

"So what if I was?"

Mmm...a feisty lil stallion. Big sass. I would be, too, if I was that short. Like, damn, they are not as tall as the baes. Kuras could take their ass out with one stomp if he really wanted to.

Anyways, they scold us about being alone at night and how it's not safe and all that. We follow them for a bit, and granted, we saw that they meant business, but it's still weird that if it's so dangerous, why were they travelling alone and why did they stop to help us?

"There was a bounty on that Soulless; you were just in the way. Not killing you isn't the same as helping you." Wha--?

Well, fuck you, too then! You get romanced last, Shorty McDouche.

We essentially get spicy back, and now, they're all blushy and shit as they start walking us back to our room. Yeah, take that shit, Mhin -- their name is Mhin, by the by -- but we don't have to deal with their sass for much longer because guess who comes along?!

IT'S BAAAAAAAE!!!! .....gyatt DAYUM Mhin is short. Then again, they could be taller than or the same height as us, but we did mention that everyone was significantly taller while Mhin was "Huh...they're shorter than I thought".

Anyways, they both escort us back to the Wet Wick, and wouldn't you know it?

Not only are all the baes here, but they all apparently know each other! All those different personalities hanging out together? Well, isn't that a wild concept. Even still, since they're all here...

Maybe we can get to know one of them a little better...

END OF DEMO LOL. Well...actually there's more after this, but of course, it depends on who you go to talk to. This is definitely long enough, though, lol; you'll have to play the game yourself to find out more, not to mention all the details I left out.

Whoo, FINALLY. The summary was long, but that was because the demo was long, and it had a lot going on. I swear I excluded so much detail, you have no idea, but guys...

When I tell you that this game was so good.

FRIENDS. When I tell you. That this game. Was so. Good.

I don't think I can emphasize that enough, and I'm not even going to lie to you, at first, I was not feeling it. It's crazy to say that now, but I swear, I was not feeling this game at first, because it was feeling real Dungeons and Dragons, and as much I want to get into that...I can't. It just never vibes with me, and it's like I can't ever effectively get into it. That being said, it was rough at first, but then--!!

Listen. The story started storying, and the baes were baeing, and I was like, there is a visual novel to be played here. I knew it was a demo when I had started it, but when I tell you that I was legitimately upset when that "Thanks for playing!" message came up? DISTRAUGHT.

Anyways, my take on the game (as if it wasn't clear enough): it was great. Fantastic, even. It's just really odd how it flows like a fantasy story book but a DnD map at the same time, and yet they made it work so beautifully. The art style; those of you that have been rocking with me know how I feel about art style. Absolutely enthralled with the art. It looks straight out of one of those DnD campaign or character books. The baes! Don't get me wrong, all of them aren't my cup of tea, but the baes that I'm feening for?! Even the ones that I'm not feening for, honestly. They are sooooo handsome. Like, I want them al-- well, I want like 3 of them, to be best friends with 1 of them, and to throw hands with the other one lol. I mean, like, they're a'ight; I'm gonna have to get to know them because they a lil' too slick at the mouth lmao, but we all know that's probably going to be the sweetest of the bunch.

But yeah, this game is legit. Again, absolutely going to spend money on this one, if that's what the full version will entail. Now, just to add a bit of degeneracy...

IF THE DEVS MAKE THIS INTO AN 18+ GAME WITH A SPICY SCENE. MY SOUL. WILL BE THEIRS.

Okay, okay, okay, anyways, but like, the game really does have mad potential. Like, look at this:

You can pick your back story, and look at what it looks like when you pick your LI!

There are routes! You pick your LI by route! Can you imagine how huge this game is going to be if there are routes for each character and choices within those routes? I am literally so excited! Run me the full release, dev(s)!

Anywho, this post is waaaaaay long, and I could ramble way more about this game, but I shall not. If you'd like to give this game a playthrough yourself -- and I'm telling you that you need to -- I'll put a link to it right here for ya. If you'd also like, you can give the dev(s) that ever desperate "Please. I need more. This game is so good. I will literally sell you my lung and both of my kneecaps. I beg" and let them know what it is! Donations are also super helpful should you be in a position and mindset to do so!

All righty, that's finally all from me! Sorry about the length on this one, but there was so much that needed to be said, and I could honestly say more. For the sake of length though, I'll leave you with this:

Play this game, but also, please remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

TOUCHSTARVED (Demo)

#dark romance #visual novel #vn review #visual novel review #dark romance visual novel #dark romance visual novel review #touchstarved game #touchstarved vn #touchstarved visual novel #touchstarved leander #touchstarved mhin #touchstarved kuras #touchstarved ais #touchstarved vere #touchstarved vn review #touchstarved visual novel review

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luvvixu · 5 months ago

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Let gooo!

But seriously I’m only one here who doesn’t feel a ton sorry for Satoru? I know satoru getting assaulted by Yukie is wrong and there no excuse for that.

But kind of don’t totally blame her. I mean Satoru treated y/n shit for 5 years straight and all of a sudden one drunken night spent together she get pregnant and he all of sudden started to treat her well and just gave her some human decency and wanted to work on and fix his marriage. 5 years of marriage of hating her and being a ass to her when she didn’t nothing wrong to him and didn’t want this marriage either. Now she get pregnant and gave a preterm birth to their son because he was still mad about her and complaining about her too! When she treat him so well even tho he was ass to her. She still cook for him, getting him his favourite treats, running his bath for him meanwhile he still treats her badly and doesn’t feel guilty about it until when a baby is involved and their both nearly lose their lives. Now he all guilty about how he treats her and cheating on her.

He was all like I’m suffering too! Like bitch how exactly? She didn’t abuse you or cheat on you, insults you or didn’t avoid your existence etc. All you had was You don’t know how much pressure I take just because of that Fucking marriage and everyday that I woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups, I’m getting so, so tired and I just want to….

And that it nothing about y/n behaviour or how she treats him. He just seems to hate her because he was forced to get married despite she didn’t want this either. So he taking all of hatred on her because he can.

So I can’t really blame Yukie here because imagine how your lover who seems to hate his wife with every fibre and inch of his body that he was forced to marry.All a sudden decided to stop hating her and want to fix their marriage?? Because of one night stand and she gets pregnant??? Now you want to gave this marriage a shot because a baby is involved now??? 5 years of hatred and resentment is suppose gone now? And you’re telling the woman who you didn’t want to let go of. Once she found out you’re married man because you told her that you really love her and not your wife. You love her so much that a year ago you promised to her that you would leave your wife for her and in the present you were still seeing her even when you find out that your wife was pregnant with your baby. You were devoted yourself to her just 2 weeks ago. Only just when you think your wife and baby are going to die. You want to suddenly stop seeing her and fix your marriage just like that.

Sorry for the long rambling rant😖😭

I'M CRYING THIS IS THE BEST SUMMARY OF A FANFICTION OVER 17K WORDS LOL

thanks for this anon, this is actually my cue to drop some explanations and I ACTUALLY LOVE READING YOUR RANTS LIKE IF I WASN'T THE AUTHOR, I WOULD DO THIS TOO!!

anyway, let's get serious about this. i've read a lot of these things about how satoru should not end up with the reader and how he deserves bad things for doing this or that. i've also seen a lot of comments about satoru suddenly changing.

i think it's time for me to drop some hints, facts, and a lil spoiler about mind over matter. take note, this is long so pls bare w/ me.

background facts about mind over matter

i created this ff because i really love the song entitled mind over matter by young the giants and got really inspired by its meaning. if you listen to the song, you'll get a hint because that song literally describes the trope between satoru and the reader, at least.

this story has a lot of psychological and philosophical theories (i think this is a perk of being a psychology student?? lol) and ideologies because this is the life we lived in. although this story is purely made by the fragments of imagination, there's still a chance that this occurs in real life. and i only think rational and logical.

the end

OKAY IMMA START WITH THIS CUZ A LOT OF Y'ALL WANTED THE READER AND SATORU WOULD NOT END UP TOGETHER

ahem, so i know most of y'all are angry at our boy and i understand that. however, i hope you are not forgetting that this is an x reader sooo...

nah im just kidding! there are still some x readers where the ships doesn't end up together—i've actually done this once and it's on the 'the end', a gojo satoru angst oneshot. but does that mean im going to use that ending on this mind over matter? we'll see.

i actually already plotted the ending and after see y'all's comments, i don't think you all are going to like it, i'm afraid. but nevertheless, i will still try my best to make the best of it. so i hope you won't get angry nor disappointed in me :((

and lastly, i will based the ending on how the reader and satoru perceived the tragedy happened in chapter 5. do you get the hint???

satoru's hate trail

satoru was getting a lot of hate because he did some nasty things to the reader like cheat, emotionally abuse, neglect, argue, ect. i would be angry too because i do not tolerate these kind of acts. but if we become a person who has holistic perspective (meaning in my own words: by being objective, we look on both sides before making a judgement), no matter how much we hate this person, we had to see his side. which in this case, we still hadn't see his story completely.

here's a hint about satoru's side: think of yourself as someone who literally carries the safety of the world and is in constant pressure to the point of you developing a fear of failing and losing. you are in a state of big actions comes into a bigger responsibility. what would you feel? what would you do to escape this bullshit reality?

satoru got manifested a maladaptive coping mechanism. this is where people use strategies to manage stress, anxiety, or difficult emotions that may provide short-term relief but ultimately worsen the situation or create additional problems. in this case, satoru was in a constant pressure and stress because of expectation as being the strongest, plus, the things happened during his childhood till adolescence adds fuel to the fire. then this marriage came and satoru loses his mind because he thought someone was controlling him, which we all know, is not.

he never meant to hurt the reader or do those things. that was only the results of his maladaptive coping mechanism. some of the scenarios of this mechanism involves distraction, avoidance, and overcommitment could be observed. he does the things he doesn't wanted to do just to ignore what is happening. BUT that doesn't mean WE are going to let this or HIM slide, yeah?

personally, i don't hate satoru that much in this story even if let's just say im not the author. i know he was such a bad guy and even if he change, there's still a history left behind. but since i'm someone who trained themselves to have a deep understanding and patience, especially that i'm a psychology student, i know satoru would eventually get what he deserve both in good and bad way.

the marriage

now let's talk about marriage, let's see what satoru and reader feel about it:

on the reader, she doesn't want it because it deprives her from chosing what she really wants for herself, like finding someone to marry on your own. but growing up in a clan where your moves are limited and no matter how shitty they were, you couldn't tear yourself away from them. the readers are lacking of validation and support from their own blood—that explains why she still in for this marriage because she still hasn't realize that she can receive what she is searching aside from her family.

on satoru, he doesn't want it too. he feels like this is suffocating him even though the reader did not show any interest on hurting him. but little did y'all know, satoru was looking for someone to blame for all of the things that happened to him. and guess what? he blames it on the closest involved, which are you and the higher-ups. this behavior is called scapegoating. this involves unfairly pointing blame or responsibility to an innocent individual, often to deflect attention from the true source of the problem or to avoid personal accountability.

but what makes the marriage stay intact for over 5 years? easy, they both ran away from addressing the real issue.

i know i've mentioned in one of the chapters that the marriage was on the verge of getting divorced. but the reason for that is because despite all of their personal challenges that greatly affects the marriage, they somehow found themselves into the comfort of their circle. meaning, they still hold on to the very last string of hope that everything could still be fine.

the reader's resiliency

the reader could've divorce satoru long long ago. but what stops her from doing so? simple, her family and empathy for satoru.

it was actually supposed to be sympathy for satoru. but there is a great difference between sympathy and empathy. let's break it down for a lil time. sympathy is where you're acknowledging another person's emotional hardships and providing comfort and assurance. while empathy is you are deeply understanding and sharing another person's feelings and experiences.

here's an example. the scenario is that your friend loses their pet: sympathy, "i'm so sorry for your loss. losing a pet must be really hard." and then empathy, "i understand how hard it is to lose a pet. i know the pain you're going through. let me know how can i support you."

see the difference? good.

ok, enough with the philosophy lesson. this may sound idk, confusing? but this is what the reader feels about satoru as of chapter 5, she had lost her faith in him as her husband but she trusted him a lot as her fellow sorcerer. she understands what he has been going through, and it's a little incomparable to her situation. the reader's back only carries her family, while satoru carries the whole world.

that was the leading reason why despite all of those things that happened, she possesses a deep understanding, patience, and support to the man even if it would destroy her in the process.

our reader is a hero, she's a tough woman. so we cannot just say that she should leave the guy and for another man when she's still not ready to let go of her principles inside this marriage. but of course, we would see what would happen next on the following chapters.

the mistress

i intended to make yukie michiga as an admirable woman. i've actually never seen a fanfiction yet where the third party is not aware that their partner was taken. so maybe, that's why i made her that.

but love blinded us all. we are the victims of love. an own witness of a broken down affair.

i actually love the character i made for yukie michiga. she was a fruit of a harsh reality that no matter how well you are as a person, there's still other factors that would destroyed you and forces you to cross the path you don't plan to.

yukie was against the idea of satoru cheating on you with her. she really tried her best to stop the affair but the love and selfishness wins.

satoru has lots of hook-ups and one night stands from before. but he decided to settle to yukie because he couldn't get enough. that's why her love grow and grow until it overflowed, and now, the self she was before has drowned and the corpse of her has comes to life.

kazuki, the baby

i don't have anything to say on our little sunshine who's unaware of his surroundings but he is the ray of hope for the reader and satoru.

satoru doesn't actually hate the baby even if he shown signs of not wanting the child but he really doesn't hate it. well in fact, he thinks that despite the baby is the fruit of two drunk and impulsive action, kazuki was innocent.

but the reader is innocent too? so why would satoru hate her? we'll never know.

anyway, kazuki be kazuki. he's a cute of mixture of the reader and satoru. since he's a preterm, i cannot say much yet on his appearance. but y'all are too lucky cuz imma say; his hair comes from you, his eyes are from satoru ofc, his complexity hmm maybe satoru? but yeahhh, so sorry i sucked at genes but y'all can think what does kazuki looked like as long as it's adorable cuz he's adorable!

nanami?!

UMMM I WAS A LIL SHOOK WHEN SOME OF Y'ALL MENTIONED THAT THE READER SHOULD'VE ENDED WITH NANAMI INSTEAD OF SATORU

and i must say, i was really taken a back cuz i never thought of that. should i do that? wouldn't it be a nanami x reader instead of gojo x reader?

anw, im so sorry to break it all to y'all, i don't plan doing that nor taking it into a consideration. why? because i have a better plan and i hope y'all gonna favor it.

here's a clue: i really admire how i paint the reader as the most resilient—yeah, that will continue to live. k bye that's it.

nanami was just a good friend for both the reader and satoru. he's good in his own and he's really helpful to those he held dearly, and that would stay that way.

sudden change

we're now down to final discussion for this post. i have a surprise at the end so better read this one out.

saw again a lot of comments, saying why does this satoru dude suddenly change after the reader is on the verge of dying...and other stuffs like that

but lemme asked you, can you handle a guilt and conscience when its other's life we're talking about?

in satoru's defense, this whole incident from the pregnancy complication serves as a biggest slap into his face, the coldest water ever drenched in his body, and the highest caffeine in his system—basically, his cue.

i don't remember saying that satoru doesn't really care for you anymore. he still have humanity towards you because deep inside him, he cares for you, but his exteriors tell otherwise. that's probably why ppl are confused and enraged about his instant care.

i think it's my fault for not clarifying it on the chapters so pls do forgive. but heyyy, at least now you know.

and i've yap a lot, y'all ready right for the surprise? good! cuz here it is....[click me, trust me]

SOOOOOOOO, YOU'VE COME TO THIS END??? 😭 i hope i managed to clear up your questions, but if not, i'm only one ask away so pls do not hesitate

#luvvixu #💌 — we just got a letter #🗣️ — yap-papi

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our-aro-experience · 2 months ago

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hey man I’m aroallo and repulsed by like any kind of dating relationship qpr partnership platonic or romantic I get a lot of shit for not wanting even a platonic partner and I’ve been forced into all sorts of partnerships platonic included pet names and stereotypical romantic gestures send me runnin for the hills nauseous there’s like a handful of nicknames im actually ok with being called I do fwb and people get really weird about me not just fucking and moving on like I shouldn’t be close with or nice to with my friends that I fuck I can’t hug them or just chill with them aftercare and compliments or praises and kissing or making out is always treated like it’s not allowed for me and it really pisses me off and makes me sad I really like being held and kissed after stuff and just in general and I wish it wasn’t treated like some special fancy thing you can only do with someone specific or important enough like I dont want to be in a qpr or plantonuc partnership or treat my fwb different or more special then my other friends I just want to kiss all my friends and be held and it not be treated as some weird sacred thing like bro I just like affection and attention and I care about my friends obviously but it’s not like that we’re not dating or platonicly together or exclusive or anything I’m not closer with them then any other friend or if I am it’s not because we kiss or fuck and bro why does kissing and cuddling have to be with someone you date or qpr or are closer best friends with or whatever and it’s all even worse because I’m a man everyone acts like I have to just fuck and move on and I can’t be held or taken care of or kissed I get made fun of for wanting that and they say I can’t just be down for fwb if I want that everyone says it’s like unmanly or whatever either that or I get treated like I’m robbing people of romance because I don’t want to date or do situationships or whatever people say I’m using people and I’m selfish for it and stuff and I get called abusive even though I’m always straight forward with everything! this is all stupid and it’s making me uncomfortable I don’t like all these rules bro and I’m so tired of being shit on by people who like talk about queerness being ok they’ll talk about feminism and accepting eachother and then pull shit like this to me because I’m a aroallo guy like dawg you promised me you wouldn’t do this it doesn’t help that I’m not like feminine and stuff so I don’t look like queer or anything I’m just some guy who doesn’t want to date and no one’s ever cool with it anyway sorry for the long ass rant bro I don’t really send stuff like this idk what I’m doing really sorry for the wall of text

all of your experiences here are valid, just so you know. unfortunately amatonormativity has been ingrained into society so much that most people don’t even realize “unconventional” relationships exist and are okay. hopefully society will progress in the future and become more accepting of arospecs/aspecs.

#aro #aromantic #arospec #aromantic pride #actually aromantic #aspec #queer #aromantic positivity #arospec positivity #aroallo #aromantic allosexual #alloaro #aromanticism #submission

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skyloftian-nutcase · 2 years ago

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“Have you ever wished you were dead?”

Legend abruptly stopped in mid motion as he was getting ready to sip some of his cider. He glanced at Warriors worriedly, a million thoughts blazing through his mind and choking in his throat before they could be spoken.

What ended up coming out was, "You've had way too much alcohol."

Warriors barked out a tired laugh and downed another sip just to seemingly spite his friend. He glanced at him from the side. "You didn't answer the question."

Slowly, Legend glanced away, getting his bearings. “…Yeah. Once or twice.”

Warriors hummed, his eyes unfocused again, staring off somewhere Legend couldn't reach. The travel nurse felt his stomach knot at the sight of it, and he put his drink down, growing nauseous.

"Hey," Legend piped up awkwardly and worriedly. "I... you... have you thought that?"

Warriors didn't speak. Legend waited. His friend stayed mute.

Growing more agitated, Legend pivoted so that he was facing his friend fully, one leg tucked under him while the other hung off the sofa where they were sitting.

"Look," Legend started, unable to keep the sharp edge out of his tone, unable to keep his own emotions under control at the turn this conversation was taking. "We've seen some shit, both of us. I'm not about to tell you how you should feel. I don't know what you've been through. But you'd better be damn sure I'll get on your sorry ass if you start thinking of different ways to die.

"I've had days where I wish I could just stop breathing. But you know what kept me going? Every damn shift in that blasted emergency department. Because as much shit as we see, we see why we do it, we see so many people dying but we see how precious their lives are too. Remember the fifteen family members for that one lady who died? Remember how many lives she touched? You... you remember that one guy, the one we all fought so damn hard to save and died anyway? You remember how he had no one, how we'd known him for all of a couple hours and it still hit us like he was our own? Don't you fucking dare for one one second think your life isn't important. I don't give a fuck if you think it doesn't matter, or you think you're worthless because you're fucking not."

Rising up from the couch, face flushed, he continued, "I don't care if your brain doesn't accept what I'm saying. I don't fucking care. Your perception of reality isn't mine, you got that? If you think you're worthless that doesn't mean the whole world does. It just means you need help. Because nobody should be thinking like that about themselves, okay? Like we all have dips and that's just life, but you should never want to die, you got that? If you're feeling that way you'd better fucking listen, because I'm going to--"

"Legend," Warriors interrupted quietly with a soft smile. "I'm not feeling that way right now."

Legend froze in mid tirade, mouth agape as he was about to continue ranting, and then he let out a shaky breath with a defeated, embarrassed, "Oh."

There was a long pause, and then Legend said, "Well, good. Thanks for scaring me, idiot."

Warriors laughed, reaching forward and grabbing Legend by the shirt and dragging him into a hug. Legend yelped and spluttered, but sighed in defeat and hugged his friend in return, melting into the embrace.

"You're right," Warriors said as he squeezed Legend even tighter. "No matter what our minds whisper in the dark, we shouldn't listen to it. There's too much at stake. Every one of us matters, and if our heads are ever in a space where we can't accept that, I also know there are others who care about me. I can live for them, if nothing else... until I can make myself a little better."

Easing up, he pushed Legend away just a hair so he could look him in the eye. "You know that you have so many who care about you too, right? It's not just everyone's life is precious except mine."

Legend rolled his eyes dramatically. "For the love of--I'm the one who just told you--"

"I'm not talking about what you said to me, Ledge. I'm talking about how you feel about yourself."

The travel nurse sobered and then sighed. "I know. I know others care about me. And I've seen what happens when people don't think that way, what happens to their loved ones who are left behind to pick up the pieces that you can never pick up. I never want to go through that."

His voice cracked and he snapped his mouth shut. Damn alcohol. He shouldn't have had so much. Pushing away, he rose and took a step from his friend to get some composure back. Then he let out a sad laugh. "Aren't we just a fucked up pair?"

Warriors chuckled at that, rising and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah, but that doesn't change how amazing we are. Naturally, I'm a little more amazing than you--"

"Like hell you are."

"I'm clearly the better nurse."

"The only thing you have in spades beyond me is your fat ego."

"Nonsense, your head's pretty inflated, too."

"Maybe so," Legend relented, the fight draining out of him. He glanced at Warriors, suddenly open and vulnerable. "You... you do know I love you, right?"

Warriors' smile faded, just a hair, just enough for the gentle surprise to take hold as his eyebrows rose slightly. Then it returned, soft and relieved and so, so warm. "Yeah. I know."

#I'm breaking my hiatus to post this because I feel like it's needed #whoever needs to read this please know that you are loved #and deserve love #and deserve to be taken care of #and deserve all the things everyone deserves <3 #Legend is a little aggressive in showing his care but he means well #lu in healthcare #lu warriors #lu legend #writing #*crawls back under my rock*

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highqueenofelfhame · 2 years ago

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rowaelin // 5.3k words // ciwyw mastlist // playlist // masterlist

It had been a frustrating day to begin with. After failing to sleep for more than a collective two hours the night before, Rowan had tried to carry on with his day like he would any other Sunday. The conversation with Aelin, and more importantly her response, pounding with every slap of his shoes against the treadmill. Not even a full leg-day workout could dispel the dreadful, anxious energy brewing at the forefront of his mind.

Lorcan had showed up at the house early in the afternoon and chewed his ass out for the red card. He was fully in Team Captain mode for the full lecture, barely letting Rowan get a word in edgewise. At some point he gave up on defending himself and let Lorcan get his rant out. Once he was finished, he’d flopped onto Rowan’s couch and gestured vaguely with his hands.

“Alright. Your turn. Talk about it.”

“I already told you I was sor–” He’d started, hands bracing his knees as he debated groveling on his knees for Lorcan to let up. It had been a long enough weekend and he couldn’t handle another half hour. Sure, he deserved being called a stupid, selfish bastard, but he was tired. There wasn’t much left for him to say other than he was sorry, and he’d already done that multiple times.

“I’m not talking about the match. The girl. Something’s bothering you, so talk. The other idiots aren’t here to give you shit about it.” The man had a point. Without everyone else there to make subtle digs, it was easier for him to nod his head and dive headfirst into the clusterfuck of a situation he was in with Aelin.

To his credit, Lorcan listened to every word until it was all laying before them like a jigsaw puzzle. The pieces were hard to put together because there were about a million of them, all tiny, and several of them were missing entirely. Rowan couldn’t find the corners and didn’t know which way was up or down. Lorcan listened anyway. The migraine that had been coming on for the last few hours hit in full force when Lorcan compared it all to a fucking onion.

“Give her space. Give her time. The shit with Lyria is a lot to unpack on its own. Add into it that you’ve found yourself in a similar, however different, situation with Aelin… it would be a lot for anyone. It’s an onion, mate. Shit has fucking layers to it.” Rowan had given him a flat look that caused Lorcan to raise his hands in front of his chest. “I’m just saying. Might also be a lesson to check the expirations on those rubbers before you use them, too. Twice in one lifetime? You are one unlucky bastard.”

“You’re not helping,” Rowan glowered, eyes narrowed into little slits. Even if it was good advice, it didn’t do him a lick of good at this point. So much for not getting any shit about this.

“What brand did you use? I need to avoid those fuckers like the plague.”

“Lorcan,” Rowan sighed exasperatedly, all ten fingers raking through his hair until it was a mess of tangles.

“Just give her the space she asked for, Ro. She told you what to do. So do it.”

“It’s hard to give her space when I just want to be with her all the time,” he finally admitted, slumping back against the sofa. The position did nothing to help the throbbing in his head, but he didn’t move.

“I really need to meet this woman if she has you, of all people, wound so tight you look like you’re about to explode,” Lorcan said with the shake of his head. “Do you think she’s worth all the trouble?”

Rowan didn’t have to think about it. The answer was a huge, resounding yes. She was worth fighting for. He said as much and Lorcan nodded, eyes focused on the empty fireplace.

“For what it’s worth… I’ve never seen you as happy as you are when you talk about her. Don’t get me wrong, until she cuts you a break and gives you a real chance, she’s on my shit-list. But she makes you happy. I’ve never seen you this way about a woman and I think… I think she pulls out the best parts of you.” Lorcan’s confession made Rowan’s chest feel a little tight. “Except for when she’s the reason you’re so pissed off you get carded.”

They had both shared a quiet laugh at that, then spent the rest of the evening sipping beer and watching the major sports channels for highlights of the other games that happened over the weekend.

Hours later, Rowan truly was about to explode. Sleep was already hard to find despite scouring every drawer and pocket in his brain. When his phone pinged, hope had swelled that it was Aelin. As much as he loved to see her smiling face lighting up his phone, it was not what he had in mind.

Rowan Whitethorn liked to think of himself as a man with self control and reason. Amongst his teammates he was known for being level-headed, someone that thought things through and didn’t jump the gun. To his core, he always had been those things– until he met Aelin Galathynius, and he was unraveling quicker than a dropped spool of thread.

You know, the one that rolled under the bed and there was no hope of getting it back unless you kept pulling on the string. The spool would re-emerge from the shadows once the thread was in a mess of a knot at your feet and there was absolutely no hope of getting it wrapped back around its little home neatly. In fact, you might even scrap the whole thing and throw it in the garbage because the reward didn’t outweigh the tedious task at hand.

Rowan felt like that unraveled spool of thread as he stared at his phone screen at two in the morning, the simple plastic phone case groaning under the pressure of his white-knuckled grip. The edges of his vision were hazy because he hadn’t blinked a single time since he saw the picture that Fenrys sent him.

Mala fucking help him, he was going to murder his teammate. A brutal, bloody murder. Rowan had never been so sure that he was going to end up in fucking jail.

Aelin was radiant– something that had been missing from her the last time he saw her. The woman in the picture was exactly the woman that had ripped his heart from his chest before he even knew what was happening. The more muted version he’d had over the weekend still held his throbbing, bleeding heart. But the woman beaming in the photo was the one who stole it in the first place.

Her hair was down, the golden waves cascading over her shoulders and out of frame. With rose-kissed cheeks and plump, sensual lips spread wide in one of the smiles she used to give him, she was devastating. A little tipsy from his afternoon with Lorcan, Rowan had to physically restrain himself from tracing the shape of her mouth with his fingers. Gods, when did he become such a sap?

The first photo was just her. A tiny cocktail straw was between her teeth, eyes closed from the force of her smile. Her eyelashes seemed to graze the top of her cheeks they were so long. Because of the angle of the photo, taken from a lower, upturned angle, one of the golden lightbulbs gave her a halo. It was fitting, because she was a fucking angel.

>> She’s even more beautiful in person.

Rowan knew that. He was well aware of how fucking beautiful she was. But why did Fenrys know that? Why was he discovering the truth of it at two in the godsdamn morning?

>> What the fuck?

<< I mean, if you’re not going to, she should get it from somewhere. You haven’t had sex in her bed yet, have you?

>> Fenrys I swear to the fucking gods if you touch her I’m not responsible for what happens to your face.

The picture that followed made him want to throw his phone across the room and hope it shattered into a million pieces he couldn’t put back together. Someone across the table had taken it, probably Connall if he had to guess. Aelin’s arm was around Fenrys’s neck and they were cheek to cheek with matching smiles. Mischief was wild in Fen’s eyes while Aelin just looked… happy.

And then he noticed, just at the edge of the picture, how low on her hip his godsdamn hand was and he thought he was going to lose his mind. Yep. He was definitely going to be arrested for homicide in a few hours. The mugshot would be in every newspaper in the country, across the world, and he didn’t care.

>> She’s just wearing minty lip balm. My face will be nothing but hydrated and tasty.

<< You motherfucker

>> Well… not yet 😉

And then Fenrys stopped replying.

The self-control and level-headedness he had once prided himself in was nowhere to be seen. He tried to pull on the thread of his sanity, to tell himself it didn’t matter, that all of this was fine. Yet every time he looked back at the screen, every muscle and tendon in his body was so taught it felt as though one movement would have them all in ribbons.

Rowan hadn’t ever had a relationship where he felt the need to protect as much as he did with Aelin. Maybe it was partially because of the baby, but a roaring silence filled his head at the thought of her with another man, least of all Fenrys fucking Moonbeam. If Fenrys respected any kind of friendship code, he wouldn’t even act like he was thinking about toeing that line.

It felt stupid. They were barely dating and only knew the tip of the iceberg with each other. Still, there was something so different with her. For the first time in almost a decade, he had let his guard down. There were no mile high cement walls around his heart with nowhere to grasp to climb up and over. He was just Rowan, an unopened book with unexplored pages begging to be read.

It was highly unlikely that he was the only person that found himself inexplicably drawn to her. She was sweeter and more intoxicating than any drug, than any brand of alcohol money could buy. Aelin Galathynius had the energy of someone that you just wanted to taste once, because once she was gone you wouldn’t experience anything like her ever again. Coming so close to losing her, Rowan was keenly aware of that fact, and he wasn’t sure how he would ever move on if they didn’t really give themselves the chance to explore it. They were opposite ends of two very strong magnets. It was impossible that she didn’t feel that, too.

Rowan Whitethorn didn’t open up to just anybody. He didn’t let people in. Aelin wasn’t just a fluke. He was absolutely sure of it.

The thoughts wouldn’t stop chattering through his brain. Words flashed behind his closed eyelids a thousand miles a minute, leaving nothing but explosions of stars and colors where he tried to rub them away. Every time he looked at his phone, the desire to get in his car and drive to Aelin’s grew stronger and stronger. It was becoming an itch that he couldn’t he couldn’t ignore, and once the sun finally started to peek in through his blinds, he was rolling out of bed and nearly running to shower and change clothes.

By the time eight rolled around, he had forced a small bowl of cereal down his throat and downed what was probably too many cups of coffee. By eight-fifteen, Rowan was in his car and speeding toward the highway to Varese with something that belonged to Aelin sitting in his front seat.

~*~

Rowan felt… Well, he felt insane.

Not for the first time, he was asking himself what the fuck he was doing as he knocked on the door to Aelin’s apartment. At several red lights through the city, he debated going home. Halfway up the staircase, he had paused and gone down three steps, only to turn around and march right back up and to her door. The echoing of his fist on the wood had him hesitating once again, wondering if he should just get in his car and go home. He had no clue what he was doing here, besides just needing to see her and make sure that both she and the baby were okay, regardless of her late night activities.

That’s what he was telling himself, anyway.

In the ten agonizing seconds it took for him to head footsteps from inside her apartment, he almost turned and bolted. Rowan was well aware that he was being a territorial fool. Evidently there was no reasoning with that very stupid and very irrational part of his brain, even as the clicking and sliding of locks had him wondering how quickly he could make it down a flight of stairs without being caught.

“Oh,” came her surprised voice, wide eyes and raised brows to match. It was his very favorite version of Aelin that opened the door. All of her golden hair was in a messy knot on the top of her head, a few pieces framing her face. Much to his satisfaction, he realized she was wearing the shirt he’d told her she could keep a few days prior. A pair of little black shorts peeked out from the hem, and the long expanse of her bare legs had him almost forgetting why he was there in the first place. “What are you doing here?”

Her voice brought his eyes back to her face. There was no evidence of the makeup she’d had on the night before and though he could tell by looking at her that she was exhausted, he could also see that she had at least a few hours of good sleep. The skin around her eyes was a little puffy and a few lines were tattooed on her cheeks from her pillow or the blanket.

“Did I wake you up?”

“No, no. I��ve been awake for like half an hour. Just haven't gotten to dragging myself out of bed yet since I’m not going to the office today.” Right. It was Monday. In his hazy stupor, Rowan had entirely forgotten that she should have been going to work.

“Are you too sick today?” Rowan was immediately on edge, searching her face and body for any sign of what would keep her from working. There was no point– she was downright glowing today. A healthy blush heated her cheeks and he could almost make out the small smattering of freckles across her nose from where he stood across the threshold.

“No,” she said simply. “I feel really good today, actually. You didn’t answer me. What are you doing here, Rowan?”

“You forgot your toothbrush at my house,” he said lamely, patting at his pockets. Fuck. “It was purple? I left it in my car.”

“I did leave it at your house because that’s the one you bought for me to keep there.” There was laughter in her words as she spoke, like she was bringing up an inside joke they’d made. Mirth danced in her brilliant turquoise eyes despite her face contorting with confusion as she asked again, her tone softer this time, “What are you doing here, Rowan?”

What a loaded fucking question. He sure as hell didn’t know. How many times on the way here had he asked himself the same thing?

He didn’t have to answer it directly, though, because he realized her shower was running down the hall. Before he could stop himself he blurted, “Is that Fenrys?”

“Fen– what?” There was so much disbelief in her voice, but she started laughing. “You drove all the way up here to see if Fenrys spent the night with me?”

Rowan wasn’t sure if the laughter was a good thing or a bad thing. It was impossible to tell if she was laughing at him for being so stupid he thought he had any right to know about her private life when he wasn’t around, or if she was laughing because the idea was so stupid and he had nothing to be worried about. He was inclined to think it was the former, because even though Fenrys liked to rile him up, he didn’t know if he would push Rowan quite so hard.

“Hey, bub? You hungry?” A voice, one that was distinctly not Fenrys’s shouted from the bathroom. In that one, tiny pet name, Rowan’s entire heart sank through the floor. If he looked down, he was sure he would be standing in a puddle of his own blood. The world had gone very quiet, his fingers suddenly freezing as he stuffed them into his pockets.

“Yes,” she called back, her eyes not leaving Rowan’s face.

Aelin was seeing someone else. It wasn’t a thought that had ever occurred to him until those texts from Fenrys, but now it was glaringly obvious. She had already said once that their relationship wasn’t supposed to turn into anything serious. Had she been seeing other men the whole time? It wasn’t like they’d ever talked about being exclusive in any shape or form. They had plenty of time away from each other. He never would have known. It couldn’t even be considered cheating.

“Rowan,” she said, bottom lip tucked between her teeth to swallow her smile.

“I’ll… I’m sorry. I’ll let you get back to the guy in the shower,” he half-mumbled, crossing his arms to hide his shaking hands.

And then she was well and truly laughing. It was a bright, melodious sound that under any other circumstance, he would have loved to pull out of her, to bottle up and get drunk on it whenever he pleased.. But right here, right now? Rowan was fucking gutted, and she was giggling like he’d said the funniest thing in the world.

Rowan had just turned to start walking away when she collected herself enough to say, “You mean my cousin?”

Time stopped. His blood was pumping in reverse to turn back the clock, to take everything he’d just said and wipe it from existence. Even his movements felt slower as he looked at her, fire licking up his neck and covering his face. The tips of his ears would be nearly purple and if he walked out into the humid air, his body would be steaming. She could probably feel the heat of his body from where she stood in the doorway.

Rowan had never been so fucking embarrassed in his entire life.

“Yeah, I– I am so sorry. I’ll talk to you later,” he grumbled, turning on his heel to make his swift exit and go die in peace. Recovery wasn’t an option. There was absolutely no coming back from this.

~*~

The plan with Fenrys had either gloriously backfired, or he put much more into the prank than expected. She made a mental note to text him about that later, but there wasn’t time for that now.

Aelin stepped through the door and caught Rowan’s hand before he was too far away. He felt feverish, like his immune system was trying to burn out the embarrassment before it could settle too much. It took a lot of tugging but he stopped trying to escape her presence. His footsteps were heavy on the old wood floors as she dragged him back toward her apartment.

“I really just want to go,” he told her, tattooed fingers sliding through his hair. It was down for once, not braided or tied out of his face.

“Look at me.” But he wouldn’t. Green eyes stayed glued to a spot well above her head, looking at anything but her. Yes, it had been funny that he thought that Aedion was a random hookup. But the devastation on his face had done nothing but wreck her in return. The laughter was partially an involuntary response to an awkward situation, but also because it was cute that he was so worried about it. Rowan had absolutely nothing to be worried about.

“Aelin–” The more she reached for him, the more he leaned away. He took one step back and she took one forward, refusing to let him leave while so upset. Aelin reached up, her cool hands resting on his warm cheeks as she gently guided his face to look at her. Before he could protest or slip further from her grasp, she rocked up onto her tiptoes and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to his lips. All ten of his fingers were shaking when they came to rest on her hips and it broke her heart.

“Take a breath,” she whispered, sliding her hands down his neck and over his chest. Rowan’s eyes were still closed as he rested his warm forehead against her own, but he obeyed. “Fenrys was just fucking with you. Clearly he took it way too far and I am so sorry. We will most definitely be having words about that.”

Before he could respond, from the depths of her apartment Aedion once again shouted for her and Rowan’s hands flexed on her hips. Aelin sighed and grabbed his hands, walking backwards with him until they were inside. Her fingertips were able to reach around him to push the door shut, sealing him inside with her.

“Aedion, can you shut the fuck up and come out here and talk to me like a normal person? You’re freaking out my boyfriend and he’s been through enough for today.” Aedion’s hurried footsteps down the hall and the click of his door shutting was the only response she was given, likely to hurry and dress for their sudden company.

Rowan looked inclined to agree with her sentiments, but didn’t say anything as she walked to the kitchen to get him some water. There was something off about him, and not just because of the trauma Fenrys had inflicted on him, nor the embarrassment that still stained his cheeks. He seemed almost… dim. All of the energy he’d had mere moments ago was vanishing before her eyes. His posture was a deflated balloon hovering inches from the ground a week after the party.

“Are you hungry?” She asked, taking his hand and guiding him to the couch. Rowan shrugged as she nudged for him to sit in the corner while she curled onto the middle cushion beside him, her legs leaning against his thigh. If anything, she hoped it would ground him from the hell he’d been dragged through in the last few hours. “When was the last time you slept?”

Rowan exhaled, his cheeks puffing out with the gust of air. Dark circles haunted the skin beneath his eyes, which were bloodshot, making the green of them all the more piercing. Aelin frowned at his lack of response, tugging on his sleeve until he looked at her.

“The fact that it’s taking you so long to figure it out tells me enough.” As though they couldn’t help themselves, despite her telling him she needed space, her traitorous fingers reached out and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“It’s been a few days,” He admitted, attempting to rub the tiredness away with his thumb and forefinger. “And my head is fucking killing me.”

“Let’s eat some breakfast and then we can nap, yeah? I’d tuck you in right now but I’m starving and I think you probably need to eat a bit, too.”

A crease appeared between his eyebrows, lips pursing into a line as he looked over at her and said, “Is that… okay? You said you wanted space. I’m not exactly giving it to you by showing up like this.”

“Considering I’ve barely been awake for an hour and could already use a nap, I’m going to go with yes. Besides, I do want you to meet Aedion while he’s here.” Thank the gods, his lips quirked into a small smile. Relief fluttered through her chest. She had never been so happy to see somebody smile at her before.

Just as he opened his mouth to respond, however, Aedion’s door opened and he appeared in the archway to the hall. Aelin looked over at her cousin with a look that threatened violence if he tried the man beside her even a little too hard. Much to her surprise, Aedion gave a short nod before walking closer to the couch.

“Aedion, meet Rowan. Rowan, this is Aedion.” Aelin was a little surprised that Rowan mustered the muscle power to stand and shake hands. “Rowan is very tired so save the groveling for later, please.”

“I think you should be telling him to save my ass-kicking for later,” Rowan amended, sitting back on the couch. Aelin grinned as he looked over at her. “I can assume you told him what I’ve done.”

“And that you’re very sorry,” she added sweetly, but her glance at Aedion was sharp as a dagger. Though his mouth had opened, likely to throw his own little quip into the sparring ring, it shut immediately.

“We’ll talk about it another time,” Aedion said simply, dropping onto the sofa beside Aelin with enough force that she bounced. She scowled at him, her hand immediately going to cover her stomach. “What are we eating?”

Half an hour later they had brunch delivered to the apartment, the three of them sitting knee to knee on the couch. The sofa in question had been chosen for the luxurious aesthetic it provided, but she made a mental note to look at sectionals. There was no way she could have any other visitors with only this and the overstuffed chair in the corner for seating.

Though he said a few things here and there, most of the conversation was Aelin and Aedion’s casual banter. While they did talk a little bit about the game he was carded in and what he expected for the rest of the season, as the conversation went on Rowan seemed to keep drawing further and further into himself. His broad shoulders were caved in and that wrinkle between his eyebrows got deeper and deeper. It looked like it was taking an astronomical amount of effort to keep his eyes open.

When they finished, Aelin and Rowan settled back against the couch while Aedion cleaned everything up. She had intended to just check a few emails before getting Rowan to bed, but he dozed comically fast. The email was half-read when she locked her phone and contemplated the best way to wake him gently.

“This is the man that got the first red-card of his career for being so fucking pissed on Friday?” Aedion asked incredulously.

“So it would seem.”

“You’ve never seen him play–” But Aelin cut him off with a shake of her head.

“I have. I watched the game until he got kicked out and then drove to Doranelle.”

“Before that,” his hand cut through the air, dismissing her. Aelin gave him a flat look before looking back at the man snoozing beside her. “He’s a demon, Aelin. When he’s on the field every move is calculated and with purpose. His face is always harsh and his body is always locked and loaded for the next play. Yet here he is, falling asleep on your couch with his mouth open. He might start drooling.” Aedion put his hands on his knees and leaned forward to get a closer look.

Aelin grinned, eyes cutting back to Aedion. She couldn’t help it. “Be nice, he’s getting old.”

She knew it was true. Ever since uncovering the truth about his job, she had spent an embarrassing amount of time watching highlight videos of his career online. Every photo she saw that was snapped mid-match, his face was all hard lines and angles like he was in the middle of a battlefield fighting for his life. On the soccer pitch, he looked like a warrior that had been honed for battle. Here, on her couch asleep, he just looked like Rowan. The real Rowan, and she was pretty sure not many people saw this side of him.

“He looks younger like this,” he observed, eyes squinting as if he could see the soccer persona in his face if he tried hard enough. It was nowhere to be seen, though.

“Probably because he isn’t awake to frown at me.”

“Yeah, no way this is the same guy that fought his way to a red-card before halftime,” Aedion concluded. Aelin snorted, her hand flying to her mouth to muffle the sound. Rowan didn’t so much as twitch.

“I’m pretty sure he almost cried when he heard you yell at me from the bathroom. He thought…” Involuntary giggles bubbled through her chest and out of her mouth, “He thought you were a hookup from last night.”

“That’s gross.” Aedion’s lips were downturned as he straightened, arms folding across his chest. “He almost cried?”

“That’s where it gets not-so- funny. Whatever Fenrys said to him really fucked him up.” She sighed then, reaching to trace his cheekbone with her fingertip. Rowan did stir then, eyes blinking rapidly as he took in a brute of a man staring down at him curiously and the feeling of Aelin’s skin on his. “Come on. Let’s go take a nap.”

In the most adorable protest of the century, Rowan started grumbling incoherently in the old language. Aelin smiled, only catching a few words here and there that equated to him insisting he wasn’t tired and they could nap later. His eyes betrayed him. They were heavy, blinking slowly and trying to roll back in his head.

“This is one argument you sure as hell aren’t going to win.” Aelin pulled him to his feet and guided him to her room. When she plopped him onto the edge of the bed his protesting started up again.

“What’s in it for me?” Sleepy, bleary eyes looked up at her as he refused to lay down. Aelin was standing between his legs with her hands on his shoulders, an eyebrow cocked to silently tell him he was being ridiculous.

“Besides sleeping for the first time in a couple days?” Rowan nodded, his fingertips grazing up her thighs and settling on her hips. She laughed, pushing his hair behind his ears. They would definitely be talking about his sleepless nights later. “What do you want?”

“A kiss, please.” His response was so immediate it made her heart play hopscotch in her chest. Sleepy Rowan might just be her favorite thing in the entire world. Not even cotton candy could make her feel so light and sweet.

“Okay, deal,” Aelin leaned down and pressed her lips to his forehead. Rowan swore in the old language but laid flat on his back and let her pull the blankets over his body.

“Should have been more specific,” he mumbled, pulling on her hand until she crawled over him to the other side of the bed and nestled into the sheets beside him. She let him pull her close until they were pressed flush together. A weight she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying fell from her shoulders, replaced by his arms around her body. Aelin didn’t pull away but snuggled into him as much as she could, her face against his chest as she deeply inhaled the scent that was so completely Rowan. The scent that was home.

“You should have,” she agreed, but Rowan was already asleep.

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