candiid-caniine

[candiid-caniine]

on punishment. tw: dom-shaming

so this post is going around on some blogs i follow and i kind of want to discuss it, without adding to a post that has some fair and reasonable points:

in context, the bulk of this post is about training a submissive partner to take on some behaviors, or cease others, and how the author believes praise/rewards are the most effective + ethical way to do this. buuuut this doesn't sit right with me.

there's definitely a need 4 discussion with some subs about how their desires are not punishment-worthy or guilt-worthy. + much to be said about the psychological efficacy of behavioral change methods. i think it's probable that many subs have a negative relationship with punishment for good reasons, and in particular i think the OP here may have personal issues with the topic, which they are fully entitled to.

however, acting as if this is the best practice is, imo, harmful and unacceptable. i'll be addressing the issues i have with it under the cut; if you don't want to see discourse/philosophy, don't click :)

your sub is not your child: "training" is an entirely conscious and mutual decision. the post does mention this, but it also shames doms who are inclined to use punishment as a training method. let me be clear on how i feel here: the efficacy does not matter. you are adults. if you mutually decide punishment is an acceptable way to train, it's your brain.

you know what motivates me the most to change my behavior? being treated like someone who knows what they are doing.

"an adult punished for stealing will learn to steal more effectively." consider that the adult is making the choice to steal regardless, whether out of necessity or due to personal motivation. a sub who wants to be trained is not an adult who doesn't want to be stopped from stealing. both of these points are needlessly infantilizing to the submissive.

"Your submissive is no different from any of those examples." yes the fuck they are. your examples are a dog, a child, and a person the state views as a criminal. if your submissive is "no different" from those examples, you need to examine your shit as an adult and remand yourself to some form of personal growth.

"why would you want to rule through fear." because the fear is fun. lol. alternatively, doms who want to rule through pure, earnest, and unwilling fear are not doms, they're abusers. no matter the level or relationship involved in behavioral training for subs, the end goal is mutual fulfillment. if you don't like what others do in their bedrooms, or their 24/7 dynamics...simply don't participate.

"kill the cop in your head." okay. i already did that--i killed the part of my brain that moralized the things i wanted in my dynamic. i killed the part of my brain that designated punishers as violent, cruel, and unstable and the people who want to be punished as naive, weak, and child-like.

listen. my goal is not to say this person is wrong, or that their feelings towards punishment in a power dynamic or a training dynamic are invalid. they are very much not!! my issue is the dom-shaming and sub-infantilizing rhetorics behind what should be a personal exploration, not a sweeping, moralistic generalization about what consenting adults should do in their relationships.

if punishment in a training dynamic makes you feel unsafe, that's okay. don't do it.

if punishment in a training dynamic makes you feel safe, that's great. do it.

if your partner disrespects your position on either side, or intentionally trains you in a way they know you dislike, they are a bad partner and that is a separate issue.

punishment, for those who choose to utilize it in a training situation, is:

a morally neutral action. it would be immoral if it was done without consent. that is an issue with consent, not punishment.

agreed upon by both parties. see above.

sometimes pleasant: in this case, it may be sexually fulfilling, which makes it more of a soft punishment/"funishment." it becomes either a safe, predictable outcome for bratting, which can promote feelings of trust in the dynamic, or just unpleasant enough that the partner being "trained" prefers not to do it most of the time.

sometimes unpleasant: not sexually gratifying, perhaps, but still a reinforcement of the dynamic. again, a way to promote safety and predictability. your dom isn't slacking. your dom cares about your behavior. your dom's attention is on what you do, good or bad, because they're invested in you.

a way to reclaim feelings of guilt, make them safe, and deconstruct them. i cannot stress this enough. guilt over "bad" behavior (that i as an adult know i am allowed to do, but want to be controlled in) is not always a safe emotion for me to be alone with. as someone with religious trauma, as someone who grew up in a religious, corporal-punishment household, being punished for "bad behavior" is vital to my mental health in a dynamic. it lets me process guilt and shame, however "undeserved," in a safe way with a clear ending. it gives me closure. whether that makes me damaged or not, it also gets me the fuck off, so idc. there's a reason i prefer RACK over SSC these days, and it's because moralized definitions of the word "sane" are rampant.

not your business.

please, please make an effort to stop moralizing over what adults get up to in the bedroom. your dynamic is a personal choice that does not reflect on your moral value. i would normally have no issue with this except that OP is phrasing their opinion as a "guide" or "how-to." here is a list of true things, or affirmations, if you felt as unsettled by this as i did:

what goes on in your head is more important than psych articles.

you are allowed to choose how to motivate yourself to change your behavior.

doms are not controlling, abusive, or bootlickers for enjoying using punishment as a motivator.

subs are not damaged, oppressed, or naive for being motivated by punishment.

it does not mean you need to grow as a person if you want to balance punishment and reward in your dynamic.

mental safety is more important than psychological efficacy.

guilt and shame are things you are allowed to process however you want.

i just really need people to stop pushing dom-shaming narratives under the guise of pop psychology + holistic wellness language, pls and thanks. everyone thinks they're an expert nowadays, but the only expert on your mental and sexual wellbeing is you--and hopefully your partner(s) are willing to develop the same expertise :)

play risk-aware and consensual, my loves!

[candiid-caniine]

so I saw this post once about the idea of putting a tdick pump inside a packer so that the pumped up cock is inside the silicone one + you have to walk around that way, but consider this: tdick pump + Kong toy.

I kept thinking about it the other day while I was playing with mine...smth about it. the idea of my little cock being trapped inside a dog toy.

it's the dog treat: if you have a dog coded dom, the idea of them trying to "get the treat out" by playing with/nibbling around it is so?? it would be such a mean tease 🥺

it's your dick: the idea of having a dog toy as a cock is. so weirdly humiliating and affirming to me at once?? lmao. my owner jacking it/sucking it? peak. calling it my "baby knot????" omg. riding it?,, fucking hell

it's your packer: it just wouldn't look right. it would be humiliating to me anyway. bc as far as I could figure based on my own clit, it would look like a weirdly shaped erection 😭 wearing it under clothes trying to go about my day all while the fabric tugs at my trapped cock inside of it??? cruellll

[candiid-caniine]

Hi there! You are such a good boy for us! Normally I would be too shy to reach out but I’m high and I kept thinking about your gender post for like multiple days. I’m currently really ‘struggling’ with gender, and probably wanna be a girl, honestly I wanna be a girl so bad some days. So it makes me really happy that you wanna be such a good boy cause then it means I can take good girl, because I really like it when people call me that. Oh right and you also like being called puppy, which omg you are such a cute puppy boy. Ahhhhh I’m so high rn but you are just such a cute puppy with how subby and desperate you get, it’s adorable! I wish I could give you little scritches on your head and/or chin, I love it when people do it to me.

Umm I just hope I didn’t say anything bad, I’ve been following your blog for a long while now and I love your stuff and I don’t wanna come across as weird. Also ummm if what I said was totally fine, for like months now I’ve thought about that post you made where if your friend group knew about you being a puppy and you would be exposed and degraded and what not, and honestly it was really really hot. Did you know you are such a good writer puppy? I hope you know that <3 but the reason I brought it up is I was curious if like… you would be up to me writing up something and submitting it to you, like more ideas in that vein? Because it really got me going and I know you like it when people submit stuff, but I guess I didn’t want to send it unsolicited.

Thank you for reading my long message puppy You are a very good boy for us

-GG (good girl)

Ps) if this post is too dumb or rambling but you are interested in the puppy stuff you can just say something about a good girl can totally write a thing for you. I’m sorry if this is dumb, I’m quite high rn

omg hi my sweet anon friend!!!

this is *such* an old ask at this pt, idk if you're still even checking here, but 1st of all YES pls feel free to submit to this blog anytime!! this message made me nostalgic for all my old writings, i may have to get back on that soon ;)

i'm so glad anytime my blog is uplifting/helpful for those w complex or developing gender identities, and u ARE a very good girl, just for the record!! eeee i would love being given scritches as well lol this ask just. it has such a Vibe to it that makes me feel cozy and squirmy and super puppied out. i like you a lot. if yr still around, pls pls feel free to submit/ask/interact in any way u want!

[candiid-caniine]

What a pathetic puppy, making yourself ruin on your own just by bullying yourself. I've been edging myself to your blog the whole time you've been edging and I'm so fucking hard for you. Knowing you made yourself ruin made me ache to ruin my NNN streak. What a dumb pathetic little pup you are. I bet reading this made you all needy again, fucking pathetic.

uaashdasj so this came in during aftercare yesterday too and i. i uh. i did in fact ruin to it a second time later last night. n i just may ruin to it, like, every day for awhile bc oh my god??

u have me pegged ;-; reading this did make me all needy again + again + again,, its so hot knowing u were edging along w/ me and that u were tempted to ruin ur streak bc of me and yet somehow even tho we were both edging u made me feel so much more pathetic bc i *am* and i just. i,,,

listen. if any of u ruin your NNN streaks bc of this blog then i think its probably a legal requirment that i take ur punishment? right? like whether ur punishing yourself or someone else is...that shit is my fault, so....yea. just putting that out there,, lmao

[candiid-caniine]

You did so well! Such a good puppy

eeee tysm :3 this came in during my aftercare yesterday--it was so nice. and ty for all the folks who tagged/commented praise on my log from yesterday, it made me feel rly nice n fuzzy and cozy during aftercare <333

[candiid-caniine]

ok so.

26 edges + 1h 25 min in, I've just had one of the weirdest n meanest ruins ever....

almost a full minute *after* hitting the edge + removing the vibrator, I ruined despite the fact I was holding compeltely still. only the Kong toy touching me n not moving. ofc I pulled it away so I wouldn't get any stimulation at all but dear god

wanna know why I ruined? bc I kept thinking in my head "don't ruin don't ruin you stupid mutt just hold it you're not this pathetic"

humiliation kink. fuck I should've known better lmfao,,

I'd say this was a good welcome back to denial 😭 gon to do aftercare now. praises appreciated 🥺 did I do good or??

edging log: working from home

as a way to kickstart being denied again, i really am jumping in w all four paws. already a shaking sweating mess as i write this. fuck

so i spent the 1st hr of my afternoon wearing ben wa balls while i sent approvals + took meetings and now ive got my kong toy in my underwear which is providing constant pressure that's absolutely maddening against my clit. and i have a batch of approvals to send this aft. so every approval im holding my wand against the kong toy + edging.

guys im only 5 edges in. idk what to do. i wanna cum so bad, i feel like i might start drooling here soon fuck lol

[candiid-caniine]

20

hv to hold myself completely still after every edge bc of I move even a little bit against the dog toy I know I'm gonna ruin 😭.v been edging for over an hr n I keep thinking I'm almost scared I can't stop. I'm so addicted to bein denied there's just no telling

god I feel like such a pathetic slut rn. a kong toy n a few touches are turning me stupid and drooly n whiny I can't believ how dumb I look rn

edging log: working from home

as a way to kickstart being denied again, i really am jumping in w all four paws. already a shaking sweating mess as i write this. fuck

so i spent the 1st hr of my afternoon wearing ben wa balls while i sent approvals + took meetings and now ive got my kong toy in my underwear which is providing constant pressure that's absolutely maddening against my clit. and i have a batch of approvals to send this aft. so every approval im holding my wand against the kong toy + edging.

guys im only 5 edges in. idk what to do. i wanna cum so bad, i feel like i might start drooling here soon fuck lol

[candiid-caniine]

What kind of dog toy do you have shoved up your denied pussy? I want to go know bc fuck i may get one from the way you talk about it

so what's inside me rn is Ben wa balls w the second rolling ball inside. just ficking

so mean the way they roll around if I move even a little,,

and what's in my underwear is a kong toy. one of the ones 4 dogs w the hole in the middle 4 treats. I originally bought it to insert but it was a one time thing bc safety. would explain more but m braindead sry

it's just firm n ridged and I can't stop humping my clit against it :((( everytime I do I feel twice as pathetic

[candiid-caniine]

16

feel like im not even coming down from the edge btwm the time I touch myself n the time it takes to finish my approval + get back to touching

ibcant stop squirming n humping and whining, feel like everything btwn my legs is hot n throbbing n like I could ruin on command rn I'm so close n so keyed up

I was told to keep edging after I clock out so I'm gonna do that. never want it to end but want to cum so bad,,,

edging log: working from home

as a way to kickstart being denied again, i really am jumping in w all four paws. already a shaking sweating mess as i write this. fuck

so i spent the 1st hr of my afternoon wearing ben wa balls while i sent approvals + took meetings and now ive got my kong toy in my underwear which is providing constant pressure that's absolutely maddening against my clit. and i have a batch of approvals to send this aft. so every approval im holding my wand against the kong toy + edging.

guys im only 5 edges in. idk what to do. i wanna cum so bad, i feel like i might start drooling here soon fuck lol

[candiid-caniine]

10 edges in. what's really making everything worse is my kong toy. I got so used to not playing with myself btwn edges, my body doesn't know what to do,,

I take the vibe away but there's still this constant pressure n stimulation. my oversenstivie clit doesn't even get a break, it's just pressed up against a dog toy n ofc I can't resist humping just a little even tho it only makes me more frustrated :(((

30 mins left in my workday. haven't decided if I'm gonna stop when I clock out or keep going...ofc if people keep givin me edges to do I'll have no choice 🥺

edging log: working from home

as a way to kickstart being denied again, i really am jumping in w all four paws. already a shaking sweating mess as i write this. fuck

so i spent the 1st hr of my afternoon wearing ben wa balls while i sent approvals + took meetings and now ive got my kong toy in my underwear which is providing constant pressure that's absolutely maddening against my clit. and i have a batch of approvals to send this aft. so every approval im holding my wand against the kong toy + edging.

guys im only 5 edges in. idk what to do. i wanna cum so bad, i feel like i might start drooling here soon fuck lol

[candiid-caniine]

edging log: working from home

as a way to kickstart being denied again, i really am jumping in w all four paws. already a shaking sweating mess as i write this. fuck

so i spent the 1st hr of my afternoon wearing ben wa balls while i sent approvals + took meetings and now ive got my kong toy in my underwear which is providing constant pressure that's absolutely maddening against my clit. and i have a batch of approvals to send this aft. so every approval im holding my wand against the kong toy + edging.

guys im only 5 edges in. idk what to do. i wanna cum so bad, i feel like i might start drooling here soon fuck lol

[candiid-caniine]

I'd cum to your blog a few times to increase your point count, but it actually inspired me to get a chastity cage and now my owners are denying me!

For being partially responsible for putting me through this, I think you should edge as a punishment. Say... 5 times? I think that's doable for a dumb puppy.

- @golden-tumble (Pink)

omg I'm sorry 😭 but also happy 4 u? I'm conflict d haha

I'm edging while working from home today. completed your 5 edges and am already whimpering and having trouble thinking straight 😭 detailed edging log to follow. ty for punishing me and making me needier 🥺 💜

[candiid-caniine]

help a dumb dog get back on the denial wagon

hi internet! so i have been gone awhile. life stuff happening. but thru it all i've missed being your dumb, denied runt so much. thx to my owner's graciousness, i've been allowed orgasms anytime i've taken their dick in the last few months, i am a very spoiled puppy n i didn't deserve it...but we've decided i'm denied until sometime in 2025.

i am once again asking for your assistance...to get back in the headspace where i belong.

how you can help:

give me points--if you cum to my blog, let me know! i'll be doing some ruff roulette here soon (check my pinned) :)

give me tasks--you can always assign me edges, and i'll take any other tasks on a case-by-case basis (check my pinned for limits)!

humiliate + degrade me--i deserve 2 be bullied and i probably need to be reminded of that so...plspls????

give me writing requests--i love creating fantasies for y'all! i have a few ideas in the hopper but i wanna know what you wanna see :3

i just wanna be your dumb puppy again, and in these trying times, i hope i bring u horny comfort <3

[candiid-caniine]

Hiiii puppy, just wanted to tell youh the break,edge, ruin post has been helping me riun my orgsams for the past few days >.< feels so good to edge and ruin everyday!!!! im so drippy and its all with your fault. so thank you for helpign turn me into a drippy drooly epmty needy pet!!

hiiii this is such an old ask but i'm so glad youre enjoying it heheh~ it was my 1st time writing a trancey post, and like, i tried using it myself once. i immediately got so flustered i almost cried bc i was just so confused n drippy and needy and overwhelmed + by the time i went over the edge n ruined i was a shaking mess so--

well. yeah. i played myself ;-;

[candiid-caniine]

Happy to see you again! Hope you are doing alright <3

happy 2 be back! i am doing all right, just a lot of life stuff yk? funnily enough my libido came back full force when i started taking multivitamins...many such cases.

[candiid-caniine]

Got it!

On Monday, I gave my edges for the day to a mutual. So I wasn't allowed to edge. Just tease slowly and softly @.@ it was such a mind fuck, especially since she teased me by telling me how good my edges felt. And I think that day broke something in my mind. Not being allowed to edge, let alone cum @///@ I was so horny that I got a bit light-headed. But it felt so fucking good!!! So yesterday I only teased myself for the day as well, allowing two edges at the end of the day. And those were some of the best edges I've ever had! I want all edges to be like that! Before, they were just kind of meh. But I didn't know bc they have basically always been like that for me. Now, I'm toying with the idea of treating edges like orgasms for a while. So I'm denied orgasms but instead of those, I get 1-2 edges at the end of the day when I'd usually cum. Fuck. Just thinking about that makes me shake @///@

this can be a really good way to ease yourself into it if you're newer to denial :) basically just try replacing your orgasms with edges at whatever time of day u usually masturbate!

1 of the other things abt teasing/building it up throughout the day like u described...it can absolutely make ur edges hit harder/meaner. but another reason you might've had "meh" edges before is bc you weren't getting that close to the edge, whereas by teasing/working yourself up more, you're getting closer :3

thank u for sharing this experience!! it's so hot n i'm glad you're starting to find more of your stride w/ denial...always fun to see other folx fall into the addiction c:

[candiid-caniine]

Is it alright to horny post/ask right away, or do you want to slowly get back into it?

y'all can get straight back into it :3 we've got a lot to catch up on~