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loserlvrss · 4 months ago

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𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 - 𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜───── they don’t understand, but 𝔦'll hold your hurt in the box here beside me.

anton.lee &fem!rea. ⟡ 838HUNdrabble hurt-comfort, fluff ｡｡ est. relationship WARN!language 📻. archive

ⓘ call me back ꒰ req:yes/no @yudaies

“I got it,” You’d always say, “I don’t need help. I can do it.”

You were never one to ask for things when you were struggling; not even from the people who were supposed to be there for you. You could do it. You could handle it. You’d climb through hoops, or on countertops to get what you needed. You remain silent, struggling in the depths of your mind—a smile on your face. But, sometimes, you just wanted to cry. Sometimes you just wanted someone to ease the pain a little. To take the weight from off your shoulders and come uncover your soul. You wanted someone to see you, not praise you for all that you’d done. You were more than just cracked-glass.

Maybe it was because you had to grow up too early. Maybe it was because you never had that support engraved into you. Maybe having to act like an adult while you still played with dolls took its toll on you. Maybe you weren’t able to ask such a simple question because it was never met with anything but criticism—why weren’t you able to accomplish such a simple task? Why couldn't you solve this equation? Why didn’t you know how to put gas in a car, or change the oil? Why couldn’t you preheat the oven? Eventually, you asked yourself the same questions.

Why did you have to be dependent on people who were supposed to help you?

So, you never bothered them anymore—the fear of rejection strong.

You reached your hand high above your head, silently cursing yourself for putting things on the top shelf anyways. You huffed, feeling the deep desire within you to get off the countertop and find something else to hold what you wanted. However, there was a screaming voice inside your head, mocking your lack of attempt. You could reach a little higher, your fingertips were brushing it anyways. What was a little fall if you got what you wanted?

Would you feel accomplished? Would it satisfy you to feel pain as you rubbed at your bruised knees? Would it make you smile?

“Here,” You felt a warmth, a presence you’d grown familiar with, his body pressed to your back momentarily. Your heart beat unsteadily—from adrenaline, or proximity? “Let me help you.”

“No,” You looked over your shoulder, “I got it.”

Your faces were close, so close you could feel his breath against your lips. You never knew someone could look like that up close.

“I know you do,” He ignored your pleading eyes, knowing somewhere within them was just a mirage of what you wanted people to see. What you wanted to see. “But, I want to help.”

And that’s how it started; your undoing. The crumbling of the walls you built so goddamn high, even you couldn’t get over them. But, he picked at them pebble by pebble until he roamed your mind freely.

It was the small things: holding your jacket out for you to put on, brushing your hair after a shower, grabbing you a glass of water or a snack without wanting something in return, letting you vent instead of biting your tongue. He’d put your legs over his lap, and turn on your favorite show. He’d remind you every second of every day that you were beautiful if he could. He’d do anything for you to see yourself the way he saw you; wingless angel.

He never made you feel like a burden, normalizing the things that should’ve just been.

His soft voice would replay in your mind, a lingering touch on your heart—pulling the strings until they unraveled.

Maybe there was such a thing as everlasting love. Maybe there was such a thing as unconditional. Maybe you’d never felt trust before—maybe you’ve never actually loved before. Because to be loved is to not feel uncomfortable. To be loved is to not walk on eggshells. To be in love is to not make selfish sacrifices. To be loved is to listen. To be in love is to be on the same page. To be in love is to not feel like you’re at war with yourself. To be in love is to hear angels singing every time you look at each other.

“Anton,” His hands found your waist, helping you turn around and face him, legs now on each side of his hips. You knew you were fucked up, messy and little off-putting because of it but, you’d trust him because you wanted to, “I love you.”

The plastic cup clattered to the floor, along with the rest of your reserve. You were scared of heights, scared of romantic words, scared of receiving help, but ready to leap with his hand within yours. He’d hold your heart like it was the most delicate and rare artifact on Earth. He’d hold you like you’d float away—far out in space somewhere. He’d love you like his first and his last.

Because now you know, to be loved is to be healed, not cut open.

© loserlvrss 2025. 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱. >.< tags: @kstrucknet @k-films @blossomnet @starlit-network @bbangbies @gluion @slytherinshua @saxytalks @mystarsohee @seomisaho @chwesun @atzlordz @cyjzzl @minkilicious @takoyari @chenlezip @nctrawberries reblogs ─────feedback v appreciated !

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babybearnation · 5 months ago

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polyam!landoscar = red string connecting you to your soulmate(s); reader can see strings, but landoscar can't—they're already dating, but as far as they're concerned they've found their soulmate and that's that (even if they both feel something missing). reader is childhood friends with sighted!alex maybe and he realises that reader is landoscar's soulmate but doesn't want to say anything so he says something for them

(aka: non-sighted established landoscar; sighted reader who's too shy/scared to tell landoscar; sighted alex who meddles (possibly background logalex but :3))

im obsessed with everyone's rsv ideas, i wont lie - also we get some new rsv lore here regarding polyamory heheh

for more information about the world within red sight ‘verse, please read this post

non sighted!established!landoscar x red sighted!gn!reader (ft. red sighted!childhood bff!alex albon)

lando and oscar felt a connection the moment they met each other

they knew it'd be risky to start dating if they weren't soulmates but they went through with it anyways because the bond they felt was so strong

worked out in their favour though because, after sharing their first kiss, lando and oscar can see their strings... kind of

you see, lando and oscar unknowingly had a third soulmate - you

due to the rarity of polyamorous soulmates, it wasn't common knowledge on what would happen if not everyone involved kissed each other

lando and oscar could see their strings but they were faint, almost pink, and they couldn't touch them like red sight would allow them to

also, oscar and lando were almost positive they had two strings each but they could hardly see their strings and therefore couldn't track where the potential extra one led to

enter you

you know who their missing soulmate is

its you

the twined strings that looped around your finger always lead you to them and they tugged insistently pretty much every single race weekend

you were best friends with none other than alex albon and therefore, you had spent ages around lando whilst growing up and travelling with alex to his competitions and stuff like that

you'd known from the instant you met lando that you were his soulmate, but the extra string pointed somewhere else and it bothered you to no end

plus it nearly always tugged when you were at race tracks - less persistently than with lando's string, sure, but it still tugged

when oscar became alpine's reserve in 2022 and started attending every race track on the f1 calendar, you felt it every race weekend - you couldn't ignore it

when you realised it was oscar, you felt relieved - two drivers made things easier to manage!

but when you finally decided to do something about it, it was too late

lando and oscar were already together and they seemed perfectly content

maybe... maybe the universe was playing a cruel joke on you?

alex, however, was tired of watching lando & oscar play oblivious and was tired of dealing with a tragically depressed you

he was gonna say something

if it wasn't for his own soulmates stepping in and telling him that maybe he should speak to you first, he would've marched right on over and told lando and oscar the truth to their faces that very second

you talk to alex about it (george & logan on standby to control their boyfriend if needed) but it just leads to a big argument that has you storming off to mclaren

even though you refused to tell lando & oscar the truth, you still couldn't stay away from them and the three of you quickly became fast friends

so you rush to them for comfort without thinking about it

you end up spilling the truth to lando & oscar as you vent about how stupid alex is and its only when lando covers your mouth with his hand and whispers the words "we're soulmates?" that you realise what you've done

you go to apologise when lando leans in and kisses you

he pulls back and stares down at his hands, giggling and clapping excitedly when he notices the actually red string now

oscar bites his lip before shyly kissing you as well, gaining his own red sight

as you shyly tell oscar and lando the truth about how long you've known and how you didn't want to ruin anything with your strings, alex, george & logan watch on, all happy you three have finally sorted your shit out

#ᵔᴥᵔ fics #sir bear's sweetheart special #bear's inbox #koalapastries #lando norris #lando norris x reader #ln4 #ln4 x reader #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #op81 #op81 x reader #landoscar #landoscar x reader #481 #481 x reader #babybearnation

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tk-fandom-stuff · 6 months ago

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Hi guys it's a Christmas miracle that I actually managed to finish a fic 😝

Anyway enjoy this no crash and no jimjam fic!! If u tag this as ship I'll get u

If you want to read it on ao3 its right here

Fic under the cut!!

Curly stared at the scene in front of him, cursing the fact that his responsibility as captain means he has to deal with stuff like this. Daisuke, with a look on his face somewhere between sheepishness and a pout, is stuck in the emergency foam. With Swansea glaring at the kid like he's the cause of all his problems, unfair, but the kid was trouble sometimes. They've only been on the ship for close to 5 months and there's already been several incidents like this, usually with Daisuke as the unintentional culprit.

Curly can't ever bring himself to be mad at the kid though, he's a good kid and he only wants to help out, he just needs to listen a little better. “Well. I see the issue here.” He says. Swansea's glower is turned on him. “The kid was brought on just to make me suffer!” He snapped, “Intern my ass.” He grouses. Curly sighs, waving Swansea off, “Go, I'll deal with this, I'm the only one with access to the axe case anyway.” He ignores the man's muttering as he storms out of the room, the door closing behind him.

Turning around to face Daisuke, he raises an eyebrow. “How many times has he warned you not to mess with the vent now?” The kid pouts, “I was just trying to help! How was I supposed to know it would trigger the emergency foam?” He wiggles a bit while he's talking, trying to free his hands from the foam. He gets one out and starts slowly digging out the other hand, which is quite a ways deeper in the foam than the other one was. Curly clears his throat, and when Daisuke looks up at him, gives him a stern look.

“You should know better than to mess with the vent, it's collapsed inside since before this voyage and you've been told that it's too dangerous for even Swansea to try and fix.” He raised an eyebrow. “You've only worked on this ship for 5 months, you're nowhere near qualified enough to fix the vent, it could kill you if you try, at the least it would hurt you pretty bad.” As he's speaking, Daisuke droops, ashamed and embarrassed. He sighs, ruffling the kids' hair. “I'm not mad at you, kid, I don't want you to get hurt and Swansea doesn't either. It's why he's so hard on you.” He gives him a reassuring smile, which Daisuke hesitantly returns.

Curly stepped away to get the axe out of its case, pulling out the code scanner to make sure he puts in the right code. When he grabs the axe and starts walking back, he sighs as he sees Daisuke's nervous look. “Can't you just use your hands and pull me out? I got my hand out on my own” He says with an uneasy grin. Curly leans the axe nearby, resigning himself to calming the kid down. “It's too thick for me to pull you out of it, the only reason you could get your hand out was because it wasn't deep in the foam. And,” He raised an eyebrow. “You wouldn't be in this situation if you had just listened to Swansea.” He shrugged.

Daisuke still looked hesitant, and Curly struggled to think of something to help the kid calm down. The last thing he wanted was him freaking out and getting hit with the axe on accident. He thinks back to earlier in the week during game night, after losing at sorry for the third time in a row Anya had started to tickle him to distract him from the game. The tickle fight that happened could have gone down in history. It would calm him down, and Daisuke never seems to mind it. Plus, maybe it would finally stick that he needs to be more careful and listen to what he's told.

He raises a hand and starts poking at Daisuke's side, grinning at the immediate giggles it elicited. It was always hard not to smile when Daisuke laughed, he's so bright and energetic that his joy and laughter are contagious. “Waihahait!” He squealed and covered his face with his free hand as Curly moved to scribble at his belly. “Daisuke, I'm not even doing anything,” he laughs softly. “Liahahar!” He shrieked when Curly poked at his belly button.

Curly stopped to give Daisuke a moment to breathe before smirking at him. “Is that any way to talk to your captain?” Daisukes eyes go wide. “Waihahait! I dihihidn't mehehean it! Dohohohn’t!” He pleaded as Curly reached for his free hand. He halfheartedly tries to squirm away, but the foam might as well have been concrete with how tough it was to move through it.

Curly, pausing as he gets a slightly evil idea, hums to himself. “don't what?” He asks, hiding a grin. Daisuke walks right into his trap, “tihihickle mehehe!” He giggles out. Daisuke freezes, eyes wide, as he realizes that he just fell for the oldest trick in the book, and one that he himself uses often. His nervous anticipatory smile grows as he stares at the silently grinning captain.

Curly lightly drags his nails around his palm and down his arm, listening to Daisuke's panicked laughter fluctuate as he goes back and forth. “Awww does it tickle, Daiske?” He can't help but tease. He's met with squeaky giggles as he draws closer to his palm.

Curly waited, letting the anticipation build until Daisuke started to get fidgety. Then he strikes, spidering down his arm and scratching at the palm of his hand. Daisuke's giggles get wilder as he unsuccessfully instinctively tries to pull his hand away.

After a moment, he lets go of Daisuke's hand, giving him a moment to breathe. “Alright kid, let's get you out of that foam.” Curly said, picking up the axe from its resting spot. Daisuke nods, still giggling slightly, waiting for Curly to chop through the thick foam before shaking out his body from being trapped in the foam for a while.

When free, he rubs at his palm, chasing away residual tingles. He seems to remember what got his stuck in the foam in the first place, and his head droops, expecting a reprimand. Curly sighs softly, pulling Daisuke into a side hug and ruffling his hair. “Like I said, nobody's truly mad at you, just worried because you could have gotten hurt or worse. Just don't do it again and you'll be fine.” He grins at him, and Daisuke smiles back.

“And you should cheer up, don't think I won't go for round two. Now, go help Swansea, I'm sure he needs your help right now. ” He says, poking Daisuke in the side a couple of times. Daisuke squeaks and moves away a bit. “Okahahahay! Message received!” He laughed out, walking towards the door. He pauses at the entrance for a moment. “Thanks Curly.” He says with an embarrassed flush, before scampering out of the room. Curly watches him go with a fond smile, turning around to get rid of the rest of the foam.

#mouthwashing tickles #do i main tag this #nah #ler!curly #sfw tickle fic #sfw tk community #sfw tickle blog #lee!daisuke #sorry im indecisive about tags

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teineplaysveilguard · 8 months ago

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I first bought Dragon Age: Origins about two days after release, and I was instantly hooked. I played it six times back-to-back, just to experience every origin story. After that, I kept replaying to see every possible decision and its impact. Honestly I am not sure how many times I finished origins as it was over several platforms and accounts… but it is a LOT.

DA2 came out while I was in hospital (severe manic episode and psychosis) but as soon as I got home, I dove into it. I’ve written before on my main about how much I related to Anders, partially because of the timing, but honestly, I adore everything about DA2.

I have since finished DA2 NINETEEN TIMES! Honestly I love Kirkwall so much… I love everything about the tragedy that was Hawkes live. The tragedy of Hawke’s life, the way no amount of effort or care could fix the deeply ingrained, systemic issues—it’s gut-wrenching and perfect.

Fifthteen years later there are aspects of that game I still onbsess over, the enigma of Kirkwall for example… I had so many theories, none of which are likely to ever be addressed now…

Yes, the game had issues. All games do. Some of the writing was shallow in places; occasionally a companion says or does something that feels a little out of character. Anders and Fenris were treated like narrative mouthpieces at points. Aveline’s character development is a little questionable, and, of course, the copy-paste environments were rough. But for me, the positives—the depth of the narrative, the snippets of lore and background, the things I loved—overshadowed the negatives.

Do you know how shitty it is to know that all my left in the fade Hawkes just don't matter? Which ye I guess in some ways is fitting for the guy who accomplished nothing, who couldn’t even actually kill Meredith or Corypheus, for their final sacrifice to mean nothing… but still…

Then there was Inquisition. Once again I gain it on the day of release, I may have even pre-ordered it I can't rememeber… Anyway, I’ll admit I wasn’t sold on it at first. It felt too much like a “hero narrative”—which is hard to explain, but I couldn’t connect with it initially. The companions didn’t grab me right away either. But over time, I warmed to it, and now I’ve played it six (almost seven) times, obsessively picking up every bit of lore.

same with the books… the comics… that game in the keep that I forget the name of… I've even played the table top game and DMed it

And now we have veilguard...

I was so excited to go to Tevinter in game. Tevinter has fascinated by for so long.

And I… I cannot even put into words just how disappointed I am in veilguard…

I don’t want to be “that guy” who just tears it apart—plenty of people have already done the analysis, pointed out the retcons, and broken down how much lore feels ignored.

But I need to vent somewhere, and none of my IRL friends care.

In essence, the game feels sanitised...

But here is the crux of my issue, or at least the disturbing part:

I have zero desire to replay veilguard…

#dragon age veilguard #veilguard #dragon age #teine plays veilguard #veilguard spoilers #veilguard critical #I guess

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saberlight1 · 2 years ago

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— lost signals & tunes, coriolanus snow

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

warnings: slight tbosas spoilers, angst, mentions of violence, injustice in the districts, possessive!snow, trauma, kinda mean!snow, talks of a breakup, arguments, standard ballad of songbirds and snakes warnings.

authors note: i’m back for round 3!!! i’m so happy that you all like this series so far as much as i do. here are the links to part 1 & 2, if you missed them. this one is sad and angsty, i’m sorry. the song y/n sings is by frank santra! anyways, i hope you enjoy this one! much love.

masterlist

Since your last real conversation with Coriolanus, he had been acting different. He was colder, and you didn’t know if you were simply going crazy, or if he just going out of his way to ignore you.

But regardless, you were hurt. When you tried to speak to him, he would say he had somewhere to be. And maybe he did, but you just wished he’d spend time with you.

You missed him, really.

Lucy Gray frowned as she watched you from across the room. You and the Covey were all getting ready backstage at the Hob where you were set to perform shortly. Even if you were cousins, you and Lucy Gray were brought up as sisters and knew the other probably better than you knew yourselves.

She watched you as you were deep in thought, and she knew something was troubling you. She walked over, and with a click of her tongue she gained your attention.

With a raise of her eyebrows you already knew what she was thinking. “Lucy Gray, please. Not right now,”

She raised her hands up in surrender, sitting down next to you on the couch. “I was just gonna ask what was wrong,”

“I’m sorry,” You sighed, rubbing your temple. “I’m stressed out,”

“Talk to me,” She softly smiled, her hand coming up to comfortably rub your shoulder.

“Coriolanus has just been acting weird, and I don’t know why. I think.. I think when we were at the lake I said something that he didn’t like, or something.” You vented. “Just ever since we got back, he’s been off. Or maybe I’m just delusional.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at yourself. “Christ, Gray, I’m loosin’ it.”

She giggled. “You got a bad case of the love blues, it sounds to me, Y/N.” She repeated the same thing your mothers used to say all the time when talking about past relationships.

A small smile blessed your features. “I think you may be on to somethin’.” You sighed, again. “I just wish he’d at least talk to me, y’know? Let me know whatever I’ve done, so I can fix it, or if he wants to break up just fuckin’ tell me. I hate when shit just lingers.”

“I know.” She shook her head. “Listen, if he doesn’t realize how damn good he’s got it, then he ain’t worth it. You know better. And I know you two got history and what not, but if he stressin’ you out so bad you can’t even enjoy a performance, I’d say ya need to talk to the boy.” She explained, shrugging. “Or leave his ass. You deserve better,”

You chuckled. “Only you, Lucy Gray, could manage to make me laugh while talking about my relationship problems.” You shook your head, playfully.

A smile came back to her face. “You know it, now, c’mon we got a show to play.” She stood up, holding her hand out for you to take.

She brought you over to the rest of the Covey, Issac immediately bringing you into a side hug.

“Aye, sis, you want me to kick that boy’s ass?” He asked, smiling goofy.

You laughed. “No, please.”

“Alright, alright.“ He shook his head. “Let’s go, folks!”

Once you all were out on stage, all of the struggles and worries wrestling around your mind faded, and a smile brightly displayed on your face as you sang along with your family. You didn’t even realize how fast it was going by because you were enjoying yourself.

Until you saw his smirk in that crowd.

You were scanning the crowd as normal, loving to see all of different people coming to together to enjoy music when you saw him. He was in the back of the room, alone, his arms crossed over his chest as he smirked at you.

His gaze almost made you feel uneasy, his sharp eyes boring into yours. Lucy Gray wrapped up one of her songs, turning on her heel and winking at you, her signal to let you know it was your turn on the mic.

You sighed before standing up, grabbing your guitar and walking up to the mic.

“Hey, twelve,” You smiled, looking at the crowd. “How y’all doin’ tonight, huh?” They all cheered in return, making your smile grow bigger. “That’s what I like to hear! Alright, here’s the song.”

Over and over, I keep goin’ over the world we knew.

You began, singing deeply and sharply into the mic, staring into Coriolanus’ eyes.

Once when you walked beside me,

That inconceivable, that unbelievable world we knew,

When we two were in love.

Your eyes burned into his as the rest of the world seemed to fade away, leaving only you and him as you sang to him. He knew it was about him, most of your songs were.

And every bright neon sign turned into stars,

And the sun and the moon seemed to be ours.

Each road that we took turned into gold,

But the dream was too much for you to hold.

Your voice boomed across the pub, the couples holding each other and the singles downing their shots in misery. You touched all their hearts with the song, somehow. His eyebrows furrowed as he truly listened to the lyrics, seeing how you wrote about your love and pain, and he wondered if it was still about him.

I mean, he hadn’t hurt you, right? He didn’t think him ignoring you for a week or two would push you this far.

Now, over and over I keep goin’ over the world we knew.

Days when you used to love me.

Issac and Cece took over for the music break, as you turned to blink away the tears that threatened to spill.

And every bright neon sign turned into stars,

And the sun and the moon seemed to be ours.

Each road that we took, it turned into the gold,

But the dream was too much for you to hold.

The tears only got closer to dropping from your eyes as you kept singing, just trying to get through the song. You tried focusing on the beautiful music the Covey produced behind you and put your all into your singing.

Now, over and over I keep goin’ over the world we knew.

Days when you used to love me,

Over and over I keep goin’ over that world we knew.

You finished with one last strum of your guitar, and the melodies of Lucy Gray and Maudie Ivory next to you. The crowd erupted in cheers and claps.

“Thank you!” You smiled as the rest of your family joined you, bowing. After saying your goodbyes, you stalked off stage as fast as you could, ignoring the concerned gaze from Coriolanus.

“Your singing was beautiful, I love that song.” Lucy Gray said as she walked beside you. “But I do want to give that boy a stern talkin’ to for makin’ you feel that way.”

You grabbed her wrist. “No, Lucy. Let me talk to him.” She looked at you with raised brows, the pair of you exchanging words with your eyes. Eventually she nodded, stepping forward and letting you walk.

You walked through the corridor that led back out to the dance floor, your eyes looking for that familiar face. But it seemed to be that he found you before you could find him, the man already walking towards you.

You crossed your arms, turning on your heel to walk deeper into the corridor so no one would be around. You knew he’d follow, so you leaned against the wall, popping the gum in your mouth.

“There you are,” He called as he turned the corner, seeing you standing there. He walked over to stand in front of you. “Y/N, that song—”

“Cut the shit,” You cut him off. “What’s been goin’ on with you, Coriolanus?”

His eyebrows furrowed at your forwardness. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you avoidin’ me. You been actin’ weird since the lake, Coryo.” You sighed, pushing yourself off the wall to get eye to eye with the man before you. “If this is about what I said about runnin’ away..”

He rubbed his temple, staying silent.

“Coriolanus, do you expect me to enjoy life here? Watchin’ people get hung every other day, scared for my own damn life? My families lives?” You threw your arms out, scoffing. “Why would I want to stay?”

“Because of me!” He cut off your rant with a whisper yell. “I wanted you to want to stay, with me. Or.. come with me to the Capitol.”

“You know how I feel about that.”

“I know. And I wish I could change that.” He stepped forward a bit. “Because I don’t want to be away from you, Y/N.”

Your eyes softened. “Coryo, I don’t want to be away from you either. Hell, I’ve been thinkin’ about you for weeks just because you didn’t talk to me,” You bitterly laughed at your own foolishness. “But, look, if this is gon’ cause a problem between us, then maybe we should just call it off here, ‘cause even if it’ll hurt like hell, if we don’t got trust in each other then we got dirt.” You shrugged, even though the words you spoke felt like a dagger to the heart.

“No.” He shook his head immediately, his hands reaching out to grip your hips, almost seeming to make sure you wouldn’t run. “I’m not letting you go, no. Definitely not over this.”

“Then what do you want from me?” You asked, your eyes flickering between his. “You iced me out for 2 weeks because of what I said, then when I give you a solution, you say no?”

“Because that solution is us not being together.” He said, firmly. “That is the last thing I want. This whole thing started because I’m afraid of being away from you, Y/N.” He finally admitted.

You sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me that? We could’ve worked this out together.”

His hands slid up your body to cradle your face. “I was afraid. I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean for this. I didn’t mean to hurt you,”

You looked down. “You scared me, you asshole. I thought you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

He frowned, tapping softly on your cheek to get your attention back onto him. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, I always want to be with you. We will figure this out, I promise you that. I.. I’m just not good with talking about things with people, y’know…”

A soft smile spread over your face. “Yeah, I know. Just.. talk to me next time, okay? I hate when we don’t talk.” You said, walking into his arms.

He sighed happily at the contact, nuzzling his face his your hair to inhale your scent. “I will, my love.” He sighed, pulling back and licking his lips. “That song, though, it was beautiful. What is it called?”

You continued to smile. “You didn’t figure it out? It’s called ‘The World We Knew’ and, before you even ask, yes, it’s about you.”

His smiled slowly faded. “I made you feel that way?”

You swallowed, your smile gone as well. “Coryo.. these past two weeks, I thought it was over between us. When I wrote that, I was trying to come to terms with it.”

“Well, now you know that we’ll forever be in that world we apparently knew.” He joked, making you giggle.

He leaned forward to place a loving kiss on your lips, causing you to moan against his lips. He pulled back at the noise, looking at you with a smirk. “I have just the idea to make it up to you,”

You laughed when you saw that glint in his eye, kissing him again. “Show me what you got, big boy.”

#coriolanus my bae #coriolanus angst #coryo x reader #coriolanus x you #coryo snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus fanfiction #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbsoas #coryolanus snow #coriolanus snow fluff #corio snow #coriolanus imagine

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shocked-collar · 2 months ago

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okay but AU where Ren and Lawrence actually better each other, of course unexpectedly.

Lawrence needs an anchor. He has always felt this way. He always thought of said anchor to be like... being institutionalized or something, though. He never thought another person, another being, somehow just like him but not, could be so beneficial to finding his place.

Ren needs someone. Full stop, he just needs someone. Not a someone like his mother, not a someone like Strade, but someone he can look after, a need which he has mistaken for control. Even in the beginning of his route he neglects Strade's mean nature in favor of catering to his captive, only catching himself "being too soft" after he doesn't get the results he's looking for- but was he looking for those at all? Or was he just looking for things to go his way? Ren wants so bad to be in Strade's shoes, but... I don't really think he does. I don't think he wants something to control, I think he wants something to nurture. He wants the same dynamic he had with Strade, but is cherry-picking which parts of it. He wants to be that guy for someone else while deliberately ignoring the toxicity he's been put through as to not break his image of him. But then there's Lawrence, who is stubborn in his ways, yet just as fragile as Ren himself is.

Both Ren and Lawrence compliment each other. They are both standing on the fine line between humanity and something else. Neither are one or the other, both are in shoes nobody else can fit. This is what makes them fit. It was very hard for Lawrence to let him in, claiming he could never understand because there are other beast-kin's like him, but then he has to think about Ren's retort- the fact that not even they wanted him. It somehow brings them even closer together.

Lawrence gives Ren someone to nurture. Someone to feed, someone to spend time with, someone to explore, someone to help. Every time he helps him out with rent or groceries- actual, real groceries- he feels taller than Strade's shoes could ever make him. Lawrence is a fucking mess of a man who just barely has life figured out, who can't control himself, who caves so fast if the opposing voice is louder and sterner. He needs so much help all the time, yet wont ask for it, and that's what Ren loves. He loves being able to shift that mans mood so easily, and in turn, when Lawrence texts him first, it makes him shiver knowing someone, anyone is thinking about him- not when they need their dick wet or anger vented- but when they're daydreaming, or lost in thought, or bored.

And in turn, Lawrence, finding someone so unnecessarily generous on a forum dedicated to gore and hatred and violence, slowly begins to shift over time. Ren has been through a lot, he can see that much from his random jumps at objects moving too fast and the scars decorating his skin, yet he still finds the time and the effort to come over, or ask if he can come over, or ask if he wants to go out somewhere, or ask if he can join him on one of his nature walks. He's someone who was rejected by the only people who could understand him, he was victimized and forcefully shown how the world is silently stained in blood and cum and loneliness, he's told him how his mind and his body often feel that way, yet has gone out of his way to be present anyway. Show himself to the world he knows to be so evil because he refuses to hide from it, even if Law thinks that's safest. And he thinks that's poetic, and kind of beautiful. He thinks of him as a fool at first, but seeing him day after day soon lands him in a "misunderstood" category. Now Lawrence knows people like Strade exist. He knows people like himself exist. Ren knows that. At the very same time, however, people like Ren exist. That is a comforting thought.

The world is worth hiding from. It's worth locking oneself away from, Law thinks. But it's worth finding at least one person you can hide away with. The world is tainted with blood and cum, but it doesn't have to be lonely.

#IDK MAN IM JUST RAMBLING ABT THEM TODAY #idek if this makes sense i just kinda Kept Going and didn read most of this back #sry fam #boyfriend to death #btd #btd2 #lawrence oleander #ren hana #renlaw

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evereverest2 · 10 months ago

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Fire — Terzomega

~part seven of the Little Monster series~

~1.2k words

Omega receives advice from a friend.

[parts]: one | prev | next

an: i would like to apologize for a number of things on main here. one, sorry it’s so short this week. it’s not short bc i struggled to write it or anything, that’s just how i happened to plan it hehe. two, sorry it’s a few days late! i’ve been a tad distracted as of late, and perhaps a tad too happy to write such a filthy angsty story~ most of the distraction is work and school tho lol. i do a LOT of writing and rarely do i have time for personal projects. but anyway, thanks for sticking with me! rest assured little monster will continue to have semi regular weekly updates~ enjoy !!

—

“We believe it is time for the next in the chain of command.”

Applause erupted throughout the hall, drowning the space with a cavernous roar that rumbled in Omega’s ears. He stood at the back of the chamber, to the left of the entrance, ensuring there were no interruptions during the coronation,

He looked to his left, sensing a pair of eyes on him. Alpha squinted at him from beneath the mask, leaning towards him.

“Does she think she sounds good?” Alpha snickered.

“I’m sure Secondo appreciates her poignance,” Omega murmured back wryly.

Imperator, raising her arms from the rostrum at the head of the hall, continued, “Papa Emeritus the second has graciously stepped down from his position as head of the church to allow for fresh blood to influence our mission.”

“Stepped down?” Alpha jabbed. “That bastard went down clawing.”

“Rather ungraciously.”

Imperator droned on about leadership, new directions, quibbling about the Ghost project needing a fresh face. Alpha continued to nitpick her speech, much to Omega’s amusement.

But his mind wandered to Terzo, who he knew was waiting for his cue somewhere in the wings. Terzo, who he had reinforced their agreement with and had been regularly sleeping with for over a month, both in the literal and innuendo. As new Papa, he would not be so ignored as to be able to have a ghoul sneaking in every night. He would be surrounded by the Ministry, making any rendezvous between them more difficult to conceal. Omega enjoyed the secret they shared, those nights he could vent his frustrations through the physically carnal, and he wondered whether they could keep it up with this shift in responsibility. He certainly wanted to.

“—Papa Emeritus the Third!”

Omega was distracted by the huge swell of applause. At the head of the chamber was Terzo, holding his hands shiny with gloved claws up to the congregation. His face was painted as a skull, just as his brothers before him, but it was far different. A geometric inference of a skull, rather than a literal one. Omega tilted his head, narrowing his eyes in disbelief. Did Imperator allow this? He glanced at Alpha, who he sensed had the same thought.

“Looks like your boy toy stood up to Imperator.”

Omega was taken aback by the sudden jab. Of course, there was no way Alpha could have known. He must have been joking. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

Omega glanced towards the congregation, listening aptly as Terzo began to speak. He whispered, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you and the slutty pope up there,” Alpha replied, staring ahead.

Omega clenched his fists. With another glance around he swiftly and quietly dragged Alpha through the doors into the empty hallway behind them. The door shut with a gentle sigh of air, the hallway filling with a deafening silence.

“What’s your problem?” Omega growled.

“What’s my fucking problem? What’s yours?” Alpha growled back, ripping off his mask.

“I don’t know what—“

“Cut the shit, Omega. I know.”

Omega gritted his teeth. “How,” he asked flatly.

“I found you after practice— the last time you bothered to show up. You were in the garden with that slut.”

He took a deep breath. “And?”

“And you were dicking him down, asshole.”

Omega tore away his mask, dropping it on the ground somewhere near Alpha’s. He surged forward, snapping his teeth at Alpha. “Shut the fuck up.”

But Alpha did not back down, only bearing his own fangs in defense. “You shouldn’t be fucking with a human.”

“It’s none of your damn business.”

“It’s my business if you get sent back to the Pit!” Alpha snarled.

“If you shut your fucking mouth, I wouldn’t have to worry about that.”

“I’m not the one sticking my dick in an Emeritus.”

“Keep your voice down,” Omega rumbled.

“Megs, I just wanna know what happened to you. You used to be my closest friend.”

Omega glared at him unflinchingly. “Things change.”

“What changed?”

Omega growled again, his eyes pulsing with a violet rage. “I did.”

Alpha crossed his arms. “That’s it? You changed?”

“Are you going to keep your mouth shut or not?”

Alpha rolled his eyes. “You don’t even sleep in your bedroom anymore, let alone hang around us. You’re already too careless about this shit, if you get caught, it won’t be because of me.”

Omega narrowed his eyes, waiting. Alpha sighed.

“Yeah, I’ll keep your stupid secret. Who would I tell? My best friend doesn’t even talk to me anymore.”

“What do you want from me, Alpha?”

“I want you to tell me what the fuck is wrong!”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s about those quintessence ghouls, isn’t it?”

Electricity sparked around Omega’s fingertips as he attempted to keep his anger at a simmer. “Back off.”

Alpha’s hair began to smoke, ready to fight back at a moment’s notice. “It’s not your fault, Megs.”

“I’m warning you.”

“You don’t have to be the one to carry that burden.”

Omega roared, grabbing Alpha by the throat and slamming him against the wall, lifting him to be eye level, sharp teeth inches from tearing into him like the wild beast he was.

“Yes I do.” His voice reverberated out of his throat like a bow running along a bass string, dark and low and threatening. “Their lives are mine to mourn.”

Alpha clawed at his grip a few times, giving up to look him in the eyes.

“Well— fucking a human won’t make you feel better.”

Omega snarled, lifting him away from the wall and high into the air with only his hand. “Keep testing your luck.”

Alpha gasped, his legs and tail kicking against the air. His skin suddenly became as hot as fire, but Omega refused to let go. Even when magma red claws scratched at his wrist, his grip was firm.

“Megs— Please—“

Omega’s brow furrowed. He threw him to the ground, leaving him a crumbled up mess on ornate tile.

“Fine—“ Alpha gasped, holding his neck, “Fine— I don’t care about Terzo…”

Omega watched him with indifference.

Alpha caught his breath, looking up at him. “But I care about you.”

Omega scoffed. He shook his head. “I’m different now.”

Alpha rose to his feet, putting his hands on Omega’s shoulders. “I still love you, Megs.”

Omega glowered at him, saying nothing. For a moment, there was only the faint sound of applause within the chambers.

Then, they kissed.

Alpha reached up to touch his lips. Omega was surprised, so much so he did not react at first, Alpha was familiar, warm, almost too warm, an old flame that had comforted him plenty of times before.

Yet who came to the front of his mind was the very Papa they argued over.

Omega let the kiss die naturally. Alpha pulled away and stared up at him desperately.

“You have changed,” he said quietly.

Omega took a step back, his mind a storm of thoughts. He stooped down to pick up his mask, quickly adjusting it over his face, pulling up his hood again.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said before carefully creeping back inside the chambers, unable to face him any longer. Terzo was just wrapping up his speech. Omega hardly heard it. Alpha never came back inside.

—

[parts]: one | prev | next

buy me a kofi <3

#terzomega #ghost bc #the band ghost #terzo x omega #ghost terzo #omega ghost #omega ghoul #cardinal terzo #papa emeritus iii #the band ghost fic #ghost fanfiction #alpha ghoul #alpha ghost #little monster terzomega #worship the eversnake

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luffyvace · 2 years ago

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Aizawa crush headcanons

”aizawa crush headcanons, but like make him realize he’s in love with you at the end, so that like, he can do something about it or he can’t ignore it”

asked by a good friend of mine irl. she didn’t mention gender so i’m going with afab since i haven’t written for that yet ♡

(ps i’m not going to mention what type of person he would like unless you req that i want to keep this as neutral as possible)

aizawa having a crush on you means finding cats to take care of together

it means warm, comfortable, solidarity silence

he would still be himself around you for sure, he would want you to like him for who he is

changing himself is too much effort. if you don’t like him back he’ll have to move on whether it hurts or not

people still need teaching and saving after all and the world isn’t going to stop just for him

being a realist he’s aware of that

but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to clean up if you go out somewhere together (prior to dating, first impressions are everything)

he wouldn’t be afraid to tell you like it is if you ask for his opinion,

in his eyes sugarcoating things aren’t going to help you

but he wouldn’t necessarily be as harsh on you as he is on his students or mic

to woo you he wouldn’t really do anything above and beyond

he acknowledges that he likes you but he doesn’t want to waste time if his crush on you doesn’t blossom into something bigger

so instead of going all out he relies on things like little compliments, little favors and quality time

examples;

”you don’t look half bad today l/n”

”not too shabby, i guess” *combs hand through hair* (yeah that’s another thing, he’ll do little gestures to sway you but we’ll dabble into that more later)

”you smell fresh, that’s a nice aroma”

for little favors……

you: “ahh crap i left my keys in my car”

him: *magically knows a way to open locked out cars* you: *clearly having a rough day* him: *opens a window for you to vent* you: “awww man the last of ____ is sold out!”

him: “hmm..well, i’ll keep an eye out for when it’s back in stock” *the very next day* “oh yeah turns out i already had one i just forgot, here you can have it”

im not lying he actually did have one and forgot

as far as quality time:

inviting each other over for movie nights (he always falls alseep so you get most of the popcorn- 🎉 unless it’s his favorite movie- then he stays up eyes red and all, while sucking nothing out of an empty juicy box)

although movie night only happens when your closer friends though- he keeps his friend circle small because anyone could betray him and he doesn’t like people (he doesn’t hate them either he just stays to himself)

quality time for him can also be texting and checking up on each other

it doesn’t always have to be physical for him to feel appreciated

if YOU want to sway HIM though

get him a cat

self explanatory

but you can also listen to him when he talks, shoulder massages (only when your real close tho), give it to him straight.. definitely don’t be phony…and yeah!

pretty much be yourself

if he doesn’t fall for you himself there’s no way to convince him to

and if he falls for you it’s not for any facade you put on

its for your real true self

your personality.

he accepts your flaws and who you are but he will talk to you about bettering yourself a few times if they’re really bad and habitual (which he’s perfect if you have low self esteem because he’ll help you realize you might be overthinking and underestimating yourself, bringing you back to reality like the realist he is)

he’s not necessarily judgmental though

i feel like the part of him that’s not afraid to tell it like it is, is being misunderstood as him being judgmental

anyway that’s for when he has a crush on you

now its time for love

😍

okay so what (for), when, where and why right?

(“what about who? 🤓☝️“ YOU, FOOL!)

so what (for):

i dabbled in this okay? he loves your personality

for your flaws, your strengths, your weaknesses, your IQ (high or low), your fears

he loves everything about you

when?:

probably when you guys are pretty close

not him and mic close

but y’all have been friends for some time now

i say a couple of months

he doesn’t fall fast

maybe first though, if you an oblivious typa person

where (does he realize);

he was probably sitting on his couch after dinner, waiting for his shower to get hot, snug as a bug in his sleeping bag, drinkin a juicy box.

see the vision?

okay

so he was thinkin n thinkin n thinkin…

about you.

wait.

about you

why was he thinking so much about you.

omg wait..

he just remembered..

your beautiful smile (don’t care if it’s crooked, missing teeth, over/underbite- it’s GOREGEOUS)

your beautiful hair

your beautiful eyes

your personality

he realized he was thinking about you so much because…

he loves you

sits there head empty for a hot minute…

then falls asleep..

(rip water bill- shower still running)

why?:

wym why he fell in love? your YOU!!

your amazing even if he doesn’t say it all the time

or even if you don’t think it

even if no else thinks it!

someone does!

him!

he’s not the type of person to romanticize the person he loves

but he does accept you!

but as i said he loves you most for personality!

purely, truly—you

now let’s dabble back into the little gestures he’ll do to sway you once he realizes he loves you

for one like i said he’ll comb his hair in his fingers

and if he sees you find that attractive he’ll do it a little more around you

now keep in mind

your special

he doesn’t go around doing things like that for just anyone

no matter how small the change if it’s not beneficial he won’t do it

but this is beneficial

because he’s trying to court you ;)

he loves you, and he wants you to love him back now :)

but anyways

back on topic

he’ll also shrink his personal bubble around you

so now you can;

stand a little closer than normal

brush your fingers together

have your arms side by side

touch knees together when sitting

lay your head in his lap during movie night and he won’t say anything

(he wouldn’t pet your head but he’s not going to move you either)

rest your head on his shoulder as he does stuff/work (usually in private like when he’s planning his lessons on weekends)

speaking of that you can now come over unannounced and he’ll be glad to see you, ask you about your day, etc

back on topic to gestures he does,

his favors can get more personal,

like if you need to run errands but aren’t feeling well he’ll go shopping for you

(although i will say he doesn’t like shopping and has no idea what brands of products you normally buy he’ll do it to help you out)

he’ll also feel comfortable putting his arm on your shoulder (not around, on)

the gestures aren’t a lot because he isn’t the most cuddly guy (in my realistic headcanons)

but they mean something to you

AN: i tried to write canon aizawa more than fanon because it’s better that way to me but if anyone wants a little more cuddly/fanon aizawa i’d be happy to give it to them

i’m really happy with the way this turned out so i hope everyone can enjoy as well

ps: if you want specifically how he asks you out id love to do that (i might do it anyways 😋)

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thetreallysblog · 3 months ago

Text

DR.KEL'S DIARIES DAY 2

0:23 - I think my head is going to explode. I passed out right in front of the radar and fell face first into it. At least the glasses are okay, but cleaning blood off the console is going to be a pain in the ass. Whatever was in those woods isn't on the radar anymore. Did it leave? Did it hide? I don't know and I don't think I care anymore. If it wants me, I'm here. Do whatever the fuck you want. I need a drink.

0:33 - There are shooting stars outside. Pretty. I wish I was as far away from this base as they are. At least, if I'm going to die here, there's going to be a pretty backdrop.

0:45 - Bao and Noa sent me new working instructions. These fuckers still expect me to work? They still expect me to do their fucking bidding after all this? I hope they're watching. WATCH THIS, BAO

1:58 - I'm back. I'll admit, getting drunk off old beer and throwing bottles at imaginary cameras, while screaming at Bao to go fuck himself wasn't my proudest moment, but at least I got my anger out. I feel better. My head hurts and I feel like I'm going to throw up, but I can finally think again. Somehow, I managed to muster up the courage to go outside, ordered the hook from the shop and used it to fish out some sort of keycard from a window in the bunker. I guess being drunk and ignorant to danger has its benefits, huh. Anyway, that keycard opened up the bunker doors, which is good news. The bad news is that there is a second door down there, which ignores the card completely. I feel like I'm doing an escape room puzzle with these doors. My guess is that there is a second card somewhere, if we follow the puzzle logic. I need to find it, but that can wait until morning. I am feeling much better, but getting out there again doesn't seem like a good idea to a sober version of me. I guess I'm starting to understand why Dee had so much beer bottles scattered around. But I need my head cold and functional. I am not dying here. I am finding out what the fuck happened here and living to tell the tale.

NOTE TO SELF: The hook might come useful for getting around and, eventually, escaping, but I'm going to need practice or I'll break my legs, I'm not exactly an acrobat. Maybe I could start by getting the rotting whatever-the-fuck-it-is from the vents in the main room.

2:26 - I opened the vents. Good thing I decided to try and practice climbing the rope and didn't just pull down the vent itself. There was a Molotov strapped to it waiting for me to do just that like a fucked up Home Alone trap. Fucking hell, Dee, who were you hiding from? In the vents were a few packs of spoiled food (thank god nothing died in there) and a hideout. Someone, Dee, most likely, was hiding there from something. There was also a note, where he wrote about some figure standing outside and it's footprints. "I do not feel safe I want to leave". Oh, if only you knew how much I get you right now, you hoarding bastard. Maybe this figure he mentioned and the signal the radar picked up yesterday are one and the same. Fuck. If Dee made a fire trap to protect himself from it and still ended up as those basement remains, there's not much I can do even if I tried. Whatever. I am armed. I am not going down without a fight.

NOTE TO SELF: The note says this someone was watching him from a concrete pole. Which one? I'd better look around during the day.

2:43 - Oh, almost forgot, I also found a lead pipe in the vents. I think I'm going to keep it. I know it might not be as good a weapon as the axe, but I'm feeling better NOT using a weapon that most likely killed the previous crew. I also still have that Molotov, but it is kinda scary to keep it around, so I locked it up with the axe for now.

3:00 - Noa sent me some background on the pictures I sent him. I don't know if he's trying to help me find something out or he just loves rambling about history, but right now, he's my only source of information about the facility. He said that the bunker is indeed a safety bunker, but nobody knows why they built it and it's been out of order for a long time. This and the fact that it's actually securely locked, unlike the base, lead me to believe Dee doesn't have anything to do with it. So, what could be in there that ASO needs so securely locked away in a remote radar compound? That might be a whole different investigation, even deeper than what happened to the crew. Or maybe it's connected. Maybe someone opened it and found out too much, so ASO killed everyone to silence them? Who knows. This is moving more into government conspiracy theory territory than I'd like, but I can't rule it out yet.

Noa also told me that the freezer was built not by ASO, but by some W. Ziegler's construction company and specifically said it’s nothing special and I shouldn't investigate it further. This sounds shady as fuck and I don't think some construction company would just build a giant meat freezer under a radar base for no reason at all. I can't yet think of how it can factor into whatever was going on here, but I keep thinking about it. Something is so wrong about this fucking freezer. I would say the thought of it sends chills down my spine, but that's a pun too dumb even for me.

3:33 - I have a camera in my computer menu that wasn't there before. Where the fuck is it? Seems like some sort of elevator or something like that. Who's showing me this? Why? I tried to take a screenshot, but all transformers blew out immediately. Bao rebooted my power, thankfully; at least he's doing something useful. But where is this room? Is this inside that bunker? Seems like a warning. Which means someone IS watching me. The timing is too good to be a coincidence. The screenshot came out too dark, so I took and printed a picture of the monitor to have a better look. The camera is still there, but I can't control it in any way. I need to find this elevator. Or is this a sign to avoid it?

3:43 - The radar is picking up something again. Two signals somewhere in the mountains near the compound entrance. I am not alone again. Fuck. Is one of them the same signal I saw yesterday? Is this whoever or whatever killed Dee and the others or is ASO sending someone to watch me? In any case, this doesn't look good. I pray that the base is safe from anyone coming in, but I'm not so sure anymore. Doesn't matter. My doors are locked and I have my pipe with me, so whatever they want with me - I will fight back.

NOTE TO SELF: The signals don't seem to be moving closer for now. Let's play the waiting game then.

4:03 - The camera is gone, good thing I took pictures. The signals on the radar are acting strange. One of them disappeared and then another appeared on the other side of the valley. Is it the same one? Are they trying to scare me and force me to run? Too fucking bad, I'm not taking the bait. I know I am safer in here, as fucked up as this base is. Want me? Come and get me. I'm waiting.

4:29 - Bao accused me of photoshopping the creepy camera screenshot of the elevator to prank him. What an asshole. But I actually don't think it was him showing me that elevator footage. He knows what happened here, and I'm sure as shit not getting ny info on that, or even an acknowledgement that something is wrong, but he responded to the photo. That's the first actual response I've gotten from him. Whatever is going on with that elevator is not ASO's doing. Something is up with this bunker outside, and I guess that's another investigation for me to do on my own. No rest for the wicked, I guess.

4:50 - Ordered some new cameras to put in the basement and outside the front door. More security never hurt. Especially with those signals jumping around the forest outside.

5:10 - One of the new radar signals moved closer to the base, but is now staying in a forest near the Yankee radar. I am scared shitless, no matter what I tell myself, but maybe If it stays there until the sun starts coming up, I can go there and try to take a picture of whatever it is. I need to be stealthy about it, though, so I'll have to go on foot and just pray that whatever it is doesn't see or hear me.

5:48 - I went out to look for that signal. Nothing was there except a wooden stick stuck in the ground near one of the cement poles. Are the poles important in some way? Dee mentioned a figure watching him from near one. I took a picture of the pole next to the base for my board, but I didn't find any footprints there and there were no signs of anybody on the Yankee pole. Only the stick. Why did the signal bring me there? Does the stick mean something? I think I may be overthinking stuff at this point, I haven't had quality sleep in about a month and barely had any sleep at all since yesterday. My head hurts and the questions keep piling up. At least now that I know I'm alone in the base and there is nothing coming from the woods, I might be able to sleep for bit. The day is promising to be a shitshow.

7:48 - I found some notes in the TR_2 office. The guy working there not only saw something, but was attacked by some sort of creature. The note claims it was "undead" and hard to kill even with a hammer. I can't make out most of the note, but I guess he killed whatever the hell attacked him. There were some weird bones in the office, I am not sure about bringing them here, but I took a picture. I don't think I can be surprised by something at this point. Undead bone dog in the forest? What the hell, sure. At least I think it's dead, but the guy that killed it is probably dead, too. He said that those towers around the perimeter are watchtowers to stop the staff from escaping. Said they'd shoot him if he ran away. They probably did. Once again, I'm not fucking surprised by this point. ASO clearly put us all here to die. I am just another useless test dummy to them. I don't think anyone is coming to save me. I don't think they care if I survive. Not even Ena. I really shouldn't have taken this goddamn job. I wish I could go back and refuse it. Maybe I would've been happy just being a broke nerd with a regular day job. Maybe I would find a use for my skills elsewhere. Maybe I would've been happy still being able to fucking trust people close to me. Maybe. I would at least be living some sort of a life, not surviving on whatever scraps Bao throws my way and hiding under the desk every night from things I'm not even sure are real. I tell myself I'm ready for anything and that I'm strong and I'll manage, but it's hard to fool myself. I'm tired, scared and alone. I am not ready for any of this. I can't believe Ena would do this to me.

9:02 - Found a weird place near the Romeo dish. There's a cliff with radiation warnings dotted around it, which of course means another locked area I just had to wander into. Let's hope I was quick enough to not get any radiation poisoning. That would be ironic, wouldn't it? Anyway, in the center of that area is some sort of cave with something at the end of it. Webs? Weird roots? More of Dee's trash? Whatever it is, I don't like it at all. Another fucking creepy mystery in this cursed forest. There were also skulls in the cave, but they seem too old to belong to anyone working here. A relief, sure, but some poor cave diver still died there at some point, which still creeps me out. Let's see what Noa has to say about this. What the fuck even is this place? Rituals, murders, psychosis, radiation, weird bony animals. What next? Actual fucking aliens? Demons? Any other sort of Lovecraftian horrors to torment me? Give me a damn break.

NOTE TO SELF: I'm gonna need more cork boards for all this crap. And food. And batteries. And some medicine just in case, I almost broke my legs in these goddamn woods a couple times already.

10:10 - Made myself another weapon with that stick I found in the woods and some stones from outside. Now I have something resembling a stone axe. Just like Minecraft!

NOTE TO SELF: What the fuck am I doing with my life...

11:37 - I have a gun now! I found an old hunting rifle in one of the satellite server rooms. What was a hunting rifle doing in a server room? Maybe somebody was using the walkway as a vantage spot for hunting, who knows. It's absolutely against regulations, but someone like Dee would likely not care about that at all. I have never even held a firearm, and It is honestly kinda scary in person, but it gives me a feeling of safety by even just laying in the locker. I am armed now. I can protect myself. I hope I can, at least. I sent Bao some signals I've decoded and, surprisingly, Max sent me some emails. If only she knew what was really going on here. I doubt she knows anything, we got hired at almost the same time and Bao probably just keeps her on decoding. Fucking asshole. I need some way to reach out. If she finds out what this place really was, she could help me. She could go to the police, at least, and somebody could evacuate me from this fucking shithole. I need to keep sending letters with the item boxes. Sending them with the disk ones was probably a bad idea, but I hope whatever Bao saw was innocent enough for him to write off as me being weird. Item boxes go to another department, though. At least they should. For now that's my only hope for outside contact. I need to reach Max. I need to get out of here.

13:54 - I decided to go out and explore the transformer buildings, because the guys working out there have clearly seen some shit and I thought I might find out what happened to them. And I did find some weird shit out there.

TR_1 - The guy working there was the one writing about bone creatures, the building seems fine, abandoned, sure, but mostly fine, apart from some really strange scratches on the front doors and on the windows. This transformer is located near that fucking hut, so I'm thinking this guy was somehow caught up in all that ritual stuff. He was writing about escaping and said that whoever is in those towers was going to shoot him. For some reason I don't doubt they did.

TR_2 - This one is fucking weird. The backroom is kitted out with a workbench and there are a lot of different part around, but I have no idea who was working there. Whoever it was, was supposed to repair the printer, so I guess he was some sort of "repair guy" around here. Behind the transformer is a field with a skeleton. The guy got fucking vaporized. The skeleton gives off so much radiation, my camera almost fried. What the fuck. What could do this to a person? What the fuck are ASO testing in here?

TR_3 - I have no idea what happened here, but this one creeps me out the most. No notes, no signs of life, but the building is trashed even more than the base was and barricaded as if whoever was there was preparing for a war. There are old gravestones on a hill nearby, I guess they might be important to this place's history, somehow, but I couldn't make out the writing on them. I found some sort of military crate in the transformer's backroom, a cat bed and some hiking boots. Was a nightmare hauling all this crap back to base, but at least the boots improve my chances of keeping my legs. I can't open the crate, though. It's rusted shut and I couldn't break it even with the axe. TR3 is not far from Romeo and the cave, and Noa did say that whoever went into those caves came out "rattled". With all this death and craziness around here, I can't even imagine what the transformer staff had to go through. Fucking hell.

On other discoveries - I took a picture of one of the watchtowers, that according to TR1 staff, are sniper towers. I get a feeling of being watched when looking at them and I am sure ASO would fucking shoot me on the spot if I tried to walk out again. Why the fuck did I even take this damn job? I also found a box near the border, It's creepy, but what here isn't at this point, and I have no idea how to open it for now. There's also the doll. I found a plush doll of some smug looking creature at the bottom of a sinkhole in the forest. And after picking it up I just found myself standing back here. I don't remember walking back. I didn't want to bring it back. That's what we're doing now? A cursed furry doll? At least It's not trying to kill me, but for fuck's sake, this goddamn forest just can't stop throwing weird shit at me, huh?

14:39 - Found a really weird signal. Looks kinda like a computer floating through space. Did we put that much trash out into the universe already? Damn. Wonder what kind of signal it's giving off.

14:45 - WHAT THE FUCK. The signal from that fucking space computer or whatever it was, was a virus. HOW DO YOU EVEN SEND A VIRUS TO A SIGNAL DECODER? It fried everything, including the breakers in the basement. And while walking to the fucking basement I found a locker filled with blood and meat. I think those were the remains from down there, Dee's remains. WHAT THE FUCK. Someone is in the fucking base again. Whatever is here, it's out for me. I'm not safe here at all. shit. SHIT. I barricaded the door to the control room. But is it safe? IS ANYWHERE SAFE? I have a gun and Dee's bomb, but what can I do? Whatever is out there killed the whole staff team, even with all their traps and weapons. I am not strong enough to fight. What am I even strong enough for? I never could fight. All I fucking do is run and hide.

I hear sounds from behind the windows. I don't even want to look.

Is this fog? Smoke? Inside the base? It's getting darker. I don't want to look anymore. I don't even have the strength to want to live anymore. I just want this to end.

16:27 - I passed out again. I hate it, I hate being weak and afraid like that, I hate not being able to do shit about being scared but passing out at least helps me through panic attacks like this one. I wish there was another way. I feel absolutely fucking horrible, but, at the same time, a bit calmer. Like whatever was here is gone somehow. I don't know how to explain it without sounding crazy, but I feel... Safe? I don't know if I can feel safe here at all, but at least I feel as safe as possible inside these walls again. I need to get my shit together and keep working to protect myself, keep fortifying somehow. I need to survive until somebody rescues me and keep writing letters so that Max could send someone. While I was out I dreamt about Ena. A rare moment without my usual nightmares. It was a good dream, I saw us having a picnic in these woods. I dreamt we were happy again. I used to hope we could be, but after this, I can't understand her anymore. I don't even want to think about her again for now. I wish I could. As if I could stop my mind from wandering back to her. I need to get back to work. I need to get a grip. I still have that meat in the locker to deal with.

17:10 - I removed the meat from the locker and cleaned the place up. I almost vomited all over the hallway but the thought of cleaning that up too really helped. Sobered me up after the blackout, too. These aren't Dee's remains, those are still down there. This looks and smells more like regular animal meat. Deer? Boars? Not sure what lives around here. I can't even imagine what kind of a prank or whatever the fuck this was, but something is out there and it's clearly shown it knows I'm here and it could get me anytime. What a marvelous fucking thought to have. Thanks, forest creature\serial killer\whatever you are. And fuck you, too.

NOTE TO SELF: I need to stay awake. Good thing I have a coffee machine, because sleep is clearly not an option anymore.

18:00 - I still can't open the strange crate I found at TR_3. Wish they made the tech around here as sturdy as this fucking thing. Even the stick and stone abomination that I made can't break it, and it seems strong as hell.

NOTE TO SELF: Maybe I should try bashing in the bunker doors with it? At this point I don't know what else to try. Could be worth it. Or could make me look like a goddamn caveman. At least nobody is here to witness my shame. At least I hope Bao and the others won't laugh their asses off at me, if they are watching somehow.

18:45 - Even caveman tactics work sometimes. Good reality check for a scientist. I managed to open the inner bunker door by hitting it with my club for about 20 minutes. My hands are aching, but at least I'm getting somewhere. Good news, I know how to get into the bunker. Brute force. It's that easy, for once. Bad news, there's even more doors and not much in the first room. I was too tired to try and break the doors in the back of the first room and almost locked myself in there, the doors still close after a short while, even after all that beating. I found a folder with... something in it down there. Seems like blueprints for something advanced. Not much else, but that's something new at least. I knew there was more to this place than just radar dishes and weird forest cults! Now I have ASO's secret documents, or whatever it is. I should try to make sense of them after I get some rest. Gotta do all this shit and also keep the signals coming somehow. At least my actual work is a relaxing routine. Nothing ever happens up there, only peace, quiet and wonderful noises of space. I actually almost get why I took this offer. As weird as it is, I love this type of work. Looking at the stars and listening in to the noises of these giants was always my dream and my safe place. Almost makes dealing with the local bullshit worthwhile. Almost.

NOTE TO SELF: Always bring more batteries whenever you go outside!!! I know you think you have enough. It never is!!!

19:43 - I read through the papers I found in the bunker. Those blueprints are for something called "Kerfur Omega". I knew it rang a bell, Kerfurs are robots used by Stolas for maintenance. Heard about them while I was in uni, but never seen one in real life yet. So, were they testing some kind of new model here? This could be a lead to what happened here. I guess rogue robots aren't out of the question either. The perspectives get worse by the hour. Is the thing stalking me some sort of killer maintenance bot? Amazing. Just fucking perfect. I feel like I'm in a sequel to Cabin in the Woods that is somehow even amore fucking absurd.

NOTE TO SELF: There are Kerfurs available in the shop, but they are out of my price range for now. Maybe I should save up for one? If anything, at least finally seeing it in person would be really interesting. And maybe I could really use some company, for once. Never thought I'd say that.

19:54 - WHAT. THE. FUCK. THIS CAN'T BE REAL.

Aliens. REAL FUCKING ALIENS. Either I've gone completely fucking crazy, or I just recieved the FIRST REAL ALIEN SIGNAL IN HISTORY!!!! There is someone out there, and I mean LIFE!!! Sentient life. In space. HOLY SHIT! What are these symbols? Peace signs? A hello? A declaration of war? An SOS? Is this a prank by somebody again? Can't be. I don't know, I don't care, I need to send this to Bao, ASO, Stolas - Whatever. Fuck. I need to send it out there. I can't believe this is happeing. WHAT? My head is spinning. I can't believe this!!!!

20:24 - Did they not see it? Do they even look through the signals I send them? I send them proof of fucking alien life and all I get is "good data, Kel, keep on working"?! I can't believe this. I can't be the only one seeing these symbols in the noise. Max should've noticed it too. Bao should've noticed, but he didn't even respond, as usual. Ena would kill for signals like this one. I can't believe she didn't respond. Is she even there? Does she even know what I'm doing here? What are they doing in there? Aliens. Fucking Aliens. And I just get a pat on the back, some credits and nothing else? What the fuck? I have to keep digging. There are alien symbols on that signal, good thing I saved extra backup copies. I need to decode it. Of course I have to do everything myself. As fucking always. But I will get to the bottom of this. And I will make them see what I see. I need to understand this. I will decode these symbols. And I need the world to know. I don't care how many disks and packages and letters it takes. I need to make them see what I saw. This is big. Massive. This is world-changing, for fuck's sake. I won't let ASO just ignore and bury a thing like that.

21:02 - The only reason Stolas, ASO, Bao, Ena and all the others wouldn't acknowledge this is because they know. This is not the first, nor, I guess, the last time aliens contacted us. They are real, they chose this place as their entrance. And they sent me here to be the frontline. That's why I'm alone here. That's why Dee went insane and why the last crew - those who tried to escape - were eliminated. ASO wants me to receive these signals and be their disposable failsafe in case whatever is out there turns out to be aggressive. I'm just a fucking canary. Nothing more. Fucking hell.

There is no way out and I sincerely doubt I'm supposed to make it out alive at any point. And I'm sure as shit not getting any help surviving out here, they can just replace me. There's always the next wide-eyed astronomy student who dreams of hearing the stars. But I'm not going to let them for as long as I possibly can. This isn't right. This isn't a welcome committee, this is a hunter's trap in which I am the bait. I won't let them mislead anyone else like this. I don't know if Max realized all this yet, but I hope she will, on her own or through my letters. I hope they let her.

A new cork board is set up. I'm going to decode this. I don't even know where to start, I'm as much a linguist as Dee is a clean freak. But I'm going to. I have to. For humanity's sake and for my own sanity. And I guess there's no stopping decoding whatever the satellites pick up. That's what they want from me. That's my mission. I get it now.

I need a break. My head hurts so much, but I need to think this through.

21:50 - Well played, Ena. Well played. I always wanted to be the one to find aliens out there. To prove to the world that they exist and we are not alone in the universe. To prove I was not crazy. And after laughing at me for it you bring them to me on a silver fucking platter. You went and made this my personal hell. You sent me to see my dream come true without ever being able to live to tell anybody about it. Fucking perfect. Thanks. Love you, too.

NOTE TO SELF: YOU WILL GET OUT AND YOU WILL TELL THE WORLD ABOUT THIS. REMEMBER THIS, KEL. EVEN AT YOUR WORST MOMENTS.

22:55 - The situation I'm in is beyond fucked, but I have to keep going. I have to keep investigating and I have to keep translating the signals. The more I know about these signals and what is going on in the forest the more valuable I am to Stolas and ASO. I am still completely replaceable, sure, but maybe I can be valuable enough for them to at least help me survive while I'm staying here. And the more I know about the previous crew, the more I know about what killed them and what they went through, the more prepared I am to escape and tell the world about what is really going on up here. I will need a plan, I will need the tools to survive out here and I'm going to need information from every single source I can get. And ASO will provide if I do my job well enough. Well, now I know the rules. I'm ready to play your game, Bao.

I need to rest to be ready to get back to work tomorrow. It's gonna be a long day.

Ain't no rest for the wicked, huh, Kel?

#votv #votv dr kel #Dr Kel's Diaries #voicesofthevoid #voices of the void #votv spoilers

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