#any other time he's bOred
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me and like two other sukuna stans making posts about how miserable he is
#I'd say tragic but I wouldn't go that far... YET#even tho he's already a deeply sad character to me#its almost... all I talk abt here lol#he seems kinda depressed to me idk#you cant really see it when he fights someone but the thing is he's only happy and excited WHEN he fights someone#any other time he's bOred#hes looking for pleasure and fighting gives him that pleasure but its all surface lvl cause once there's no one left to challenge#he's left feeling not only bored but empty...#you can even even see it after he kills jogo#his face is devoid of any emotions and his gaze seems soooo....... empty#only after uraume arrives we can see for the first time a genuine joy on his face#its that connection w another person sukuna not only lacks but actively rejects claiming he doesn't need one#but yet here he is being genuinely happy after seeing uraume#this man is not only contradictory but also in deep DEEP denial#ryomen sukuna#god this got longer than I expected lol#anyway#it’s sukuna angst hrs#I ALWAYS reblog an angsty suku post whenever I find one
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“When toxic behavior is portrayed as romantic, it’s problematic. When problematic behavior is portrayed as a character flaw for a character to work through, it’s good storytelling.”
Katsuki Bakugou, my friends.
His behavior was problematic but never once portrayed as romantic at the same time. Katsuki said and did awful abusive things, and he also chose to be better when he was given the chance. If you’re still hung up on chapter 1 Katsuki now then I don’t think you’ve been reading the same story I have.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not shipping Izuku with an irredeemable abuser. I’m shipping him with his most important person. His narrative foil. His childhood friend who made awful mistakes and then made it right when he saw he was wrong. The person Izuku looks up to and strives to emulate, despite their past struggles.
Bakudeku is so good because of how flawed these boys are, and how hard they’ve worked to get over it, and how much they matter to each other after it all
#perfect stories about perfect people who never do anything wrong are usually boring#stories about growth and mistakes and redemption and forgiveness and progress are lit#bkdk#bakudeku#the quote is from cinema therapy on YouTube btw#love them so much#they look at media and talk about what is and isn’t good from a real life human perspective#and boy did this quote slap me in the face#anyway this is my thought literally any time anyone says something about shipping Izuku with his abuser#if he was still being abused then I get it#but he’s not#and saying he needs protection from Katsuki is honestly doing his character dirty#and this is not to say that every situation with an abuser and a victim should turn out romantic#obviously not#the world is not black and white and neither are people#sometimes you have to get yourself out and never look back and that is valid and healthy#but sometimes you’re talking about two boys in a manga who literally cannot stop thinking about how good and incredible the other is#bro I get it#surface level chapter/episode 1 Katsuki is literally the worst#but his glow up has been literally meteoric
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This was gonna be a comic, but I wasn't having fun drawing it, so I scrapped it
You get the cover and outfits section
#art#illustration#fanart#psychonauts#razputin aquato#lili zanotto#sasha nein#milla vodello#raz psychonauts#lili psychonauts#sasha psychonauts#milla psychonauts#outfits#the idea was that Sasha and Milla get assigned to investigate reports of strange psychic happenings at a mall#and Raz hears about it and begs to come along. and Lili's says she's coming if Raz is#and it's likely not very serious so they're allowed as long as they stay out of trouble#but Raz keeps wanting to look at everything and go into all the stores#Lili gets bored that they're not finding anything and joins in Raz's wanting to actually do things#and she sorta convinces Milla as well. by guilt tripping her about how Raz hasn't been to a mall before and so he's never seen any of it#so Sasha's left as the only one taking the mission seriously#also they've got different outfits (other than the ones in the outfits section) so you can tell it's a different time than in the games#I think probably a month or so post psychonauts 2#fav posts
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DPxDC Prompt
Thinking back on it, Danny probably should have been more wary of being given the title ‘Ender Of Timelines’.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny phantom#dc x dp#dcxdp#I guess any crossover but it’s the one I was thinking of at the time#probably a summon fic?#they’re like Oh Fuck Who Have These Cultists Brought In?!?!#panic. mayhem. chaos.#meanwhile Danny is like. you put ONE alternate universe version of yourself into your own CLONE and SUDDENLY it’s a PROBLEM#he steadfast ignores the other times he fucked with time and then refucked with it to fix it#arguably it’s a title that should go to Dark Danny who I’m calling Dante because#chefs kiss ITS GREAT#maybe it applies to both so it’s like. a coin toss who shows up#Dante is like. ugh. community service says I CANT. let me give you the most bored speech on the planet about loving the earth and making…#the most of your timeline.#you know. up until he actually NEEDS to go light some fires. which he’s maybe a bit too quick to jump in on as soon as he can#meanwhile Danny is like. I can barely pass geometry and now I gotta help solve THIS problem TOO?!#they’re both good at it. just. different approaches#the timeline is capital f FUCKED if both show up tho#the mythos… you could have so much fun with it lol
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During a dormhead meeting-
Riddle glaring at Leona: "Heartslabyul will host them during the start of the week but not a day beyond that! They tend to eat too much sugar and dig up the roses!"
Leona shrugging: "What Jack does in his free time is not on my head. Anyways, if they sneak into Savanaclaw none of ya get to badger me for news on them got it? I'm not their babysitter."
Vil huffs: "We wouldn't have to if you took your role seriously! And Pomefiore already hosted them during all weekdays last week!"
Idia sounding frazzled even through his tablet: "Just- can we keep them out of Ignihyde this week? They- they spent the weekend gaming and raising a ruckus! Everyone is still jittery from the shouting!!!"
Kalim sheepish: "I'd offer but after the incident at the last party Jamil kinda banned them from our dorm till we can get the scorch marks out of the walls"
Azul with a frown: "I'd normally host them at the lounge for an appropriate fee but I need it in working condition after last month's fiasco"
Malleus looking put out: "I did offer to let the child of man and their friends 'carsh' with Sebek as Lilia says, but they claimed that the dorms 'vibe' is nor suited to the relaxation they are aiming for"
#Ramshackle here is mostly unlivable to Yuu and Grim dormhop alot#n the other firsties get bored alone so they follow them#this usually ends in arson fights and properly damage that gets them kicked out of dorms#but since none of the heads want their first years living in literal ramshackle they play hot potato or divorced parents with them#Riddle can handle them for a few days before the rulebreaking gets too much or they get sugar high#Leona lets them run wild. the others can stand not knowing what theyre doing 24/7 when they know Leona wont step in.#so they start badgering leona who get fed up and kicks the firsties out#Azul charges an exorbitant fee to host them but after a few too many instances of property damage to nor just the dorms but Monstro Lounge??#yea he's taking the offer off the menu for a bit#Kalim think theyre fun! but hes trying to not make Jamil mad at him so he doesn't host them too often#Vil like Riddle can handle them for a few days but anything beyond that is too much. he does need his dorm standing#Idia hosts them alot because hes glad hus brother made friends and any property damage can be handled.#but the extrovert energy freaks him and the other dorm members out so he tries to have them over in small doses with breaks in between#Malleus would love to host them!!! but between Lilia offering to cook for the firsties all the time#Sebek going stiff whenever Malleus is around and his arguments with Silver made Yuu veto the dorm#twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar#jack howl#azul ashengrotto#kalim al asim#jamil viper#idia shroud#ortho shroud#vil schoenheit#malleus draconia#lillia vanrouge#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst grim
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i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.
#3 am queer discourse take <3#anyways hot take number two. cishets do belong at pride. everyone who wants to celebrate queerness should be welcomed at pride#if a completely cishet business major fratboy wants to come to pride and vibe with us then he should be welcomed!#not even like. oh he has a queer sibling. no. if he's just a cishet dude who wants to spend his saturday at a parade then hell yeah#like completely ignoring that you have no way to tell he's definitively those things. it shouldn't matter regardless imo#pride is not a secretive club you need to be let into. it's a feeling and a celebration and a statement and a state of being#and whatever you want it to be#burying my other related hot take under the tags readmore ksdjksdjksdj#idk. i'm just tired of a lot of the things people seem to think about bisexuality's validity relating to bi women specifically#this is frustration with the gatekeepy and straight-passing discourse of it all#I'm tired of people being expected to act and to preform and to BE queer enough for others' opinions.#am I still welcome if I haven't been with a woman in a few years? if I dress boring? if I like m/f? if I don't listen to chappell roan?#joking on that last one but like. idk. never straight enough for the straights but never gay enough for the gays#constantly some mercurial in-between that offers no comfortable easy group to put us in.#what do i have to do to not be judged as a filthy hettie? are my doc martens enough for you yet?#like oh sorry let me cuff my jeans and have a bob and wear a button up over a cami and wear etsy earrings. am I visually bi enough yet?#let me apologize for the cardinal sin of liking men too. let me wash my hands of any time a cishet man has held them.#if it was a bisexual man then just hand sanitizer is fine right? where do you draw the line on my queerness?#let me preform for you in a way that makes me queer enough.#anyways. sarcasm aside. I think I've made my distaste for this whole affair evident#if you don't want cishets at pride then what happens to those you incorrectly deem as cishet? do I need to prove myself to you?#am I passing as straight? am I passing as gay? am I enough for onlookers?#is it not enough to just show up at pride and celebrate? anyone and everyone who wants to?
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the idea came to me in a migraine induced dream but now im obsessed with the concept of a mu qingfang who knew the abuse bunhe was going through at the hands of og!shen qingqiu/shen jiu and did his best to treat the kid whenever he could (and bring his concerns to zhangmen shixiong, which were obviously very much ignored) and his constant worry over the situation means that when the qi deviation happens he is suspicious of shen qingqiu’s changes for all different reasons and very much protective of luo binghe -who is a sweet child and an earnest disciple who seems to always find the most incredible medicinal herbs to bring to his mu shishu as thanks for the care bestowed upon him- which means that when the whole shen qingqiu dying thing happens instead of bad mouthing luo binghe or fighting him at every chance he does his best to come over and keep an eye on things to try and help him and make sure luo binghe won’t kill himself trying to bring shen qingqiu back because he remembers that earnest kid and he’s witnessed luo binghe’s devotion to this shen qingqiu first hand and knows there is no way that the kid who cried when ning yingying found a bird with a broken wing and begged mu qingfang to fix it and the kid that would always borrow medical texts and try to find new herb combinations as if it was a game between him and qian cao disciples is actually doing anything nefarious to shen qingqiu’s corpse.
anyways in this essay i will-
#listen#binghe needs to have more people in his corner#and for some reason i have imprinted on mqf#so you get cool healer uncle#who probably smoked weed with binghe and made him promise to keep quiet#lbh and mqf bonding activity was teaching lbh to properly roll joints#anyways mqf understanding that the rituals are intricate and lqg doesn’t have any other way of coping with his grief#but the first time lqg injures lbh almost to death in a fight they get into a screaming match so violent#that no bai zhan discipline will look at him in the face without going pale for the next month#that is his nephew! who found several thought-to-be-extinct herbs for him!#also him telling sqq that lbh might have forgotten what he did but mqf certainly didn’t#a healer never forgets the wounds they heal#and sqq is just like yeah brother me neither :(#mqf is going to therapy these idiots so fucking hard#lbh also keeps trying to matchmake him with some nice demons in his court like shamelessly trying to poach his mu shishu#also he and shang qinghua are the only ones who still get the full shishu treatment#except lbh kinda bullies sqh a little for the virtue of the whole mbj situation#(hes never gonna let them live that down)#anyways it’s whatever at first but at one poont years in the future it does become a point of contempt with the other peak lords#nothing can take away from me that when bored they will squabble like children#such is the way of bored adults#i have rambled enough so normal tags now#svsss#svsss writing#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#mu qingfang#bingqiu#svsss au
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god damn i do not post often but can i talk about intentionality for a second?? one second please
i'm gonna be talking about bg3 but this really applies to any fandom space. people will, surface-level, agree that a Black character is not getting enough content compared to their white counterparts because it's. obvious . take wyll, who is several hours behind on voiced lines compared to other origins despite being one of the original five (before they added karlach and whiteified her too but that's another post). it's hard to deny cold hard facts
but then instead of engaging in content that uplifts Black characters and creators, they'll go right back to pumping out more and more content of just their white faves. on its own, it's not actively harmful, but here's what the implication is, whether they acknowledge it or not: yes wyll has less in-game content, yes his writing didn't get the attention it deserved, therefore i don't like him as much. it only perpetuates wyll's lack of content by contributing to his sidelining in fandom spaces
what i would love for fans who claim to be allies to do is to step out of the comfort zone of their initial favorites (which can, in fact, be biased!) and start pursuing content centering Black characters with intentionality. like all things, anti-racism (actively pushing back against racism rather than simply "Not Being Racist") takes practice and effort. you can't really agree with us that wyll needs more content, then in the same breath say that it's because of that that he's not interesting to you . the point was right in front of you doing a jig and you still missed it
#bg3#wyll#wyll ravengard#this isnt even including people who didnt notice that wyll had less content in the first place#which is. a very damning admission. so you werent paying Any attention to him...? at all....? its obvious even on a first playthrough tf#i had to physically stop myself from saying specific white boy names in the main post bc i knew it would just be fanning the flames#and thats not productive. as much as i hate to admit it.#anyway we all know why halsin is so much more popular than wyll. the white man with as much personality as a cardboard cutout#ITS HARD TO APPRECIATE HIM WHEN HES 1) boring and 2) part of the reason wyll got less content bc adding him meant less time for the others#if people start things in the replies im deleting this post if im being honest. this needed to be said but#i am not in the habit of arguing with strangers on the internet and i am not starting now#tyto speaks#man i didnt even mention how white side characters with maybe 5 min total of screentime get so much fan content .#while wyll a whole ORIGIN character gets left out of party art and either infantilized or villianized beyond the point of recognition
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https://www.tumblr.com/louisupdates/754934426217152513/goodbye-faith-in-the-future-world-tour-272024?source=share
did he or did he not lose fans then?
I will answer this because this anon actually brings a concrete question to the table rather than just "hurhur but you're a larrie??" (tell me you can't actually refute any of our points…). Anyway this post shows the decrease in Louis instagram followers between the screenshots taken directly after the release of Faith in the Future in Nov '22, when he changed his bio to promote that album and the tour tickets, and now, when he changed it again to mention the current release. But I'm putting that response under a cut because I'm tired of the actual POINT of all this nonsense getting lost in a sea of made up things people insist are important:
There is no rational argument you can make to say that Louis has less fans now than he did 2, 4, or 6 years ago. You don't need a spreadsheet of details you need to USE YOUR EYES! He has gone from filling theaters to filling arenas and stadiums. His second album made a higher chart position than his first album. His festival has doubled in size EVERY year of its existence. And for that matter: his insta post engagement numbers remain about the same (despite the fact that older posts should have way MORE likes due to having been there longer, even aside from follower counts.) SO WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT HIS INSTA FOLLOWER NUMBER???? Serious question: what does the word "fans" mean if these things aren't what matters? ALL of this quibbling about what he should do to make things better and people can't even see that THINGS AREN'T BAD.
Anyway to address the specific question- (con't......)
NO- HE DID NOT LOSE FANS. HE LOST SOME INSTA FOLLOWERS. THESE ARE NOT THE SAME THING. As I said above, literally what does it mean to lose fans if that number change coincides with him having higher sales, more audience members, and higher engagement than ever before? Whatever he lost ISN'T FANS. I wouldn't be surprised if a significant factor was something like a bot purge, but also yes: I'm sure a lot of casuals followed him around the time of his big album release and later unfollowed him. That's extremely normal because that's how casual engagement works, and why the definition of fan really matters. Louis and his team understand this and have referenced it repeatedly, talking about how lucky he is to have *us* specifically, to have the kind of dedicated fanbase he has, to have the KIND of fans he does who will allow him to do what HE wants. @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram named the issue of depth vs breadth with regard to fans a long time ago, and pointed out why having DEPTH is so much more important. It's like this- artists who are on top 40 radio have more numbers on things like insta follows, and for a time on sales and tickets. But those aren't FANS- they're people with a casual interest. And as soon as that person isn't being forced in their ears 10x a day, those people lose interest and stop supporting them, stop buying stuff and unfollow, and those artists end up doing the 'opener on the jingle ball' circuit rather than their own tours. One Direction as a whole, and Louis maybe most of all or near to at this point, have something MUCH MORE VALUABLE than that- DEPTH FANS. Louis has fans who will support him even if he takes years to release music, or stops parading around with a pretend girlfriend to stay in the headlines at least once a month, or completely changes his image and genre, and that is UNHEARD OF. It's ASTONISHING and worth SO MUCH MORE. And they get that! THAT is why he always bragging about us, why industry people he works with are always so agog about us, why he will do anything for US- not for randos. He is also growing his breadth- and it's OBVIOUSLY WORKING whatever his follower counts are, but that is always going to be secondary to doing things for THE FANDOM because that is his sustainable business model. That is what keeps him onstage and reaching number one. And not coincidentally, the things they do are also working to grow that- much more valuable- commodity. So the fact that that's exactly what these chuckleheads complain about- that he does things that are just fandom facing or serving rather than everything being aimed at recruiting casual fans- does nothing but betray how completely they, unlike Louis and his team, misunderstand the actual drivers of his (actual, existing, happening) success. Luckily for Louis, he and his team rely on their own data harvesting (they do a LOT of it) and growth metrics (they're off the charts) rather than the smug assumptions of random (mostly quite new to this) fans and the few bitter people leading the complaining about everything Louis does.
#louis promo#all this nonsense about this tag or that tag or this or that number is so getting lost in the trees#when the forest is RIGHT HERE: WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS WORKING#so for now#I'm pretty done with this discussion unless someone actually engages meaningfully with the content of anything I'm saying#rather than just repeating the same things- but he needs to tag more! or the even more boring-#but you're a larry! if you send me a bitchy response that doesnt actually address any points I've made#I will assume it is because I'm right and you have no rebuttal other than to act like a preschooler because deep down you know it#honestly the discourse around this makes me feel a little sad and scared about the state of literacy and reading comprehension#and just general analytical thinking#but I hope its just that no one over 15 spends their time sending hate anons about fandom#if I'm wrong please come engage in actual conversation! but otherwise... let's just... not#blah blah blah#anyway there's a reason Louis is always so afraid no one will be there for him and that he started out solo era playing those radio fests..#because we are IMPROBABLE we are UNBELIEVABLE we are NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN EXPECT OR COUNT ON#and making nurturing and maintaining that his number one priority ALWAYS is extremely correct and smart#actually#I was originally going to be like here are when there were bot purges here are other artists that have seen numbers go down etc#but then I was like WAIT WHO CARES. You're letting these people dictate the conversation... but the premise is stupid#it DOESNT MATTER#depth v breadth
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lover, don't touch me // leave, i am a danger to you // but ooh, i hunger for you
#this is leona's vampire lover audra#i guess you could say the first time they met was when audra nearly killed her in a blood lust because she hadnt fed in so long#idk how to describe it well but audra suddenly stopped devouring her when leona looked at her with no fear in her eyes#but looked at audra like she was something to worship#she whispered that audra was so beautiful even as her own blood was splattered between them and staining her lips#leona had never seen someone or something so perfect and powerful#power that she wanted and knew exactly how to get when audra whimpered over the slightest bit of praise#i never talk about them but i am CONSTANTLY thinking about them <3#some fun little facts is leona killed her husband in cold blood because he was pitiful and boring#she married the first person to show any interest in her just to get away from her family#he would have been a perfectly good husband for anyone else#but the best part of their marriage was when she stabbed him in the stomach 47 times and felt his blood splatter against her skin#for audra OBVIOUSLY had to make another oc who would do anything to be loved even if it means destroying herself#audra was turned very suddenly and without any guidance#she murdered her lover without even realizing it she opened her eyes to find them splattered across every surface of the room#because of that shes done everything she can to protect herself from others even if it means starving herself of blood#until she goes into a frenzy#leona is the first person she has ever willingly fed off of#idk if willingly is the right word since leona practically begs her to do it#i really want to remake leona now.........#i like how leona looks but i want her to match audra better#mysims#the sims 4#simblr#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 cas#ts4 cas#sims 4 edit#ts4
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Compilation of the ninja being captured and not having a fun time.
#i got bored#school is easy so I made this#lego ninjago#lego#ninjago#lloyd garmadon#kai smith#ninjago zane#zane julien#jay walker#cole brookstone#nya smith#dragons rising#Poor Lloyd. The capturing started at a young age for him.#Not that it was any better for the other ninja's#There is one picture where Cole just lookds confused#I love it#I should make a post counting how many times Lloyd got captured because he's Lloyd aka Second Spinjitzu Master aka boy with Golden Powers#Also the picture with Cole in the background looking like 'come on' is very funny to me.
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To me Adler signalis is just genuinely oblivious to what the rest of sierpinski staff thinks about him. He’s just that kinda guy to me, easily bored, focused on his own things and just vibin while the kolibris talk shit about him
#in my heart he has a sibling type relationship with the kolibris. they can’t stand each other but it’s different for both of them#they genuinely loathe him at times bc they think he’s annoying and boring#he just gets mad when tasks aren’t happening how they should happen but I don’t think it’s personal for him in any way#he just goes through life like hm :) ! I’m glad the protektor staff listens and respects me :) !#they don’t bro you’re their annoying ass brother (affectionate)#they listen to falke#who tells them to listen to him#adlers just funny to me I am genuinely fascinated by him and wanna study him like a bug#falke putting Adler and that one kolibri in the get along shirt#signalis#Adler#lynx rambles#I don’t have anything deep to say today u just get my silly shallow Adler musings#I also haven’t delved into his character as much as I have with Isa and Ariane for example#but overall he’s a devoted + kinda oblivious but well ordered in his own way kinda guy
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n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.
#text#i think even younger ones that possess the same nasty traits can be slammed back 'In their place' (in his mind) by him just bc his -#- abilities and power alone (alt. name the factors that make him 'Cool') that dumbs them down insanely in comparison#maybe by this i mean like; ild*ri. despite the animosity she could still feel very foolish and is conscious of her wuss-ness#if that makes sense#cause no matter the disrespect anyone might have for an older capable person the reality is still reality#tbh i just think he doesn't like to sweat it much and still aims for the younger ones bc it's easier than it would be for someone that's -#- 30+ years old#and once he's proven his point he doesn't find any merit in sticking with older ones cause their interests or anything they offer -#- don't matter to or interest Him personally#i think an older demographic is just more boring to him and he would rather spend his time being metaphorically sucked off for his greats -#- by someone that already finds themselves 'lesser' than him and always will for a long time#than someone that is defiant of that fact#basically the more power imbalance the better#in his mind there will always be one unless he certainly knows someone is his equal (or better than him) but he likes the add-on of an -#- age difference too#keeps it in a safe zone with less problems for him#sorry for spitting again my brain just started machine-gunning thoughts for no reason#also i said before that he's an innocence fan. might not be a total puritan but there's something there#it's kinda like him not wanting to be with a dusty ''OLD'' person that's seen a lot anyway#i'm like barely able to hold myself back from opening my mouth to mention t*lvas where i'm making a point about n*loth's brain where he -#- isn't even needed to prove it#but like#him voicing dislike of n*loth general nauseating character and actions but still sucking up to him while n*loth can probably feel -#- that dislike anyway is cute to me i like to view it as an object being thrown into the wall over and over#where n*loth is proving his own worth to other people by drilling their brains out with proof. not that he needs to#but he would like that to be perfected a 100%#and t*lvas is capable of being molded into that state ....... probably#silusvesuisuis you didnot just confess to wanting to see t*lvas be slammed into a wall you fucked up demented beast you're sick#actually can't believe i forgot to mention this but he's literally so immature idk what he has anything in common with actual mature people
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#for context. a few weeks back i was playing on a fast respawn 2fort server#mostly because i just wanted to just. hang out somewhere without any real serious gameplay happening#that said. for the first few hours i was playing on there. was mostly playing gunslinger engineer and detonator pyro#and we had a good push up into their base but were stuck just at the entrance. with a heavy hold from the enemy team#but after a while. i just kinda got bored and wanted to just fuck about with the taunts and loadouts i had#first thing i did was play pyro and do the cheers taunt before getting on my bike and swerving a bunch as i drove#but i dont think anyone could tell thats what i was doing#so after a bit i just changed to scout. and started just riding my skateboard#(i also did the drinking and riding bit a few times but i eventually just ended up skateboarding around)#(one bit being me on the top of the bridge. doing the cheers taunt. getting on my board. and then skating off the bridge and killbinding)#so at some point. i kept getting stuck in place for some reason. like speficially on bumpy ground or... in the air#and the moment i got stuck in the air (for 30+ seconds mind you) i was just like ''my quantum board technique''#and from there. i just acted as if i was playing the newest Pro Skater game#saying stuff like ''i have to do manual ollie combo for 150000000 points''#or like ''i have to find grindrails on this level''#eventually found my way into the sewers and said something like ''IVE FOUND THE HALF PIPES''#before saying like ''man they really screwed up the physics since the last game''#a soldier on the other team was trying to find me the whole time saying ''wheres tony hawk''#specifically because he had a tony hawk avatar. and i only realized after he said something about it#anyway. after all that i skateboarded into a minisentry and died#and my last message was supposed to be ''my combo has ended'' but i ended up typing 'bombo'#and it made me laugh SO hard i couldnt backspace. and added on with ''my sweet bombo''#and then i left because i had nothing more to do there. my bombo had ended and i had to move on.
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Thinking about Carter trying to help Percy go out and do things again as he slowly gets better so he tries to figure out stuff that Percy likes that's not just swimming. And Percy says he likes skateboarding so Carter get himself a skateboard and protective gear and gets ready to make an idiot of himself at a nearby skatepark and Percy's decent but he's so. Unengaged with it. They go out once and then never again. But when pressed Percy insists he does like skateboarding.
So Carter tries again. What else. What things did he do as a kid? What did he do when he had free time? What made him happy? And of course there's swimming but even with a pool right across from him, Percy doesn't really use it. At some point he admits he didn't swim as much as people might expect as a kid. For a long time, he needed an adult with him to have access to the public pools and his mom was busy and Gabe wasn't going to go with him. But he likes swimming. He does!
Contrary to popular belief, he was quiet kid. A homebody. He didn't have friends. He didn't have money. He didn't go out. He didn't do things. He had two video games for a GameCube console that he never got to use because Gabe hogged the TV. He had a box of cheap PC games no one ever heard of that were kinda fun but the computer took ten years to load and when Gabe came around, he hogged that too.
Outside the house, he sorted through trash for recycling to donate for coins. Hung out at the candy shop with his mom when he could. Bought a macrame set and made ornaments to sell to neighbors for the holidays. Picked up skateboarding because it looked cool, it was free, the board was cheap, and he needed a reason to not go home because Gabe was there.
He never really considered the question before. Maybe because, like now, he knew deep down asking himself "what do I like" would open up a can of worms he didn't want to sort through. He didn't need to know. He knew the reality. There was nothing good in that can. Just worms all the way down.
"Annabeth and I would go to museums," he says, flicking a piece of lint on the carpet.
Carter doesn't even look up from his computer. "Do you like going to museums?"
"Annabeth likes it," Percy says.
"But do you like it?"
Percy pauses. Then, "The tours are okay."
"So no." Carter clicks his tongue. His brows furrow. Percy wants to smooth it out. Make it go away. How can he make it go away? He put it there, he needs to make it go away.
He flicks the lint again. It tumbles once. "Sorry."
Carter's gaze flickers. "Why are you apologizing?"
"I don't know." Because I'm stupid and empty and a burden, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Without looking away from his laptop, Carter reaches out and pinches Percy's cheek. "You said you sold macrame a couple times. What about that? What if you picked it up again?"
Percy rolls his finger over the lint. It balls up. Fuzzy. Gray. Small. Flattens smooth and thin as he presses down. "Sure." Maybe he could make a tiny cactus for Grover. He moves his hand but the lint stays flat. Thin. Unable, unwilling to separate from the curls of the carpet. Pathetic. "Let's try it."
#you ever pause and realize percy doesn't seem to have any actual interests through the whole series#like he just does things but he does them because he has to or because he's asked to#i think about this a lot#percy jackson#carter kane#happy talks pjo#my writing#my fanfic#i feel like Percy wouldve been into comic books too as a kid but Gabe (and other kids) would've bullied the interest out of him#and comics can be expensive so he didnt really have anything popular#anyway carter also 100% called up grover to ask him what percy liked to do#and grover was v candid that percy is not enthusiastic about his solo interests and will simply do what the people he likes wants to do#grover has tried the hey percy what do you wanna do method. it never worked and pushing it only seemed to stress his bff out so he stopped#but carter is a little more stubborn and really loves problem solving#the key is also distinguishing between what do i genuinely like to do and what do i do to avoid boredom because those aren't always the sam#i think Percy does a lot of stuff to avoid being bored but it's not really things he enjoys doing for the fun of it#i think he'd like to cook and bake though. and garden but gardening can take a lot of time and patience. cooking gives quicker results
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actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored
#N posts stuff#like even if you think alex was lying throughout the entirety of season 2 and he was waiting from the Moment jay showed up#JUST to kill him (Which again i don't think makes much sense when he could have killed Tim & Jay immediately instead of#breaking Tim's leg. anyway) EVEN IF alex spent that whole time lying it doesn't actually change the fact that he would have at least#been Pretending to Ask For Help and if he wasn't lying then he was Literally Asking For Help and it doesn't Actually matter#what intention Alex had because the text is Ambiguous about Alex's honesty during season two; what isn't ambiguous is the way#other characters (specifically Jay) respond to him; like yeah - S2 Brian/Tim were never in one million years going to help Alex with shit#so sort of any argument that brings up Tim as someone who asks for/offers help is borderline meaningless in this era of the series#Jay had the 'opportunity' to help Alex (and i'll get back to that in a sec) but DIDN'T - Jay wasn't Interested in actually offering Alex#'help' bc Jay is ultimately curious about Answers and 'Offering Help' and 'Getting Answers' are two Wildly conflicting goals#Jay thinks Alex has answers and when Alex doesn't Offer these 'Answers' to Jay on a silver platter Jay gets pissed off and paranoid#and starts Stalking Alex bc he thinks it's 'Suspicious' that Alex won't give him the Answers (that Alex probably doesn't Actually have)#ANYWAY. ultimately this post is about how it's absurd when people argue#that individual character choices could have made a difference in the way this series played out - specifically wrt Alex#because EVERYONE in this WHOLE series are being affected by influences outside of their control ; including Brian Tim and Jay#so it's silly when people are like 'if ALEX had just made a different choice For Himself this could have all been avoided' WRONG.#bc Ultimately there's not really a way to 'help' someone else out of this situation - Tim tried and failed Repeatedly#the comics proved he even failed with Jessica - like MH isn't a horror situation where you can kill the big bad#'getting help' is a meaningless argument - what would successfully helping or getting help even look like? anyway.#the sub argument of this post is that Alex's biggest 'sin' is that he doesn't perform emotions the way other people want him to#like Alex is a character with a kind of flat affect - instead of LOOKING scared or grieved he LOOKS bored or angry#and everyone judges him based on that - so Alex is 'Suspicious' he's 'Lying' he's 'Guilty' but all of these deductions are predicated#on the belief that Alex isn't reacting to his circumstances the way a 'Normal' person would - so it MUST all be an act and so he's guilty#so everyone treats him like he's guilty until the end of season two when he's like 'Fuck it FINE i'll be guilty then' and so it goes#not a self-fulfilled prophecy but being Cornered Into a prophecy and then Blamed for it - SAD. anyway
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