#anyway have a good day guys drink some water \o/

[mylovesstuffs]

OT13 reaction to their s/o watching true crime before bed

Request: good evening😊 or good morning/afternoon depending what time it is in your city 🙂I would like to make request if it’s possible/open and if you in a mood / comfortable🫶🏻Svts reaction if their gf is watching criminal type of videos before going to bed 🌚 Like, it makes her feel relaxed, after all she is just a girl 💅Personally, I love to watch this type of videos, if I’m doing something or eating😅 Thank you very much! Have a nice day and stay safe and drink water ✌️

A/N: Good evening (or whatever time it is for you too!!) 😊🫶🏻 First of all, I totally get you. Nothing like some true crime documentaries or murder mystery videos before bed, it’s just ✨comforting✨ for some reason. And this was SO FUN to write!!!

"Uh...Babe? Are You Okay?" (Confused but Concerned)

Joshua: Low-key judging, but still loves you. He walks into the room, ready to cuddle, only to hear some creepy narrator say, “And that’s how they found the body, hidden in the walls—” His eyes widen immediately. “Baby…why do you look so relaxed while watching this??” He’d never stop you, but he’d definitely side-eye you every night.

Woozi: Does not get it, does not try to get it. He just stares at you as some guy on the screen says, “And the murderer was never caught.” “…You actually like this?” He won’t say much, but he’ll 100% complain when he hears it while trying to sleep. “Can you at least wear headphones? Please?”

Mingyu: Wholesome concern. This man genuinely just wants you to be safe, warm, and unbothered at all times, so he’s shook when he finds out that serial killer documentaries help you sleep????? “Baby, what if you have nightmares?” He might start watching with you just to ‘protect’ you…but ends up getting scared himself lol.

"Oh, That’s Cute." (Unbothered but Slightly Amused)

Jun: Casually listens but doesn’t flinch. If you fall asleep with a murder doc playing, he just tucks you in and keeps watching. The next day, he randomly goes, “Did you know that some serial killers keep trophies?” like it’s casual small talk.

Hoshi: Lowkey fascinated. You tell him, “It helps me relax,” and instead of judging, he just says, “Ooooh, okay.” He doesn’t really care but he might start asking questions. “Wait, how did he get away with it for so long?” Ends up getting into it because of you.

Vernon: Not at all fazed that you watch these. He walks in, sees you watching a 3-hour deep dive on a missing person case, and just goes, “Nice.” He’s the least surprised out of everyone. If anything, he just finds it funny when you’re eating a snack while watching something horrifying.

"WAIT, THIS IS INTERESTING." (Ends Up Watching With You)

Wonwoo: This man is lowkey a crime doc enjoyer already. He wouldn't even blink when you tell him it helps you relax. In fact, he might just ask for recommendations. “Which case are you watching today?” If you fall asleep before finishing, he’ll continue watching alone and update you in the morning.

Minghao: Doesn't get it at first, but respects your taste. Then one night, he sits down with you, and boom—he’s hooked. He starts watching crime docs in his free time and tells you random creepy facts. “You know, in some cases, the murderer actually returns to the scene.”

Seungkwan: He’d definitely roast you but then get invested lol. The first time he sees you watching, he gasps. “What do you MEAN this helps you relax??” But after five minutes of standing behind you, he suddenly whispers, “Wait, so how did they find the body?” Now it’s his addiction too.

Dino: Acts high-key dramatic about it but secretly enjoys it. He’ll joke like, “Ahhh, my girlfriend is scary!!” but then sits next to you and asks 10 questions per minute. If you fall asleep, he’ll be like, “Nooo, wake up! We still don’t know who did it!!”

"…Should I Be Worried?" (A Little Scared but Loves You Anyway)

Seungcheol: Fake worried. He sees you laying down and watching crime scene analysis and just sighs. “Remind me never to make you mad.” But he secretly finds it cute that you’re so into it, just don’t expect him to watch with you.

Jeonghan: Teases you constantly. “Are you taking notes?” “Should I be scared?” “You’re not…planning anything, right?” He acts suspicious of you on purpose but if he ever does watch, he’ll be too invested and refuse to sleep before knowing the ending.

Dokyeom: The most scared out of everyone. The moment he hears “and the killer was never caught,” he turns on all the lights in the house. He will refuse to watch with you, but if you tell him “It helps me relax,” he’ll just nervously smile and say, “Aha…yeah…okay…just don’t ever say that in public.”

[andredeyemii]

hii girll ur page is amazingg <3 how do u make manifestation fun?

girl manifestation is soo fun in general like you don't even need to do stuff babes (but you should cuz it's fun skdksk) the concept of just being unserious and carefree enough to choose how you want to think and accompany yourself so good, you can influence how you feel (like talking to someone and your mood gets better) damnn it's just fun.. but then you get you desires after!? soo fun.

H E R E I S H O W ( I D E A S ) : :

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : GRATITUDE : : instantly top one, it's life. I mean use anything else but this one is tradition and pricelessss

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SELF-CONCEPT : : just because it's second doesn't mean it's "less important" it should be a repiblic act

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : RAMPAGES : : I recommend high frequency guru for this, she has many amazingg rampages they're life

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : VOID STATE : : it's veryy spiritual and instant, like it feels so sacred like it belongs in ancient civilization practices

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SUCCESS STORIES : : turn off the stress news and listen to magical girls who manifested money outta nowhere this is what my account is forrr

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SUBLIMINALS : : guys we are evolving as a species, please use this and cherish it rnn goiss

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SATURATIONS : : these are my 2025 goals and this has the right to be included in beauty rituals cuzzz wow

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SCRIPTING : : you can script habitually or you can just write about your day with a lot of exaggerated positivity

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : DRESS UP : : would your higher self think like you? no, that's why you do saturations. would my higher self dress like me? no, so I do shopping sprees.

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : SHADOW WORK : : it's free therapy and it releases blocks and past traumas so you can embody ur dream self

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : VISUALIZATION : : it's the basics of manifestation do it as much as you can

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : BLAH BLAH BLAH : : stop complaining and start talking about success stories and lifelong goals instead, it's technically a mini-mind saturation

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : WORK W PLACEBOS : : knowing if something is just a placebo effect doesn't take away the magic of the mind when it just proves it. lmao.

T E C H N I Q U E S : :

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : social media technique : : when you see something you want, think "omg I have that too!!", "me rn", "twins!!" cuz y'all that's so much inspirational than jealousy

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : lists / checkbox technique : : list your desires and affirm that you have all of them cuz it's fun and you will anyways

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : the water technique : : esp if you're planning on drinking 2 liters of water and being hygienic for 2025, keep saying that water makes u prettier

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : the love letter technique : : if manifesting an SP or simply someone loving you, write a love letter to urself as if you're them with visualizations. or write yourself a love letter from you and write love letters you won't send hehee

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : I would like more technique : : gratitude is key for this, but basically if you experience one small good thing or a small manifestation, affirm "I am so grateful for this, universe / god, I would like more".

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : for you and for me technique : : you have to block out limiting beliefs. if you hear someone say "your standards are too high, good men don't exist." you think to yourself "good men don't exist FOR YOU" and stay safe. update your affirmations to say "money is so easy FOR ME to have" also <3

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ : : play some music babes : : everytime you listen to music esp those dreamy love songs and those pretty lyrics, pretend they're all about you. feel beautiful.

G E N E R A L T I P S : :

!! some people will not find some ideas and techniques fun because they're coming from a place of attachment, scarcity desperation and doubt !!

🌺 : : but baby girlll manifestation is supposed to be magiccc. you have to feel like a little girl again and pick up the feeling of believing that you're just a pixie fairy or a pretty princess WHEN you were a child.

that's what ultimate detachment is!! children can experience stuff, they throw tantrums ofc honey but they don't get stuck in the experience. you'll cry over the past but them?? they'll cry over a broken crayon but once the crayons are gone, they're playing tea party next. SEE???

so yah, feel like a child. you should have no problems believing in anything because you're overconsuming. I see you gurl. stop thinking serious and hanging on. have fun y'all.

[blueberrymocha]

main 4 summer hc

gon

✰ summer’s easily his favorite season

✰ spends all day outside

✰ if you’re his s/o, he’ll be dragging you along too

✰ loves to take you to the beaches on whale island

✰ you’ll build sandcastles, swim, play beach ball volleyball, etc

✰ which by the way, i see him as competitive

✰ if you keep losing terribly, he’ll probably let you win a couple times though

✰ he gives the vibe of shaking his hair all around after swimming; getting you wet

✰ he’ll laugh and apologize before offering to cook dinner

killua

✰ during the summer, he loves to go swimming

✰ i can see him taking you to a water park

✰ will definitely comment on your swimsuit and how you look in it

✰ nothing bad, just some teasing

✰ if you’re scared of rides, this might not be very fun for you

✰ because he’s gonna make you go on them with him anyway

✰ would find it funny if you started screaming

✰ you guys buy snow cones at the park

✰ someone bumps into him and makes him spill his

✰ you swear he looked like he was about to kill someone

✰ he gets over it when you share yours

kurapika

✰ does not like summer

✰ it’s extra hot out and you know he’s not going to have fun anyway, right?

✰ he’d rather just stay inside

✰ but you’ll force him to go out and enjoy the good weather

✰ with his limited free time, you’d probably just go on walks or something

✰ but if he happens to have more time, you might convince him to go with you to a carnival

✰ i heavily doubt he’s been on any rides before today

✰ therefore when he goes on a rollercoaster for the first time

✰ it’s a lot worse than he was expecting

✰ i won’t say he’s scared of them, but would probably not go on any more with you unless you really begged

✰ instead, he’d buy you cotton candy

✰ or honestly whatever you wanted, food, drinks, snacks, merchandise

✰ he has money to spend, and it distracts you from the rollercoasters at least

✰ one thing he does enjoy is the ferris wheel

✰ completely delivers on the romantic wattpad experience™

✰ the two of you sitting in a comfortable silence, watching all the tiny people below you

✰ once you get to the top, would kiss your lips and murmur something in his first language

✰ won’t elaborate on what he said, but safe to say your day out was a success

✰ he might even go out with you a little more often after

leorio

✰ another summer enthusiast

✰ for some reason, he’s like 80% less irritable during these few months

✰ would have a cookout/barbecue

✰ now i fully subscribe to the idea that this man can grill

✰ ideally, he’d invite over the whole gang

✰ if they couldn’t make it, he’s fine to have a mini party with you

✰ he covers the food, and leaves you with desserts and drinks

✰ let’s be real those drinks will all be beer or alcohol…

✰ if you like to bake, he’d be all over you

✰ tying back your hair, peeking over your shoulder with his arms around your waist, etc

✰ if you don’t like to bake, the two of you go on a little grocery run together

✰ you’ll have an argument in the bakery section

✰ he wants to buy brownies, you want strawberry shortcake

✰ the staff are concerned at first, but when they listen in on the conversation and hear dessert being thrown around,

✰ they’re almost tempted to kick you out✰ eventually, he gives in and buys both of what you wanted

✰ then when you get home you’ll suddenly want the brownies or he’ll be craving shortcake

✰ so maybe it was for the best

[okkalo]

idk if this is where u request stuff but here it goes….have u seen the tik tok trend where the girl would be fixing her lipstick and then the camera points to the guy who has lipstick stains all over him and looking at the girl with all the affection in the world…

can u plssss do something like this w blue lock boyss (mainly rin, barou, bachira, and sae) with a social media influencer s/o

it’s fine if u don’t!!

have a great day!! and drink lots of water!!🩵

hello!! thank u so much for the request and the kind words!! i hope u have a good day as well and remember to take care of urself!! 🫶

characters: rin, sae, barou, bachira,and karasu (yk i had to do him)

i’m a lover

rin

- he definitely put up a fight not to be in this one

- he’s not a social media fan whatsoever

- and he hated thinking about the freak out the media would have seeing THE rin itoshi simp over someone

- he was mostly scared of the blue lock boys finding out about the tiktok and teasing him for it

- but with enough convincing you got him to do it with you

- was so flustered when you started kissing him everywhere

- he would’ve given you a hard time but then you started kissing him all over his face and he just went speechless

- actually got the look down on the first try

- you thought it would’ve taken at least 10 for him to give you a soft look but he actually nails it

- the video definitely goes viral and definitely makes it’s way to the rest of the blue lock boys.

- he figured it was worth it though because he got to have you kissing him everywhere

you thought right from the moment rin’s mouth opened that he was going to nonstop talk about how dumb this whole thing is. but, he didn’t. he was sitting patient, his hand resting on your thigh as you reapplied your lipstick again. he secretly loved this, you could tell by the way he was blushing and avoiding your eye contact every time you went in for a kiss. and though he was being amazingly quiet, you had to give him some sort of a tease. you planted a hand on his cheek, waiting till his eyes met yours. once they did you gave a soft smile while going in for the last kiss. yeah, he was definitely flustered at that point. it was probably the only reason he got the look on the first go, however.

sae

- a lot easier to convince!!

- you only had to ask him twice!! we all know his i-don’t-care-what-the-media-thinks mindset.

- he acts so nonchalant about it but is so weak for you

- pretty much the opposite of rin

- his eyes never leave your face

- you probably get embarrassed because he is staring you down so far??

- and his hands are roaming up your waist at the same time??

- yeah he’s definitely doing this on purpose btw

- the only reason he agreed so easily was to make you embarrassed while doing so

- NAILS THE LOOK

- your breath caught in your throat seeing him looking at you like that

- flusters you even more by going in for a kiss

- he’s playing with you!!

- anyways it blows up, of course, with everyone freaking out in the comments about how weak they are for sae

- the final kiss part did make its way in the video too.

“okay sae, you ready?” you ask while fixing your hair and preparing the lipstick once again. once he hummed in affirmation, you pressed the button and waited for the music to start playing. sae was eager for his part of the video, his hand gently but firmly pushing your head to look his way. he definitely heard your breath hitch, a small smirk on his face as he went forward to give you a kiss. it was so breathtakingly good too, so much passion in the way your lips moved together. that didn’t stop sae from immediately pulling away as the sound stopped. “sae!” you whined, wanting more now.

“what? is there more to the video?” he innocently asked, getting up to leave. please just pull him back down.

barou

- no bc i KNOW u struggled to get him to do this

- the amount of scoffs and “tch”s you had to hear is insane

- he gives you such a hard time but i just know he feels so proud and cool doing it

- he gave you so much shit over everything though

- literally was complaining about how the lipstick felt on his skin at first

- he stuttered at first though because he was a little embarrassed over the thought of YOUR lipstick being all over him AND for show

- plays it off cool and acts like he’s not blushing

- tries to look in love with you but miserably fails 😭

- HE DOES LOVE YOU!! he’s just really awkward with trying to force the face

- it took you guys a good ten clips for him to finally make a somewhat good face

- he got so much shit from the blue lock boys but does not care whatsoever (he blushes a bit but that’s it)

- only cares once they start asking about you

- sendou and oliver are your new biggest simps!!

he knew it was a bad idea to do that video. now his teammates won’t shut up about you. “can we meet them?” what a dumb question. of course he won’t let them meet you. what’s his is his and he certainly doesn’t share, especially with his dumb teammates. you definitely had some making up to do once he got home from the annoying practice he had to put up with.

bachira

- literally jumped around in excitement when you brought the trend up

- he LOVES being on your social media!!

- is literally your biggest fan. he runs the fan club.

- every time you place a kiss on his face he will reciprocate the kiss on yours 🥹

- he is so adorable help me

- he also struggles with the face 😔

- it’s either too happy or too serious

- he gets it faster than barou though!!

- jumps on you and gives you a big smooch once you guys finish

- probably wants to do the same thing but swapped so he’s kissing you everywhere

- absolutely shows the video to everyone

- he’s literally spamming comments about how much he loves you too

- he’s so so happy he got to be in one of your videos <3

“okay, my turn now!” he exclaims while jumping off of you to find your lipstick again.

“your turn?” you ask, confused on what he was talking about. he only looks at you like you asked a dumb question before going back to uncapping your lipstick.

“to kiss you everywhere, duh.” you had to stifle a giggle as you watched his lips turn bright red.

“you already did that when it was my turn.”

“not enough!” you knew there was no arguing with him. it not like you could when he was already kissing you everywhere…again.

karasu

- smirked so hard when you asked him

- immediately agreed with some teasing of course

- makes you kiss him on the lips every time you kiss his face

- and it’s a deep kiss every time too

- one hand is rubbing up and down your waist while the other is on your nape to give you a push towards his lips

- he has the same objective as sae.

- however he also gets embarrassed once he peeks over to the mirror and sees your kiss outline everywhere

- that doesn’t stop him from teasing you though

- HE DID THE LOOK SO WELL TOO??

- GOD HELP ME I LOVE HIM

- he does the look so well that you’re the one smirking at the end because it reminds you he is SO down bad for you

- please kiss him afterwards

- he brushes all the comments of the blue lock boys aside

- probably shares the video to his social media because he’s so proud??

you just had to kiss him after the video. i mean seeing him like that? how couldn’t you? you did have to put up a fight to separate from him afterwards though, his lips not wanting to leave yours. he huffed out a sigh once you were successful with pulling away though, eyes fleeting to the mirror once again. “i look pretty good like this,” his statement makes you giggle. maybe you could indulge him for a longer kiss this time.

unedited thanks for reading!

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Can I please have scenarios for EJ, Toby, Julius, and bloody painter helping their nonbinary s/o through a panic attack and comforting them? Thank you and have a wonderful evening

𝔹𝕃𝕆𝕆𝔻𝕐 ℙ𝔸𝕀ℕ𝕋𝔼ℝ!!!! 𝕄𝕐 𝕊ℙ𝔼ℂ𝕀𝔸𝕃 𝔻𝕌𝔻𝔼!!!

ℂ𝕣𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕥𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕘𝕠 𝕥𝕠 @𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕤-𝕟-𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖!! 𝔾𝕠 𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕚𝕣 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜!

𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘!!

Eyeless Jack

Whenever Jack sees you in a state of panic, his brain immediately shifts to a more medical state

He isn't good with emotions, but facts he can work with

So he starts instructing you on what to do

He doesn't touch you, as he doesn't want to induce more panic

He instructs you to stand up and do jumping jacks, which you very much do not want to do

He insists you do it anyways, and while you are doing your jumping jacks he is off getting you a big cup of very cold water

When he comes back, he tells you to take at least 3 big gulps of the water

Once you've drank all the water you want, he tells you to lay on your back and breathe through your stomach (basically meaning your stomach rises instead of your chest)

You do this until you are calm, and while he waits, Jack records your heart's pace

Once you are calm, if you want anything like cuddles, you'll have to tell him

Because on his own, he saw this as purely medical and not a reason to be all lovey with each other

However, he is happy to oblige with your requests for a little bit before going back to whatever he was doing before

Sorry guys his ass does not understand emotional intimacy

Toby

When Toby sees you panicking, he starts to panic

What happened? How long have you been like this? How does he help?

He tries to not make that panic known though, because he knows that would likely stress you out and he doesn't want that

So he instead comes to where you are and sits in front of you, whispering to you how it's gonna be ok, and how he's gonna make it better

He cradles you in his arms and rocks you back and forth, rubbing your back and telling you to just breathe, don't even think about anything just breathe

And he will sit there just like that, for minutes, hours, days, however long you need to feel ok

He will wipe away your tears and kiss where they were

He will give you breathing exercises and try them with you

He will brush your hair (if you have any, if you don't he will give you some soothing hand lotion and tell you to just breathe in the calming scent)

He will literally do anything for you, and once you are calmed he will kiss you all over and take you out to celebrate overcoming such an obstacle

Julius The Dressmaker

He's typically a more goofy guy, so he gets kind of awkward in emotional situations

He will still care for you of course, but it will be slightly unconventional

"Hey dummy, there's nothing to panic about"

"Come on, take your meds and be done with it"

He'll likely end up taking you to one of the more mental health practiced doctors of the manor, so you won't get to see Jack, sorry pookies

You will however, get to see Dr. Smiley! (He isn't allowed to do any physical medical practices because he's stupid, so he's a psychologist now. Yes i did just make this up right now, why do you ask?)

Julius will kind of just...drop you off there and hope for the best

Surprisingly enough, Smiley is in fact qualified for his job and does help you out quite a lot!

You are still kind of upset, but it's definetly way better than before

Julius will comment about how much he "missed the happy you" before insisting that he cuddle with you for hours

Just to be sure you're 100% ok

Bloody Painter

Being a very quiet and observant person, Helen likely noticed something was wrong before you even did

So he was on top of it instantly, instructing you to drink water, breathe, and practice coping skills

He stays glued to you the entire time

While you pour yourself water from the pitcher, he is holding you from behind and pressing kisses to the crook of your neck

While you are breathing, he helps you count the seconds that pass

And to try to distract you from your oncoming panic, he will bring you to his studio and let you paint

And if you don't want to paint, he sets up some of his "failed projects" outside and let's you go ham on them

Awww your own personal rage room <333

Of course, it's nothing like a fancy tv, but you do get to stab some canvases and shatter some pottery so it's still fun

While you do this, he kind of just stands back, his hands on his hips with an observant expression on his face

When he is certain you are calm, he will gently take your hand and hold it high up while muttering how good you did and pressing a kiss to your head

[jisungsbff01]

.like i need you.3.

...pairing…Chan x reader

...w.c... 2.6k

...genre…slice-of-life, college au!

...warnings...swearing,

...characters...Y/N, (OC) Lilith, (OC) June

...synopsis...No one ever really knows what they wanna do in their 20s, but Y/N has always known what she was going to do. So, she began the journey to her dream and is so close to reaching it with no distractions at all. Until she is thrown into a project with Hyunjin, a fellow senior in college, and he introduces her to a few of his friends...connecting with one in particular...

Her whole plan is soon thrown off the track she’s had it on for 21 years….

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Minho, I’m telling you it won’t be that bad, just come over for a little bit.” I plead with my brother over the phone. Lilith, June, and I were all getting ready to go out with the boys. Lilith has dubbed the group “The KIds” because they act as such at times around each other. I am begging my brother to come, he’s been friends with a few of them for a few years, so he knows the group…and I haven’t seen him in a couple months.

“It’s not that I don’t want to come, Y/N, it’s that I have plans already with Jihyun…it’s our one year and I’m kind of planning something big.” He quietly tells me. Then it dawns on me…he’s going to propose to her! I am not going to stand in the way of him doing so, I love Jihyun, she’s an angel and definitely balances out my brothers asshole personality.

I sigh, defeated, but understood, “Okay, but you two be safe…and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” We said our goodbyes and let each other go so each of us could get ready for our respective plans.

I let the girls know that we’d be one kid short, but they were both familiar with Minho anyway from many visits to see my family they tagged along on. We all bonded as we got ready, June asking if her outfit looked okay, whilst her makeup was perfect…as always. One of us were blasting music, not too concerned about getting a noise complaint. Most of our neighbors were older, mostly deaf people who loved all of us anyway. I sat in the bathroom sink, setting braids in my hair to tame the rat’s nest that didn’t want to lay down no matter what I tried.

I begin humming along to the song I figured out was coming from June’s room:

You’re the only one who makes me laugh

So, how can my day be bad?

It’s a day for you

Coffee in the morning, you and the sun

There’s a brown hue in your eyes

How pretty it is

I think I’m in love

Once my hair is put up, I go with simple makeup, not skilled or patient enough to do a full glam look. A pink hue brushes across my lids, glitter catching in the right lighting. I feel giddy for some reason, but chalk it up to meeting a few new people.

I look at my watch, it reading 6:32PM, and a text from Hyunjin comes through.

H: Chris is out getting some drinks for tonight, do any of you have a preference of alcohol?

M: Lilith is a tequila girl, I’m sure any brand is fine…June is a fruity girl, so sweet wines or Margarita’s are her thing, and I’m sure anything you guys have will be fine with me! We’re finishing up and will make our way over there.

H: I’ll let him know, and how are you getting here? Bus?

M: That was the plan

H: Don’t worry about it, I’ll have him pick you up-I have your address saved, so I’ll just send it to him!

I sent him a “thumbs up” emoji and go to my room to get dressed. Deciding on a casual street look, I let them know that we were going to be picked up. I turn off all the unnecessary lights and wait in the kitchen for them, sipping on a glass of water until they’re ready. I hear my phone ping from my side pocket, pulling it out I see a message from an unknown number.

“Who’s that, Hyunjin? We’re ready, just gotta throw our shoes on.” June informs me as I open the message.

UNKN: Hi, Y/N, it’s Chris, Hyunjin gave me your number-I hope you’re okay with that. But, I’m pulling up outside your apartment whenever you’re ready.”

M: You’re good, I don’t have an issue with it! We just have to out our shoes on and we’ll be out there!

C: Sounds good, I’m the only car out here, I won’t be hard to spot!

The three of us throw our shoes on our shoes and meet Chris, who is standing by the front passengers side of the car, on the phone with who I quickly learn is Changbin.

“No, Bin, I’m not gonna do that. I’l explain later, we’re headed back, yeah,yeah,yeah…”he hangs up and smiles at us with his warm smile that makes you feel like nothing could go wrong in the world. He opens the rear door first, my two friends all but throwing themselves into the backseat. He turns to me, “So much like the kids, huh?”

I put my hand on his shoulder, “Oh, baby, you don’t know the half of it.”

His laugh makes something in me stir, not unwelcome, just foreign…and he opens my door, his hand acting like a cradle for my head and he closes it behind me. Before he could make it to the driver’s side I hear from the backseat,”Bitch, I’m telling you…”

I sharply ‘shush’ both of them and he climbs into the driver’s seat, checking the rearview mirror before driving to our destination.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

We’re welcomed by a loud ‘hurrah’ once we enter the large apartment, Han taking the drinks I insisted I take from Chris, who also had his hands full. Once we all settle down…as much as that way possible. We all mingle and get comfortable with each other rather quickly, Han velcroing himself to me as soon as we sat down. He and I talked mainly about my brother, the two of them being pen pals for forever and finally meeting when they happened to meet at college, which Lee Know graduated last year since he started early. I found myself being so fond of every single person here.

After being so focused on studying and trying to make everything perfect, it’s so nice to be able to relax a little bit. After a few glasses of wine, it dawns on me that I haven’t eaten anything all day and I’m feeling warm. I decide to break away from the group to head to the kitchen for a much needed glass of water. I easily find where the kept their mugs, regular glasses not so much, so I settled for a cute mug that looked like it was handmade. I use the water dispenser on the fridge and nearly down what I put in the cup, filling it up as quickly as I downed it.

There’s a shuffling behind me and I slowly turn and see Chris, who’s neck is probably the same shade as my face right now.

“You okay?” He asks, his accent thick and low in his throat.

“Uh, yeah, I just realized that I hadn’t really eaten anything today, so I’m feeling the alcohol more than I normally would.” I giggle out, embarrassed.

His mouth takes shape in an ‘o’ and he quickly rummages through the fridge, asking me if there’s anything I was craving.

“Now that you ask, I’m really craving some Taiyaki, it sounds sooo good right now. But, I’m not too picky.”

He pulls his phone out of his back pocket and begins scrolling, “There’s a place a few blocks down that’s still open if you’re down to walk.”

I smile, closing my eyes in bliss from the sweet treat I am going on a journey for, “Sounds amazing, I’m down for anything as long as it involves Taiyaki.”

He leads me to the front door, somehow avoiding the large group in the living room, who were now playing Truth or Dare. I could hear Changbin and Seungmin shouting profanities at eachother as Chris closed the door.

We walk side-by-side, starting off with a bit of small talk. We find ourselves walking half a normal pace, taking fifteen minutes to get to the small hole-in-the-wall street stand. Chris practically begged to pay, which I wasn’t given much of a choice considering I had left my wallet at his apartment. I let out a sound as soon as I took a bite into that delicious pastry. We strayed a little off the original path we took and we talked about anything and everything. Talking mainly about our friends, noting that June and Felix seemed to have taken a liking to each other and we have made it our mission to see if we could coax them together. After about twenty minutes we made it back to the apartment, the group still as lively as when we left. No one made any comments to our absence much to my surprise and we just slipped back into the group as if we never left.

“Okay, okay, so I think it’s Chris’ turn to pick-Channie-hyung what do you wanna play next?’ Jeongin asked sweetly, definitely not sober.

Chris decides on Mario Cart on Felix’s Nintento Switch they hooked up to the TV in the living room. The first ones to play were Felix, Chris, Seungmin, and Jeongin. The rest of the group cheered them on from the sidelines, and suddenly I feel surrounded. Surrounded I was, by Han, Hyunjin, and Lilith. All three of them started at me, Han speaking first, “Don’t think we hadn’t noticed you two slip out.”

Lilith looks at me, betrayal in her eyes, “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t at first, Shortstack over here was the one who pointed it out to me.”

I raised my hands in surrender,”I didn’t eat anything today and was feeling the alcohol a little too much and Chris asked if I wanted to go grab something down the road. That’s it, guys…”I look at Lilith pointedly, “dont start this crap again, please.”

“Ooh, what crap, I wanna know?”Hyunjin butts in.

“That Chris is in love with her.” She blurts.

I start,”He is not i-”

“Aahhhh, he so is. Y/N nah, this man is obsessed.” Han cuts me off.

I interject before I am interrupted again, “We met for 8 minutes two days ago.”

Hyunjin quickly lets out a short sentence, “8 minutes too long.” He shutters as if to shake off a memory.

Lilith puts a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder, which surprises me in itself, “Bitch, he looks at you with hearts in his eyes.”

“Okay, I’m not entertaining this conversation anymore, we are just friends. The end.” I cut sharply.

After that conversation, I definitely needed a couple more drinks. I head to the kitchen and grab a bottle of soju and a shot glass, bringing the first two glasses to my lips immediately. By the third, Jeongin walks in…so red in the face. Poor baby. He reminds me of my younger brother that I haven’t seen in a couple of years and I feel the need to just protect him from the world.

“Noona, are you okay? You keep wandering off…”

“I’m okay, Jeongin, just trying to soak it all in.” I respond.

He pulls out another shot glass and pours himself a glass, throwing it back as quick as I did the first two. From there he and I found ourselves with a soju bottle each, on the kitchen floor laughing about…nothing…absolutely nothing. I quickly learned that Jeongin’s natural habits really came out when he drank. He called me ‘noona’ and continuously spoke formally to me after I told him not to bother with it. It wasn’t long before June came in, looking for me,a dn probably now a little sober than me, too.

“We’re gn’na spend the night here, yes?” she asked, slurring slightly.

I stumbled into a standing position, “No, we gotta get home, we can’t invade their home.”

“Y/Nnie, don’t worry about it, we do it all the time…well not all the time, but often. We have plenty of spare mattresses,” Han pointed out, almost the whole crew coming into the kitchen at one.

“And I can’t go to sleep with a clear conscious with you guys taking the bus this late, it’s no bother-swear.” Chan pipes up.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The kids had just enough spare toothbrushes for the three of us between the seven of them, Changbin and Hyunjin made up all the mattresses and throwing a bunch of spare pillows and blankets on them. Changbin took a mattress, Seungmin and Jeongin shared a mattress, I let Lilith and June share the last mattress and I took the couch. It didn’t take long for all of them to pass out, Changbin snoring slightly with his neck at such an uncomfortable angle. After a few hours of me tossing and turning, my brain just couldn’t shut off after what Han, Hyunjin,and Lilith said earlier. Did Chris really like me? Does he look at me with ‘heart eyes’? Then my thoughts went to all the exams I have left this week, my math one stressing me the worst. I got up for what felt like the fifth time to go to the bathroom, I took care of business and on my way back to the living room I ran into a shadow-keeping in a scream. I was quieted by a hand over my mouth and a voice close to my ear, “It’s just me, don’t wake them up, they all are a pain to get back to sleep.”

I playfully push him away and whisper, “Chris, you scared the shit out of me. “

He chuckles lowly, “ Well it’s a good think you just went then, yeah?”

I push him once more and he grabs my wrist as we start having a conversation in the middle of the hallway.

“Can’t sleep?” He asks me.

“No. My mind just won’t shut off…and the couch is a little uncomfortable”

“Oh, tell me about it-wait- they didn’t give you a mattress?”

“I didn’t give them a choice,I knew I’d have a hard time sleeping.”

“Well, do you want to share my bed? Respectfully, of course. I mean, I can even make a pallet on the floor.” He offers.

“I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed, and I’ll just keep you up.”

“Y/N I wouldn’t offer if I thought you would keep me up, I couldn’t sleep either and just heard someone else up. I really don’t mind.” He opens his door behind him all the way and I make my way in.

He shows me where everything is and tells me to make myself comfortable. At first I lay on the right side of the bed and realize it’s warm from him laying there, so I quickly slide over to the left, climbing under the sheets. He did the same, putting a pillow between us so I’d feel more comfortable, he faced me and brought the comforter up to his chin and sighed.

“Chris, do you miss your family in Austrailia?” I ask abrupt.

He quickly propped his head onto his palm,” Yeah, I mean of course, I feel like I’ve missed out on so much with all of them. Hannah is now a high school graduate and my brother is growing up so fast that I’ve lost track. I try to talk to them when I can but it can be hard for sure. Are you missing your family?”

I begin to fight back tears, the alcohol still burning in my blood, “Yeah, but I’ve been trying to keep it all pushed down so I didn’t think about it…but hanging out with Jeongin tonight made me realise how much I really missed them. He reminds me of my little brother so much at times.”

I quietly begin to cry and he just slowly pulls me into his arms, whispering soothing words into my ear. Soon enough, my brain quiets and eventually just shuts off altogether, taking my consciousness with it.

Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought!!

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Pasta Salad

Wherein Eris and the Drifter discuss the history of a name.

Link to Ao3 if you prefer to read it there

ACCESS: RESTRICTED DECRYPTION KEY: 8KF2Y5AG89$IKO-006 REP#: 088-ATHENAEUM-DERELICT-AUDIO AGENT(S): AUN-326 SUBJ: VIP#1316 AND ERI-223 INTERACTIONS - PASTA SALAD

RECORDING 81009.2 [BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

“Well that was quick.”

“What is this you left for me?”

“You don’t like it? I can bring you something else.”

“It’s delicious… but very confusing.”

“O great and powerful hive god of vengeance, you are currently being confused by a pasta salad.”

“I did not think pasta could be a salad.”

“Well, proof of the contrary is currently in your mouth.”

“Where did you get the noodles?”

“I made them.”

“How?”

“With flour, water, salt and an egg.”

“What are the round things?”

“Uh… black round things with holes in them?”

“Yes. They are salty and briny, like cheese. But they are not cheese.”

“Those are olives. You ain't never eaten olives, Moondust?”

“How do you make them?”

“They’re a fruit. They grow on a tree, although those ones came from a jar I…uh… obtained… in the tower. The holes are from where they take out the seeds. They’re preserved, like pickles.”

“I like pickles.”

“Oh I know. That’s why I figured you’d like olives.”

“What are the green and red things?”

“Peppers. It’s a vegetable. I grow them under the lights with the other plants in that room on the Derelict I showed ya with all the plants and lights.”

“Is the white substance cheese?”

“Yup. Very simple cheese.”

“You… make cheese?”

“Not all kinds, cheese can be hard to pull off, but this one is easy. Takes a couple hours to prep and then it only needs to sit for a couple days. After that you can keep it for weeks.”

“It’s very salty.”

“That’s cuz it’s stored in a jar of salt water. You like it?”

“Yes.”

“Thought you might. You ain’t much for sweets, but you like salt and sour.”

“I’ve never eaten anything like this.”

“Well I’ll file that one down for a repeat performance some time then.”

“From where do you get your culinary expertise? Your conversations regarding food always run from revolting to horrific, yet everything you’ve ever made for me to eat is genuinely… good. Exceptionally so.”

“Farmers, Moondust. You live with farmers, you learn how to make a lot of good food, how to preserve it, how to make stuff taste good. Plus, do anything for a few hundred years and you get good at it. I’ve had a long time to get good at it. And, you know, starving to death repeatedly does tend to give a person a healthy appreciation for food in all its forms. I like food. I like making it for you. I like surprising ya with things you didn’t know you’d like.”

“You always do. Do farmers do that as well?”

“Figuring out what else you’d like? Nah, that’s a bartending skill if there ever was one. Not much of a stretch to shift from drinks to dinner. Most of it’s just payin’ attention, if we’re bein’ honest. You don’t like stuff with a lot of sugar. You find it false and trite. Candy, especially. To you, candy is just… lies in your mouth.”

“I have never told you that. How do you know this?”

“I mean, I’m tempted to tell you it’s magic and feel you silently scream through the radio and want to stab me with that fork I left you, but the truth is even stranger. I sometimes play mahjong with Eva Levante.”

“You what?”

“Yeah. Don’t ever tell her I said this, but that sweet old keeper of festivals and traditions is one of the few people I’ve met who’s better than me. At mahjong, anyway.”

“Really.”

“Really.”

“Your social aptitude and ability to make connections with people is inversely proportional to your focus on detachment and insistence you trust no one, except for me, and sometimes the Guardian.”

“Yeah, I have a lot of friends for a guy who has no friends. I know. That’s different though, and it’s also changed, cuz of you. But even before that, best way to keep an eye on your enemies is to be friendly with ‘em. Best way to avoid getting shot is to talk your way out of it. And I’ve talked my way out of getting shot way more times than I could possibly remember at this point.”

“And how many people have you shot who were trying to talk their way out of it?”

“Well, usually if we’re talking we can work something out. Not always, though. I told you how I gunned down my own crew after drinks once.”

“You also told me why. They deserved it.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t any better. Thinking about how I am today compared to how I was then…”

“Comparing the past to the present is futile at best, and more than often, cruel… to yourself as well as others. You survived. You would not have otherwise. You smelled blood and betrayal plainly upon their hands as they lied to your face. You reacted in vengeance and exacted vengeance. Decisively. Without restraint. ”

“Yeah. It was like that.”

“If there is anyone who can understand your reasoning keenly, crisply, in its concentrated form, it is I. Do not despise yourself for who you were. Were you a monster? Was what you did monstrous? Yes. You were. It was. But it was also necessary.”

“Yeah. It was. That crew were some of the nastiest pack of assholes I’ve ever run with. Stone cold killers, the lot of us. Vicious. Effective. That was a 'do unto others before they do unto you' sorta situation. Weird bit of what you’d call resonance though. When I killed them. I called them rats. Told them this is what we do to rats. And that’s the name you sometimes call me now.”

“I- I’m sorry. I did not realize…”

“No no no, that’s not why I’m telling you this. You gave me an out pretty early on and I didn’t take it. I still don’t, Moondust. I didn’t really like it when you started but, what’s that saying? It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. I don’t ever want you to stop calling me something you put so much affection into like that. You know there was that one time you left me a message when I was galavantin' off on the Reef with Mithrax and Spider? Where you said you might want something more than peace?”

“I remember it.”

“The way you said goodbye… you said ‘Take care, Rat’ and I swear my heart flew right up into my mouth and choked me. I couldn’t breathe. It was a good thing I was sitting when I first heard it cuz it cut me off at the knees, Moondust. All I could think of was how since that time you walked onto the Derelict while I was packin’ to leave, where you asked me to teach you about the darkness, where you’d told me not to ignore you and I’d first seen just how intense you really were… how hard and completely and painfully you loved the ones you loved… all I’d been able to think of was ‘I ain’t never been loved with that level of ferocity and sharpness and sheer power. Damn, I wanna be loved like that. That’s the sort of love that’s actually worth dying over.’ And then, when you called me Rat at the end of that message, I felt it. I felt it in your voice: a sliver of that love I wanted so bad. And I just… I couldn’t move. Your little voice message left me frozen in my chair for a couple hours and I just played it and replayed it over and over. Couldn’t do nothing else. And I been chasing your love ever since, desperate to just have you want me like that.”

[SILENCE 1.75 MINUTES]

“I do.”

“You do what.”

“Want you. Like that.”

“And it is still taking my breath away, Moondust, even now… so uh… don’t stop calling me that, ok?”

“Very well, Rat.”

“Ha. You can’t see it, but you literally just sent shivers up my spine. I am not bluffing. This is some serious drunk on love bullshit going on right here and I am all for it. I just wish you were here, or I was there, or something, so you could actually feel and see what it is you do to me.”

“Soon. I do not know how much longer, but we are making progress. And I will be able to return to you soon. And I shall. Trust.”

“Oh, I’m counting on it, but in the meantime, we gotta keep you fed on something more than nasty rations. If I sneak over and leave you dinner again tomorrow, you still gonna eat it?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now to figure out how to top that pasta salad.”

“You do not need to impress me.”

“Oh but I do. I absolutely do. And I will. You’ll see.”

“Hmmm…”

“Hmmm indeed. Goodnight, you beautiful badass witch.”

“Goodnight, Rat.”

[END TRANSCRIPT]

This is one of a series of stories written during Season of the Witch that I called Kept Conficence, after the hand cannon with the lore that helped to inspire them.

Here is a link to all of them in order if you wish.

[alarrytale]

Hello Marte! It´s the anon who brought the tea talk. Thank you for understanding me, of course I didn´t mixed up his redbullvodka//beer with tea lol - like who would put hot tea into transparent plastic cup made for cold drinks anyway haha? In front of his mic stand were bottle of water and his alcoholic drink and in the back near drums was his tea cup. I was watching livestream (where I noticed he was couching) and later checked one (quite popular on IG) larrie who was there in person and she wrote that he was mixing those drinks and even posted a video where Louis took a sip from his plastic cup and then went to drums to take a sip of his tea. I am also amused how the discussions turned to the way how Louis tans haha! Since we know H has no problem with nudity at home (hope I remember it correctly like someone said it and it´s not only a fans made headcanon) and Louis said himself that he sleeps naked, my headcanon is that they tan naked in their garden. Or have you seen what H done with his swim trunks in Italy last year when famously premiered everyone his O tattoo (eew)? That´s also a way how they both might tan. But neither of them have tan lines so... Btw have you read that famous fic Escapade? I am reading it now finally and oh my oh my, it´s so damn sexy and I am still at the beginning. It caught me so much that I seriously considering taking a day off at work to spend whole day reading it lol. And last thing, rumour said that H was spotted in Manchester. Niall has a show there tonight in that "famous" arena that H is an investor (or maybe he co-owns it, idk now). What if H will be Niall´s special guest tonight? Like it will make so much sense and it will bring some good attention to that arena since it has been very problematic but also to H as well. I am manifesting because I need to see them together and I need solo harries fumming that H supported his brother and the captain of the larry ship.

Hi, anon!

No worries, i got you! I love that you think H and L are nude tanning at home!

And of course (i golf, i fuck old men for a living) i've read Escapade! Enjoy it, it's a good one!

Unpopular opinion maybe, but i don't want any of the 1D guys to appear on stage together if it's just two of them. All or none for me, thanks! I wouldn't mind H being there to watch and support him though. That would be nice!

[just-eyris-things]

Story time: A few days ago I decided not to kill my dad with a bow and arrow and as a result I lost my arrow somewhere in the bushes on my neighbour's lawn (definitely not a clickbait, nope, not at all!)

Basically my family and I were relaxing at my parents' cabin in the woods and I got myself a spot to train archery. Everything was nice and cool and dandy on that hot summer day. But then my dad had to do something around my "shooting range" so I had to stop. Perfect time to drink some water, give my arms a very much needed break. Did I do that, though? No. Of course not.

Now listen, I have been training for around a month. I felt good, I felt confident, I felt amazing. Not confident enough to shoot at my dad though. So I turned the other way and targetted a tree.

I missed.

I said "o kurwa". Like any normal polish person would do when their possibly deadly projectile misses and goes above the fence and through the bushes.

Needless to say, nobody was having fun. I cried internally because that meant I had to go to complete strangers and tell them I lost my arrow at their property. But I was already an adult and couldn't show weakness in front of my family. I couldn't say "mom can you go with me to the neighbours' and ask if I could go and look for my arrow?". I had to face my shame for not being a Robin Hood after a month of shooting.

Well, in typical Polish fashion the neighbours had a tall fence that I could not get over and everything was locked. There was no doorbell but come on, who would have a doorbell when they're on vacation at a cabin in the woods? Oh woe is me I cry internally because 1. I am a drama queen. I cry and complain all the time. The latter is in my blood though, after all I am polish. The former... in my case: a figure of speech, really. And 2. the last thing I want is my family and other neighbours think less of me because of my fear of being berated for my shitty archery skills and overconfidence. I have a horrible social anxiety. And yet it did not stop me from somehow enjoying a job where I am working with big groups of people on a daily basis???? My brain is an enigma. Both to my therapist AND me.

ANYWAY FASTFORWARD TO FRIDAY, my parents happened to meet one of the neighbours during my absence and informed him that an arrow was lost but the guy did not invite them to look for it. I felt ashamed. I don't even know why because there really is no point in crying over spilled milk, but I did.

And today when I was shooting, a neighbour came up and found the arrow and gave it back, he laughed it off and told me not to worry after I apologised for the trouble.

To conclude: I did not kill my dad with an arrow, felt shame and fear over a lost arrow, the lost arrow was returned to me and I feel good again.

Also, I saw a woodpecker and a really pretty tricolor cat today.

[candiid-caniine]

It's me, I'm shy anon 🤍 :D

94

awww hi shy anon <3 proud of u for submitting an ask1!!

94. Any funny sex stories?

oughh,, so >.>

multiple times i've had a nosebleed during sex. usually during days-long marathons ahahah,, because uh. i forget to drink water. so i appreciate u anons who remind me to drink water!!! i know it can feel cliche or whatever but it is genuinely helpful and ily <3

once uh. my mom called while i was in full doggy position. and i was uh. still a 19-year-old rebelliously having sex with an atheist, back when the parents were in peak overprotective mode (things are a lot better dw lol, we've all grown up a bit!). so...i answered bc not answering meant big deal. yes, we stopped while i was on the phone...yes, we finished after anyway :)

and perhaps my favorite one: i was giving my owner a blowjob for the first time. we had pulled the dresser in front of the door because you know. college. dorm. roommate. his roommate, i love the guy, we're still good friends, but he's a bit clueless at times and rattled the door really loud and my owner yelled in this really strained, clearly-getting-head voice, "o-occupied!!" and came, at that very moment, into my mouth.

in a hushed voice, i hissed at them that they "needed to eat some pineapple" because oough. the taste was. actually what semen normally tastes like but first time ahashash,,, and so we did the walk of shame. red-faced, giggling, and hastily dressed, we raced outside bc we couldn't look poor Derek in the face, but, in a fit of sex-high hormones, i said, deadpan, "sorry for the wait. we were folding the bedsheets."

since then folding the bedsheets has been our code for giving head askjdhsfhas. we are lucky to have a friend like Derek, who i don't think it ever crossed his mind that we were fully smashing dicks when he came in. i said we were folding bedsheets. he said, "iss cool!"

i also accidentally flashed Derek my boob once bc i hastily hid under the bedsheets when he walked in. and. i don't think he noticed. he just kept infodumping about net security. i love Derek. he's a real one.

[sardonic-sprite]

I'm Back!

Wow, so Lent is over now, so my tumblr fast is also over and I'm still a little in shock, lol. I had hoped the past six weeks? I don't know, Time is weird, would be more productive but at least I got SOME stuff written/posted. Anyway, I have one more month of school and then fucking FINALS so expect sporadic updates at idiot-o-clock hours of the night, and maybe yell at me to sleep, eat, study, or drink water whenever i do post 😅

I am up to SO EFFING MANY wips rn on so many different fronts you guys have no freaking idea 😭 so here's a status report for EVERYTHING on or going on sardonic_sprite. (Its gonna be a monster post, y'all, bear with me)

in absolutely no particular order:

Wayne4Ham: We have a LONG way to go with this one, so just be patient and I'll slowly but steadily plug on through. Aaron Burr, Sir, should theoretically take me no longer than end of april

Wayne-Crazy: there's like 4 specific requests on it, plus a few 'series' i started, but after those, say 6-7, i'll probably mark as complete and only re-open if someone offers me an idea

Batman Beginners: i'll tell y'all up front, this one will take me forever. i don't even know what all I intend to cover, but know that i'm halfway done with the DITF arc, and it'll probably come out in the next two months

Just A Kid: this was my shits-and-giggles fic that got like 3000 notes in a weekend lmao. it's something i do intend to continue bc its so fun and i enjoy the concepts in it, but i don't have plans to actively write more of it in the immediate future.

Rev Wayne: just gave y'all Jason's fic, so the next probably won't come until late in summer, extrapolating from my few data points. if anyone has ideas for timmy's intro, let me know, i'd love some inspiration

Celeb Batwaynes: reported separate from wayne-crazy for reasons. i think theres like 12 specific requests plus 2 ideas of my own. i may put out a poll for the next one to write, but not until after school's out, because these fics are HUGE time-eaters for me. speaking of, are non-tumblr-users able to vote on polls?

Welcome to Gotham U: this was again, me doing shit bc why not. will probably add more in the style that i first posted, but i doubt i will write any prose for it. if you would like to give it a try, please reach out, i'd love to see what you write!

One Diamond: every time i touch this i make the cliffhanger worse lmao. i finally do have a direction, but execution is gonna have to wait a while.

The Young, Innocent, and Righteous: this is mostly just for me anyway, but i'm just gonna say that i'm waiting until i finish watching miraculous season 5 before i go any further

AS you wish: i have 5 more requests to do and i am so sorry to everyone waiting you do not deserve this lmao. i promise im trying, i love your ideas, it just takes me a really long time to fill in the rest and then actually write it. the next one on my list is particularly hard to pin down and so it's halting the ones behind it to. if not before, then after finals i will sit and bang my head on the keyboard until something good comes out

Light Isn't Fadin': soooooo many people have asked me about this one oof. SOMEDAY, i swear. right now its a huge, nebulous, hulking monster and im sorry it's just not happening yet.

A christmas carol: wait until december. please

Father's Day: june.

A Little Problem: over the summer, i will watch marvel movies until they once again hijack my brain and fuel this to completion. maybe.

easter eggs: how the fuck did i forget this lmao. i'm doing as much as i can in april, but when the month is done, i'm sorry, we'll all be waiting until next lenten season. hopefully it won't come to that.

aaaaand i THINK that's finally it. there's also a bunch of random paragraphs in word and google docs that may appear, not to mention ideas that kidnap me in dark alleys. but i also have like a good half dozen other wips for other places that im trying to attend to, so please be forgiving if it seems like its taking a while to post something as sprite.

as always, i love questions, comments, concerns, even some complaints, so feel free to interact.

See ya when I see ya!

sprite

[hekate1308]

There Was Winter’s Cold A Destiel Advent Calendar December 8

Masterpost

Now, the first few days were pretty much the calm before the storm, mostly because no one who was going to be upset about it knew that Dean had invited Cas into his home. Cas wanted to stay in anyway, which was probably for the best lest he do some water magic while he was outside, so dean could just go to work and come home and then they’d spend the evening together. He just had a house guest, that was all.

Only it was a house guest who also happen to have water magic, and who belonged in the river, and that was something Dean certainly had no experience with, nor did he think anyone else did.

But still – in many ways, it was sort of having your usual friend over, yes, so Cas didn’t know pop culture and he sometimes forgot to blink, but all in all, it was nice to come home to someone.

And he was easy on the eyes, Dean would admit that, not that he should, but hey, there was no law against looking…

So, he did what he did best and just dealt with everything that was at hand, while also… well…

It had taken him no time at all to figure out that, if he wanted anyone’s help in this, he wanted Crowley’s. Guy was a walking encyclopedia anyway, and whenever there was something crazy going on…

He just had to be careful not to mention it to Sam, and all would be well.

Crowley being Crowley, he immediately said yes when Dean invited him out for a drink, just like he then proceeded to nurse said drink (Craig. In all this time, he had yet to watch him order anything else) while he explained what was going on.

And then, in typical Crowley fashion, he put his glass down and said, “I hadn’t heard anything about water wraiths in ages… assumed they had all moved on by now.”

See? Where else was he going to get this reaction? That was why he kept him around. Well, that and some other things, but Sam didn’t need to know about those, either. “Yeah, but the thing is, I have no idea what to do.”

“What do you mean? They can survive outside of the water. And the way you tell it, you already keep him well-fed and clothed, so…”

“That’s hardly enough though, is it. Guy was just thrown out into the streets by his next of kin, by those who should have looked after him…” he realized hat eh was saying only when Crowley studied him with a gaze that, while full of interest, was thankfully devoid of pity because this was Crowley they we talking about, and again, this was why he kept him around. “Alright. So I am invested. And I just want him to be able to return home.”

“What if you can’t? Sounds to me like he was exiled, probably unwarranted, I grant you that most creatures are rather mercurial in the stories…”

“There has to be a way, there is always a way.”

”Just because you refuse to give up doesn’t mean you can magically make everything better.”

“It’s not about giving up or not, it’s about working with what we have. The power of water that he has… certainly he could try and sneak back in?”

“To the people who threw him out? What would he want to do that for?

Dean struggled to find an answer.

In the end, he could come up with nothing but they are his family. Which he should know best was not the best reason, not when it came to some families. He had loved Dad, yes, he had, but what he had put them through…

“Well, it’s where he belongs.”

“If you say so, Squirrel. But what makes you think I can help?”

He just looked at him.

“Fine, I’ll see if I can find some information. Just be careful in the meantime.”

And that was what Sam would never understand – Crowley actually meant that. Yeah, he sounded about as sincere as Brutus right before he stabbed Cesar, but he still meant it.

Had to respect the guy for it, really.

Good. Now at least he had the chance of getting… anything eventually.

Cas was puttering around his place, but that was nothing unusual. The guy was pretty much fascinated by everything that wasn’t wet, and so he liked to see and touch and experience everything, which was one of the other reasons Dean preferred that he stay indoors for the time being.

“Hey” he turned around with that half-smile of his that always made his heart skip a beat. “Hello, Dean.”

“You up for burgers? Got a craving.”

He looked at him, then nodded, still smiling, and Dean escaped to the kitchen.

It was easier than dealing with certain things.

Much easier. 

[feuqueerfire]

I Will Knock You Live Blogging

I'm really excited for this one, I love the idea of the younger guy pretending to be all tough and gangster with inspiration from old TV mafia bosses or whatever lol. I don't know how there's a story worth 12 episodes but I'm hoping I'll be delighted to find out. The visuals and bright colours look interesting too.

I also just finished Triage which was very good and well-made and had more of a focus on the plot than the romance, so maybe this will be a good change of pace.

Ep 1 (May 5)

he takes this so seriously, it's very endearing

getting the gang for moral support while he asks out his crush lol

this show is so silly and fun already, i'm kinda giggling out loud

Noey believes in destiny and only listens to the song "Destiny"

hey, be nice to the restaurant uncle! >:(

also pls how does the uncle have interest with these kids? How are they lending anybody money, you're high schoolers lol

going to get the meat his mother told him to buy :)

forced to be in close quarters on the bus lol

Noey used ter with his crush but he also uses it with Thi

omg not "You got my heart. I came here to ask you nicely to give it back" already, though it's likely about the lotus he stepped on and took away

I searched "lotus before bloom" and saw the worst photo ever, made my skin crawl and I started understanding trypophobia. made my skin crawl and kinda made me wanna throw up

kabadon

save from falling only to drop him anyway

a day to find and return the lotus

damn, this lotus is very intact, he's not even gonna tear off most of the petals?

not Noey getting some random kid to bring his crush to a designated spot so he can serenade her. let her live!

there's even a dance from the whole group accompanying it, delightful tbh

no just be like aw :( she doesn't like me :( how sad, it's okay though i will seek joy else. not "i won't give up"

Seriously, that lotus wouldn't fool anybody

kabadon 2

Noey likes the cute charm on Thi's bag, aw. nvm it's probably some religious symbol/helps with business and so his mother might want it? still cute of him to notice it and inquire

does he take it?

ah lol it's a Soulmate/love charm

heh, Noey indeed did take it and now Thi's mother's asking him if he's met his soulmate lol

oh silly Thi, thinking you can already say goodbye to Noey

user heretherebedork mentioned how Ep 1 is full of symbolism of them exchanging hearts/souls... or, specifically, with Thi stepping on Noey's heart and then giving him the soulmate charm.exchanging hearts/souls

Ep 2 (May 6)

Thi: junior in uni, high school tutor

last ep kind of focused on Noey (or rather the narration was from one of Neoy's gang members lol) but this one Thi's doing his own voiceover

I get some whining but come onnnnn, either be stronger in your conviction to not go or suck it up after a while

I must not use my brain while watching this show for real because now I'm like ?? Why didn't you get your iPad during the hours you were waiting?

last ep, I noticed that when Thi was looking for the lotus at night and Noey was supervising with the umbrella, Noey was in all blue while Thi was wearing red but this time their colours changed?

Damn, Thi managed to not properly show Noey his face or what?

disgusting looking water rip for them having to film in that

lol Noey thinks Thi's following him around on purpose

pls shallow ass water

the view and trail to the restaurant really is quite pretty

Noey means butter?

ah indeed it's Noey's mother's restaurant, I wasn't sure

and Thi indeed was into the girl who served the drink lol

not the girl/Noey's sister just roasting Thi's nerdiness and naivete

lol, Thi's friend a real one for talking up his tutoring to Aunt Tim

Noey confused at Thi's fainting

forehead kiss

Noey really living in romance dreamland

gangster Noey fr

Something hilarious about how Noey's confidence that Thi likes him, like him giving a forehead kiss as reward and talking about "giving in" just for the night

Thi coming to O's rescue in ep 1 (and somewhat succeeding) and to Noey's rescue in ep 2 (and not ending up helping but y'know it's the thought that counts)

Ep 3 (May 6)

lmao kindhearted Noey giving Thi a chance to win his heart

crazy that Thi still hasn't uttered the words "I don't like you romantically"

not the housewife mention

Why is Thi smiling like he's into it lmfao maybe I'm the silly one and Noey's correct that Thi's already fallen for him

pls what did Thi drink from the monk's donations? pop?

Noey calls Thi Jarunee. I'd seen a post when this was airing that Noey calls Thi by names of famous' gangsters' wives/gfs?

Noey's apparently not gonna be nice like last night

ah, the gangster lackeys call Noey Phi

pls not another girl wanting to photos with Noey cuz she finds him scary but likes him still

girl, Noey's a menace, what's with this notoriety lol but how much of it is true? like pls the jail and gun stuff

aww Noay and Nid Nhoi brother-sister bonding moment

girl, Thi, please, not you now believing the rumours about Noey and so taking a wooden weapon to face him

this is so humiliating for Thi i'm gonna bury myself

Noey's main lackey manager guy is so funny and useless

damn, Thi can eat Noey's shitty/salty cooking

The foot that Noey meant to give to his crush Pam now being eaten by Thi

damn, they fr left at like 9pm and left Thi to sleep on the roof the whole night lol

literal menace Noey, being stuck on the rooftop was a grift?!

I now love this song Destiny, it's so memorable

Third person Thi was trying to protect: Nid Nhoi. Although this time he miscalculated even more than the previous 2 times. He's really unable to read the room/understand what's going on sometimes and it's funny still because we're on ep 3 but is gonna become real old if it keeps continuing on for 9 more eps.

Ep 4 (May 7)

learning about Pam? girl...

bucket hat to a new level, pot helmet

Wanlapa and Jamnien

not Noey teaching Thi to fight lol

lmfao 1 punch and running away, alright

2nd time Noey wanted to feed Thi lol it's really just his own desire

Noey's never gonna get tutored

Noey's goal to get better at cooking

damn, 4 eps in and finally we get some attempt at tutoring in the last 10 mins

Reddit post about Noey calling Thi old-time female names

I... wonder if this sort of low-plot, mostly chill, meandering show is maybe not what I'm fully in the mood for? Like I enjoy watching the show and I'm usually giggling and having fun while watching but also I feel little urge to pick up the next episode.

I am somewhat tempted to pick up Only Friends as well and alternate like 1 ep of Only Friends and 1 ep of I Will Knock You but I don't know if that'd actually work, and I've also got 23.5 which is another low-stakes, sweet high school romance that I'm already an episode behind on. Would I end up just watching Only Friends while ignoring I Will Knock You? Or should I try it just to see what happens and we're early enough in the month that I'll likely be able to finish all 3 of 23.5, I Will Knock You, and Only Friends if I'm in the middle of all 3 but 1 or 2 falls to the wayside until I finish another.

hmm... okay, I will next pick up Only Friends but maybe I'll try to limit that to 1 ep a day + the 2 podcasts I listen to that did ep-by-ep recaps and try to fit in 1 I Will Knock You ep a day as well.

Ep 5 (May 14)

Well... I'm here a week later because I ended up binging all of Only Friends and taking a 1-day break as well. I think I was just more in the mood for that kind of drama and addictive sort of storyline rather than the chill school shows like 23.5 and I Will Knock You. I have however returned to this and plan to watch hopefully all the remaining episodes or at least 4 more episodes till ep 8 before starting another possibly high-action/high drama series.

FOUR TIMES TABLES?! 10th grader? Noey's like 15-16 years old at least, right?

Noey's relentless certainty of Thi's crush on him lol

why does this whole endeavor feel fake

lol indeed it's some sort of set up and they're just eating ice cream

I was wanting vanilla ice cream in a cup to eat with a little wooden non-spoon just like as a kid but apparently, it's coconut ice cream and i want it even more now

pls I feel like I would've already decked Noey by now if he kept egging me on as if I liked him. If anything, so far, Noey has started falling for Thi lol

lol serves him right to have everybody ring his pockets dry with the ice cream

Is that the Bas gang also eating ice cream?

Is the helmet stolen or did Noey prepare it for Thi?

pls Noey wanting to go to Thi's room

and his whiny/mocking laughs lol teenager indeed

is he just throwing the seeds anywhere on the floor?!

Ai'Noey, which is seen as rude

also does the fish have some sort of resemblance to Noey's bang? he signaled the bang when he said "Are you making fun of me?" and then made Thi get his hair style

lol was Noey just looking at Thi's notes when answering

Thi Watphlu?

Ep 6 (May 14)

extremely serious silly dancing

what are they collecting?

taking shoes from the temple alksdfjalsdf for some reason Thi's banned from buying new sandals but "borrowing" them and returning a new pair later is... fine?

This show is so slow, it's kinda hard to binge since it's also not... explicitly romantic? Like the fun part about the show is how bizarre it is and the funny situations but I'm in the mood for some plot.

I watched 2 eps instead of 4 but I think I'll give Kiseki: Dear To Me a try now instead lol

Ep 7 (May 24)

I'm back 10 days later and this time, I must finish!

They were actually so cute and now Noey bringing up Pam again, c'mon kid.

Thi orchestrating Noey flirting with him to practice flirting with Pam, bruh

yaas lol Thi as Noey and Noey as Pam in the imagination

giggly Noey

man, they're being too cute and friendly while trying to help Noey to flirt with a different person, I hope they start liking each other (or realizing it) soon

...does Noey know? that he likes Thi? why is it seeming like the flowers are for Thi bruh

hah, Nid Nhoi being like is there something going on between you and Thi?

ahhhh Noey doing his homework so that Thi can be proud of himmmm

omg yay Noey being like shall I hit on you (Thi) instead?

I really liked this episode and it's not even that it's better than the other episodes necessarily, I think I'm just receptive to high school cutesy storyline again after wanting something darker or more dramatic for the last few weeks. which is great, it's way more enjoyable to watch a show while in the mood for it.

Ep 8 (May 28)

Was busy this weekend but I'm finally back again

fun how forward Noey is to both his friends and Thi about him flirting with Thi

Thi dragging his friends around to help Noey with his motorcycle, aw

a different guy showing interest in Thi?

girl, Thi's friends are gonna know what's up

Noey's so mean to Thi in front of Thi's friends >:(

ah, Noey's cooking only edible to Thi, who enjoys it a lot

Ep 9 (May 29)

you just called me (phi) and idiot? yes. oh, okay. lmfaooo

this tiny child lolll

Noey declaring his intentions to make Thi his bf in front of everyone

[Linguistics] ik Noey said he doesn't even consider Thi his Phi but he's been referring to him as Phi these last few minutes. Has he always done that and I never noticed or is it new?

Ep 10 (May 30)

nooo Noey did bad in class despite trying

ahh, the movie that shaped Noey

this shot is so similar to the BD films that take place in the village ahh on a boat in a pond full of water lilies <3

talking about the FL going abroad but this time I think Noey's the one who goes abroad

why are we competing to ride the ferris wheel with Thi, is he a prize?

oh damnn dramatic fight, and Nid Nhoi and Auntie Tim getting caught in the crossfires

Ep 11 (May 30)

It's not good how I just want this show to be over already because it's not that I dislike it or that it's bad, I'm literally just... in the mood for something different.

aww, Noey and Thiw friendship T.T

Thi's parents immediately realizing what's going on and disapproving

I wish these conflicts were happening since earlier on in the show because a lot of the earlier eps were repetitive in their 'Thi is scared of Noey' cycles.

Aw, Noey's not giving up. and like to see Thi being into Noey's plans lol

[Linguistics] Noey often calls Thi P'Thi but also is currently using just Thi in this convo

did Noey's cooking improve or do Thi's parents also just love Noey's terrible cooking? both are cute

girl why is Phayu still here and why doesn't Thi tell him no straight up

2 seconds of lesbians and I smile, imagine what'd happen if they even gave us 20 minutes. oh this makes me realize there's no second couple and I think this show could've actually benefited from a 2nd couple story tbh (though at least the family story's there but there isn't too many scenes with just Noey and family members)

? girl, "I'm gonna flirt with the real Pam now?" is this Noey trying to break Thi's heart to get him to not miss him or whatever? we should kill him

not the ending credits dancing scene being only Thi by himself D:

Ep 12 (May 31)

finallyyyy last ep, goddamn I just wanna be done bro

noble idiocy is dumb af every time but especially this time because they already discussed LDR!!

gorgeous scenery

Noey and Thiw :')

but is the gang back to being troublemakers? i liked them being nerds

ahhh Thi was with Thiw that night, not watching a movieeee

and Thi's fuckass father made Noey say that ?!

hehe the soulmate charm secret is out

They're really quite cute and charming together heh

okay, so the timeskip was just finishing 12th grade and getting into uni i guess? Idk why I was under the impression that Noey would go abroad from the spoilers but it's just Thi's Chiang Mai studies

aw, online pair dancing

Nid Nhoi's competing restaurant to her mother, I'm dead lmfao this family

literal 1 second of lesbians

i'm ignoring the marriage mention and still kiss because it's the thought that counts

aw, original lotus

I became less mad about the noble idiocy because if a 17-year-old is told this by the parents of their bf + believes themself to not have any future, I can believe that they'd indeed break up.

Overall:

Noey is such a unique character, it was a pleasure to see him on screen.

I really like the familial dynamics between Noey, Nid Nhoi, and Auntie Tim/their mother. It was fun and they were always teasing each other but obviously there was love and concern beneath it. And the gang was great too, how they obeyed Noey and were a bunch of goofballs but obviously the fighting was less than ideal.

I realized toward the end that this show should've had maybe a second couple which maybe had a faster or more intense relationship while we were slowly, slowly, slowly inching toward the Noey and Thi romance lol

I wasn't obsessively watching the next episode but I was usually smiling while watching the episode. I think it was half me not being in the mood for a cute high school romance where nothing much happens and half on the show for dragging out the Noey and Thi stuff for so long in the first half, like the tutoring didn't even start until 1/3 of the way into the show.

It should be a 5.5/10 because of how much I dragged my feet while watching but I'm giving it a bonus 0.5 because of the great cinematography and also because me barely watching was more due to me than the show itself.

Rating: 6/10

[howaboutcastiel-personal]

Things that aren’t unbearable:

Brushing teeth

Shower

Read

Things that are:

Eat food

Drink things

Prepare the food

Have company

Washing hair

Brushing hair

Having dirty hair

Having knotted hair

Getting dressed

Being un dressed

Applying for jobs

Getting yelled at

Existing in this space

Everything is way too loud and I don’t want to spend time with the dog anymore unless he’s asleep and I’m asleep. Sleep forever would be better I guess. It’s back down to nothing good because Ryder is gone and Jerry is gone and I can’t go back to school and the meds are not working and my dad is mad at me because the meds are not working. And my mom is loud and I hate her laugh and her voice and everything she says and why am I so surrounded by crazy and hate and angry and crazy.

I laid in bed and read all day. A 90k word fic that was frankly fucked up but also beautiful and meaningful and I’m gonna kill my self. I’m gonna kill myself and no one is going to miss me. But it will give them an excuse to be angry at least and my mom will feel sorry for herself and they’ll say I’m in hell and it will be my own fault

Because she’s a narcissist and dad is spoiled and selfish and angry and Ethan is a sociopath who likes Andrew Tate and is obsessed with guns. And wanting to be alive feels less and less attainable every day but the drugs keep me from killing myself and I won’t stop taking them. I don’t know if she will miss me but I know she will tell everyone else that she is miserable. She will post about it on Facebook. Her Facebook friends will know I’m dead before I do. Just like everything else and god why wouldn’t I want to fucking die

It’s not like the planet is dying. Or wages are unlivable or rent is impossible or food is expensive and it’s not like my body is worth anything to anyone or that it even belongs to me in the first place

Everyone is mad and loud and angry and I am scared of everything and I want to stop being scared but I also can’t focus. Like I’m not really here anyway and I wish I wasn’t here. I wish I was all the way not here and if I was nobody would care and I don’t want to be helpful anymore. I want the rest of the world to die with me because it’s dying anyway and I’m not gonna help stop it. I’ve lost my ability to be something that people need. I’m not something that helps people and I can’t think anymore and all I feel is some kind of pain or tired so much that getting out of bed feels like torture from demons

Why the fuck does this haippend to everyone. Everyone has a narcissistic mom and a dad with anger problems and a fuck up brother that is somehow still the kid that they’re most proud of. And mean racist drunk grandparents and religious guilt and they don’t find getting out of bed unbearable so why can’t I do it anymore when o could do it fine before ?

I want my body to go away. I want to be skinny and buff and butch and I want to be good to my skin and eat right and I want to be pretty in the guy way. I want to be the furthest thing from the soft terrified fat thing I am that is argumentative with no bite or strength. I want to stop eating and never have to drink water again and I want to be able to get out of bed and feel alright

I don’t know what to do

[cocoabeean]

crumb haters keep that 2 urself that shit is embarrassing

[base0h]

Hiii :D

Wanna req some modern au Kid, Mihawk and Shanks with a s/o who always manages to zone out at the worst time possible, (like they're driving and stopped at a red light, not realizing that what seemed a moment later the light turned green and everyone is beeping at them or they're being late, smth distracts them and they literally just freeze in place lost in the most off topic thoughts ever) hcs or scenario, all's good with me gosh I zone out way too much

Gosh sorry for the long ask and since I'm here I just might remind you to go drink some water and take care of yourself, cuz we need ya and your hilarious writings here, to brighten up our days yk? ( ˙꒳​˙ )

love ya <3

a/n - ERROR HOW HAVE I BEEN LAUGHING FOR A SOLID TEN MINUTES AT THIS ASK SUEBDHBDHDBD 😭😭😭😭 awww I’m so glad that I can brighten up your guys’ days that really brightens mine 🥺💜💜

Warnings ⚠️ - cracky, g/n reader, modern au, shanks doesn’t have an arm (let’s just say it got bitten off by a shark because he thought drinking beer while surfing was a brilliant idea)

- watch him ban you from driving 💀

- last time you decided to drive to a coffee shop was the last straw for the poor man

- “Y/n please keep your eyes on the road.”

- *minute passes, now it’s a green light*

- he’s looking at a newspaper while people behind you guys are honking

- you had taken sight of a beautiful monarch butterfly, cruising around just outside your window

- you didn’t even realize the light had turned green

- Mihawk was about to get out of the car and go punch some people for honking but then he realized the light had been green for minutes, and you two were holding up the biggest line of cars he’d ever seen

- “Y/n! It’s green-!”

- He undid his seatbelt and climbed into the seat with you, hitting his head on the ceiling while simultaneously giving himself a bad back

- he pressed the gas while you stared at the butterfly, and you snapped out of it when you realized the car was moving, and Mihawk’s huge ass was right in front of your face

- “Mihawk what are you doing-“

- he sighed and kept driving forward until the light from before turned red right as he started going

- Cars from the right were about to crash into you too when you started screaming at him to go faster

- “MIHAWK GO GO GO GO GO-!”

- “THIS DAMN CAR WONT GO ANY FASTER! GET ON MY LEFT SIDE!”

- he was saying that to protect you, so that he would take most of the damage if you both were hit

- Luckily, you two made it to the next intersection just before getting hit, and there was a long silence in the car on the way home

- “… you’re banned from driving.”

- “BUT-“ “I don’t want to hear it.”

- “thank you for protecting me, don’t pretend like you didn’t do that 😏”

- “😐😑😐”

- he ignored you for about an hour after that (he wasn’t mad, just terrified)

- shanks is a horrible driver himself, so he gets it! He’s usually drunk while driving anyways!

- zoning out is totally fine because usually he’ll just stare at you and think about how beautiful/handsome you are 🥰

- today you both were driving to a movie, you had gotten a nice cup of coffee just before as well :)

- shanks was staring at his phone, struggling to figure out where the fuck he put the tickets

- you saw the most awesome skateboarder who was doing tricks along the sidewalk, and you managed to turn sharp left, almost straight into the sidewalk

- shanks immediately grabbed the wheel with his arm and swerved back, but the absolute boiling hot coffee cup was slipping through your grip

- poor shanks saw that and was starting to panic

- “Baby i only got ONE ARM-“

- the hot coffee spilled all over his lap and this idiot started screaming at the top of his lungs

- “BABE MY BALLS ARE GOING TO MELT WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS IT SO HOT?”

- bigass man baby woke you up and you started driving normally again, apologizing to your almost crying boyfriend for zoning out

- “My dick hurts.”

- “Please don’t ever say that again.”

- “BUT IT’S TRUE?? IT HURTS LIKE- HELL!”

- “also what were you looking at out there?”

- “some cool skateboarding guy.”

- excuse me-??

- “A guy?..”.

- “THATS WHY YOU BURNED MY COCK OFF BABE?! AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH?!”

- he started shaking your arm and you were literally about to crash, “SHANKS STOP IM GOING TO CRASH!”

- pls he’s a terrible driver just because of the fact that he will literally scream and flip someone off for not using their turn signal

- I imagine him to obey every single driving law except for the one “don’t be a fucking asshole”

- he oftentimes will ask for your help when he’s building stuff, like asking for tools and such

- “babe hand me the wrench.”

- “hammer.”

- “nails.”

- “water.”

- that’s basically what your job is. 💀

- he was welding today, and needed your help to place something at just the right time so he wouldn’t either burn your apartment down or burn his arm off

- “Babe, need it now.”

- you were tuned out completely, and of course at the absolute perfect time 🙂

- “babe.”

- he waved his other hand in front of your face to try and get your attention but that didn’t seem to work

- “Y/N L/N HELLO?!”

- kaboom

- smoke filled the room as you coughed and grabbed the thing you were supposed to hand him

- “Kidd you need this thingy yet??”

- …

- your audacity.

- his sllooooooooow turn of his head

- his face was stained with black smoke, a nail shooting out of his work and hitting him in the forehead as he stared down at you with the most dead expression

- you were dead. so dead.

a/n - not me being a little cheeky shit and giggling at my own writing 💀