#which damn that sucks I guess. anyway
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tragic: the one time heās actually queer he has a girlfriend
#probably. probably#pretty sure he came with her tonight and I am not the only one with this impression#which damn that sucks I guess. anyway#like itās not for sure but if heās not gay specifically theyre probably together. pretty sure theyāve come together before too so#just like man how do people do this the situation is dire here#this is bc i dont have friends who are men. i know so many lesbians just so many lesbians but i do not talk to guys which in hindsight.#no no this is not entirely true i have a bunch of friends (casual) who are guys they are just Actually straight#or like. probably but are also babies#but man like i thought i at least had a fair shot this time even if he turned out to suck or reject me#either one wouldve been chill! ive just not properly done this from this side before#also sucked is the wrong word there it ranges from oh im not actually interested to yeah hes annoying#i dont think hes annoying he is widely regarded as rlly sweet#being gay hard. imagine#this is slightly incoherent its just 1am and i have had super long day and just got bacl from 2 very intense hours of ice hockey so im FUCKE#just so sleepy. and i wanted to fwoosh put this somewhere yknow#will probably find out on friday anyway and its just. chill. its not like i was super invested in this i will easily get over it#just got excited bc oh my god an actual queer guy in the wild who is cool and i already kinda know#well! im about to pass out so. see what happens#luke.txt
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#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere šššššš#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this š#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a ālet's live together and get a cat one dayā relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a āsex and video gamesā type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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no funny little thoughts today. have this instead,,,,,, mtt fighting shshahsgahagsgaa CHOKES ok i lied maybe i DO have funny little thoughts below where the reference is :3
this is SUCH a cool composition shot i had to draw something based off it (ignoring the erm. the flashing,,,,, this game came out like 10 years ago just ignore that)
anyways triglycercule what are your thoughts??? funny you asked triglycercule allow me to illuminate :3 so ive been remembering that one ask from like 3 or 4 months ago where i answered like well i like to consider the trio to just have met one day and then decided oh hey we should like totally explore the multiverse together (my excuse to draw them in any possible situation possible (mtt at an amusement park when) (soon (probably not))) and recently i was like WAIT i could probably like totally find a way for them to meet because just saying they met (is a totally valid use of my creator powers BUT) is uncreative and vague,,,,,
so i was like damn. how COULD i get them to meet š§š§š§ so i was like ok so dust beats human. done and done. but like bros BOUND to get bored. like if he gets bored from not having the human to kill then he's gonna seek out SOME other form of entertainment. so dust is like ok how about i work on some old ancient machines i made b4 to pass the time and one of these ends up being like a universal traveler thingy. and to his own surprise he actually MANAGES to get it done???? (i totally didnt steal this idea from myself,,,,, whaaat youre saying there's another triglycercule dust that came up with a universe hopper machine??? NO (sorry mania))
and oops instead of staying in dusttale like he intended dust accidentally gets chucked into horrortale (bro just wanted the sense of accomplishment not to thrown into some random world.) and then cue like horror and him meeting and its all tense and confusing and then horror paps comes around and hes like OMG āļøTWO BROTHERS ā¼ļøā¼ļø and then invites dust over for a nice sweet little bowl of human spaghetti. unfortunately for dust the little teleporter device is no longer connected to dusttale's core (because hes not IN dusttale) so he just kinda has to suck it up and deal with it until he can find a portable power source
dust's not trying to get KILLED out here so he asks horror (who sadly cannot push dust into blue snow because paps is very enthusiastic about his appearance) where he can find like batteries or something. and horror makes some off hand comment about like power sources and his eye being in the core and how theres like no power and oh why did dust immediately start listening once horror mentioned his eye,,,,,, dusts not gonna rip horror's eye out (he has no reason 2 if theres a perfectly good 1 @ the core!) so he tells horror what he needs the power source for and then hes like i can help you get food for your buddies if you help me help you. ok? ok
and then they sneak into the core to get the eye and oops dust didnt you learn your lesson last time!! the little teleporter thingy brings them to another world AGAIN (and now horror's PISSED because this wasn't in their little deal) and guess where is is,,,,, you already know its something new. and i guess to make things uncomplicated this is a something new where killer already killed his chara but he hasn't tried to reset the world and kill himself (and therefore attract nightmare) yet (he's getting there!)
not like they think the au is anything other than just a wasteland because there is literally like nobody around but they stumble into killer and it doesn't even take like more than a minute before a fight breaks out (i probably need to think more about what happened and why they started fighting but knowing the trio its BOUND to happen) and lowkey killer is getting his ass beat what the hell??? he has never experienced a fight where he's been on the losing end in a long ass time & mindgames arent working because they keep seeing through his shit??? (because horror and dust somehow even though they barely know each other and horror's pissed @ dust have like craaaazy synergy and coordination & killer hasnt faught them ever before + yk yk inner turmoil at seeing other versions of yourself) so he gets annoyed and pulls out the blaster to end it
dust and horror don't DIE outright (not like they would be able to tank killer's blaster) because killer decided to be like hey these guys are new and cool and interesting. i should keep them around instead of killing them off and see how much i can play around with them :3 so he just blasts them until theyre at like 0.0000000000000001 HP :3333 and then idk thats it 4 now,,,,,, i think this is silly and fun and cool and i can imagine it in my head and OH NO THE VOICES (make a comic) THEYRE GETTING LOUDER (you should draw this) NO WAIT MY MOTIVATION (coooomic would be a perfect medium for this) im sorry inner voices i cant,,,,,,,
#i could probably push the perspective to its extreme if i did it on my ipad#make the gaster blaster bigger...... give killer a cooler pose........#but im lazy i dont feel like transferring this 1 2 digital and therefore it gets stuck on paper with no further edits#anyways this is soooo cute this is so them in my eyes. yeah this would happen#triglycercule HATES cementing things in place for the mtt (because my flexibility will be GONE!!!!)#but fortunately this is only 1 interpretation of them!!! thank god!!!! im not limited to this 24/7#i like the idea that horror' immortality is now like stuck in dust's device that they use to multiverse hop#like a part of his life is quite literally dependent on the device being intact#but also it powers the device which is like..... woaaaaah double meaning or something#it's dust's device powered by horror's eye but killer's the one that knows how to handle it best#they all get to do team collaboration with the teleporter!!! yay!!!!!!!#back on th immortality thing (i mean hes not REALLY immortal but still)#horror technically could just stay behind in horrortale and let dust an killer fuck around#because maybe killer would come along with dust if he knew what dust made#but he doesn't (because it sucks balls in horrortale and he's GUIIIILTY) but also because like. its just a good tradeoff#horrortale gets the food and support he wants to give them so the suffering can end#and horror doesn't have to be plagued with his boredom and stuck in a place he both traumatized and is traumatized by#its a win win!!! besides like sightseeing is a good enough tradeoff for hanging out w dust and killer#and dust still gets to revisit dusttale once in a while JUUUST to make sure the human didnt somehow come back#and even if he did now they get to reenact the murder time trio fight against dust's human w horror n killer!!!!!!!!#OH SHIT I JUST NOTICED DUSTS LEFT HAND IS BACKWARDS FUCK#NOOOOOO I MESSED UP......... AAAAAAA...!!!!!! too l8 to change it now...... (lazy)#ahahaaaaaaa i love this version of the mtt so much. its like KINDA canon compliant but also has a triglycercule flourish to it#AND NO NIGHTMARE IN SIGHT!!! YES!!!!!!!!#this killer seeing another version of him where he didnt have dust and horror to find him first#and being like damn. i could've ended up like that. i could've ended up serving someone else...... its a bit of an uncomfortable feeling#so off he goes to bother dust and horror again! gained an ever so slight appreciation for not being in that situation I GUESS idk#i snickered giving killer the chara smiley face to simplify his face gooooodddddddd#this feels naught of needing to be tagged. anyways i THINK this could be a hc idk....... headcanon it is!#tricule hc
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But Also i do think. Expecting Crisp Ironed Clothes of someone in a fucking job interview is Unhinged. I think most professional dress standards are Stupid.
#toy txt post#i value the labor it to knownhow to do that. but i really queation Why the labor is required for so much low stakes shit#even high stakes shit?#its good to know how ti do and can be used to elevate an outfit. AND. a stupid arbitrary standard of fashion to uphold#especially as a judgement of like class /professionalism / i think professionalism is Largely Stupid. thats what im saying#good god who are you the fucking military? the god damn marines? you gonna drill sarge on me about wrinkles? fuck off#depending on the construction of the shirt and the material i think you can Get Away With a Lot of Not Ironing. but i suppose. obviously#getting away with can also require privilege! which sucks and is stupid#i think i could probably haphazardly figure out ironing based on figuring out how to hang shirts to dry to avoid wrinkles and#watching dad do it occasionally. might struggle with pants cos i dont think ive ever needed to iron pants OR bother with methods to avoid#wrinkling too much? would they look Better? yea probably i guess but i aint doin all that#anyway. while i have you hear i also despise menswear rules i think theyre all stupid arbitrary shit and i cannot imagine#thinking the menswear guy on twitters dunks are worth any salt even if hes dunking on ppl u hate ā” thats my hot take#none of those guys suck bc they dont dress well they suck bc theyre fucking fascists and going teehee their suits are untailored!#doesnt fucking land for me actually#its giving 'well. all trump voters are fat' like???????? same energy#yes i know one of the critiques is about shit thats easier to change and not intrinsic to that persons appearance#but i still think it sucks for similar reasons#+ it really feels like it downplays the issue of the guys hes dunking on being like. fascists. idk. not to mention so many of those#menswear fashion rules are SO fucking conformative and stupid. do whatever you want forever. be unfashionable. mix leather colors.#idk. ig its valid to Know the fashion rules and Then break them on purpose but the tone always annoys the shit out of me too
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eww I'm sorting through photos from my old phone (not the last one, the one before that. five years later....) and there's a bunch from all my hospital stays and it's making me feel really bad š
#really not good times#I was in soooo much pain#all the time#I don't want to remember that#though I guess it's good to be reminded sometimes (cause it justifies that I had my gallbladder removed. yeah it fucking sucks now but damn#it was SO MUCH worse before...)#anyway I'm not gonna delete them I think š but I won't look at them now. or maybe ever again. but I'll still keep them#personal#I honestly don't even know which phone these are all from. I must have reset it at some point and saved them before that because it's very#random/weird times lol
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erm. well im going to talk about my dream in the tags i guess
#my dream kinda sucked shit i was in like some dorm and i dont really remember what happened before all the bad stuff other than like.#weird highway....... but um there was this girl in the dorm or something and she wanted to i think hang out with me at first#i dont think it was initially like oh we're gonna have sex or whatever. and she took me to some weird place and immediately#i was trying to say this place is weird i feel uncomfortable being here because it was like through this like i guess abandoned highway#area and had trash and towards this forested part and she was like ugh why does everyone i bring here say that -_- and there was some#other girl also there. but once we got closer it was also sort of like. a ravine it was sort of cool. and then some stuff happened#and i was like ok with having sex like she wanted to but like i said stuff happened in the dream we couldnt get around to it#i had fallen asleep at one point and then woke up. and she was like damn. well we can still do it before you have to go there's#plenty of time and i was like oh... okay... but then i look at the time and it's like 4 and im like fuck im already late for work and#so i have to run off. she's disappointed. im heading to work there's also some apartment..??? idk im suddenly at the mall which isnt where#my work is but whatever. anyways im like i gotta lock this apartment which is at the mall and hten i head to where my job is#and apparently she is like trying to fucking stalk me and shit and i was talking to one of my managers and she's there and i just#i dont know i eventually wake up and that just sort of really sucked
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the algorithm is never more apparent to me than when I see a youtuber I watch in the chat of another youtuber I watch
#kayla says jumpscare in a foreign man video#or jacob drawfee mentioning a pricklyalpaca video#(which was inspired by one of jacobās speed paint videos)#or seeing whatalsaid in a moderngurlz comment section#like damn#weāre really all just hanging out in the same room huh#the algorithm is playing you 24/7 lmao#it feeds into your biases#if your social media sucks#thatās largely your fault bro#just watched an FD video recently that said that#if your social media sucks and you complain about that#youāre really just telling on yourself and exposing who you are#(paraphrasing)#and itās like yeah lmao#my social media experience is largely great these days#(instagram my beloathed)#anyway#and this is not the same as a collab#because thatās like a different level yāknow#itās their own little group#but when itās like I described above#itās like oh hey!!#it feels moreā¦..#equalizing??? I guess???#idk how to explain it lol#thereās probably a parasocial element to it
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i fucking hate how much "mine / yours" still means to me. i'm finally managing to move on from his music. but i'm still so attached to "mine / yours".
#i haven't listened to ycgma/lvjy stuff for weeks now. frankly i'm starting to forget about it#which is hypers bc the brainrot is finally starting to brainheal#but msr / mine/yours? damn. i still think about:#''you kiss me like it was your job / so tender and carefully / teeth before tongue''#&#''i take you for granted because the alternative's far more alarming''#so often. and while i do believe that one day i'll manage to completely forget about him... it sucks the day still hasn't arrived.#anyway fuck wlbr <3 once i forget about his existence i'll live a better life <3#own#the sergeant speaks#xxx.#(<- i guess this counts as a vent)
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i used to be really nervous about going back to my hometown because āwhat if i run into someone i donāt likeā but like. the few times that has happened the people who have done be dirty have just 100% ignored me/run away from me. even despite me trying to be like heyyy. lol. which i guess means im a lot more confrontational than other ppl....
#lowkey bothers me though cause im like bruh you were so rude to me in highschool and youre gonna act like im the bad guy........#can you just own up to it and we can get it over with?? now it's awkward!!!#like im so down to have a positive interaction and not have to have this bitter taste in my mouth anymore..#also the way that multiple of these ppl work at a starbucks that i frequent#and had to take my order#LIKE I GAVE YOU MY NAME YOU OBVIOUSLY RECOGNIZE ME#idk i feel like if it were my me i would just apologize and get it over with#cy says stuff#personal#truth is i am a lot better with confrontation than other ppl but that's cause i was forced to learn those skills at a younger age..#it is kind of cringe that ppl don't wanna face their past or own up to their past mistakes ngl#anyways... my friend invited me to go to starbucks tomorrow and i am probably gonna run into the same girl who would spread rumors about me#and constantly update me on my ex despite me asking her not to#and also called me stupid for not doing well on a quiz i literally wasn't there for........#thing is no one liked her i was just nice to her cause i am a nice person.. and then she was so mean to me... like wtf...#and when i told her i didnt want to sit next to her anymore cause she was mean to me she started bawling#like damn girl okay i still dont want to be your friend though cause you kind of suck#and i guess she still holds that against me to this day lol. or at least the last time i saw her which was like. december#anyways im hella jetlagged and i woke up at midnight again. intrusive thoughts go brr#it'll be fine i am strong
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ā¦š
#insurance rejected the claim from the corpse cleaners#so now i guess. i get to face down a $30k bill yahoo#<- iām not gonna be financially ruined by this it just sucks#bc i got a phone call this morning telling me i just need to#pay the deductible which was $2.3k and now itās like#oh! sorry we lied you gotta pay $28k on top of that teehee#i love. living in the united states. /heavy sarcasm#(and mind this is on top of like $7k in legal fees and the $140k mortgage)#frustrating but. weāll be fine.#just letting people in on just how much it costs to die#oh yeah. his memorial/cremation costs were like $6k but thankfully he had funerary insurance thru his#job so they took care of that for us š#edit: oh okay because the company we used for bio cleanup are literal angels itāll be at most like 15k instead since weāre paying ourselves#anyway why the fuck do you pay for insurance if you canāt ever use it damn
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Welp. Just went through my first breakup. Time to make pasta and cinnamon hot cocoa and binge watch Supernatural like the mature adult that I am
#missed the eight year mark by a couple months#which makes it suck even more that i had to break things off#anyways despite it being 86Ā°F today hot cocoa seems like the way to go#damn. i always thought a breakup would suck less when you're the one initiating it#but i guess it was time#personal#vent
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well i saw it and i am just. tired. i'm gonna try not to worry about it until i see the show for context. it sucks it got spoiled, especially so soon to the release date. but idk! maybe now we can chill out about this specific thing and it doesn't have to be an insane huge deal like shit like this always is?
#just my 2 cents u r getti g what you pay for#low quality spoiler also.??? how tf was it that shitty of an image lmao#anyway. damn#i know neil is upset. im kinda upset too. idk. this show has gotten so much shit specifically on this topic that it just sucks that it's#one more thing people are going to be focusing on and analyzing and theorizing about when we could just. chill out i guess#like i KNOW. i was DEEP in my good omens special interest for 2 whole years. that shit was impossible for me to let go of. i KNOW. but.#it's ok. whatever it turns out to be we just have to wait and see yk#even if it is [redacted] which i would be mad about and [redacted] which would be nice. whatever#good omens#good omens spoilers#good omens s2#good omens s2 spoilers#<- just covering my bases#i probably won't post more about it unless something else crazy happens or until the season comes out#fyi
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story of my life tbh
#completely ignoring what happened with the album preordersā¦ guess who dropped a load of cash on a game that they have no time to play~?#yeahā¦ meā¦ ą²„āæą²„ i still havenāt finished p5r tooā¦ so b s#i woke up from my mid-dinner nap and justā¦ had this thought of ādamn i need to buy the collectors ed of nirvana initiativeā soā¦ yeah#i canāt wait to get onto the gameās inevitable equivalent of an annihilation route on my initial blind playthrough lmaoooo#i swear ztd aside iāve always alwaysssss somehow gotten on the one route where p. much everyone kicks the bucket on my initial playthroughs#(of the games by that particular director anyway)#999? knife ending. vlr? luna route. aitsf? annihilation ending. am i just bad at making decisions or sth lmaoooo#though ig it could be worse? there was that other character ending in vlr that was kindaā¦ ye a h. iirc#hmmmmm but ngl i kinda miss 999 the funyarinpa bit was funny#but the 2 room was hella gross ngl as was the thing in the 3 roomā¦ and the 5 room was it? hmā¦#either way fictional science: the escape room games were fun~ i wonder if there will be a callback to 999 in ni though bc n i r v a n a ā#ā¦though i have to sayā¦ aitsf ruined me fr. now i canāt look at acetone without thinking āasetton-chan~ā#which sucks bc i have to use acetone like every day sooooooo aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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trying not to be dramatic but. i kinda want to start drama!
#like damn im really not gonna be in this wedding i guess#like idk i know my one friend already asked another girl to be her maid of honor but itās a gay wedding. it can be all girls!!!#and i keep telling myself āoh she prob wants to ask you in personā#not even maid of honor but even just lower tier bridesmaid#but ive texted them like three times since ive been here and i feel like im getting blown off#i get it itās thanksgiving weāre all busy u might not have time but at least TELL ME#i wonāt be back on the east coast for a while !!!#which i guess maybe thatās a reason why they wouldnāt ask but THEY USED TO TALK ABT IT ALL THE TIME!!!#AND IVE BEEN LIVING ON THE WEST COAST THEIR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP!!!#itās not like they didnāt know#idk im also a drama queen but. it sucks!!!#and i have these fucking. elopement presents i wanted to give them but maybe not if they DONT ANSWER MY TEXTS#anyways still slight glimmer of hope that i will get to be a bridesmaid simply because i will feel bad if i talked all this shit#and i do end up getting asked#also bc if im not whatās the fucking point of going itās like ill be traveling to maryland to go to the wedding that hurt my feelings#ok thatās enough i think.#maybe im just so sleepytired idk how to act
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Me: So yeah, in the Sacrifice AU in order to cope with her trauma Suiren develops an alterhuman thing where she thinks of herself as a malevolent swamp spirit, both to feel invincible and to prove everyone who turned against her right, in a "you want me to be the villain? Fine, I'll be the villain" kind of way. They think of her as evil and rotten and an omen of doom? Okay, so be it, maybe she is all those things and more, much more than they can ever imagine. She'll show them all
My brain: Mhm, mhm, and I suppose your intense self hatred, the endless criticism you face from everyone in your life, the unyielding sense of impending doom hanging over you like a dark cloud, the hysterics you fall into whenever you think about how this endless every day battle won't end with highschool and you still have to go to uni afterwards and then work every day of your life until you eventually drop dead, all the while knowing you will never be loved like you want to because there are more As in your aspec identity than in your report card which, combined with everything else, makes you want to say "fuck it" to every last expectation, stop putting in the effort, ignore assignments and stop caring about reviewing bad grades, not do any studying at all and wing your exams and fail to get accepted anywhere with the low scores you'll likely get if you do that, effectively throwing your whole life away, just so your parents can finally be justified in calling you a disappointment, just so you can actually be as bad as they make you out to be and so much worse... has nothing to do with any of that, then?
Me: ...... oh for FUCK'S SAKEā
#just once. can a storyline NOT involve some very personal and very sensitive part of my fucked up psyche? PLEASE??#where did this even come from#I wasn't the one who came up with alterhuman Suiren. how did it line up to my thought process so well??#anyway#guess so just sobbed for an hour straight because they didn't want to write an essay for literature#which spiralled into all of this#I don't even know HOW to write essays!! it wasn't something we did these last two years!!! I'd rather not try at all than embarrass myself#I don't care what that woman says. let her fail me. let her see that I'm not being self deprecating when I say I suck#and NO I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN THAT I'M SOUNDING LIKE RENNY RIGHT NOW#APPARENTLY I'M INCAPABLE OF SOUNDING LIKE ANYONE ELSE#you know what. rant over. I'm done#I'm gonna go grab myself a snack and get it together#(because apparently I need to make myself fatter than I already am. great plan Nia)#(Ń
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