#anyway it's 2:43 am and im over this

[playingonedchess]

characters: lets live together

people on tumblr: this of course means theyre canonically having sex, no what are you talking about i dont do headcanons my blog is all stuff based on canon

[the-lonelyshepherd]

Hiii I know you've probably talked this in your other posts, but I thought I'd mention it anyway ^^ I'm doing a rewatch of Yellowjackets rn and something stuck out to me. During episode 2 the song "Glory Box" by Portishead begins to play, and at around 43:07, there's a shot of Nat looking at Travis. What lyric plays over this shot?

"I just want to be a woman"

I mean. I mean come on. Even if it wasn't intentional, it's still something.

YEAHHH HI YEAH!!!! transvis mention

i acc have NOT thought abt that ever before! rewatched the ep just now for this ( thank u for timestamps thank you sm). and OUGH theres a few ways you could take it.

"i just want to be a woman" could be nat just like. liking travis. ykyk. i just want to be a woman (to him). and im assuming thats prob how it was intended? HOWEVER

travis trans real????????? so so interesting and i love this interpretation too. she just wants to be a woman. not much more to say (there is a lot more to say unfortunately i doubt my ability to be coherent rn)

MYSTERIOUS OPTION 3. DUAL MEANING!!! BOTH OR NONE!!! yellowjackets as a show has a big thing about being ambiguous. is it supernatural? is it just them ? is it both? similarly. does nat see travis as someone she wants to be with while at the same time travis is acc a woman. i personally am of this standing.

thank you so much for bringing this to my attention!!! love the idea and ill keep more of an eye out for song lyrics hmm,,,,, thanks again :)

waow..... yuri......

[memberment]

morning everyone

I wasn't gonna make an update post today bc I've been like

kinda debbie downer as fuck & I'm not feeling super yappy.

but I'm literally working on Knockin' On Heaven's Door (36) and Genesis is actually almost done.

Wish me luck at work may or may not update more later<3

(2:51) I'm giggling to myself over how significant 3's and 7's were to this story before I decided to include the seven seals of the apocalypse in it. I am currently writing the seven trumpets and

LOSING MY MIND.

(8:43) Y'ALL I'M BACK FROM WORK WITH TWO NEW FIC CONCEPTS (well, one new one, one might just be implemented into a more casual fic bc the idea itself is really funny but I need an actual plot for it.)

BUT ONE OF THEM REVOLVES AROUND HALLOWEEN SO WHEN I'M DONE ALL OF MY PROJECTS ARE GETTING PUSHED BACK BC THIS IS GONNA BE SOOOOOO FUN.

(also I'm done being sad for rn I gen thought I was gonna get fired today (not at all my fault btw) but I didn't! so yippie!<3)

(9:45) guys idk if this isn't reading as ominous because Im genuinely so desensitized to all things spooky and I've been working on this for like, days straight (again) or if it's not reading as ominous because it's not.

which makes me wanna scream bc that means I'm gonna have to wait A WHILE BEFORE I LET MYSELF ACTUALLY PROPERLY REREAD THIS LMAOOOO (this is actually so annoying)

(2:27) okay so I got distracted for like three hours on this Halloween project but then decided I didn't want to write it so I'm back on Genesis....

Guys...

I didn't know exactly how I wanted the exact end sequence to happen. Like I had a lot of ideas, some I kept.

BUT WHEN I FUCKING TELL YOU GUYS.

I was cursing myself bc I'm allowed to have creative freedom and I made Wendy and Brimmy close bc I just phoned it in idk and I got in to deep to change it but I was like wait no that's stupid why did I do that but then I was like no fuck it we ball Brimmy and Wendy duo it's fine (I genuinely love them ngl, I will be writing them again)

THAT WAS THE WORST THING I COULD'VE DONE BC IT JUST MADE THE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS AT THE END THAT MUCH MORE FUCKING UPSETTING.

I don't know how to cope with this...

Oh also I'm writing 37 rn. We're at 113.5k.

I'm literally almost done. I actually feel sick LMFAOOOO

(2:38) It's not done but I just finished 37. I feel like I'm about to go into shock... I'm at 114k and IN SHOCKKKKK.

Like, I still gotta fill in a few flashbacks and finish up chapter 32, but WOW.

This is like, done. My life is ruined.

(7:05) guys pls tell me how I have just been like in giggle and kick my feet reading ff gear since I finished genesis bc I cant bear to reread and fully finish it tn

and my all of my playlists are cycling through

and Im just like reading this cute lil ff that is HEALING ME after all the shit I just put my cast through

and Baby Kia starts playing. Like my brother in christ it is 7 in the morning…

I am laughing so hard over this I had to sit up and restart one of my playlists bc I cant rn

no one needs to listen to BK at 7am

ANYWAYS after I go to bed (I lowk might stay up to finish reading this fic tho Im on 8/14 and I am NOTORIOUS for picking something up and not sleeping til I finish it if its under 100k (were not discussing this) and I am very invested) I might be MIA all day bc physics labs and my first exam are both due tm.

I probably wont be MIA all day bc I wanna start my halloween project (that all of like two people will prob find as funny as I do, and Im totally fucking fine with that bc I gencthink its so funny.)

OH AND ALSO I decided that this halloween project may be apart of the morning glory/dandelion verse but well get to that when we get there

[bmpmp3]

ive loved it since i first heard it in project diva x years ago, but listening to Tsumi no Namae again (with slightly higher quality headphone audio rather than my vita speakers <3 ) i didnt realize just how crazy the production choices of this song is. wait hold on lemme hashtag musicpost for a minute. im busting out the timestamps

immediate tone setting. bagpipes??? or something like that right out the gate which is wild. clock winding, gear crunching, and real human woman whispering (i think in english but ive never been able to find official lyrics of that section) as well <3 im a sucker for using human voices with synth voices i think it adds a lot of neat texture

the instrument choices lean into a fantasy musical-esque soundscape for obvious reason (the whole song is basically a little original fable or myth type story complete with trickster goddesses and breaking fate's curses etc etc) but the composition is plenty pop rock which is a fun juxtaposition im always a fan of but like SPECIFICALLY those drums that start around a minute in. im not sure what it is, the speed? how loud and hard the drums are? it works so well to give it a forward momentum while also being a bit uncanny. maybe im just imagining how tired the drummers arms would be hitting at that speed and with that amount of power for this long........ but yeah it gives it this unexpected, sorta otherworldly feel, like its just a fraction of a fraction faster than you'd assume. theres like hints of clapping and stuff in there too i think? so much all together but so so so good

and speaking of how tired those drummers arms would be, i do love that this song is six and a half minutes, i love stuff over 5 minutes like YES i am going to waste SO MUCH TIME staring into space and listening really hard (i like to listen to songs on loop <3 half an hour is gonna go away in just a few plays) i love love love love love it

1:38 mark THE BANJO????

1:43 ouuhhhh that we-will-rock-you-type boom-boom-bap-type clap-clap-stomp percussion. ouhhhhhh yesssssssssssssssss.

1:50 the banjo and the flute are now making out in the background. they are making out sloppy style

2:00 there's like this drum breakdown thats incredibly poppy and rock-y which also goes back to the like fun blends of instrument choice and composition

2:23 am i crazy or is there like a tiny tiny little bit of like a static sound as a piece of percussion in this quieter bit... love a mix of fantasy with digital artefacting

2:45 IS THAT A HINT OF SOME MANNER OF BASS INSTRUMENT IN MY LEFT EAR I HEAR..........

3:50 WHAT is that little sound near the right.... it sounds like one of those medieval instruments but i cant remember which one.... and the banjo has made a return

3:58 THE BASS COMING IN ON THE LEFT

4:35 okay the whole bridge section is crazy but first of all. the dynamics between the deep bass-y sounds going between the two ears.

4:40 and what on EARTH is THAT. like a glitchy static-y bit of vocals going on both sides. AND the flute-y sounding thing is going NUTS up there

4:45 and this is what always makes me lose my mind. that really REALLY deep, circular, almost string sounding instrument? is that a god damn hurdy gurdy. i dont know much about instruments can you tell...... BUT for real that like again adds this haunting, extra bit of synthetic uncannyness to the medieval fantasy fable story

5:18 WHAT is that long like droning sound. is that also bagpipes. whats that classical piece thats supposed to teach you how to differentiate the parts of an orchestra. i need to drill that in my head im fighting for my life out here. ANYWAY those background notes with also these bits of like chattering? people talking or playing?

5:24 RANDOM BIT OF MEDIEVAL VIOLIN

6:08 and ending off with the glittering little chimes.... awesome

i dunno just holy shit man. this song goes everywhere it wants to. theres a banjo.

[missingn000]

this is an incredibly random series of thoughts borne of me spinning tpg 42-4 around in my brain (as one does) i am so sorry for how disorganized this is going to get

[edit: i am so sorry for how long this got 😭😭]

“Taken over?” Nanami parrots, and he’s got a bad, bad feeling about this. “By what?”

it's so interesting that nanami uses 'what' rather than 'who' in tpg 42's first question about sukuna, because that framing kinda ties into the fact that until bullying sukuna club starts, the ff perceives him as a monster, a villain from a fairy tale -- and understandably so, because that's all his actions have shown. and this snippet reinforces this idea:

What can Nanami even say? Calling Sukuna a monster is beyond the word pointless.

because at this point, all sukuna is is the one who's nearly killed both his sons and his best friend's husband

“To hear the helpless screams of burning lungs, watching weak insects abandon others in attempt to save themselves...then of course, the really annoying ones try to save everyone.” Sukuna’s hyena grin turns bitter. “I hate heroes.”

OOOOH this is interesting. hold on im gonna talk/theorize more about this later

so. in 42 and 43, all we see are what sukuna says and does, tying into him being mostly framed as either a monster or a comic relief-type character/the butt of the joke; there are hints of sukuna's Tragic Backstory present, but they're fairly vague so far

and then. 44. aka the one where we actually get into sukuna's head. before i even begin pointing out specific quotes, it's so interesting how you've managed to completely flip the readers' perceptive on sukuna, from something that matches the ff's to a more nuanced? view, where the effects of the tragedy that made him who he is today are more clearly visible

Sukuna is stronger than him, of course, and their circumstances aren’t entirely alike, but they’re similar enough to make Sukuna’s skin crawl. And it’s not even his own skin.   The man is too naive. If he ain’t careful, history’s gonna repeat itself.

this terrifies me, but it's also making me think of some of the Backstory Theories from the tpg discord hmmmmmmm [sound of thoughts bouncing around my brain like the dvd logo]

‘He’s here! Everyone run! I’ll hold him off!’ ‘But you’ll die!’ ‘Just go!’

OHHHHHH this reminds me of this quote from getou pov in tpg 22:

‘Please,’ one of them had begged, clutching the hem of his crimson-soaked pants. ‘You can kill me, but please spare my son--’

which i think is particularly interesting for two reasons: 1) getou and sukuna parallels 2) idk if this was intentional (knowing you it probably was) but a significant portion of getou's arc past that point ^ has to do with his son, and his own concept of son-hood (is that a word 💀) in regards to both his birth parents and touji. is it possible that sukuna's backstory/future character development has to do with the concept of heroism?

DONT APOLOGIZEEEE I LOVE LONG COMMENTS AND LONG MESSAGES AND EVERYTHING especially when it's about sukuna. i could deadass talk about him for DAYS and it wouldnt be enough. hes my special.

anyway--

you hit on a lot of interesting points here!! framing sukuna as "what" rather than "who" in nanami's first question was deliberate, a way to contrast how unexpected sukuna's incarnation was. "who" usually indicates some degree of sentience or personification, something almost every curse severely lacks. so right off the bat, the fam wasn't ready for what was about to befall them.

nanami's perception of sukuna is exceptionally bad, especially since his sons were sukuna's major victims. but he realized that in order for toge to stop being afraid of his own brother, a somewhat, uh, unconventional approach would be necessary: thus, bullying sukuna club was born.

it's also important to note that despite treating him like a joke and laughing at his dramatic, violent declarations, the fam actually does still very much see him as a monster. they're doing this because they know it's the only way they can actually get to him, especially since fear and others' terrified perceptions of him are part of what makes him so damn strong. so they laugh at him because it's far better than the alternative -- that said, if one doesn't think about the fact that he's actually carried out the atrocities he colorfully monologues about, they are kinda funny.

.......aaaand then we see the inside of sukuna's head and realize oh no, this is an incredibly self-aware, sad, wet man who desperately needs a hug but would kill (almost) anyone who actually tried to give him one. yet there are still traces of that monster in his thoughts, since that's what Tragic Backstory made him become.

also aughh yeah, getou and sukuna parallels were DEFINITELY intentional. those two have a lot in common, and as 43 revealed there are many parallels with gojo too. you were right to pick up on the notes of sukuna's revulsion towards heroics: perhaps it's something he struggled with in the past. we shall see.......

while getou's redemption arc had much to do with atonement, i'd say sukuna's is about healing. this man has really, really been thru it. sometimes i wonder if his backstory is too sad but at this point we're in too deep

[metalatias5]

Ich habe 68 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

Das sind 43 more posts als 2021!

62 Einträge erstellt (91%)

6 Einträge gerebloggt (9%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@metalatias5

@metalatias

@metalatiasgravityfalls

@pra370r1an

Ich habe 66 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

Nur 3% meiner Einträge hatten keine Tags

#meta – 61 Einträge

#metalatias – 61 Einträge

#metalatias5 – 61 Einträge

#metathetrifox – 57 Einträge

#toh – 46 Einträge

#the owl house – 46 Einträge

#hunter – 29 Einträge

#golden guard – 26 Einträge

#gus – 20 Einträge

#tricerafox – 19 Einträge

Longest Tag: 112 characters

#and i have caused a bottle to spray all over myself like that before due to dropping it on the corner of a table

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

Aladarius with a self-indulgent happy flap-ador and my witchsona Jacky with the smug little expression of young Eda from Them's The Breaks Kid

122 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 27. September 2022

#4

The return of 'Hunter and Gus get really into MLP' 

Totally not just an excuse to draw Hunter in a too-small MLP shirt (Yes, it is and it was actually inspired by this little scene from Playing With Fire)

https://youtu.be/J9ngUgrV5Go

Also Hunter not having a belly button is just another little fun Grimwalker weirdness headcanon and this was a good opportunity to show that off ;)

195 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 15. Juli 2022

#3

I’ve been rewatching some HLVRAI again lately and since I’m still pretty deep into TOH I made Hexsquad dress up because of it

We’ve got Vee as Darnold, Gus as Tommy, Hunter as Bubby, Willow as Dr Coomer, Luz as Gordon Freeman and Amity as- uhm, I mean The Collector as Benrey

Looks like the Collector took Amity’s place there, he’s a better fit for Benrey anyway I suppose, wonder what he did with Amity though...

Oh, right, she’s playing Sunkist now

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

197 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 24. September 2022

#2

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

290 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 3. November 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

A clean-freak and his beloved slobs~

This was my first time drawing Darius, Eberwolf and Alador and I really like how they turned out, though Darius was harder to draw than I expected

413 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 26. Juni 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 ���

[relativelydimensional]

I posted 3,498 times in 2022

That's 107 more posts than 2021!

55 posts created (2%)

3,443 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rythyme

@angrybi-king

@talesofwhalesandflowerpots

@sicklizardmeme

@frumpybutsupersmart

I tagged 2,187 of my posts in 2022

Only 37% of my posts had no tags

#bad buddy - 247 posts

#the untamed - 151 posts

#kinnporsche - 105 posts

#star trek tos - 71 posts

#not me - 62 posts

#untamed fanart - 52 posts

#our flag means death - 52 posts

#&lt;3 - 43 posts

#spirk - 42 posts

#merthur - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i also fully believe that cql future timeline lwj would just stand there without saying anything until one of the juniors started crying lm

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hi so i started the devil judge the other day and this is the sexiest gay gothic romance i've ever experienced

170 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#4

Hi I just have some thoughts about Bad Buddy, because I've kind of come to the realisation recently that it has –and I'm not exaggerating when I say this– changed me as a person.

I am an enemies to lovers hoe, or at least I thought I was one until I watched bad buddy. I feel like the central appeal to enemies to lovers is this idea that someone could see the worst parts of you and love you anyway, in spite of those flaws or maybe because of them. And I think bad buddy gets to the core of that want, which when you boil it down is a desire to be known.

Pat and Pran are set up like enemies, rival families and friends groups; forced to compete at school, in sports and music, even at......being uni students? Their relationship for most of their lives depends on them being the worst versions of themselves with each other. It's kind of the perfect set up for enemies to lovers. But where bad buddy differs is it isn't enemies to lovers, because patpran aren't enemies. They're best friends. Best friends to the point when even when they 'break up' Pran says THIS

and like that really fuckin sends me over the edge into unhinged territory gang?!?!? like even with every other aspect of their lives stacked up against them, the fact that they're friends is just a completely unshakable concept for them both!!!!!!

like they love each other sure but they also LIKE EACHOTHER im feral

P'Aof is really just a healing presence lmao like he was like 'hi oh you like enemies to lovers? you poor , thing, come closer i'll let you in on a secret, you can be truely known and loved and you're allowed that'

Literally since this encounter i have not known peace, i havent even breathed near the enermies to lovers tag on ao3 im ONLY reading friends to lovers or old married couple fics and its entirely this shows fault

232 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

#3

that awkward moment when your dad barges into your sex dungeon to yell at you for not doing your chores properly 😞

387 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#2

Misfits (2010) / Umbrella Academy (2022)

482 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Porshay: how to do I write a song?

Kim: oh writing a song? Word. It's easy! You need to get..... Your brothers social security number...... And give it....... To me.

1,117 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[keefwho]

July 13 - 2023 Thursday

7:17 AM

Really hating myself right now. I’m not appreciating the way I keep using my problems and emotions to manipulate others into showing me sympathy under the guise of “wanting to be cared about.” I don’t want to close myself off but the only good solution I can see is to keep things to myself more. It feels like the only way to keep any friendship in tact. 

And so what if I feel alone. So what if I stop hoping for connection with others. Its my fault I feel this way despite supposedly having people that care about me. It’s my fault I don’t feel anything. I shouldn’t be taking it out on anyone but myself. Deep down I still feel like someone that doesn’t deserve compassion anyways so why am I still so obsessed with chasing it? It’s selfish of me until I can truly appreciate it. 

I still feel like a burden to all so I don’t feel right initiating contact, as much as I want to. I’m afraid to be like “Hey wanna hang out? :)” only for them to say yes just to placate me and will be relieved when they are rid of me. Maybe it’s selfish of me to think that I have that much gravity over their feelings. But I don’t feel welcome anywhere. 

8:02 AM

If no one else cares about my problems then maybe I’m not meant to either. Maybe things are only issues when I treat them like one. 

8:43 AM

I hope I feel better for my party tomorrow. Chances are I won’t, but I’ll be holding it either way. Maybe it’ll cheer up.

I feel so stupid thinking I could be cared about in the way that I want. 

9:44 AM

What I’m currently going through is coping with the loss of something I never had to begin with. I’ve lived such a giant fantasy for so long. 

3:43 PM

I’m afraid to attach to anyone. Even just as friends. I always end up expecting from them and pushing them away when they don’t deliver. It’s a me problem, I know that. I don’t know if I expect too much or haven’t found the right people. I’m banking on my expectations being too high. Or maybe the kind of comradery I’m after really isn’t common. 

Deep down I feel it’s all my problem. I’m the one thats not right and I’m the one messing up everything. I mean that. I think maybe I don’t know how to handle relationships correctly on some fundamental level. Maybe that comes from fear or trust issues. 

5:55 PM

Here I go succumbing to my thoughts again. I just don’t have a good enough opinion of myself to do anything. I can’t talk to anyone because I’m afraid they will lie about be okay with me around or doing something with them. I cannot believe anyone wants me. On top of it all my stomach has not been cooperating because of how upset and stressed I’ve been about everything. I’m in such despair and it’s only been getting worse as time goes on. 

Its no wonder I have trouble getting people to like me, I got nothing going for me. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t know what I like. I don’t know whats meaningful to me beyond maybe 2 things. I’m not my own person so I have nothing to bounce back with. I’m not interesting at all. I have to work on being a person worth liking. 

6:21 PM

Maybe no matter how I feel, I have to keep giving to people I love. Maybe it’ll click eventually that I’m loved back. 

Im always so deep in my own head. I can’t see things for what they really are. 

10:53 PM

I’m currently out of my own head because of the words and reassurance of my friend Daisy. More or less I was able to snap out of some of the things I was thinking about, the big problem being the overthinking of everything. Also with my true desires, they can be as simple as wanting what I want. I’m trying not to overthink about my recovery though, I’d rather just enjoy it. 

I also have the question of writing that daily recap which feels boring but even if I don’t want to do it, I know future me will thank me for taking the time to document my life briefly. Although I did barely anything of note today. I stuck to my schedule fairly well with the exception of not doing my whole treadmill workout because I just didn’t have the mental or physical strength. This afternoon and evening was a bust. I tried getting in VR for a little but my stomach has been upset due to stress and I wasn’t feeling like I could genuinely talk to anyone so I gave up. The rest of the evening was spent watching MoonMoon play House Flipper which was a pretty chill time. Then I had that much needed chat with Daisy. 

I’m realizing now that obsessive thinking is one of those control strategies. In small doses, rationalizing is good but I’ve been doing it absolutely non stop. Thinking about my mental pathways and the effect everything has on me all the time is clearly not working, it just consumes energy and stresses me out even more. I think it wise to step back a little bit and try to take it easy. 

[yelenasdog]

𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔴𝔬 𝔩𝔢𝔤𝔰 (𝔡𝔢𝔡𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬…) 𝔟𝔶 𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔢𝔫

(click for better quality bc tumblr sucks)

[pepprs]

imagine not having homework

[zee-stars]

Prompt list!

Any prompt from this list can be used for requests. You can use as many as you could like! (Might add more as I go along.)

Also this account has amazing prompts and I did take some from there so I would like to give credit

Dialog:

1. “you two would make such a cute couple!”

2. “there’s someone here to see you..”

3. “isn’t this the part where we kiss..?”

4. “i don’t care what they do, they can hang out with whoever they want.” “right. even if it’s (name)?” “come again?”

5. "Hands off!"

6. “do you believe in soulmates?”

7. “i don’t believe that for a second.”

8. “you’re mine.”

9. "Is that my shirt?"

10. “what do i need to do to prove my love?”

11. “why are you so warm?”

12. “you look better in it anyway.”

13. "Can I kiss you?"

14. “i think im falling in love with you and it terrifies me.”

15. “i said it once, and i’ll say it again: i don’t care.”

16. “don’t fucking touch what’s not yours.”

17. “sorry, your eyes distracted me, what were you saying?”

18. “you shouldn’t be awake right now.” “okay, hypocrite.”

19. "i don’t know if i can just be friends with you anymore.”

20. “why would i do that?” “out of the kindness of your heart..?”

21. “i thought you didn’t have feelings for me?”

22. "Who's shirt is that?"

23. "There's this new thing, it's called knocking."

24. “if we get caught.. im blaming you.”

25. “im not scheming, im thinking.”

26. "Same thing."

27. “sorry, i didn’t mean to walk in on.. whatever this is..”

28. “admit it; you’re addicted to me.”

29. “that’s not what i meant and you know it!”

30. "Look what we have here.."

31. "Come on, I'll carry you."

32. "I know I shouldn't, but I'm falling in love with you."

33. "'Just friends' don't do this."

34. “their pupils literally turn into hearts when they look at you!”

35. “i know you’re in pain, but there’s an ice cream truck outside right now. What flavor do you want?"

36. “i think you’re drunk.”

37. “that wasn’t a dream!?”

38. “i think i could fall in love with you.” “don’t.”

39. "They don't forget anything." "They literally forgot how to open a door yesterday."

40. “oh my god, they know my name.”

41. “Good morning buttface” “Good morning to you too, dickhead"

42. “Do you want food?” “It’s 3 am.” "answer the question dipshit."

43. “Can you play with my hair?”

44. “I accept apologies in kisses and hugs”

45. “I know it’s 2 in the morning but do you want to...”

46. “This is not what I meant when I told you to fall for me.”

47. “(She’s/he’s/they’re) worth the wait.”

48. “Will you just hold still for the picture?”

49. "Do you ever for a single moment, use your head when making decisions?"

50. "How could you not be in love with yourself? Have you looked in the mirror?"

Fluff:

Allowing partner to sleep in on their day off cause their overworked.

wiping frosting (or something) off their their lips (maybe a kiss after)

smiling across the table when their cheeks are full of food and they look cute

one watching the other talk/do something their really passionate about with a lovesick smile

hugs from behind while cooking

One person falls asleep while the other is talking and the other doesn't notice at first.

one sees the others notebook filled with doodles and drawings of them.

one giving someone a deadly glare from over the others shoulder while they are talking to them.

getting called boyfriend/girlfriend/partner for the first time

first I love you

first kiss

one holding the others hand as they lead them through a crowd

painting a room together.

leaving notes in lunchbox

one having to help the other reach something from a higher shelf/ helping them put something away

getting ready for bed together

doing everything to get the others attention

stealing the others clothes

looking at something over the others shoulder

making food together

sitting on the others lap

doing the others hair/fixing it randomly

dancing randomly together

cleaning the others injury

one laying their head on the others lap

one guiding the other with a hand on the middle of their back

taking photos of them randomly throughout the day

one bending down to talk to the other who is shorter.

one helping the other get ready for the day

one is a morning person, the other is not

Angst:

one dropping a glass and is triggered and the other comforts them and tells them its okay

one having a rough day and the other just sitting there with their arms wrapped around them in silence.

one noticing the other is acting different and confronts them

one leaving without telling the other and they find out through other people

one accidentally snaps at the other

one gets jealous and takes it too far

one sacrificing themselves for the other.

one accidentally getting to focused on work and ignoring the other

one finds a new scar on the others body that wasn't there before.

keeping secrets one thinks is for the better but the other gets upset when they find out

[snake-rot]

(EXCLAIMING)

(ORCHESTRA MUSIC BLARING)

(GROANS)

(WHIMPERS)

(GRUNTING)

(MYSTICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS)

(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(COUGHS)

Sweet home Alabama

Where the skies are so blue

WOMAN: Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?

Sweet home Alabama

(GRUNTING)

Lord, I'm coming home to you

(GRUNTS) Justin!

Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

Yeah

Justin, you get back here right now!

No, stop!

GUARD 1: No, no, no! Stop him! GUARD 2: Go back! Don't climb!

(JUSTIN IMITATING AIRPLANE WHOOSHING)

Wait, wait.

Hold on. Easy, little boy.

Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!

(GASPS)

No, no, no, no, no! Oh! There he goes.

(GASPS)

Justin!

I've got him! I've got him!

(JUSTIN GRUNTS)

(AIR ESCAPING)

Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered

that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen

and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.

There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens

try to protect their beloved landmarks.

Law enforcement still has no leads,

leaving everyone to wonder, which of the world's villains

is responsible for this heinous crime?

And where will he strike next?

Gru: Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray! [laughs evilly] Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing? Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard, and I don't appreciate it. Fred: Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they wanna go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one. Fred: Okay. Yeah. Steamrolling whatever Gru: [groans] You've got to be pulling on my leg! Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale. Gru: Go away. I'm not home. Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you. Gru: [gasps] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording. Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't. Gru: Yes, it is. [o.s.] Watch this. Leave a message, beep. [Edith kicks the door] Gru: Ow! Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message. Margo: [o.s.] Agnes, come on. Gru: Huh? [screams] Kyle! Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario. Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I, too, have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats. Gru: What? What happened? Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid. They're saying he makes all other villains look... lame. pause Gru: Assemble the minions! [throws Kyle off of his arm] Minions, assemble! Minion: Okay. Okay. Hey! Gru: Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good? All right. That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry? Hello, everybody! Yeah, all right! Simmer down. Simmer down! Thank you, okay. Now, I realize that you guys probably heard about this other villain who stole the pyramids. Apparently, it's a big deal. People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that. But am I upset? No, I am not! A little, but we have had a pretty good year ourselves, and you guys are all right in my book. Minion: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Gru: No, no raises! You're not going to get any raises. What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice! That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? But that's not all. We stole the Statue of Liberty, the small one from Las Vegas. And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas. Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet, but I have been working on something very big! Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water! And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr. Nefario... Dr. Nefario: Thank you! Gru: There he is. He's stylin'. Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the 'true crime of the century. We are going to steal... The Minions all pull out their weapons in response. Gru: Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet. One of the Minions, Dave, shoots his rocket launcher at a crowd of Minions. Gru: Hey. Dave, listen up, please! Dave: Ditto. One of the Minions Dave shot walks over to him and punches him on the shoulder. Gru: Next, we are going to steal, pause for effect, the moon! The Minions cheer in response. Gru: And once the moon is mine, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back! And I will be the greatest villain of all time! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. [picks up his phone] Yes? Dr. Nefario: Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers, and I really don't see how we can afford this. It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker. Gru:Hey, chillax. I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me! Margo: Edith, stop it! Edith: What? I'm just walking. Girls: Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back. Miss Hattie: Hello, girls! Agnes: Anybody come to adopt us while we were out? Miss Hattie: Hmm... Let me think. No! Edith immediately puts a mud pie on Miss Hattie's desk, much to her displeasure. Miss Hattie: Edith! What did you put on my desk? Edith: A mud pie. Miss Hattie: [sighs] You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you? Edith: Yeah, I know. Miss Hattie: Good. So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas? Margo: Hmm... Sorta. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies and 18 coco-nutties. Miss Hattie: [gets up] Okay.

Well, you say that like it's a great sale day. [furious] Look at my face! Do you still think it's a great sale day? Edith rolls her eyes in response. Miss Hattie: [hangs up a portrait] Eighteen coco-nutties. I think we can do a little better than that, don't you? Yeah. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No. Girls: No, Miss Hattie. Miss Hattie: Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine. Girls: Hi, Penny. Penny: Hi, guys. Gru: Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but... Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who's actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something that's very, very big, very important. When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud. Gru's Mom: Ha! [sarcastically] Good luck with that. Okay, I'm outta here. [hangs up the phone before sending her karate instructor flying] Gru: Gru to see Mr Perkins Receptionist: Yes, please have a seat. Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Young Gru: Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon. Gru's Mom: I'm afraid you're too late, Son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more. Vector: Hey. I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, 'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah! Check out my new weapon. Piranha gun! Oh, yes! Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it. Do you want a demonstration? Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my... Receptionist: Mr Gru, Mr Perkins will see you now. Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket. And then, the moon is ours. Perkins: Wow! Well, very nice presentation. I'd like to see this shrink ray. Gru: Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it. Perkins: You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money? Gru: Apparently. Perkins: Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru? With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit. How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back... Get the picture? Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there, younger than you, hungrier than you, younger than you. Like that young fellow out there named Vector. He just stole a pyramid! Gru: I've got it. I've got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket... Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk. Minion: Suckers! Suckers! Gru: We got it! What? Hey! Hey! What! Hey! No, no, no! You! Vectors: Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru! Gru: Quick! We can't let him get away! Up ahead! Up ahead! Fire! Fire, now! Vector: You missed me! Gru: Come to papa! Take that. Vector: How adorable. Gru: Got you in our sights! Like taking candy from a... What? Vector: Hey, Gru! Try this on for size! Gru: That's weird. What is going... This is claustrophobic! No, no, no! Too small! This is too small for me! [groans] I hate that guy. Margo: ...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep. Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears and lay eggs in our brains. Margo: Great. Thanks for that image, Edith. Agnes: And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn. Amen. Margo/Edith: Amen. Agnes: Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them Uni, uni, unicorns I love them Uni, unicorns, I could pet one If they were really real And they are So, I bought one so I could pet it Now it loves me Now I love it Gru: Don't you... What the... Good luck, little girls! Edith: Whoa! Cool. Margo: Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls. Vector: I don't care. Beat it! Margo: Come on! We're selling

cookies so, you know, we can have a better future. Vector: Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties? Margo: Yeah. Gru: Light bulb. Dr Nefario! I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies! Dr. Nefario: What? Gru: Cookie robots! Dr. Nefario: Who is this? - Gru: Oh, forget it. Mrs. Hattie: Well, it appears you have cleared our background check, Dr Gru. And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements. Thank you for that. I love reading. And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor and a knighthood. - Minions: Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Minion: Kevin? Mrs. Hattie: You had your own cooking show and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It's not that impressive. Minion: Idiot! - Minions: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Mrs Hattie: What in the name of... What? Gru: Well, here's the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I'm sorry. You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish? Mrs. Hattie: Do I look like I speak Spanish? Gru: You have a face como un burro. Mrs. Hattie: Well, thank you! Gru: Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption? So, so excited! Mrs. Hattie: Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby. Margo: I bet the mom is beautiful! Edith: I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle. Agnes: I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears. [Edith and Margo look at her curiously] I'm just saying it'd be nice. [picks up a Cheeto] Aww. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly. Edith: That's a Cheeto. Agnes: Oh... [eats said Cheeto, making Edith and Margo recoil in disgust] Miss Hattie: Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman. [pause] Gru: Who's Debbie? Mrs Hattie: Your wife. Hi, girls! Girls, I want you to meet Mr Gru. He's going to adopt you. And he's a dentist! Agnes: Yeah! Margo: Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith. And that's Agnes. Agnes: [sing-song] I got your leg, I got your leg! Gru: Okay, that is enough, little girl. Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it. Agnes: Higher! Higher! Gru: Just release your grip. Wow! How do you remove them? Is there a command? Some nonstick spray? Crowbar? [sighs] Okay, girls, let's go. [They drove off in the distance.]Vector: Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Pretty impressive! What are you looking at? Boo-ya! You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash! Take that! You done been shrunk! (His phone rings) Yello? I got the shrink ray, all right. No, I'm not playing with it. Gru? Don't make me laugh! No. P.S., he is not getting the moon, and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him, he's gonna be begging for mercy. (Shrinks a toilet) Okay, bye. (Hangs up) Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby to... [The toilet pops out and water sprays him.]Vector: Curse you, tiny toilet! [Gru and the Girls arrive at Gru's Home.] Gru: "Okay, here we are. Home sweet home. Margo: So... This is, like, your house? [realizing] Wait a sec... You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message! Gru: No, that was someone else. [Margo gives a skeptical look before she, Edith and Agnes enter Gru's house, with Gru following suite.] Agnes: [scared] Can I hold your hand? Gru: Uh... No. Edith: [looks around] When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like "Annie". Gru: No, hey! [screams] Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my... Dog. Kyle snarls in anger. Agnes: Ooh! Fluffy doggy! [approaches Kyle before he runs away, much to her disappointment] Margo: What kind of dog is that? Gru: He is a... I don't know. Margo: Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids? 'Cause, uh... It's not. [Edith sees a closet that is sharp and goes in it.] Gru: No! No! Stay away from there! It's frag... [He sees juice spilling on the floor.]Both: (Gasps) Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [muffled] Hey! It's dark in here. [Gru opens the iron maiden, revealing Edith, who spits out a straw]Edith: It poked a hole in my juice box. [They went to the

kitchen.] Gru: As you can see, I have provided everything a child might need. All right. Okay. As I was saying... (Edith knocked a bottle down) Gru: (Cont'd) Hey! Oh. Edith: Somebody broke that. Gru: "Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one. You will not touch anything. Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor? Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor. Margo: What about the air? Gru: Yes, you may touch the air! Edith: (Gets out a laser gun) What about this? Gru: (Screams) Where did you get that? Edith: [shrugs] Found it. Gru: Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three. You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right? Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [popping] Gru: Very! [sighs] I will see you in six hours. Margo: Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes? Gru: Question. What are these? Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots! Boogie! Look at this. Watch me! Gru: Cookie robots. I said cookie robots. Why are you so old? Dr. Nefario: Okay. I'm on it. Margo: Hello? Agnes: TV! Margo: What is that? Edith: Whoa! That is cool! Come on! Agnes: I don't think he's a dentist.Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this for a while. It's a anti-gravity serum. I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure. Gru: Do the effects wear off? Dr. Nefario: So far, no. No, they don't. And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. Gru: No, no. I said "dart gun," not... Okay. Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this? But, anyway. What I really wanted to show you was this. Gru: Now those are cookie robots! Agnes: La, la, la, la I love unicorns Gru: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen! Margo: We got bored. What is this place? Edith: Can I drink this? Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode? [Edith kicks him in the shin] Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Get back in the kitchen! Agnes: Will you play with us? Gru: No. Agnes: Why? Gru: Because I'm busy. Margo: [scoffs] Doing what? Gru: Umm... Okay, okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody, because if you do... Edith: What does this do? [She fires a laser and it hits Agnes's unicorn and it burns to ashes]Gru: Hey! Edith: Whoops. Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it. Gru: Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes gasps in shock, then starts holding her breath] Gru: That's freaking me out. What is she doing? Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one. Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy. Now stop it! (Agnes faints) Gru: Okay, okay! I'll fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy. Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy! Go, and hurry! What are those? Gru: They are my... Cousins. Jerry! Stuart! Watch them and keep them away from me please. [The three minions put on a disguise and head to the store.]Minions: Wow!- Wow! [Meanwhile the two minions and the girls are tossing toilet paper at each other. Gru comes up and he sees the Girls and the two minions having fun.]Edith: It was your cousin's idea. Jerry: What? Gru: Okay, bedtime. Girls: Aww... Minions: Aww... Gru: Not you two! Minions: Yay. Gru: Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams. Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad. Gru: I think I can live with that. Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs? Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn. Edith: "Cool." Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?" Gru: No. Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story. Gru: Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. And there's probably something in your closet. Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes. Agnes: It's beautiful. Gru: Girls, let's go.

Time to deliver the cookies! Margo: Okay. But first, we're going to dance class. Gru: Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today. Margo: Actually, we can't skip the dance class today. We have a big recital coming up. We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Agnes: Yeah, Swan Lake! Gru: That's fantastic. Wonderful. But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on! Margo: No. Gru: No? Margo: We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class. Really? Gru: Well, I am not driving you to dance class. So if you want to go, you are going to have to walk yourselves. What are you doing? Margo: Walking to dance class. Gru: Ya? Okay, fine. You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you! Margo: Okay. Gru: You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru! Seriously, I'm going to count to three! And you had better be in this car! Here we go! One! Two! Teacher: ...three, four and five. And lift, and stretch. And one, and two... Agnes: Here you go. Gru: What is it? Agnes: Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right? Gru: Of course, of course. I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on. Agnes: Pinkie promise? Gru: Oh, yes. My pinkie promises. All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector. Margo: But he's a V. You know, we're supposed to start with the A's. Then we go to the B's. Then we... Gru: Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works! I was just thinking that it might be nice to deliver Mr Vector's first. That is all. Almost over. It's almost over. Vector: Girls, welcome back to the fortress of Vector-tude! Do you have my cookies for me? Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties. Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me. Margo: That'll be $52. Vector: Right. Seven, eight, nine... Tic Tacs! Where was I? Seven, eight, nine... Agnes: Why are you wearing pyjamas? Vector: These aren't pyjamas! This is a warm-up suit. Edith: What are you warming up for? Vector: Stuff. Agnes: What sort of stuff? Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand. Agnes: Like sleeping? Vector: They are not pyjamas! Here you go, 52 big ones. Bye! Gru: Come on! Vector: What the...? Quiet down, fish. Down, boy!Gru: [laughs] We did it! Come on, girls, let's go! Margo: But what about the other people who ordered cookies? Gru: Life is full of disappointments... For some people. [chuckles ominously] Agnes: (Screams) Gru: Don't do that! Agnes: Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please? Gru: No. Edith: But we've never been. And it's the funnest place on earth! Gru: "Don't care." Girls: Please? Please? We'll never ask for anything else, ever again! Pretty please? Please? Come on! Come on! Gru: "Light bulb." Edith: Come on! Gru: "Goodbye, have fun. [He began to leave. But a attendant of the roller coaster stopped him.]Carnival Ride Worker: Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult. Gru: What? [groans] [Soon Gru gets sick from the roller coaster ride.]Agnes: Oh, my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die! Margo: You've gotta let us play for it! Gru: No, no, no. Agnes: Come on! Gru: How much for the fluffy unicorn?Carnival Barker: Well, it is not for sale. But all you gotta do to win it is knock down that little spaceship there. It's easy! Agnes: Yay! Again! Margo: Wait! Edith: Come on. One more time! Agnes: Just one more. I accidentally closed my eyes. I hit it! I hit it! Edith: That was cool. Awww. Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.Carnival Barker: Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! Gru: Okay, my turn. [Gru uses a fire gun and it blows up the whole booth.]Gru: "Knocked over!" Agnes: It's so fluffy! Yeah! Margo: That was

awesome! Edith: You blew up the whole thing! Agnes: Let's go. Let's try another game!Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word? Gru: Okay, girls, go play. I got the shrink ray! Cotton candy! Dr. Nefario: We have 12 days until the moon is in optimum position. We can't afford any distractions! Gru: Get me Perkins. Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! Mr. Perkins: What? Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon. I grab the moon. I sit on the toi-let. What? (girls start laughing) Sorry. Sorry! Could you excuse me for just one second? I told you not to touch my things. I told you, I told you. I've told you a thousand times. Margo: Hey, can we order pizza? Gru: Pizza? You just had lunch. Edith: Not now, for dinner. Gru: Dinner? Just... Fine, fine, fine, whatever. Just get back in there! Margo: Can we get stuffed crust? Agnes and Jerry: Stuffed crust!Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust! Agnes: [giggles] You're funny! Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! All right. Sorry about that. Where were we? Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet. Gru: No, no, no! No, I'm sorry. It was a little attempt at humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins glares at him] Inside. Eh, now, I was saying... [the door suddenly opens] You don't seem terribly focused, Gru. Believe me, I am completely focused. Right? Edith: Hello! Mr. Perkins: What? Edith: That guy is huge! Agnes: Are we on TV? Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?Gru: What are you doing? I told you to stay out of here! No, no, no! *Agnes: Freeze ray!Mr. Perkins: Mr Gru? Gru: Okay. As I was saying... Mr. Perkins: No need to continue. I've seen quite enough. Gru: But my plan... Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan. I love everything about your plan, except for one thing. You. Young Gru: Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! Look, Mom, I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! Look, Mom, I made a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype! Gru: I don't understand. Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a... Well, a younger villain. Gru: But I... Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. Gru: Now, I know there have been some rumours going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumours to rest. They are true. In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear. We won't. We are doomed. Now would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know. I have fired up my resume as I suggest that all of you do, as well. What is it? Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk? Yes! Yes, we will build our own rocket using this and whatever else we can find! Grab everything! Hit the junkyards! Take apart the cars! Who needs the bank? Let's go. Let's go! Mom! What are you doing here? Gru's Mom: And here he is in the bathtub. Look at his little buns. Gru: Mom. Not cool. Gru's Mom: And here, he's all dressed up in his Sunday best. Margo: He looks like a girl! Gru's Mom: Yes, he does. An ugly girl! Agnes: You're funny! Edith: Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy! Receptionist: Mr. Perkins, your son is here. Mr. Perkins: Send him in. Vector: Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me? Mr. Perkins: Yes, I did, Victor. - Vector: I am not Victor anymore. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector! Mr. Perkins: Sit down. Do you know where the shrink ray is? Vector: Duh! Back at my place. Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? That's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that looks exactly like it! Vector: What the...?! Those girls sold me cookies! Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be? I give you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you just blow it! Vector: No, I didn't. Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?Vector: You just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah! Man:

There's a squid on my face!Vector: Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours. Gru: Come on now, it's bedtime. Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell. Let me smell. You did not! Put on your PGs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it! Edith: But we're not tired! Gru: Well, I am tired. Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story? [pause] Gru: No. Agnes: Pretty please? Gru: The physical appearance of the "please" makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep. Edith: But we can't. We're all hyper! Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you. All night long. Gru: [sighs] Fine. All right, all right. Sleepy Kittens. Sleepy Kittens? What are these? Agnes: Puppets. You use them when you tell the story. Gru: Okay, let's get this over with. "Three little kittens loved to play, they had fun in the sun all day. "Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed."' Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this? Agnes: Keep reading! Edith: Come on! Gru: All right, all right, all right. "Three little kittens started to bawl, "'Mommy, we're not tired at all.' "Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "'Fine, but at least you should brush your fur."' Edith: Now you brush the fur. Gru: This is literature? A 2-year-old could have written this. All right. "Three little kittens with fur all brushed "said, 'We can't sleep, we feel too rushed! ' "Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "'Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."' Agnes: Now make them drink the milk. Gru: I don't like this book. This is going on forever. "Three little kittens, with milk all gone, rubbed their eyes and started to yawn. "'We can't sleep, we can't even try.' Then their mother sang a lullaby. "'Good night kittens, close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise. "'Though while you sleep, we are apart, "'your mommy loves you with all her heart."' The end. Okay, good night. Agnes: Wait! Gru: What? Agnes: What about good night kisses? Gru: No, no. There will be no kissing or hugging or kissing. Margo: He is not gonna kiss us good night, Agnes. Agnes: I like him. He's nice.Edith: [turns off her light] But scary. Like Santa! Dr. Nefario: Only 48 hours till the launch, and all systems are go. Gru: About that, I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist. Dr. Nefario: Please tell me this is not as a result of the girls' dance recital, is it? Gru: No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right? Dr. Nefario: Gru, you and I have been working on this for years. It's everything we've dreamed of. Your chance to make history, become the man who stole the moon! But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go. If you don't do something about it, then I will. Gru: I understand. Dr. Nefario: Good. Minion: Butt. Butt. Butt. Gru: All right. Now, when we put our cups together, we will make the "clink" sound with our mouths. Ready? Edith? Gru: and Edith: Clink. Gru: There we go. And now we drink. And Agnes? Gru and Agnes: Clink. Gru: Very good! Excuse me, girls. Girls: Come on! Gru: Don't worry, I'll be back. Keep clinking. - Clink, clink. - Clink, clink.Gru: Miss Hattie, what are you doing here? Miss Hattie: I'm here for the girls. I received a call that you wanted to return them. [Gru gives her a quizzical look] And also, I did purchase a Spanish dictionary. [swats Gru's head with the dictionary] I didn't like what you said. Gru: But... I will get the girls ready. Agnes: Don't let her take us, Mr. Gru! Tell her you wanna keep us. Mrs. Hattie: All right, girls. Come on, let's go. Margo: Goodbye, Mr. Gru. Thanks for everything. Dr. Nefario: I did it for your own good. Come on, let's go get that moon. Gru: Right. What is this for? The recital? I am the greatest criminal mind of the century. I don't go to little girls' dance recitals! Dr. Nefario: Opening launch bay

doors. Commencing launch sequence. And we are good to go in T minus 10 seconds. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... Vector: Oh, yeah! Gru: Nice work, Doctor. All systems go. Vector: Boo-ya! My flight suit. Oh, yeah! Once again, the mighty... Gru: I've got it! I've got the moon! I've got the moon. I can make it. Dr. Nefario: Wait a minute! Jerry: Kevin! Gru: Come on! Come on! Agnes: He's still not here. Margo: Why would he come? He gave us up. Agnes: But he pinkie promised! Teacher: Girls, girls, places. Edith: No, we can't start yet! We're still expecting someone. Agnes: Can we just wait a few more minutes? Teacher: All right. But just a few more minutes. Margo: He's not coming, guys. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru, can you hear me? Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!Gru: Okay, okay. There's the library. That's Third Street. The dance studio... There! There! There it is! Janitor: Sorry, buddy. Show's over.Gru: Over? Gru: Vector, open up! Vector: First give me the moon. Then we'll talk. Agnes: Mr. Gru! Vector: Zip it, Happy Meal. Gru: Now, the girls. Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold on to them a little while longer. Gru: No! Vector: Oh, yeah! Unpredictable! Gru: Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain! Vector: [laughs sarcastically] I'm really scared. Agnes: He is gonna kick your butt. Vector: What? He punched my shark! Dr. Nefario: There he is! Hang on, Gru. Oh, no! Gru: Vector has the girls. Go! Dr. Nefario: What happened to the ship? It's big again! Not as big as the moon is going to be! Gru: What? Dr. Nefario: The larger the mass of an object, the quicker the effects of the shrink ray wear off! I call it the Nefario Principle. I just came up with it now, actually. Gru: Oh, no! Margo: Did you see that? Girls: Vector! Help! Vector! Over here! Vector: Hey! What are you girls doing back there? Girls: The moon! Watch out! Vector: Ouch! Gru: Get as close in as you can. You got it. Margo: Mr Gru, up here! Agnes and Edith: Mr Gru! Gru: Okay, girls! Girls! You're going to have to jump. Edith: Jump? Are you insane? Gru: Don't worry, I will catch you. Margo: You gave us back! Gru: I know, I know. And it is the worst mistake I ever made. But you have to jump now. Margo: It'll be okay. Gru: Okay, girls. Margo: Jump now! Gru: Margo, I will catch you. And I will never let you go again. Vector: Not so fast! Gru: No! Margo: Let me go! Gru: Margo! I'm coming, Margo. Hang on! I got you.Vector: No! Oh, poop. News Reporter: This time, good triumphs, and the moon has been returned to its rightful place in the sky. But once again, law enforcement is baffled, leaving everyone to wonder, who is this mysterious hero? And what will he do next? Gru: Okay, girls. Time for bed. Edith: Come on! We want a story. Agnes: Three sleepy kittens! Gru: Oh, no! Sorry. That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously. Tonight we are going to read a new book. This one is called One Big Unicorn by... Who wrote this? Me! I wrote it. Look, it's a puppet book! Here, watch this. That's the horn! Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever! Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but, yes, it probably will be. Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free "thought he was happy as he could be. "Then three little kittens came around "and turned his whole life upside down." Edith: Hey, that one looks like me! Gru: No, what are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. "They made him laugh. "They made him cry. "He never should have said goodbye. "And now he knows he could never part "from those three little kittens "that changed his heart. "The end." Okay, all right. Good night. Margo: I love you. Gru: I love you, too. No, no! All right. Didn't I get you already? They're very good! Gru's Mom: I'm so proud of you, Son. You've turned out to be a great parent! Just like me. Maybe even better. Gru: No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no! THE END Hey, Carl! Hey. No, no, no. Me, me, me. John? No, no. Me, me, me. Oh,

poop. Oh, no! Stop! Stop! Hello, I am Gru. Back to work, back to work! Back to…

IS THIS THE ENTIRE FUCKING SCRIPT?

[the-fiction-witch]

NSFW 100 Benny Watts

1. What's the dirtiest thought you've ever had about a total stranger? I don't know, I don't think about strangers all that often I'm usually busy, I think the worst would just be when I kinda get the thought In my head of, Hu. I'd fuck that.

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW? At night, when the work is done fkr the day, dinners done, and we can go to bed and fuck for a while and go right to sleep after, that's a good evening.

3. What's your favourite way to be seduced? I think we both know it's when people play with my hair, I don't know why, the come here eyes don't do anything, hinting doesn't do anything, you start playing with my hair I'm literally hard in my pants within seconds.

4. What's the dirtiest fantasy you've had at work? That's a good question. Probably just fantasying about beating my aponent and then taking them back to the hotel room and raw fucking them bent over the table, or likewise them beating me and taking me back to the room and riding on my dick for several hours. Either is good.

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance? I am my own boss I guess. But if we are saying the people I play against are co workers then yes. Yes I would.

6. What do you do when you get horny in public? It depends why I'm horny. If I'm horny for an actual reason then I'll have to go see who it was causing it, but if it's just like a random everyday boner then no I ignore it, people can't see it though my jeans, can they? If they can great the can look at my dick and be jealous.

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom? No. I don't masturbate a whole lot and never in public mostly because... Have you seen male public bathrooms? That shit is gross!

8. What's the weirdest thing you've thought about while touching yourself? Chess. Whenever I do actually masturbate it's usually at night, when I'm alone, my works done and I can't get to sleep so I yeah I mess around a little usually while going over chess games in my head, I don't need to imagine anything when I do it I just do it, the touching on its own gets me horny enough, so my head just does it own thing and I usually just think about chess plays.

9. What's the strangest prop you've used to get yourself off? Well pillows. I think that's it pillows and my hand. Or Beth harmon, I'm kidding Beth's great.

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused? No I don't. I don't think I ever like had a moment of Hu Im aroused, it just started happening and eventually I noticed to be fair I have been in a constant mood of I wanna fuck things since I was like fourteen. Not sure why? Maybe I'm just really horny and refuse to deal with it?

11. Who gave you your first orgasm? Now that depends because I did it alot in my sleep when I was younger, but the first actual time when I was fully awake and aware what I was doing it was probably Ali, a girl who used to work up at the bar down the street from my apartment, I was having a drink after a championship one or the few times I'd been in there even if the first few times I was underage, and we got talking about this and that and... We went to the bathrooms together, I miss ali, not for the sex but she was always so nice to me. Still I have a better girl now.

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like? Fucking amazing! And now... Now I have a problem because now I wanna do it all the time.

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew? A few times, hotels after championships, airports and the like, I've picked up the odd girl or too I didn't know but it's fine. I think I picked up someone's wife at a competition once?

14. What's your favourite thing about a quickie? How simple it is. With a quickie both people involved know what this is, we both just wanna fuck and get our release so it's very much a simple understanding, sometimes you have sex with people and they assume that means you give a shit? It doesn't we fucked doesn't mean I like you, it means I was horny, you where horny and now it's over.

15. What the most sexually daring thing you've ever done? Airplane sex! That was intense because those bathrooms are not sound proof in the slightest, you have to be dead silent or everyone can hear you fucking your girlfriend.

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers? Maybe... when I was a lot younger

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks? Sometimes depends on the stranger, but more often people I know, like people I've had sex with before or you know my girlfriend, but to be fair I'm never not mentally undressing y/n?

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them? Sometimes, again much more likely people I know and alot less now I have y/n, before her yeah pretty much everyone but now I'll strip some people in my head every so often but only imagine y/n.

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah, many times, towens is a great kisser, also gives amazing blow jobs.

20. What inspires you to make the first move? Ask them! Literally I do not get all the hinting and the cute eyes and shit just.mm you want to fuck me just ask me to have sex! It's just that simple. Why does it need to be complicated.

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed? Making it good for you but also for your partner people forget about that sometimes you not just in it for you they want some too don't be a ick and just get yourself off, you have to make it good for them too, that and consent is important, not just to start the sex but also during, you don't know if she likes spanking, you don't know of she wants like her hair pulled or her boobs felt ext. Ask don't just do it.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn't help yourself? .... Yes. But it was always in relationships that weren't all that serious, or where fairly open anyway, I cheated on beth do I care? No! Because she fucked harry so I kinda think that's fair? It's only in that kinda situation but if I hadn't I would have my sweet y/n, and I'll never cheat on her.

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush? No.. that just seems weird.

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy?

I do not have a go to fantasy, except maybe my little kitten snuggling up with me

25. What kind of porn turns you on?

Not a lot really, because porn isn't... that great at the moment I do not have time do go to like the weird little theatre's that play them, the best bet really is things like hustler and various magazines you can pick up in newsagents... which I admit I am partial too having a flip though sometimes.

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed?

No always open

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner?

Many times yes, But I have found I much rather be handcuffed, I like when y/n handcuffs me to our bed, I like blindfolding her though, maybe handcuffing her too.

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

Sometimes, depends what's said

29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex god?

Yeah? How about we go handcuff you to our bed sugar and see how much whispering in your ear you can take before your dripping for me?

30. What's the dirtiest thing someone's ever said to you during sex?

"Benny, I want you to fuck me Hard! and when we're done don't pull out I want us to fall asleep with you inside me so tomorrow we can fuck again without you ever leaving me, so You can be inside me all night long"

Yeah... that was hot. to be fair I did eat her out and edge her for like half an hour so, I don't blame my kitten for going a little cock crazy.

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

Once. Okay if you have sex by a pool you have to accept there might be people in here hotel rooms who overlook the pool who can see you!

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

Does three ways count? because for some of that I was watching Beth and Clio have sex so...  yes?

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their "third"?

Depends who it was? Towens and his boyfriend? yes! Beth and Clio? Yes! Beth and Jolene? Yes! Harry and Beth... Eh I'd think about it? But I guess nowadays We'd be the dirty couple asking for a third? won't we kitten?

34. What's the most flattering thing someone's said about your naked body?

"so Perfect I wish I could have you inside me forever"

35. When's the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

I do not

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

Ummm very very fun. Would you like that kitten? a nice hotel room? all our chess friends? and getting everyone to have a nice orgy? Well I'd be happy to it would be fun, but... you know I don't share kitten.

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

Yes many times

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

Uhh maybe a drink, some good sex and then get up in the morning maybe a little spooning, maybe round two if they want to, cup of coffee then fuck off out my house I got shit to do.

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

Myself? Uhh About ten minuets? with y/n well usual a good half hour but sometimes my little kitten's mean to me

40. What's the weirdest thing that turns you on?

Hair. Playing with my hair. I don't get why I  get hard for it but I do? and... when y/n sticks her tounge out again no clue why just whenever I see her do it it means she being a little brat. Or if she does it unintentionally I can't help looking at it thinking how dirty that tounge of her's has been...

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member?

No!

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

Not woke up humping it. I have been spooning it a lot, and been humping it the previous night but no never woke up humping it

43. When's the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

Ohh god years ago, I don't do that anymore, well I did actually not so long ago but that wasn't me that was my kitten who was too impatient for me to wake up

44. What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you while hooking up?

Moaning the wrong name... yeah I did not live that down. I'm sorry towens! you look a lot like harry from the back, you two have similar hair... and similar asses.

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

Many many times! y/n likes to watch me, but she always strips for me or touches herself too so I've got something nice to watch

46. What's the dirtiest text you've ever sent or received?

Y/n sent me some polaroid's of herself in a park, in a sundress and... nothing else, and I mean nothing, Yellow sundress, striped thigh high socks and nothing... no bra, no panties, fuck I'm getting hard just thinking about those pictures.

I think it was then I really did realize, yeah I love this girl, and I'm going to marry her!

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Both are good, they have there draw backs but more likely amateur because I like my kitten.

48. What's your favourite blowjob technique?

Tounge! Need I repeat my weird like of tounges but... when she's licking and swirling it around fuck! I get loud! and god it makes me cum quick.

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

Noooo! don't make a me choose!

But I love when my kitten handcuffs me and rides me till she's satisfied!

and I also love bending her over the table and ordering her to cum!

I can't choose! there both soo good...

I guess if I had to. Dominate but only because It's slightly more options of stuff to do and because I like calling her kitten.  

50. Is there anything you won't do in bed?

anything with like piss and shit can fuck right off I don't know how anyone is into that! but anything else in the world my kitten want's she can have it just not that.

51. What's your dirtiest sexual fantasy?

Its kinda something I really really want but also really don't want, I like the idea of it but it would be horrible. I kinda have a fantasy about Y/n, inviting some... friends over, and letting them all... have there fun with me? literally like tie me to the bed, y/n, beth, clio, jolene, really anyone else towen's too if he's down, just everyone can just use me as a literally cock slave and I would be so fucking happy I would let everyone fuck me!

But that would not go well, I can't stay hard that long, and the girls would fight, and... it wouldn't be good.

so other then that... Ummmm I wanna take y/n to central park! in that sundress.. see how long we can last before I bend her over and fuck my little kitten.

52. How many people have you slept with?

I have stopped counting.

53. Where's the weirdest place you've had sex?

A Plane bathroom? bar bathroom? that time we did it in a pool? I don't know I've had sex lots of weird places?

54. What's your favourite part of Y/n's body?

Her tounge she knows how much I like it . Her pussy, Ummm her pussy's so sweet I could eat my little kittens pussy for hours, and it feels so good around me I mean I fucked her and never ever want another girl ever again, she turned me! someone who fucked around for fun into a one girl guy would would never dream of cheating on my sweet little wifey.

55. Have you ever had anal sex?

Yes, many times, It's the one thing about being in a committed relationship that I miss being with a girl, I miss anal. But I'm sure we could get a toy so she can still do it.

56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose?

Sundress! I love her little sundress! and nothing else.

57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched?

hair... Or my hips, I love when she touches my hips

58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Anywhere I don't care.

59. When did you first had sex?

I was sixteen, and it was a bar bathroom. But it was amazing!

60. What's the best sex you've ever had?

The first time I had sex with y/n, the first time that we actually had sex we were in a little hotel in Cali, and it was amazing! she was so amazing, I'd never felt so good in my life!

61. What's your favourite position?

I love from the side, its so good when it's an early morning or, if we're both a little lazy, we start off spooning then have a few kisses and then after a couple of minuets she's screaming for me.

62. Have you ever been caught having sex?

Weirdly never,

63. Do you watch porn?

No! it's hard to find the places, and there always full of perverts.

64. What kind of porn do you watch?

I look at magazines. Or my little kitten. Oohhh we could make a porno?

65. How often do you masturbate?

Not very often, once a month maybe

66. Name a sex position you'd like to try?

I want to try a weird like upside down thing

67. Do you prefer to give or receive?

Give! I love hearing her scream! I love when she does it took but I like taking care of her better.

68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Many times, I wish we could more often but it's going to one of the warmer places becuase... new York is too fucking cold for that shit! but last time we where in paris in the summer we went skinny dipping and it's so fun, unfortunately it doesn't last long because one of us breaks and just has sex.

69. What's the most sex you've had in a day?

Oohh I think four times, i do not have the like replenishment ability to do anymore then that.

70. Are you loud or quiet during sex?

Loud! I know I'm loud but I like her to know how good she's making me feel, besides' she's louder.

71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay?

No, that seems... sticky.

72. What's the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone?

Voice, and looks I guess.

73. Would you say you have any fetishes?

I like calling y/n kitten, and I love torturing her!

74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go?

I think I've probably gone... very very far.

75. What's your favourite toy?

well my little kitten is my toy. But I do enjoy this little toy we got recently that turns me into a little vibrator for her, i like it because well it makes me hard as fuck and she likes it because I slightly vibrate inside her, and it rubs on her clit for me which Is good because sometimes my hands are... preoccupied.

76. Do you ever read erotic fiction?

I've read stories people send into magazines about fucking stewardesses and hotel maids? does that count?

77. Have you joined the mile high club?

Yes I have, I think by now I'm probably like a platinum member?

78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands?

Yes I can. I have tried. Many times. but I can't anymore... my kitten doesn't bother with panties anymore

79. Would you say you're kinky?

Do. do I need to answer this question or does everything else here answer that enough?

80. Do you enjoy shower sex?

Not really no. The water never stays hot, the shower spray means one of you is always cold, it's weirdly dry, it's hard to get the angle, it's just way more trouble then it's worth, I'll wait and just cuddle her in the shower then bend her over the bathtub before she puts her towel on. but! Bath sex? I like.

81. Where's the weirdest place you've ever masturbated?

I don't really do it anywhere then my bed, or the shower.

82. Do you like to be spanked?

Yes I do, It's amazing! I like it a lot. and I also like doing it.

83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex?

Not really,

84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish?

I would let her watch of course and likely ask her to give me something to watch

85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush?

Not really I guess.

86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex?

Falling asleep afterwards is just a habit, but I have cried several times usually when it feels so amazing your eyes water.

87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex?

Eye contact is so good!

88. Do you like to kiss during sex?

sometimes, it depends what position as much as I love kissing during sex but some positions it just didn't really work

89. Do you get tired after sex?

Very I want a nap afterwards.

90. How many positions do you think you've tried?

I think we have tried most of them

91. What's the longest you've ever gone without sex?

About six months I guess, I don't know I don't really pay attention

92. How high is your sex drive?

Fairly high

93. What's a surefire way to turn you on?

Ask me for sex? or wear the sundress!

94. Sex with lights on or lights off?

Lights on! I can't be trying to work in the fucking dark.

95. Do you like dirty talk?

Very very much so

96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners?

I used to really like one night stands, I liked just the hello, fuck goodbye element to it. but Now I have y/n I'm happy with long term and I don't ever want anyone else.

97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom?

I like both. Don't make me choose!

98.Rough or romantic?

I guess both we are rough but it's in a romantic way

99. Quickie or marathon session?

I love quickies, allows us to get on with other things later in the day, but one night a week we have a nice long marathon session with the toys, and the handcuffs.

100. What's the best thing about our sex life?

I love how kinky and how rough we can get, but it's because we used to miss each other so badly back when we were long distance,  it became out release and to show each other just how bad we had missed one another, but it feels so good and its so amazing to make you feel so good and that you make me feel so good, I'll never need anyone else for the rest of my life now I've got you, I mean you literally made me cry it felt so good the first time we had sex, all your sexy little pictures and letter when we were apart, even if we do go a little crazy on each other sometimes,  I really do love you kitten more then anything, and I can't wait for us to get married, and for our honeymoon.

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[liliesoftherain]

YouTube Challenge!

Request: Ok so I’ve been watching a lot of youtube couples (not the cringey ones lol) and I reallyyy wanted a head canon for maybe bakugou, shoto, and kiri with a s/o who is a youtuber, and they shoot a couple video like those “my boyfriend rates my outfits” or “chapstick challenge” videos. Could the prompts (42)“(58)(18) Also boys to be pro heroes already...if that’s ok. 

A/N: I hope you enjoy this hun, @pletopliito​ and also as each one is written it gets shorter and shorter lol IM SO SORRY

Prompts: 18. “Have you lost your damn mind?” 43. “Why don’t you kiss me already?” 58. “Are you flirting with me?”

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Reader

Katsuki Bakugou!:

“Hey guys, QueenExplosion here! And I have a surprise! Drumroll… It’s King Explosion, as a guest!”

You excitedly pulled your boyfriend into the chair next to you, laughing as he grumbled about the name.

“Right, right! Sorry Mr. Pro Hero, I meant Ground Zero is joining me today!”

“Against my will, might I add.” 

You smacked his arm without looking for the snide comment,

But knowing your boyfriend,

This video was bound to be full of them

“Alright, so today I look a little bare don’t I? That’s because this hunk is going to be doing my makeup.”

“Get ready to look like shit.”

“ANYWAAAAYS, let’s just jump right in, yeah? So I have all my makeup set out on the desk here, I’m not telling him what does what-”

“Like I need to know, this shit isn’t rocket science.”

“And it’s his job to make my look as fine as I always do.”

You watched as Katsuki faced you, grabbing a random brush and your highlighter.

“This is like the base coat for your foundation crap, right.”

He huffed to himself as you stifled a laughter, side eyeing the camera

He brushed it all over your face before picking up your stick foundation,

“Now this just kinda goes.. Fucking everywhere.”

He narrowed his eyes in concentration and you thought he was adorable,

“What are you doing Katsu?”

“You put dots all over your face. So that, stupid.”

He grabbed the beauty blender and you were shocked to try to see him dab it all over your face

He lightly grabbed your neck to maneuver your position,

Making it easier to blend in the makeup

“Do you think I need this much makeup?”

“No.”

“Awhhh-”

“You need a fucking crap ton.”

You smacked his arm again at the rude comment,

But you knew he was kidding with the way he was smirking

“Now that your face is done or whatever the hell, guess it’s the eyes.”

He picked up one of your newer palets and your heart skipped a beat,

“Oh man I just got this… Don’t mess it up please.”

“Yea, yea shut up.”

“I’m serious Katsuki-”

“Shitty woman I won’t mess it up. Now quit talking so I can make your eyes fucking pretty.”

“Haha okayy~”

He grabbed a small brush and opened your eyeshadow pallet,

Staring intently at the colors

“What are you glaring so hard for? Just pick one, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“You use these two the most. Let’s mix them.”

“Wait, what-”

You watched with wide eyes as he dipped the brush into one color,

Roughly grabbing the powder onto the brush before-

“Have you lost your damn mind, KATSUKI!”

“EH!? WHAT!”

You watched as he selected another color,

Lighter than the first,

Blending them together on the pallet instead of on your eye

LIKE HOW A REGULAR HUMAN BEING DID IT

“YOU CAN’T JUST MIX THEM THERE, YOU RUIN THE COLOR!”

“HA? YOU BLEND SHIT ALL THE TIME!?”

“ON MY EYES DUMBASS!”

“So.. Like this?”

He brought the brush up to your cheek and smeared the makeup all over

“Whoops. Missed.”

“Katsukii!”

Laughing and whining you tried to push him away but he kept sneaking makeup all over your face,

Grabbing your hands and holding them so you couldn’t stop his onslaught

It was all fun and games till you heard a crash,

Looking down you saw your pallet on the ground,

Face down

“... Bakugou Katsuki…”

At the tone of your voice he stopped,

Looking down to where he saw you gaze on your fallen makeup.

“Oh fuck.”

Let’s just say that video ended with a bunch of cut scenes until you said goodbye,

Smiling face full of misused makeup and Katsuki with a smug look on his face,

Even if he did have matching makeup stains where you wiped your cheek against his.

“Fellas, if you’re asked to try this, just don’t-”

“Ignore him!! Thanks for the stopping by and watching the explosion duo! See you guys soon! ”

Eijiro Kirishima!:

“Hi beautiful people, and welcome back to my channel! It’s your host, RockkStarr here with my own, rock star- Red Riot! And today we are going to be doing the Chubby Bunny challenge!”

“Yosh!! I’m hyped up to eat some delicious sweets, oh, and the marshmallows too.”

Winking at the camera Eijiro pulled you in close,

You laughed and tried to squirm away as he left playful bites along your shoulder

“Oh stop! If you guys are unfamiliar with the challenge, it’s a winner-loser game-”

“That I’ll definitely win.”

“That you win by seeing how many marshmallows you can fit in your mouth while still being able to say, ‘chubby bunny’!”

“Oh then I’ll definitely lose, you see these cheeks? Made for this.” 

“Owiee!”

Eijiro laughed as you swatted his hand away while he pinched your cute cheek.

“Let’s get onto the marshmallows!”

“YOSH!”

The first few times didn’t go so well since he kept eating them,

“Ei babe you gotta keep it in your mouth!”

“That’s what she-”

After a few more failed attempts you were both up to five, and you both could still talk pretty clearly,

But Kirishima was not making this easy for you,

“What was that??”

“You heard me!!” 

You covered your mouth as you tried to hold back laughter,

Making it even harder to do so as you saw your boyfriend's cheeks puffed out so wide,

With a pursed smile to make him look funnier

“Say it again!”

“CHUBBY BUNNY!!”

After another 4 more you were getting to the limit,

Eijirou was tearing up in laughter about how cute you looked with puffed cheeks,

And every time you opened your mouth to talk they would almost fall out,

“Why don’t you just kiss me already?”

He teased with an almost clear voice,

You rolled your eyes at his smugness but did it anyways,

As soon as your lips touched you couldn’t hold back the giggles,

Spitting out wet marshmallows all over your boyfriend you began dying of laughter,

His shocked and disgusted face made you laugh even harder as his own came out of his mouth

“THAT WAS SO GROSS BABE!”

“AHHHH I’M SORRY!”

You both ended the video,

Your chin slick with drool and Eijiro covered in soggy marshmallows,

But you were both smiling and laughing nonetheless

“Thanks for tuning in! See you beauties next time, RockkStarr-”

“And Red Riot!”

“OUT!” 

Shoto Todoroki!:

“Hello friends, it’s me, IceeBaby! Don’t be alarmed, I know it may be hard to recognize me behind all this Gucci-”

“That’s a store brand tee-shirt, don’t lie.”

“Aaaaaand I’m here with my ice ice baby, Shoto! Thanksforruiningtheintro.”

“Anything for you, love.”

“Thanks babe..  today we are going to have a fashion show of sorts. I'll be trying on my closet for you all to see, and he is taking time out of his busy day to rate them for me!”

“She looks good in anything, so you’re going to get 10/10s everytime.”

“Oh my gosh. Are you flirting with me?”

“I most definitely am.”

“You do know I am dating a top pro hero right?”

“What is he going to do?” 

You giggle as Shoto pulls you onto his lap from, squeezing you tight while he did.

“He can try all he wants but he can't have you back.”

“You’re such a dork-Oh no!! You’ll wrinkle my clothes, let me go!”

“Wrinkled or not this outfit is still a 10 for me.”

You wiggled out of his hold, messing his hair up as you stood.

You tried on a few different outfits, explaining where you got them and why you liked them so much.

“Oh and this shirt-”

“Is my favorite actually.”

“Ohh?? Why is that?”

“This is the shirt you were wearing when we went on our first date.”

Your jaw dropped and Shoto swears there were hearts in your eyes,

“Shoto.. You remember that?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It was one of the best days of my life, you were wearing that shirt and that one pair of jeans that makes your ass look fat-”

“aahhhHHHHHHH! you know about my butt enhancing jeans!?”

“Well, then I didn’t but I know which ones they are now.”

“Kya, you’re so embarrassing~!”

“You were the one wearing them, trying to impress me.”

“Well of course! I was on a date with an up and coming hero, who has tons of pretty heroes who could snatch you from me.”

You pouted looking away from him,

He once again pulled you onto his lap,

“No one is more beautiful than you. I want no one else.”

You looked over to the camera with a smug smile,

“Hear that? Sorry thirsty guys and gals, this man is all mine!”

“Thirsty??”

“Uh yeah, you know how many people thirst over you?”

“Do you know how many thirst over you?”

“Not as many as you, sweetie pie.”

“Whatever you say love, in that case,”

Shoto glared at the camera, shielding you with his body,

“You thirsty people cannot have her either.”

“KYAAA SHOTO-KUN HOW EMBARRASSING!!~~”

You look up at the camera the best you could, a big smile on your face,

“That’s it for today’s video! Go find other people to thirst over!! But I really hoped you enjoyed this! Comment down below if you’d like more content like this! Thanks a bunchies friends! Icy Hot 1 and 2 reporting for outro! Bye!”

[shinyas-ashes]

I posted 2,623 times in 2021

128 posts created (5%)

2495 posts reblogged (95%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 19.5 posts.

I added 190 tags in 2021

#yelling about aa - 67 posts

#anyways - 23 posts

#my art - 22 posts

#norikure - 17 posts

#;; - 14 posts

#ons - 10 posts

#owari no seraph - 10 posts

#yes - 10 posts

#seraph of the end - 9 posts

#kureto hiiragi - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#oh yeah about my work i got promoted pog😎😎😎 i know make i think 2$ over minimum wage and that isnt really anything but whatever i am now

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

"never show your face in front of me ever again" Wright is going to quote that at their wedding <3

49 notes • Posted 2021-07-04 22:03:39 GMT

#4

Kureto took all the eyebrow in the womb

53 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 01:41:47 GMT

#3

IM GOING TO YELL LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT MY BABEY BOY LOOK AT HIM TRYING HIS BEST I CANT-

78 notes • Posted 2021-04-08 01:55:54 GMT

#2

Post dedicated to Guren Ichinose's eyelashes

It's litterally part of his character design to have long eyelashes and I think we should take the time to appreciate it <3 whoever made the executive decision Ty your hard work has not gone unnoticed.

93 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 06:43:57 GMT

#1

433 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 05:37:28 GMT

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