#anyway im sure ill be fine
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Got my first uni exam today .... wish me luck
#txt#60 minutes for 60 questions is crazy#they're trying to set us up for failure#also even though i love doing the conversion questions and they're super easy they take like 2-3 minutes to do??? and theyre worth the same#as every other question???#lord give me strength#i need strength though im scared ill flop#even though its “open book”#anyway im sure ill be fine#i just need to get a distinction or hd!!!
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tiber portrait ive been prodding at
#tiberius the manfish#anthro#furry#fish#there was a light texture on this that i had to take off bc it made tumblr eat the img every time i tried to upload it. booo#anyways im not sure im satisfied w the color here but i think its best to just post#ill probably be fine w it later
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"We're special, Case"
#cod black ops 6#call of duty#black ops 6#black ops 6 spoilers#is it spoilers?#case cod#cod case#william case calderon#artists on tumblr#scopophobia tw#maybe? im not sure#wish they explored more into cases background :/#in fact i wish they characterized case more#i feel like theres so much potential in the stuff they set up for case but never delved into it#as far as i know they set up the whole cradle past thing in emergence then forgot abt it until the last fight w harrow#eh its fine im not here to rant anyways#ill take what i can get#btw it looks worse than normal bc#1. i could only find one pic of case#2. i just drew it today and i have a project due tonight#anyways#im gonna go back to procrastinating
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Update on my health that no one asked for: mmmmbad
#back pain#ouwch#like ig kidney pain#idk#it hurt tho#at least my tummy doesnt hurt anymore ig#it was signifcantly more annoying but this hurts like way more#haha#owch#ummm also might have embarrassed myself at work#cause Ive got stuffed sinuses and was a bit loopy#anyway i sleep now#im not sure what exactly to do about thus#but i have work tomorrow and the convention on Saturday i need to continue prepping for#so i guess probably nothing :)#whatever ill be fine#thats all ive got planned for a while so i can finish the next Kid Leo updates and then relax#yappee#i dont ever actually get sick so i promise i will be fiiine#idk what the kidney thing is aboit maybe i pulled a muscle
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stole the joke from this comic. its so funny. i couldnt stop thinking about it. i should be working on other stuff right now
#CHAT BE HONEST W ME is this too much#i mean its probably fine but i wanted to run this thang by tumblr first#i am simply afraid of the Possibilities. as you know. as you are too i am sure.#anyway ive been awake a good 24 hours now and i drew this during my gay little breaks between work#im working on other things too tho i prommy#i should also go to bed soon. but WILL I? remains to be seen#GOD im seeing so many mistakes but it dontmatter. aint none o this matters. ill fix it up later its part ofa bigger doodly page anyway#no tags or watever we break containmant
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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happy cringe day wednesday here’s that future meta knight design from this thing
i wanted to change his palette so it would be more balanced with the horns and reflect his role in dreamland’s monarchy. hence, the red. and the fur. which is also just because i thought it would be nice and comfy. hard to design a cape for someone without much in terms of shoulders.
kirby’s also here, ready for a sword fight, but…we can ignore that :)
#i have a lot of sorta random ideas for stuff in this timeline but im not really sure what ill do with them?#including the egg thing i actually realized how it ties into my idea with … whatever is happening to Kirby there#but idk?#anyway that’s why it’s cringe day worthy#happy cringe day wednesday#kirbyposting#my art or something#meta knight#kirby#this is all pretty unoriginal i think? but i have fun with it#looking at it now idk how I feel abt the balance but it’s fine lol
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i think if i painted my ex situationship i'd be cured it's the most shallow but intense connection i've had w anyone i think i am so obsessed w how she looks i want 2 photograph her/paint her forever rant in tags but ive talked abt it b4 so feel free to ignore
#god her personality is so . kind of repulsive its insane i think shes a good friend to her friends but#the way she just openly admitted to treating her exes like they r less than human w the most beautiful smile u have seen in ur life#shes acc tainted tottenham court for me bc i keep thinking of our second date where she wrapped her hands around me from behind waiting for#the train . also yh sorry we were one of those cringe ppl on the escalator sorry sorry never again sorry#shes shorter than me but on the escelators she was taller so she kissed the top of my head gently#w the most beautiful side profile on earth she said she didnt even lead me on. its fine it was never that serious#ill FUCKING KILL YOU#thinking abt when on a date she was like . yh my ex would look lovely pregnant 😊 like bitch. WHAT#also she has central heterochromia so like . super beautiful big green/brown eyes longest eyelashes ever + i dont want to lose you i think#im 80% sure we should just be friends ok my love#i took you to a party on a high-rise and you held my neck when u kissed me on a canary wharf rooftop and now you just told me you want to#fuck pregnant women and that you basically cheated on your ex who then cheated on you but its ok bc shes the love of ur life#????#anyway#sorry i am acc basically almost entirely over her this was triggered by her texting me to meet up a few mins ago#after ghosting me for a while . anywya w/e time to hang out w friends and study
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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Don't think you did me any fucking favors.
Wolcred Week 2024 Day 3: Light | Darkness
#valerianart#ffxiv#wolcred#wolcred week#wolcred week 2024#there is. a LOT of lore being left on the table here#lmao.#im sure ill get around to drawing the rest eventually#anyway this might be my favorite piece from this week#im always a sucker for chiaroscuro#the composition is Crisp#anyway dont worry about it theyre fine now#shb was rough on everybody ok#oh yeah timeline#this is shortly after qitana#so. 3 lightwardens in but before it's common knowledge that theyre microwaving wol to death#it causes Situations to occur#aw FUCK#just realized i havent been tagging tyagoa in these....... LMAO#uhhh#tyago'a molkot#better late than never#he is here also. i promise
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love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what
#school and home life are too much to handle so i skip school#because i cant kick my parents out#and appartments cost money#and i dont have a car to sleep in#i could maybe try to dig up my old childhood tent but that brings a whole host of logistic questions + im scared and it's difficult#anyway. it's fine. it's cool. i just have to hold on until i graduate high shcool and then ?????#find a way to live without my parents money OR scholarships#all for some nebulous end goal of having a job (the only field i'm interested in and good at offers two options:#to become an academic#or to become a freelancer#i do not have the fortitude to be an academic and being a freelancer is convoluted and pays like shit)#i might've spent 24h without my parents occasionally if i spent the night at a friend's place once or twice recently#but besides that the last time i've gone 48h without my parents was when the mental health center organised a week camp uhhhh...#two summers ago#incredibly good for my mental health as you can see#god i remember like... years ago. around 13yo maybe or 14. a guy. i dont know if he was a mental health professional or like social cases#but anyway he told me ''you're too afraid to be away from mommy and daddy'' and it made me want to rip his eyes out#several other people have implied or suggested that too over the years and it's just#am i too dependant on my parents? yes. will it be difficult to take my independance? yes.#does it means i don't both rationally recognize and feel that this is really fucking unhealthy and hindering for me#on top of being unpleasant?#FUCK NO#i want out my guy. there's just not many opportunities for an already mentally ill teenager#now that i'm eighteen i have to grapple with the logistical problems of the money needed and how to continue my education#and im sure a billion more if i start searching a little more seriously#perhaps i should kill myself that way i don't cost anyone any more money#broadcasting my misery#vent
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In the words of Jessica Day, "Work sucked today, my friends"
#at least im 90% sure she said that once#anyways it sucked. a LOT#i i paid for something i shouldnt have causing my boss to have to reimburse me and they were. less than pleased#and like i get that i should have communicated better but maybe so should you guys?#i dont know. i think im not completely in the wrong about this but its hard to tell right now#i just want to cry and not think about it ever again#at the moment only one of those is happening#i just. it cant have been ENTIRELY my fault#and i honestly dont know why its such a big deal#but my boss and i have VERY different minds#uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhh#i feel like everything turned out fine but i also feel like its all my fault and everything sucks#and maybe i should stand up for myself but. i do. not. want. to#i KNOW im gonna say my thoughts on it and theyre gonna say something else and ill be like uuuuhhhhh#sure yes whatever im clearly wrong#sigh
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changing my major to looney tunes
#i dont WANNA write an essay analyzing a poem i wanna analyze cartoons and watch movies#actually unironically i shouldve been a media studies major now that i think abt it#finally thought of a pretty good major now that im 3/4 through my degree#o well. its fine. im sure ill change my mind again#reminding myself that literally two weeks ago i wanted to drop out of college altogether and become a plane mechanic#im jsut starting to think that media studies might b the thing im like. consistently passionate abt. maybe. except when im not of course#is this sunk cost fallacy or is it me being wise abt my career path. if i become a tech writer i could always quit 👍#its FINE to be indecisivie ur moving forward the time will pass anyway u still have time etc etc#<- remind myself 👍#maybe my old coworker was right and my true calling is youtube video essayist#charlie words
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“ THE CLOCK IS TICKING, W H I T E ! ”
#neon white#neon green#gif#that one spiderman gif#boss battle#spoilers???#eh im sure its fine#i joined the bandwagon#forced by my mutuals#i never animated in months#maybe ill get back to that#Red was gonna be in the pic#dead obviously#i couldnt do it#we cant all be winners#anyways hi :3#i gotta post more
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.
#thought i mightve had a positive covid test; was mistakenly seeing a faint line on the result strip#took two tests and looked at an one from an incomplete set ivhad around and its all good#but i called my dad and he was out getting pizza and beer. with his buddies#he was dismisive of my fear like. “its fine you wear a mask anyways” and “ill br brutally honest when have i ever steered you wrong” etc#and he wanted me to text him a pic of the test and i told him like#youre just gonna tell me to go to work!#“oh well this far on its fine its just like the cold or flu ive has it twice blah blah blah”#like thats just not true and i get that youre out with your buddies but a bit more compassion would be cool#not sure what i expected. shouldve knoen he would be dismissive#mom texted and she was. nice#but im just exhausted. cried for a bit which did not help my headache but did help me feel a bit better. i just want a hug#gonna eat something n msybe play some minecraft#original posts#aur rambles#medical cw
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it only took two trips to like... four (?) different stores and then two more online orders but now i finally have everything i need for pad thai. ill (try to) make it either tonight or tomorrow
#the things i do for love#(my love for thai food)#the chef whose resippy im using#says that the difficult part is finding all the ingredience#so im very optimistic#making it shouldn't be that hard#the only thing im missing is garlic chives which#until a few days ago i didnt even know had a german name#well. more than one (chinesischer schnittlauch/schnittknoblauch/schnittlauch-knoblauch/chinesischer schnittknoblauch 🙄)#which of course doesn't make the search any easier#apparently you can find it in some asian supermarkets but... haha well. lets justr say#i live in redacted#im sure the occasional rewe or edeka will have it too#at least those with a more cosmopolitan customer base lmfao#but again. i live in redacted#gonna convince my parents to plant some in the garden though#oh i read somewhere that bärlauch can be substituted for garlic chives#but i dont trust that#like at all#anyway#chef says to use finely sliced spring onion instead#so thats what ill do#ok bye#&
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