#anyway fuck healthcare and fuck doctors
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I think my new fielding question for a primary care doctor is:
"Hey my shoulder gets stiff and in pain and I can't move it right when do x activities
What do you make of it."
Cause oooh if they hit me with an avoid those activities imma swing. Aka a doctor did this to me yesterday. And I think the biggest reason I struggle to advocate for myself in the doctors office is because I'm so flabbergasted that they could possibly be so stupid. (That and also I don't want to come off as a bitch.)
Cause no one no matter the activity should experience stiffness and pain. And if they are you need to find out why. And if you don't know you immediately give them a referral to someone you think will know. Fuck off.
(also the activities I said it impacted were SHOWERING and Straightening my hair.)
#i have really bad joints anyway#like my hip joints and knee joints get angry at me a lot#and its the oh go to physical therapy#but i absolutely loathe the physical therapy office that my doctors office sends me to#like the one guy was helpful but then my next appointment with him he passed me off to someone#too busy chit chatting to pay attention to me the patient who was struggling with dizziness whenever i moved certain ways#you'd think youd maybe want to pay attention to such a patient#not to mention when she talked to me she would give me half the instructions#and then ask me if i did the second half of the task that she never told me to do#im also out a primary care doctor right now because mine moved away#and like i didnt care for her but she was helpful and trustworthy in some ways#and i was supposed to have a physical next month so im just gonna cycle through all my doctors office doctors#that are female until i find one who doesnt make me want to tear my hair out#this is also the doctor office that once had someone draw blood who they asked if they needed help#the lady said no#and then when she tried she hit a nerve and then blamed me for it saying my arm wouldnt stop bending#when i was in so much pain she put me into a panic attack#and then next couple of times i had to get blood drawn i could not be chill about it#anyway fuck healthcare and fuck doctors
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the mtt are lucky they don't have digestive systems and bladders because then they dont have to go through the absolute EMBARRASSMENT that is trying to pee in a damn cup for the doctors and not being able to pee not once. not twice. but also dropping the goddamn cup into the toilet. they are so,,,,,, SO lucky
#im so pissed at myself for choosing to go before the appointment. like what yhe hell man#DUMBASS!!!! DUMBASS MOVE!!!!!!#new kink just dropped reverse omorashi. the despair of trying to be able to pee but you fucking CANT#idk if ive gotten a bit more sensitive to needles but goddamn i didNOT like getting my blood drawn earlier#it was sooo soooo sooooo gross like dude. thats MY BLOOD. COMING OUT OF MY BODY!!!!!#get that foreign object needle out of my damn arm and leave my blood alone#i dont know which of the mtt would feel like that anyways#maybe killer because seeing the blood would be a bit of a wake up from the dissociation hes always going thru ans thats a nonono#like oh god hes actually here and part of the body and this is happening rn and thats HIS BLOOD#perchance. who knows. im about to down like 3 gallons of water#WORK BLADDER DAMN IT WORK!!!!!!! WORKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!#actually maybe all aspects of doctors appointments are like that for killer#the appointments are solely for caring for his body and all that so hes forced to be aware of all the shit hes got going on#no killer you cant just pretend not to see the several broken bones you have says the doctor#the doctor is horror and he's purposely making the appointment as long and drawn out and shitty as possible#just to see killer squirm and look ever so slightly more uncomfortable than he normally does. horrorkiller i love#dust is outside waiting for killer and when he comes out he looks slightly terrified#killer says man dude your husband is a fucked up doctor#dust says thats your husband too bitchass now shut up we get free healthcare#tricule rant
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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹
#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao#and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places#which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department#who that time also said that they can't accept me#so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly#which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit#i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders#& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare#anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3#i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand#UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting#the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless#so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help#even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try#then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put#that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell#my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again#so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming#but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go
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pharmacies should automatically give you (or at the very least offer) naloxone any time you get an opioid prescription
#and that naloxone should be free#i already keep naloxone in the house but neither the pharmacy or the doctor mentioned it???? which is wild to me#all this shit about controlled substances and “don't get addicted!” but NOTHING about naloxone??????#blows my mind#ur just expecting people to rawdog opioids possibly for the first time in their life post surgery & u offer no harm reduction whatsoever 😳#i don't think this is an individual failing idk how common this knowledge is this is definitely systemic#they didn't teach it to us even working in healthcare on surgery recovery wards?????#i remember sitting in class listening about opioids and when it got to the end of the lecture the prof still hadn't said#anything about naloxone i asked them about it and they said “what?” and i was like 😟 uhhhhhh#yk#the life saving overdose reversing medication 😭#and everyone in the class just looked at me n prof was like “why do u know that” and i was like “why wouldn't u teach about it”#WILD#we didnt even have any not locked in med stations and the nurses on these rehab wards sucked#so i always kept at least a one in my scrub pockets#anyway naloxone is really fucking important!!!!!! u can usually find some for free in ur county#i used to have a whole thing abkht where to get free naloxone and needles and stuff i need to find that#harm reduction#naloxone#opioids
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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#ngl i'm still having nightmares about medicine#logically i know that if I dont get in this year I'll go into some other healthcare field for a masters degree and try again in 2-3 years#but the thing is it FUCKING HURTS#this is everything that I've ever wanted and I can't help but think what if I never get there?#I'm so scared that I'll never be a doctor and that all my time and energy were for absolutely nothing#I'd be letting everyone and myself down so much#but holy shit I'd be a great doctor and I know it#the day that a med school takes a chance and accepts me will honestly be the greatest day of my life#I swear I'm not going to stop trying even if I'm 60 and still not a doctor#I'll become a doctor or die trying#I just really really hope it happens this year because I don't know if I'm ready for the heartbreak of another fucking rejection#anyway if any of you read this thank you for hearing me rant and ily#rant
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Whines bc im a few hours into my sleep and I'm not so nauseous now but my limbs...! My limbs, they ache...!!! And it's just all of them, the bone aches in all of them, so I feel like Peter Griffin Death Pose in this bed tonight
#speculation nation#sometimes the chronic pain decides Fuck You especially#i always have some measure of pain but sometimes it decides to flare in Multiple limbs. and it's never fun.#just laying here with pain radiating out of my limbs in a slow steady pulse#*why* dont i have a fibromyalgia disgnosis yet...? bc my fuckin liver readings were off & im waiting for a february GI appointment...?#would my Fucking liver make my limbs all hurt for no goddamn reason in their Bones?????#like i know my doctor is just trying to do her due diligence and if i have a liver problem that can explain the fatigue.#but idk man it's way more than just fatigue. and it's the fact that i have to wait until *february* before the GI appointment#that really gets to me.#if it was sooner id care less. like yeah lets cover our bases yeah. but i have to wait five Fucking months before i even have the Chance#to get a fibromyalgia disgnosis (and hopefully Treatment after)#and in the meantime my limbs will continue to Ache and Ache and Ache...#ive. lived with it up to this point. i can continue to live with it. as yes. this is just the rest of my life.#but god damn itd fucking be nice if i could get some Help for it ykno?#they cant rly change the chronic pain aside from pain relievers. which i dont wanna be too dependent on anyways#but just. idfk theres gotta be Something. some kind of treatment!!! massages?!? i dont know!!!!#i just know my limbs hurt and i have to wait At Least 5 months for a diagnosis (& even then it's not assured)#and it's just. so frustrating. i really hate our healthcare industry.#negative/
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absolutely godawful day. i don't hate my job itself or some of my coworkers but management can kiss my ass. fucking insulting how they treat us and there's nothing u can say or do about it.
#also. i am not spending time money and limited provincial healthcare resources so i can get a DOCTORS NOTE just so i can#wear ONE EARBUD to listen to music for MAYBE A COUPLE HOURS IN A DAY#are u SHITTING me. i provide u with my adhd diagnosis paperwork and explain how this would help. but the paper doesnt EXPLICITLY SAY#i need earbuds to do my job. so i gotta get a mcfucking doctors note. S C R E AM#i shouldnt even NEED TO MAKE IT A DISABILITY THING. THE NO EARBUDS RULEAS WRITTEN IS BULLSHIT ANYWAYS#ohhhh but ~its a health and safety issue so thats that~ oh yeah? then why the FUCK are u only bringing it up when ive countered ur other bs#it doesnt hold water man!!!#all this on top of my perpetual grievances re: my pay and how low it is. its just fucking demeaning
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biting maiming killing insurance companies
#theyre making me switch to a medication that doesnt work that ive already TRIED instead of paying for my usual meds#just to prove that it doesnt still work#and i already pay such a fucking high copay already!!!!#my doctor's gonna be pissed but i dont think they can do anything abt it unless i switch meds for a month :(#listen the american healthcare system is always bad but its been Extra Bad lately#anyways thanks for fucking with people's actual lives and health just so you can save a bit of money!#fuck you!#vent#personal
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Today I said to my doctor "yeah I've had like a dangerous mental health crisis any time I've been in long-term employment, and also my physical health seems to suffer quite a bit due to all the Conditions I Have, and both of these things make each other worse," and she really did turn around and say "hmm, we have a long way to go to make you healthy so you can work".
🙃
#like she genuinely means so well. and i can tell that she is a good doctor.#she is Going To Sort Me Out. she's Making Lists.#and i also know she only cares about the work thing because she knows that finances are difficult#and mental healthcare is expensive#but it's like. what am i meant to do#this only works if i can hold down a job first and i definitely can't do that#fucking sigh#at least shes bulk billing me#free doctoring is nice#otherwise that appt was $80 that i dont have#oof#sorry for the vent I'm fucking frustrated#i just want to make art and be gay is that too much to ask#anyway I'm just having a very. anxious moment needed to air it out#the system is fucking broken#I'm just too disabled to work a normal job why will people not accept that#'i want you to have a fulfilling career' I DON'T WANT ONE#i just want to like. organise things. just let me sort files or cards or books i will do that !!!!#just let me listen to a podcast and work reasonable hours and take regular breaks and sit in a comfortable spot!!!!#just be a human!!!!!!!#god fucking dammit!!!!!!!!!!!#vent#capitalism#disability#work#chronic illness#medical#the system speaks
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They should invent a type of dentist who shuts the fuck up and does their fucking overpriced job without comment.
#I need to go to the dentist but they're always so fucking rude and condescending#I'm never going to be able to do the sort of dental routine they expect and every time they go in#They spend the entire fucking time essentially shaming me#So then I don't go to the dentist until I have pain I can't ignore anymore#Like is it too much to ask?#To just go to get my teeth cleaned and fixed without comment?#Ur not even covered by healthcare and are considered a cosmetic service shut the fuck up don't talk to me#About how I live my life#(I know dentists are doctors but as long as they're technically a cosmetic and voluntary service they can shut up)#Like the last time I got my teeth cleaned the fucking tech was so rude bitching about how bad my teeth were#Like I was inconveniencing them being there#Like girl you only have a job bc ppl need their teeth cleaned like wtf???#Anyway I'll start respecting dentists when they stop being hoity toity ableist cunts tbh
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>be me, taking a specialty medicine that is actually really helping me >type of medicine you see in commercials >need to fill out a whole application with my doctor for their financial aid program to take it >need to re-apply every year >know it can take a while for the application process to be finished so i re-apply in may >my year runs out in november so that should be plenty of time >havent heard anything back in months so i ask my doctor if they've heard anything since they submitted the application >"if you got your last shipment, then you're re-enrolled" >yeah ok thats a relief >call the specialty pharmacy a few weeks later to schedule my next shipment >"we can't schedule your shipment, it seems you aren't in the program anymore. call the medicine company" >call the medicine company >"we sent your doctor a form a few weeks ago and they haven't answered us. call your doctor" >call the doctor >doctor is fucking allergic to answering the phone >spend two weeks trying to figure out what form they needed to fill out >it was the same goddamn form i filled out in may >doctors never sent it >fml >call the doctor again and pester them into sending the application "again" >(tell them the medicine company probably messed up instead of them so they don't get pissed and fuck up more shit) >call the medicine company two days later to ask if they got the application >apparently i need to babysit this goddamn application >they got it though thank god >need to call back in seven business days to see if they've approved it >give em eight days just in case >application got approved!!! >(apparently they didnt feel the need to like, notify me or anything. but whatever) >call the specialty pharmacy to schedule my next shipment >they haven't gotten the news yet so can't schedule yet >need to wait a day or two >give em two days just in case >call em again to schedule my next shipment >"sorry we can't schedule your shipment just yet because your doctor didnt specify on the prescription whether it's the pen or the syringe" >"i've been on the medicine for a year i know it's the pen" >"sorry we can't do it" >fml >call the doctor and miraculously get thru to a real person on my first attempt >"i'll leave a message for your nurse but she only comes in on tuesdays" >been the perfect patient >gave them several months for this application so i dont risk going off my meds >pestered everybody i needed to pester >still been off my meds for almost two weeks now bc my doctors cant do their fucking job >mfw
#sorry theres no punchline here im just fucking pissed#my doctor just had to fill out their portion of the form and submit it and they did not do either of those things correctly#american healthcare system everyone#i have gone through some annoying fucking shit trying to get an appointment or medicine but GOD. this doctors is testing my patience#(this same doctors office did the same thing the first time i applied for the medicine. so i went a year in misery bc they didnt submit it)#which is why im blaming them and not the medicine company to be clear#but anyway i think im going to lock everyone at my doctors and the medicine company and the specialty pharmacy in a saw trap#can you get my medicine to me in time or will you all perish?#(they die bc my nurse only comes in once a week)#just want to say that the medicine isnt like. life saving or anything. they arent actually risking my life with this#they r just making me miserable and in pain#im so mad im going to go play minecraft so im not mad
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I maybe potentially (most likely) have covid but my job is being so fucking cagey about if I’m going to be on the receiving end of disciplinary action for not coming in because of it. I have multiple symptoms of it and was in close contact for an extended period of time with two people who have tested positive for it. I went to get an official test from an urgent care place (because I was told I need proof for my job), and was told it would be up to 48 hours until I get results and until then I needed to self isolate and then obviously continue if the test is positive. They wrote me a note saying to excuse me from my job which I emailed to them. But they keep emailing me like “well the cdc says isolation is no longer necessary so…. If you don’t have a fever you’re supposed to come in” and now I’m so paranoid that I’m going to get write ups for not coming in despite having a literal doctor’s note telling me not to because all covid protections have been so thoroughly axed and it’s treated like any “normal” illness (though this shouldn’t be okay for ANY illness, not just covid) and if you don’t have sick time (which most places don’t supply at all, or if they do, it’s a dismal amount) you have to come in or experience the consequences and I’m just 🙃🙃🙃 so anxious about it and also I fucking hate this country for putting MILLIONS of people in this position where they have to choose between not going work but risking being fired and losing their livelihoods which leads to SO many risks if you have no safety net (and most people don’t) OR going in because you just don’t have a choice but you’re miserable and actively spreading highly infectious diseases to multiple other people. I truly don’t understand how there are people who look at this system and act like it’s fine
#I’m lucky enough that my job won’t straight up fire me#I’ll likely get a write up I think but I’ve never had one before and we’re so chronically understaffed that I won’t be fired#it’s still nerve wracking though…#and I know most people don’t even have THAT much of a safety net#I just straight up don’t understand how jobs can straight up be like ‘we don’t care that you have a doctor’s note come in anyways or we’re#writing you up’ like how is that fucking legal#because it’s America and all we care about is profit and controlling everything about a person’s life I know that#but still#not to mention the classism of the fact that most ppl can’t even get doctor’s notes anyways#that in of itself is a privilege#but Jesus fucking Christ#like I’m not going in tomorrow cuz I’m waiting on test results and healthcare professionals have told me to isolate#but the fact that I’m in this position at all is insidious#jobs should just be like ‘okay! got it! see you when the isolation period is over and/or you’ve been cleared by a doctor’#the fact that it’s ANY other response is deeply evil imo#never mind my health like I’ll be fine I’m a mostly healthy person#but everyone I could potentially infect that could then experience LIFE ALTERING or maybe even ending consequences????#I know it’s been said before but the flippant disregard for human life is so….#like I said I genuinely think it’s cartoonishly evil that it works this way#and if you try and argue against it or point out it shouldn’t be this way you’re just some crazy lazy commie or whatever#lord#kaz rambles
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#this isn't at all surprising but it IS disgusting and enraging#'you're costing us too much money. we're going to lie and say that your doctor signed off on reducing your dosage.'#among many other things#anyway this is all extremely par for the course for people who've faced these kinds of issues or who've listened to others who have#but. even so.#if you want to be furious read this ig!#at the time of writing his costs HAVE at least been covered but like. it took a lawsuit.#the only thing that really surprised me here was the extent to which company employees said really damning shit on the record#but like. they know how much power they have and how little power patients typically have.#anyway health insurance is frankly disgusting. i was lucky enough we never had to worry abt it when i was a kid#and now that i'm grown up and don't have any and hear stories like this… how the fuck did we get here.#healthcare shouldn't be a for-profit business.#the medical establishment
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i’m not saying i condone violence or murder i’m just saying if the fucks in charge of the state of privatized US healthcare just happened to disa—you know what actually i am saying i condone violent murder who wants to come with me and bathe in the blood of HMOs and HSAs and HRAs and everyone who has ever profited off our misery and sickness until all that’s left is basic fucking universal healthcare
#in case you couldn’t tell#my insurance provider changed in the new year#and it has turned my entire world upside down#if you think being trans is hard day to day just wait for being trans and trying to find a healthcare provider that is in your insurance#network and won’t hatecrime you on sight#anyways#fuck capitalism#anti capitalism#anti privatized healthcare#usamerican#usamerican politics#usamerican healthcare#trans#nonbinary#disability#cw doctors#cw healthcare#mine#bkabk says words#certified flop
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don t come near me with that ssri shit
#ssris are an ongoing pratical joke on the mentally ill by healthcare providers#ssris work for approximately seven people worldwide#and also they can make you die and make your dick/pussy stop working (occasionally permanently!)#and most commonly and notably if you prescribe them to basically anyone who doesnt have the precise chemical dysfunction that they target#it will actively crash their mental state. they can trigger bipolar and psychotic episodes in people already susceptible.#they have a very high voluntary cessation rate because they don't fucking work for most people and they have awful side effects#it is fucking insane that they are STILL the first resort go-to psychiatric medications for anyone coming in with mental health issues#for most doctors anyway#we literally have better safer and more versatile meds on the market right now as we speak
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