#anyway girl holden i love you

[cakemadeofbacon]

I was listening to “i just wanna be your princess”

one thing led to another. have girl holden caulfield:

I feel like girl holden never learned to style her hair and got so sick of people complaining she just got that stupid hat 😭

[pedropascallme]

I’ll Always Come Back

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader; no use of y/n

Summary: “The bed in the house you shared wasn’t all that large, but without Joel in it you felt completely dwarfed. It was like the mattress was swallowing you whole without Joel to anchor you to his broad shoulders and wide chest.”

Warnings: Smut (18+ MINORS DNI), dom/sub dynamics (dom!Joel x sub!Reader), fingering, oral (M & F receiving), p in v sex, praise kink, daddy kink. If I missed anything please let me know!

~~~

Summer in Jackson was a mixed bag. On the one hand, the warm weather made it much more encouraging to tend to your day-to-day activities; you could clean up around the house, sing along to the radio Joel had fixed up while you rearranged the cabin you had been gifted. You could go out and mingle without the need to put on layers and layers of clothing. And the plants—God, the plants! Things were growing, summer meant fresh greens and tending to your little plot of garden.

On the other hand, summer in Jackson meant extended patrols; the warm weather encouraged raiders to branch out further, to attempt riskier and riskier maneuvers. You never felt scared, why should stuff like that scare you after everything you had been through with Joel and Ellie? But what did get to you was the fact that Joel’s patrols were getting longer as the warm June days arrived.

Ultimately, things weren’t much different. You and Ellie and Joel still had time together and time apart, but it drove you nearly insane when you had to get into bed without him, wake up without him. The bed in the house you shared wasn’t all that large, but without Joel in it you felt completely dwarfed. It was like the mattress was swallowing you whole without Joel to anchor you to his broad shoulders and wide chest.  

Today had consisted of next to nothing. Ellie had shouted at you while you were still half asleep, saying something along the lines of “Dina” and “movie night” and “back tomorrow, maybe!” You had offered a lazy “mmff” in response. And then you heard the door slam. You tried your best to spend the day doing something—anything—productive. Go for a walk, clean the kitchen, weed the garden. In the end, though, you had found yourself letting yet another day slip by completely wasted. Maybe not completely: You had found the copy of The Catcher in the Rye that you had picked up somewhere along your journey with Joel and Ellie.

You remembered how much you had loved the cover when you first read the book—you must’ve been 14 or 15, if even. The red carousel horse that looked so…messy and unhinged. That might’ve been what initially drew you to the book in the first place, not to judge a book by its cover or anything, but it just looked so promising. When you reread it, you found yourself comparing Holden Caulfield to one Joel Miller; the character’s intensity, his need to isolate himself in order to protect himself and everybody else, his crippling losses. It was all Joel. So maybe, in the back of your mind, you had really just started skimming through it today to remind yourself of the growth you had seen Joel go through in your time together. He was so closed off, so hesitant when you had first joined him and Ellie. Of course, the biggest difference between the real life and the literary was Joel’s ability to grow, to open up and remember how to feel; Holden never really got that sort of closure.

After hours and hours of reading and reminiscing, the sun had finally started to go down. You prepared yourself for another night alone in the house. You were happy Ellie had the ability to go out and spend her time with people she loved, but when Joel was out for so long, you couldn’t help but feel jealous. Jealous and lonely. But you were a big girl, and you could handle it. Even if you hated it. You changed out of your denim shorts and took off the tank top that was now fairly sweaty, opting to sleep naked. Might as well if nobody is going to see you, anyway. You curled up under the bedsheet, not bothering to sleep under the comforter, it was entirely too hot for that. You fell asleep far quicker than anticipated.

You woke with a start when you felt a hand wrap around your midriff, a voice in your ear drawling “g’night, darlin’.” Dazed, you turned yourself over to face the direction of the voice.

Joel was home.

Nothing could’ve snapped you out of your groggy state faster than the excitement of seeing him again after so long. Really, it hadn’t been long at all, but it was always such a relief having him back next to you. You clung to him, reacquainting yourself with his smell and the feel of him. Just as quickly, though, you pushed yourself up and off of him.

“You’re dirty.”

“Missed you too, sweetheart.” He pulled you back down to him, caging you in with his arms. “Don’t’cha like dirty, baby?” He laughed while you tried to wriggle yourself out of his hold.

“Like it when it’s how you’re acting, not when you’re literally caked in dirt.” You faked outrage, hitting his chest softly.

“C’mon, know you like seein’ me this way.”

And he was right, obviously. You loved seeing his hair pushed back with sweat, feeling his calloused hands against your bare back, tracing his collarbones and feeling the gravelly remnants of dirt.

“You had a good patrol, then?” You asked, finally letting yourself fall atop him, truly not caring about the dirt and sweat.

“It was alright. Uneventful. Fuckin’ hot out there, though.”

“Maybe it’s time to start wearing shorts, cowboy.”

“Yeah, that’s what everybody wants to see. My old man knees shinin’ out in the sun.”

You giggled. He traced his hands down your naked body, letting himself feel every dimple and curve.

“You got th’right idea. Nothin’ like comin’ in from the heat to see my baby stripped down for me. Should probably start doin’ the same whenever I can.” He squeezed your ass roughly, forcing a moan from your lips.

“C-can’t just walk around the commune naked, Joel. At least put some rips in your pants.”

“Mm, why walk around the commune in jeans when I could strip down with you at home, darlin’?” He delivered a smack to your ass, making you gasp. “Could just stay here all day ‘nd play with you. Make me sweat, keep me cool.” He quirked an eyebrow, tongue wetting his bottom lip before he brought your face to his with both his hands.

He tasted perfect, like the cigarettes he and Tommy swore they weren’t smoking, like whiskey, like mint, like black coffee. He licked at your bottom lip, encouraging you to open your mouth and let his tongue in. You felt him sweep the inside of your mouth, spit mingling and teeth clacking together as the kiss intensified. Without separating himself from you, Joel sat up, grabbing you by the hair and biting your bottom lip.

“Gonna be good f’me?” He still had you by the hair as he started to undo his belt. “Gonna show daddy what you missed so much while I was gone?”

“Wanna show you, please Joel.”

He pulled your hair tighter into his fist, and you let out a high pitched sound.

“You can do better than that, baby. Try again.”

“Please daddy, I wanna show you what I missed!”

“Atta girl.”

He pulled his belt from the loops on his jeans in one swift motion, undoing his button and fly just as fast. You could see the bulge that had grown in his jeans, and your mouth watered at the sight.

“You wanna be good?” Joel pulled your head back so that you were looking into his eyes. “You gotta work for what you want, baby. You know that.” He laughed when your hands flew to his crotch, shoving the denim down his hips and doing the same to the boxers he was wearing. You took his hard length in your hands; no matter how long you had been together, no matter how many times he let you have it, you were consistently amazed by how big he was. He was long, thick, heavy in your hands, and it just spurred you on further to show him how good you could be.

“Spit.” He still had a fist in your hair, and he held you above the tip of his cock. You did as you were told, letting your spit drip from his tip, down his shaft. He made you repeat the action once more before letting you move your hands.

“Good girl, jerkin’ daddy off so good.” He groaned when you dropped a hand to his balls, your other hand working his full length. His back arched slightly when you gave his balls a squeeze, moving your hand to focus on the head of his cock. He released you from his grip.

“Open your mouth, baby, give your daddy a show, huh?” You jumped at the chance, shuffling down his body and lowering your face between his hips. You kept one hand working up and down his shaft and took as much as you could in your mouth, flicking your tongue against his most sensitive spots.

“Fuck, good girl. Gonna make me cum if you keep going like that. Fuck!” You took his rambling as an opportunity to take as much of him as you could down your throat. Suddenly, his hand was back in your hair, pulling you off of him. A string of your saliva kept you connected to his cock, dripping from your puffy lips.

Joel brought your face back up to his, catching you in a heated kiss. You felt him bite your bottom lip, your own tongue tasting the inside of his mouth. He broke away for just long enough to flip you onto your back. He stood over you, pulling his jeans off completely and staring down at you hungrily.

“Y’out here sayin’ you don’t like dirty. You got such a mouth on you, baby, y’know it’s not good to go ‘round lyin’.” He pulled you towards him by your ankles, letting your legs fall over the edge of the bed before he kneeled in front of you and hiked them up on his shoulders. “See how I know you were lyin’?” He wasted no time showing you, pushing a thick finger into your cunt. “Drippin’ baby, fuckin’ soaked. S’all for daddy, isn’t it, sweetheart?” You moaned at the sudden intrusion. Just one of Joel’s fingers was enough to make you lose control completely. He twisted it inside you, pumping in and out slowly.

“Tell me it’s for daddy.”

“I—it’s all for, it’s all f—for daddy!” You gasped when you felt another one of his fingers exploring your slit, using your wet to force itself in beside his other finger.

“S’what I thought.” He curled his fingers, bringing his mouth down to your clit and sucking hard. You let out a scream of his name. He only sucked harder, letting the bundle of nerves go with a pop.

“Cum on my fingers, baby. C’mon now, give it to me.” You felt his fingers, still curled, start rubbing against the spongy spot inside of you. Your walls began to clench around his fingers, his mouth once again finding a pace on your clit. You came around his fingers with a jumbled mixture of gasps and screams, barely registering how he talked you through it.

“Good fuckin’ girl, that’s it. Yeah, show daddy what a good girl you are.” Joel placed another kiss on your clit, slowly slipping his fingers out of you. Though your mind was still foggy from the orgasm he had just given you, you whined at the sudden emptiness. When he stood above you again, you reached your arms up for him. He smiled down at you, bending over to kiss your forehead and then your lips.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, not done yet.” He straightened himself out a little, placing a knee on the bed next to you. You reached out to brush your fingers over his thigh. God, he was so muscular. You suppose, for all the walking he did, he should be, but still. Your legs were once again over his shoulders, now above you as he loomed over your naked figure. He took his cock in his hand, stroking himself as he lined himself up with your still dripping slit.

“Daddy’s gonna give you more baby, don’t worry.” You felt the tip of his cock nudge your clit before he lowered himself into your pussy. You both groaned at the contact; the squeeze of your cunt around his thick cock felt like heaven for each of you.

Once fully inside of you, Joel dropped the leg that had bed resting on the bed back to the ground, and pressed his body to yours, chest to chest. He pulled out till just his head was still resting in your pussy, before snapping his hips forward, shoving himself completely back into you, punching the air from your lungs.

“Missed this pussy,” he breathed out shakily, keeping a harsh pace, “missed feelin’ your tight fuckin’ cunt wrap around me like this.”

“Missed you so much, missed daddy’s cock—fuck!” He had your arms above your head now, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples and slowing his strokes slightly, continuing to fuck you deep. You rubbed your hips into his own, desperate for as much friction as you could get. He felt you bucking your hips, laughing at your desperation.

“Poor lil’ baby, such a needy fuckin’ pussy.”

“Dadd—y, need it!”

“Watch your mouth, darlin’, I’m givin’ it to you, ain’t I? Remember who you’re speakin’ to,” he sped up his thrusts, making your tits bounce while you lay back taking it. “Need some fuckin’ manners, baby.”

“I—fuck!—Please daddy, need to cu—m on your cock. Please!” You were begging, he had you exactly where he wanted you. Fucked out and messy, your hair sticking to your forehead and your slick dripping down his cock to your thighs. He loved when you got desperate. Fuck, he had missed you. He had been gone two, maybe three days, and all he could think about was coming home to you. One of his hands came down between your legs, fingers attaching to your clit. You arched your back, moaning, inviting him to touch you where you needed him most. He massaged your bud in tight, neat circles, his fingers moving faster than his thrusts.

He was fucking merciless.

“Can feel that pussy getting’ tighter on me. Y’gonna cum for me again, baby? Gonna cover daddy’s cock in your pretty fuckin’ juices?” His thrusts were beginning to speed up, and within a few more seconds of him fucking you senseless and talking you up (“Good girl, good girl gonna soak daddy’s big cock. That’s right, beautiful, make a fuckin’ mess on me.”) you were cumming hard around him. You grabbed at him, pulling him down onto you while he continued to push his cock deeper into you.

“That’s right, my fuckin’ girl. So good baby, tha’s it.” You scratched your nails down his back, legs shaking as you wrapped them around him. His thrusts became sloppy, nearing his high. You took it upon yourself to gain back a teeny bit of control.

“Cum, daddy, please. Want you to fill me up, want daddy’s cum.” He growled in your ear, fucking into you harder.

“Yeah? Want daddy to full this cunt with my fuckin’ load, baby?”

“Please, yes please,” you begged, still trembling from your own high.

“Gonna give it to you, sweetheart, gonna—shit, gonna fill you up so nice and deep—” He cut himself off with a deep thrust and a loud groan. You felt the warm spurts of his cum deep inside you, moaning at the sensation. He moaned, dropping himself down onto you. You stayed like that for as long as you could; his cock softening inside you, his full body weight pressing you into the springs of the old mattress, your breathing heavy. It was perfect.

“I missed you so much,” Joel panted out, still catching his breath. “M’sorry for comin’ home dirty. ‘Nd late.” He pushed himself up off of you, now mostly-soft cock sliding out of you, turning to lie on his back. You crawled up to him, lying on your side as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You could feel his cum and yours dripping down the curve of your thigh and onto the mattress.

“You know I don’t mind. I know you’re out there keeping us all safe. You’re good at it.” You kissed his jawline. “Plus, means I get to welcome you back like this.” He smiled, letting you continue trailing kisses wherever you could reach.

“Just hate leavin’ you.”

“I know you’ll always come back home to me.”

He looked down at you, still smiling. You’ll never get used to seeing Joel Miller smile, but you’ll always love how he looked doing it. He kissed your forehead, pushing the hair out of your face before taking your chin in his hand and leaning you up to kiss him.

“I’ll always come back.”

[jediwizard]

It's crazy how Alice creates the most diverse but also relatable characters. There are characters of different sexual orientations, different races, genders, mental illnesses, family life and eating disorders. They're all so different??? but there's something that binds them all together. For example, I relate to Tao and his love for films but I also relate to Georgia with her loyalty to her friends, and I relate to Tori but I relate to Frances and her obsession to do well in school and not be a disappointment, but I relate to Lister but I... They're all different, but there's something so familiar about them and you can see similar traits in each of them in yourself. you're never just one character, but a perfect mix of a bunch of them. I feel like a collage or mosaic of my favourite characters. Not just the four of them, but all the characters, like Aled Last, Micheal Holden and Elle Argent.

Alice Oseman's characters radiate comfort and warmth. Her books give the same vibes as curling up in you're cozy messy bed after an exhausting day at school or work, buried under a mountain of blankets when it rains or snows outside. The months between September and February when the sun sets early and you get to wear extra layers of clothes like that oversized black hoodie to cover your face from the unfamiliar or jean jacket covered in fandom pins. Returning to your room filled with artifacts from your childhood, old middle-grade fantasy books you haven't touched in like four years but wouldn't sell or donate because they mean too much, book reports and DIY science projects from 3rd grade and that movie poster filled haven where you could leave the stresses of the real world behind.

All the lights are off, except for those fairy string lights above your bed. You're sipping a hot cup of tea or hot chocolate, rereading your old favourite books you loved as a teenager and watching that old favourite film that you've seen so many times that you can remember all the dialogue to, but you watch it anyway. Listening to that carefully curated 90s indie rock playlist from 2019 to drown out and forget the world outside. listening to artists like cavetown, girl in red, the 1975, Arctic monkeys, phoebe bridgers and the smiths. staying up wayyyy too late, the only light being the screen of your laptop or phone, reading fan fiction on AO3 while your whole family's asleep. That warmth and authenticity that you don't find much in modern media. The nostalgia. How she accurately portrays what actual teenagers are like, both the good and the bad. and every other feeling in between. confusion and the odd feelings of growing up, especially how characters like georgia and Nick never realized their sexualities until later (it can be nerve-wracking to figure something out), but also people who have known who they are since forever like frances and charlie. knowing yourself but also feeling like a complete stranger in your body. i don't know how, but even if you're reading it for the first time, @chronicintrovert books have the feeling of returning home.

[youcouldmakealife]

Masking, YCMAL edition

So, after the general info on masking, here's how it specifically looks like and impacts some of the 'verse's characters.

I think I kind of need to preface this with the fact that a lot of my characters have neurodivergent traits because, well. I do. I don't know how a neurotypical person thinks, the same way a neurotypical person doesn't know how a neurodivergent person thinks. You can read about the experience, and, despite shitty stereotypes to the contrary, you can empathize with it, but the wiring of the brain is literally different.

So when I'm listing characters here as neurodivergent, I either a) set out to write them that way or b) in hindsight can't deny that their experiences are written through a very specifically neurodivergent lens. Someone not being explicitly labelled as ND doesn't necessarily mean they aren't, I just..really don't want to go back through my entire 'verse applying diagnoses the same way I happily slap an MBTI or enneagram or kindergarten teacher/assassin label on them, because that feels wrong.

But if you're neurodivergent and see something in a particular character that makes you feel seen, I'm not going to tell you 'nah man, they're actually neurotypical'. Especially because literally every single one of them was written by someone neurodivergent.

Anyway! Canonically ND characters and their masks:

David: masks extensively. Generally does his best for 'unobtrusive, pay no attention', unsure why it doesn't seem to work (mostly because he's talented and beautiful, so it seems less 'unobtrusive' and more 'I think I'm better than you', which isn't helped by the fact that often when the mask does slip, it's to show frustration, contempt, or disdain -- think at the All-Star Game his rookie year, or several points early on with Jake. Also does not help that he often does think he's better than people.)

Bryce: Still laughing at 'straightsona' used to describe Bryce out with his teammates, because it's perfect. His 'I don't care, I'm hot as shit, bitches love me' dickhead behaviour was him picking up those behaviours from popular peers and teammates over the years, partly mistaking that for the reason they were popular (rather than being seen as boy kings making them callous or arrogant), and partly viewing them as the exemplar of someone no one would predict was gay. Jared's worst enemy.

Speaking of, honourable mention to Raf Sanchez AND Julius Halla here, Jared's going around collecting neurodivergent loved ones all through IJ(aoe).

James: 'unobtrusive, pay no attention', much more successfully than David, partly because he has a mouthpiece in the form of Finn. His crashing after road trips is partly extended overstimulation and change, but it's also having to wear the mask more extensively, because he has much less time to himself, especially when he shared a room. (He's mostly unmasked with Finn, that's why Finn is his exception to a lot of No People things, but he wasn't at the beginning).

Holden: Also kind of 'I don't care, I'm hot as shit, bitches love me', but...ironically? He doesn't mask as much as the others, and because of that, he frequently drives away people who originally seem to like him and wonders why. Has been described as 'a lot'.

Fiona: Literally will not leave the house without a full face of makeup and a pair of heels or she'll feel exposed and vulnerable, and putting her make up on is how she prepares to be Outside Fiona. She's very perky and friendly at work. The second she gets home it's an 'uggggh' moment and straight into the shower to decompress/literally unmask. She's more aware than any of the guys that she's putting on a performance, partly because she grew up with all those 'girls are expected to be...' followed by a list of things she definitively wasn't. Has also been described as 'a lot'.

Finn: And How May I Be of Service To You Today?

Now this is where it gets kind of interesting because like -- people often have facades. That's not a neurodivergent only thing. People can be fake, or posture, or pretend to be something they're not. Mike, for example, will lean into the big macho asshole when he's put on the defensive, Willy is Always Performing, Thomas is sunshine even when he doesn't really feel like being that, Robbie will play the buffoon to make people laugh if he thinks they need it, half of Joey's rants are playing to the cheap seats.

Like, there's a difference between pretending you're somebody else sometimes, or behaving inauthentically, and full on 'yeah, they're masking'.

But Georgie is masking. Georgie is, at all times, evaluating his surroundings, monitoring people's emotions and reactions (especially to him), and behaving in the manner he thinks is most likely to lead to his being liked. And he was already doing that when Robbie met him, but it's intensified significantly since.

I think that's where the biggest difference lies between some of the above ND characters and Georgie? David, for example, doesn't care if he's liked (like, yes he does, but also...no). The mask is for safety/to minimize vulnerability. David's in particular was tweaked to get praise and avoid criticism from his parents (didn't work), teachers, and coaches (worked much better), not so much for his peers.

But Georgie's isn't for safety. Georgie doesn't manage his behaviour to avoid harm, Georgie wants people to like him. And he's discovered that people don't seem to like him when he does certain things, or acts certain ways, or needs things from them, so he just...doesn't do those things.

Finn's interesting because he has both forms. Please like him it'll break his heart if you don't.

[wassupmygays]

yap about ur headcanons about the socs pls!!

heheeh okay some misc things about the soc guys that have popped into my head throughout the week (im sorry this is so long)

EDIT: ok ive put it all under the cut bc it got so long but i do yap a little bit about each soc guy so please read hehe :)

Chet

chet and his family moved from california when he was in 3rd grade. his first friend in town was one sodapop curtis on his little league baseball team

his dad is a cop and wants to advance up the ranks, and his mom wants to make sure they keep up their good social standing, so chet was not friends with soda for long

you know those boys in like 5th grade that crack all the dumb jokes, hit all the door frames, and tease every girl "because he likes her"? thats chet and trip

this is inspired by @/sky4cherry iirc but chet does Nawt get attention at home man. his dad is always busy with work and a little mean (yknow how dads are in the 60s) and his mom is always working on the next social function or trying to appease his dad. anyways he is just always at another soc guy's house just to have someone Talk to him

i think he picks up drinking and smoking, and fighting, for a similar reason to bob: he just wants his parents to fucking notice he's doing something wrong. but theyre high enough now in the social and job spaces that they can just wipe any misdemeanors under the rug

i cant decide if chet is an only child, or if he has like 2 siblings that are way older than him. idk

Trip

terrance dipp is The Exasperated older brother ever. bro did Nawt want a little brother sorry melvin.

anyways unfortunately i do think trip is very much a guy's guy. that boy is Not a good boyfriend to marcia unfortunately :(((((( at least by the time we get to their sophomore year/the show

him and chet can not be sat together in class. they will never shut up or stop hitting each other.

chet broke his arm one time in like 6th grade. trip threatens to break it again at least once a month

ive said this before but ill say it again: trip and melvin are just soc steve and ponyboy. trip is so tired of his kid brother being in all his sports and trying to tag along to everything

that being said, he was looking out for melvin so much during the rumble. he knew their mom would kill him if he brought his brother home all beat up, but also he really really didn't want him to get too hurt.

he Always goes to marcia to patch him up after hes been in a fight. (after the rumble though, him and marcia are on the rocks, and hes got melvin to worry about. so he just sneaks melvin home and tries to clean him up before their mom sees. its actually a sweet bonding moment between them i think)

trip lovesssss verbally poking fun at any greaser in school, especially two-bit. after he realizes two-bit likes marcia, his mean jokes become a lot more threatening

(i do love trip i promise i just also think hes kinda a mean guy. you know the kind of rowdy douche bags in high school im talking about. im so sorry ksco and sean jones i promise i love trip kdjfkdjf)

Brill

clark brillstein i'll be so incredibly honest i dont have much in my brain for him :((( i gotta sit and think more

i do think he has one of the better home lives out of the bunch, and hes got his lovely perfect girlfriend, and hes good at sports, and honestly i think he just. gets tired of everyone thinking hes got it so perfect all of the time. i think maybe thats why he likes all the fighting so much

while he is relatively happy with his life rn, hes tired of being doted on like hes perfect. and also sometimes he sees everyone else's lives being so shitty, he feels likes hes got to pick fights to justify him feeling bad about his lot.

Paul

ohhh im gonna have to hold myself back from talking about him forever. he will get his own post at some point aDKFJDKFJK

anyways. paul holden. the messiest and most scared gay kid in the town of tulsa

i think he and bob literally grew up together. like their parents are Old old friends, so paul and bob have always basically been brothers despite a 2/3 ish year age difference (i dont feel like doing the exact math). i think bev's parents are also in this old friend group, so pauls known her forever too

anyways. he was probably the bob of his friend group in his class, which is why nobody really really protested darry being in their group. but i also think that when he was with darry, paul didnt really care about the whole social friend group of things too much.

contrary to popular belief i dont think paul is the friend-group-leader type. idk if that makes sense and i can yap about it more but.

anyways post-darry breakup paul is a fucking mess. hes sad and angry and those fights that darry was always trying to stop feel so damn good. maybe bob and his buddies are on to something, and bob's dad always has a full liquor cabinet

Bob

obviously we know the most about bob and his home life and inner psyche and reasons for fighting and honestly all of it really resonates in my brain. like yea im keeping all of that

bro has charisma to the max. like he has always been the ringleader of the friend group, even in like 4th grade when all the boys started becoming best buddies

he used to be such a mommas boy. before her praise just became so meaningless.

oh ive just had a revelation. he is an angrier and more resigned buddy aldridge from rotpl. his dad is pulling the strings to make sure his precious son is climbing all the right ladders.

the difference here tho is bob realized this earlier, and that started his spiral into fights and drinking and causing problems. he wanted to see what would finally make his dad stop covering and fixing everything for him. he never found that limit

he knows cherry cant stand the drinking, and i do think he does feel bad about ignoring her feelings about it. but his urge to push back against everything and spit in the face of anyone who tries to tell him how he should be just overpowers. and god everything is more fun when hes boozed up

[decentishoutsidersthoughts]

A Hunger games AU?!?!

You are so evil and devious and cruel…

Give me more

I was gonna talk about all of book 1 but the reaping kinda got long so here’s my thoughts on the reaping day

So the Curtis gang all grow up in district 12 and if you thought they were poor before, they’re like barely surviving now. They died when Darry was 16 in this tho. Darry does a LOT of illegal hunting to keep them alive. He makes Soda come with him a lot because if something happens to him he wants them to like- not die-

The rules of these games are that they pull a guy and a girl but anybody can volunteer for anybody

Darry did everything he could to keep his brothers safe while he was a teenager. Soda wasn’t allowed to take out tessera, but when Darry turned 18, there was nothing else to do. They’ve both determined Ponyboy will NEVER take one out. So if I did the math right Soda should have 8 entries and Ponyboy has 2.

Ofc it doesn’t end up meaning much anyways because the time comes and Ponyboy gets reaped. Darry legit almost passes out and Soda is frozen for a couple seconds. But after a couple seconds he comes back to himself and without thinking he volunteers

Ponyboy freaks out, and Steve is like ‘what the fuck are you doing-‘. Darry doesn’t know how to feel ngl but he isn’t surprised. Honestly though nobody in the gang has any hope in Soda, they’re trying to pretend they do though

That would be the end of it, but when they ask for volunteers, who else steps up by Steve Randle. Soda immediately panics and begs him to take it back but Steve already had his heart set on this and there was nothing anyone else could do.

Goodbyes are…a lot. Soda was crying even before he made it into the building, and it got worse the second he saw his brothers. Ponyboy shouted at him for a little bit before curling up in his arms and sobbing. 

Darry was straight to business. He told Soda to stay away from people and hide for as long as possible. He told him not to worry about him and Ponyboy, that they would be fine and waiting for him if he came home. If.

Finally Darry pulls him into a hug, telling Soda how much he loves him. Then, the three minutes are up and Ponyboy are dragged out of the room. Ponyboy fights, and manages to crash into Soda’s arms one more time before he’s dragged out. Soda cracks open the door and peeks out, immediately shutting it when the last glimpse he gets of Darry is his holder brother crying.

Dally, Two, and Johnny all come in at the same time. Two and Johnny don’t say much, just wrapping him into a hug. Two starts to promise that he’ll be okay,  but Dally yells not to say that

Dally proceeds to tell him he’s fucked once he’s in that arena. Once the games start there is absolutely nothing he can do for himself. So, he needs to make every second before that count if he wants to stand a chance. He’s handsome, he’s charismatic, he can get the audience to fall in love with him and that’s what he needs to do. He’s about to tell Soda something else, but time runs out and they’re dragged out of the room before he can.

His next visitor is a shock to him. Paul Holden, who’s the mayors son, comes in and calmly sits across from him, they make pointless conversation until Soda asks why he’s there. Paul says he doesn’t know. They sit in silence for the rest of the time, and Paul leaves willingly when the time comes. As he’s leaving he tells Soda his brothers will be fine, and that they’ll eat as long as he has something to say about it

After that Soda just spends some time alone trying to compose himself. At least for the moment, he makes peace with the fact that he’s probably going to die next week. His sadness turns into anger at Steve

Eventually he gets taken to the train, on the way him and Steve walk by eachother. They don’t talk but the tension is already there. Steve hadn’t cried at all yet, his dad didn’t even come to see him and the gang already knew what he was doing and didn’t try to talk him out of it. (Darry had come in crying, and thanked Steve once he learned of the plan. Steve promised to bring his brother home)

These boys tear up the food table in the train. They both feel super sick after. They meet their mentor and escort though. Their mentor is a drunk like Haymitch is, and Soda takes it as the first of many signs showing how absolutely fucked he is.

Neither of them like the escort much. Steve hates her and Soda thinks she’s well meaning but she also keeps talking about how lucky they are to be here. Eventually they both just leave and are left alone in the hallway.

They have the first genuine argument they’ve ever had. Soda yells at Steve for putting himself at stake like that, and for putting them into a situation where they have to compete for their lives. And then Steve says that they’re not competing because they’re getting Soda home, and that just makes him more upset

The fight ‘ends’ when Steve says it was Soda’s fault they’re here anyways cause he’s the one who volunteered first. Soda asks if he should’ve just let his little brother die and Steve doesn’t respond. Soda storms off to his room, Steve goes to his, and this time they both cry into their pillows. 

[fallin4fiction]

Struck by Love Gen 8: Spooky Day and New Friends

Spooky day rolled around again and it was amazing to see the difference a (few) year(s) makes. Lynn and I were more in love than ever.

Holden: Are you my Final Girl?

Lynn: I better be your only girl. Anyway, we should set up a party for the kids.

First ever Festive Family Photo! And in the background, Butterscotch made their presence known.

We put the girls in the local kids club and Kendra made friends with Lynn’s ex roommate’s daughter, Willow.

After Spooky Day, I decided to quit law enforcement and become a handyman,so I could continue to work on my handiness skill. Also, I made time for Heath in our glitchy hallway.( We were in the middle of small renovations) He was the only kid to master all his required toddler skills. Third time is the charm.

Holden: Ok girls, how about we make your little brother a birthday cake?

Kendra: Do we have to?

Helena: Can we hire people for that? Didn’t Granny K leave us like a bajilllion Simoleans?

Holden: No, it was a motherlode amount of Simoleans and this will be a nice bonding activity.

Age up time!

Like before, Kendra decided to be by herself during the party. She was eating cake on the front porch when a boy strolled up.

Boy: I heard cheering and smelled cake , so I came here. I’m Edward Eggard by the way. Why are you sadly eating cake?

Kendra: I’m still sad about my grandma Kora passing away. I heard she held me once, but I never really knew her and I wish I did. I heard she climbed a mountain once.

Edward: Aw, I’m sorry you lost someone important to you. But maybe she’s in the After Save, or she’ll be reborn into a new sim and you can meet her again.

Kendra: *sniffles* Maybe

Edward: I should go. My mom doesn’t like me walking outside on the dark by myself. See you around, Goldie!

Kendra: Such a weird kid.

[agentmmayy]

2023 monthly music rotation

it's been a hot minute since i've made one of these, but here are all my favorite songs from each month of 2023!

january:

one i wanna be with - trella: oh bop!!!!!!!!!!! this ENTIRE SONG just makes me so happy!!!!!!! it’s so full of love!!! every lyric hits but especially i can’t help but wish we met before we did.

february:

antiques - holden laurence: god the desperation in this makes me want to claw my chest open and rip my heart out. the beat fucks in this jaunty rhythm that’s such a juxtaposition to the haunting lyrics and vocals. then the bridge?????? i promise to be strong i promise to believe in love that lingers on i’ll see you in my dreams. I’M CALLING THE POLICE. this is a tess/joel song. not only because of how apocalyptic this feels (which is a whole other discussion) but also meet me in the space between all the words unsaid when we could not speak meet me i’ll be waiting for you there. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

march:

borderline - tove lo: HOT. listen. everything tove lo writes and sings is inherently sexy i don't make the rules. this one especially wtf!!!!!!

unrequited night - lily kershaw: i- please respect my privacy at this time. this is a masterpiece. immediately a song i listened to laying in bed staring up at the ceiling. VERY tlou coded. (but then again every song i listened to in feb/march and lbr this past year was) AND THE GASP AT THE END GETS ME EVERY TIME.

april:

flowers in my hair - calista garcia: sweet, slow, and syrupy. i love this song and how it feels like a breath of fresh air. it’s achingly romantic and has got me singing along and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. though, at the same time it’s so intimate i feel like i’m intruding. 

labor - paris paloma: the intensity of it still continues to blow my mind. it’s unapologetic and awful. it’s incredible. i felt every lyric in my gut. i don’t want to over explain it since i can’t do the song justice but it’s so brutally honest in describing and dismantling traditional roles placed upon women and girls. the entirety of it is like poking at a wound that never closes, a wound that’s been gaping and bleeding for centuries and it makes me so angry. the visceral reaction i had to the lyric ‘if we had a daughter’ girl i- ouuuuugh. i got sick to my stomach. i was screaming crying throwing up etc etc. anyway this song is a masterpiece. still haven’t recovered from it. also it’s a fucking bop. 

may:

‘i’m just learning how to make peace with feeling small’ ‘but i might drive off if it gets too hard’ ‘there’s always a sunset that i wanna run into’ ‘i’m searching but i’m not lost’ and my all time favorite lyric that put me on the floor when i heard it the first time- ‘i’m a growing tree a few missing leaves i can’t shelter you don’t sit under me’ HELLO????? 

vagabond - overcoats: THIS song. this song has been the one i played the most in may because one it’s an absolute banger and second of all it read me for filth and the lyrics are so beautifully crafted and honest and pure and delivered impeccably. it’s a sweet, slow melody and coupled with the lyrics it reached into the depths of my soul and pulled out everything i can’t say and put it into this song like.

fireworks - JOSEPH: now for ANOTHER song that read me for filth. lately i’ve been feeling this exact way since all my friends and people around me have reached certain milestones in life- such as getting married, settling down, etc- that i haven’t and i’m left even more alone and bereft. but THIS SONG said that’s okay!!!!!!!! this song understood!!!!!! it said i’m not alone feeling this way!!!!

every lyric absolutely sent me through the roof but these especially:  ‘all these long songs might be no good for me’ ‘how long will i wait to be happy all my friends ask me’ ‘what if i’m wrong wrong to think there’s more to this story’ ‘an act of faith even though it hurts to shut that door am i holding out forever?’ ‘am i headstrong or foolish every night waiting for lighting to strike whole you’ve got blue skies?’ and my favorite- ‘i wish i could just flip a switch and accept your kind of muted bliss’ WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! once again HOW did they put it into words!!!!!! this song has such a special place in my heart. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve not only listened to it but also screamed along and cried to it 

also, JOSEPH always creates the most compelling and just fun to listen to songs and this is no exception!!!!!!!!! the harmonies are delicious and the music dropping at certain points is incredible and the beat has me dancing around the room. filed right under beach music! 

moonlight - madison rose: i wore this song into the ground!!!!! AMAZING beat and vibe. liberating rejuvenating sexy etc etc.

june:

cowboy take me away - the chicks: me personally!!!!! my favorite version of cowboy take me away. i DO wanna touch the earth and break it in my hands but i ESPECIALLY wanna look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall!!!!!!!!! every summer is cowgirl summer but this song just turned the dial to the max. never have i ever wanted a cowgirl summer more.

july:

satellites - emi larraud: this one was interesting! VERY 80s themed. it's funky. it's powerful. it's just groovy.

august:

wicked game - ursine vulpine, annica: alright i'm a sucker for these intense ballads especially when they remind me of the 100 but seriously. it's sensuous. it's an experience. the vocals are out of this world.

pretty boy - LEON: of course i had to put a LEON song on here. while this isn't my favorite of hers it was just so nice to get a new song from her again. i felt like a wilting flower getting watered. to no one's surprise it's a bop and delivers lines that absolutely wreck me such as you can't outrun getting old, that hidden place where hope lives, well that's the last it goes. ma'am!!!

september:

moonburn - dani sylvia: feeling very seen rn thank you!!!!!!!! literally spongebob leaning against rock.jpg every time i listen. it's- ough. this song has layers and i am peeling them back like an onion. when does the healing start if you leave before daylight. saying SO much in one line!!!!!!! it's the inversion of the typical light vs dark trope for me! and the chorus is immaculate.

super graphic ultra modern girl - chappell roan: chappell hit it out of the park with her first album and THIS SONG SPECIFICALLY. the absolute journey @152glasslippers and i went on listening to this... especially at 22 seconds in. WHEW. super graphic ultra modern girl IS THAT GIRL!!!!!!! SHE IS THE MOMENT!!!!!

october:

honest mistake - bears den: screaming shaking crying throwing up etc etc. bears den always writes songs that lift me by my ankles and shake me until every humiliatingly private thought comes tumbling out in the lyrics of their songs. also i love how consistent they are with the aesthetics and formality of their songs. it's very soothing while ripping me up inside.

mars - noelle: listened to this 60 times in a day. you don't understand i found this song 10/17 and spotify stopped tracking 10/31 and it was my most listened to song of the year. it's dreamy. it's sweet. the vocals are stunning and the music is fantastic.

heart to heart - now more than ever: banger. when that beat dropped i was shook!!!!!!!!!! it's a very early 2000s emo vibe but also delightfully contemporary? the vibes are there. oh and the lyrics and the way they're sung is amazingly bittersweet.

november:

swimming pool - jack kane: one of my favorites of the whole year. if spotify didn't stop tracking before november this would have been my top song. it is 100000% a slow sad groove bop. every time i listen maybe not physically but spiritually i am girl at table.jpg. formally this song is delicious and lyrically it is devastating.

december:

scorpions - distance sprinter : okay this one might be a contender for top song. impeccable. there's crack in this. the beat is OUTSTANDING. i literally can't play this in the car if i'm driving because i will start dancing. the vibes are off the charts. at no point in this song do you expect what's next. the lyrics are heartbreaking and beautiful. there's so much i can say about this song but i am gnawing on the words it's just so good.

TOP SONGS OF THE YEAR: these have 5 stars. to me. 6 stars even.

antiques - holden laurence

unrequited night - lily kershaw

vagabond - overcoats

fireworks - JOSEPH

moonburn - dani sylvia

swimming pool - jack kane

scorpions - distance sprinter

[send-beer-money]

My Top 10 Favorite Old Hollywood Actors

(in no particular order)

WILLIAM HOLDEN

Bill Holden was my very first old hollywood obsession. After seeing him for the first time in Sabrina I absolutely fell in love with him. Stalag 17 is quite possibly my favorite movie of all time and Sunset Boulevard is always a classic. Although Picnic is not a great movie I am absolutely obsessed with the dance scene, I think it’s the most gorgeous piece of cinematography I’ve ever seen. Also peep my favorite outfit of his in this photo (excluding shirtless pics)

ROBERT MITCHUM

Night of the Hunter is such a good movie, if you follow me you’ve certainly seen me post about it before. Y’all… something about this man. At first I thought I was just attracted to how bat shit his character is but then watching Holiday Affair this year where he’s an absolute aloof cutie, I realized it truly is just him.

PAUL MUNI

He’s such a little guy. He’s so cute. I first saw him in Angel on my Shoulder and am obsessed with that movie. I recently watched I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang and it was phenomenal but most importantly he was so little and scrungly in it. something about this little guy just lights my face up seeing him on screen, he does such a good job.

ROCK HUDSON

Here’s the thing, I’d feel weird about being this attracted to a gay man but I’ve been attracted to many a straight women before so I can’t even find it in me to feel bad. Rock Hudson is not only insanely talented and gorgeous but I’ve read his biography and his entire story is just so fascinating. I’ve seen so so so so many of his films, Giant is one of my favorites of all time (his chemistry with his dear friend Liz Taylor is simply fantastic) as well as All That Heaven Allows and of course Pillow Talk with…

DORIS DAY

Another cold take i’m afraid since it’s hard not to love some of the more well known stars, they’re well known for a reason! Doris Day is everything. Her smile is so gorgeous and she’s such a talent. Her in her early years is absolutely captivating but something about her later films in the 60s has me absolutely hooked. Bonus points for Calamity Jane being absurdly gay, she plays butch too well.

TYRONE POWER

This man was so attractive, even he hated how pretty he was. He resented always being cast in pretty boy roles instead of serious roles where he got to actually showcase his talented acting. Because of this, he apparently absolutely loved when he grew to look older (and allegedly less appealing. allegedly.) because it really opened him up to roles like that in Witness for the Prosecution. If you haven’t seen the original Nightmare Alley, I would check it out, I highly recommend and it was a hell of a passion project for him.

GENE KELLY

Who doesn’t love this guy? All the dance moves, all the charm, and an absolutely unreal shitter. Seriously look me in the eye and tell me you’ve seen a better ass than Gene Kelly’s. I’m not sure there’s much else to say that hasn’t already been said about him. Anyways that one scene in The Pirate where he tucks the cigarette in his lip, kisses the girl, then pulls it back out and puffs… wow. No thoughts head empty. Actually basing my next dnd character on Serafin.

VERA ELLEN

Ever since the first time I watched White Christmas I wanted to be Vera Ellen SO bad. She’s adorable, she’s an insanely talented dancer, and her outfits make me go absolutely crazy i’m so in love with every thing she’s ever worn. I remember watching On The Town after and screaming when I realized it was her.

CARY GRANT

Yes yes, I know this is full of cold takes but he truly is the actor of all time. Who cannot love this man? Like Doris Day I’ve sorta separated his films into younger and older Cary Grant, and similarly I must say older Cary Grant just has me down bad in a different kind of way. Anyways my favorites are probably Notorious and of course Charade which is the most hitchcock movie that hitchcock has never written.

RICOU BROWNING

Of course this little rascal is gonna make my list. It’s no secret that I’m absolutely obsessed with him and his role in Creature from the Black Lagoon. His life story is amazing and the fact he was so young while filming is mind boggling. Please please PLEASE do yourself a favor and just read through his life story real quick on wikipedia or something this guy is so fascinating. I just got a phone case with a collage of him on it. What a talented little fella.

HONORARY MENTIONS

Leon Ames

Paul Newman

Gloria Grahame

Jane Powell

Anouk Aimee

[princess-peregrine]

10 Most Read Authors

Thanks for tagging me @godzilla-reads

"what are your ten most most read authors? and how many books have you read by them? also tag someone who you would like to do this!

instructions: scroll to the bottom of your goodreads shelves and most read authors is listed underneath."

I don't use goodreads but here's what ibknow from my personal collection

1. Seanan McGuire (21 books) Seanan McGuire is an amazing writer and one of the hardest things to do is put down one of her books once you start, it's always a captivating adventure to read one of her books

2. Kay Hooper (16 books) I'm not done with her Bishop/Special Crimes Unit books but oh my gosh, she writes good. If i had to give a short and sweet summary of what she writes, it would come off as a trashy genre. But she writes possibly my favorite romances I have ever read. Once a Thief and Always a Thief are my favorite romace books of all time, and the reason I read them was because of a ML fanfic called Once a thief Always a Thief by, I believe, Saijispellhart, I think that's right, if you read that fic and liked it then you will love Kay Hooper

3. CJ Cherryh (12) this is possibly my favorite writer of science fiction full stop and i can't even get into it here because i would talk for ages, the message here is to read CJ Cherryh's books, for the love of Goddess read them

4. Jimmy Gownley (8 books) Amelia Rules is my favorite comic of all time with a close secomd being the planet Sakaar arc in the hulk comics

5. Diana Rowland (7 books) people just love her white trash zombie books, and foe good reason, but personally i loved her Mark/Blood of the Demon books a whole lot more

6. Victoria Laurie (7 books) i loved the first book in her ghost hunter mystery books, then 2 and 3 were a slog, and then the rest were good again, not sure what happened to the second and third book

7. Marrion Zimmer Bradley (7 books) ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew what the fuck is up with her ew ew ew ew ew ew this is what passed for feminist writing back then?! I've read incel rants with more respect for women than some of the stuff she writes!

Anyway she's an ok science fiction writer with a way of writing really engaging stories with a strong narrative voice, don't read her books, they really are not kind to women

8. Michelle Tea (5 books) go read mermaid in chelsea creek, go do it, right now, this is a demand, read mermaid in chelsea creek, cry about it and then come back to me and tell me what you thought about it, do it now

My favorite book from her is Valencia btw, an excellent memoir

9. Kim Harrison (4 books) don't ask me anything about her books, i could not tell you, i know what happened because i read them but the memories are jumbled up with details from the October Day novels

10. Stephen king (4 books) Stephen King is, ehhhh, i read him more for the status that he was a prolific writer and had a lot of popular books, the first one i read, which is still my favorite by the way, is The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon

Honorable mentions that i just recommend you go read because i love their books

Eileen Myles shouldn't need and introduction and if she does then you are living a worse life for it

Rob Reger who wrote the Emily The Strange books

Clive Barker who i have read quite a bit but excluded him for the same of smaller names (but you included stephen king) shut up

Wendy Holden, she didn't write many books but the ones she wrote were good

Dana Fredsti, her plague books are like brownies

Jeanien Frost, imagine if Kim Harrison was more memorable

Now i'll tag @scham-wcan @vivaciousarcanist @zerm2v0hg @far-side-skies @grimm-the-6th @overlordneon @transgressivepistoleer @mx-kit

[b4ts1e]

▀▄▀▄▀▄His Jealous Heart▄▀▄▀▄▀ (𝚏𝚎𝚖!𝙼𝙲)

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝙸𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚍: 𝙲𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝙷𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝙱𝚊𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚍 (𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍) 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝙻𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝙽𝚘𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚒 𝙻𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝙴𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚑 𝙻𝚊𝚜𝚝 (𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍) 𝙼𝙲 𝙻𝚊𝚜𝚝 (𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙾𝙻:𝙱&𝙰) 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝:

Sticking with the canon Step 3 ages, so both MC and Cove are 18. Making the MC demiromantic for this one for plot purposes, but please know that this doesn't make her straight or gay.

(𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗)

Sunset Bird was known to have many tourists during the summer due to it's beautiful beaches, scenary and the temporary lavish lifestyles everyone wants to have at least once in there lifes- living in a villa on the coast side is the American dream after all. However for some- that very dream was a reality. This was true for two specific families- the Last family and the Holden family. Sure one was more recent then the other- but that doesn't mean the kids who grew up side by side cared about that symantic.

Everyone knew who MC Last and Cove Holden were- the two love struck kids who have grown up closer than most, the two kids who were now 18 and openly in a relationship with each other. The two were made for each other, people would say- they technically aren't wrong. But every relationship has it's ups and downs, especially at this moment.

This was the third time Cove had gotten upset this summer, the third time he was upset at MC- his girlfriend. He had caught them hanging out with Baxter, alone. He was jealous, of course he was. His girlfriend. Alone. With a flirt. The thought upset him, especially since they were alone on the beach- no sign of anyone else around. Sure it was common for that side of the beach to be relatively empty since it was so close to the residental area, but still- the two should've broughten someone else with them.

"Cove I swear we weren't doing anything! We literally just ran into each other on the beach and chose to hang out, it wasn't planned! I would've invited you to go with me, but you were busy today with your dad's shop!" MC defended herself, but Cove wasn't listening- not properly anyways. "So? You could've brought Lee or any of our friends with you! You have to understand what it looks like to see your girlfriend with another guy, alone!" He replied without thinking, silently accusing her of cheating- his own insecurities blinding him.

"Are you serious right now Cove?" MC started, visibly hurt by the accusation. "I'd never do that in a thousand years, you should know that by now! I'm allowed to have other friends and I don't feel that way towards him! We just met him not even a month ago Cove! You remember how long it took me to fall for you? Years Cove. Years. Not a couple of days. And it hurts that you think I'd let someone I barely know take me away from you." she said, tears in the edges of their eyes. She was on the brink of crying- and that's when he realized just how stupid he was being.

"I-" he started, before being cut off by the girl in front of him. "No. Stop. Just. Leave me alone. I need some space." she said before walking away- going home, leaving the boy standing on his own outside of his doorway. As her front door closed across the street everything just clicked in his head- he had completely let it slip from his thoughts, MC is something called demiromantic. Aka a person who doesn't feel romantic attraction quickly, a person who needs a genuine connection to be able to feel romantic love towards another person. He screwed up, and he knew it.

Dejectedly, he turned to go inside- where he'd reflect on the big mistake he just made, trying to figure out how he could apologize to MC and how to make it up to her.

(𝙼𝙲'𝚜 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎)

I went up to my room, shutting the door quietly- sliding my back down against it until I was sitting on the floor as tears slowly escaped my eyes. I love him, of course I do- but sometimes...sometimes he says the wrong things. Quietly I cried for- I don't know how long, before being interupted by a few sets of gentle knocks. The pattern was Lee's. "Lee? How was the mall with Liz?" I said, getting up slowly- trying to make it less obvious I had just been crying.

"MC...let me in please." she said softly, obviously she knew I was crying- why wouldn't she? We've been best friends since she was born. Shamefully I opened the door, just enough for her to enter the room before closing it behind her. Lee looked at me with sympathy, sitting on my bed before opening her arms and offering me a small smile. Quickly I rushed to hug her tightly, knocking us both over- her back to the bed as she played with my hair carefully.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" she asked, her voice softer then the white poppies outside on the hill. She always knew when I needed her, I don't know how- but she always does. Just like a moment earlier this summer when I found out about my parents- about their accident. "Me and Cove faught. Again. He thought I was cheating on him with Baxter." I explained quietly into her shoulder- tears rolling down my cheeks slowly.

She gasped softly, her hand haulting it's movements through my hair. "Aren't you demiromantic? He knows that right?" she asked before her hand contiued to move through my hair, slowly detangling the hairs. I nodded into her shoulder, hugging her just slightly tighter- not wanting to hurt the shorter girl. "He loves you y'know that right? Cove is- he just gets lost in his emotions sometimes. Like the times he tried running away from home, trying to get back to his mom." she says, making me laugh lightly. Remembering the first time we met, and then that very same summer trying to run away with him- getting caught at the Sunset Bird sign.

"I know, but that doesn't stop the hurt y'know? I love him with my whole heart, hell I've been thinking about proposing to him now that we've graduated- but it's times like this that make it difficult." I explained, slowly moving to let her go- wiping my eyes as we both sat up. "Y'know- maybe you two need something like that. Like a promise ring or something. A cerficiation that the love you share is endless, something physical you both can look at when having doubts or far away from each other." My cousin smartly suggested, my eyes widened and I grinned- the idea becoming something increditably pleasing to me. "Y'know what? Let's go talk to Ma about going back to the mail really quick, she'll most likely want to come with- but that promise ring thing is very tempting."

Lee grinned and stood up, dragging me up as well with an enthusiastic nod. "I'll go ask her, you clean yourself up!" she said before rushing out of the room- excited to be going back to the mall. I smile softly before going to my mirror to make myself look I hadn't just been crying- so I don't raise any concern from Ma or Liz.

Once I was ready I went down stairs, seeing Lee and Ma sitting at the bar counter chatting- waiting for me. "Alright let's go."

(𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚙)

I stood at the poppy hill, looking down at my phone- I had just sent a text to Cove to meet me here. My leg was shaking due to nerves, which only elevated when I heard his heavy, rushed footsteps approaching the tree I stood behind. I put away my phone before revealing myself- I was more dressed up than before- this moment was important. But I froze when I saw Cove standing there wearing a dress shirt- holding a bouquet of my favorite flowers. He blushed brightly, seeing we both had dressed up for this.

"MC. Before you say anything I just want to say I am so sorry for accussing you of something so stupid earlier. I know you love me, and I love you just as much- but what I said was super uncalled for. I hope you can take these flowers and forgive me." He said, holding the flowers out to me- to which I took delicately, a blush blooming across my cheeks. "Cove- my sweet boy. I'm not mad at you, I know you can get lost in your emotions- just as I can. We're all human, we make mistakes. I forgive you, but please- hold onto these for a second alright?" I said, handing him back the flowers- pulling out an easily hidden box from my pocket.

"I spoke with Lee earlier, she gave me a really good idea." I started, him looking at me confusedly- tilting his head to the side a bit. I put the box in his line of sight, holding up- between the two of us, making him gasp. "This isn't a proposal, but a promise. A promise to love you to the ends of the Earth. A promise to never let something pull me from you. A promise between us that we will communicate better with each other. And a promise that I will someday marry you." I say slowly, tears bulbing in the corners of his eyes as he brought a hand to his mouth- covering his grin.

"Will you make this promise with me?" I finish, opening the box to reveal two necklaces. One had a white poppy charm and the other had my favorite flower charm- it was expensive, but worth it. He stood there shocked, but I waited patiently for him- like I always have. "Yes." he said quietly, nodding slowly- tears slipping from his eyes. In the distance I hear several people whoop and cheer, looking towards my house I see both mine and Cove's families there- watching us like a telenovela.

Cove put down the flowers and grabbed my hands shakily- closing the box for the mean time. He grinned shakily, it was obvious what he wanted at this moment, and I happily gave it to him. I pulled him closer and kissed him softly, pulling apart slowly and putting our noses together. "I love you MC. So much." he muttered. "I love you too Cove. Forever and always." I say quietly, not parting from the current closeness between us- enjoying the gentle and love filled embrace.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 1,706

[buffyspeak]

Aria Montgomery and Hope Mikaelson for the ask game <3

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian! @all men LEAVE HER ALONE. that means you ezra!! Gender Headcanon: cis female, uses she/her pronouns. i A ship I have with said character: every single girl she interacts with an no man ever. sparia and arison are probably my two faves for her, though. A BROTP I have with said character: all of the liars, but i also enjoy her friendship with holden and i feel like she has a couple of nice scenes with caleb and maya. i always like it when they show characters being friends with their friends signifcant others. A NOTP I have with said character: e*zria. LEAVE HER ALONE. the fact that they get married.. ugh. A random headcanon: i feel like i can see her getting really into designing tattoos as a hobby. idk why all my headcanons have been tattoo based so far. General Opinion over said character: i think she's far more fascinating (and more sympathetic tbh) than fandom at large gives her credit for, and it is absolutely devastating to me that she ends the show married to a man who stalked, groomed, and abused her. anyway.

Sexuality Headcanon: i think she's canonically bi? even though the writers never actually wanted to give her a female love interest. (not that someone has to be dating someone of the same gender to BE bi ofc. it just. feels like the writers paid lip service to hope being Queer Represntation as a little pat on the head for fans but they never seriously considered pursuing a love story outside of landon for her, even if she eventually came back to him. anyway bi queen <3 Gender Headcanon: honestly i could see nonbinary they/them hope. but my gender and sexuality headcanons truly tends to be whatever feels right at any given moment. A ship I have with said character: i feel like legacies is really ripe for multishipping. my first and probably still biggest ship is hosie, and despite that huge rant, i don't hate handon lmao, or handosie <3. but i also enjoy hizzie and hafael and cleo x hope. A BROTP I have with said character: hope and mg... we should have gotten more of them <333 A NOTP I have with said character: alaric x hope, which apparently is a thing for some people? and like i am not an anti and people can ship what they want but it is Not For Me. A random headcanon: hope does a lot of world traveling after the show and goes to lots of fun art museums!! General Opinion over said character: i really like a lot of what they tried to do with her when it came to her grief for her parents and how that made her especially protective of/worried about losing landon specifically, even though at times it did feel like the show came too much about that for my taste. i have some issues with the tvdu's no humanity mechanism honestly (it does not make sense. also it feels a little weird and ableist to imply that people who don't experience emotions or are experiencing them differently are less human. but i digress), but i think what they did with for hope's character in s4 and how it was triggered by landon's death but truly just showed how she'd been struggling for a long time and needed healing for more reasons than just that was interesting. even if the execution of her story didn't always land right for me, i appreciate what they were trying to do.

[demonicrosebushsims]

Pandora Mae Looking for Love

A Bachelorette Challange by DemonicRosebushSims "So, this is where I start talking, right? So yeah, hi! I'm Pandora Mae Holden, nice to meet you! I'm a alternative model and social media personality. So people would call that an influencer, but that makes me always thing of those Kardashian girls, and lets me real, I don't look like them. #notlikeotherinfluencers I guess. Anyway, I love meeting new people and while I'm a bit of a workaholic, sometimes it's nice have someone waiting for you at home. So yeah, I'm 26. Moved to the big city when I was 18 to become a model. I always loved goth and other alternative fashion, so once I started modeling, I quickly fell into the alternative branch. People say my look is a bit too harsh, but deep inside I'm a big softy. I'm a massive nerd, and a massive neatfreak. Yeah, I don't like messy places. I'm also a hopeless romantic, I just like romantic shit. What am I looking for? Someone nice. Someone with a good sense of humor. Someone to share my life with, even my silly hobbies. Oh what they are? I love watching Horror Movies, playing Video Games and Working out. So yeah, hope to see you all in the Sulanian Villa! I'm very looking forward to meeting you!"

YES! I'm finally doing a Bachelorette Challenge. I was messing around in CAS and came up with this cutie and I just had to use her for something. Just a few things before we get started: - You can send in your sims until August 1st and I'm planning on starting to post on my birthday which is August 15th. I will pick 7 sims, so I have a full house if I include Pandora. If I don't have enough Sims, I will extent it with a week. - Pandora is bisexual, so any Sim is welcome. Male, Female, Enby, any shape or size, Occult, Human. The only Occults I will have to turn down are Werewolves, since I don't own that pack. If you create a Vampire, please make them immune to sunlight, as they will live in Sulani. - They have to be in the Young Adult or Adult Life stage. Of course, they can actually be thousends of years old if they are Occults, but they have to be in the YA or A life stage. - Give your sim a least one negative treat and no Romantic treat. We want it to be a challenge. - Give your single sim some skills. 15 skill points max. - If you use CC please, keep it mostly Maxis Match. I’m okay with a little alpha make up, but no Alpha Hair, Skin or Clothes. - If you use things form packs I don’t have, that’s okay. I will replace it with CC or things from packs I do have. - Either tag me in your post and use the hashtags #Pandora Mae or #DRS Bachelorette Also if you feel like it, fill in these questions, so I can get to know them better. Name: Age: Gender and Pronouns: Sexuality: Traits: Back Story: Anything else you want me to know: I am looking forward to see your single sims! Good luck! :)

[go-go-devil]

Top 5 autistic headcanons and top 5 aroace headcanons?

TRIPLE A LET'S GOOO!!!

Autism:

Dale Cooper (Twin Peaks): One of the most obviously autistic characters to ever grace television. The allistics just didn't get it probably because he was "too social" or whatever other slight deviation from what's stereotypical in autistic characters

Kris (Deltarune): I genuinely believe Kris is deliberately autistic-coded, mostly due to that "How to Care for a Human" book you find in the library in Chapter 2 but even beyond that all of their described behaviors are SUPER relatable to me as an autistic person (and bring me back to how I felt about it in my youth...)

Daniil Dankovsky & Various Other Characters (Pathologic): Thank you once again for showing me the light in how truly autistic Daniil is at his very core <3 Besides him though I'm also in agreement with the very code of Classic HD that Peter Stamatin and Grace are on the spectrum (tortured savant and death-obsessed weird girl rep respectively), but I would also argue that Yulia Lyuricheva is autistic as well. I mean the woman is described as someone who "sits in the corner and quietly observes others" and invented an entire philosophical theory in an attempt to explain the pattern of random events invisibly triggered by people. That's what we in the business call STEM-influenced autism :)

The Lodger (Knock-Knock): Yet another video game character that is so intensely autistic. Willingly living in isolation, simultaneously longing for and hating the presence of guests in your house, talking to yourself while pacing through the hallways & infodumping about the most niche scientific field imaginable? It's so relatable 🕯

Diane Nguyen (Bojack Horseman): This one maybe doesn't have the most "evidence" compared to the others per say, but I honestly found myself relating to a lot of Diane's personality quirks and struggles AS an autistic person (ex: hating surprises, trouble regulating her emotions/prone to emotional outbursts, having the most specific overly-convoluted Halloween costume ever). With her I think I'm more in the minority for this hc since her other mental illnesses overshadow her autistic traits, plus her's aren't nearly as obvious as Juda's (who as far as I'm concerned IS canonically autistic even if it's not outright stated by the characters)

Aroace:

Patches (Soulsborne Series): There is no fucking way this man has ANY desire for sex and romance. The only hole he's interested in are the enemy-infested ones he can kick you down! Plus I do know of that one famous line he says in Dark Souls 3 which he claims to be "devoid of all worldly wants" so this might as well be canon

Artemy Burakh (Pathologic): I don't care what the shippers think, I just love the idea of Artemy having a narrative revolving around the concept of "love" while being alienated and eventually coming to terms with how he himself doesn't experience this emotion in a socially conventional way. Besides just 'cause he's aroace in my mind doesn't mean he can't form QPR's ;)

Death of the Endless (The Sandman): ABSOLUTE AROACE ICON! She's a being who loves humanity, but keeps a reasonable distance between any individual person due to her role in taking their souls upon their death. Though instead of being all moping and "oh I can never allow myself to truly be close to those I love T_T" she's instead endlessly jovial and enjoys every second of spending time with other humans in a platonic fashion, brief as those seconds are in the grand scheme of her job. If that ain't actually positive aroace rep I don't know what is 🖤

Every Character in Hylics: All of them are aroace. They're functionally immortal clay aliens who probably don't even need to procreate in traditional means to produce new life, and besides they're more interested in prog rock than romance anyway 🌙 🎸🌯

Holden Caulfield (The Catcher in the Rye): A very personal hc for me. Reading that book was one of my earliest instances of me relating to a character for their lack of desire for sex and romance; in particular the whole story about Holden losing his best friend Jane due to her no longer valuing him as a friend and wanting a boyfriend instead, to which he couldn't find himself filling that role. It's just such a vivid portrayal of THE aroace experience of having your platonic connections become "lesser" in the eyes of society, and it really pisses me off that so many contribute this character trait of his as something "he refuses to grow out of" because no it fucking isn't! But then again most analyses of this book are godawful ableist pieces of shit so I'm not exactly surprised there's a lack of meaningful analysis on the main character being sexually deviant alongside his mental disorders

[fallin4fiction]

Struck by Love Gen 8: Teens in the House

Since, Heath was now a teen, I took the opportunity to give him the woohoo talk.

Holden: So basically, risky woohoo is on for teens, so make sure Mr. Happy wears a raincoat, or don’t mess around at all. Your mother and I are too young and hot to be grandparents.

Heath: Ugh,thanks for the talk, I guess.

The kids invited some other teens around and Kendra got to meet the famous Li Beckett of the High School Years trailer. Of course the first thing he did, was show off his cameo in the trailer.

After meeting Liam, Kendra met her second cousin, Jennifernin the bathroom

Kendra: Hi, you’re great aunt Zelda’s kid, right? I’m Kendra.

Jennifer: Jennifer. Don you mind? I’m trying to have a conversation with my non-boyfriend, Jackson Pleasent here.”

That interaction left Kendra a bit embarassed and she was relieved when she ran into Edward, psyching himself up for something in her parent’s bedroom mirror.

Kendra: So, I just ran into my second cousin in the bathroom of all places. She didn’t seem happy to see me, burning not the one who decided to have a private conversation with someone in the toilets.

Edward: Sims are weird

Kendra: Says the guy who randomly decided to sit next to a crying girl eating cake. Anyway, a school dance is coming up and you haven’t been around other teens a lot, so. we should go together…as friends.

Edward blinked a couple of times as if he was in disbelief to be asked to such a staple teen event.

Edward: sure, I would love to go to the dance with you.

[jaggedwolf]

pll rewatch 2x17

Emily (and even her phone) are dragged into being secretaries for her friends’ heterosexual dramas :/ 

Emily literally does not have her own plotline this episode, she just gets absorbed into the Spoby drama. Don’t get me wrong, there’s stuff I love here, like Emily’s comically bad “Spencer is unable to come to the phone right now”

But I am pretty meh on Emily not getting her own stuff to do, and the way the disparity between f/f and f/m relationships on the show feels starker in S2

It’s good/convenient that Caleb is a newcomer to Rosewood, so that when he hacks these videos of a bunch of weirdos hanging out in Ali’s room, it’s not like he has any prior beef or knowledge that would skew his efforts

The girls all think Holden is gay because he’s never tried to kiss Aria. Aria, the one true test for any boy’s heterosexuality apparently. 

Do enjoy Emily looking a little smug as she explains what a beard is, even though everyone clearly knows.

My notes: “I’m so bored of Ezria.” Indeed.

We get another glimpse of Halloween 2008 when the girls find the threatening notes A sent Ali, which is a nice connection that episode. Ali really was experiencing it all that night huh.

Toby gets injured via the wobbliest scaffolding sabotage. A really does not want Spoby to date, is extra invested in it, and I’m unclear why. 

I mean, A threatened Ezria with reveals before but A saved Ezria via framing Noel and A has never put Ezra’s life in danger.

I wonder if it’s because Toby seems like the SO most likely to be told about A, given that he was investigating Ali’s murder with Spencer back in S1.

Most likely until Spencer’s protective instincts are kicked into overdrive here.

Toby gets to wake up to Jenna giving him all the standard abuser lines blah blah you can’t trust anyone but me blah blah no one is going to care about you like I do blah blah 

Complete with creepy leg touch that makes Toby flinch

About Spencer, Jenna says “She’s haunted”. Not that Spencer is dangerous to Toby, but that Spencer is in danger, and by extension Toby’s in range to get hurt

Again, the girls really should tell Caleb, he’s already in danger if A can see someone is hacking into their phone. A’s not gonna be like wow, I bet Aria picked up Hacking For Dummies at the Rosewood Library and is the one exfiltrating my shit

Caleb confidently saying “I can protect you” to Hanna is very funny and very dude though, like bro you don’t even know what it is, and this angle of unearned confidence will only make Hanna more certain you won’t take the threat seriously

So Hanna destroys the thumbdrive in the blender. And later throws the blender in the trash can.

Hanna commits so much waste in this kitchen y’all. She’s thrown away a blender, just opened yogurt cups, uneaten takeout, my wallet winces at all of this. 

Jenna is so fucking weird to Emily. Why does Jenna always talk to Emily as if Emily ever wanted to fuck Toby. She’s gay, Jenna. Like here’s their dialogue.

Emily: How dare you come here.

Jenna: Emily? I’d ask you the same thing.

Emily: I’m Toby’s friend.

Jenna: Well, there was a time you wanted to be more than that. Good thing he didn't feel the same way, or things would be awfully confusing with Maya, wouldn't they?

Emily: You're lucky I don't take that stick—

Jenna: Mm, careful, Emily. Misplaced anger can be dangerous.

Is Jenna just sooo distracted by her own rapey ways that she thinks everyone wants to fuck Toby. Maybe so.

Still enjoy Emily being terrible to the blind girl, always the liar most pissed at her somehow.

Oh so now Ella knows about Toby, where was this back when she thought Ezra/Spencer was a thing. Wait, didn’t Toby even come yelling in the police station about how much he loves Spencer too, while the other parents were there? Did Ella just assume Spencer was two-timing? Damn Ella

Anyway the Montgomerys are super into the Holden solution for their daughter, because they remain the silliest parents of the lot.

Spencer is so guilt-wridden about Toby. She stares through the window at his injured body instead of entering the room to sit by him. I very much enjoy how much the show has her brood, Spencer at heart should be a noir detective brooding through rainy windows

Spencer: Jenna's right. I'm putting Toby in danger, and I've always known it.

Emily: We've always done everything we can.

Spencer: It's not enough. It'll never be enough. I need you to do me a favor.

Emily: Anything.

As kicked puppy as Toby is this episode, I obviously care more about the Spemily angle here, where Emily agrees immediately even though she knows how deranged Spencer can get and does ultimately go through with the plan.

And the genre gender inversion of sorts, where Spencer, Emily, and Jenna are the actors upon Toby, while he is the acted upon, the one that is protected or hurt or violated

I like Emily’s little vest in the hospital scenes

I...have nothing to say about Ezra getting inspired by this random-ass student that we’ll never see again, other than I hate him. Not just for Ezria, but also because he stops his car in the middle of the road while it is raining to make out with Aria, thus blocking traffic. Park your damn car.

Got distracted wondering if the Hastings move when your daughter is dating an authority figure you don’t like is to hire a PI to follow him specifically to snag a photo of them kissing so that you can get him super fired and blacklisted everywhere.

Fields move would be police police police, Marin move would be to go :/ :/ but not actually do anything about it

While Toby and Wren talk I wonder if the show ever passes the reverse Bechdel test. I hope not.

Caleb goes to Spencer and Emily to offer his hacking services. They really are the investigative ringleaders this season, and Caleb once more proves himself to be the most integrated SO

Spencer discloses to Caleb that Jenna is trying to frame them, Garrett is helping her, and that Ian’s confession likely isn’t the full story. 

Not a bad set of facts, but it does overstate their certainty on the Jenna question, which will lead Caleb to focus on her