#anxious toast
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I hate working under capitalism because every time I get a message pointing out a mistake I've made, I have to pretend I'm not sitting at my desk crying about it thinking that I'm a failure who can't do anything right, and I have to act like I'm actually so glad they pointed this out to me so I can learn from it.
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tryna get commissions set up so expect in the future?? maybe????
#toast speaks#paypal makes me anxious because I can't be anonymous#I'd use kofi but you'd need a paypal for that I think??? I might be wrong???#I tend to use venmo or cashapp but idk guys idk
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survived the weekend from hell and after a packed, sad, heartwarming, healing, and stressful couple travel days i'm home again... exhausted and drained, but home and feeling so much better after mourning and saying goodbye as a family ❤️ and we also got good news from the vet 🥹 thank you once again to anyone who left a kind comment last week, it meant the world to me 🫶🏼
#im so happy with how the service went bc i put so much effort into making it nice and was so anxious about things going smoothly#i was crying every day about my cat as well while trying to work on everything and be there for my parents who were both falling apart#but now i can say im so proud i was able to be there for them and help make the service beautiful#good example of a time when without my medications i wouldve been toast#instead i was able to process the grief and overwhelm and take care of myself and others#still lots of feelings and grief going on but im glad i can acknowledge ive come a long way in the middle of it ❤️#lush.talk#personal#death cw#funeral cw#grief cw#animal illness cw#pet illness cw
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The urge to send asks about my ocs and aus to other artists vs the overwhelming fear that I'm bothering them and they'll think I'm annoying
#my brain keeps telling me not to cause. idk i could draw it myself#but also i hate my art rn so if i draw it it looks like shit#and i just wanna be able to look at something without wanting to break my screen#idk man my brain is dumb#i did draw something yesterday but I'm not sure i wanna share it#i need to color it first anyway#toast talk#possibly delete later#you don't know how many times I've been typing out asks and then not sending them cause I'm too anxious#and i can't just ask on anon cause they're my aus and that doesn't make sense#uuuugh
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I shouldn’t have had that energy drink =O
Anyone else get that hyper anxiety that you fell off with another mun due to miscommunication and bad timing and you can’t confirm if yes or no so you just boil in it and don’t want to confront them cause you’d feel like you’d make them bad off an assumption due to anxiety and stress so it just ruminates in you and once a week when they show up on your dash/IM’s the anxiety comes back and your just -steam out the ears- about it???
I’d apologize but you see, I’m terrified of people!
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How we feeling today lads!?!??!?
#I'll go first. I still feel a little tummy upset but not nesrly as bad? im almost thinking something i ate didnt sit well and my body ks try#ing its damnedest to get it out. Anxious too but i was the last time. Waiting is what gets ya!! Gonna try to get a ginger ale to sip on SLO#WLY. Aittle while later. Breakfast is still gonna be light. toast and applesauce i think if we have it#elias howls
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had some blood work done today to check the levels of some stuff and i hope the results come back sooooon
#toast text posts#the appointment itself was rly fast#and they said ‘ok ur done’ so i just left#but now i’m anxious i should have stopped by the front desk on the way out#last time i got labs done it was just for a physical#but my white blood cell count was low????#so my doc wanted to check again after a few weeks#….and then i didn’t manage to make another appointment for a few Months#i feel like last time the results came pretty quick#i’ve also been taking vitamins/supplements again#so i hope my iron is better
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It’s the hangxiety
#i didn’t sleep enough and now i can’t sleep because im so anxious feelig#i really hungry i want eggs and bacon and toast and hashbrowns and oranges and coffee#god i feel like shit#i am sooo embarrassed and ashamed of my selffdfff
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💞
#woke up from an unintentional nap angry and anxious#dreamt about something that meant i woke up basically ready to run#realised i haven't eaten since breakfast and that's probably why i napped#got really upset with myself and self soothed by scrolling bc i need to Come Back#and everyone's comments on a bunch of my things are wonderful and i don't feel like my heart's outside of me anymore#thank u everyone i don't have the words to accurately express how lovely everybody is#i'm gonna go make toast or sth i just needed to be grateful first#so it is decreed
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tim hortons and a few snacks obtained... hoping this walk does as i hoped and makes me pass tf out when i'm home.
didn't freak out and cry when the self checkout at the grocery store got angry at my backpack and called the customer service lady over >_<
she was nice.... thank u lady working this early morning shift for recognizing that i'm a wreck atm
#she called me hun too.... in that motherly sorta way not passive aggressive#i think she could tell i was anxious...#also told me that the french toast sticks i was getting were good
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Kinda scared ngl…
I was “sleeping” (i had woken up but didn’t move and my dad was on the phone) and overheard that as soon as I get back from my cruise my parents are gunna send me to some top notch hospital for treatment!
Now it’s 11:30 and I’m up thinking about it!
Ahh I’m in pain rn too!
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Damn, I've spent a great portion of my life answering the question "How do I make myself unabusable?" with "I must make myself perfect" instead of "I won't accept abuse." Haha wtf.
#anxious toast#emotional abuse mention#yeah but now it's hard to tell what abuse even is... because of the gaslighting#emotional abuse cw
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ive been playing loomian legacy again lately and thinking about metronette and how it resembles a certain puppet who a certain ghost hunter transformed into...
#p.i.e#my post#paranormal investigators extraordinare#johnny ghost#my art#loomian legacy#metronette#why does posting this make me anxious jsjfhshfd#bonus: by looks alone id say toast is wintrix#taleblr#also i finally got my hands on a metronette!!! someone very generously gave me one cause they had like 15 of them O.O#for anyone from the taleblr side of whoever sees this: loomian legacy is basically pokemon under a different name#because nintendo doesnt like fan games i guess and purged all pokemon games off of roblox#its pretty damn high quality for what it is!
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Making yourself a tuna melt bagel at midnight to eat watching Outnumbered because being an adult is hard when you're a 25 year old teenager carrying the weight of the world :')
#it was damn good#i ate half and kinda wanted to leave the second bit but the idea of a day old toasted sandwich was even sadder#i threw up twice today and had to help my gran pee while she was stuck on the floor#i had to grovel to my manager for the day off and try to reassure my parents in Germany that gran was okay and an ambulance was coming#ahahaha#I'm so anxious#i was so shakey i could barely hold the clutch to drive home lol#glad my boss gave me the day off :')#i was still on the clock a bit bc i was a lone working buddy and felt too bad to cancel so i was still checking my emails and work phone 🙃#my buddy and coworkers were great but still#i can feel my physical anxiety symptoms getting worse#the trichotill is happening again and so is the ED#i shake so much#my memory is shot#tw trichotillomania#TW eating disorder#tw ed not ed sheeren#that tag always makes me giggle a bit and i always feel horrible about it-#ANYWAY#traumadump over#i fucking love Outnumbered#season 1 Karen is literally me#she's my little 5 year old twin flame idk#she just GETS ME#I'm so fucking excited for the 2024 Christmas special#im getting Outnumbered AND Gavin and Stacey???#ive rewatched both this month in my depressive slump lol#hoping i get a bojack xmas special to round out my depression binge watching lol#god Outnumbered ep 1 is so fucking funny its a masterpiece if a single person sees this pls watch it i love it sm#'can i keep a nit as a pet? :(' Karen is too precious i hope ramona knows how brilliant she is
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do you ever wake up and just know that you experienced a super anxiety–inducing dream but cannot remember anything about it? 🥲
#⟡ — kayleigh.txt#idk why tf i am so anxious 🤷🏼♀️#i have the big boss lady helping me at work tonight so like??? and then tomorrow i am probably going to be by myself??? maybe??? 😬#we’ll see how tonight goes 😂 hopefully even smoother than yesterday 🤞🏻#also my body is so sore but not as sore as i figured it’d be thankfully ✨#made scrambled eggs and toast for myself and the father person and took my meds and now i am gonna do some dailies in my games real quick#and then hopefully fall back asleep until 5pm 🥲🤞🏻
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just panic-fed my dog a piece of toast because he ate chocolate
#hes fine! he didnt eat nearly enough to cause damage or to even justify treatment#but i wasnt the one to see how much he ate and its not like i have activated charcoal on hand so toast it is#my sister was the one who left the chocolate within reach and she was so upset and anxious and bawling :(#so i was like trying to calculate how much methylxanthines he ate and give him bread and stop baby sis from having a panic attack#i was googling furiously and every website was so useless but i eventually got to the calculator and just. relief.#obviously gonna keep an eye on him but it was sooooo far below the threshold for even symptoms much less serious ones#little shit didnt even want the chocolate i bet just the wrapping (which is obv not good either)#rambles
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