#another vent post

[starsofang]

you, who’s loved simon from the moment the two of you met.

simon, who needed more time to reciprocate.

you, who remained patient and kind until the end.

simon, who didn’t know he loved you back until he was staring at the picture displayed at your funeral, realizing that it was too late to tell you that he felt the same way.

[sokkas-therapist]

Learning quickly that common sense and common courtesy do not mean the same things to everyone

[antiocheanism]

was overthinking whether or not i should tag queued posts for days just because after i overdosed a supposed "friend" didn't even ask if i was okay for days and when i said that made me upset they used "you were posting like normal on tumblr" as an excuse and tried to make me feel unreasonable for feeling that way so now my mindset is basically that if i don't make it clear that im not online when im not or if i post happy things when im not happy it'll be used to hurt me. but like it literally doesn't matter. it's posts on the web. amazing what a bad enough relationship will do to your brain weeks/months/years after it ended. i don't usually see myself as particularly irrational or neurotic

[wernerwartzhog]

another vent post im sorry

i hate feeling jealousy/perceived rejection and i fucking hate myself for feeling it but it is so overpowering it feels like my chest is being hollowed out with a big spoon and like my heart is being put through a meat grinder and like someone is using my abdomen as a trampoline

and i feel so fucking deranged and irrational and horrible

i can't get rid of it no matter what it keeps coming back no matter what

i cannot fucking stand it

[sleeplessv0id]

maybe in another universe, I can ask for help when I need it.

[h0neyfreak]

…

[foxflowershrine]

hey, small psa:

fictives are just people. you wouldn't walk up to a person you saw on the news once while they're having dinner and say "holy shit guys it's Jimothy Cumwomble, great job on stopping that armed robbery, sorry your brother died in the process". that would be completely socially unacceptable - you'd be butting in on their life, overstepping not just their boundaries but basic social decency, and bringing up potentially traumatic life events. it's rude, infantilizing, and potentially directly harmful. so why would you do the same to a fictive just because you know, or think you know, their source?

and that's not to say "never bring up a fictive's source to them", plenty of fictives enjoy talking about their sources! but there's a little thing called tact. you can ask whether they're okay with talking about it, or join in on a conversation where they already are, even just a "hey if you don't mind could we chat about your source" would go a long way. but suddenly changing the topic to their source not just without warning but by singling them out as "weird" or "interesting" and saying things about their source that would never be appropriate to say to a singlet about their past is not cool.

TLDR, a fictive existing in a public space is not an excuse to single them out, put a spotlight on them, and bring up potentially traumatic parts of their history just because you think their source is neat. have a little common sense about timing and approach, or just let them exist in peace.

[pussysidon]

Living with a disability, especially a progressive or dynamic one is so fucking stressful. I don't know whether I'll be able to do things I can do now in a couple of years or even a couple of months. Maybe today I'm up and dancing but tomorrow I can barely leave my bed. I'm already grieving the things I know I won't be able to do in the future and it's so, so so so hard. The worst part is that there's nothing you can do but try to enjoy life right now and hope you can keep doing what you love

[petrichormore]

So I’m watching Ros’ pov and I’m taking notes because tr!Ros’ mindset interests me and I just want to point out a few things.

(Bad and Ros are my main realm povs btw, I have watched almost every single one of both of their streams, but Bad moreso than Ros. The following is about tr!characters obviously)

(THIS IS KIND OF LONG)

So Ros tells Pangi and Aimsey what happened with Sneeg and Lukey. She clearly doesn’t want to, she tries to avoid saying it. When she finally admits it, she severely downplays it - she describes it as Sneeg “tapping” Lukey on the head. She tries to make it seem like it’s not a big deal. She says that Foolish resolved the situation and that everything is fine. Neither of these things is correct, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s trying to deceive. She’s downplaying it for Pangi’s sake, and Bad used an advanced wartime technique known as lying to convince Foolish he had prevented war when he’d actually made everything worse - Foolish passed that mistaken belief onto Ros.

Pangi, and then later Ros, and then later twitter, immediately draw a parallel between this incident and Pangi killing Pili which happened the day before. Pangi is the first one to make the connection and it’s because he’s trying to be understanding. He’s trying not to get angry, he’s reminding himself that he hurt Ros in much the same way.

But there’s a difference in how Ros handled it versus how Pangi handled it. Pangi did not try to downplay his actions nearly as much as Ros does - he admits to killing Pili, he says he isn’t trying to justify his actions (he brings up Pili’s behavior towards him as his motivation but he doesn’t try and make the argument that yellow faction shouldn’t be upset by it) and he says he is sincerely sorry for putting Ros in a difficult position. Ros also apologizes, and I think this is where Ros (and twitter) is having a misunderstanding:

Pangi is obviously upset that Ros and Sneeg tried to kill Lukey, but him bringing up Pili proves that he understands he did the same and is trying to take that into account because he cares about Ros. Ros thinks it’s unfair - why can he can attack Pili but she can’t attack Lukey? But listening to the conversation, Pangi seems to be more upset because he thinks Ros is purposefully misleading him about the situation. She says Sneeg only delivered a warning which purposefully didn’t do lethal damage, and then Lukey (more accurately) tells him that no, it definitely could’ve killed him, Sneeg just missed - and Bad later confirms this (Lukey calls Sneeg incompetent for missing by the way, which is funny). I don’t think Ros is purposefully misleading him, though, I think it’s a combination of her not remembering the event perfectly and her clinging to any explanation that will put her faction in the best light possible, even if that explanation is shaky at best.

She also complains to Aimsey, after Aimsey (correctly) points out that Ros killing people will, in fact, lead to them disliking her. She responds by saying she only does it “once in a while” and that “there are people more evil and more full of hatred than her”

This is interesting because it’s… not actually a response to Aimsey’s statement. The argument here is… what? That Ros personally believes she is not evil and therefore Lukey and Pangi don’t have the right to hold her actions against her? That if someone kills for a reason that is ‘righteous’ (I’m coming back to this later), and if they do it less frequently than someone who kills for unrighteous reasons, that it’s different? Are they not both murderers? Ros evidently believes she deserves leeway in this category, from Pangi and Lukey anyway.

And the way she brings up this concept of people “more evil than her” in response to being told to accept that murdering people will stir up resentment. She is right, there are people more “evil” by most people’s definition of the word. People like Bad, who Ros seemingly implies Lukey is wrong not to hate more than her. But… Ros doesn’t hate Bad either. She is actually pretty unique in that respect, with the way she has always treated Bad with respect and kindness even as his kill count rose. She hates Owen, of course, but Owen has not caused nearly the same amount of damage that Bad has - to yellow faction or to the realm in general. Owen’s largest crime so far, that Ros is aware of, is that he’s been absolutely horrid to her. That’s not good, obviously, but if this was really about morality, if this was really about who’s evil and who’s good - then Ros should by all accounts be ranking Bad lower than Owen, and definitely lower than Lukey. Except Bad is her friend. Her friend that she calls evil and thinks deserves to die. But still, somehow, her friend?

So I think that’s where this interesting dissonance is coming in. Ros thinks of herself as good, of her actions as righteous. She wants the freedom to be “a little silly” and “hateful and evil, for once” like other murderers on the server are, but she doesn’t want to align with the ideology that allows them to behave that way so freely. She thinks of herself as separate from that nebulous, undefined Evil, which she and her faction are strictly Not. Except when they want to be, then it’s okay and everyone should accept it. Because at least they’re not Evil all the time. In Ros’ opinion, anyway.

Ros’ moral compass is tearing her apart, spinning in all different directions, pulled by a million different motivations - some of which crumble to stress and overwhelm under scrutiny. She has named the compass ‘Righteous’ and wherever it points must be the right direction. If Bad kills people (even yellow faction!) he is still a friend, but if Owen is cruel to her specifically he is not a friend, and he is worse than Bad the serial killer. Slowly, her compass breaks away from this ‘objective’ morality that she tried so hard to follow in the past, but she cannot bear the mental strain of this realization and so she ignores it. But even if she ignores it, others do not, so what is Ros to do? The yellow faction might reinforce her beliefs, but Owen is the one who claimed befriending people from outside factions is wrong and harmful, and he is Evil. So she reaches out to others, but they look at her compass’ name and they ask “are you sure?” and they don’t realize it will break her to realize she isn’t.

[starscreamingg]

Okay I'm so sleep deprived so pardon whatever this is but something that's got me FUCKED up about ai generated pictures songs writing is that it just fucking kills the ability to analyse for me because there's no fucking INTENTION behind it. Like why was this decision made why were these colours used what does that say about the work NOTHING because a bunch of programming took work that DID have intent and theme and purposeful choices and turned it into SLOP. Like I COULD analyse this but it doesn't MEAN anything it's EMPTY I want to EXPLODEEE

[dilamo]

I hate how people define good people. No, just cause a person didn't do anything obviously bad doesn't make them a good person. It's the good intention, good deeds, humane kindness towards oneself and others with strong values & boundaries and the will to do better; even if things get better or worse, that defines a good person.

[kodasea]

Transparent

[antiocheanism]

we don't have any money i'm too ill to even take in commissions anymore and the stress rashes are back. teehee ><

[fussystreetlight]

Antis, I think y'all need to understand some things:

Emotions = / = legality or morality

A crime is not a crime because it's "icky".

A crime is a crime because someone in some way got hurt. This is why something like thievery is illegal. This is why murder is illegal. This is the real reason why rape is illegal.

These crimes caused real people real emotional and physical distress.

A drawing/cartoon/written work can make someone sad or angry or squicked out, but that is NOT the same thing as being traumatized. Reading a bad book is not something that will affect your psyche for years to come and will possibly need therapy for. A real person is not being harmed, especially not the viewer/reader. You're not a victim, you're not standing up for victims, stop acting like it.

Also, sometimes: legality = / = morality and vice versa

It used to be legal to own slaves. It used to legal to treat black people like they weren't human. It used to be illegal for women to vote. It used to be illegal to be gay, and it still is in some places. It used to be legal to force people with disorders like anxiety and ADHD to go to horrible mental asylums where they were treated like animals. Today, in some places in America, abortion is illegal.

One more thing.

The way they got support for these things? The way they got the power and permission to do these things? The way they got people like you to let them do these things?

They claimed the people they wanted to attack weren't normal. That they weren't like you or me or the one saying this who is totally on your side, they definitely won't go after you the moment you do something they don't like or think you're a threat to them or you certainly weren't their next target anyway.

So when you say people aren't normal, that you only like normal things and those other things you don't like aren't normal so of course you're against them... You are repeating the parts of history that it's warning against.

[bob-soup]

I NEED the monster high community to learn the difference between "showing culture" and being orientalist/racist. The criticism of g3 Jinafire in comparison to g1 is driving me insane. I'm so sick of everyone saying they "erased her culture" because she isn't talking in a forced accent, wearing a sexualized Qipao, and having gold skin. I'm sorry, but your incorrect assumptions of a culture are not better representation. Just because YOU as a white person don't think g3 jinafire is "Chinese" enough, doesn't mean her culture was "erased." Maybe you just need to reconcile with the fact that you don't actually know this culture?

Idk about yall, but I personally trust Annalise Lao to design a doll based on Chinese culture more than a white woman who went on a brief vacation in China.

It's the same song and dance every g3 doll. "They erased her culture!!!" and it's a doll designed by a person actually from that culture instead of a random white designer full of stereotypes and inaccuracy.

[whereiamgoingisrightwhereiam]

He did it.

Trump has won.

(EDIT) Before I begin, it appears to be critical I say this. In no way, shape, or form do I support Genocide in any way, shape or form. What Benjamin Netanyahu is doing is despicable. It needs to end, and it needs to end soon

(EDIT) Please stop weaponizing my words as a way to prove Democrats are wrong. Or weapons my words. I merely wished to push a vent into the abyss. I am saddened by his Victory. Shame on you for weaponizing this post. I am very politically centralist.

(EDIT) Some of yall in the comments prove my point of ignorance. My points have unfortunately passed way over some heads.

(EDIT) To the conservatives who have weaponized this post. Why? You’ve already won.

To the people who voted against her in protest. Are you happy? Are you happy that millions of people are losing their rights?

There is a reason we put our plane mask on before our kids.

You have to save yourself before others.

Your protest, to save Gaza, has led to the dismantling of our democracy.

Protest in the streets. March and make it known. I HATE the war. I hate both sides of it (Hamas, Netanyahu’s regime)

Harris has NO ability to do ANYTHING relating to what is going on there. A simple Civics textbook can tell you that. But many can’t be bothered, and stay in an endless cycle of online algorithm.

But to dismantle your rights? To dismantle the rights of our queer, non-white, disabled friends? That’s too far. Worry about our own issues first. Your vote? It means nothing.

You have voted, in essence, for Russian Nuclear Weapons in Ukraine. You have voted for someone who has bragged about Sexual Assault. You have voted for someone who has made it clear that if you’re not cis, Straight, and aryan, you do not belong in our wonderfully diverse country

Incredibly bright young students will not be able to afford school. People who can solve major issues in our world. But anti-Netanyahu is more important? Yea. Sure

I did not like either candidate. In a heartbeat i will vote for Harris. Should the DNC have pushed a different, less left candidate? Absolutely

I am scared for what the future holds. The nuclear weapons.

Please stop using personal social media blogs for your research.

Thank you for reading this.

God bless you, the reader, god bless this country, and god please have mercy on us.