#another morning without a meltdown | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

foreingersgod · 9 months ago

Note

I LOVE THE FICS LATELY AND ALL THE TIME !!

one of them being the cc being obsessed with her gf , now i wanna see a kate martin being obsessed with her gf !!!

Always take rests !!!!

Work Song . KM

pairing: kate martin x reader

A/N: i’m not sure if anon wanted soft, tooth rotting obsession, but i yearn for sweetie pie kate so i hope it’s ok :’)

Boys workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burnin' heat?

kate was exhausted to say the least. practices, games…everything was really weighing down on her. she had so much on her plate all the time and it often got to be too much for her to handle. there was a lot of stress on her recently, being drafted and being the new girl on the team. she bared the overwhelming feeling of having to impress everyone, prove that she could handle it. and deep down she knew she could. kate was strong and smart and resilient, but her biggest fear was letting people down. letting you down.

that’s why, during times like this, she turned to you. her biggest supporter, her number one fan, her everything. you had been with her since the beginning. you were there for every meltdown and all the late nights spent in tears when kate felt like a failure. you were there for every loss and every win, there to clean up her nasty bruises and cuts. and now you were here to guide her through this huge change in her life. she wouldn’t be able to count on her fingers the amount of times you had truly saved her in the midst of all this. kate struggled with change, hated how she felt like she needed to start over with a whole new team and a whole new life. but you were there to remind her that nothing was going to change, you would still be with her every step of the way. all she needed was you, the most important thing in her life.

you were the reason she got up in the morning. you were the reason she kept pushing even when she felt like giving up. because she knew that at the end of the day, you’d be there with her, arms holding her tight to ground her. that you’d never leave her and, for that, she wanted to make you proud.

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love, I could barely eat

she was gone for the week, in another state for an away game. but a week was 7 days too long for kate, she couldn’t stand being away from you. she remembers the night before she left, how she was packing her things unwillingly as you made sure she had everything in her bag. you were trying so hard to get her excited, it was going to be one of her first games upon her pro-ball debut and you had assumed she’d be ecstatic. but instead she was sulking (typical kate), talking about how much she was going to miss you.

“i can’t believe you’re about to go live out your life long dream and you’re sitting here pouting” you teased. she knew you were right, and she really was quite excited, but the thought that you wouldn’t be there killed her.

normally you would attend like you always did, but you needed to take the week to focus on finishing up school. kate admired the way you prioritized your studies, but there were times like these in which she cursed your determination. all she wanted was to see you out there, amongst the crowd, cheering her on. a big ‘20’ plastered on your shirt to show your support and a gratifying smile on your face. you were her lucky charm, she would say. but now she here, far from home and missing her girl.

it was the night before the game and kate and the team had opted for a nice dinner out. something to hype everyone up and to boost morale…well that’s what she was told. but it did little to cheer her up and get her excited. she dreaded leaving her lonely hotel room, somewhat dim and weary without you there with her. it had been a long time since she stayed in a room without you. kate had to fight her own mind to attend dinner with the girls, just wanting to stay in and facetime you instead. nevertheless, she managed to get dressed up and make an appearance.

the entire night she was miserable, as expected. she wanted to join in on the conversations, talk about what her teammates were talking about. but she couldn’t help but feel sorry for herself. she was still jet lagged, tired, nervous, and definitely missing you. she couldn’t even eat her food because she couldn’t focus on anything else but the image of you. memories of your relationship flooded her mind as she messed with the food on her plate, all she wanted was to go back home.

not able to stand it anymore, she made some excuse about being sick so she could leave. she packed up the leftovers to bring back to her hotel room and bid everyone a good night. her time would be much better spent texting or calling you than feeling sorry for herself at the table.

finally, she made it back to her room. without a second thought she was changing her clothes and crawling into bed, pulling out her phone and pulling up your contact. she had no hesitation in clicking on the ‘facetime’ button.

the phone rang several times, making her worried that you had already gone to bed for the night. but, on the 4th ring, the call went through and your face appeared on the screen. it was a gorgeous sight, she thought, seeing you there. you had taken off your makeup already, pulled your hair back, and tucked yourself into your shared bed. oh how she longed to be in that bed right now. you had instantly smiled when you saw kate’s face, making her heart ache for you.

“hi baby!” you chimed.

and that’s all she needed to hear. all of her worries, doubts, all of her anxiety was out the window now. she had just wanted an ounce of your attention all day, and at last, she could relax finally having it.

There's nothin' sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once from the cherry tree

“what did you say?” kate whispered, so shocked that she could hardly speak.

tonight was not a usual one. you had come home upset and stressed out, the past few days you’d been struggling with your mental health. it wasn’t often that you had difficult days, but when you did, kate was at your side and ready to help you in whatever way you needed. but tonight you felt inconsolable.

with kate becoming more popular in the media with her upcoming career, there had been a lot of press coverage. you actually hadn’t had an issue with it, you were thrilled for her to see that she was getting so much attention. but with the praise and positivity online also came the negative parts as well. you had seen a few articles and instagram posts concerning yours and kate’s relationship. seeing your name in bold headlines caught your attention. it was a bunch of nonsense, really, some random person online blabbering about nothing. they were clearly bothered by the fact that you and kate were very much in love, writing about how ‘kate could find someone much better’ or how she ‘should be with someone in her own league’. you tried to remind yourself of how foolish that was, kate loved you deeply and wouldn’t ever think of leaving you for someone else. but, with your history of self image issues and mental health, it was hard to believe it yourself.

“i said,” you were both sat on the couch, thighs barely touching. tears streamed down your face as you had your head turned away from kate. you had seen another one of those damned articles earlier and it seemed to be your breaking point, sending you into a fit of sorrow “i said i don’t know why you’re still with me”

the statement had caught her quite off guard. how could you possibly think such a thing? had kate done something? were you suddenly falling out of love? her heart was shattering as she sat there, desperately trying to figure out what had gotten you upset.

“baby,” her hand found its way to your cheek, gently guiding your head to turn back to her. your eyes were red and your lashes damp as you locked eyes with her “how could you say that? i love you more than anything in the world-i don’t understand”

“i just…i’ve been seeing all of those posts about us, kate” sobs racked your body and you hiccuped to try and catch your breathe “i see all the things they say about us and i can’t help but feel like you deserve more than me”

she had known about those posts for some time now, since she saw you inspecting one the other day. it broke her knowing you were indulging in all the ridiculous things people were saying about your relationship.

“hey hey hey” she wrapped an arm around you, forcing you to move closer to her “i don’t want anyone but you, got it? you have no idea how fucking in love with you i am”

a scoff fell from your lips briefly before you shook your head. you wanted to believe her, but your mind was so convinced otherwise “you’re just saying that”

“well allow me to enlighten you then?” she prodded, wiping the tears from under yours eyes. with reluctance, you nodded.

“i have never loved someone so much in my life” she began “i don’t even know where to start because there’s so much i love about you that it would take forever to say it all. i love the way you love me. how you take care of me all the time without me having to ask. how you make me breakfast in bed and how you brush my hair before we fall asleep. i love how you send me pictures of cute things you see in the store when you should really only be getting groceries. i love that you cry during movies even if it’s supposed to be happy because it shows how deeply you love things. and i love that you always think of people, even though that sometimes means you forget to take care of yourself. but i love that too, i love that i get to be the person that shows you how much love you deserve. that i get to sit here on nights like these and tell you how wonderful you are. because it’s true. honey, you are the best thing that has every happened to me and i’d be fucking crazy to let you go”

she let out a deep sigh, having lost her breath from her confession. if she had anymore air in her, she’d still be rambling on and on. the two of you stared at each other for a faint moment, her blue eyes gleaming back at you. your bottom lip quivered as another tear rolled down your cheek, although this time, it was a cry of joy.

“kate martin,” you muttered, almost speechless “i love you so so much”

she just chuckled softly and smiled at you. she guided you into a much needed hug, feeling your head tuck itself underneath her chin and your arms fall over her shoulders.

“i love you a thousand times more”

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She'd give me toothaches just from kissin' me

it was dark outside already, signifying the late hours of the night. you weren’t sure what time it was, definitely late enough that you should be asleep. but instead you and kate were both still up.

the orangey glow from your bedside lamp illuminated your bodies, creating silhouettes on the bedroom wall. kate was laid against the bed, back against the headboard and head tilted back. you were hovering over her as you straddled her waist with legs on either side of her figure. your head dipped down to her exposed neck, lips connecting lazily to her supple skin. eager hands roamed her shoulders and down the sides of her torso. her hands did the same, anxious to touch you wherever she could.

this was another instance in which kate unfortunately had to be away from home for an extended period of time. like every other time, she thought about returning home to you every second that she was gone. she hated not being able to touch you, to feel you, to know that you were right by her side. you had also been yearning for her arrival and hated her absence just as much. so when she was on her way home, she knew she would be having her way with you that night, no matter how late it might be. it may have been well into the early hours of this morning at this point, but the need to be with each other was a far greater need than sleep.

when she stepped foot in that house, she was already dropping her bags at the door and ridding of her shoes. sock clad feet marched quietly up the stairs as she began imagining kissing you for the first time in over a week. she pushed the door to your room open ever so gently, taking in your inviting presence. you had been fighting sleep, she could tell. your eyes peeking through low eyelids, hair messy from laying against the pillows, your lips turned in a sloppy smile. what a sight for sore eyes.

she was tempted to tell you to go to sleep, to get some rest that she knew you needed. but you were already sitting up and crawling over to her side of the bed where she now stood. one of her oversized tshirts hung loosely on your body, your lacey panties emerging from the bottom. before she had the chance to do so much as greet you, your hands were gripping her shirt and tugging her into you. soft lips molded into hers as you frantically kissed her. she took it as a sign that you needed her just as much as she needed you. so she let herself indulge, slithering into bed with you. articles of clothing were discarded to floor. your shirt thrown over your shoulder, kate’s sweatpants and top banished to a pile next to the bed.

now you were here, idly making out, taking each other in as much as possible. one might think you hadn’t seen one another in years by the way you both were acting. your bare chests were pressed together, creating arousing friction. kate’s fingers dug into the soft skin of your ass where her fingernails left small indents. she was breathing heavily and groaning as you left dark purple marks along her collarbone and the tops of her breasts, a reminder of your devotion. her hands pressed deeper into you, guiding your hips in a smooth rhythm of grinding against her lap. the room felt hot from the breathy moans and content sighs.

once you decided you were done marking the skin of kate’s chest, you made your way back to her lips. both of you were too tired to do anything other than this, just needing to be close to each other. not that you needed much else, having her lips on yours was enough to keep you satisfied. it was like your lips were meant for hers. they fit so perfectly together, moved against yours in the most delicious way.

kate let out another moan as she felt your lips grace hers. the sensation sent shivers through her veins. kissing you had to be the best feeling in the world to her. sometimes she felt sorry for the rest of the world, because what a sad life it would be to not know what it would be like to kiss you. and at the same time she felt so damn lucky that it was her, and only her, that got to know what this felt like.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

No grave can hold my body down…

“i hope you know that i’m absolutely head over heels for you,” she said next to you “you do know that, right?”

you hummed in response, nose scrunching as you looked at her. the amount of guests at your wedding must have been well into the one hundreds, but right here in this moment, it was just the two of you.

underneath a sky full stars was the makeshift dance floor of your wedding venue, marbled tiles beneath your feet. twinkling lights lit up the quaint garden of your backyard that you and kate both decided would be the perfect place to hold your reception. it was the middle of your first dance as a married couple and it was the most perfect moment of your life. your dress swayed behind you in the breeze, hair cascading around your face elegantly. kate looked even more beautiful than she normally did, if that was even possible. both of her hands rested on your waist and your arms looped around her neck as you danced across the floor slowly. your wedding playlist sounded in the distance and your families were watching you with teary eyes, but you and kate were only focused on each other.

“i do,” you replied “i hope you know that i’m also madly in love with you”

“i do” she had repeated like she did during her declaration of intent at the ceremony. you would never forget the look on her face when she’d said it for the first time “i’m never going to get tired of this”

“of what? our first dance?” you laughed, head falling back briefly “hate to break it to you, babe, but i think it’s gonna have to end at some point”

she laughed too, shaking her head. she pulled you in closer as her eyes wandered over the features of your face.

“no” she grinned “of looking at you”

your face was already turning a bright shade of pink, you could feel it as you smiled, but you didn’t mind one bit. you let your arms fall from around her neck as you heard the song of your dance come to an end.

your hands traveled up to take her face in your hands, something you have done often, a small action of your love. they directed her face to drop down to your level. you got onto the tips of your toes to meet her half way, kissing her passionately like your life depended on it. both of you smiled into the kiss, hearing everyone around you cheer as your dance concluded.

and, god, did it feel good to be loved like this.

…I'll crawl home to her

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

A/N: i feel like this started out so good, but then i kinda fucked it up at the end, but i hope you all like it !!

#wcbb #wcbb x reader #iowa wbb #kate martin x reader #kate martin #las vegas aces #wnba #wnba imagine #wnba x reader #rpf x reader #wlw #wlw imagine #lesbian #lesbian imagine #foreingersgod #i love kate martin

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drewizz · 2 months ago

Text

THIRD TIME - 06. conundrum

pairing ꕀ rafe cameron x reader

WARNINGS. rise of toxic rafe..

WC. 1.9K

TAGLIST. open! comment or send in an ask

series masterlist. previous next

conundrum. (noun) an intricate and difficult problem

Rafe Cameron was never one to second-guess himself. At least, that’s what he liked to believe. But this morning, as he sat in his truck just a block from your house, the usual persona he carried felt.. wrong. Last night’s event played on a loop in his head – from the moment he touched your shoulder to the kitchen, and well, to the couch. (And the small talk in your room but he doesn’t want to think about that.)

He hated how much he seemed to want your attention, seemingly deprived of it; your presence was wanted. Needed. But more than that, it wasn’t even in his own control – which pissed him off.

It was your fault.

If you hadn’t been so… you. He wouldn’t have been sitting here, going mental in his truck for the past ten minutes. He pulled out of the spot and drove aimlessly, needing a place to just forget about you, and his confusing emotions. (As if it was going to work.)

While Rafe was in his truck near your block (which you were completely unaware of), you were trying your best to forget everything. Everything from last night was quite haunting and traumatizing, as it resurfaced when you woke up.

You woke up with a wince from a sharp feeling near your pelvic area. Too rough last night. Sighing, you registered that you had to forget at some point – so you spent the time doing every little thing possible. Hopefully, you could put aside the heavy feeling that had settled in your chest since the moment he left your house last night, but obviously: it didn’t work.

After a few moments of moping here and there, you decided to get ready to go to the cafe again. Partly hoping the serene place could keep you at bay from such loud thoughts, but also hoping that you could run into him again.

Meanwhile, about a good 20 minutes ago, Rafe found himself at the exact cafe before he even realized where he was headed. He stepped inside, his eyes scanning the room instinctively. Maybe you were there ordering or sitting down and already taking sips.

But obviously you weren't there. (You were busy muttering to yourself about the still-damp floor from last night’s piles of towels.)

The disappointment that followed made him scowl. What was he even doing here? Chasing after someone who he clearly mentioned he didn’t want to go further with? He ended up ordering a drink and sat at one of the corner tables, his long legs stretched out in front of him as he tapped his fingers impatiently against the cup.

Time was passing and his frustration grew. He hated waiting. If anything, people were supposed to wait for him. Not the other way around. He hated feeling like he was on the losing side of whatever game this was. (In your mind, he already lost.)

Heavily disappointed, he left the cafe with his now-cold drink in hand – climbing back into the truck and yelled at himself, punching the steering wheel. (It gained him a few staring eyes, so he yelled at them, too.) However, he didn’t drive away. He sat in his truck, hopeful that you would appear.

And indeed you did.

You arrived about a good five minutes after he had another truck meltdown in the parking lot. You ordered your usual coffee and found a seat by the window. (The one where he sat, but you wouldn’t know that.) The sunlight streaming through the glass was warm, but it did little to thaw the cold knot in your stomach.

You started to realize that you don't mind spending a day without his presence. It was back to silence. Peace. And much needed solitude. (Alas, note that this was a partial lie to yourself.)

But Rafe’s peace was disturbed. He saw you enter the cafe, book in hand and a smile to your face. Oh, that smile. He ignored it. He made it clear that he did not have any interest in you, but seeing you again was making his chest tighten with a mix of irritation and something he didn’t want to name.

Repetitively telling himself to leave, and that he didn’t need to see you, he couldn’t do much except to groan to himself and stay put in his truck.

But then he started getting angrily irritated. Fingers clenching the steering wheel tight, his toxic streak was soaring. Why were you able to be unaffected while he was stuck feeling like this?

You sat at the place for nearly an hour, flipping through the book you brought with you, but you weren’t really reading it. Your gaze wandered to the door occasionally, a flicker of something you wouldn’t admit to yourself, sparking every time it opened. You wanted to see him. Badly.

Eventually, you checked the time to see that you’d spent almost an hour in here, and left. Deciding a walk might help untangle the thoughts in your head, you walked forward with no particular destination in mind.

In the meantime, Rafe didn’t know why he waited until you were halfway down the block before he started his truck to follow you. His first thought was to get out of the truck and start a conversation with you once he saw you (finally) leave the cafe. But then his pettiness overcame him. So he wanted to see if you noticed him, if you cared enough to turn back.

You didn’t.

He ended up driving slowly and cautiously, his irritation building with every step. What were you even doing? (How you haven’t noticed his loud ass truck following you for the past three minutes, is the more important question.) Wandering around like you didn’t have a care in the world, like you haven’t been knowing that you were completely torturing him through levels of emotional pain? (You didn’t know.)

He almost called out to you but stopped himself. You wouldn’t want to hear what he had to say right now. And he understood you. Not really.

You stopped at the docks near your house again, sitting on one of the benches near a tree. You tilted your head back, letting the cool breeze wash over you with closed eyes. For a moment, you let yourself imagine a life where things were simpler – a life where things would’ve been different. Where you would’ve never met Rafe Cameron.

But the image of him kept creeping in, uninvited and unwelcome. Letting out a dramatic sigh, you kept your head back and eyes closed. You felt at ease, and this is what you wanted.

Rafe was watching you from across the street, openly leaning against his truck. He felt like an idiot (and a creep), just standing there. But he couldn’t really seem to walk away.

He hated how you made him feel last night – raw, exposed, like every part of that you touched felt so fictitious.

Reaching in his pocket to light a cigarette, he didn’t notice how you saw him after you got up from the bench to go back home. He’d forgotten that he was even there, until he looked up and his eyes stayed locked on yours across the street.

It pissed him off. You weren’t supposed to look this pretty. He hated how you made him feel. He hated you now.

The sharp sound of your voice cut through his thoughts, startling him.

“Rafe?”

His stomach twisted (in delight and resentment).

You were already crossing the street, approaching him and his truck. “What are you doing here?”

Rafe straightened, putting back his lighter and cigarette away, tossing it into the truck from the open window. “I could ask you the same thing.”

You stared at him incredulously, with your arms crossed. “I live near here.”

He snorted, a humorless sound. “Well good for you. But I didn't realize I needed an excuse to be here.”

“You do when you’re lurking in the street, staring at people like a creep,” you snapped.

“Staring at people?” He let out a harsh laugh, shaking his head. “Don’t flatter yourself, Y/N. I wasn’t looking for you.” (Cue the realization that there was not a single person at the docks this evening, so he looked like a pathetic liar. But you didn’t mention it.)

Your jaw tightened, the personal defiance sparking in your eyes. “Right. So it’s just a coincidence you’re here, watching me?”

“Believe what you want,” he shot back, his voice sharper than he intended with a slight croak to it. “But I wasn’t.”

“I will,” you said, stepping closer. “Because all you’ve ever done is prove me right about you.”

His smirk faltered, replaced by something colder. “Now, careful. I thought we already talked about knowing that you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about when it comes to me.”

“I know enough,” you countered, making sure to emphasize how your voice was laced with disdain. “I know you’re too petty and angry to deal with your own mess, so you make it everyone else’s problem. Like last night.”

He took a step forward, closing the gap between you in a heartbeat. “And you’re so perfect, aren’t you?” he hissed. “Always acting like you’re above it all. Well guess what, you’re not.”

Your breath hitched, but you didn’t back down. “At least I don’t waste my time going around trying to intimidate or fuck people into getting everything I want, just like you do.”

His eyes darkened, and for a moment, it seemed like he might snap. “You don’t know a single shit about me,” he growled. “But every single time, you act like you know shit.”

“Well I know enough to stay fucking away from you,” you fired back, voice heavy with restrained anger. You forgot that he was still Rafe Cameron. The infamous, ill-mannered boy in town.

“Then why don’t you?” he challenged, his tone venomous. “If I’m so toxic as you claim, why the fuck are you still talking to me?”

Your mouth opened, but no words came out. You weren’t even sure why you came over to talk to him in the first place. The air felt suffocating again, heavy with unspoken truths and lingering resentment.

Rafe’s gaze softened, just for a millisecond, but it was enough to make your chest tighten. He shook his head, as if trying to clear whatever thought had crossed his mind. “That’s what I thought,” he muttered, stepping back.

“You’re unbelievable,” you said, your voice quieter now but no less cutting.

“And you’re exhausting,” he snapped, climbing into his truck and slamming the door shut.

You stood frozen, watching as he started the engine. The roar of the truck engine echoed, but he didn’t drive off immediately. Instead, he rolled down the window, his expression unreadable.

“You think you’ve got me all figured out?” he said, his voice low but steady. “You don’t even know half of it. Was trying to find you to talk ‘bout last night, but I don’t even want to see your fucking face anymore.”

Before you could respond, he sped off, leaving you standing there with a storm of emotions you couldn’t untangle.

Anger, hurt, confusion – the undeniable pull you still felt toward him had dissipated. Leaving you only in disgust.

And as you turned back to walk home, you just couldn’t shake the feeling off.

You had officially gotten under his skin.

And he’d gotten under yours.

NOTE. yn GET UP 😞 someone save her.. anyways. tell me your thoughts!! love reading everyone's comments :') ch7 will have much angst.. be prepared soldiers

TAGS. @urbrunettebombshell @rafesfavouritegirl @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @percysley @wtfdudesblog @fratbrochrisgf @rrosiitas @powpowjinxlife @ltristessedureratoujours

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punkshort · 11 months ago

Note

i’m the anon who asked about the request! if you decide to do it, i’d absolutely wait forever😂 it’s very angsty tho, so the idea was for outbreak joel who doesn’t get the happy ending. reader who was head over heels in love coping with his death, maybe flashbacks to show the moments of reader seeing him die? idkidk the idea is very vague, sorry if it’s too sad!! if so maybe reader seeing him die was just a terrible nightmare & he’s there waking them up & helping them through a meltdown?

i’ve been craving for some emotional torture for wtv reason😭😭 thank you for even considering requests!🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

Thank you for this request! It's my first one, so I hope you enjoy it. Also, I had to take the out you gave me and make this a nightmare because I am a big ol' softie and I won't apologize for it, but I will apologize for taking so long to write it 😂

I hate when you're right

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: After a heated argument with Joel, you finally convince him into leaving Jackson so you could explore a store for new clothes, and what happens could change your life forever.

Warnings: major character (Joel) death - but it is just a nightmare - don't read if you think that will still upset you, angst, language, violence, descriptions of blood/gore/death scene

WC: 2.5K

dividers by the one and only @saradika-graphics

You knew it was childish. You knew it wasn't essential. But you also desperately wanted to feel more comfortable, and was that really such a crime? To want to feel like yourself again? To want to wear clothes that you liked? That fit you properly? Jackson was well stocked with essentials, clothes included, but the clothes the men picked up on patrol were... utilitarian, to say the least. They grabbed the biggest and the warmest clothes so that it afforded more people the opportunity to use them, but you were beginning to grow tired of tucking men's oversized shirts into your pants, the material bunching up at your waist and twisting around as you walked, constantly trying and failing to feel comfortable in your own skin.

You thought Joel would be more open to the idea of heading outside the walls on your day off. You even teased him with the promise of picking up some new underwear, but he didn't fall for it. He fought you tooth and nail the whole evening, his voice lifting over yours angrily to explain how there's been an influx of raiders the past few weeks, that everyone agreed to lay low until they passed through, not wanting to draw attention or pick any unwanted fights. But you persisted. You always did, and you eventually wore him down when you threatened to leave without him.

Why was it such a crime to want to feel comfortable? It was just two people, you could lay low and go unseen, no problem. You've done it countless times before.

You had hoped he would have gotten over it by morning, but you were wrong. He hardly made eye contact with you during breakfast, skirting expertly around you in your kitchen, mumbling under his breath as he sipped his coffee and only shooting you angry looks when your back was turned.

The air was crisp and the woods were peaceful. You thought that would surely turn his mood around. He always appreciated being out with nature, living off the land. As much as he loved living in Jackson, he couldn't deny that part of himself that felt useful, that felt a sense of accomplishment by surviving out in the wild.

"C'mon, are you really gonna act like this all day?" you teased as you held up another shirt against your body before determining it was the right size and then tossed it in a pile with the others.

He was standing at the storefront window with his arms crossed and his jaw clenched. "Don't know what you mean."

You rolled your eyes and looked around the store, spotting a table of underwear with a grin. You lightly skipped over and tossed to the side the pairs that looked far too dusty so you could look at the ones underneath. Clearing your throat, you held up a pair of bright red stain underwear. He turned around and you saw it: it was fast, he hid it well, but you still saw it. That all too familiar excited look in his eye.

"Don't you like them?" you asked with a playful pout. He furrowed his brow at you like he was annoyed, and maybe he was, but you still saw the heat beginning to crawl up his neck.

"They ain't practical."

You gave him a defeated sigh and strolled over to your pile of clothes, your fingertips daintily holding the undergarment out to him. "No? Then what are they?"

His eyes shifted from yours to the red material in your hand and you saw his throat work as he swallowed.

"Useless," he croaked, and you narrowed your eyes at him. You got a little closer, letting the soft fabric glide against the back of his hand when you dropped your arm to your side.

"Oh, yeah?" you said breathily, and you watched his eyelids flutter at your tone. "Then I guess it wouldn't matter if I brought them home and let you rip them off me."

He stepped forward, a growl emitting from his chest, low and deep, when at the exact same time, you both heard shouting outside the store. Swiveling both your heads towards the glass storefront, your blood ran cold when you saw six heavily armed men advancing towards you.

"Shit," he muttered, his arm pulling your shoulder down just in time to avoid the cascade of bullets that rained down upon you. You laid face down on the rough carpet, covering the back of your head with your eyes squeezed shut, waiting for the shooting to stop. Joel tugged on your arm and you opened your eyes in a panic.

"Follow me!" he shouted, army crawling towards the registers, and you dutifully followed behind, your heart racing wildly in your chest.

Once you made it, the counter offering some, but not much, safety, the both of you pulled out your guns and double checked your ammo.

"Alright, when they stop to reload-"

"I know," you said, cutting him off. You've both been in this situation before. You knew what to do.

Holding your rifle upright and against your chest, you breathed deep, trying to steady your hands until the bullets slowed and you heard more shouting. Joel nodded to you and you both sprung up from the floor, pulling your rifles against your bodies in sync and lining up your targets.

Patience is a virtue. The amount of ammunition they wasted on the two of you was laughable when you each caught one of them between the eyes, leaving four against two.

You thought you would be able to get another shot off but Joel tugged your arm and you slinked back to the floor as a shower of bullets rained over you once again.

"You good?" he asked, and you nodded, gasping for air. Your hands began to stabilize when the shock wore off. You were in the zone.

Pressing both your backs against the small counter, you remained calm and waited out your attackers. Glass shards tinkled and scattered behind you. Bullets pinged against the metal shelving, ricocheting into the drywall.

"Assault rifles for two people? Really?" you muttered, more so to yourself, but Joel heard you.

"Told you this was a bad fuckin' idea," he said angrily.

When there was another brief pause, he looked to you again and nodded. At the same time, you rose up and took aim, firing on your attackers once again. Joel made his shot, you didn't. Three down, three to go.

"Fuck," you grumbled, reloading your rifle even though you still had rounds left.

"Focus," he scolded.

The men sounded like they were getting closer. Their voices were louder. Clearer. The shots were deafening. You prayed they weren't inside the store, because you hadn't planned an exit strategy. Without warning, Joel stood up and fired a shot. You heard a man scream and then a loud thud. It sounded like the man was just on the other side of the counter.

"That's not the plan," you seethed at him when he dropped back down next to you.

"Didn't have a choice, he was 'bout to jump us," he sneered.

Two against two.

When the shots slowed down, you held your breath, looking at Joel from the corner of your eye. He held his palm up to you silently, signaling for you to stay where you were. You heard boots crunching slowly against glass and your heart leapt into your throat. They were in the store.

You shot Joel a panicked look but he just shook his head, focusing on their footsteps, calculating how far away they were.

"Come out now and no one gets hurt," a man's deep voice called out. He was close.

Joel clenched his jaw and flared his nostrils. You knew that look. It was the look of a man who was about to do something stupid. But before you could stop him, before you could reach out to him and hold him back, he stood up and took aim.

One shot. That was all you heard when Joel slumped to the floor next to you, clutching his stomach as dark red blood poured from the wound. Your eyes went wide and you saw red. Without thinking, you stood up and shot, taking one of the two men down with a yelp. The remaining raider ducked behind a display, and you dropped your rifle in favor of your handgun. Crouching low to the ground, you inched forward, careful of any broken glass that would give your position away. When you were on the other side of the display, you heard the man's labored breaths. He was scared. He was out of his element. And you had him right where you wanted him.

Silently tucking the gun in the back of your pants, you slid your hunting knife out from your ankle holster. You took a deep breath and lunged forward, driving the knife deep into the man's chest.

He dropped his gun and clutched weakly at your hands, but it was no use. His blood poured from the wound when you yanked your knife out with a grunt, and you watched as his hands slowly slid back down to his sides, his eyes still wide open and staring up at the ceiling.

You smirked, feeling victorious for only a moment before you remembered Joel. Dropping your knife, you rushed back to his side, only to find his face pale and his hands stained dark red.

"Joel!" you cried out, pressing your palms against the wound, hoping to slow the bleeding. His eyes drifted towards you, softening when he saw you were alive and unharmed. That you were going to make it.

Panic consumed you. Your heart was slamming against your ribs as you fumbled with your backpack, trying to find your first aid kit through the tears.

"I love you," he whispered, and you shook your head.

"Don't start with that, you're gonna be fine."

"Baby," he said weakly, and you choked back a sob.

"Hold on," you told him, still searching in your pack.

"Look at me," he said, and your hands stilled for a moment before you dragged your eyes back to him, your lower lip trembling as you took in his deteriorating state.

"I need to-" you began, but stopped to take in a shaky breath. "I need to patch you up and get you to the horses."

"No, you don't," he said softly, and more tears spilled from your eyes.

"Yes, I do. I gotta-"

"I ain't gonna make it, sweetheart," he slurred, and you could see by the amount of blood he was losing that he was right. But still, you pressed your palms against the gunshot wound, your fingers slipping through his thick and sticky blood.

"Don't say that. I can't do this without you," you whimpered, and closed your eyes for a brief moment. You felt his fingertips weakly grip your chin and you forced your eyes back open.

"Yes, you can," he said as firmly as he could. He was so pale and weak and it was making your stomach turn.

You shook your head, about to argue with him, but he stopped you.

"You keep goin', you hear me?" he said, and still, you shook your head from side to side, small sobs slipping past your lips. "Don't let this world win. You... go on and keep fightin'. Please. Be happy, baby. For me."

"No!" you cried out, spittle dripping from your lips now, mixing with your tears. "I won't! I-I can't!"

"You can," he repeated, and gave you a weak smile. "I'm ready, baby. It'll be okay."

You squeezed your eyes shut tight, the tears leaking out, hot and angry on your cheeks as you sobbed over him, clutching his hand in yours so tightly, like if you squeezed hard enough, you could give him your lifeforce. Give him your breath. But moments later, his grip weakened and when you opened your eyes, his head slumped to the side and his lifeless eyes stared off into the distance.

"Joel!" you screamed, sitting up in bed, drenched in sweat with tears still streaming down your face. You looked to your side, where he normally slept, but he wasn't there. Panic squeezed your throat, your chest fucking hurt, but you flung the blankets off you and ran towards the door. Still not hearing any sounds, you raced down the stairs, almost tripping in the process but you had a grip on the railing to keep you steady.

When your eyes finally landed on his familiar form stretched out on the couch, his back to you, you allowed yourself to breathe a sigh of relief.

Reality came back to you now. You had your fight about leaving Jackson, but he won and you slept apart. You never left. He never got shot. It was all just a horrible dream.

You stumbled over to the couch, your tears unstoppable, the nightmare too vivid, too real. Your trembling hands clutched his shoulder as you fell to your knees on the floor, shaking him awake.

"What?" he grumbled, clearly still pissed off about your fight.

"I'm sorry!" you sobbed loudly, and when he realized something was wrong, he whipped around to face you.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice still thick with sleep.

"I-I had-" you began, then you hiccupped, cutting yourself off. His face was etched with concern as he forced himself up and cupped your face.

"C'mon, talk to me," he urged, the fear in his eyes reflecting back to you as you looked at him, still not sure what was real and what wasn't.

"I had a nightmare," you finally managed to get out. "About our fight. That we... we went out like I wanted and-and-" you collapsed into another fit of sobs, your shoulders shaking violently.

"Hey, it's alright," he soothed, pulling you up and into his lap and rubbing your back. You pressed your tear stained face into his neck, inhaling deeply, grounding yourself. He was alive. He was here. Everything was fine.

"I'm sorry," you whimpered, your throat still tight but your tears were slowing down. "I'm sorry we fought. I don't wanna go out anymore. I don't need new clothes, it was stupid, I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay," he said, pulling you tightly against his chest, "I'm sorry we fought, too. I just wanna keep us safe."

"I know, you're right," you said, pulling back a bit and wiping your nose with the back of your hand. "Will you come back to bed?"

"Yeah," he replied with half a smirk. "'Course I'll come back to bed, baby. Don't cry, it's alright."

You let him lead you up the stairs and to your bedroom, your side of the bed still damp with sweat but it didn't bother you. Joel was safe and sound and in your arms and you didn't care if you had to wear a potato sack for the rest of your life, as long as you had Joel, nothing else mattered.

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#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel the last of us #pedro pascal #the last of us #the last of us game #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller angst #requests

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ithilien-writes · 8 days ago

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ficlet prompt: buck having a bad chronic pain day in his leg :)

thanks for the prompt! i had fun with this one 🥰

(to anyone reading: this was written really quickly and without much editing, so please take it in that spirit. i'm past the block that sparked the original call for prompts, but you can still always feel free to send me some more!!)

---

Rotten Work [Buck/Eddie (Buck & Chris), G, ~800 words]

Chris knows instinctively what kind of day it's going to be from almost the moment he wakes up. Or, at least from the moment he walks into the living room and sees Buck sprawled out on the couch.

Just a few months ago, it wouldn't have been an odd sight - Buck used to stay over on their couch all the time. And it's not that he doesn't stay over now; if anything, he stays over way more. He's just... not exactly been sleeping on the couch these days.

"Hey Buck," Chris calls out, keeping his voice soft even though he's pretty sure Buck's awake.

Sure enough, Buck stirs at the greeting, craning his neck up to look over at Chris, but without moving his body at all. So that's definitely sign number two.

"Hey bud," Buck greets him back, just as softly.

"Cuttlefish day?" Chris asks, even though he's almost positive he already knows the answer.

Buck manages a small smile back at him.

"Cuttlefish day," he confirms.

It was something they'd started when Chris was still pretty little. Honestly, Chris isn't sure that he even really remembers the day it started, except that he's heard the story from Dad. Apparently, on one of the first truly bad pain days he'd had after his mom died, Chris had been so overwhelmed by everything that he'd had a full sobbing meltdown, and he'd told his dad in between his little hiccuping cries that he didn't even want to be a person anymore.

"What do you want to be instead?" Dad had asked, holding Chris to his chest and rubbing his legs soothingly.

Which- apparently the question had been enough to distract Chris from his meltdown, finally getting him to stop crying as he thought about it with all the seriousness that an eight year-old could muster for such an important question. And then, on a huge aquarium kick at the time, he'd eventually decided he'd rather be a cuttlefish.

So now, in the years since it had become a kind of shorthand in their house for a bad pain day - initially for Chris, but eventually for Buck too.

So Chris simply nods at Buck's confirmation, before slipping back into the hallway to grab the TENS machine out of the closet, bringing it out to Buck who gives him another grateful smile in return. Then while Buck begins placing the electrodes along his bad leg, Chris heads into the kitchen to grab a coffee for Buck and a bowl of cereal for himself.

When Dad finally wakes up and joins them about an hour later, they've already finished breakfast and are well into a documentary on rubik's cube championships - which are apparently a thing? - and Buck's looking markedly more relaxed than he was at the start of the morning.

Dad ruffles Chris's hair as he walks by - which Chris tries to dodge, unsuccessfully - and then he leans down over the back of the couch to press a kiss into Buck's hairline.

"Cuttlefish day?" he asks, and Buck hums an affirmative, even as he tilts his head back to smile up at Dad with the same goofy, besotted grin he always has for him.

"Chris has been taking such good care of me though, I think I might actually be a person again before dinner," he tells Dad.

Dad looks over at Chris and catches his eye, his expression soft and appreciative.

"Well, I'm glad someone was taking care of you," he says after a moment, looking back down at Buck, "since I was apparently sleeping on the job."

He says it in a teasing tone, but also with a subtle undercurrent of actual annoyance that no one woke him up. Chris rolls his eyes.

Buck seems to pick up on it too.

"Well you can go get me another cup of coffee while you're up," he offers magnanimously, "if it would make you feel better."

Dad huffs out a laugh, but dutifully grabs Buck's mug from the coffee table before heading towards the kitchen.

Buck picks up the remote to unpause the documentary, but then looks over towards Chris instead.

"Hey," he says softly. "I meant that, you know. Thank you for taking care of me this morning. I really am feeling a lot better."

Chris shrugs. It's not like Buck hasn't been on the other side of enough of Chris's own cuttlefish days. It's nice to be able to return the favor, honestly.

He doesn't actually say that out loud though, for some reason. But he thinks maybe Buck understands anyway.

"Even if you're feeling better, maybe we could still order take out tonight?" he suggests instead, and Buck laughs.

"Yeah okay," he agrees easily. "I think I might be able to convince your dad on that one."

And when Dad comes back in a few moments later, tucking himself against Buck's side on the couch and handing him his coffee, it turns out it's not even all that hard of a sell.

#fic prompts #like-icarus-burns #buddie #buddie fic #911 abc #laura writes

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akirathedramaqueen · 7 months ago

Text

Only one person has the power to make Stolas cry

And I'll keep the intrigue just a little bit longer so you can try to guess for yourself and experience the kind of satisfaction I had once I pieced it all together. And, oh boy, did it click!

Okay, so today, after a rather passionate conversation with @tealvenetianmask about how fandom seems to perceive Stolas as overly emotional and soft demon, we started rummaging through all the scenes where Stolas actually cried. We were blown off by some revelations.

First note: it's actually not much. Our owl appears to be very sturdy and often bites back when attacked, rather than shutting down as one might expect.

Second note... Better let me show you. Let's walk through all the 'Stolas cries' scenes and see what is happening there, and answer the question, "What, or rather who, sets him off the rails?"

This is your last chance to place your bets and educated guesses. Because below are big clues, and, eventually, answer.

Circus

We follow up on Stolas shortly after the disastrous date at Ozzie's - arguably, a couple of hours later. He looks absolutely miserable. He has boozed himself to unconsciousness. His eyeliner is ruined from earlier tears. He groans, either from headache or emotional turmoil, grabs three Happy pills, and shoves them down his throat.

Whatever happened at this club ruined our bird, to the point he's looking for anything to avoid being alone with his thoughts.

Western Energy

One shed tear. That's all Stolas allows himself. That's what I am talking about when I claim he is actually very tough. He is being tortured, mutilated, and by this point, he has a pretty good understanding that his demise is likely inevitable.

And you know what he does in response? He talks back. He cuts through Striker's bullshit about royals taking everything from him and points out that his killer took a contract from a royal. He literally humiliates Striker with sex jokes and mocks his oversized dick on the statue ego. Figuratively, he spits death in its face.

The Full Moon

Stolas is destroyed.

This meeting was nerve-wracking even before it happened - all the preparation, insecurities, misunderstandings of the past, and lingering, terrifying questions (He loves me? He loves me not?).

It takes weeks to set everything in motion. He planned it meticulously. He scripted every word, every movement of his body, every subtle tone in his voice.

But he forgot that there was another party in this play. The party who was not given the script and is burdened with his own trauma. One shitty assumption, one poorly-thought-out action, and here it is - mockery, avoidance, a fight... and tears. His first meltdown he wasn't able to conceal.

His worst nighmares came true, or so he convinced himself. He loves me not.

Apology Tour

Our last stop on our 'we-love-being-tortured-by-crying-Stolas' tour is here.

The wound is still fresh, bleeding even, and here he comes, rubbing salt into it. Someone Stolas still desperately wants. Someone who was infinitely brash, rude, and aggressive just this morning. Someone who doubled down on statements that made Stolas believe this particular someone hates him.

That someone tries to talk. To explain. To apologize. Wonders how Stolas could actually care about him. Says the prince is better off without him.

Fuck... The prince came here to forget, to wipe that someone (okay, it's getting increasingly hard to pretend it's not obvious yet) from his memory, at least for the night, and he still won't let Stolas go.

He breaks into tears, crushed, reassured he can't have anyone who would hold him, who would say he is the only one, but recuperates shortly after - he was taught better than this.

Okay, are we ready for the shocker of the year?

It's Blitzø.

It was his date with Blitzø at Ozzie's, where he was ignored, humiliated, and was told that their relatioship was only about sex, and that he was the one who made it clear.

It was Blitzø turning down (or so he thought) his distress call, leading him to believe he was left alone to die.

It was Blitzø mocking his confession and assuming it was just a fucking roleplay.

Finally, it was Blitzø haunting him since that very morning and, albeit with better intentions, still hurting him beyond his abilities to recover.

The only person who tore his soul apart enough to break his inpenetrable mask - built up by decades of gritted teeth, restraint, and bravery - was the one he probably cares about the most.

It was not Octavia, whom he holds close to his heart but couldn’t allow to see him depressed. He had to be strong for her; he needed to raise and support her.

It was not Stella, whom he endured for years, yet did not satisfy her wish to see him whimper. He talked back, argued, ignored, and seethed. But he never gave in.

It was him. An imp who stole his grimoire and gave him the best time of his life, however sad that may sound.

Now, thanks for joining this drama in four acts. You may pull out your handkerchiefs and ugly cry right here, in your places. Don't hold it in.

Because I don't.

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legendary-69420 · 2 months ago

Text

☆o( F1 Grid Gone Wild : The Mystery of the Missing Driver )o☆

Genre: Humor, Friendship, Lighthearted F1 Fanfic Warnings: none I guess

a/n : This is part 5 of the series (You can also read it without reading any previous part). This is not the part of my story racing hearts but is another AU for my character. Hope you enjoy it. _________________________________________________

🏎️ Group Chat Name: "WHERE IS MARK???" 🏎️

[8:45 AM]

Carlos: Guys. Oscar: ? Lando: ? Yuki: What now. Carlos: Has anyone seen Mark? Max: No, why? Carlos: He’s not answering his phone. Charles: Maybe he’s sleeping, relax. Carlos: He’s not at home. Oscar: …what? Lando: ??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S NOT HOME. Yuki: NOT FUNNY, CARLOS.

[8:50 AM]

Carlos: I’m being serious. I went to his place this morning, and he’s not there. Oscar: Check Ferrari HQ? Carlos: Already did. Not there either. Yuki: Bro, what. Lando: STOP PLAYING, THIS ISN’T FUNNY. Max: His car keys are still in his apartment?? Carlos: Yup. Yuki: Ok, nah, this is feeling illegal. Oscar: He wouldn’t just leave without telling anyone, right? Carlos: He always leaves a text. Always. Max: Okay. Breathe. Where did you last see him? Carlos: Last night in the drivers' lounge. Lando: We were all there last night. Charles: We all argued with him last night. Max: Oh sh— Yuki: …oh. Oscar: Did we push him too far? Carlos: No, no, Mark’s not like that. Lando: Bro was PISSED last night. Oscar: We ALL made fun of him. Yuki: He called us “a circus of overpaid clowns” and stormed off. Max: And then Lando said “Take your main character complex somewhere else” 😭😭😭 Lando: OKAY BUT I DIDN'T MEAN IT 😭😭😭

[9:00 AM]

Charles: I’m going to the track. Carlos: He’s not there, I already checked. Charles: CHECK AGAIN. Oscar: …Charles? Lando: ?? Max: Bro is already in his car. Carlos: He’s going 200 km/h, guaranteed. Yuki: Ferrari finally moving fast for once. Max: 💀💀💀

[9:10 AM]

Oscar: What if he’s hurt. Yuki: Don’t say that. Carlos: What if he’s with… Rico Levian. Lando: 😳 Yuki: …NOT THE SUPER MODEL. Max: THIS IS NOT THE TIME, CARLOS. Oscar: If he’s with Rico, I’m leaving this chat. Yuki: SAME. Charles: HE’S NOT WITH RICO. Carlos: You sound real sure about that, huh? Max: How do YOU know, Charles? Lando: Sounds like somebody’s jealous. Charles: Shut up.

[9:30 AM]

Carlos: I’m calling his parents. Yuki: NO, DON'T DO THAT. Oscar: His mom will freak out. Lando: Isabella Spencer will have the WHOLE GRID in cuffs. Max: We’ll be on the evening news: “F1 Drivers responsible for rookie disappearance.” Yuki: Charles will get blamed first, 100%. Carlos: True. Charles: SHUT. UP.

[10:00 AM]

Charles: I CAN’T FIND HIM. Lando: 😭😭😭 Max: Ok ok, think, think. Where would he go? Carlos: He’s not at the track. Not at home. Not at HQ. His car is at home. Oscar: He doesn’t like clubs, so he’s not out partying. Yuki: He wouldn’t just disappear like that. Charles: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. Lando: 😳 Oscar: 😳 Yuki: 😳 Carlos: …Charles? Charles: You ALL were picking on him. ALL OF YOU. Max: 💀 Bro, YOU were laughing too. Charles: I WASN’T MEAN. Carlos: You called him “Drama King in Monaco” and said, “Go ahead, storm off, nobody’s chasing you.” Lando: "Nobody's chasing you" HAHAHA Charles: STOP LAUGHING. THIS ISN’T FUNNY. Carlos: HE’S LITERALLY GONE AND YOU’RE HAVING A MELTDOWN. Charles: YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE??? Charles: I CAN’T LOSE HIM. I CAN’T LOSE HIM. Yuki: 😳 Oscar: …uh. Lando: "Lose him" ??? Max: EXCUSE ME?? Carlos: WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT "LOSING" HIM? Yuki: Charles, are you… are you good? Charles: SHUT UP.

[10:30 AM]

Charles: I’m calling the police. Carlos: NO, NO, NO. Max: Bro, NO. Oscar: STOP. Yuki: WE CANNOT HAVE THE POLICE AT FERRARI HQ. Carlos: DO YOU WANT THIS ON TMZ?! Max: I CAN ALREADY SEE THE HEADLINES: "F1 Drivers Can’t Keep Track of Their Teammate.” Oscar: "Ferrari loses another one." Lando: "Mark Spencer, gone but not forgotten." Charles: YOU ARE ALL USELESS. Yuki: Says the guy about to call Interpol.

[10:45 AM]

Mark: ??? Mark: WTF HAPPENED HERE???!?!? Lando: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH Carlos: AIN’T NO WAY. Oscar: THIS BETTER BE A GHOST. Max: WHERE ARE YOU. Yuki: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. Mark: Sleeping, bro?? Lando: SLEEPING WHERE?? Max: ARE YOU OKAY?? Carlos: Do you know we were about to call Interpol??? Yuki: I ALREADY DRAFTED A MISSING PERSON POSTER. Oscar: DUDE, WE WERE ABOUT TO CALL YOUR MOM. Mark: Relax, I was in the driver's lounge. Lando: HUH??? Max: WHERE??? Mark: In the corner. I was sleeping in the beanbag chair. Carlos: YOU WERE IN THE ROOM WITH US THE WHOLE TIME???? Oscar: SIR. Yuki: WE WERE LITERALLY IN THAT ROOM. Lando: WE SAT IN THAT ROOM FOR TWO HOURS. Charles: No. No. No. No. No. Mark: Y’all are so loud, I put my phone on silent. Lando: WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. Carlos: YOU HAD CHARLES READY TO CALL INTERPOL. Oscar: YOU HAD CHARLES SAYING “I CAN’T LOSE HIM.” Max: YOU HAD US READY TO FIGHT RICO. Charles: I’m blocking you. Mark: Why are you mad 💀💀💀 Charles: I HATE YOU. Carlos: "I CAN’T LOSE HIM, I CAN’T LOSE HIM" Yuki: Bro was two seconds from writing a love letter. Oscar: I’m getting this printed on a hoodie. Lando: Nah, we’re making it the NEW CHAT NAME. 🏎️ Group Chat Name Changed to: "I Can't Lose Him 😭😭😭" 🏎️ Charles: DELETE THIS CHAT. Max: NEVER. Carlos: We are eternal. Oscar: LEGENDARY. Mark: Y’all need help.

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suugarbabe · 1 year ago

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You are SO amazing love, never let anyone tell you any different. I WILL fight them 😤

Tysm for considering wolfstar!daughter, i think youd enjoy the current fics that are currently out for it. Most of them are x fred or george and it just reminds me of you everytime.

Sorry, this is probs going to be long 😬

For the prompt though, i imagine they came about reader when remus found her on a full moon as a toddler werewolf, abandond in the forest (last yr hogwarts or graduated doesnt matter, whatever you decide) and when Sirius finally finds Remus the next morning he's shocked, confused, and then melts. Big, tall, broard Remus has this small bundle of cuteness wrapped in his sweater trying to cuddle into him.

Whether youd like to continue on from there or do reader growing up or a time skip is up to you. Same as if James dies or not, whatever your brilliant mind decides 🧡 but if it helps this is how i see the family dynamic:

I think Sirius would be the overprotective kind of dad, never failing with that wonderful sense of dramatics!

While Remus is the calm voice of reason that talks himself down when he feels like he might be going a little overboard.

Of course we're Uncle Reggies little star, he will be mean to another child if they hurt you. He and James are constantly arguing over who's the better uncle.

James is the uncle that gives you alcohol illegally and doesnt adhere to a curfew.

So skip to hogwarts in some of the last years (im a ravenclaw so i always imagine reader as a ravenclaw but anyhouse would be fun to explore) and reader makes it official with Theo or Enzo. Harry's a tattle tale and tells his dad who then brags to Reggie, who the apparats him self the Sirius' to demand answers because "who was this vile thing that dared touch his star?? Boyfriend?!?! Fucking over his dead body!!" Fully expecting Sirius to agree with him. But he doesnt, he just sighs because at least they made it til 6th/7th yr before boys started, he'll give the poor boy a chance first. And then Remus bursts in and has a full meltdown. Thats his little wolf; his baby. She can have a boyfriend. A BOYFRIEND!?! He might puke. No this isnt allowed. Boys are gross. And nasty. And theyre going to hurt her. But not before he hurts them!! He's going to put the fear of godric into this boy! RIGHT NOW!! Wheres his wand? He needs to go to Hogwarts.

Its so unexpected that both Black brothers are frozen. Until Remus starts searching for his wand and Sirius has to calm him down while Regulus goads him on. And through all of it, reader and Enzo/Theo were standing at the door to 'meet the parents'.

And then however you want it to go from there love! So sorry that was soo long and rambely. Of couese no pressure to write it and take whatever creative liberties youd like!!

Thank you love x

The group had made an agreement that the girls would all get a flat together, as would the boys. So naturally Sirius, James and Remus planned and found one for themselves that was 'absolutely perfect' as Sirius put it since it back right up to a large patch of woods; 'Perfect for you, Moony'.

In the moment Remus had rolled his eyes, but truly he was thankful. By the last full moon of school, Remus had managed to transform back to himself without completely passing out. After the fourth full moon in the flat, Remus was able to still decently function after his transformations.

What neither Sirius nor James expected happened and they didn't know how to react initially. Sirius and James had lost sight of Remus toward the end of the night, now both transformed back to themselves looking for him.

When Sirius found him, he didn't expect the scene he walked upon. Remus shoulders were hunched over, and at first Sirius thought he was crying. But the closer he got, he realized it was not Remus making those noises, but...a child?

"Moony...what the bloody hell is that," Sirius voice was cautious, he was still convinced he might be hallucinating.

Remus turned around slowly, "She's like me, Pads. She...she was a tiny little wolf, I swear it." Sirius was skeptical, but the way Remus was looking down at you, every doubt was melting away. The way your tiny hands gripped on to Remus's sweater.

When Sirius got close enough, you reached out for him, and he was done for. When James caught up with the pair he had the same initial reaction. But like Sirius, one look at you and he was also convinced.

It had taken the girls no time to swoon after you, and the boys were forever grateful. While Remus declared himself your father (Sirius demanding his was Dad number 2). James became your fun uncle (funcle as he called himself, Lily rolling her eyes each time).

To say it had taken a village was not just a cliché, but reality. Sirius was every over protective father, having a flair for the dramatics any time anything happened, good or bad. Remus was more calm, essentially the voice of reason when Sirius was talking circles. You eventually became the perfect mix of the two, which they both loved.

When you got your Hogwarts letter Sirius threw a party, Remus thinking it was a little over the top but Sirius insisted, "Our little star got her letter, we're celebrating Moony." Regulus had brought you off to the side, insisting you owl him if anyone is mean to you, he'll come and fix it, "Even if it's another little twat kid, you let me know, okay Star?"

After fourth year, James let you try his beer for the first time. Sirius lost his mind, Remus reminded Sirius how much worse he was at your age and that if James was letting her try it that it was a better situation than he used to get in to.

What you didn't expect was the commotion that ensued during Christmas holiday seventh year. It was tradition for you and your dads to throw a party on Christmas Eve. You were putting the final touches on the Christmas biscuits you usually made when a loud pop sounded in the living room.

"SIRIUS GET YOUR ARSE IN HERE NOW!" The voice of Regulus rang throughout your house and you instantly froze. Sirius sauntered in, not bothered by his younger brothers tone, "Seriously, with the shouting Reg, what is it now?"

Regulus looked over Sirius shoulder at you in the kitchen before turning back to his brother, "How could you let her, huh? How could you let her do this, with a Slytherin no less? My little star? Who is this vile snake you've let touch our little girl, a boyfriend, Sirius, really?"

You held your breath, fully expecting your dad to lose it, go full on dramatics, but instead he just pinched the bridge of his nose, "Honestly, Reg, calm down. I'm surprised it took us till seventh year for her to finally decide to get a boyfriend, don't get me wrong, I'm thankful," he turned pointing at you, "but I trust her, Reg. And you should too. She's not like us. Really though, darling, a Slytherin?"

Sirius turned to face you and all you could muster was a shrug of your shoulders before your father burst in. "WHAT did I just hear? My wolf has a WHAT? With a WHO? Darling are you mad, who is this boy? A boyfriend? Oh my Godric, I think I'm going to be sick. Who is he, star? Who, tell me now. I'm getting my wand. Sirius, my wand now."

Remus held out his hand expectantly, but nothing happened. Both Regulus and Sirius stood frozen, mouths agape at Remus's reaction before a sly smirk crawled its way onto Sirius's features, "Oh my my, Moony, this is a sight."

At that moment the Potter's all appeared, the air obviously thick with tension. James looked between his friends, "Oi, what did we miss?"

When you saw Harry you were instantly enraged, your inherant traits from Sirius coming in to play, "You little fucking rat, you weasel, you knew I was going to tell them over break, how could you tell Reggie before I could tell my parents, I'll hex you Potter, I swear it!"

You started after Harry, only for James's strong arms to lift you up by the waist and hold you tight, "Woah there, mini Sirius, calm down. I think this might be my fault. Harry told me out of concern and I might have boasted about your feats to Reggie."

You went slump in your Uncle's grasp, "Uncle Jamie...how could you." You were pouting as he sat you down, giving you a tight hug, "I'm sorry, star, I was just so dang proud of you."

You looked over at your parents, Sirius now rubbing Remus's back who was pinching the bridge of his nose. There was a knock on the door, causing everyone's attention to switch towards the distrubance.

Walking towards the door, you looked back with your hand on the handle, "Be nice." The marauders and Harry held up their hands in defense, Regulus crossed his, "No promises."

When you opened the door, Enzo stood there, cheeks slightly pink. "Erm, are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" You laughed slightly out of embarrassment, "How much did you hear exactly?"

"Enough to know I'm more afraid of Professor Lupin than Sirius," he whispered as he followed you through the door.

"Dad, Father, this is Enzo. My boyfriend," You gestured toward Enzo who gave a shy wave.

Remus placed his hand on his own chest, "Oh thank god it's Berkshire. I was really worried, star dear. Really worried. Thought maybe it was going to be the Nott boy."

This caused both you and Enzo to laugh, Enzo speaking up finally, "Merlin, no, sir. Nott's afraid of Y/n actually. So you've done a good job."

"Don't start kissing ass just yet, Berkshire," Regulus stuck a finger out at the boy.

"Uncle Reggie. Behave," you scolded him like a child, he looked down at the floor like one, too.

Sirius stepped forward, extending his hand, "So sorry, my boy. I'm Sirius, Y/n's father. You've met Moony, erm, Professor Lupin, her dad. He's sorry for anything you may have heard through the door."

Enzo grabbed his hand, shaking it firmly, "It's alright, sir. It's a pleasure to meet the men who've raised such a strong woman." Enzo smiled at you affectionately, causing you to blush in front of your family.

"Look at that, Moons. Our little star is growing up," Sirius wiped a faked fear, while Remus was holding back real ones.

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose like your dad had done earlier, "Alright, who's hungry, hmm? Shall we eat?" You led Enzo towards the large table. Everyone followed suit, both Regulus and Remus grumbling slightly.

As you sat down, Enzo gave your thigh a squeeze. He leaned over and whispered in your ear, "Star, huh? That's cute." You side-eyed him, giving him a slight glare, "You tell anyone, you're a dead man."

Enzo grinned to himself, "It'd be an honor to die by your hands, love."

Across the table, Sirius gave Remus's thigh a squeeze, "She's growing up, Moons. Our little star." Remus nodded, pouring himself some brandy, "That she is, Pads. Our little wolf is a woman now." Sirius scoffed, "She still needs us though right?" Remus nodded, smiling, "We'll always be there for her."

#wolfstar!reader #enzo berkshire x reader #enzo berkshire x you #dad!remus lupin #dad!sirius black #harry potter #uncle!james potter #enzo berkshire fluff #golden era

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elizabethsnuts · 1 month ago

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Daughter!Reader with Chameron anon here~ maybe them bringing their daughter to work with them for some reason? Toddler aged? Like, she refused to go to daycare or be babysat, because she didn't want to leave her parents, and she's just being adorable and clingy hehe

Work Day

Chameron x Daughter!Reader

Summary: Your refusal to go to daycare had ended in a trip to work with your parents.

———

Trying to get you to willingly be away from your parents was just about impossible. Chase and Cameron couldn’t try and drop you off at daycare without you screaming and crying, clinging to them and trying to run away from the teachers. Leaving you with a babysitter was no better, if you weren’t having a meltdown at the poor babysitter, you were hiding away from them and not coming out which had resulted in Chase and Cameron getting one too many phone calls from a distressed babysitter.

Today was no different, the usual dramatic screaming had commenced once Cameron tried to get you ready for daycare. You would not let your mama put your dress on. “Nooo! No, no, no!”

Cameron sighed, watching your tiny diapered frame wriggle away from the dress. “Y/N… honey, you have to get dressed, we gotta go to daycare.”

You shook your head again, stomping your tiny foot and pouting sadly. Though you couldn’t resist hugging your mama, your little arms wrapping around her tightly, she couldn’t put your dress on if you were clinging to her.

Cameron wasn’t mad, just exhausted, she was used to all of this and she knew there was no point in getting angry at you, nor did she really have the heart to do it. You were only a baby. She hugged you back, her hand gently rubbing up and down your back to soothe you. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Mama’s right here, okay? Everything’s fine.”

You just hugged your mama tighter, burying your face in her shoulder and sniffling. “No daycare…”

Cameron moved her fingers to gently run through your hair, coaxing you to lift your head up and look at her. “Why not, sweetheart? Don’t you want to go see all your friends? I bet they’re missing you.”

You grumbled softly, your head shaking side to side to express your distaste. “No daycare! Mummy an’ Daddy.”

Daycare was out of the picture, no babysitters were available last minute so the only option was to bring you to work with them, was it really that bad? House couldn’t call you a germ factory, you barely went to daycare. Chase stepped out of the elevator with Cameron, your tiny frame clinging to his leg as he walked.

Cameron let out an amused huff, looking down at you and then back to her husband. “Chase, you can just pick her up.”

Chase chuckled, ruffling your hair as you clung to him. “No! She’s my little koala girl. She’s trying to connect with Australia.”

Cameron rolled her eyes, a smirk appearing on her face. “Connecting to Australia? Seriously? The only reason she says Australian words is because you whisper them to her at night while she’s sleeping.”

Chase put his hands on his hips defensively, obviously not pleased with the accusation that was very much true. “I do not. She has the accent because she is Australian, she knows who’s better. That’s why she decided to arrive when we took a vacation there.”

You were still clinging to Chase’s leg like a koala, tiny arms and legs wrapped around it as he walked. Cameron raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. “Oh really?”

“Really.” Chase continued walking, well trying to at least, he had a little leg monster attached to him.

House immediately sighed dramatically when the three of you walked in. “Another family outing to work? Next, you’re going to bring her to the OR to observe.”

Cameron rolled her eyes, sitting down at the table and opening a patient file. “Good morning, House.”

Chase had tried to sit down but of course, you weren’t letting go of him. The only way he could get you off his leg was to let you cuddle against his chest. And everyone wondered why he called you his baby koala. You had seen House with a lollipop in his mouth and of course, you wanted one. You kept one hand on Chase’s chest while you leaned over to try and take the lollipop.

House moved the lollipop away from your reach, like a little kid who didn’t want to share his toys. “Work my clinic hours then we’ll talk.”

Cameron sighed, looking up from the file. “Don’t give her a sucker, it’s 9 am.”

You suddenly felt a lollipop be placed in your tiny hands, this was very exciting, and you immediately shoved it in your mouth, looking over to House. He liked to piss your parents off. “Lollie…”

Chase chuckled, gently tickling your tiny belly. “Yes, you do have a lollie… lucky girl.” Chase didn’t see the big deal about having a lollipop in the morning.

Foreman raised an eyebrow at Cameron and Chase, looking at you to them. “Why did you bring her here?”

Cameron huffed when House gave you the lollipop, deciding not to entertain her boss, she instead looked to Foreman. “No last-minute babysitters and daycare was a no-go.”

You immediately frowned when you heard daycare, you didn’t like that word and you always thought that they were going to send you to daycare when you heard them say it. “No…”

Chase quickly shushed you, pressing his lips to your head to soothe you. “It’s okay, Y/N. No daycare today, you get to stay with Mummy and Daddy. Promise, sweet girl.”

You did stay with your mummy and daddy all day, even letting you accompany them to the lab, even if they weren’t meant to but no one had to know. You might’ve been a nightmare to drop to daycare, and been hell to all babysitters but it was nice to spend the day with you, they didn’t want to part with you as much as you didn’t want to part with them.

#daughter!reader #allison cameron x daughter!reader #robert chase x daughter!reader #toddler!reader #allison cameron x toddler!reader #robert chase x toddler!reader #allison cameron #robert chase #house m.d.#house md

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voidofthevoidmv · 1 month ago

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Chapter 1: That’s How Friendships Start, Ya Know? (PT 1)

Momo Ayase woke up angry.

Now sure, it is common among young children to wake up “on the wrong side of the bed” or just plain grumpy for no apparent reason. But this was different, considering the fact that Momo Ayase had a pretty good reason to be mad, at least from her professional 8-year-old perspective.

She was mad at her Granny.

Maybe it was impulsive and irrational, but she was a 2nd grader for crying out loud! A girl like her could easily be described as nothing but a little ball of frustration, spite, and apple juice. And so, upon waking up that morning- Her decision was made.

Little Momo made it her sole mission to ignore her grandmother the best she could- So the old lady knows JUST how mad she was.

“Breakfast is on the stove kid.”

“HMPH!” Momo made sure to huff EXTRA loud, so it was obvious she really really was ignoring her. In fact, the little girl didn't even spare her grandmother a passing glance as she tilted her nose up into the air, eyebrows furrowed in a clear expression of indignation. Snatching up her nearby school bag- Which due note, looked rather large on herself- She leaned forward in front of the older senior once more, in hopes of REALLY garnering a reaction.

“HMMMMPH!!!”

Mouth pursed tightly, and her tiny hands a vice on her backpack straps- A flash of triumph pulsed through her little body awaiting her senior's reaction. She sure showed that old hack... Is what she thought-

-But the crude triumph fades quickly, as the older woman ignored her as well, her grandmas face stoic as she lights another cigarette and places it to her glossy lips. After a moment, the old lady lets out a puff of smoke and doesn't even bother to blow it in any other direction but Momos face- Causing the little girl to cough at the stench. But even so, Momo stood her ground.

“So that's how it is...” The elder murmurs, the cigarette firmly pinched between her teeth as she turns away from her granddaughter in order to eat her breakfast- There was no reaction. No apologies for tricking her. NOTHING. The old woman was clearly unfazed, much to Momo’s chagrin.

With a much more genuine red-faced huff, Momo turned swiftly away from the scene and stomped against wooden floors on her way over to the front door- Slamming her heels with a purpose, and practically SHOVING her little feet into her light up sneakers. She placed a hand on the doorknob before turning around to look at her grandparent again, who seemed to laze about without a care in the world.

Reaching a clear boiling point, the 2nd grader stomped one singular time more, eyes blazing with childlike fury as there was once again was no response- Before she clenched her rusty brown eyes tightly, removing the frustrated tears.

“AND I WON'T SAY SORRY!” Momo shouted loudly, face now extremely red and pudgy fingers on the doorknob- Twisting and wrenching the door open only to slam it once again as she exited the household.

Seiko Ayase only sighed. Who knew raising such a temperamental kid would be so hard...

Talk about a meltdown.

“Stupid! Stupid! She doesn't even CARE!”

The sounds of tall grass rippling through endless golden fields were lost to the 2nd grader as she practically plowed a new path into the hardened dirt road beneath her feet- Having already crossed past the threshold of her own residence and was now making her way rather fiercely to school.

The little girl was pretty steamed still, but her earlier temperament had faded a great amount, and now a portion of her frustration was replaced with the swirling feeling of uncertainly.

She had almost done it again- Raised her pointer to the crest of her head in ritual just as she had always done every day on the path to school- It was instinct at this point, and that as well made her mortified to no end.

Quick as a whip she wrenched her hand downwards again- Cheeks flush with indignance.

“Nooo... I'm BRAINWASHED now!”

It was all her grandmother's fault. She had tricked Momo into imagining the validity of this so-called ritual. But all its ever done was led to embarrassment, heartbreak, and a cramped-up arm.

She was so used to doing it, that now as she walked in stride the path she’s always walked before- The notion of NOT doing the ridiculous movement felt unnatural and wrong. How ridiculous was that? But she chose to ignore this feeling- In favor of the righteous fury she held instead.

Today, Momo now has no sort of “So-called” protection, arms held stiff to her sides as the soft countryside gradually began to meld into sharp buildings and city border smells. Her soft short brown hair curling behind her ears and bouncing with every step of the way.

Unfortunately, oftentimes when Momo Ayase is in the midst of her frustration- She tends to be a tad bit unobservant- Leading her to where she was now a few wrong turns later- Her angry feet having led her onto a new path- Unseen before.

It was a tunnel, all cold and dark and abandoned with danger tape and cones. Perhaps in the dark, the tunnel would seem a whole lot more spooky- But in the light of day it didn't seem so much of a threat….

CONT:

You can find the rest of chapter one part 1 on my ao3- https://archiveofourown.org/works/62113495

There’s only the one chapter so far but I hope to continue it some more cuz I think the idea is VERY silly trust- This is a fun AU trust- I have a lot of lore for it and plans for chapters that diverge from canon mwahaha-

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i-thirsty-boi · 1 year ago

Text

Platonic Yandere Metkayina Family X Human Child Reader Part 3

~Hey! I know this took me a while to do, but now that a new semester is started I actually have motivation to write consistently. So, I should be posting a bit more frequently now! Anyway, on a side note, I'm not sure if it was obvious, but Ronal isn't pregnant in this story. Mostly because I think it would be too challenging to write an infant into this storyline.

Masterlist

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3

CW: yandere behavior (platonic), protective behavior, near drowning, fall risk

-It had taken you about two more days to feel almost completely better. But your family was still babying you… a lot.

-And you were getting VERY frustrated with it.

-Sure, you liked all of the attention. However, you wanted to move around on your own now that you were feeling better, not be in a wrap!

It was just after breakfast, and your mom was trying to put you in the wrap to take you with her. And you were not having it. You were groaning and sinking to the floor to delay going into the wrap.

Ronal was kneeling on the ground in front of you, trying to get you into the wrap so she could take you with her, and was bewildered by how you were acting. She had never seen you act like this, granted she hadn’t known you very long either. But that wasn’t the point! The point was she didn’t know why you were so upset about the wrap, when you’ve never complained about it before.

-She tried one more time to pick you up and put you in the wrap. And you just dropped straight onto the floor and started crying. Loudly.

-Ronal just frowned and sat down fully in front of you, picking you up into her arms and rubbing your back to try to calm you down.

-You had thrown your head back already by the time she asked you what was wrong.

-You just gasped before spitting out that you didn’t wanna be in the wrap anymore since you felt better.

-As soon as Ronal heard this, the meltdown made sense. She untied the wrap from herself before fully picking you up to take you with her. Luckily, you were calming down by then and wrapped your arms around her neck.

-She turned to look at the rest of her family, who she had forgotten were there to witness that, and gave them a reassuring look before making her way to her healing tent. In the end, she wasn’t surprised that a small child would want to move around a lot more after recovering from an illness.

As she was walking, she looked down at you to see you fast asleep, and she just kissed your head while continuing on her way. She also felt your feet swinging against her sides, making her smile, but only a little bit.

It didn’t take her long to make it there, and set you down on what might as well be your personal cushion at that point. And she set down her human medicine bag and got out the thermometer, putting it in your mouth without disturbing you. And when she took it out, she was pleased and relieved to see it say 98, the correct temperature for you. She smiled and calmly sat by you and mixed together more balms and salves.

At one point a new mother of the clan came in to talk, and asked to set her baby on the cushion next to you, which Ronal allowed. And it was adorable to see an infant that was about half your size next to you. The woman commented on you not looking so bad anymore, and that she had heard you were sick and was glad you looked like you felt better.

-Ronal smiled and said that you definitely felt better, if the fit you threw to escape the wrap this morning had anything to say about it. She laughed with the other woman, who said her baby had done the same thing this morning as well.

-Although it wasn’t long until the infant woke up and started crying, waking you up as well. You were confused, but quickly woke up, and picked them up with you as you sat up. You rocked the both of you until the baby had calmed down.

-You looked to the side once they stopped crying to see your mother and another woman looking at you and the baby. They each had a very soft look on their face, which you figured was because of you calming down the baby.

-You looked back down at the baby again to see them staring up at you, then they reached up and put their hand on your face. You smiled at them before their mother took them from you and into her arms. Your mother doing the same with you.

-You looked up at her to see her smiling down at you, and you smiled back. Then, she got a weird, far off, look on her face. You just scrunched your nose at her and looked over as the mother and her baby were leaving.

-She was only loosely cradling you in her lap, so you rolled onto the ground in front of your mother and made your way over to grab your craft basket. Then you went and sat on your favorite cushion, which was next to where your mother did her healing duties daily.

Ronal had finally seemed to come out of her daze as you started weaving some shells into an anklet for yourself. She made her way over to her station and gathered the things she needed to make more of most of her healing pastes and salves, then sat down right next to your cushion. And the both of you worked on your separate activities for the better part of two hours.

By the time she looked at what you were doing, you were finishing up a second anklet for yourself. And once you truly finished it, you looked over at Ronal and asked her if she could put both of them on you. She, of course, said yes. Then gently grabbed your legs and tied each anklet securely, but not too tight, around each of your ankles. Once she was done, you got up and walked around in the hut, smiling at the shells clinking together as you walked.

-Ronal was watching you enjoy yourself with a small smile on her face, happy that you can create accessories that you enjoy.

-Though her thoughts were interrupted by Neytiri walking through the entrance of the hut. Ready to get more lessons of the metkayina way of life from Ronal.

-Neytiri had seen you, now, skipping around the hut. In your own little world. And she just lightly scowled at you. She knew you were a sweet little kid, but her opinion of humans in general dampened her reactions to you.

-She just quietly made her way over to Ronal and sat down to help her finish making the pastes and salves. Keeping a distrustful eye on you the entire time.

-The novelty eventually wore off for you and you went back over to your mother and plopped down in her lap. Looking over at the darker woman with curious eyes. Though you quickly looked away from the, almost, nasty look she gave you.

-You just settled against your mother and looked around the hut, and before you knew it, you were being carried out of the hut and slightly into the water before being set down.

-You knew she was going to be teaching the forest woman their way of life, and that included the breathing techniques they had already taught you.

You were gently set into the water next to your mother and started slowly swimming around the two women. Both women keeping watch over you. Your mother to make sure you were safe, and Neytiri because she didn’t trust you. And you were ignoring it to actually swim around like you wanted to.

Ronal had been teaching the breathing technique to Neytiri for a couple days at that point, and she had done well and just needed to push herself to stay under for longer. So, as soon as you dove under the surface of the water, Ronal had done the same with Neytiri.

She had been guiding her through the reefs under the water while also making sure she could still see you. They had been swimming and communicating in simple sign for about five minutes before she saw you swimming towards the surface to get some air. She made sure you made it there without issue and started diving back down again before she moved her attention back to the forest woman. Though instead of you going off on your own among the reef, you swam to her and wrapped your arms around her neck. She just turned and kissed your cheek before continuing to guide Neytiri around the reefs.

She just continued swimming while gently dragging you with her while trying to teach Neytiri. Though as soon as they had made it to a spot with a large amount of glowing coral, your favorite area to swim around in, you had let go of her and swam to gently touch the coral. Which glowed brighter at your touch, which is why it was your favorite.

-You had been entertaining yourself with the coral while your mother and the woman from the forest continued swimming around you.

-Though when you turned your back towards the coral to sign to your mother that you were going to swim to the surface, Neytiri was right in front of you swimming to the surface as well and accidentally pushed you into the coral behind you by your chest.

-You had the breath knocked out of you, and that made you inhale some water. Your chest hurt and you started panicking.

-You looked around for your mother and desperately gestured her to bring you to the surface. She noticed your panic right away and quickly grabbed you and rushed to the surface. Though you were just focusing on not giving in to the urge to cough.

-As soon as your head was above the water you began violently coughing up water. You had your head hanging over your mother’s shoulder as you coughed, your chest rattling from the force of them.

-You were clinging to your mother’s shoulders, and she was gently patting your back to help you get all the water out of your lungs. It had taken you about seven full minutes of coughing and gasping for breath before you winded down and slumped against your mom.

-You two had bolted to the surface, and a couple minutes into your coughing fit, Neytiri had surfaced. And her attention was immediately captured by your distress. Her ears perked and her pupils dilated. She may not like humans, but she was concerned for you. Especially as a mother herself.

-Though as soon as you completely stopped coughing, Ronal turned to Neytiri and let loose some scathing words for her about accidentally shoving you under the water. Though she did notice the darker woman’s ears droop down while being scolded.

-Once she was done talking and had calmed down, Neytiri came a bit closer to apologize and check if you were okay. You just glanced at her and nodded before drifting off to sleep in your mother’s arms.

-And after that, their session of lessons ended for that day. Both of the women made their way to the shore and went their separate ways for the day.

-Neytiri was sulking while making her way back to their marui, and Ronal was power walking to her own marui.

Once she got to her marui, she walked in and briefly set you in their sleeping space before tying the wrap on her and put you in it on her front, facing her. She began rubbing your back while walking around her home and gathering things to make a snack for you to eat once you woke up. Though as she was finishing putting the snack together for you, her older child Tsireya had walked into the marui.

She seemed to be confused about what her mother was doing in their marui at this time of day, and came closer to see her making some food with you actually in the wrap. She came up to her mother and put her hand on your back, concerned because of some rumbling happening in your chest as you breathed. She looked up at her mother’s face and got a look that said she’d get an explanation later.

Though it didn’t take you very long to wake up again, and immediately start coughing again. You didn’t even register the two women in your family fussing over you while you were in your small coughing fit. You were more focused on the small dribbles of water coming out of your mouth after being forced from your lungs. You stopped after only about two minutes, and pushed your cheek against the side of your mothers arm, verging on her shoulder. So, that must mean you were put in the wrap while you slept. You could only stare at the water, combined with spit, running down your mother’s arm. You then mumbled a ‘sorry’ as you laid against your mom's body.

-Ronal just shook her head and started rubbing your back again. Before taking the snack and walking over to sit down and start feeding you the food.

-She looked down at the water dripping down her arm, concerned about how much water is still in your lungs considering how much you coughed up so far.

-Meanwhile, Tsireya only had an idea of what had happened to you, but was very concerned nonetheless. Still lightly patting your back.

Both of them had sat down on the floor and took turns feeding you small bites of the cut up fruit Ronal got for you. You chewed them slowly, until they were all gone. And by the end you felt a lot better. You had started squirming a bit to get taken out of the wrap, which you were glad your mother didn’t hesitate to do that time. Though you still chose to sit in her lap and continue cuddling up to her.

Meanwhile Neytiri had made it to her family’s marui and had curled up on the ground and started sulkingly weaving a new top for her oldest daughter. And while she was doing that her mate had come in and sat down next to her after noticing her sullen mood. He waited a few moments waiting for her to talk, but sighed and asked what was wrong. Neytiri just heavily sighed and buried her head in her knees before saying that she had accidentally hurt the little human child earlier that day. Jake’s ears folded down a little bit and he asked how she had done that. So, she told him about the diving she had done that day, and how she had accidentally shoved the child into a wall of coral under the water. And how hard you had been coughing up water, and how Ronal had chewed her out for it.

Jake just winced as he saw his wife’s tail curl even more into her body and her ears curl down harshly. He just put a hand on her shoulder and assures her that as long as it was an accident and she apologizes to you, she shouldn’t worry too much about this situation.

She glances up at Jake while still resting her face on her knees to see if he was joking or not, and found the look in his eyes to be sincere. She sighed again and leaned against his chest as she said she would apologize again before dinner that evening. Jake smiled and kissed her head before saying that that was a great idea and would probably mean a lot to you.

-Meanwhile, you were getting coddled for the rest of the day, especially after your mom told your sister what had happened during the dive that day.

-And then they roped your dad and brother into it too.

-So now you were being babied like you were sick again. And it annoyed you so much.

-During the lunch your family had, you were sat on your brother’s lap and your sister insisted on feeding you your food. You had huffed and tried to grab your plate from her but quickly gave up.

-And after that your dad had picked you up and carried you with him while he went to teach Jake Sully. Who you waved at once you saw him. And he waved right back at you.

-You guys would just be wading in the shallow waters while Jake was learning more of the sign language from your dad. You weren’t really paying attention as you swam around both of their legs, deciding to cling to one of Jake’s legs after circling him a couple times.

-He just chuckled and lifted you above his head from under your armpits, and briefly threw you in the air above him, easily catching you as well.

-You gasped when he threw you, but quickly broke down in giggles when he caught you. You had never had someone do that to you, but you loved it. You immediately asked him to do it again, and maybe higher.

-He just kept smiling and prepared to throw you into the air again. But prepared to throw you higher by lowering you to his chest level in front of him before launching you up in the air. You laughed the whole way up, which was pretty high because of how light you were to him, and starfished out in the air while you were falling. Easily being caught again.

-But this time he brought you to his chest to hold you properly. He leaned closer to you and brought a hand up to whisper that Neytiri felt bad and was gonna apologize to you again later in the day. And you just smiled at him and copied his hand motion to whisper back that you already forgave her, because it was obviously an accident.

-He smiled at you again before noticing the mildly panicked and angry look on Tonowari’s face. He turned you around to face him and motioned like he was going to throw you.

-Tonowari rapidly got the hint and put his arms out in front of him to catch you. And this time Jake threw you in a big arc to your dad. You were laughing and clinging to his arms when he caught you. And he just had a relieved smile while turning to Jake and asking how he knew you would like that.

-Jake laughed and said most human children loved it. And that all of his children had loved it when they were small enough for it.

-Tonowari was curious and looked down at you sitting in the crook of one of his arms, and you were still smiling. But once you noticed that he was looking at you, you excitedly asked if he could throw you just as high. Maybe even higher.

-He nervously smiled before saying that he probably could, and gently brought you in front of him. Though he looked over at Jake and motioned him over to his side with his head. And he wanted to ask him how to do what he did.

-Jake said he could do some tiny tosses to get used to the motions before doing bigger throws. He then looked at you and said, “You wouldn’t mind that, right Y/N?” To which you vigorously nodded.

Tonowari sighed before lifting you up above his head and lightly tossing you up in the air a couple times to get the hang of it. He got more confident each time because of your delighted giggles. You caught your breath as he lowered you to be in front of him so he could throw you higher. And he did that a couple times as well, you being launched at least 10 feet up each time.

And it wasn’t long before he was very comfortable with the activity and prepared to throw you up as high as he felt comfortable with. You were being dangled at his thigh level before being absolutely launched into the air. You probably went almost 60 feet up since your dad put a lot of strength into it. You just heavily breathed with a huge smile and wide eyes while stalling in the air at the peak height.

Unfortunately, this is when your mother showed up at the shore beside the men. And she let out a panicked shriek when she saw you up so high in the air. Though she was left to stand there watching in horror as you started plummeting, in her point of view, towards the two men just standing there. She started rushing to be in range to catch you as she heard you laughing while falling, though she didn’t register it. She was a step away when you landed safely in her mate’s arms, though she collided with his side as you devolved into hysterical giggles. She also ended up knocking the four of you over into the water, though she had snatched you out of your dad’s arms and held you up above the water so you couldn’t accidentally inhale it again.

As soon as she sat up in the water she was checking you over for any injuries. Though you just continued laughing and hugged her neck as you told her about your new favorite activity. She barely noticed the two men sputtering as they also sat up in the water and looked over at the woman who was clutching you for dear life.

-She turned to the two of them and asked them why they had thought that was a good idea.

-Tonowari quickly defended himself by saying he wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t think he could catch you. And he pointed out that you loved it. Though he said that if he threw you that high in the future, and he will, that he would do it in an area with deep water that would break your fall and prevent you from getting hurt.

-She just blew air out of her nose before turning a sharp look to Jake.

-He put his hands up in front of him and said that he knew most human children loved that, and that his children had loved that as well. Plus, he taught Tonowari how to do it properly to make sure you were safe.

-She ended up shaking her head before saying that if you ever got hurt from them doing that, she would beat them.

-Both men winced and said they would with drooped ears and tucked tails. She was very intimidating, even with you perched at her ribcage.

-And with that, she said that it was time to prepare dinner, so they needed to come out of the water anyway. She had originally come to get them.

-They just watched her walk away with you before making eye contact and wincing again. And they just started silently walking to the shore.

-Though Ronal didn’t have a chance to calm down before Neytiri came up to her and asked to speak with you. She was about to hiss at the woman before you said okay and wiggled to be let down. Ronal just scowled before gently setting you down.

-You walked to be in front of the woman, and she kneeled down to be somewhat close to your height.

-She then briefly looked at Ronal before looking you in your eyes and very sincerely apologizing to you. Saying how it was an accident and she would never, ever want to hurt you. Plus, she was sorry for being distrustful of you, she was just wary of all humans at first.

-You blinked up at her before slowly hugging her around her neck. You then told her that you forgive her and that it was fine that she didn’t trust you at first, because you knew most humans on this planet were terrible.

-She was shocked that you hugged her, but she slowly wrapped her arms around you as well. And said thank you once you were done speaking.

-She gave you a last squeeze when she saw the impatient look the other woman was giving her. And watched you skip back over to Ronal and make grabby hands to be picked up.

-This time she parted ways with you two with a small smile. Making her way to her own children.

-You were resting your head on your mom’s shoulder while she was making her way to where her older children were waiting for her and her husband.

-Though she had to tell them that he would be a bit behind them as they were doing something reckless with you.

-Both of them were concerned hearing that and asked what their dad was doing with you that was so dangerous.

-Ronal just sighed and set you down before walking closer to her older children and telling them what she had seen. You, very high up in the air after being thrown by Tonowari. Ao’nung and Tsireya just gasped and made eye contact with each other.

-Though their attention was grabbed by their dad joining them, and you running up to him and asking to be tossed.

Tonowari saw the looks the rest of his family was giving him, but chose to ignore them. He lifted you up and held you up above him and tossed you a little bit up in the air a couple times in a row, almost bouncing you in the air. And you were just giggling before asking him to toss you higher. And he smiled before lowering you a little bit to give you some more air time, securely catching you each time. Though he set you down once he caught the sharp look his wife was giving him.

Though his other children were looking at the activity almost in wonder. They would never say it out loud, but it looked fun. They were almost jealous, but seeing you having fun was enough for them. Their attention was, once again, captured by the Sully family coming up and joining them. The other kids sat down around you and your siblings, who also just noticed that you sat down in front of them. And the adults went to help finish the dinner and bring it back to their children.

Though you took the opportunity to go up to Neteyam and reach up and ask if he can toss you. Neteyam just looked down at you before making eye contact with your siblings. They just shrugged, but you got frustrated and started slapping at his legs. He smiled and rolled his eyes before putting his hands under your arms and lightly throwing you as he stood up. You laughed as he easily caught you. But you grabbed his arms to ask how he knew how to do it right.

-Neteyam blinked down at you, before saying that his dad taught him when Tuk was born because he was trusted.

-Though your brother got pretty jealous and went over to tell him to teach him how to throw you.

-You got snatched into the arms of your brother and held out in front of him while he demanded Neteyam teach him how to do the throwing you thing properly.

-Though Ao’nung scowled when he was only told to throw you straight up, not in any other direction, and to practice the motion of catching you.

-So, he held you up how he had seen the other boy and his dad doing, and lightly tossed you into the air. Though he was thankful that you made it so easy to catch you each time, along with your joyful laughs.

-And he made the mistake of getting distracted when he had started tossing you up higher. He had seen the other forest boy, Lo’ak, sit down next to his sister Tsireya and briefly turned his head to scowl at him.

-Though in the time that his head was turned, you had started falling and were going down past his shoulders by the time he was paying attention again. Though as soon as he was catching you in a panic, you had almost hit the ground. And he had just managed to get a hold of you before your head hit the sand, and quickly brought you up to his chest to wait to see how you would react.

-But he breathed a sigh of relief that you didn’t start crying. You were just wide eyed, clutching him, and catching your breath. Though he insisted that no one told the adults, and got nods from everyone in return.

-And everyone breathed a sigh of relief once they were all situated somewhere and the adults came back with food for everyone.

-And you stayed on your brother’s lap as you were handed food, and were happily eating it on your own, with someone looking at you to check on you every once in a while.

-Though as you all were going to sleep that night, snuggled together, none of you could think that things would change how they did soon after that.

(To be continued)

Tags: @eywas-heir , @ratchetprime211 , @konniebon , @thehoneymushroomhealer , @tulipatheticee , @msluccapotato ,

#platonic yandere #awotw x child reader #awotw x reader #child reader #yandere #aonung #tonowari #ronal #tsireya

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capquinn · 1 month ago

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does bug ever have a hard time grasping the concept of why quinn leaves for a while for w certain anount of time when she was younger? does she ever cry about it? how does quinn deal with it?

Hmmm not really, no.

Bug is just the happiest, chillest little kid. She’s so independent and easygoing, not clingy at all, which makes the whole 'child of a hockey dad' thing work so smoothly for everyone, and because of that, she handles Quinn’s travel schedule incredibly well. It’s all she’s ever known, so for her, it’s just part of life. But just after her first birthday, the off season starts, and she has him home all summer long so when the season starts back up again, there’s a little adjustment period. She notices his absence more — not in a meltdown, tear-filled way, but in the small moments, like looking around for him when he’d normally be there or toddling over to the front door to check if he’s home yet. She misses him, of course, but she’s so secure and settled that it’s not a big upheaval.

Quinn is really intentional about it, though. It’s never just “daddy leaves, daddy comes back” — there’s structure and there’s love. He’s built the sweetest little routines with her, ones that make his comings and goings feel steady and full of love, so that they're never abrupt or jarring for her. The morning before he leaves, he always makes her favourite banana pancakes for breakfast, and while he’s on the road, he FaceTimes her every evening at the same time, without fail. It’s her moment to chatter away about her day, holding up her toys or showing off her newest drawing, and he listens like she’s the most important person in the world — because to him, she is.

I’ve written before about how Quinn sends flowers to reader and Bug whenever he’s on a roadie, a routine that started when she was just a tiny baby, and now that she’s gotten older, she anticipates their arrival, squealing with excitement every time there’s a knock at the door. She loves guessing what colour the flowers will be, and when they arrive, she’ll carry the bouquet around the house like it’s a prize, showing them off to anyone who’ll listen.

And when he comes home? That’s always a big moment. The second he walks through the door, she’s in his arms, wrapped in the biggest hug, kissing his cheeks a million times if that’s what she feels like doing. He makes a point to sit with her and ask her everything she’s been up to.

“Catch me up, Bug,” he’d say, grinning as she eagerly tells him about everything she did while he was away, letting her babble on about the smallest details.

These thoughtful gestures keep her world feeling steady, even when it shifts. For Bug, her little universe remains perfectly intact because Quinn makes sure of it. She knows what to expect, knows she’s always on his mind, and that certainty keeps her settled, her days full of joy and security. To anyone else, the chaos of a hockey season might seem disruptive, but for Bug, her daddy being on the road is just another part of life — one that makes perfect sense because he’s always found a way to show her that she’s loved.

#love love love dad!quinn x bug lore #dad!quinn #capquinn's writing

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sgiandubh · 9 months ago

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From barf bag to pity party

The whole 'Kick in the hornets' nest' involuntary series was started by this Anon, received by the de facto leader of the Disgruntled Tumblrettes yesterday evening (in Europe):

The next morning, another Anon chimed in, on the same page, with what prompted the First Kick: S has a child with 'a woman', but God forbid, not with C 🤣🤣🤣.

And then, one of their group felt the need (then the clearly irritated urge) to come back and comment on the above Anon. No less than 5 (five!) long and plethoric comments were written, prompting my Second and Third Kicks - as you all know, the woman practically begged for them.

I feel it's time to show some mercy and draw the line here.

This blog is read (and trusted) by many. Comments were received. Very interesting, matter-of-fact submissions, to say the least. You know: FACTS (🤣🤣🤣). People who have rich and full and loving lives, people who travel. People who don't even agree on many things, yet spontaneously concurred on what things very probably looked like, on that Palm Sunday morning.

Exhibit 1: Mom and Traveler #1 (a mom I am not - but I was a child, unbelievable as it might sound, and I absolutely confirm every single bit of it)

I am not yet ridden with dementia, and I remember very well waking everyone up at ungodly hours and refusing my mandatory afternoon siesta (a very bad habit we have in Southern Europe). I wish I would still have that same insane energy now. I also wish I would have kept my 3 year old fashion model food quirks - but that is another story.

However, I am a dog slave (not owner) and as such, I am taking Baby out for his short (but excruciating) morning routine at 7:30 AM. Come rain or shine. Beg him to finish his business with grace and dignity. He never listens. Labs are a charming, addictive handful and my Greek boy is no exception:

Exhibit 2: Mom and Traveler #2. Who happened to be in GLA on Palm Sunday, March 24, 2024 (for the thick people at the back!):

All that trip was abundantly documented on her own page. I am reasonably sure she might be reblogging this with her own pics from that day.

And now, for the real questions at stake:

Why make such an unbelievable fuss over an Anon with no pic, that I was reluctant to publish myself?

Why have a cosmic meltdown, in public nonetheless, if you do think this is such a pile of unbelievable nonsense crap? (*imagine the freakout in DMs, if this made the headlines!)

How many times has/have S (or C, or SC) been seen by Antis in GLA in similar postures, without a word being uttered in public?

Why would such an occurrence be An Event, outside of this (help me, I have no words) fandom?

Why insist with your crappy arguments, when it is plain to see you have got all your facts dreadfully wrong?

Why mention 'central Glasgow', when it is public lore (and included in Waypoints!) that S does not live there anymore? (* I blacked out the exact reference, which makes total sense - the least thing I would like to see happening is freaks like you stalking them)

One last time, you insist - comments 6 and 7 (wow, girl!):

First comment is a lie and if you read my Anon (and you know you all did and discussed it to oblivion) you'll have also read this:

Which part of 'he didn't approach' you don't get, in plain English, madam? I am lousy at drawing, but hey - for the cause (open in separate page, questionable humor included):

Second comment, I won't even get into it. God only knows what the hell you meant. I am Romanian and we tend to be a very sarcastic bunch - especially the Southerners.

You posted those at about 2:45 AM, local time (if you are, indeed, a Scot). That's 4:45 AM my time.

I am a lifelong sufferer of insomnia. You, madam, you are mad wae it, as they say in Glasgow.

Don't drink and post, seriously. It makes for a very #sorry hangover show.

And with this, I am done with you. All of you, in that corner. You showed me more than enough. You know there is substance to that Anon, despite the lack of a picture - hence the collective freakout.

From barf bag to pity party. Who knew?

[Later edit:] re-reading the sixth comment, I think she wants to imply it was the 'other child' - I was literally blind with sleep when I first saw it. Well, there is no evidence of whatever she is trying to explain (has she contacted The Climber? between midnight and 2 AM, local time?). Also, a 5 year old child is not a toddler anymore: kids are considered toddlers up to 3, only. That boy, as we all know (and I am sorry we do), has dark hair - where is the resemblance Anon noticed?

Desperate, grasping at straws, lying through her teeth and mad wae it, all the way.

@pamalissou, thanks for bringing us a third mom's POV in your reblog.

#fandom #shitshow

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furiousgoldfish · 3 months ago

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On effortless recovery (personal)

I've been slowly dealing with cptsd and osdd for the last 8 years, and while I've had to actively work on some stuff, other have just happened without my interference, or at least, without me knowing I did anything about it. I have not been to therapy; or rather, there's been several attempts that were not working, and I had to end them. For instance, I've had therapy with someone who showed next to no interest in my issues and kept minimizing and ignoring whatever I've been saying, and this was the only person who didn't try to institutionalize me.

I've had to actively work on osdd, and it's something I'm learning about, and understand more as I go, but I also get that osdd is making everything else much easier on me. For instance, lots of my memories and thoughts are being blocked from me, and contained in alters who are making sure that I'm not affected by it, that is a huge help. Lots of thoughts that would upset me if I thought about them, are completely out of my reach, and if I do try to think about them, my mind goes blank and I forgot what I was thinking about. That's a great help for issues like anxiety and spiraling; I used to drown in my own fears and worries; now I just can't remember any of it. It is slightly depressing that my own peace of mind requires that big amount of amnesia, but you know, having some peace is so nice I could never be anything less than grateful for it. Being able to maintain some semblance of peace feels like resiliency, it means I have a place of quiet where I can go back to, even when distressing things happen.

I'm having my chronic pain and chronic exhaustion ease away from me very slowly. I still get exhausted easily, and am tired way more often than a regular person, but I now rarely get days when I can't get out of bed, or have to sacrifice a whole week due to a flashback or a nightmare. I no longer get anxious about planning to do something a day or two ahead because I can count on having at least a basic amount of energy. I don't think I've done anything to create this, it was just happening over the years, on its own. It's also happening so slowly that I don't even feel the progress, I have to remember to look 3 or 5 years back and remember just how much time I've been spending in bed then, to realize that it's less now, that I can do multiple activities a day now. I know I'm extremely lucky to be recovering from this, because there are people who have a chronic condition that doesn't allow for recovery, and I am very grateful for every day I can move around.

Another thing that is much better is sleeping! I used to wake up feeling like I'm dying, overheated, stressed, anxious, sometimes even paralyzed in fear, and if not fear, then grief would hold me down and I would be too sad to move. Now I'm finding myself waking up thinking 'Oh I'm so well rested! I have the energy to tackle some chores' like I'm in an actual good mood. And it's like ??? what is going on, since when is this me. I've been dreaming of having mornings like this, and now I have them, and it just happened over time (8 years) I still only think about doing chores when I have energy, because I know it's the only time of day I'll have any energy, so if I wake up restful I will rush to do dishes, laundry, cleaning, cooking, and whatever else, because I know the energy will go away later and I will become a sad slob. But it's much better than waking up and having to take a few hours (or days) just to recover from sleeping. My sleeping schedule has been 8 hours all along, I somehow can't sleep over the 8 hour mark, and can't function if I sleep less than 7.

I will still sometimes have flashbacks and meltdowns if anything bad happens to me, but the recovery time from them has gone way down. It used to be weeks, months even, to recover from a single bad event. Now it's more like hours and days. It's still not very similar to what I think a regular person would have to deal with, but I love the progress very much! One thing that slips my mind is that I regularly forget how much worse things used to be. If I bounce back from something, I forget that in the past, this would ruin me for weeks, and I forget that this is progress and to take a minute to acknowledge that. I just take what I can and go. But it's good to look at it and see that life is a little easier.

Some anxiety has also withered away from me, because so much of my anxiety was due to inexperience. New problems that would appear in my life seemed unsolvable and catastrophic, because I never faced those problems before, didn't know how to solve it, didn't dare to ask for help, didn't have skills or knowledge to tackle any of them myself, and all of it felt like it would lead to my doom. After already having solved some of those problems multiple times, I'm at peace just because I know what to do now. I haven't done much asking for help to be honest, because I hate it, but in struggling to solve the problems myself (sometimes taking months and years to do so), I've gathered knowledge, skills and experience, and I now have a general idea of what to do in situations that reoccur, and also know what to expect, how long something will take, what type of action will resolve it. Just living and tackling things by myself, and succeeding, eases a lot of anxiety. There is a solution to everything, with sufficient knowledge, experience and skills.

A lot of stuff that's previously been bothering me to the level where I couldn't deal with it, can now be dealt with merely distracting myself from it. Which I think is very funny, because I used to consider all my time playing games or looking at funny videos 'procrastination', because I wasn't being productive right, I was just 'procrastinating' and delaying dealing with life. Now I value these activities specifically because they can save me from feeling miserable and sad. There's a warmth to looking at people being goofy, funny, interesting, entertaining, and taking joy in it, and reminding myself there's still a lot of good things in the world, there are good people, there is warmth, there is love, and I feel better after seeing it, regardless of how awful I felt before. Having my own thoughts redirected to something hopeful is making my days better, more stable. I think I'm just stopping myself from spiraling into hopelessness, by looking directly at hope and staying fixated on it for long enough. And it's something I didn't previously value as a real activity, because I didn't believe that making myself feel better while producing nothing, was a worthwhile pursuit.

Being safe from abuse for a long time managed to erode the feelings of guilt and shame I had in my own interests, thoughts and activities, and I've became unafraid of any failures. It is now very clear to me that failing is the only way towards learning and it's incredibly valuable. I'm shameless at starting new hobbies and activities and it does not bother me whatsoever when I do badly. Even failing at big stuff in my life, things that created actual damage to me, supplied me with knowledge I don't think I would otherwise gain, and I treasure it. I don't feel ashamed or like I've done anything wrong. I've been able to engage with my own curiosity about things and I'm now able to ask questions about anything, without feeling bad for 'not knowing already'.

I've also accepted that I'm bad at some stuff, and it doesn't mean anything much about me, we're all bad at something. Sometimes I'm bad at stuff, but enjoy doing them, so I still do them, fun gives it good value! And if I'm both bad at something and don't enjoy it, then I completely drop it, and feel okay knowing this just isn't for me. I remember when I used to believe I'm bad at everything, just because I was getting such horrid feedback on it, now it's almost funny. I like stuff I create even when I do them badly, because I remember how much fun I had doing it. If I want to do them better, I know I just need to keep practicing and it will happen. Nothing a human creates is shameful, especially if it's not causing any harm to anyone. We're made to create and it makes us happy.

I don't think I've done anything specific to create these changes, maybe some critical analysis of the past, and some willingness to consider my own happiness important and worthwhile. I think I spent so much time grieving that I've actually processed the most of it, so I'm no longer as overwhelmed by it as I was before. It's not like I'm no longer sad, I will start sobbing frequently and whenever I'm tired, I am automatically miserable. But it is no longer constant, suffocating feeling that follows me for every second of existence.

I haven't done anything to fix the sleeping or to ease the chronic pain, that was just time and being safe from abuse for a longer period. I wanted to write this specifically because I've been waking up feeling okay the last few days and that was a shock to experience, what a bliss to wake up and think 'I'm well rested'. Incredible life experience.

#recovery #trauma recovery #personal #healing over time #feeling better just being safe from abuse #what changed in 8 years #osdd #cptsd #trauma

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loopstagirl · 5 days ago

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Walk in the Park

For @febuwhump day 3: Pinned Down

Jeff paused and took a moment to look around. He smiled. It was a rare weekend where a) he wasn’t called into work, b) none of the boys had activities, c) none of the children were unwell, and d) the sun was shining. As soon as they’d seen the forecast that morning, both he and Lucy had known what they’d do today.

A picnic in the park, with all five of their boys.

It had been months since circumstances had let them do something like this. Between an unseasonably wet spring and various clubs, not to mention emergency meetings as Jeff’s fledgling business sprouted wings, there was always something on.

Now, though... Now, everything was perfect. They’d eaten with minimal squabbles over who got the last sausage roll and which flavour drink they wanted. Alan had started to get tired and Scott had declared he was taking his baby brother for a walk. Ten minutes later, a smug 13-year-old had returned with Alan asleep in the stroller. The toddler wouldn’t sleep for much longer, but it had stopped any meltdowns.

Virgil had seen some friends from school and run off to the play equipment with them. Thankfully, they’d picked a spot where both parents could see him without having to move. John was sprawled on the blanket, legs swinging in the air as he read, and Scott and Gordon were playing a version of catch the 5-year-old could keep up with.

Jeff caught Lucy’s eye. She was sitting next to John, leaning back on her palms, keeping an eye on Virgil but with a satisfied smile on her face. It only widened when she looked over at her husband. This was what their family was all about.

He grabbed a drink from the cooler, intending to sit next to her. All their children were entertaining themselves, which was a wonderful and rare experience. Before he could do so, however, a shout came from the playground. Jeff shielded his eyes with a hand as he looked that way, aware that Lucy had also straightened up.

He wasn’t sure what was happening to begin with. Perhaps a child had misjudged the monkey bars? There were plenty of parents milling around there. Then there was another shout – and it was a voice he recognised.

Lucy was already on her feet.

“Virgil.”

Jeff took a few steps closer, trying to see what was going on. Then he cursed under his breath, hoping that John didn’t hear him.

Some older boys, maybe Scott’s age, were trying to take over the playground. They were ignoring the little kids, but focused on the other boys there without their parents: Virgil and his friends. As Jeff watched, one of the older kids shoved a younger one, causing him to stumble into the other teenagers. They didn’t let him regain his balance though, pushing him again.

Lucy recognised the red tee before Jeff did. She took off, not quite a run, but a fast, angry walk that would get her there quicker than if Jeff sprinted. He took a step, then glanced at his remaining children. Scott was responsible, but he couldn’t leave him with John, Gordon and Alan. Still, he stayed on his feet, a few steps towards the playground, watching.

“Dad? Where’s Mom-,” Scott trailed off, standing next to him. He too squinted in the direction of the playground, just as Virgil hit the ground. “Virgil!”

Jeff only had time to grab Scott’s arm as the boy made to hurtle off.

“Your mom has got this, Scott.”

“That’s Tommy Higgins and his friends,” Scott snarled. “I warned them if they ever went near my brothers again...” His gaze flickered to John before back to the playground, and Jeff knew there was an untold story there for sure.

Scott tried to pull out of his dad’s hold and Jeff found himself tightening his grip to hold the boy back.

“I need you here, Flyboy.”

“No! I told him! If he dares-,”

“Your mom is almost there, Scotty. Virgil is okay.”

Indeed, the boy was getting back up. Lucy was almost at the gate now and Jeff knew the older teens were going to be fools if they tried anything now.

“Where’s Mama?” Gordon asked, appearing out of nowhere.

“She’s gone to help your brother.”

“I can help too!” Gordon looked as if he was all set to go dashing after Lucy.

“John? A hand, please?”

John looked up from his book and caught Gordon round the middle, pulling the suddenly-giggling child down to the blanket with him.

“Scott, calm down.”

“I’m not calming down! I told him he’d get what was coming to him if he ever went near them again.”

“Scott!”

Jeff couldn’t hold him. He wasn’t sure when Scott had suddenly sprouted but his little boy wasn’t so little anymore. In the type of move he hadn’t used since his Air Force days, he hooked his arms under Scott’s shoulders, pulling the boy back into him. Scott struggled, but even his new-found height was no match for this grip.

“Calm down,” Jeff said in his ear. “I know you’re upset; I know you’re mad. But your mom is handling it. It won’t help Virgil, or any of your brothers, if they see you answer violence with violence.”

Indeed, Jeff wasn’t entirely sure where this had come from. Scott had always been protective, but it appeared that all the emotions that came with being a young teenager meant he was trying to find a different outlet for those emotions. Jeff loved Scott’s protective nature, but he couldn’t let this continue.

Scott snarled. One day, that was going to be an impressive sound. But his voice hadn’t yet broken and it didn’t have the depth to it to be truly chilling. Jeff winced as a foot collided with his shin. While he didn’t necessarily remember being 13, he did remember being a teenager and the feeling that the world was out to get him.

He walked back a few steps, dragging Scott with him so that he was further away from his brothers. Carefully, he shifted their centre of gravity until he could drop to his knees, pulling Scott down with him. Then it was just a case of extending his legs, unhooking his arms and wrapping his son in a bear hug, keeping Scott’s arms trapped within his own.

“You need to calm down,” Jeff said in his ear. Scott twisted in the hold but his father’s grip was too strong.

“I have to help Virgil.”

“This is not the way, and you know it. You’ll only get yourself into trouble and either you or your brother could be hurt if you react like this. Is this what you want?”

Scott, mercifully, stopped struggling. He was still tense though and Jeff didn’t dare relax his grip.

“What about Gordon? Do you think this is any example to set your younger brother?”

He didn’t need to worry about John. He hadn’t copied Scott the way the others did for a while now and had his own way of handling things. Jeff knew his second born had a bad habit of trying to be invisible when the attention was on him, but he had an acid tongue if anyone tried to pick on his brothers – whether that was another child or a grownup. Jeff had been forced to apologise while trying not to laugh more than once.

“He’ll know that I’ll always defend him.”

“By getting into trouble yourself? That’s making the situation worse, and you know it.”

Jeff dared risk a glance at the playground. Lucy was heading back their way, their 8-year-old clutching her hand. Jeff couldn’t read Virgil’s expression from this distance, but he was walking fine, so at least he wasn’t physically hurt.

“Let me go!”

“Not a chance, kiddo.”

Jeff knew that Scott was fighting the hold, but he could barely feel his boy’s struggles as he held him down. It was only when Lucy came closer and they could see for themselves that although there were tear tracks down Virgil’s face, he’d already stopped crying and was smiling at something his mother had just said.

Jeff sighed in relief. Then Scott went limp. The father suddenly wondered how much Scott had been feeding off his own tension and grimaced. He could keep calm in a business meeting but apparently not so much when it came to someone hurting his children.

“Everything okay?” He called. He relaxed his grip but didn’t dare let Scott go. Not just yet.

“All handled,” Lucy said. She had a hand on Virgil’s shoulder but ruffled his hair and nudged him towards his brothers. Virgil didn’t hesitate, dropping down beside John and instantly finding himself with Gordon climbing on him.

“Get off,” he muttered, but he didn’t push Gordon away like he usually did and there was no conviction in his voice.

“I was gonna save you,” Gordon told him, his tone uncharacteristically serious.

“I didn’t need saving. Especially not from you.” Virgil wasn’t meeting Gordon’s eye.

“There’s nothing wrong with a helping hand,” Lucy told him, also sitting down. “Even if it comes in squid-form.” She seized Gordon round the middle and pulled him onto her lap, tickling him. Gordon laughed.

“Johnny, help!”

John – for once – joined in without hesitation. After a second, Virgil also piled in and Lucy disappeared under three laughing boys.

“You okay?” Jeff murmured in Scott’s ear. He softened his grip until he was hugging his boy. Scott didn’t let that happen very often these days and Jeff missed it.

He heard Scott swallow before the boy nodded. “Yeah.”

Gently, Jeff let go until Scott could sit up. His son looked at him, and it was a mixture of the man he’d one day be and the little boy he was trying so hard not to be.

“They know you’ll protect them,” Jeff said quietly. “But there’s a right and a wrong way of doing it. You understand that, right?”

Scott couldn’t meet his eyes but he nodded again. Jeff clapped him on the shoulder.

“Don’t get me wrong, Scotty, I’m proud of you for wanting to look out for them. But no getting into fights, or you’ll be the one in trouble.”

“Copy that,” Scott said. Jeff properly relaxed at hearing the words.

“Now, go on, I think your mom needs you right now,” he said. He nudged Scott towards the pile that was his wife and three kids. Scott didn’t need telling twice and charged over, scooping a surprised and delighted Gordon into the air just as Alan woke up.

Jeff fetched his youngest, keeping the blanket wrapped around him as he balanced the 18-month-old in his arms. Alan’s eyes were wide as he watched the laughing pile of siblings.

“Maniacs,” Jeff told him. “The lot of them.”

Alan’s answer giggle told him the smallest Tracy both agreed and approved.

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