#anyway I skipped lunch today for no reason for this so uh.

[ai-the-broccoli]

GAH it's really frustrating when you spend real long on drawing something and then it still doesn't. look right at all what the hell

[munsons-melody]

i got you, babe

summary: after a day from hell, eddie comforts you

pairing: eddie x female!reader

cw: none, just pure major tooth-rotting fluff + established relationship

recommended song: I Got You Babe by Sonny & Cher

word count: 1.9k 

a/n: all i want in life is to snuggle with eddie and watch indiana jones but alas it hasn't happened so i'm here to write about it

masterlist

i do not consent to having any of my works republished, translated, or posted to any other site except here. if you see my works anywhere but tumblr, it has been republished without my knowledge, consent, or permission.

-

today was awful to say the least, calling it a day straight from hell was more like it. 

it started this morning when you woke up late, causing you to rush out the door, which you always hated, but it was even worse this morning when it was pouring rain 

one bad thing won't make it a bad day, you tried to reason with yourself

but boy, did bad things keep happening

after showing up to school late, wet, and cold, you tried to make yourself have a good day under the negative circumstances it started under

however, once you arrived at your math class, those hopes of making your own day better were instantly dashed when your teacher passed out your tests from the last class, seeing a giant red F on the top of your paper

nonetheless, you took in a deep breath and thought to yourself...

two bad things don't make it a bad day

but for a second time that day, your hopefulness was dashed away when your best friend and you started arguing during lunch about something as stupid as where to take prom pictures 

and after lunch dismissed, you told yourself for a third time that you were going to try and have a good day, but that was right before you accidentally stumbled on a small rock lodged in the pavement, tripping onto the concrete before you, scraping up your hands and knees

then after that, it was getting reprimanded by your teacher for being late, even though you were at the nurse's and had a note for it,

you lost one of your favorite scrunchies, and when you thought things possibly couldn't get any worse when you got home from school, your mom started yelling at you for not taking out the trash bins in the morning, causing there to be an overflow of trash sitting in your garage

you sped right into your room, tears threatening to fall, and you decided to distract yourself by working on the little bit of homework you had left, 

but the cherry on top of the worst day imaginable was when you realized you left the book you needed for the homework due Monday morning was still sitting in your locker, and you forgot to grab it as you left

you let out a frustrated sigh, burying your face in your hands, letting the hot tears flow

you stayed like that for a minute, before trying to take a deep breath in, thinking to yourself a way to make you feel better, and you knew of only one person to fix it... your boyfriend eddie

you had barely seen him all day since the two of you had conflicting class schedules and in the one class you had together, he decided to skip with Gareth and Jeff since it was the last period of the day anyways

you packed up some clothes in a bag, grabbed the few pieces of paper that was left of your homework, and walked out of your room, seeing your parents sitting on the couch watching some show 

"uh, Nancy and Robin wanted to have a sleepover at Robin's house tonight, is that okay?" you asked, hoping they would not question any further

it's not like your parents haven't met Eddie, they have, it's just your dad would go ballistic if he knew you were sleeping over at his house

"sure things sweetheart, be safe and have fun" your dad said nonchalantly and you smiled to them as their eyes diverted back to the television screen

-

you finally parked your car right outside eddie's trailer, furiously wiping tears away that kept falling during your drive

you thanked your lucky stars that your blurred teary vision didn't cause a crash

you tried to control your breathing but it was hard, the lump in your throat increasing in size by the second 

you grabbed your bag and walked up to the door, knocking lightly

the door opened and saw a smiley Eddie, he must've recognized your car when you pulled up, you assume

"hey baby I was just about to call you and come over," he said and kissed your cheek

you turned to face him when he saw your teary red eyes and his expression immediately changed

"oh, are you okay?" he asked sweetly, putting his arm around you and bringing you inside, shutting the door behind him

he took your bag and started down the hall to his room, and you followed

he threw your bag on his bed when he turned to face you, "c'mere" he said, and wrapped his two strong arms around you 

as he held you, you started to cry again, half from the frustration of the worst day and the other half from finally being held in the loving arms of your boyfriend

he held you close as the sobs racked your body, stroking your hair and slowly swaying from side to side, almost as if he was rocking you

you stayed like that for what seemed to be an eternity, when you felt the tears slow and your breathing return to normal, and you continued to stand there in his arms, not wanting to break away

you breathed in, your nose inhaling his mix of musty cologne and cigarettes, which was your favorite scent in the whole world

he gently pulled back so he was able to see your face, when you looked up at him, puffy red eyes, swollen lips, and flushed cheeks

he gently caressed your face, kissing your forehead

"what happened sweet girl?" he asked softly, as if not to make you cry any more than you already had 

you wiped the tears that had been sitting on your cheek

"i've had the worst day" you started, feeling your eyes start to well up again

"i was late to school, i failed the math test that i was so confident on, i had a fight with lisa about where to take stupid prom pictures, i tripped and skinned my knee, ms o'donnell yelled at me for being late even though i was in the nurse's office, and i lost my favorite scrunchie and then my mom yelled at me about not taking out the trash on time, and on top of all that i forgot my book for the homework that's due Monday morning in my locker" you ranted

eddie looked at you with sympathetic eyes, nodding understandingly at your frustration, wiping the tears that started to fall again and you sniffled 

"sorry" you muttered out, and he chuckled "for what baby? if anything the universe should apologize to you for making you go through all that hell" he squeezed you tighter

"how about this, Monday morning ask to retake the test, and tomorrow, call lisa tomorrow about the pictures, i'm sure you two will work it out cause c'mon, they're stupid locations to take a picture," he started, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear

"i'll get you a new, and better scrunchie, better than your last one, it'll be the most amazing scrunchie you'll totally forget about your other one" he joked, and a smile tugged at your lips 

"as for ms o'donnell, you know she can be a bitch but lets face it, that's what happens when you become a cranky old cat lady," he joked again, causing you to giggle 

"there it is, that's my beautiful girl" he beamed, before taking your hands in his and bringing them up to his lips 

"as for these," he said, kissing the scrapes on your hands from where you tried to catch yourself in the fall 

"i think kisses should be the remedy" he continued, kissing all around your hand and your arm causing you to giggle even more and inciting a smile to tug on his face

"and lastly, you can borrow my textbook for the homework" he said, enlacing his fingers with yours

"so don't stress sweets, i got you babe... i love you y/n" he locked eyes with you, and leaned in to give you a soft, sweet kiss that sent the message he just told you

he was there for you

you both pulled away from each other, foreheads pressing against one another, his genuine concern warming your heart

"i love you too eddie" you said and you both smiled

you nuzzled into his neck, and he continued to hold you, gently stroking the back of your head

"how about tonight we watch movies and sit around, and get fat" he joked and you smiled 

"what movie were you thinking?" you questioned as he started to gently sway the two of you side to side

"i snagged both Indiana Jones movies from Family Video earlier today if you're interested" 

you couldn't help but smile at the suggestion as you loved those movies

"that sounds perfect, actually" you admitted

he kissed you once more before leading you to his kitchen, hand in hand

you started popping the popcorn as eddie went into the living room, and you were glad that wayne left a little earlier to the plant for his night shift so you'd have the tv and couch to yourselves tonight

as you turned into the living room with a bowl of popcorn, some drinks, and some other random snacks you found, eddie had already set up the movie, his thoughtful gesture not going unnoticed

you settled onto the couch with him, and as the film began, the tension in your shoulders started to fade away

throughout the movie, eddie made occasional comments that had you chuckling, despite your earlier frustration and sadness

his infectious laugh and witty remarks managed to lighten the heaviness in the room. it was as if he had a natural talent for lifting spirits

during one particularly intense scene, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness resurface

sensing your change in mood, eddie paused the movie and turned to face you

"hey, I can see something's bothering you again," he said softly. "do you want to talk about it?"

you took in a deep breath, "i feel like such a loser for crying in front of you, i normally can handle my problems and i didn't mean to explode on you like that" you explained, feeling guilty for not being able to handle your own emotions - feeling like it made you look weak

eddie reached out and gently squeezed your hand, offering reassurance. "baby don't ever feel like you can't unload on me, i love being able to help solve your problems and make you happy, never ever feel ashamed to tell me whats going on"

his words washed over you, soothing the ache in your heart. it was a simple gesture, just doing the good boyfriend deed of wanting to solve your problems, but the genuine care in his eyes made you feel understood and supported.

you spent the rest of the movie talking, laughing, and enjoying watching Indy fight all the bad guys. eddie's presence and kindness acted as a balm to your weary soul, providing the solace you desperately needed

by the time the credits rolled on the first film, your spirits had significantly lifted

as Eddie prepared to get the next movie, you stopped him from getting up, hugging him tightly, gratitude swelling within you. "thank you, eds. i can't express how much you meant to me. You turned my whole day around just by being with you" you admitted

he returned the embrace, snuggling in close, his voice warm and sincere. "i vow to you till the day i die- and even in the afterlife, i will always make your bad days better, i promise you..."

and with those comforting words, you passionately kiss him, his lips providing you warmth and hope for a better day tomorrow

after he switched the movie to Temple of Doom, you cuddled into his chest, and couldn't help but feel blessed to have such a caring, beautiful boyfriend, ready to provide comfort whenever you needed it most and you fell asleep, snuggled into eddies chest

fin.

[idontplaytrack]

Running through my brain

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader (+older sister Regina)

Warnings: some coarse language, fluff, mention of a family member’s passing & divorce.

First date! Read part one here / part three

(Pictures used are from Pinterest & Auli’i’s IG)

“Remind me…is she picking you up or do I have to drop you off?” Regina asks, knowingly. Wanting to poke fun at you and see you get flustered at the thought of Janis.

“She’s picking me up, stop that.”

“Getting to see you so happy? Never stopping this.” Regina chuckles over her words.

“I’m nervous.”

“And that’s fine!” Regina assured, “As long as you don’t puke on her.”

You looked at her absolutely horrified at the possibility, it did happen once in first grade for an entirely different reason— but it happened, you’d puked in class due to nerves or stress, or both.

“Stoooop.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll shut up.” Regina threw her hands up in mock surrender. “Just have fun today, okay. It’s pretty clear to me she feels the same way or is at least interested in getting to know you better. You have plenty of time.”

You exhaled a breath you didn’t even realise you’d been holding, “Guess so, thanks, Reg.”

At this moment, you got a text from Janis saying that she’d arrived so you gave Regina a quick hug goodbye and left the house. “Hi!” Janis exclaimed while you walked closer to her car.

“Hey.” You replied, smiling slightly while you opened the door and got into the front seat with her. The drive was silent for awhile, but Janis didn’t seem to mind that you weren’t talking. While she was comfortable with it, you felt that the lack of a conversation was tense.

“So…have you decided what we should have for lunch yet?” You decided to break the silence.

“Well, there’s this new Mexican place at the mall. Along the promenade…heard it’s pretty good. You wanna try?”

You knew which establishment she was referring to. You saw it two weeks ago when you were at the mall with Regina. There was a bit of a line, so you guys didn’t get to try it then since the hunger got the best of you both and you decided to go somewhere else without a wait time.

“Okay, though there was a bit of a line when I passed by that place two weeks ago. So hopefully the hype’s died down a bit.”

Janis nods, “We’ll go check it out, if the line’s still too long we’ll eat somewhere else.”

“Oh, you didn’t tell—”

Janis says, biting back a laugh, “Oh, no, I don’t have to tell him everything. He’s already annoying you now, imagine what it would be like if I had told him? He would probably have shown up just to see how things are going.”

You chuckled, “He’s um…very supportive.”

“More like annoying. I need some peace and quiet sometimes…the last thing I need while spending time with you is his excited yapping.” Janis continues.

You heart skipped a beat hearing her say those words, gripping tightly onto your fork, you ate another mouthful of the food while your eyes stayed focused on her as she spoke.

“As if I don’t have enough worries running through my brain thinking about how to talk to you without seeming like a weirdo.” She murmurs. You could barely hear any of what she’d just said.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” She brushes it off, “Not important.”

“Oh.” You exhaled, reaching for your drink. “Okay.”

“So…where do you wanna go after this?” She asked, back to her previous excitement in tone.

“Uh, probably just walk around here for a bit?”

“Sounds good.” Janis shrugs, checking her phone that just buzzed in her hand, “Did…your sister just follow me on Instagram?”

You took a peek at the screen, “Oh, yeah. That’s her.”

“Why? Does she not trust me? I mean— of course, but come on!” She bursts into a bit of laughter at the end. You couldn’t help it but laugh as well, “I dunno. I never really know what she’s thinking anyway. She seems to keep all her problems to herself and still has to help me with mine.”

Janis sighs softly, “I uh, I heard about your mom and dad getting divorced. And I’m sorry, that’s got to be really difficult.”

Woah, now. The conversations took a very non-lighthearted turn. “Um…” You began, “It- it was. But now after some time, I’ve just became a very angry person honestly. They were both at fault, though to me, my Dad was worse. But our relationship with mom is still pretty bad. After our Dad left, she literally just left me under Regina’s care most of the time while she’s off somewhere to ‘clear her mind’.”

“I shouldn’t have talked about that, I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head, “I’m not sad, I’m just angry honestly. I don’t have a problem talking about it.”

Janis nodded solemnly, “Well, for me, my Mom died when I was in second grade. Along with my baby sister. She went to the hospital to have my sister and she just never came home. I couldn’t understand, but I knew she was gone and I was crying for like, days.”

“Oh.”

Shit.

“What are we doing? We came out to have a good time and now we’re making ourselves upset.” Janis breathes out heavily, you saw her gulp, looking up to fan the forming tears away.

‘Don’t cry, y/n.’

‘Don’t cry.’

‘Don’t cry. You can’t cry.’

Your memory of her Mom was so vague because of how young you were, and you and Regina were rarely at her place too. Janis always came over to yours. You felt bad for not being able to remember much, if at all. But more so because she was crying.

“I’m okay.” She looked at you, noticing how worried you looked. “y/n.” She chuckles, “I’m fine, I’ll always miss her and I’ll always get a little teary eyed, because she’s my Mom, but— I promise you, I’m okay.”

She reaches out to put her hand on yours, giving it a squeeze. “Look at me. I’m good, okay?”

“Okay.” You muttered, squeezing her hand back. She smiles, making you do the same thing.

————

“You wanna go on the ferris wheel?” She asks.

“The—” You looked up, pointing at it.

“Yeah.” Janis nodded eagerly, “Come on, it’ll be fun. I’m right here with you, you’ll be fine.”

Heights. You had a fear of heights.

Yet, you pushed that aside and trusted that you would be okay as long as she was with you. And that you would keep your eyes anywhere but look outside. You really liked her that much, huh.

She breaks into a little smile when she caught you staring at her, but right now it was more of you being scared shitless about looking outside and possibly downwards. “Having fun there?” She teased.

“No.” You admitted, “Not really. I may have a fear of heights,”

“Damn.” She says, beside you, “And you chose to come on here instead of rejecting the idea?”

“I dunno, I’m stupid.” You stared at the floor. Then you feel her arm go around your waist, “Well…I don’t think you’re stupid. I think it was pretty sweet that you chose to face your fear. And so brave.”

You eased up a little bit feeling her touch. “You don’t have to lie to me, you know?”

“I’m not lying.” She says, earnest.

You only shrug, leaning onto her more now. “You’re okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. I don’t want your sister to kill me, you know?”

You giggled, resting your head on her shoulder as you recalled what happened so far today. She doesn’t move away, so you two stayed like that for a good part of the ride back down to the ground.

After the ferris wheel, you dragged her to go play a game. And though she was reluctant at first, she eventually gave in and just played the game so she could win you a prize. You told her it was fine after three failed rounds, but then she just got so determined to win you something that she said she didn’t want to leave until she had one of those stuffed animals in her hands.

“Janis, it’s okay! Let’s just go get something to eat.” You spoke over the commotion.

“Nope! You want something, you’re gonna get something.” She disagrees.

Twenty dollars later, Janis left satisfied, handing the plush over to you. “Now we can go grab a snack.”

“Alright then.” You say, impressed, “Thanks, Jan.”

“You’re welcome.” She grins, arm finding its way over your shoulders.

Does this mean anything? Should I tell her I like her? Is it too soon? Is she doing this because she feels the same way? Or is this just a friend thing?

Those thoughts came back to irritate you again, you shook your head as though to get rid of them while you walked towards a food stall with Janis. You two got deep fried oreos to share, then sat down at a bench to rest your feet. It was quite crowded, so you guys were lucky a group of people just finished their food and left the bench.

“Are you okay?” Janis asks, mouth filled with the snack, “Tired?”

“A little. But yeah, I’m alright.”

“Eh, we’ll get going after this. You want anything else?” She chuckles over her words. You could feel her still watching you closely.

You guys have been out almost all day.

“Hey. What’s on your bucket list?”

“Never really had one, to be honest. I mean, the only thing I’ve really been wanting to do was to go back home. Like— to Hawai’i. I haven’t been able to go back there, not because me and my Dad can’t afford it, fortunately. But because I cannot muster up enough courage to go back to where I lost— you know what? Never mind I don’t want to bring that up again and upset us both. I don’t want to end the night on such a heavy note.”

“You don’t have to say it. I get it, and I hope one day, you’ll be able to go back there and see your home again because I get how it feels to have a home and not be able to go home to it, not being to go home to it and have it feel like home, but something else so…painful.”

“You’re so sweet.” Janis smiles to herself, handing you a fork with a fried oreo on it. You took it from her silently. “What about you? What’s on your bucket list?”

“To visit all the Disney parks in the world? I don’t know, okay? It just sounds so trivial after what you told me.” You tried not to laugh at yourself.

“Hey, it’s your bucket list.” She points out, “Don’t feel bad about it.”

Tossing the takeout box into a trash can, Janis walks back to her car with. She unlocks the doors with her keys and you got in, buckling up and holding the slightly oversized Squishmallow on your lap. You nodded off for a part of the drive, and when she was just a few minutes away from your house, you woke up.

Again, you could feel eyes on you. So you turned your head and snuck a glance at her. She didn’t even look away, “Hey.”

You gave her a sleepy smile and nodded off again while hugging the toy in your lap. She laughs to herself, “Very comfy, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” You mumbled.

Janis had to wake you up after pulling up to the front of your house. “Come on!” She tugs on your arm dramatically, “Your bed’s right upstairs~”

You woke up and sulked.

“Don’t act cute with me.” She pursed her lips together to hide the smile. “Come on, go up, go to bed.”

“Can you spend the night?” You asked without thinking twice.

Woah?

“No, I don’t think Regina would like that.”

“I would like that.” You got out of the car.

“I’ll come by tomorrow?” She suggests.

You gave in, “Okay.”

“Okay.” She confirmed, engulfing you in a hug before you fully left the front yard. “Good night, silly.”

“Silly.” You giggled to yourself, hugging her back.

“Wow, you really need to get some sleep.” She mumbles, “Okay, sleep tight. I’ll see you tomorrow, y/n.”

“Bye, Jan.” You told her happily, turning around and walking up the porch, unlocking the front door.

“How was your date?” You hear Regina the second you stepped inside the house. Cady was beside her.

“Great.” You answered with no hesitation, too tired to even have a filter on your words. With that, you went right upstairs to your room to wash up and got dressed in pajamas for bed. Plopping face down onto the very comfortable Squishmallow, you were just about to go fall asleep once again when your phone went off.

Janis decides to take the leap and make a little bit of a move, though now a little more anxious than she liked to be while awaiting a response from you.

She had expected you to be asleep already so when she saw the typing indicator pop up, her sleepiness went away immediately. You on the other hand, was feeling as calm as you could be. But absolutely bursting with excitement and joy. Perhaps you just needed to be sleepy enough to let your guard down and stop worrying. Chuckling to yourself, you typed a reply for her and sent it.

The typing indicator disappears from Janis’ screen and then, this pops up for her.

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N:

Part 2!!

(Peep the contact name changes😗)

[raaorqtpbpdy]

I Hate Mondays

Based on the Phic Phight prompt: Danny gets caught in a time loop on the day he was supposed to die in the portal and become Danny Phantom but for some reason never entered it. He has to relive that day over and over again until he finally steps into the portal and dies. (from @ghostboidanny)

AO3 Link

[Warnings for character death (he gets better though because time loop), and descriptions of death/pain]

The life of a student was already so boring and monotonous that it was hours before Danny realized what was going on. His parents were still sulking about their portal not working. Sam and Tucker met up with him before school, and they made the same idle small talk they always did. School was the same, boring drivel it always was. Mister Lancer even gave the same exact assignment he gave them yesterday.

"Uh... Mr. Lancer?" Danny raised his hand, confused. "Isn't this the same assignment you gave us yesterday?"

"No, I only just printed these worksheets this morning," Mr. Lancer said. "I know High School must seem dreadfully repetitive, but I assure you if you actually pay attention, it's more more tolerable."

Danny shrugged and filled out the worksheet, but he could swear it was exactly the same as the day before. He was looking forward to lunch though. It was Tuesday, and on Tuesdays, the cafeteria had pizza. It was school pizza, but still. However, when he got to the cafeteria, there was no pizza in sight. Instead, there were sloppy joes again, even though that was the Monday menu.

"Hey, how come there's no pizza?" Danny asked the lunch lady when he got to the front of the line.

"Today is Monday, and on Monday, we serve sloppy joes."

"No, yesterday was Monday," Danny disagreed, but she just urged him to take his food and go through the line. When he sat down at his usual table with Sam and Tucker he asked them about it, but they confirmed that it was definitely Monday. Perhaps yesterday had just been a dream. He'd never had a dream so realistic and mundane before, but he'd heard of things like that happening.

He and his friends went to hang out at his house after school, and just like in his dream, they ended up in the lab, next to the non-functioning portal.

"Hey Danny, you should go inside and check it out," Sam suggested, and Danny was getting some serious Déjà vu. He told her the same thing he did in his dream.

"No way! That thing is unstable and unsafe. You see all those exposed wires, I could get electrocuted," he said. "Besides, it doesn't work, anyway. What would be the point in going into a big metal murder tube?"

"Boo!" Sam heckled, but she didn't push him further. Technically, they weren't even supposed to be down in the lab, but as long as they adhered to proper lab safety, his parents wouldn't get mad at them.

The next day, Danny woke up, and everything was the same once again. For the third time, Lancer handed him the same grammar worksheet, and the cafeteria was serving sloppy joes, and Sam tried to get him to go into the non-functioning portal, and he refused. The next day was the same, and the next day as well. The day after that, Danny skipped school and went to the movies. It was supposed to be Saturday anyway, and one day of cutting school wouldn't kill him, even if time moved on the next day.

Another week later, Danny had seen all the movies showing at the local theater, even the stupid animated movie for little kids about a talking frog. It was okay. No matter how many times he skipped school, he never got in trouble because it was still Monday, and no time had passed. He went to the mall, to the museum, to the skate park.

He'd stopped paying too much attention to his surroundings. No matter who he talked to, none of them seemed to be stuck in the same loop of Mondays that he was. The first time he died was on the way home from the skate park. He got hit by a school bus.

At first, he felt pressure, then nothing, too numb with shock. In a haze of disorientation and probably brain damage, all he could see was a splatter of red on the yellow paint, blood pooling beneath him. The the sensations flooded him, like a fire through his bones and needles in his lungs as he choked on his own blood. He heard yelling, then only the ringing in his ears. He smelled metal, then nothing. Everything went black.

Then he woke up in his bed, and it was still Monday morning. His parents were still moping about their portal not working. His sister was still telling them that obsessing over ghosts wasn't healthy and they should find some more realistic interests. Dying had shaken him to his core. For the first time in weeks, he went to school. It was good to really hang out with Sam and Tucker again. They never wanted to skip with him, so the three of them hadn't done all that much together in a while.

It was another few Mondays before Danny stopped being rattled by his death, and was once more overwhelmed by the monotony of his life. He hadn't showered in a month, but he still smelled fresh, because he'd taken one Sunday night, ages ago. He didn't have to clean his clothes, or do dishes.

He'd started teaching himself to draw. He wasn't good at it yet, but he had nothing but time. He'd spent probably thousands of hours on the online NASA space shuttle flight simulator. Anything he could think to do to fill the time, he did. He lost track of how many Mondays it had been.

After so many months of the same damn Monday, Danny started to lose it. He already knew that dying wouldn't break the loop, so he started trying dangerous stunts, just to see what they would feel like. Falling fifty stories actually felt really cool, up until he went splat on the sidewalk, but at least that had been a quick death. Drinking Windex just to see if it tasted like Powerade had totally not been worth it.

Every once in a while, when life got too crazy, like when he'd made himself a bazooka out of scraps from his parents lab, then held up a bank for an hour before being gunned down by police, he would go back to school. He would eat a sloppy joe, and spend time with Sam and Tucker, and after school, they would go hang out at his house, and they'd go to his basement to see the portal his parents had made that never worked, no matter how many Mondays passed by.

"Hey Danny, you should go inside and check it out," Sam suggested for maybe they fiftieth time.

Danny remembered all the times he'd called it a murder tube in the past. Somehow, after over a year of Mondays, he found he didn't care if it was. He could go inside and die of electrocution, and he'd still wake up in his bed, and it would be Monday morning again. "Yeah, alright," he agreed, and changed into his jumpsuit.

Sam stopped him before he went inside to peel the Jack Fenton decal off his chest. He went a few steps in and let Sam take her picture, even though it was pointless, and it would be gone by morning, never having been taken in the first place. He went deeper in, stepping over the wires on the floor. There was a button inside the portal, and Danny, not thinking or caring about the consequences, pushed it.

Danny had experiences dozens of deaths by this point, but none of them had been anywhere near as painful as the one he experienced when the portal activated with him inside. Millions of volts shot through him as an inconceivably huge energy surge tore open a hole between one dimension and the next, right through Danny. He could feel his atoms ionizing, his molecules getting scrambled, his blood evaporating in his veins. He had no idea how long it was before the pain suddenly vanished.

Danny kept his eyes squeezed shut. He was in his bed again, and his parents were downstairs moping because their portal didn't work, and his sister was telling them to grow up and abandon their fanciful notions of ghosts. And no matter how many times he lived today, he would never, ever go into that portal again.

"Danny?" That was Sam's voice. Sam had never been in his room before. His bed was hard. Where... what? "Danny, holy shit, are you... okay?" Finally, Danny opened his eyes, but he wasn't in his room. He was still in the lab. The lights had one out, but everything was cast in a strange, eerie glow.

"What's... going on?" Danny asked, putting a hand to his head. His eyes strayed to his reflection in the glass windows of a cabinet. "Is that... me?" His hair had turned white, and his eyes glowed green. The black and white of his jumpsuit had been inverted.

"Don't freak out, but... we think you might be a ghost," Tucker told him.

"I can't be a ghost," Danny said. "I... there's...." He wanted to say there was no such thing as ghosts but, he was floating. He clearly wasn't human anymore. "It's okay," he said. "This is new, but I'm sure everything will be fine. Tomorrow morning, I'll wake up in bed, and it'll be Monday again, and I'll be human again, and neither of you will even remember this."

"Danny, what are you talking about?" Sam asked. "This isn't the time for jokes, we have to figure out what's going on." Danny turned to look at her, and caught sight of the portal behind her.

"The portal... it's working," he observed, shocked.

"Yeah," Tucker said. "It turned on while you were inside and then you came out looking like that." Danny didn't notice he was hovering toward it until Tucker told him, "Hey, don't go back in!"

"Oh! Sorry, I just... it feel like it's drawing me in or something," Danny said. He tried to stop, but couldn't. The portal pulled him closer and closer. He heard his friends calling his name, but he ignored them as the toxic green portal swallowed him.

On the other side was a citadel, full of floating gears and other clock pieces.

"I'm sorry, Daniel," said an unfamiliar voice behind him. He turned to see a very old man with blue skin and a purple cloak, holding a staff. "I wish that things could be different, but you had to die."

"I died plenty of times," Danny pointed out. "What do you mean? Who are you?"

"You had to go into that portal. You had to die there. I'm sorry, but the world needs you like this."

"Sucks for the world, then, because I'm just gonna be back to normal next time I wake up," Danny said. The old ghost sighed, and waved his staff, and Danny was back in his parents' lab. "Come on," he turned to Sam and Tucker, "Let's get out of here. That portal is giving me the creeps."

Danny couldn't sleep, now that he was a ghost, but he'd tried staying up before. At the stroke of midnight, the loop would restart, and he'd be back in bed, waking up on Monday morning. Midnight came and went, and time moved on, moved forward. It didn't reset. Danny didn't reset. He was still there, still dead, still a ghost. There was no turning back.

[archives-of-camelot]

Lying

Characters: Eli, Evelin (@nimue-hidden-lake)

Series: Evelin Anniversary

These prompts have been on the shorter side for the last few days. But I hope the quality is decent at least. I also find myself thinking very hard for Evelin's dialogue and reactions, as this is untapped territory for me. Not just because this is something I've never written before, but also having to conjure an unknown side of her that still makes sense.

To her creator, I just hope she's still accurate on my end.

------------------------------------------------

Click clack click click

The sounds of work once again filled the room as Eli was hunched over his work. More clients, more editing. The cycle never stopped. Clicking, sliding, reviewing, and listening. For multiple hours. The longest and most demanding projects were the reviews and documentaries. Audio had to be synced, but before anything it had to be cut down to exclude any mistakes. And the sheer length ensured it would take even longer to process and render.

Not to mention he had to submit previews to check that everything was as the client wanted. And sometimes he had to restart due to dissatisfaction. He enjoyed making and editing videos, but it was very time consuming.

His work was interrupted when the sound he was ignoring finally became too loud to disregard. His stomach.

"Guh, fine...if it'll keep you quiet" he mumbled to himself as he poked his empty belly.

He finished up an edit and made his way downstairs.

Upon reaching the landing, he was about to head into the kitchen when-

"Good afternoon"

He turned around and was met with Evelin, just getting done from feeding Pinro.

"Afternoon...?" he looked confused.

"Yes" she pointed to the clock. 1PM.

"O-Oh, right. Uh...I lost track of time" he nervously shrugged as his stomach rumbled again.

"Did you even eat yet today?"

"U-Uh, of course! Was...just about to get lunch!"

Evelin stared at him skeptically. He was a terrible liar...yet he tried anyway.

"Really?" she stepped closer.

"Y-Yeah!" he took a step back.

She wasn't convinced. Why did he even try? Who could say. Not even he knew exactly. The outcome was always the same, yet he persisted.

"Do you want to try again?" she said as she took a few steps closer.

He felt his back press against the wall as there wasn't much room to go anywhere else. And even then, she'd just catch or chase him. It was just one meal, it wasn't that big of a deal, right?

"I-I didn't miss breakfast, honest!" he was sweating.

"You don't sound very convincing" as she pressed herself against him. Nowhere to go. "This doesn't need to be difficult"

"A-Alright alright, I...might have forgot breakfast. It was just one meal though!" he finally gave in.

"There..." she backed up.

He sighed with relief. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

"But now you need to be punished" she added stoically.

He thought too soon.

"P-Punished?"

"Yes" she nodded. "You lied, and skipped a meal. That makes me very angry" she may say, but kept her stoic expression and voice. Was she really? Whose to say. Maybe it was a blend of making sure he took care of himself, and also taking the chance to mess with him. It was one of her favorite things to do after all. His reactions were priceless to her.

"I just got distracted from my work! I'll...try and remember for next time" he tried to reason, as usual. There was no reasoning with her. She made up her mind already.

"I'm sure. But that can wait for after"

"A-After? B-But...I still got work to do!"

"But you'd love it"

He looked to the side as she called him out. Part of the reason he'd sometimes get into 'trouble'. But she had no complaints.

Before anything else could be said, she lead him into the kitchen to make sure he was fed, before taking 'disciplinary' action.

Eli forgot all about his editing for that day.

Masterlist

[yourlocalartsonist]

ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter Seven

A/N: Please kill me my soul has left my body writing this god forsaken LONG ASS CHAPTER but hey it was very worth it imo. Uh sorry for the month long wait. I think the AO3 writer curse found me and my poor beta reader since shit kept happening to both of us delaying this chapter even more. But hey! It's finally out, so I hope y'all enjoy while I go lay down bye- Credit to: @sweaterrat for being my beloved beta reader! Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Chapter One

Disclaimer: Chapter involves obsessive behavior, obessive language, demeaning language, injuries, manipulation, degrading language, bullying, shaming over having emotions, panic attacks, spiraling thoughts, gross creepy motherfuckers, recorded without consent, slight physical harassment, implied verbal harassment, getting restrained, uncomfy thoughts, self-degrading language, light s*icidal thoughts, violence, and curse words. This one's a heavy chapter folks so if you're sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe!

Alright, Salena. You got this. Just remember: if you’re quick and quiet, he won’t notice you. ‘Tis the rules of ninja stealth mode, baby!

Finally back at school but am I gonna face my problems? Nope! I’ve decided to take Splinter’s advice on just doing things when I’m ready. Even though sometimes I feel like I’ll never be ready. Every time I even thought about talking to Jaiden or Zane, I’d find myself getting strangely mad. I know I’ll screw things up if I talk with a temper. 

But hey! That’s not my focus right now, anyway. I’ve been searching for a good opportunity to finally meet and talk to Draxum today! It turns out the world really is fucking miniature since he works at April’s old high school - aka my current one - as that scary mean lunch aid everyone fears to death. Who knew, right? I’m hoping I can make a good impression on him today! And maybe possibly get my very own weapon but that’s totally not my first priority at all… 

I already planned to skip study hall to try and sneak into the kitchen. I know that lunch is next period but Draxum gets pretty busy when he actually has to work so I'd rather not bother him during those moments. Besides, it’s May! I would’ve spent my study hall sitting there doing jackshit, anyway, so I doubt the teachers care if I’ll be missing. There’s just one hurdle to my otherwise flawless plan. The reason I’m perched up on top of the fluorescent light trying not to cry from how dirty it is up here instead of in the kitchen by now: Zane’s been tailing me all damn morning.

He and I share a study hall so not seeing me there probably prompted him to run out looking  for me. Guess I can’t blame him too much, I haven’t really talked to him or Jaiden so I know he’s just worried. But my god, the dude’s more annoying than an actual hall monitor right now. I’ve lost track of how long this little cat and mouse game’s gone on. 

I watched in agony waiting for Zane to pass by. He stopped, looked both ways, and turned the corner, successfully convinced I wasn’t right above him. Man, I knew parkour would come in useful someplace but never have I ever thought that place would be in school. 

I victoriously hopped off the pretty bright light and bolted towards the cafeteria, checking behind me to make sure Zane didn’t come back this way. I can’t wait to finally meet Drax and get my very own weapon! I hope it’s something cool! I mean, I don’t even know how it’s supposed to be picked but holy hell I am so excited and everything’s playing out so perfectly right now I genuinely can’t believe-

“Oof!” 

Of course, I accidentally ran into someone. So much for ninjocity. The poor guy fell to his knees, and rubbed his head, messing up his fluffy black hair.

“Omigosh are you okay!? I am so so so sorry!” I stepped closer to him, reaching out my hand. “Here, let me help you up.”

“Argh… yeah, thank y-“

He stopped mid-sentence, wide teal eyes staring right at me. His expression looked strange, it wasn’t happy but it wasn’t sad either. Or actually, it was a little? He’s not saying anything or moving, it seems like he’s about to simultaneously laugh and cry. 

But maybe I’m reading too deep into it, he could just be in shock or something. 

“Um… I hope I didn’t bump into you too hard. Are you gonna take my hand…?”

“O-oh, right, sorry! I uh… I spaced out.” 

“Don’t worry, totally get that!” I laughed, pulling him to his feet. “Ya know, I don’t recognize you. Are you new here?” 

“Yeah, I actually just joined today, tenth grade! My name is Ca-”

“There you are!” A hand grabbed my shoulder from behind.

“Z-Zane!?”

“I’ve been looking all over for you, Salena!” His arm wrapped around my shoulder, possessively holding me close while shooting daggers at the stranger. It doesn’t take Einstein to figure out what message he’s trying to send. “Hey there, new guy. Nice to see you again. I didn’t know you and Salena already met.”

“We just bumped into each other, that was it.” He turned towards me, his look switching back from hostile to friendly “So, it’s Salena?”

I wanted to respond but got cut off as always “Oh, getting bold now, are we? What, just because you’re new you think you’re some kind of hotshot?”

“What? No, I’m literally just talking.”

“I know, that’s what I’m saying. Don’t talk to her at all.”

“Uh, why? You’ve been rude to me the entire time in class and now you’re trying to monitor who I talk to? Honestly, what is your problem?”

“My problem is cute guys like you who think they can do whatever they want with whoever they want just because they look good! I’m warning you now if you try to play any mind games on her, you’ll be hating every fucking second of being alive.”

Fucksake, what is he doing? “Zane, come on, you’re being extra.”

“Salena, don’t.”

“But-”

“Just don’t! You’re too nice to everyone and never know what’s good for you!” As he said that, I glanced over and saw the new guy looking at me with expecting eyes. Zane turned to him shortly after. “And you, stay away from her, got it? I’ll say this once and only once: she’s not interested.”

“Dude, why are you getting so worked up? I’m trying to talk to Salena, not you. I want to befriend them. It’s their choice if they don’t want that and I’ll respect it. But you don’t get to decide that!”

“Yeah, okay, look at you trying to white knight the situation. Look, Salena might be naive but I’m not!” Ah, there it is again! If the word naive were a person, I’d be on death row by now! “I know exactly what you’re trying to do, you little freak, and it’s not gonna work, ya hear me?”

“Zane, stop!” He was starting to get way too physically close to him and way too metaphorically close to breaking my patience. “He’s new to the school, we just met! Why are you acting like this? You’re being mean for no reason!”

“No reason? You haven’t said anything to me the entire day, Jaiden texts saying you’ve avoided them too, and now I just happened to find you here giggling with the new transfer and you’re telling me there’s nothing funny going on?” 

I groaned. As much as I felt tempted to clock him in the face, I didn’t feel like dealing with the aftermath of having to somehow make it up to him. For now, gotta focus on making sure the new guy doesn’t pop a blood vessel on his very first day. Defeated, I reached out and grabbed Zane’s shoulders, keeping him facing towards me.

“Of course, there’s nothing going on! Hey, I’m gonna talk to other people but you and Jaiden are still gonna be my best friends.” My hand signaled the boy behind him to run while he could. “I’m not gonna just replace you guys for no good reason!”

“Then why were you avoiding me?”

“I wasn’t avoiding, I just… I had something important to do, alright?” At least that’s only half a lie.

“Oh really? Important with some guy who just transferred here?”

FOR THE LOVE OF- “Ugh, no, I told you I ran into him by accident! Like, literally ran into him. The important task is something else.” I peeked behind him, noticing the boy left. “And speaking of that, I gotta dash! It’s time sensitive so… yeah!”

“Huh? W-wait!”

You bet your ass I skedaddled away from him as soon as I could. I finally entered the cafeteria, resuming my mission from before. It’s quite empty, a stark difference from what I’m used to. You could probably hear a pin drop in here. I decided it got too eerie, so I took a page out of Mikey’s book and proceeded to swing the kitchen doors open in the loudest, most obnoxious way I could, getting greeted with a scream followed by a very annoyed groan. 

“Oh, it’s one of you annoying brats. I thought I had to be worried for a second.” He didn’t roll his eyes but he might as well have, honestly. 

“Sorry! I just wanted to ask-” I paused, looking past his body and catching a glimpse of something he was trying to hide. “What’s that behind your back?”

“Nothing that concerns you. And shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Eh, it’s study hall so skipping’s not a huge deal.”

He sighed “Do what you want, kid, but why insist on pestering me? Can’t you see I’m busy enough?”

“Oh! Right! My bad.” I lightly bumped into the door frame as I walked inside “Um, so like… I was just wondering, do you happen to know a Baron Draxum around here?”

The purple vines swiftly tangled around my waist, snatching me from the ground and suspending me in the air while a couple others pointed sharp at my head.

“How do you know that name!? Who sent you, tiny assassin?”

“Yo yo yo, chill, chill! I’m a friend! O-of the turtles! Ya know, your sons or something?” 

He scoffed “Likely story! Those idiots get themselves a new ‘friend’ every week. Tell me, assassin, if you’re on such friendly terms with them then why would you refer to me as Baron Draxum? They don’t call me that anymore!”

“Dude, I dunno! I wanted to somehow indicate that I knew about the whole Yōkai ordeal and I thought if I called you Barry you’d think I was just another kid, ya know?”

“And why exactly wouldn’t you just say that?”

“...Good point. You know what, I did not think this through. And actually, thinking about it now, it honestly makes way more sense you’re a Yōkai! I mean, the occasional random vines in the flooring, the weird forestry state of the kitchen, yada yada. But I guess I just thought you were some sort of extreme nature lover or something, ya get me?” 

SHING!

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!” I looked at my arms and gasped “Wait! I can prove it! My arm-wrap-glove-thingies!”

“What about them?”

“They’re Genius Tech, a gift from Donnie!” I took one of them off and threw it, landing on his eyes with a splat. “See? Donnie wouldn’t give me these if we weren’t friends! O-or at least close acquaintances on friendly terms! So ha!” 

He inspected the clothing, grunting when he saw the all too familiar logo “...Fine. I suppose he wouldn’t let a thief get away with all their limbs intact. But why are you even wearing these in school?” 

“…They go with my aesthetic, okay?”

“That was rhetorical, I didn’t actually care.” He finally set me down, not looking any less bit irritated, though. “Now, what do you want? I don’t have all day for your childsplay.”

“A weapon!”

“What?”

“I want a weapon!” I beamed at him, instinctively flapping my hands. “Like the ones the guys and April have! April told me they all got their first weapons from you since you’ve got a whole stash of them! So, I was wondering if I could get one, too? Please?”

“Of course you are.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering to himself. “And for the record they didn’t get their weapons, they stole them! But anyway, I can’t help you even if I actually wanted to. My weapons are down in the Hidden City, I cannot simply wish them into existence.”

Darn. “Well… is there some way to portal down there maybe? Mikey and Leo can open portals so maybe you can too?...”

“As a matter of fact, I can.”

“Great! Then lets-”

“Not doing that, though.”

“What!?” At this point, I feel like he’s just dicking with me for the sake of it. “Oh come on, you’re supposed to be some sort of great mystic warrior alchemist guy! Surely you can do something to help me?”

“Listen, kid. Barry Draxum has far too much work to do to take some random student on a lab tour, especially just to get them a weapon to fit in with their friends. Go away and stop bothering me.” 

He walked past me to start prepping for lunch next period, his towering height only further emphasizing his authority. Still, I’m not backing down. Not this time. 

“I’m not trying to fit in. I know you’re busy but I’m not asking this for shits and giggles. I want a weapon to keep me safe! My life has been one chaotic run-in after another with mutants and giant cats and every time has had at least one near-death experience guaranteed! Look! I’ve even got the scars to prove it!” 

I held up my left arm, the bandage now visible with my arm wrap off. “Something bad almost happened last time and I got everyone worried. I just wanna make sure I don’t have to constantly need protection and burden them again. I wanna be useful, you know?”

He glanced at my arm and sighed. He may act like he didn’t give a rat’s ass but looking more carefully, it’s clear a part of him might’ve softened a little. 

“I’m not opening a portal and I mean that, I promised Mikey and O’Neil I wouldn’t use my mystic powers on the surface. With that being said, however…”

Draxum walked back to where I initially found him crouching when I came here, beckoning me to join him. I gasped when he opened the cupboard, revealing two giant blades hidden in them.

“Wow…”

“You’re lucky you came at the perfect time.” He took them out, gripping the seafoam green handles. “Usually, a warrior such as I would be entrusted with the safekeeping of numerous weaponry. But after gaining a criminal record, the Council decided I wouldn’t be allowed any more than I currently have.”

“Then… how’d you get this one?”

He scoffed, “Obviously, I stole it. Besides, I wouldn’t have been able to obtain them even with the Council on my side. These don’t belong to them.” He proudly presented the weapons, the silver blades shining in the light. “They’re a privately owned contraption, made by a very famous pristine Family in the Hidden City. No one outside them owns these sickles except now, of course, me.” 

“Hold up, these giant things are sickles? Aren’t those, like, usually way tinier and kinda useless compared to other ninja weapons?”

“Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“Well, this beggar can and will.” I pointed at myself, skeptical he was still trying to sell me short. “I’ve done my fair share of research on weaponry, sickles are lame! Their blades can barely do shit and they’re way too close range to keep the wielder safe.”

“Stop sassing me, child, I’ve done my own fair share of more accurate research. These are mystic sickles, they will be different from your pathetic human tools.” 

He began polishing them while continuing his rambles. “If you’re concerned about their sharpness, then you’ll be satisfied to know their blades can change by the user’s will. One minute, they’re strong enough to slice diamond and the next minute, they can’t even shatter glass. And all my sources confirmed they can turn the wielder invisible for varying periods of time, depending on their strength. It’s incredibly difficult coming across any information on them, but apparently, they were made to manipulate reality.”

“Apparently? I won’t lie, this all sounds legitimately cool and stuff but like, have you ever tested them out? Why’s all this just based on research when you have the weapon itself?”

“They don’t work from my touch.” Bruh.

“Come again?”

“These sickles are the only weapons that don’t seem to activate when I use them. So, my offer to you is if you can get these to work, I’ll allow you to own them permanently as long as you send me any new information you gain on them.”

“Oh, joy! You think that I - the ordinary human person - can get these things to work when you - the mystic magic Yōkai guy - cant?” I sighed, scratching my head before ultimately reaching out. “You know what, fine. Even if I get scammed, it’s worth a shot.” 

He plopped them into my hands as I fell forward, grunting from the weight. Jeez, I can barely even pick these up. “God, for a scientist you sure are pretty bad at educated guesses- Woah!”

I flinched and stepped back when the sickles suddenly sharted floating in the air. Draxum copied my actions, both of us staring intently at them. The pink details on the handle lit up, spiraling around the grips and spreading to the blades, shining it all in a soft aura of the same hue. A part of me felt drawn to the light, as if it were calling me. I realize how incredibly stupid that sounds but in the moment, that didn’t really matter. 

I reached out and held the sickles again, the aura spreading to me before fading away. They felt much lighter now, I can actually hold them with ease! The silver blades got dipped in deep, dark pink. If a rose could bleed, it’d be that color.

“Fascinating…” He adjusted his glasses. “Seems like my guess wasn’t so stupid after all, was it?” He smirked at me, genuinely emoting this time.

“I… I guess not. Aight, I’m sold! Although, I feel like the sickles chose me more than I chose them.” So, like a person getting claimed by a stray cat, I had no choice but to keep them.

“Wonderful, these are now yours, congratulations.” He held me by the shoulders and pushed me out the kitchen. “And remember, update me on any and every new bit of information you learn while using this. It was nice to meet you, blah blah blah, now don’t bother me during work ever again.”

He closed the door and almost instantly the school bell rang. I jumped, frantically shoving the sickles into my backpack right as people started coming in through the doors for lunch. I had no idea this much time passed. I should probably get out of here before-

“Salena?” 

I’ve been jinxing myself a lot today, haven’t I? Jaiden’s standing right in front of me now. Might as well leap off a cliff and call it quits, to be honest.

“H-Hey…” 

“Quite the busy gal today, aren’t you.” They’re speaking slowly, this isn’t a good sign.

“Oh, um, yeah, kinda. I just had to take care of something.”

“Cool, I guess.” 

We both stood there awkwardly. My chest feels so heavy. Jaiden’s barely looking at me but I swear if they did I’d downright die from their glare. What do I even do? How do I face this?

Just… run away. You’re… you’re good at that. So run away.

“…I need to go.” 

“What? Okay, that’s it. What is up with you? You didn’t come to school Monday or yesterday and you’ve avoided me all of today. Now when I finally catch up to you, you have to go?” 

“I just got into a small accident, is all. I had to stay home.” Not like you tried to reach out, anyway. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you ask?”

They groaned at me. I don’t usually bicker back but the way Jaiden was treating this, as if they don’t know what they did, it’s just… it’s just getting to me. I don’t want to be like this but it’s getting to me.

“Salena, snap out of it, will you? You’ve been acting so pissy, lately! I literally didn’t even do anything!”

My body chose to scoff “Yeah, not with me, that’s for sure.”

They squinted at me, only half understanding what I meant. “Are you… mad we didn’t hang out this weekend?” They facepalmed, framing me as the idiot for being upset over that. “Dude, you can’t be serious, I said something came up! It’s not like I totally ghosted you or anything!” 

It’s not like you totally ghosted me?

“...Jaiden, I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Why not?”

Shut up. 

“I don’t feel okay talking about this.”

“Oh really? Like how you never feel okay confronting anything? What, do you just expect me to drop this because her highness isn’t feeling okay?” 

My face feels boiling hot, I can’t help clenching my fists. I’m trying to breathe. Everything will be okay if I just breathe.

“A-are you crying? Ugh, seriously? It’s like all you ever know is how to run away or cry! We’re not thirteen anymore, just grow up!”

Stop.

“It was annoying when you were such an emotional crybaby back then but now it’s just getting ridiculous!”

STOP.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Don’t tell me you’re upset that I’m right. That you’d rather selfishly push this to the side instead of just dealing with it like a normal person!”

Why are you being so mean?

“Salena, say something already! Stop with the pity party, the world doesn’t revolve around you-“

“I SAID SHUT UP!” 

They did.

I didn’t mean to say that.

I don’t know for how long, but somehow I tuned out the noisy cafeteria, my ears bugged with a faint buzz. My eyes were fixed on them, and theirs on me. In all our five years of friendship, I’ve never not once yelled at Jaiden before.

“…Who even are you?…”

Those words sting. They sting because they’re right. Who am I?

“Moni! Reeves!” Draxum’s voice snapped me out of my daze. “Stop standing in the middle of my cafeteria and causing traffic!” 

I guess that was our cue to sit down. And continue. Even though I don’t want to.

“Where do you think you’re headed, Moni?” For whatever reason he was still yelling at me from behind the food rack.

“T-to go find a seat?”

“I told you to head to the nurse! If that cut you got while helping me in the kitchen gets infected thanks to your horrid luck, I’ll be held responsible. So go there right now!”

Huh?…

“Y-yeah, sorry, I’m going.” I rushed out before Jaiden could say anything more. I’m a little shocked he was listening, even more so that he actually helped me. 

Whatever, I’m just grateful for the excuse to get away. 

I gently touched my heated forehead. 

Plus, maybe going to the nurse isn’t such a bad idea, anyway. 

***

The shiny streets reflected my steps as I took in the familiar damp scent. The gray fog left over after rain always gave the city a different vibe.

I got sent home early by the nurse. Apparently, another panic attack arose after talking with Jaiden. The nurse took pity on me when she realized and got me the rest of the day off, giving me a pass and everything. Told me to go home and take it easy. Come back tomorrow when I’m feeling better. I laughed at the memory. Oh, if only they knew going home meant the exact opposite.

So instead, I’m out here. Wandering in New York in its post-rainy weather to clear my mind. Maybe that’s why I keep having these thoughts. I don’t usually dwell on the whole shitty situation of my life. But right now, in the colorless skies and the somber silence, I can’t help but feel pathetic.

A pebble found its way into my boots. Annoying. I didn’t feel like dealing with it, though, so I just kept walking.

I walked more and more and more, trying to forget being present. Trying to forget this stupid mess I somehow got myself into. Wordlessly wandering, hoping the city would just swallow me whole so I wouldn’t be seen. I feel sick and ashamed but so enraged at the same time. How could they still continue to play dumb? After seeing me like that they pretended to know absolutely nothing. I’m not misreading anything, am I? What if I got the situation wrong? I can’t tell if I’d be happy Jaiden didn’t actually ditch me, or depressed I’d have yelled at them for nothing. They’re right but they’re wrong but they’re right. Or, at least I think they’re right? Maybe that’s wrong. Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about. But that could mean so many things. What am I even talking about? What’s-

“Hello? Anyone there?” A pale hand waved in front of my eyes. I glanced up at its owner. “Welcome back to Earth, sweetheart.”

A tall blonde boy stood in front of me, a couple other boys whom I can only presume were his friends looked down at me with him. 

“H-h-hi?...” My brain, still adjusting back to reality, only spoke in stammers “C-can I help you?”

One of his friends chuckled “We were wondering the same thing. You were just walking blindly into a dead end!”

For the first time since god knows when, I scanned my surroundings realizing I have no clue where the fuck I am. Somehow, I wandered into an alley, not too deep but still pretty disorienting. There’s a wall behind them, I guess that was the dead end they’re talking about. Two of them snickered while looking at a phone.

“You seriously recorded her?”

“Course I did. I knew girls were ditzy but this? She ran into a building, like, three times! And apologized to it!” Okay, I admit, not my best moment but still, feels a little weird for them to record it. I wonder how long they were filming before deciding to actually check in on me.

“Guys, stop. You’ll make her run away.” The blonde boy spoke again. “Don’t worry kitten, we’re not here to hurt you. You just looked lost. If you want some help finding your way, we’d be glad to assist!” 

…I know he’s not saying anything inherently wrong, but the way he speaks makes my skin crawl. There’s something about his tone. It’s sweeter than it should be. That specific type of sweetness no human being shows without having ulterior motives. 

His gaze grew more intense. “Do I… know you?” I don’t like how close his face is to mine.

A part of me got suspicious, too. We might indeed know each other. Or at least, I might know him. Blonde hair, green eyes, creepy as shit. But it’d be ridiculous if he’s actually who I think he is. I mean, not every blonde white guy’s gonna be related to-

“I do know you! You’re that cutie my brother keeps talking about!”

Yep, it’s him. Because my luck couldn’t get any worse, I ran into Cole Evans, Zane’s freakshow older brother. 

No wonder my fight or flight feels triggered.

Play it cool. “I think you have me mistaken for someone else. And thank you, but I’m not lost.”

Right as I turned around to leave, my shoulders pricked up. He put his grimy hands on them, firmly grasping onto them as if any of this is fucking okay. “Oh, don’t be like that! What’d he say your name was… Salena, right? You think I’m as boring as Zane or something?” He spoke too close to my ear. My legs are trembling, aching to run. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. “Why’re you being such a killjoy, hm? You know I’m not that much older than you, right?”

I need to go.

I spun around and elbowed his side as hard as I could, forcing him to stumble back. I desperately wanted to sprint but his friends blocked my path, grabbing my wrists when I tried reaching for the blades hidden in my backpack. They were laughing and poking fun at Cole and he himself didn’t seem all too phased either, straightening up as the pain died down.

“Let me go!”

“Seems like she’s more tiger than kitten aye, Cole?”

“Good thing I like the feisty ones.”

I thrashed around kicking and stomping, trying to hit anything I could or at least break free but nothing was working. They’re dodging everything and the grip on my wrists only gets tighter. All the while they’re mocking me like I’m a dog or something. Is this just a sick joke to all of them? 

“Aww, look at her! Is that really the best you can do to fight back?”

I need to keep trying, I need to find a way out. But they have me trapped. I can barely move around. I can’t dodge, I can’t run. I don’t know how to fight, I’m useless if I can’t run. What do I do? What do I do?

BAM!

I didn’t realize how unstable my balance was. Not until I found myself fallen on the ground finally able to freely move my wrists. The guy restraining me earlier was now groaning on the ground too, holding the freshly bruised side of his face in agony. 

“You wanna fight? Then pick on someone my size!”

“Raph?...” I watched from the ground, mouth hanging open.

Without hesitation, Raph charged at them. They were cocky at first but the atmosphere quickly shifted after seeing how powerful the “person” in the gray hoodie was. I don’t even blame them, I’ve never seen him punch anyone so hard before. He’d slam them into everything: the walls, the ground, I might’ve even heard bones crack. He’s taking all of them on.

Meanwhile, I’m here uselessly watching. 

I should help. I want to help. I know he’s strong but there’s a good number of them and they’re not exactly weaponless. But what do I do? What could I do? I have my sickles but what if I make things worse? What if things get too messy, what if things go too far? If the police get involved-

Wait, an opening! 

They’re so distracted dealing with Raph, no one’s blocking the way out! 

Run! JUST RUN!

“Come on!” I grabbed Raph’s hand the first opportunity I could and fled from the scene, him confused but not stopping us. 

We ran for what felt like forever. Just chose a direction and bolted, not much logic behind it. If anything, it felt like pure instinct. Traffic lights and stop signs didn’t seem to matter to me and frankly, I’m surprised we didn’t get run over. We only stopped when my lungs gave out and forced me to gasp for air. 

Raph seemed fine, a little concerned, but fine. “You okay? Was passing by and heard ya scream. When I ran in, I found ‘em surrounding you.” 

“Y-yeah, I’m just… I just, I-I don’t know. Sorry, can I just have a minute?” I continued heaving in the air, can’t tell if it was from running so much or another god forsaken panic attack.

Regardless, Raph stayed crouching by me as I held my throbbing head, trying to not cry. He's quiet but attentive, noticeably making an effort to avoid physical contact for now. Strangely enough, his presence alone is making me feel better. 

I steadied my breathing “Th-thanks for jumping in, Raph. Um… sorry I couldn’t, ya know, handle it myself.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Not your fault those creeps were messing with you.” 

“Still…” I wish I did more. 

And just like that, my breathing progress backtracked “Sorry I… A-a lot happened today. Too much too soon and I have no clue how to just… Gosh, I don’t even know, I-I guess get it out?” 

“Uhh, well uh…” His eyes lit up “Ooh! Actually, I’ve got a good way to deal with that kinda stuff, if you don’t mind comin’ over to the lair for a bit!”

“Oh, um, really? You wouldn’t mind?”

“Course not! Plus, Raph could use the company, anyway.”

Well, I’d definitely be safer in the lair than out here. 

I gave a weak smile “Alrighty then. I’m down!”

He reached for my hand, only taking it when he was sure it was okay. We walked along the city streets for a while. His large hand practically engulfed mine, I felt like a little kid next to their big brother. Is it weird to say I feel a little safer that way? 

We reached the lair, entering through a manhole and strolling till we reached an abandoned subway track. The familiar scent shot back to my brain. It’s strong but not overwhelming. 

“Here we are! Home sweet home!”

It’s surprisingly empty today. “Where’s everyone else?” 

“Probably doing their own thing. Hopefully safe. Raph, uh, doesn’t like thinkin’ about it too much.”

“Then Salena shall not question! So um… what exactly are we gonna do?-” 

“Catch!”

I stumbled back in shock, peering down as whatever he threw now landed in my arms. They’re… boxing gloves?

“The fuck?”

“We’re gonna deal with your thoughts the best way I know: by punching ‘em in the face!”

I blinked as I realized he’s being completely and entirely serious. I hesitated at first, but then I really gave it a good thought. I’ve read before that working out can boost your mood. A little harmless violence is a strangely good way to let out anger, especially. Plus, if I make a habit of this, I might be able to boost my strength along with it! Then I wouldn’t have to solely depend on running all the time! 

“Worth a shot!” I finally shrugged in acceptance and put on the boxing gloves, staring at the bag in front of me. “Do I just go ahead and punch it?”

“Yep, basically! But when you do, try thinking about whatever’s bugging ya and pretend it’s the bag. It’ll help you smash harder and make ya feel better!”

“Okie dokers, here I go.” 

Smack!

I gave it a light punch to test it out, making sure to catch the bag as it swung back so it didn’t punch me instead. It hurts a little since I’m not used to the impact on my fist but it’s nothing that makes me scream and writhe in pain.

“Good job for your first hit, Salena! Now try and put some more force into it!”

I repeated my actions but with a stronger punch like he instructed. I kept doing it until I got a decent enough rhythm I could keep up with. So now it’s time for the second and arguably harder part: letting my thoughts out. I don’t really wanna think about the… situation in the street. So I guess what’s left is thinking about Jaiden instead. Ugh.

Smack!

Where do I even begin with this? I mean, I can’t even properly figure out how I’m feeling, let alone word it. All I know is that there’s a shit ton of guilt associated with it. I never meant to yell at Jaiden, it just sorta happened. 

Smack!

But it’s not like it came out of nowhere, either! They’re the one who ditched me! Jaiden and I planned ahead of time to meet up and hang out, I made it explicitly clear I missed them and wanted to be with them. They said they were busy and didn’t even give me a reason for it! And then they hang out with Zane the same day? They basically chose him over me!

Smack!

But I shouldn’t have yelled either. I made things so much worse now, it’ll be too awkward to ever bring it up. They’ll just tell me off for getting mad and completely ignore everything else. God this is so frustrating! 

SMACK!

Why did I have to be so stupid? Why did they have to be so mean? The things they said and the things I did! It’s all spinning around in a giant whirlpool of bad and dangerous thoughts and I hate it! I can’t stop thinking about it and I hate it! Have I been a bad friend? Is Zane that much better than me? Am I just not interesting? What did I do for them to just ditch me! 

SMACK!

We’re best friends, why are we acting like this!? I let my temper get the best of me! I yelled at them, I fucking yelled at them! I’m mad and upset but fuck I yelled at them! I’ve never yelled at Jaiden before. We’re best friends. How could I do that!? 

SMACK!!

I’m awful! I’m terrible! I feel like an asshole! I am an asshole! I should know better! I do know better! How could I fuck up so badly!? How could I do this!? How!? How!? HOW!? I DESERVE TO FUCKING-

“Salena!” 

SMACK!!!

Raph’s arm went in between me and the bag, taking the hit in my place. I know he’s strong but judging from how loud the crash was, I doubt it didn’t at least sting.

“That was close. Everything okay? Why’d you stop punching? If the bag hit you it could’ve done some serious damage!”

“I didn’t realize I did…” I ran my hand through my hair, sighing heavily. “Ugh, fuck! Sorry, Raph. I don’t think I’m in the right headspace to do this. It’s just making everything feel more clouded than before.”

He stared at the bag for a moment. “Alright, well…” Then he let it rest, and faced me with his fists up. “We’ll spar instead.”

I tilted my head to the side, communicating my confusion.

“The whole point of this thing is to let your thoughts out, maybe if you’re just thinkin’ about it, it’s still keeping it in. If you’re cool with it, we could try talking instead of only venting while we fight and it might clear things up!” He chuckled lightly. “And don’t worry, Raph goes easy on first-timers.”

Honestly, he might actually have a point with that. “I’m open to trying!”

We’re starting off with some light jabs at each other. I felt a little out of place fighting Raph, partly cause I don’t like hitting him and partly cause I’m terrified to let him hit me. I’ve been dodging and blocking decently enough, though. HIs punches feel way lighter than normal so he wasn’t kidding about going easier.

“So, tell me. What’s bothern’ ya so much today?”

“It’s kinda my friend. I think I did something since they hadn’t talked to me much for days. And then one day when we were supposed to finally hang out, they told me something came up.” I punched a little harder, getting blocked by his forearm. “And then I found out that ‘something’ was them hanging out with our other friend who posted it on Instagram! They totally ditched me!”

He jabbed at my right, barely missing when I dodged. “Did you try talking to them? Could be a misunderstanding.”

“That’s the thing, every time I wanted to I just kept getting so mad thinking about it. And then when it actually happened, I wasn’t prepared and I screamed. They were being kinda mean but still, I never yelled at Jaiden before.”

The pace picked up some more. Raph’s hits were getting quicker and harder to dodge, I’ve had to shield myself more often. He did leave some opportunities, though. I’m gonna assume it’s on purpose to let me have a few hits but either way, it’s training so I’m gonna take full advantage of that.

“How long have you two been friends?”

“Five years, we’ve known each other since middle school. That’s why it’s killing me inside. You should’ve seen their face Raph, they looked so… shocked! Shocked that I had it in me, that I’m a shitty enough person to yell at my friend!”

“I mean, I get it but, you’re still human. No normal person’s gonna go through life never yelling at their friends.” He swung at me. “And if you’ve been friends so long, why don’t y’all just talk it out? Dontcha think apologizing would help?”

I ducked, narrowly missing it. “I mean, yeah it would, but that’s not gonna stop it from being an issue. Sometimes I’ve had to fight myself really hard to stay calm around Jaiden but I always managed to do it. Now that I blew up, though, it’ll just keep happening.”

“What do ya mean?”

“Anger issues.” I attempted a jab. “I’ve had anger issues growing up.”

“Ah. Yeah, Raph knows a thing or two about that.”

“It sucks because like, I try not to let it show. And I think I’ve done a good job. But everything’s been so overwhelming lately that I’ve been snapping left and right! I keep getting mad and forgetting to control my temper and doing stupid things as a result! It’s so annoying!” 

The anger’s helping my punches get faster. I’m barely even focusing on it but I can tell I wasn’t moving this quick earlier. Somehow, I actually managed to land a hit on his plastron, though he didn’t even flinch. Still, it’s definitely helping me build up some power. 

Maybe I shouldn’t have celebrated too quickly, though. He countered with a jab at my shoulder, forcing me to pause and regain my stance. He let me take my time, bouncing with his fists up like before and waiting for me to resume the fight. I did so shortly after catching my breath.

“Ya know, I’ve dealt with anger issues growing up, too. It’s why I got into working out so much, it’s a good outlet.” He started blocking more, letting me get a few more hits in to help me practice.

“Yeah, but your brothers love you a lot, you couldn’t have hurt them too bad. If you did, wouldn’t they just hate you?”

He laughed. “You’d be surprised! I was a real problem-child growing up, even worse than Donnie. I mean, I still loved my bros back then and acted the way I do now but… I still had a huge temper and wasn’t as good keeping it in check. Actually speaking of Dee, I did hurt him pretty badly once. Physically.”

My arms were getting tired. “What’d you do? If you’re okay sharing.”

“Well, uh, turns out anger issues and pre-teen hormones don’t mix well. It’s a little fuzzy but I know it was over something dumb. I was having a bad day so I started punching my room’s walls. It made a lotta noise and Donnie came in telling me I was bein’ too loud and it hurt his ears. I shoulda just stopped like he asked me to but I didn’t and started yelling at him and taking my anger out on him. Don didn’t back down, either, so we ended up arguing. I don’t even know how things got so heated but it got physical and I accidentally hit his shell.”

“What!?” I stopped for a moment, trying to take it in. I know Donnie’s a softshell and judging from how hard Raph’s been hitting even now when he’s being light, I could put two and two together. “Sorry that happened, Raphie. For both of you.”

“It’s fine, he wasn’t too badly hurt thankfully.” He threw a punch to signal me to keep going. “But he built his battleshell a few days later. I don’t think it was out of anger towards me, I don’t even think Dee remembers what happened other than us getting into a fight. But it still stung when I figured out why he made it.”

“And why was that?”

“...I think he built it so I wouldn’t have to worry about hurting him again. He knew I felt guilty and I wouldn’t stop apologizin’ to him for days. I think the battleshell was his way to keep himself safe but for my sake more than his.”

Raph began using a more offensive style, letting me play defense and rest my body a little. Perfect timing since I don’t think I would’ve been able to focus on giving strong hits. I’m just trying to process what happened. I knew Raph could get mad easily and shouts a bit. But I’ve never seen him really act violent towards his family, quite the opposite actually. It never even crossed my head that maybe he had to learn this the hard way.

“We’re both past it now and I’ve def gotten better with the whole temper thing. Plus that battleshell’s like, his favorite thing he ever made now. So all’s well that ends well, I guess!”

I slid back, shielding another hit. “Does it… still hurt you to think about it?”

He paused and chuckled. “You kiddin’? Hurts like hell.” Then went right back to fighting.

“So… how’d you do it? You seem so different compared to how you described yourself as a kid. Just… seems like a lot of change.”

“It was! I found better ways to deal with things. I worked out, listened to older songs, that kinda stuff. Still not the best I could be but it’s a work in progress!”

“I already do those things, though. I mean, not working out but like, I’ve got ways to cope with my anger. It just still happened.”

“Then there’s only one thing I can tell ya. It’s the hardest thing but also the most important.”

I freaked out when he swiped his leg at mine, knocking me off balance. I raised my head to look at him crouched by me again.

“Never give up on yourself. If you do that, it’s over.” He picked me up by my shoulders, me weighing absolutely nothing to him, and set me back on my feet. “But ‘till you do that, there’ll always be hope.” 

He smiled, the snaggletooth gleaming. “Think we’ve done enough today. You look tired.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Truth be told, I didn’t entirely realize how worn out my body was ‘till he pointed it out. “Thanks for, well, helping me out with this stuff. You’re… a good friend, Raph.”

“Anytime.” He pointed at his shell. “Want a ride home?”

I grinned and nodded, my nerves washing away from me. I know from experience this relief is only temporary, but maybe it’s okay to enjoy it anyway.

We had a nice and pleasant walk back to my place, me on his shell as we talked about more lighter topics. He shared a lot about his music taste especially, R&B is his favorite and helps him chill out often. I’ve never given it a try myself but I’m always happy to have an excuse to. I got dropped off at my building’s entrance, strolling in as I thought about the last thing I asked him before bidding him goodbye.

“Raph… do you think I’m a bad person?”

��Not even close. Like I said before, you’re just human.”

I hate to admit it, but there’s a lump in my throat from thinking about it. Weird thing is, I don’t mind it. The elevator’s quiet hum only made this peace more apparent. 

Ding!

And there goes my phone ruining that peace once again. I saw the notification, Zane texted. I guess his brother told him about our little “introduction”, if you can even call it that. 

Ding!

He also told him about Raph. And he’s mad at me now, asking who the guy in the gray hoodie was. He’s more focused on Raph than on his brother’s bullshit. Lovely.

…You know what, this can wait for another day. One thing at a time, Salena. One thing at a time.

Next Chapter

[mousydentist]

February 14th Valentine’s Day

“Did you hear? Kim brought chocolates for someone.”

Chay tries his best not to eavesdrop, but his ears perk up nonetheless.

“What? No way! Who?”

“No idea, Ple just told me that she saw him put it in his locker this morning. She said they looked homemade!”

“It was probably just something he got from someone else.”

“Well, anyway…”

Chay doesn’t let himself think about it for too long. He tries really hard not to think about it, at least.

He’s not sure why he’s so fixated on it, it’s a weird feeling. He almost thinks it’s jealousy? But why would he be jealous? He barely knows Kim, and they’ve spoken a grand total of three times. Sure, by now he would consider Kim a friend, definitely an acquaintance, but Kim always gets dozens of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, there’s no reason for him to pay any special attention to Chay. Does Kim even like boys? Does Chay even like boys?

Chay jumps when a book lands on his desk.

“Something on your mind, Mr. Kittisawat?” His teacher quirks an eyebrow at him.

Chay shakes his head, embarrassed. “No, sir.”

There’s a few chuckles around the room as the teacher moves back to the whiteboard and continues the lesson. When his eyes flick over to the left, he realizes, to his shame, that Kim is grinning at him. He feels his face light up red, but Kim just keeps smiling at him.

Kim quickly glances at the front where the teacher is writing something on the board, then looks back to Chay and gestures at the phone in his hand.

Chay discreetly slides his own phone out of his pocket as it buzzes, and opens his message app.

Wanna eat lunch in the music room?

Chay’s heart thumps in his chest. Just once, but enough for him to question the implications. He nibbles his bottom lip as he types his response.

Sure

---

“No student council today?”

Kim purses his lips. “There is. I’m skipping.”

“What? You’re the president!”

“Yeah, but, I wanted to- eat lunch with you.”

Don’t read into it don’t read into it don’t read into it-

Chay laughs. “I must be really special if I can get the president to forgo his duties.”

“You are,” Kim says sincerely.

Okay, that one he’s going to read into, at least a little.

When they reach the music room and get settled, Chay picks at his food, regretting not getting Kim chocolates. Friend chocolates, for friends. He wonders if the little mart in the school would have any. Though, they’re probably sold out by now anyway. There’s no way he could make them now either. Maybe he can bring some tomorrow and say he got them from someone else but doesn’t want them all.

But should he lie like that? Shouldn’t he just give them to Kim and be honest about why? Worst case, Kim says he doesn’t feel the same. Great. They can move on. And really, that would be a bonus because it would allow Chay to squash any feelings before they bud. Although, there is the actual worst case, that Kim would think it’s weird and wouldn’t want to hang out with Chay anymore. But that’s fine too, because if Kim is the kind of person that would find it weird, Chay wouldn’t want to be friends with him anyway. It would suck, but Chay’s resilient.

Kim doesn’t seem like that kind of person, though. Don’t ask him how he can come to that conclusion after only really knowing him for less than a week, but Kim just seems too nice to be that particular breed of asshole.

So that’s settled. Chay will go get chocolates tonight. Oh, actually, he should go tomorrow morning before school because they’ll probably be on sale-

“Are you alright?”

Chay looks up at Kim from where he’s been smooshing his rice around for about fifteen minutes. Kim has already finished his lunch and put it away.

“Uh, yeah, fine. Why do you ask?”

Kim raises an eyebrow and looks at Chay’s lunch like it’s obvious. “You haven’t said a single word since we sat down.”

Chay chuckles awkwardly. “Sorry, I’ve been- thinking.”

Kim laughs a little too, so he knows it’s okay. Then Kim runs his fingers through his hair and plays with a strand of it for a minute, not meeting Chay’s eyes- oh, Chay’s staring. Okay, back to his lunch. He shoves a few bites in his mouth so he doesn’t go the entire lunch break without eating anything.

“Uh, Chay?” Chay looks up at Kim. He’s holding a little pink box in his hands. Probably a Valentine's gift he got from one of the girls. “Do you like chocolate?”

“Sure, thanks!” Maybe he can get Kim to eat a few pieces so he can figure out what kinds he likes. He pulls it open and removes the little piece of plastic film that covers the chocolates to protect the lid. “Wow, these look good.”

When Chay looks back at Kim, his brow is furrowed a little. “I made them.”

Chay freezes, eyes flicking between Kim and the chocolates several times before landing on the box, which was neatly wrapped with a ribbon before Chay tore into it.

Oh. “These are…” Oh.

When he flips over the lid, there’s a little polaroid taped there, one of a few Chay took of them both when Kim had come over to his house. In the little white space below the picture, Kim has written, Happy Valentine’s Day.

Chay’s face flushes so hard he can feel the warmth of it going all the way down his neck. He swallows before giving another quick glance at Kim. His head is turned to the side and his eyes are pointed away from Chay, his face looking carefully blank. It gives no indication of how Kim’s feeling, but when he looks down Kim’s hands are fidgeting in his lap.

“Earlier,” Chay says, sitting up again so he’s facing Kim, “I was thinking that I should’ve gotten you something. Sorry.”

Kim moves just his eyes to look at Chay. “You mean like, friend chocolates.”

Chay immediately shakes his head, and is rewarded by Kim’s cheeks turning slightly pink. Kim nods, faux casual, but clearly fighting a grin. “Cool.”

Cute, is all Chay can think, and he giggles. “I’ll bring you some tomorrow. Or… maybe you could come over this weekend and we can make some together?”

Finally, Kim smiles at him. “I’d love to.”

February 9th T-5 Days

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize anyone else came here.” Chay looks up from his phone to the door of the music room where a boy is peeking his head in. Kim, Chay thinks his name is. They sat together on the first day of classes, and Kim asked to borrow a pen. 

“No worries, you can come in, if you want. It’s just me.”

Kim hesitates for a second before grinning. “Thanks. You’re Chay, right? We have calculus together.”

Chay groans. “Please don’t remind me of that torture disguised as education.”

Kim laughs, sitting next to him and pulling a lunch box out of his bag. “So I’m not the only one who thinks that?”

“Nope,” Chay confirms. “And I bet you’re also thinking about how it’s taught by an old geezer with a stick up his ass, which I have to agree with.”

Kim almost chokes on his food, looking at Chay with a mixture of confusion and amusement. “I’m not sure I would’ve put it that way, but you’re not wrong.”

Chay laughs. “Do you come here a lot, by the way? I come here almost every day, but we’ve never crossed paths.”

Kim nods, swallowing a bite of food before speaking. “I do too, but I usually have student council meetings during this block.”

"Student council?"

"I'm the president."

Chay whistles, impressed. He probably should've known that, but he doesn't care much about class events.

"Cool," he says, then tilts his head. “Do you play?” he asks, gesturing at the decorative little guitar pick dangling from Kim’s necklace.

“Yeah, I do, actually. You too?” Chay nods. 

“Do you have one of your own?” Chay asks, and he sees Kim’s eyes light up.

“I do. I don’t mean to brag, but,” he says, leaning in as he pulls out his phone to show Chay a picture.

After that, the flood gates open. They talk for hours. Not hours. They talk for the whole lunch break, but it feels like hours. Chay’s never had a better first impression of someone. Whenever he meets new people, even when he first met Ohm, he tends to be very polite, smiling kindly and being slightly reserved. But today? He feels like he can’t stop talking, and Kim returns his enthusiasm in kind. It’s like they’ve been good friends for years, rather than strangers until thirty minutes ago. He's surprised how nice it is to hang out with Kim, but maybe that's his own biases about The Popular Kids creeping in.

Their interests seem perfectly aligned, and they don’t run out of things to talk about the whole time. Chay wants to invite Kim over so he can show him the guitar Porsche got him for Christmas, and they can play together. It’s very weird, since Chay’s never wanted to bring anyone over, let alone someone he just met. It’s not even that he thinks Kim would decline, Kim seems just as thrilled as he is to be sharing these kinds of conversations.

To be honest, he feels a little special to see a side of the boy he doesn’t show to just anyone. Well, at least, he’s never shown it to Chay before... He feels a little less special after that thought. This is probably how Kim is with all his friends, and since Chay’s never had a proper conversation with him before, it would make sense that he’s never seen it.

They talk all the way up until the bell rings, letting them know they have five minutes to get to their next class, which, conveniently, is one they share. Chay stands and cracks his back, stiff from how he was leaning back on his arms. Kim waits for him to grab his bag before they start walking together.

“Valentine’s Day is coming up,” Kim says, holding the door open for Chay. “Have anyone special you’re gonna buy chocolates for?”

Chay chuckles a little. “Not me. I’m too busy trying to graduate.”

Kim nods his head, looking forward as they walk through the halls.

Chay bites his cheek. It’s the first awkward silence since they started talking, and he doesn’t like it at all.

“What about you?” Chay asks to get the conversation flowing again.

Kim just shrugs.

Having no idea what to do with that, Chay keeps his mouth shut. 

When they enter the classroom, Chay walks slowly, not sure if he’s supposed to sit in his usual seat or follow Kim. When Kim sits down and doesn’t acknowledge Chay, he takes it as a sign and almost starts to walk past Kim to his seat down the aisle, but he pauses, bites his lip, working up the nerve. 

Finally, he turns back to Kim and holds out his phone.

“Can I get your number?” Chay says, which immediately sounds more forward than he was hoping for. But Kim just blinks at him, then chuckles and hands over his own phone. Chay quickly types his number in, and when he gets his phone back there’s a new contact: kim :)

[jungshookz]

y/n is smitten with jungkook and it’s really, truly driving her crazy

➺ pairing; jeon jungkook x reader 

➺ genre; university!au!! hello newbie bff!kook!! woohoo this is part one of a brand new mini-series!! honk honk humour!! boo hoo angst!! jungkook and y/n are bestie goals!! y/n feeds jungkook at one point which is pretty cute too 

➺ wordcount; 5.3k

➺ summary; y/n finally decides to tell jungkook about her feelings for him and she doesn’t know if she’s ever been this nervous about anything before. 

➺ what to expect; “when you like someone... do you think that you should tell them that you like them?” 

                                       »»————-　🖤　————-««

“i have special feelings for you.”

your face screws up in disgust as soon as the sentence comes out of your mouth and you shudder before shaking your head 

‘special feelings’?!

you’re definitely scratching that one off the list 

special feelings

way to sound like a creep 

“c’mon, y/n,” you grumble, pushing yourself up from the sink before reaching up to knock against your forehead, “think, think, think...” 

you’ve been in the washroom for the last half an hour just talking to yourself in the mirror and it’s safe to say that it hasn’t been a very productive half an hour because you’ve basically been spitting the same sentence out in increasingly cringeworthy ways 

“...i think i like you?”

see, now why did you word that one like a question?

do you think you like him or do you actually like him?? 

where’s the confidence??

where’s the oomph factor?! 

“no, wait, i mean-” you wince and quickly shake your head, “what i meant to say was that i think that i know that i like y- no, no, listen to me, i actually like you-”

well, if there’s one thing that can be said for sure, it’s that this is going absolutely nowhere 

the past two months of your life has been consumed with you debating with yourself in your head about whether or not you should tell jungkook that you like him or if you should just bottle it up and keep your feelings shoved deep, deep inside your soul for the rest of your life and even the entirety of your afterlife

it was approximately a week ago that you finally decided it would be best to just put your big girl pants on and tell jungkook about your feelings for him because you know yourself and you feel like you might really go crazy if you don’t do anything about it 

of course, you wouldn’t have come to that decision if it wasn’t for something he’d said during a library study session 

"should you tell someone that you like them?”

“-!” you immediately choke on your water and quickly twist the cap back on the bottle before patting your chest lightly and looking up towards jungkook, “what?” 

“when you like someone... do you think that you should tell them that you like them?” he asks, continuing to type away at his laptop as if he didn’t just ask you what seems to be a pretty loaded question, “or should you just keep it to yourself? to not accidentally make things weird, you know?” 

why would he suddenly bring something like this up? 

“i, um...” you clear your throat before offering him a halfhearted shrug, “well, i- i mean, if you- i think that if you have serious feelings for a person- like, if you know that it isn’t just a silly little crush-” you pause for a second to collect your thoughts so you can string them into a coherent sentence before going on, “okay, let me put it this way: if you know that your feelings for this person are genuine and that you really do want to pursue a romantic relationship with them, then, yeah. yeah, i think you should tell the person that you like them. because if you don’t, you’ll live the rest of your life wondering what would’ve happened if you did tell them, you know? if you do tell them about your feelings, then you don’t have to wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of your life.” 

“huh.” jungkook looks up at you from his laptop before giving you a nod and a hum, “i guess you’re right... yeah, that makes sense. but what would you do if they didn’t feel the same way?”

you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously at his question and the little voice in the back of your head warns you to stay cool and definitely don’t get your hopes up 

he can’t possibly be talking about you and him, can he?

...but if he’s not talking about you and him, then why would he bring the topic up in the first place? 

oh my god. does jungkook like me too? 

“well, i-” you can’t hide the soft smile on your face from the thought of jungkook having feelings for you but you quickly remind yourself that he hasn’t said anything like that at all and has really just asked you a simple question, “i don’t think you have anything to worry about, kook. you’re, like- you know, you’re super nice and funny and- yeah, i- i think if you told someone that you liked them, there would be a 100% chance of them liking you back.” 

“do you really think so?” jungkook’s gaze softens and you feel your heart skip a beat at the sight 

oh, god

you are so whipped for him, aren’t you?

“of course! i know so. is there- is there a reason why you asked?” you ask quickly as you lean forward, wanting to take advantage of the conversation before he loses interest in the topic

“well, i just wanted your opinion on it, because i feel like you always have something logical to say.” jungkook smiles, gently nudging your leg with his foot underneath the table, “i trust you.”  

i trust you.

“i... i like you... and...” you frown at the piece of paper in your hands before looking back up at yourself in the mirror 

perhaps it would be better to not follow your script word for word 

this message should come from your heart, right? it shouldn’t come from a crumpled up piece of notebook paper that’s been living at the bottom of your backpack for the past week 

you nod to yourself as you fold the sheet of paper in half before tucking it into your back pocket 

“okay, i have something that i’ve been wanting to talk to you about,” you breathe out, shutting your eyes for a second to imagine his face in front of you before opening them again, “before you freak out, it’s really not that big of a deal. we are... we’ve been friends for- we are friends, and friends are honest with each other, so this is me being honest with you. i like you. i like you, as in, i have feelings for you. and to be completely honest, i’ve liked you for nearly a year now, which, i know is a pretty long time to have kept it a secret, but- i’ve tried multiple times to force myself to not like you but at this point it’s become clear that my feelings aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. i guess it doesn’t help that we basically spend every day together, right? anyways, if you don’t feel the same way, that’s completely fine. i promise i won’t let it ruin our friendship because i really do cherish you as a friend and the last thing i want is to make things weird, so... you don’t have to worry about hurting my feelings, you know? i just want you to be honest with me, too. ...yeah.” you finish your little monologue with a smile as you give yourself a quick pat on the back 

okay, not half bad! 

it’s short, it’s sweet, you get straight to the point, you have a safety net to fall back on- 

you jolt in surprise at the sound of a splash and a whoosh of a toilet flushing from one of the stalls behind you and you press your lips together tightly and look down when someone steps out 

wonderful

you just gave someone a free show! 

she doesn’t say a word as she steps up to the sink next to you, her bracelets clinking together as she scrubs her hands under the running water 

she twists the tap off with a creak before leaning down to look underneath the mirror for the paper tissue dispenser 

she stands back up before pointing towards the one under your mirror, “could you pass me some paper tissues?”

“uh, yeah, for sure-” you quickly reach under and yank a couple of paper tissues out of the dispenser before handing them over to her with a sheepish smile, “by the way, i was just- i was just practicing a monologue, so...” you clear your throat quietly and she gives you a stiff smile and a nod before turning to head towards the door 

you mouth a silent ‘oh my god’ and reach up to bite your fist as soon as she turns away, your entire face now red from getting caught basically confessing your feelings to yourself in a dimly-lit restroom like a total weirdo 

“hey-” the stranger turns to look at you from the door, “good luck with your- um, your monologue.” she smiles softly, a knowing glint in her eyes, “i hope it works out for you.”

“oh!” you return a smile while reaching up to scratch the back of your neck, “uh, thank you. so do i.” 

the door shuts with a slow creak and you exhale slowly before turning to face yourself in the mirror again before chuckling lightly, “god, so do i.” 

                                      »»————-　🖤　————-««

before you freak out, it’s really not that big of a deal...

you adjust the strap of your backpack as you push the door open and step out of the bathroom, a blast of cool air from the library immediately making the hairs on your arms prickle to life 

we’re friends, and friends are honest with each other, so this is me being honest with you...

you reach down to press your palm flat over your tummy when you feel it rumble

i like you, as in, i have feelings for you...

you and jungkook are supposed to meet for lunch today and that’s when you decided you were going to tell him, but now you’re starting to wonder if maybe you can push it to tomorrow or something because you’re starting to get really, really nervous 

i’ve liked you for nearly a year now, which, i know is a pretty long time to have kept it a secret. i’ve tried multiple times to force myself to not like you but at this point it’s become clear that my feelings aren’t going anywhere anytime soon...

the smell of freshly-baked pizza suddenly tickles at your nose and you look up to see that muscle memory has already brought you to the building that you’re meeting jungkook at 

if you don’t feel the same way, that’s completely fine. i promise i won’t let it ruin our friendship because i really do cherish you as a friend and the last thing i want is to make things weird...

“okay, y/n. you’ve got this.” you mutter, looking at the doors of the building as you straighten your back, “everything is going to be-”

“hey, there you are!” 

you grunt in surprise when you’re suddenly being tackled from behind, strong arms wrapping themselves around you and lifting you up for a split second before you’re being set back down on the ground again 

“jesus, kook-” you immediately spin around and grab onto jungkook’s forearms to keep yourself steady as you wait for your eyeballs to stop rolling around in your skull, “someone’s certainly in a good mood today!” 

“i’ve been thinking about pizza ever since i woke up!” he chirps, turning you back around before pushing you towards the doors eagerly, “let’s go, let’s go, let’s go-”

“alright, alright-” you laugh lightly, smiling as jungkook brushes past you to hold the door open for you, “how did your midterm go?”

“actually, it went a lot better than i expected!” jungkook nods enthusiastically as the two of you join the queue of hungry students

he turns to glance at you for a second before raising his head slightly so he can take a look at the menu up front, “i think the mock quiz you made for me really helped.”

“hey, that’s good! that’s good.” you nod slowly, pausing for a second before clearing your throat, “hey, by the way- there was something that i wanted to talk to you about.” 

“ooh, i actually have something that i want to talk to you about, too.” jungkook grins before leaning over to nudge your side with his elbow, “i think you’re going to like what i have to say.” 

“i- i am?” you raise an eyebrow, “well, what do you want to talk ab-”

“yeah, four slices of pepperoni, please.” 

“to go or for here?”

you don’t get a chance to say anything else because the two of you are already up at the front and you shut up before hurrying to grab your wallet 

“for here, please. and... hold on, gimme a sec-” jungkook pulls his student card out of his wallet before handing it to the cashier, “and an order of cheesy garlic knots too. oh, and also, two little cup-thingys of garlic aioli. what do you want to drink?” he turns to look at you and you blink owlishly before realizing that he’s paying for all of the food

“oh, you don’t have to-” you raise your own student card, “i can pay for the knots-”

“relax, you can just get it next time.” jungkook snorts before nodding towards the drinks in the back, “what do you wanna drink?” 

“oh, okay, i-” you narrow your eyes to look at the drinks before nodding, “can i get a lemon iced tea, please?”

“i’ll just get a coke.” 

you stay quiet as jungkook pays for the meal, the cashier handing him the receipt a second later 

“do you wanna find a table for us before it gets too crowded?” jungkook turns back to look at you before taking his bag off his shoulder, “here- put my bag on the seat so no one will take it.”  

“’mkay, got it.” 

it seems that lady luck is on your side today when you end up spotting two empty stools facing the windows and you hurry your way over before anyone else grabs the seats 

you carefully weave your way around the tables, being careful not to knock into anyone’s chairs or the back of anyone’s head (it happened to you once and it was not a pleasant feeling.)

you grin in success as you set jungkook’s bag down on the first one before settling yourself down on the second one 

everything is working out wonderfully today! 

“oop-” you feel a little crunch in your back pocket when you sit down and you lift yourself up for a second to quickly reach behind and- “oh-” your eyes widen in panic when you realize that you just pulled out what’s basically your love letter to jungkook and you hurry to take your backpack off so you can quickly put it away

“y/n, the nice girl gave me a brownie on the house!” 

you feel your anxiety skyrocket through the roof when you hear jungkook’s voice coming up behind you and all the alarms begin to blare at the sight of the note that’s still in your hand

“we can share it!” jungkook chirps, now standing right behind you with a tray full of food, “can you lift my bag for a second?”

“uh, yes! yes, i-” you grab jungkook’s bag off the chair with a grunt and plop it down on your lap next to your own backpack before turning to look at kook with a smile, “free brownie again? that was nice of her.” you blindly feel for an opening on your bag before shoving the note into it right as jungkook gets settled next to you 

pheW 

crisis averted 

“i know, right? i think she might like me- or maybe she likes you, i don’t know-”

“i’m pretty sure you’re the one she’s batting her lashes at, kook,” you snort, turning to glance back towards the front counter to see one of the girls staring in your guys’ direction with a dreamy smile on her face, “i feel like she’d behead me if i touched your brownie.” 

“it’s okay, we can still share it- oh my god, everything smells so good.” jungkook slides the box of garlic knots with a little cup of aioli sitting on top of it over to you, “let me get a couple of bites in before i start talking- you want a bite of pizza?”

“mm-mm, i’m fine with my garlic knots.” you smile, popping the flimsy paper box open and immediately being hit in the face with the rich scent of butter and garlic, “wanna try?” you ask, tearing a chunk off one of them before dipping it into the sauce

 “mm, gimme.” jungkook leans over before opening his mouth eagerly and chomping at the air and you can’t help but giggle before feeding him the bite

a minute or so ticks by where the two of you sit in comfortable silence and you chew thoughtfully as you stare out the window  

you feel good!

you feel good about this 

you feel like all the lights are green and all you have to do is rev the engine and slam down on the gas 

you know what to say, you know exactly how to say it, and you’ve planned out all possible routes of how this conversation with jungkook might go 

a) the 'oh my god, this is really happening’ scenario: you tell him you like him, he tells you he likes you back = you’ll enjoy each other’s company for the rest of lunch and maybe he’ll hold your hand when he walks you to your next class afterwards

b) the 'you’re a really good friend, but no’ scenario: you tell him you like him, he tells you that he doesn’t feel the same way and that he just wants to be friends = you tell him that it’s completely fine and that you’ll get over it, you’ll enjoy each other’s company for the rest of lunch and afterwards he will definitely not hold your hand when he walks you to your next class which is fine because friends don’t hold hands with friends 

c) the ‘yikes, this is awkward’ scenario: you tell him you like him, he reacts with discomfort and mild disgust = you’re slightly offended but you still tell him that you understand anD that you’re willing to give him as much time and space as he needs, and you’ll walk to class alone 

...you really, really hope it’s not the last scenario that unfolds. 

“-said yes!” jungkook slaps a hand down on the sticky metal counter before letting out a laugh, “can you believe it?”

oh god

you’ve been so in your head this whole time that you completely missed the exciting news that jungkook was waiting all day to tell you about 

do you want to ask him to repeat himself or do you want to pretend like you were listening to him the whole time? 

“that’s... i’m so... happy for you...?” you trail off sheepishly, jungkook turning to look at you before snorting 

“you weren’t listening to me, were you?” 

“i was!” you argue before gesturing out the window, “i totally was, i was just- i was just a little distracted because of the pigeons outside-” 

“okay, well, let me just tell you again-” jungkook wipes his greasy fingers on a napkin before turning to face you slightly, his knees knocking against the side of your legs, “i finally did it. i finally grew a pair and i finally asked ji-eun out and she said YES!” 

“hey, look at you go! that’s so-” you immediately clam up when his words finally settle into the deepest depths of your brain and you feel your heart plummet to your stomach 

oh 

...

oh. 

well, it looks like you weren’t as prepared as you thought you were 

d) the ‘i just asked someone out so i clearly don’t have feelings for you’ scenario: you don’t get a chance to tell jungkook about your feelings for him, jungkook tells you that he likes someone else, and you... 

what do you do? 

“hey, what’s the matter?” jungkook frowns, tilting his head before reaching over to give your shoulder a shake, “you haven’t said anything in, like, a minute.”

you didn’t even know he was interested in someone else 

the name ji-eun sounds a little familiar to you — now that you think about it, you’re fairly sure jungkook’s brought her up before (something something i sit next to this girl something something she’s nice and she let me borrow a pen something something along those lines) 

she’s in his sociology class, you think?

“-great!” you blurt out, forcing a bright smile on your face as you look over at him, “sorry, i just- i was just processing your great news so i guess my brain just shut off for a second- that’s so... great, kook. super great.” 

“isn’t it?!” jungkook clasps his hands together before taking his bottom lip in between his teeth, his eyes all wide and twinkly, “i mean, i was actually surprised she said yes, you know? i practiced what i was going to say to her all week- i stumbled over my words a couple of times but if anything i think she found it endearing...” 

jungkook’s voice starts to fade out in the background as you turn to look back out the window

the chunk of bread in your mouth feels like it’s getting bigger and bigger as you continue to chew 

suddenly you’ve lost your appetite 

okay

well 

this is... this is fine. 

this is fine, right? 

if anything, this is great news! 

at least now you know that jungkook definitely doesn’t feel the same way, which is... fine! 

it’s fine

and it’s a good thing that he started babbling first because you can’t even imagine what would’ve happened if you’d spewed your news out first

once again: crisis averted! 

you let out a little sigh as your shoulders droop slightly

you had prepared yourself for what to do if jungkook didn’t feel the same way about you... so why does it feel like you’re flailing around in the middle of the ocean trying desperately to keep your head above the water? 

“to be honest, i probably wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for what you said to me in the library last week,” jungkook hums, “you know, about how you should go for it otherwise you’ll be left wondering ‘what if’ for the rest of your li-”

“yeah, yeah, i remember.” you interrupt him a little more crassly than intended before reminding yourself to loosen up, “i- yeah. i remember. i’m glad i could help.” 

“oh, and you have to help me plan the date- everything has to be perfect.” jungkook reaches over to poke a finger into your arm, “you know i’m no good at all the mushy romance stuff, but you certainly are.” 

“well, i-” you let out a nervous chuckle before shrugging, “i mean, everyone’s different, you know? i, um... i don’t know if it’s a good idea that i help you plan out the date and stuff because- you know, i... i don’t know anything about ji-eun! you know more than i do, so i probably won’t be able to-”

“i feel like dinner and a movie would be super boring.” jungkook sighs as he folds his grease-stained paper plate in half before pushing it away, “i mean, i definitely still wanna take her out for food and stuff, but-”

“i would argue that a dinner and a movie is a good first date,” you shake your head, “you know, you get to talk and get to know each other during the dinner, and then during the movie, you don’t have to talk to each other for like, an hour and forty minutes so you get a bit of break.” 

“i mean, i guess, but... oh, shit, i’m sorry.” jungkook winces, suddenly perking up a little, “you said you wanted to talk to me about something, right? tell me about your thing first before we plan my date.”

“my thing?” your lashes flutter and you feel your ears starting to get hot at the reminder of what exactly your thing is, “oh, god, i- it’s nothing, now that i think about it. it was something... it was something silly, so- like, i don’t even remember what i wanted to- it’s stupid. it was stupid, it’s nothing.” you chuckle uncomfortably as you rub at the back of your neck, “let’s just keep- let’s just keep planning your date! i wanna keep planning your date.” 

“okay, well- if you change your mind at any point, i’m all ears.” 

“mhm.” you nod as you swirl the chunk of bread around in the aioli absentmindedly before letting go of it, “got it.”

“ooh, i’ve got it!” your eyes widen when jungkook suddenly reaches over and takes your hands in his, forcing your stool to swivel around so that you’re face-to-face with him, “imagine that i asked you out on a date.”

“u-us? on a date?” you swallow thickly, “that- that’s so dumb, kook-”

“no, listen, listen-” he chuckles, giving your hands a squeeze, “if i asked you out on a date, what would we do together?” 

“well, i...” you look down at your hands in his (and for a second you can’t help but feel as though your hands just fit together perfectly) as you think of what to say, “we... we like pizza, right? i think, like- we could order a pizza and a box of garlic knots and maybe have some kind of a picnic on the rooftop of your apartment building. i mean- you’d probably have to decorate the rooftop first with a bunch of little twinkly lights and you’d have to lay out a blanket and some pillows to make it comfortable, otherwise we’d just be sitting in the dark on the cold, hard ground, but- yeah. i... i think that would be really nice. because it’s an intimate setting and it gives us the chance to talk in private, and we could literally stay up there all night if we wanted to and... you know, watch the sun rise and stuff. so... if we went out on a date, that’s what we would do together.” 

the little voice in the back of your head suddenly reminds you (quite cruelly) that you, in fact, were not asked out by jungkook and you won’t be having a romantic rooftop picnic with him and you immediately pull your hands away from his before laughing nervously, “but you know, that’s just an idea, so you don’t have to take it.” 

your face feels hot as you turn away from jungkook and you look down at your cold garlic knots before reaching over to shut the lid and push it away 

“mm... no, i actually like that!” jungkook nods eagerly, “i like that a lot- i mean, a rooftop picnic is a little cheesy, but i think ji-eun will think it’s cute!” 

“great!” you clear your throat, “as long as ji-eun thinks it’s cute, i think it’s great-”

“will you help me set it up?” 

great. 

he’s really rubbing salt into your wound, isn’t he?

“i... of course! i would love to.” you smile stiffly before lifting the sleeve of your hoodie to check the time on your watch, “so, i'm gonna head out, i think- i need to get to my next class early if i wanna get a good spot-”

“mm, okay-” jungkook slurps up the rest of his coke before shaking the empty paper cup, “i can walk you there! i’m done for the day so i think i’m just going to go hang out in the library- ooh, i can plan out my date while i wait for you-” 

“oh, you don’t have to walk me to class, it’s fine.” you dismiss him with a flick of your wrist as you pull your backpack on, wanting desperately to just end the conversation so you can get the hell out of here, “i can just meet you in the library after i’m done.” 

“are you sure?” he frowns, reaching over to pick up your box, “hey, you didn’t finish your garlic knots-”

“i know, i just- i guess i wasn’t super hungry.” you shrug, “you can take them if you want! you paid for them, so...” 

“okay, in that case, i’m just gonna hang out here and finish up these knots and then i’ll go to the library.” jungkook plops back down on his seat before reaching over to punch your arm gently, “text me when you’re done, bud!” 

                                     »»————-　🖤　————-««

“-now, for this next portion, i just want you to take some notes down on your computers or your notebooks or whatever you have- think about any thematic concerns in the poem that stand out to you...” 

you draw circles on the blank page of your notebook in disinterest as the sound of your professor’s voice drones on and on in the background and your mind immediately takes you back to what just went down with jungkook

your hand freezes on the page and you let out a quiet little huff 

damnit!

you said that you weren’t going to be all mopey if things didn’t work out, but here you are, all sad and droopy and very much radiating woe-is-me energy 

all you know now is that you’re going to take your feelings out on a big ol’ pint of ice cream tonight 

by the way, you should probably throw out your little love letter because you certainly don’t need any embarrassing reminders of what you were going to say to jungkook 

you don’t even want to think about what could’ve happened if you told him you liked him before he told you that he’d just asked someone out 

you set your pen down before leaning down to unzip your backpack, reaching in and blindly rummaging around for a crumpled up piece of paper 

...

hm 

you frown, leaning down further to get your arm deeper into your bag

your fingers bump up against your planner, your wallet, your water bottle and your pencil case, but... 

that’s odd 

you roll your eyes in frustration as you pull your backpack up off the ground and plop it down on your lap with a fwump!, unzipping it all the way and opening it up so you can get a better look inside 

you pull everything out and set your belongings down on the small table one by one, being careful not to make too much noise as to distract the professor 

you’re more than confused as you stare into your empty bag after taking all the contents out of it 

what? 

where the hell is it? 

you reach into the side pockets and you’re disappointed when you end up pulling out old tissues and empty gum wrappers 

it’s not in the front pocket either — just your key, a pack of bubblegum, and a small bottle of hand sanitizer 

your brows knit together in deep thought as you settle back against your seat, your eyes flickering to the side as you- 

you immediately pale 

oh my god.

you’re positive that your heart stops beating for three whole seconds the moment you realize where exactly the note is — because no, you idiot, you didn’t shove it into your own bag earlier-

the note is in jungkook’s bag. 

🎙️help me help you make your wishes come true (send me a request!)

✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here? (full fics!)

💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles/mini series like this one!)

🌟or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)

[ssaalexmiller]

Lincoln High Pt. 2 of IWILWMT

Part 2 of I Was in Love with My Tutor!

The last few weeks of Alex’s senior year and the events of graduation.

not my gif.

May, 1987 in Kansas City, Missouri           

           “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

           Y/N looked up to see Alex, who sat next to her and placed her lunch tray on the cafeteria table. It had been a month since the “tutoring” session and the two women had progressively gotten closer to each other. Of course, most of their time was spent with their respective friend groups, but during calculus they bonded and that was all they needed.

           “Strange to see you here in the cafeteria,” Y/N answered. “No reading to be done today?”

           Alex was usually out in the courtyard with her small friend group, or in the library reading her favourite book: Madame Bovary. Throughout the entire year, Y/N had only ever seen Alex eating lunch in the cafeteria twice prior to their current interaction, so it was understandable that Y/N was slightly confused. She silently hoped that Alex was here because she missed Y/N’s company, but she would never admit that out loud.

           Alex took a bite out of a cold baby carrot, before answering, “Well, you haven’t been in calculus. I had to make sure that you’re not skipping school.”

           It was a joke, which was evident by the playful look in Alex’s brown eyes.

           Y/N hadn’t been in school for a week. Or technically, she had been, but her AP exams were taking up her time and after each exam was over, she was allowed to leave campus for the day. Finally, exam season was finished and the year would be closing out in two weeks—which she couldn’t wait for.

           “How’d you do on your AP exams?”

           “I think I did okay. I’m surprised you didn’t take any.”

           Alex scoffed jokingly, “Are you kidding? I wanted my senior year to be easy. Honours courses are good enough for me this year. Plus, I wouldn’t have been able to put my AP scores on my college apps anyway.”

           “It’s not like you need it, Miss Full ride to Berkeley.”

           Alex smiled, before asking Y/N on details for how her exams went. If only Y/N knew that Alex had taken the exams during her junior year, and the only reason Alex asked for details was because Y/N’s voice made her day so much brighter. Both women were completely fixed on each other, rejecting all other voices in the loud cafeteria.

           It was about halfway through lunch, when Y/N noticed someone watching them talk—or more likely, someone watching Alex talk. A boy, senior and wearing a Harvard sweater, stood up from his seat, and approached the two girls.

           “Hey, Alex. Hi… uh—“

           “Y/N,” Alex said. “Y/N, this is James—my boyfriend.”

           “Oh, you’re Y/N? Alex has told me so much about you.”

           Y/N nearly spit her water out, but didn’t. Instead she brushed it off--her mind focusing on the fact that James was Alex’s boyfriend and somehow missing the fact that Alex talked about her--and smiled at her crush’s partner.

           “Hi, nice to meet you,” Y/N lied right through her teeth. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. How long have you guys been dating?”

           Y/N learned that Alex and James had been together for a few weeks, and they had just made it official during the week of AP exams. Y/N used all of her strength to not show how devastated she was that Alex was taken. She was very happy that Alex had found someone, especially someone who seemed as nice and smart as James, but she was… disappointed that it wasn’t her.

           The rest of lunch flew by slowly, Y/N allowing Alex and James to lead the conversation about their first date, their plans for college, and a lot of other stuff that Y/N was trying to care about for the sake of Alex. When the bell rang, James ran off to his next class while Alex and Y/N walked to calculus together.

           “I’m sorry if that got a little awkward. He’s incredibly social,” Alex apologized, giving Y/N a soft smile. “Do you like him? You guys seem like you’d get along.”

           “Oh, yeah, he’s great. I’m really happy for you,” Y/N replied, which was honestly an instinctual response. She wasn’t exactly going to say, “Actually, I don’t think we’d get along because I’m literally madly in love with you.”

           Alex felt an awkward energy take the place of the usually happy energy that she always felt around Y/N. It was like James flipped a switch, but Alex couldn’t figure out why it happened. Did Y/N have a problem with her talking about their friendship with James? Was she forcing Y/N into a third-wheel position? Did Y/N have a crush on James?

           Alex knew that something was wrong when Y/N seemed incredibly exhausted when listening to their teacher talk. Usually, she was focused and listening, but now she was somewhere else. It was concerning.

           The bell rang, and Alex pulled Y/N to the side of the hallway to talk.

           “Are you okay? Why are you sad all of a sudden?” Alex asked softly, the concern in her voice making Y/N melt slightly.

           “I’m okay. I think I’m just tired,” Y/N yawned, which nearly sold Alex on the lie—except for the fact that nearly two hours earlier she was just fine.

           “Are you sure?”

           Y/N nodded.

           “Okay… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

           Alex reluctantly walked away, but one thought crossed her mind, and it was a thought she would never say out loud.

Graduation Day- June 1987

           “Congratulations, Class of 1987!”

           The auditorium was loud with cheering graduates and their families—but Alex wasn’t focused on that, or the graduation caps that were flying in the air. Instead, she was looking for someone in particular.

           “Hey. Congratulations on vale.”

           Alex turned to find James standing next to her, and he gave her a soft kiss on her cheek.

           “Thanks, handsome. Let’s see if you have a chance in college,” Alex teased, her salutatorian boyfriend rolling his eyes. “I’ll see you on Saturday, right?”

           The seniors in their friend group were having a little graduation party at James’ family’s cabin as one last night together. There was no guarantee that they would all see each other together again, and that was exactly why Alex was looking for Y/N.

           Y/N had been part of the decorating committee for graduation due to her position in her class council, which also meant she was in the clean up party as well. They hadn’t had a real chance to talk ever since the incident with James, and she wanted to mend their connection, which had gone fairly cold in the past few weeks. Alex didn’t know why, but she knew that she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t leave on a good note with Y/N. James gave her a kiss goodnight, before she stalked off to find her friend.

           Alex sighed in relief when she found Y/N standing backstage, peaking through the stage curtains as if she was also looking for someone.

           “There you are.”

           Y/N jumped a little before feeling relieved to see Alex standing behind her.

           “God, you scared me,” Y/N chuckled, her heart speeding up slightly due to the scare and Alex’s presence. “I was looking for you…”

           Y/N looked at Alex, whose graduation gown was undone to show off the elegant white dress under it. The cap on her head rested on her wavy, dark auburn hair. The blue colour of the set somehow complemented the colour of her eyes. Y/N saw the gold cord resting around Alex’s shoulders, along with a silver stoll that read Valedictorian ’87. She was proud of Alex… very proud.

           “Funny. I was looking for you, too,” Alex smiled, before sighing, “I’m sorry about the past few weeks. I… I wanted to find you so we wouldn’t end on a bad note.”

           “Same here,” Y/N replied, unable to form any more words as Alex got closer. She was so beautiful and kind. James was lucky to have such a thoughtful, kind, beautiful, and intelligent woman.

           Over the past few weeks, Y/N had come to terms with her feelings for Alex, realizing that it was probably never meant to be. Alex was going away to college in California, and Y/N had a year left of high school in Missouri—which would be followed by her collegiate years at NYU. By then, Alex and James would probably be living together and starting the rest of their lives. She didn’t want Alex to leave thinking she hated her—Alex was worth more than a shitty goodbye during their last math class together.

           “It’s not your fault that I’ve been distant the past few weeks. I was just… I was just feeling a little down about some personal stuff,” Y/N said. “I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, and I’m really sorry that I made you feel anything but good.”

           “Well, I’m sorry for not talking to you sooner. For someone pursuing linguistics, I’m god awful at communication sometimes,” Alex joked.

           Y/N laughed, before reaching into her bag and pulling out a nicely wrapped present. It was in a matte purple box with a silver bow tied around it.

           “I hope this makes a sufficient apology.”

           Alex smiled, replying, “You didn’t have to.”

           “I wanted to. Open it.”

           Alex obeyed, opening the box to find a book—her favourite book. She had read it many times, but this edition was different. It was printed in the original French, which was something she had always wanted to analyze.

           “You mentioned at the beginning of the year during your icebreaker that you wanted to study French, and I knew your favourite book was Madame Bovary, so I thought maybe it’d be a good present,” Y/N explained, before seeing the shocked look on Alex’s face. “Um, do you like it?”

           Y/N nearly fell onto the floor with the amount of force that Alex used to leap into a hug. Y/N’s cheeks felt warm as she wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck, and she felt like she was nearly going to die when Alex squeezed her tighter.

           “I love it… thank you.”

           The hug lasted so long, but neither of them wanted to let go. It was maybe two minutes later that they finally pulled away, but they both still kept the smiles on their faces as if they were super-glued on.

           Y/N was so happy to see Alex smile so contently—it was possibly the best thing that she had ever seen. God, she would give Alex a thousand more books just to see that smile every day.

           “Here,” Alex said, twisting a sterling silver ring off of her hand and taking Y/N’s right hand, slipping it onto her ring finger. “Since you got me a gift, here is yours.”

           Alex wished she had something better and nicer to giver—the ring was worth $10 at most, but Y/N appreciated it nonetheless.

           “Well, thank you very much, Alex,” Y/N said, the smile on her face refusing to disappear. “I hope this isn’t goodbye.”

           “I hope so too.”

           Alex looked at her watch, before remembering that her family was waiting for her in the parking lot.

           “I have to go… I’ll see you around, Y/N.”

           Alex hugged Y/N one last time, before boldly placing a kiss on Y/N’s cheek.

           “See you around, Alex…” Y/N replied, before watching Alex walk away.

           Y/N fiddled with the new ring on her hand, which somehow fit perfectly, and smiled at the thought of Alex’s arms around her. She reached her hand up to touch her cheek, the ghost of Alex’s kiss lingering on her face, before taking a deep breath and grabbing the mop she needed to help clean up.

[fairyoftbz]

lavande | l. hyunjae

🥡 pairing: crush!hyunjae x fem!reader 🥡 wc: 3.2k 🥡 genre: fluff, university au, slice of life 🥡 tw: none? i think? 🥡 synopsis: as you are talking to Chanhee, your crush appears in the lecture room, leaving you with a hammering heart. 🥡 a/n: it's already Monday again, so posting time!! i wrote this because i kinda miss uni without covid, I had such a good time back in 2019 😩 feedback is always appreciated!! <33 🥡 requested: yes, thank you! i hope it's good enough!!

╰☆☆☆☆╮

“Have you done the readings we were supposed to?” Chanhee whispered in your ear as you turned on your computer, the screen remaining black made you frown as you quickly glanced at your friend, hand deep in your backpack to find your charger.

“Wait, let me guess. With the abandoned puppy eyes you're giving me, you want me to summarise what this was about, am I right?"

“Please Y/N, I didn't have time this week, it has been so hectic! I promise I'll buy you a coffee," you waved your hand in front of your face to let him know that he didn't need to, and you leaned your arm under the table to look for a plug while summarising what you had understood to your friend.

He listened intently until his eyes looked over your head, a smirk forming on his mouth. You frowned for a split second but continued your explanation, noticing that the smile didn't want to leave Chanhee's face. You deeply sighed, trying to make your friend pay attention, but it was to no avail. He was busy looking at something else.

“Are you listening to me, or am I talking to my computer?” you asked, and your friend returned your attention to you, his puppy look made you shake your head and roll your eyes. He looked behind you one last time, and you turned around in frustration, your breath getting stuck in your throat as you discovered what was amusing Chanhee so much.

You did a double-take when you noticed the man standing at the entrance, your pulse quickening as your hands became sweaty and hot. Every student around you, including Chanhee holding your arm to hear the rest of your explanation, disappeared from your field of view. You only had eyes for the one who stole your heart without realising it.

Hyunjae pushed the lecture door open and held it out for the group following him, politely nodding at the blushing girl that thanked him. He pursed his lips and scanned the auditorium, trying to find a familiar face to sit next to. The air was stuffy and odorous, the young man cursing the caretakers for not ventilate it more often as he was almost sweating because of his outfit. His white turtleneck and pants, as well as the lavender sweater, were thick enough for him to be warm to walk from his apartment since it was still quite chilly in the morning, but he felt like he was wearing winter clothes in the middle of a heatwave when he entered this room.

“Wow,” you murmured under your breath and looked down on your phone, trying to hide your attraction for him from your friends around you, your right hand holding your head up, hiding your eyes at the same time. You heard Chanhee mockingly exhale through his nose as he noticed you munching on your bottom lip, a habit of yours he had caught a glimpse of you doing when you were stressed or embarrassed. In this current case, you were both.

Tugging on the collar of his white turtleneck, Hyunjae sighed in annoyance as he walked down the first few steps. Cursing himself for arriving so late, he sighed as the only remaining seats were in the first few rows, where he had almost 99% of the chance of getting chosen by the professor to answer a question. He dropped his bag from his shoulder onto the table as he looked at the rows again, his eyes immediately discerning the funny stickers at the back of your computer.

“It won’t hurt anyone if I just check where he is,” you thought, but it was probably the worst idea you’ve ever had because your eyes met his dark, chocolate ones, his eyebrows lifting in relief when he recognised other familiar faces in your row.

“Y/N, you’re drooling, be careful,” your friend Chanhee whispered in your ear, teasing as you looked away from Hyunjae and wiped your mouth as quickly as possible, warmth flooding your veins as you keep your finger pressed on the power button of your computer. Your best friend laughed at your antics, but you turned a blind eye to him and mentally cursed yourself for not being as wary as you thought you were.

“Idiot, how could you be discreet if you made direct eye contact with him?” You shook your head at this thought and took a deep breath, inwardly praying that he would sit far from you as you mindlessly scrolled down through your notes.

“Hyunjae, over here!” Sunwoo stood up and raised his deep voice over all the hubbub of the auditorium, pointing at the empty spot between you and Chanhee. It was reserved for Eric who was running late, but you noticed the vacant seat next to Sunwoo and whined. You swore that the rest of the row was packed when you arrived, but it looked like a spot magically freed itself when Hyunjae appeared. It was as if your friends had planned this behind your back.

“Can I sit here?” A gentle, deep voice said, and you looked up. Much to your dismay, it was Hyunjae. “Uh, s-sure,” you stumbled on your sentence as if it were your first time speaking, closing your eyes and inner face palmed yourself at the mess you had just become in a matter of seconds.

You gathered your belongings and held them against your chest as you stood up and sat next to Chanhee, giving your crush your now empty spot. Placing your bag on the floor, you turned your head to the right and stared at your friends, only to find them laughing and bickering together. Changmin was imitating your bashful answer, and Sunwoo’s smug grin painted on his face as he cheekily winked at you, everything confirming your doubts that this situation was one of their playful plans. You sighed in exasperation and typed the title of your notes on a new document as if the entire situation weren’t bothering you.

“Thanks,” Hyunjae said as he sat down, and your heart skipped a beat when you heard his gorgeous voice that caused the hairs on your arms to stand up. His smile made him ten times more attractive, and your heart seemed to struggle to cope with his beauty.

You tried your best to ignore your crush’s presence on your left as you typed down your notes at high speed, but it was harder than you thought. He was close, too close for you to function properly and pay attention to the lecture, his presence and cologne distracting you. There were times where you could feel his gaze on you when you were typing or taking a sip of water, your hands immediately tensing and jolting under the pressure of his aura.

As the lecture finally finished, you quickly packed up your stuff and zipped your backpack before putting it on your shoulders. You didn’t even bother saying goodbye to your friends as you stood in your seat and jumped on the table of the higher row behind you to escape your group. Kevin tried to hail you by calling your name, but you were quick to pace towards the exit and vanish into the mass of the crowd.

You almost reached the library, your safe area where you always sought comfort and peace when a hand gently caught your wrist, your eyes immediately drawn to the familiar lavender knitted sleeve. You breathed heavily at the warmth of the slender hand, and you turned around to face none other than your crush.

“Gosh, you were walking so fast,” he chuckled as he finally got you, his hold still wrapped around your wrist blasting electricity through your veins. The contact felt pleasant, yet it felt so wrong to be this close to him. “I wanted to ask you something before the lecture ended, but you disappeared,” Hyunjae smiled as his cheeks became the prettiest shade of pink you had ever seen. You shyly smiled, muttering a soft apology, and you frowned, not letting him time to say another word.

He opened his mouth to say something when you drew him behind one of the colossal pillars holding up the second floor as you saw Chanhee’s bleached hair peeking out from an opened auditorium door, spying on you two. Hyunjae looked confused but let you drag him anyway.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” You tried to look unbothered, but your fidgeting hands betrayed you, making your crush smile. “Hum yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me today?” he asked, looking straight into your eyes, a big, bashful smile decorating his face. "I know a good café not too far from college, so I was wondering if-” “S-sure, why not?” you blurted out, and you heard muffled laughs coming from behind Hyunjae.

You both peeked out and noticed your friends piled up on top of each other, trying to listen to the conversation you were having with your crush. You sighed and shook your head in annoyance, tired of the lack of privacy your love life was experiencing every day because of them, Eric laughing even louder for getting caught eavesdropping like that.

A hand landed on your shoulder, and you felt a breath near your ear, making your heart skip a few beats in a row.

“Let’s go before they follow us, okay?” you glanced at Hyunjae, and he looked at you with something in his eyes that made your chest tighten, making the process of breathing troublesome. He grinned at your state and innocently grabbed your clammy hand as you two sped off towards the exit and ran past your friends into the mob.

As you slowed down in the streets, trying to look as civil as possible, you readjusted your backpack strap and caught your breath while laughing, Hyunjae smiling as brightly as you did. He found your laugh so pretty and light-hearted, he felt internally lucky to be part of the reason for it. You went down to the end of the street, still walking close to him, and he paused in front of a takeaway place. Holding the door for you, you shyly thanked him and entered the restaurant, the smell of Chinese food making your stomach grumble in hunger.

“Choose whatever you want, it’s on me,” you turned around and immediately backed up a bit, startled by the proximity of you two. Hyunjae only smiled, and you turned your attention back to the food. “Really?” you asked, and he snickered at your shocked state, nodding with a soft smile on his face. "Gosh, I am so hungry,” you muttered under your breath as your eyes roamed on the menu above your heads, heavily breathing as you were still trying to catch your breath back from the sprint you had just run to escape from your foolish friends.

Relief rushed through your veins when he took the reins and ordered for the two of you, your mouth uttering thank-yous like a mantra, only to have your crush waving it off.

“Y/N, it’s okay, don’t worry about it!” he said, and you stopped to look at him, Hyunjae beaming at you while grabbing the paper bag with your steamy food at the bottom. You quickly seized some napkins and disposable utensils and walked back to Hyunjae, who was already outside, waiting for you. “So, where are we going now?” he said, and you shrugged, looking around you, not knowing anything only outside from the library. “I know a good place, it’s not far from here,” you vaguely pointed to your right, and Hyunjae immediately started walking. “Let’s go before the food gets cold!” he exclaimed and let you take the lead.

It was a small park hidden a few streets away from your university, meeting other students since there was another park inside the campus. Bowing down to pat the grass a few meters away from the artificial pond, you sat down as it was dry, but Hyunjae handed you the food and took out his folded waterproof jacket from his bag. Placing it on the ground, he gestured you to come and sit with him.

“Here, come sit with me, you’ll be more comfortable,” he said, and you obeyed, your knees touching as you set the paper bag down next to you and handed him his food and drink. Your proximity didn’t leave you indifferent, but you tried your best to hide it as much as possible.

Hyunjae noticed your little change of behaviour and found you adorable when you looked away at each of his compliments. Your arms were now touching since his jacket underneath you wasn’t a picnic tablecloth, and you were slowly getting used to his body warmth surrounding you.

As the lunch break went by, you talked about your respective majors, and you joked about the shared lecture of this morning, getting closer and closer to each other. He was kind-hearted and became more comfortable when you were alone, gently nudging you in the elbow when you were about to lift your chopsticks to your mouth, the noodles falling back into your bowl. Wiping your mouth with a napkin, you were quick to nudge him back and laugh, still careful not to stain any of his clothes.

“You… look really nice today. I like those colours on you,” you complimented him, and he smiled at your hesitant voice, taking a sip of soda before answering. “Thank you Y/N, I appreciate it,” you nodded and started chewing on your bottom lip, eyes divagating towards the pond surrounded by plants and flowers. “You look really pretty as well,” he whispered in your ear, and you froze at his words, your heart skipping a beat as he had seized the opportunity of you letting your guard down as you were paying attention to the pond. You offered him a soft smile and took a sip of your drink as well to try and calm your racing heart.

He kept playing with it since he was having fun by making you embarrassed and shy with his compliments and proximity. Hyunjae knew that it was working despite your never-ending tries of hiding it, and he felt proud to have this effect on you. Although it was hard for him to see you chew on your lip like that, he had to force himself not to cup your face and tell you to stop, because he was really tempted to do so. However, when you started scratching your lip with your fingers, that’s when he grabbed your pitiless hand and held it in his.

“Hey, don’t do that,” he said and grabbed a napkin to dab the blood coming out of the little cuts on your bottom lip you had caused out of nervosity.

You guiltily avoided his eyes and searched for your lip balm in your bag before quickly applying some. The temptation of starting again was real when your hand was still cradled in his, your crush not giving a single sign of him being ready to let go of it. Alternatively, he rubbed his thumb over your knuckles as you both observed the pond and the people chilling around you.

Much to your dismay, your little romantic moment was interrupted by the church clock striking thirteen times, announcing 1 PM. You both didn’t pay attention at first, but it was when you couldn’t see a single student around you that you realised something.

“Oh god, Statistics! We have statistics in less than fifteen minutes,” you hurriedly said as you jumped on your feet, placing all your trash in the paper bag. “Oh shit!” Hyunjae imitated you and grabbed the bag from you, jogging to the trash can on the other side of the pond while you grabbed your belongings and quickly folded his jacket. He thanked you, and you left in a rush, under the confused eyes of your neighbours.

Even if it wasn’t too far from your college, you still jumped in the bus that was about to drive off from the stop right outside the park, the doors closing right behind Hyunjae. You sighed in relief as you both made it, and you tightly grabbed the metallic bar as the bus sped uphill.

“I’m glad this bus was here, I don’t think I could’ve walked back up there after our lunch,” you smiled at his words, his hand holding the bar above your heads, his lavender sweater going high enough for you to see his black Gucci belt keeping his turtleneck tucked in his pants. “I don’t know who had this marvellous idea of building the university on top of a hill,” you sarcastically mumbled and pressed the button next to your head as the screen announced the stop.

Hyunjae was the first to jump off the vehicle, grabbing your hand as you were quick to imitate him, the mass of students behind you forcing you out. Your crush followed you like a lost puppy through the different staircases and corridors, your great sense of orientation leading you quickly to the auditorium you were almost late to. You were out of breath when you finally arrived there, right before the clock struck 1:15 PM.

Surprisingly, the rows were practically empty, but you instantly spotted your friends in the middle, some of them still eating while the others were laughing or reading together. Hyunjae grabbed your hand for the nth time today, slowly getting used to this new feeling, and you dragged him towards them, but he resisted.

You looked at him, his eyes scanned the auditorium just like he did this morning and looked back at you with a smile before gesturing over a good spot, a bit higher and further away from your friends. Changmin, with his eagle eye, was quick to notice Hyunjae's lavender sweater and warned your friends, all turning around to observe you and your crush sitting together. Chanhee gasped as he quickly saw you holding hands, gossiping about it to his hyungs. Juyeon just shrugged, unbothered by the situation as he cracked his fingers and neck, getting ready to type.

You noticed your friends smirking at you and hid your head behind your computer screen, Eric leaning back in the vacant seats just enough for him to appear in the corner of your eye, his mouth transforming into a pout to mimic a kiss. You rolled your eyes and groaned, offering him a disapproving look, your antics sending him in a fit of giggles.

Hyunjae smiled at you before looking at your friends, who cooed and loudly gagged when he grabbed your hand and lifted it for them to see. You didn’t know what to do with yourself, embarrassment taking over your body as your friends cheered, drawing attention towards you and your crush, the latter replacing your linked hands on his lap, under the table.

“Why would you do that?” you dared to ask, and you shouldn’t have, your voice breaking mid-sentence made your crush giggle. “Let them be, they’re just happy that their best friend is getting out of their comfort zone. Plus, you look cute when you are flustered,” he said, and the professor started talking, preventing you from answering him.

He just sat there with a satisfied smile on your face, while you were trying not to pass out here and there with your heart beating this fast.

[luescris]

YEAH YEAH THANK YOU GABBIE THIS IS ALWAYS SO VERY FUN okay okay so *rubs hands together*

Three Ships:

Okay so definitely one hundred percent Sonamy always and forever, Apritello/Ramona, and uhhhhhhh. That might be it LMAO 😂

First Ship:

Again Sonamy like. The main reason why I started shipping them in the first place was because of that one rose scene in Sonic X that literally meant so much and Sonic didn't even have to like. Say any words, his actions were enough, and that's what really got to me man like. Ahshsbshs There needs to be an analysis on that alone but Sonamy has always been a special thing for me like waughsgdh

Last Song:

Siren by Kaliee Morgue

Not really the type of music that I'd willingly listen to/have in my playlist but like. I needed something different to listen to while doing dinner dishes last night and that was in the playlist and I didn't feel like skipping it so yuh HDHDHDH 😂

Favorite Color:

BLUE!!! BLUE BLUE BLUE ALL THE WAY!!! Everything in my life is blue like I kid you not, and mix that with gold??

Augh what a vibe/pos

Currently Watching:

I wouldn't really say that I'm watching much of anything these days tv shows wise (though I do have a lost I should probably get started on at some point ahdgsgsh 😅) but I do plan to watch some ghost hunting videos later today!! :D Once I'm done playing Frontiers anyway lmao 😂😂

Last Movie:

Um. Well hm. I'm not sure. I don't know if I've watched any movies recently? I think it might've been Mutant Mayhem I think but that's like. The last thing I remember watching lmao 😂😅 Oh well HFHDHHD

Currently Reading:

Again not really reading anything either unless you count fanfics, but I do wanna get my hands on the Wingfeather Saga at some point!! :D As well as the Eragon series because that was my childhood and inspiration ahsgshshh 😆

Sweet/savory/Spicy:

Man sweet all the way. Like maybe sometimes savory but like I will always want something like candy or sugary or something like that hehehhehe Nerd Gummies are my current favorite sweets aside from chocolate LMAO 😂

Currently Consuming:

Lunch!!! I just had an orange and may look for something else to eat after writing this post but yee!! :3

Currently Craving:

Nerd Gummies all the time 😔😔/lh They're so good and addicting and I want some so bad every time wiagsushsg

Relationship Status:

Single and plan to be for at least a little while longer because I have a Lot of Emotional Baggage I need to work through (even though I want a significant other so very badly 😔) but if one happens to come along, then, so be it!! I'm just gonna go with the flow and hope it sticks LMAO 😂😅

Last Web Search:

Agdgshsg "ninja armor". Tried to find some inspo for a costume I have to wear to this volunteering thing at work today but I don't even know if Imma be able to pull it off so. Oh well HDGDHDH

Currently Working On:

Um. Uh. Does. Playing Sonic Frontiers count? 😅 Idk man I might have lost any and all will to create I haven't written/drawn anything big or real in like. A while. Hahshdg

Anywho thank you so much for the tag!!! :D This is always so very fun and if anyone else wants to do this go on ahead!! And if the people that I tag don't wanna do it, that's perfectly okay with me too LMAO 😂

@systemsentry @via-rant @molinaskies @leaflinglouie29 and uh. Yee anyone else go ahead!!!!

People you'd like to get to know better

Thank you @memoonlemon for the tag!! Been wanting to do one of these!! ♥

Three ships: AtaLum (Urusei Yatsura), ShinRan (Detective Conan) and the last one is hard to choose since there's so many but let's just say Rankane (Ranma 1/2).

First ship: I think my first ship was from Pokemon, being Amourshipping. I was obsessed with it a long time ago. I'm not sure if I still ship it but it's probably because I've lost interest in the Pokemon anime... 😅

Last song: Ah, I was listening to the entire 'MAISONdes: Complete Collection' on Spotify last night and I think I stopped at the song, 'Dance, Dance, Dada' (Banger of a song, BTW):

Favorite color: Any shades of red or pink!! I like blues, greens, yellow and oranges as well!!

Currently watching: Nothing, lol. But I'm planning to start watching 'The Apothecary Diaries' which drops today and I need to catch up with 'Spy X Family' and start 'After school Hanako-kun'.

Last Movie: I don't really watch that many movies so I can't remember the last one I've watched, um, does the first episode of 'Oshi no Ko' count (it's technically movie length)?

Currently reading: I've started 'Ghost Sweeper Mikami' last night. I've read 5 chapters and so far it's really funny, also I loveeee Shiina's artstyle, it's super cute!!

Sweet/savory/spicy: All of them actually! But I don't like foods that are way too spicy or way too sweet!!

Currently consuming: Peppermint ice tea!! :D We have a box filled with various flavored tea bags (Raspberry, Lemon, Peach, Mint, Thyme, etc.) and since summer I've been making ice tea with them and even now. I like the peppermint, peach, vanilla and strawberry flavors the most!!

Currently craving: I want to eat Lasagna so badly, it's been so long!!

Relationship status: Single.

Last web search: 'Lum Urusei Yatsura', since I wanted to search the ラム tag but I don't have a Japanese keyboard (and I'm too lazy to change the settings) so I just looked it up.

Currently working on: Some art ideas, cleaning up my phone's storage space because it's been warning me for over a week now and I need to finish an analysis in my drafts. Hopefully, I can finish them all...

Tagging: @chayasuu , @danaty-consolation , @livmadart , @misteria247 or anyone who wants to do this as well!! 🌟

[hyuckssunchip]

Here’s The Deal

Pairings: Mark x Reader, ft. 00′ line (Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin)

Words: 5.9K

Warnings: Language (there is almost always language in my writings), slight smut, angst

Summary: 

Y/N gets caught in a tight situation as she discovers that her relationship was a lie. Mark knows just how much she really means to him, but how can he prove it after what he’s done? How much was real?

“Hi Y/N!”

“Oh hey Mark,” you say as you slide into your seat and rest your forehead on your desk. You let out a deep sigh. 

“What’s up?” He asked laying his own head down to face yours.

You let out another exaggerated sigh, “Nothing. I just didn’t get much sleep last night. I was up all night working on my writing assignment for philosophy.”

“Oh… Well maybe you and I can go to that one cafe to get coffee together. Maybe lunch?” Mark offered quietly.

“Huh?”

“You know, after class so you can wake up.” He said, quieter and less sure of himself.

“Oh… Well, I actually don’t like coffee. But thanks for the offer anyways.” You said, lifting your head up slightly, just enough to give him a weak smile.

Mark looked at you, furrowing his eyebrows and biting his lip. He gives you a slight nod before leaning back in his chair. He then turned his head to the right shaking his head at his friends that sat adjacent to him.

THE NEXT DAY

“Just ask her!”

“Shhh! Don’t talk so loud!”

“Grow some balls man!”

“Guys can you just shut up?! This is not helping. Telling me to man up is not going to get her to say yes.”

“Well maybe, stop beating around the bush and straight up ask her!”

“Would you two shut up? You are not the one who has to---”

“Oh hey guys. What are you still doing here? Class ended like half an hour ago?” You say, accidentally interrupting their conversation.

“Uh.. We’re uh… just discussing our project for uh… drama? Yeah. Drama.” Mark’s friend Jaemin answered. 

“Drama? Why the hell would we be in drama?” Renjun hissed at Jaemin. After a couple seconds of painful silence Jeno nudged Mark forward. 

“Uhh.. yeah. What are you doing here?” He asked stumbling towards you a bit.

“Oh… I just left my notebook here.” You said pointing towards the blue spiral notebook on one of the desks. “I’ll just grab it real quick and let you guys get back to your… discussing.” You said, giggling a little at the thought of them doing drama. 

“Mark! Do it now!” Haechan whispered to Mark pushing him into you. As you struggled to keep your balance from the new weight of Mark, he wrapped his arms around yours to stabilize the both of you. 

“Oh, sorry.” he said, quickly shoving himself away from you as if you burned him.

“Actually we’re done discussing our project, right Jaemin?” Jeno said, looking sharply at his younger friend, who nodding vigorously at you. Before you knew it they were gone and you were left alone with Mark.

“Hey, maybe… do you want to… watch that new movie that came out? Crazy Rich Asians?” Mark suddenly asked out of the blue.

“Oh! Yeah I heard that was going to be really good. I’d love to go! My roommate really wants to see that, I’ll ask when she’s free.” You reply excitedly.

Mark let out a sigh of exasperation before grabbing your shoulders and forcing you to face him. “Are you totally oblivious or just trying to let me down easy?” He asked staring into your eyes. For some odd reason you couldn’t seem to look away and suddenly your heart skipped a beat. 

TWO WEEKS LATER

You and Mark had been dating for a month, ever since he confronted you and made you realize your feelings for him. 

For the short amount of time that the two of you had actually been dating, you two were really close. You had gotten physical pretty quickly, although you didn’t mind it too much. Mark was something else, he made you feel things you had never felt before and it had become almost addicting.

However, despite this the two of you haven’t slept together yet, after all it was only a few weeks of dating, way too soon for you. On multiple occasions you had gotten close but were interrupted, you were secretly thankful that the two of you couldn’t go further.

Your relationship wasn’t about the physical, Mark made you happier than you thought was possible. His constant laughing and goofy smile always had you thankful to have him around. He really did brighten your day.

Mark was sweet and thoughtful, always coming up with spontaneous dates for the two of you and kind gestures that made your heart skip.

You’ve never been in love before, but maybe, just maybe you were on the right track this time.

It was Saturday, and for once you had panned a surprise for your boyfriend. A picnic date. You climbed the few flights of stairs that led to his dorm, which he shared with Haechan and Renjun, two of his friends that you were acquainted with. Nothing more than a couple of interactions, but you’ve never run into them at their dorm, save for the time they caught you and Mark in a compromising position.

Just as you were about to knock on his door, you heard voices behind the door. You knew that you shouldn’t eavesdrop, but you couldn’t help but lean in. 

With your ear pressed against the door, you could clearly distinct between each of their voices.

“I don’t know. I’m so close it's just frustrating!” Clearly Mark.

“Why don't you just go for it? Why are you dancing around?” Jeno?

“I don't want to make her do anything that she doesn't want to. Especially if she’s not ready.” Your heart swelled at Mark’s response.

“What do you mean? Why do you care?” You frowned at Haechan’s response, why wouldn’t he care?

“Ha! Don't tell me you’re actually starting to like her?” You froze.

Her? Is there someone else? Is he talking about me?

There was a pregnant pause.

“Dude?!”

“... guys… stop.”

“She’s a fucking bet! Just finish it quickly, you’re so close. If you don’t we’re all fucked! You know that!” You felt like throwing up. A bet?

“Mark! Tae Oh will kill us if you don’t finish this! Please!” Finish this? Am I a game?

“I know! You don’t think I know that?! You think I want this?!”

With your ear still pressed firmly against the door, you let out a muffled cry.

“Fuck!”

As he yelled, you flinched and backed yourself away from the door.

You let out a silent sob and rushed back to your dorm room, leaving spilled contents of your picnic along the way. As you pushed your way into your dorm, thankful that both of your roommates happened to be gone, you threw yourself on your bed. 

Your emotions were all over the place, you were sobbing, upset that you weren’t enough for him, upset that you were a bet, upset that he had made a fool of you. But like a flip of the switch you became pissed. He played with you, with your feelings as if you were nothing. Nothing he said or did was real, your whole relationship was a lie.

You wiped your eyes dry and wrung your hands, pausing when you felt the promise ring Mark had given you just recently for your one month anniversary. More angry than you had ever been you ripped your ring off your finger and chucked it across the room hitting the door. It bounced off and landed under your desk, but you didn’t care enough to pay attention.

Just as you were cooling off you got a goodnight text from Mark. On any other day you would be swooning at the cute text, but today you were not having it. You ignored his texts and ended up falling asleep before your roommates ever made it back.

The next morning you woke up to your alarm blaring, looking at the clock you realized you hit snooze one too many times and rushed to the door. You made to class with little time to spare and even before the professor made it. You scanned the room for a seat, and found a few. There was one next to Mark, saved for you as usual but you stopped yourself, opting to sit next to Jisung. You smiled awkwardly at him as you sunk into the seat. You felt your phone buzz again and ignored the text as soon as you saw Mark’s name on your screen. You sigh and ignore the text, pulling out your notebook and start doodling.

Mark frowned to himself a couple of rows behind you. He couldn’t focus the entire class and couldn’t help but stare at you confused. Before he knew it the class was over and you were rushing past him, not even sparing a glance. Before he could gather his things you were gone.

To be honest, it was a lot of work avoiding Mark. It’s like he had it on his agenda to track you, normally you would absolutely love it, but as of right now that was the last thing you wanted.

At some point you were out of energy and could no longer continue the chase.

“Can we talk?” Mark asked, nervously wringing his hands together. 

You sighed, thinking that there wasn’t really much else you could do. Stopping in your tracks you plopped down on the empty bench you were close to passing. You tried to hold back a scoff, sure that he was worried about losing his bet. It took everything in you not to throw that in his face and stalk off.

You heard Mark let out a relieved sigh, collapsing into the spot next to you, but consciously leaving a respectable gap between the two of you.

For a moment the two of you sat in silence, neither wanted to get to the discussion at hand.

“What happened?” There was a quiver in his voice and you cursed your heart for wavering at the sound. No matter how upset you were, you still liked him and could’t help but feel guilty at suddenly ghosting the desperate boy.

You glanced at his side profile and admired him. He was leaning over his knees, staring intensely at his shoes. 

For the first time since you overheard his conversation you thought about his position. 

Why did he even do the bet in the first place? Mark was a nice guy, at least that’s what you had always thought. And why was Tae Oh threatening them? 

You recalled what you had heard. Jeno had said that Tae Oh would kill them if Mark couldn’t finish the bet. Did that mean he was in trouble?

With one last glance at the forlorn boy next to you, you had decided. It was a stupid idea, and it would only hurt you, but for some reason you couldn’t stand the thought of Mark suffering. To the point where you would put him before you.

“Nothing happened.” You mumbled out, your internal conflict starting to give you a headache.

His eyes searched for yours, “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not.” You gulped, refusing to meet his eyes.

“I swear you just ran the other direction, and it took me so long to get you to talk to me. If I did something wrong we can talk about it, otherwise we can’t fix it.” He pulled your hand into his hesitantly, rubbing softly over the skin, sending warmth through your body. You didn’t miss the frown on his face when he noticed your ring wasn’t on the usual finger.

You pulled your hand out of his, wiping your palms on your jeans and fumbling with your fingers. 

“I promise you nothing is wrong, I’m just stressed about school. You know cause finals are coming up.” You hoped he would fall for it, after all he knew how you were during testing periods.

“Right.” His eyes shook, “How about we have a small date night, that’ll make you feel better, right?” 

You nodded at nothing in particular, eyes now trained on the bird that was digging for dinner in front of you.

“I’ll pick you up at seven then? We can get take out a watch a movie.” He asked, nodding to himself.

“Uh, I’ll just go to your dorm, I have stuff to do anyways, it’s on the way.” You rejected his offer, not thinking you would be able to pretend for a whole car ride.

“Right.”

You stood up abruptly, not able to take the tension any longer. “I’ll see you tonight then.” 

Then as fast as you could you escaped.

You had spent the last few hours thinking about what the bet could possibly be. Tae Oh was one of Mark’s seniors, you often saw them in the same group, but he was notorious for be an ass. There was nothing more to say about that. Tae Oh was an ass and you didn’t doubt for a moment that he was capable of making Mark’s life hell.

Groaning, you ran your hands over your face. Why did you have to care? 

You racked your brain for any clues. The other day you had heard Mark saying that he didn’t want to push you. Push you into what? 

Tae Oh would’ve only had two things in mind when making the bet, break your heart or sleep with you. You frowned, Tae Oh didn’t know you that well, why would he want to break your heart, and as a horny college student it made more sense for him to want Mark to sleep with you.

Your eyes widened in realization. That’s why they said he was so close. Mark and you had gotten intimate, but never actually did anything. He must have told them that and that’s what they meant by getting close.

You chewed on your bottom lip. Could you do that for him? Honestly, before this whole situation you would’ve been more than willing to sleep with him on your own accord, god knows you were close. But you were starting to feel uncomfortable with the thought after knowing his intentions.

“Y/N?” You jolted up straight, “What are you doing? How long have you been there?”

Mark rubbed the back of his neck, tilting his head in confusion.

“Oh, not long, I was just about to knock.” Your face heated up in embarrassment.

“Oh hey Y/N.” You made eye contact with Renjun who was sitting on the couch with a book, feet in the position of kicking a very focused Haechan. 

“Stop it. You’re going to make me die.” Haechan retaliated with a quick shove, “Hey Y/N.”

Though he didn’t look at you, you still smiled at the interaction.

“Let me kick them out, I told them you’d be over around seven.” He laughed quietly at the scene.

“Renjun, you asshole! I died!” The bright flash on the TV screen was proof and Haechan didn’t look like he was going to let it go.

“Guys! Y/N’s here, I told you she was coming.” The other two froze, staring at Mark like they were having a silent conversation before Renjun slammed his book shut.

“Right. Haechan, there’s that new place down the street that has great tacos, let’s go.” He nudged the pouting counterpart aggressively.

“But my game-” 

“Haechan.” Renjun raised his eye brows while staring down Haechan, no doubt a sign that it was a chance for Mark to complete the bet.

“Oh. Yeah... I like tacos.” He stood up giving you a short salute. “Bye Y/N.” 

He couldn’t help but send a wink in your direction, making you wince in reminder of your situation.

Before you knew it, it was once again just you and Mark.

“So I already ordered, do you want to choose a movie?” Mark made his way to the now unoccupied couch.

“Sure.” You shuffled behind him, mind not really thinking about the movie.

As you fell into the cushion of the couch, Mark slid close to you, eliminating any space that might’ve been between you two.

He pulled you into his arms, gripping you tightly as if he was worried that you would slip away.

“Let’s just stay here for a moment, we can choose a movie when the food gets here.” He mumbled into your neck, eliciting an automatic sigh in response.

“You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you on purpose right?” You tensed at his confession, obviously referring to the bet.

“Hmmm.” There was nothing that you could do but hum in response.

Mark began to pepper soft kisses along your neck, leaving a little trail of love bites. You unconsciously opened your neck, giving him more access.

His kisses got deeper, leaving what you know would be dark spots, proof of possession. Soon he reached your mouth, pulling you in. He nipped at your bottom lip, asking for access, to which you gave him without hesitation.

Your hands moved to tangle in his hair, gripping softly and tugging him closer. He groaned into your mouth in response, and you could feel the tips of his mouth curve into a smile.

His hands which were once rubbing your waist, gripped you tightly, pulling you onto his lap where you were forced to straddle him. 

For just a moment he was forced to pull away, looking up at you with smiling eyes, searching for the same in your own.

You couldn’t do anything but crash against his lips, leaning your body into his. There was nothing but the thin layers of your shirts, the rapid beating of his heart easily felt, and you knew that he could feel yours as well.

One hand reached up for your neck, a way for him to lock your head in place, digging deeper. The other hand meandered its way to your thigh, massaging your inner thigh, causing you to grind yourself on his lap, getting growl from him underneath you. 

You felt a change in him, his grip became more needy, you were sure there would be marks in the morning. 

You pulled back for air, startled at the sound of someone at the door.

“Delivery!” Mark sighed, shaking his head for you to ignore it, as he leaned back in to resume.

“Mark, the food’s here.” You mumbled, keeping the distance between you.

“Forget the food, we’ll just order again.” You kept a hand on his chest, preventing him from starting again.

“Mark.” 

“Ugh, fine.” You wiggled off his lap and collapsed in the seat you were originally in. Your eyes followed his back as he opened the door, paying for the food and holding the bag in his tight grip. He was especially tart with the man, in an obvious hurry.

Once the door was shut again he slid the food on the coffee table, and crawled on the couch towards you, having every intention of picking up where you left off.

“Mark, the food’s going to get cold.” You giggled at the sounds he made in protest.

He leaned against the back of the couch, throwing his head back in frustration.

“Fine, we’ll eat first.” He cocked his head at you slightly, choosing to ignore the feeling arising in the pit of his stomach.

You stuck your fork in the first container, popping it into your mouth before chewing thoughtfully.

“Mark...” you sighed, “I actually have something to talk to you about.”

You felt the knot in your stomach dissipate, knowing that confronting him would ease your mind. The plan of going through with it tonight didn’t sit right with you, and you knew it would bother you if you didn’t say something.

“Shoot.” He nodded, chowing down himself.

You let out a deep sigh, instantly catching his attention, and put down your fork.

His brows furrowed as he too set his down, a feeling that things were about to become serious.

“I uh...” you cleared your throat. “I actually know about the bet.”

He clearly stiffened and eyes widened at your admission.

“I can explain!” He rushed out, interrupting you in hopes of stopping whatever you were planning on saying.

“Okay.” You said, shocking him with how calm you were.

“Huh?” 

“Go ahead, explain it to me.” Although you knew the gist of what was going on, you were actually curious to know how he got roped into something like this.

“Uh... how much do you know?” He cut himself off. “Actually I’ll just tell you everything.”

He reached for the cup of water in front of him, quickly downing it in hopes of drowning his nerves as well.

“Do you know who Tae Oh is? I swear it wasn’t a bet between my friends, they would never do that.” He gulped, watching your blank expression. “I think you’ve met him before, he’s not a great guy.”

There was an obvious shudder from him. “About a month ago he made a bet that I couldn’t get with a girl, and I honestly didn’t care what he thought. But... he has some stuff over Jeno’s head, and he promised that if I succeeded he would let it go.”

You pursed your lips at the mention of Jeno. 

“I... I know I told you I’d tell you everything, but I’m not sure it’s right to tell you about Jeno. I can ask him to talk to you, but I can’t tell you.” He bit his lip anxiously, praying that you would understand.

You nodded, admiring his loyalty, despite his current situation. You gestured for him to continue.

“It’s not like I chose you, I would never purposely hurt you or do that to you. I... I honestly liked you a lot before he even suggested the bet.” He gave you a bashful look, a sudden switch from his nerve wracking expression.

“Tae Oh chose you, I think he did it because he knew that I liked you. I mean back then I wasn’t exactly subtle about it.” A nervous chuckle escaped his lips. “I totally understand if you absolutely hate me now, I mean I would too.”

You looked at his dejected form, “I don’t hate you. If I did I would’ve broke up with you the moment that I found out.”

He looked at you with a confused expression, “Why didn’t you break up with me?” There was a hint of hope in his voice. He wondered if it was possible for you still to like him after what he had done, or was supposed to do.

It would’ve hurt your pride to admit you still liked him despite his actions, so you chose to go with the pity card. “I overheard you talking in your dorm, and someone mentioned that Tae Oh would kill you if you couldn’t finish. I know Tae Oh could really make your life miserable, and I didn’t want to be responsible for that.”

Mark visibly saddened at the idea that you didn’t like him, that you didn’t want to feel guilty about the aftermath.

“Here’s the deal,” you let out, finally coming to a conclusion, “I can’t sleep with you. I don’t feel comfortable with that anymore.”

Mark winced, feeling a tight lump grow in his throat at the thought of you not able to stand him, and the thought that he makes you uncomfortable.

“I don’t want Tae Oh to win though, for both your sake and Jeno’s.” He made eye contact, clear that he was shocked.

“I don’t know what the rules are, or what proof you have to have, but I’ll help you with that. But that’s all I can do.”

Mark didn’t look thrilled at the idea, if anything he looked dejected. However grateful he was that you were willing to do this to help him, he couldn’t help but wish you didn’t pity him. If it weren’t for Jeno he would’ve rather taken punishment from Tae Oh, after all that’s what he deserved.

“Mark, you have no idea what this means to me. Thank you so much.” Jeno grinned at him, wrapping him in a suffocating hug, making Mark feel worse.

“Right, it’s not like I couldn’t do it for you.” It was monotone, he was unable to show his real feelings about the situation.

“So how’s Y/N?” Jaemin asked, watching the interaction.

“What do you mean?” Mark furrowed his brows and directed his attention at the other boy.

“Well, you guys can still date, she doesn’t have to know it was a bet.” He shrugged as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. Oh how badly Mark wanted that statement to be true.

“No.”

“No? What do you mean?” It was Jaemin’s turn to be confused.

“We broke up.” Mark avoided eye contact with anyone else, staring up at the sky and squinting in the bright light.

“Why? Did you tell her?” Haechan asked, “I didn’t think you had it in you to do that right after the bet was over.” He frowned to himself. “Don’t you think that was too harsh?”

Renjun elbowed Haechan in the side, shutting him up. As one of the more attentive of the group, he could see the way that Mark was acting in response.

“What could I do?” Mark shrugged, trying so hard not to let his voice crack and play it off like he didn’t care. If only they knew that it was the other way around. But he took Haechan’s blows, after all he deserved it, he was the cause of it anyways.

“Y/N! Hey!” You heard Jeno’s footsteps sidle up beside you, the faint breathing evidence that he had jogged to you.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, suddenly embarrassed to thank you.

“Um, thanks. I just want to let you know that it wasn’t like it seemed, Mark was just trying to help me. He’s not a bad guy, I know he probably seemed harsh, but he really didn’t want to do it.” 

He gulped, and peered over at your face, more than shocked at the fact that it was expressionless. Too similar to the one they had gotten used to seeing on Mark.

“I know.” You hiked your bag up higher on you bag, gripping tightly on the straps for support.

“Mark really likes you. For real. He’s been really upset, beating himself up for it you know. He won’t admit to it, but we all can see it.”

You squinted your eyes closed, trying to ignore the underlying meaning of Jeno’s words.

“He wouldn’t ever just use you like that. You know him.”

You had enough.

“Do I? Because this was a far cry from the Mark that I knew, or at least I thought I knew.” You sent one last look before escaping out the doorway, leaving Jeno behind with a hurt look.

Jeno never wanted to hurt either of you, but it was a consequence of his stupid decisions. And now other people had to pay for his mistakes.

“Y/N.” You stopped in your tracks, it seemed that no matter where you went you couldn’t get away from them.

“Renjun.” You replied curtly, having nothing else to say to him. Beside him was the familiar pair of shoes, one’s you would always recognize.

Mark shyly lifted his hand to greet you, but dropped it as if he realized that he no longer had the right to.

Renjun, ever the observer watched the interaction, taking in the tense air between the two of you.

“Guys I’m telling you something’s not right. I know it was stupid, but Mark is really suffering.” Renjun spilled to the rest of the boys, “We ran into Y/N and he looked so depressed. It was really bad.”

“Well, of course it’s gonna be bad, Mark basically used her.” Haechan let out, never thinking about his words.

“Haechan!” 

“What am I wrong?” He raised his eyebrow in question.

“You don’t have to say it like that.” Jaemin scolded, glancing at Jeno who seemed more stoney than usual.

“He’s right though.” Jeno let out. “It’s my fault, I never should’ve let Mark do it.”

“Jeno, you didn’t know what Tae Oh was going to do.” Jaemin comforted him, to which he was met with empty eyes.

“I ran into Y/N, but she wasn’t having it. I don’t think she’ll ever forgive him.” Jeno dropped his head in his hands.

There was a silence as none of the boys knew how to comfort him.

“What’s going on?” Mark stood in the doorway, watching the scene before him unfold.

“Nothing.” Renjun quickly covered up. 

“Jeno? What’s going on?” Mark ignored Renjun’s excuse and focused on the downtrodden boy.

“I’m sorry.” Jeno’s voice sounded broken, leaving Mark on edge.

“Why?”

“It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have let you do it. I swear I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. I tried to explain everything to Y/N, I’ll try again, I promise.” He pleaded with Mark, hoping that he would forgive him.

“Oh.” Mark stepped back from Jeno, the emotionless tone coming through again.

“Please, I promise I’ll try to fix things.”

“Don’t, it’s fine. There’s nothing to fix anymore.” Jeno hated the look Mark had on his face. “Don’t bother explaining, she already knows everything.”

“What?” Renjun butted in, unable to hold his curiosity.

“She overheard everything. We didn’t actually sleep together, she just let me pretend so we would win the bet.” Mark picked up his bag that he had dropped on the floor earlier. 

“But-” 

“Jeno, it’s fine. Explaining won’t change anything. There’s nothing you can do to change it. Don’t stress yourself out, or blame yourself. I’m just as much at fault, I chose to do it.”

With that Mark, left the same way he came in, no longer feeling like he could stand to be under the scrutiny of the other boys.

“Wait, she knew? And she faked the whole thing for him?” Haechan scratched his head, still processing the bomb Mark dropped on them. “But doesn’t that mean that she still cares about him? Why would she do that for him?”

“Haechan for once you didn’t say something stupid. I agree. I think we should talk to Y/N, chances are if she did that for him, she still cares about him.” Renjun nodded enthusiastically, eager to fix the situation.

“I’ll do it.” Jeno said, gritting his teeth. 

“Jeno.”

“No, I fucked everything up, I need to fix it.” He turned to Jaemin, placing a hand on his shoulder, reassuring him.

“I know what you did.” Jeno blurted out, startling you. 

“What do you mean?”

“I know you and Mark didn’t actually sleep together.” The look on his face slightly scared you, and you weren’t sure whether him knowing was a good thing or not.

“Did he tell you that?” You cocked your head to the side, trying to feel out the situation.

“Yeah, and I know why you did it too.” Jeno leaned down, getting eye level with you. “You still like him don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I did it cause I felt bad. I didn’t want to feel like it was my fault you guys would suffer.” You looked away from him, watching the stream of students exit the library. “And no, how could I like him after that? He used me.”

“You know exactly why though, if you’re going to hate anyone, hate me.” His words more aggressive, a tactic he was using to redirect your anger.

“I don’t hate him,” you mumbled out, “and I don’t hate you.”

“See, you did that because you still care about him.” He prodded, “If you didn’t you would’ve never let him pretend to go through with it.” 

He paused letting that sink in, “For what it’s worth, he still cares very much about you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so depressed.”

You sighed, “I don’t want him to be depressed.”

“Then you should talk to him. I know you guys still have feelings for each other, and honestly it’s hurting you guys more to ignore it.” He raised his eyebrows earnestly, giving you a tempting offer. 

“I know for a fact that if you were willing to take him back, he would beg for forgiveness. Mark loves you Y/N.” The last bit came out soft, but it had the biggest impact.

Your heart ached, yearning for him despite the situation.

“Just talk to him. I know I don’t deserve to ask that of you, but I’m begging you, for Mark’s sake.” You had never seen Jeno this distraught before.

All you could do is nod.

“Y/N?” Mark froze at the sight of you standing on the other side of the door.

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah, com- come on in.” He stuttered, embarrassed at how nervous he was. “Do you want something to drink... or?” 

“No, I’m fine.” You mumbled, staring at your sleeves. “I just wanted to talk about, you know.”

“Right.”

The two of you took the chance to settle into the familiar couch, memories of your relationship coming back to you.

“I don-”

“I know-”

You blushed at the awkward atmosphere.

“You first.” Mark let you continue.

You cleared your throat. “I talked to Jeno.”

He nodded silently, “I told him to stop bothering you, I’ll talk to him again.”

“No, there’s no need.” You let out, “We talked about some things, more specifically things between us.”

Mark gulped, unable to see where you were going with this. 

“I’m probably really stupid for doing this, but I’m obviously attracted to stupid.” You tried to joke, referencing Mark. No matter how much you tried to relieve the tension, it still hovered over you like a think cloud.

He let out a nervous laugh, dying out to let you continue.

“You have no how much I wanted to hate you when I found out. And you have no idea how much I hated myself for not hating you.”

Mark sat up at the insinuation that you didn’t hate him.

“Mark, I still like you a lot. There’s a part of me that hates myself for liking you even after everything, but there’s a larger part of me that tells me that this is more important.” You took a deep breath, struggling to finish your thought.

“I love you.”

You choked back your breath in shock, you weren’t expecting him to confess so bluntly.

“I was stupid and I hate that I did that to you, but I want you do know that I don’t regret helping Jeno, I just should’ve gone about it a different way, one that wouldn’t have any casualties. I would’ve begged on my knees if I had to, but I didn’t feel like I had the right to. Honestly, I figured I would be doing you a favor by leaving you alone.” His nervous tick of picking at his nails made it clear that he was just as nervous as you were.

“I don’t want to praise you for doing something like this, because it was stupid and hurtful, but I’m glad you were able to help Jeno.” You smiled at him, “He’s really thankful, you have know idea how many times he let me know that. He also kept me updated on you, and that definitely didn’t help my feelings go away.”

Mark felt a surge of happiness rise in him, the realization that you still like him, the hope that this wasn’t the end of your relationship, and the gratitude that his prayers were answered.

“Mark, I love you too.”

© Copyright 2021. hyuckssunchip. All rights reserved.

[bonnymori]

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

Word count: 1200+

Contents/Warnings: (1) Fushiguro Megumi x gn!Reader (2) Classic training but no fighting scene I apologise (3) A... dirty humor joke? (4) Idiot in love cough cough (5) Laidback romance, this may become a pattern on my fanfiction :3

A/N: Hello, I introduce myself as Hara! This is my very first written piece! I would like to apologise for any typos, english is not my first language; that being said, I hope this works out alright! :)

It's around mid afternoon, the sky painted in a vibrant blue with multiple clouds scattered around, Fushiguro recalls having started training right after lunch; he politely declined Maki's suggestion of training together, it wasn't about strength or fighting hand to hand today, the struggle was his shikigami. Lately, he's been having problems over teamwork - before, he thought such a thing was impossible, since all of the shikigami were under one will alone, being his. Yet the amount of times the divine dogs have bumped into eachothers, sometimes Nue would simply skip past the target, not paying attention to it at all.

Or perhaps, he himself was to blame. Fushiguro likes thinking about you, more than he'd admit, but now it's starting to distract for real. That's what he need, to think of you- I mean, concentration! And maybe, new group attacks, that would do nicely, too.

He's been beating a tedious dummy for a hour and half now, maybe more. After managing to make up a combo or two, he sits down on the grass, just to breathe for a moment. Breathing is nice, he observes as the divine dogs go slack like their owner, now playing around with one another rather than chewing the dummies stuffing. His black and white snake is watching the banter between the canine shikigamis, tongue coming in and out just like a real snake. Nue settles upon the dummies ragged body, eyes closed- peacefully enjoying sunbathing. Fushiguro had no idea they were so lively until now, now he knew why people constantly asked if they could pet his shikigami.

He glances down at the frog supporting his arm, it's like they enjoy just laying on grass, just breathing like him.

"How many buddies out! Are you training today, Fushiguro?"

At the sound of your voice, you bet his lips casually turn upwars in a casual yet small smile. Kugisaki saw it from distance once, says she it's almost a robotic response.

"Yes, I'm training their cooperation." Fushiguro replies, swiftly getting up. He notices the frog from earlier making a beeline to you, as if to say hello.

So you crouch down and pets it briefly, smiling at the small creature.

"That ought to be hard, specially with a innefective dummy." You approach its remains, chuckling at all the stuffing and cloth scattered around. "Make me your target instead!"

Say what?

"I uh, come again?"

"I'll do the running and dodging, it's much practical this way!"

He has trouble accepting that, even if it's true. You mean more than an ally on his heart, and besides, that's some Itadori-level-recklessy. So he groans, slightly irritated and obviously, worried for your safety. "You'll get hurt."

"Don't we get hurt everyday? Even if there is an accident, I know you'll call them out and help me quickly, you notice things fast."

He does, Fushiguro would help you in a heartbeat- probably faster.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, lash out on me!"

Putting 'lash' and 'me' in the same phrase got heat rising on his ears, but he complied nonetheless. "Just letting you know, I'll stand here and the shikigami attacks."

You protest. "Wouldn't it be better if you fought among them?"

"For today, I'd like to focus on their compatibility only."

"Oh, got it! Next time we can work on the latter option then!" Next time. He wants there to be a next time.

Even though you're the one troubling his mind in battles, he's head over heels. He remembers when it all started, your relationship is basically pools worth of quality time. You came along with Itadori, tangled into the mess back in Sendai. Strangely, Fushiguro clicked with you even faster than Itadori- your collected personality was a great factor, even though you are just as cheerful as the cherry boy.

"You're spacing out, what's up?"

Fushiguro's gaze snapped up to meet yours, realizing his mistake. "Ah, nothing, let's start." His hands folded as your guard rose, so it begun. If you noticed his lame excuse, you didn't comment about it.

The ravenette was pleasantly relieved how easily you could deceive and dodge his attacks, his shikigami may leave a tear or two on your clothes, that he didn't have to worry about, because they're easily fixable. Naturally, the toughest for you to dodge was mostly his snake, sometimes Nue would surprise you from above, nothing you couldn't handle. He started intensing up using the combined attacks, and immediately noticed your faltering steps, earning a bruise on your calf. Although neither he or you stopped, adrenaline rushing through veins nonstop.

You somehow finished training with a bite mark over your forehead, not deep enough to be worth worry. The instant your bodies came to slack, his shikigami ran to you like little children lost in a supermarket. At this point, it was pratically multitasking, to pet both demon dogs while trying not to run out of breath having Orochi wrapped around your midsection. Megumi flushed over the affectionate antics, knowing they were a manifestation of feelings within himself.

Now, you and Fushiguro are spawled on the training field, neither showered, coated with sweat sticking to your clothes, but it didn't matter much.

"I never realized, just how many cursed energy do you have? It's surprising how many shikigami you kept our for this long time." Fushiguro heard you shifting to sit up, and followed you up.

"A bunch." It was not a creative nor informative answer, but you took it in with a smile on your face anyway.

He watched you get up to fetch a drink, careful to not trip over the shikigami also scattered around -- Fushiguro always 'forgot' to put them away next to you.

You handed him a strawberry yogurt box, the same drink also sat in your hands. "Well then, why are you spacing out so much these days? You can be honest with me."

'She's oblivious enough, I'm in need of advice, it's convenient.' So he thought, figuring if he disguised it enough, you wouldn't be able to tell. It's not a big deal if you did, though, saves time actually.

"Something's on my mind, and it troubles me during fights."

"Simple, you can just come in terms with it."

He glanced down, "Why?"

"The sooner the better, when you accept something, it comes at ease on your mind. I'm a hundred percent sure it works!" You gave him a thumbsup, slurping on the pink drink.

"Such faithful source."

"I'm sure it does! The thought keeps coming back because you're denying it, am I wrong?"

Not really, no. Fushiguro wants to keep it as friendship for the sake of your both careers within the jujutsu world; he knows it's dangerous, yet a part of him just wants to say 'fuck it', like if he had the guts to. The ravenette thinks it's a way too much generic way to describe what he feels, but it's the easiest, so he goes with it anyway. The back of his brain fears rejection, part of the reason why he hasn't made a move yet.

"I'll try it out."

"Good!" And you're always supportive no matter what, to the point it charms him more and more everyday.

For now, he's okay keeping it platonic. But, when the day after tomorrow comes, he just might confess.

[manonblaqkbeak]

The Reunion

Day 5--I had completely forgotten that I had written this lol. It’s more fluff as usual. Can’t wait to read everyone else’s later on!

Enjoy! :)

1.8k words

Rowan couldn't wait to get home. Today had been...exhausting, to say the least. He was a personal trainer, and with that came the territory that people would talk about their issues while working out. Which was fine, Rowan understood that letting out emotional issues when working out helped people to stay motivated. He himself had been known to rant about his issues when working out himself.

But today had been a lot. One of his regulars had put on weight over the Yulemas holidays and was beating himself up over it. Another regulars marriage was over and was dealing with that guilt.  Someone had lost a favourite aunt. Another one had to break off an engagement because it was a loveless relationship. And on and on the issues piled up.

Rowan was good at compartmentalizing, but after a while, he ignored his lunch break in order to go to the park to just...not think for a while.

Being at the park cheered him up a little, but his break was soon too over. And he was back to work, and that was when the skies decided to open up and pour down buckets of rain. Making a bad day into a shittier one.

His wipers were on the fastest setting and he was driving at a snails pace when he looked away for one second, one fucking second, when he heard a thump and a feminine voice yell out “what the fuck!”

Slamming on the brakes, Rowan came to a speedy conclusion.

He was at a pedestrian crossing and he just hit someone with his car.

He just hit someone with his car.

“Fucking hell!”

Pulling up the handbrake, Rowan got out, not sure what to say or do when he came across a golden haired woman, her eyes spitting out blue and gold fire.

Rowan blinked at her, because despite being covered in rain and sitting on her behind, hand rubbing at her hip, she looked familiar.

But now wasn't the time to thinking about that. He had to see if she was okay. “I'm so sorry,” he got out, “I have no idea what happened. I looked away for a second, that was all. I'm so fucking sorry. Are you okay?”

“My hip and my ass hurt, and I suspect that I'm going to have a wicked bruise, but I think I'm okay,” the stranger said. “You should really watch what you're doing, though.”

“I know. I'm sorry, again.”

The stranger sighed, and even that sounded familiar. “What a fucking day I'm having,” she mumbled.

“Bad day?” He probably made it worse, too. He should also really get her into his car, but she starting ranting before he could do anything about it.

“The fucking worst. I'm facing a deadline that I can't finish, because I'm having dreadful writers block. My landlord is a fucking creep who came to my place today saying that my underwear 'accidentally' got mixed in with his laundry. My cousin's dad recently came back into his life, so now he's angry all the damned time and it's leeching into me. And you just hit me with your car.”

Rowan nodded in understanding, but only could manage to say, “Yeah, your day definitely sucks.”

She glared at him, silently telling him that that wasn't really the best way to respond, but he was having a bad day, also.

Which wasn't an excuse he knew, but Gods, it wasn't really his day either.

Rowan helped her up, her hands warm despite the cold and took her to his passenger seat and pulled over to the side. He couldn't help but notice that she smelled like jasmine and lemon verbena. A calming scent.

“I'm not sure what the protocol is,” he admitted after handing her a hand towel from the glove box. “Do we call the police? Or my insurance? I should take you to the hospital, I know that much.” Even if all she said was that she hurt her behind and hip, it'd be best to ensure that she didn't fracture anything.

When she said nothing after a moment, Rowan turned, noting that the silence from the woman was a little concerning, scared to death that maybe she hit her head and was going into shock.

Her blue-gold eyes were wide. “Are you okay?” he asked again. He really should get her to the hospital.

“Are you...? This is...you couldn't be. Rowan? Rowan Whitethorn?”

Rowan blinked, his concern turning inward. “Yes, that's my name. How did you—?”

“I, uh, it's me. Aelin Ashryver Gala—”

“Galathynius?” He finished for her. She nodded.

They sat in silence as Rowan stared at her, taking in her blue-gold eyes, golden hair, the lemon verbena and jasmine smell of her. Recalling the familiar sigh. All of it.

Rowan wanted to bang his head on the steering wheel when all of it came crashing down on him. He had just hit his high school crush with his car.

Rowan, for whatever reason that he couldn't name, wanted to laugh. He never would have suspected that he would hit Aelin Galathynius with his car ten years after high school graduation.

He was fairly certain that high school him had been in love with her from the moment he saw her. Rowan had wanted to ask her out at least a dozen times, but he was an awkward seventeen year old that didn't know how to talk to women that weren't family members and never gained the courage to do so.

It was one of his biggest regrets from his teenage years.

The last time he had seen her was at the after party of their graduating day. She wore a daisy flower crown and was sparkling in a golden dress. He had never seen someone as beautiful as her—even to this day.

Unbeknownst to Rowan, Aelin had felt the same way. She was confident back then as she was now, but every time she wanted to go up to Rowan to talk to him, to get to know him, the butterflies in her stomach threatened to strangle her.

So she never did ask him out. And here she was now, ten years later, in his car. He was still the most handsome man she'd ever seen.

She was still pissed as hell though that he hit her with his car.

It had only taken a moment, a single moment, for her to realise who it was she was sitting next to. The moment that the hand towel touched her face and she breathed in the pine and snow scent of it, she was transported back to the past.

“How have you been?” Rowan asked her after long minutes. His green eyes still as pretty as the day Aelin saw them. She was sure that was what she loved about him the most all those years ago. Other than Lysandra's, Aelin had never seen such a stunning green.

Aelin snorted, her fond memories disappearing at the inane question. “You were listening when I was ranting, weren't you? My day has been shit.”

Rowan gave her a small smile, and her heart skipped a beat. He still smiled the same. She had liked that about him, too. Still did, apparently.

“No, I mean how's life been since graduation? You mentioned writers block. Are you a writer then?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I write fantasy-adventure-romance novels under the name of Celaena Sardothien.” She had liked the animosity of it all, with none of her books containing a single photograph of her.

“That's amaz—wait. You mean to tell me that you're the writer of the 'Fireheart' series?”

Aelin smiled proudly. “That's me. Have you read them?”

“I have. It's one of my favourite series.” They were his guilty pleasure, really, but it felt rude to say that out loud, as if it was shameful.

Aelin blinked, taken aback at the confession. “Really? You mean to tell me that brooding Rowan Whitethorn reads romance novels?”

Rowan frowned a little bit at that. “I don't brood. Not anymore.”

“You're brooding right now.”

Rowan grumbled. Okay, maybe he was, just a little bit, however.

“How about you, though?” Aelin asked. “How's life been?”

“Busy. And right now, it's a bit shitty. I'm sorry for hitting you with my car, truly. We should get you to a hospital, though. Just to make sure that you're okay, please,” he added, when he saw that she opened her mouth to likely protest. “I won't be able to sleep if it turns out you need a hip replacement or something and I didn't take you to get checked out.”

Aelin truly doubted she would need a hip replacement, but nodded anyway. “Okay, you can take me to the hospital. And then afterwards, I'll give you my number and you can take me out to dinner.”

Rowan blinked at that and then smiled. He had always like confidence in a person. “Okay, it's a date.”

“I've never had a date after a hospital visit.”

“Well, then, I better make it great.”

Aelin smiled, warmth filling her. The day turning out a little nicely, despite it all. “You better.”

x x x x x

As Rowan lead Aelin to the dance floor, he couldn't believe his luck. Never in a thousand years did he think that accidentally hitting Aelin with his car would lead to this.

To their first dance as husband and wife.

It had been exactly one year to the day when he saw her again after ten years. It was very much an Aelin thing to want to have their wedding anniversary to match the date.

The story had been re-told by a slightly tipsy Fenrys as part of his best man speech, about how Rowan would be the only man in the world to meet his future wife by way of a car accident. The story always made people laugh, with people saying that the universe must have wanted to get them together and was sick of them taking too long.

Because as it turned out, when Rowan and Aelin's relationship grew and they learned more about their ten years of life, they were always somehow minutes away from running into each other. From when Rowan was starting his hike in the Southern Continent, Aelin had just finished hers and was going back to her hotel—the very fact that they were staying at the same hotel, but floors apart.

When Rowan had missed out on book tickets to a signing of her third novel in the Fireheart series, and he had to turn around and leave the bookstore since it was a private function just as Aelin was moments away from going on.

From going to the same concerts, to the same festivals, from seemingly everything that they had in common, they had missed each other by minutes.

They silently thanked the universe, even if the way they ran into each other was less than ideal. But they wouldn't change it for the world.

Rowan kissed his wife and thanked his lucky stars.

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

I'm Yours

Pairing: Kirishima x reader

Warnings: There's kissing. A lot of kissing. Just some teenagers being dumb really. No canon characters were harmed in the making of this fic. I didn't include a cheating aspect since I don't write for that kind of stuff, but there's still some jealous!Kirishima here >:3

Author's Note:

Uhhhh I kinda forgot to make this fluffy . . . .

Thanks to uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwi from Wattpad for requesting! (that's a really fun username hehe)

Enjoy!

-Sugar

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Swamped.

That was the only way he could describe it. Kirishima didn’t think he’d ever been so busy, and he wasn’t the only one.

Finals had the entirety of the hero course stressed, especially the second-years like himself. Between training, doing homework, and going to class, there wasn’t exactly room for being social. Any time he was able to hang out with his friends, they were studying together. Nothing he'd really describe as 'fun'. And that’s what had him feeling the worst about all this.

He’d started dating you a few weeks ago—going on three months now, actually. Things had been going well between the two of you. You liked him and he really liked you, so to him, there hadn't been any type of problem.

Even so, there was something a little unique about your relationship: no one knew about it. You yourself were never one for letting others get too involved in your business. And besides, you also knew the nature of most high school relationships. Maybe you’d announce yourselves as a couple and make a big fuss only to grow tired of the other and end it all within the first month. But clearly, that hadn’t happened.

There was a strange thrill to keeping your relationship a secret; a novelty your boyfriend hadn't expected. Though he wasn’t much for dishonesty, Kirishima practically lived for the stolen glances across the classroom you’d share, and the way he’d sneak you behind the school for impromptu makeout sessions with no one ever the wiser. You were his little secret, and he was yours.

Until it had all come to a grinding halt with the extra schoolwork.

He still tried to make time to spend with you in one of your dorm rooms, but the both of you finally had to admit to yourselves that neither of you could get any work or studying done when you were alone together. And so it was back to study groups; holding hands under the table as either Bakugou or Yaoyorozu went over the newest batch of hero laws that needed to be memorized.

God, how he wished this could all be over. Kirishima just wanted things to be normal again. When was the last time he’d even seen you? He could remember watching the back of your head duck out of the classroom at the end of the day, but after? . . . Nothing.

He frowned at the physics worksheet laid before him, mind wandering to thoughts of you as one of his sharp teeth sunk into the eraser at the end of his pencil. Kirishima supposed he should go check on you later, once he’d finished up his assignments for the evening.

…

“Did you see (L/N) yesterday?”

Kirishima’s ears unconsciously perked up at the sound of your name. He stood with his tray in the lunch line directly behind some of his female classmates. They were chatting amongst themselves as they slowly stepped forward. Kirishima wasn’t generally one to listen in on conversations he wasn’t a part of, but now they’d captured his interest. Had one of them seen him sneaking into your room?

“No, I didn’t,” Uraraka said in response to Ashido. “Is she alright?”

“Of course she is,” the pink-haired girl said, rolling her abnormal black and amber eyes as she reached for a clementine. “Actually, she may be doing more than alright.”

Kirishima swallowed. Uh-oh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jirou asked, sounding largely uninterested in gossiping about her fellow classmate.

“Well,” Ashido began, bouncing a little on her toes, “I saw her on the tech floor yesterday and you won’t believe who she was talking to.”

“Who?” Jirou asked dryly, probably hoping to get the discussion over with as quickly as possible.

“Kobayashi Tatsuo. The third year,” Mina announced proudly.

The redhead behind them quietly sighed. Thank goodness. They still didn't know.

“And?” Uraraka questioned.

“They were totally flirting!” Ashido said. “(L/N)’s bagged a cute upperclassman boy! They’ll be dating soon, I just know it! If they aren’t already.” She smugly leveled her shoulders, grinning with an odd look of satisfaction.

What?

“I guess that’s good for her,” Jirou commented, picking up her tray from the lunch bar in order to follow her friends to a table.

“I know, right?” Mina said excitedly as they walked off. “And he’s totally cute too! I wish a hot guy would pay attention to me for once.”

Kirishima watched them leave, almost forgetting to grab lunch for himself after being so absorbed in what they were saying.

The majority of him knew he shouldn’t pay any mind to it. This sort of thing was bound to happen. Of course his peers try to figure out who was involved with who, even if it wasn’t really accurate or from the most credible source. The girls didn’t know that you were already taken by someone else, in fact, the very person behind them in line.

At least now he knew where you’d gone after class yesterday . . . but why? What were you doing on the tech floor? And who was this third year you were talking to?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Kaminari’s voice. Kirishima returned the greeting, sliding into his seat next to his friend. As he settled into the atmosphere of his usual table, he couldn’t help but scan the cafeteria for your face, just as he had done every day, even before you were dating.

But for the first time, his search came up empty. You were nowhere to be seen.

…

Kobayashi wasn’t exactly the person you wanted to be spending your lunch with.

Really, a part of you wondered why you had to skip going to the cafeteria at all today. But then you remembered the stack of work that sat on your desk. It stubbornly refused to ever shrink, no matter what you did. Recently, it felt like as soon as you got one thing done, two more assignments would find their way right back at the bottom. And this was just another one you had to deal with.

While reviewing your materials for your upcoming finals, you’d begun to take note of other heroes’ costumes and support items. Particularly, you’d taken interest in a hero from Ukraine who’d debuted a few decades ago. Your quirk was wildly similar to his and you couldn’t help but further research his techniques, costume, and gadgets that enhanced his abilities.

You weren’t one to copy. Actually, you quite liked the way your current costume functioned and looked, with its own unique style of your own. Even so, you’d read things about him and his quirk that you honestly hadn’t even thought of for yourself, and you’d begun to make a special section in your notebook for improvements to your hero ensemble. Was it the best use of your time? Perhaps not, but you did have a practical exam coming up, and a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if these improvements you were sketching might make all the difference in your performance . . . .

You decided you could use an upgrade. Which is exactly why you went to the second-year in the support course who was in charge of making adjustments to your costume. Until your hopes were immediately dashed when you found out he was sick. Determined, you went to the next best option: Kobayashi.

He was a nice enough boy. Tall, witty, and a whole year older. You hadn’t expected to be spending so much time with him over the past week, but for whatever reason, he kept calling you back to his workspace in the shop for ‘daily check-ins’. At least he was making good progress.

But now you were spending your lunch hour eating with him. It felt strange, being alone in a different classroom with the guy—not an uncomfortable strange, merely “I’m not used to being here”. You’d let him borrow your notebook full of sketches for your costume, and that’s what he was going over with you now.

He’d ask you for clarification on one of your notes before jotting something down of his own right next to your handwriting. He had also been eager to show you his process, explaining the steps of what he was doing while you ate from your bento.

To be honest, it was kind of nice being in a different setting. Kobayashi was fun to listen to; it was clear he was passionate about what he was doing.

But still, he ran out of things to talk about. That was, when it came to your hero suit. Figuring it was too late to go back to the cafeteria anyway, he ate his own lunch with you, striking up a new conversation.

At first, you didn’t pay any mind to it. But then you began to take notice of how close he sat. Then you realized how eager he was to make you laugh, how smoothly the casual chatter flowed between you. And then it struck you just how much he peppered in compliments to you. Finally, it clicked.

Uh-oh.

You refused to meet his gaze when he waved you off after the bell rang. Dashing away, you wondered how serious he might be. Did he actually like you? No, perhaps you were overthinking the situation.

Then again, he had been being awfully nice to you ever since you’d met. But what if that was just how he was? Kaminari could be like that at times, and you knew he didn’t usually mean anything too serious behind it. Or—well—perhaps Denki the Flirt was a bad example for your case. Still . . . how were you supposed to make it clear to Kobayashi that you weren’t interested?

You shook your head to clear it of these thoughts. He hadn’t actually done anything, so what was the point of worrying about it? You were loyal to Eijirou, you knew that. You’d made a commitment to him just as he had to you, and that was all there was to it. No matter what, you’d continue whatever it was you had with him. Kobayashi wasn’t an issue you should be losing sleep over. Besides, you were probably reading too far into things anyway.

Content with the conclusions you’d made, you walked back into your homeroom class for fifth period. Settling into your seat, you faced the chalkboard in front of you, awaiting the return of Aizawa-sensei, unaware of the pair of ruby eyes fixed on your back.

…

Kirishima shot up from his desk the moment he heard a soft knock on his door. As soon as he opened up his room, you came barreling into his arms. “Hey!” he greeted you, reciprocating the hug.

“Study break!” you announced quietly, not wanting to alert his neighbors of your presence.

He tittered happily to himself, leading your bodies back to his desk where he could sit you on his lap in his chair. Settling comfortably on his thighs, you were quick to slot your lips against his. Kirishima melted into your touch.

How many days had it been since he’d last gotten a chance to kiss you? Two? Three? Either way, it had been far too long.

“Shall we take this to the bed?” he joked after a few minutes of kissing.

You chuckled at his harmless allusion. “You know I’m going to fall asleep as soon as I lay down.”

He brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face, concern morphing his features. “Have you been getting enough rest with all this going on?”

“No,” you admitted. “I was up last night with my English flashcards. I swear Present Mic is trying to kill me with this new vocab, it’s like I can’t get it in my head at all.”

“I could help you study it,” your boyfriend offered, his hands resting lightly on your waist.

“That would be productive,” you said sarcastically with a roll of your eyes. “What was it last time? ‘If I get a set right, I’ll get a kiss’ and then next thing I know, we’re making out on your bed for twenty minutes.”

He grinned up at you coyly. “At least I made studying fun.”

“That wasn’t studying!” you protested with a grin. “Speaking of, my timer’s going to go off soon—” you pressed your lips against his for a moment, “—and I want more kisses.”

Kirishima let you have your way with him, threading your fingers through his hair while you savored the taste of his lips. But there was something still nagging at the back of his mind.

“(Y/N)?” he asked when your phone buzzed and you pulled away. “Where were you during lunch today?”

You shrugged, pulling your phone out of your pocket to silence it. “I’m getting improvements on my hero costume. My regular guy got sick so I’m working with this third-year dude.”

“Ohhh.” Kirishima’s worries dissipated almost instantly. “So that’s why you were on the tech floor.”

Confused, you frowned. “Did you see me there or something?”

“Oh, sorry! I just overheard Ashido saying that she saw you down there.” He laughed. “She thought you were flirting with him or something and that you were going to end up dating.”

“Ah, well,” you mumbled, “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything or not but he, um, actually might have been flirting with me.”

Kirishima’s smile dropped, his arms subconsciously squeezing you tighter to him. “What?”

“I only noticed it today—it totally could be nothing—but I think he’s caught feelings? I mean, why else would he ask me to have lunch with him like this? Not to mention how he was smiling at me, and looking at me, and touching my hand—” You bit your tongue, stopping yourself from saying anything else. Maybe this was more serious than you realized.

Your boyfriend was silent, staring at the floor below you with a troubled expression. His ruby eyes traced over the rectangular patterns on his floor, seemingly lost in thought.

“You know that nothing’s going to happen,” you attempted to reassure him, lifting his chin with one of your fingers so he could look into your eyes. “Those feelings aren’t reciprocated and I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already picked you, Eijirou. There’s no one out there like you.” You pressed a kiss to his forehead, sealing your statements, not only to him but to yourself. “We’ll sort this out. If I have to tell Kobayashi I’m taken, then so be it. Maybe keeping our relationship a secret isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.”

When you pulled back, you noticed that there was still a pout on Eijirou’s face.

“Aw, what is it?” you asked, tucking one of his fallen sticky spikes back under his bandana.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, pulling you even closer to him.

“Talk to me, baby.” You ran a hand down his back.

“I don’t like the thought of him being around you,” he confessed into your shoulder. “I . . . don’t want him smiling at you like that, or touching you, or letting people think that you belong with him. You’re . . . mine.” He paused before laughing dryly, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry. That sounded . . . totally selfish of me and probably not very manly at all—”

“No,” you said simply. “It’s actually kinda hot.”

He pulled back to look at you, perhaps to see if you were joking. Your expression was intrigued, maybe a little flustered. “Really?”

“Yeah.” You swallowed. “I . . . like when you call me yours. It’s cute. And besides, it’s okay that you feel that way. Feelings don’t have to make sense. I'm frustrated about this too.” Pecking his lips a final few times, you regretfully stood from his chair. “I wish there was something more I could do right now, but I should get going. I promised Tsu and Uraraka I’d meet up with them. We can talk about this later.”

“See you, (Y/N),” Kirishima said.

You smiled and waved, turning to the door and checking to see if anyone was in the hall before slipping back out. Kirishima watched you go, wondering what he should do.

Kirishima hadn’t even met the guy and he already hated him. Sure, Kobayashi wasn’t aware you were taken, and he had every right to show interest in you, but that was supposed to be Eijirou. It was Kirishima’s job to flirt with you and be there for you and sweep you off your feet. Your classmates should be shipping you with him, not this random guy from another year.

The redhead sighed. He shouldn’t let himself get so caught up in this. He knew you were capable of sorting this out on your own, and if you really needed him, Kirishima would help you. He couldn’t start getting whiny like some kind of child.

Besides, your friends could think whatever they wanted. It couldn’t affect your relationship. They were just high school kids. They didn’t even know what they were talking about.

Despite the fact he was trying to get back into focusing on his work, Kirishima’s mind couldn’t help but wander. Maybe once exams were over you could finally announce that the two of you were together. Then you wouldn’t have to sneak around so much anymore. He could hug you whenever he wanted, and you could sit on his lap during movie night. He’d be able to kiss you in front of his friends, no problem. Maybe, just to see the look on his face, he’d kiss you in front of—

No, no. Japanese Literature. That was what he was supposed to be thinking about right now. The sooner he finished his work, the sooner he’d be able to see you again.

…

Finally it was Saturday afternoon, and you knew you had an entire day to take things a little easier tomorrow. Maybe you’d even try to take the evening off and spend some time with your boyfriend. But of course, you had to meet with Kobayashi about your hero costume first. Hopefully it would be quick, and perhaps even the last time.

You walked down to the tech floor, heading straight for the workshop. You needed your suit for the practical exam next week, so you hoped he was ready for you.

Peeking into the room, you spotted him putting something into a very familiar case.

“Oh, are you finished?” you asked, walking in.

“Yeah,” he said brightly. “You’re all set, (L/N).”

“Thanks,” you said.

“Here,” he popped the little box open, showing off the finalized improvements he’d done and the changes he’d made that you’d spoken about together. He walked you through everything and you listened politely, asking the occasional question. Even with the newfound bitter taste in your mouth at being around him, you had to admit he'd done a spectacular job.

“That should be everything,” you said, ready to go. “Thanks for working with me.”

“No problem.”

Satisfied, you began to walk away.

“Wait, (L/N).”

Apprehensive, you stopped, turning back to him. “Yeah?”

“I was just wondering,” he began, bashful, “if you’d like to grab lunch with me sometime.”

You frowned, apologetic. “I can’t, Kobayashi senpai.”

“Why not?” He looked hurt.

You winced. “I’m already involved with someone else.”

“You’re just ‘involved’?” he asked dubiously, the expression on his face changing. “Please give me a chance. I can see that you feel something for me too. Whoever you’re with, I could be better.”

“I’m not interested,” you said firmly, any momentary sympathy you might have felt evaporating. “Goodbye, Kobayashi.”

He let you go, watching as you walked stiffly out of the classroom. As soon as you rounded the doorway, you felt something grab you. Gasping, you startled, but you were quick to register a familiar head of red hair. You saw Kirishima put a finger to his lips, pulling you further down the hall and towards the empty stairwell for some privacy.

He pushed you up against a blue-gray wall, grinning at you with hooded eyes.

“Eiji, what—?”

“I heard the whole thing,” he murmured, leaning in and capturing your lips for a quick kiss. “I thought that guy might make a move on you so I followed you down here. You held your own.” He kissed you again; this one longer, his tongue sneaking its way into your mouth. “You’re really mine, aren’t you?” he murmured against your lips, a stubborn trace of hesitancy still present and quavering in his voice.

“Of course I am, Eiji,” you whispered, touching your forehead to his. “I’m yours.”

He surged against you again, kissing you hungrily and pinning you even harder against the solid surface behind you.

You gasped against his force, eyebrows drawing together as you struggled to keep up. “Ei—” you tried. “Not here, let’s go someplace else.”

“Who cares?” he murmured, uninterested in stopping.

“Me. I don’t want to get caught by a teacher or a random fifteen-year-old. We could get in trouble.”

Kirishima sighed, finally drawing back for a moment to meet your eyes. “Okay, fine. But we’re going straight to my room, right?”

You snorted. “Where else do you think I want to be?”

He smirked, taking your hand again. “Good answer.”

Kirishima briskly walked you back to the dorms, his hand migrating ever lower down your back. It wasn’t long before he was sitting you on his lap in his bed, mouth once again connecting with yours right where it belonged.

You weren’t sure he’d ever kissed you like this before, in all the time you’d been together. His passion blazed before you, unrelenting as your teeth and tongues crashed together. He nipped at your lips until they flushed and swelled, and you knew they’d be noticeably bruised by morning but neither of you stopped. He kept going, trailing more kisses from the corner of your mouth, to your jaw, and all the way down your neck only to return right back to your parted lips whispering his name.

Kirishima’s room had never felt so hot and stuffy, even as he pulled off his uniform jacket and helped you out of yours. His cheeks burned red as his eyes, so caught up in what he was doing, the only thoughts his mind was still capable of having were simply You.

It went by in a haze. He wasn’t sure when exactly he’d lowered you onto his pillow, or how long he’d been hovering over you and caging you in with his arms as he cherished you.

But he knew one thing. His love for you wasn’t something he could hide anymore. No, he’d never let anyone think they stood a chance with you again while he was around.

One day soon, he would kiss you good morning at breakfast. One day, you’d hold hands in the halls on the way to class. One day, he’d pull you in close after school, slinging an arm around your hips just so he always knew you were there at his side.

But he was happy to be here with you now. He was happy to be your secret. He was happy, even as his kisses began to soften and slow, content with the way your body melded against his as he laid himself at your side and hugged you closer. All that mattered was that you were here with him now, and he was yours.

And you were his.

══════ ≪ .·:·.♡.·:·. ≫ ══════

Taglist: @aahilovetheatre @basicalyrandom @bumbyslair @f0leysgurl @hyunmin-1404 @kqtsukii @nabo39 @pyrofanatic​ @rainy-skys-and-bright-stars @sendhelpimstupid @ure-a-sunflower @xoxopam4​

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Fresh Blood, Old Scars Part 1

You'd disappeared 15 years ago without a trace- what's Yancy supposed to do when you walk into Happy Trails Penitentiary and don't recognize him, because he's transitioned? canon compliant trans!yancy/reader

Reader: he/him trans man, no physical description

Rating: T

Warnings: mentions of violence, canonical and parental. deadnaming and misgendering before either of you came out (none by anyone who knows the correct name/pronouns)

Word Count: 2,690

“Hey Yancy, I heard there’s fresh blood comin’ in today for some sorta museum heist.”

“Oh? Know anything else about these guys, so we can give ‘em a proper welcome, Bambam?”

“I know some. The first guy, Mark Iplier, claimed to have been in charge of the whole thing, but from what my sources said, it’s the partner that ran the show- just real quiet-like. I’ve been told that he don’t say a word.”

“Got a name for this, uh, silent partner?” He chuckled at his joke.

“Y/N L/N.” Yancy’s stomach dropped the way it always did when he heard that last name, your last name. Get your shit together. Wrong first name, and Bambam said he and his. Bambam don’t use pronouns other than they/them unless they’re sure. It’s just some guy with the same last name.

“Yance, you okay?” Tiny waved his hand in front of Yancy’s face.

“Yeah, yeah, just, uh, thinkin about how best to greet dese guys. The usual, wit Don’t Wanna Be Free ready just in case?”

“Right off the bat? You really think they’re that high of a flight risk?” Sparkles finally spoke up.

“I, uh, I don’t trust dem silent-types. They’s always schemin’, got somethin goin ahn in their heads.” And if he's anything like- yeah. Gone before you know it.

“Okay, if you say so. I’ll go let the others know.” Yancy didn’t even register who was speaking; he was too lost in memories.

- 15 years earlier-

Yancy knew it wasn’t cool to be excited for the first day of school when you’re a senior in high school, but he didn’t care. He didn’t need or even want to be cool- all he needed was to be your friend. Well, maybe not just friend. You’d been gone for almost the entire summer, and he’d spent the whole time figuring out how to both ask you out and tell you that he’s a guy.

He practically skipped across the street to your house so you can walk to school together, like you had every day since middle school. He knocked- nothing. Rang the doorbell- still nothing. He checked the back door and the spots where you had hidden spare keys over the years- nothing. All the curtains were drawn, too, so he couldn’t see inside. He kept trying as long as he possibly could before he had to sprint to make it to class just barely in time. All day, he kept an eye on the door, waiting for you- the two of you made sure to sign up for the exact same schedule before you went on your vacation. At lunch, he went to the office to see what he could find out.

“Y/DN isn’t a student here anymore- Mr L/N just told us last week.”

“What? Do you know where they went?”

“I’m sorry, hon, I don’t. All I know is that Y/DN is no longer a student here.”

He’d never ditched a class in his life, but that was the last thing on his mind as he ran home, crying. He didn’t stop crying for weeks.

-Present -

He’d never wanted to be wrong more in his life, but there you were. Looking better than he’d ever dreamed, following Mark around silently as he blabbered on about wanting to rally the other inmates to try to break out. No. I lost you once, and it cost me everything. I’m not about to lose you again. He quickly spread the word to skip pleasantries with the new guys and prepare for the song. As he was, you made eye contact with him from across the room. His heart dropped; you didn’t recognize him. You looked right through him, with the same calculating expression you gave everyone else. Of course he wasn’t gonna recognize you, dumbass. You’ve been on hormones for years and have had top surgery. Usually Yancy loved that he couldn’t see anything of the person he used to be in the mirror, but today he hated it more than anything in the world. Stick to the plan, Yance. He doesn’t recognize me, but it might be better this way. This way, I can get him to stay and get to know me as I am now, and he won’t be disappointed that I haven’t become anything like what we dreamed of so long ago.

Yancy couldn’t have planned it better, Mark practically begging Jimmy to punch him through the wall right before the show started, leaving you alone.

The number went great, as always, but then you showed him a picture of your parents. He knew that picture; you took it when the four of you went on a vacation together before you started your freshman year of high school. He also knew that he had once been in the picture, but you’d cut him out. The tape and staples that had been holding his heart together since you left fell away.

He stuck with his usual response to people citing family for wanting to leave, for the most part. No one at Happy Trails knew about you, and he’d killed his parents before they could leave him, so he’d kept his true abandonment issues to himself. Face to face with you after all these years, though, he couldn’t stop himself from adding “they’re always just gonna leave you behind” and a warning about trifling with the past. You flinched a little at both of those, and a spark of hope ignited in his chest- maybe you hadn’t forgotten about him, even if you didn’t recognize him now.

Then you still chose to leave. The rest of the rather single-sided conversation was a blur to him. Later, as he was tending to his injuries in solitary, he remembered calling you handsome and/or beautiful and your blush when he did. And, of course, you knocking him flat on his ass. He’d challenged you to a fight, because he’d always been able to beat you before. The part that truly left him confused, though, was why he offered to help you break out.

All he’d wanted for the last fifteen years was to go back to the day you left and beg you to stay. He’d told himself dozens, maybe hundreds, of times that if he ever saw you again, he’d do everything in his power to keep you with him. On his darker and angrier days, he truly meant everything. But here you are, and he offered to help you leave. This is what you get for even hoping someone might stick around. Let’s just do this. I gotta stop in with the warden first, though…

“Me? Out there? With you?” He chuckled. You had no idea that, with that simple gesture, you offered him everything he’d wanted for so long. Fuck, I don’t deserve him. I still love him, but he deserves someone better than the angry, selfish man I am. The fragments of his heart splintered even more. “I, um. I done a lotta bad things. And, uh.” He made himself brighten up. “This is home! For now, anyway. Maybe next time parole comes up, I’ll, uh” take it and go find you like I should have fifteen years ago. And I’ll spend every minute until then trying to become the kind of man you deserve. “Anyway, I gotta get back to it. You take care now, you hear? And, hey, visitation! Every third Sunday!” You looked down at the box you’d brought with you, and he ran. When he got back to his cell, he cried genuine tears for the first time since that August day when his world turned upside down.

- 2 weeks later, visitation day -

He knew hoping you’d come was a waste of time, and that he was just setting himself up for more pain. He’d learned the hard way that when you were gone, that was that. But still, there he was, looking up every time a guard walked into the room. As expected, they never called his name. The rest of the inmates gave him a wide berth as he went back to his cell for the night, and they were right to. He was itching for an excuse to fight. No one gave him one, though, so he told himself he’d find one tomorrow and got ready for bed.

When he got to his cell, it took him just one second to realize there was someone on his bed, pull them off, and shove them against the wall. It took him three more to process that it was you, and then another five to step back and let you go.

“Sorry for scaring you, Yancy. I didn’t mean to. It’s just… it’s visitation day, but I’m still wanted for the escape you helped me pull off, and I haven’t decided if I want to come back for good or not.” He stood there, frozen. You chuckled nervously. “I get it, your turn to be the quiet one. I’m sorry about that, by the way. There was a lot to process all at once, and I just kinda shut down when I get overwhelmed.”

I know. I remember that you didn’t say a single word our first day of high school, Yancy wanted to say. He wanted to say something, anything, but you being there and so close was just too much.

“Okay, so, honesty time; there’s a specific reason I came back.” You took a deep breath. “I haven’t been able to shake this feeling that I know you, somehow. But I know I’d remember meeting you- no way I’d forget someone like you. Anyway, I'm probably way off base and ridiculous. I guess I just wanted to tell you?” You ran your hand through your hair. “God, that sounds even flimsier than it felt in my head. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It, uh. It means a lot that you came back to say that.”

“Uh, Yancy? What happened to your accent?”

“Shit. Um. C’mere.” He muttered, as he sat down on his bed and pulled you down next to him. He prayed that you couldn’t hear how his heart started racing when he noticed your knees were touching. “No one here knows that the accent isn’t how I always speak. Not even the warden. I’ve been here five years and haven’t dropped it once. Anyone learns about this, and you’re dead, understand?” He knew that the threat was empty, but you seemed to believe it.

“Yeah, yeah, I do, don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me. I gotta ask, though- why fake it? It seems like a lot of effort. You don’t owe me an explanation, of course, but since you’re heart-on-your-sleeve about your parents, it must be one hell of a reason. I bet it’d feel good to let it off your chest. I can promise to leave and never come back if you do- a burden shared is a burden halved, and if I’m gone, you can be 100% sure no one here will know.”

He took a deep breath. “Something flipped my world on its head, and I needed to distance myself from who I was before. That’s an odd phrase, though- ‘a burden shared is a burden halved’. Where’d you pick that up?”

“Oh, um. The mom of someone I loved a long time ago used to say it a lot. It just kinda stuck, I guess.”

“Loved, huh? You break their heart, or did they break yours?” Yancy was surprised he got the words out without his voice shaking or cracking. You were silent for a long time, and Yancy was sure he’d pushed too hard and you would completely shut down or, worse, leave altogether.

“Sorry, I haven’t talked about this… ever." Your voice shook. "I’ve never talked to anyone about this. I don’t know if I was loved back, but if so, I was the heartbreaker. I didn’t mean to be- I couldn’t control having to leave, and I didn’t know I wasn’t coming back until it was too late. I couldn’t say goodbye. I’ve hoped every day for the last fifteen years that my feelings were unrequited, though. I’m happy to have the pain of an unrequited first love if it means she wasn’t heartbroken.” The incorrect pronoun stung a bit, but you didn’t know, and you’d loved him back all those years ago. He was invincible.

“Have you tried reaching out? Even if your feelings were one-sided, I think you owe it to both of you to say them, at least once.” He reached out and took your hands without thinking. You didn't stop him, and he felt like he could fly.

“I tried, actually. About eight years ago, I'd, uh, escaped and was finally an actual person again after everything that was done to and taken from me, so I started looking for her. But it’s like she vanished off the face of the earth five years to the day after we were separated. It’s actually how I met Mark- I got into some deep and shady shit looking. I only gave up last year. Nothing turned up in seven years of searching, so I have to figure that she did something incredibly stupid a decade ago and got herself killed.”

“I didn’t die. Just the name did.” Yancy breathed. A half second later, he realized he’d said it out loud, and his heart stopped. You took your hands out of his and scooted away.

“Yancy. Are you trying to tell me that you’re- that we- oh my god. It is you. I knew I knew you. Everything else is different, but I should have recognized your eyes. I guess some part of me did. But you- I- I thought you were dead.”

“As you can see, I’m not dead, Brain. And for the record, your feelings were definitely not one-sided.” He reached out and cupped your cheek with one hand.

“Shit, Pinky, it really is you.”

Yancy had dreamed about how seeing you again would go in a million different ways. Not a single one of those included you practically jumping into his lap and kissing him with a lifetime's worth of love and want.

He let out an undignified whine when you broke the kiss. “Wait, wait. You knew from the second I walked in here who I was, didn’t you? You tried so hard to stop me from leaving… but then you helped me do just that. You chose to stay here when I asked you to come with me. Then I came back, and you got me to say all those things… And we’re both trans and wound up here? This is all just. So much. I can’t- I can’t do this.” You got off his lap and scooted to the far end of the bed.

“What are you saying, Y/N? That you’re leaving? Again?” He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice.

You stood up and faced him. “You do not get to play that card. You don’t know how much I went through trying to find a way to tell you I was sorry, that I didn’t know that the trip was a permanent one until we were on the other side of the country. Dad said that I'd never see mom again, and he’d kill me if I tried to get in touch with you or anyone else from back home. He broke my arm to prove he meant it. I can’t stay here to unpack all of this. I have to go. But you can come with me. I mean it even more now than I did last time. I’m not leaving you, I’m leaving here.”

You walked to the cell door and looked back at him with a sigh. “But I know you, and you have a family here. I’ll get you my address- it’s your turn to come to me, when you’re ready. I’ve waited 15 years to be with you again, what’s a little bit longer?” Without giving him a chance to respond, you kissed him again and were gone.