#anyway its 2 am im sleepy

[solplease]

here’s rowan

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

[becauseplot]

anyway yeah fr i miss ordo theoritas. i miss the theory crafting i miss the hugeass meetings before/after Big Lore Event to brief/debrief everyone involved i miss the chaos and confusion and laughter and teamwork. i miss the cellbit, bad, and phil (key-keepers my beloveds) being the heads of the ordo working together to untangle the mysteries to the island. they were hardly ever on at the same time bc schedules and time zones (WAILS) but in my head they had so many late nights down in the evidence rooms like this

just. yeah. yeahh.

[hikarry]

Okay children, gather around. It's "Spencer Complains and Acts a Little Mad" Time:

I have been raw dogging life for 1 month without my adhd/depression/anxiety/mood stabilizers medication and without a single Therapy appointment

I haven't left my house in 1 month, I haven't spoken to any of my (in person) friends in over 1 month, I haven't seen my family in 1 month, I haven't seen my bloody cat in over 1 month, I've barely left my bloody room in over 1 month, and I've been listening to my bloody voice almost every day for 1 hour so I can finish editing the bloody podcast for over a month

To top it all of: I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about 4 days now (in which I just don't sleep or I have extremely vivid nightmares with my departed mother and/or scenarios where I die over and over and over again but can't speak to ask for help before it happens - fun for all the family, if you ask me) and I might or might not be completely and absolutely going insane, with only Good Omens season 1 (6/6) and season 2 (5/6) and the existence of Crowley/red haired Fire Pokemon David Tennant Edition being my sole producer of any amount of serotonin

How am I alive? Good question. Beautiful genderfluid demonic content can be some very nice very distracting content for individuals that simp for Fire Type David Tennant Pokemon like myself

I am quite sure my only contact with anything mental health related in the past weeks has been my best friend whom is very very annoying and refuses to leave me the heck alone and whom is a nurse and is working extra time to advice my stupid ass the best she can, bless her heart

So, with my personal nurse's permission, I have doubled my sleeping medication for the night and, as Fall Out Boy once wrote for the song "Alone Together" in one of my favorite albums to have ever been created "Save Rock and Roll": I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead

[faaun]

man the perpetual all nighters have been doing wonders for my skin

[sunshinenextdoor]

Ah, our wedding photo. What a dreamy day it was! Just as dreamy as Wes looks in this picture. 🤭

[hacksawboy]

put my loadouts into one team called PNK and theyre pink because i am very normal about the color pink. also yes i did change my loadouts drastically again. whats it to ya huh. huh. (i am addicted to scrap tf someone take this fucking website away from me)

[butchnavi]

*starts drafting a rant on tumblr dot com* *writes a few hundred words* *is overcome by lethargy and omg doesn't sleeping sound so much more fun than this because im never going to get everything i want to express down and it's gonna feel forever incomplete* *lets it rot in my drafts forever and ever*

[nomaishuttle]

yayy today was so productive

[exopelagic]

tragic: the one time he’s actually queer he has a girlfriend

[dunmertwink]

🌛

[jinwoosbabyboo]

“Daddy’s Home”

Telling the LADS Men you're pregnant. The setting? Happily Married and both parties want kids. Nothing but fluff here (All these men are substantially financially stable and I love that for us)

Zayne

MC: Zayne I have something important to tell you

Zayne: I'm listening

MC: Im pregnant

Zayne: ....

MC: Baby?

Zayne: Im going to be a father?

MC: Yes we're having a baby

Zayne: I need to childproof the house. I'll need to work more hours.

MC: You already work inhuman hours

Zayne: We need a bigger house. Should I build it? I should build it. Why are you standing? You shouldn't be on your feet

MC: Sir I am 2 minutes pregnant we have time to prepare for this bundle of joy

Zayne: They'll need a college fund, driving lessons, a tutor...

Zayne continues mumbling and mulling over every single detail to himself

MC: I guess I'll relax enough for the both of us

Rafayel

MC: Raf sit down I need to tell you something

Rafayel: Why do I need to sit down?

MC: Its safer

Rafayel: My Lemurian senses are tingling but I'll trust you

MC: Okay breath in

Rafayel: *breathes in*

MC: now breath out

Rafayel: *breathes out*

MC: I'm pregnant

Rafayel: *Chokes on his spit* WHAT!

MC: Im 2 months pregnant

Rafayel: I'm gonna be a mother????

MC: No you're gonna be a father

Rafayel: Can I handle this? Can I still eat seafood? Am I allowed to swim in the ocean?

MC: Why are you acting like you're the one carrying twins?

Rafayel: TWINS?! I GET A TWO FOR ONE DEAL?!

MC: What am I? A yard sale?? Don't say it like that

Rafayel: You’re really pregnant?

Rafayel grabs your hands and holds them to his chest where you can feel his heart racing

MC: Yes we’re going to be parents

Rafayel: you....and i....preg-.... twi-

MC: don't pass out please don't pass out right now

Rafayel: *Passes out anyway*

Xavier

MC: Xavier?

Xavier who was currently laying with his head buried in your lap with his arms wrapped around your waist.

Xavier: Hmm?

MC: Do you want a baby? With me?

Xavier rubbing small circles on your lower back with his thumb as he stirred in his sleepy state

Xavier: I want everything with you

MC: Good

Xavier: *Dozing off*

MC: Because I’m pregnant

Xavier: That’s great

MC: …

Xavier: …

MC: and 3….2……..1

Xavier: Wait what ???

MC: You heard me

Xavier: So I’m a dad?

MC: Father to be

Xavier: We have to start their swordsmanship training right away

MC: How about we take it slow like letting them grow in my stomach first?

Xavier: Oh I guess you’re probably right

MC: yea now lay back down

Xavier snuggles right back into your lap placing soft kisses on your stomach that isn’t even showing yet

Xavier: My little angel

Sylus

MC: I need your help how would you tell someone they're a father?

Luke: Im a father?!

MC: Luke shut up

Kieran: *Shoves Luke*

Luke: Sorry

MC: I just don't know how to tell Sylus

Sylus: Tell me what?

Kieran: Me and Luke are uncles now!

MC: Kieran!

Sylus: You’re pregnant?

MC: *Shows the pregnancy test* We’re having a baby

Sylus: Looks as though my efforts weren’t in vain

MC: You were trying to get me pregnant?

Sylus: Why do you think I constantly had you in a mating press?

MC: Sylus! Don’t talk like that in front of the twins

Sylus: *chuckles* I can’t wait to see you plump and glowing with our child princess

Later….

Kieran: I can’t wait to teach them sarcasm

Luke: I’m definitely doing everything their strict parents tell them not to do

Sylus: You two. Sidebar. In my office. Now.

MC, In the background: ooouu you guys are in trouble … bad uncles and the baby isn’t even here yet

[rivertakis]

update: i have scavenged the internet and have saved 1k images in one day for my personal archives of my newest blorbo

im so fucking normal.

being obsessed with fictional characters is great, because sometimes, your newest obsession is a character that goes against all your irl morals.

AND YET--

[volturiprincess]

Better than a cup of coffee

Alec Volturi x human mate Warnings: Just pure fluff A/N: This one is short and sweet, i apologize to anyone who does not drink coffee but as I was writing this I was drinking coffee and I'm a coffee person anyways. I wasn't sure if I was going to work on this today but I needed some fluff and well here is it. There will be a second A/N in the end. Enjoy 🤗

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☕️~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(My love🖤)

I have never been a morning person, just the thought of having to wake up early makes me want to cry. I applaud the people who wake up early. But when I meet my mate Alec, mornings have officially become my favorite part of the day. What makes it so special, is Alec wakes me up with a fresh cup of coffee that he made just for me. I'm not sure how he picked up on how to make coffee or how to make it how I like it but I guess he really does pay attention to my every move in the mornings.  I have told him before that for me to function as a human I need a cup of coffee or else I will not be a delightful person to be around.

He unfortunately witnessed that side of me and has made it his mission to have that cup of coffee ready for me when I wake up. But that's not what makes it special, when he wakes me up, the first thing I see is his face. He has this small smile and his eyes are full of warmth and love that makes me feel like i'm in a dream still. He's like my personal fallen angel that I have the honor to call mine. 

This morning did not start any differently, the sunlight was gazing on me with its million mini rays hitting my face. I heard a small thud hit my nightstand, and I opened my eyes slightly to be blessed by the sight of my stunning mate looking at me already with his face slightly having that unhuman sparkle. His burgundy eyes also already having that intense but loving look he gives me whenever he looks at me, even if I probably look like crap he never fails to lose that look. 

With his small warming smile already on his face, he again blesses me with his soothing voice “Good morning sunshine, the earth says hello”

I make “grabby hands” toward him and he comes closer to lay on top of me with laying his face on my chest. I bury my face into his hair and mumble groggily 

“Someone’s been paying attention to the movies I make them watch”

“Always my love”

He tilted his head up and gave my neck multiple kisses, the temperature difference between his cold lips and my warm skin made me feel that familiar feeling of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Being like this with him makes me forget there is a real world out there, almost makes me feel like we are the only two people on this planet. These small moments we share I hold dearly to my heart because I am the only person that gets to see Alec in such a vulnerable and relaxed form, not even Jane has seen him like this, the honor I have. While he continues to give me now soft kisses instead of multiple, I run my hands through his dark locks. I'm glad he has kind of long hair so I am able to run my hands through his hair. So soft and silky, makes me slightly jealous he has nicer hair than me but he tells me it's a vampire thing. The way his soft kisses leave me in a state of bliss that makes me mumble nonsense 

“Better than a cup of coffee”

He lifts his face to looks up at me with a pure astonish look and exclaims 

“Are you serious? But you said you always need a cup of coffee to be human”

I pull him into a deep gentle kiss that he reciprocates, I pull away and say with a small sleepy smile 

‘Your my cup of coffee now”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: So cuteeee. I like how I did a little reference of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (2005), its actually my alarm sound 🤭. I just wanted to say that Im working on a Caius one-shot, this one is taking a bit longer to get done because its longer than my usual ones and I was thinking of doing a 2 part to it. But also I have my finals this week so I wont be posting to often, I may have part one of my Caius one-shot out this week but I been having some small difficulties with it and I keep changing my mind in how to write it plus studying keeps me occupied the majority of my day. But I.m happy to have gotten this one out in the open because its so sweet and adorable, I almost made it a Carlisle one-shot but as I kept thinking about this it just screamed Alec.

[tea-and-secrets]

im red-colorblind, and a chef. one of the last times i was at work, i accidentally served a guest a raw shrimp 😔

the situation:

our industrial oven broke, so we had a $35 fucken easy bake oven, for a week. im stupid allergic to a spice used regularly in the kitchen (boss promised shed phase it out 🫠 its been 4 months) & i take benedryl for when im exposed to it .well, diphenhydramine makes me sleepy and brain fog. she knows this, ahes complained to me about it. i keep askin her to change the recipes or Not have me in the kitchen when its cooking, she disapproves. a customer had just ordered a cobbler with x spice in it like 20 minutes previously, so id chewed benedryl & was feelin it already. it was a crazy busy night (there was a concert down the street, we had live music, and were a bar).

so here I am, the singular chef/busboy/dishwasher/etc back there, juggling 7 orders, that all came in within 3 minutes of each other. yeah :| was awful. i was losing tickets (very windy, too hot to keep the window closed) and scrambling around tryna keep time when all i had was a easy bake confection oven, and 1 porta burner to work with. anyway, i forgot to temp check 2 dishes, the shrimp and the gnocchi. 1 outta 6 shrimps was half raw...i was SO embarrassed, still am tbfh. it went to a regular, but, yk.

i should also mention that boss lady got extremely mad at me for asking about the recent Listeria chicken recall, and took me aside to scold me for thinking she was like dirty or something?? idk i didn't really get the jist of the 2nd "talking to". shes got fucking mice in the dining area too, theres shit every. where. except the kitchen

.

[irishmammonagenda]

Hii!! 🧚‍♀️It's Wee Emo anon 🍾

Really liked your last work, so here i am again

Can i request brothers reaction on MC who cry over small things?

Like they see little kitten on the street and - WHOOP! - they're bubbling sobbing mess

I'm kinda can't cry (sounds dramatic lol) and wanna MC to feel it instead of me 😬

Love your works, keep going bestie💐🏃‍♂️

HI WEE EMO <3 please ignore the fact you sent me this on april 27th and its now june i had gcses to prepare for 😔✊

anyway, who let you into my house 😧🤨

no seriously i've cried at multiple south park episodes. south park. sometimes i wanna cry when i see my dog i cannot be trusted i tear up so easily especially when im writing🙁

for not being able to cry that is not very good for you fr:

i used to not be able to cry + still only really tear up, some tears drip down and let out like 2 sobbing sounds before im good again, i dont even have to try and stop crying, two sobs and im done, but my biggest tip is, get tired like really sleepy to the point where your eyes water bc of tiredness then watch something really sad.

i ha to literally train myself to be able to cry again bro dw, i wish i could have a big long cry but like 3 mins of crying is better than none, trust me wee emo you'll feel better

#dontbottleupyouremotions

ANYWAY:

this was very hard to imagine their reactions to idk why, but i tried so 😔✊

grma wee emo for requesting <3 and grma everyone else for reading <3

Obey Me Brothers With a Sensitive MC <3

It was safe to say you were sensitive, back when Melanie Martinez's music was a lot better, you really could say that the song 'Crybaby' pretty much encapsulated your entire being, it still did, but you liked to think you were more mature in your music taste now. (You weren't)

Being suddenly catapulted into the Devildom did a number on your emotions, and you found yourself quite numb. But as you adjusted, and bonded with the others, you found that you were back to your usual self, which was a crybaby.

So then how do the brothers react?

LUCIFER

Great. Two Mammons.

At least Mammon No.2 (you) isnt a tsundere about it.

Lucifer does not like seeing you cry. Even if its because something is cute, (although he does find it quite adorable, not that he'd admit it)

This demon is of the opinion that tears should never disgrace your beautiful eyes.

He will invite you to listen to his records with him and purposely put on sad ones or really sweet ones so you grip onto him while you tear up,

He is a demon, after all. ;)

MAMMON

Finally. Someone who cries more than him!

It actually makes him feel safer around you, like you wont bully him for being more sensitive than his brothers.

Actually ends up dropping a lot of his tsundere act around you.

You watch movies together, but always have to check the Devildom version of 'doesthedogdie.com'

Idk, I feel like Mammon would give you a bit of bother for it at first but then slowly start to like, open up more, because he really does see himself in you like that.

LEVIATHAN

He blanks.

One day you start crying because of how cute the anime you both were watching was, Levi thought you were geniunely upset, so he tried to cheer you up.

You end up thinking that its really sweet and start crying harder.

Leviathan PANICKS.

Even now, he still gets really nervous when you start crying, and has popped into his demon form more times than he can count when you grab onto him and sniffle.

Please he's already so awkward he can't handle how cute you are.

You might make him start crying as well :(

SATAN

Satan 100% gets so angry he starts crying so he can kind of understand it.

He's just glad you cry over positive things :)

His favourite moment was definetly when you teared up over a small kitten. (He took several photos and also took the kitten home)

Like Lucifer he 100% invites you to read with him and picks the fluffiest most adorable romance he can find, or the saddest most heartbreaking romance he can find.

He likes when you cling onto him and look up at him with those big teary eyes.

He's a demon. What did you expect, ;)

ASMODEUS

He thinks you're adorable.

Any emotion on your face is adorable to him actually. <3

If you wear makeup he makes sure to get you waterproof mascara and other eye makeup so your beautiful tears dont ruin your beautiful makeup <3

If any of you remember that crying girl makeup trend? Yeah he deffo starts that up in the Devildom (a) to make you feel less embarrassed about it and (b) because he thinks youre so beautiful when you express yourself.

BEELZEBUB

He doesn't cry a lot, it's not exactly something that comes naturally to him at all.

Its not that he CANT cry or that he holds his tears back, its just that he doesn't normally process or reaction to things with tears.

Only in serious serious situations will he cry.

So when he sees you crying over one of those little onigiri things that are literally adorable, he thinks that you've somehow hurt yourself. (i nabbed this off of pinterest)

Beel panics, and mentally goes over the ingredients in his head, did he order something with an ingredient that was dangerous to humans?

He calms down when he realises that you're crying because it looks cute.

He feels you with that.

Makes an effort to take you to more places with food items displayed in cute ways.

Though you do have to look away while Beel cuts them up for you, otherwise you wouldnt be able to eat it.

BELPHEGOR

He laughs at you.

Point blank.

Originally when he's in the attic he uses your sensitivity as a way to manipulate you.

But post lesson 16, he really starts to appreciate it more.

This bastard will use his powers as the youngest sibling against you, he'll dress up in cute onesies and give you puppy eyes, all to coax you into taking naps with him.

Which you do.

I have no idea how half of these fuckheads would react tbh