#anyway he made another one its fine
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nejackdaw · 1 year ago
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Finished BG3 today! Feel a little bad cause all my allies were waiting like "okay, whenever you call us, we'll be there!" and it's like "yeah! Fuck yeah! We're doing this together!" Except we did not do this together because Lae'zel had the bombs that dropped during the Gortash fight and Shadowheart had a haste scroll. I deleted that entire battlefield with a pissed off hasted Lae'zel and the occasional input from my warlock and a mind flayer.
"It's okay," I figured, "I'll summon them for the second phase. I'll probably need them then!" Well, no, I couldn't summon them, and no, I didn't really need them, either. I told Gale "look, it's the crown, now's our chance!" and he crit for like 100 damage right out the gate. I obliterated both phases of that battle. No allies called. I feel kinda guilty tbh
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kaidabakugou · 1 year ago
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the new girl at one of my favorite bakeries called me pretty this morning and it literally melted all my stress away 🥺
#kai.rambles#i was feeling sad bc my grandma is in the hospital and when i went to visit her they wouldn’t let me pass bc my license is expired#which okay ik that’s my fault but i took my passport with me just in case and the guy straight up told me that it wasn’t a valid form of id#and im like yeah tf it is ITS A PASSPORT and he said no#and while i was waiting for my mom to come down to the lobby an old lady came in and he turned her away for the same thing#and dudeee okay you turn me away fine fuck off but an old ladyyy??? at that age they don’t pay attention to that just let her pass#and then he argued with another woman bc she brought a flower arrangement and it had water so he couldn’t allow it HELLOOO??!?#so i had to leave and went to go get breakfast for my mom at least bc she stayed the night and i was supposed to stay the day#and when i came back to give her the food she told me that the nurse that was with my grandma asked what happened bc she wasn’t expecting#my mom to return and when my mom told her she immediately got so angry bc that same guy#didn’t allow her and a couple other nurses to bring in a cake for one of the residents#who’s birthday is today and they had a full on argument this morning#so it was all in all awful and now my mom has been there for more than 20 hours until later tonight when my aunt goes over :(#anyway this turned into a whole rant im sorry but im so mad bc i know for a FACT that a passport is a valid form of id#and he was just being a fkn dick#but the girl called me pretty and it took some stress off and she really liked my blush#and i liked hers so we had a little makeup 101 exchange and it was so nice at least 🥺#and i have a couple cute asks to answer that have made my day as well so i’ll get to those in a few 🥰
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connormoving · 3 months ago
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i was gonna make a post abt how i dont rly like like. Genre changing covers of songs and then realized upon introspection is that i sort of just dont like rock covers of songs generally
#there are exceptions probably. And i do like rock music im not like deep into it or anything but my dad likes rock music soni grew up#listening to it And enjoy it#maybe im just projecting my prejudices against rock fans into the covers. or something . but itll be like. a disco song and its a rock cover#and im sort of just like. IDK. im probably being silly abt it and it isnt avtually anything just From my interactions with rock fans a lot#of the ones ive spoken to NOT ALL r like..sooo goddamn pretentious and rly put down like Any other genre of music esp like. pop and also#like literally any genre with black roots For some reason . Who knows why that is ... so tomme when they do like a rock cover of a song it#feels more like a Lol fixed your song now Cool ppl can listen to it rather than like a. ooh i enjoyed your song and i wanted to try and do#it but in my style of music. If that makes sense. which is literally just me making up an issue and im Literally putting words in their#mouth I am realizing . IDKK just rambling i suppose. Apologies#like idk i think the novelty of like um. Ooh heres this super cutesy song in a more 'aggressive' sounding form is like. cool but it just umm#idk. ik everyone and their mother says this but i rly do like a wide variety of genres and i go to different genres for different things you#know. and i feel like . IDK i rly am just saying anything. is this an evil thing to say#okay sorry. do not take any of this seriously i am going to bed idt im 1. wording snything write 2#idk if i have a salient (is that the word?) thought to express anyways . another miss for connor in the thinking department he has gotttt#to stop trying! gn everyone love you#also this was a thought that came to my mind bc of a podt i saw but its not like me being mad abt seeing that post or eing mad at the#person who put it on my dash LOL it was a fine video i loooove mirrors like that real ones remember#Just made me think abt it. and i think also i still have some lingering rage from that stupid fucking lay all your love on me cover ider if#that was a genre change or not i get so mad abt it that its fully blacked out of my head#but i think its influencing me in dark ways. and also im just imagining someone doing like an all i need is your sweet loving rock cover and#its making me so.mad#and please listen to All i need is your sweet loving off of gloria gaynors 1975 album '#'never can say goodbye' do this for me i love youuu :] its a rly good album
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tommygotwrittenoff · 7 months ago
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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silverselfshippingchaos · 9 months ago
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irl crush posted a me? gongaga meme as soon as i changed my status on another app to online... he said he's never played a f.inal f.antasy... but when i talked to him, i told him to play c.risis c.ore..
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rainbowresurrection · 1 year ago
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I ended up reading The Price of the Phoenix and while it didn't make me want to bleach my eyes like Killing Time, I still didn't like it as much as I hoped I would. Don't get me wrong, the homoeroticism was intriguing to me, but the actual writing and storyline itself left me with a headache. I think I get my hopes up with these books, given all of the possibilities that the written word has for Trek, and it inevitably sets me up for disappointment lol
#if u liked it thats fine I just kind of hated it#star trek#The only ones Ive genuinely liked so far is STTMP and the one about Garak written by Andrew Robinson#i wish Roddenberry had written more. STTMP was no literary masterpiece but his writing style had a lot of potential and I feel that#he actually captured the characters authentically and you could relate to their feelings#Price of the Phoenix had all of this corny alpha male shit going on that almost made me feel#like the author just didn't know how to write men or something#Like they relied a lot on stereotypes of the time which sucked considering that Kirk and co. are supposed to be living in the future#the dialogue was clunky and even confusing at times#and the characters were just#idk. vapid to me#Like Kirk and Spock's love for each other is portrayed which is nice but basically everything else about them just didnt feel#accurately characterized or otherwise explored#it was basically just muliple chapters of several different versions of Kirk getting his ass kicked & this big weird villain dude taking up#space on the page with his plan to take over the universe or whatever#the reincarnation concept was intriguing but the themes just weren't clear enough for me#the end haha#sttos#k/s#review#price of the phoenix#well Im glad I read it anyway I was curious#i get kind of leary of certain K/S content TBF since a lot of it- esp around that time- comes off as voyeuristic towards M/M relationships#a lot of those ppl didnt exactly care about queer movements as much as they cared about seeing their two fictional favs fuck#yes there were queer writers but we didnt always exactly get center stage in these things#you can tell what is written with respect and whats just kinda. written. you feel me#i love K/S and its history but Im not gonna pretend all or even half of it was written with the intention of uplifting queer men#i ended up having more to say than I realized uhhhhhh to be continued at another date
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littlelamy · 3 months ago
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clingy with rafe
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rafe would never call himself clingy. clingy was for guys who didn’t have their shit together or needed constant reassurance. but with you, it wasn’t insecurity—it was something else entirely.
he wasn’t sure when it started, but the second you walked into a room, it was like his body moved on its own. at toppers’ parties, his hand found yours before you even said hi to anyone. you were his grounding force in the chaos, and he wasn’t about to let you slip away.
“stick with me,” he muttered, fingers laced tightly with yours. his voice was low, the kind of tone that was more of a command than a suggestion. you weren’t complaining—his hand was warm and steady, making you feel more at ease in the wild, drunken crowd.
“i thought this was supposed to be a chill thing,” you teased, trying to match his long strides as he led you through the sea of bodies. your tone was light, but you couldn’t help smirking at the way he scanned the room like a hawk. he always had that protective edge, though he’d never admit it outright.
“yeah, well, topper’s definition of ‘chill’ is breaking every piece of furniture in the house,” rafe said, rolling his eyes. his thumb brushed over the back of your hand like it was second nature. “where the fuck is topp, anyway?”
you shrugged, barely holding back a laugh as you glanced around the room. “you’re asking me? i thought you were keeping track of him.” his jaw ticked slightly, but his focus never wavered from you for long.
when someone brushed past you a little too closely, rafe’s grip on your hand tightened. his shoulders tensed, and he pulled you into his side without missing a beat. “you good, princess?” he asked, his voice dropping in that way that made your stomach flutter.
“i’m fine, rafe,” you said, rolling your eyes but feeling secretly pleased at how much he cared. it wasn’t like the guy bumped into you on purpose, but rafe wasn’t about to let it slide. “you’ve asked me that, like, five times tonight.”
“yeah, well, just making sure,” he shot back, his lips twitching into a grin that didn’t quite mask his protective streak. he glanced down at you, eyes scanning your face as if checking for any hint of discomfort. “can’t have anyone messing with my girl, right?”
later, when the two of you found an empty spot on the couch, rafe was already pulling you down next to him. “sit,” he ordered, his voice taking on that familiar commanding edge.
you raised an eyebrow but didn’t protest, sinking into his lap with a sigh. before you could even get comfortable, his hands were sliding over your legs, his fingers brushing gently over your skin.
“rafe,” you said, leaning back against him as his hands roamed, moving up to your thighs and rubbing slow circles over the soft fabric of your dress.
“relax, princess,” he murmured in your ear, his voice low and almost playful as he traced his fingertips along your legs. “you’re too tense.”
you shot him a look, feeling the heat of his hands on your skin, but despite your attempt to act nonchalant, you couldn’t stop the warmth flooding your chest. “you’re impossible,” you muttered, but didn’t move away.
“nah,” he whispered with a smirk, fingers continuing their teasing path along your legs. “i just know how to get you to relax.”
later, when you nudged him and told him you needed to use the bathroom, his reaction was immediate. “cool, i’ll come with you,” he said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. you stopped mid-step, looking at him like he’d grown another head.
“rafe, i’m not gonna get lost. it’s the bathroom,” you said, already exasperated. his expression didn’t budge, that familiar mix of confidence and stubbornness plastered across his face. “you don’t need to come with me.”
“it’s not about you getting lost, princess,” he said, smirking in a way that made your pulse quicken. the nickname rolled off his tongue effortlessly, like he’d been calling you that forever. “just making sure no one tries anything while you’re gone.”
“so, what? you’re gonna stand outside the door like a security guard?” you asked, crossing your arms in challenge. his grin widened, the mischievous glint in his eyes telling you he had other plans. “you’re unbelievable, rafe.”
“not standing outside, babe,” he said with a wink, already following you toward the tiny bathroom. you gaped at him, half-annoyed and half-amused, as he casually shut the door behind you. “i’m coming in with you.”
“rafe!” you hissed, your voice barely above a whisper as you gestured around the cramped space. his nonchalant demeanor made it even more infuriating, like this was the most logical thing he could’ve done. “you can’t just—this is weird!”
“what’s weird about it?” he asked, leaning against the door with his arms crossed. his gaze was steady, like he genuinely couldn’t understand your objection. “not like i haven’t seen you before, princess.”
your cheeks flushed at his comment, and you smacked his arm lightly in protest. “rafe cameron, you’re impossible,” you muttered, turning toward the toilet with a defeated sigh. “at least turn around or something.”
“fine, fine,” he said, laughing as he spun to face the door, his shoulders shaking slightly. his smugness was practically radiating off him, and you knew he was enjoying every second of this. “just say the word if you need me, babe.”
when you were done and washing your hands, he turned back around without missing a beat. his eyes softened as they landed on you, his usual teasing replaced with something gentler. “you okay?” he asked, his voice quieter now.
“i’m fine, rafe,” you said, shaking your head with a small smile. his concern, as ridiculous as it was sometimes, always managed to make your heart ache in the best way. “but you’re never living this down.”
“don’t care,” he said, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around your waist. his lips brushed against your temple, his hold on you firm and steady. “you’re stuck with me, princess.”
and honestly? you didn’t mind one bit.
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gutsby · 28 days ago
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Too Close for Comfort
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Babysitter!Reader
Summary: You’ve been babysitting Sarah Miller forever. One day, you’re surfing the web on her dad’s computer, and you find some…unusual things in his search history.
Or, Joel likes to jerk off to your lookalike on PornHub. It’s time you showed him what the real thing is like.
Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v. Oral (m!receiving). Creampie. Mommy/Daddy Roleplay (HEAR ME OUT!!) Brief boot humping. Squirting. Perv!Joel. Breeding kink.
Note: ‘Just call me if anyone else checks in…and by anyone, I mean any swingin dick’ is a line from No Country for Old Men
Word count: 12.7k
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Purple slime had been Sarah’s idea.
It was an innocent thing, really. The four-year-old had practically been bouncing on the balls of her feet, eyes wide and shining with excitement when she’d begged—‘Can we pleeeeease?!’—and who were you to tell her no?
You’d only be breaking one small rule of Joel’s, after all. One silly little admonition he’d made before leaving for work the first day you’d started babysitting for him. That had been over a year ago, and he hadn’t even sounded that serious when he’d said it. He probably wouldn’t mind if you bent the rule this one time at Sarah’s behest.
‘Don’t go in the computer room, please.’
Don’t use Joel’s desktop. Don’t rifle through any of the drawers in Joel’s office—it was a mess, but everything was in its place, according to him. Just don’t go in there.
But in exchange for Sarah agreeing to take her nap that day without protest, you’d promised to order her slime.
Purple, gooey, glittery, sticky stuff for her new collection.
You weren’t sure when the fuck putty had become the plaything of choice for kids in Pre-K, but you hadn’t been in a place to judge; whatever Sarah wanted to do, so long as it was safe for her to play with, was totally fine by you.
It was just one rule.
Surely if Mr. Miller knew how badly his daughter wanted the slime, he’d be fine with you booting up his computer once. That was what you kept telling yourself, anyway.
What kept humming through your mind as the desktop came to life and you toggled straight for Google Chrome.
Be quick, be quiet, it’s fine. It’s fine.
Purple goo—it was safe. Innocent. Completely justifiable.
What could the sweet, old, forty-something and forever polite Joel Miller possibly have to hide on this machine that made it wrong for you to buy this one simple toy?
You reached for the keyboard and inhaled a quick breath.
Then you typed one letter, and your heart nearly seized.
P…
…ornhub.com
It was the very first thing that appeared in the search bar.
You couldn’t unsee it. Instinctively, your hand clamped over your mouth, and your eyes widened. You couldn’t help but read the four URLs that immediately dropped down below the first; they were just so garishly inviting.
Hot, Naughty Babysitter gets POUNDED by her Boss!
Slutty Babysitter Gets Railed from Behind and Loves It
Big Dick Boss Gives Babysitter a Passionate Raw Fuck
‘I’ve Never Done This!’ Babysitter Deepthroats Cock
“Oh…my gosh,” you said, words muffled by your palm.
You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. It was just too bizarre, too far out of character, too unlike your boss.
The man had scarcely said ten words to you altogether that didn’t relate to your job in some way or another. He rarely ever engaged in casual confab, and he certainly wasn’t the type to flirt, or make you uncomfortable in the slightest. Frankly, in all the time you’d been babysitting, you always thought you were just…invisible to Joel Miller.
Not this. Never this.
You were still staring at the screen when you realized that you’d missed one URL title from the list. It was long.
It was the most unnerving one of all, you came to see.
Babysitter Lounging Poolside in Hot Red Bikini Gets a BIG Surprise—Her Old Boss Teaches Her How to FUCK
Your hand lowered from your face. It trembled, contemplating, before coming to rest atop the mouse.
Something about this seemed familiar. Strangely…off.
You couldn’t explain it, but your head and your heart and your hand gravitated to that one odd link in particular. You hadn’t even meant to move the mouse. Or press it with your finger. But there you went, following your instincts like some dumb, brainless ditz, and then the screen was changing. Going dark with the shift to an adult site before brightening anew with the thumbnail.
It was paused on one frame. Your jaw slackened.
The girl staring back from the scene was you.
Or looked exactly, uncannily like you anyway.
It was then that you noticed what she was wearing, too—what you guessed wouldn’t be on her body for long—and you glanced down to your own shoulder. Just like your on-screen doppelgänger, you were wearing the same bikini in a bright, cherry-red hue beneath your tank top.
You wore it under your clothes damn near every day, indulging in the Millers’ backyard pool more often than not, and even being allowed to swim there on the days Sarah had summer camp—Joel had been so obliging.
So accommodating and sweet.
You never thought he’d be seeking your fucking twin online on a porn site after watching you traipse around his property wearing it. Your gut clenched; you clicked.
“Hey, sweetheart! Everything go OK?”
The voice that rumbled through the speakers was low. Male. Vaguely paternal and with a hint of a Southern lilt.
You swallowed, knowing exactly where this was going.
You weren’t sure why you were even watching when you could already predict what would become of it. The camera panned over a body identical to yours; it landed on a face that was smiling and sweet and so like your own you almost had to question whether it might not be you after all. Had you somehow forgotten this secret porn alter ego in a bout of amnesia? You kept watching.
The girl bit her bottom lip and let out the phoniest giggle.
“Yes, sir. Perfectly fine. Do you like my new bikini?”
Be so fucking serious, you thought, critically.
Then you remembered it was porn, not an Oscar-winning film. You saw the camera tilt down to her tits, and you had to admit, she had a great rack. A bit nicer than yours.
For a beat, you wondered if Joel had thought the same.
You had to batter those thoughts away, because the next second brought a big, burly hand onto the screen. It reached for the girl with her perfect, perky breasts and it kneaded them softly. No further pretense or prelude was needed—they just jumped right in and let it happen, like this was a normal thing for a babysitter and a boss to do.
Maybe in some other universe it was. In a world where a girl your age could just smile, and bat her eyes, and let them roll back gently as a whimper crossed her lips and she begged him, ‘More, daddy, more!’ this was all okay.
The man squeezed the flesh harder. She whined, and he proceeded to push the red nylon aside and expose the whole expanse of her breast—and holy shit, even the nipple looked like yours. Your mouth opened wider, and for a moment, it was like you couldn’t breathe as you watched that old, sun-kissed hand fondle the breast of a girl who looked just like you. Who was peering up at a man who sounded almost like Joel, murmuring, ‘Attagirl.’
You’d heard your boss say that once.
It had been such a silly, off-handed thing that you doubted he even remembered saying it. But one time, you’d struggled to open the passenger door to his truck before he drove you home. Once you’d narrowly managed to pry it open and slide into your seat, he’d laughed and rumbled: ‘Attagirl.’ Your face had warmed.
Just like your cheeks were doing now, all hot and bothered and desperate to hear more. Presently, the man slid the top off of the girl’s chest, and her breasts hung freely. You could hear him groan behind the camera at the sight, and not too long after that, before he could reach to touch her tits again, she was crawling on her knees toward him. Shuffling easily and expertly across the lawn chair and undoing the belt, button, and zip of his pants in a matter of seconds. A hand smoothed over her head, and you could see her preen beneath his touch.
Before she’d even wrapped her lips around his cock, your stomach was churning. Your fingers were stirring from the mouse and moving gently—again, of their own volition, it seemed—toward the waistband of your own bottoms. It was sick, admittedly. So wrong to be wanting to touch yourself to the very same video your boss had indulged in himself, in the very same chair he had done the deed. But you couldn’t help it. Your fingers slipped under the the fabric of your shorts, then your bikini, then your throat let out the tiniest noise upon seeing a cock appear on-screen. It was abnormally large, of course.
Silently, you wondered if Joel’s might not look the same. Your stomach flipped as soon as the girl took it in her mouth, and your index and middle fingers landed on your clit. You barely needed to touch to feel a jolt of pleasure.
Her head bobbed up and down. You felt powerless to do anything else but rub. And circle. And moan the slightest bit when you saw her coat his length with her shiny spit.
You heard that your noises mirrored hers. You didn’t care. Really, it felt as though you were in a trance, and you couldn’t stop watching, or touching, until you’d had your fill. Like Mr. Miller had done himself. It was all too much.
Before you even realized it, five minutes had passed, the man and woman on-screen were shifting from oral to raw, penetrative sex, and you were nearing your peak. Right before the cock that had been lodged down the girl’s throat could slide into her wet, glistening cunt, you felt your stomach lurch. You rubbed harder, watching the fat and leaking tip of the man’s cock tease through her folds, and just as he was about to slide in and you could finally find your release…a door banged open downstairs.
You almost screamed.
As quickly as you could, you yanked your hand out of your pants and clicked out of that browser even faster. The second you heard footfalls on the steps, you scampered out of there. Half-sprinting, half-tip-toeing down the hall and toward the bathroom, before halting at the door. You made your presence known with one light stomp of your foot, pretending to be turning and walking out, and as soon as you did, Joel was right there. Staring.
Sweating.
Scrubbing at his face with one weary hand, before taking a rag and wiping it through his beard. He sighed heavily.
“Long day?” you chirped while trying to mask the panic.
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Joel answered, voice wan, “How’s my little terror? Asleep? She give ya any trouble?”
Just asked me to buy her a toy online and inadvertently led me to find your internet Spank Bank archives full of women who look like me. Other than that, it was fine.
“I put her down about an hour ago. She was great.”
You forced a smile, and Joel seemed to believe it.
“Perfect. Need me to give you a ride home?”
“No, no, you should stay here with Sar—”
“‘S’alright. Tommy’s right downstairs.”
Of course he’d brought him home.
“No, really, I can walk. It’s fine—”
“Don’t be silly. C’mon, kiddo.”
Kiddo.
Kiddo.
The man had been jerking off to the thought of you for who knows how long, and now he called you ‘kiddo’?
You hated how arousing the nickname sounded from him
You despised yourself for rubbing your clit in his office.
Most of all, you loathed the way your panties had gotten wet the last time you’d climbed into his truck and heard that word crawl off of his old, drawling tongue: ‘Attagirl.’
Reluctantly, you nodded your head. You followed him downstairs and hoped the car door wouldn’t stick again.
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He had to stop.
It was no longer a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’ his dick would lead him straight off a cliff, and today, Joel was starting to think that precipice was looking extra nice. Tempting.
Almost as inviting as the divot he could see at the small of your back, glimmering with a couple hot beads of sweat under the midafternoon sun. He swallowed.
Sarah was at camp today. You’d had the time to yourself, and the weather was blistering hot, and of course, where else would you be but his backyard? He’d told you ad nauseum, ever since you started babysitting his kid, that his pool was open to you whenever you so chose to go.
Presently, Joel wished he could revoke that invitation.
Seeing how you were flipped on your stomach, body all soft and warm and splayed out on one of his deck chairs—wearing that fucking red swimsuit, of all things—Joel was left to ogle from his office window, and inside, he felt like a certified pervert. Arguably, he was. His old, worn hands had all but glided to find his mouse as soon as he’d sat down at his desk and saw you out there, and no sooner had his cursor found Chrome than his cock started to stir. He’d wanted to watch. If not you in all your bare, sun-baked glory, then surely the woman he could see getting her throat and cunt stuffed on his screen.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
Was he really that much of a gooner he couldn’t let his kid’s babysitter lounge outside without stroking his dick?
Shit. He had the bottle of lotion in one hand and the box of tissues in the other in no time at all. He ripped three free Kleenex aside and reached for his mouse once more.
He was pissed at himself. He toggled over to the Hub with a grunt, and in no time at all, had you pulled up.
Joel liked to pretend it was you, anyway.
If he couldn’t have the sweet young thing every swinging dick in this town would’ve killed to have himself, he could rub one out to a girl exactly like you. He could fantasize.
He could skip the video to 8:53 on the dot, as he always did, and he could rub himself raw. It wouldn’t take long.
He always fast-forwarded to that exact part, without fail, because she moaned like you then. He’d never forget it.
It had almost been six months since it happened, and he still remembered that sound as clear as day. You’d been hauling your backpack off the couch in the living room, having stuffed the thing full with more school supplies than you could feasibly carry, and Joel had been in the kitchen, unseen. You’d lifted the bag with effort, and once you had, you let out a soft but audible whine. You dropped the bag back down to your feet, and when you bent to try again, you’d moaned fully. It was like the stretch had made you feel good, or something. You’d huffed and managed to get the weight slung over your back with modest success, then left, but Joel had been changed. Too quickly had he retreated to his office and swore to find any clip where a moan sounded like that.
“Please! Feels like a fucking dre-e-e-e-e-eam—oh, OH!”
Granted, the dialogue was cheesy, but the sound after it was identical to the one you’d made. Joel repeated it.
He hadn’t even noticed, but he’d already lathered his hand and cock with lotion. He was scrubbing vigorously while your twin wiggled her hips and begged her co-star to put it in, to quit teasing her pussy like that, can’t you see I’m practically dripping for you, daddy? Look at it!
Unfortunately, Joel’s head was turned the other direction—away from the screen, and toward the window—watching you where you sat out on the lawn.
He stroked harder. He groaned.
You had just turned onto your back. Your tits looked incredible. Joel reckoned they’d look even better with his dick pushed up between them, and at the thought, his mouth watered. His lips were slightly parted, and he feared he might drool. What a sight he must have been then: jaw slack, lids heavy, cock in hand, and moan after moan bubbling out of his throat. He got closer to climax.
“Gonna teach ya, honey. Teach ya how to please a man.”
It wasn’t long after that that Joel heard the girl whine in pleasure—the man behind her had notched in the first inch and told her to behave—and meanwhile, he watched your chest rise and fall, rise and fall outside. It was calm. Unlike the girl being taught how to fuck poolside, you remained untouched. Spotless. Placid and serene while your hands picked up a magazine and began flipping through it. While Joel’s orgasm crested inside him, he wondered if you’d ever want to try something like that. Roleplay. Or would it be fake at all? Had you ever been touched by a man, shown the best ways to give and receive pleasure, or was it all brand new, like it was supposed to be for the woman on his screen? Joel panted, and he fucked his hand harder. He groaned.
“Oh, daddy, it’s so big! Feels so good going inside me!”
“You love gettin’ fucked by an older man, don’t you?”
“Yes, daddy, yes! Please don’t stop—oh, OHHH!”
Joel wanted to be the only older man you had.
If he wasn’t the first, he sure as fuck could be the last. Give you all the dizzying, euphoric feelings your body deserved and stretch you open gently for the taking.
He could teach you so much, ruin you for any oth—
Shit.
What the fuck was this asshole doing here?
At the back gate, he saw his neighbor Dieter.
The man strolled across the lawn, and Joel’s orgasm receded in a blink. He was walking right over to you.
No. No, no, no. Joel released his dick from its vice grip and felt the thing twitch in indignation. Meanwhile, the sound of skin on skin continued to flood his eardrums from out of the computer speakers, where the happy babysitter-boss duo was hitting a brutal pace. The girl let out one over-the-top shriek of pleasure, and Joel clicked pause. He toggled out of the browser. Then he redirected his gaze out the office window, where his own girl was being accosted by Dieter. His blood boiled with anger.
Who did this creep think he was? The man never so much as looked Joel’s way or approached his property unless it was to ask to be ‘lent’ some booze or else ask after some friend, relative, or coworker Dieter wanted to be introduced to—he was perennially unemployed and a fuckboy bachelor to his core. The last Joel had heard, he’d spent the last year in Los Angeles, or Paris, or some other too-big city to chase his singing and acting dreams
And here he was now, hitting on his poor, defenseless babysitter. Joel wouldn’t stand for that in any world.
Though his dick was still erect, it had softened some, too. His rage facilitated that, and him shoving his length back in his jeans, zipping it up, and all but punching the desktop off made it spongier still. He walked like he was mad at the floor beneath his boots. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling so defensive—he had just been rubbing one out to the sight of you less than five minutes ago—but now wasn’t the time for thinking. He had to act.
Protect, if he had to.
What if his neighbor wanted to go for a swim, too?
Joel would drown the man with his two bare hands if he so much as reached for your bikini-clad form. He stalked loudly down the hall and searched for a less sweaty shirt to wear, then some deodorant, then a comb. He peered in the bathroom mirror and saw his black-and-grey locks all out of sorts, and for a second, he contemplated taking a shower. You’d probably be able to smell his unsatisfied desire from outside. He looked, and felt, a bit unhinged.
Joel decided he didn’t care, before plodding downstairs.
Outside, you lay in the same position he’d seen you last. Your hand was shielding your face. You were smiling.
And beside you, Dieter was grinning even bigger.
Joel made a beeline down the porch steps, then across the lawn, like his life might’ve depended on it. Scowling.
“—but getting cast in Gladiator II would’ve been wild—”
Of course Dieter was yapping about his failed acting career. Of course. Joel could hear him drone on as he approached, though he didn’t register a word of what he said. Instead, he waved a hand. He feigned a calm tone:
“Dieter! How’s it going?”
And he slowed down, too.
Just as he drew in, his neighbor volleyed a look his way. Joel couldn’t miss how his smile twitched down a little.
“Joel.”
Accepting a cordial hand in greeting.
“Doing alright, how ‘bout yourself?”
Joel nodded fine, just fine and offered some offhand remark about not having seen him since last summer, and Dieter couldn’t resist the chance to puff up and mention a school he’d been attending. Joel didn’t hear it, or give a shit. His gaze was already trained on you. Your own flitted from Dieter, to Joel, then to Dieter again, and your lips were smiling kindly enough. You seem humored.
“Mr. Bravo just got back from Berlin,” you beamed.
Then Dieter met your look and shook his head.
“Dieter, sweetie, Dieter. Or Dee, if you want.”
Joel almost wanted to vomit in his mouth.
“Germany, huh? What brings you here?”
No sense in beating around the bush.
Joel meant to ask why Dieter was here, in his backyard, with his babysitter, of course. Why the fuck he was eyeing you like that, like your tits were two Emmys and the only way to earn it himself was to stare as long, and as hard, as possible. Joel cleared his throat instinctively.
Dieter blinked and cast a glance back to him.
“Oh, here. Yeah. I, um…I just wanted to see if you had that— that—” He snapped his fingers, “That leafblower.”
Leafblower?
He was so full of shit.
“My leafblower,” Joel repeated.
It was fucking July, for crying out loud.
Evidently, his neighbor didn’t seem to care. He met Joel’s gaze with an even look, and he nodded his head.
He doubled down: “Yeah, the leafblower. I’ve had some debris pile up in my yard since I’ve been gone, y’know.”
“Are you gonna be in Austin long? Or are you going back overseas once you’ve had that casting call?” you asked.
You cocked your head with genuine curiosity. Joel grit his teeth, but he tried not to let his discontent show anyplace else on his face. A muscle might’ve jumped when he saw how smugly Dieter smirked at your intrigue.
“Oh, I’ll be here long enough, don’t you worry,” he said.
That was it.
Joel gestured to the shed in the back corner of the yard, about to tell Dieter that the leafblower was in there, go knock yourself out, when his neighbor cut in once again.
“In the meantime, maybe I’ll have you babysit for me. I hate to steal Sarah’s pal, but maybe you can split your time between my place and Joel’s. What do you think?”
You blinked a little quicker, like you weren’t quite sure what to say at first. Joel took the chance to interject.
“You don’t have any kids, Bravo,” he practically growled.
“I know. I’ve got cats, though,” Dieter just grinned back, flitting a cheeky look to you. “And you have no idea how naughty those pussycats can get while a man’s away.”
That was really all Joel could take. He didn’t even let you answer; he just pointed to the shed and made a fist with his other hand at his side. His chest was heaving breaths.
“You and her can chat when she’s off the clock, how ‘bout that? Leafblower’s in the shed. Door’s unlocked.”
His words didn’t invite protest of any kind. Dense as he was, Dieter probably sensed that he’d ticked his neighbor off with the suggestive comment to his babysitter, and he backed away, both literally and figuratively. He bid a quick, cavalier goodbye with a shit-eating grin stretching his lips, and then he went to the storage shed and left.
You were still blinking, still creasing your brows tight, by the time the back gate had slammed shut behind him. You watched after him, teeth gnawing at your cheek.
“He seemed like a funny gu—”
“What do you think you’re doin’?”
Joel’s words appeared to sting like a slap in the face. You jerked your head back to him, seeming to say, ‘What?’
“You know what. Don’t play innocent now,” Joel griped.
You continued to stare, then started to shake your head.
“Mr. Miller—”
“Don’t Mr. Miller me, either,” he snapped, far shorter than he’d ever spoken to you before. His nostrils flared, “You’re old enough to know better. You did all of that.”
“All of what?” you shot back.
“Attracted men like Dieter into my yard.”
“He’s your neighbor! What do you expect?”
Offense marred your tone. He didn’t entirely blame you.
“No, no—he never sticks his nose over here unless he sees something he wants. You were flaunting yourself.”
At that, your mouth fell open.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Miller? Are you serious?”
“Language, young lady—”
“I don’t give a shit.” You stood up from your chair. Your eyes flashed with ire. Just like his hands had before, yours curled into fists. You stood your ground with him. “You invited me to come swim here whenever I wanted to. You did that, asshole. What did you expect me to sunbathe in, army fatigues and fucking combat boots?”
Joel blinked hard at that. He didn’t like being mocked.
“Still shouldn’t be that damn skimpy. And I said lang—”
“Yeah, yeah. Thanks, dad. Don’t act like you’re mine.”
Don’t act like you’re mine.
Joel’s chest tightened. His gaze seared into yours, almost as though he were as angry as you were now, but deep down, the man only felt remorse. Resentment. Whatever rage he harbored now was reserved for himself
He shouldn’t have gone there.
He shouldn’t have masked his own jealousy with pseudo paternal scolding. He looked like a dickhead doing that.
And you weren’t shy to let him know it in the slightest.
Presently, your finger was jabbed in his face. You were planted less than two feet from where he stood, and though you were noticeably dwarfed by his size, your next words had him beat by a foot, if he’d had to guess.
“I watch your kid, Joel. I am not your daughter. If you don’t want me hanging around here in my hot red bikini, then you can just say that. But don’t blame me for him.”
Joel bristled at your words, though he wasn’t sure why. When he opened his mouth to speak again, you added:
“And don’t blame me for that, either.”
Suddenly, he realized your finger was pointed at his legs.
Or, rather, what was poking up stiff between them.
Joel’s cheeks heated up to a thousand degrees.
You’d just caught him. You’d seen his arousal.
And you were turning on your heels again.
Before Joel could even try to summon the words to his tongue, you were grabbing your things. Shoving your shoes onto your feet. And Joel had only to stand there.
Feeling stupid and inert beside you.
As you went to the back gate, he somehow managed to call that you didn’t have a car, let him drive you back.
You didn’t even dignify his words with a verbal response.
You just raised your middle finger over your shoulder.
And then the gate crashed shut behind you.
You would be walking home that day.
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Two big eyes and round cheeks were all you could see.
Then, they darted beneath the covers and were gone.
“Oh no, where’d sweet Sarah go?” you wondered aloud. Sitting at the edge of the bed and pretending not to see where she’d just dipped her head under the blankets, you furrowed your brows and proceeded to pat around you.
Everywhere you felt with your hands, you completely ignored the big lump under the duvet. It was a game.
A silly one at that—hide-and-go-seek was generally best left to places where you couldn’t figure out her location in the blink of an eye. But you played along. You heard a soft giggle. You continued feeling around the twin-sized mattress like this was the most bewildering puzzle of all.
“Whe-ere’s Sarah?” you sing-songed.
You heard a shuffling of limbs, a sniffle.
Your palm tapped right by those little feet.
And as soon as you did, she screamed. At four years old, Sarah hadn’t quite mastered the art of being stealthy.
You’d cut her some slack. You always had.
Blindly passing where her body lay, you glided to the opposite side of her bed and tapped inquiringly there.
“Is she…here?” You got a pillow.
“No!” Sarah shrieked back.
Such a helpful, obliging kid. She’d make a terrible spy.
“Is she…up here?” You rapped the headboard twice.
“No!!” she squealed.
You glanced over at the clock on her nightstand. It was approaching bedtime. Taking note of this, and knowing you couldn’t keep up with the charade for much longer, you let out a sigh. You stood from the bed, looked around the room with dramatic éclat, then started to walk away.
“Okay…I guess if Sarah’s not here I’ll have to leave…”
The second you said that, Sarah threw the covers back. She jumped up in bed, and she stomped her little feet.
“No! No! I’m here! I’m here!”
You spun on your heels, eyes wide with faux surprise.
“Sarah!”
And then you rushed back over, just in time to watch her drop to the bed and flash you a wide, exuberant smile.
“Your Sarah,” she corrected.
She adored it when you called her that. Your Sarah.
You nodded your head in agreement, “My Sarah. Sorry.”
She nodded too, like she’d just reminded you of the most important thing, and then she slipped back under her covers. She let you drag the purple duvet over her frame, all the way up to her chin, and when she was all snug inside, she gave another smile. She kicked her feet again.
“Stay,” she commanded, tone still sugar-sweet.
“I will, baby. ‘Til your daddy gets back, I’ll be here.”
“I mean forever!” Sarah dragged out the last syllable, and, not yet content with the answer you’d proffered, tried swaying you again, still more emphatic, “For-ever!”
If your daddy wasn’t such an ass, I might consider it.
Instead, you smiled back at her and shook your head. You smoothed the hair away from her face, then you leaned in and kissed her forehead with a gentle peck.
“Then my family would miss me. I gotta see them.”
“Says who?” Sarah’s pout was unmistakable.
Before you could reply, she cut in again.
“You can be my family. My mommy.”
Your throat constricted at those words. You weren’t sure what to say, or how to assuage your sweet Sarah then.
Again, you were about to open your mouth to speak, when your pint-sized companion piped up again. This time, her voice was softer. Surprisingly delicate and low.
“I want you to be my mommy,” she told you quietly, “Then you’ll live here. With me and daddy. And you’ll never have to go home again and we can play all day!”
Your heart ached. You kissed the tip of her nose and turned away, momentarily, to hide the hurt on your face.
Sarah Miller deserved much more in a mother than you.
When you looked up again, her grin was big. Hopeful.
“Don’t you wanna be my mommy too?” she asked.
“‘Course I do, baby,” you answered without hesitation, “But…don’t you think your daddy should have a say too?”
Somehow, her face got even brighter.
“He will! He— he…”
Sarah trailed off a second, as if considering her words. She didn’t understand what marriage meant. You’d help.
“Your daddy,” you finished for her, speaking slow and soft as you leaned in close, “is a good man who deserves a good woman to make your mommy. Don’t you agree?”
She bit the inside of her cheek.
“Yeah, but—”
“And a mommy’s gotta be someone he really loves.”
“But he…”
She was thinking again. You could tell. You pressed on.
“He is gonna find someone great someday. He’ll love you and her to bits, and y’all will get to play together all day.”
“But he loves you!” Sarah cried, at length.
A beat.
Your breath faltered.
The girl’s words had scarcely hung in the air for more than two seconds, and their meaning hardly registered in your brain before your own were coming out fast. Certain
“Your daddy doesn’t love me, baby. I’m just his friend.”
“Yes, he does! He told me so himself!”
Again, you shook your head.
“You misunderstood him, sweetie.”
You tried to smooth her hair back again, but Sarah’s head bucked away. She scrunched up her nose in clear protest and refused to let you cradle her face until she’d spoken her piece. When she did, her voice was pleading all over:
“Daddy loves you, he told me. You can be my mommy.”
And for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, you felt your heart balloon in your chest. Your gut clenched—but not for the reasons she or you wanted it to. The truth was that you didn’t have the words to tell a four-year-old girl that her father didn’t love you like that at all, that his head and his heart were anywhere but with you, and that, if you were being honest, you were furious with him. How he could so much as hint at such nonsense was beyond you. His little girl dreamed of having a mother. It was stupid and senseless and cruel to even suggest that that woman could be you. You sighed.
But, despite your every thought and feeling to the contrary, you knew you had to soothe the girl with some small semblance of hope. Something to hold her over for the night, so she didn’t cry herself to sleep thinking that you didn’t want to be her mommy. Gently, you leaned in.
You lifted the covers back up from where they’d fallen. You tucked them snug around her torso, and you paused.
Your tone was measured and soft when you spoke next:
“I don’t know about your daddy, baby. What I do know is that I would be the luckiest lady alive to get to be your mommy, alright? I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
And you meant it. You saw one look light up her face, and every ounce of anger that had been provoked by her father was forgotten in an instant. Her grin ensured it.
“Anywhere,” she parroted back.
“Anywhere,” you said, again.
Then you kissed the crown of her head, wished her sweet dreams, cut the little light off. You left the room quietly.
It was only when you were out of there and far enough away down the hallway that your skin started to burn.
You couldn’t help it. Anger was fast to trickle back.
This feeling was only compounded when the next moment brought a sound to the landing on the stairs. You glanced over down the hall, muscles all tensing at once, and when you saw him there, it was as though your rage just bubbled over. Your jaw clenched; your stomach flipped in a way so decidedly unlike how it had done for him two days ago, in his office, and suddenly, your throat was working again. You kept your voice low this time, keen not to draw Sarah’s attention out there, but the words you used were clear. Quiet. Doubtlessly effective.
Even in the dark, you saw his brows jump when he heard:
“Joel, we need to talk.”
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It had been two years since he’d had a woman in here.
Joel wished it were under any circumstances but these.
Presently, your eyes were ablaze. The two of you had just stepped into his room and shut the door behind you, and with the click of a latch, you hadn’t thought to hold it in:
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
He blinked.
Well, many things.
Joel wouldn’t have had the space to explain it all if you’d given him a week, and still, he had to say something. He blinked again, made a sound in his throat as if to clear it, then shook his head. His shoulders sagged in his jacket.
“I…I’m sorry.”
For the other day. For getting caught up in his own anger and taking it out on you. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was apologizing for now, or what he should say, but he thought it best to start there. He shrugged his jacket off and set it over the back of the nearest chair. He turned to you again, where you were standing with a warning look.
“Don’t say sorry to me,” you said. “Say sorry to Sarah.”
Sarah?
Before he could speak, you went on.
“You’re just setting her up for heartbreak, you know that? I mean how selfish— how stupid could you possibly be?”
You pursed your lips like tears might threaten if you didn’t. This caught him off guard—his daughter? What could he have said or done to hurt her in any of this?
“What are you talking about?”
“You said I’d be her mom, Joel!”
He winced. You furrowed your brows and set your mouth in a line—really trying to fight the emotion behind it—and, while all the rest of you bristled in anticipation for what was to come, Joel softened. He didn’t mean to. He didn’t want to be the guy who lost his head at the thought of seeing you cry and forget the whole reason you were upset with him in the first place, but he couldn’t help it. Though you looked like you wanted to kill him right then, Joel drew closer. He shifted toward you.
“Did— did she, uh…call you…mommy?” he said, pained.
“Yeah. And you let her believe she could,” you spat.
He hadn’t meant to do that, either. Sarah had been calling you that for a while when you weren’t around to hear, and after enough times telling her otherwise, he’d just stopped correcting her on it. Sarah wanted a mother. You were the closest thing she had, and who was he to sabotage that? At the time, he’d just wanted to…pretend.
That was a running theme he had going with you.
Right now, you didn’t seem to care about that.
You just rolled your eyes in that cool, juvenile way when you didn’t hear a response from him, and he had to bite his tongue from saying something worse. He hated when you did that. It made him remember your age—the reality of you being his kid’s babysitter and how guilty he should feel for wanting to do something more about that eyeroll.
He wasn’t your father.
You weren’t Sarah’s mother, either.
You most certainly weren’t the girl on his computer screen, as much as he would’ve liked to see you that way, and even though you were standing here in his bedroom.
That was all fantasy. Make-believe. This was his reality.
You were visibly pissed and wouldn’t budge an inch.
“Is it really so bad if she says it?” he grit out.
Your eyes widened. You scoffed.
“Of course it is, Joel!”
You backed away.
He hated seeing that, too. He hated having you move from him, not toward him, wearing that scowl on your lips as you did. His fingers twitched—itched—at his side.
“Sarah’s young. She doesn’t…mean anything by it. She’ll grow out of it soon enough. And I don’t want to hurt her.”
“You’ll hurt her even worse by not telling her the truth!” you snapped. You sounded exasperated saying it now. “We’re not a family. I’m the goddamn babysitter, and— and— you’re Sarah’s father. Act like it, for Christ’s sake.”
That set his teeth on edge.
Joel felt the urge to fight back, but narrowly refrained. He flexed his fingers, and he bit down hard to keep the vitriol at bay. Because that was exactly what fathers did. They controlled their anger; even when faced with a smart-mouthed babysitter who wore his patience out.
Even when your arms were folded over your chest in that impossibly tight, white tank, and your tits looked like they might spill from the fabric at any given moment. Joel swallowed and refocused his gaze before going on.
“Don’t tell me how to be a father.”
Something flared in your eyes.
“Why? I’m fucking right.”
“Language, young lady.”
That only seemed to irk you worse; your hands flew up.
“Yeah, well,” you started, accusing, “If we’re playing house, I might as well be allowed to say what I like.”
“We are not playing hous—”
“But you want to, right? That’s why I’m always here.”
“No, I need a—”
“Maid? Mommy?”
You paced closer. Joel’s jaw clenched.
“Obedient little housewife?” you sneered.
Your eyes were shining like two derisive pools. With every blink, you seemed to mock him more. Goad him on and beg for your reward, though you hardly knew what it was.
“C’mon, Mr. Miller,” you chided, voice low, “What is it?”
What he was, or what he’d stand to take. It wasn’t this.
“Keep runnin’ that fuckin’ mouth, I’ll show you what.”
The words flew off his tongue before he could stop them.
It was a reflex—something that had been stewing in his mind since the second you’d set foot in his room and went on provoking him. But it was wrong, of course.
He was wrong for even thinking it, much less saying it.
Now your eyes were round, and your mouth was slightly agape, and your brain was likely working a thousand miles a minute to process what had just been said.
Joel had to fix it.
“That— that ain’t—” he began, already hating himself.
To his surprise, and embarrassment, a laugh rang out.
Its sound was explosive and short. It split the air with such hot, bitter force that his words dropped off. His gaze had no choice but to remain plastered on yours.
“Oh, I bet.”
You grinned, humorless.
You didn’t appear shocked in the slightest. In fact, his remark seemed only to embolden you then, as you teased that smile wider, drew yourself closer, and tipped your chin up. You looked doubly enlivened by his last admission. Vindicated in some strange, inexplicable way. Your breaths were warm, and the swell of your breasts came to hover just inches from his chest when the last thing he needed to happen, happened between you next.
You pointed again. Joel didn’t need to look down.
“‘Don’t tell me how to be a father,’” you repeated his words from before, voice taking on a low, faux baritone.
Your amusement was clear. His cock was hard.
It seemed you’d never let the latter slip past you.
“Is that what we’re gettin’ at here, Mr. Miller?” you asked, tone now precocious. Probing, “You showing me what a great daddy you are, and me being the mommy you al—”
“No.”
Joel pushed off. He didn’t want to hear another thing.
He headed straight for the door, prepared to usher you out of it. This conversation had taken an irreparable turn.
When he reached for the handle, though, he had to stop. Your voice made him stop, echoing from the opposite end of the room. Joel turned, and he saw you on his bed.
“I’m just curious. Is that really what you meant?”
You were sitting at the foot of it, legs casually hanging off. Your look was innocent, and still more knowing than Joel could bear. The heat left to swirl in his groin nearly suffocated him below the waist, and he inhaled deeply.
“Mean what? I didn’t…mean anything.”
His touch fell from the doorknob all the same.
Your feet were swinging when he faced you completely.
“Just like you didn’t mean for Sarah to call me mommy?”
Maybe he had meant it more than he let on. He couldn’t answer. Joel felt every bit the creep he knew himself to be—decades your senior and letting you rest on his bed, soft, smooth legs kicking back and forth as he watched.
He was good at that, wasn’t he? Watching. Waiting. Aching from the comfort of his home office while he watched those filthy clips on repeat, images of you flitting through his mind at every stretch, moan, and whimper. His will was powerless to his perverted needs. He had only to defend himself against their influence by planting his feet firmly in place and refusing to move.
“You wanna teach me, though. Don’t you, daddy?”
It was as though your words reached him from another place. Somewhere deep within the recesses of his mind—his memory—and the tone of it stirred him. It was familiar, in ways you couldn’t have possibly understood. Unless you were living in his head, there was no way in hell you could’ve known what those lines meant to him.
‘Gonna teach ya, honey. Teach ya how to please a man.’
It made him ache.
Joel still wouldn’t move, but you could come to him.
He blinked once, and you were there. Off the bed. Walking to him. Down on your knees in front of him.
This had to be the work of his own sick imagination.
He groaned at just the sight of your smile, curving slow.
And then you peeled off your top, revealing the bright, nylon, cherry-red fabric he’d seen far too many times on his computer screen and off it—on you, by his pool. Joel sucked in a breath and shook his head, gaze darkening.
“Thought you didn’t wanna play mommy,” he growled.
If this was all just in his head, he could talk as he wanted.
“I don’t,” you answered him soberly. Suddenly, your chin was in his hand. Your eyes were still glistening up at him. “But you need to get this out of your system. Just once.”
Out of his system.
Joel was out of his fucking mind with desire.
“Just once?” His voice cracked as he said it.
Only one time. That was alright. Forgivable.
From what he half-believed to be a figment of his own perverted mind came the word from your lips: ‘Once.’
The next had the thumb that was cupping your chin slipping between those same lips. Still smiling while your mouth slid down to his knuckle. You sucked him gently.
And in just one glimpse, one fleeting second on that lone, thick thumb, the sight below him had every other obscene thing entrenched in his memory beat by a mile. You were better than everything else he’d seen or tried to dream up. You were real, he hoped, sliding your shiny wet lips up and down the surface of his skin, and when you pried them off, and you asked for his cock, he had no choice but to oblige. He had to rack his brain for words.
This was his babysitter, his daughter’s companion, his—
“Sweet fuckin’ girl,” he said when he first felt you there.
Before he even knew what became of his belt, buckle, and zip, the base of his cock was in your hand, and your lips were hovering precariously over the tip. Your breaths were soft and hot. Your graze drank him in with curiosity.
“Should I kiss you here, daddy?” Your mouth lowered.
“Right there, sweetie,” Joel breathed out.
He truly couldn’t believe it when the warmth of you enveloped his tip. When the first lick of your tongue came to collect the bead of precum sitting at the slit and he damn near bucked his hips up. You licked at it again.
And again. And again. And again.
You whimpered lightly, enjoying the taste.
The second you pulled your mouth away, Joel hissed.
“Baby, please—” he started, tone strained.
“What? Where does daddy want it?”
The question was so innocent.
It was clear you wanted to hear him guide you through it, as evidenced by the way your lips twitched at his hand smoothing down and over the crown of your head. Joel held it like he might never get this chance again, and, at once, his voice lowered along with it. He scarcely recognized himself with how gently he spoke then.
“Let daddy show you,” he said, “Open your mouth.”
And you did.
Your jaw fell slack, your lips split apart, and your eyes peered up with a wide and open stare. In a look, you seemed already to say that you trusted him to fill it.
No sight on a screen could’ve made him so hard.
He fed you an inch, eyes locked with yours as he did. His cock slid in another, and another, then stopped. He pulled back. The wetness and the warmth of your mouth nearly did him in, and the way you whined for more had him fisting your hair tight. Trying to keep his composure.
“That alright, honey? Feel…nice goin’ in?”
“Yes, daddy,” you hummed obediently.
Your mouth opened wider.
“More, please?”
Your tongue was flattened in a second. Joel slid back in, and his shaft was greeted by the slick, shiny cushion of the muscle underneath. He sank in. He invaded every inch of your mouth he could find, and he breathed out.
“Just like that, sweetie. Takin’ daddy so well.”
What little gurgles he heard stifled between your lips at that, spit drooling gently from either side, he only found more endearing. When he pulled back and saw strings of your spit trail after its path, he felt delirious. You were real, coating the whole throbbing length of his cock with your saliva and your precious soft whines, and you were sweet for him. Pliant for his cock. Jaw obliging and inviting and hanging wide open for him to fuck again.
He let you have it. He slid in once, grazed your throat, slid out again. He cupped your face in his hands and thumbed your cheeks. He coaxed your lips wider for him. You took it all well; you responded to every tender little directive from the man who was stuffing your mouth, ‘Faster now, atta girl’ and ‘Take daddy deeper’ and ‘Keep that pretty mouth open and those eyes on me.’ Joel was so caught up in the feel and the friction and the intimacy of every passing moment that he almost didn’t see when you started to shift your legs. Parting them.
And, right when the head of his cock had reached the back of your mouth and was teasing down your wet, open throat, he felt it fully: your whimpering plea.
You grinding your cunt against the toe of his boot, and peering up at him with eyes all wet, wide, and needy.
You rutted your hips. It looked like you couldn’t help it.
It seemed as though it were a mere spasm of the body that you couldn’t control—like his cock down your throat was too good for your sense or your oversexed mind to handle. He’d scarcely stirred in place when he felt you humping him, whines rippling down his length with every bob of your head as you keened for some kind of release.
Joel had never seen anything like it. He didn’t know what to say or do except stroke his hand over your scalp and pin you with a look. His cock twitched in your mouth.
“Is that how we ask to get fucked in this house?”
His tone surprised him with how steady it stayed.
Your mouth still full of him, you tried to shake your head.
What came next was more instinct than logical thought; Joel pulled you off his cock and onto your feet. His touch on your body was soft. He couldn’t pinpoint a reason for his being so gentle, but every second that elapsed now seemed to demand it. He was teaching you to please. There could be no better place for kindness than here.
He’d lead you to the bed and guide you down himself. He’d tell you to open your mouth and then he would kiss it, and lick inside it. Maybe spit inside it, too. He’d tug at your bikini straps, watch your breasts give way to the pressure of the pull before bouncing right back in place. He’d take off your top. Latch his mouth around a nipple, swirl his tongue across the skin, and he’d kiss you again.
Joel did all these things, and you let him. You met him with whimpers, with wide open legs, and eventually, with your feet digging into the covers beneath you, begging, ‘Daddy, please put it in.’ Your gaze was febrile as you did.
Whether you meant it, or were simply pretending for him, gave Joel pause. Just as you’d tried to yank your jean shorts down your legs, he dropped his hands to your own. He stopped them in their path. He leaned closer.
“Do you know what you and me are about to do, hm?”
His question was barbed but sweet. Testing the waters.
Were you game to keep playing house? Did you want it?
These things mattered to Joel; whether the wetness between your legs was meant for him and him alone. Whether you needed him there, like the breath in your lungs. He wouldn’t fuck you if he wasn’t. He might feel lonely at times—desperate to feel your cunt squeeze his too-old cock like your life depended on it—but he was a man who wanted to be wanted, too. An instant of clarity hit, and suddenly he was asking it, plain and in your face:
“Do you wanna do what mommies and daddies do?”
Your mouth fell slack. Again. You nodded.
Either you were the single best actress, or you wanted it. Hoping desperately for the latter, Joel kissed the side of your face. You turned your head, quickly, and captured his lips in yours instead. You pulled him down to you.
“Like this?” you murmured, words muffled against him.
You wrapped your legs around his waist and then ground your clothed lower half with his—Joel’s cock was tucked haphazardly back in his boxers, and his jeans, unzipped, hung just underneath them around his hips. He felt like a teen again, clothes thrown askew and hormones all wild.
Except he wasn’t. He was a grown man, in his own bed, with his child fast asleep down the hall. He thanked his lucky stars that their rooms were as far apart as possible, and that he no longer had to worry about the prying eyes of his mom or dad trying to catch him out after curfew. This wasn’t high school, or a night out in college, or the time a condom had split and Sarah had been conceived.
Now if he could just make sure she didn’t get a sibling…
Kidding.
“Pill,” Joel choked out, just as your legs drew him in to meet your movements, “Are— are you on the pill, or—”
Am I going to have to hit up a Texaco at 10 PM to get some rubbers and admit I haven’t gotten laid in a year?
You grinned.
“IUD.”
That works, too.
Joel probably shouldn’t have seemed so eager. He probably shouldn’t have taken your face in his hands and kissed you so hard, either. But his skin was ablaze; his eyes were wild; his limbs were molten; and his head—you didn’t want to know where it was. What he was thinking.
What he wanted to tell you while he tugged his cock back out and started working his hand up and down it. It felt too intimate, too depraved, to be spoken aloud.
Then, to his shock, you said the words yourself:
“Show me how you’d make me a mommy anyway.”
If not for protection. If not for common sense. If not for that thrumming, pulsing, warning repetition in his head: Do not get her pregnant. Do not give your kid a sibling.
But this was all pretend, wasn’t it?
Joel yanked down your shorts, practically tore them from your legs, and situated himself between them, breathing hard and fast, before he nodded his head and kissed you. With his one free hand, he held the base of his dick, and he guided it closer to your slick, puffy, aching entrance through the barrier of your red bikini. He rutted his hips.
You were bare beneath him, save for that one scrap of fabric between your lower half and his. You smiled, and you wriggled your body against his, and you drew him in. Joel groaned when he felt you slide your bottoms to the slide and let him feel, for the first time, how wet you were. How warm, inviting, and tight that cunt must be and how badly he needed it. How desperately he had to be buried inside that heat—he all but panted the words:
“Can daddy put it in?”
You spread your legs wider. You nodded.
Then he did. Without one breath of a thought to the contrary, he pushed the head of himself past the fabric, through your folds, into that wet and precious spot he’d only dreamed he’d ever feel, and he let out a full-throated moan. He felt your walls contract, heard the tender little squelch of your body making room for his length, and he damn near blew his whole load right there. You felt good.
Your chest rose with a breath, and your eyes widened.
Like you hadn’t just had him down your throat, drenched in your spit and gliding in and out: “He’s so big, daddy.”
Joel’s lips kissed your cheek. His tip kissed your cervix. You whined a little, and he pulled you in closer to him.
“I know, honey, I know,” he cooed, rocking you with the softest motions, “Ain’t that what mommy likes, though?”
Your lips parted again. A strangled whine of assent slid out, just as his hips withdrew himself back to that shiny, bulbous head, and then he fucked back in. Back and forth, back and forth, Joel sent your body bouncing with every thrust. He felt you clench, and the strokes sped up.
The bed creaked underneath. It seemed to shake the whole room. In truth, there wasn’t a thought in Joel’s head except for the ones relating to you and how good you took his cock, but somewhere, not far off, there was the instinct of a father idling too. With every stab of the headboard against the wall and every moan of yours under him he had to smother with his lips, he was reminded you two had to be quiet. He leaned in.
Grazing your ear with a stubbled chin, and fucking you gently into his bed, Joel sank his weight even lower.
“Can mommy stay real quiet for daddy? Can she try?”
From the way your eyes were glazed, he expected you to nod. And you did, just barely, heels digging in the mound of his ass and your fingers finding his sides. But then you slid a touch up his ribs; you squeezed the flesh. You let him pound your cunt for a few more precious seconds, and just when he thought that was the end of it, you tilted your head to him. Your nose bumped his, and you grinned, flashing the single most pretty, fucked-out look.
“Feels like a fucking dream, daddy,” you breathed.
Joel balked. He almost stopped right then and there.
Please! Feels like a fucking dre-e-e-e-e-eam—oh, OH!
Oh.
You couldn’t have known that.
There was no shot you knew where the fuck those words were from. Or what they meant. Joel furrowed his brow and kept rutting his hips, hands tightening in the sheets beside your head as the scene from his naughty all-time favorite film flickered briefly through his mind. No shot.
Then your legs wound around the backs of his even tighter, and your eyes were all but shining with a fresh, twisted glint. With a measured tone, you went on for him:
“He’s so big, daddy. Feels so good going inside me.”
You even mimicked her tone. Joel paled above you.
His hips stalled a moment, and your cunt hugged him tight. Your teeth nipped at his chin, playfully, and before he could even try to speak again, your lips were there.
At his ear, whispering what he’d dreaded hearing most.
“You should really clear those PornHub searches after you’re done. Or at least lock your office while I’m here.”
Joel’s thrusts stopped completely.
He was about to search for his voice again, when your walls clamped down around him, and his vision went swimming. His cock pulsed inside you, and he groaned.
Then his hips picked up; it wasn’t a conscious decision. He just needed to fuck, needed to finish, needed to see the light twinkle and burst behind your eyes while he stuffed your cunt full. It didn’t matter what you knew—your lips were curled in such a sweet, smug smile below him, there was likely no use in trying to explain himself now. Joel just gritted his teeth, and he tried smiling back. He fucked you faster, and harder, than he’d done before.
When you clawed at his back, the pace grew merciless. Every inch of the space around him, it seemed, was filled with the sounds of skin slapping skin, whimpers, and moans. As before, Joel almost didn’t recognize his voice.
‘That so?’ was all it could manage to get out at present.
With your cunt fluttering repeatedly, hips rolling with his own, and those lips letting moans spill out one after the next, it was all he could do to try to keep his composure.
Joel kissed you, and then he flipped your body around. He moved back to find the headboard and rest himself against it, got your legs straddling his, and slid you down
Down, down, down on his cock. Stretching you out. Then moving you back up again. Making you bounce in his lap and have your hands fumble to find his shoulders. You squeezed his biceps and moaned, and at the same time, his slick-smeared lower half rutted to greet yours. Your essence drenched him; he could feel it soak straight through the black-and-gray hairs at the base of his cock.
You looked perfect like this—better than any girl on camera could’ve been. Your hips rolled, and you moaned while sliding up and down on his dick, again and again. Joel felt the trembling pulse through your body and his, groaned at the grip of your cunt around him, and helped you ride him. With one hand at the small of your back and the other cupping your face, he held you close to him. Your pace quickened, and the hand at your chin made its way to your throat, to hold you firmly there.
Joel had a thumb on your pulse and his eyes raking over your writhing form when he felt compelled to talk again.
Share a truth, since all the rest was coming out anyway.
He didn’t think so much as feel it flow from there, like the blood rushing through his veins. Joel winced at a fresh influx of pleasure and let you grind on him twice more. Then he was gripping you tighter, fucking up into you harder, and he was skimming his teeth along your skin. As a knot coiled deep within his stomach, he let it out:
“Wanna cum inside this pussy, baby. Fill her up with me.”
The head of his cock struck a dizzying blow to someplace close to your cervix, and you held him tighter.
“Yeah, Mr. Miller?” You couldn’t help the teasing tone.
You fought a breathless laugh, then were forced to suck in a gasp of air just as quick; his length sheathed itself inside you completely, and Joel’s grip constricted on your throat. He kissed you. He lapped his tongue into your mouth while he fucked up into you, again and again.
You whined, and he mumbled against you, “That’s right.”
You hissed at him deep in your guts, and he went on:
“Gonna stuff her full. Make her wet and messy and drippin’ with me. Show mommy how much daddy lov—”
He cut himself short. His balls were heavy, full, and ready to paint you white, but that line was a touch too far, even now. He couldn’t say it outright and not sound like a fucking creep, no matter how deep in this roleplay you happened to be. Joel squeezed your hips and grunted.
And, for what felt like the fifteenth time that night, you surprised him. Your chin tilted to his, your lips brushed against his mouth, and you smiled, again. It was tender.
“How much does daddy love me, hm? Show me.”
Your walls clenched at the end of the last sentence, and Joel couldn’t help but groan in your mouth. His eyes lifted to yours, and in your gaze, he found anything but incredulity—you already knew what he felt, somehow.
“Sarah tell you that, too? That I love you?” he growled.
He’d said it once. At the time, he hadn’t thought he’d meant it at all, but the words just sounded so good when it came to you. Sarah had asked him if he’d wanted you to be her mommy someday, if he loved you like a daddy loves a mommy, and he’d said he did. Looking back, it hadn’t felt half as good as it did right now: peering into your eyes, feeling your warmth swallow him whole, and sensing you were nearing your climax, all because of him. It made him want to say it over again, now face-to-face.
Be it roleplay, fantasy, fixation—he needed to say it now.
���Daddy does love you,” he went on, before you could even respond. His pelvis rutted against yours, and his gaze stayed steeped in desire as he felt you grip harder, “Loves you so damn much he wants to stuff a big load in that pretty little cunt. Make you his. That alright by you?”
Your gaze went blank in an instant. Your lips twitched.
Something delectably wet, tight, and far too tempting shuddered someplace inside you, and with pride, Joel sensed the remnants of it leak out and smear his tummy. You liked that idea. Still, you seemed hesitant as your teeth snagged your bottom lip between them. You drew one steadying breath, and you slowed your movements.
“I’ve never…had that,” you admitted quietly.
Then that sticky-sweet embrace your cunt held him in got even wetter. Like your mind wasn’t fully on-board, but your body was all in. You were close, by the feel of it.
But Joel would only give what you were fully ready to take. At length, he lowered one hand to the small of your back, and his thumb rubbed at the skin. He let you feel him in only the shallowest of strokes, bouncing you softly
“Ain’t gotta be inside, then,” he murmured, assuring, “I’ll shoot this load wherever mommy tells me to go, alright?”
That made you whimper.
From there, your mind seemed to be decided all at once.
“Cum inside. I-I want it.”
Joel swallowed thickly.
“You sure, sugar? I can—”
Suddenly, your hips were stirring. They started up quicker than before, and your hand was swift to plant itself flat on his chest, as though to stabilize yourself.
“Cum. In. Me.”
It was the most decisive, and desperate, you’d sounded all night. Your gaze flitted to his, and in it, he saw a plea.
With a look like that, Joel knew he couldn’t make you wait. He wouldn’t make you wait. Trying not to smirk as he did, he leaned in and kissed you, and felt you drip more arousal as something knotted in your belly. He smoothed your hair away and delivered the gentlest thrusts from below—he knew it wouldn’t take much.
“Mama goes first,” he prodded. He felt you tense, and clench, and leak a little more down his front, and when the head of cock nicked a soft ridge, he groaned, too. “Cum for daddy now and he’ll give you his load, OK?”
Then his touch slipped between your legs. You keened.
“Daddy, I—” you hiccuped, grip tightening like a vice when his thumb found your clit and started rubbing.
Joel circled faster.
“Breathe, baby. Breathe.”
“I can’t,” you cried, “Feels too—”
Good. Your body seemed to finish for you.
It started with a pulse. Then a pinch. A trickling warmth. Joel hardly knew what else to do but keep rubbing that little pearl between your folds, even when you started to gush around his hand. It wet his tummy; it drenched all the hairs around the base of his cock, and still, he kept thumbing your clit and rocking you back and forth above him. He let you cry out and bite his shoulder while your climax tore through you, and though he knew you had to be quiet, he couldn’t help but relish the sound. He smiled
“That’s it. That’s my girl. Give it to daddy.”
And, while he also told you to keep breathing and let him have it all, he was right here—in a matter of seconds, he was slipping off, too. He couldn’t hope to try and stop it. With one more pulse of your walls, you groaned and got your wet, spent, needy hole stuffed full of him, just how you’d asked. Joel flooded your insides with his seed and kept you fucked straight down to the hilt so he wouldn’t see a drop of himself escape. He hugged you tight and heard you whine at that primal sensation, getting pumped with rope after rope of his cum, then he felt your limbs go limp. Joel kissed the side of your face. He cradled you, held you securely in place, and let the last of his spend paint your walls in a couple more gentle spurts
When it was over, he stroked your back. He sensed the aftershocks of your climax pass through your tired frame, and he made sure not to rock you too hard against him. He just wanted you to feel that he was there, if the heft of his cum and his cock still deep inside you wasn’t enough.
His head grew clearer, too. While still drawing short, ragged breaths in time, he managed to find the words that had evaded him before—what he should’ve said.
“‘M’sorry,” he mumbled into your hair.
You just nuzzled your face deeper.
“Don’t be.”
“But I—”
Then you tilted your head—enough for your gaze to meet with his, briefly, and tell him all that he needed to hear.
“You’re a good dad, Joel.”
He opened his mouth, but you were already pressing on.
“And I don’t…mind if Sarah calls me what she wants for now. I’m sure you’ll find someone great to be her mom someday, and then this whole thing won’t even matter.”
For some reason, the sound of it made Joel wince.
He couldn’t quite place the feeling, but he knew he didn’t want you thinking that. His grip constricted around you.
“No,” he muttered, indistinct. Defiant.
“No?”
You almost laughed.
It was insane, admittedly—just last night he’d been dreaming of the feel of you in the grip of his fist, wishing for nothing but his own release and a fleeting thought of your body underneath him, and here he was, doing this.
You’d said it was a one-and-done deal, and maybe it was.
But for him, maybe, it wasn’t. He’d be remiss not to try.
If you shot him down and left him to pine and meander through the manifold archives of PornHub for the rest of his horny life, that would be alright. At least he had tried.
With these thoughts thrumming through his brain, Joel was about to pull you closer and venture to speak again, when, for the second time, his words were cut short. His voice was presently supplanted by a sound that startled you both, and in a moment, he recognized what it was.
A knock.
“Da-a-a-a-a-a-addy?”
Shit.
He nearly caught a knee to the gut with how quickly you tried scrambling off his lap, limbs revived and frantic and desperate to get your clothes back on before that tiny voice could resume its speech—or get a hand to the door
“Yeah, sweetie? Give— give daddy a—” ‘Fuck!’ he cursed under his breath as he tripped over your shorts on the floor, “—a minute. I’ll be right there. Just gimme a sec.”
Joel fell. You floundered. His hand snagged the edge of the bed before he hit the ground fully, while you set off across the room to fight the strings of your bikini top and wrestle the thing on. The second you sensed that battle was lost, you grabbed your shirt instead. You were just yanking it on, and Joel was just regaining his bearings and about to chuck your shorts your way, when a voice through the door stopped the two of you cold—again.
To your horror, it was hopeful. Too sweet to be real.
“Can I sleep with you and mommy tonight?”
You could’ve soundly beat Joel’s ass with that pretty, skimpy swimsuit in your grasp and not regretted a thing, if he had to guess by the look you were flashing him now.
He didn’t blame you. His hands shot up in silent defense.
“Mommy— mommy’s not here, honey. She went home.” Joel shortly tried, and failed, to keep the pretense of innocence alive, all while dodging the first swing of your bikini’s bra at his head. He ducked; you struck a lamp.
He jumped back, a wordless grin stretching his lips as he righted that fixture fast. With one look, it seemed to say:
I’m so, so sorry, baby.
But inside his head, he couldn’t help but admit this was a little bit funny. Probably sensing this, you swung again.
“Yes, she is! I heard her,” Sarah huffed outside.
Joel was sliding up his jeans. Apologizing with his eyes and also trying not to crack an even bigger smile at you.
“Don’t be silly, Sar—”
“You’re having a sleepover!” she accused.
Well, in a manner of speaking.
Joel had just buckled his belt and redid his zip when a flash of red nylon smacked him in the face. Playfully.
You were evidently beginning to fight a grin like his, dropping the feigned indignation and pacing closer.
“Sleeping my ass—” you started in a whisper.
And you were about to chase him again, or else propose jumping from the window to get out now and save face, maybe, when Joel felt an old, familiar feeling crop up inside him. Like before, it wasn’t the kind of urge he could fight; his instincts took over, and he did it swiftly.
Admittedly, the timing was terrible—but he kissed you.
He pressed his lips to your own and relished the feeling. He grabbed both sides of your face and walked you back to the bed—the same one drenched in sweat and your release, which he’d definitely need to change in a minute—and for a fleeting moment, it was all he needed. Your mouth was on his, grinning a little and promising silently that if Sarah ever does walk in on us, I’m gonna kill you.
Against his better judgment, he pushed you back on the bed. He dropped his weight over your body and kept the kiss ongoing, feeling need surge inside for something far beyond the physical. It couldn’t be ‘one-and-done’ here.
But for now, at least, in spite of his feelings, it had to be.
Joel didn’t want to let go or stop kissing, but the next second left no room for much else, unfortunately. His daughter’s voice returned, and the words that followed proved impossible to ignore, for either one of you then.
All color drained from his face, and your eyes widened.
“I heard mommy screaming before. Is she alright?”
4K notes · View notes
sadesluvr · 3 months ago
Text
TEETH.
Sergei Kravinoff might be a villian, and you a hero; but at the end of the day you're both animals.
A/N: First fic in a while so my bad if it sucks. You already know this movie was basically ass but we only watched it for ATJ anyway - I'm changing some of Kraven's character so he's similar to the comics/Spider-Man 2 game, so be sure to read the tags bc he’s a lil dark…
Word count: 2.3K
Tags: SMUT / DUB-CON / Spiderwoman! Reader / Breeding / Unprotected + rough sex
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Kraven feared nothing. 
It simply wasn’t in his blood; not his staunchly machismo upbringing, nor in his DNA, quite literally having that of a lion. Fear made one weak. Fear made you less of a man. Fear was what killed his mother. 
If anything, fear was just another animal; ready to be captured, killed and conquered, ultimately destined to be draped across his chiselled body or mounted on a wall.  
You were simply no different. 
He never really understood why people were afraid of spiders, but he knew that they were a nuisance, having haunted him since he was a boy. Spiders weren’t savages like lions or bears, but they were sneaky; crawling around in the dark and waiting to strike, with a face so obscured that you’d never really know what you were looking at...what they were thinking.  
But now, with your mask off, he could see you clearly. Fear; clouding your eyes and consuming your lungs as you heaved, choking on the intensity of the emotion itself as your pupils darted between the beige, bloodied teeth on his necklace and a crossbow pointed right at your heart. 
“So, you’re the insect causing me all this trouble?” the man mused; legs crossed upon a desk as he eyed you. “I should’ve known.” 
“Should’ve known what? You know nothing about me.”  
“You’re a girl.” 
“Sexist, much.” 
He chuckled. 
“Far from it. My father, however, was quite the traditionalist. He would’ve done much worse by now.” 
There was a heavy silence as you swiped at your bottom lip. Much to your dismay, blood had begun to dry, and you were left with a salty, scratchy throat. Liquid, some of any kind, would’ve been appreciated, but you knew all too well that Kraven wasn’t one for showing mercy. Like all the villains you’d encountered, you’d had a push-pull relationship with the Hunter since the very beginning. He created a plan; you foiled it, sometimes you’d get your ass beat but the ending was almost always the same – with you safe from harm's way, and a bloodthirsty ego chipped away, but momentarily put to rest. 
On this occasion you’d slipped up, your Spidey-senses failing you and placing you right into harm's way, shipped into the back of a van and somehow escorted to a somewhat uncharacteristically lavish mansion.  
You'd always found Kraven to be a man of contradictions; whether he realised it or not. He was the best and worst of both worlds, a hunter with all the grit of someone who’d been fighting their entire life as a poverty-stricken rogue, and yet you’d come to learn that he was a Russian aristocrat, hence his rather extensive knowledge and unrelenting desire for control. Still, nothing took away from the fact that he was a brute, not even his strikingly good looks. 
“Just shoot me and be over it,” You continued, watching as he lowered his feet from atop the desk and strolled over to you.  “You didn’t need to drag me all the way here.” 
He looked even bigger than usual, but perhaps it was because you were perched uncomfortably on a chair, arms bound behind you as you craned your neck to look up at him. Your mind couldn’t - no, didn’t - want to fathom what he was thinking of you from this angle. 
“Don’t get me wrong, I care nothing about your secret. I just wanted to look you in the eye.” He mused, rummaging through his back pockets. Your breath hitched in your throat as he slid a knife from its sheath, finely carved and sharpened and lowered it to his side before pacing around you, stopping as his firm torso pressed up against the tip of your neck. Squeezing your eyes shut, you braced for your neck to be split open, only to be released from your bounds.  
Instinctively, you went to shoot some webs, hoping you could at least catapult yourself across the room, but he tightly grasped your wrists, steadying your arms in place.  
“I wouldn’t try anything if I were you,” he sneered. “These are antiques.” 
You rolled your eyes. 
“Fuck you.” 
“Get up,” he announced suddenly, almost dragging you to your feet. Hesitantly, you began to shuffle out of the room, overwhelmed by the seemingly endless walls and corridors, all framed in ivory and the finest mahogany. “Keep walking until I tell you to stop.” 
You continued down the hall, opting for a straight line. It seemed to be the correct way as once you passed into the threshold of a room that had a velvet chaise lounges and a dresser, he dropped his hands from their grip on your own, closing the door behind you. Oddly enough, you never heard the click of a latch. 
Without a word, he walked past you to open the drawer, rummaging through the contents. It utterly baffled you why you didn’t feel the urge to protest, or even fight. The entire ordeal was feeling more like a glorified house tour with a side of intimidation rather than a future crime scene. 
Was it because he was handsome? Wild? Filthy rich? Whatever happened to your values? Perhaps Jameson was right.  
Your thoughts were interrupted by the man placing something in the desk, curling his finger to beckon you towards him.  
“See this? This is what keeps me going,”he said, rolling a vial of florescent liquid in his fingertips.  “You and I are more alike than you think.” 
You scoffed, trying to ignore how close he was to you. He had an earthly musk that invaded your senses, sending tingles down your spine… and to your core. 
“I don’t need a drug to do what I do.” 
“Never mind the drug. It’s our blood that makes us strong.” 
You cocked a brow and he ignored your confused look. 
“You know, I’ve always hated spiders…” he began, rubbing his beard in contemplation.  “Too itchy; unpredictable. You never really know where they’re going to show up. If I ever saw one, I used to pop them like a zit.” 
There was a clear disgust in his words and vacant look in his eye that sunk you into a pit of fear for perhaps the first time since regaining your consciousness. You knew that it was just about you (surely), but perhaps a weird extension of your being; something bigger, far more innate than a girl in a spandex spider suit. 
“But then I realised that for their size, they’re deadly. Powerful, even. Recently I’ve wondered what it would look like if I harnessed it myself.” 
You swallowed, suddenly conscious of your dry throat once more. 
“A drop of blood usually does the trick.” 
He tutted. Perhaps you were being too fickle. 
“No, любимец [darling], not that way. I crave something more.” 
Your eyes darted to the lounge. Since when did Spider-Woman lack composure? Kraven’s impenetrable gaze followed your own, and he chuckled knowingly. 
“With your arachnid abilities and my strength, we could create something truly unique. Nature has its ways, you know.” 
“You’re sick,” you replied, your chin held high but your bottom lip wobbled. “I’ll never join you. What you do is immoral.” 
Kraven furrowed his brows. 
“You killed a man, and you talk about morality?” 
“He was a bad man.” 
“He was my brother.” 
The word humanised him a bit. The Chameleon wasn’t your most imposing foe, but he was still a challenge you’d been rather glad to conquer. It was all too often that you’d fallen into the trap of thinking that the world was black and white; good and bad, when occasionally it was grey. Kraven was allowed to grieve his brother, but at the end of the day they were both bad guys. 
Then why did he turn you on so much? 
“You don’t have to resist,” the man grinned, strolling towards you. He stopped, glancing down and reaching a hand up to cup the sides of your face, caressing your cheekbones and sides of your lip with his thumb, threatening to penetrate your mouth. “I’ve never been this close to you before…I can smell you.” 
You were both superhuman, but he had the thirst of a predator. Quite literally. Breath hitched in your throat as he angled his lips to your ear, whispering a few fatal words. 
“Give in, маленький паучок [little spider]. Your body yearns for me.” 
One large hand was wrapped around your neck as he kissed you, his wild beard scratching against your face as his other hand snaked down your suit, down to between your thighs. The latex did nothing to offer you safety, his callouses prodding at your wet slit and beginning to rub in small circles, oh-so internationally slow, making sure he pressed against the hood of your clit. 
He had you as soon as a small moan escaped your lips. It’d been a while since you’d been touched, let a alone by someone who was as well-travelled as The Hunter himself, and every kiss, nibble and squeeze was sending you into a deeper spiral of lust and guilt that you could barely fathom that you’d already made your way to the lounge. 
You pulled away as your calves collided with the frame, lips wet and parted as you glanced up at him – wholly helplessly. His hand remained firm on your face, angling his head as he smirked at your shielded demeanour, a far cry from the flashy superhero you’d been but an hour ago.  
“Kra—“ 
“Don’t call me that,” he said through gritted teeth. “Call me Sergei. I need to hear you say it.” 
The name rolled from your lips as a cry as he bunched the sides of your suit in his hands and tearing it apart, exposing your bare pussy and ass, with strands of fabric shaping your legs like a makeshift garter. He grinned, large hands frantically groping at your thighs and ass, spreading your cheeks apart and exposing your hot core to the cool air. 
“прекрасный.” [Gorgeous] he moaned, swatting at your ass before dipping his fingers inside you, rubbing your folds between his fingers as you coated him in your juices. Grasping your hands around his thick neck, you clung onto what you could as he explored your body, lowering you down onto the smooth velvet. 
It wasn’t long before he straddled you, holding your body down with his pelvis as he removed his jacket, giving you an eyeful of his crafted torso. Unsurprisingly, he had the body of a God, with a prominent v-line and happy trail pointing down to between his legs. Even through his heavy trousers you could make out his bulge, mounded and ready for you. 
You gasped in anticipation, watching as the man withdrew his cock from his briefs; red and girthy, with precum spilling from his tip. Skilfully, he spread your thighs, making sure they were safely by your sides (he’d seen how flexible you were, your ankles touching your ears was nothing) and lifting your lower back slightly off the cushions, pushing into you with a deep sigh. 
At first, his intrusion was a dull ache, but as he began to move his hips against your own you felt utterly fulfilled, moaning and writhing as he wasted no time in daggering your wanting pussy, making sure you felt every inch.  
“Sergei...” you cried, eyes fluttering shut as you flung your head back in pleasure. “Please...” 
“Say it again.” 
Words evaded you. 
The man grinned, flashing his canines as he tightened his grip, compelling him to fuck you harder. The whole ordeal was obscene; New York’s most treasured hero being bent into submission by the villain of the week, a scene so heinous that it was all the more endearing, and with every thrust you knew you wanted him more. Sergei didn’t care whether his combat boots scuffed the fine upholstery, or if his grip on your waist would leave a few bruises – he just wanted to own you. 
He huffed as his heavy balls slammed repeatedly against your crack, beginning to bottom out in you with every hit, so much so that it looked like you were conjoined.
Even through the strain in your legs you could tell you were close, knots in your stomach slowly beginning to unravel as your walls clenched around him, earning a delighted rumble from deep within his chest. 
You knew that he wasn’t one for talk, but you would’ve appreciated the warning that he was about to come. Every guy you’d been with tended to get sloppier, but he grew stronger, the literal animal in him taking over as he began to ramble and curse through gritted teeth in Russian.  
Sergei threw his head back as he held you down, hands pawing your breasts and strands of hair sprawled in a beautiful mess across his face as he came, ropes of hot white cum spilling into your pussy just as you dressed his cock in a silky sheen. Your chests heaved as you desperately tried to come down from your high, glancing down at your messy nether regions as his seed began to seep out of you.  
There was no going back. Nine months began now. 
Would it really be all that bad? 
It all went back to fear, really. In the back of his mind the thought of a spider still troubled Sergei, but at least he’d conquered it. Even if it was temporary. 
FIN. 
2K notes · View notes
solelifauna · 3 months ago
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With Bared Teeth & Prayers (Yandere Batfam X Neglected Reader) (Dark!!! Werewolf AU) (PT. 2)
Hi guys, I’m alive. I’ve just been sick and then found out that my dog’s cancer spread and the surgery costs $3,000 which is insane. Anyways, I’ve been working irl so I completely forgot about this account. Sorry pookies🤕🙏.
If anyone wants to know I’m still taking commissions, and if my price doesn’t work for you I’m sure I can lower it!! Honestly, I’ll write for whatever price I’m lowkey desperate.😭🙏
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The next morning, you wake up in panic, shit, you slept in. You rush out the manor forgoing breakfast, almost eating shit on the sidewalk in your rush. You hop onto your bike, pedaling as if death itself was chasing you, huffing and puffing. Thankfully you make it to school on time, if only just on time.
You fall into your seat just as the bell rings, letting the top half of your body crumple over the desk.
“Looks like somebody had a rough morning.” The familiar voice of one of your best friends.
“Fuck off Quinn.” You huff out tiredly.
“Fine, then I guess this extra black coffee I got at Gloria’s is going to waste then.” She said teasingly.
How is it that she always has impeccable intuition about these things?
You groaned sitting up, giving Quinn a tired look.
“Yikes, I was gonna make another smartass joke but you look like you’re about to keel over.” She said worriedly, handing over the extra coffee.
“Ha ha, yeah I feel like I'm about to keel over. Thanks for the coffee by the way.” You said dryly.
“Don’t sweat it girl, but–uh, what the hell happened.”
“Too much dude, too much. It's so much bullshit I don't even know where to start.”
“Im guessing its about–”
“Ding, ding, ding, you got it.”
“Shit…how bad? They’re not gonna… you know…” Quinn stutters off.
“Kill me? Eat me?” 
She nodded.
You massage your forehead, a headache forming between your eyebrows. “I'll be so for real right now, I don't even know.”
“Damn, I don't even know what to say to that.” Quinn grimaces.
“It’d be weird if you did.” You joked giving her a sardonic smile.“Well if they’re gonna kill me, I hope they do it before finals.”
“You’ve got issues (Y/n).”
“I’m aware.”
Just then the chatter in the class started to pipe down as your history teacher, Mr. Lechliter, made his way into the room. However, something wasn’t right; his usually neat hair was in disarray and you could smell that he was profusely sweating. He was nervous, which was completely out of character. Sure Mr. Lechliter was awkward at times but he was normally confident and loud around the class, something was going on. 
“Good morning, class,” Mr. Lechliter began, but his voice was shaky, not at all the usual booming tone he used to command the room. “I-uh, hope you’re all ready to jump into… um, well, history.” He swallowed hard, glancing around as if searching for something—or someone—outside the door.
You look at Quinn with a raised eyebrow. What the hell is happening right now?
“We, um, actually have two guests who’ll be auditing a couple of classes today so we all want you guys on your best behavior. For our sakes and yours.” He said fidgeting with his paperweight globe, however, it was what he whispered under his breath that had you worried. What the fuck did he mean by that?!
“These guest speakers are one of the school's top sponsors so I truly cannot express the need we have for you all to behave and be on task, understand?” Mr. Lechliter spoke gravely.
The class let out a scattered “Yes” whilst others nodded. Now it was the class's turn to start getting nervous, the energy in the room now becoming quite grim. Seeing the class’s cooperation, Mr. Lechliter let out a shaky smile and nodded back at the class in approval. You sipped your coffee nervously in tandem.
“Good. Now, without further adieu, please welcome the esteemed Bruce Wayne and his son, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne.”
And in walked your worst nightmare as you choked on your coffee. A hesitant applause began as a couple of heads turned your way, including the scrutinizing eyes of Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake.
“Jesus Christ (Y/n), are you good?” Quinn whispered, patting your back.
“Does it look like I'm good, Quinn?” You whisper-yell back.
“Sorry, dumb question.”
“I legitimately can't do this right now.” You groan out quietly.
Tim’s sharp, calculating gaze landed on you, and for a split second, his lips twitched upward in what looked disturbingly close to satisfaction. Bruce, however, kept his gaze steady, stoic, making his way to the front of the class like he owned every square inch of the room—and maybe, in a way, he did.
Bruce stepped forward, greeting Mr. Lechliter with a firm handshake before addressing the class. “Good morning,” he said, his voice carrying a smooth authority. “It’s always a pleasure to see the next generation of Gotham’s finest minds, and today, we’re here to discuss some unique opportunities with Wayne Enterprises—partnerships, scholarships, and mentorship programs that may be of interest to you in your future studies.”
Meanwhile, Tim’s gaze remained fixed on you, a silent warning lingering behind his polite smile. You swallowed hard, avoiding eye contact, hoping that blending in might somehow make you invisible. But Tim had no intention of letting you off the hook. He leaned slightly closer to Bruce, murmuring something that made Bruce’s eyes flicker in your direction, his expression unreadable.
Quinn leaned over, her voice barely a whisper. “(Y/n), what the hell is going on? They keep looking at you.”
“Trust me, I wish I knew,” you muttered back, managing to take a sip of coffee without choking this time. “They’re just here to make my life a living nightmare, apparently.”
As Bruce and Tim began their presentation, outlining all the “wonderful opportunities” that a connection to Wayne Enterprises could bring, you couldn’t help but feel trapped. Every line, every subtle glance, seemed like a reminder that escape from their influence was impossible. They were inescapable, even here, in the one place you thought you could breathe.
When they finally wrapped up their presentation, Bruce offered to answer questions, his gaze settling on you for the briefest moment, as if daring you to speak up. You just nervously looked away, its fine, they’ve said their piece and will be leaving soon.
But of course life doesn't ever go the way that you want.
The relief that had started to settle in evaporated as Bruce and Tim made no move to leave. Instead, they took seats at the back of the classroom, settling in with that same poised, assessing presence that dominated every room they entered. Bruce folded his hands in his lap, his gaze steady and inscrutable, while Tim casually crossed his arms, his eyes tracking every student’s reaction, but always coming back to you.
You swallowed hard, glancing at Quinn, who was now just as unsettled as you were. “Are they… staying?” she whispered, her brows knitting together in worry.
“Looks like it,” you muttered, barely moving your lips.
Mr. Lechliter, visibly tense under the weight of their scrutiny, resumed his lesson with all the grace of a man on the edge of a breakdown. Every time he stumbled over his words or glanced nervously at Bruce, the room felt as if it held its breath.
“This, um, particular era in history…” Mr. Lechliter began, stammering slightly as he struggled to keep his usual confident tone. “It’s a time when alliances shifted often, and there was…constant jockeying for power…”
Bruce and Tim watched, expressions neutral, but you knew better than to believe their act. They weren’t here for any genuine interest in educational standards; they were here as a reminder, a warning that the Wayne influence extended beyond the manor walls.
You focused on your notebook, pen tapping anxiously against the paper as you tried to tune them out and take frantic notes. But it was impossible to ignore the cold prickle at the back of your neck. Every glance felt like a needle, each second stretching longer than the last.
Mr. Lechliter’s lecture painstakingly continued on for another thirty minutes before class started coming to an end.
The bell finally rang as you shot up out of your seat and practically sprinted out the door. You head to your locker, feeling the many starters of students and teachers bore into you. Another thing was that everyone kinda knew that the Wayne’s didn't like you, it was very obvious. Which meant the media had a field day, letting the entirety of Gotham know how much the famous pack hated you. So now your business was also aired out to the entire world to know. Wonderful, am I right?
You shove your unneeded books into your (tbh, very cutely) decorated locker, while grabbing the science textbook you needed for your next class, AP Biology. This class was the absolute bane of your existence. Not only was the content hard, the teacher was also absolutely nuts. You walk over to your Bio class, clutching your books like a lifeline. “Please, dont be here too.” You pray to yourself. Thankfully, this class was normal, well, as normal as it could get. The other two classes you have before lunch ended the same way, Wayneless. 
As your fourth class comes to an end your stomach starts to growl. You’d be embarrassed, but everyone else in your class was in a similar starved state. When the lunch bell goes off, you’re excitedly grabbing your things and making your way down. Fucking finally it was lunchtime. You made your way to the quickly growing lunchline
Your friends were already sitting at your usual table as you made your way over and slammed your lunch tray on the table.
“Im gonna kill myself.”
“I can't even say anything about that.” One of your other friends Daniel says.
You groaned holding your head in your hands, your headache becoming more prevalent as you turn to look at him.
“Man all I did was ask to leave, and now this shit? I can't even right now.”
“You finally asked to leave, huh? I'm guessing it didn't go well.” Daniel asks.
“Nope, but when does anything ever go right in my life.”
Just as you finish talking, the noisy cafeteria falls abruptly silent. The usual clatter of trays and chatter of students fades, replaced by an almost eerie quiet. You and your friends exchange confused glances before turning to see what—or who—could possibly have silenced a room full of teenagers. But in the pit of your stomach, you already have an idea.
Sure enough, walking through the entrance are Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake-Wayne, looking completely out of place in their immaculate suits and composed expressions. Their powerful, calculating gazes sweep across the crowd, searching for someone, before both of their eyes zero in on you and your table. Instinctively, you tense up, your shoulders hunching as if to make yourself smaller, and you feel the flush of embarrassment heat your cheeks under their scrutiny.
Their focused stares make you flinch, and you quickly look away, facing your friends once more. “See what I mean?” you mutter under your breath, trying to keep your voice steady. “It’s like the universe is out to get me.”
Daniel raises an eyebrow, glancing between you and the Waynes, a flicker of worry passing over his face. "What are they doing here? This isn’t normal, right?”
“No, it’s definitely not,” you reply, trying to keep your tone casual even as your heart races. “They’re here to make a point.”
You further slump into the table, arms cradling your head as the cafeteria slowly starts to go back to its normal noise level. Both Tim and Bruce take a seat at a table opposite to where you’re sitting, which gives them a perfect view of your table. Great.
“Guys talk to me. Anything–talk about anything please.” You beg quietly.
Quinn leans in, glancing nervously at the Waynes across the cafeteria. “Uh, did you hear about Chief Keef performing soon? Apparently, he’ll be in Gotham.”
Daniel nods, catching on to your plea for distraction. “Yeah, yeah, I heard he's gonna bring another artist on stage. Mauve Travis or something if we’re lucky?.”
You smile weakly, grateful for the distraction, even if your heart’s still pounding. You try to focus on what they’re saying, but you can feel Tim’s gaze on you like a laser, scrutinizing, watching every movement. You pretend not to notice, grabbing a fry from your tray and nodding along to whatever Daniel and Quinn are saying, forcing yourself to join in with a half-hearted laugh here and there.
Quinn suddenly brings up a story from her last weekend, trying her best to lighten the mood. “Okay, get this—I tried to impress this guy by pretending to know how to skate, but instead, I ended up flat on my face in front of, like, everyone. Mortifying, but he did buy me a smoothie as a consolation prize.”
You chuckle, letting the story pull you out of your anxious thoughts. “I mean, sounds like it kind of worked. You got a free smoothie, right?”
Quinn laughs, rolling her eyes. “Only because he felt bad, but hey, I’ll take pity smoothies.”
The laughter at your table grows, the lighthearted moment almost making you forget the ominous presence of Bruce and Tim nearby. But just as you’re starting to relax, you catch a glimpse of Tim’s amused smirk from the corner of your eye. His eyes don’t leave you, as if he knows exactly how unsettling his presence is and he’s reveling in it.
“I think he liked you,” Daniel teases Quinn, keeping the conversation going to help ease your nerves.
“Liked my bruised ego, maybe,” she snorts. “Anyway, what about you, (Y/n)? Got any secret admirers?”
You shake your head, grateful they’re keeping the focus off your current predicament. “Nope, unless you count the cadaver frog I accidentally dropped on my lab partner. He, uh-didn’t look at me the same after that.”
Your friends burst out laughing, and for a brief, blessed moment, you almost feel normal again. But when you glance back, Bruce’s eyes are still on you, cool and unyielding.
“Here’s to hoping they’re gone after lunch,” Daniel mutters, catching your uneasy glance.
“What good has hoping ever done me?” You sigh, picking at your food.
The tension in the cafeteria never fully fades. Despite the attempts from Quinn and Daniel to keep the conversation going, the presence of Bruce and Tim just continues to overwhelm you. Every so often, your eyes flit toward them, only to find them still seated, still watching, and their expressions betraying nothing of their true intent. It feels like they’re waiting for you to make a move, to react in some way that would justify their unsettling attention.
Lunch drags on in this uncomfortable limbo until, at last, the bell rings, signaling the end of the break. Your friends gather their things, offering small words of encouragement or supportive smiles, though they too look wary of the Waynes’ lingering presence.
“I’ll see you both in Chem. Hopefully Mr. Domzalski isn't still in a bad mood from what happened yesterday.” You say.
“You mean from when you and Daniel set fire to one of his textbooks?” Quinn questions sardonically.
You and Daniel offer her a sheepish, guilty smile. 
“Hey–it was an accident!” he exclaims, feigning offense.
“Yeah, what he said! We followed all the instructions to a T!” You defend as well.
“Sure, whatever you both say. I'm just surprised he didn't automatically fail you two.” Quinn says fondly.
“It’s ‘cause we’re somehow his favorites? Don't ask me how or why though.” You respond.
As you and Daniel chuckle, the lightheartedness helps lift some of the weight that had been hanging over your head. The relief is short-lived, though, as you feel a prickle on the back of your neck—a feeling that’s become all too familiar lately.
You glance back to see Bruce and Tim still watching, and for a moment, something in Bruce’s gaze changes. You can’t quite read it, but it feels sharper, like he’s calculating, considering something he hasn’t said. You swallow, gripping your bag tighter as your friends move to head toward class, unaware of the silent tension hanging around you like a cloud.
You head to your APA Algebra II class alone, without the usual buffer of Daniel or Quinn’s lighthearted banter to ease the tension. The classroom is quiet, a different atmosphere from the lively lunch period, and you’re able to slip into your seat undisturbed, hoping that the math problems ahead will give you a welcome distraction.
As the class moves on, you find yourself lost in equations, the numbers and formulas acting as a temporary refuge from everything else. You keep your head down, concentrating on the work, grateful for the momentary peace that academics bring.
When the bell rings, signaling the end of Math, you gather your things and head to APA Chemistry, where you’d finally reunite with Daniel and Quinn. When you arrive in APA Chemistry, the atmosphere is surprisingly relaxed. Mr. Domzalski hasn’t arrived yet, so everyone’s just hanging out, chatting about weekend plans, or joking around. You plop down next to Daniel, who’s already doodling on his notebook, and give Quinn a tired smile. It’s nice to have a few minutes to unwind before the usual controlled chaos of Mr. Domzalski’s class kicks in.
Then, the door swings open, and you freeze as Mr. Domzalski steps in with Tim Drake following close behind. Your stomach twists, and you have to swallow down a groan. Thankfully, Bruce is nowhere to be seen. Small blessings, you suppose; better not to question it too much. You look at your friends, trying to convey your annoyance with a single tired look as Mr. Domzalski beams with a sort of overdone excitement that sets you on edge.
“Everyone, I’d like you to welcome a special guest,” he says, practically brimming with enthusiasm. “Tim Drake-Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, is here to observe our class today.”
You sink lower in your chair, stifling a grumble. Great, just great. This whole thing was growing stale fast. You try to ignore the interested murmurs spreading through the class as everyone stares at Tim, who stands there with that same polite, professional smile he’s been flashing all day. You avoid eye contact, focusing instead on the edge of your desk as Mr. Domzalski continues.
“Now,” Mr. Domzalski goes on, shifting his focus to the lab materials, “before we dive into today’s lesson, let’s review what went wrong in yesterday’s lab.”
He shoots a pointed look in your direction, his smile still in place, but there’s a glint in his eyes that tells you he’s not exactly thrilled. “For those who might need a reminder,” he continues, not-so-subtly side-eyeing you and Daniel, “improper handling of materials led to one of my textbooks, which I cherish dearly, being set on fire.”
The class erupts into quiet snickers, and Daniel coughs into his hand, trying to disguise his laughter. You roll your eyes, but a smirk tugs at the corner of your mouth. Even Tim’s eyes change a bit, as if interested.
Mr. Domzalski clears his throat, regaining the class’s attention. “Let’s aim for a little more caution today, shall we?”
The lab for the day was going to be more complex than usual. Mr. Domzalski, with a edge of nervousness in his tone, began rattling off the new, more complicated instructions. His gaze flicked to you and Daniel more than once, lingering just long enough to make his message clear: Please don’t mess up.
You slouched slightly in your seat, already feeling the weight of the unspoken pressure. It wasn’t lost on you how much was riding on this lab going smoothly—not just for your grade, but for Mr. Domzalski himself. With Tim Drake-Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises and a member of one of Gotham’s most powerful packs, observing, any mishap could very well put your teacher’s job on the line.
Next to you, Daniel caught your eye, his lips twitching into a wry smirk. He leaned in, whispering, “Feel like we’re walking on eggshells today, huh?”
“More like a minefield,” you muttered back, eyeing the lab equipment warily. The setup looked far more intricate than usual—beakers and flasks stacked alongside pipettes, Bunsen burners, and an array of unfamiliar chemicals. It was a recipe for disaster, and you had no intention of being the one to set it off.
Tim, seated at the back of the room, watched the proceedings with his usual cool detachment. His presence was like a weight pressing down on the room, amplifying every minor sound and movement. You could practically feel his gaze on you, even when you weren’t looking his way.
“Alright, everyone,” Mr. Domzalski said, clapping his hands to gather the class’s attention. “Remember to follow the instructions precisely as they’re written. This is a delicate experiment, and precision is key. Any deviation could—well, let’s just say we don’t want any surprises today.”
The pointed glance he sent your way at the word “surprises” made you cringe internally. You shot Daniel a look. He seemed to get the message, giving you a small nod before turning his focus to the materials in front of him.
With a deep breath, you adjusted your goggles and got to work, determined not to give anyone—especially Tim—a reason to criticize.
The lab was rough from the very start. No matter how tightly you adjusted your goggles, they kept fogging up, obscuring your vision at the worst possible moments. You constantly had to pause to wipe them off, and each time, you felt Tim's Gaze flicker towards you. Daniel, meanwhile, was no better. He almost tipped over a vial of some unpronounceable chemical twice, and each time, you barely managed to steady it before disaster struck.
“Bro you have to lock in.” you said under your breath.
“I'm trying–fuck. My hands are too shaky.” Daniel whispered back, nervous as he tried held out his hands for you to see. He carefully set the vial down, only for his elbow to nudge another piece of equipment. You caught it just in time, your heart leaping into your throat.
The instructions seemed to come at lightning speed, Mr. Domzalski rattling off steps faster than you could write them down. Each new instruction layered on top of the last until your head was spinning with measurements, temperatures, and reaction times. You were doing your best to keep up—you think you were doing it right—but the constant noise and movement around you made it feel like everything was closing in.
You glanced at the flask on your workstation, bubbling faintly as it was supposed to, and double-checked the temperature. It seemed fine. Probably fine. Hopefully fine. But the nagging thought that you might’ve missed a step wouldn’t go away.
Behind you, Tim’s silent observation was like a shadow, adding another layer of stress to the already chaotic atmosphere. Every time you caught sight of him out of the corner of your eye, you swore his expression was unreadable, yet somehow judgmental.
“I think this is right,” you muttered, glancing at the next step in the instructions and adjusting your setup.
“‘Think’ isn’t reassuring, (Y/n),” Daniel replied, he was nervous. “Don’t blow us up, okay?”
“Not funny,” you snapped, though your lips twitched in a half-smile despite the stress. “Just keep stirring before we mess up the timing.”
The rest of the lab dragged on in a haze of nervous energy and frantic adjustments. Your hands trembled slightly as you measured out the final chemical, careful not to let even a drop spill. When you finally completed the experiment, the mixture in the beaker turned the correct pale blue color, and you let out a shaky breath of relief.
“See?” Daniel said, flashing you a grin. “We nailed it.”
You gave him a tired look. “Barely.”
As Mr. Domzalski approached to check your work, you held your breath, praying there wasn’t some detail you’d overlooked. When he gave a curt nod of approval, you finally relaxed, though your nerves still felt frayed. Even then, you could feel Tim’s eyes on you, as if silently appraising every moment of your struggle.
The lab was over, but the stress lingered like a heavy weight on your shoulders. You packed up your materials with shaky hands, grateful to escape the pressure of both the experiment and the unrelenting scrutiny.
As the class wrapped up, Mr. Domzalski passed by your station, his sharp eyes flicking over the completed experiment. The pale blue liquid in the beaker must have been just right because, instead of his usual critical remarks, he gave a subtle nod and a quiet, “Good work.” The words weren’t overly enthusiastic, but coming from him—and especially with Tim Drake watching—it was as close to praise as you could get.
You felt a weight lift off your shoulders, and you let out a long sigh of relief. You and Daniel exchanged a look, his triumphant grin mirrored by the faintest smile you allowed yourself. You’d passed. Somehow, despite the foggy goggles, Daniel’s near-disasters, and the relentless pressure, you’d made it through the lab unscathed.
As you finished cleaning up, Mr. Domzalski gave you a brief, silent glance of thanks. It wasn’t much, but you knew what it meant: he was grateful you hadn’t turned today’s experiment into another headline-worthy incident. You nodded subtly back, grateful that the ordeal was over.
With the last of your equipment put away, you grabbed your bag and escaped the lab as quickly as possible, the weight of Tim’s lingering gaze finally lifting as you stepped into the hallway. Quinn was waiting by the door, chatting with Daniel, who was still buzzing with post-lab adrenaline.
“Well, looks like you didn’t burn down the school,” Quinn teased, grinning as she fell into step with you.
“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered, rolling your eyes but smiling despite yourself. “We’re still alive, so I guess that’s a win.”
“Hey give us more credit.” Daniel chimed in, earning a laugh from both you and Quinn.
As the three of you headed for the stairs, you said goodbye to Daniel, who was heading to a different class. “See you later, guys.” he said, waving as he turned down another hallway.
You and Quinn made your way toward the gym for your seventh period, the final class of the day. The familiar chatter and clang of lockers greeted you as you stepped into the changing area. Gym wasn’t exactly your favorite class, but after the stress of the lab, it was almost a relief to have something physical to focus on instead of the constant mental strain.
“Think they’ll leave you alone for the day?” Quinn asked as you pulled on your gym shoes.
“I hope so,” you replied, your voice weary. “I can’t handle any more of this. It’s like they can’t even wait to-to…you know.”
Quinn grimaces. “Yeah, I know.” But she smiles back at you, as if tying to make you perk up. “Well, at least we’re doing dodgeball today, you should blow off some steam.”
You huff, amused. “Mm, maybe nailing Farah in the head with a dodgeball would do me some good.”
“Straight on bitch, that girl needs to be humbled.” Quinn says.
You chuckled, shaking your head. “At this point, I’ll take any excuse to hit something.”
The two of you stepped into the gym, the sound of sneakers squeaking on polished floors and the buzz of students warming up filling the air. It wasn’t the easiest day, but at least the end was finally in sight.
The day finally winds down as you head to the locker rooms to change. The smell of sweat and disinfectant fills the air as you and the other students shuffle to your lockers, exchanging the occasional half-hearted quip about how much of a drill sergeant Coach Walker was today. You change quickly, eager to escape the lingering humidity of the gym, and sling your bag over your shoulder just as the dismissal bell rings.
Joining the tide of students heading toward the front exit, you fall into step with Quinn, chatting idly about homework and plans for the weekend. The sprawling line of cars in the pick-up area is already forming, parents eager to whisk their kids away from the chaos of the school day.
Daniel spots you both as he weaves through the crowd toward his mom’s car, parked conveniently near the front of the line. “Guess that’s my ride,” he calls, swatting your shoulder playfully. “Try not to miss me too much tomorrow, I've got a doc's appointment.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Yeah, yeah, you wish asshole.”
“Later!” he shouts, hopping into the passenger seat of his mom’s car as it pulls away. You and Quinn wave after him before continuing toward the pick-up zone.
“Alfred here today?” Quinn asks, glancing around at the cars idling nearby.
“Probably not,” you reply with a shrug. “Haven’t heard from him, so it’s probably just me and the bike today.”
Quinn nods, her attention already shifting to a car pulling up in the distance. “Looks like my dad’s almost here.”
You glance toward the pickup area and spot the familiar vehicle inching closer. “Cool. Guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“Yep. Don’t get mugged on the way home,” she jokes, smirking as she adjusts her backpack.
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence,” you reply with a laugh. With a quick goodbye, you head toward the bike rack to unlock your trusty two-wheeler.
The quietness of the parking lot is a stark contrast to the noisy chaos of the day. You crouch down, fiddling with the combination lock on your bike, when a hulking shadow falls over you. The sudden shift in light is enough to make your instincts bristle, but you stay focused on the lock, rolling your eyes at the interruption.
“Bro, if you’re lookin’ to mug me,” you say without looking up, your tone flat and unamused, “you should know I’m skint broke. Try some other bitch.”
The air around you seems to thicken with tension, and you feel the unmistakable weight of someone’s gaze boring into you. It’s enough to make you pause mid-turn on the lock, your breath catching as a low, familiar voice responds.
“I sure hope you’re not talking to me?” Comes your father, Bruce’s, deep voice.
Your head snaps up, and your breath catches in your throat as you realize it’s not some wannabe punk standing over you.
You pale instantly, the color draining from your face as you meet his icy blue eyes. His expression is unreadable, but the weight of his gaze is suffocating. The sheer presence of him—imposing, cold, and unnervingly silent—makes your stomach churn with dread. Your heart pounds in your chest as you scramble for words, your brain tripping over itself in panic.
“Oh—uh, Mr. Wayne—I didn’t—I mean, I thought…” you stammer, trying to cobble together an explanation and an apology all at once. Your hands fumble with the lock on your bike, suddenly feeling clumsy under his scrutiny. “I—um—sorry! I thought—uh—someone else—”
He raises an eyebrow, the tiniest shift in his expression, but it’s enough to make you flinch. You straighten up, clutching your bike for dear life, feeling small and utterly exposed under his towering figure.
“I see,” he says finally, his voice calm but laced with that undercurrent of authority that makes it clear he’s not just seeing. He’s assessing.
“I didn’t realize it was you,” you blurt, trying to salvage what’s left of your dignity. “I thought it was, uh, someone else. Someone trying to—um—mug me?” The excuse sounds weak even to your own ears, and you wince inwardly at how ridiculous it must sound.
Bruce’s gaze doesn’t waver. “Do you make a habit of mouthing off to strangers you assume are threats?” he asks, his tone deceptively mild.
“N-no, sir,” you stammer, shaking your head quickly. “I just—I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s been a long day, and I wasn’t thinking—”
He holds up a hand, cutting off your rambling. “Enough,” he says, “I’m here to pick you up. Alfred’s occupied.”
Your mouth opens, then closes, as you try to process his words. You hadn’t even considered the possibility that Bruce might be the one picking you up today. Of course, the thought of him going out of his way to do so hadn’t even crossed your mind, it wasn’t like he ever went out of his way for you before.
“Oh,” you manage after an awkward pause. “Right. Thanks.”
You still have your conversation from the previous day in mind.
“Come on,” he says, turning without another word. “We’re leaving.”
You hastily shove your bike into the back of his sleek black car, your movements hurried and uncoordinated under the pressure of his presence. Sliding into the back seat, you notice Tim sitting in the front passenger seat, looking at you through the rear mirror. You avert your gaze, clasping your hands tightly in your lap, trying not to fidget as the engine purrs to life. The air inside the car is thick with silence, broken only by the occasional click of the turn signal as Bruce maneuvers through traffic.
You steal a glance at him, his expression as stoic and unreadable as ever. Despite the tension knotting your stomach, you force yourself to speak. “I—uh, thanks for picking me up,” you mumble, staring out the window.
Bruce doesn’t respond immediately, his eyes fixed on the road. When he finally speaks, his tone is even but firm. “We’ll talk when we get home.”
Your throat tightens when you see Tim's glee filled smile, as if a cat had just caught a canary. You nod mutely, knowing there’s no point in arguing. Whatever he has to say, it’s not going to be pleasant.
[Hope you guys liked the chapter!! I'm sorry for the delay and the ghosting, more fics will be updated trust!! Also thank you to all the people who were checking on me, I really appreciate it!!]
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spideysatan · 2 years ago
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im so // lucky // my life was such a mess that i confused confort with falling in love
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criminalamnesia · 9 months ago
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Not a request but NEW TRAITOR CHAP WHEN??? prioritize urself no rush Pookie just the ppl gotta know
part 7 is here 🙏
ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE
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it was pouring rain as you slid from the taxi, the driver attempting to yell at you to shut the door as thunder rumbled overhead.
you paid him no heed; boots splashed in murky puddles as you pushed the door closed and moved towards the yellow cab’s trunk.
you could barely hear yourself think. the rain was battering the ground as if locked in a viscous war with the cracked pavement— puddles forming as the asphalt resisted with all its might. it wasn’t enough, water seeping into the ground and muddying the grass nearby, drowning it mercilessly.
you grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder before shutting the trunk. you’d barely stepped back from the car before it was speeding off, kicking up water and splashing your legs.
you didn’t mind— you were soaked through to the bone, anyways. besides, you didn’t mind the storm. it was comfort— a distraction from what lay ahead.
your new team. a small, covert operations group made up of the best of the best. two sergeants, a lieutenant, a captain— and they wanted one more soldier.
the opening couldn’t have come at a better time. you’d run your course with your old squad. they’d been fine— until they weren’t. carelessness and ignorance from teammates almost resulted in your untimely death, and laswell hadn’t questioned your transfer request after hearing the tale.
in fact, she’d recommended the one-four-one to you.
you thought you’d be meeting them on base, but the captain had requested you meet them here, instead. a run-down old diner, with its bright, neon pink sign blinking down at you through the rain.
you inhaled, then exhaled. clenched your fists, then unclenched them. it was a habit you’d had since you were a child. it forced you to slow down and think, to overcome the emotions you were lost in.
you blinked. rain ran down your face, creating false tears as it streamed from the corners of your eyes. you were sure you looked a sight.
another inhale, another exhale, and then you moved towards the diner’s door. you pushed it open, stepping inside and wiping your boots on the mat in front of the door.
“I think you’re gonna need to do more than that to dry off, sweetheart” a woman’s voice calls to you, causing you to look up towards the counter. she’s grimacing, looking you up and down. no doubt she’ll be following your path through the building with a mop in hand.
“sorry,” you tell her, trying to brush some water from your jacket. “forgot my umbrella.”
the woman gave a huff, waving her hand before turning and attending to an ancient-looking coffee maker.
you take the time to glance around the diner then, noting the substantial lack of customers. only two booths were occupied, one containing a young couple tangled in each other’s arms, and the other containing a man wearing a baseball cap with the UK flag patched on it.
he looked up from his phone as you approached, seemingly unsurprised based on the grin he gave you.
“glad to see you got here in one piece,” he says as you shrug off your bag, placing it on the floor as you slide into the seat across from him.
“one drenched piece,” you say, and he gives a small chuckle.
“im kyle,�� the man tells you. “don’t know what laswell told you,” he clicks off his phone and places it on the table. “but im one of the sergeants.”
you nod. “callsign ‘gaz,’ right?”
he gives a nod of his own. his phone buzzes, the screen lighting up. his eyes glance down, scan the message, then meet yours once more.
“rest of the team got held up. price is in a meeting. johnny and ghost are on assignment, but they’re due back any day now.”
“so you’re the welcome committee by default, huh?” you say, and he laughs.
“guess i am. have i scared you off yet?”
“dunno,” you tell him. “but laswell sings your praises. the captain’s, especially.”
“she sings yours, too.” kyle says.
you give a small nod, your mind racing at what laswell may have told the task force. you weren’t bad at your job— you were great at it. a great shot, a reliable solider, a tireless sentry.
your emotions got the better of you at times, that was all. attachments and bonds that formed, linking you and your fellow soldiers together in the web of warfare. tying you around the wrist and dragging you along, for better or worse. little siblings or lovers evolving from what once had been just another set of boots on the ground.
this job was all you had. you found family where you had too, and it made you all the more loyal. but when you were spurned? when the fire leapt from the pit and scorched your skin?
you weren’t quick to forgive, and you found that reasonable in this line of work. mistakes by teammates could get you killed. who could blame you for holding a grudge against an ally who had almost cost you your life?
it’s why you were here now. a new start with a new team— a team of the best, you included.
kyle’s phone buzzes again. he picks it up, the screen illuminating his face as the lights flicker overhead. the storm wasn’t letting up.
“cap’s on his way— says he’ll be here in less than 30.”
“price, right?” you recall his name. kyle nods.
“don’t tell him I told you,” he leans in, a mischievous look in his eyes, “but he’s been lookin’ forward to meeting you. maybe even more than johnny has.”
“why’s that?”
“said the one-four-one is overdue for someone else who can kick johnny’s ass. wants you to knock him down a few more pegs.”
you laugh at that, giving a small shake of your head. kyle’s lips curl into a smile. “nah, he’s just happy to have some more hands on deck. always helps to have another person that’ll watch your back.”
as kyle starts talking again, you find your nerves settling.
maybe this team could be your new family.
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you looked down at your hands, noting the slight shake of them. you don’t think they’d been steady since before everything happened.
your eyes glance to the ugly, scarred stump of the finger you’d lost. simon hadn’t chopped it off prettily, and it’d been stitched up hastily. you couldn’t blame the doctor, there had been more pressing injuries to attend to.
such as the bone-deep cut to one leg, growing infected from your time spent in the chair. the scar was long, stretching from the top of your thigh to your knee. it was still pink, a sign of your body still trying to put itself back together.
your torso wasn’t much better. jagged scars and puckered knots of skin marred your image. both from before and from after.
your eyes met your own in the mirror. you barely recognized yourself. the anger within you still burned, but its flame had reduced to a simmer. exhaustion, apathy, and shame had taken its place.
perhaps that was a good thing. it saved you the energy of fighting the men you inevitably saw every day. despite your numerous pleas and demands for them to simply leave you alone, they seemed to have a hard time listening. it made you want to scream. to hurt them, digging your fingers into skin until they understood the pain behind your words.
a knock sounded at the door. you didn’t move.
a knock again. you could hear the shuffle of feet outside the door. you wished whoever it was would leave you be.
another knock, accompanied by the soft timbre of kyle’s voice.
“love, you alright in there?” he was saying. you still stood before the mirror.
things had been different since you attacked the doctor. it had only been a few days, but word spread quickly through base. if people had avoided you before, you were like the plague now.
and the shame you felt was insurmountable. the pain and regret and fury were building like a tidal wave in your stomach, rising and choking the air from your lungs.
you wanted to leave this place. get away from the men you once called family, the one you once called yours.
but leaving meant the end of your career. you just had to hold out until kate arranged your transfer, that’s all. just a few more days, right?
and then this place and these people wouldn’t be a constant reminder of what had happened to you. of what it had done to you, physically and mentally.
“go, kyle,” you called out to him, breaking from your trance as you reached for the scratchy robe johnny had gifted you one christmas.
“not until i see you breathin’, love.”
you sigh, tying the robe shut and hugging the material to your body. you moved to the door, turning the lock before inching it open.
“breathing,” you tell him, watching as his eyes flick away from yours. god, it made you want to strangle him.
to yell at him, to yell at all of them— "you did this, and you should be able to look me in the eyes and see it.”
“now go.”
he looks at you again, eyebrows furrowed in worry. “will you let me in?” he asks, and you scoff as you move to slam the door.
“fuck off, kyle.”
but he’s quick, and his hand shoots out, grasping the door’s wooden edge and keeping it from closing.
“we need to talk.”
“whatever you need to say, you can say it from there,” you tell him, and he pauses for a minute before he nods.
“doc is asking about you again. she’s up and runnin’ around. said she wants to see you.”
your lips press into a thin line. you didn’t deserve that woman’s kindness, not after what you’d done to her.
you hadn’t been in your right mind, but that didn’t excuse it. you had bloodied your fists; harmed an innocent in the war between you and your own mind.
you didn’t want to see her still worrying about you when you had assured her you were fine. you had left her supervision, and then you’d attacked her. and you hadn’t stopped until simon had pulled you away.
you would’ve killed her, you know that in your heart. you would’ve killed her, thinking she was one of the men who had wanted to kill you.
“tell her im fine,” you said, your hand tightening around the door’s knob.
“i think she’d rather see that for herself,” he says.
“im fine,” you repeat. “i’ll be out of everyone’s hair in a few days, anyways.”
kyle’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “you’re leaving?”
he knew this, they all did. perhaps they just didn’t truly believe it. all of them, every single one, still thought you’d turn around and run back into their arms.
bastards.
“as soon as laswell gives the word,” you reply. “should be soon.”
kyle doesn’t speak. he’s obviously biting his tongue— you’d seen the expression that was on his face enough to know when he was holding back, but you didn’t prod like you would’ve before.
let him keep his secrets, lies, promises, and sorries. you didn’t need them anymore.
“don’t bother me again,” you said before shutting the door in his face.
you hear him sigh on the other side of the wood, then hear the retreat of his steps. you turn back to the mirror, snarl, and grab the alarm clock from your nightstand.
you throw it into the glass, shattering it to pieces. seven years of bad luck, you think.
well, it couldn’t get much worse, could it?
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kyle sighs, staring at your door for a second longer before turning away. simon looks down at him from where he was leaning against the wall, hidden from your view, his muscled arms crossed over his chest.
“surprised?” simon asks as the two of them retreat down the hallway. he makes sure they’re far enough from your door before speaking, so that you won’t hear his voice.
“we knew it was happening, price said as much after that whole thing with johnny,” kyle replies, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. “just thought this might change things.”
“change ‘em how?” simon says. “if anythin’, this speeds it up. they’re a liability now.”
“they’re hurt, ghost,” kyle retorts, his eyes meeting his superior’s. “that’s ptsd. not everyone’s as forgiving as the doc. they attack someone outside and that’s a fucking felony.”
“that’s not our problem, sergeant,” comes simon’s baritone reply, and kyle stops.
“you’re a fuckin’ case yourself, y’know that, LT?” he says, and simon stops. “we all played a part,” kyle continues. “but you? you would’ve killed ‘em if we never knew the truth. i know you would’ve. i’ve seen you do it.”
the men stare at each other. simon’s expression is hidden underneath his balaclava, but kyle knows it’s unreadable regardless.
mean, old ghost. heartless bastard, loyal to the mission only. that’s what the others around base whispered to each other.
kyle had seen proof to the contrary. yes, simon was loyal to the mission. but he was also loyal to his team, his family. you.
he was loyal to you.
“watch yourself, sergeant,” simon speaks, his voice a dangerous rumble.
kyle scoffs and walks off, shaking his head.
simon watches him go, his breath steady.
kyle didn’t understand him, not really. not the way you had begun to. and that was his own fault, he knows it. forever holding those close to him at arms length for fear of the worst.
he’d let you in— let you invade that space he enforced so ruthlessly. and the worst had happened.
kyle doesn’t know this is tearing him in half; none of the team does. they don’t understand that simon wants you to stay because you’re you, but he wants you gone because he can see how this is killing you.
even when he’s the villain in your story, he’s still trying to look out for you— in his own, twisted way.
he doesn’t regret it. that is cemented in his mind. but as he grapples with his own emotions, his mind in its own turmoil, he knows he wants you to be okay.
“im sorry,” he had spoken to deaf ears.
sorry for the ripping apart of your life, but not sorry for what he had done.
deep down, he knew you would never forgive them. he knew that leaving this team would be the best thing for you.
he knew, he knew, he knew.
knowing and accepting are two different things.
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hope this was worth the wait! i think the next part will be the end, unless my idea changes 👀
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hoonieyun · 1 month ago
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why... ✧˚ ༘ ⋆。 ˚
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breaking up with your boyfriend means losing a lover but what happens when your boyfriend was also your best friend, meaning you lost both and now have to face him for a popular youtube show
park sunghoon x reader
genre: angst, heartbreak, exes reunited, exes to ..?
warnings: profanity, sad shit, miscommunication, 18+, not proofread LOL
masterlist - word count: 4671
when your ex-boyfriend reached out to you to be a part of a youtube video your initial reaction was “what is he talking about?” but as you read more about what the video is about and after watching some clips, you ended up agreeing. you weren’t necessarily excited to do it but you didn’t have anything better to do for that weekend anyway. 
sunghoon on the other hand, was very excited. he always called you his “soulmate” or “the one that got away” so in a lot of ways, to him this was the perfect opportunity to check if the spark was still there. 
the two of you used to be best friends before lovers. you had met during freshman orientation for university and for some reason, sunghoon stuck on to you like his life depended on it; he followed you around like a lost puppy and although he didn’t know you and you didn’t know him, he felt comfortable around you enough to let you guide him around your enormous university as if it also wasn’t your first day too. you both were inseparable ever since. sunghoon hadn’t given you a straight answer aside from. “i don’t know, you looked nice.” whenever you would ask him why he clung onto you that day and quite frankly, you were grateful that he did. you would go on to become best friends for another year and a half before the two of you would realize your feelings for each other. 
sunghoon would take you out on a date one winter night where the two of you would go ice skating or more so, sunghoon would ice skate and you would try your best to stay balanced on your two feet. 
but he was right by your side throughout the whole night and by the end of it, he was your boyfriend and you were his girlfriend. he was by your side every day until graduation when your relationship met its untimely end. you had always had a love for helping others so studying medicine was something you dove into right from the beginning. your father had fallen ill at some point when you were young and after losing him, you promised yourself you would be a part of the life changing phenomenom surrounding the cure for several diseases. 
when you had gotten the call that you had gotten accepted to further your studies after graduation to do research and to acquire your M.D that would later lead to your residency, you jumped at the chance and said yes without thinking twice. 
you hadn’t even considered the idea that this opportunity was in a whole different country, meaning you’d have to leave everything and everyone you knew behind. your family and friends, and your boyfriend who was also your best friend, sunghoon. reminiscing on your relationship was something you hadn’t done in a long time considering you were so busy with work and research that you barely even had time for your own life. 
but you found yourself thinking about those memories from so long ago as you pulled into the parking lot of the studio the youtube video was recording in. you hadn’t seen sunghoon in for a whole year since your breakup and you could only think about what his reasoning was for this meeting and for it to be something that would be broadcasted and watched by thousands of people on the internet. you had to push past your nerves and tell yourself that everything would be fine, that you’re just meeting with your old best friend who just happens to also be your ex. 
you had the opportunity to come home because after a long and busy year, your team had made enough progress that allowed you some downtime; so you decided to fly back home to see your family and sunghoon just happened to know you’d be in town so you could do the recording and more importantly, see him. a nice lady greeted you as you entered the building and gave you the rundown of how filming would go, she explained that you’d ask your ex questions and vice versa and to try to keep it as cordial as possible if there was a possibility it would escalate. 
she guided you to your own dressing room where she’d call you once the current ex-couple was done filming. you thanked for her kindness and she tells you to help yourself to the several snacks and refreshments set on the coffee table in the middle of the room. you didn’t know what to expect and the longer you waited for filming to start, the more your mind ran wild with questions. 
does sunghoon hate you?
did he invite you here to humiliate you on camera?
do you still love sunghoon?
does he still love you?
so many things were running through your mind but you weren’t going to let it cause you to spiral. as you waited for your turn to film, you decided that doing some breathing exercises would help soothe your worries; so you slide off your shoes and sit with your legs crossed in the middle of the room before closing your eyes and focusing on steadying your breathing. 
your breathing was no longer sporradic and a sense of calm wafted throughout the room as you took the time to zone out all of the noise even if it was just the sound of the air conditioning and the occasionally muffled voices of those outside the room. “yn, we’re ready for you.” the lady who you met earlier says as she pokes her head into your room. you slowly open your eyes and think about her words. “we’re ready for you.” 
ready. you smiled at her and gave her a small nod before standing up and putting your shoes back on. they were ready but you weren’t entirely sure that you were; and there was much time to turn back now as you exit the dressing room and are instructed to wait behind a curtain as someone who worked for the production team introduced the concept of the video for your episode. 
here goes nothing… 
the room pauses for a moment and one of the production assistants gestures for you to walk onto the set, pointing at the small marking on the ground for where you need to stand and introduce yourself before taking a seat on the chair on your left. 
you thanked him before walking over to where you needed to stand and smiling at the camera, trying your best to not sound or look nervous as your eyes scanned all of the cameras and crew in front of you. 
“hi, i’m yn and today i’ll be doing an interview with my ex.” you said softly before taking your seat. 
soon after, you see a figure emerge from the other side of the room and at first his face is covered in the harsh shadows caused by the studio lights but as he gets closer you see the familiar face of your best friend and ex-boyfriend, sunghoon. 
he’s just as handsome as ever wearing a simple striped shirt in thick black rimmed glasses. you could’ve sworn your heart skipped a beat when the light hit his face because seeing him after a whole year, he’s only gotten more handsome. his arms were more toned, face sharper but still had that soft and warm smile you loved so much, and he had this confident air around him. not the type that came off as arrogant or egotistical, but more so like he was comfortable and happy. he was radiating a type of energy that you hadn’t seen before and you weren’t sure if it was because he was doing so much more after your breakup or if the idea of seeing you and being around you again made him this way. 
“hello, i’m sunghoon and today i’ll be doing an interview with my ex.” he says with that smile, god that damn smile. his smile put you in such a trance that you got lost in the way his dimple would appear, how bright his smile seemed, and how crinkled his eyes would get. his smile that you’ve missed so much. sunghoon takes a seat across from you but not before initiating a hug, to which you were pleasantly surprised by. you quickly stood up to hug him and once again the warm feeling you got whenever he was around returned. he softly rubbed your back just like he did when you were together and it brings you back to when the two of you were bright eyed 18 year olds navigating university for the first time. 
“you look good” he says and it causes heat to rush to your cheeks as you take in his compliment. you return one of the same and he smiles with a nod as the two of you take your respective seats. the tension isn’t awkward in the slightest, or at least you don’t think it is, as you wait for the next instructions from the producer. 
“alright, go ahead and briefly catch up and we’ll throw in the first question after a moment.” he explains and you both nod at him. 
“how are you?” you asked and he gives you a short answer of how he’s been doing okay, could be better, excited to do the video; nothing substantial but also not nothing? 
you go on to say that you’ve been pretty busy with life and were surprised that he reached out to do the video, telling him you were reluctant first but eventually agreed because you just happened to fly back home for a little while and had the time to do so. 
“okay, first question: how long did you guys date?” the producer asks and you look over at one another before answering simultaneously; “four years” and your voices blending in unison causes the two of you to laugh. it was just like old times when your friends would say that the two of you were hanging around each other too often that you guys have begun to either finish each other’s sentences or say the same things at the same time. 
what was your first date?
sunghoon was going to answer but he notices that you’re about to speak so he gestures for you to keep going, “we went to an ice rink during christmas break and i was shit at ice skating but he was the best teacher ever and was there by me the whole time making sure i was okay and when i shed a few tears because i was so bad he was so quick to console me and help me off the ice so we could get something warm to drink and grab dinner.” you answered. 
sunghoon smiled at you endearingly the whole time, you hadn’t noticed at first because you were talking to the camera to the side and once you had glanced over at him, he suddenly sits up straight and quickly wipes the grin off of his face. you blush at his actions, finding it cute that he still had the habit of trying to hide whenever he was admiring you even when the two of you were dating. like he was too shy to get caught staring and admiring your beauty. 
“yup, she was bad at ice skating and still is i presume because i’d ask her to go ice skating every year on our anniversary and she’d just look at me with puppy eyes like she was begging not to go even if i was just teasing her.” he chuckled and dropped your head in hands in embarrassment because it was true. 
“hey.. it’s scary! i don’t know how anyone can do it, being unbalanced is so scary it feels like i'm constantly fighting the fall that is eventually going to happen.” you retort with a pout and there it is again, the smile that creeps onto sunghoon’s lips whenever he’s watching you as if you were the only person in the room… and right now; you were. 
who said i love you first?
when the question leaves the producers lips, you and sunghoon mimic each other without any verbal response but a gesture. both of your fingers point towards him and the identical motion causes the two of you to laugh once again. it was like you were both falling into your usual behavior, like no time has passed and you were still the two young freshmen who found comfort and love within the other. 
“i said it before i could even ask her on our first day. i think i realized that i loved her when she’d wake up extra early to wake me up for classes even if she barely slept. i’m a really heavy sleeper so i usually sleep through my alarms, especially for morning classes, but she’d always come knocking on my apartment door to wake me up before my alarm could because she knew i’d just sleep through it. 
i mean- i loved her before that but i think it was at that moment i realized that she was someone i loved in a way i’ve never loved someone else before.”
sunghoon’s story almost brings tears to your eyes because you hadn’t known it was that moment that he started to develop feelings for you. you started doing that halfway through freshman year but he didn’t ask you out until the winter of your second year in university. 
“yeah, he said i love you to me that morning because i even brought him breakfast and coffee and at first i thought it was just him showing his gratitude but now i guess it was his first time saying i love you- which i didn’t know by the way because you didn’t ask me out until like a whole year later.” you teased and now it was sunghoon’s turn to hide his face in his hands shyly. 
“in my defense, i was afraid it would ruin our friendship but i’m glad you still said yes to me when i asked you out, it was the scariest day of my life.” he said and you furrowed your eyebrow at his confession. 
“really? scarier than when we were waiting for our biology lab reports back from professor kim?” you asked and he nods, “way scarier than that, i couldn’t imagine ever losing you so i was so scared that if i asked you, you’d reject me and that was that…” he says, trailing off at the end as he realizes how sad it sounded. your eyes softened at his words and you always knew sunghoon to be softer and gentle, but knowing that he had this inner conflict with asking you out or not because he was afraid of losing you really hurt; because in the end you lost each other. 
you cleared your throat at the awkward silence and sunghoon looks away like he’s confessed something he shouldn’t have told you. it’s not that you didn’t know he felt this way because you’ve always kind of knew that losing one another was a fear the two of you had but you never knew how much it affected him. 
what do you think was the cause of your breakup?
“i can answer that..” you begin to say as you look directly at the camera, trying your best to ignore sunghoon’s piercing gaze on your face. 
sunghoon would call you the one to get away because he always felt like he let you get away. when you first broke up he would constantly hit you up, trying to fix your relationship but you were pretty set in stone on your decision. looking back at it now, breakups aren’t generally mutual but you didn’t really give sunghoon the time to process. ultimately just telling him that your relationship couldn’t go on any further. 
“i got accepted to do research and continue my studies for my M.D. and work towards my residency and unfortunately it was in a whole other country. i accepted it without even thinking about how it would affect my relationships and i know it may have seemed selfish but it was opportunity i couldn’t pass up because i didn’t think it would come around a second time.” you looked at sunghoon as you spoke and his eyes were glued to the ground. 
“this was during graduation, i literally got the call a day after graduation and it took me several days to tell sunghoon but the longer i waited it just ate me from the inside out. 
i didn’t know how to tell him and it just came out one day and yeah… 
we went through several scenarios of how we could make it work but to me everything felt so uncertain except for the decision that we landed on. i know it wasn’t ideal but i would be gone for a long time and i wasn’t sure how long distance would work so i suggested for us to break up.” you said with a sniffle, noticing that you haven’t had the chance to fully unpack that moment with sunghoon until now. 
“i just wish we tried harder… i didn’t want to let you go; i still don’t.” sunghoon adds and you look up at him with tears brimming in your eyes. “i’ve always called you the one that got away because i did let you away. i should’ve fought harder so that you’d consider trying other options aside from ending what we had but i respected your decision even if i didn’t want that for us.” the room is silent after sunghoon’s statement and you try to look around, eyes landing on anything in the room just so you didn’t have to look at sunghoon who you knew was staring directly at you. 
what is something you wished you could say to your ex that you didn’t have the chance to?
you finally look at sunghoon and he mimics your expression. one of hope that shadows the anguish and despair that he hides deep below inside of himself. 
“do you want to go first?” you ask and he nods, sitting up and sniffling a bit before speaking. 
“um, there’s a lot i wish i could tell you to be honest. i wanna tell you about all of the stuff i’ve done in the last year, all of my accomplishments, milestones, and successes that i wish you were there for but i think i finally want to tell you the one thing you’ve always asked me. 
when we first met, it was during freshman orientation and although we didn’t know each other, i clung onto you and stuck by your side the whole day and you let me. which was very kind because normally someone would get weirded out by that but you didn’t. 
you often ask me why i did that and i’d always tell you it was because you seemed nice and friendly, which is true, but the real answer was because you were the only person in that gigantic building hall that helped me. it was so crowded in that hall and some guys had shoved me causing me to drop the several pamphlets and packets the people were handing out and the several people who either looked at me and continued walking by or simply walked over me as i picked up my things, you were the only one to help me. 
so, yeah; i guess it was because you were kind to me but it was for the most part because you made me feel cared for; even with that small gesture. it was the precedent of how i’d see you for the rest of my life. the kind, caring, and generous girl i fell in love with. 
i mean, you’ve told people that we broke up because you wanted to pursue your studies abroad but i love to tell people that we broke up because you chose to focus on the kindness in your heart to help those who are sick. 
she’s studying to become a doctor and dedicating countless hours to research so they can come up with a cure for various illnesses that have taken the lives of many. that’s why i never got angry or upset when she wanted to breakup; because i know it was bigger than that. she didn’t want to breakup because she hated me or was tired of me… we broke up because she had to choose the kindness in her heart to help thousands of people instead of harvesting the love we had for one another. 
which i can never be mad at.” 
the tears in your eyes have started to fall across your cheek and when sunghoon finally catches your gaze, he’s instantly standing up to reach over and wipe your tears away. gently cupping your face and wiping the tears with his thumb much like he did when you two broke up and as he sent you off at the airport. 
it was a bit ironic that sunghoon was comforting you in this time because in a lot of ways, he should be the one hurting. he was the one who had to receive the shit end of the stick in your relationship but every time, he chose compassion and his love for you instead of the anger or negative emotion that someone else would’ve felt towards you. 
you melt into his hand and you’re wrapping your arms around him before you could even think and thankfully; the familiar feeling of sunghoon’s strong arms wrap around you. the most comforting and warm place you’ve ever been, one that you’ve missed for a whole year. 
the two of you stay in that position for a while and once you’ve stopped crying, he lets you go so you could go back to your seats and continue the interview. 
this episode of the youtube series would definitely be a tearjerker just from that single moment. 
“i think something i’ve always wanted to tell hoon is that i’m sorry.” you begin and sunghoon is shaking his head to tell you that you have nothing to be sorry for, but you did. 
“no, i am very sorry. you said it best i chose to pursue my studies so i can help people but you’re the most important person in my life and i know it hurt you to see me not fight harder for our relationship when you tried so hard to come up with solutions and i just seemed to deny them all. 
i’m sorry that i made it seem like i chose my career and my studies over you and it hurts even more to know that you’ve supported me throughout all of it and it turned out to be the cause of our breakup. i’m the cause of our breakup- you’re not..- but i am..” sunghoon interrupts to reassure you but you persist, wanting to get your point across. 
“i’m okay with holding that burden because i made that decision to accept the research abroad and i made the decision to breakup with you even if you didn’t want to and i made the decision to stop talking to you once i was gone because it would only make things harder. 
so… i’m sorry that i made you feel like you were just a second option that didn’t surmount the other and i’m sorry for giving you the love you poured into me.” 
tears are pouring down your face again and although your vision is slightly blurred from the tears, you could tell that sunghoon was also crying. the producers let the two of you console each other for a few moments before having to continue the interview. they hand you both several napkins to wipe away your tears and the staff watch as you two wipe the tears away off of each other’s face; much like a couple would do. as if the two of you hadn’t even broken up in the first place with how connected and bonded the two of you were. 
do you regret breaking up?
and as soon as the question leaves the producer’s lips, you’re both nodding instantly. which was a pleasant surprise to you both as sunghoon had expected you to say no because you were so determined to break up and how you wanted to focus on your studies. to you it was a surprise because you never expected sunghoon to want to get back together with how dismissive you were of his feelings when it came to what you were prioritizing in your life. 
if you could, would you get back together?
the producers point first at sunghoon to which he nods with a small yes and when the producer points to you, you do the same. 
“thank you both for being here today-” the producer is interrupted with a pause as he bids farewell and thanks the both of you for attending and participating in the video. 
“can you believe that was two years ago…” you ask as you look up at sunghoon who’s eyes are still glued onto the computer screen. you had paused the video the two of you did two years ago for a youtube show that interviewed exes and you were so grateful that you said yes to sunghoon when he asked you to be on the show because it brought the two of you back together. 
“i know.. time flies when you’re with the one you love, huh?” he says teasingly and you rolls your eyes at him, slapping his chest playfully. 
“thank you for taking me back..” he says and you furrow your brows at him. 
“i should be the one saying that, i can’t believe i almost said no to the show… can you imagine? then we wouldn’t have gotten back together.” you said and sunghoon brushes it off. “please, i’d find a way to get back to you in any lifetime. you’re the one that got away but that doesn’t mean that i can’t ever get you back… and i did.” he says, pressing a gentle kiss onto your forehead. 
sunghoon presses play to continue the video of the two of you. the interview that changed the both of your lives and brought the love of his life back to him. 
after the interview was over, it was fairly late so he asked if you wanted to grab dinner and the rest was history. in the short 4 hours that you two were together for the video and the dinner; your love for each other was reignited. like it was simply dormant inside of you and you realized that sunghoon was your soulmate. he waited patiently, supported you from afar, and admired you throughout all of it and still loved you. 
your love was merely dormant but sunghoon’s was always alive. like his love for you was a lit candle and he used the fire he had to relight the wick of your candle, burning your love brightly; sharing the same flame that would burn forever for each other. 
you had gotten back together after the interview and have now been dating for another two years on top of the previous four from university. the one year break that was referred to as a “temporary pause” as sunghoon likes to call it was simply just so you two could find each other again. 
because if you love someone you have to let them go but if they come back; then it’s fate. 
and that’s what the two of you were. it was fate that you two met during freshman orientation, it was fate that you two got together despite the fears of losing each other in the process, and it was fate that you still returned to sunghoon even after a whole year of being away. 
but this time, neither of you would be losing the other. 
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srjlvr · 11 months ago
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HOW TO NOT SURVIVE HIGHSCHOOL
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LYING to his friends about having a girlfriend was definitely not on his ‘how to survive highschool’ list and now, he has to convince his biggest rival that will surely laugh at his face, to fake date him.
PAIRING. rugby player+rival!sunghoon X rival-fem!reader (mentions of the rest of enha, aespa’s karina and boynextdoor taesan)
GENRE. childhood enemies to fake dating to lovers, angst, comedy, fluff and idk what more.
WARNINGS. young sunghoon’s a bitch, so is young y/n, also older sunghoon’s a bitch and so is y/n, manipulating here and there, misunderstandings, miscommunications, definitely curse words (seventh graders already know how to curse here!) , horrible humor, ik its weird but all of the mentioned idols here are the same age! (lmk if i missed something pls!)
WORD-COUNT. 10.4k+
NOTE. ok fine! bully me for not knowing how to make a pretty cover, its the story that matters though, right? anyways besties i really dunno when will be my next update so please be patient!! i miss writing and being here 24/7 honestly but its just been really hard for me.
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“i need you to fake date me”
“no”
“please?”
“are you seriously begging right now?”
“yes?”
“that’s fun, get on your knees and beg more”
“are you nuts? i’ll never do that”
“fine then, pay me for that”
“how much?”
“two”
“dollars?”
“billions”
if there’s one thing sunghoon can say about himself is that he’s quite an organized person, therefore he made a list for highschool.
a list that will help him survive his last years in highschool and will help him stay sane at the same time.
he called his list “how to survive highschool”, creative, right?
he’s been following his list and so far managed to survive just perfectly.
staying in rugby team with his friends? check!
“sunghoon! catch!” he heard a voice calling him and saw a ball coming right at him, he caught the ball and ran with it, then passing the ball to riki, his friend and teammate who scored the game and ended it with a win.
“that was a good one! take a break and return in thirty minutes!” the rugby team’s coach clapped and sent the players off for break.
“hey! i got your exam grades here! come collect them!” jungwon, one of sunghoon’s friends waved the exams to show the players he got the them in his hands.
sunghoon went up to jungwon and took his own.
get high grades? check!
“i got A+ again!” he looked at the grade and excitedly smiled.
“ugh, you’re making me sick being the nerdy rugby player” jay, another friends of his rolled his eyes.
“you’re just jealous my grades are higher than your chances with your crush” sunghoon joked.
“oh you—“ “enough! no fighting on break time” heeseung cut jay in the middle of his sentence.
“let’s just get something to snack, it’s lunch time anyway” sunoo suggested and they all nodded.
“you guys ready?” riki asked before they entered the hallway.
get popular enough so students will freak out when they see you? check!
“sunghoon! i got you this chocolate snack! please accept this and enjoy it” a one random student handed him the chocolate snack.
before he could take it, jake snatched it and smiled, “i’ll take that, thank you” and left the girl and sunghoon speechless.
“dude what the fuck?” he asked his friend.
“it could be poisoned for all you care” jake shrugged but proceeded to take a bite from the snack as they kept walking.
“let’s just sit right there!” jungwon pointed at one lunch table as they entered the cafeteria.
“really? right in front of where y/n is sitting?” sunoo whispered in his ear.
“sure, let’s do that” sunghoon replied and started walking towards the table.
“um, i’ll go grab the snacks” riki said and ran to get the snacks.
“did he just-“ “oh, it’s going to be interesting” jake smirked and watched sunghoon as he walked really closer to you, who was sitting with your back towards him.
“so, what are your plans for the weekend?” your friend karina asked as she took a bite of your food.
“oh i don’t really know, probably chilling at home and—“ you were cut off middle sentence by someone bumping into you, causing you to spill some of your food on your uniform.
“what the fuck?” you turned around and saw the person behind it, “should’ve known it was you, park”
get yourself a rival so it’ll be more fun and interesting….? check!
“sorry, couldn’t see you there” he smirked.
“just go away” you rolled your eyes at him and turned to your friend who looked awkward as hell.
“sure” he started to walk but bumped into you again, causing you to spill more food on your clothes.
“oops! that happened again” he chuckled and continued to walk to the table.
“that’s it” that was your last straw.
you got up and took your water bottle, “y/n dont—“ your friend tried to stop you but it was too late already.
as you got closer to sunghoon, you poured all your water on him.
“what the—“ “sorry!! i slipped over and spilled some on you!!” you replied with a smirk and stormed off.
his friends who were watching the whole thing from afar, walked closer to now drenched sunghoon and started laughing.
“damn, that was fun. do it again!” jay cheered.
“here sunghoon i got you a towel!” a student walked up to him and handed him a towel to dry himself.
“thank you, i’ll take it” sunoo said and took the towel.
sunghoon glared at him, “what? you’re already used to being drenched by sweat, it’s the same thing, no?”
“i hate him” you rolled your eyes.
“say, what’s the deal with you and sunghoon? you never really told me and i just assumed he annoys you because he’s a nerdy rugby player,” she chuckled, “but it seems more than that”
“park sunghoon has been on my ass ever since seventh grade” you sighed.
“why? what happened on seventh grade?” she asked, leaving everything she was busy on behind and crossing her hands to focus on you and you only.
before seventh grade you and sunghoon were best friends, hell, your parents could’ve sworn that one day you’ll end up marrying each other.
you were stuck like a glue, always around each other and doing basically everything together, no one could tear you apart.
until, seventh grade happened.
you were the top student in class, you aced everything, from math to arts and received praises from all teachers. for the last few days of school, the teacher wanted you to show the whole school your arts project.
you drew your favorite view, which was your house garden, the teacher got so excited over the drawing and decided she wants you to show it to everyone else too.
a day before the last day of school, you were busy doing the last touches of your art, sunghoon was busy doing his usual, which was to annoy you.
“sunghoon stop! i need to focus” you scoffed.
sunghoon shrugged, “but i’m bored”
“go play around with others or something” you sighed.
he shook his head, “not when i can annoy you!”
he walked back and forth, even twirled around, until he became dizzy and accidentally pushed you over your drawing, making it look like a big mess over the canvas.
you let out a yelp and looked at it with teary eyes.
“i….i’m sorry!” he quickly said.
“get out!” you yelled without even looking at him.
“it can be fixed! just a few little—“ “i asked you to get out! you ruined my drawing! how will i be able to show it to everyone now?” at this point you started crying.
you didn’t show your unfinished and ruined art in front of everyone, instead it was sunghoon’s drawing that was shown to everyone.
your teacher saw the ruined art and decided to change the plans by taking sunghoon’s project and showing it to everyone.
jealousy was eating you alive. it was supposed to be you up there on stage, showing the project to everyone and getting the compliments, you deserve that after working so hard.
it was sunghoon’s fault, all of it.
before you walked away with your parents, sunghoon called you a few times. at first you ignored his callings, but your parents, unbeknown to the whole story behind it, stopped your tracks and told you to go to sunghoon.
with heavy steps you walked closer to him, “what do you want?” you coldly asked.
“i wanted to apologize” he took a deep breath.
“great, you just did”
“wait—“
“we’re good now, i forgive you” you lied. you just didn’t feel like hearing his excuses and explanations.
“wow, really?”
“yeah” no.
although you told sunghoon you forgive him, things became really awkward between the two of you.
summer vacation arrived and you did your best to ignore him, except the times where he left you no choice and just randomly showed up at your house.
eighth grade was cool between the two of you, but you still held strong feelings against him.
he tried his best to overcome the weird awkwardness between the two of you, you’re too important for him to let go. he was honestly so scared of entering highschool without you by his side.
the second half of eighth grade was the last straw between the two of you.
you started crushing over someone in your class, and started hanging out with him, slowly getting close to the guy.
sunghoon, who was carefully watching you from behind, didn’t like your new crush, he seemed like bad news to him, getting close not only to you, but to other girls as well.
your parents, who were strict that time, warned you about dating a guy at such young age, and sunghoon had to do what he had to do.
“park, what the fuck?” you came up to him and pushed him.
“what?” he asked surprised.
“why the fuck did you tell my parents about him?” you shout.
“oh,” he rolled his eyes, “so it’s about him”
“of course it’s about him! you know about my long time crush on him!”
“he’s bad news y/n” sunghoon tried to warn you.
“no, you’re bad news! i should’ve known not to forgive you at all” you scoffed and walked away.
“y/n, wait!” sunghoon called you but you were faster than the light and suddenly was nowhere to be found.
“uh oh” jay, who was there to witness everything pat his friend’s back, “you fucked up”
“yeah, thanks jay i really needed that” sunghoon rolled his eyes.
“really? going behind her back and telling her parents about some guy? you could’ve just talked with her about it” jay snapped.
“it’s not that easy”
“it sure isn’t, and so will be your attempts to talk with her”
jay was right, sunghoon tried everything to get to talk with you, followed you everywhere, sent you numerous texts and calls until you had to block his number, even showed up at your house a few times. nothing helped.
so sunghoon, being the cool teenager he is, decided to move on. he doesn’t need you anymore anyways.
nineth grade came and so did a new student that sunghoon couldn’t take his eyes off of.
slowly he tried his best to get closer to her and spending more time with her, he was so close to confess his feelings towards her.
“did you do that on purpose?” she asked, nothing but hatred in her eyes as she looked at sunghoon.
“do what…?” he asked confused.
“did you tell the whole school about my family issues?” she raised her voice.
“what? no! i would never—“
“forget it, you’re such a jerk!” she yelled and stormed out.
“wait!!” he called her and was about to run after her but his eyes caught a glimpse of a person smirking.
he clenched his jaw and moved closer to the figure, “what the fuck did you do?” he asked.
“nothing, i don’t know what you’re talking about” the person shrugged.
“don’t play dumb, y/n. i know you had something to do with it” he rolled his eyes.
“still don’t know what you’re talking about” you shrugged again, “maybe someone’s just taking a revenge on you, i don't know” you added and left with a smirk.
“i hate you choi y/n!” he shout. “it’s mutual park sunghoon!”
“oh now i get it! yes girl! give him the revenge he deserves to get” karina cheered and you nodded.
“but, don’t you think he ruined your chances with your crush just because he was jealous?” she asked and you glared at her, “i mean, even your parents could’ve sworn you’d end up getting married”
“even if he was jealous, he should’ve confronted me about it” you replied and she nodded.
“you’re right” she sighed, “but what if he was, i don’t know, scared?”
“are you seriously on his side now?” you asked in disbelief.
“never!” she hugged you and you giggled.
“let’s get you cleaned up, i think i have an extra uniform in my locker”
“oh no, walking in school hallways like that is like just straight up asking to be bullied”
“i won’t let anyone bully you bae, let’s go”
“by the way! all of you are invited to my brother’s wedding, no single hoes are invited though, that includes you sunghoon” heeseung chuckled,
“sweet! when is it?” jake asked.
“in a month”
“what? you cannot be serious!” sunghoon complained.
“sorry, your single ass will not be able to handle this wedding” heeseung shrugged.
“even riki has a partner before you” sunoo laughed.
“guys just realized sunghoon is really the only one single here” jungwon added which made everyone laugh and make jokes about him.
“all of you can shut up because i actually do have a girlfriend”
heeseung was obviously joking about sunghoon not being invited because he’s single, but he was not expecting to hear his friend confessing that he actually is seeing someone now.
sunghoon was also not expecting that big lie to come out of his mouth, but it was already too late.
“what?” jungwon spoke first after the silence that surrounded after his confession.
“i do have a girlfriend” no sunghoon, you can still get away with it and say you were joking.
sunghoon’s list of surviving highschool has a lot of tasks still left untouched, but this one was definitely not, and was never written, as one of his tasks on his list.
lie to your friends about having a girlfriend? definitely not on the list, stop with the lies!!!
his friends looked at him in shock. riki dropped the spoon he was about to shove into his mouth, jake choked on his water and heeseung pat his back, jay almost fainted and jungwon and sunoo froze in their place.
“what?” sunghoon asked.
they all burst into laughter, “that was a good one! i almost believed you!” riki wiped his tears that fell down because of the amount of laughter he let out.
“i’m serious!” sunghoon scoffed.
“you? a girlfriend? sunghoon, i saw your ‘how to survive highschool’ list, you had a ‘no matter what, stay single until you finish highschool!’ line!” jay chuckled.
“i can break one line its not a big deal, besides, she’s definitely worth it” sunghoon smiled.
he’s talking about no one, no one comes to his mind at the moment, but he still keeps on with his lie.
“will we be able to see her before the wedding?” heeseung asked.
“a day before maybe” sunghoon nodded.
“hey! we’re already late for practice! get up everyone now!!” jungwon checked the clock and hurried everyone up.
sunghoon knows he fucked up, real bad. he never had a normal conversation with a girl in highschool, and let’s not forget about the fact that everyone talks to him as if he has some kind of royal blood.
the only real friendship he had with a girl was with you in his childhood. and you’re the only girl who can talk back to him without feeling threatened. wait, that’s it!
“i need you to fake date me”
curse him and his very awful impulse control.
as soon as sunghoon finished his practice he went to the library, figured he’d find you there and apparently he was right.
the book you were reading was long forgotten as you tried to process what you just heard.
“no” you replied shortly.
“please?” he sounded so desperate.
“are you seriously begging right now?”
“yes?”
“that’s fun, get on your knees and beg more” you smirked.
“are you nuts? i’ll never do that” he frowned and rolled his eyes.
“fine then, pay me for that”
“how much?”
“two”
“dollars?”
“billions”
“hell no”
“kiss my ass goodbye then” you shrugged.
“you’re unbelievable”
“said the one who barged into the library and started begging me to date him”
“yeah, it’ll help you become popular” he slightly nodded.
“right, you’re already popular and have multiple fans or whatever, why don’t you just ask them?”
“it’ll just make things worse!”
“fuck off sunghoon, i’m not going to fake date you and help you because of some stupid lie you told” you rolled your eyes and got back to reading the book.
he tried begging you once more but at this point you just decided to ignore him until he left.
“what the heck was that?” you asked yourself and shook your head.
“hey y/n!” you heard a voice calling you and you immediately recognized this voice.
it belonged to taesan, your classmate and also your longtime crush. taesan’s quite popular amongst the students, and surprising so, he’s not a rugby player.
you’ve made a pros and cons lists about your few old crushes and also made one about your current crush, taesan.
pros? he’s funny, smart, creative, caring, friendly, kind and would prefer to spend his free time in the library with you.
cons?
“hey sunghoon dude! didn’t see you there, what are you doing here?”
he’s sunghoon’s best friend. that is a BIG no no for you.
“just came to check something, studying again?” sunghoon smirked as he looked at you.
did he seriously wait for taesan to come so he could spend more time annoying you?
“yeah, it’s my studying with y/n time, we’ve been doing that for a while” taesan smiled widely and winked at you.
without even noticing your cheeks started to heat up. but your blushing cheeks were already noticed by someone who’s definitely going to use that against you.
“right, i’m not going to interrupt you two, enjoy!” sunghoon said as he gave you one last smirk before turning around and leaving.
“isn’t he so weird sometimes? i can definitely understand why you hate his guts” taesan chuckled and you nodded.
“how are you today anyway? didn’t see you that much” he smiled.
“so far so good, you?”
“great now that i’m here with you”
you tried your best to stop your racing heart beats after hearing what he said and making eye contact with him.
you just giggled and opened a book right away, “let’s just start with this book!”
after some time that felt like half an hour to you (but was actually two hours or so) it was time to go back home.
“let me walk you home” taesan suggested.
“it’s okay, i live closeby, if so i’m the one who needs to walk you home” you giggled.
“i insist”
you didn’t reply to him and just walked out of the library as he followed you.
“oh hey y/n, taesan!” you stopped your trace when you noticed sunghoon standing right outside the library.
“sunghoon? why are you still here?” taesan asked, emphasizing the last question.
“just walked by after dropping yeji at her friend’s house, also i promised y/n i’ll walk her home, right y/n?”
you looked at him confused but he gave you the ‘you better say yes now’ look, and besides, you didn’t want to bother taesan with the long walk.
“right, i completely forgot, i’m really sorry taesan, next time i’ll be the one to walk you home!” you said and he nodded.
“don’t worry about it!” he said, quite confused since he never saw the both of you getting along and actually walking home together, even though you live right across each other.
sunghoon took your hand and dragged you away from taesan.
“what the fuck park?”
“walking him home? seriously? your lazy ass could never” he teased and you rolled your eyes.
“fuck off sunghoon, why are you really here?”
“i’ve got a deal to offer” he stopped you from walking and you glared at him.
“no”
“you haven’t heard it yet”
“i don’t care, it’s a no from me, i can never trust you” you scoffed and started walking away.
“i’ll help you to get close to taesan!” he said and you froze for a second, “i don’t need your help”
“oh but you do” he smirked as he figured he got your weakness point, “you’ve been acting awfully trying to hide your little crush on him”
“what do you need?” you asked, half convinced.
“a month” he said straightforwardly.
“are you—“
“a month of fake dating and then i’ll let you tell everyone you broke up with me and broke my heart and whatever you want” he licked his lips, “i’ll help you get closer to taesan too”
“i need a day to think about it” you sighed.
“fine” he said, full of hopes and prayers.
as you arrived you bid your goodbyes for the first time in years, and it never felt so weird as much as it just did.
as you entered the house you took a quick shower and ate, right after that you ran to get your phone a called karina.
“i think you should do it, a month wouldn’t be so bad, plus, he did say he’ll help you get close to taesan” she said.
“can i really trust him though? he ruined my chances with my crush once already” you groaned.
“you’re right, don’t trust that guy”
“but he’s also the only one that could get me close to taesan”
“right again, trust him fully and agree to that deal”
“you’re not helping me at all!!” you complained.
“i don’t know bae, i guess that if i was you i would’ve probably go with what my heart says”
“cliché much, aren’t we?”
“i didn’t know what to say!”
“i guess i just…”
“really? are you for real? is it really happening right now? i need you to sign this contract right now before you regret” sunghoon’s eyes widened and his lips formed into a little smile.
you rolled your eyes, “don’t make me regret this”
“okay okay, i won’t, let’s just find a spot where we could talk” he said and took your hand.
he dragged you to an empty classroom and closed the door.
“so,” he spoke, “we need rules”
“no shit sherlock”
“can you stop being an actual bitch for a second and hear me out?” he spat and you rolled your eyes.
“i’ll be walking you home, mornings and afternoons no matter what” he said.
“does that really matter? i mean, no one sees us” you sighed.
“that’s what you think, my friends are stalkers it’s actually scary”
“whatever”
“we’ll be posting pictures together which means we’re going to have to go on date—“
“im gonna stop you right there” you cut him off middle sentence, “you can just use pictures from pinterest”
“what?”
“there’s no chance im going on dates with you” you argued.
“you agreed to this fake dating, you need to face the consequences”
you groaned and he continued, “kissing is not prohibited, you can kiss me whenever you want, if it’s necessary”
you felt like throwing up hearing this sentence.
“who’s gonna buy that? just yesterday you were bumping into me and acting like a total bitch in front of everyone” you rolled your eyes.
“it’s as simple as that, we’ll say we’ve been forced by our parents to come as a couple to an event and we had a deep conversation about our past and after a while of reuniting i asked you out and we decided to hide our relationship until now” he shrugged.
“wow,” you clapped, “you thought about it the whole day yesterday didn’t you?”
“no…” he scratched his nape and looked everywhere but at you.
“sure” you nodded, completely not believing what he just said.
“anyways it’s all settled, we’ll be posting a picture today after school” he said and was about to leave the classroom.
“one more thing,” he said, “pda is a must, therefore you’d have to give me your hand and we’d have to go hand in hand to classroom”
“just say you want to hold my hand, i’ll take that into consideration, but i’m not interested” you asked annoyed.
“you wish someone would actually want to hold your hand out of his own will” he rolled his eyes.
“you haven’t touched a single soul in your entire life”
“just shut up” he sighed.
“never as long as your annoying ass is right besides me”
he just groaned and took your hand.
“starting now” he nodded, “it’ll make everyone confuse until we reveal our relationship”
“yuck, even calling it a relationship is making me want to throw up”
“hope your stupid brain knows it’s mutual but whatever, just don’t act like that when we’re together”
walking through the hallway while everyone is whispering and glancing at you was never a problem to sunghoon, it was a big problem for you though.
you tried letting go of sunghoon’s hand to stop the whispering and glancing but he held you tighter.
“it’s okay, calm down i’m here with you” he whispered.
as much as you’d like to deny it, it made you feel somewhat safe.
however, it’s the park sunghoon we’re talking about. your worst enemy.
“is that supposed to make me feel better?” you whispered back.
“and we’re here, outside your classroom” he changed the subject and stopped right outside of your class while everyone else kept looking at the two of you.
“i’ll wait for you after class” he winked and left a peck on your forehead before leaving to his classroom.
you so wished you could wipe it off at the moment. or at least, you think.
“what the fuck did i just saw?” karina walked up to you as soon as sunghoon left.
“we have a lot to catch on” you sighed and dragged her inside the classroom.
“and you agreed?!?”
“ms. karina and ms. y/n, would you like to share to your class what were you talking about?” the teacher knocked on the desk.
“no, we’re sorry” you said quietly and the teacher went back to teaching.
“you told me to follow what my heart says!” you whispered-yelled to her.
“i didn’t think it’d say to agree to it!!” she replied back.
“well i did, and now i’m stuck with the worst person ever”
“maybe he’s not that bad”
“get out karina”
“can’t, we’re in the middle of a class” she shrugged and you groaned.
“so you’re now dating your worst ever enemy, the infamous woman in this highschool, choi y/n?!!”
“yes jake, i don’t know why it’s so surprising to you” sunghoon rolled his eyes as he took a bite from his lunch.
“surprising only to him? sunghoon, just a few days ago you called her an attention seeker bitch, now you’re telling us you’ve been dating for a few months already?” jungwon asked, concerned.
“well we did great at hiding didn’t we? our parents told us we should sign to drama classes”
“nothing here makes sense” jay shook his head.
lying to his friends about his whole relationship life? was definitely not and never will be on his list but he couldn’t care less about the list anymore.
“life doesn’t make sense, jay” sunghoon sighed, “it just happened, now i can’t stop thinking about her, it’s like i want to spend every minute with her”
“ew, not in front of my salad” riki gagged.
“although it makes no sense to me, i’m happy for you sunghoon, so proud of you for finally getting along with someone” sunoo pat his back.
“hey what do you mean by that?”
“from childhood friends to childhood enemies to lovers, that sounds like an actual pretty good story genre” heeseung crossed his arms and nodded.
“can’t believe you haven’t told me anything about it!” taesan, who for the first time in a while joined their lunch table, lightly pushed sunghoon, completely in disbelief.
“you’re right, i should’ve told you about it before” sunghoon nodded.
sunghoon’s a bad friend. a very, very bad one.
a few weeks ago he had a conversation with who he considers as his best friend, but how could he face him now after this conversation?
“hey hoon! i wanted to ask you something” taesan bit his lips, a bit anxious to start the conversation.
“yeah dude, what’s up?” he asked.
“i know you and y/n are….not on good terms, but i actually started spending some time with her and i’m really interested in her” his eyes lit up from excitement just by talking about you, “wanted to ask you if that’s okay that, you know….”
“yeah for sure! even though i hate this person with all my heart, i can’t decided on your life, can’t see how and why you’re interested in her but whatever, it’s yours” sunghoon shrugged.
“thanks sunghoon, i’m really glad i got you as my friend” taesan hugged sunghoon tightly.
sunghoon definitely knew about taesan’s little crush about you, and the day he told you that taesan has a little crush, he actually meant you.
back to today, sunghoon feels like his whole life was tearing apart.
how could he betray his friend like that? after everything taesan did to him. from helping him with studies to even paying for the things he couldn’t.
taesan shook his head and smiled weakly, “whatever makes you happy sunghoon” he said.
sunghoon was expecting him to shout at him and get mad about it, but was actually surprised he took it well somehow.
‘i’m doing this for you too’ sunghoon thought, after all, he has the perfect plan for taesan and y/n.
“thanks taesan” sunghoon hugged him tightly and pat his back as a sign for asking for forgiveness.
“that’s not gonna work, too many people are looking at us” you complained as soon as you got out of your last class for the day and noticed sunghoon who was already waiting for you outside.
“with popularity comes the consequences” he shrugged and you rolled your eyes.
“enjoy lovebirds!” jay shouted as he walked past you.
“let’s go” he extended his hand out for you to hold it but you shook your head.
“i promised taesan i’ll review his essay he wrote”
“you can do it tomorrow—“ “can’t, plus you said you’ll help me with taesan, we can go on your stupid fake date later”
sunghoon rolled his eyes and sighed, “fine, i’ll walk you to the library”
when he noticed you smiling he couldn’t help but feel that weird feeling of excitement, but then he realized you were not smiling because of him.
“hey y/n!” taesan smiled warmly at you when he noticed you, “and sunghoon” he added quietly.
“hey taesan” you called with a wider smile on your face and sunghoon nodded.
“i’ll pick you up later then” he said and walked away.
“so…you and sunghoon huh?” taesan asked.
“ugh, don’t even— i felt everyone’s eyes on me throughout the whole day” you groaned.
“you don’t seem that happy with that”
“because i’m not! i’m so tired of it already, i should’ve known not to agree to that deal”
“what deal?”
“uhhhh” you freaked out, how stupid can you actually be??
“nothing!! no deal” you giggled nervously.
“if you say so” he shrugged and opened his laptop to show you his essay.
“why dont you just tell him?” karina asked you over the phone.
“and what will i say if he asks why i agreed to the deal?”
“simple, ‘i did it because i want sunghoon to help me date you’, like that”
“sure, it’s that easy” you rolled your eyes.
“how was your first day dating sunghoon anyway?”
“he took me to get some ice cream, he actually remembers my favorite taste”
“yeah i saw on your instagram story, if i didn’t happen to know that this is all fake i’d actually believe it” she said teasingly.
“can’t believe i’m saying this but” you sighed, “he’s not that bad to hang out with”
you expected a reply from her right away but all you heard was silence.
“karina?”
“i can’t believe this conversation is not being recorded” she finally spoke.
“forget that i said tha—“ “no no no! please continue”
“well….he was actually super nice and even paid for my ice cream, even found a nice spot and brought me his jacket since it was starting to get cold” you said calmly.
“y/n”
“hm?”
“you might end up falling in love with him instead of taesan” she said and you scoffed.
“are you forgetting that he literally ruined my life?”
“i said what i said!” she argued.
eventually you ended the call and drifted off to dreamland.
“so….”
a few days passed since you revealed your (fake) relationship and today was the first day you sat with seven other people at your lunch table.
“you and sunghoo—“
“stop it”
“sunghoon and yo—“
“shut it!”
sunghoon’s friends tried to ease up the awkward situation but were shut off by you and sunghoon.
“we just think it’s weird that’s all!! it’ll pass sooner or later” jay chuckled.
“so y/n, how’s life?” riki asked.
“seriously?” sunghoon raised his brow.
“babe, it’s okay,” you almost gagged after using the nickname on sunghoon, “life’s fun, you never know which surprises awaits for you”
you raised sunghoon’s hand and showed everyone your locked hands.
“ew, don’t need to use those nicknames and act all cheesy here” jake teased.
“you wanted to meet my girlfriend didn’t you? here she is” sunghoon spoke.
that’s when it got to you. sunghoon lied to his friends about having a girlfriend! why did he choose you though? out of hundreds of students.
“you’re right” heeseung nodded, “if you already know each other so well, why don’t we ask you questions about sunghoon and you answer?”
“baby you don’t have to—“ “it’s okay, hit me with the questions”
“sunghoon’s favorite color?”
“white”
“his favorite season”
“used to be winter, it’s autumn now”
“favorite ice cream flavor?”
“um” you froze for a second.
“ah ha! got you”
“coffee”
“aw man, you suck!” riki said in disappointment after you answered all the questions correctly.
sunghoon in the meantime was busy staring at you and daydreaming.
when did you become so pretty? with your cute eyes that lit up every time you answered a question correctly, and your lips that formed into a smile when you noticed you won over his friend’s questions.
how come you remember those details about him as well?
he had tons of questions, but curse his inability to communicate well, he’ll probably leave those questions unanswered.
the only thing he does know, is that he’s scared to fall in love with you.
“babe? are you ready to go? let me walk you to the field now, you have practice”
you called him and he zoned out, for a second there he really forgot this is all fake.
the way you’d look at him and call him babe, it made him feel so weird, he had never felt like that before.
“yeah” he slightly nodded and got up.
when both of you arrived at the field he stopped in front of you and frowned.
“what if i’ll just take you on a date instead of practice?” he asked.
“sunghoon what the fuck? we’re all alone here nobody sees you, you don’t need to act all lovey dovey” you snapped back.
“right” he said, almost sounding too disappointed.
“i’ll go back now to the library, taesan’s waiting” you smiled and started walking away.
“pull yourself together sunghoon” he sighed and entered the field.
“hey” you called taesan as you saw him already sitting at your usual library desk.
“hey y/n!” he called you back excitedly.
“missed being with you after school, i went on too many dates with sunghoon lately” you sighed.
“yeah” he whispered, you could hear a bit of disappointment in his voice but he shrugged it off quickly, “hey how about instead of studying we’ll go hang out, i got pretty tired of reading today”
“sure! of course, i would love to!!” you excitedly replied.
taesan got up and held your hand, “let’s go watch some movies”
practice ended and sunghoon went straight to the library without even showering first. he couldn’t wait telling you how his friends couldn’t stop talking about you and praising your (again, fake) relationship.
he looked at the clock and it was usually around the time you and taesan would finish and get out, only this time you were nowhere to be found.
sunghoon started to freak out, what if something bad happened to you? did taesan leave you alone? what if he did something bad to you?
no, no. sunghoon was just freaking out.
he tried calling you, but your phone was turned off, you weren’t available.
he ran all the way to your home and asked your mother if she happened to see you, but got a negative answer.
“why, is she missing?” your mother asked and tried to stay calm.
“no of course not!” sunghoon awkwardly said, “we’re just playing hide and seek that’s all, i was wondering if she walked all the way here to hide in her room”
seriously sunghoon? that’s the best thing you got?
“alright, have fun!” it seemed like it made your mom believe him!
“y/n where the fuck are you?” he whispered to himself.
he decided to call taesan, “if he’s not answering i swea—“
“hey dude, what’s up?” his friend on the other line answered calmly.
“do you happen to know where y/n is?” he straightforwardly asked.
“yeah, she’s right next to me, didn’t she tell you we’re going to watch some movies?” taesan’s voice stayed calm but on the inside he was smirking.
taesan 1, sunghoon 0.
“she probably forgot or something” sunghoon giggled, “when do you plan on coming back?”
“don’t know, but don’t worry dude, i’ll make sure she gets home safely”
“yeah, okay” sunghoon said and ended the call.
“who was that?” you asked.
“your boyfriend, didn’t you tell him we’re here?”
“oh no, i forgot about it”
“yeah he was worried sick”
“i think we should head back now” you let out a sigh.
“okay, sure” he nodded and both of you got up.
you don’t know why you said it instead of staying the whole night just watching random movies with your longtime crush.
what the hell did this fake dating with sunghoon do to you?
taesan walked you until it was already safe for you to walk alone, you argued with him that it’s fine and your house was a minute away, he tried insisting but you didn’t budge.
both of you knew why you wanted to walk over to your house alone.
sunghoon 1, taesan 1.
you really tried using you muscle memory and walk to your door with your eyes closed so you won’t have to meet with—
“well who do we have here”
“i really didn’t want to see you here now” you sighed and opened your eyes.
“i was worried sick! why didn’t you just send me a text or whatever?” he spit out and you never really realized how irritating his voice is until now.
“what are you? my mom? why do i have to tell you my whereabouts?” you snapped.
“we’re dating, of course—“ “hell no we’re not, this whole thing is fake and you know it, i dont owe you shit, park”
for the first time sunghoon was stunned and speechless because of you. he did not know what to say or even process what the hell just happened. and why the fuck was he so annoyed by you going to the movies with taesan?
“if you dont have anything to say just go” you sighed and just like that he left.
you finally got inside your room and laid on your bed, thinking about your last events and how stupid it was of you to go home early because of that fucking rat who was ‘worried’ over you.
your phone buzzed and when you looked at the caller ID you smiled.
“just checking that you arrived safely”
“i’m not a five years old kid taesan,” you chuckled and got up to sit on the edge of your bed, “besides, it was a minute walk from where you left me”
“alright, was just checking if you were still alive” he giggled.
“hey taesan”
“hm?”
“let’s hang out more, i had real fun today”
“all i was just asking is for you to text me if there’s a change of plans! i was really worried because i knew i had to pick you up but you were nowhere to be seen” that is how your morning started, for the past few days it because a routine for you to have a morning and after school walk with sunghoon, and each morning you’d have a little fight.
this time, even though you hate to admit it, he’s right.
“you’re right, i should’ve told you beforehand, i just got super excited to go out with taesan so i forgot about it, besides you’re supposed to be happy for me, i’m finally getting closer to my crush” you huffed.
“thank you, and yeah, i’m super happy” he rolled his eyes and you nodded.
“another thing, heeseung’s brother is having a wedding in less than a month and we have to go there together, as a couple” he said, “after the wedding we’ll plan the break up and will part our ways”
“sounds like a plan to me” you shrugged.
“no matter what happens, please just show up to his brother’s wedding, i think heeseung already favors you so much, he always did but i always warned him not to get too close to you”
“obviously you did” you rolled your eyes, “but i will do it, for him and for his happiness”
“thank you” he said sincerely.
“wow, didnt know you could be genuine”
“just shut up and continue to walk”
two weeks passed and as much as you hate to admit it, dating sunghoon park isn’t something that bad.
you went to all kinds of ‘dates’ together, that one amusement park date was your favorite.
“no no no no! don’t go too high, y/n hold my hand tight!” he yelled on one of the roller coasters you forced him to get on, “i think i’m gonna throw up oh no, here it comes! i hate it here”
while he was busy yelling, you were busy laughing your ass off at him. he was cute, you admit.
it reminded you of that time you went to an amusement park together when you were kids, he remained the same, nothing changed.
as you got tired of the amusement park, he took you to a restaurant and both of you sat one in front of the other.
“i like it here, this place is designed so beautifully” you said.
“not as beautiful as you” he mumbled.
“hm?” you asked and he shook his head, “nothing”
“you know, it wasn’t so bad today, i really had fun” he started speaking, “reminded me of our childhood”
“yeah, i thought about that too” you nodded.
“i kinda miss it” i kinda miss you, he wanted to say, but he felt like it’d be too much.
sunghoon that day realized his strong feelings for you never left, and probably never will. your past antics were long forgotten and all he wanted was to hold you in his arms and tell you how much he loves you, and he have always had.
“i kinda miss it too” you replied and it was like an unspoken tension between the two of you.
none of you would talk after that and just walked home in silence, but it was a comforting one.
“girl, he’s super like, into you, and you’re so like, into him too” karina said after you told her about the amusement park date.
“am not! i’ve been actually going out with taesan a lot, i really really like him” you smiled.
“whatever you say girl!”
“i actually am going to hang out with taesan today, i’ll update you on everything, bye bae” you smiled and ended the call to get ready for your hangout with taesan.
an hour later he sent you a text that he’s already waiting and you got out of your house right away.
“you look, really pretty” taesan was being so stunned by your beauty that he forgot how to talk.
“thank you” you smiled, “so, where are we going?”
“a new arcade just opened and i know how much you love arcades so i just thought of testing it out”
“oh my god you really do know me so well!!” you took out your phone to text sunghoon about your whereabouts.
you became more responsible and it suddenly didn’t bother you as much to text him about it, it almost became a habit of you.
‘off to the new arcade that opened up with taesan, don’t you worry about me’ you texted him and closed your phone.
as you arrived your eyes roamed around the big arcade and suddenly you looked like a five years old child who just got their first ever vanilla ice cream.
“what are we waiting for? let’s just go!!” taesan cheered and you clapped.
after hours and hours of playing you both went to sit down by the nearest park there.
“it was so fun today, we have to do it again!” you grinned and taesan nodded.
it suddenly became so quiet and you noticed taesan was staring at you for too long.
“are you okay?”
“i know about you and sunghoon,” he spoke, “about your fake dating thing”
you were too stunned to speak.
“i heard you arguing on the same day we went to the movies, i wanted to check on you if you arrived safely but i noticed you and sunghoon talking and i couldn’t help but eavesdrop” he shrugged.
“oh” was all you could let out.
“i was actually glad to find out that this whole thing with you and sunghoon was fake”
“what do you mea—“ “i like you y/n, a lot” he cut you middle sentence and you felt so weird hearing his confession.
“oh! there you are!” before you could even respond to taesan you heard a voice calling the both of you.
you turned around and saw the one and only, park sunghoon. what was he doing here?
a few days ago taesan asked to meet up with sunghoon. he confessed to him about knowing your fake relationship and told sunghoon he was going to confess to you.
“i like y/n, a lot, you already know that” he said.
“what’s your plan?” sunghoon asked.
“asking her out after going to that new arcade” he exposed his plan, and sunghoon’s cue to stop the confession was a simple text from you about your whereabouts.
sunghoon for the second time chose to be a shitty and egoistic ass friend, and prevent his so called ‘best friend’ from confessing to you.
but of course sunghoon wouldn’t tell you all of that.
“me and y/n were planning to go on a date today! i guess she forgot” sunghoon smirked.
“cut it sunghoon, i know you’re not really dating” taesan clenched his jaw.
“doesn’t matter, i still made us a reservation for this new restaurant” sunghoon rolled his eyes and dragged you away.
you were too shocked by the whole scene that only when you arrived back to your home you realized what happened.
“did you just—” you sighed, “ruined my fucking chance with taesan?” you felt your blood starting to boil.
“what do you mean?” he asked confused.
“taesan just fucking confessed and you just fucking showed up and dragged me away, what the fuck were you thinking?” you shout.
“y/n i—“
“you what, sunghoon? want to ruin my life once again? just like you did with my painting from seventh grade and my crush from eighth grade?” you snapped.
“you seriously still hold that against me? we were in seventh grade for god’s sake!”
“and it ruined my life ever since then! did you become your family’s disappointment? because i did, oh! and funny enough, not only that seventh grade made them disappointed in me, but also my stupid crush on eighth grade that you decided to snitch on!” you looked at him in disbelief.
“what about my crush from nineth grade then, huh? not only you lied to her and told her i spread the rumors about her, you made me look like the bad guy and the other students refused to talk to me for months! you basically made everyone back away from me!”
“and rightfully so” you rolled your eyes.
“y/n, look” sunghoon ran his hands through his hair and sighed,
“save it park, i don’t want to hear from you ever again, i had a blast ignoring you for the last few years and i’ll continue having a blast if it’ll continue that way” you lied through your teeth, “we’ll only talk when necessary and cut ties after heeseung’s brother’s wedding”
“y/n” sunghoon called you again but you already walked away and entered your house.
sunghoon knows he fucked up, and he realized there were so many miscommunications between the two of you over the past few years and he didn’t know how to fix it.
meanwhile you, the minute you stepped inside your room and closed the door, you started crying.
you didn’t know how to feel with yourself. you were glad that sunghoon cut you off before you could answer taesan, because surprisingly so, you were about to reject him.
taesan is a nice guy, he really is, and he really was your longtime crush, until your old crush entered your life again.
you realized you gained back your feelings the moment sunghoon opened his mouth to genuinely talk with you, in fact, those feelings never really left.
you found yourself so focused on the way that his dimples would always show while smiling and talking to you, or the way his fangs would show up with every smile he gives you.
but you couldn’t help but let your blood boil after his whole ‘i’m not going to let y/n have another chance with someone’ show, it made you think about your past and you hated it.
the next few weeks felt normal to everyone but you, sunghoon and taesan.
you and sunghoon acted as if nothing happened between the two of you when someone you know happened to be around.
when you two were alone? hell, you won’t even shoot a glance at him.
and as for you and taesan, you told him it’d be better if the both of you would take a short break for a while, just for you to adjust everything.
sunghoon refused to let go of you so easily once again, he tried everything, calling, texting, even calling your parents to ask if you were home and maybe they can tell you to pick your constantly ringing phone up.
it all felt like a deja vu now, but not the good one. you were getting distant again and it scared him that the same thing will happen yet again.
“thank you for coming” sunghoon welcomed the person into his house.
“why are you so stressed? oh no don’t tell me you got someone pregnant”
“jay, i sometimes wonder if your last braincells are just off to go travel or something” sunghoon groaned.
“well, you seem so tense, what is it?”
sunghoon decided to tell jay everything from A to Z, they’ve been best friends for long and he feels like he can trust him wholeheartedly, plus he had to get some help from someone.
“i knew it the moment you told me both of you are dating! it felt so unreal”
“thanks a lot jay, it really helps”
“well, i think im getting a little deja vu for eighth grade”
“exactly! i don’t want this to happen again! i know i fucked up but i….” sunghoon sighed, “i’m willing to do everything as long as i won’t lose her”
“okay first of all, ew dude that’s so cringy” jay said in disgust, “second, i think you just need to give her some time, i’m sure that if you still haven’t heard about her and taesan dating, she might as well was about to reject him”
“then why would she get so angry at me? it doesn’t make sense”
“you took a whole ass opportunity from her to try and sort her things out, of course she’d be pissed”
“right”
“try to talk with karina maybe, she might help you out on this one” jay pat his friend’s shoulder, “besides, the wedding is in a few days and you told me you made her promise you to show up no matter what, it’s not like she can run away from you for long”
“i hate that you’re so right” sunghoon groaned and jay shrugged, “i’m just saying whatever comes to my mind, whenever it comes to my mind”
“what do you want, park?”
“wow you really sound like y/n now” sunghoon sighed as he saw karina looking at him uninterested, “i guess she already told you what happened”
“yes, she did” she also told me she’s scared because she actually has feelings for you, she wanted to say. but its not her place to say it anyway.
“how….is she doing?” he asked quietly.
“why do you care?”
“oh no please don’t make it harder than it already is” he mumbled under his breath.
“because, i need to talk with her, a serious conversation”
“oh no don’t tell me you caught feelings”
“how did you— nevermind, please tell her that i’ll be waiting for her, and i really want to sort things out between us” he sounded so desperate it scared karina.
“i’ll see what i can do” karina nodded and he bit his lips and smiled.
“thank you, thank you, thank you, thank—“ “i get it you can go now!”
he nodded as he got his bag and went for another practice.
“hey bae how are you doing today?” karina hugged you as she sat on your bed.
ever since your last encounter with sunghoon you started missing a few classes here and there, you didn’t really feel like going to school and seeing sunghoon anyway. that’s why karina came to check up on you.
“same as usual, i don’t know”
“i know what you’re thinking” she said and you looked at her creeped out.
“relax, it’s nothing scary” she laughed, “i just know you’re thinking about him”
“am not!” you argued.
“yeah, and i’m queen elizabeth”
you can’t stop thinking about sunghoon, she wasn’t lying really.
you realized how messed up your whole story was. you need answers from him, you need the apology you’ve been waiting to hear, the confirmation that he misses you as much as you miss him. you need to hold him tight and never let him go again.
“fine, you got me” you sighed.
you wish you’d know how to sort things out without going crazy.
“he came up to me today,” she said and your eyes sparkled, “he asked me about you, he’s been so desperate to talk with you, he looked and sounded really sincere”
“i don’t know karina, i’m not sure if i’m ready to face him without getting angry again, it’s just that whenever i see him my blood just starts to boil when i think about our past”
“that’s your problem, you refuse to let go of your past” she put her hand on your shoulder, “just let it go, and get the answers and confirmation you need from him”
you decided not to show up at school ever since your conversation with karina.
sunghoon tried checking up on you multiple times but each time you’d lie to your mother who opened the door for him and told her to tell him that you’re sick. both of you knew it was wrong.
sunghoon was going crazy, his friends couldn’t stop asking about you and about your whereabouts and he could only lie and say that you’ve got really sick and that he’s been taking care of you.
he asked karina about you again and again, until she got tired and told him everything, about your wellbeing and your health.
he was so worried for you it surprised her, he was really acting as if he’s your real boyfriend.
karina would lie if she said she didn’t confuse him as your boyfriend for a while.
“here” sunghoon handed karina a notebook.
“what’s that?” she asked.
“i took some notes on this class, give it to y/n please”
“sunghoon, i’m not some kind of—“
“i know i know you’re not a delivery guy but, i don’t know how to give it to her in any other way” he sighed.
oh the poor guy, she really pities him.
wedding day came and sunghoon was going back and forth in his room.
will you be coming? should he pick you up? you promised him! if not for him then for heeseung!
at the end, jay called him and told him it was becoming too late and he should just come without you.
sunghoon left his house with a heavy heart and empty hands, that were supposed to hold you tightly and close to him.
“hey hoon! you came!!” heeseung welcomed his friend with a hug and a big smile over his face.
“where’s y/n?” he asked.
“oh y/n, she really wanted to come but—“ “but what?” he was cut off by someone else.
when he looked over his shoulder he found you, walking over to them and putting your hands together on sunghoon’s right shoulder.
“i was getting ready and it took me too long to come, so i just told sunghoon to go away so he won’t be late because of me” you smiled and planted a kiss on sunghoon’s cheek.
“i’m so glad you came!!” heeseung smiled widely and hugged you tightly.
sunghoon was still shocked seeing you there, first you walked in, looking gorgeous than ever in the outfit you put on yourself, then you went and put your hands over his shoulder and lastly, you kiss his cheek.
he froze and zoned out for a few seconds until you waved your hands in front of him.
“let’s get in! it’s about to start” you were about to walk in but sunghoon was quick enough to pull you back to him.
he was holding your waist and pulling you closer to him.
“first, you walk in here, looking prettier than any other person here, no offense to the bride, then you smile and kiss my cheeks. i don’t understand, what’s happening?” he asked, his face is closer than ever to yours.
“i don’t want to open it up now—“ “if not now then when?”
you sighed and closed your eyes.
“i only have one question”
“shoot”
“did you really regret what you did back then?”
“of course i did, i still do” he reached your hand to hold it, “look at where it got us”
“why did you ruin my chance with my crush back then?”
“you said only one question”
“okay so maybe now i have more”
“i did it,” sunghoon stayed quiet for a second, is this the right time to confess? “because i really liked you, and i still do” fuck it.
“when we started to fake dating i realized those feelings never left, everytime i look at you i just cant help it but smile, i think it’s way beyond just ‘like you’, i love you y/n” he let go of his hold on your waist and held both of your hands in his.
you stopped breathing for a second as you tried to process what you just heard.
“park sunghoon” you whispered and he hummed.
“i’m here baby”
“i hate you” you said and sunghoon could swear his heart dropped.
“i hate you for making me hate you so much to the point it ruined our friendship for so long” you continued, “you could’ve confessed your feelings and we could’ve been the best highschool couple by now”
sunghoon furrowed his eyebrows, he got so confused by your words.
“if you still didn’t get it, i happen to love you too, you dumbass” you laughed.
without giving you a warning he pulled you into a kiss with a big grin on his face.
it was a desperate kiss, as if he was waiting to do this for so long. both of you didn’t want to part away but you did eventually because of the lack of oxygen.
“i can’t believe we fucked this up because of this stupid painting in seventh grade” that was the first thing he said afterwards.
“you fucked this up and it’s not just a stupid painting!!” you argued and he laughed as he hugged you tightly.
“i’m joking, i’m really sorry for that, and for the crush thing in eighth grade too” he grinned, “but he was just not good for you, you had me the whole time and still wanted him”
you kissed him again and smiled.
“i was too blind i guess”
“can you two cut it off lovebirds? the wedding is about to start” both of you turned your heads and saw annoyed jay standing in front of you.
“sorry! coming” both of you said at the same time.
as you sat one next to each other, sunghoon interlocked your fingers together.
“hey” he whispered and you hummed.
“hearing ‘i love you’ from you really warmed my heart” he smiled, “just letting you know”
“oh really?” you asked and he nodded.
“i love you” you kissed his cheek.
“i’ll keep saying this until you’ll get tired of it”
“which is basically never”
jay groaned and turned to look at the both of you “can you please just stop being so lovey dovey oh my god”
“you were exactly like that on your first days with your girlfriend stop being such an attention seeker” jake rolled his eyes and jay hit him.
“shhhh!! why don’t we just pay attention to heeseung that’s crying right there?”
“just took a picture! will definitely use it to blackmail him!”
“poor little thing only wanted to get emotional in his brother’s wedding”
“soon to be us at sunghoon’s and y/n’s wedding”
and they lived happily ever after! i mean, as much as you can when you have those six people as your friends and karina’s nonstop questions about future kids.
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PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @ohdudehesflirting @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @lovelovelovebts @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @dhriti-stories @ariadores @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 @moons-v @s00buwu @hoonheepretty @jjeoni-7 @dimplewonie (bold means cannot be tagged)
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g0dlyunsub · 7 months ago
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for the night.
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the flight back from a case gets delayed and the team’s forced to book rooms for the night. what a coincidence that you’re paired with spencer.
pairing :: s5!spencer x fem bau!reader
warnings :: fluff, flustered spencer, this is literally just an excuse to write about spencer with crutches
word count :: 1.7k
author’s note :: one of my favorite tropes asfdfafssfsd we all know where this is going right ;)
accompanying song :: let’s fall in love for the night by finneas
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“i have to admit, i am quite surprised. engine failures are extremely rare — statistically, they only occur once every 1.4 million flight hours.”
“uh-huh, very interesting.” you roll your eyes, but the smile that tempts to play on your lips is too overpowering to withhold. 
“it is!” spencer excitedly flashes you a smile. “we’re actually incredibly lucky to avoid an in-flight shutdown, which typically happens once per million flight hours-”
“reid, i think our luck might be running dry here. it’s 1 a.m., the jet’s engines are acting up, and we can’t leave portland.”
you take both of his crutches in your hands with an exasperated sigh. it’s not his fault, and you know better than to project your annoyance at him, but the disappointment of not being able to enjoy a nice, hot shower in the walls of your home has you uptight.
with an apologetic smile, you extend your shoulder to spencer; slowly, he places his hand on you, and you help him carefully descend the jet’s stairs.
the two of you are the last to join the rest of the group on the ground, and hotch sends an acknowledging nod in your direction once he sees that you’ve been assisting spencer. 
“l/n, reid, you guys okay with rooming together for the night?”
the words don’t initially register, and it’s only until spencer speaks up that you realize hotch isn’t asking – he’s confirming.
“we’re rooming in pairs?”
hotch nods, and his sidelong stare roams over spencer’s face like he’s challenging him to continue, to contest his proposal.
“emily? jj?” you pipe up this time, sending a pleading glance at both of them. they look back at you with sheepish smiles. 
“it looked like you guys were having a really good conversation back there. didn’t want to disturb you,” emily returns, slowly raising her shoulders and mouthing sorry.
spencer clears his throat and leans into your ear. “i can probably book a room at another place-”
you widen your eyes and immediately shake your head. “no, that’s not necessary, i’m completely fine with it! unless you’re… not?”
this time, spencer’s the one shaking his head fervently. “oh no, i’m entirely comfortable, perfectly content, uh- sharing a room with you.”
you display an awkward grin. “alright then, perfect.”
“i’ll set your bag on the table, is that okay?”
“yeah, thanks a lot.”
you heave a sigh of relief as you close the door behind you and rest spencer’s bookbag on the wooden table. spencer slowly lowers himself into a chair, and you gently lean his crutches against the walls near the door. 
you’re pleasantly surprised by the room’s decor; its soft carpet floor and mahogany picture frames hanging from the walls easily exceed your expectations for a traditional hotel room.
you’re about to make a comment commending the room’s quality when your eyes zero in on a terrifying sight.
there’s only one bed.
you do a double take, circling around the bedroom once more to check if there’s an extra mattress lying around somewhere – at this point, you really wouldn’t mind if the bed has a trundle.
“fuck me.”
“what?” 
spencer’s eyes immediately divert to you, and he stifles his reaction to your comment with a hasty cough.
you point to the bed, which prompts spencer to crane his neck to get a better view. 
“there’s only one bed.”
spencer’s eyes widen, and his gaze snaps up to your face so fast you wonder if you’ve just made a grave mistake of telling him. 
he was bound to find out anyway.
“it’s okay, i’ll take-” you start, but he cuts you off short.
“the floor? not a chance.”
you press your lips together tightly and gesture to his leg. “please, take the bed. your leg… you’re injured.”
spencer looks down at the floor briefly, a light shade of pink spreading across his face. “no, we can… we can share the bed.”
you feel your cheeks grow hot at his suggestion, but a refusal fails to surface on your lips. 
moving your hands to your hips, you nod slowly. “only because you’re insisting,” you murmur.
a brief silence veils the air, and the two of you have utterly no idea what to do next — neither of you wants to be the one to crawl into bed first.
but the clock’s hour hand had just moved past the two, and you know your eyelids aren’t going to stay open for much longer.
with a weary sigh, you gesture towards the lightswitch. “do you mind if we dimmed the lights a little?”
spencer turns, almost hobbling on his leg, and flips the switch for you. the room turns dark almost instantly, but a faint light emanates from a lamp on the nightstand.
“are you, um, going to sleep soon?”
you hate to be the first one to bring it up, but you have to — you can practically feel the tiredness tempting you like a fuzzy blanket.
“uh yeah, we should sleep.” 
you watch as spencer grabs a pillow from his side of the bed and positions it near the edge of the mattress. you’re about to ask him what he’s doing when he props himself onto the bed and rests his leg on top of the pillow, elevating his casted knee.
oh. as the realization hits you, you reach for your own pillow and gently place it next to his head. “here, use this.”
“that’s your pillow.” 
“i know.”
a soft chuckle sounds from his throat as spencer raises his head ever so slightly, allowing you to tuck the pillow beneath him.
“thanks,” he murmurs, and pats at the space next to him, urging you to join him on the bed.
once you’ve slipped your feet into the blanket, spencer stretches his arm to turn off the lamp and moves back to whisper a hushed good night into your ear.
you turn to say it back. “good n-”
his hand gently starts to wedge under your neck, and as he moves, strands of your hair coil around his fingers. 
he’s offering his arm as a pillow.
you lie frozen, your breath hitched in your throat, as his arm extends fully beneath you. 
“spence,” you exhale, caught off-guard by the sudden move.
“it’s okay. don’t worry about me,” he softly whispers, inclining his head towards your face.
you smile, though you doubt he can see your face in the pitch-black darkness. 
“sweet dreams,” you hum, and close your eyes to let sleep overtake you.
you wake up not to the sound of your alarm, not to the birds usually perched on the tree outside your window, but to the sound of spencer clearing his throat.
you think it’s a dream at first, but you can feel everything — the vibrations coming from his throat like he’s talking to you, his hands stroking a pattern on your back, his breaths tickling your hair.
you open your eyes to see spencer staring back at you with flustered cheeks, his eyes flickering back and forth between your face and… 
you follow his gaze and look down, only to see that your leg’s wrapped casually around his hips, anchoring him to the bed. with a panicked yelp, you immediately retract your leg and leap out of the bed, frantically apologizing to him over and over again.
“i’m so sorry about that, d-did i hurt you?”
your voice sounds scratchy from your parched throat, but how you sound right now is the least of your concerns.
spencer chuckles softly before slowly sitting up. “no, you didn’t do anything.”
you let out a relieved sigh at his response.
spencer grunts as he lifts himself up, tenderly listening to your continued apologies with a warm smile.
“by the way,” he starts, fixing his tie and reaching for his suit jacket, “we're a little late.”
“what?” you gasp, hurriedly tucking your dress shirt into your trousers, “fuck. how late?”
a pause, and then: “five minutes and twenty seconds.”
“oh my god,” you squeal as you fling your and spencer’s bag over your shoulders, “they’re probably all waiting for us.”
quickly turning the doorknob and making way for spencer’s crutches to move past the door, you rush to the elevator and hit the juddering call button.
“next time, you’re-“ you cough out as you try to catch your breath, “-you’re welcome to just push me off the bed. it’s guaranteed to wake me up instantly.”
spencer looks at you questioningly, a small grin spreading across his lips. “next time?”
you clasp a hand over your mouth. “wait no, i meant – hopefully we’ll never have to sleep in a room together ever again, but i’m saying in case-“
spencer tilts his head and lets out an amused laugh. thankfully, the elevator doors open just in time, and you’re spared the trouble of having to explain yourself further.
you bite your lips as the image of his lopsided grin lingers in the back of your mind, and the fresh regret of your words burns your face like a hot fever.
the embarrassment doesn’t end, however, as the doors open once again to reveal your team standing right outside. when the elevator’s chime echoes throughout the lobby, everyone’s heads turn to you and spencer.
you walk out with nervous steps, grimacing when hotch merely nods and announces that the plane is ready for takeoff. spencer makes his way over to derek, who tousles his hair teasingly.
“so, how’d you sleep last night?”
you freeze when rossi’s husky voice drifts into your ears.
you force out a smile. “i definitely could’ve slept better.”
“really?” he hums with a smirk, “i slept like a baby.”
“yeah, you upgraded your room, we get it, you’re rich,” you sigh, eliciting a hearty chuckle from the older agent.
once seated in your usual seat on the jet, you’re accompanied by spencer and morgan, who slump into their seats across from you.
you watch suspiciously as morgan wiggles his eyebrows at you and nudges his elbow into spencer’s sides. “so, late night, huh?”
spencer looks at you briefly, flushed cheeks failing to suppress the smile splaying across his face. 
“shut up.”
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patricia-taxxon · 1 month ago
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I want to set the record straight regarding a certain OST for a short film that should be coming out later this year, because one of its directors is making false and hurtful claims about me and my business ethic. After he made a prominent appearance on a drama stream about me & wrote a section of my callout doc, I told him that I wasn't interested in dragging him publicly, but that has felt more impossible as time goes on and I realize the extent of his misrepresentation. I had a vision of this film being able to release quietly in spite of everything, but I don't think that can happen, and I fully expect him to try and hurt my chances at further work.
In 2023, between techdogs 4 and 5, I worked on music for a then good friend's student film. It is by far the most technically difficult job I've ever had, and I did it for free. Now, before you get mad, this is partially (mostly) my fault. I never negotiated a price beforehand, and when I found out partway through that I was working for free, I let it slide for fear of being disruptive. If I was asked to quote a price today, it would have been approximately 900 USD. The work was a hellish and grueling experience, technical in ways I'd never been prepared for, and I sorely regret not putting my foot down, because I was hollowed out by the end of it.
A big portion of his callout against me is concerned with, bafflingly, my decision not to contribute my own money to the film, which at that point would have been a negative paycheck. I didn't pay the thirty dollars that I would've had to pitch in for the film to be screened, and I considered that a fine payment for the nine hundred dollars of work they got from me. He goes on to write that I'm rich anyways, I pay hundreds of dollars on album art (business expenses that I know I'll make back when the music is released) and "furry porn," because apparently if I am occasionally willing to drop a pretty penny on a pleasure purchase then I should simply be compelled to pay them randomly for things I hold no stake in and that I signed no contract for. He also mentions that I paid them later for the DCP file at another screening, of course by that point I had gotten the vibe that they were wanting for me to drop money on their project, so I did, giving the post-hoc justification that "i guess in this case I also care about the film sounding good." He writes "well I guess that was something she deemed worthy" without realizing the implication would then be that he did not see my own work as worthy.
Let me make this clear, this is like if a voice actor worked on my video game for free as a favor with no expectations of royalties, and then I asked them to help me pay to get the game on steam. This is presented along reheated second, third, fourthhand accounts of sexual misconduct.
And before we move on, to the claim that one album artist had to wait for years before receiving payment, this is true. I did forget to pay one artist, and only found out after their assistant contacted me years later, where I then paid six times the asking price as a late fee. I was commissioning over ten album arts every year, and as of now, this is the only time I have made this mistake.
It is impossible for me to refute his claims about the personal time we spent together in Omaha, as it would just be my word against his. I will just say that he should know the omitted reasons that I have grown to feel I was disposed, discarded, and taken for granted by him, and how he has nothing to do with why I hold those memories at that film festival so highly. He also does the classic thing where he positions allowing me to pick the movie in the evening as this favor he did, making me unknowingly rack up debt for a bargain I never consented to.
During all this, he has expressed an existential fear of being harassed for going public about me, and for this reason I want to say that I still hope that this film can be released without a fuss, but his continued participation in a harassment campaign against me has done far more to tarnish his reputation than I ever could. If you really cared about your image, pressure Crim to re-record that drama stream without your embarrassing petty grievances in it & delete your testimony from the callout doc. Thanks.
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