#anxious stomach
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Sicktember 2023 Prompt-Based Resources to Help You Get Started! 💚
Types of Self Care
everydayhealth.com (comprehensive overview)
mhanational.org (Mental health recovery self-care)
recreation.ku.edu (7 pillars of self-care)
How the Immune System Works
Youtube (basic explanation)
my.clevelandclinic.org (comprehensive overview)
Ways to Avoid Getting Sick
intermountainhealthcare.org (basic prevention)
health.harvard.edu (boosting your immune system)
Fevers
texaschildrens.org (myths and facts)
merkmanuals.com (fevers in adults)
kidshealth.org (fevers in children)
White Coat Syndrome
healthline.com (white coat hypertension)
wellnesscounselingmilwaukee.com (fear of doctors)
Old Wives Tales
premierhealth.com (colds, fevers, and the flu)
womanshealthmag.com (old wives tales that work)
Anxious Stomach
adaa.org (causes of stomach pain and calming techniques)
psychcentral.com (anxiety and vomiting)
themighty.com (blog post: vomiting during a panic attack)
Cramping Pain
my.clevelandclinic.org (abdominal)
mayoclinic.org (muscle)
reumatology.org (growing pains)
Terms of Endearment
fluentinthreemonths.com (nicknames by language)
joincake.com (nicknames by relationship)
mypetname.com (cute/funny nicknames by relationship)
Coughing
truecare.org (types of coughs)
coughpro.com (types of coughs- more detail)
foundation.chestnet.org (about coughing)
Sneezing
healthline.com (comprehensive overview)
expedia.ca (worldwide responses to sneezing)
inpactgrouphr.com (worldwide sneeze onomatopoeia and responses)
Confusion/Disorientation
healthdirect.gov.au (comprehensive overview)
nhs.uk (sudden onset)
Conjunctivitis/Eye Infection
health.maryland.gov (PDF 'pink eye' fact sheet)
demi.org (types of conjunctivitis)
aao.org (how to apply eyedrops w/ an alt method for anxiety)
Uncooperative Patient
seniordirectory.com (written for seniors but very good advice)
kidcarepediatrics.com (giving meds to an uncooperative child)
hpclive.com (tips for handling an angry patient)
side effects/adverse reactions
fda.gov (finding and learning about medication side effects)
mhaus.org (adverse reactions to anesthesia)
buzzrx.com (5 types of meds w/ serious side-effects)
Patient Zero
cdc.gov (monitoring and tracking diseases)
contacttracing.ashm.org.au (how contact tracing works)
Hugs!
dignityhealth.org (four benefits)
somatechnology.com (how hugs affect humans)
Headaches
medicalnewstoday.com (11 types of headaches)
ninds.nih.gov (comprehensive overview)
#sicktember#sicktember 2023#resources and advice#self care#immune system#fever#white coat syndrome#old wives tales#anxious stomach#cramping pain#coughing#sneezing#disorientation#pink eye#uncooperative patient#side effects#patient zero#hugs#headache#sickfic thoughts#writing illness#sickfic prompts#sick character#writing reference#writing ref#reference guide#sick ref#sicfic#sick fic
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New York Trip
So, as I began writing this the thought occurred this is also the first time Koh’s been on a plane and always had an idea on how that would affect him, enjoy part 1 and part 2 will have the seasickness
Takes place the summer before Allie and Koh go off to college, Allie and her family are visiting cousins in New York!
Koh was stepping out of his comfort zone, he was joining Allie and her family on his first flight ever to New York to visit her aunt, uncle, and cousins. This would be Allie’s last big trip before going to study abroad in London for the next year the realization that Allie was set to leave in a few weeks weighted heavy on Koh. He would be going to Seattle, and she would join him the following year. It just seemed so far away; they had been by each other’s side for the last four years and to be apart for a year had Koh’s chest aching.
He was so deep in thought sitting on the edge of Allie’s bed he didn’t hear her come in her voice broke him free of deep thought. Looking over to her she was grabbing her backpack.
“Did you say something?” Koh asked yawing at the end. It was early, feeling sleep weigh on him.
“I asked if you were ready, dad said the car will be here soon.” Koh nodded getting up and grabbing his carry on. All the suitcases were already at the door ready to go.
“You’ve got everything right?” Allie asked as they head downstairs.
“Think so, crossed everything off the checklist you gave me.” Koh set his back down and began putting on his shoes. Chloe, Allie’s sister laid on the couch scrolling through her phone. Mom and Dad followed down the stairs as Ben emerged from the kitchen.
The car arrived not long after and loaded it up then drove off to the airport. The car ride was quiet. Everyone was tired, their flight was set to depart at 6:30, meaning George wanted everyone out the door by 4 to get to the airport at 4:30.
Pulling into the drop off area the family grabbed their luggage and headed inside to check the bags on. This was all new to Koh as he followed Allie’s lead on what to do, the realization of going on a plane was beginning to set in. Focusing on his breathing the last thing Koh needed was an anxious stomach.
Airport security didn’t help, waiting in line wasn’t the problem it was getting up to the agent that had Koh all over the place. People talking fast and giving him quick instructions was hard to follow when he was heart was pounding so loud it muffled everything. Allie who was in front of him turned when she could see the panic on his face.
“Put your shoes in the bin and empty your pockets, but your bag on the belt.” Allie told him in a much calmer way than the agent. She always did have a way of making things seem less scary.
After making it through security everyone was able to sit at the gate and wait for the plane to arrive. A few shops began to open for breakfast and despite feeling hungry Koh’s stomach said otherwise. The anxiety was growing, trying something new always made him anxious. Koh began fidgeting twirling his ring on his index finger and biting his lip. Allie placed her hand on his knee as comfort, but it made him jump.
“I’m sorry, you look nervous.” She stated.
“Little bit, it’s new and I dunno, new stuff scares me.” Koh shrugged, sitting at the airport gate with not much but his phone to distract him wasn't doing much.
“Let’s take a walk, maybe it’ll help. Koh nodded getting up, Allie took his hand. “We’ll be back just taking a quick walk.” George acknowledged her and they were off.
The Chicago O’Hare Airport was huge, not like Koh really had anything to compare it too. Even though it was still early lots of people were waiting for the flights and more were coming. Looking around and taking everything in did a little to calm Koh’s nerves, the airport wasn’t scary it was getting on the plane that was the scary part.
“When was the last time you were on a plane?” Koh asked as they walked.
“It’s been a while, probably before you and I met, we had plans to see family the summer of Ben’s accident think a week or two after it happened. Had to cancel so this has been an overdue trip.
“How safe are airplanes?” Koh wasn’t sure if he wanted to know, or if Allie knew the answer.
“Pretty safe, I read somewhere you’re more likely to get attacked by shark than be in a plane crash.”
Koh gave out a nervous laugh, not sure if that made him feel better. Allie squeezed his hand gently.
“Everything is going to be okay; I’ve been riding planes almost every summer since I was six months old.” Koh felt a little reassured, if Allie had been on planes that many times and nothing had happened maybe he would be okay. They began their walk back to the gate area.
But what if he wasn’t? What if this was the time the plane went down because he was one it?
The one thought alone set Koh over the edge. His anxiety reached its max and his stomach cramped up. Nearly doubling over, he was able to mask it. His breath hitched as Allie, who was still holding his hand give him a reassuring squeeze.
“Do I have time to use the bathroom?” Koh could see just up a head near their gate a restroom which was perfect he wouldn’t have to go wondering around.
Allie pulled out her phone to check the time, “Yeah, you’ve got plenty of time.” Good. Before she could saying anything more, Koh let go of Allie's hand and walked with a quicker pace to the bathroom.
Koh went into the bathroom he wasn’t sure if he even had to go but knowing him and how his body worked it was only a matter of time. Even though the thought came and went the anxiety and fear still gripped him. Sitting on the toilet, Koh’s belly bubbled ominously as a few more cramps gripped him. He didn’t want this to be happening, but he didn't have much of a choice. It wouldn’t be a one and done thing either and the thought of having to use the bathroom on the plane- was there even a bathroom on the plane? Oh god there had to be right? RIGHT?! The thoughts were overwhelming Koh.
His stomach churn and the pressure begin to form lower sharp white-hot pained gripped Koh as the final cramp final cramp and a wet fart as the first wave of diarrhea hit the bowl. His poor tummy hurt so much at this point, the only thing that made this situation not as terrible was surprisingly he was alone.
Biting the back of his head as another wave of sick empty out of him. Letting out a small whimper Koh’s belly hurt, lifting his shirt to rub soothing circles which were supposed to help but instead caused everything to move once more and the last wave splashed below. The movement left Koh dizzy and lightheaded not wanting to get to his feet he waited a few minutes letting out nothing but gas.
The bathroom door opened as footsteps approached the stall. It had to be George or Ben, who else would go up to an occupied stall?
"Koh?" It was Ben. "Just checking on you."
"Yeah, uh I'm good." Koh didn't sound very convincing, his voice was a little shaky.
Ben's footsteps moved away from the stall but not out of the bathroom. Figuring he needed to clean up Koh shook as he grabbed the toilet paper. His tummy still didn’t feel too great, but he was empty, at least he hoped he was. Feeling lightheaded he flushed the toilet and left the stall to wash his hands.
"You okay?" Ben looked at Koh's face, his complexion was grey and a thin line of sweat had broken on his forehead.
“Yeah, just uh little anxious.” Hopefully that would be enough to tell Ben. Koh finished up the two walked out making their way back to everyone.
Koh sat next to Allie and laid his head on her shoulder.
“You okay lovebug?” She ran her fingers through his head. Knowing the answer was no.
“Anxious stomach.” He mumbled. Allie kissed the top of his head.
“You need or want anything.” Koh was afraid to put anything into his stomach, as if the organ agreed it emitted a gurgle and Koh wrapped his arms around his midsection.
“Probably be best not to take anything.” Allie grabbed her water bottle from her bag.
“Small sips. Just a few and I’ll leave you be until it’s time to board.” Koh sat up taking a few sips.
“Question, are there bathrooms on the plane? Ya know just in case?”
“Yeah, there’s usually two, one in the front and one in the back.”
“Oh, thank God.” Allie couldn’t help but laugh. Koh settled down and was able to rest for a bit.
Not sure how much time had passed but Koh felt Allie nudged him to wake up so they could board the plane. He was groggy but awake and relieved that his stomach wasn't hurting or feeling unsettled. His heart was still beating but he would take that over shitting his brains out.
Grabbing their backpacks, Allie and Koh made their way over to her parents and siblings as they waited to board. Once getting on there were three seats to a row Koh.
“Mind if I take the aisle seat?” He asked Allie and Ben.
“Sure.”
“Fine with me.”
Ben took the window, while Allie grabbed the middle to be next to Koh. While Chloe sat with the parents.
Once they were all seated Allie took Koh’s hand.
“You ready?” She asked.
“Don’t really have a choice do I?”
The flight crew went over their emergency instructions and Koh would hate to admit but he probably paid the most attention. Once that was done the plane began moving on the tarmac for take-off. Koh held Allie’s hand until they were safely in the sky.
“That wasn’t so bad.” Koh said. Allie smiled feeling relieved. She couldn't wait to show Koh New York.
#original character#koh takahashi#sick character#sickfic#allie shepherd#stomach ache#anxitey#anxious stomach#diarrhea#first time flying#part 1#stomach cramps
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Steve's Speech
Sicktember Day 13: Anxious Stomach
Stranger Things: Steve Harrington/ Eddie Munson
Words: 500 | Rating: T | CW: mild cursing
@sicktember
Summary: Steve is named Counselor of the Year and panics about his speech backstage. Eddie encourages him.
Find me on Ao3!
--
“Okay, I don’t think I can do this,” Steve gulped, loosening his tie. Around him, other teachers from his school and a few of the other counselors mingled having overlapping conversations.
“You can do this,” Eddie encouraged, straightening Steve’s tie. “They didn’t choose you for Counselor of the Year for nothing.”
Steve glanced at stage left to see the superintendent walk in and start chatting with the principal. His stomach dropped; maybe there had been some mistake?
The thought sent a sick shiver through him.
“Wish they could just hand me the thing and be done with it,” Steve grumbled. He pressed a hand to his stomach as another sick flip turned in his abdomen. “Ugh, I feel like I’m gunna be sick.”
“Hey, you’re okay,” Eddie assured. “It’s okay to be nervous and don’t forget, you practiced it like, three times last night. Just pretend you’re talking to me. Worst comes to worse, you can glance at your cards.”
Steve gave Eddie a pained look. “I will not be the loser who has to pull out their cards in the middle of a speech.” He groaned as he looked at the ceiling. Maybe there was a magic escape hatch that could take him far, far away from having to ever public speak ever again. Maybe he could disappear off the face of this earth right as they call his name.
“It’s a podium. No one can tell,” Eddie amended. He booped Steve’s nose.
The hum of conversations died down slightly and the lights dimmed. Steve swallowed hard. “Fuck, I really could vomit right now.”
Eddie laid a comforting hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Deep breaths, Steve. You’re gunna do great.”
The principal began to gather and escort the other teachers and counselors to their seats. She gave Steve a warm smile as she passed by. “We’ll be starting in five, okay?”
Steve did his best to look more confident than he felt. “Thanks, Ms. Watson.”
She went back to ushering people to their seats, and in minutes the backstage was empty besides the tech crew, Eddie, and himself. He felt sweat pearling at his temples and on his palms.
“Hey, hey, look at me,” Eddie guided.
Steve reluctantly met Eddie’s eyes.
“You’re the best in the district, babe. The best. And you have this incredible ability to connect with your students. Just do what you do with them, with us out there, okay?”
Steve felt a small seed of confidence plant in his chest.He pulled in a deep breath and let it out.
“Okay.”
“See you out there?”
Steve nodded. “And Eds?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ll be looking at you out there.”
Eddie smiled at that and blew him a playful kiss. “I’ll be the one in front.”
Then, Steve was alone.
His heart was in his throat and his stomach knotted and unknotted as he waited. But there was no escape and when he heard his name, he let out a breath before walking out to the roar of applause.
#steddie#sicktember 2023#sicktember2023#sicktember day 13#anxious stomach#public speaking#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie fics#steddie ficlet#acasualcrossfade writes#thunderously halo writes
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@sicktember Day 13: Anxious Stomach
Warning for Illness, vomiting, stress, past surgery, anxiety, overthinking
#sicktember#sicktember 2023#sicktember day 13#anxious stomach#tmnt#tmnt 2012#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012 donnie#tmnt 2012 splinter#illness cw#vomiting tw#stress tw#past surgery cw#anxiety cw#overthinking cw
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Fic title : I Think I'm Gonna Be Sick
@sicktember 2023 prompt : Anxious Stomach
Rating : Teen & Up Audiences
Fandom : Lemonade Mouth
Pairing : Stella/Olivia
Additional tags : Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Nausea, Anxious Olivia White, Good Friend Stella Yamada, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Bandmates, oh my god they were bandmates
Word count : 231
#fanfiction#fanfic#fanfic challenge#fanfic prompts#sicktember 2023#sicktember day 13#lemonade mouth#stella yamada#olivia white#stella x olivia#olivia x stella#stellivia#is that their ship name?#anxiety#nausea#anxious stomach
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Got a line in my head and wrote this around it. Just over 300 words of established relationship fluff
Eddie’s lying in his bed and Steve is next to him. The backs of their hands are pressed together between them and Eddie has his ankle hooked over Steve’s. He’s so full of love for Steve, and so full of Steve’s love for him, he wonders how his body can contain it all.
He loves Steve more than he thought he could ever love someone. He loves Steve in a way that he always thought was made up for movies or songs or whatever. But it’s not. It’s so real.
He glances at Steve, heart skipping a beat at how beautiful Steve is and says, “I want a tattoo.”
“You’ve already got some.”
Eddie rolls onto his side, propping himself on an elbow. “I want a new one.”
“What of?”
“Your name.”
Steve snorts, disbelieving, then he looks at Eddie. His brows raise. “You’re serious.”
It’s not a question, but Eddie nods.
“But…” Steve presses his lips together. Eddie waits for some kind of protest—it’s too risky, other people will see, will know—but when it comes, it’s not what he expected. Because Steve says, “It’s forever,” with an undercurrent of uncertainty that makes Eddie’s chest ache.
“So are you,” Eddie says, poking Steve in the side.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Steve smiles, looking as loved as Eddie feels; he tucks his hands behind his head and says, “Maybe I should get one too.”
Eddie’s heart leaps. “Of your name?”
“Oh, yeah, totally.” Steve shakes his head. “Of your name, you dork.”
“That,” Eddie says, clambering on top of Steve, straddling his thighs, “would be so hot.” He can’t believe he’s never considered the possibility of Steve with inked skin before, but now it fills his mind. Definitely hot. And that Steve’s first tattoo is going to be Eddie’s name… Fuck.
Steve reaches up, brushing Eddie’s hair out of his face. “You’re forever, too,” he says, a shared promise, and pulls Eddie down for a kiss.
#steddie#Steve x eddie#Steddie fic#Steddie fanfic#steve harrington#eddie munson#pizzaqueenfic#it hasn’t even been that long since I posted something but my stomach is all tied up in anxious knots rn lol
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What if I don't get any answers? What if I do?
#im sick to my stomach#anxious af and hate hate hate i have to wait til Friday to find out the various results#chronic illness#spoonie#my ramblings
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LIFE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL!!!! LIVE!!!!
"Au" yap below :D !! (And some colorin)
/funnily enough I know for sure Yael wouldn't have such a blow up about it, i bet he'd sigh like he always does and tell him he needs to grow up for real now and smile.
I think Tasuku would be so damn nervous he would be torn between being at Yael's cabin and being home with his family. He'd probably also blow up Towa's line constantly for reassurance that eventually Towa is like "okay just bring him up the shrine man I'll look at him."
He'd eventually tell his mother who would get angry because they aren't even married (and she wasn't aware of their intimacy), AND that Yael is out in the sticks alone. Fuka would be confused then happy.
Special wedding maybe? I like to also imagine that this is after the Underworld visit and if the coup didn't happen. Lol. But I think it would still piss off Gengan even more!!
I don't think they'd get married or anything (ofc technically they are due to the bond) because Yael would think it's a hassle and also mention they're bonded already. Tasuku and his family would really like to do it but also weighed how it would be seen versus their own feelings. So it might be a very, very private endeavor if they did it at all. Towa, ofc, would be present :)
And then finally, i think Yael would prefer staying at his cabin with the kid (i feel like they'd have a daughter lol) and once again, Tasuku and family would like them to move in. Again it's a hassle and he likes his own space, so he says no. Tasuku can't really square it with others about why there's a baby at their house, so he agrees to coming over to visit often (not too often bc it'll get annoying, though I like to image Yael quietly enjoys feeling crowded in with his family...)
Eventually of course, Tasuku will move in with Yael. This would be seen as him truly growing up and all that. They have just the one child because Yael doesn't want to feel like a breeding sow. But you know things happen. They may end up with another one :D//
OKAY OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH JGGJF i could literally talk about mpreg, babies, and family headcanons all damn day if you let me. Please let me. If you're if you're also off the mind khdjdnd i just think it's all so cute ( ◜‿◝ )♡
#I FINALLY OWN LKYT I FINISHED YAELS ROUTE. I HATE MY LIFE. I LOVE HIM#and tasuku too. even if he can't shut up!!! but i think it's cute and so does yael 😭#i needed something to draw to break up my hardcore emotions as of late and in order for me to commit it needed to be FA lol#so my woman recommended yael mpreg. and God bless it#stratatata#my art#lkyt.#yael lkyt.#tasuku lkyt#mpreg#but ofc not the fet kind#of which i have no problem with? but it's not for me zksvsb i just like to put men through the horrors. see how they like it#but it's also cute. i ALSO have a huge major psych problem with preg women that freaks me out and make me uncomfy so yknow#like it's almost a genuine phobia i think. i get so grossed out and anxious around them out makes me feel really bad but even typing this#make my stomach hurt sjebdb#<- waffle#anyway enjoy my normal mpreg#sfw mpreg
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i feel so numb i wish i could cry i’m really struggling to process this. this is devastating. i don’t care if that sounds dramatic at all. republicans are dangerous, hate-filled monsters who have literal shit for brains and they’ve gotten their wish for their beloved raging bigot to be in control of this country. i’ve had to get off the phone with my own mother, sobbing and in hysterics after screaming matches because her and a lot of my family have turned into people i don’t recognize anymore. my own family who i thought would always support a world where i was protected as a woman and where people no matter how they identify or look or where they come from could live peacefully, are quickly becoming strangers to me. i’m grieving people who are still alive. i’m not the only person who has experienced their own family and friends voting for someone who denies / despises their very existence and who has / will continue to hurt them immensely. what now? what’s going to happen to the department of education? how much stricter are abortion laws going to become? how many more pregnant women are going to die because they were denied the proper care in their state, all because of abortion laws? what about the safety of queer people? of trans people? of women of color? people of color in general? disabled people? children? the list goes on and on and on. what the fuck happens now.
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James talking about his first Emmy win for The Practice and how nervous he was—what would possess him to say this 😭😭
From a brand new upload of his full appearance on The Ellen Show in October 2004! It’s a fantastic interview, he shows up about 15:30 into the video
#ellen: you won your first emmy congrats!#jimbo: what if I fucking died on stage in front of everyone#the kissy he blows 😚😚😚#james spader#video#tv#he’s such an odd duck I adore him. I love the lesson he took from his father lolllll#he’s right I DO take pity on him I do want to care for him. I am charmed by his appeals to my vanity he got me….#yes he seems so strange and off-putting but a significant portion of that is being so anxious he is sick to his stomach half the time 😭
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just submitted my application for a job at the USA pavilion at the world's fair in Osaka next year. i'm gonna frow up.
#fallon rambles#anxious tummy my beloathed#this doesn't even feel real actually#now i just... wait. for idk how long. to find out if i made it past this first round of consideration.#i need to stop applying for things for a bit i'm now waiting to hear back abt two apps for big things#that are giving me Anxiety Stomach#khsdgkjshgkhdskg anyways
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Dude this sucks I’ve been soooo nauseous the past few days just because of anxiety :( I haven’t had it this bad in a really long time
#it’s almost as if it’s a stomach bug or something but it goes away after I get home from school#at least for a while#but I’m also just generally anxious about everything#I am doing very um bad
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had breakfast for the first time since smth like mid august. everyone have a beautiful day today
#rena.txt#it's nice to wake up without feeling so anxious you get tachicardia and end up bent on the sink as you throw up the nothingness in your#stomach as first thing in the morning. healing 🫶
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I am not a prismdani guy in the sense that I dont think that could ever have a happy ending even in theory without altering or disrespecting their characters in some essential way and i dont think a fully tragic and fucked up ending for a character like dani with no light at the end of the tunnel really suits cpuk's tone or themes in the grand scheme of things
but i am in the sense that i understand and am compelled by it in like a horror movie way.
In a 'dear god dani get the hell out of there' way.
In a 'hey that scene in orange looked almost like a date before the arm thing, (the most flagrantly horrifying red flag yet at that point and what made most of us fully turn on her after some hesitation about fully condemning her when she gave cobalt a crisis instead of advice and shoved folk and treuse around before the Kicker that was her killing crimson onstage) that, as a flashback, was immediately preceded by Crimson (literally a walking red flag that somethings deeply wrong in Prism's metaphorical house, Noone Really Acts Like That For No Reason,) asking what Prism's been doing and saying and followed within said flashback by Quadratic (Mr. Character Arc Revolves Around Healing From A Relationship With A Character He Goes On To Explicitly Compare Prism To) carefully soft-confronting Prism so as not to make a scene while checking in with Dani to make sure shes okay and to let Prism know he has his eyes on her and isnt afraid to bluntly and unambiguously leak information to the audience she wants to keep secret while theyre on camera so she better not pull any shit' way.
In a 'the butchest girl twitter can handle without getting scared and me, the sunshiney eccentric femme she serves and obeys onesidedly like a dog, her own character subsumed into an aesthetically cute complimentary nonthreatening opposition to mine :) (dani cannot bring herself to admit shes grown afraid of setting her off or disappointing her or disobeying and being made to feel that oppressive crush of obligation as Prism manipulates her, struggling to realize and process the idea that Prism is a threat to her because an Abuser™️ (as per popular cultural portrayal) is supposed to be an obviously evil physically threatening bastard mcbadguy not a 5'0" nothing bible camp counselor that uses pressure, guilt, information control and other such tactics to creep into your thoughts to rewire your behavior to her liking if you don't have the means to reject what she imposes on you.) look at us we share a character flaw we're foils arent we charming :)' kinda way.
#something something chris fleming something something you are a cruel woman who just happens to be small. you get the picture#abusers can look like anything. be anyone. as long as they have the power to abuse#that goes for abusive parents and abusive partners alike.#and especially goes for someone who knows how to control the narrative. and i dont even mean that in the meta way#i mean that in the way that if someone can control how others percieve you. then they can use others as pawns of their abuse.#and if you can manipulate the information people have.#you can change how they feel about something in ways that make them resistant to realizing theyve been mislead.#if you can push your victim to the edge. make them lash out. make them unpalatable. you can justify becoming the 'hero' to put them down.#sincerely i love prism precisely because she is so deeply disturbing and sinister as a character concept#danth confronting prism in ncct3 has shades of these vibes too#“ive seen dani's face when she comes home”#“i know how hurt she is”#“i thought it was just pressure”#“but now i fucking know! its YOU isnt it?”#augh.#ncct spoilers#mostly in the tags but yknow#cpuk spoilers#for the whole post tho. lol#like i said this compells me. so i would talk about this more. but for Reasons the subject puts a bit of an anxious pit in my stomach#but i was thinkin about it anyway. so here we are. lol
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Apologized to my boss about leaving and mentioned that I just don't really feel like I belong there and she got genuinely offended
#i did not realize that was going to make her mad#so now she's mad at me#thankfully I am at home now because I asked to leave early because my stomach is cramping#but after i asked i went and apologized and then out conversation just got bad#she said I should get help before I get another job if I felt that way#because i told her everyone had been supportive and welcoming which is partially a lie because I dont feel supported by everyone#but I said that they deserved someone that knew what they were doing and was comfortable answering phones and learning the programs#and she said that it would take like 6 months to get comfortable doing that#but i feel like everyone has their eyes on me when the phone is ringing and I don't answer#because I don't know what to say!!!!#Like i am anxious and I feel bad that I offended her but like#this is also just kind of confirming for me that I need to go#because if me sharing my feelings is offensive then I need a different environment#i just wish I hadn't said anything#dl
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haven't been active anywhere bc i've been recovering from being sick and this cough is lingering and i am so fatigued i can barely function and now my fourteen year old cat is experiencing maybe gastritis (again)(he has an incredibly sensitive digestive system these days) and the stress of the last week has me in chronic pain hell x2
and i'm so stressed about my cat (hank) i can't sleep so i'm just sleepless and sick and financially precarious and
#he is a part of my soul and i cannot bear how uncomfortable he is. and how hard i have been trying to say he will be okay.#i feel so sick to my stomach lmao#my luck is so chronically bad in every conceivable way and i am so anxious about impacting my loved ones lmaoooo lmao lmao#vent post i guess sorry!!! i am under a lot of stress
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