#anxiety in a relationship

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[positivelyqueer]

small relationship tip:

if you’ve got someone in your life who apologises for a lot, instead of constantly telling them that they don’t have to apologise for that thing, slip in a couple ‘thank you’s or other small compliments.

“I’m sorry I can’t talk about that right now.” -> “thanks for establishing a boundary.”

“sorry I won’t be home for dinner” -> “I’m glad you’re able to go out and spend time with friend/treat yourself/etc.”

“I’m sorry I vented so much” -> “thank you for trusting me with this.”

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

Heartbreaking: girl who wants nothing more than to cuddle forever can’t sit in the same position for more than 5 minutes

[thecosmoswhispers]

And I whisper to myself, I am safer alone.

Wasted, Marya Hornbacher / . / . / . / painting by Mladen Ilic / Paul Auster / Letters To Milena, Franz Kafka / Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys / The Departure Of The Train, Clarice Lispector / Beau Taplin

[royaltea000]

he could not control the class 😔

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Have you seen my little lad?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[thepeacefulgarden]

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai and his tantrums ~

"... Hmph. I hope you crash this car and we both die."

The moody brunet mutters under his breath as he looks out of the car window, his arms crossed over his chest, refusing to look at you. He was awfully cute whenever he did this, and oh so vexing at the same time. You learned to acclimate to this very early into your relationship with him.

"What? All I said was that I was going to be driving us, Osamu!"

Your laugh is light hearted as you focus on the road ahead, dismissing his whiny behavior for another one of his... Melodramatic performances, his co-workers once called it. He finally turns to glare at you, but a wicked glint in his narrowed eyes betrays him... You can tell he's more unserious than anything. Playful, even. And besides, he would never actually be upset with you, he just can't stop thinking up schemes to make you roll your eyes at him. Your smile alone makes his thoughts impure, shame on you!

"Yeah, well... I feel dehumanized! overlooked! neglected..." He feigns offense, sighing heavily as he slouches into the passenger seat. He places a bandaged arm over his face, groaning softly but still side eyeing you to check if you're looking at him or not.

"You do that all on your own, silly."

"Excuse me? I'm expressing my grievances and you're calling me silly? Oh, so that's what this is really about. You don't love me anymore! What a cruel beauty you are..."

He gasps, now burying his face into the crook of his elbow, pretending to weep as he mumbles incoherent nonsense about how much you mistreat him. In actuality, he was giddy as hell. You park the car, and turn to face him, a coy smile flashes on your lips.

"Nobody said anything about not loving you. Now, what can I do to fix this, Mm?"

He lifts his head up, suddenly composed and shrugging his shoulders as if nothing ever happened, speaking in a matter of fact voice that somehow deepened.

"Well, definitely don't let me drive. I don't even have a license. I'd kill us in an instant."

"... Then why argue about it?!"

"Because you look so beautiful when you're yelling at me. And you make me feel alive. Anddd, because I'm bored~"

He flashes you a cheeky grin, it's dreamy and sickening. His eyes twinkle with mischief as he leans over the seat and flicks away a stray hair from your face. Dazai then taps the tip of your nose, slowly dragging his finger down to your plush bottom lip, gently flipping it over to expose your teeth. The pad of his finger gently swirls against your canines, and finally, retreats... He knows there's a time and place for his worship prodding. His eyes travel back up to yours, and you can swear they look darker than usual. If only the Port Mafia could see what became of the Demon Prodigy... A new man reborn! A man who loves!

The rest of the day is spent with you indulging Dazai, something along the lines of 'reparations' is what he calls it. Only he knows how much it means to him that you can handle him during his calculated outbursts... or rather harmless tests to prove you won't leave him at the first sign of trouble. He needs you to be in it for the longhaul, just like he is. It's deceptive, but no one has to know! He just loves you and these are simply counter measures. You'd probably call him selfish, but as long as you call him at all, he doesn't give a shit. Because in the grand scheme of things, he really can't drive, and you two are inevitably endgame.

You're the ball, and he's your chain.

[rosatoons]

[stuckinapril]

I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling

[yrsonpurpose]

Alex & Henry ± Henry insulting Alex (affectionately)

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Feeling anxious or scared about answering the phone or having to make a phone call may also be a sign for feeling scared of being judged, being wrong or being abandoned/let down by others. It's like getting in touch all of a sudden with something unknown, something we can't control or predict and therefore we may want to try to avoid such uncomfortable situations. Phone calls, differently from text messages, ask us to react immediately and to perform without much time to think or process infos and words: this is what makes them scarier and more uncontrollable.

[demigods-posts]

call me crazy if you want. but i would love to see percy and sally go to therapy together. because these two have so much to unpack. the trauma. the codependency. the separation anxiety. the unspoken, pre-determined grief sally refuses to talk about. the unspoken, blood-coiling anger percy refuses to address. the potential is there. and i need it so badly.

[desultory-suggestions]

While seeking reassurance from a loved one is a wonderful thing, if you find yourself seeking it often this is a sign to start attempting your own reassurance. It’s ok to parrot what your loved ones have said to reassure you, even saying “X said that they’re not upset with me and they would tell me if there are.” It’s also good to practice from your own point of view, affirming or acknowledging your feelings through simple statements. Doing this doesn’t replace the need for external reassurance, but can help you build a solid foundation and give your loved ones some space between attempts to comfort you. While it can be difficult, it’s possible to balance internal and external support and create a healthier environment for everyone involved.

[aspen-charminghearts]

The Clingy GlassHeart Girlfriends:

[Middle of GlassHeart debate about neediness]

Red: I am not needy!

Chloe: . . .

Still Chloe: . . .

Absolutely still Chloe: . . .

Chloe, sighing: Red you are the definition of needy, you once woke me up in the middle of the night at 2:36 AM when we were CUDDLING and SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED to make sure we were still dating.

_Two Days Earlier_

Red sleeping during her midday nap:

Chloe, gently shaking her awake: Hey Red, could you please wake up love?

Red, sleepily: Hm? What is it Bluely?

Chloe a little jittery: Could you please get up and go with me to this social gathering with my friends, I’m feeling to anxious to go without you right now.

Red, still very sleepily staring at her: . . .

Chloe, pulling out the puppy eyes: Pleaseeeeeeee

Red waking up a bit more: Fine! Just 5 more minutes.

Chloe: But Red, I want you awake now!

Red: If you want time with me before you see your friends, cuddle with me or suffer. [Immediately falls back to sleep]