#another long one still not sorry
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#legend has it Armand is still feeling threatened by Claudia to this day#interview with the vampire#claudia de pointe du lac#armand#louis de pointe du lac#loumand#iwtv#vampterview#iwtv meta#iwtvedit#vampchives#this is about claudia and armand btw. him feeling threatened by her wight in Louis' life#since my previous armand x claudia gifset had flopped. the most logical next step would be obviously making another one lmao#was working on a gifset but caps work better. had more ideas but this is already hella long#centered text? never heard of her. sorry it's ugly but i have no time nor energy to retake the caps and remake it#iwtv spoilers#screencaps
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Beast Yeast's power couple 💪🧀🌶
#tumblr ate the quality#click for better quality. tumblr hates me#i love a good power couple when i see one#considering these two pass for meta and probably will be for a long time#sorry for the absense. shit kind of hit the fan and im still trying to convince myself its not january anymore.#ive got another queued though! thou shall not go famished much longer#crk#crk fanart#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#burningcheese#goldenspice#art#crnl's crk journal
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You wake up due to a an odd discomfort around your groin, you feel around and touch something soft and plastic?
You turn on the lights and find yourself lock in a small, pink chastity cage
You panic a little, you’ve never done this before, you try to pull it off and it won’t budge and you notice just how little you can touch your member now
You get hard
It hurts
You look around the room and see an envelope next to a small pile of clothes and some odd plastic?
You open the envelope
My dearest love,
You wronged me, the fact you wouldn’t know who I am makes it that much worse
So I thought it’d only be right if I punished you
As you might’ve found out already I’ve securely locked you up and only I have the key
If you ever want it back you’ll need to do some things for me first
Mod course you won’t be allowed to touch your memeber until I release you
Next you will need to wear the clothes, and insert the remote anal vibrator I provided to you
You will then need to watch any porngraphic content I send you over the course of the next 2 weeks, dressed up and wearing the plug
I’ve made a separate number where we can chat
I expect you to use the proper respect when talking to me
I expect you to thank me for teaching you how to be a good girl
And I expect you to drop whatever you’re doing whenever I send you a message, and if I so ask you’ll put on the shuttle clothes I gave you, put in the plug, and watch whatever degrading smut I sent you while I control your ass
Do this like a good girl for 2 weeks and I’ll take off the cage
Mess up once, and I’ll flush the key down the drain
Oh and don’t think to get it removed or anything, I got that onto you without you noticing once, and if you get it off I’ll know that means you’re ready for your second round!
And trust me you wouldn’t like the second round, something tells me that you’d hate losing your freedom of movement
So now be a good girl and dress yourself up already love~
I’m waiting
Oh! And one more thing!
I can and will change the rules at any time, for example one I thought of right now: the two weeks only count down if you spent the whole day in cute woman’s clothing, so if you ever put on those nasty clothes you’re wearing right now, the day doesn’t count and you still have 2 weeks to go
Good luck cutie! Try to keep me happy~
#I hope you won’t disappoint me#if you do end up taking off the cage it’ll be so sad#you won’t see the sun again for so long#but at least I’ll have my doll in my house#so it all has its up sides#so cutie do remember the choice is up to you for whether you keep it on or it gets removed#in all honesty I’d prefer it if I had a life-in-doll#.#force#forcefem#i-like-talking#..#big post time!#hope y’all enjoyed!#sorry that I haven’t been posting or responding as much lately#I’ve been *busy*#but still I’ve read all you’re messgages and they’ve all made me smile!#thank you all so much!#(you’re the reason I do this!)#(though sorry for still not thanking you one on one I need to get better at that)#(just know there’s a pretty good chance *you* are the reason I made this post!)#(so thanks! and I hope you had a great day! and will have another one!)#(goodnight cutie!)
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One of my favorite things about Psych is how when they establish a character fact, they stick with it.
Have I at all heard that Gus did tap before the Episode Where He Does Tap? No! But it's brought up/he does tap in several episodes afterwards!!! (Tap-Man and the Seabirds comes to mind)
Did Juliet have a brother before Ewan "JOOOOOHN CEEEEENAAAAA" O'Hara appeared? Not really, although they DID say she had a large (at least extended) family. And they bring him up afterwards!! (Obviously the Bourne episode but also her dad mentions her "and the boys" growing up with Lloyd)
Did Shawn know what Phineas and Ferb was before it was referenced?? Who knows!! But now he's watching their marathons!!
And like!! We love that!! I can't super think of any other examples but there's something so refreshing and comforting to have details that for any other show would've been one-offs never to be brought up again instead become a more nuanced part of the character as a whole!!!
#edit: NOT TO ADD IN ANOTHER THING. BUT I JUST REMEMBERED THAT THEY MENTION THE EP1 DETECTIVE SEVERAL TIMES!!!!#obviously psych isn't perfect#I'm sure there are some details and plotholes in season one or somewhere else that don't get ironed out#but!!!#BUT STILL!!!!#I love psych your honor#just yelling into the void#psych 2006#burton guster#ewan o'hara#juliet o'hara#shawn spencer#I feel like I'm going feral#is this good writing? is this what a good show is?#I feel like I've been living off a steady diet of spn and spn-lite with only avatar as the pinnacle of shows#(it is but with only one example and it's literally peak writing I feel like I haven't actually watched a well-written show in ages)#shows I've liked? sure! shows with heart? certainly!#but good shows??? consistently well-written. long-ass. funny. heartfelt. good shows???#chat am I crazy or is psych actually a wonderful show with good (even if sometimes dated) writing???#(I am still not over John Cena playing Ewan O'Hara I'm sorry)
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Return date for my webcomic, Time and Time Again!
It's been set for a while but sometimes they change the date without warning, so I'll keep you updated if anything changes!
I'm extremely proud of the work I've been doing on it, I can't wait to share everything!
See you then!
#i still have to finish book 4#soooo iiiiiii will do that... this week...#really trying to be done with it but this one is taking so long for all the changes!#hoping to have an update on that soon too#might have taken on a few too many projects#but yay! return!#yippee!!!#i would say sorry its been so long but theres no way it could have been shorter and other people are gone way longer#i tried to leave things on a nice note so itd only be missed for wanting more#and not missed for feeling abandoned#ok! time to get up for another day of work! really need some things off my list so my days can be like.#9/10 hours instead of 12 LOL#im so tired. im legitimately extremely overworked it's a problem#ok bye back to work for me#return#hiatus stuff#time and time again#announcement#use this post to talk about how excited you are and make guesses and shower me with praise :-)[-[#LMAO
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yall i have a confession to make….i fucking hate slowburn.
#THERE I SAID IT#IM SORRY#I just cant like when it gets too long atp MOVE ON WIT IT#like i get wanting to take ur time i guess#but wtf do you mean yall are makin out every chap#holding hands#youve met the ENTIRE FAMILY#AND yall said i love you#and somehow you still dont know what this feeling is/what you are ??? please.#cus like atp yall jus draggin it#i could talk about my hate for this trope for hours#i have another one i hate but i fear i would be burned at the stake for it so#im keepin that to myself😭#cash confesses#cash is sorry (no she aint)#cash speaks <3#cash rants#cash rambles !#cash is about to ramble
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famblies (found or otherwise)
#a sketch dump . by meeee . hiiii im here still i prommy#mash#hrughhh so man y people#trapper mcintyre#max klinger#bj hunnicutt#hawkeye pierce#radar oreilly#margaret houlihan#of which there is a distinct lack of for once lol#charles emerson winchester iii#francis mulcahy#and OTHERS sorry sorry im sure theres more#nurse kellye#u get one bc i like u a lot#waughhhhh most of these are because i went insane abt cute casual affection and families (see. the mcintyre girls bc im soooooooooooooooooo#normal abt that). but yeah enjoy i shall slink back into the shadows i am doing another mash painting so thatll probably happen at some#point. UMMM ummm. buy my acrylic charms boy.#my art#long post#NEARLY FORGOT THAT SJDKFSDF but tbh if u follow me its a long post. its always a long post unless i get too impatient to save up on drawing
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Okay literally no one asked but as a former Hobbit movie hater who has since experienced character growth, I feel compelled to share my thoughts on the movies on my gay little blog.
Listen. There are legit reasons to be critical of these movies. They were made on a rushed timeline, at time where CGI overuse was the thing and there are definitely unnecessary moments. But despite those issues, these movies still have a lot of heart and character and some really wonderful acting! To compare them to LOTR, is unfair I think because LOTR was such an unimaginable success and I truly believe no other movie franchise can do what those movies did. To expect the Hobbit movies to be the same caliber considering the behind the scenes drama and massive difference in timeline is just not it.
Truly I think that the Hobbit could have been much more than it was and it’s sad to see the amazing moments and realize that we could have had movies that were maybe closer to the level of LOTR, but that doesn’t take away from all of the great things that the movies gave us! Despite what he may be like irl, Martin Freeman was a great young Bilbo, Richard Armitage was insanely good as Thorin (despite the change in age) and the other dwarf actors brought a great sense of loyalty, brotherhood and shared loss to their roles. The music is still dope as hell and there are some beautiful shots despite all the CGI.
This is way too long and I’ve not said anything that hasn’t been said before but honestly, I’m so glad that I stopped hating on these movies and have seen the special things about them. Nothing will ever compare to LOTR, but that doesn’t make these movies bad. They’re fun, they’re emotional, they have great characterization and it’s super valid to enjoy them.
Final gay thoughts because I’m obligated, but I struggle with people who argue against Bagginshield with the whole “why does everyone have to make everything gay?” thing. Because Hollywood is so deeply homophobic that we see so little genuine queer representation, so forgive us for enjoying the chemistry we find and making it our own since our society gives us breadcrumbs. If you’re not into Bagginshield, totally legit and fine, but don’t hate on other people (especially queer people) trying to find some romantic love in media that we enjoy. Also no one can convince me that Richard Armitage wasn’t at least somewhat intentionally putting his queer energy into this role, I will die on this hill.
Anyway, TL;DR there’s no shame in liking or loving the Hobbit movies despite their faults and there are lots of things to appreciate and enjoy and I for one, am glad to leave my LOTR purist hater days behind me
#the hobbit#the hobbit movies#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#bagginshield#lotr#I will die on this hill#as a reformed hater#I know no one cares but what is my gay blog for if not to rant about my own takes#let people enjoy things you haters#like I love LOTR more than anything in the world and I know the Hobbit movies weren’t as good but still#they are so enjoyable and I refuse to be a hater anymore#and that’s on GROWTH#life is so much more fun when you enjoy things#okay sorry another tag but it has to be said#someone shipping characters together doesn’t take away from anyone else’s desire to see those characters in a platonic way#like as long as it’s not a clearly problematic ship just leave people alone#like damn we can enjoy things in different ways and no one has to be right#I also love the argument of NO THESE CHARACTERS ARE STRAIGHT#like oh? was that explicitly said? no? well then let people interpret how they will#let’s stop assuming everything is always straight
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MiqoMarch Day 10 - Promise
"'Promises are what keep us together.' That's what you said once, yeah? Then let these rings show our promise: To love each other till our dying breaths."
#ffxiv#ffxiv gpose#miqomarch#miqomarch2025#wolgraha#wolshtola#y'shtola x wol#graharshtola#arsay nun#y'shtola rhul#g'raha tia#yeah sorry its another wolship one#what can I say they live in my head rent free#the rings were something she asked tataru to craft before she left for tural but she was still unsure if she wanted to give them#the same way she hesitated for so long to give yshtola that bracelet#but that one quest in the first section of living memory kinda gave her the inspo to just go ahead and do it#funny enough tataru slipped the finished rings in with g'raha's stuff before him and shtola left for tural#so they were right there for arsay to give when they got the chance to finally unpack after the msq wrapped#and it just so happens that this prompt loosely lines up with the words she'd say while presenting them to her partners#and yes im purposefully misquoting because Arsay didnt remember it perfectly that moment happened like a year ago for her#and she was goin through it when she heard him say that#I know technically they should just have two rings each but lets just call the third one the paired engagement ring and call it a day lol#the cyan crystal is from around the tower and the dark stone in the moon is the same stone used in arsay and yshtolas bracelet ^^#the bit of white is crystal taken from the first - heavily imbued with light aether so only a little bit was used per person
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[intro]
Bakugou is a prideful, arrogant person. He holds himself to the highest standard; he is the best and everyone else is simply below him. Everything he has ever done was in pursuit of being number one, shining above the rest. He has to have a perfect victory, he has to be a perfect student, he has to win to save.
He pushes and pushes and won’t let anyone see his weaknesses or his insecurities. He can never lose, he can never fail, he can never show that he regrets or hesitates or that he hasn’t thought everything through. He must never be vulnerable in every sense of the word.
Then why is he standing in the rain.
To apologize shouldn’t be a sacrifice, but it is for Bakugou. To pour his feelings, to admit his wrong, to let down all of the walls he has built and be vulnerable. And in front of his whole class.
He is willing to sacrifice his pride, to fully sacrifice any superiority he could have, to bare his soul and even risk rejection. Because he knows Midoriya is more important. Because he wants him to come home, he wants him to know his true feelings, because he wants things to change.

Because Midoriya has changed him. Midoriya has opened his eyes; by showing him he’s allowed to be open, that his feelings should be expressed, that he has so much to learn, and so much of that was learned through Midoriya just existing.
He isn’t sacrificing his safety frivolously because he’s expected to as a hero; he is doing it because he has grown. He is doing it because he has finally admitted to himself that he wants Midoriya to be with him and safe.
So I will sacrifice this for you. Not because it will change anything, as much as I want that I know that I can’t just fix all the wrong with just this. And I am willing to do as much as it takes to earn your forgiveness. But I don’t need that from you, not now and not ever if you don’t want that, I just need you to rest. I did so much wrong. And I am sorry for everything. You don’t have to do this alone. Lean on us. You are so strong and being supported doesn’t discount that. You’ve taught me that.
I hate the rain. But I will brave it for you.
He would do everything in his power, admit so many things, just to get Midoriya to take care of himself. We see him being the most vulnerable he has ever been in front of people that aren’t Midoriya. He does so much completely out of character, all in pursuit of being there for Midoriya.
For Izuku.
He finally gets over himself and finally tells Midoriya the feelings he has felt for so long.
He lets go of this idea he is inherently better and finally acknowledges that his hatred for Midoriya has always been about his own shortcomings and insecurities. But he still wants to be better, they are still rivals. He isn’t going to sacrifice that part of him because that is just who he is; he is still going to push to number one.
But now it’s different.
There is verbal and vocal acceptance and respect. Before it was unspoken; their relationship had changed ever since Ground Beta. They were proper rivals, with mutual respect and care, they were actively making each other better.
But Bakugo finally verbalizes it and tells Midoriya, not only is he sorry, but he wants to actually have a proper friendship; he wants to continue to become better and earn his forgiveness. He wants them to push each other to be better, he wants to continue to fight for the top spot, he still wants to be the best.
But when did it become something else?
When was the turning point when it started to shift from wanting to surpass Midoriya and be the best, to wanting to keep up with Midoriya and stay by his side?
Bakugou has already sacrificed himself for Midoriya before. His body moved on its own; with no hesitation, he would save Midoriya. He has already risked his life for him. But there is a layer to it that I don’t think people talk about.
He tells Midoriya he shouldn’t try to win this on his own.
He disguises his concern with an insistence that he’s in it to fight for himself when he initially joins the battle. But it is to fight by Midoriya’s side and support him.
But taking the hit for Midoriya, jumping in the way isn’t just support. This is sacrifice. This is giving yourself to ensure the safety of someone. And it was second nature.
There are two reasons and both are a sacrifice of something in the moment.
It is knowing someone is so valuable, so great, in all senses of the word, that they must be protected. Bakugou is sacrificing his body and admitting that Midoriya needs to stay alive, for personal reasons and/or for the world. He needs Midoriya to be okay, Midoriya can’t fight alone and Bakugou will do anything to make sure he will be okay.
But the sacrifice of ideology.
With every development, he has relinquished parts of himself. When he sacrifices himself he is not only sacrificing his body but is admitting that he can’t do this on his own; he needs Midoriya too. This isn’t him wanting to be better than Midoriya, it’s him wanting to do it together.
Midoriya changed him.
He doesn’t die for Midoriya. He wakes up and just as his last thought was Midoriya, so was his first as he woke up. He runs to his side. People are dragging him back, trying to have him rest, knowing before he even said anything that he would lose his mind over Midoriya’s situation.
Everyone sees how Bakugou feels about Midoriya.
He sacrifices himself because Midoriya can not die on him. Midoriya has to stay alive. Midoriya has to keep fighting.
There can not be a world that doesn’t have him in it.
This is the culmination of what has been developing ever since the final exam where Bakugou finally works with Midoriya; the day that win to save, save to win was noticed. Then furthered after Ground Beta where they finally talked to each other and something changed within them both.
But the final sacrifice is the culmination of Bakugou’s character.
He knows what this decision will mean. Everyone screams for him not to. He knows that he is going to die. He knows he will not win this fight.

This isn’t dying for the cause. This isn’t just a hero complex. This is because he can help Midoriya and he will. This is for Izuku.
I will sacrifice myself for you. To give you more time, to give you even the slightest chance of winning. I will sacrifice myself for you because you are who can win. I am going to die. I am going to die and in my final thoughts, I will ask if I will still be able to be by your side.

It is no longer can I beat you. It is no longer can I surpass you. It is can I still catch up to you. It is can I still even be equal to you. He has already sacrificed the idea that he could beat Midoriya, that isn’t what he wants anymore. What he wants is to stay here with him.
I will sacrifice everything I am. I have wanted to be the best. All my life I have wanted to surpass you and everyone around me. But you. I will let that go for you. I let it go in my mind for so long now and I have never wanted to admit it. Is it even possible? Is it even possible for me to catch up to you? Is it even possible for me to stay by your side. I can’t be that anymore. I am sacrificing even that now. I will never be number one now. I will never become the person I always dreamed to be. I will never surpass you. I am forever sacrificing that now. I will die here.
But can I still be with you?
The sacrifice of his life is him fully relinquishing everything he is, admitting that he can’t keep up, losing all of the progress he has made, letting go of everything that made up his character.
And the last thing on his mind is if he can still be able to be by Midoriya’s side.

He won’t let him go again.
#EDITED BC I REALIZED I DIDNT PUT A READ MORE SO IT MUST BE SO OBNOXIOUS#so I finally finished putting in the images and mustered up the courage to post it#I’m always so nervous about posting opinions or anything long bc I get super passionate and I’m scared it’s wrong—#i added pictures as evidence but in reality is was bc i was super insecure that no one would want to read all that--#the intro was so long and was also made to apply to both togachako and bakudeku so i just made it a masterpost instead#this is still very long i am sorry but i have so many thoughts#but like yeah this is just my little essay about sacrifice and love and how they’re intertwined#and it goes both ways#but that’s for another day and another essay#togachako follow the sacrifice and love perfectly#so I will probably write one for them as well… maybe#bkdk#bakudeku#bnha meta#bakudeku meta#bnha analysis#mha analysis#bnha spoilers#<- for the whole manga but cmon if ur reading this you know it all#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku
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three can pine for eight a little bit.. as a treat
#i have agent 24 brainrot rn sorry#i love them. their dynamic is everything.#i feel like theyd be incredibly attached after the events of oe#this is also an au where three spent time with eight on the subway while eight eas still finishing tests#so they bonded a lot during that time#also makes hijacked three even juicier#so theyre very attached by the time they reach the surface#living with eachother and supporting one another#and theyre in that awkward crush phase for a long time#oc: josh#oc: viv#agent 3#agent 8#agent 24#my art#splatoon
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next // previous
september 25, 2021 6:50 p.m. myshuno restaurant
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#sims 4 story#sims 4 storytelling#simblr#hlcn: everything the stars promised#holocene.docx#holocene.png#hlcn: grant#hlcn: juhani#hlcn: varpu#go figure that the two most pleasant people at the table are the ones who are under the least pressure to be friendly with grant#even he was shocked someone besides his future stepmother was quite nice to him#world's awkwardest small talk though#i apologize for making any and all readers sit through another painful dinner scene dgfdkgfdkgdf#three of these back to back sorry but i promise there is a reprieve soon#additional thought: i still despise grant's father lmao he gets more obnoxious every time i include him in something#also (rambles): the particular subject matter of this small talk is a thematic follow up to some previous lore drops#specifically grant talking to henry about his messy college days and also the now very old babysitting scene with his nephews#this is also very much a grant getting triggered moment#triggered enough to recover some long forgotten memories#he really should have just dropped the conversation but he needed to have this rant in a weird way
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✈️ Daily Plane #28 - 16/06/2024
Green Dot #1
Time taken: 8 hours
Requested by: N/A
ID: An Airbus A320 flying over heavy clouds away from the viewer in a sunset scene. The Airbus is using the livery from aviation youtuber Green Dot Aviation.
#dailyplanes#aircraft#airplane#avgeek#aviation art#id in post#id in alt#airbus a320#green dot aviation#LONG TIME NO SEE. sorry about that. i think i ifinally have my life and mental health slightly more under control again!#i got another one ready for tomorrow already drawn just to make things a bit easier on my self#since i'm still working a full time job
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i loooove when ocs unrealized development makes them feel like real people like no i dont know whether talon is genuinely attracted to women after years of both clinging to them for safety and years of putting them onto that untouchable idealized Perfect Protector Pedestal that must remain untainted by any bad experiences, so he doesn't even try to Be With any. He doesn't know either
#like i heart bisexual men so part of me is like no yeah he does like women. he literally loves women#>what if this is just love as general blind devotion solely on the basis of them not being men#we all know he likes men without much of what would be societal shame but he still grapples with it in that personal way#in the if i like men it means i like them despite what happened to me -> i secretly like what happened to me way#talon like i like men and women but i could never spend my eternal life with a man. as a way to just focus on one thing (finding said women#instead of letting himself think about anything else at all#oc text#ill let it float into my mind but idk because this would mess up his original plot before i kept him#though tbh i want to keep keeping him idk if ill ever let him go back home ykwim. long gone concept at dis point he's mine now. ours#talkys#also this makes things more interesting too in the way of#well it was previously thought that talon has a great interest in [smunker] because of smunkers Body#a sort of unintentional and subconscious rejecting of [smunker's] gender and seeing him#as not a man#now its like. what if its not that. it rly is just sole attraction to men because well al is also a pretty feminine guy#views challenged because no‚ men one way (bad) and women another way (good)#but theres TWO guys here who exhibit femininity so he's like wait hold onnnnnn waittttt#that subconscious conflict still exists though in the fearing al (at first) due to his body and both terrorizing and clinging to [smunker]#because of his#the terrorizing because talon sees his original self in smunker (weak and youthful‚ cherubic‚ naive)#theres so many layerssss#anyway yes. loving women as in of course i love women. beautiful and they keep me safe#but not in any way further than that... i love them i can and will kiss them and do much more but it doesnt feel The Same#i dont think i actually even have any fully gay guy characters [EXCEPT MAYBE THE SELF? LMAO IDK] bc i love bisexual men so much#groundbreaking...#wait sorry more oc rambling this actually would also make sense too because how i imagine talon with women is exaggerated#complete personality change to be pleasant and pliable and you can do whatever you want to me#when its also known that the reason he ''acts out'' with al and [smunker] is because he feels safe enough to drop any and all masks to do s#hmmmmmmmm i must keep thinking
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i've written an Emmrich x Rook daddy kink fic but the real question is when i'm going to get around to writing a Lucanis x Rook mommy kink fic with Lucanis as the mommy ;)
#LISTEN I SEE A DARK HARIED BROWN EYED MAN WHO COOKS AND GO “MOMMY? SORRY. MOMMY??”#i did it with gale dekarios and i'll do it again with Lucanis#and when i write it as a POLYCULE WITH DADDY EMMRICH???? oh it's gonna be so fucking fun#literally can't finish any fics because the second i sit still for too long i start coming up with another one that i have to write#the wip i have in my head is lucanis overhears rook and emmrich participating in daddy kink (something they've not done with him around yet#and he ALSO overhears emmrich referring to him as rook's mommy and something Awakens in him#for a brief second i thought about giving Emmrich the mommy treatment but i like the thought of calling peepaw daddy too much lol#people who follow me for dragon age content i'm so sorry. you're going to have to put up with this thought train for as long as it lasts#my bad :)#emmrich volkarin#emmrich x rook#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis x rook#dragon age the veilguard
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to the next stage of our adventure! digimon survive week 2024 day 7: post-game / future personal thoughts under the cut - less about the artwork and more about shuuji and lopmon themselves. a long rambling containing major spoilers and heavy topics. will cause whiplash. proceed with caution.
other than the fact this may be boring and long-winded, cw and tw: there will be mentions of self-harm and suicide. if these topics make you uncomfortable, please step back. if you're sure, then alright. i'm aware this is a weird place to ramble about shuuji and lopmon considering the notorious highlight of their story would match the themes of day 5 (villains) and day 6 (dark & loss) better. unfortunately (ironically?) i never planned to feature them for those days, so... pretty sure i'm not the only one feeling this, but when i discovered that a good part of the fandom seems to loathe shuuji with utmost passion, even after they claimed to have completed the game, i was confused. the way his death happened and (understanding) the cause made me uncomfortable for a while, but never drove me to the point of hate... once i recovered from the initial shock, what i felt towards him was more pity, then respect (on truthful route). i feel shuuji should have been one of the most appreciated characters in survive. yet it was the opposite that happened. (between you and me though, knowing there was this discourse with the fact digimon survive is a visual novel, i'm not that surprised it turned out this way...) from my point of view, lopmon evolving into wendimon then killing shuuji symbolizes suicide, the act of taking one's own life. it was the climax of shuuji's mental breakdown, leading him to basically self-destruct, causing damage to everyone around him and ultimately himself. lopmon evolved, just like he hoped. but failed to do it like other kemonogami partners (maintaining control of themselves and fending off enemies). the next and final outcome was death, through his own partner actually eating him alive too. it reminds me how when someone thought they have prepared well for something important yet it failed spectacularly, the devastation and frustration would eat them in the same way from inside. and they probably would for one second think, "i'm better off dead". the more i pondered about it, the more it hit home, so of course, the last thing i could do is hate him, when his struggles sound similar to my own - having to rely on consistent achievements to prove your value, to feel you are worth living and not a waste of resources. the part where shuuji went all abusive on lopmon felt like the equivalent of pushing yourself to the extreme to reach your goal, to the point of neglecting your own needs. it's like a student so absorbed in their study, sacrificing food and sleep, until their body eventually snaps and shuts down for good (...this in fact happened to one of the students at my previous workplace. she was in her last year of high school. life was just about to truly start for her when her classmate informed us of her sudden death). even in truthful route where shuuji and lopmon survive that point, things aren't immediately nice and easy for him. you can see that he still has self-doubts, and what i think is impostor's syndrome. he could be making a great contribution to the team and still put himself down for having done "nothing". i have found it interesting that artists and writers tend to be especially fond of shuuji. so perhaps it's not just the matter of one's upbringing - whether you were raised in a harsh, competitive environment and/or with family with (unreasonably) high standards so you can relate more easily to him - but also whether one can see just what every struggle shuuji and lopmon went through symbolizes shuuji's mental state. out of all survive characters, i think shuuji and lopmon pulled off this thing called "surviving" the hardest, no joke. which is why i almost always gravitate to drawing them happy because that's what they deserve :') after all this, what i also would like to say is, it's okay if a character makes you uncomfortable. it's okay if you hate a character. but never, ever bring down the character to people who like them or even consider them their favorite or comfort character. if you must, do it in your own space and only with like-minded people.
#digimon#digimon survive#shuuji kayama#lopmon#survive week#survive week 2024#obligatory shuuji-focused post where i make myself go a bit ✨ extra ✨#sorry for the long rambling tho i just thought i never had the chance to put this in words and this time i really want to do it#thanks for being patient with me :')#so i didnt manage to post for all days after all but i still have the ideas and sketches#if i ever finish them i will post and tag#if we have another survive week next year i hope i can actually prepare early so i could just schedule posts like a boss#then enjoy every submission without having to worry about finishing my next one#back to commissions starting tomorrow o7 updated my vgen listings recently so feel free to look around if you'd like#let's keep surviving y'alls#png
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