kaydalixza - Tumblr blog

kaydalixza · 4 days ago

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addiction hurts

Trying to hold on longer,

You wanted that shit conquered.

Now I'm watching you sleep

thinking you're breathing.

The sickness was eating you alive

taking over your eyes

"one more," screamed the lie.

Hold me longer.

You said, "hold me longer"

Banging your head against glass

thinking maybe death would be fast.

But I whispered, "legends can't die",

while I'm watching you sleep

thinking you're breathing.

#this really moved me #ik it's old atp but this wound is new to me #i managed to get a place on a funded course to get access to nuxoid which i am so fucking grateful for #so happy my work is supportive of my want to support opioid ods i feel Quite Strongly #im sorry coop #this is such a lovely poem and i be Feeling my Feels rn sorry op-

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kaydalixza · 7 days ago

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Finally unfollowed K's faceclaim bc god damn, dating someone who is a THIRD of their life older than them, who you have a gut feeling will fuck them over is just too 🥲🥲 I just know they'll hurt them, if not now in a year's time, I just... I want him to be okay. Please, please be okay.

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kaydalixza · 9 days ago

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#i wish i could say i weren't crying but im listening to die first and oof the feels are hitting tonight 🥲

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kaydalixza · 9 days ago

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"You're my fire and my safety You never mean to break me And that's why I'm afraid 'Cause someday, everybody's leaving You promise that you'll stay But that's a promise you can't make

Someone dies or someone gets hurt But if one of us dies

I hope I die first 'Cause I don't wanna live without you I don't wanna ever learn How to fall asleep without you Tell me what's worse Losing you now or later? Maybe I can break the curse And I can be in love forever If I die first"

#I'd take the bullet for A or K so they never have to be without me #though it'd be the end of me probably #i know I can't really deal without them

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kaydalixza · 9 days ago

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If one of us dies

I hope I die first

'Cause I don't wanna live without you

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kaydalixza · 9 days ago

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yes, my comfort book is also the book that completely destroyed me and yes, i'll keep recommending it to people

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kaydalixza · 9 days ago

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-on alternate timelines and universes

everything everywhere all at once/ @inanotherunivrse/ complex- katie gregson-macleod/ @tiredbtw/ @loviely/ eternal sunshine of the spotless mind/ @death-born-aphrodite

#each time i see this post i sob a bit harder #i miss my a and k so #fucking much #i hope another life lets them cone back #ill waste away in this life to try next time just please come back #my a is dead this life and k is 4500 miles away #just let me start over 💔

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kaydalixza · 9 days ago

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self care is cancelled we're drinking rum and reading looking for alaska

#mecore

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kaydalixza · 9 days ago

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