#another month another one of these things. Sorry 🤪

[mediapen]

T H E E X T E N D E D M E T A P H O R .

agustín gómez-acros, the carnivorous lamb (trans. william rodarmor) // [x] // sam sax, ‘RIBS’ // [x] // [x] // louise glück, ‘persephone the wanderer’ // louise erdrich, 'fooling god' // [x] // b: william bearhart, ‘at the dinner table with god and my father’ // richard siken, ‘dr. jones, magical thinking, and the divine’ // margaret atwood, ‘half-hanged mary’ // jenny xie, ‘postmemory’ // akwaeke emezi, freshwater // connie voisine, '“the altar” by george herbert’ // traci brimhall, rookery // richard siken, 'hansel,' in kate bernheimer (ed.) brothers and beasts // ted hughes, 'being christlike.'

[seraphicsentences]

HEY! i knwo your on a break but just incase your bored could you write reader sending spicy texts2 streamer!ellie while shes on like a boss level, and then after ‘raging’ at reader for making her lose, she comes back as if the chat isnt questioning the sounds coming from the other room (silly girl forgot to mute)

hi. tumblr j deleted all my edits to this. i’m rage quitting and j posting this version i banged out in the span of 15 minutes 😀 anyways.

FUCK i’m sorry i know this took fucking forever and now i’m delivering mediocrity. loved this req either way this was smf to write. hope you enjoy sweet girl ;)

me when i disappear for a month and come back only to deliver pure dog shit. 🤪🤪

“-KID JUST GOT FUCKING DESTROYED, FUCKING BITCH.”

it was a late friday night, which meant ellie was streaming in her room, and you were supposed to be studying.

this week ellie was hosting a special in celebration of hitting 10k subscribers, and was grinding away to finally defeat Resident Evil’s final boss.

you could hear the chat dinging away with message after message, no doubt blasting ellie with compliments on her play, and the occasional comment thirsting over her hands or whatnot. it was nothing new— you’d seen the countless edits of her on your own social media page, and even had a folder of your own favorites saved away on a burner account.

“let me suck your fing- WHAT?! that is a crazy thing to say,” you could hear ellie’s shocked voice. “either way, chat, i’m married…”

“where’s my ring? UP YOUR ASS. c’mon, leave me be, guys,” ellie jokingly whined, bantering with her obsessive fanbase.

you held back a smile of your own, hand pressed to your mouth as she continued to scold the chat for their outrageously filthy messages. what a dork.

“alright alright, im muting the chat. love you guys but i gotta focus now! this is serious shit and i’m low on ammo now, hah-ha,” ellie spoke to the screen, words slightly muffled through the thin wall.

in the living room papers lay strewn across the floor, couch littered with eraser shavings and crumpled post-it notes, yourself splayed atop it all.

studying was a long-forgotten task you abandoned to instead sweep lazily through your camera roll, attempting to clear up some much needed storage.

you stopped abruptly at the thumbnail of an old video, in which depicted a downright sinful image of ellie’s bared neck for you as she arched back in pleasure.

you quite literally salivated at the veins that adorned her sweat-glistened skin, naked chest that was just covered by the play button in the center, goading you to click it.

quiet sounds of ellie’s desperate moans picked up, her head coming up look just above the camera and deliver the most pathetically fucked-out look.

“ple-ease can i cum, mommy?” she whined, voice breaking with every thrust of your fingers, wet squelching in the background a sign of her neediness.

“let me hear you, baby,” you heard yourself coo through the screen, the video becoming shaky as you picked up your pace— before suddenly ending on accident right as ellie let out a strangled whimper.

you met it with one of your own, frustrated with being left on an unfinished high, the throbbing at your core impossible to ignore.

your thighs shifted against one another, wetness pooling in your underwear as you replayed ellie’s final sound in your head over and over again.

your trance was broken by the sound of a frustrated groan coming from behind ellie’s door.

“fuck, i got it this time, i got it, swear,” she cursed as the game’s recognizable ‘revive’ audio cue played.

she could just do this again next week, right?

without a second longer of thinking, you quickly screen-shotted a clear frame from the video, shooting it ellie’s way and sending a quick text to follow.

~~

ellie choked on her own spit as she clicked the blur away. cough- “fuck-“ wheeze- “shit-“ hack- “sorry, guys, j choked on my own saliva.”

what the fuck? what games were you trying to play?

you groaned, hearing the firing of guns continue on alongside ellie’s commentary.

sliding your panties aside, you spread your legs to display the mess between them, snapping a quick picture.

you shot back another text.

“just one more hit, one more one more one m- i- fuck,” you hear ellie stutter. “oh fuck, yep… and i’m dead, ‘kay, sorry guys just give me like 5 i’ll be back. gotta take care of something.”

you heard the slam of her headphones hitting the table and a screech of her chair sliding back against the hardwood floors.

the door swung open, the look in ellie’s eyes making your heart race with anticipation.

“hey els, good game?” you asked innocently from your position on the couch, legs crossed with your arm resting over the back.

“good game? yeah, great game actually,” she replies sarcastically, sauntering her way over to you. “you didn’t happen to need something, did you?” she asks, hopping onto the couch and quirking an eyebrow up.

“me? no…” you trail off as she leans in to brush a kiss across your lips.

“no?” she tucks your hair aside, before leaning in to whisper, “you mind spreading those pretty legs for me then, baby? i just want a look.”

“els,” you whine, attempting to catch her mouth in a kiss.

she avoids it, dipping down instead to rasp words against your racing pulse, “show me.”

you uncross your legs slowly, a damp patch darkening the very center of your shorts.

ellie grabs the leg closest to her, swiveling your body in one swift move to face her direction, placing that leg over the back of the couch as she runs her other hand up your opposing leg.

“fuck, els, i need you,” you say breathlessly, hips bucking into the air.

“let’s get these off,” she replies with a squeeze, tugging at your waistband. “wanna tell me what’s got you texting me like a slut in the middle of my stream? was it the video? my video?”

she dips her thumb into your leaking hole, swiping your arousal up in a messy circle over your aching clit.

“ah- shit! yes, fuck, y’sounded s-so pretty in it, els,” you moaned, nerves overly sensitive from the wait. “please,” you cried out, unsure of what exactly you were begging for, but you needed more.

“so fuckin’ needy,” ellie laughs under her breath, relishing in the loud groan that escapes your lips when she replaces her hand with her mouth, tongue flicking rhythmically against your swollen clit to draw out more of those pretty sounds.

“oh-oh, god, right there, so good- mmph,” you rock your hips up, hand scrambling to tug ellie’s mouth even closer to you, if possible.

mmhm she moans into your pussy, the vibrations making you jerk up as your legs clamp tightly around her head. ellie’s hands dash up immediately to shove them apart, pressing them wide open with an iron grip as she practically growls, “you asked for this. so fucking take it.”

two of her fingers slide easily into you with the next pull on your clit, and you’re arching up in a manner almost identical to ellie’s in the video, whining nonsensically.

“you’re dripping, baby,” ellie tuts, “just couldn’t wait for me, huh?”

she continues to pump her fingers deep into you, curling them on every outstroke to slide against the spot that makes you see stars.

“c’mon, cum all over my fingers,” she teases, whispering sweet praises between kitten licks to your sensitive clit.

with your head thrown back, you couldn’t help but moan her name like a fucking prayer as your walls started to tighten, legs trembling under her grasp as she worked you through your high.

“that’s it, soak my fucking fingers.”

~

iluvgirls_moms: THAT WAS 1000% A MOAN

elliesleftarm33: guys what the fuck is happening 😀 ellie babes, i think you forgot to mute.

ewilliamsismy_wife: did anyone else j hear ellie’s name. are the voices getting to me?

elliewsjizzfr6996: how to be ellie’s gf no glue no borax? 🥲🥲

1toesuckersslurper: NAH ITS BEEN WELL OVER 10 MIN IM OUTTA HERE

yeahhh… looks like ellie owes her subscribers a real big 10k special next week. and an apology.

[featguler]

it made us restless ────── my god, this reminds me of when we were young.

lewis hamilton is seen reconnecting with an old lover.

⌗ pairing : lewis hamilton x reader ⌗ tags : reader is female, and her faceclaim is established. reader is a singer. not proofread, possibly shitty. ⌗ notes : this is my 200 followers special!! a different sports!! i haven't done a 100 followers special because i'm technically supposed to write for a football athlete that is not from real madrid, but i haven't decided who i wanna do for that so... you get this first :3 also i tried doing something different with the header!!! title and description is from 'when we were young' by adele ♡ masterlist.

FACECLAIM 𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ yura yunita ( instagram )

DISCLAIMER 𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ 𐙚 i am not affiliated with yura yunita, lewis hamilton, or anyone mentioned in this fic 𐙚 any similarities in name, time, and place is purely coincidental 𐙚 do not mind the time stamps 𐙚 click on the pictures if it seems blurry

ynusername

liked by hamiltonsource, ynluvr, lewishamilton, and others

ynusername some of that ldt (long distance tennis) 🤪 @.lewishamilton tagged lewishamilton view all comments

lewishamilton <33 ❤️ by author

ynusername <33

username okay so anyone else got recommended this post on their timeline... seven years later...

username let me tell you about the heart attack i got... username i fr thought they were getting back together

lewishamilton i totally beat you though ❤️ by author

ynusername liar liar pants on fire → lewishamilton my pants aren't on fire?? → ynusername i wouldn't know you're half the world away → lewishamilton aw sorry pretty baby :( <33 username oh... this relationship wasn't a hoax... → username ??? 😭😭😭 username they were CUTE cute huh..

username i love you my mother and my father please adopt me

username wow seeing my comment from 7 years ago here is crazy... → username 😭😭😭

username this must be a sign from the universe huh...??? HUH???

username it's literally just the instagram algorithm fucking things up again calm down username REAL i'm not even following y/n

yourfriend cutiessss! ❤️ by author

ynusername i love you! 🥺

ynsource

liked by ynfanaccount, ynluvr, hamiltonsource, and others

ynsource my sources say that y/n is rekindling with an old lover 🤭 tagged ynusername view all comments

username and what sources are these

ynsource trust me → username LITERALLY "trust me bro" SOURCE???

username creating unnecessary drama

username i feel like it's been a few months ❤️ by author

ynsource 🫣

hamiltonsource wait can u tell me ❤️ by author

ynsource ofc baby username not the ship going so strong that their fan accounts are also in a love affair

username that's a dinner for TWO...

username she's allowed to have friends you know → username or other men idk → username no other men → username ?????

ynusername

liked by ynsource, lewishamilton, and others

ynusername some fresh air before the tour 🤝 which dates will you be going? :-) <33 view all comments

username oh she's teasing us

username guys.......... they're obviously talking again right

ynusername i'll see you all!!!

username I'LL SEE YOU I LOVE YOU username SEE YOU SEE YOU SEE YOU username vitamin SEE YOU!!! ❤️ by author → ynusername ohh that's cute → username WAIT ILY THANK YOU FOR REPLYING → ynusername <33

username I'M GOING TO THE ARLINGTON SHOW QUEEN ❤️ by author

ynsource work those hamstrings 😍

username i feel like i'm in a cult

hamiltonsource we will... be seeing you <33

ynusername which dates? xo <33 ynsource HOW DID YOU GET A REPLY BUT NOT ME??? @.hamiltonsource → hamiltonsource i'm just better baby

username london 2nd night! <33 ❤️ by author

username she's fucking with us right

georgerussell63 monaco date ❤️ by author

ynusername which obviously exists → georgerussell63 🤣 ❤️ by author username great now we have both of *****' ex interacting with one another

username why are we so afraid to say the word lewis

username SHHHH THAT'S FORBIDDEN AROUND HERE → username wtf??? i'll @ him idc @.lewishamilton → username real → username @.lewishamilton

ynusername

liked by ynsource, ynluvr, yniloveu others

ynusername found some gems for a couple of years ago 🥰 view all comments

username were you getting married 😹

ynusername 🤫

ynsource to WHO!?!?!?!?

username happy bday queen

username it's not her bday yet 😭

ynluvr oh you are GORGEOUS gorgeous ❤️ by author

ynusername <33

username white is fr her colour

username whoever is going to marry her will be so lucky to see her walking down the aisle... 🥺

lewishamilton

liked by ynusername, hamiltonsource, and others

lewishamilton First paddock birthday in a while 🎂🥳 <33 tagged ynusername view all comments

ynusername happy birthday to me!!! ❤️ by author

lewishamilton Birthday girl! → ynusername :-)

username HARDLAUNCH?????

username me when the world didn't end in 2015

username my mom thinks i'm insane for tossing my phone across the room after seeing this

hamiltonsource happy birthday mom @.ynusername

ynsource go away that's MY mom??? → hamiltonsource OUR mom 🥰

username HEEELLLLLLOOOOO??

username OMG.....

username wait why am i emotional

username seeing lewis post y/n gave me such intense whiplash i think i was transported back to 2011

username i have no one to send this to

[eternalfics]

hey!! can i req hcs of saiki with a very emotional s/o, like takes a lot of stuff to heart and cries their eyes out while watching sad movies (this is definitely not bc i just watched grave of the fireflies and sobbed like a baby) and just someone who’s overall a hopeless romantic?? (I loved your other headcanons for him 🫶🫶)

saiki with an emotional! reader

(gn reader! reader is also new to the class and addressed as “Y/N”

warnings:

a/n: OH MY GOSH?! ANOTHER ONE 😍?! I can tell you guys love saiki k 😙 but it’s okay because I’m having a saiki brain rot 🤪 and I literally freaked out when I saw the official art.

What I listened to:

summary: saiki with a hopeless, sad, sensitive partner 😔

okay, let’s be honest here. SAIKI would absolutely freak out (mentally)

so like let’s see when u met

When you introduced yourself to the class, anyone could barely hear you, while Saiki on the other hand could hear your rushed thoughts.🤨

“My name is L/N Y/N.. and I *mumbling*..”

‘OMGIMUSTBEREALLYQUIETAHHHTHEYDONTLIKEMEALREADY!!’ :(

Literally, when speaking to other classmates was quite a trouble. 😀 And when someone called you “babyface” as a joke, OHOHOHH there come the waterworks (after you excused yourself to the bathroom ofc). Saiki already knew you were gonna cry ofc, but he couldn’t help but get more interested in you more? 🤔

HEADCANONS

it’s obvious he cannot watch sad parts of movies with you, because every time he always looks at you there’s already a river of tears running down your face 😭

“I’m sorry, Jerold. It’s just that I can’t do this anymor-“

*very loud sobbing clearly coming from you”

We all know Saiki’s sharp with his words, but he’s got a huge soft spot for you. (I should have put acts of service as his love languag) So yeah, everything that makes you sad just doesn’t exist anymore. (We’ll put it that way)

Oh no, The store just ran out of your favourite snacks! Oh? Turns out you have a months supply in the cabinet. The drama series you watched just ended? No, what do you mean there’s another one right next to this show.

If you just happened to come across a purple haired, terrible haircut, way too confident, so annoying person (described by Saiki) he’ll wrap you up in a blanket and lay down next you. Maybe have a conversation about coffee jelly 😌

Sometimes, Saiki can’t handle it 😰 like for example:

“Hey, Kusuo! What do you think of this new jacket I got? :D”

*mentally panicking*

“Its.. good.”

He had to spit that out 💀

About the hopeless romantic thing, he kinda expected that- But take this as a way as saying he knows you well :) 😄

Overall, Saiki thinks of you when he sees crying babies. 🙂

[disasterbuck]

Hi!!! Ooooh There is so much to choose 🤪🥰💕❓️💻💖🤝🤖🌎🥵

omg just go ahead and make me write everything lol (affectionate) I couldn't keep myself to strictly 3 sentences for all of these, so they vary a bit 🥰

🤪 - clumsy

first time in MONTHS I've written anything for this wip 🥰

This lasted for approximately five minutes before the bell went off and he found himself piling into the truck next to Eddie. He'd tried to slip into another seat, but Chimney had gotten there first and shot him a curious glance. After that, Buck had resigned himself to his fate and sat down beside the love and torturer of his life.

🥰 - confession / surprise date

this one ran away with me a little, how exciting!!

Eddie's lips parted in surprise as Buck began ladling the stew into their bowls. Buck was nervous, accidentally moving a bit too quick and splashing some sauce out of the bowl onto Eddie's shirt.

"Shit! Sorry," he said, moving the dish back to the island bench and taking a step to go and fetch a wash cloth.

Before he could get far, Eddie grabbed his arm and gently reeled him in until he was standing right beside Eddie's chair, looking down at him.

"Relax," Eddie said softly.

"I just want it to be perfect," Buck said. "But now I've already gotten food on you and we haven't even eaten anything yet and–"

Pushing his chair back to stand up, Eddie silenced him with a kiss.

💕 - first kiss

Eddie wasn't sure what to say to that. The truth was he was scared, but he knew he needed to face this no matter what. If Buck had picked up on enough to think they were dancing around each other, that had to mean something.

❓ - is this a date?

It turned out that there was only one table left, which Buck accepted eagerly.

"Alright, up you get," Buck said once the booking was finalised and he'd hung up the phone. "There was only one slot left and it's for 6:45, so we've gotta hustle."

Eddie let out an exaggerated groan as he got to his feet.

💻 - eddie's online friend

this is a goldmine that I completely forgot about lol. I might have to share more snippets at some point.

Stranded: so?

Stranded: are you gonna ask him if he's into men?

GI: stop asking me that

💖 - sorry but I fell in love tonight

Buck watched in delight as the fear drained out of Eddie's face, replaced with wonder.

that's all I've got in me for this one atm

🤝 - touches

The next escalation comes one evening as they're curled up on Eddie's couch together. Eddie sits between Buck's legs, his back to Buck's chest, when Buck takes a risk and slides his hands up the man's thighs. Eddie hums, happy, and tips his head back.

After that, they kiss whenever they can.

🤖 - who's got a crush

a few extra lines for this one as well 🥰

Had Buck really just said what he thought he'd said? No, he couldn't have. Eddie must have misheard.

"Sorry, what?" he asked, giving his head a slight shake.

"Oh my god, Dad!" Chris exclaimed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "He wants to have your babies!"

"Christopher!" Buck wheezed.

🌎 - alternate universe

How could he be right about when Christopher was coming back, but wrong about so many other things? Why didn't he have any memory whatsoever of getting married to Eddie? It couldn't be amnesia, because he had too many other memories all packed into his brain.

🥵 - that's hot

A moment later he heard footsteps and turned to see Bobby and Eddie walking towards him. Bobby looked extremely proud, and Eddie looked…

"Marry me," Eddie said, eyes fixed on Buck's face.

Make Me Write ✨

taglist:

(I hope it's okay that I'm adding you all here! Just thought you might like to read some snippets, and figured this was a good post for it since there's such a variety. If you're interested in even MORE, go to my blog and search 'make me write'. I've tagged all of these asks with that tag.)

@dluoser @taketheplanspinitsideways @loudenthusiastic @wallywise @mxrcjqckspnchqsc

@i-am-married-to-my-fandom @therosesaredying @stillfuckingtired @classtrialguru @speggle

@awesome-igi @natnuszsstuff @olliesrants @crazyfangirlallert @delirium1995

@brah3280 @meanceclosetohell @anythingeverythingallofthetime @izzysbeans @sunflower-eddiediaz

@darkrose6578 @veronae-buddie @steadfastsaturnsrings @loveyouanyway @inell

@spicyrottingbrains @gnoeltop @idealuk @donationwayne @lemotmo

@smilingbuckley @realpersonwithrealfeelings @superlock-in-the-tardis @mjthe14thdoctor @strxwbereee

@idontknowwhatimdoing777 @ashleigh2658 @mari-lwyd-fannibal-blog @mineyneedsmoney @faithhopeandmisery

@spotsandsocks @unlifeira @tofanasmuse @pirrusstuff @buddiedaydreamer911

@littlevampireprincessuniverse @misshiss727 @i-put-the-star-in-bastard @hermioneindisguise @dangerpronebuddie

Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed 💕

[fatherrussia-69]

「《Happy Birthday Father R and Updates!》」

Hey Hey! Sorry for the absences, if you've been keeping up with all the updates, you'll know that we've been pretty busy this year and haven't been able to write. o(*￣▽￣*)ブ Yeahhh, School's just been eating up me and Editor T's schedules. 😩🤧 We've tried finding a good schedule for Father R to write without him getting burnt out and for me and Henchman A to be available to edit, pre-read and add our authornotes, but it's been proving to be difficult. That's why we've just settled for the goal of getting at least 2-3 chapters posted per month. It's not as many as it used to be last year, but working on the weekends seem to be the only saving grace. (￣▽￣)" There's a break coming up for Thanksgiving, so we're going to double-timing that week to try and get things posted. I cannot assure anyone that we'll get a chapter posted, but we'll have definitely made progress. I've also made a bit of a routine when it comes to writing to avoid Writer's block, and I'm proud to say Chapter 61 of SSATW is about 78% ready for posting. RAD Chapter 4 is about 64% but that's only because I haven't figured out the skeletal structure of the chapter yet- ヾ(≧ ▽ ≦)ゝ Anyways, Now that Updates are out of the way, HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY BIG GUY!!! 🥳🎉🎊🎂 Happy Birthday Father R, and thank you @thegenderfluidace for surprising him with this drawing this morning. Hearing him screech in joy was one wake to wake up. Sorry about that- But truthfully, Thank you so much Ace for the drawing!!! Your art is amazing, and whether or not you were able to finish the drawing doesn't ruin the surprise in the slightest. q(≧▽≦q) As per tradition, we went bowling on his birthday and God Damn- 😀💀 I got first place, which isn't surprising. Gutter, after Gutter, After Gutter- ...( ＿ ＿)ノ｜

Ask me how this man got outdone by the NPC (accidentally added another slot so we all just randomly rolled balls down the lane). 🤧🤣 I had a rebirth on my skill tree okay? (┬┬﹏┬┬) You only had 23 points. Everyone else was above 50- Couldn't be me. 🤪😘 Just wait till next year. o(一︿一+)o Anyways, we'll see you guys pretty soon, we have some questions in our Inbox and although the Q&A has long since ended, we will answer a few of them when we can! If you guys have any questions or just want to chat with us, don't be afraid to drop by our inbox and say hello! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) ALSO WE REACHED 108 FOLLOWERS ON TUMBLR!! YOU GUYS ARE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AMAZING!!!! 😍🤩😖

[britany1997]

David, he gets jealous about a long time friend and ends marking you (hickies, bites, etc) before you go see the friend? GN reader please

Love Marks

(Ok just kidding guys I finished it tonight🤪)

Jealous David you say? Jealous TOXIC David? 😈 that’s right besties, he’s back

Jealous David x GN Reader

(Can be read on its own, but could also be read as a follow up to Male Manipulator.)

Warnings: SMUTish minors DNI, Manipulation, sort of dubcon, toxic David, blood, blood drinking, emotionally abusive behavior, unhealthy possessiveness, tiny bit of mind control, biting, handcuffs, I think that’s it.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

You stared at your reflection in the mirror as you combed through your mass of hair. David sat on your bed, teeth gritted as he watched you get ready to go out with your childhood friend.

“Sure you don’t wanna just stay in,” he asked coming up behind you. You felt his arms around your waist, but were only greeted with your own image as you faced the mirror.

You leaned into his touch and tilted your head up to look into his eyes. “I’ve cancelled on Kyle like five times in the last month,” you reminded him, “do you really want a partner who’s an awful friend?” You teased him, booping his nose.

He crinkled his nose, unamused.

“I don’t like him,” he informed you, “he just wants to get in your pants.”

You scoffed, a little offended, “you say that about everyone.” you told him, “everyone in the world isn’t lining up to try to screw me, you’re being paranoid!” You said exasperated, waving your comb at him.

David smirked, “but babyyy,” he spoke, pouting, “you’re just so perfect,” he stroked your cheek, “who wouldn’t want to be with you? If I were Kyle I’d wanna be in my position too.” You blushed at his words and nuzzled your cheek into his hand.

“Stoppp you’re too sweet,” you said.

He smiled. He had you. “So you can see where I’m coming from right babe? I can’t let you go.”

Your smile fell from your face immediately as you dropped his hand, “can’t let me?” You asked him, your tone full of malice.

Fuck. He’d overplayed his hand.

“Just kidding babe,” he purred, pulling the strings in your mind to prompt you to believe him, “you know I’d never keep you from doing anything. You’re your own person, that’s one of the things I love most about you,” he lied as he watched your face morph into a smile once more.

He returned your smile, his holding a sinister twinge, “but the vampire inside me,” he started cautiously, “it’s possessive of its mate,” he pouted, “I try to suppress it, but it comes with the teeth babe. I can’t turn it off, I wish I could.” He told you solemnly.

Your eyebrows furrowed together as you looked up into his eyes. You cupped his face in your hands, “I’m sorry baby,” you said, “I didn’t realize it was an instinct thing.”

“It’s uncontrollable,” he assured you quickly, taking your hands from his face and holding them in his, “the vampire inside me gets so restless whenever you’re out with someone else.” He pouted.

“Oh baby,” you said sympathetically, “what can I do to make it better?” you asked.

He fought to keep the smirk from spreading over his face. He knew he wasn’t convincing you to stay home, not after his little slip from earlier, but maybe there was another way.

“Baby,” he started, “you know how sometimes I like to bite you right here,” he said placing a finger on the pulse point on your neck, “doing that reassures me that you’re mine, that we belong together.” ‘That you belong to me.’ He thought.

“So you want to bite my neck again?” You asked him, “yeah you can do that if it’ll help baby! I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” You told him.

He sighed dramatically, “you know what would really help my vampire instincts?” He asked.

You furrowed your brow, looking at him expectantly.

He smirked, “why don’t you let me show you,” he said as he led you to the bed.

David slipped off his trench coat, jacket, and shirt before sitting down on the bed and pulling you into his lap.

You turned your head to look back into his eyes, “I have to leave in half an hour babe,” you told him.

“Don’t worry about it baby, this shouldn’t take long.” He promised while pulling your shirt over your head.

You settled back into his lap and leaned against his chest. He kissed your cheek softly before moving downward, kissing all over your neck.

He trailed kisses down to the familiar spot where your neck and shoulder met, licking and sucking. His teeth grazed the spot, silently asking permission. You breathed out as your eyes fluttered closed.

“Do whatever you want,” you told him.

He smirked before his fangs lengthened, that was exactly what he’d wanted to hear.

You hissed at the painful sensation of his teeth sinking into you but as the pain turned to pleasure, your hiss morphed into a moan.

He moaned with you as your blood flooded into his mouth. He was careful not to take as much as he usually would, he was far from done.

He withdrew his fangs from the crook of your neck and trailed then down the length of your arm. Leaving purple spots and teeth marks all over you.

Once he made it down to your hand, he turned your face towards his and took your fingers into his mouth, licking the end before sucking on each, one by one, while staring deeply into your eyes.

You stared back at him, mouth slightly agape as he toyed with you like he never had before. Your head felt cloudy, a mix of pleasure and blood loss as you allowed him to have his way with you.

“Be good for me ok?” He condescended.

You gulped and nodded.

He shifted you out of his lap until you were laying back on the bed. You turned to him confused. He smirked at you before rolling onto you and pinning your hands to the bed.

You gasped, filled with shock and excitement as he stared down at you.

He lowered his mouth to you chest, sucking and biting at the skin. Little pearls of blood appeared wherever he bit down into you.

After awhile, David released his grip on you to fish through your drawer.

“What are you doing babe?” You asked him.

“You’ll see baby,” he purred, “just stay real still for me.”

He pulled the handcuffs you thought you’d discarded long ago from your bedside drawer.

Your face flushed bright red immediately as you realized his intentions. “How did you know about those,” you asked mortified.

“Don’t worry about it babe,” he told you, “now you said you were gonna be good for me right?”

Your breath hitched, “yeah,” you said.

“Then hold still,” he whispered in your ear as he fastened your hands into the cuffs around the bed frame.

He placed a kiss on your lips, before sucking your bottom lip into his mouth and biting down. When he pulled back you could feel the blood trailing down your lips and falling onto your chest as he watched you, transfixed.

He moved down to your stomach, leaving small soft kisses and sucking gently, but never breaking the skin.

When he finished he made it down to your legs. Instead of his usually foreplay, he bit directly into your inner thigh prompting you to throw your head back and scream in a mix of agony and ecstasy.

He groaned as he fed from his other favorite spot, your moans and whimpers feeding his ego while your blood fed his appetite.

When he finally pulled away his eyes were yellow and his mouth was bright red. He kissed you once more smearing your own blood onto your lips.

He unlocked your handcuffs and rubbed your wrists gently as you fell back onto the pillows exhausted. Your eyes fluttering closed as you fought a losing battle to stay conscious.

“I’ll tell Kyle you’re not gonna make it,” David said smirking as he grabbed your phone.

You grunted in affirmation as you rolled over and drifted off to sleep, you body’s blood supply too depleted to do much else.

After sending Kyle a text from your phone letting him know you wouldn’t be meeting him for dinner tonight, and there would be no need to reschedule, David crawled into bed behind you and stroked your hair.

You shifted in your sleep exposing the column of your neck, which was covered in bites. You were all his.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Taglist❤️ (comment to be added):

@ghoulgeousimmaculate @pixielostboy @misslavenderlady @6lostgirl6 @anna1306 @solobagginses @its-freaking-bats

[marleyybluu]

Fezco x f!reader

WC: 1.1k

Warnings: I made this as fluffy and sweet as I could. shitty ending cus my attention span can't take it anymore lol

A/N: yes. another one. I said I was feeding yall fez content. quick write up to distract myself from finishing the long ones 🤪didn't know what to title it sorry lol

Growing up you didn't have an interest in being someone's wife, let alone a mother. For years you swore up and down you'd just be the aunty who occasionally kept her nieces and nephews for a week. And then you met him, and your whole persona changed, you found yourself doing domesticated shit and actually enjoying it.

He made it worth it. Your friends and even your siblings constantly stated how shocked they were to see you so in love, so sprung. He brought out the best in you and you hoped you were doing the same for him.

But in his daily activities, you saw the appreciation he had for you. The adoration in those pretty blue eyes, the blush that would creep on his face whenever he looked at you reminded you how he felt the same way he did.

And so one day, you married him. It was a small gathering, both of you didn't have a lot of family and friends so it was pretty intimate but truthfully you didn't want like three hundred guests at your feet anyway. You two were becoming each other's family so only the close ones needed to be there. The ceremony was quick but the reception lasted all night, it was too much fun, enjoying yourself as you saw your new husband let loose and actually dance, lip sync love songs to you with a huge grin on his face.

You knew you made a great decision in choosing your partner.

At the time you were still unsure of kids, and he knew that, said you're the one carrying so whatever you were good with, he was good with. So you went two years married without children, but eventually, you saw something that helped you make a decision. When your younger sister had her baby and asked Fez if he wanted to hold her, to your surprise he said yes. And seeing that little blanket in his arms, the way he looked down at her and smiled. You knew.

Knew that you wanted him to experience it for himself, knew that you'd have no regrets in changing your mind. Younger you would be shocked at how one person made you switch teams.

Next thing you knew you had your own little person growing inside, and Fez took great care of you, took over everything in the house that half the time you had to ask if he wanted help which most of the time he declined but you'd help anyway.

For those nine months, you watched him transform into a dad, getting the nursery together on his own as a surprise to you and he did an amazing job. And the night you went into labour you'd never seen him so calm and ready, for a first-time father he was not freaking out.

When your son was born you'd seen him shed a few tears, he repeatedly praised you and thanked you for providing another person to love. You got to see how attentive he was, rushing over to the baby at every little sound and squirm, hardly wanting to put him down. You had to pry your child out of his arms. He looked like Fez, got his eyes and a bit of ginger was noticed in his slick hair. His placenta perm as you called it, you both laughed.

For the next four years, he taught his son almost everything he could, how to brush his teeth, how to ride a bike, how to ride a scooter-- before he started school, hell before he could even walk, he'd been teaching how to read and write, do basic math and so on.

It made you want another, so bad, you'd give him a stadium full of kids if it meant seeing him like that.

Which led up to today, you looked down at your little girl in your arms. You gave birth the day before and it started all over again, you never knew you had so much room in your heart. You officially had three people living there. Fez sat on the bed with you looking at her, the small sighs that left her pouty lips.

"She's fucking beautiful." He complimented, his hand carefully ghosting over her hair. She gave you more heartburn than the last one. "She is." You cooed tapping her nose. While you stared down at you could feel his eyes darting over to you, you turned to face him, knowing what was coming.

"Thank you, for everything, for my family." You bent your lips in to hide your obviously growing smile. "I wouldn't have done it for anyone else."

"I love you." He murmured leaning over to press his lips against yours. "I love you more."

There was a soft knock at the door, it creaked open giving you a peek at your mother's head. "Can we come in?" She whispered, you nodded, she opened it wider allowing your son and Fez's brother Ashtray inside. "Hi, Mommy." Your son smiled, he pulled away from his uncle and rushed over to you with a bouquet of flowers. "I brought these for you."

You could cry. "Thank you, my baby. Can you put them on the table for Mommy?"

He nodded and tried his best to put on the surface but he needed a bit of help so Fez helped him. He put sanitizer on his little hands and Fez placed him on the bed next to you. "Is that my sister?"

"Yes, this is your sister." You answered teary-eyed. His little hand reached over to rest on the blanket. "She's tiny."

"She is, you were this size once."

He laughed, just staring at her the same way Fez did. "Would you like to hold her?" He quickly nodded, Fez helped him position his hands and placed a pillow under them, you carefully rested the little one in his arms. He giggled nervously when she moved around but she settled in his hold. "I like her."

Fez laughed kissing his head. "We're glad you like her bud."

You looked up at your husband and winked. Your moment was interrupted by a serious question from your young one. "Can I have another one?"

"Another what?"

"Baby sister, I want two."

You covered your mouth to muffle your laughter, Fez turned his head away to hide his. "Um," Your voice was shaky. "When she gets to be as tall as you, Dad and I will talk about it."

"Don't worry, you'll get another one soon." Fez chimed in, you looked up to protest but honestly... he was right.

You'd probably have another sooner than you think.

if you liked this feel free to like this comments and reblogs appreciated peace and love, see you in the next.

🏷: @skyesthebomb @darqchilddaydreamz @bigenergy777 @realhotgurlshit

[mrsnancywheeler]

Read the “say don’t go” thing and one part had me thinking. I’d imagine muse knows Billy can’t say “I love you”, she’s used to it. After some time she realizes that saying “I love you” will either lead to Billy ignoring it or getting in a bad mood.

Imagine during a make out session she unconsciously says “I love you” only to realize immediately after what she said and begins whispering apologies “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry”.

-🌾anon

firm believer that an unbelievable amount of time is spent making out on top of his bed, and that is once again, where she accidentally says it. this is in that first year or so because eventually it is something he occasionally says and doesn't tweak out when she says it, but at first it's one of the many things he's scared of. but this time, he's been in a good mood and she's so scared that her little, "god, love you so much, billy." will destroy all of that. and at first she doesn't even register she said it, not until he does what he always does and pulls away for a second to process his emotions. and then she's freaking out, she's done it again, "I'm sorry, can we just forget I said it? I'm really sorry, billy, promise it was an accident, can we move on?" and she's trying to just pull back into his lips, but he's confused more now and pulling away.

"hey, what's going on? why are you freaking out on me, baby?" and she's staring up at him from in between his arms, staring, before he hands are flying up to cover the embarrassment of her own tears. and he's climbing off of her to sit near, not a clue what to do.

"I ruin everything, 'm sorry." she's sobbing through her hands and he's suddenly holding her.

"no, you don't." 'i do' he's thinking, but he doesn't say it. "it's okay, you didn't say a thing. my girl, my muse, nothing to be sorry for." and it calms her down, she moves her hands, tries to wipe away tears, put on a brave face, kiss him again, when he's suddenly pulling away. sporting a very serious face when he mutters a very rare, "I love you."

and that gets her beaming, crawling on top of him, swollen and cracked lips from kissing, and they fuck like there's no tomorrow.

and then he doesn't say it for at least another 7 months but yk let bygones be bygones ig 🤪

[lunar-years]

https://x.com/JRRnotTolkien/status/1827492547960434945?t=oFRRrF9CB-V8MfBWZZEyQg&s=08 not sure if you saw this but this is maybe more positive - like, a casting director wanted him to come in for something but learned from Phil's people that he may have this commitment. Of course, this means that if the article detail is correct, that's the Ted Lasso people actively being like "we aren't gonna bother with Jamie, sorry Phil" like them choosing not to renew, or seeing the authentic best path for Jamie as a star footballer would be sold to a bigger and more aspirational team. I get that this happens to players but I don't like the idea that it would be canon to do that in Roy's first season. Surely he would want to stay with Roy as manager and play in the Champions League under him. It would feel OOC for him to leave.

original tweet from two days ago:

today's amendment:

Especially considering the amendment tweet here I can't say this changes much for me one way or another. There's for sure a lot of contrasting information out there at the moment and it's really impossible for any of us to know for sure what's happening. At the moment I am trying to remain a bit hopeful that I'll be nicely surprised whilst also preparing to be letdown. Based on everything I've seen, the number of times these supposed scheduling conflicts have been mentioned by different sources makes me lean towards thinking (very unfortunately) that they are in fact real and Phil isn't going to be coming back as a regular, but could (and I would assume will) guest star. i really really REALLY hope i'm wrong (or that "guest star" in this capacity means he's just gonna be in 11 out of 12 episodes 🤪). Quite frankly if Phil couldn't make the proposed TL filming schedule work due to prior commitments, TL should've just changed the filming schedule. Like...damn! Literally just push it back a few months we've already waited this long. I think losing him as a regular is a massive mistake.

As for your second point, I very strongly doubt that the Ted Lasso people didn't want to option Phil to return tbh. Everything we've seen so far indicates the issues came from Phil's side. Besides that, I really don't think this show cares about realism anywhere near enough to write off a beloved main character just because that's what might happen if Jamie were a real footballer 😭 Jamie was arguably the most well-received character and arc of s3 for the show and they for sure would capitalize on that if they could (and writing him off is going to be really weird and undoubtedly effect the plans for other characters' s4 arcs as well, he was very intertwined with Roy's plot in particular in s3, plus they were still going with the ot3 love triangle thing, plus they introduced the recovery arc with his dad. I think they will probably have to scrap part of their s4 vision to work around losing him and that Sucks!

[dootznbootz]

Are you feeling funky enough to give us some Diomedes + Sthenelus/Odysseus (idk how many ships Dio has, I'm sorry) thoughts?

(anonymous because you most likely already know who I am)

Disclaimer: This isn't canon to Dootzverse Epic Cycle anymore! Diomedes and Odysseus are no longer Exes but just coworkers like how they are in the Iliad. Diomedes being around 20 and Odysseus around 30. I only made them "exes" because I thought I needed to have them "romantic" in some way at some point in order for fandom to be nice to me. :') But that's silly and so Odysseus still has an "ex" that was basically only a month long romance and all that except it's a different Achaean >:3

I'll let this post stay up for funsies though :P

I actually don't know right now. I am that fried, Iro :D

DioSthe are my boys and I love them a lot. I sadly don't know everything about them but I still love them a lot. Sthenelus is Diomede's little hypeman and that means SO much to me. They've known each other for a long time and are basically QPPs for a long time. It's a thing where Diomedes doesn't think much of it sadly for a long long time despite still caring about Sthenelus but he doesn't realize how deeply he means to Sthenelus until YEARS later. I sadly don't have many fic ideas for them other than a basic confession and smaller moments throughout.

So like yeah, OdyDio is basically toxic exes because it's funny to me and because of how Odysseus treats Diomedes in the Iliad. They are basically this vine

Odysseus: Remember one time, I liked you? Diomedes: You mean the time when we were teenagers? When we were kissing but then you fucking bit me, called me names, and ran away? Odysseus: GOOD! Cuz never happened! >:D Diomedes: ... Odysseus: AH-HA! HAHA! 🤪 🖕(leaves, thinking he's "won") Diomedes:... Fucking...Fucking weirdo Sthenelus: Don't worry about him.😤 I don't even know why Athena likes him. Diomedes: That's exactly why she likes him...Why he's kind of cool too... Sthenelus: Oh ...Wanna make out? Diomedes: *sighs* Yeah.🥺

I don't know if I'll ever write this and if I'll just reference it. But basically, Odysseus and Diomedes FIRST met around 11-13 but didn't hang out as much as they're RIVALS. But had their "kiss" and "romance" when Odysseus was around 17 and Dio around 15-16. Odysseus just became king so he's just traveling just to do shit.

They're chilling but then they somehow get to talking about relationships as Odysseus has never really had one while Diomedes has. I have Odysseus Asexual/demisexual and basically had no relationship ever before because he has high fucking standards and usually gets mean to people who have a crush on him.

To me, Odysseus has always been a hopeless romantic (For Penelope, he plays wedding music when they reunite. their tree bed??? Men were expected to decorate their bedrooms before getting married but Odysseus went ALL FUCKING OUT WHEN HE DIDN'T NEED TO!!!|| How he talks to Penelope and talks about her??? He's canonically super romantic! He's always been a hopeless romantic and it's why he was "picky" about romance/marriage propositions before Penelope. anytime someone had a crush on him, he's not feeling it. He just fucks with them.

He's almost genuinely offended in a way, especially if they have barely spoken. Saying you want to hang out is fine as the friendship he's down for and you're safe as long as you don't flirt with him basically. But flirting or offering something??

A princess is now afraid of her woods because he pranked her to make her think it's haunted. Another young prince got set up related to Palamedes and was chased by geese up a tree. He has a reputation of being a BITCH. Part of the reason why Penelope is so fucking skeptical when he's all like "Please marry me!!! PLEASE!!! I'll do anything!!! I really genuinely want to marry you!!!". it's because of his asshole reputation to people who have crushes on him. He's a hopeless romantic from watching his parents interact and all the stories he's been told.

Irony is Penelope is the same as he is, so she treats him the same way. :'D What goes around comes around.

He often lies and says that Heracles is his favorite myth but Penelope gets him to admit it's actually PSYCHE'S myth that's his favorite. The going through hardships because you're so devoted??? 👀 Because you wish to reunite with your most important person/people??? RINGING ANY BELLS!!!!

ANYWAYS. They start talking and Diomedes talks about being aroace (different terms obviously) and Odysseus is so happy. There's someone out there like him! He always blamed his boar scar injury for why he is the way he is. (Post I made going into that) But now there's someone out there like him!

He already considers Diomedes a good friend/rival at this point so they have a bit of something. It gets to the point where they kiss. Mostly for Odysseus as he's never had one before and Diomedes was like "Well, we can always see if you feel something, and then stop." (he smooch Sthenelus but they have a QPR)

Odysseus is...neutral. About their kiss. This is what people freak out about? (I know Ancient Greece was openly affectionate. This is a mouth kiss and also, let me be dumb) He's just sitting, thinking.

Odysseus: "But...You're supposed to feel something?" Diomedes: Yeah? Kissing means you feel each others lips. It feels nice. Shows you care, you know? Odysseus: No, I mean where is bubbling emotions? What about all the songs and poems? Diomedes, being AroAce, younger, and genuinely not meaning to be insensitive and trying to simply tease: They're just poems, Odysseus. You just feel happy but it's none of the fancy words. I think you're making a big deal about this. I mean your lips are fucking chapped and you're a bad kisser but I still liked it, dude. It was still nice, right?"

Diomedes tries to say it as something playful and just messing around as I have a headcanon that Odysseus bites his lips a LOT. Just out of habit and as a (bad) fidget. But Odysseus is just...upset. This was supposed to be ROMANTIC! >:( Why would you say that?!?! He is embarrassed as this was supposed to be his first romantic kiss. :'(

Odysseus, being a hothead with no impulse control with rejection sensitivity, fucking bites Diomedes. Diomedes is ofc, confused and upset and then they just start fighting. Actually needing to be separated by others.

They don't see each other for a while....

They end up seeing each other again some while later. (probably some sort of competition) Where they apologize... but Odysseus still just... doesn't like Diomedes. Even though he knows HE'S the stupid one. Odysseus is prideful. Diomedes just reminds him of an extremely embarrassing, vulnerable moment where HE screwed up and he hates that..."Anytime I see him, I feel like wanna throw mud at him." Diomedes didn't do anything truly wrong but Odysseus is an unreliable narrator

They see each other again during the Suitors of Helen and Odysseus is kind of nervous what Diomedes will do as "Don't fuck this up for me, Son of Tydeus"

Diomedes is actually nice about it. He's happy for Odysseus. He's actually not too bothered by everything unlike Odysseus who holds grudges forever.

Diomedes: "So uh…dude." Odysseus: "What the fuck do you want? 🙄" Diomedes: "You like that daughter of Icarius, yeah? She's like, a naiad, right?" Odysseus, already clenching his fist in case he has to punch him: "…YEah." Diomedes, realizing he's fucked but continues anyways: "…Do you like her because she has sharp teeth?" Odysseus: "??? Not specifically?? Dude, what the fuck are you on about?" Diomedes: "…Well since you bit me when we kissed I didn't know if you were into it or somethin-" gets decked another fight breaks out between them

They are toxic 🤗 Odysseus is Diomedes' bully most of the time. Shoving him into lockers, gum in hair, He's an ASSHOLE. They kind of care about each other, but it has to be from a distance.

[remnants]

batfam and phones:

dick- iphone user and annoying about it. literally the worst omg. speaker phone all the time good luck calling him to have a private conversation because it's gonna be all over town by the end of the day, possibly even the next city over depending on where he is. and he always wants to face time! you text him to ask a simple yes/no question and all you get back is 'ft me' like come onnnnnn bro 😩.

jason- based android user 🤪💖. does NOT vibe with how far phones have come since he died. no he does not wanna talk to the robot phone lady NO he is not giving the phone his fingerprint or letting it scan his face you are crazy you are weird what is wrong with you. he sucks so bad at facetime too he just doesn't get it. he also thinks airpods are stupid <3

tim- the kind of iphone user that should really get an android. refuses to put a case on his phone because he's a menace to society and his own wallet. it's actually so tragic because if anyone could get the most out of those fancy iphone camera features it would be tim but nooooooooo he dropped his phone from the top of the dinosaur in the batcave last week and now the only thing he can do on it is tell siri to call people 😒.

steph- iphone user but hot? idk. shes on her third pair of airpods this month but she would rather die than buy a wire headphone adapter. her phone is always goingoff because she's in every groupchat ever and she sets so many alarms but forgets why she set them in the first place. uses air drop for nefarious purposes (a rare win for jason nation on the phone front 🥳).

ex: (most embarrassing highlight reel of all time. if you didn't think she saw you you're wrong because she did 💖)

duke- iphone user because bruce bought him his phone. he didn't wanna be rude! if he wasn't so worried about hurting bruce's feelings he'd switch to android so fast. will leave you on read intentionally as well as unintentionally it's his fatal flaw 💔. he's just not a big texter! he thinks about how to respond and then forgets to actually type it out and send it. you'd have better luck in a group chat rather than messaging him directly. his ringtone is probably some naruto op lol.

cass- also subjected to iphone because bruce bought her phone but she doesn't really care because she prefers being face to face anyway. do not call her she hates talking on the phone and she will not answer. she'll watch the phone ring and then text you after to get her point across. uses airdrop for good (jason nation loses once again 😔).

ex:

bruce- iphone user but doesn't care about the whole debate. most of his kids have iphones so he has one to make getting in touch with them easier (sorry jason lol 🤭). sets his phone up on a stand so whenever you ft him he looks like he's in a zoom meeting. responses to texts are either entire essays or a simple 'k'. there is no in between.

damian- another bruce appointed iphone user who could not care less. also absolutely terrible at facetime. him and jason get it from talia 💖. tbh the only things he uses his phone for are, setting alarms, googling things for homework assignments and drawing references, and the cheese viking mobile game.

[karamazovposting]

On Ivan and bipolar disorder (part four)

Since this is (finally) the last part of this essay and I've already previously mentioned what it will be about, I don't have an introduction to make, but I do think I need to give a couple disclaimers before getting right into this mess. First one: I have a lot of explaining to do because this gets medical again and I can't just assume you all know exactly what I'm talking about and/or to what extent; I hope I won't overexplain or sound condescending. On this same note, I forgot to open part one by explaining that bipolar disorder is a chronic mental illness that is treatable through lifelong medication and not necessarily lifelong therapy but not curable because to me that's a given, so sorry if you didn't have much knowledge on the topic and had to read my yapping with little or even no context. Second one: I will be using some words (such as "delusional") that are to be taken literally, in the medical sense. I'm not saying this because I think you are all stupid of course, but to highlight the seriousness of what I've been talking about these past months; it seems to me that lately medical terminology regarding mental health has been watered down a lot by Internet culture to the point of it losing its meaning, with memes about being "delulu 🤪" or reducing mania to dyeing your hair by yourself at 2 AM leading people to not take these things seriously. I don't mean to be a spoilsport or anything, I like and share those memes too but I've actually been (hypo)manic and delusional in the past so I guess I have the right to joke about it at least. Maybe it's not that serious but I want it to be serious at least here, which is also why I've never referred to episodes as "mood swings". I don't do that in real life either, even when talking to people who don't know much about bipolar disorder, because I've always found the term reductive and misleading: everyone has mood swings, it came free with being a human being. In my opinion it contributes to the misunderstanding of this disorder and the people who have it; no, we are not moody by default and no, we don't change our minds every five minutes or are happy one moment and then suddenly sad the next (seriously, who came up with these stereotypes and how?), but I digress.

This said, let's get down to business. I want to start with one detail that is either one of the most absurd coincidences in the entire history of literature or proof that Dostoevsky was somewhat somehow familiar with bipolar disorder and decided to integrate some things he witnessed in Ivan's character (I guess without knowing, as at the time there was very little understanding of it to the point it wasn't really considered an illness and was referred to as circular insanity and later as manic-depression, which are both cooler names than bipolar disorder but again I digress) because I swear I can't find any other explanation for it: the timeline of The Brothers Karamazov. It might seem like a very small detail, but as soon as I figured out the timeline I thought of fucking course. Now, we all know the timeline of this novel is a little confusing at first as there are almost no indicators of how much time has passed between Alyosha running from one house to another first and shit going down second, but in the first half of the novel we know it all starts in late August and honestly I didn't make anything of it, but then the timeline becomes clearer after Dmitri's arrest and we end up in early November for the trial and I mean, nothing particularly interesting or peculiar about a book covering the events of a (little over) two-month timespan, right? Technically yes, because it's not the amount of time that has passed that matters, but the time of the year: if it all had, for example, taken place from late June to early August or from late December to early February I wouldn't even be talking about it, because there's no seasonal change taking place in those months. August to November, however, is another story. I also find it interesting that it's the change from warm to cold weather, as it's the one that's the hardest for most people (for me personally it's the opposite, the shift from Winter to Spring is a nightmare, but I'm a rare case when it comes to that); I don't really know why, but the seasonal changes are always delicate periods for people with bipolar disorder as they can trigger episodes, I guess it's pretty much the same mechanism that occurs in seasonal depression. So, let me lay the timeline out for you: the Karamazovs reunite in late August, Ivan leaves a few days after, Fyodor is murdered shortly after, so probably in early September and Dmitri is arrested the same night, then Ivan comes back five days later, the trial takes place in early November the day after Pavel hangs himself, and Dmitri is sentenced five days before the story ends with Ilyusha's funeral. This timeline detail seriously drives me insane because all the other puzzle pieces I've been putting together for a while could be related to other disorders/conditions as well, such as schizophrenia (schizoaffective bipolar disorder is a thing too but I don't have it so I can't really say anything about it) and autism (autism and bipolar disorder have a lot in common), or even to just personality, but this? It's a little too oddly specific in my opinion, but I'll just keep assuming it's a coincidence for the sake of my own mental health.

Anyway, this means the story starts when a seasonal change is approaching, which is already a delicate time on its own, and Ivan has to put himself in an unpleasant situation that has a high chance of turning into a shitshow (and it does): going somewhere he wants to leave as soon as possible to discuss things he doesn't want to discuss surrounded by people he doesn't want to deal with. That's not a good start at all and it would be enough to put me, someone who has been medicated for seven years, on edge (and it has in the past); no wonder he's pissed off all the time. And it's only the start since, as we all know, the worst is yet to come. I love that the reader only gets bits and pieces of the build-up of Ivan's episode through the other characters' points of view and I particularly love how said build-up reaches its climax; it doesn't happen when Ivan hallucinates the devil (as it's mentioned he's seen him before and has also had other similar experiences in the past, I'll get into that later), but exactly a moment before that. But first, let's focus on the main build-up moments we see bits and pieces of before that. I was impressed by how realistically the whole thing was portrayed, especially considering that at the time almost everyting about this disorder was unknown; still to this day, in 2024, many people think bipolar disorder is a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation, with the person being "normal" one day and waking up "crazy" the next like some sort of magic happening overnight, but that's straight up not true, it doesn't happen. Bipolar disorder is way more rational than one would think (very fitting for Ivan, isn't it?) and at times you do have an awful amount of self-awareness but can do nothing with it, it's kind of like being stuck in the passenger seat of a car with a broken steering wheel and broken breaks that's speeding straight against a wall; you know what's happening but can do nothing but watch and hope the crash won't be that painful. And that's how I felt reading too, every time I saw those bits and pieces of Ivan's story I thought oh no it's happening. And Ivan knows it's happening too, as we see in Book Eleven.

I've focused on The brothers get acquainted, Rebellion and The Grand Inquisitor already, but I have to mention them again because as I've already explained they're such a pivotal point; before that we don't really know what Ivan's deal is, but as soon as we get acquainted (sorry, I had to) with him we start to notice that something's definitely up, and there is one seemingly small detail that I just can't get out of my head: when Ivan gets up and starts walking after his talk with his brother, Aleksej points out to himself that he's swaying a little. Considering it's implied that Ivan has a problem with alcohol (it runs in the family after all) in other occasions too, that's probably an indicator that Ivan had been drinking during his stay. Not only is there a strong link between bipolar disorder and substance abuse (how could there not be? Shit's tough and sometimes you have to self medicate, especially in the 1800s), but alcohol and drugs can trigger episodes or make them worse; Ivan is also once again dealing with everything alone and trust me, that's recipe for disaster. And of course after that the aforementioned metaphorical car does nothing but gain speed and Ivan increasingly becomes angrier, restless and frantic: he has trouble sleeping, he starts isolating himself even more, he talks faster, his thoughts start racing, his speech pattern becomes more and more incoherent and he can't stay still as he's mentioned walking back and forth for seemingly no reason in different occasions; all textbook symptoms. He visibly looks sick too and bipolar episodes are known to take a toll on your physical appearance (I looked like a walking corpse for years) as well as having physical symptoms manifest along the psychological/psychiatric ones, such as headaches caused by stress, which Ivan frequently has, because stress is a major trigger for bipolar disorder (and Ivan is undeniably quite stressed). Sleep also plays a huge role when it comes to bipolar disorder as it can quite literally determine your faith: the the very first sign to watch out for if you feel something might be wrong is a change in sleeping habits; if they start changing significantly it means something's definitely up and you need to intervene as soon as possible (I have prevented episodes from either spiraling or happening at all like that but it takes years of practice). Ivan's sleep schedule, if we can even call it that, during his episode reminds me of my own during an insane (no pun intended?) mixed episode I've had and it makes sense since after every manic episode comes a "crash", and during mixed episodes you can crash back and forth for days; it happened to me. But what is a manic crash? It can be summed up with a simple phrase: what comes up must come down. It's like throwing a ball in the air, it reaches its peak up there and after that it's all downhill until it crashes down on the ground and the higher it goes, harder the crash: if you stay up all night while manic, you'll sleep all day while depressed, the more euphoric you are, the more dysphoric you'll be; so it makes sense for Ivan to sleep more and more as he "comes down". As for the fever, stress can do that. Brain fever is nothing but a 19th century literature thing because it's not a real diagnosis and at the time severe emotional and psychological upset was classified as either that or hysteria, which isn't a real diagnosis either.

Another puzzle piece that fits way too well is that little mention of him tidying his room himself despite having someone to do it for him; I know it's probably thrown in there to highlight his self-isolating independence, but cleaning and tidying are very common (to the point it's almost a cliché) activities to do when you're having a (hypo)manic or mixed episode because they help getting rid of all the extra energy and give you a sense of control over your life; for me it's almost compulsive (compulsions and obsessive thoughts are common in bipolar disorder because bipolar disorder is like three different conditions in a trenchcoat), I've found myself obsessively cleaning my bathroom every day for months and fighting the compulsion to do the dishes even when it wasn't necessary. It's mentioned that Ivan feels the increasing loss of control and is ashamed of it, which brings us to the very important topics, when it comes to him, of self-awareness and control.

I already mentioned it in part one but I want to say it again: control is crucial when it comes to bipolar disorder; something out of your control happening in your life or not having enough control over your symptoms and emotions is enough to send you down (or up) a dangerous path (sounds familiar?). It takes years of treatment to be able to deal with the unexpected and to let go of this control freak attitude, but Ivan is riding this rollercoaster with no seat belt so here we are. I think this reflects best in his attitude when visiting Pavel in the hospital after Dmitri's arrest, when Ivan says he came back from Moscow as soon as possible to fix the mess they all made in his absence. He's particularly keen on letting Pavel know he has no intention of playing games and it's clear he has a no bullshit allowed policy when it comes to his family, which checks out with what I went over in part three: Ivan's presence in the Karamazov household means quiet and order. Ivan definitely has a strong personality and to me it feels like that kind of strong personality one has to develop to stay afloat, and considering Ivan is not comfortable with showing "weakness"...well; I'll get to that later. I don't know if it's a middle child thing because I'm not a middle child but I'm the only diagnosed and medicated person in a family that feels more like an emotional minefield and let me tell you, I've been running that shit like it's the Navy for years and I'm pretty sure I'm the only case of a youngest son with eldest daughter syndrome in human history and yes, it's a bipolar thing. The need for control is so strong that it extends to your surroundings and therefore the people around you; I don't know how to explain it because it's not a manipulation thing, it's an I can't deal with my own emotions so having someone express theirs in an extreme way makes me uncomfortable and I also need a stable environment to not lose my mind so I need to de-escalate any situation that might trigger me thing; it's cleaning up after other people's mess for your own sake. And maybe a little savior complex, at least in my case. Anyway, if Ivan keeps his family stable he keeps himself stable as well, so he has to take matters into his own hands even when it's too late. Damage control is a very important skill if you have bipolar disorder.

I've already been over Ivan's visceral anger so I won't go over it again, but I want to spend a few words for that one part where he punches Pavel: been there done that, and normally I'm not even a violent person. It was a pretty similar situation too: someone had been tormenting me for months while I already wasn't doing good at all, took it too far one day and I just snapped; I didn't even mean to hit that person but it's not something you can gain control over when it gets to that point, so I get where Ivan was coming from and I'll defend him until the day I die.

Since I'm going in chronological order, as you might have already noticed, this means I've finally reached the fun part. Brace yourselves, this is going to be long. I don't have much to say about the whole devil ordeal that hasn't already been said, after all it's the most blatant manifestation of Ivan's mental health status, and I think it's more important to focus on what's around the hallucination rather than the hallucination itself. The first and most important thing I noticed is that Ivan is not scared, and it makes sense for him to not be because the narrator says that situation feels familiar to Ivan, making this the second time it's mentioned by the narrator that Ivan has a past history of both depressive and dysphoric manic (usually referred to as mixed) episodes, which alone qualifies for a formal bipolar disorder diagnosis; now that I think about it I could have just said this instead of making four posts about it, but where's the fun in that? Also I don't have enough information to armchair diagnose this 19th century fictional character with a specific type of bipolar disorder, so I laid out all the relevant information for you to interpet it however you want, if you're familiar with this stuff. I think he could be either bipolar I or bipolar II as there aren't many differences between those two types. For reference, I'm bipolar II (electric boogalo), which is usually mainly depressive and has less intense "ups" (mania when it's bipolar I and hypomania when it's bipolar II, but mania and manic are often used as umbrella terms and I've used them as such in this). Ivan's episode seems more mixed (having both manic and depressive symptoms at the same time, I should've explained it earlier, sorry) than purely manic and mixed episodes are more likely to happen in bipolar II and/or to those who start having symptoms in adolescence regardless of type and I think that checks out (go to part two for that). However, hallucinating a whole person and having conversations with them is a pretty big deal and my own hallucinations are nothing like that, usually hearing noises such as knocks on my door or seeing shadows or bugs at the corner of my eye and things looking slightly off and changing in shape and size; nothing big that I can interact with and I can easily ignore that the rare times it happens. Wikipedia says that any kind of hallucination classifies as mania, but my psychiatrists obviously know I've hallucinated in the past and still haven't changed my diagnosis so don't trust Wikipedia I guess, probably because my hypomanic episodes have never significantly impaired my ability to function (like they haven't significantly impaired Ivan's; trust me, he could be doing much worse). There is a lot of nuance that Internet articles lack in my opinion.

Anyway, let's go back to focusing on how Ivan feels: he's not scared, but he is exhausted and desperate. And it's heartbreaking. Not the hardest part of The Brothers Karamazov for me to read, not at all actually, but way too familiar. Ivan, who has a strong personality and a no bullshit allowed policy, who usually speaks in a firm voice and who refused to get help even if he knew his mental state was getting worse, breaks down (in private, of course) and begs and pleads; please leave me alone, shut up. He goes back and forth between desperation and rage (very mixed episode of him) and what struck me the most is how harsh his words are: almost every time the devil says something, Ivan replies with an insult or even more in a row. Yes, it's not that atypical of him considering how he talks and refers to Pavel or Dmitri, but it's, again, heartbreaking because he's never acted like that with them (or even with his father) and he knows the devil is actually himself. He's reserving his worst words, his worst attitude, his most burning and consuming rage and hatred, for himself. And he knows that. Worst thing of all to me is that at some point he covers his ears to not hear the devil, his own thoughts, and I've done that. Sometimes those thoughts are so loud that they seem to come from an outside source and covering your ears comes naturally. It obviously doesn't work. I have many other thoughts about Ivan's devil but they don't have much to do with bipolar disorder so maybe I'll write another post in the future if I feel like it. Also honorable mention to the thrown glass because apparently I've done something similar once even if I genuinely don't remember it at all (bipolar disorder also causes memory loss so you barely rememeber your episodes, it's kind of like trying to recall the events of a party you got drunk at, we're not getting into that though).

Maybe I see Ivan's story and character as less dark and tragic than the average reader does, because to most people constantly walking up and down restless with racing, out of control, incoherent thoughts and experiencing delusions and hallucinations is understandably a terrifying experience, but for me up until a couple years ago that was just a random Tuesday. I mean it is terrifying but you get used to it, after a while you understand the twisted logic bipolar disorder operates under and it becomes less scary (still is at times) and more annoying, you try to keep up with your meds and manage your symptoms as best as you can and just go on with your life while still trying to fight it when/if you can (it's less depressing than how I'm describing it I swear, I really don't know how to convey that feeling). I don't see myself as a walking tragedy or as doomed (anymore), mental illness is just mundane to me and so is to Ivan; I think Dostoevsky did a marvelous job at portraying just how uneventful it can feel from the inside and we see it the contrast between what's happening to Ivan and his reaction to it and also between the other characters' perception of him and his own perception of himself. There is nothing other than concern coming from his loved ones, no judgment, they acknowledge that he's unwell and they usually refer to him as such; Ivan on the other hand refuses to and therefore refuses to take care of himself or, God forbid, let others take care of him. He knew an episode was approaching, but as long as he was physically okay his mental state didn't matter to him. Ivan's biggest flaw is that he's independent and self-absorbed (for lack of a better word) in an unhealthy, negative, bipolar way and it only fuels his anger: the only valid judgment and opinion of himself is his own and he doesn't have a positive view of himself. The devil tells him the people at the trial will pity him and Ivan snaps; he doesn't want to be pitied, he doesn't want to be seen as "weak" because he has internalized refusal for "weakness" and "cowardice" (he asks himself if he's a coward in different occasions, sometimes straight up calling himself that). How could he not have internalized it? He was neglected growing up and as an adult he always seems to be held at an impossible standard due to the way his personality was forced to develop, from being expected to keep the peace between the Karamazovs to even after his father is brutally murdered; at the trial Ippolit Kirillovič says that if Ivan was so sure of his brother's innocence, why didn't go to the police after Smerdyakov's confession? To them that must mean said confession never happened and that Dmitri is the murderer, but in reality Ivan (poor thing) didn't go because he was delusional and thought the two of them were going to confess together the following day. People expect him to be able to think straight and fix his family's mess even when he can't. And still, he doesn't break down even at the trial: he's firm even in his delirium, he never falters, his voice never breaks, he's determined and strong like he's expected to be, even if the others can't see it. He does the right thing for himself, not caring about anyone else's opinion, and in a sense he's some sort of modern Cassandra, cursed to tell the truth without being believed by those who can save his family (and in some versions of Cassandra's myth she goes mad due to witnessing the fall of Troy). He never cries; there's only one mention of him crying in the whole novel and contrary to other characters crying, it's not something we are told by the narrator himself but it's thrown in a conversation between Katya and Alyosha by Katya. Ivan only cried in private, in front of the person who insisted to take care of him. This talk about his relationship with "weakness" and the (partial) act he puts up definitely makes more sense in relation to part three and I hope you get what I'm trying to say.

Speaking of the trial, I was struck by the attention brought to the Karamazovs', as a whole, ability to see and navigate through two opposite abysses. Dostoevsky, what the hell? Does it mean what I think it means? I don't know, but it sure is a familiar image to me and Dmitri does seem to walk the fine line between regular human behaviour and diagnostic criteria, but I don't have many thoughts about that, it could be anything really, mostly because none of them are actual real people. My own interpretation of those characters is more "literal" even if I know they're just tools to convey certain topics and messages and if you want to get more symbolic with them please do, I'd love to read it. Honestly I like the idea of a character with a heavily emotion-driven arc such as Ivan having a disorder that fucks with one's emotions so much; also seeing someone behaving like me being treated with tact and a particular kind of sensitivity by the other characters and the author himself is so special to me (at least considering the historical context, I mean they could've just thrown him in a madhouse and called it a day but nobody even thought about doing that) because uhm...I didn't receive such kindness growing up.

There are many characters from other books, movies, and shows that I love and relate to but have never seen as bipolar coded in any way, they were just relatable, but Ivan hits different as he's the first character I've seen that is so unapologetically bipolar. I've watched shows and movies with characters that canonically have bipolar disorder and even they can't hold a candle to him (let bipolar people or at least people who are familiar with them write bipolar characters I'm begging you). There isn't a single character from The Brothers Karamazov that I hate or even dislike (yes, not even Fyodor, he's not a good person but he's a good character) and all the brothers are special to me, but I just can't help having this soft spot for Ivan, I want to give him a hug and my meds.

I'm not really going to talk about Ivan's ending because while I do obviously have things to say, they don't belong here. I just want to say that him having an open and uncertain ending (I love open and uncertain endings) even more than the other characters do is very fitting.

And that's a wrap! Thanks for sticking with me and I hope this was an interesting and maybe even educational (there's a lot of ignorance regarding bipolar disorder and I try to raise awareness every time I can) read, but most of all I hope I managed to make sense. I like this part more than part three because I wrote it after surviving the seasonal change while during part three I was in the trenches but oh well, the past is past. No notes on part one and two, those are good I guess. Also I've said variations of been there done that a ridiculous amount of times in this whole thing but my Twitter display name is Ivan Karamazov kinnie for a reason. And I won't apologize for the shitty jokes by the way.

See you soon* with other literary analysis!

*= don't rely on my words too much, it could be tomorrow like it could be in ten years

[thomas-mvller]

Tag games x 3!

Right so i was tagged by some lovely people to do three tag games. Thank you so much and sorry for the delay 🙏

Tagging pretty much the first twenty people in my notes just because idk who to tag (no pressure!): @lewypool @youknowitsworthfightingfor @chelleisamazing @shrimpeon @gxtzeizm @be-lucky-again @captainaudax @fcbalding @miss-i-ship-it @probayern @fabioquartararhoe @footballandfiasco @football-sucks @acrazybayernfan @ysommer @debushit @footballandshit @miasanmuller @o-lin-jokeis @lokilow-keystabbing and whoever wants to do these! just say i tagged you (especially with the songs one I'm in NEED for new stuff 🙏)!

Here we go:

I was tagged by my brother from another mother aka ander aka @miasanmuller to do this pic crew thingy and i want to say sorry for the delay because for some gosh darned reason the link just wouldn't work for me???? had to use another device to make it work so yeah, sorry and thank you 🥺

Here's the link to do this kind of pic, you don't have to be 100% accurate like just have fun (even though i did try to make it look as accurate as possiblexdxd)

The only fake thing about this is that my snakebites are gone 😭 maybe i should get them repierced...

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I was tagged by @acrazybayernfan to list 10 songs I've been obsessing with lately, thank you lise! 😘

In no particular order:

- stinkin thinkin by happy mondays

- six months in a leaky boat - split enz

- solitude standing - suzanne vega

- here comes the moon - george harrison

- he barrido el sol - los tres

- antologia - shakira

- somewhere down the crazy river - robbie robertson

- i don't care - shakespears sister

- Коханці - the hardkiss

- get a life - midge ure ft. jbk

The title of this mix is "going through it even though idk what I'm going through because none of these go with each other" 🤪

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I was tagged by @o-lin-jokeis to do this other piccrew pic thingy and it's adorable, thanks lin! 😄

Here's the link to do this cute edit:

ISN'T THIS ADORABLE???

The funniest thing is that i indeed own that frog hat, courtesy of my pal fath from sg ♡

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Well that's about it! have a lovely week everyone ^^

[stardusthuntress]

What Does Beauty Look Like? 

Sergeant Hunter x female!reader (if you want a gender neutral version, just say something and I’ll make a second version of this or any of my pieces!) 

Word Count: ~3.5K

TW: jealousy, body dysmorphia (reader’s feelings), so kinda angsty; no use of y/n; maybe a touch of exhibitionism, if ya squint; sorta getting smutty again, so 18+ only! I think that's it, but lemme know if I missed anything (not beta'd)!

Summary: Hunter’s love is struggling to feel pretty, so he takes it upon himself to make sure she knows how attractive she is to him. His brothers make a point to do the same (Hunter and reader are clearly a thing, but if you wanna read this as though it's poly you can do that too, I tried to leave it a little open-ended so that that would be up to you as the reader! If you have a problem with that then, move along, move along)  

EDIT: I FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE DRIODS GUYS!!! They're a part of this family too! I fixed it! AZI and Gonky are now in the story! And I had forgotten to translate all the Mando'a terms, sorry! dictionary is at the top, but below the cut now! And fixed a few typos I spotted along the way too.

A/N: You guys! I just cranked out another fic! Idk why I can only really do them in one sitting lately, but hey, it's not a bad rhythm! And I tend to write the stuff I need to read, so I hope this resonates with others out there too! And I NEEDED to get started on Hunter-focused fics, so here's my first one for you guys!

EDIT: I FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE DRIODS GUYS!!! They're a part of this family too! I fixed it! AZI and Gonky are now in the story! And I had forgotten to translate all the Mando'a terms, sorry! dictionary is at the top, but below the cut now! And fixed a few typos I spotted along the way too.

Fun fact: the dumb question Tech gets asked is a legitimate question I was asked by an adult while in college. You know what they say, never piss off a writer or they will immortalize your idiocy for all eternity 🤪 everyone has bad moments and I still hope that question was just someone forgetting to think it through before opening their mouth, but every now and again it still haunts me that it was not a child that asked me that question. So now it can haunt you too! Hehe!

Mando'a: Ad'ika = little one (a name for one's children; literally ad = "son/daughter" mando'a is gender neutral, and "ika" = little) Mesh'la = Beautiful Sarad = flower

Hunter-specific dividers by @djarrex

For several months now, the Bad Batch has been more than a band of nearly-identical brothers and their little sister. Ever since the day Hunter fell in love and found the courage to ask the woman he fell for if she would join them on their adventures, with his family’s blessing of course, it went from 6 to 7. 

One night, they find themselves eating dinner in a tavern while several very attractive people make every effort to catch the eyes of the men. 

Hunter has no interest in the new people, even though they are clearly interested in him. He only has eyes for one woman, his lover. He and Omega head back to the ship, having barely even met the new strangers the rest of his men are so interested in before noticing Omega was getting tired. He brought her back to the ship, alone, and now tracks their comms from the ship to make sure the others are all safe. As he watches, one of the dots on his screen departs the group and heads for a lake not far away. It’s hers, his lover’s. 

He checks on Omega one last time, nodding to AZI, before heading out and closing up the ship behind him. Tech will be along soon to keep an eye on her. Not that Tech isn’t interested in a partner, but Hunter knows Tech isn’t usually the type for one night stands. Which is rather handy for Hunter in situations like this, when he needs one more adult to keep an eye on the kid (AZI was helpful, but not trained for defense if need be) when he wants to spend a little alone time with his partner. 

He catches up with her and can tell by her body language that she needs him. She’s sitting on a rock, hugging her knees, chin tucked on top, eyes closed. As he watches, she shifts, sighing, clearly trying to hold it in, looking up at the sky above her. Pain sits in her eyes, but he knows this is not physical pain, but internal pain. 

He sits down behind her, one knee on either side of her, and wraps his body around her, pulling her into his chest. But where she would normally smile and lean back into him, she barely reacts at all. 

“My strong, brilliant, gorgeous woman” he whispers in her ear. She turns her head a fraction, acknowledging his presence and words. He knows how to get her attention when she’s down. He also knows of her body dysmorphia. The whole team does. She only told Hunter, but Crosshair and Echo figured it out pretty quick, confirmed the symptoms and her body language with Tech, and asked Hunter about it. She doesn’t know they know about it though. He made them promise never to say anything about it, he knows she didn’t even want him to figure it out, but he wasn’t about the let the woman he loves suffer through it alone. 

“Talk to me, Love,” he whispers in her ear “what’s up?” 

She sighs. She couldn’t hide anything from Hunter even if she tried. “They say it’s not about whether or not a woman is pretty. But as soon as someone who IS pretty shows up, it’s like they forget I even exist, and all the things they said to me about it just evaporate into thin air.” 

“I think they just want what we have,” Hunter counters. 

“Still doesn't change the fact that I’m NOT one of the lucky ones who gets to be pretty. You deserve someone who at least matches you, Hunter. Couldn’t you feel the glances at us, the way those women clearly could tell you deserve more than what I can give you?” 

“They are shallow and just looking for a quick lay, you know I’m not that kind of guy.” 

“Pretty sure any of them would have agreed to date you without hesitation, Hunter” 

“Doesn’t mean they have what I need in a partner” he nuzzles into her shoulder “You know what I like. I like a woman who’s good with kids, who can hold her own both in combat and in conversation with my brothers - I know my family is a lot. I like a woman who is independent and self sufficient even before she joins my squad. I like a woman with a brilliant mind who uses it to protect others. None of them had that.” 

“Must have been at least one with a mind in there to entertain Tech.” 

“Na, he usually just rambles to see if one of them will listen. But it’s not like any of them can keep up with him anyways, and he knows that. He’s not really interested in them, just is bored and has someone new to listen to him. Wouldn’t be surprised if he comes looking for us soon enough.” 

“What about the others?” She’s not convinced. 

“Well, Crosshair and Wrecker just like the attention and don’t mind a quick lay. Echo needs a quick lay to prove to him he’s still got it. The guys are only interested in them because they are just temporary. If they really wanted a woman to stick around they wouldn’t go for one that made you feel uncomfortable, they each know the pain of that feeling themselves and they adore you and would hate knowing their actions made you feel that way.” 

“I’m still not attractive, Hunter.” 

Hunter looks at her, astonished that she’s still not aware of the effect she has on him “I suppose, you think that because you can’t see the way your eyes sparkle when you’ve found a new challenge you want to take on. You can’t see the way your laughter lights up your whole body. You can’t see how beautiful you look when you’re concentrating on something, like when you’re reading a book and your mind is in a different universe. You can’t see how you glow when you get a chance to be a mother to Omega, especially when she falls asleep curled into you. You can’t see how beautiful it is when you’re so focused on doing something right that you bite those luscious lips of yours. Nor how good your ass looks when you bend over while working on the ship with us. And you have no idea what all of that does to me. I guess I usually steal glances at you when you’re doing little things. And I don’t know why I try to sneak glances when you aren’t looking. Maybe next time I should let my gaze wander long enough that you know when I’m checking you out.” 

He plants a long kiss on her ear, and his hands begin to wander. Rubbing every inch of her within his reach. Her chest, her arms, her legs, her shoulders. Anything that holds her close to him. His mouth begins to wander too. It moves from her ear, where it’s been during their conversation, to trail kisses down her neck, which become open-mouthed as they reach her shoulders, sucking passionately. 

She opens to him. Head falling back onto his shoulder, breathing heavy, whispering his name to the heavens like a prayer. Feeling his member harden behind her at the use of his name. 

“I know what you need, Love.” He whispers back. “Let me take care of you tonight. Let me lay all my love on you, be it sexual or not. Let me love you like no man ever has. I know it will take time for this to heal, and that I cannot fix it for you, but let my love help you see that you are attractive, not just in mind and soul, but also in body. Let me show you how gorgeous you are to me, every inch of you. And I swear I will never hide another glance at your body from you. I love all of you, and I need you to feel that.”

“Oh, Hunter!” She mueled as he continued caressing her body. 

He could hear the tears in her eyes with every noise she made as she gave in to his touch. 

“I’m here, Gorgeous” his gravelly voice sending shivers down her spine, knowing that it was her he was describing that way, and that he genuinely meant it. 

Without letting go, he maneuvers around her and scoops her up, bridal style. 

“Let’s find a spot that’s softer to lay you out on, my Love.” 

He carries her to a bed of moss and lays her down gently. Then with a smirk, he dives in for a passionate kiss, covering her body with his own, and letting his body weight act like her personal weighted blanket.

When her hands begin to try to reciprocate and make him feel good too, he takes her hands in his - not her wrists, he wants this to be gentle and sensual, not dominating - and holds them above her head. 

“Not tonight, my Love. Tonight I need to make you feel good. Just let me hear you, you know what your voice does to me.” 

Tech has detached himself from the group and is looking for his Seargent and favorite conversationalist. Tracking Hunter’s comm signal, he follows it to a quiet spot by a lake, hidden by trees and covered in soft mosses. At first he finds it odd that they are so far from the ship when Omega is still on the ship, until a noise makes its way to him as he approaches. A noise like a whimper puts him on high alert, and he ducks out of view behind a tree, listening closely. But the second sound that reaches him puts him at ease. It’s her voice, moaning Hunter’s name. Still hidden behind the tree, he relaxes, and smiles to himself. 

“Good” he whispers, mostly to himself, “bed her well Brother. Give her a night she won’t soon forget, as rare a gem as she. She needs to know how much she means to us. Make sure she feels it, Brother.” 

He quietly departs, not wanting his presence to ruin the moment for them. 

Hunter, still covering the woman he loves in kisses, surfaces for a moment, and glances through the trees. He looks back down at the woman beneath him and finds her eyes, enjoying getting lost in them for a moment. She’s getting her glow back, but Hunter is far from done. And now he doesn’t have to worry about how long they have been out here, now that someone is back at the ship with Omega. 

The next morning, camped in the sunlight on a new planet, the team begins to wake up. Most still groggy, they reaching for extra caf. Hunter, still spooning his love, wakes to the sight of the love of his life curled around little Omega, both still sleeping soundly. But Tech took watch all night that night, as he usually prefers to do on nights like this (something about no one else being sober nor focused enough after a night of ‘wild abandon’ as he called it, to actually keep watch), and someone needs to relieve him. So he plants a long kiss on her temple, enjoying how she stirs a little beneath him, but doesn’t wake up. 

“Sleep, Mesh’la, I need to give Tech a break.” 

He tucks his girls in and heads to the cockpit. 

Tech looks up when he enters, and gives him a knowing smirk. 

“I think she’s starting to feel it” Hunter’s voice is a little extra gravelly with sleep. 

Tech’s eyebrows raise in question. 

Hunter smirks in return. “How rare a gem she is, and how much she means to us,” quoting Tech from the night before. 

“Ah, so you were aware of my presence. It was not my goal to disturb you.” 

Hunter lets a laugh surface for a moment “I kinda hoped you would hear it when you came looking for us. I knew you would look for us. She needs the encouragement of knowing when you lot seek her company.” He glances back over his shoulder to where she and Omega continued to sleep peacefully, “When she wakes up, don’t hide your appreciation for her, make sure she knows how much she means to all of us. Yeah?” 

Tech smiles, and nods. 

“But as far as she’s concerned, you didn’t hear it from me. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t hear us last night” he winks at his brother. 

Tech’s smile widens, and he nods. 

When she does wake, she finds the men and Omega enjoying the fresh air and sights of the beautiful new planet Tech brought them to during the night. 

Hunter’s legs are stretched out along the side of the entire ramp as he leans back against the door frame, eyes closed. Tech sits on the other side of the ramp and a bit farther down, a project in hand, spilling onto Gonky, who sat at Tech's side next to the ramp.  

She snuggles up to Hunter, sitting between him and Tech. Hunter wraps an arm around her in return, checking her eyes to make sure her glow is returning, and smiling brightly back at her when he finds it. 

“Good morning, Love” he kisses her hair, and she leans into him with a relaxing sigh. 

Tech exchanges another knowing glance with him. 

“How was your night, Tech?” She asks, still holding on tightly to Hunter. He can tell she’s trying not to brace for a story about another woman, and an endless description of how pretty she was. 

“Fine,” Tech responds, matter-of-factly, “finally got a chance to finish a few projects I’ve been working on for far too long.” 

Something about the way he doesn’t even mention the women that were chatting them up the night before, almost as if he’s forgotten them already (he has), makes her feel a little better. 

Hunter can feel her relaxing against him. He smiles. 

“And you? It sounded like you two had a good night last night.” Tech’s attention is still on his project, and he acts as though he did not just say he caught them making love the night before. 

“Uh,” she glances at Hunter, and finds a mischievous look awaiting her there. So he had known Tech overheard. She blushed. “Yeah.” Her eyes trailed to the ground, she didn’t mind that he had heard, but she wasn’t exactly expecting him to bring it up so nonchalantly either. “And you?” She tossed the question back at him, not exactly sure what else to do. 

“They, were not my type,” he answered, simply. “One of them asked how water gets back up to the top of a river, because they thought they were essentially circular by nature. I left shortly thereafter. However, you should ask the other three that question, as each of them attempted to sneak into the ship very early this morning. None of them successfully snuck into the ship, but since they did not wake you, Hunter, nor Omega, I suppose they did not entirely fail, either. But I thought you would all appreciate waking up in a place like this instead of stuck amidst the stink of that city.” 

She and Hunter laughed at his story. 

“Much appreciated, it is beautiful here. All in all, not a bad night though, despite the shallowness of the company?” Hunter asked. 

“Affirmative. It was nice to finally finish up a few projects. Speaking of, I believe that completes one more.” Tech seems to be done fiddling with the project in his lap and holds it out to her, “the reading light you wanted.” 

She looks at it, surprise etched onto her face, and then her eyes move to Tech as though she’s missing something. 

“Crosshair saw you eyeing one at that book stall a few planets ago,” Tech explains. 

She looked over to where Crosshair sat, alone, but not far away, and caught him watching her out of the corner of his eye. He nodded at her, confirming Tech’s story. 

“It took me a while longer than I liked to acquire all the parts and complete it for you. Echo helped discreetly acquire the pieces and keep my designs for it out of sight so that it would be a surprise for you. I know you’ve probably already finished the books you bought that day, but for the next time we find you some new books.” 

She takes it and turns it on, examining it, a smile on her face. 

“I made sure to make it not too bright so it won’t wake Hunter if you want to read at night, but not dim enough to strain your eyes,” he supplies, always ready with more info. 

“Thank you, Tech. I didn’t realize anyone had noticed that, let alone cared enough to make one for me. You have so many projects you’re working on already, you didn’t have to do this for me.” 

“I wanted to do this for you. You mean a great deal to all of us, not just because Hunter loves you. As you know, we do not let just anyone stay with us. This is my way of saying thank you for all the little things you do for us. Do not think we do not notice them.” 

Her eyes are glossy as she leans over to hug him “thank you, Tech. You’ve no idea how much this means to me.” Tech reciprocates the hug, and Hunter smiles at him from behind her, nodding at his brother. 

She leans back into Hunter, resting her head on his shoulder, clutching her new reading light to her chest. 

Hunter pulls her close, and whispers in her ear “See? You mean the galaxy to all of us.” 

“How do I know you didn’t set that up just to make me feel better?” She giggles, but her voice is quiet, not wanting the others to hear. 

“Then trust me that he did not ‘set it up’, I have been working on it since we visited that bookshop and left early last night to finish it and a few other projects when I found myself quite bored,” Tech piped up. 

“Sorry, Tech. I didn’t mean—” 

“You have nothing to apologize for. It meant a lot to me to have someone with us who also appreciates books and knowledge as much as I do. Making something as simple and small as a reading light is the least I could do in return.” 

She reaches out and takes Tech’s hand, squeezing it for a moment as a way to say thank you. Tech squeezes back for a moment, then picks up the next project that had been sitting atop Gonky. 

Hunter is beaming with pride for his little family. 

Omega bounces up to them, her cheeks pink from frolicking in the great outdoors since she woke up. 

“Good morning!” She smiles brightly up at Hunter and his partner, throwing herself into their arms. 

“Good morning, Ad’ika [little one],”  Hunter laughs, hugging both his girls tightly, and making them laugh too. 

“Tech! Look what I found! What kind of flowers are they?” Omega holds out a bouquet of a wide variety of flowers, and Tech begins to tell her all about the different species and why they are different colors and shapes. 

Wrecker approaches, brushing off the grass acquired from following his little sister through the meadow and helping her pick one of every type of flower they could find. He pauses, picking two more flowers on his way over. 

“Mornin’!” He practically shouts as he arrives at the ramp to the ship. And then he leans forward and sticks one flower he just picked behind the ear of the girl, and one behind the ear of the woman at Hunter’s side. Beaming at the young girl and the woman, he wordlessly plops himself down in the grass at the foot of the ramp to listen to Tech rambling about the flowers in Omega’s hands. 

“A flower as beautiful as you, Sarad [flower]” Echo approaches from behind, holding a steaming mug of caf, and looking at the woman in Hunter’s arms. She smiles as Echo leans against the doorway behind Tech. 

“Aww, thanks, Echo.” 

He winks at her, and nods at Hunter. 

She cuddles her way into Hunter, who’s hand now rubs her back. He’s still smiling broadly, eyes full of love as he watches her. 

Crosshair nods his approval from his spot nearby, giving her one of his rare smiles, as he plucks a toothpick from one of the pockets on his belt. 

Maybe Hunter had been right. Not that she didn’t trust him, she just had trouble believing it when someone told her she was pretty. After a lifetime of what seemed like evidence to the contrary, it was nice to start a little collection of evidence beginning to prove that that notion may have been jaded by her own self-doubt. 

Please don't steal my work though! I pour my heart into these so if you like it please reblog to share instead of reposting it!

[lamonnaie]

hi!!!! gmmtv part 2 is happening soon so i wanted to ask you a few questions :)

what kind of shows are you expecting?? what kind of shows so you want to see??? which couples do you want to get a show and which couple do you think will get one??? is there anything you don’t want to see at all???

<3

sorry anon this has been sitting in my inbox for over a month, but it's gmmtv24 p2 eve so i'm finally getting around to answering it :)

ngl i haven't been super up to date on gmmtv stuff lately + a lot of my favourite actors aren't in the lineup which is kinda sad :(

NEVERTHELESS, let us proceed with the fun stuff hehehe

Predictions

Based off what artists have leaked + reddit detectives + my general delusions: (first 5 with asterisks are ones i'm extra excited for!!! :D)

**firstkhao mafia romcom directed by p'jojo - fk have a series confirmed by khao himself, and all their interactions with p'jojo ever since that first sus ig story makes this one almost 100% confirmed for me (maybe not all the details exactly, but fk with p'jojo at the very least).

**estwilliam cp debut - ALL THE DETECTIVE WORK HAS CONVINCED ME, after greatinn and thorfluke were successfully sussed out before part 1, i have faith that this is gonna come true too 🙏

**KRISTSINGTO COMEBACK - YOU DON'T JUST BRING BACK SINGTO WITHOUT EVERYONE CALLING FOR THIS and there's nothing gmmtv loves more than the big bucks so we all know this is happening 😌

**bounprem's vampire project reannounced (possibly with a new trailer) - i think this one's a given and probably why bp will be there. i'm not sure how long this whole sws gmmtv overhaul has been in the works for, so i dont know whether they'd have filmed a new trailer or not, but i'm expecting some more gmmtv artists to be added to the cast as well.

**new perthchimon bl - i hate myself for not staying up to date enough on perthchimon news lately😭 but i swear someone somewhere strongly hinted at it ???

new joongdunk bl (more adult setting??) - again, i swear i saw someone somewhere confirming/hinting at this, but idk

At least 1 more gl announced - 23.5 is going pretty well and i think they're gonna keep trying it out (emibonnie? viewjune? janjane?)

lego lykn's acting debut + mark pakin main role - As confirmed by the people themselves in livestreams (just grouping them together for shits and giggles lol) also leads me to think some of the other lykn members might dip into acting? 👀

gemini in a het series (with prim or a newbie) - definitely expecting non-bl works for both gemini and fourth, and i've been seeing stuff about geminiprim?? 👀

Wishlist

perthchimon non-school bl directed by p'aof - i will happily take them in whatever capacity we get but i'd love to see them with p'aof in a more mature setting + with a solid good plot

perth in a bl with a different cp partner - i love perthchimon and i love dangerous romance with all my heart, but i also love mixing and matching all the blorbos and i'd love to see perth opposite some others (gmmtv would give us ohmperth if they weren't cowards)

more plot-heavy bls where romance isn't necessarily the main thing - i want to see some less tropey works, where the non-romance plot is more the main focus of the the show

midnight museums s2 - this is not in a million years happening, but a girl can dream 😭😭

dark romance/something more gritty - honestly thing gmmtv does best with their lighter shows, which is why i think it'd be interesting to see them branch out a bit more

another bounprem bl 🤪 - this probably wouldn't have even happened before the gmmtv switch, and don't think it's gonna happen now, but bp are my day 1s and i'm always gonna root for them, solo or together 🥹🥹💞

sports bl !!!! - i've been on a sports drama kick lately, and gmmtv has plenty of sporty people, so make it happen!!

a proper enemies to lovers bl (WITHOUT a childhood meeting reveal) - i need them to truly DESPISE each other's guts before they get together

heartliming spinoff 🫡 - geminifourth's best work imo and i don't think anything will ever beat it for me <3 it would make for such a good show if it's executed well (i have full faith in gem4th and p'aof), it's been too long now, but i would actually die if this happened

a platonic friendship-based show - i just wanna see a really good friendship group (which we can make gay in the headcanons anyway lol) and put them in situations, whether it be crime fighting, trouble making or anything in between honestly

be gay do crime - need i say more? (why are half of my wishes lowkey the same thing reworded 💀)

I think that's all i have in mind (for now). Happy gmmtv24 part 2 everyone !!!! <33