#fucking hell ash get it together!!! you dont even know his name!!

[silverselfshippingchaos]

irl crush posted a me? gongaga meme as soon as i changed my status on another app to online... he said he's never played a f.inal f.antasy... but when i talked to him, i told him to play c.risis c.ore..

[blodgmonster]

Part 4 (and hopefully the last part) of my Kingdom of Ash reread. Life has been a bit rough and it's taken me far longer than usual to finish this book. Deep breaths. Here we go.

-- you know...Manon losing the Thirteen is kind of a nerf-ing in its own. Aside from Abraxos they are what she loves the most in this world. And in order to save the day, to save the world, they sacrifice themselves, yielding their power. Leaving her alone. So that's Amren, Nesta, and now Manon in a different way.

-- I forgot this whole thing happens at Endovier of all places.

-- I remember thinking that SJM was just being weirdly lazy not giving the King a name. Ding dong I was wrong.

-- Aelin, you ding a ling! What if you and Dorian AND the King had done this together? Maybe you could have kept some of your goddamn fire power!

-- "your parents are...They are so very proud of you. They asked me to tell you that they love you so very much." Ouch

-- "Where light and life had flowed within her, there was nothing. Not an ember. Only a droplet, just one, of water." And here we witness the most egregious SJM nerf-ing. Why? WHY!? Dorian gets to keep his power, most of it anyway. Why couldn't she keep SOME of her power? Take her from a powerhouse firebender to a fae of normal/middling power. Which I suppose is what happens but...it's not fair. Or...here's a crazy idea, just LET HER KEEP HER FUCKING POWER. And then she loses all her power and then she trades Erawan for Elena's soul. And then they DONT save Elena. So she makes this big sacrifice for NOTHING. And now she has to go into battle without her fucking fire!

-- Mala is the only cool one of the bunch.

-- Aelin ripping open a portal to hell in the gods world lololololol I love her.

-- Hey, Crescent City!!!!

-- Hey, Rhys!!!!!!!!

-- AELIN RIDING THE LORD OF THE NORTH!!!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

-- Gavriel

-- Elide's plan, Aelin's courage, Lysandra's strength, and Yrene's skills are what save the day. And they are alive because of the sacrifices made by Josafin Towers and Lady Marion Lochan. Who save the world? Women!

-- "You have no power over me." Sick Labyrinth reference, SJM.

-- the Wolf Tribe, hell yeah!!!!

-- KILL HER, FENRYS MOONBEAM, YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND

-- "I will bind my life to yours. So we will never know a day apart. Never be alone, never again." A THIRD SJM couple with the "die together" trope. However much I loathe it, it kind of works here because it evens out an imbalance. Lorcan would have to live to watch her age and suffer and die and then live without her. That would be agony for him. And now they'll get to live like a normal couple, aging together. Somehow this one works better than Chaol and Yrene's and WAY better than Feyre and Rhys'.

-- Manon Cursebreaker

-- Fenrys' face is scarred now. Probably just makes him sexier. I'm not big into blonde dudes but he can get it.

-- "In silence, the two queens stared toward the decimated field. Toward the future beyond it. "

Edit: TITS this posted on accident. I guess there will be a small part 5

[pigeonrocks]

okay i need to like. rant about the post campaign in hong kong.

so. its a fun little dlc, the runs are definitely interesting. but that's the only positive thing i have to say about it. i like the writing during the runs and in the beginning. although the ending when

(spoilers for the bonus campaign under the cut. ofc)

the ending when you face off krait is not exactly played well imo. the entire dlcs plot twists aren't done the same way like in the prior games. returns had a better twist imo, although its a tad confusing- but the betrayal twist doesn't hit the same like how the plot twists hit in the main campaign or in any of the other two games in the returns trilogy. like the vauclair twist had me fucked up. but the betrayal by lam or whatever his name was is very flat as a twist. its not like. done extremely well to really not be predicted. you dont see it yeah but if you do a few runs and then go to find krait and then that betrayal happens. its not like. you already dont trust them?? bc they basically gassed you and dug around in your brain. so why do that reveal so quickly?? i feel like closer to the end would've been better bc it builds more of a relationship with him and qui. but it happening early on in the dlc is such an eye roller.

my vice is also the difficulty of the fight before you go and meet the boss. im playing on easy mode and it took me days. i stopped playing for like weeks because i gave up and went to start playing dragonfall. its so weirdly difficult and the final fight with krait isn't anything in comparison. the writing when you confront her aswell just rubs me the wrong way. the entire ending feels so out of character for the characters you bring (i brought racter, duncan & gaichu w me)

like with gaichu for example. both are from the dlc, the lily lai run & meeting krait, but one of them imo feels so much more like gaichu than the latter. and its the run screenshot in this example. it rubs me the wrong way because. i know damn well its gaichu. but it doesn't feel like something gaichu would say. this is a pretty fine example with duncan imo where it kinda? just feels like all the development from the main campaign is tossed aside and it barely makes any sense to me still.

because. again- all of this is my opinion. take this with a grain of salt.

but burning the warehouse is the best option. i dont think mitsuhama should have the weapons that were inside the facility(or anybody. thats wayy too much power. its better off as ash.) so ofc i burned it down but kept qui alive. because. qui will restore duncan's SIN. its so bizarre that this entire dlc has him so focused on carter. i get him being upset but i feel like. theres bigger fish to fry. like. carter doesn't mean anything. hell i forgot about carter. its so weird for Duncan to really only have carter as his motive? i get that they were extremely close but the corrupt police chief who labeled us as terrorists is killing innocent people for no reason. get it the fuck together man come on. what normal life does he want? we dealt with a fucking demon goddess and are marked as fucking terrorists dude. how do you even live a normal life after that?? its been like a week after the main campaign. its so frustrating to me.

like. i completely can understand why hes upset but qui is still fucking alive. she has the power to restore his SIN. i try and pick the options that will land me in the position of a good ending. or the one thats the best in terms of my own morals. killing the feuerschwinge, killing Jessica, burning the facility. makes sense. the feuerschwinge was a great dragon but any other option wasnt a good pick imo. shes suffering so letting the virus do its work, handing her off to apex or just leaving her there is cruel, but releasing her is also strange- considering what she did when she was alive which was reprehensible. i killed dragon. letting jessica live is probably a good option. but shes still behind the end of the world, kidnapping her own niece and Killing her brother. revenge is revenge 🤷 sam wanted me to avenge him and by god did i

but theres no good option in the srhk dlc. yknow? duncan still leaves no matter what you pick. whether thats on good terms or on bad terms depends on what you do. killing qui, burning the facility- or letting her live and handing it over to mitsuhama. or going with duncan to restore your SIN.

maybe its just a me thing. the dlc rubbed me the wrong way with how the characters were written. it just felt?? out of character and weird for the characters to say. i wasn't even sad that duncan left i just got pissed off. at that and the actual ending. where you go back to FUCKING SEATTLE. this shit sucks.

i played the dlc after i beat dragonfall. and in comparison to the main story of hong kong. its very disappointing and underwhelming to me. nor was it fun. ending was pretty lame to me. it didn't do it for me. which is honestly kinda sad. bc i had good expectations after the main campaign and its just. kinda bad. anyways! thanks for reading my long ass rant. not the usual ramble post but i needed to put my thoughts on the srhk dlc somewhere.

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTW: Jared/Bryce, Chaz/Ash, Raf/Grace; out of the loop

For the prompt:  I love the group chat. What are Raf Grace Chaz Ashley Bryce and Jared (or some combination thereof) talking about now?

Takes place between the latest part of Jared and the upcoming one!

Just for the record since you’re going to see us Friday and you’re only 97% oblivious. Ashley types. Carlo knocked me up. Jared blinks, wondering who the fuck Carlo is. He didn’t think they were in an open relationship, and even if they were — pls stop saying I knocked you up it sounds bad Chaz replies just as Jared remembers that Carlo is Chaz’s, like, actual name. A perfectly nice name, so why the fuck would he willingly go by Chaz? !!!!!!!!!!! Bryce interjects over ‘Ashley is typing’. I am experiencing THE MIRACLE OF LIFE. Ashley amends. Because Carlo knocked me up. Surprise! omg!!!!!!!!! do u no if its a boy or girl yet!!!!!!, Bryce sends, then, rapidfire, asks if they’ve thought about names, when the due date is, if Ash is showing yet — Jared suspects she is, and that is exactly why they’re being informed in advance of seeing her — and if they have a baby registry, presumably so he can buy them every single thing on it. wait nvm im callin u ash pick up ur phone!!!!!, Jared reads, and snorts. Jared knows better than to ask anything himself, since his questions are, in order, ‘is this baby on purpose?’ and ‘do you know how absurd Bryce is going to be about this why are you making my life more complicated?’ and ‘how’s this going to impact summer training?’ and ‘seriously why do you go by Chaz when you don’t have to?’. He’s not a good enough person not to think them, but he is a smart enough person not to let them enter the world. But fuck, Bryce. He’s probably bouncing on the balls of his feet impatiently waiting for Ashley to answer her phone so he can blurt out all those questions again, beaming the whole time. He’s going to go research the best cribs, and strollers, and whatever the hell, and then buy them. He’s probably as giddy as a kid on Christmas right now: a baby and an opportunity to buy shit? Bryce is right in his element. Raf and Grace have been quiet. Jared narrows his eyes. Raf’s understandable, because he’s not a big phone guy, and who knows if he’s at team shit, but Grace is practically surgically attached to her phone. If this was news to her, she would have responded by now. Which means it isn’t. And if it isn’t news to her it probably isn’t news to Raf. You told Raf and Grace already? he writes. I was in NY two weeks ago., Raf writes, entirely unapologetic. Two weeks that he knew and Grace knew and obviously Ashley and Chaz knew, and yet nobody told Bryce and Jared, lowly Western Conference-ers. jared dont be a jared, Chaz says. Jared doesn’t know what that’s supposed to mean. Okay, he knows exactly what that’s supposed to mean but he’s going to be a Jared anyway. This is going to hurt Bryce’s feelings, and when Bryce’s feelings get hurt Jared wants to rip the world apart. Plus if Bryce reverts to sulkily calling Raf by his full name again because they told him first Jared swears to god — This is blatant East Coast bias., Jared writes. I didn’t know that when you got traded you DEFECTED. annnnd jared’s being a jared, Chaz writes, and Jared scoffs and puts his phone away. Raf and Chaz can have their secrets together, Jared doesn’t care. * Jared can’t believe they told Raf weeks before they told them. “Babe,” Bryce says. “It’s rude!” Jared says. “You’re not supposed to like, rank your friends.” And if you do rank your friends, Jared and Bryce should be ranked first. That’s just common sense. “Raf was in town for a game,” Bryce says. “And apparently noticed when Ash didn’t have wine with dinner, and apparently he has like, one of those faces you have to spill to.” “Why do you even know that,” Jared says. Raf absolutely does have one of those faces, though. You just blurt out secrets to that face. It’s completely involuntary and incredibly humiliating. “Ash said,” Bryce says. “Don’t take it personally, it was like, early, you never want to tell anyone about a pregnancy too early. Miscarriages happen most often in the first trimester.” Bryce sounds suspiciously like Ashley making excuses. “I’m not taking it personally,” Jared says. Bryce glances up at him. “I’m not,” Jared says. “I thought you'd take it personally.” “I didn’t,” Bryce says. “I don’t.” “Good,” Jared says. “That’s all that matters.” “Mm,” Bryce says, then gives him an expectant look, and Jared resumes playing with his hair. “Did Ash say whether the baby was on purpose, or—“ Jared says. “Oh my god, Jared,” Bryce says with a laugh. “What?” Jared says. “It’s a valid question! They’re like, young. Younger than you. That’s like. Young.” “Don’t worry, neither of us can get pregnant by accident,” Bryce says. “Or like, at all.” Jared snorts. “Why’re you freaking out?” Bryce says. “I’m not,” Jared says. Bryce blinks up at him. “I’m not,” Jared repeats. “That’s just like. Grown up shit. I dunno. Like, everyone’s settling down. Moving away. Marriage. Kids.” “We’re kind of already married, J,” Bryce says. “I know,” Jared says. “I just — ugh. I can’t believe they told Raf weeks before they told us. Stop laughing at me.” “I’m not,” Bryce says, and he isn’t, but he is grinning up at him, a grin that says he’s finding Jared patently ridiculous right now. Which is fair, because Jared is, in fact, being patently ridiculous right now, but still. It’s offensive. Bryce is supposed to be on his side. “Always,” Bryce says, and turns his head to kiss Jared’s hand. “But I’m being ridiculous,” Jared says. “Little bit,” Bryce murmurs. “Play with my hair some more.” “Fine,” Jared says, and smiles when Bryce makes a contented noise as Jared sinks his fingers back into his hair, silk soft and product free for once. Or like, probably not, he’s probably got like, some weird thing Jared’s never even heard of for like, silk-ifying, or soft-ifying, or body-ifying, or some bullshit, but he’s let it do its thing post-shower. Bryce’s hair like this is Jared’s favourite, down to the little cowlick in the back, and he doesn’t know if that’s because he legitimately likes it, or if it’s just because he knows Bryce wouldn’t even answer the door with his hair like this, let alone leave the house. He’s very vain. Like, for good reason, but still. “What’re you doing?” Bryce asks, his eyes shut. “Nothing,” Jared says, and continues to try to mold Bryce’s hair into a little mohawk. “Quit it,” Bryce says, turning his face into Jared’s belly, and Jared resumes petting until Bryce un-sulks, then goes back to making his little mohawk.

[meloswifeyyy]

Relationship Alphabet

A - Attitude

Who often has the worst Attitude ?

Well, you obviously. Most of the time because you are hungry or you and Melo just got out of an argument. Melo usually fucks the attitude out of you anywhere, anytime tho.

B - Baby

Who wants Babies the most - first ?

Melo. He often jokes about having kids or when you are having sex he would whisper in your ear  “You trynna have my babies?” or  “You boutta have my babies ” when he nuts in you. He says that he wants 3 or more. You only want 2. You arent rushing into it.

C - Crying 

Who Cries the most in the relationship ?

You. You often cry alone when you miss Melo when he is at away games for so long. Or when your BP triggers, Melo would comfort you. When watching sad movies, or when someone you love dies. Tears of joys appear here and there. Or when you get into arguments and Melo says something wrong or disrespectful out of madness.

D - Dates 

Who has the best Date spots ?

Melo. He would often take you to fancy restaurants in L.A or Miami, or wherever you guys went. Or take you shopping at an expensive place. He would do dates at home like watching movies, have you cook dinner because he cant cook for shit, or he would have a bath waiting on you. 

E - Eat 

Who Eats the most ?   

You. You know damn well you cant survive without food. Its the 2nd best thing that has ever happened to you besides life and Melo. Cant even survive a night. If you would wake up in the middle of the night and get hungry and go to kitchen and try to sneak some food without waking Melo up, he would hear it and go to the kitchen and scare you, picking you up over his shoulder with one arm, and with the other putting the food away carrying you back to the bed because its a little to early in the morning to be eating. 

F - Freak 

Who is the Freakiest ?  

Both of you. You being the only girl that can fuck Melo like you do, and being the only girl Melo is sexually, physically, and mentally attracted to no other girl can do it like you.10/10 in bed. Now Melo on the other hand is a demon in bed. His strokes, hitting your G - Spot constantly with you feeling it in your guts. His 9 inch is almost  always on hard when he is around you. And his tongue is crazy, going in and out and on the pearl AT THE SAME TIME. Crazy right. Spelling his name out on you. He loves when you scratch his back up or give him hickeys everywhere. 10000/10. Makeup sex is the best. 

G - Games 

Who wins the most games ?  

Melo. He would always dare you to a game of Call of Duty or Fortnite to see who would win first. And he would always win. When you would play a game of Uno you would often win and he would be mad the rest of the day due to his competitiveness. But any other game he would win.

H - Happy

Who is the Happiest in the relationship ?  

Both of you. You are always happy when you guys are around each other. Even when you guys just got done arguing you are still happy that he is in your presence. Melo on the other hand is always happy with you around him, he loves to cuddle with you. Its one of his favorite thing to do. He just loves that you are in his presence. You are his other half.

I - Irreplaceable

Who is the most Irreplaceable ?  

You would say Melo but Melo would say you. Melo knows how to deal with you more than anyone else does. He knows all your spots and what you like and dont like. He notices all of your flaws and sees the good and beautiful in them. He knows your body, mind, and soul. No man has a better or brighter or bigger smile than him. He always brightens the mood. You on the other hand are different. A big beautiful smile. You know how to deal with Melo when he is sad, looses a game. You can tell when he is lying or telling the truth just by looking through his eyes. You know how to make him happy. You are the best he has ever had.

J - Jaded 

Who gets the most Jaded after doing something ?

Melo. He usually gets really bored after sitting in the house all day. He really wants to leave the house and do something fun but usually its night time and you would be taking a nap or would be sleep. 

K - Kisses

Who gives the most kisses?

Melo. He is always so clingy and that comes with all the kisses in the world. He kisses you all over your face in your sleep, even when you are sleep he gives you kisses. He loves to kiss all over your body.

L - Love

Who fell in love the fastest?

Melo. He had always had a crush on you and everyone knew you were the one for him. You just didn’t know it until you two started dating. He’s always making sure you are good. He loves your hugs. He was the first one to say “I love you”. He want kids you to have all 10 of his kids.

M - Motivation

Who gives the most motivation?

You. When melo is going to a game and is not having a good feeling about it you motivate him to push through it and win for you. 9/10 he will win or get a lot of points for you.

N - Night Owl

Who is more of a Night Owl?

Both of you. Sometimes when his ADHD is on 10 you guys stay up and listen to music, play games, go on ig live, or just fuck for 7 hours straight. Sometimes you have to tell him to got to sleep or put him to sleep (😏) because he has a game tomorrow and needs all the rest and energy he can get. It also the same for you.

O - Oral Sex

Who gives Oral Sex the most?

Melo. Trust me, you give him head a lot and it’s amazing, 10/10. But melo loves giving you head. He loves to spell his name out on you. Loves to see the faces to make you scream and shout. Loves sharing your cream with you (🥲). He loves to climb under the blanket while you are sleep for some breakfast in bed. Maybe even dinner. His lips make it even better. So glad he don’t got them white genes in his lips (😋😭).

P - Perfect

Whos perfect?

Obviously, no ones perfect but God (🙏🏾). But in your eyes no one else is better for you except melo. You couldnt imagine living life without him. Cant imagine what anyones elses kids would look like with you but. No relationship is perfect. Melo sees you as perfect. Your body. Your style. Your personality. He absolutely loves your touch. He loves touch but for you loving your touch is an understatement. He couldnt imagine his kids with anyone else but you. Cant imagine getting married with anyone else. When you guys get into arguments and sleep in seperate rooms. You barely get sleep because all you can think about is each other. How perfect you guys are for one another.

Q - Q? (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it.)

R - Relate

What traits do you guys have a like each other?

A lot. Both of your favorite food is Chicken tacos. You both love a good game of Uno. You both love sex. Duhh. Both of you guy’s love language is touch. Love playing fortnite together. Love listening to music and taking drives together. Both love lil uzi (we pretending yall💀). Just in general you guys are very alike.

S - Sex

(No question for this one lol. Y’all already know how we is round hea nahhmeannn😭)

The sex. Omgggg. The first time you and melo had sex was. So amazing. Can’t ever forget that moment. Melo is always so horny. Morning sex is the best. Sometimes a little top at the red light can turn into a few rounds in back of the McDonalds parking lot. Lucky enough all his windows tinted as hell. Or in the Victoria’s Secret fitting rooms. You guys could be listening to Chris Brown and he would really take you down, fuck you back to sleep, switch up the tempo, or make you wet the bed (i’m laughing hard ash). The hickeys. The high sex. Drunk sex (drunnnnkkk in lovvveee). Car sex. Balcony sex. All over the house sex ( i got bars.) Mad sex and Make up sex. I could go on. Sex with me so amazinggggg. (i was listening to this song while writing this one💀😫😫😫)

T - Trips

Who likes taking trips internationally?

Melo. He love to take you and a yearly or even monthly vacay. Just you and him. Turks and Caicos. Bora Bora. Jamaica. Iceland. Japan. Africa. Anywhere where you can get away from the world. The different places. The hotels. Being able to fuck anywhere and everywhere. The pools. The different air. (united states ait is so boring). The new food. The animals. You guys love the new places. He loves to see you happy and with a smile on your face.

U - U (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it.)

V - V (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it again.)

W - Right the Wrongs

Who rights their wrongs after an argument?

Usually it would be you first. If you said something that was out of pocket or melo didnt like you woukd quickly apologize. He would forgive you and still cuddle and kiss you and stuff because thats what he does. Tease you. But he would ignore you until he actually forgave you in his head. Melo would apologize and give you some bomb ass d for and apology. Or make that cute face that you can’t resist.

X - (Can’t find a word for X. Give me a suggestion and i will edit it)

Y - Young

Who acts like a Young ass child?

Both of you actually. That’s what makes you love each other the most. The laughs and jokes, the tv shows, everything you could think of. It’s nothing wrong with it at all. Y’all are always gonna bust a joke out at the right time. Maybe sometimes even the wrong time. (damn, double homicide). You guys love laughing with each other.

Z - ZZZ

Who has the worst sleeping habits?

Probably Melo. If you scooted over him even a little bit, he would probably scoot back closer to you or pull you back over to him. And the only con of that is he snores a lot. (Why this nigga snore with his mouth open?🤨💀). Sometimes if he was awake and you werent he would kiss all over you. He loves to lay on your 🍒.

Y’all welcome. I haven’t pose the one of these in a minute. This took me a whole month and a half. I’m tired as hell. 💀

[heartbreakgrill]

That Smile; Luke Hemmings

description: in which you’re a songwriter, working on Youngblood with 5sos, when a certain blonde catches your eyes.

a/n: there will be a part 2 for this!

“AHHHH!” You threw your green mechanical pencil across the room. It bounced off of the wall, snapping in half, and landing in separate places. One ended up by the door by your shoes, the other on the couch, beside your purse, jacket, and water bottle.

A voice crackled through the speaker system, obvious laughter being bitten back. “Y/N, are you okay?”

You squeezed your eyes shut, hands in fists on either of your temples. You were on the floor, on your back, skinny jean clad legs sprawled out in front of you. Your t-shirt was ridden up on your stomach, revealing a thin strip of your skin to the room, which you were now realizing was freezing. Through welling goosebumps, you grumbled, “I’m never okay, Brad. You know this.”

“I had to check. We have legal obligations in the workplace,” he responded, this time chuckling throughout his spiel.

“Damn, OSHA,” you mumbled into your bottom lip.

Brad hesitated before his voice echoed back in, “They’re here, by the way. Making their way back now.”

“I’m not getting up yet. I’m still moping over my inability to properly write a single-“ your voice rose into a yell now, “fucking line about a stupid fucking boy!”

It was now that you realized the door to the studio was open with the head of receptionist Cindy in the room. “Is this a bad time?”

“I get paid to do this, I have no say,” you dropped your hands to your sides. “Let ‘em in.”

The four lanky boys shuffled in, two dressed like it was New York Fashion Week, the other two lazed about in sweatpants and hoodies. They stood awkwardly against the wall, unsure of how to go about greeting someone having a mental breakdown on the ground below them.

“Hello, I’m sorry, I’m trying to recover,” you began to sit up, back cracking in the process. You straightened your shirt out, catching eyes with the tall blonde. You swear, in the most cringey way, your breath caught in your lungs.

“You’re okay, we go through similar processes,” a curly headed, dirty blond remarked, giggling lightly.

“Yeah, I have plenty of photos of Calum laying on the floor like you were,” long fringe, bright eyes. Michael, perhaps?

You had familiarized yourself with photos of them on the internet, but were not at all confident you knew who they were. In fact, you couldn’t recall anyone’s name when the tall blonde who stole your breath offered his hand. You took it, your hand completely encased in his warm one. Without much efforts, he pulled you off the ground, nearly flush against his chest. But, you made sure to step back when you stood.

“Thanks,” you sighed, shuffling to the couch in your sock-clad feet. “Uh, I’m Y/N,” you introduced while clearing the seating area for them, “I’m sorry, I dont really know your names. Could you-?”

“Luke,” he stuck out the same hand for you to shake; you did.

Michael was who you suspected, Calum the jet black haired man Michael had mentioned, and Ashton the giggly one. You situated yourselves on the couches once you demanded they make themselves at home.

“So, this is your third album?” Of course you knew their music. If you were pairing with an artist on a new project, you had to familiarize yourself with their sound. You couldn’t write a Taylor Swift-like song for Lil Uzi Vert.

“Yeah,” Ashton answered, seemingly the spokesperson for the band. He was sat on the couch across from you, with Calum, Michael in the computer chair by the recording equipment. Luke was beside and, damn, did he smell good.

“What’s the motive?” They looked confused at the question, sharing a furrowed look. With a quick tuck of your legs underneath you on the couch, you launched into explanation, eyes moving from boy to boy. “So, you’re first album was very teen punk, kinda edgy, but safe with cute love songs and innocent forever young vibes. Sounds Good, Feels Good was super grunge with ballads about your actual feelings, a few love songs, and a handful of those same forever young vibes. It was, like, healing for you, almost. Like an album meant to truly introduce your fans to who you are. What do you want to say with this one?”

Luke cleared his throat beside you, “I dont know that we really have a vision with this one. We never really do.”

“Gosh,” you laughed, “no wonder they hired you guys a new songwriter. You have to have a plan! Otherwise it takes way too long and you have no idea what you’re doing. You’ve managed to do awesome without me, but this album, I promise, is going to be amazing.”

They, collectively, grinned at you. “I dont know about you, boys, but Ive got fucking chills!” Ashton exclaimed, shoving Calums shoulder, glancing at Michael.

You grinned back, proud with yourself and your words. You looked over at Luke who had a twinkle in his eyes, a smaller smile that seemed reserved for admiration to you.

-

You’d see that smile many times again throughout the process of writing their new album, later titled Youngblood after the first song you wrote together.

Ashton thought you were a bloody genius, as he would say, again and again.

“Its just a simple lyrical progression, Ash,” you coined his nickname a week into the process, “not that big of a deal.”

He still grinned, continuing to flip at your ‘talent’ with the randomest things.

When Youngblood, the song, was completely recorded and produced, you had a listening party in the small recording studio. You’d baked cupcakes and cookies for everyone, Calum had popped some champagne, and Michael brought his girlfriend along for the celebration.

You got along with Crystal well, chattering about makeup, music, and many other things before Brad came into the room with a frog shaped file USB. You stood from the couch beside Crystal and moved to stand beside Luke, who just so happened to be standing in the spot you wanted to. He smiled down at you, bouncing on his heels in excitement.

As Brad set up the file, Luke said, “The cupcakes are really good. As are the cookies, and the song. Everything, really.”

He was nervous around you. He was never nervous around girls. But something about your overwhelming talent, immense beauty, and super sweet personality made him jittery. He held tightly to his paper cup, nearly breaking in from his squeezing knuckles.

“Thank you, Luke,” you set a hand on his shoulder, prepared to say something else when the song began.

You’d heard it prior to this to ensure that it wouldn’t be utter crap. It was amusing and prideful for you to watch everyone’s jaws drops, to see Calum drop onto the couch with his head in his hands. Ashton danced around, Crystal leaned against Michael, praising his guitar and vocal bits. As the beat picked up and, soon, as it ended, Luke turned to you, lifted you in his arms, and spun you around. You were laughing, head thrown back, hands clutching at his hoodie-clad shoulders. When he set you down, you were still laughing, as was he. His laugh faded into that smile, that stupid smile.

-

The next time you saw it was halfway through the album. You had been losing sleep, between handling 5sos as a client and, now, Taylor Swift, who noticed your work through a friend. She wanted a new song, something uplifting and sweet. You agreed to help, not realizing that, now, you were overloaded. And, you weren’t able to devote your time to just 5sos.

One day, at the end of a long studio day, Luke noticed you on the floor of the recoding studio. Youd set yourself there when the boys starting gathering up their things, bidding your farewells with weary hands. Your eyes were no shut, hands resting on your stomach. Luke watched the boys leave and, having driven himself there, sat down beside you. He nudged your leg, gaining your attention through weary eyes.

“Hi,” he smiled, not quite in that way, but still sweetly. “Are you okay?”

“Stressed. Tired. Sick of writing. I haven’t been out with friends in so long and i want to, but all of my friends have normal lives with normal jobs. So they wont go with me during the week, and I cant on the weekends, because Ive been busy with Taylor Swift. God, never thought I’d say that sentence. Anyways, I just really want to get drunk and dance and then cry to someone about being sad, single, and so, so tired.”

“Well,” Luke resisted the urge to pick you up, place you in his lap, cradle you and coo you to sleep, “I’m sure I can urge Ash to have a party in his house. There’s plenty of people who dont care about their jobs or dont even have ‘em.”

You lifted yourself up on to your knees, “I would literally write you, like, an entire song if you got him to do that. I need a night away.”

“No need, I’m fine with one dance reserved for me,” there was the smile. “Oh, and a shot. We have to do a shot together.”

“I would do a million shots with you.”

He walked you to the parking lot, to your car, leaning against the door frame while you turned it on and buckled your seat belt. “Okay, so, Ill send you his address, and see you in a few hours?”

“See you.”

Now, what the hell were you going to wear?

[wank127]

songs that make me think of denki!!

(btw my top artist for spotify this year was ben platt and for apple replay(yes i use both shh) it was cavetown which is so funny to me, like, was i okay??)

also, warning: it’s kind of a lot and it’s not even half of them lmao

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

✨honorable mentions✨:

man or muppet- the muppets (i like to think that denki and mina sang it together at a talent show)

the boys are back in town- yung gravy(i’m not typing all the other names out) (just,, denki, kiri, sero and bakugou,,,)

the ballad of sara berry- 35MM (denki as sara, bakugou the main one singing, midoriya as julie jenkins, shinsou(or y’know, whoever) as his boyfriend, that kinda stuff)

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

screw loose- cry baby (ik ik it’s iffy but it’s honestly such a good song)

share your address- ben platt (just,, him being in love and jammin out in his room is all)

invitation- ashnikko ft. kodie shane

bust your windows- jazmine sullivan

daddy issues- the neighborhood

my hair- ariana grande (i just feel like he has such soft hair y’know?)

babooshka- kate bush

last resort- papa roach (no thoughts just him fucking shreddin it on the guitar)

halloweenie(1,2&3)- ashnikko

obvious- ariana grande

vienna- specifically ben platt’s cover

copy cat- melanie martinez ft. tierra whack

higher school sweethearts- melanie martinez

34+35- ariana grande

run- will jay

love language- ariana grande

exit music (for a film)- radiohead

chiquita- ABBA

dumb blonde- avril lavigne ft. nicki minaj (cmon, it’s a given)

positions- ariana grande (the whole album just gives me denki vibes)

hell of a ride- bo burnham

juice- lizzo

daddy af- slayyyter

rock me- one direction (fucking headbanger ngl)

back to black- amy winehouse

achilles come down- gang of youths

sway with me- saweetie & GALXARA

tantrum- ashnikko

my future- billie eilish

love me like there’s no tomorrow- freddie mercury

money, money, money- ABBA

wreak havoc- skylar grey

moonlight- ariana grande

the good side- troye sivan

teenage dirtbag- wheatus

tungs- the frights

best friend- rex orange county

donttrustme- 3OH!3

lullaby- scotty sire ft. liANA

no time to die- billie eilish

cry baby- melanie martinez

coffee breath- sofia mills

lucky- jason mraz & colbie caillat

pov- ariana grande

rehab- amy winehouse

guiltless- dodie

always- P!ATD

i need control- will jay

beachboy- mccafferty

circus- britney spears

sugar-baby goth ft. wiz khalifa

angel eyes- ABBA

everybody talks- neon trees

my heart belongs to daddy- ariana grande cover

love of my life- queen

comfort crowd- conan gray

wasting time- calpurnia

won’t bite- doja cat ft. smino

when he sees me- waitress

chanel- frank ocean

dear maria, count me in- all time low

dance, dance- fall out boy

i’m breaking down- falsettos

puttin’ on the ritz- taco

this is america- childish gambino (idk why either lmao)

leave me lonely- ariana grande ft. macy gray

class fight- melanie martinez

boys like you- dodie

strawberry blonde- mistki

WHEN I WAS OLDER- billie eilish

do it all the time- I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

make the grade- jack conte

the boys are back- high school musical

new friends- maty noyes

16/04/16 (jacks song)- cavetown

gingerbread man- melanie martinez

strawberry fields forever- the beatles

i’m the middle- dodie

figured out- ashe

american idiot- green day

smithereens- twenty one pilots

noise in my head- cavetown

strawberry shortcake- melanie martinez

self control- frank ocean/cavetown cover

listen before i go- billie eilish

sick of losing soulmates- dodie

hi, it’s me- ashnikko

burned out- dodie

don’t stop me now-queen

show & tell- melanie martinez

you can put your dukes down, stringbean- teddy hyde

i love you- billie eilish

myself- bazzi

drunk with my friends- ashnikko

drama club- melanie martinez

dear- cavetown

big girl(you are beautiful)- MIKA

little boy- ashnikko

numbers- melanie martinez

apocalypse please- muse

juicy- doja cat

want to want me- jason derulo

driver’s license- olivia rodrigo(ik it’s everywhere but omg heartbroken denki-)

bottom- mccafferty

toxic- ashnikko

thank you for the music- ABBA

never shut up again- heathers(west end)

kevin- andrew rannels/joe iconis

a million men- melanie martinez(unreleased)

get well soon- ariana grande

good while it lasted- ashnikko

slipping through my fingers- ABBA

deal with it- ashnikko (feat. kelis)

training wheels- melanie martinez

fight like a girl- ashnikko

good old-fashioned lover boy- queen

IV. sweatpants- childish gambino

jason’s song- ariana grande

watcha say- jason derulo

i hate everything about you- three days grace

rant- bo burnham

cuz i love you- lizzo

honestly anything by bo burnham

L8r boi- ashnikko

piggyback- melanie martinez(unreleased)

carolina- harry styles

sugar baby- meghan thee stallion

off the goop- yung gravy, bbno$ & cuco

killer queen- queen

slumber party- ashnikko ft. princess nokia

hotel california- eagles

umbrella- rihanna ft. jay z

stand tall- childish gambino

throat baby(go baby)- BRS kash, DaBaby & city girls

like a girl- lizzo (fem denki holds so much power)

can’t remember to forget you- shakira ft. rihanna

boom boom pow- black eyed peas

grace kelly- MIKA

popular song- ariana grande & MIKA

[katsukikitten]

Stood Up

A/N Yall thank my friend for sending me rando tumblr screencaps from well aged posts. I just was like oo good fic idea and now here it is. I finally took time to write it. ENJOY!

Unblinking eyes gaze at you in curiosity mixed heavily with pity as you gulp down your fifth complimentary water.

Fellow diners stare, watching the scene unfold with heavy hearts although it is making good dinner conversation. Your dress now constricting when it was once body con. Hugging your curved

You'd been here long enough to watch couples come and go. Families to sit and laugh all the way through coffee and dessert.

Their gazes feel heavy.

"Are you ready to order yet?" The waitress asks kindly, trying hard to keep the pity off of her face, but you know that she knows "Or perhaps more bread?"

You stare down at the third *empty* basket, you bite the inside of your lip to keep your cool. White hot rage flows through your vein competing against burning embarrassment and the tears collecting in your eyes.

The slim waitress begins to collect the empty baskets, giving you a once over. You feel the pity radiating off of her in waves.

"Just a few more minutes please." You smile politely.

"There is heavy traffic tonight." She smiles back trying to encourage you but all it does is remind you that everyone knows what's happening in this restaurant and it is just *you* who is delusional.

And you're beginning to wonder how long you can tell yourself that traffic really is to blame.

It had been well over an hour from the time agreed upon by both yourself and your supposed date. Your phone is still dry, glass staring up with no notification in sight.

Hell not even a spam email.

Biting rouged lips you dig through your purse for any sort of cash to tip the waitress who so kindly took care of you while you sat their waiting patiently like an idiot.

Stood up.

It wasnt like this was the first time. You'd been stood up before and after giving them fifteen extra minutes of time you'd text them "Dont fucking bother my guy." Before ordering yourself a delicious meal and dessert.

Happy over the result, loving the longer life.

But shit you actually LIKED this guy. It was supposed to be your third date with him. He kissed you and left you at your door step damnit!

Or maybe that should have been hint enough.

A sharp inhale to collect yourself before you pat the 10 on the table. Making sure to keep your head held high when suddenly a strong hand clamps on your shoulder. Keeping you seated.

"Hey baby." He says a little loudly, you look into glittering rubies with a begrudged almost angry look. He flashes a wide tooth smile before kissing you on your cheek. Adding, again slightly above a normal voice.

"There was a crazy accident! I left the uber and had to walk here. And you know me I can't keep my phone charged to save my life."

The chair across from you slides across dark hardwood floors before it is settled into. A wink of shining rubies as you stare with now heated eyes.

"Play along? The names Kirishima Eijiro." He winks again.

Who the fuck was this guy?

Dressed in black with a blazing red tie, black vest and matching black shirt sleeves rolled to his forearms.

Why the fuck did he sit down across from you?

And why the fuck wasn't he scared of the death glare you were giving him?

Before you can ask the waitress comes over, giving Kirishima a slight glare.

A glance of "You better be paying" and "You better buy the gorgeous lady dessert!"

It does not go unnoticed by the red head, who happily takes the blame for the delay.

Better than the latter, which was you, this stunningly beautiful woman was being stood up.

It was unmanly. Not to mention it was hurting his heart.

"Bring a bottle of..." He glances to you, giving you a once over before a smile creep along his soft lips, "Actually make it a whiskey neat and a nice rum and coke?"

"Coming right up. Do you need a few moments?" She glances over the two of you, the waitress must know how famished you were. Well he sat across from you, enduring your harshest of glares, so a little pressure wouldn't hurt.

"Eijiro, order for me please *baby*?" You purr, folding up your menu, he takes your request with stride.

Shooting in the dark and hoping for the best.

"She'll have the parm crusted chicken, side caesar salad with the dressing on the side and fries." He winks your way, a smirk slides onto your lips, "I'll have the sirloin, rare to medium rare please and a loaded baked potato."

"Coming right up." She smiles, collecting the menus before happily waltzing to the order board.

You lean forward, a signature cat smile plastered on your lips.

"Not bad. Not bad." You take a sip of your refilled water, "It was Eijiro right?"

He laughs, its warm and kind, causing your stomach to flutter.

"Yes, I didn't catch your name?" He leans closer as you lean back, guarded.

"First, you have to answer why you decided to sit down across from me."

His everlasting smile falters for just a moment. He swallows, debating on answering truthfully or with a lie.

He thinks better of it.

"I didn't like the idea of such stunning fiercoity to be stood up. It was unmanly of your date and...." He waits for the waitress to set your drinks down before continuing, "Dickish."

It is your turn to laugh aloud as you watch a small blush creep upon his cheeks, bringing out the brightness of his eyes. You were truly in the presence of a gentleman, what with him waiting before cursing and speaking so lowly.

While you would have been brash, loud, and uncaring.

He relishes the sound of your sultry laugh, making him wonder what other parts of you were this...this intensely breathtaking.

He quiets some of his dirtier thoughts as he swallows down his desire with the whiskey.

"So you just happened to see me?" You nurse your own drink.

"Yes and no, I hear a couple talking about it on their way out. I was supposed to be with my friends tonight." His eyes roam the room, he smiles and you follow his gaze, "Well more of a work meeting."

A small group with a rowdy ash blonde, a quiet jade haired man, a petite chestnut brown haired woman and a man with a mop of mostly white hair.

For once in your life you feel a little guilty, his group of friends/co workers look fun.

You shouldn't be stealing him away just because he was saving you a bit of embarrassment.

"Oh, go back to them. I've eaten alone plenty of times." You smile his way, "I can cancel our orders."

"Oh no, like I said I'm not about to allow such a stunning fiercoity such as yourself to sit alone." He leans closer, his voice hushed and laced with concern, "Plus you looked....lonely. You must have liked him?"

Seeing him so worried about a strangers emotional state has your stomach in knots, your drink goes down easy before you shrug your shoulders.

"Key word, *liked*" You smile devilishly at him, a set of sharp teeth greet you in return.

"So what do you do for a living that you can have a meeting at a five star restaurant?" Curiosity finally getting the better of you as you pay what was supposed to be his table a final glance.

He let's out a low sigh, it sounds tired to you.

"Hero work." His smile is a fraction of its normal luster.

Or what you considered normal in the past twenty minutes or so.

"Ah, hard work I'm sure. Cheers." You clink his glass, "To you and your crew for keeping us all safe."

He gives you a pondering look before his smile returns to normal.

"Cheers." A quick swallow before your food is set before you.

Both of you sitting in comfortable silence. You watch as he cuts into his steak, the muscles in his arms contracting with each movement. Struggling to stay in his shirt at times, although the shirt did not seem too tight.

You smile as a devilish idea takes over, you stab one of his extra bites, the steak melts in your mouth. Biting back a moan as you savor the flavor.

You cut him a piece of your chicken, he goes to take your fork from your delicate, yet deadly, hand before you pull back.

He looks at you with furrowed brows before he catches on as you gently tilt the fork towards him. He takes a bite, holding eye contact before sliding off the piece of meat.

The chicken dances along his tongue melding with the crusted buttery bread crumbs and cheese.

Your heart slams into your chest, demanding to be heard.

Hell seen with how hard its ramming into your ribcage, wanting to burst free for the first time in a long time.

Another smile spreads across your slightly flushed cheeks.

All the while Kirishima cannot help but imagine what a devine creature such as yourself would taste like.

Sweet.

At least that's what he thought.

"What do you do for a living?" Knife slicing through tender beef. A pause on your end as you debate should you lie or tell the truth.

Well, the date wasn't going awfully, it wouldn't be a bad idea for one of your dates to know the truth.

"I'm a writer."

"What no way?! Like for the paper or published?" You swallow your worry.

"Published."

"Is that why you have yet to give me your name?" He peers up at you attempting to read your body language.

Only when you laughed was your guard down.

It had been partially if not mostly up for majority if this going on hour.

You paused, is that why you always used a pseudonym for fear that someone would put two and two together?

That they may have read your work?

And what if they hated it?

So fucking what if they did, you remind yourself with a sip of your liquor.

"Guess." Another famous cat smile. Kirishima ponders, fork and knife forgotten as he thinks.

"Oh! You do the crime books with that bad ass mob boss woman!" He snaps his fingers to attempt to remember, "'A Lone Red Rose,' ugh it's been on my reading list forever!"

"You're lying." You giggle but when his face becomes crestfallen you almost retreat your half tease half accusation.

A lot of firsts were happening for you tonight.

"Y/LN, you're a best freaking seller! I've been dying to know but never have time. I'm on the first chapter. I'm where the main crooks right hand man's wife gets SNATCHED in the middle of the night! I'm on the edge of my seat but I lost my book and hadn't had time to get a new one." He kinda sulks at the end.

"What happened to it?" Curiosity dances along your tone.

"Oh well Bakugou, the blonde at the table, " A point of your fork and a spy of your eye, "He had to blow up our steak out car to divert the perpetrator from hurting a civilian. He gave me the money for it three fold but I have yet to make it to the store."

"Ah." Is all you offer as you gaze over at his much different life.

Your newly banded tattoo seems to itch extra tonight, you choose to ignore it as another question comes out.

"But I've read so many reviews! Everyone speculates if you've done hero work before, or even shadowing. Some think you're writing your life. I'm guessing shadowing. Am I right?" He looks at you with expectant eyes and you smile warmly to him.

He was kind, unsuspected and reminded you so much of sunshine.

"Who's to say it's not my life?" You giggle and he laughs as well.

"Well the main love interest, again from what I heard, sounds explosive, temper wise. So unless Bakugou is a Mob Boss' son then I'm finding that highly doubtful." His laughter is contagious and you join in once more.

Let this be as it is and as he thinks.

"Ah yes, that would be a funny thought.: You glance at the table again before returning to that glittering gaze, "But you're right. I shadowed heroes in abroad. America actually before my Father sent me here."

"Oh what for?"

"To expand his business. I only just decided to go along with it." You bat long lashes his way.

He orders dessert, the two of you get along quite nicely before he insists he walks you to either the train station or a cab.

"I'll be fine. I'm not helpless or quirkless." It almost comes out a snarl, he places your coat onto your shoulders anyway.

"I would never think that of you. Any woman is capable of defending herself. But I was raised to aid anyway. Please do not take offense my love." He blushes at the end, realizing too late how real that sounded. You curl into the crook of his arm as he places his hand on your hip.

"Thank you my love." You smile up at him only to be pulled closer. He walks you to the curb in front of the restaurant to the idling dark car.

Your idling dark car, with a scarred looking driver. He blinks as the scene gives him a ghost of a feeling. He shakes it off. He goes to open your door for you, stopping just above the handle.

"Oh one more thing." A heavy blush rushes into his cheeks. Suddenly he is nervous, "May I have your time again? For a real date?"

You look deep into his eyes for deception and when you find none your smile.

Another genuine, heart melting smile before you lean up to him. Pressing your lips to his softly, swiping your tongue over his lips for a moment, hinging at what the two of you could be.

It all just depends on your mood and how much you cared to reveal.

He was a hero after all.

But he was so damn handsome.

"Eijiro, that's the realest date I've been on in a long time. Your phone?" You hold out your hand and his face fall.

"I didn't lie about it being dead." He scratches the back of your head and you pull out yours. He gives you his number that you text a winky face too before he opens your door.

Totally lapping up the presence of a true fucking gentleman. Hopefully that only went so far into the bedroom.

You looked at him through the tinted glass before rummaging around in the back seat. Your hands finding purchase on the cracking spine.

Ink slides across paper in a smooth concession before you roll the window down, peeking over it.

"For you." You smirk, "Let me know what you think when you've finished."

"I..I will!" He says as your roll your window up, the driver pulling away giving you a look.

"Madame, you realize that was Red Riot right?" He asks, concern melting into rage that he would dare touch you

"Yes, I know." Cat smile painting your lips.

"Oi! You stood us up to not even fuck?!" Bakugou have snarls, half teases when he finds him out on the curb.

"I got her number."

"Tch, come on let's go. Glad you finally got a copy of that damn book you won't shut the hell up about. You reread it so much that it was falling apart. I did you a favor that day."

"Haha yea Thanks Katsuki." Another suck at the blondes teeth.

Kirishima knew it was you the second he heard you laugh, he had read your book countless times.

He had an idea of who you were.

But he had no idea that his glittering Ruby eyes were staring down at a fortune. The very first and test print of your book, now adorned with your signature and lipstick mark on the front page.

To my hero for the night. 💋

[koryuoftheriverflow]

I’m gonna compile a list of all the things in the episode that follow the narrative thread of the season (or seasons 7-15) or make no sense whatsoever that, imho, allow us to imagine (to know) that *this* was not supposed to happen. Yes, I’m wearing my clown wig and make up. If I have to believe that this finale was written by someone like say, Sera Gamble (Sam is the best, Dean is destined to live in his shadow and Cas is not in the picture), following Kripke’s initial plan, and imposed by the network onto Dabb and the other writers (whose *real* finale was 15.18 - and 15.19 which, bucklemmings’ usual problems aside, was really not that bad), just so that I can sleep tonight... Then so be it! - Montage from 15.19 with no actual meaningful moments from the past 15 seasons but a shitton of dream/fake episodes ??? - Single pillow - Mourning beer on the nightstand - Single lamp - Pizza box on the unoccupied side of the bed - Miracle - Sam’s jog in a place that reminds me a lot of his commercial in Changing Channels ??? - Dabb’s pies - That was Robert Singer on the background, laughing at Sam throwing a pie in Dean’s face, right? - The painting with the beach - Tongues ripped out so victims can’t speak - Hearts - That damn barn - Cas/Dean/Alastair vs Dean/Sam/chick - I had a hard time remembering that girl because why the hell is she even here? Why is Dead men’s blood so important right now? Pls explain ??? - The fact that it took me a while to understand that it was Dean the one impaled and not the vampire, because when they closed up on the metal thingy earlier I totally thought it was going to end up as it usually does in these cases ??? - You’re stronger than me ??? - It was supposed to end like this for me ??? (Hello free will?????) - It’s always being you and me (Hello family dont end in blood and it doesnt start there either???) - Hearts again - Agent Bon Jovi (No rest for the wicked) ??? - At least I made it to Heaven (this sounded so much like Dean just gave up because there was no one left and at least in, what he believed to be the old version of, Heaven he could relive good memories) - Ash’s monkey - It’s the Heaven you deserve (deserve - deserve - deserve) - El Sol - Cas helped (Dean’s smile, bless you Jensen) - KAZ2y5  - You got everything you could ever want, or need, or dream (the one thing I want - I need you - he sounds... dreamy) - The Roadhouse - The road (hello 8.07) - Sam’s son named Dean like this is the Epilogue only worse - And no Eileen - The bridge and Hey, Sammy and Stanford clothes (ok, we get it) - The farewell at the end - Jensen’s fucking face I cant ashjhshdjkahdk he’s dead inside - Cast and crew all together with no masks despite covid so where the hell are Cas and Eileen ??? - And cut!  Like, at least the fact that they broke the 4th wall lets me believe that this was the ending of the in-story show Supernatural and not the ending of *the story* and its characters.  Because this is a bros only ending and it was *not* what they’ve been building towards for months and years. And I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Jensen had to call lots of people and Eric bloody Kripke to have the ending explained to him, because from where I was watching the story unfold, it was the perfect arc for Dean (and Jensen knows Dean better than anyone). And that’s why I’m convinced this one is a pre-established ending. And Bobo and Dabb and all the rest in the writers room wrote 15.18 to be our ending, because they couldn’t write this one.  And yes, of course, no more sacrifice between the brothers is very good. But Dean dead? Sam with the white picket fence life?  This ending is so... ancient. It belongs to an era of Spn that is long gone. I honestly believe that the actors (maybe not Jared ‘cause he’s still under contract with the CW) and the writers will speak up about this. Some more than others, maybe. But I want the truth to come out. I want to know if they had to compromise to give us, albeit one-sided, canon Destiel. If they took us as far as they could, because they weren’t allowed to bring us to the right end.  And they tried to warn us: Misha and Cas’s sacrifice, Bobo and the unexpected, Dabb and his 30% and GoT finale. I thought he was trolling, but no... he was just warning us that, yeah, we were not gonna like it. How could we? But I want him to speak up, because he’s the one who’s gonna take the blame for this. I watched him write for this show for 12 years and I know he can do way better than this.  Jack as the soul bomb in 11.23, stopped, like Amara stopped, because of love.  The Empty being loud. The need to speak one’s truth. Free Will winning over the Author. Chuck’s ending with bros only and no Castiel being shit. We are real (from both Destiel and Saileen). The family they have built along the way. None of this was in the episode, but they have been writing with those themes in mind for years. So, no. I don’t understand. Call me delusional. Chuck knows I’ve been called that before, but on *that one thing* we were right. We were so fucking right. I genuinely think the writers are going to speak up, because their careers are at stake. Because *this* isn’t the way to end a story. And Misha, and Jensen. Jensen, I beg you to say something. Because this I understand now, why they were talking about 15.18 as if that episode was the finale. And why they didn’t say goodbye to Castiel, because no... his story isn’t over. So many other - well, I don’t want to say plot points, but certainly emotional points - were left unadressed, abandoned.  We still need answers.  If I can’t get them in text, I demand to have them from, yeah, word of God.  The thing that I’m mourning now is the possibily (and Spn has a history of missed chances, but we love it in spite of that) of going down in history as the tv show that did something game changing.  Still, I’m grateful for all the people, near and far, that have come into my life because of it. Family indeed don’t end with blood. @mittensmorgul @postmodernmulticoloredcloak @bluestar86 @drsilverfish @bakasara @rambleoncas @k-vichan @shirtlesssammy @lets-steal-an-archive I hope you don’t mind my tagging you lovely people (and there are many more), but I’ve followed you for so long, and I’ve read all your metas for years. They’ve kept me company for a decade. It’s been a wild ride and I just want to say, while asking for your opinion on the show one last time, THANK YOU. Supernatural was good, but it was especially lovely thanks to you all <3

[naancydrew]

ranking the nancy drew games based on dead mom content™

you read that right. also spoiler warning obviously

33. ransom of the seven ships  -1/10   no dead mom content. negative bc of the fact that there’s blackface

32-24. stay tuned for danger, message in a haunted mansion, the final scene, secret of the scarlet hand, ghost dogs of moon lake, danger on deception island, the secret of shadow ranch, danger by design, the shattered medallion  0/10  no dead mom content™

23. the captive curse  0/10   no mom mentioned for lukas, is she dead or just somewhere else? we just don’t know.

22-21. secrets can kill, the deadly device  0.5/10  someone is dead but it is not a mom

20. the phantom of venice  .75/10  only a dead husband here...no moms

19. treasure in the royal tower  1/10 no dead mom but there’s dead estranged dad content. was marie antoinette a mom? idk

18. the white wolf of icicle creek  1/10  kinda estranged mom content but shes still alive. yanni’s grandma was killed by wolves if that counts and if he was telling the truth about that.

17. alibi in ashes  2/10  i cant remember if kate is ever mentioned, but just the fact that they’re in river heights and carson is gone and can’t help and she doesn’t have kate to help her out and has to go to her friends....idk hits if u think about it

16. last train to blue moon canyon  3/10  camille hurley was not able to have kids so technically isn’t a dead mom but she had her dolls....still sad as hell

15. curse of blackmoor manor  4/10  we learn about the penvellyn family so of course a family full of dead ancestors is full of dead mothers. one of those dead mothers is the iconic elinor who died from being burned at the stake. also the underlying plot is happening because of, not a dead mom, but a divorce and then new stepmom. lotta mom content in general.

14. the haunting of castle malloy  5/10  fiona’s parents were both killed in an explosion and really messed that girl up.

13. labyrinth of lies 5/10  grigor is an orphan, therefore there is some dead mom content, but its very minimal.

12. midnight in salem   5/10  not a technical dead mom, but dead mother figure with frances tuttle and lauren holt (i think that was their relationship....i played it once and theres not much on the wiki for MID yet) so technically the whole plot is in thanks to it, but i dont remember how much grief there was

11. trail of the twister  6/10  some dead wife content that nancy is an absolute dick about. you read the paper about ma. stop fucking pestering pa.

10. legend of the crystal skull  6/10  we get mr sad boy orphan henry bolet crying at his parents’ crypt. also his mom has the same photo as dr predovicu

9. the creature of kapu cave  7/10  for once we get a hardy asking someone about their dead mom instead of nancy! even tho, no one involved seems too sad about it and is very briefly mentioned. in fact, pua seems kinda happy that it’s just her and her dad so she can just surf all day.

8. ghost of thornton hall  7.5/10  again, dead mom content just because we learn about ancestors. a lotta dead sister/cousin content though. also it really hits you when you’re looking at the dates on the family tree and realize that harper and charlotte’s parents died like 4 years before charlotte died, and then harper and clara were alone except for each other. also the fact that clara’s mother died while she was young and before she ever told her who her father was just to have her new guardians die......rough.

7. secret of the old clock  8/10  woooo!!! another plot caused by a dead mom!!! not at traumatic as haunted carousel, but the culprit posing as your recently deceased mother’s friend is ROUGH. also nancy is actually nice when talking about gloria.

6. warnings at waverly academy  8/10  the twins’ mom dying and dad not knowing how to raise 2 girls causing them to pretend to be one person to get a scholarship and not be put up for adoption is so messy but a very good plot twist

5. tomb of the lost queen  8/10  jamila having a similar experience to nancy, where she thought her mom died in a  car crash, but turns out she was part of something bigger that she follows in her footsteps, KNOWING that it might end in her death too. AND those notes from that first exploration and all of the daughters of nerfertari leaving to find their ultimate dead mom (nefertari) and dying/disappearing in the process....idk it gets me!!

4. sea of darkness  9/10  here we have some primo dead wife action, along WITH the child. extremely sad and gets me absolutely every time i play through it.....the fact that he holds onto it being his fault.... oh my god im getting sad again!!!

3. the haunted carousel  10/10  dead mom content to the MAX. dead dad giving clues to daughter to find the last remaining photo of her dead mother since she burned every image of her after she died and then blacked out the memory. thats some trauma right there. interestingly.... im not sure if we learn her mom’s name even though her plot revolves around remembering her.

2. shadow at the water's edge  11/10  oh yeah theres a dead mom and shes HAUNTING YOU!!! kasumi’s story is so sad and nancy has absolutely no right to be poking into these people’s lives and absolutely deserves every time she gets second chanced because asked the wrong thing about their dead mom. also SO absolutely fucked up that anyone’s boyfriend would go “hmm, i want my sister to quit her job and move to the city with me,... oh yes! i’ll haunt her business with her dead mother. perfect!”

1. the silent spy  10000000/10   the FUCKING ULTIMATE DEAD MOM CONTENT™. nancy suddenly learning that her mother wasn’t just a civilian who died in a car crash and that the people who killed her were now after her??? so juicy. we get carson trying to protect nancy from kate’s fate, we get all those flashbacks, those recordings from revenant, nancy piecing together her mother’s double life that she never knew about... GOD!!!! and yes, i absolutely cry when i read kate’s note to nancy. that shit hits man. also kate writing a song for her and carson and then rewriting it to have a part for nancy in it once nancy was born really gets me too. p.s. moira was in love with kate you can’t convince me otherwise.

well. thanks for taking this journey with me. 

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Doyenne ~ Part 6

Warnings: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Summary: Tommy needs help from one of Birmingham’s most powerful underground gangs, the Hemlock Angels. Little does he know, he’s not the king of Birmingham after all.

Warnings: SMUT (kinda Dom!Tommy but not really?, unprotected sex), mentions of death and violence

Word Count: 3081

_____________________________

“We are at war," You announced to the room full of Angels, all of whom had gathered at a moment's notice. An uneasy murmur rippled over the crowd of men and women alike, all eyes on you for further explanation. This was when you hated being a leader of a group like this. It reminded you that you were part of a criminal organization, no matter how much you denied that reality to yourself. But when people are kidnapped and murdered and you can’t do anything legally about it, it reminds you that this is something that needs to be taken care of yourself. But you had to be strong, be the leader. 

"Yesterday morning, Darby Sabini, the night club owner, and his men were responsible for the kidnapping of myself, Jameson Smith, and Brandon Kipper directly following their release from prison. While I was able to get out, Jameson and Brandon were brutally murdered, tied and shot in the back of the head.”

You inhaled a shaky, betraying breath, fingers gripping the bar behind you tightly as the vivid memories of their bodies clouded your thoughts, “You all know that I value transparency with all of you. So to tell you honestly, we unknowingly came into possession of some information pertaining to Sabini’s business. We had no idea that he had anything to do with anything but nonetheless they saw a threat and they acted on it. As a result, Jameson and Brandon are dead. I know this is a hard hit for us. They were well loved but unfortunately this is a horrible reality of this job. Nonetheless, what happened to them was unacceptable and will not be tolerated. We will be retaliating against Sabini. I’ll be assigning a task force to burn his most successful club, located in London, to the ground. It will be a loss of hundreds of thousands of pounds. He has no idea that we exist as a group and hopefully, it will stay that way. This will be a lowkey, covert operation and those who take part will be compensated handsomely for it. We won’t kill him but we will destroy him.” 

Finally, you found the strength to begin looking people in the eye, now that everyone had accepted the loss and was intent on hearing your plan. That is, until you locked eyes with a familiar pair of icy blue orbs that were not supposed to be there. Thomas Shelby stood in the back, leaning against the carved rock wall patiently while you spoke.  The only indication to him that you even knew of his presence was the slightest hitch in your breath at the contact to which he returned with a barely detectable nod of acknowledgement. What the hell is he doing here? "l will be selecting those I’d like to participate and informing you individually. Thank you all for coming." 

After a nod of permission from you, the crowd dispersed and you retreated to your office in the back and pulled out a drawer from your desk, flipping through the files. Each person who worked for you had a file. Name, address, description, family memories, criminal records, and any other note you had written down (and most of them had many). You prided yourself on how well you knew everyone, whether or not they were aware of it. 

But you were looking for two things in particular. First off, Jameson and Brandon’s files. You needed their addresses to inform their widows themselves of the tragedy that had unfolded. Just the thought of it made your heart wrench and when you finally found their files, you couldn’t bring yourself to open them yet. Instead, you dove into your next search- 

“That was a riveting speech.” Thomas stood in the opened door to your office. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked, looking up from the papers sprawled across your desk. 

He slowly strutted into the room, closing the door behind him, “I came to check on you. Make sure you were alright.” It took all your power to keep a steady face. Now that you’d had a day away from him to clear your thoughts, you were no longer clouded by lust or whatever it was that was affecting your judgement the other night with him. 

“Well thank you very much, Mr. Shelby, but I’m quite alright. And while we’re at it, I’d like to thank you for coming to the rescue the other night but I’m quite capable of taking care of myself.” You tried to sound professional but there was a little more venom behind your words than you’d intended. 

He lifted his hands ever so slightly in defense, “I never said you weren’t. But I was also able to walk right past all your men on the way in here.” 

You slammed your hand on the table and stood up, “Who the hell do you think you are? A week ago you were threatening me, couldn’t stand me. A few days ago, you’re breaking me out of Sabini’s and insisting that I stay the night with you. And now, you’ve crashed a meeting to come and make sure I’m okay. Do you know who I am? Do you know what I do? I am no incompetent little girl, Thomas. I’m a fucking boss, the head of a God damn underground empire. I may not flex my power to the world like you men who feel the need to overcompensate for what you lack in your pants with public brute force but believe me when I say that I have every power to destroy Sabini or anyone else that gets in my way if I so choose.” 

The threat was clear in your words that ‘anyone else’ meant Thomas and he picked up on that very clearly but he had never been one to let anyone talk to him like that and he was not about to start with you. "Look," he pointed a finger at you, his voice low and angry, "I came to help you as a fucking favor but dont worry, it won't happen again, your highness." 

Your blood boiled although you knew logically you'd snapped first but who was he to act like this?! "Did you actually need something,  Mr. Shelby, or did you just come to prove some point?" You sat back down and picked up a random file, not actually reading it but just trying to look like you were too busy for this stupid interraction with him. Images of all the ways you could make him disappear ran through your mind. Showing him your little business could have been a mistake, especially if he'd abuse it by sneaking into your private meetings,  but it was one that would be easily remedied by an untimely, unplanned (for all legal purposes) tragedy. 

Tommy took several steps towards you, until his finger tips grazed the top on your desk and thighs were flush against the wood. He looked down on you, a slight sneer that felt like he was looking down on you, something that he hadn't done since your first meeting. "You're not nearly as in control as you think you are," he told you, "Maybe in control of the situation, yes, but not of yourself. This tough, calm, cool, in control front you put up is nothing more than a facade and I call your bluff." 

 You watched with your voice stuck in your throat as he came around your desk and leaned down to grip the arm rests of your chair, pinning you in and leaning down almost to the point where your noses touched, "The only question is," Tommy continued, his eyebrow flickering upwards, "why are you falling apart?" 

From this close, his scent- whiskey, cigarette smoke, and some unnamable (most likely expensive) cologne - was engulfing you, overwhelming your senses and making you unable to formulate a coherent sentence so you chose to not speak for a moment in favor of returning his cocky scrutinizing gaze with ocular daggers. 

And then a sudden primal version of you seemed to escape the chained prison within your heart, the prison in which you stored away your vulnerability, and you leaned forward, nearly closing the gap between the two of you. "Are we gonna fuck or are you gonna just keep playing games?" 

The words would have shocked you if you weren't in such a state of emotional overload after the events of the last few days but you were and the filthy words left your lips without an ounce of hesitation. 

Internally, Tommy was taken aback by your sudden exclamation but he was also smirking inside like a cocky teenager. He honestly wasn't sure what he was hoping for coming in here and the uncertainty of his own emotions made him angry and uncomfortable but all he knew is that some invisible force- call it whatever you will, the universe, fate, God- pulled him to see you at that exact time and place. The meeting and speech had come as a surprise to him but he found it surprisingly easy to slip in relatively unnoticed, blending in with the background. That had further complicated his lack of plan, lack of goal. But now you were here, pinned under his arms with an angry glare and almost threatening him to fuck you. Tommy would be lying if he said he hadn't secretly hoped some version of this scenario would come to fruition. 

Without another word, barely with a beat after your words, Tommy reached down with his large hands and cupped your face, pulling your face to his and smashing your lips together. The force of this kiss was powerful and ignited your entire body. You pushed yourself up off the chair, gripping his biceps as leverage to stand from the awkward angle but your fingers soon ran across the close shaved hair of his head, disappointed that there wasn't much to pull on but reveling in the softness of his short hair that contrasted the rest of his often surly personality. 

One hand found a home on the back of his neck, pulling him closer into your lips, while the other gripped his black jacket tightly. His lips were slightly chapped but still soft enough to not be unpleasant and he tasted much like he smelled, the ghosts of whiskey and ash dancing on his breath.

Tommy's hands gripped your hips tightly and shuffled your body back blindly until your ass hit the table. You grappled behind you blindly, shoving papers and pencils aside to make room for your body. His palm slipped down to cup your ass and he squeezed tightly, helping you as you slid yourself to sit on the dark cherry wood desk. You finally broke away from the kiss, an absolute feral wreck. It had been so long since you'd kissed anyone, let alone had sex with anyone. Two long years to be exact of loneliness and unfulfillment. It wasn't that you needed a man but boy were they fun to have at times. 

You gripped the lapel of his deep black jacket and shrugged it off his shoulders, allowing it to fall onto the wine colored rug. He only bore his white button up, tie, and suspenders and holy fuck did he wear it well. 

Tommy made quick work of the top four buttons of your dress and shoved the fabric of your bra aside so he could assault your breasts. He was far from gentle as he raked his teeth over your sensitive skin before sinking them in. You gasped at the mixture of pain and pleasure, pulling his longer hair when he did. He kneaded the neglected breast firmly as he rolled the delicate bud of the other between his teeth, teasing it with his tongue between nibbles. 

You pulled his mouth back up to yours by his hair and as your lips crashed together once again, you grabbed his ass and pulled him closer to your core. Tommy's breath hitched and he moaned out quietly when he bulging erection came into contact with your barely clothed core. 

The plan was to tease him, make him think he was in control at first but show him who the real boss was. Your hands traveled around the front and you nimbly undid his belt buckle, wiggling his pants and underwear down just enough to reveal his large erection. 

God, it had been so long since you'd been in this position you were almost scared you didn't know what you were doing but muscle memory took over and you carefully took his cock his your hand and pumped him a few times before bringing your palm up to lick a long, wet stripe along your skin, and returning to stroke him. Tommy's fingertips dug sharply into your hips and he leaned his forehead against yours, looking down at your hand pumping his base and teasing the tip with your thumb. 

He was fairly large, not the largest you'd been with but he certainly looked like he could get the job done. A single finger trailed along the underside of his cock, following the large vein there. Tommy shuddered under your touch and looked up to lock eyes with you when you began to circle only the tip with your thumb. 

"Fuck…." A broken moan tumbled from his lips before he gripped your wrist tightly and stopped you, his eyes dark and serious. Tommy tapped your thigh harshly and pointed at the desk, "Turn over." 

Typically you didn't take commands from anyone but Tommy made you want to listen just this once, hearing a hidden promise in that thigh slap. You obeyed, turning over to lie on your stomach on the desk, your ass out and open for Tommy to see. He hiked your dress over your hips and trailed his fingers along your thighs and up to your panties, teasing your overly sensitive skin. His fingers made their way just under the waistband of your cream colored underwear but just as you thought he was going to rip them down and take you there, he snapped the straps of your garter belts against your thighs on both legs. 

“Ow! Fuck you…” You yelped, reaching back to caress the skin. Thomas watched almost as if in a trance as your hand slid over the curvature of your butt and down your thighs, smoothing over the rosy mark he’d left. 

“I plan on it.” He assured, reaching out to tear your underwear down your legs, the fabric pooling with the garters around your ankles. The cool air hit your core as a welcomed breeze, cooling down your overheating body. 

Behind you, Tommy gripped his length and pumped himself a few times before running his tips along your folds, slowly pressing into you. “Damn, no foreplay?” You rolled your eyes sarcastically. Just like every other man you’d been with. 

“Sure doesn’t seem like much of a problem.” He pointed out as he slipped easily into you, just a testament to how wet you were. Your snarky quip was replaced by a gasp as you felt your walls stretch around him. Shit, it had been so long (and, yes, in both senses). 

Tommy let out a low groan and clenched his jaw tightly. You were so tight. Tighter than he’d expected. He set a pace quickly, his hips rocking into yours steadily. He wasn’t moving very fast but he managed to rub up on every spot inside of you, making your body feel like fireworks. The motion in the ocean was rocking your boat but, of course, you couldn’t let his ego get too big. “You call that fucking?” You looked over your shoulder at him, gripping the other edge of the table tightly. 

What you could see of his skin was shining with a sheen of sweat and his brows furrowed in simultaneous annoyance and insecurity at your words. He reached down and shoved your top half down onto the table, keeping his palm splayed firmly across your upper back. Once he felt like you wouldn’t move, he gripped your hips tightly and pulled them back against him, using the extra movement to fuck into you harder. 

“Ah- fuck…” You grunted at the sudden harsh impact sending your body into the wood. The legs of the table creaked and scraped against the rug in a hollow thud. “Tommy!” You whined out, eyes shut as he reached around your front and rubbed your clit. You were quickly falling over the edge.

There it is, Tommy smirked to himself, Tommy again. 

Without warning, your body shuddered and your legs shook as your walls spasmed around him. Wave after wave of pleasure watched over you as your orgasm took you. Tommy felt your walls around him and he struggled to keep his composure and after only a few more thrusts, he too busted inside of you. 

The two of you stood there, breathing heavily, for a moment before he pulled out, a mixture of his seed and your juices dripping down your thighs. Shit, you thought, you’d have to wash up now before you saw anybody now. Tommy stuffed his softening length back in his pants and redressed himself as you buttoned up your dress and readjusted your garter belts. 

“So that’s it.” He threw his jacket over his shoulders. 

You looked indignantly at him, “What?” 

“Why you’re falling apart.” Tommy lit a cigarette and took a deep drag before gesturing with the smoking stick, “A man.” 

Your mouth fell open, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“You haven’t fucked in a long time, that much is obvious. But it’s because a man hurt you.” He analyzed. 

You didn’t know how to respond. First, was that an insult? You haven’t fucked in a long time, that much is obvious. Second, how did he know? How was he able to read you like a book? 

Tommy watched as you tried to connect the dots but took the silence as an invitation to head out, “You have sex like you haven’t been touched in years and yet you’re angry and aggressive the whole time. You’re desperate but upset about something that’s happened romantically or sexually.” Your indignant silence only proved his theory and he raised an eyebrow, “You’re not the only one who can read people..” With a final adjustment of his tie, he nodded his farewell, “I’ll be seeing you on Friday with the rest of the money.” 

____________

Taglist: 

@kiaoizz 

@sweatydragoncloudknight

@hinagiku0

@stressedandbandobessed7771

[flamingo-writes]

It's Always Been You - Sylvain x Reader

Summary: After being away for five years in war with your father, the war is over and your father takes you to the Church if Seiros, where you meet the friendly faces you grew up with. Specially your best friend, Sylvain.

A/N: finally, I'm posting something about Fire Emblem Three Houses 🤣🤣 Im sorry I've been inactive, I've been purposefully been inactive, my holidays are over and I wanted to fully enjoy them. But now I am back!! Also, I’m gonna be writing the date in which I post things because I lowkey dont like not remembering when I posted something. 

Posted: 01.14.2020

Words: 2.4K

Warnings: none

Pacing through the wide halls of the monastery, your eyes could hardly focus on something before something else caught your attention. And walking through what felt like endless halls only made you feel more and more nervous. Following your father, a few steps ahead of you as he limped his way forward at a faster pace than yours. 

“It’s weird to be somewhere with this amount of silence…” You said as your father chuckled looking back at you. 

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought about it” He said cheerfully, although you could see his smile didn’t reach his eyes.”I’m sorry for taking you to war for all those years” 

“You already apologised enough times, father. It’s okay, I don’t mind” You lied, remembering all the nightmares that flashed before your eyes when you tried to sleep. The smell of blood still felt fresh on your nose and the screams and whimpers of soldiers dying around you. 

“I know, kid. But it’ll always weigh my soul” He answered waiting for you to catch up with him and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Good thing is, your friends are here! So I was told by Count Galatea!” 

“Ingrid is here?” Your father noticed that spark of hope in your voice. 

“Dimitri, Felix and Sylvain are too” 

Your heart began beating faster and stronger, as suddenly you became even more aware of your surroundings, hoping that you might see them. 

However, that was not the case. You finally entered the cathedral and met the archbishop, Rhea. Feeling slightly intimidated by her status as the supreme leader of the Church of Seiros, your whole demeanour became stiff and awkward. 

After welcoming your father back from the local wars happening in your hometown, your father talked to her, giving her a brief summary of how your last five years at war had been. And midway through the story, a couple of men walked inside the room Rhea and your father were talking in. Rhea greeted them as you continued to stare at everyone, not fully understanding what was going on. 

Not until Rhea introduced you to Byleth, one of the teachers. Byleth was by no means a person with a lot of words. And given your shy state, neither were you. You followed them, by your father’s and Rhea’s suggestion. All the silence you had been missing while being out in the battlefield suddenly became worse than war. Silence, so much silence, you felt like your thoughts could easily echo and expose you. Not until a very familiar voice broke said silence after you walked inside one of the classrooms.

“[Name]?!” That cheerful voice brought back so many of your childhood memories, and before you could even scan the classroom, Ingrid was running towards you, hugging you tighter than ever. “I can’t believe it! It’s you!” She laughed happily. “I was afraid I’d never see you again!” 

You hugged her back at once as tears gathered in your eyes, thinking how neither her voice nor her scent had changed much. As you opened your eyes, you saw a much taller Dimitri walking towards you. 

“Dimitri!” You cried as you broke the hug from Ingrid and hugged the blonde. He hugged you back as once. “I can’t believe how much you’ve grown!” You sobbed, burying your face in his shoulder. “I was taller than you when I left the castle” You giggled.  

“I can’t believe you’re still a crybaby” A low voice said as you looked at your side and saw a much grown Felix approaching you as well. 

“And you’re still an idiot, Felix” You joked as you let go of Dimitri. “I missed you guys so fucking much” tears kept falling from your eyes. “Where’s Syl?” You asked looking around.

“Probably chasing some girls outside. Don’t worry, he’ll be back soon” Ingrid assured. 

As Byleth introduced you to the rest of the class, you remained close to your friends as they did most of the talking. Recalling memories from your childhood, and through their stories, your new classmates got to know you better. Sitting in a circle on the ground in the middle of the class, you were enjoying the conversation, exchanging stories from both your childhood and the time your friends had been in the academy. 

You were sitting facing the door, every now and then looking outside into the garden, noticing many other students walking and chatting. Eventually, you noticed someone walking towards the room. Instinctively, your eyes scanned said figure. And then our heart stopped. 

Looking straight into his eyes, the both of you paralyzed for a brief second. 

“No way!” Sylvain said shocked. The widest smile taking over his face. 

Without thinking it twice, you stood up and ran towards him. All of the Blue Lions looking at you sprint, faster than they could imagine, as you ran towards the red head. Jumping into his arms, you cried his name as he swiftly caught you. Holding you tight, so tight, you could feel every bit of his chest pressed against yours. Laughing, melancholic tears falling down your eyes once more. Sylvains spun on his toes, happy to see his best friend once more. 

“For the Goddess’s love, [Name]” He said putting you back on the floor, still without breaking the hug. “Do not leave me again” He said kissing the top of your head. 

“[Name] and Sylvain…” Ashe asked, slightly confused. The way you had greeted your other friends was nothing compared to how you had greeted Sylvain. 

“Oh, they’ve always been like that. Those two used to be always together. Whenever Slvain wasn’t chasing some girl, he was hanging out with [Name]. They were each other’s second shadow, before [Name] and her father left” 

“The first few months after her departure were very rough on Sylvain…” Dimitri whispered. 

“Yeah, I’d never seen him so depressed. Not even when his brother left” Ingrid added “Sylvain did try to run away and bring her back. His father was pissed at him for risking his life like that” 

“After [Name] left, he became a much worse womanizer than he already was…” Felix added, looking at Sylvain, holding your head in his hands and shaking you lightly, complaining about all those years you left him. 

“You think he’ll slow down a little bit now that she’s with him again?” Annette asked, not really minding about Sylvain's flirty self, but because she felt uncomfortable when he was being flirty at her.

“There’s a possibility” Dimitri whispered. 

“Yeah, he’ll probably go skirt chasing as a hobby when [Name] is busy and doesn’t pay much attention to him” Ingrid said 

“I’ve always said those two would end up together in the future” Felix said in a low voice. 

“No way!” Ingrid laughed. “I mean, I know those two are inseparable, but there is no way in heaven or hell those two would end up together. I mean, they love each other but they also can’t quite stand each other” 

“Silence” Dimitri said. “They’re coming” 

“I’m sorry, that’s what you get for leaving me, darling” Sylvain said. 

“You think I don’t know you?” You scoffed. “Your lame ass will be coming back to me every time a girl rejects you” 

“I’ve changed” He bragged lifting his chin with pride.

“Oh, have you?” You scoffed loudly.

“I’ve mastered the art of charming women. I don’t get rejected as much as I used to” 

“I’m still sure you’ll be spending most of your day nagging me” 

“Of course I will!” Sylvain laughed. “My best friend is back! We have to make up for all that time lost, angel” Approaching the circle, you returned to your spot. Sylvain walked next to you and gestured Dimitri to move a little bit to a side so he could sit next to you. “So, what are we guys talking about?” 

“The ball and the dancing contest” Dedue said, taking back the conversation you had before Sylvain walked in the classroom. 

~

The ball was over all fun. Maybe not the most fun night, but surely more fun than any night you had for the last 5 years. Andnafter a very much needed break, Sylvain asked you if you wanted to wander around the monastery at night. 

The idea of wandering at night added something charming and spooky to the big old building. Silence ruling over the rest of it while the ball was contained in the ball room. 

As much as you wanted to actually wander around, you decided to quietly follow Sylvain who walked with long steps, knowing where he was heading to.

He took you to one of the towers in the monastery. A tall tower you knew very well for what people had been whispering in the halls. 

“Can I tell you something, [Name]?” Sylvain asked. 

“Sure” 

“After you left…You are my best friend, the best of them, okay? You know it” He began awkwardly “And after you left, I felt so lonely. I’d never felt like that before” 

“I know. I did too” You said looking at him tenderly as he looked up at the sky. You noticed the rise and fall of his chest, different to how it normally is. He’s nervous, you thought. You grabbed his hand and squeezed it, just like you’d always do whenever you knew he was feeling uneasy. 

“It was...so different to me. Living in a world without you. It somehow felt like starting over. I guess, after you left, I started dating women like a mad man. I guess, I was looking for someone to fill that hole you left in my chest. But it didn’t matter how many girls I went out with and how many I met, no one even got close to it” 

“Syl…” You whispered. “I’m here now. We’re back together at being partners in crime, hey?” 

“Partners…” Sylvain whispered looking at your hand on his. 

“Syl” You purred. “I know why you brought me here…” At once he looked into your eyes. Slightly terrified. “I’m not dumb, Syl. I’ve heard the stories about this. People come to this spot and make a wish together. They say the Goddess will listen and help said wish come true. It’s romantic, it’s clearly a tradition meant for lovers…” 

“[Name], I-I…” Sylvain stuttered nervously. 

“I’d wish to never feel lonely again,” You said. “The day I left, it was the worst day of my life. I cried every night for several weeks. I wanted to be back home, with my friends. Especially you, Syl. I’d dream of you every single day. At least for a year. You were always on my mind, and I liked to look up at the stars and think you’d be looking at the same stars as I did” 

“You’ll never be lonely again” Sylvain whispered, holding your hand and pulling it towards him, kissing your knuckles. 

“[Name]” The way his voice whispered your name in such a tender way, melted your heart. You looked into his honey eyes, thinking if they had always been so gorgeous. “I’m a bit afraid of saying this, but I have to, otherwise I’ll go crazy if I keep bottling it in” Knowing what he was going to say, you blinked, your eyes inviting him to get closer. “[Name]” Cupping your face into his free hand. “I think I’m in love with you” 

“Coming from such a casanova, that’s a little bit hard to believe, Sylvain” You said witty. 

“After you left, I realized it’s always been you. You’re the reason why I can’t settle down with a girl. Because neither of them are you” He said leaning closer and bumping his forehead against yours. 

“Prove it” You whispered closing your eyes. 

“I’ve known you for as long as I can remember" He began, he leaned back, sighing in disappointment, since you thought he was going to kiss you "Life without you is no life at all, that much I know. You wished to never feel lonely, right? I will not let you feel that way again. Never. My wish is to never stray from you again. It happened once, and I’m sure I don’t want it to happen again” 

“Make sure to not wish for something you’ll regret, Syl” You whispered. 

“How could I regret feeling alive and full? I’d give up the world for you” His eyes met yours in the sweetest of stares.

“How come you never came for me while I was away” looking away, you tried smiling sarcastically.

“I tried" He answered at once "You can ask Ingrid. I tried at least three times. Those three I ended up locked up in my room for days" 

The look you gave Sylvain, incredulous, made him lose his calm posture and instead turn defensive.

"Back then I was weak and I was scared. But now, there’s nothing in this world that could stop me. I’ve grown, and I’ve changed. And if you asked me to, I’d keep changing, and never look at another woman, ever” 

“I wouldn’t do that to you, take it to that extreme…" You giggled, slightly amused "You’re a grown up, Syl. You’re free to do whatever you like" looking away from him, you stared at your feet, thinking of your next words "I’d like to ask you to be gentle with me. Don’t break my heart, please” 

You looked up to your friend.  He sighed deeply, a gentle smile on his lips as he leaned closer, bumping his forehead against yours again.

“I won’t. Your heart’s safe with me. I promise, [Name]” His velvet voice purred your ears as you closed your eyes, hoping that he'd finally lean in into the kiss you'd been craving.

“I love you, Syl” You whispered as he leaned closer.

“I love you too” Sylvain muttered, his breath hitting your lips, and your heart racing in anticipation. 

He closed the distance, a bit afraid and insecure. A million thoughts came to his mind before sealing the kiss. He was going to kiss his best friend, and he had just confessed to his best friend. And yet, the moment his lips.met yours, his mind went blank. His heart and your breathing was everything he could hear. Your scent tangling with his was everything he could smell. Despite the cool wind howling, your warmth was everything he could feel. Melting into your lips, you kissed him back.

[nikkigrand]

There’s no easy way to say this, but I’m abandoning all of my works. Everything.

This post is going to be long, honest, triggering and deeply personal. So for those who don’t want to read through all of my bullshit, the gist is that I’m not emotionally or mentally capable of writing anymore.

TW ARE IN PLACE.

If you’ve followed me for a while, then you know that my boyfriend was killed in Afghanistan last year. Since then, my life has been a breathless decline into self destruction. I didn’t know—I still don’t know—how to recover from happily waiting for his return to painfully knowing he never will. I swear that some days I feel like he’s still out there and some day he’ll come home and this will all be just a bad dream. I want to wake up to a reality where he steps off that plane and into my arms, where I don’t keep a crumpled old t shirt that smells more of me than him under my pillow, where the shock of hearing certain songs doesn’t make me throw up. A reality where I don’t have to sit in front of his ashes every time I visit his mother and look at his singed necklace around her neck.

I wanted nothing more than to wake up. Just wake the fuck up and feel alive again because for so long I had felt this choking pain and grief and misery and then nothing.

Everything became an escape, something to fill that void in me. I tried all the healthy things. I ate, I worked out, I ran. I talked to people about how I felt and reached out, but nothing helped. I volunteered, i planted trees and flowers, I channeled my grief into kindness. I tried to take all this pain and turn it into something beautiful, and still I felt nothing. I was falling falling falling into this black pit and was reaching for anything to keep me from hitting the bottom.

So I started chasing highs. The standard shit at first. I drank so much alcohol that I’d wake up in bushes with my friends, limbs tangled in ways that left me sore and stinging for days because who the hell passes out in a Rose bush?

At first, drinking was fucking hell, because no matter how much I drank I’d always end up with my head cradled in the palms of my hands, fingers digging into my scalp as I screamed and wailed and asked why why why why when he was so close to coming home and why was life so goddamn mean??? I’d be in bar bathrooms, just curled in the corner and sobbing like a dramatic princess until my friends carried me out. This happened about a dozen times before it just stopped, because I figured I wasn’t drinking enough if I could remember everything.

So I drank more and more and more and then I realized that it wasn’t making me feel better, it wasn’t doing anything for me.

So I started smoking. Just weed, you know. Nothing too crazy at the time. But all that did was make me hyper-fixate on all of my failures and short comings. It made me hate myself so viscerally, so deeply that I wondered if this is who I truly am at my core. A mean bitch who drinks, smokes, parties. A maneater who fucks these poor kind hearted men to fill that hole her dead man left inside her and still finds herself cold and numb after because it’s not enough. It’s never enough.

I’m sure you know where this is going. But I hated myself. I’m a beautiful girl, I’m not blind, and yet I found myself to be so fucking ugly. So fucking ugly and grey and all I wanted—all I needed—was something to breathe life into me the way life itself did before.

I just wanted to feel happy and normal. Only for a little while. That need was so encompassing it would grip my insides and I’d cry from how much I wanted it, how much I had convinced myself I needed it. It was all I fucking wanted.

So the bumps came. And then the lines. And then whole baggies to myself. And it felt amazing, it was wonderful. The world was alive, things were different. I had more energy, more life in me than I had in months. Then the other type of lines came and it made me feel like I was floating away. There was no pain, no misery, no death hanging over my shoulder to remind me that the strength of your love can’t make people stay.

But soon, that too wasn’t enough. Like every other thing, I felt there was something better, something that could make me feel more. So here is where I tell you about all the pills I popped, all the different colored presses and how each one pulled me out of that hole I was falling into and deposited me above the ground —much higher than I could have ever dreamed of—and filled my grey world with beautiful gorgeous colors.

Then I can tell you about all the tabs I let dissolve on my tongue, or fully swallowed out of impatience, all of the lines of ketamine I combined with ecstasy and acid in one night. The things I saw, the way I felt—it took me far from this dismal life and was addicting. I was chasing something every weekend until it became every other day, chasing some feeling I still can’t name, and I knew that it was ruining me.

My grief and my drugs were killing me, and I knew it. With every cotton mouth, every clenched jaw, every pounding headache, I fucking knew and didn’t care. I’d look at my friends faces and I knew, I knew they loved me and would be devastated if they knew what I was doing, and I still didn’t care. What was life if it felt this empty?

My grades dropped, i turned down a contracting job I wanted for years, I spent all my money on psychedelics and stimulants, and it had gotten to a point where I’d pop a pill while sitting at home just because I didn’t want to be sober and didn’t want to think about how fucked up my life was becoming.

Then one day I was at a concert, high in the clouds with a joint settled comfortably between my lips and frizzy hair piled messily atop my head, when I saw a girl get carried out the venue by medics. She was probably a few years younger than I am, and i remember looking at her face impassively as they pushed through the crowd with her body thrown over this bear of a man’s shoulder as if in slow motion. She was pale and foaming at the mouth, with her arms dangling limply down his back, and she looked dead—she was dead. I knew in that same way you know that the sky is blue when the sun is up, I just knew.

And in that moment—those few seconds it took me to acknowledge that she had most likely overdosed and died—this intense yearning shot through me, so strong that I felt it in the crooks of my fucking elbows, like I wanted to embrace whatever the fuck it was that I desired to live inside me, and this voice cried out, “I wish that were me.”

And you know what, I didn’t even know I had spoken until the guy next to me shoved me in the shoulder and said, “no you don’t.”

And that terrified me. I remember dropping the joint, fumbling it in my shaking fingers, burning myself on the lit end, before handing it off to that same random guy and running off to get some air.

I’m not stupid and I’m not blind. I know I’m depressed, I know I’ve got issues, but I had never said something so suicidal out loud up until that point. I’ve never vocally wished for death and even as I sat there, as I looked out at the people outside the venue huddled together doing whip it’s and killing brain cells, I still wanted to be that poor dead girl on that man’s shoulders.

That was it for me. I remember calling an Uber home on the spot and taking everything I had and flushing it. Im not going to sit here and lie to you and tell you that it was easy. I had convinced myself that I needed these things to make me happy, and i don’t know if I can ever see life the same way after them. The feelings you get off these things are otherworldly, it’s so damn good, but they come at a price. You dont feel the same way you did before you took them, and you never will. You’ll never be who you were before that high, but you can almost convince yourself that it’s worth it. So it was pretty damn hard to take my neon presses, my rocks. my capsules, my bud and my tabs, and flush them down the toilet.

Almost immediately after I did it, I cried. Mostly because i had flushed hundreds of dollars down the fucking toilet, but also because I had become that girl in those cheesy college movies. You know the one, the one where the party girl gets addicted to drugs and goes on a bender and her whole life is just one big goddamn tragedy that won’t end. I hate those fucking movies and I, for the life of me, could not believe I was that girl.

I had been military, straight laced with a good head on my shoulders and a hard worker. I was smart, respected, the girl everyone wanted to bring home to mom. And now I was a hot mess crying in my bathroom because I had just flushed my addiction down the shitter.

Now I’m just home, trying to gather the pieces of myself in a way that doesn’t cause long term damage when I’ve yet to hit my 27th birthday.

I still go out with my friends. They know nothing about what I’ve done because I’ve always gone out and done things alone. This is the first time I’ve ever spilled my guts.

So where does FanFiction come into play in all this. Well, it’s simple, really, if you’ve gotten to this point and picked out all the mistakes in grammar. My brain is so fucked up that I can barely write a passable 3 page essay. I can’t remember words, much less how to string them together to form something beautiful in the way I used to. Trust me, it kills me and I’ve agonized over it for hours. I once tried to take this amazing idea I had and put it to paper but it would just not flow. Nothing made sense. Where before writing was effortless and focused, now my brain could barely concentrate on forming a sentence that didn’t sound like gibberish.

My attention span is so short that I literally have to isolate myself with no internet and my textbooks to get work done. It’s so bad that I have anxiety and panic attacks about the fact that I feel like a whole dumbass with one brain cell, where before I was proud of my intelligence and could hold decent conversation.

I’m still pretty, as if that fucking matters, but now I’ve got a stutter and can’t hold eye contact because my paranoia makes me think they’re judging me. And let me tell you, I’m so fucking pissed about that because I know it’s just my fried brain thinking these things, and there’s no one to blame but myself.

And I still feel empty and numb. How can I write about love and human emotions when I don’t feel anything? How can I write about looking at someone and loving them when the memory of love faded like my lover’s ashes in the wind? I just can’t.

I know love as it whispers against my skin with each interaction between me, friends, even other men, and yet I look at them and feel absolutely nothing.

So Yeah, I can’t write my stories if I can’t get my brain or my heart to work.

I’m really sorry to all my loyal readers. I really am. I wish I had been stronger. Thank you for all of your support throughout the years.

Don’t do drugs.

[velveteencurtains]

folklore first impressions!

the 1 — don’t hate me for this but. HAYLOR RIGHTS. anyway so so fucking CUTE i’m gonna cry. “the greatest loves are over now” WAHHH IM GONNA CRY

cardigan — taylor if i ever meet you i’m getting you to write “stars around my scars” for a tattoo. watched the music video before i listened to the full album and i’m so glad i did. cinematic masterpiece. this song is so fucking good you guys holy shit. just the sentiment of the lyric “when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite”. anyway YOU DREW STARS AROUND MY SCARS BUT NOW I’M BLEEDING. guys. TYE PETER PAN REFERENCE IM. WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG THEY ASSUME YOU KNOW NOTHINNG GNGNGNNG.

the last great american dynasty — WHO IS REBEKAH. these lyrics are so good holy shit. DID SHE JUST USE GAUCHE IN THIS SONG????? the layered harmonies on the chorus oh my god. “THERE GOES THE MADDEST WOMAN THIS TOWN HAS EVER SEEN” okay i havent listened to mad woman yet but if this is a parallel i’ll die. DID SHE JUST SAY BITCH??? i’m putting “she had a marvelous time ruining everything” on my gravestone. taylor please give us a music video. please. please. STOP HER VOCALS ON “I HAD A MARVELOUS TIME RUINING EVERYTHING”

exile — okay confession time i’ve never heard a bon iver song before and i thought he was a woman so his voice actually scared me. “you’re not my homeland anymore, so what am i defending now?” REAL SHIT???????? wait wait WAIT “I hit the Sunday matinée/You know the greatest films of all time were never made” and “I think I’ve seen this film before” IS THAT A PARALLEL???? the duet section “you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs” Taylor I’m crying and it’s your fault. NOT “we always walked a very thin line” THE PARALLEL TO HAUNTED I’M CRYINGG

my tears ricochet — okay I already posted about how this is gonna kill me the title the fact it’s track 5 the fact it’s self written i’m ready. HER VOCALS AT THE BEGINNING. “IF I’M ON FIRE YOU’LL BE MADE OF ASHES TOO” REAL FUCKING SHIT TAYLOR???????? “IF I’M DEAD TO YOU WHY ARE YOU AT THE WAKE” IM CONVULSING MY HEART IS LITERALLY RACING ARE YOU SHITTING ME “YOU KNOW I DIDNT WANT TO HAVE TO HAUNT YOU, BUT WHAT A GHOSTLY SCENE” the way i’m literally losing my mind right now. this is the best song i’ve ever heard. real shit. real fucking shit. “and I can go anywhere I want, just not home” IM FUCKING FERAL TAYLOR. THE VOCALS IN THE BRIDGEEEEEEE. this is her best track 5 I dont care. “Written by: Taylor Swift” THE POWER THAT HOLDS

mirrorball — when i first saw this name i thought of the fushigi not gonna lie. NOT THE ECHOEY VOCALS PLEASE. “i can change everything about me just to fit in” oh wow. oh wow oh wow oh wow oh wow oh wow. i’m crying right now. someone much more eloquent than i will write a thinkpiece about this and put it excellently but the notion of never showing your true self ‪and constantly changing to fit in and being a reflection of what other people want you to be....no i’m not okay‬

seven — oh shit we get right into this whatttttt okay. the vocals, I’ve already said i’m dead like 100 times in this but who cares i’m DEAD. no one is gonna get this but this song reminds me of spring awakening the musical. like seriously this is ilse singing to moritz. if you don’t know what that means go listen to the musical and then you will. the outro is so gorgeous oh my god

august — am i stupid or does this song remind me of danny and sandy from grease. like this is from sandy’s perspective. ignore me i will make connections to musical theatre even if it isn’t there. SO MUCH FOR SUMMER LOVE BABEYYYYY. HER VOCALS ON “YOU WERENT MINE TO LOSE” ARE YOU JOKING???? for the hope of it all. this is fifteen’s older sister don’t @ me. STOP WHEN IT GETS QUIET AND THEN THE MUSIC COMES BACK YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT MY EYES JUST BULGED OUT OF MY HEAD. yeah okay I’ll talk a lot about her lyricism in this but this song really made me wanna appreciate the instrumentals?? holy shit they’re so good. insanely good. what the hell taylor. oh my god

this is me trying — once again a round of applause to the instrumentals this intro is sick!! this feels like the last time’s optimistic sister. i hate it when people say that but like...it’s true. “so i got wasted, like all my potential” oh my GODDDDDDD. the vocals on “at least i’m trying” exCUSE ME?? okay going back to the grease thing this is danny’s perspective. period. jack antonoff and taylor swift is a duo that will go down in history.

illicit affairs — i have no words. no words. my favorite song on the album. holy shit. holy SHIT

invisible string — what’s so interesting about these songs is that they’re so intricate and complex and tell their own little stories that i barely wanna do this bc i don’t wanna focus on anything else than listening to the lyrics and making little music videos in my head. taylor has always been amazing at storytelling but this is next level. “a string that pulled me out of the wrong arms into that dive bar” with “dive bar on the east side where you at?” And “one single thread of gold tied me to you” with “deep blue, but you painted me golden”. wow. WOW. her little vocalizations at the end. i love her. so much

mad woman — THE SONG I WAS MOST EXCITED ABOUT WHEN I SAW THE TRACKLIST. DID SHE JUST SAW FUCK TAYLOR JUST SAID FUCK. taylor please give us a music video set in witch trial salem PLEASEEEE I HAVE ONE (1) REQUEST. “it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together” IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII my heart is pounding so hard right now. what a TUNE WHAT A TUNE TAYLOR SWIFT DID THAT

epiphany — she sounds like an angel. yes i’m crying. is it stupid to say this makes me think of like a medic on the frontlines dealing with the traumas of war? probably. this is so gorgeous. the drums at the end that feel like a heartbeat. wow. wow. wow.

betty — TAYLOR SAID FUCK AGAIN i need to stop she’s a grown woman i can’t freak out when she curses. taylor make a music video for this but make the love interests two girls pls. nevermind just heard the james lyric. the key change?????? yeah i showed up at your party!!!!! will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?? STANDING IN YOUR CARDIGAN. william bowery whoever you may be (👀👀👀) thank you for this and god bless taylor swift

peace — so simple. so beautiful. yes i’m still crying. i love this song so much. wowowow

hoax — yeah the latter half of the album is just pure tears for me. “don’t want no other shade of blue but you?” Jesus Christ. Oh my god. “you knew the hero died, so what’s the movie for?” wow. wow. thank you Taylor. i love you so much

overall: yeah judging by the tears down my face it’s pretty aight. kidding this is a full blown masterpiece. literally album of the year. decade. millenium. my only critique is that there isn’t music videos for every song. everything is so intricate and poetic yet the entire album is so sonically cohesive and fluid i’m literally in awe. illicit affairs left me SPEECHLESS. holy fuck. i need a minute.

[sweetlittleboytoy]

A BNHA Mafia Au written by me and other people in my discord!

(This was my first real post so uh i hope you like??🥺🥺)

You run to the closest structure as the rain starts beat down on you harder. You safely make it under an awning and shiver....

Damn the rain and damn your lack of foresight. The clouds had been threatening to drench anyone who dares leave their home all day but since it had been mostly all bark, no bite you had decided to play chicken with them anyways. Oh well, worse things have happened. You look around, seeing the people passing with umbrellas. Footsteps closing in on you draw your attention and you turn your head. Another person, another victim of the rain.

You look up to see a man with red hair, shaking his head to rid himself of the water that had poured on him.

“What a day to forget an umbrella huh?' The man said suddenly, not really looking at you.

You nod for a moment, only to realize that he still wasn't looking at you, and you didn't want to seem rude,”Yeah, didn't think it would come down this hard.' You said back to him.

He finally looked at you, his red eyes almost sparkling in amusement, 'Funny thing is, I actually have an umbrella in my car!' he laughed.

“I mean I could invite you to tag along and get it! But I figured that'd probably be a... really really weird thing to say to a strangers...´ he continued and scratched the back of his neck.

You laugh too, nodding along to what he was saying 'yeah maybe, and we'd get drenched on the way there anyways.' you looked off towards the street again, smiling to yourself. He was cute. Real cute. And... just your type. Bumbling, excited and kinda quirky. Like your own personal sun on this rainy day.

“.Mmmh true. Well what were you doing? I mean... before it started raining?'"You look at the red haired stranger nervously,was the truth even an option here?”I was just exploring,”you say softly.He looks at you and absentminded,you shrink under his gaze.He smiles at you,”in the rain?”he says teasingly “and odd time to explore dont ya think”

Your face seems to flush in embarrassment, "Well, I guess you could say I'm new to this part of town... So I just thought I would take a good look around to familiarize myself." you admitted as you watched a car pass by, splashing a couple of puddles.

You leaned forward and looked up at the sky. "New to the area? I could show you around, ya know!" You could hear the excitement in his voice as a smile crossed your face again. You turned and looked at him and tucked your hair behind your ear, "You don't have to do that."

“Well what if I insist then? I mean, I couldn't possibly leave a lady like you in trouble! I take my title of hero very seriously you see.' As he said the last part he put his hand on his chest and gave you a small bow. You giggle at his actions, feeling a little more at ease. 'Hero huh?' you ask, putting a hand on your hip.

“That's what the kids at work call me, I'm a physical therapist with a main focus on working with kids. I don't work too far from here so I know my way around."

He stood tall and you're sure he puffed his chest out a little extra, proud of his work surely. Your heart melted a little at his bright smile. And as he smiled the rain started to calm to a soft dribble. You looked away and held out your hand to feel how bad the rain was. 'Well... what's my heroes name then? I can't let a stranger help me...'"

“It’s Eijirou Kirishima!”

He smirks and jokingly bows again,poking out his arm.”Away we go milady”.You take his arm,looking at him happily.”i never got your name”he says”i wouldn’t want you to continue to think of me as a stranger.”

You pause at the question,another worrying answer.You decide to trust him,”it’s y/n,my last names a little weird though”You say nervously.

“Nothing i couldn’t pronounce i bet”he teases.

“it’s uh..l/n”you say quietly.

“Wait like,the criminal?”He says in a joking manner.

You nod.”Family member,”you say to him softly.He shrugs and continues to walk with you”No biggie,i won’t judge you on that.My names Eijirou!Eijirou Kirishima” He says proudly.

“oh wait i already said that”he realizes. You laughed at his small mistake, "It's alright, now I won't forget your name." you walked arm and arm with Eijirou, letting him lead you around the new area.

"Thanks... by the way." You said suddenly, your voice shy now as you two walked together. "By not judging me for my family ties." You kept your gaze away from him as you took in the scenery, mentally taking in what was around you to remember for later.

Eijirou let out a small chuckle and rubbed the back of his head with his other hand, "You can't just judge someone by their family members, it's not fair." He said, putting his arm down and looking down at you.

"You seem like a really nice person Y/N, I couldn't think poorly of you."

"You let out a weak chuckle at his genuine comment. Its ironic how someone you just met sounded like he knew you so well. What he said made youre heart twist almost painfully. He didn't know you, you reminded yourself. You just met.

'Thank you but... Uhm I'm sorry Kirishima but... do you know where the next ward begins? I'll know where to go from there. Thank you for helping me, by the way.' You look up at him finally, smiling as to try to hide your true feelings. As you speak you also grab his left hand in both of yours, an attempt to have him not worry too much about why you seem so nervous.

Unbenknownst to him the border between this ward and the next is where you're hoping to findbyour brother. You knew there had been some problems expanding your familys teritory to span more wards, apparently you were creeping your way into som big shots place. You never approved of the stuff but when your brother were missing suddenly in the morning you pretty much knew where he'd be. “Yea of course y/n” he says to you.You can still hear worry present in his voice,but you can’t focus on that now.

“Give me your phone?”he asks softly,”i wanna make sure you get home safe.Bad stuff happens around here”

Ya don’t say?You think to yourself.

You hand him your phone and he adds in his contact,”I’ll text you in an hour,so i hope you answer” he says to you”

You nod and walk tothe direction he pointed in,and wave him goodbye,walking through the darkly coloured gate. You let out a breath, not that you really wanted to leave Eijirou's side, but more because you were alone. You looked down at your phone and almost had a burst of excitement, a giddy feeling, he had given you his number.

You really couldn't believe it, you cleared your throat and straightened up, unable to shake away this feeling, it was the happiest you had been in a while. You pushed forward and headed away from Eijirou and to look for your brother. The street you had been pointed to follow indeed took you to the next ward. Obviousy you wouldnt find your brother out on the open street. He may be bold but he wasnt stupid. Or... not that stupid. So you turned on a street, in on a backstreet that seemed promising. Dark and damp from the recent pour, and most importantly empty of people.

If your memory served your right then the new exapnsion should be somewhere here. Your brother had said they were making plans to make a hit on a warehouse owned by the other mafia so thats where you were headed. Doubts flooded your mind. Maybe you should just send Eijirou a text, meet him and have a nice rest of the day.

You realized that was too late when a gun shot echoed through the empty street. “What the fuck did i tell you would happen if i caught you here again?”You hear a voice yell.

You hide behind a wall,staying out of the view enough but still being able to see them.

A man with spiky blonde hair throws someone on the ground.

“Then you shouldn’t have-“

A gunshot thudded through the alleyway,and a scream of pain shot through.

You recognised it,your brother.

You saw blood spill onto the wall,an a shudder went through you.

“I spared you once,on account of your damn sister.Stop fucking testing me you shit.” The blonde says looking at your brother. Your throat felt like it had a knot form on it and panic start to kick in. You didn't know what to do soyou moved before you thought. Peeking around the corner you first saw your brother finally. He was on his knees, blood pooling around his right knee ashe clutched it. He was panting, struggling to form words through the pain.

Above him the blonde stood. A gun pointed towards your brothers head. He cocked the gun while tilting his head, letting you see his face better. His red eyes were focused on your sibling. "Got nothing to say, huh? Fucking thought so. C'mon, not even a last message I can deliver to your sister?"

Your breath caught in your throat as your brother started to speak again. "G... go fuck yourself, dont even think about talking to her you-you bastard!"The blonde smirks.

“I was hoping you’d say that”

You felt your legs about to move,and before you did a hand wrapped around you and pulled you back.Another hand covered your mouth,keeping you from audibly screaming.

You were pulled back through the gate,and you automatically turned at kicked your kidnapper.

“Y/n!Stop it’s just me!!”You hear.

Opening your eyes you see your best friend,Shoto Todoroki.

“Oh my god Toki,don’t sneak up on me like that.”You said hugging him.

Your eyes open wide at your memory,”My brother!We have to help him!”You say to him.

Shoto shakes his head,”i have that side already in motion,your brother will be okay i promise”He says to you.

You forgot that Shoto was a double side member.But you didn’t forget that he cared enough about you to leave his family.He cares so much about you and your brother he decided to take the task of double siding both dangerous gangs.Just for you two.

“He’s all i have toki ,”You whimper and cry into his shoulder.He pets the back of your head softly,”I know n/n,hell be okay”.

He puts his jacket on you,making you yet again aware of the pouring rain.

“Let’s get you home for now.Hell be there soon.”You follow him, hugging his jacket around your shoulders. He’s set a quick pace away from the alley—he can’t be seen with you, especially not by Bakugo, but you’re not entirely sure where he’s taking you.

You’re not sure how far away you’ve gotten when Todoroki turns a corner and the two of you enter a shop. Behind the counter sits a girl you recognize, Momo, one of your brother’s most trusted friends.

The two exchange a nod, and then Todoroki’s leaving with little more than a “Your brother will meet you at home” to say goodbye.

You almost want to keep him here, you never see him anymore, but you know someone’s more likely to notice his disappearance the longer he’s gone.

Momo draws your attention as she moves from her place behind the counter, productions two identical umbrellas from her arm as she does. She gives you a little smile, handing one to you. “C’mon. I’ll walk you home.”You take the umbrella from Momo and smile back at her, you were running into all sorts of friends around here. You walked next to Momo as you headed back home through back alleyways, your umbrellas open now since it had begun raining again.

You felt your phone vibrate and pulled it out of your pocket, slowing your walking speed to see that Eijirou had texted you, just like he promised.

You responded to him and let him know you were walking with a friend and you were on your way home now.

"Momo... do you think my brother is okay?" You asked nervously, shoving your phone back into your pocket. "Toki told me he was going to be okay... but that situation was rough."You nod slowly,attempting to process what she told you.

Your phone buzzes again.

“i meant to tell you y/n,your pretty cute when your hairs wet”

You smile to yourself,a bit more at ease and trying to ignore the present situation.

—

At home though,things were quiet.Too quiet.

The second you closed you door and Momo left you felt eyes on you.Yet you made no motions to give way of this knowledge.

You moved to the kitchen and pretended to start a meal,sneakily hiding an ice pick in your sleeve.

Your quirk was unknown to most people,aside from Shoto and your brother,every though you were quirkless.

Having a mental quirk type,helped a lot more than a physical one.

You felt the eyes move,still they thought they were out of your view,but you could feel their upcoming attempt to attack.

They jumped at you,and immediately you threw the ice pick toward them,it stabbing deep into their arm.

The flash of green hair moved into your vision,and you armed yourself with the gun your brother gifted you.He looks at you with an evil smirk

“We meet again my dear.”You wrinkle your nose at the term of endearment, but you don’t comment on it, keeping still with the barrel of the gun aimed at him.

He doesn’t break eye contact as he reaches towards the ice pick. You realize then, with disappointment, that it hadn’t really imbedded itself in his arm—it had grazed him, drawing blood, but ultimately found home in the wall behind him.

Pity. You wouldn’t miss next time.

Izuku tosses the pick to the floor towards you. It’s not aggressive, it’s almost friendly, but you don’t bother to pick it up.

He sighs, adjusting the jacket of the suit he’s wearing. “I’m not feeling very welcome, darling.”

“Might be because you’re not,” you reply smoothly. “My brother will be back any minute. Do yourself a favor and scram before he does.”Izuku looks at you,he looks like a snake going after a mouse.And you’re his prey.

You see the green emission of his quirk slowly seep through the room,and you prepare to itself for his attack.

The door slams open,and you both turn to the door,and he’s there.

The blonde from the alleyway,Bakugo Katsuki.The leader of the opposing mafia,Fiero.

“I see you started without me again,Deku,”he growls annoyed.

Izuku smiles to him and bows,”Hello,*Kacchan*,”he says to the blonde,”i was only starting to talk,nothing more”He says,bringing the green light back into himself.

“You better fucking have been.”

He walks to the couch and plops down,he takes a necklace out of his pocket and tosses it to you.As you catch it,you realize,it’s your brothers.

Tears in your eyes you looked at him”is he...is he dead?”Your heart thumped loudly.

Izuku walks beside Katsuki,kneeling on the floor beside him.Katsuki puts his hand into his green hair,slowly petting him.

“He’s alive,for now.”

For now?you think.

You put the necklace beside the matching one you wore,”Where is he?”

“With the half n half bastard.Rouging him up more”He says to you with a villainous smile.

[heartbreakgrill]

That Smile; Luke Hemmings, Pt. 4

description: in which songwriting is over, but there’s still lyrics left to be written.

a/n: FINISHED SERIES

You glared at the wall across from you, fist clenched in your lap, teeth grinding together. The bass bounced from wall to wall in the studio, in tune with your fast-beating heart. You resisted the urge to scream, to curse the world, to quit your job and move to western France with all ties cut to anyone you ever knew.

Especially him. His stupid face was grinning at the carpet, skinny jeaned legs crossed over one another boot clad foot bouncing in the air. His hair was ruffled, messy from running his hands through it time and again, pushed behind his ears by a pen on his left side. Those stupidly gorgeous blue eyes were trained on the floor, too, almost nervous to meet anyone’s eyes.

They wrote a song without you- well, Luke wrote it, he even composed all of the instruments. Then, while you were working with another client for a grudging week, they recorded it. Now, they were playing it for you with proud shoulders, like, “Look! We can do it without you!”

This was your last week together. After a little over six months of bonding, partying, drinking, falling, and, yes, songwriting, it was coming to an end. You had never grown so close to a set of clients before, and you were terrified at how much it was going to hurt, saying goodbye. You hadn’t spoken to Luke since the week prior to your absence. You texted in the group chat about a few ideas, spoke to Calum both on the phone and in real life, and had even gone on a double date with Michael, Crystal, and a god-awful redhead. Ashtons girlfriend had taken friendly to you after a few mores parties, so youd even seen her for lunch and shopping with Crystal a few times.

But, he just wouldn’t speak to you.

You didn’t know why. You racked your brain for reasons and answers, afraid to even ask the questions. He averted his gaze when you looked his way, shrugged off your compliments on his outfit or lyrics, hadnt even liked your latest Instagram post. You were craving for his attention, pushing up at the universe which was destroying your year.

Two heartbreaks, and it had only been six fucking months.

Calum, who was sitting next to you- of course- tapped his fingers against your wrist to get your attention. You looked away from Luke, who looked back at you. He was disappointed to see you staring at Calum, a small smile lifting the corner of your lips. You murmured something, Calum smiled, and you looked back to Luke.

He went to look away, but simply couldn’t. He was avoiding your pretty face because he wanted to get detached before he had to say goodbye entirely. He knew you guys could hang out, and you were planning to come to Ash’s next weekend, but it wouldn’t be like it had been weeks before he got your confession. Plus, he was going home to Australia for a month or two, before the album was released, tour started, so his heart could mend.

He loved you, and you loved somebody else.

“So?” Ashton spun around in the studio’s chair, cheeks pudgy with a smile, “What do you think?”

You looked away from Luke, “Oh, it was really good. Really...good. What’re you gonna call it?”

Luke felt brave energy on the tip of his tongue. “Why wont you love you,” he said, directly into your gaze.

You furrowed your brows, your head tilting involuntarily. “Wh-“

“Yeah, we think were done now. That was the last song were gonna have on the record.” Michael interrupted without even meaning to.

“So today is your last day?” Your breath hitched, eyes already bleary with goodbyes.

Calum slung an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side, “Yeah. It is.”

You leaned into him without even meaning to, but Luke noticed. His bravery turned to venom, dripping off his frowning lips when he stood, headed for the door, and said, “Better get to confessing, Y/N.”

You stared at his empty seat, cheeks pink with embarrassment and sadness. Calum’s eyes screwed up with confusion, “What?”

Ashton and Michael looked towards you as you bent at the waist, cradled your torso. Calum got a better hold on you, hugging you as you began to cry. Ashton joined him on the other side, sitting on the arm of the couch. He rubbed your back, pushing hair out of your face.

Michael spoke, “What does he mean by confessing?”

“God,” you wiped at your cheeks, “God, I’m sorry.”

“What?” Ashton inquired.

You sat up a little bit because your chest hurt so badly, “I lied to Luke and told him I was in love with Calum because I love Luke and I didn’t want to make things weird. It was after my boyfriend broke up with me, so I was scared, and tired and my heart hurt so bad. And now Ill never see him again because he’s going back to Australia. And he didn’t even tell me that! He told Calum! Calum told me, and I feel stupid.”

Calum chuckled, sharing a knowing look with Michael, “Y/N, you dont have to apologize for defending yourself. You deserve the right to.”

“Yeah, its just human nature. Plus, I’m not sure it would make things weird,” Michael pursed his lips with quirked brows.

You looked up, “What?”

“Y/N, are you still scared?” Ashton playfully pinched your arm, smiling down at you when your eyes flickered to his.

“Tired?” Calum squeezed you in his arm.

“N-no, I’m just sad,” you admitted and pushed your hair back behind your ears.

Calum helped pull you from the couch, Michael gathered your things into your bag, and Ashton handed you Luke’s abandoned hoodie. Calum spoke as it happened, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to freak you out or scare you, but his plane leaves in six hours. Ill send you his address-“

“I did you one better; Its in your Google maps,” Michael grinned like a child when your head popped out of Luke’s sweater, which Calum had pulled over your head.

You looked to Calum, confused, “Its raining, dont want you to be cold.”

“Get to his place, Y/N, drive safely, but drive quickly. Get there and tell him before its too late,” Ashton hugged you tightly.

Michael did, too, and, finally, Calum squeezed you in his arms. “Go, on, then.”

You hesitantly stepped towards the door, a small smile meeting your eyes, “Yeah?”

They nodded before you turned on your heel, taking off like a bat out of hell.

As you drove, it all began to make sense. The song he wrote, the way he looked you in the eyes and told you what it was called. The way he held you after you got sick, the way he looked at you when you were with Calum. The longing in his eyes when he saw you leaving the studio, at parties when you were dancing. He’d dance with a few times, but when youd get too close, he would linger away, deflated, defeated, and alone.

The way he smiled at you.

-

When you arrived, the rain slowed to a drizzle. Your name was still on the guards checklist, and he pointed you towards Luke’s house with ease. You quickly texted Calum you were there before turning off the car and abandoning your phone on the passenger seat. You jogged to his front door, stopped with your fisted hand against it.

Your eyes shut, rain falling from your eyelashes and hairline like tears. With three rasps on the door with your knuckles, you stepped back. The door hesitantly opened- he must have seen you in the peep hole. His eyes racked your body, almost smiling when he saw his damp hoodie clinging to your frame, before he met your eyes.

“Y/N, I’m sorr-“

“No, okay?” You stopped him with your hands and voice, “Just, no. Don’t speak, just let me get this out, okay? Luke, I am sorry for lying to you. I dont love Calum, unless you count as a friend. He is an amazing guy, but, Luke, he’s not you.”

Lukes eyes widened, their familiar blue color shining down at you.

“I have denied my feelings for so long because I am so afraid of you. You are tall, and so sweet, and insanely talented. And you look like fucking Aphrodite. You’ve been with so many pretty girls, so many talented, pretty girls who just- I dont look like them. Plus, I was scared because I was broken up with and, even though I’d lost feelings, it just hurts knowing someone doesnt want you anymore. I-I, dont know, I think I was just holding myself back because. There’s no reason, just because. I know I’m not a size 0 and I know I’m crazy loud and I get drunk sometimes and I can be kinda annoying, but, Luke, I never want you to sing Why Won’t You Love Me? and think of me. I want you to sing Valentine and Better Man and just think of me.”

Luke stepped forward, enveloped your hips in his hands. You pressed yourself against his chest before he responded, “Those size 0 girls just aren’t you, either, Y/N. They’re not loud or crazy or, yeah, even annoying. They dont make my heart leap when they sing or my fucking head spin when they laugh or look at me. You make me smile so much more than they could. Fuck fear, Y/N, just let go and give into it. There’s nothing to be worried about because I will be there to catch you, okay? I cant just think about when singing those songs, though. Y/N, you are in my head all damn day, it’s fucking grueling because I just want to hold you in my arms and kiss you all the damn time.”

“Then do it.”

When he pulled away from you, eyes screwed shut in overwhelming joy and satisfaction, that damn smile was grazing his lips. You kissed it off of him, clutching at his shoulders before your hands moved around to the buttons on his shirt.

“Gonna invite me in?” You whispered against his lips, squealing when he lifted you in the air and pulled you inside.

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